#i’ve been using my own body as a reference for years and i guess my proportions are just hideous

[usedtobethelegendcreator]

FUCK canonically accurate character designs, it’s MY turn to go stylized.

[pinkaditty]

Who's Passing NNN? Tokyo Debunker

sigh

a/n: this is extremely low effort but in my defense im pretty sure i was drugged on halloween. *ahem* originally this was SUPPOSED to be low effort but clearly i got way too into it. anyways. i’ve been working a lot lately which is why i don’t have many works out rn! i work weekdays from 8 in the MORNING so it’s a lot going on but i use what little free time i have yk? ntm i have MULTIPLE projects im also working on 4 a different site so it’s a lot. i don’t think anyone’s gonna read this but im working on being a vtuber so its lots of prep lmfao! and with that, my weekends are mostly spent sleeping or with friends, but i really enjoy my work. ill be going back 2 school eventually so i need 2 figure out how the hell im gonna make that work, but i will. amen. pray 4 me y’all. oh also reqs r still being worked on i promise. just gotta get this fucking schedule under wraps.  anyways. this came 2 me on a random sunday (betraying the lord as usual) and i decided. lets write porn. i wanna do something silly bc my friends have been panicking abt climate change and its rubbing off on me. amen! quick disclaimer that i write these under the assumption the tokyo debunker boys are at least 18 years old. they appear to be present at a university considering there are professors and a chancellor. not to mention the boys drink, smoke, gamble, and refer to themselves as adults.

summary: who out of the tokyo debunker boys will pass nnn? who will fail? cliche i know but let me have this

cw: jerking off i guess. mc mentioned but no physical appearance described. MINORS DNI!!!!!!! Frostheim || Vagastrom || Jabberwock || Sinostra || Hotarubi || Obscuary || Mortkranken (before you ask vagastrom and jabberwock r already written jus not posted yet)

MINORS DNI AS PER USUAL TY FOR RESPECTING MY BOUNDARY!

Frostheim:

Jin Kamurai: Pass

Pretty touch and go with this guy. He’s never heard of it before, so when it’s a sudden trend around campus, he’s not visibly piqued, but he is… interested. Outwardly, he’d think it’s absolutely fucking ridiculous. Inwardly? He’d want to do it to prove something to himself. Of course, on the rare occasion he has an odd dream… well, he prioritizes his own pleasure over some pathetic game. 

He finally wakes up from a rather interesting he just had after lounging around and avoiding his work. You’re supposed to be coming soon to drop off some documents. Maybe that’s why you were in his dream. Hmph… What, he dreams of his… servants, now? Rolling over proves to be a challenge when his half-hard cock jumps at the slightest shift of his sheets. Now this? Well, he won’t hesitate to take care of it. A simple pillow will do the trick. In mere moments he’s humping into a large pillow, burying his face in one end and thrusting his hardening clothed cock in the other end. The friction more than satisfies his needs. He’s so focused on it that his vision swims, most of his body going slack except for his arms squeezing the pillow taut to his chest and his hips insistently searching deeper, warmer, and wishing for wetter, tighter. When it’s all over, and his focused expression melts into a slack-jawed, bleary-eyed one, he knows he’d much rather stay here, in his sheets. His warm, sticky release, however, will eventually turn uncomfortably cold, and he knew you were on your way. 

Tohma Ishibashi: Pass

He’s participating because he knows Jin is participating. That’s really all there is to it. He’s not interested in any clout or anything, just thinks it’s funny. He doesn’t do this too frequently, but often enough to keep his rocks off, you know? Sometimes, though, he doesn’t really get any free time for months cleaning up after Jin, so… It’s those times that are more interesting. 

He tries rather hard to go slow for the sake of savoring it, but fails miserably - it’s been months, after all. His uniform is much too hot to be doing this in, but god forbid he waits another minute. A sweaty collar and cum-stained slacks could be washed, anyway. Despite starting with slow strokes, before he knows it, his hand is wrapped around his dick, rubbing furiously like there’s no tomorrow. His other hand claws into the bedsheets beneath him, pulling them every which way. His face contorts into a number of different expressions: his jaw clenched tight and his eyes narrowed harshly, or his jaw slack with his tongue lolling out and his eyes rolling to the back of his skull, or even his lips pressed tight together to stifle moans with his eyes screwed shut just as well. Regardless, he’s enjoying himself and desperately trying to keep a hold of himself. Finally, when the wave of pleasure comes, he presses his face into his pillow, knowing it’s hopeless to attempt to keep quiet. He spills more than he intends every single time, and when he collapses on himself, feels his dampened body melt into his equally dampened sheets. His hair is disheveled, his uniform is sloppy, and his monocle slips off his face. Fuck. He’d have some washing to do. 

Lucas Errant: Pass

Do you think this guy masturbates? Like genuinely? I don’t doubt it but I think if he was challenged to go a month without it he’d manage fine. I think, at best, he does it when he’s so fucking exhausted from studying that he can’t focus. 

Like, he’s studying one night. An itch makes itself known, but it’s easily suppressed. He smoothly focuses on his work. The itch rises again. He ignores it again. His leg begins to twitch. He ignores it even more. His leg starts bouncing without him realizing it. He presses a hand down on his knee, purposely avoiding touching his thighs, and attempts once again to focus on his work. The itch spreads, reaching from his groin to his legs, slowly crawling up his back. He still stifles it and forces his eyes to absorb the words on the paper of the book in front of him. The itch reaches his neck, creeping up his spine to his face. Suddenly, he’s flushed, and he realizes that, despite his best efforts, here he sits: half-hard, not absorbing the information in the book, his breathing heavy and his vision swimming. Damn! He allows himself the slightest freedom, knowing that will lead him to the gates of release whether he wants that or not. When he’s covered in his own sticky release a few minutes later, clarity hits him at last. He bites his lip and suppresses a groan as he stuffs himself back into his pants, shaking his head to rid himself of the cloudy orgasmic feeling. Finally, back to work. 

That being said, November is a cinch… unless this happens. 

Kaito Fuji: Fail

I don’t need to explain myself I think lol! Horniest virgin on the face of the earth. Yes, he fails, to thoughts of you, at that! I’m even willing to bet the one time he tries, he fails accidentally via wet dream. Sucker! It’s surprising, though… When he puts his mind to it, he really can keep his hands off himself… for less than a month. 

It’s late at night and he’s not studying, rather rolling around in his bed, back and forth, trying to resist the insistence of his cock, pressing into the mattress at full mast. He huffs face first into his pillow, feeling his cock strain against his underwear. He could stand this for a little longer. Just a little longer… November just started, sure, but if he beat his record of one week, that’d be accomplishment enough for him. He has to resist the urge to whine as he rolls over again, his cock pressing and pressing and pressing against all things within reach. He rips the covers off of him, frustrated, feeling warm from the heat of his arousal anyway. He could get through this, right? His fingers grip his shirt collar, bunching it into his fist. His other hand gripped his phone, as though using it to ground himself. He shifted the screen to his face. Maybe he’d be able to find something to take his mind off of things. He opens WickChat and scrolls, searching for a distraction. However, the gods must be against him, because all he can do is open his chat with you, and pretend you’d sent him nudes. He tosses his phone back onto his bed, clenching his hand into another fist before it could drift any further towards his groin. He bites furiously on his fingernails, burying his face into his pillows. His cock continued to beg for attention. 

a/n: well, i hope u enjoyed! im so tired and i have work in 6 hours. goodnight lmfao!

note that i appreciate likes, comments, and reblogs!! im not open for reqs atm, but please feel free to just hop in 2 give little random thirsts or something, i don't mind!

[gatheringbones]

[“Later in the day, while Heather and I were making the bed and talking about the chores we needed to get through the next morning, she used a male pronoun in regard to me. “Well that’s gonna be weird, huh?” I said. “Not saying ‘he’ for me anymore.” “What do you mean?” she asked. “I mean I want to transition. I want to become a woman… fully.” She paused and fell silent. I think the revelation that I was a transsexual truly hit her in this moment. She slowly started to comprehend that this didn’t mean I’d simply be cross-dressing around the house. It started to hit me, too. I wanted to transition genders, and there was a lot more to that than just hormones and surgery. Neither of us fully understood what it meant yet, or where to start.

The next day Andrew and James met me at the studio to talk about plans around the album and the future of the band. Jordan came, too, as he was again filling in as our manager. Until then, I’d been telling them that I was writing a concept album about a transsexual prostitute—the metaphor behind the feeling of having whored myself out to a record label was thinly transparent since James, Andrew, and I were all processing our own post-traumatic stress disorder from the past couple years of music industry hell. Previously, I’d been able to sneak a few subtle metaphors about my dysphoria in here and there. But an album focused entirely on it? I didn’t know how to explain that, and the new songs were not sticking with the guys.

James could make out a few lyrics to the title track through his in-ear monitors: “You want them to see you like they see every other girl / But they just see a faggot.” “Hey, man,” he said between takes. “Are you saying ‘faggot’ on this song? It sounds like you’re saying it a lot. Are people gonna be cool with that?”

I realized that the reason the words weren’t connecting with them was that they didn’t have the context. So I came out with it. I didn’t mean to, I just wanted them to understand. I couldn’t hold back the momentum of the day before. Once the truth was spoken, it could be contained no longer.

“It’s about me, and how I’m a transsexual. This is something I’ve been dealing with for a long time,” I told them. Once I started explaining it, I couldn’t stop. It was like an out-of-body experience where I saw myself, but was powerless to hold back the flood of words. “I want to start living as a woman, and to be referred to as Laura. This is something I’ve thought about a lot and isn’t going away, so I might as well embrace it.”

No one knew what to say once I finally stopped rambling. The three of them just sat there in the studio control room, looking down at their feet or at whatever lit-up piece of audio equipment their eyes could find, focusing anywhere but on me. We’d had some heavy conversations over the years—emotional moments where we’d told each other off or outright quit the band—but nothing compared to this. Andrew’s usually warm smile was locked in since I started talking, and it looked like it was going to melt off his face. His skin flushed red, trying not to flinch. There was nothing any of them could say. I broke the silence by asking them to come smoke a joint with me. We got high standing in a circle in the open back doorway. “OK, well,” I said. “I guess that’s all we’ll do today. How about we try again tomorrow?”

We shared the most comically awkward group hug, a horrible mess of pats on the back and overly extended stiff arms. They left, and I locked the door behind them. Oh fuck, I thought. I called Heather and told her that I had just come out to them. It felt unreal to speak these secrets aloud, hearing myself verbalize thoughts that had only ever existed in my head.

The guys had an hour and a half back to Gainesville to think about all that had just been unloaded on them. James has since told me that as he sat there stoned on that long drive home, a lot of memories over the past 15 years suddenly started to make sense for him. My lyrics, my behavior on tour; one by one, he had tiny flashes of realization about me in this new light.”]

laura jane grace, from tranny: confessions of punk rock’s most infamous anarchist sellout, 2016

[therealhousewifeofharrystyles]

Harry’s Home

Part III.

Read Part 1 Here!

Read Part 2 Here!

Pairing/AU: Roommate!Harry // Roommate!Y/N

Word Count: ~ 4k words

⚠️ Content Warnings: Adult Language, Pining, Sexual Desire, References to Body Weight (“Chubby” Reader), Fantasies of Rough Sex, Breeding Fantasies, Exhibitionism, Explicit Depictions of Masturbation(M&F), Dirty Talk, ~Slow Burn~

So, yeah. Harry and I have successfully become somewhat close. We’ve put up with each other’s shit for long enough and eventually bonded—or whatever the hell you call it when a pair of sex-starved adults live in close quarters and they decide to play nice so the walls don’t come down on them.

Even though it’s the time of year when I can see my breath and I have to wear socks to protect my chilly toes when I’m lounging around the house, when I’m around Harry…I might as well be a tea kettle on the verge of squealing in steaming agony. I guess you could say I’ve been in heat.

I’m catching myself spacing all the time, hypnotized by his comfortable routine. He grasps my attention like it’s second-nature to him, and I have no other choice but to relent—to surrender. How fucking pathetic is that? Like, get a grip, woman. 

But seriously, I can’t take it anymore. I turn powerless and my body betrays me, simply from the man meeting my eyes with his from across the room. For someone to hold this much control over another human being by just existing…not only is it completely unfair, but it feels otherworldly. It’s as though a connection has been birthed out of the rawest, most sinful form of lust, with its sole purpose to fuse a pair of unwed and horny humans. Thus latching itself onto the two of us, melding an incubus with a siren.

I guess it could just be some crazy-intense sexual tension, too. There’s no fun in that explanation, but whatever. The point is that I can’t fucking take it anymore.  Me being so mesmerized by him performing the most mundane of tasks—unscrewing a new jar of jam, rubbing the sleep out of his face as he stumbles out of his bedroom, sneaking little peeks at me from across the room and smirking to himself after he looks away. God. That smirk keeps me up at night…my hands groping myself and massaging my clit to lull myself to dreamland.

Right…so about that…

For the past few months, Harry’s been able to hear me fucking myself through the thin wall that separates our two bedrooms. The divider does absolutely nothing to silence me and my explicit acts of self-pleasure. These walls couldn’t muffle a mouse, let alone an ambitiously horny, and impressively vocal young woman who’s desperate to get her rocks off…hard. 

And I’m certain he can hear everything—every gasp, every whine, every slick plunge of my fingers—or a toy—as they’re used in a merciless attack on my own body in order to chase an unattainable high…It's loud. It’s filthy. 

It’s pornographic.

And yet Harry indulges in my songs. I know he does. The only way I’m able to get myself off is to picture him on the other side…to close my eyes and astral-project my way into his room and assume the role of the voyeur…as the exhibitionist. I’m a walking oxymoron.

I imagine my waves of ecstasy seeping through the walls to awaken his neglected cock in his tight briefs.

I think to myself, 

…I bet he’s wondering whether or not I'm messing with him...if I know he’s listening to me…and if, perhaps, I want him to listen…

If only I were just playing a sick game of tease…Such a possibility would be utterly humiliating for Harry. He loathes feeling like his control is in the hands of another. Said power landing in my hands? Oh…No, no, no. Lest we forget the towel incident? Don’t let the sensitive late-night talks, the apology hugs, or the sleepy cuddles fool you; a switch, Harry is not. Not that he’s told me or anything, but it’s a feeling. When he drags his eyes down to slowly assess me…there isn’t a doubt in my mind that he’s in charge.

He has a limited threshold for teasing and babying, which is precisely why he shooed his own mother out the door after a mere 5 minutes of her jests. Harry spent his entire life as the baby. I sense he’s needed a release for quite some time…and it probably doesn’t help matters that my playful antics are sure-fire triggers for his dark dominance to take over. I think he’s struggled to find the right mate to unleash that part of himself with. At least completely, that is. And I hope I’ve been pressing just the right buttons to experience it all for myself. 

But yes, I’ve been fucking myself with lotsa gusto knowing he’s in close earshot of the action. Hopefully, he’s come to successfully make sense of some of my muffled ramblings beyond his wall as, “Yes, Daddy!” as well as the occasional gasp or moan of “Harry.” What? I like it…

Although I’d love to exacerbate the narrative that this has all just been a cruel game started by yours truly—a game that I’m winning, to be clear—I'm actually not messing with him. This had begun purely by accident, and now I'm just continuing to provide some adult entertainment for my, uh...housemate and…good friend. 

Before you scold me for being a perv, let me just finish explaining the situation. Because if Harry had a problem with something I did, he’d tell me. And he never complained about this. Never. 

Quite the opposite, actually.

The first time I did my private deeds with Harry eavesdropping in the next room, I'd initially felt horribly embarrassed. I hadn't realized how shameless I was, or how loud and desperate the noises were as they came out of me. Once I finally caught myself, it was like space and time had spun to a stop, and I was painfully aware of my raw indecency.

I wasn’t watching porn, reading erotica, or listening to naughty audio recordings. Nope. Only my lustful thoughts fueled the eagerness in my fingers as they played with my pussy. I’d also been blatantly inconsiderate of Harry and his right to privacy whilst they did. I felt dirty. I wasn’t thinking clearly. Pfft, I was hardly thinking of anything. It reminded me of the time just before we moved into this house…when I lurked on his social media pages for the images of his slick, half-naked body which burned themselves into my memory, all just to use him for my own personal, sick, sexual gratification.  

And there I was again—now cohabiting a space with the very inspiration for my filth and frustration—lying comfortably atop a spacious, girly pink towel to protect my bed linens from succumbing to my wetness. My knees were spread apart and my dripping cunt was on full display for my closed door across the room. If anyone walked in, they'd unknowingly be entering what many theme parks tend to call a “splash zone.” 

Luckily, Harry was in the living room watching some melodramatic video essay on YouTube…Or at least that’s where I’d left him before ending up in the not-so-innocent position atop my mattress.

I hadn’t thought about the fact that the house wasn’t empty until I heard my own whiny sighs combined with unmistakable slippery pussy-rubbing echoing throughout the room. My cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of pink once I’d realized the extent of my elevated volume. There was no way Harry couldn’t have heard all that. And I had no idea how long I’d been up to it, or for how long at that high of a frequency.

The click of a door closing nearby interrupted my nervous internal monologue—Harry’s door. He was mere meters away from my partially-nude body, but my private quarters kept me safe from any judging eyes. The wall our bedrooms shared stood as the only barricade between our two bodies. For a while, I dismissed my initial self-awareness and I slowly, and carefully, swirled my drenched fingertips over my clit. More of my liquid arousal coated my petite hand. For some reason, the idea of Harry walking in on me like that had me feeling hot. Realistically, that would’ve meant immediate, devastating humiliation. Did that mean I was into that? I’d say yes judging by the way I was pulsing around nothing whilst staring at my door, picturing the man himself standing there smirking at me…tilting his head and patronizing me. 

…Aw, would you look at tha’…Does that feel good, Sweet Bunny? 

“Mmhmm.” I found myself nodding with a sigh, my eyes relaxed and veiled. My mind refused to backtrack, and instead doubled-down. I probably should have stopped myself right there, but fuck, could self-sabotage feel good.

My brain directed me towards thinking about how pretty and sweet I was on the outside. My body, soft, and my features, so delicate, but so grabbable. Every part of me had an ample amount of plushness to squeeze. To manhandle. My tiny wrists and my elegant neck, the perfect size for a pair of big hands to wrap around. I bit my rosy lip on a whine, then brought my thumb up to rub and tease it before sucking on it. The sinful acts my mouth performed were a secret I kept with the few lucky men who’d experienced it for themselves. I wanted so badly to share that with Harry…I wanted to share all of myself with him. 

“Mmm…Harry.” I moaned aloud, releasing my wet thumb and sneaking it under my shirt, swiping the slick pad back and forth over my sensitive tit.

It was hard for me not to think about Harry whenever I touched myself. I thought about his fingers playing with my hair, him burying his face into my neck the times we cuddled…feeling his hard-on against my ass on the couch…the times when he’d hugged me…and catching his gaze drift down to my tits…I bet he’d thought I’d never notice, even after having done it multiple times in a single conversation. Hmm…was Harry Styles an ass man or a tit man? Or was he something else…? He certainly liked looking at my boobs…and I'm able to confirm that his body has a very positive reaction to pressing up against my butt…

Honestly, I didn’t even care what parts of the body Harry liked the most. All I cared about was how badly I wanted to feel him use mine. I wrapped my small hand around my throat and arched my back up off of the mattress, gasping as I mindlessly pushed two hooked fingers inside my tight opening, picturing a certain tall, curly-headed British man molesting me instead. The sound of my own moans enhanced my pleasure as I rode myself towards peak bliss. My modesty had become non-existent as my hands worked each sensitive spot between my legs and teased at my pebbled nipples. A part of me needed him to hear me that night. I was getting off on that taboo. But that’s all it was…my imagination. 

It was just a silly little fantasy. Harmless exhibitionism. I wasn’t actually being that loud…—but that’s when I suddenly heard more feedback beyond the wall. It’d been some time since I’d heard the door click shut. My personal distractions got in the way of keeping track of time. 

There was an urgent fumbling. A repetitive clinking. The sound resembled a bit of metal hitting other metal. But it was light. Small. Following that, I heard a rough yank and a soft plop as whatever the item was had dropped heavily onto the carpeted floor. An unmistakable hum of a zipper quickly came subsequent to the discarding of the first mystery item—but it was no longer a mystery to me as my sex-clouded mind pieced together what I was hearing. The hands nestled between my thighs slowed at the realization.

Well, Harry’s just changing into his pajamas for the night, right?

My audible x-rated activities bouncing off the walls for several minutes whilst my roommate innocently removed his pants next door…maybe I was overthinking this…I remembered calling out our "goodnight"'s to each other around 10 minutes before I slipped out of my panties and began to shamelessly pleasure myself. He was still in his business-y work clothes when I left him in the living room…and I knew I just heard his bedroom door click shut in the middle of my alone time. And at that point, Harry was right there. He was just trying to unwind, yet happened to be in the room adjacent to mine. It was probably too awkward for him to ask for me to quiet down. 

Poor guy…ugh. I was disgusted with myself. I felt I needed to end my “session” right there, and

I was mentally preparing a nice apology text to send him. There was no way in hell I'd bring this up in person to Harry the following day. Surely I’d be in tears before I could even form the right words. I didn’t even want to imagine the scenario of Harry, himself, mentioning it to my face. Every possible, horrible consequence of my selfishly lewd deeds played out in my mind. There I was, lying there with my knees bent up and spread wide open—my fingers frozen against where I'm most sensitive. The silence made the throbbing in my clit feel even more desperate. 

And then Harry flicked his white-noise machine on.

Oh, God…This was so embarrassing.

I wanted to sink into a black hole and never be seen, nor heard, ever again. The severity of the situation felt devastating to me. Was I truly so grotesque that the beautiful man I lived with had to tune me out with the highest setting of his old, rattly sleep machine?!

Hell, I was more than embarrassed, I was fucking humiliated. For real, this time. And it was all my fault.

I just wanted to disappear.

But just as I was readying myself to book a flight back home to move back in with my parents to spare myself from ever having to look Harry in the eye again…

I heard it. 

I heard him.

“…Mmmhh…”

Beyond the hum of the wimpy white noise, there was a raspy moan on the other side of the wall. I thought I was just imagining it, or that maybe it was Harry quietly retching in disgust, but then it happened again. 

No, yeah. It was definitely a moan.

I held my breath as I focused upon the sound of an abrupt curse followed by the distinctive sound of spitting. 

“...Ahhh, fuck—” 

*ptuh* 

The grunting and other lewd noises continued. I could only imagine Harry’s tightened fist, wet from his own drool, working diligently at his neglected cock.

“...Mm…h-hm…ugghhh…”

It seemed like Harry's white-noise machine had some impressive competition. My lips curved into a smirk and my embarrassment exponentially subsided.

His growls vibrated right through the layers of paint and drywall—sliding their way under my shirt, swirling around my perked nipples before bolting straight down to my fingertips, coaxing them to push deeper into my heat. Squeezing my thighs together and arching my back, I curled those digits and gasped out audibly. Feminine arousal leaked from my center and down the crease where my ass met my thighs. Everything was so slippery. I’d made a mess of myself within seconds. Not to mention, the pornographic squelch of my fingers echoed shamelessly beyond the slick walls of my cunt.

If Harry’s spit-covered palm was loud enough to hear over the white noise, then I knew the splashy reservoir between my legs was audible too.

Another series of grunts and huffs sounded beyond the wall behind me and the white noise machine was switched off. I retracted my fingers and slid them up and down my slit, teasing myself and picturing Harry rubbing the head of his dick along my entrance. My brow pinched hedonistic agony. Oh, God, did I want him inside me…I needed something…anything…

With my less-saturated hand, I reached over to open my bedside drawer and lifted the lower compartment to retrieve the silk satchel that encased my dildo. My sticky-slick fingers fumbled impatiently with the ties until the toy comically launched out of the bag and bounced itself smack down onto the inside of my splayed thigh. I could just picture Harry laughing at my lack of grace even though he was busy with his own deeds next door. The thought of Harry teasing me about the dildo made me blush a bit, and I smiled to myself, imagining his hand reaching out to brush my hair out of my face, his pupils dilating as he’d sit on his knees next to the bed and lean over me until his lips grazed my ear…

Be a good girl and show me what filthy things you do with this, Bunny…Show me where it goes…Show me how you fuck yourself…

I hadn’t realized I’d done it again. I’d gotten lost in that depraved little world of mine, and I whimpered aloud in response to the Imaginary Harry who was speaking in my fantasy, “Y-you want me to fuck my pussy for you, Daddy?” Maybe it was the Imaginary Harry again, but I could’ve sworn that I heard a silky British voice nearby react, “Goddd…dammit, Bun’…Ugh, fuuuck, yes. Fuck that sweet little pussy f’me, baby, holy shit…”

Laying back down, I brought the silicone cock up to my lips and sucked it into my mouth. I slowly bobbed my head on it and soaked it with my saliva after deepthroating it several times. The sloppy blowjob I gave to my dildo seemed to have been loud enough to be heard by Harry next door, as he voiced out, “Oh my god, Y/N…I wanna fuck that pretty mouth.”

I pulled it away from my tongue, a string of drool dripping from the tip, and rubbed the head of the toy against my sensitive clit whilst I responded, bringing me right back to where I needed to be. 

“Mmhh, but you can’t put a baby in me that way, Daddy.”

My own eyes widened and I gasped. I couldn’t believe I’d actually fucking said that.

“Shit! Ughh…Ahh…Ughhhh…Fuck you, Bunny…Almost made me…c-come…Christ—Ohhh, fuck me…”

With my free hand, I sucked on my index finger and let my eyes flutter closed as I pulled it out from my lips, trailing it down my neck, all the way to my breasts. Groping myself as best as I could with the rest of my hand, I used my forefinger to tease my nipple whilst the dildo swirled and swiped around my slickened slit. My breathing picked up quickly. The dildo had eventually disappeared inside my clenching hole. The only audible sounds I remember hearing were those of my own—my high-pitched gasps, the pornographic swishing and squelching of the dildo fucking my drenched cunt, the wet flicking noises of my fingers moving rapidly against my clit…I don’t even remember how loud Harry was at that point, I was too focused on my fantasy—my fantasy with him—to notice. I was so focused, in fact, that I had once again lost all sense of self-control and consciousness, succumbing to whatever had come naturally to me at the time and practically singing out my song of ecstasy for the whole goddamn neighborhood.

“Ohmygodohmygodohmygod…Harry, please. I need your cum…Oh, god, please come inside me. Fuck all your cum d-dee–oh g…–ah! Yes! Yes! Don’t stop!”

As I begged for my climax, Harry seemed to have been on the edge of his orgasm as well.

“Jesus Christ, you’re gonna kill me, Y/N…You want me to fill you up? Be my little breeding bunny? God…You dirty girl…Fuuuck…oh fuck, I’m gonna come…”

“Yes! Yes, Daddy! I can take it! Please! Yes, yes, yes, yes! Aaahhh!”

I unraveled with a squeak followed by a series of breathless sobs, my hands, wrists, and arms working frantically and my eyes rolled back whilst the kaleidoscope of pleasure poured through my body. Immediately after my explosion, I collapsed like a ragdoll with the dildo slowly pushing out of me, and my fingers slipping around on my clit to prolong my high. As my breathing recovered, I listened to the tail-end of the orgasm taking place from Harry’s side of the wall.

“Holy shit…Fucking take all of it f’me, babe—ohhhh, yeah…uhh-uuggh…mmhh…hm…Damnit…’So much…I wish all this was inside you, Bunny…fucking hell…”

I’d slept like a rock once I finally passed out. I wasn’t even worried about what would come the next morning. Nah, I had the upper hand on this one for once. As a bratty submissive, I’d gotten used to being teased and controlled. What an interesting feeling to exist on the other side. God, it felt fucking fantastic. Unfortunately for Harry, he wasn’t as confident…or at least that was what I’d been able to interpret in the days following. Nights after the first one, I’d carry on fucking my cunt until I was physically too exhausted to move my pretty little hands anymore. I swear I’d heard Harry finish at least thrice in one night once. (Impressive, Styles.) As for myself…well, I usually lost count.

That first morning, I awoke with sore arms, a rogue dildo laying on the floor, my limbs tangled inside my sheets, yet a ridiculous smile was perma-glued onto my sleepy, orgasm-spent face. I tried my best to tone it down, as I didn’t want to prance around the house like I’d just risen from a deep sleep induced by a gazillion-and-one pulsating firecrackers of pleasure. Too obvious, you know? Had to act nonchalant. Unbothered. 

Who was I kidding—I was the most chalant person I knew. Harry would see right through that charade. But there honestly wasn’t much need for pretending on my part since Harry had actively avoided any and all eye contact with me anyway. I’d never seen the man be so meek. It was truly a sight. 

Things would eventually loosen up as the days progressed, especially if it was a work day which meant Harry had an excuse to be miles away from me for several hours. It was somewhat of a bummer because I thoroughly enjoyed this sampling of power I newly held over the man. I reveled in the way our typical roles would reverse the mornings after our little bedtime serenades. They weren’t a nightly occurrence, as I preferred to keep him on his toes; however, they’d happen often enough that I tended to daydream in the middle of my work meetings. I’d even begun to retreat to my bedroom an hour or so earlier in the evenings, giving Harry some lame excuse like tiredness or a headache. In reality, it was me signaling that I needed to get myself off sooner rather than later. Whenever I’d announce my departure, I could feel how much he’d been aching for it all day, too. Harry eventually utilized the same approach to speed up the fulfillment of his own needs. I’d changed up my tempo, my method of pleasure, the filth of my words, even my own positions whilst touching myself. It seemed like it had become almost like a routine for him to wait for me to fall into bed late in the evening. (Yet another one for me to be distracted by…) 

Nothing’s changed. I still imagine that he patiently lays atop his soft duvet with an anxious throb booming against his eardrums…That minutes will go by with him training his ear to follow each soft pad of my feet. And then I shut my door. I waste no time before diving my pretty fingers inside the waistband of my underwear and playing with my sensitive little petal—allowing all the filth to freely escape my lips. And every single time we do this, I’m in my room picturing him naked from the waist down, one hand eagerly pumping his dripping length whilst the other massages his balls and perineum. To this day, the waves of simultaneous pleasure are still trapped only by the few measly layers of drywall that stand in between us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know, I know…it’s been a while…but I’m back:-) and this isn’t the end of Harry’s Home—the final part is basically finished, but I wanted to post this chunk of it since I’d been kind of neglecting my account for months now. I hope y’all like it! Xoxo ~ Régan 💋

Tags: @daphnesutton @victoria-styles @pishhhh20989 @heyyyloverr @youdontcaredoyou @jerseygirlinca

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hi again Nalyra!

I’ve found myself stuck on something in 2x06 that I desperately need your help explaining.

I don’t know if it is the been-up-since-3am brain (yes), but I just can’t parse the implication surrounding the exchange Louis and Armand have regarding Louis allegedly requesting to have his memory erased. (It doesn’t seem to be confusing anyone else though, so I am making this SOS call, haha!)

This is the exchange:

Louis: I asked you to erase it? Armand: Yes. After you came out of a shower in our home in Sausalito. Three days after we abandoned him.

^ Is this exchange meant to explain that three days after they 'left' Daniel, Louis allegedly asked Armand to erase his own memory (re: the Claudia realisation/walking into the sun event)?

Because if so, what does that mean for the timeline? It happened only three days after dumping Daniel in the drug den = is that meant to imply that Armand was able to speed up Louis’s convalescence through the strength of his ancient blood? Otherwise erasing Louis’s memory is sort of moot if his body is still in a bad state, telegraphing exactly what happened to it, right? So Louis had to be all healed before his memory was erased. And yet it was only three days after they left Daniel?

What am I failing to grasp here with this exchange? Armand’s ancient blood is either power af or the ambiguous ‘three days after we abandoned him’ refers to a much later date than the drug den drop-off?

Seriously, send help. I’m all tangled up in probably unnecessary confusion, haha!

Heyyy!!!

Ahahaha, no it's not just your brain, I also stumbled over this.

Because... with Jacob's statement in the episode insider, and the comment re the martini... (also vermouth!!!!) - there is quite the clear picture emerging.

Namely that DM did happen in the past.

I think that comment was maybe the truth - but it happened a few years after that eventful night. I'm not sure what would have needed to happen for Louis to request that, but I do think there is a possibility for that to happen.

In any case I found the wording... let's say vague enough to ring the alarm bells for me as well. Because why not say "3 days after the interview" or similar. No, it's "three days after we abandoned him."

"We... abandoned him." A shared decision? What made Armand use the word "abandon"? There are implications to that word. Because you just "leave" people you just met and don't feel much for. They would have "left" Daniel after erasing his memories. But no, they "abandoned" him. There is one definition of "abandoned", which goes: "No longer maintained by its former owners, residents, or caretakers; forsaken, deserted."

And so yes, I think that word is definitely a clue. As well as that vague... time frame. He is trying not to lie, would be my guess. But there are ways to be vague. And as Assad has said it so plainly, Armand is already trying to spin another web, to keep Louis and Daniel away from the truth.

And that truth is that DM happened, but Akasha did not rise. And something else happened that made Armand (and Louis) decide to "abandon" Daniel. Or... they were forced to.

And if Louis really asked for it (we'll see)... then he could not stand to know about it.

And it will be extremely interesting to see what that was.

Or if Armand is just... throwing a smoke bomb there.

[r0semultiverse]

Mr. 6 made you do a good show to be released?? 👀 um....

This is already giving serious eye vibes.

A whole show dedicated to public humiliation?

The Mr. Bonzo suit started moving??? 👀 Serious stranger vibes. 🤡

"It actually became a sort of ritual"

I've seen people being like "don't cross tag" but buddy... the writing cross tags itself here I mean c'mon! 😂 Something something ritual of the stranger- okay, I'll keep listening!

Hey, what's with the music?? Hey, who is Terrance Menki???👀

"The police said there were eleven bodies in total and his wardrobe was full of all sorts of homemade costumes." BRO IS ACTUALLY MAGNUSPOD WILLIAM AFTON-

"It certainly had a profound effect on the Mr. Bonzo brand." Oh I'm sure it did, holy fucking shit. 👀

Oh, me using this image is rather ironic now.

"In a lot of ways I’m more his prisoner now than I ever was on my show." WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? 👀

"The witness statements from three murders over the last five years that claim a person in a Mr. Bonzo costume was at the scene? Do you think there could be a copycat?" Has the fear of clowns manifested as an actual clown-guything?

"Don’t contact us again." "Us?" "Why am I still trapped dealing with all this this- Why won’t he let me go?! Why-" So Mr. Bonzo is absolutely a clown cryptid of sorts with some sort of hold over Nigel.

Oh no, Gwen's about to fuck around & find out, isn't she? 👀

Hey, is Colin still himself & is he supposed to be back?

Hmm, okay, I guess that's him (hopefully).

"Maybe don’t tell them I’ve been on their terminals. They’ll only get the wrong idea." "If Lena asks, I wasn’t here." Seems like everyone's got their own little secret investigations going on, fun! This can only go well! 🙃

One of the episodes absolutely no one shows up to work except Lena is there & is like "where the fuck did everyone go?"

"Time to get some new hires again I guess."

Let's go!! Ruin exploration gang!!

"Like, it’s Saturday night and I’m choosing to hang out in a hole with you. A wet hole. And not the good kind either."

Alice with the absolute best quotes. lmao

That sounds like something with giant wings like a bat or some sort of cloth flapping in the wind. Let's hope it's the latter!

Oh a rusty old filing cabinet! Wait tetanus- 😭

"That carved floor in the big atrium – I don’t know what’s going on with that." Ah so we're just gonna breeze past that then. 😶

These are probably the remnants of old avatar creation test areas like mentioned in the Gerry & Gertrude episode. I'm just assuming here.

A key? Big find! Let's go!

AS I WAS SAYING-

Gwen, it was nice knowing you. 🫡

"Now get out of his house."

Archivist! 👁👄👁

"symbols of ancient otherworldly power"

Wait could this be a timeline where this universe's Jane Prentiss actually did manage to invade the building & succeed? I'm thinking out loud.

21:10 that sounds like critters, insects specifically 👀

"I have memories of weird stuff I saw here, but no context. I want to know what was happening, why they chose us… why they didn’t choose me. Maybe find the bit where everything started to go wrong." I am so captivated & intrigued please recount said memories to us- I mean Alice so we can learn more. Please. 👀

EXCUSE ME, WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT?!? WHO IS "[ERROR]?"

WHY DO THEY SOUND DISTORTED AS FUCK?? ARE THEY FROM THE PRIME TIMELINE OR IS THIS A NEW THING?

ARE WE GAZING OUR EYES UPON A WRETCHED THING FROM THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES?!

edit:

Is Lucia Wright an avatar of The Flesh now (in this universe or from the original timeline somehow)? Because it sure fucking sounds like it! 👀 Well, at least that key was put to good use! 😂

Also, supposedly Mr. Bonzo is a reference to Mr. Blobby.

Gwen, I'd be quaking in my boots too. That thing is terrifying!

Late observation but this universe & story seems to focus a lot on the cryptids & I like the direction it's going in! Loving this plot of cryptid hunters, childhood avatar experiments, a strange institute where our main character has past trauma, & just all of it is so good! 💜

Amazing episode, 10/10, I was at the edge of my seat the entire time! 💜 That Bonzo scene & the sound design were absolutely horrifying, thank you! The ending too! 🔥

[your-unfriendlyghost]

Hiiii i just saw your Outsiders/Christine art and HOLY SHIT. When i say my jaw was on the floor it was on the floor. I’m a huge Stephen King fan (I’ve only read his books bc to me his books are good enough. I’m not a huge horror movie watcher girlie but i can do thriller/horror books. I have like 8 of his books, including Christine, on my bookshelf) and once again: HOLY SHIT. I can lowkey see the Outsiders trio as the Christine trio. Now whenever i go to reread the book, i can’t view it the same anymore haha. Another Outsiders/Stepehen King art idea for Halloween: 11/22/63. It’s one of my absolute favorite Stephen King novels. And if you haven’t read it, highly recommend it. It’s so intense and entertaining and i do get lost in that book. Anyways, HOLY SHIT. But i was also wondering if you have any tips for beginner digital artists? Like on layers, line art especially, shading etc.? I really want to get into more digital art but my tradional sketches lowkey look better than my digital ones haha. Whenever i see your stevepop or Outsiders art it just gives me a boost of inspiration. And i love them your honor.

Woah, thanks!! I’ll have to check it out- so far I’ve only read Christine and The Body (because my dad’s obsessed w/ Stand By Me), but I really dug both so I’m looking forward to it!

And as for digital art tips, I guess I’d say to keep things loose! I like to use a modified version of the Shale Brush on procreate for my sketches and lineart because it resembles a pencil, and the rough messiness makes it a whole lot easier for me to just relax and draw the way I do on paper. I don’t shy away from messiness especially in digital art- it makes things flow better in a medium that can get really stiff sometimes.

I like to do my sketches in bright colors, and I tend to assign every subject a certain color so I can tell them apart easily (idk how helpful it is, but it works for me!) Then I lower the opacity and draw on a layer on top like this:

Then I turn off the sketch layer and either fill everything in with base colors, or color it in grayscale w/ this Copic marker brush and varying levels of opacity for my comics.

As for shading, I do a combination of cell shading and painterly shading (picture for the uninitiated lol). Both have their merits, and shadows in real life usually include a bit of both.

For more simple stuff, I take a shade of either purple or sometimes magenta and cell shade everything with this pencil brush on a multiply layer, usually set to 30-ish% opacity depending on the drawing. Then I’ll blend it out a bit to soften some edges, which is what makes it look painterly. Also if you don’t know, “clipping mask” layers are really helpful for shading! You just put the shading layer over the colors and it stops you from going outside of the colors, it can be super helpful. This method is the one I usually use, and the one I’ve been using since I first started about five years ago now.

For the Christine poster specifically though I mostly just kept everything to one layer and color dropped from the reference, altering the colors as I saw fit- and just sort of guessed for Evie because she’s way tanner than Leigh and needed her own colors. The only times I used different layers were for each individual character so that they didn’t mess each other up, and also for the sketches, which I put on top of the colors but lightened the opacity on. Idk that I’d recommend this for a beginner tho, it’s taken me years to get comfortable working like this!

Sketch is set to a multiply layer here too. You can’t see it super well here tbh, because of how dark everything is, but oh well. Here’s a study I did last year with the same method tho! (Also she’s got some similarities to Evie huh?? I guess I have a type lol oops)

Anyhow, that’s probably enough for now lol- but lmk if there’s anything else you wanna know! And obviously this is just how I do things, there’s no hard and fast rules for any of this- I’m making it up as I go along, and you should too!!

[sylvienerevarine]

Sophrine Aulette's Skyrim Encyclopedia (Part 1)

Ok, an explanation: my brother bought me Philomena Cunk's hilarious reference book for Christmas, and it inspired me to write this goofy semi-fic. It's now Sylvieverse canon that Soph writes a humorous guide to Skyrim and it's a bestseller for years.

--

Atmora

Atmora is sometimes called the “old country,” largely because everyone from there had beards, which made them look quite a bit older. It’s also called that because the original Nords came from there thousands of years ago in search of better weather. Why they stopped at Skyrim is anyone’s guess. One of the most famous people from Atmora was Ysgramor, who was fond of killing elves and living in an upturned boat.

No one’s heard anything from the Atmorans in a while, which means they all either froze to death or their postal service is terrible.

Automatons

Dwemer Automatons are creatures made of metal that run on magic and steam. You can find them lurking around old Dwarven ruins waiting for treasure hunters to show up, and then slicing them to ribbons. This is the only game they seem to know.

There are four main types of automatons: spiders, spheres, ballistas, and centurions. Actually they’re all called centurions, but that’s confusing, so here we are. Spiders are the ones that look like spiders and are sort of cute. Spheres are the ones that look almost human on top, but roll around on a big metal ball, in which they possibly store lightning. Ballistas resemble an angry fish with legs and are horrible. Centurions look like metal giants and use a huge amount of energy, which is why they sleep in big magic arches that don’t look very comfortable.

Dwemer automatons don’t seem to work outside their ruins, which is a relief, because can you imagine running into one at the market? On the other hand, it would be very funny to have a mechanical butler.

Cheese

Cheese is basically milk, but solid. It’s also the best food to ever be invented, and features in all the best dishes: cheesecakes, cheese souffles, cheese straws, cheese omelets, and fondue. My aunt Sacha, who lives in the Shivering Isles, once taught me how to make a kind of cheese that turns all colors inside-out, but I don’t usually attempt that one.

Most cheese in Skyrim comes from goats or cows. Giants have been known to make mammoth cheese, but they’re not very good about sharing it. I swiped some once and it was remarkably chewy, but very good.

Dragonborn

A Dragonborn is a person who, through no fault of their own, was born with the wrong type of soul. Generally speaking, humans have human souls, elves have elf souls, Nords have alcohol, and so on. A Dragonborn, on the other hand, has a normal person-type body with a dragon’s soul stuffed inside.

The main job of a Dragonborn is to slay evil dragons and boss around the less evil ones. For a long time, though, there were very few dragons around, so Dragonborns had to occupy their time by becoming emperors. This lasted right up until the time Martin Septim exploded.

I am currently the only living Dragonborn, which is a very fun position to be in. There was another one hiding out in Oblivion named Miraak, but he tragically perished for reasons that were only partially my fault.

Things Dragonborns Can Do:

Absorb dragon souls

Use aforementioned souls to quickly learn Words of Power

Scream at things

Read dragon language without taking lessons

Get free garlic bread at the Frostfruit Inn in Rorikstead

Kyne

Kyne is the Nordic goddess of wind, sky, the outdoors, and probably camping. You might know her as Kynareth, Khenarthi, Tava, or Kenny (though I’ve only met one person who called her that, and he was very drunk). 

In Nord tradition, Kyne was married to Shor (aka Lorkhan) and rain is the result of her crying because her husband tragically died from having his heart stuck under a volcano. It follows that the best way to get rain for your crops is to shout things like: “Missus Kyne, remember how much you loved your husband? Wasn’t it tragic how badly he was murdered?” That usually does the trick.

Kyne is also supposedly the one who taught the Dragon Voice to humans, to which I would like to respond “thank you” and also “why.”

Mead

Mead is the primary beverage, export, and religion in Skyrim. It’s made out of honey, and is therefore sweet enough that you don’t realize for a while just how strong it is, and then you’re in a bar fight with a racist old man in Windhelm. Not that that’s ever happened to me.

My husband is something of an expert on mead, and it’s his most cherished belief that happy bees make the drink taste better. I’m not quite sure how you can tell a bee’s emotional state, but I’m sure there’s a knack to it.

[hyakinthou-naos]

Hi, I’ve been a Hellenic polytheist for around a decade now, and recently have found myself in somewhat of a crisis of faith. It’s not that I no longer believe in the Theoi, just that I’ve been… uninspired lately? I guess that’s as good a description as I can articulate right now.

In prior seasons of life, my faith wove seamlessly into the fabric of my being. It felt effortless and connected to everything I was and did. These days it feels awkward and clunky, an afterthought to the rest of life. I think about my faith in prior years and feel so incredibly disheartened by the loss of psyche.

A recent discussion of the matter with my therapist culminated in the idea to revisit this devotional blog I had made (and immediately abandoned) last summer, in hopes of finding both community and inspiration. Your online temple was one of the first pages I found that brought back that spark of excitement in faith. I know I am extremely new here, but I feel compelled to ask you:

Do you have any ideas for cleansing such pervasive miasma, or any advice on becoming reconnected to faith?

Either way, I thank you for your time. My best,

Leda Euphrosyne

Dear Leda,

Thank you for your question. I want to start by saying that you are not alone in what you are experiencing - doubting or being unsure of the Theoi's reality is a very common occurrence. I even touched on my own experience in this area in This Ask.

Now, regarding Miasma.

The term Miasma (ΜΊΑΣΜΑ) - as it was used in Hellenic Greece - refers to severe spiritual pollution and/or spiritual impurity. Acts that create Miasma include homicide, close contact with dead animals or people (this sometimes includes funerary practices), sexual crimes, and desecrating sacred sites.

Unless you have committed some kind of crime, I do not think you need to be cleansed of Miasma.

What you may be thinking of is Agnēia (ἈΓΝΕΊΑ) which is more comparable to ritual impurity.

Either way, my advice for you would be this:

1. Set aside an evening to reconnect with The Theoi/The Gods. Make sure that you will have at least a couple of hours where you will not be interrupted.

2. If you currently have an altar, prayer space, or shrine - clean that space both physically and spiritually. Wipe down surfaces, dust off objects, and remove any old offerings. To spiritually cleanse the space you can say a prayer, use incense, or (my personal favorite) use sound to cleanse the space. You can use a bell, clap your hands, or even bang pots together if you'd like.

3. Cleanse your physical body. Whether this is just washing your hands, or a full on spiritual bath with candles and herbs - wash away any dust or dirt you may have on your person.

4. Cleanse your body spiritually. Before approaching The Theoi, take a moment to ground and calm yourself in whatever way works for you. Some people like to listen to music, some like to use incense, and some like to chant. Whatever works best for you is totally fine. Take time to get into the right headspace before moving forward.

5. Speak to your Gods. Call upon them and invite them into your home and your space. Tell them what you have told me, let them know how you are feeling and what you are going through. 5.5 Before or after your conversation, provide an offering of some kind. It doesn't need to be anything extravagant - a glass of water is just as wonderful an offering as anything else. (If you need to ask anything of your Gods - I would provide your offering first as a show of good faith and to help with building Kharis).

Allow yourself to be honest - internally and with the Theoi. If you feel like the Theoi are with you - then they are; if you feel like the Theoi are make believe - then give yourself permission to play pretend.

I hope this has been at least somewhat helpful - if you'd like any more advice or guidance our askbox and DMs are always open.

Eirene, peace and farewell.

- Aön

[georgiapeach30513]

Mrs pasta here checking in on you peach 🍑

Glad to see you doing well and as always, keeping positive and away from the drama.

I also see operation manufacturing an internet bf has some people in a tiff. 😂

I myself don’t mind the carbon copy, I think he’s cute and somewhat charming, but what I don’t love is seeing the sudden bandwagon jump as always.

I have always side eyed fair weathered fans. Jumping to whoever is “hot” at the moment and then piling on someone else when they are “down.” I have no issues with carbon copy having his own fans - I just resent a comparison being used to put one down over the other. There’s no need for that. Especially when some are doing it on purpose to get a rise out of others.

I also have a feeling some people will be crawling back in the near future. I’ve always thought Ramen wasn’t meant to go the commercial route of big blockbuster movies and beefcake persona. I think his innate nature (at least publicly) has shown he tends to thrive when he follows his guns and picks a risky or unique project with a director that has a specific vision. I think this is where he will continue to find inspiration and return on investment.

If money isn’t an issue for him anymore, I think these smaller but more original/different projects may carve him a future in character acting that I think he still has a chance to succeed in.

He doesn’t need to be a top shelf A lister or even awards darling to do it. He is talented and he will find an audience somehow, I am sure of this.

Remember - art is subjective. And what makes a good movie isn’t necessarily how many awards it gets or how big the box office numbers are. If you are someone’s favorite actor in a movie they watch religiously and they can quote every line, or you are an actor whose opened a person up to a new genre or franchise simply because they enjoyed you on screen - then in my books, you’ve succeeded. I think Ramen has done that for many people in this world and I don’t think he needs to prove anything to anyone. I myself have seen multiple men wearing cap America tshirts this month alone (it’s 2024!) - white, Asian, Black, Latinx, older, middle aged, teenaged, child. Both Ramen and his friend Buldak (three guesses who I’m referring to 😉 AM) have created a legacy that won’t be going away anytime soon. Ten years ago, I used to mainly see batman and superman t shirts. I don't think all these new fans are just people who like comic books.

Be well, peach. Until next time!

Mrs. Pasta!! I welcome you back, it’s been awhile, but glad to see you around these neck of the woods again.

I actually think Chris’ career was heading out of the internet boyfriend for a while, and now here we are. I’ve tried to remain out of this discourse because I never want to yuck on someone else’s yum, but of course people want to push him and his projects on me, or want to talk about him, and eventually I do, and they don’t like it. When I’ve stated multiple times that the man does absolutely nothing for me in looks and I don’t enjoy his movies, and that’s being generous given his list of projects. Everyone has their time to come up, but his has been quick, since working on Top Gun. Almost like he has someone who wanted to invest in his career. Good for him. Now go away and create a new identity 😂

As you talk about the fair weathered fans, it just proves it was more about the looks and persona than about the talent. Which is fine, but we don’t have to kick him when he’s down to lift another up. I have been a fan of his since 2001. I became a fan for his looks, yes, and stayed because I enjoyed him. I enjoyed his body of work, meaning projects. I enjoyed his public persona, etc. You don’t stay a fan for over 20 years on looks alone. Although his looks to me are a bonus.

Chris’ career is fine, despite what some people believe. It is not of the height as it was when he was in Marvel, but neither is RDJ’s, Scarlett’s, or anyone’s. Marvel is a wheelhouse, and is in a league all of its own, so it’s silly to compare the two. However, Chris has had movies since Not Another Teen movie where he was the lead, and had a character name. It was a slow, but steady climb to his peak in 2018/2019. But he has officially announced three projects for this year alone. People don’t even know what he could be planning for 2025. He is an attractive white man that has a reputation for an excellent work ethic. He’ll be okay.

And you’re right. I would wager most actors aren’t A-List anymore. I seriously get tired of this conversation because it goes around in circles. But this age of celebrities are not the ones from the past. And that’s okay. Things change. As long as he is happy with his career and the way it’s going, and he’s being fulfilled it shouldn’t matter if he’s in huge box office successes.

Buldak! I love this!! I think the spicy ramen suits Mackie 😉 And you’re right. Superman was the superhero of the past. Now, it’s Captain America. Nobody can ever take Steve Rogers from Chris, or the fact that he was the face of Marvel for years. But I don’t even consider Steve to be one of my favorite characters. However, he was perfect for it, and nobody could have done it better.

As always, Mrs. Pasta, thanks for dropping in!

[pink-pages]

Iron Widow

Spoiler alert

I picked up this book praying to god that it would be good because I spend half my life lurking around Xiran Jay Zhao’s TikTok and I didn’t want to let them down by leaving a bad review. I didn’t have to worry. Iron Widow was fucking fantabulous. It was so angry and rightfully so because that world is horrible. The most horrible thing about Huaxia is that different aspects of it are a reality for different women all over the globe. Women and even young girls are still being essentially sold as brides in some parts of the world. In other parts of the world girls are being denied an education. Even in the USA, where I live, which is supposed to be more progressive about women’s rights, women have lost the right to decide what to do with their own bodies in some states and there’s even a movement to take away women’s rights to vote. I still think that, at least from my (admittedly privileged) perspective things can still be solved nonviolently and we’re not quite at the “brutally taking over the country” level yet.

I think the most striking bit of Iron Widow for me was when Zetian realized that the folks from central command and all the soldiers were more scared of her, a woman who had only done what men had been doing for years, than a literal family annihilator. In the USA, all this push back against women’s rights to abortion and rights to vote came after a big feminist movement (#Metoo). All the men in power try to keep women downtrodden because they’re scared of women with power. Just something to think about.

Aside from the obvious feminist aspect of the book, one of the first things that I noticed about Iron Widow was the disability representation. The main character, Wu Zetian, has to use a cane to walk. I feel like physical disability representation, particularly ones that get in the way of every day mobility, are not present in YA literature much unless the book is specifically about the main character overcoming their disability. I was really happy for this type of representation. Finally a disabled character that wasn’t defined by their disability.

Another aspect of Iron Widow that I loved was the historical aspect. For one, all the place names mentioned (Sui-Tang border, Zhou province, and Ming province) were named after historical dynasties of China. I should know, my AP World History teacher made my whole class memorize the dynasties song. It’s been 5 years and it still haunts me in my sleep. Also, Wu Zetian was very clearly based off of the Empress Wu Zetian of the Tang dynasty. The Qin Zheng emperor dude was clearly based off of Shi Huangdi, China’s “first emperor.” Even his tomb in the volcano was like Shi Huangi’s tomb with the terracotta warriors. Rongdi was a word used to refer to certain tribes of people not of Han Chinese descent and the Xianbei tribe was a very important one. I’m sure there are more historical Easter eggs, I just didn’t notice them.

Iron Widow is the first YA book I’ve read that features a polyamorous relationship and I personally love it. I think the dynamics between Yizhi, Shimin, and Zetian are perfect. An added bonus is that I didn’t have to read about some dumb fighting over the girl part or “oh no, who should I choose?” That gets boring fast. Part of me kind of wished that Zetian would have a female love interest so we could read about a lesbian couple overthrowing the patriarchy but alas, we can’t get everything.

I do think that the ending was a bit too easy, though. It feels like it should be harder to take over the country than flying in on a robo-dragon thing, destroying some stuff, and declaring yourself the Iron Empress. I don’t know how I would have written it, though, cause I guess it might be pretty jarring to see this super powerful robo-dragon with super powerful pilots, one of whom hasn’t been seen in over two centuries. It probably would have been pretty hard (and stupid) to try and fight back, still, I’d like to have seen someone try (and more than just by holding hostages).

Characters

Wu Zetian: Zetian did things that I’ve been waiting for YA book characters to do for ages. Her just daring the soldiers to shoot her when they were trying to figure out what to do with her after surviving Li Shimin. Taking advantage of her untouchable position in different situations. That was some bad bitch behavior. I approve. I also like how you can see her character evolving as she realizes the complexities of her world. Like, somehow she becomes more empathetic and more ruthless at the same time. I think it’s because the more she learns about her world and the people around her, the more attachment she develops for some characters (like Shimin) and the more hate she develops for other characters (An Lushan). You also see her will to live increase as she goes from thinking of herself as just another cog in the machine to realizing that she can make a big change.

Li Shimin: I’m probably going to have hordes of angry fans coming at me for this comment, but Shimin was kind of disappointing to me. I think it’s because I was expecting dark humor and wry comments but instead I just got dark and serious. I mean, it makes sense when you consider his backstory, but still I wish we could’ve gotten some humor out of him. Some indication that he feels things other than anger, guilt, or sadness. Of course, that doesn’t mean I didn’t get invested in his fate. No, I’m still desperate to find out if Zetian manages to get him back. I’ll have to wait until December to find out though.

Gao Yizhi: It should come as no surprise to anyone who’s read my past book reviews that Yizhi is my favorite character. I mean, he basically reads as a blueprint for “Pink’s Fictional Crushes,” the rich pretty boy sweetheart with a hidden ruthless side and most importantly that long k-drama/c-drama hair. I’ve gotta say, I was not expecting him to be the comic relief, but he kind of was. I mean, some of his lines were just golden “you can’t shoot me; I’m rich!!” The only thing that kind of disappoints me about Yizhi is that he doesn’t seem like a strong character. I mean, he clearly is because it definitely takes a strong character to pew pew laser beam their dad, but for most of the story, he was kind of just Zetian’s fanboy. I’m really hoping in the next book we see more of his personality separate from Zetian.

[depressedhouseplant]

🔞 Cops & Robbers (Bbangju) 🔞

Synopsis: Kim Younghoon and Lee Juyeon have been locked in a battle of cops and robbers for almost five years. Then the line between good guy and bad guy starts to blur

WC: 3100

Tags: Hate sex, Top Juyeon, Bottom Younghoon, Unprotected Sex, References to violence

A/N: This is the first chapter of a WIP. Nobody wants TBZ smut though so I have no idea why I’m sharing this. Guess I’m a glutton for punishment 🤷🏼‍♀️

Younghoon checked the address on his phone for the third time and looked back up at the club entrance. The line snaked almost completely around the building. He took a deep breath and approached the front door.

“Can I help you?” the bouncer asked.

“I was invited by the owner,” Younghoon showed him the text with the address. There was an 8 digit code of letters and numbers that Younghoon hadn’t been able to decipher. The bouncer read the message, repeated the code over the headset, and opened the door.

“Wait there,” he nodded toward the bar.

“Thank you,” Younghoon nodded.

“Can I get you anything?” the bartender asked.

“He’s with me,” Younghoon turned to see a skinny dark haired man behind him. Younghoon knew from all the years of surveillance that he was Ji Changmin.

“Of course,” the bartender nodded.

“Follow me,” Changmin said. He led Younghoon past the dance floor, up a flight of stairs, and back to an area separated by a heavy curtain with two bouncers on either side. They pulled it back when they saw Changmin.

“Thank you gentlemen,” Changmin nodded. Sitting on a plush couch was Lee Juyeon, the most notorious gangster in the city and Younghoon’s personal problem for the past five years. He was impeccably dressed sipping champagne. Younghoon was in worn jeans and a faded button down shirt. Public service didn’t allow for many luxuries.

“I was half expecting you to not show up,” he smiled. “Drink?”

“I’m working,” Younghoon crossed his arms.

“Hardly. You’re here on your own time. I know you won’t bill this visit to the residents of this fine city,” Juyeon took a sip.

“Why did you call me here?” Younghoon questioned.

“We haven’t tried to kill each other in at least 6 months. I missed seeing that self righteous face of yours,” Juyeon grinned. “That will be all, Changmin.”

The other man nodded and left. They were alone save the two bouncers outside the curtain.

“Seriously, why am I here?” Younghoon asked.

“Have a seat, have a drink, and maybe I’ll tell you,” Juyeon gestured to the spot next to him.

“Maybe?” Younghoon repeated.

“Maybe,” Juyeon raised his glass. Younghoon chewed the inside of his cheek.

“Fine,”

“Excellent,” the other man grinned. He patted the seat next to him. Younghoon sat and Juyeon poured him a glass of champagne. “There’s another gang making far too many waves for my liking. It’s been low level shit so far. Things like trying to force me out of certain neighborhoods or tipping off the cops when one of my guys is making a pickup or delivery. I doubt they’ve made it on your radar yet. You know how much I hate competition.”

“You hate a lot of things,” Younghoon replied.

“Including you, but you’re the only one who can shut them down before things start to get really ugly,” Juyeon explained.

“Says the one who’s tried to stab me on multiple occasions,” Younghoon took a sip of the champagne. It was good. Of course it was good. Juyeon could afford the best of everything.

“And you haven’t tried to stab me?” Juyeon leveled his gaze at Younghoon. “But I digress. I’m not talking about the two of us using knives as foreplay. I’m talking actual body counts.”

Younghoon choked on his drink. Juyeon gave him a few solid slaps on the back.

“What do you want me to do about it?” Younghoon coughed.

“Get them out of my hair. In return I’ll stay out of yours,” Juyeon told him.

“Are you going to stop dealing drugs and running guns?” Younghoon questioned.

“Of course not. I’ve still got to make a living. Though you know I don’t like guns. It’s a necessary evil in this business,” Juyeon refilled his glass.

“I don’t think there’s such a thing as necessary evil,” Younghoon replied.

“Of course you wouldn’t. You like rules too much,” Juyeon leaned over and refilled Younghoon’s glass. He didn’t realize he’d finished it.

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” Younghoon asked.

“If two glasses of champagne gets you drunk then you’re a bigger lightweight than I thought you were,” Juyeon snorted.

“You think I’m a lightweight?” Younghoon questioned.

“I know you’re a lightweight. I follow you just as much as you follow me,” Juyeon shrugged. Younghoon knew that. He’d known that for years.

“And if I agree to this?” Younghoon asked.

“I told you. I’ll make as few waves as possible in my line of work. I have a few names, but I haven’t been able to confirm where they fall in the hierarchy. I do know their leader isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty,” Juyeon replied.

“I’ll think about it,” Younghoon said finally.

“If that’s the best I’m getting right now I’ll take it,” Juyeon took another sip of his drink. “Relax. Enjoy your drink. Come home with me.”

“Excuse me?” Younghoon sputtered.

“I know it’s loud in here, but you heard me,” Juyeon said. Younghoon was stunned. Lee Juyeon had not just asked him to go home with him. “Well?”

“How do I know you’re not gonna slit my throat or something?” Younghoon was suspicious. Juyeon laughed.

“I want to do many things to that pretty throat of yours, but slitting it is not one of them,” he put his glass down and rested his hand on Younghoon’s thigh. “I’d much rather mark it up with my mouth than a knife.”

“What…what else would you do?” Younghoon swallowed hard.

“To your neck or to the rest of you?” Juyeon prompted.

“Both?” Younghoon was starting to feel unbearably hot.

“Let me show you,” Juyeon pulled Younghoon into his lap and joined their lips. Juyeon tasted like champagne and a hint of cigarettes. Juyeon only smoked when he was stressed. He’d learned a lot about the other man’s habits over the past five years. Younghoon held onto Juyeon’s face and kissed him harder. He felt the other man smile against his lips.

“So you do want me, too,” he purred.

“Maybe,” Younghoon breathed.

“Then let me take you somewhere far less public and far more comfortable,” Juyeon suggested.

“Okay,” Younghoon agreed. Two glasses of champagne wasn’t enough to even give him a buzz, but it was clearly enough to agree to Juyeon’s proposition. Juyeon plucked Younghoon off his lap and led him out of the club through a back entrance. There was a car already waiting.

“Were you that confident I’d say yes?” Younghoon asked.

“I figured once you actually showed up then there was a better than 50% chance you’d agree,” Juyeon smiled, opening the door for Younghoon.

“Cocky bastard,” Younghoon muttered.

“I think you’ll like my cock quite a bit. Though my parents were married when I was born,” the other man replied. Younghoon opened his mouth to say something, but didn’t have a witty retort. Juyeon was the razor witted one. He always had been.

Juyeon started kissing him again as the car started. Younghoon’s lips were starting to swell by the time they arrived at Juyeon’s house (mansion). His cock was hard enough to cut diamonds and he couldn’t seem to catch his breath no matter how hard he tried.

“Tell me what you want, darling,” Juyeon instructed when they made it to the bedroom, clothes strewn all over the floor.

“Fuck me,” Younghoon’s dignity was out the window.

“Yes, but how? On your back? From behind? Standing up? My repertoire is vast,” Juyeon told him. Younghoon looked down at him from his place on Juyeon’s lap.

“On my back. I want to see you,” Younghoon decided.

“Aren’t you the romantic,” Juyeon teased.

“At least if you try to kill me it won’t be a surprise,” Younghoon retorted.

“I have no desire to kill you, unless you count fucking the life out of you,” Juyeon laughed.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Younghoon told him.

“Then get on your back and let’s get started,” Juyeon pecked him on the lips before flipping him over. “I’m going to take my time with you.”

“I’ve taken a dick before, please and thank you,” Younghoon glared.

“Not as big as mine you haven’t,” Juyeon replied as he lubed up his fingers. With his dry hand he pulled his underwear off. Younghoon’s jaw dropped. “Told you.”

“Take your time,” Younghoon squeaked.

“Wise choice,” Juyeon smirked. He slowly and methodically opened Younghoon up. Even two of his fingers stretched him. Juyeon would periodically tease his prostate, causing Younghoon’s hips to buck. He was four fingers deep in Younghoon before he declared him sufficiently prepped. Younghoon whined when Juyeon withdrew his fingers.

“Patience, darling,” he smirked as he put the condom on. Younghoon tried to glare at the other man, but it looked more pouty than anything. “So dramatic.”

“I am no-,” Younghoon was cut off by the feeling of Juyeon pushing into him.

“You’re not what?” Juyeon looked down at him.

“I’m not dramatic,” Younghoon whined.

“You’re about to be making plenty of dramatic noises,” Juyeon moved smoothly out of Younghoon, then bottomed out.

“Fuck!” Younghoon grunted.

“That’s what I like to hear,” the other man said then began thrusting into him. Younghoon never felt this full, this stretched before. It burned for a few seconds then his body gave in, accepting Juyeon like he’d been made for him.

“That’s right, darling. Relax and let me make you feel good,” Juyeon praised.

“So good,” Younghoon gasped.

“Perfect,” Juyeon smiled down at him. Younghoon let himself get lost in the feeling of Juyeon fucking him. He pulled the other man down and kissed him like he was the sole source of oxygen in the universe. This man he was supposed to hate because he was against everything Younghoon stood for was currently making him feel things he didn’t think were possible.

“Gonna…come…” he gasped. Juyeon pushed himself back up on his arms and fucked into Younghoon even harder. Younghoon came, painting his torso white.

“My turn,” Juyeon grinned, holding down one of Younghoon’s hips as he chased his high. He came a few moments later, emptying into the condom. He collapsed on top of Younghoon. Juyeon nuzzled against Younghoon’s cheek. Younghoon wrapped his arms around Juyeon’s waist. Then he started to come down from his high.

“That was…” Younghoon suddenly rolled out from under Juyeon and got up.

“That was…” Juyeon propped his head up on his hand.

“A one time thing,” Younghoon didn’t look at him as he started picking up his clothes.

“Is that so?” he asked as he disposed of the condom.

“Yes, it was,” Younghoon pulled up his pants. “I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

“Your thoughts seemed pretty clear 5 minutes ago,” Juyeon pulled on his robe and hugged Younghoon from the back. “Tell me this doesn’t feel good.”

Younghoon’s breath hitched. The silk felt cool against his still sweaty back. Juyeon’s fingers splayed out around his ribs. His left index finger pressed against the scar.

“I gave you that, didn’t I? Was it our first time? Or our second?” he breathed against Younghoon’s ear.

“First,” Younghoon whispered.

“Right, you moved right as I was trying to stab you. That was fun,” Juyeon smiled.

“You have a bizarre definition of fun,” Younghoon turned his head only for Juyeon to catch his lips. The other man turned Younghoon so they were facing each other again.

“Maybe. I’m not sure if trying to kill you or fucking you was more fun. However, I’ve tried to kill you at least five times and I’ve only fucked you once,” Juyeon noted between kisses.

“Don’t forget that I gave you this,” Younghoon ran his finger over a thin, silvery scar on Juyeon’s collarbone.

“How could I forget when I let my guard down?” Juyeon’s fingers tangled in Younghoon’s hair. “Look what happened when you let yours down.”

They tumbled back on the bed, Younghoon in only his jeans and Juyeon’s robe hanging open.

“I said it was a mistake,” Younghoon looked up at him.

“No, you said it was a one time thing. You never said anything about mistakes,” Juyeon grinned.

“I was trying to leave,” Younghoon glared.

“Yet here you are under me again. Clearly you weren’t trying hard enough,” Juyeon perched on Younghoon’s hips. Younghoon felt himself starting to get hard again.

Fuck.

“Your dick certainly seems to think this wasn’t a one time thing,” Juyeon smirked. The other man’s cock was mostly hard again.

“Have you seen yourself?” Younghoon blurted out.

“Excuse me?” Juyeon asked.

“You know you’re hot. Of course my dick is going to react when you’re sitting on it wearing nothing but that square of fabric you call a robe,” Younghoon glared.

“You think I’m hot?” Juyeon looked like he was ready to devour him.

“I said you know you’re hot,” Younghoon breathed. His cock pressed painfully against his zipper.

“You know one time thing can be interpreted in many ways. It could be, as you’ve already tried, one fuck. It could be one night where I fuck you until both of us are dry. It could be one time where I raw you. Time is flexible when you know how to manipulate it,” Juyeon pulled Younghoon up by his shoulders and kissed him again.

“I’m leaving,” Younghoon breathed between kisses.

“Then leave,” Juyeon retorted.

“Get up,” Younghoon told him.

“Make me,” Juyeon replied, taking off his robe and tossing it to the side. Younghoon wrapped his hands around Juyeon’s waist. “You know you can’t pick me up like that.”

“I can try,” Younghoon huffed.

“Go ahead,” Juyeon kissed him again, grazing his finger over the scar on Younghoon’s ribs. Younghoon let go and ran his thumb over the mark on Juyeon’s collarbone. “We’ve marked each other forever, Younghoon. Why don’t you just give up?”

“I’m the good guy and you’re the bad guy,” Younghoon put his free hand on Juyeon’s ass, pulling him closer.

“Depends on how you look at it. Maybe I’m really the good guy here,” Juyeon bucked his hips against Younghoon’s straining erection. “That has to hurt. Why not open up your pants and save yourself the discomfort.”

“Make me,” Younghoon challenged.

“I can do it for you,” Juyeon reached between them and deftly opened Younghoon’s jeans. “See?”

“Asshole,” Younghoon glared.

“I’m about to ruin yours. Again,” Juyeon looked smug. It was hot. He slid off Younghoon’s lap and pulled his jeans down leaving him exposed. “Forgot to put your underwear back on?”

“I was in a hurry,” Younghoon huffed.

“You’re not going anywhere,” Juyeon forced Younghoon’s legs open and took his cock in his mouth. Younghoon let out an obscene groan. Juyeon laughed, sending a shot of pleasure up Younghoon’s spine.

“Get off,” Younghoon grunted, knotting his fingers in Juyeon’s dark locks.

“I plan on getting you off,” he teased the tip of Younghoon’s dick with his tongue. “Never knew you tasted this good.”

“Of course you would like the taste of semen,” Younghoon snorted.

“No darling. I said I like how you taste,” Juyeon nipped at Younghoon’s thigh.

“How many cocks have you sucked?” Younghoon asked. He wasn’t sure he actually wanted to know.

“Enough to know,” Juyeon dragged his tongue up Younghoon’s length. “As much as I’d love to suck you off, I’d prefer to obliterate your ass. Again.”

“It was a one time thing,” Younghoon tried to sound authoritative, but it came out as a whine. Juyeon had reduced him to a whiny, pouty, needy hole.

“One time, one night, it’s all the same,” Juyeon planted his hands on Younghoon’s thighs and forced him onto his back with the weight of his body. “Hell, it could be one lifetime if you know how to sell it.”

“I’m not buying,” Younghoon tilted his chin so Juyeon had better access to his neck.

“Don’t kid yourself. I could sell a tarantula to an arachnophobe,” Juyeon’s lips moved against Younghoon’s neck as he spoke. Younghoon’s body arched into Juyeon’s. “That’s it. Don’t fight it.”

“I have to,” Younghoon whined, spreading his legs.

“You don’t have to do anything. You’d rather play by someone else’s rules than make your own choices,” Juyeon ran his finger over Younghoon’s hole, still loose from earlier.

“That’s why -,”

“I know, I know. You’re the good guy and I’m the bad guy,” Juyeon cut him off. “Are you gonna let me raw you or not?”

“How do I know you’re clean?” Younghoon looked at him.

“I guess you’ll just have to trust me,” Juyeon slid one finger into Younghoon.

“Why should I trust you?” Younghoon adjusted his hips on Juyeon’s fingers.

“In all the years you’ve known me, have I ever lied to you?” Juyeon’s expression changed from playful to serious. “I’ve always done exactly what I said I was going to do. That includes trying to kill you on multiple occasions.”

“That’s true,” Younghoon confirmed.

“So why wouldn’t you trust me?” the other man asked. Younghoon bit his lip. He knew the answer, but he didn’t want to give Juyeon the satisfaction of hearing it. “Answer me, Younghoon.”

“You’ve never given me a reason not to,” Younghoon admitted.

“Exactly,” Juyeon’s expression changed back to mirthful. He pulled his fingers out, leaned over, and lubed his cock. “How convenient you’re already prepped for me.”

“Proud of yourself?” Younghoon wrinkled his nose.

“Very,” Juyeon pushed into him again. This time was an entirely different sensation. There was nothing separating them. Younghoon truly felt all of Juyeon.

“Holy fuck,” Younghoon breathed.

“So good for me. So responsive,” Juyeon pulled Younghoon up so he was sitting in his lap. Younghoon dug his fingers into Juyeon’s shoulders as he began thrusting up into him. Juyeon was taking him apart on his cock. Younghoon told himself he was too busy to fuck around. He had important work to do. Juyeon was the one who fucked around. He existed to make Younghoon’s life harder which, in his mind, included fucking anyone he wanted whenever he wanted. Yet here he was stuffed full with Juyeon’s dick for the second time that night.

“I hate you,” Younghoon breathed into Juyeon’s mouth.

“I hate you too. Now come for me, darling,” Juyeon had a vice grip on Younghoon’s hips. Younghoon came because he always did as he was told. Juyeon came a few seconds later, pumping everything he had left into Younghoon. Younghoon let his forehead fall on Juyeon’s forehead. The other man rubbed his back, his touch almost loving.

“They say hate sex is the best sex,” Juyeon observed.

“Wouldn’t know,” Younghoon mumbled.

“Right. You’re too busy saving the world from me,” Juyeon chuckled.

“Maybe I’m more selective with who I sleep with,” Younghoon pinched Juyeon’s shoulder. Juyeon popped him on the ass.

“Lying doesn’t suit you,” Juyeon told him.

“What does suit me?” Younghoon picked up his head.

“Being my obedient little fucktoy,” the other man taunted. Younghoon’s cock gave a pathetic twitch. “You like that idea? Being my fucktoy?”

“Do you ever shut up?” Younghoon asked.

“You bring out the chatty part of me,” Juyeon grinned.

“I bring out a lot in you,” he meant it as an insult.

“You have no idea,” Juyeon laughed.

[fontenotlegacy]

Sims 4 Fontenot Legacy - A Week in the Life of Matilda

We're stepping away very briefly from the Legacy Household to see a snippet of what Matilda's college life is like! Matilda has largely not been focused on since she's not the kid of an heir nor lived in the Legacy House at any point, but Matilda is getting a little bit of highlight! Finally, after a life surrounded by her brood of younger brothers (her mother Robin had several more kids, all boys), Matilda has entered college and started her adult life. This has included making good friends like Harper and Carlos, as well as starting a "casual" relationship with a young sim named Dandre.

Matilda's now in her sophomore year and enjoying the experience thoroughly. It's been nice having her own space and she feels like she can finally breathe without all the commotion of her home life. While freshman year was all about getting used to being on her own for the first time, sophomore year is different. No longer the lowest on the totem pole, Matilda intends to showcase herself to the larger school body in the ultimate college way: a huge dorm keg party!

Harper: There you are! Been looking everywhere for you. You gonna study in this little corner all day?

Matilda: Why didn't you just text me?

Harper: You left your phone on DND, as usual. Thankfully your bestie here can track you down. If you ever get kidnapped don't panic, I got you covered.

Matilda: Wow, my hero.

Harper: Well, come on! We reserved one of the study rooms.

Matilda: So how's Operation Banger going on your end?

Carlos: Looks like we'll get a pretty good crowd, guessing by the likes on the Social Bunny post.

Matilda: Sweet. I’ve been busy securing the goods. Dandre's got a good reference for a DJ too.

Carlos: You and Dandre have been getting pretty close.

Matilda: I guess you could call it that.

Carlos: So regularly ending up at his place all night isn’t “getting close”?

Matilda: It's not been a regular thing.

Harper: 2 out of 3 days this week, and it's only Tuesday.

Matilda: Wow, you really are a stalker.

Harper: Your fault for giving me GPS access to your phone.

Matilda: Which is meant for when I’m inevitably kidnapped by aliens for my impeccable good looks.

Harper: That's our Matilda. Never the humble type.

Matilda: Why should I be? I'm gorgeous, smart, and a lady who knows her future. I'm the total package.

Harper: Well Dandre seems to agree.

Matilda: He'd be an idiot not to. Doesn't mean our relationship has to be anything more than what it is now.

Carlos: Buuuuuut, he seems like the type that would want more.

Matilda: He knows this is casual. We talked about it.

Carlos: Did you?

Matilda: I mean, at some point.

Harper: That doesn't sound so certain.

Matilda: Guys, come on! We talked about it! We're having fun. A few dates here and there, just to let off some steam, sneaking up to his bedroom when his roommates are busy, but that's it. Casual. Plus, I don't even know if I like him enough for anything more serious.

Carlos: You kidding? Most girls drool over guys like Dandre.

Matilda: He's easy on the eyes, I guess.

Harper: Very attentive to you, too.

Matilda: He's nice.

Carlos: Just nice?

Matilda: Why are you two grilling me? I said Dandre's a cool guy, we get along, we have a good time. I’m good with that, and so is he.

Harper and Carlos glance at one another, but they don’t press further.

Harper: Well it'll still be nice to see him and his roommates at the party. Especially… what’s his name again?

Matilda: Romeo. He's pretty cute. You should talk to him.

Harper: Pah, I wouldn’t have the nerve. Plus, there’s really no point. Not looking for casualty like you, and he reeks of casualty. Wonder why you didn’t hook up with him instead.

Matilda: Because I met Dandre first. And like we said, girls drool over a guy like Dandre.

Carlos: So you're using him for clout.

Matilda: Did I say that?

Carlos: Just reading between the lines.

Harper: Okay you two, puts the claws away.

The trio laugh.

Harper: At any rate, this party will solidify our place in the university's history! Let's make it count.

Carlos: Hear, hear!

Matilda: Let's do this, guys.

[hotroadkill]

saw this and wanted to make my own post real quick bc i’ve gotten some questions abt my art before & now that i feel a bit more secure in my style i thought i’d give a few tips to anyone who wanted that :)

first i have to address how the submission is phrased: i'm sorry & i know no one wants to hear this but “keep practicing” is not a platitude that is always going to be the best advice 😭 the real question is:

how do you make practice fun?

1. challenge yourself in a way you find enjoyable/fulfilling :)

i liked doing things like art prompts from inktobers, and to draw comics of the stories i wrote, but mostly the answer for me was “set random number goal, meet random number goal, inject the validation from completed goal directly into my bloodstream, repeat.”

i worked on things kind of systematically, which just made my brain happy; i spent one summer when i was 14 doing nothing but drawing 10 full bodies a day, all with references of course. did the same throughout the fall with hands, then eyes, then expressions, then clothes, etc etc. it always had to be 10 diff angles and positions.

i did a repeat of this 10-drawings-of-10-angles rule throughout quarantine in 2020. failed all my online classes cuz i was drawing 6-10 hours every day and ignoring my homework but still passed the year in the end 💀 i got the idea from yumeii-art; it's been over 7 years since, so idk if i remember right, but she had given a similar rule of thumb as a response to someone's question about drawing without a reference, i think.

is this the Best path? probably not, idk. and it definitely lead to awkward phases where i was much better at drawing bodies than faces, for example — but it worked for me. i liked breaking things down like that, it felt more manageable.

the other number goal was. in 9th grade i saw this post:

and i was like. y’know what? yeah. i keep feeling bad abt my art, how about i put that feeling on pause until after i’ve filled 14 sketch book. i hope this user knows i owe all my achievements to the phrase “fill 14 sketch book” powering me through years of depression and art block.

so i did fill 14 sketch book!

i met that goal between ages 14 and 19. obv this doesnt include the doodles on my homework, on other random surfaces, or the ~150 digital artworks i’d done in that time, so maybe it was more like 16 sketch book? but that doesnt matter, i had 14 labeled & organized sketchbooks that were full, and i did feel better about my art by then. this was my anime training montage. this was 90% of my improvement. this was the best art advice i’d ever gotten.

so i guess what made art the most fun to me was numbers? which sounds lame but i guess since i’m competitive & love competing against myself the most, it just worked for me.

comparisons, with 2016 on the left and 2020 on the right:

(the new sketches are still rough and lack some detail ofc but i have terrible ADHD and always found it hard to sit down and keep working on a sketch once it was “done enough” — for some reason i dont rlly have the same impatience with digital art & have less of a problem completing pieces on my ipad now) (the point is. 14 sketch book level complete. 1000% worth it)

then my 2021-2024 improvement, when i had bought my own ipad and again spent most days drawing instead of doing my schoolwork (i.. did end up failing that first year of uni):

2. try out different mediums aimlessly!

what i mean is just go ham with some charcoal or whatever you have on hand, without the determination to Make It Good. i can’t say if this helped my actual art get better but what it did do was keep the joy of it alive & i had fun which lead to more practice & therefore improvement. color pencils weirdly were my favorite. hell, my school had us do a project with linoleum printing (is that how u spell it idk) and it gave me months’ worth of art inspo.

i also recently got a gift card for a stationery store and got some nice markers and those also gave me a ton of motivation. markers r good

3. if u do digital art, find ur fave brush; it will be ur familiar ur trusted companion ur lover in a past life

for lineart i mostly use the IGB office pack, favorite ballpoint. you’ll have to buy & download it online tho i think it was like $7? but yea it was worth it. (i did a lot of work with the gesinski ink brush in past years but i think it’s a bit too “sharp” now)

but also go crazy try them all it’s fun!

4. in my opinion it’s fine to do redraws of ur fave artist’s work now and then — as long as u keep it to urself and dont take credit for it

i’ve had ppl ask to use my art as a ref and my answer is always Not Sure Why You’d Want To Bc It’s Not All That, But Yes Of Course. as u can see most of my 2021 work was redrawing panels of the “gangsta.” manga; it didn’t even end up influencing my style much, my style was already based on all the manga shit i drew at 13, but it was the only thing i was motivated enough to draw at the time, and it was valuable practice.

art teachers still stress that the best reference is to draw from life & yeah thats true maybe but idc sometimes ur just not feeling that! so mix it up, whatever works. obviously respect it if an artist says not to reference their work and don’t only reference ur art from one artist but generally i think it’s harmless.

especially when there’s a specific thing an artist does very well that’s hard to find other examples of; personally i was fighting for my life trying to find how to best translate references of dynamic movement into art of dynamic movement. and i think the bnha mangaka does this wonderfully so i often referenced thise action panels as practice. and i think it helped loosen up my art style. (and… i was extremely ridiculously mentally ill about hawks so that…. contributed…. my fave ask to date is still the person who clocked hawks as my old fave character based purely on how i draw eyes 😭😭)

tracing is a diff conversation and my advice there is it is not actually helpful and it's. idk it feels very Against Artist Code. sometimes, and i havent done it in a couple years, but if a piece REALLY isnt working i've done the thing where u trace the general movement of a pose then go from there but i've never posted completed works where i used that method bc it felt wrong. but yeah that's a separate thing that i don't wanna go too deep into

5. another fun thing that motivated me to practice was doing speedpaints!

if you draw on procreate, it's probably set up automatically already. i don't have the storage to record everything, but when i do have it on, the knowledge that i'll have a speedpaint of the finished piece pushes me to put the last necessary touches on it. (if you'd like to see some of my speedpaints i have a few on my instagram)

some more technical advice:

1. flip your canvas flip your canvas flip your goddamn canvas i KNOW it hurts i KNOW it’s like ripping off a bandaid that’s superglued to ur skin i know but YOU HAVE TO FLIP YOUR CANVAS

(when i didn’t have an ipad i’d do this by taking a picture of the drawing on my phone and flipping the image in the photo app)

IT IS THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD AND IM NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT I’VE RAGE QUIT SOME PIECES OVER SEEING THE CANVAS FLIPPED BUT LOOK AT THIS ART BEFORE AND AFTER I’D FLIPPED IT AND FIXED HOW WONKY IT WAS: desaturated so tht the colors dont distract so much

like it's the BEST and honestly often the ONLY way you're going to catch things that were off/out of proportion/etc. flipping your canvas gives your brain a "new eye" and it's invaluable.

2. until you have color theory figured out…. i honestly depend on adding layers and setting them to color dodge, divide, multiply, overlay, etc…. i am cheating, perhaps, but it works

3. this is how i draw front-facing noses because it's what a czech woman in an extremely bad mood taught me in a cramped overheated stuffy classroom in germany when i was 12

it was our only meeting but she changed my life. i do not know how common this method is but it's possibly the only thing i can concretely give you a tutorial for. after a few times you won't need to do step 1 anymore

anddd i think that's all the advice i have that wouldn't be a repeat of every other art advice thing you've seen. i do know it boils down to "keep practicing" but again you won't get around that, and i just hope that concretely showing what's motivated me might help motivate someone else.

as an ending note, please take this sentence that motivated me just as much as the 14 sketch book rule: (via graveweaver, author of the webtoon "i'm the grim reaper")

[jungwnies]

hi maeby! its been a while, im sorry this took too long and I don’t know exactly when you’ll see this but know that i’m writing this on december 16 for reference hehe (this will essentially be a 2023 recap but ill try to be as short as possible)

last time i was here i think it was the end of june or beginnings of july and a lot has happened in my life, on august i turned 21 and i also went to the eras tour!! definitely one of the best days ever in my life and maybe top 3 on best days of 2023  🤍

talking about my birthday its little sensitive topic, for the past five years or so my birthdays has kind of been something that I’ve dreaded so much and i'm just the opposite of happy, its like those posts you see everywhere of people crying in their room during their birthdays and this year wasn’t  the exception, this years birthday..lets just say it will be memorable but leaving that aside august was kind of okay

the concert experience may be on of my favorite memories just because it feel so cathartic, it was just so beautiful talking to strangers and us bonding over music and art, listening and singing to my favorite songs, getting to go to a concert for the first time on my own, traveling with my sister (just the two of us) for the first time, all the beautiful pictures and videos and people that i keep with me because of that one experience it just something that I will eternally be grateful for (also, so. many. friendship. bracelets.)

i remember looking back at my life and my lowest points in it and thinking (and hopefully it won’t get too sad) “well maybe someone out there was right, i just needed to hang on a little tighter, cause imagine missing out on this” 

september was filled with delicious food and me going out a little more often

in october was my sisters birthday, so she held a halloween costume party and i got to dress up as an elf/fairy, i also went to one of my best friends birthday party and felt amazing seeing a couple of familiar faces after months, and some of them even years, waiting. also yes, this means i ate a lot of cake on october (my moms birthday was also on this month hah). i also took a ceramic class. i loved it (I made a small bowl :))

november i went out a lot, bought new clothes, bought christmas decorations, studied korean, went to the doctor cause i thought i was going to die (turns out im not, even far from it : im as healthy as a horse) 

and as of december, planning christmas dinner with my mom and sister, got a bad haircut that made me cry so hard and then got it fixed at another salon, had dates with friends, retook ceramic classes (i made two cups, three heart shaped plates and a little jewelry organizer), scheduled one more therapy session before the year ends after months of not going, took more buses this month than in my whole life and i guess im slowly figuring out my stuff a little more. 

i discovered new artists this year, feel in love again  with old ones that I had forgotten about, learned new cooking recipes, got a little more out of the house than last year, made amends with my body and established boundaries even though it hurt :)

turning 21 this year essentially meant a lot, i don’t want to go into more detailed as to not make this any longer but lets just say im planning on getting 21 tattooed on my next year haha

i hope the rest of the year was kind to you, if you feel comfortable to answer with maybe your favorite parts of 2023 would be great! if not just know that i love you and missed dropping by here, hopefully starting 2024 i'll be back here regularly <3<3

take care, stretch, rest all you need, take your time, and remember that im always right here rooting for you and hugging you 🩶🩶🩶

happy holidays :) love youuuuu

-🧸anon

hiii 🧸anon <3

it has been literally so long, i was taking a break from tumblr, honestly i didn't even think i'd come back but seeing this upon logging in literally brought joy to my heart knowing you're still around! :)

i've read everything, from your birthday to your christmas dinner with your mom and sister. starting with your birthday i'm glad that 2023 you had a memorable birthday after dreading it for so many years, and i hope 2024 also brings you joy! onto the concert next, i know exactly how you feel, it's something that you don't feel often and the crowds are just so amazing because it's people who share the same love for the same artist, and it's like you are in your own little world for a few hours. next, september & october, i'm glad it was filled with food and another birthday, it seems so fun to have a halloween themed birthday honestly!! november, i'm glad it was a good month besides the scary doctors visit >.< december seemed to have been a busy month for you, and hopefully your hair is okay now :( hopefully the therapy sesh went well. I'm glad your year was overall not too shabby, and I'm glad that you had a lot of character development. Hopefully 2024 brings you absolutely nothing but joy! 🖤

now onto my year, i guess i'll go with the highlights. i essentially had a relatively good year, i was able to do a lot of things, and uni was not too stressful, but it's a little harder this semester. starting with my august, i didn't do much except get ready for the semester, signed up for my september classes etc etc, it was relatively boring. my september was a little more eventful, i took a marine biology class which was so fun, and i'm not even majoring in marine bio, we got to talk about sea legends and a lot of the lore behind mermaids and other stuff. in october i did the same thing, but i made one of my best friends ever, except uhhh we're not really friends anymore as of recently, but my heart goes to them, they meant alot. in november i built a new computer, a little nerdy but i actually really enjoyed it except i had a mental breakdown trying to do cable management LMFAO 😭😭in december i had a good month, except the basement flooded so that wasn't very slay but regardless it was a good month filled with nothing but holiday spirit and gifts.

now with a short little update on my 2024, because it's been awhile. in january i went back to school for the second semester, and it's been tough i'm not going to lie. i also got a boyfriend so like !?!??! kinda crazy, he's not too bad but like every relationship we definitely have our downs. in february, it was a short month but nonetheless eventful this is the downfall of me and bestie tbh, but it's okay he was like a life lesson or something!?!?! now this month, it just started and it's been great, it's midterm week right now so i'm a bit stressed, but i also suddenly got motivation to go back on youtube and write on tumblr again, so i'm super happy about that :)

i hope 2024 is kind to you and gives you a lot of joy! remember to take care of yourself, just as you always say to me, stretch, rest all you need, take your time, and remember that im always right here rooting for you and hugging you as well! ❤️❤️❤️

have a great year, and i hope to see you again 🧸❤️

[mandana-the-service-pup]

Methotrexate Update

Doctor got back to me about my labs. My absolute monocytes are high but she isn’t concerned. She didn’t explain why (my best guess it’s bc my exercise has increased so drastically in such a short amount of time but idk) She says I can stay at the same dose and she doesn’t need another lab for three months. I have been doing GREAT on it. Hardly any negative side effects.

The stomach pain I’ve had every night for a year is gone.

My post-exercise chest pain that I’ve been going to cardiologist and ER for since Oct 2022 is completely gone (playing and shoveling snow 100% would have set that off)

TMI // My period has been freaking purple since Sept 2022 and I’ve been bleeding so much that the OBGYN thought I had a fibroid rupture. Well I just had my first period on Methotrexate and it’s all back to normal now and the amount was 1/3 what it has been which is a huge relief. It still hurt but I was able to eat and drink which I usually struggle with for the first few days. Maybe the pain will get better over time.

My gums don’t bleed any more when flossing. It just stopped as soon as I started methotrexate.

I’m able to eat and drink a lot more than I was which is great.

I have way more range of motion in my joints (which is making me have more problems with my hypermobility but whatev)

I still have muscle and joint pain but I honestly think most of it is bc I’ve been able to do so much more. I was taking 600 mg ibuprofen 2-3 times a day and my pain was still 7-7.5/10 and now I’m not taking any ibuprofen except maybe once every couple days and it’s a solid 6-6.5/10

Oh and I can take deeper breaths. Like I’m still having low oxygen show up on my oxymeter but for most of my life my ribs have felt like I’m wearing a corset and they can’t expand when I breath in and that has improved so much that I just walk around the house thinking “wow. I can take a breath. Wow” I’m not sure if this is due to my joints and ribs having more range of motion or if it’s connected to the hyperinflation of my lungs that showed up on the X-ray. Idk but it’s awesome and I’m making an appointment with pulmonologist again to double check lung stuff

The only con I’m currently having is the high absolute monocytes which my dr says is fine and I’ve been having really bad night sweats (actually I’m sweating a ton all the time) but I think my body is just like…recalibrating. Usually effects are really seen after a few months so I’m super excited for 2024!

Mandana’s Health Update

Surprise surprise the new vet doesn’t want to prescribe LDN/s

I get why. There are no studies on using LDN for pain in dogs (there are a few cancer studies in dogs which include LDN for pain relief and QOL but whatev) I humored her and tried to use Carprofen but Mandana doesn’t do well on pain meds and always gets an upset stomach after a couple days. This time was no different and she was miserable and vomiting so I took her off it. We discussed all of our options which I’ll list now for reference:

Decrease carprofen from 75mg twice a day to 75mg once a day // not gonna work bc the original dose wasn’t even very effective for managing her pain and I imagine if she’s already having problems with NSAIDs then taking even a small dose every day for years will hurt her.

Try a different NSAID called Meloxicam // we expect the same problem we have with carprofen

Try a different type of pain relief called Amantadine // Used along side NSAIDs (which we can’t do) so not very effective on its own and can have a side effect of urine retention which Mandana is prone to (she gets this as a “rare” side effect of both apoquel and Benadryl so I would rather not risk it, esp since Proin gave her high blood pressure and we had to discontinue it so there would be no back up if she got incontinence again)

Try the new type of pain relief that was just approved in the US called Librela // This is what we’re going to do next. She has an appointment for her first injection 1.5 weeks from now.

Consult with a Neurologist and get an MRI // After we get her back pain approved by our PetsBest insurance we will make an appointment for a neurologist consult and MRI. The two X-rays we have are 9 months apart and show a narrowing of the disc space between L4-5 but the general consensus is that it shouldn’t be causing as much pain as she is in so an MRI will give us a better idea of what’s going on and the Neurologist might have more treatment options for us.

We really want to wrap up some of these big health concerns for both of us before 🐾2025🐾👀 and we are already making a lot of progress so I’m super hopeful!