#i’ve been gone for a little while…
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horizon forbidden west
( scenery )
developer: guerrilla games
#i’ve been gone for a little while…#i’m sorry about that!#life got a little hectic…#horizon forbidden west#horizon#hfw#horizon forbidden west scenery#horizon scenery#hfw scenery#game scenery#scenery#game photography#virtual photography
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[ cw: death mention / family death mention / ]
Mhmm I sure love thinking of the reality where we did get more time to really know Karai and her dynamics with the bros. Losing her hit hard in the finale, but it would’ve hit much, much harder had we known Karai longer and really saw her relationships develop with everyone.
I especially would have been interested in her dynamic with Leo, as past iterations often have the two of them clash in ideals and the like while still sharing many characteristics. Two sides of the same coin, and all that. Her specifically being the bros’ Gram-Gram also adds a whole new dynamic as well.
Imagine how interesting it would be, to have Karai start off on Leo’s side for once, showing wholly just how alike the two are at their cores and bonding as family without the worry of betrayal or animosity that other iterations suffer through, only to have Karai die anyway. Their parting hug and the desperate look of horror Leo wears later on would have hit that much harder, I feel.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rise karai#rise leo#rottmnt karai#rottmnt leo#I think a lot about these two in particular#and how that dynamic could have flourished#the way it was depicted in the finale is so purposefully unique and painful like#that hug man#can you imagine how much more heartbreaking that would have been if we knew her longer#not that it wasn’t already sad but we just simply didn’t know her long enough to be completely attached#also imo having more episodes with her and in general would have presented something I’ve been thinking about since the finale#so like - I like to think each bro kinda immediately leans more toward certain family members#Mikey has Draxum#Donnie has April#Raph has Splinter because this is another one that would be SO GOOD and make the finale moment where Raph sees his memories hit harder#if they had an ep or two more of Splinter and Raph together bc I really do feel like Raph respects Splinter most of the four#and finally- Leo has Karai#and then he loses her#imo? this would align with the movie even more#because it was the act of heroism that kinda killed her in a way - makes sense that Leo would initially be leaning away from that#and yet he ends up exactly like her anyway#haha sorry for rambling I just really love the interesting dynamic these two tend to have#and it’s a shame we didn’t get to see it really explored in rise#but yeah make no mistake while I’m focusing on Leo here I wanted more for all the boys and karai#Mikey’s little moments with her were so sweet and we already know how much he yearns for more family#Karai being from an age long gone would mean she’d be super impressed by literally any invention Donnie has (adult validation!!)#and could you imagine her training with Raph - with this training being referenced in the finale?
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You: Kento, baby can I ask you a question?
Nanamin: Knock yourself out
You: (dreamingly saying) don’t you ever think or dream of your “Dream Job”?
Nanamin: (deadpan look) Honey. I don’t dream of labor.
-☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆
Nanami felt bad for the bad response so he ended up eating her kitty (΄◉◞౪◟◉｀) to make her feel better:)
#i haven’t been on here in so long#little something since I’ve been gone for a while#I hate labor as well#jujutsu kaisen#jjk anime#jjk#jjk imagines#jjk headcanons#nanami fluff#jjk nanami#nanami x reader#nanami kento#nanami drabbles#jujutsu nanami#kento nanami#nanami smut#nanami x you
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Sorryyyy for dropping off the face of the earth; got kinda shy after that last post but mostly I’ve just been writing though I cannot guarantee that any of that will ever be finished (also I’m very insecure about my writing AAAH). Figure I might as well post the valentines I had done (like two months late lol); interestingly this turned into more of a hand lettering exercise than I was expecting lol
#len’en#yabusame houlen#suzumi kuzu#tsubakura enraku#haiji senri#art#digital#there was one more but I’m not confident it’s like. funny? and I have stuff I’d eant to change abt it#and these four have pretty good comedic timing as a set so I’ll just leave well enough alone#also had plans for a Kuroji and uhhh Xeno a but those haven’t panned out#you’ll have to excuse me I’ve been going off the rails and also have not fixed the meds situation (I’m completely out atm)#started like four fics; yes they are all suzutsuba and there is. so much sex (not described/on screen but STILL)#didn’t manage to stay away from Hamal Cine Bad End either jfhshsjfb#too nervous abt talking yo pol rn to leave comments but zaranthropy if you’re reading this I owe you my life#also I think I said I was inspired on something by dissociation constant and then when chapter 2 came out I relized it was something I had#completely misinterpreted but I’m too embarrassed to actually go and check lol……#*talking to ppl sorry I had to turn off my autocorrect cause it was being compeltely unreasonable#OH YEAH also this Haiji design was a little bit inspired by a redesign of them from uhhhhhhh who was it. idk most of their blog is gone but#I’ll go check my likes#anyway I like how they tuned out also that joke came to me several days after valentine’s and gave me the idea for this whole thing#edit: can’t find the post anymore for some reason but I think yhe name was like chiosu or something?#did somebody go delete their blog while I wasn’t looking
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put her in bandori!!!
Shizuku got lost and met some of the bandori girls!!
#sorry I’ve been gone for a little while!!#school hit me with a baseball bat#but I’ll try to be more active again hopefully#shizuku’s lost again#shizuku hinomori#prsk#pjsk shizuku#pjsk#project sekai#bandori#bandori girls band party
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I finally saw the mean girls musical (the movie one) I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god
#thoughts#oni talks#mean girls 2024#I think I may be the only person to kind of like it? like don’t get me wrong it is kinda ROUGH but it has so much potential and there’s bits#and pieces that I actually really enjoy or wish they had more of or just aahh#I’ve been nonstop thinking about the ideal version in my head like there’s so much potential obviously I’m biased by like a lot#since for one I know I tend to like stuff other people hate or don’t like but for two this sequel was weirdly way more relatable so maybe#I’m just projecting from my own personal experiences but Idc the POTENTIAL THERES SO MUCH ID WANNA DO INSTEAD#like there’s so many little details and characterizations that I wish was expanded on or fleshed out and it’s just like it feels like either#half baked or that it’s gone through too many edits it’s like it’s scared to exist?? like there’s some differences I love and wish they lol#leaned into but it’s like it was terrified to be too different? or like they were rushing the end especially#like in my ideal form it’s a tv show coz I think they honestly have enough that could be genuinely expanded in a way more interesting way#via that format probably not like a super extended series like you COULD but you’d definitely need more expansion but I could see the potent#but like idk one SOLID musical season with expanded character story and not like one of those rush cram shows like a good solid one#like Regina’s characterization is so fascinating but also feels like slightly off and like they could’ve leaned way more into things?#like I think keeping Regina as a closeted lesbian gives the greatest potential and interest for an expanded story#like I loved maybe the first half of the movie the most like that one song she sang to manipulate Aaron would work so much more perfectly if#she’s singing it about/to Cady? I also think in my ideal brain an cool flashback episode for Janis and Regina would be so cool coz there’s#so much you could flesh out in a flashback than you could in a retelling which while I do like the retelling since it lets you imagine thing#I just! potential! I also want more of them interacting and I do think changing Janis to be a lesbian works if they leaned more into it?#I also think in my ideal form janis would have more comeuppance or acknowledgement of her shit? I also think an arc of Regina coming out#like one thing they missed from the original is Regina playing soccer at the end & I think they could hint more towards that and maybe lean#more into her at home life in an expanded story way coz her mom is clearly like… yikes. granted maybe some of my views on the movie are too#biased by personal experience but like the way she snaps at her mom usually in my experience isn’t out of nowhere? like parents behind#closed doors. or frustrations with what her mom has clearly been putting on her the way she tells her mom not to talk about her body is very#like idk a lot of the characters in this version feel more real to me bc they act really similar to people I know irl so the expanded story#could be cool. another one that in my ideal brain would have more is Gretchen and especially her relationships with Regina as well as with#that one guy and her parents I wanna see more of how that works and her arc to feel more meaningful when she dumps him & mentions family#also as much as I didn’t care much for the straight plot stuff there’s 100% missed potential there that I could see in the differences like#iirc in the original it’s regular algebra not AP calc which I think could’ve been used as an interesting characterization opportunity for
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aj hi hi aj i have not burst randomly into ur inbox in awhile and GUESS WHAT it's not about ilia or catmeleon for once. idk what kind of music u like to listen to but if u like rock at all you NEED to listen to starset and their new single "dystopia" actually u need to listen to all 4 of their new singles "brave new world" "degenerate" and "toksik" IM GOING FERAL FERAL
since i have been almost exclusively cycling between the barenaked ladies, the b-52s, cavetown, and madonna in some deeply disturbed past couple of weeks, i’ll welcome ANY music suggestions and will put it on the list!!
#i’ve gone insane the past little while guys believe me when i tell you!!!#i’ve been a kooky lil cat recently! i’ve been speaking exclusively in impressions and practicing my standup routine#and my music rotation has gotten equally as weird!#asks#technicallyblakebelladonna
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thinking abt how much of my life i’ve lost to depression and i truly want to throw up
#day to day doesn’t feel like much but. oh no it’s been like fully a decade#i wish therapy wasn’t so expensive#bc for a while i was on meds (that. didn’t do much tbh.) but that made me feel like i was Treating It so i was making progress#spoiler alert it did not. and now the fact that i’ve wasted so much of my life is making it worse#bc everyone else i know has like. lives and people in them#and i pretty much just have my parents. and my mom is also going through it#i have relied SO much on them and that also feels bad!!! feels like i’ve taken advantage of them!!!!!#i know people talk about how much it messes w your memory but i figured it was short term bc the days all blend together#i literally had a moment yesterday where i forgot i went to college at all#the whole thing feels like a missed opportunity bc i didn’t do anything i wanted to really#i was too afraid to go to clubs that looked interesting. i didn’t think practically abt what i was studying#i mostly didn’t have roommates but when i did i was Bad At It#i managed to go through the whole time only speaking to like. three people#so you can see how it’s kind of. completely forgettable#i have worked jobs bc it’s a paycheck. never really enjoyed them never really made friends (even tho now i’m kicking myself for not keeping#in touch with some people) but i have always kept a very strong work/life division even in school#because i was there to do a Specific Thing so that’s all that matters yknow#anyway. sometimes i DO wish i could go back to high school bc even tho it sucked. it was structured#and i had resources and more time to try things and like. a life outside of my computer. a little bit#yknow. i feel like people have more sympathy if you’re anxious abt everything and never gone outside#when you’re 16 as opposed to 25
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just need to mention i spent like a solid few minutes talking with some friends about how u write shadow and his shadowisms so well (i want to punch him so bad hes so. bitch) and i was feeling it so deep in my soul with the latest chapter after he started getting uppity about how he doesnt want sonic to treat him like hes fragile like POINTING THATS THE CONCEPT I ENJOY!!!!!!!!!! also gay gay homosexual gay
unironically me looking at this ask^
if it wasn’t already incredibly obvious shadow is my fave character to write for so this makes me so happy to see. also shadowisms is a great term for them because that’s really what they are!
#i have many thoughts about my specific portrayal of shadow that i may save for another time#because while i don’t think my shadow behaves as say canon current-day shadow would#he’s also NOT that#shadow’s character has so many little nuances and possibilities and its fun to explore what would be different and what would be the same#if events of his life had gone differently#for example i think a shadow who had not lost his memory after the events of sonic adventure 2 would be very different than say#the shadow the hedgehog we see in shth and sonic 06#same principle with mdlhea shadow. in this au his life went quite differently but i still want to maintain those core personality traits#and then we have mdlhea sonic whose life and upbringing was even more drastically different from his canon self than shadow#I’ve been trying to strike a balance between the differing circumstances of their upbringings while keeping their characters recognizable#and i think im doing okay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ or at least im having fun with it and tbh thats all that really matters in the end#whoops remember how i said id save my thoughts for another time#shadow#asks#mdlhea#jii-prime#text
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hmmmmmmm
#drunk again a little bit#feeling good as hell#everything’s gonna be ok#appreciation post for judydoll’s tinted lip gloss in 02 ice strawberry something whatever#non sticky… non transferring.. very flattering not in an unnatural way#basically looks like i’ve just chugged an ice cold m150 or like ate a popsicle yk#if ur a pale bitch like me just get it it’s gooooood i feel like the shit rn it’s sexy asf best and only cosmetic product i own#i was gonna watch evangelion with my siblings earliwr#it’s my brother’s fave show and i’ve been meaning to start it for a while#naked rei kinda freaked out my sister though#what’s her deal#big puritan bout every damn thing#anyway big argument.#doubt she’ll be watching any more of the show which is a shame cuz#i’ve missed hanging out just the three of us. ye olden days of harry potter movies and minecraft are long gone#and nge do live up to the hype#on ep 5 or something so far#so far my thoughts:#rei is creepy as fuck and i don’t really like or dislike her#everybody is too hard on shinji; bros just a kid experiencing horrors beyond human comprehension#i wonder if i’d have what it takes to pilot an EVA#ik the pilots go thru hell but that’s kind of the dream innit#everybody feels like they’re saddled with some kind of crushing burden#everybody is in a way#u gotta be alive in the world and try to live a good life n shit#it’s such a horrible burden to live#but for it to actually matter in the grand scheme of things you know#pilot a cool mech save humanity#for ur struggle and pain to actually be worth something that’s what we all want#oh and the third episode(?) where shinji’s classmates/ former bullies end up in unit01’s cockpit
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I’m so tired.
#how do people make friends as adults#like I’ve been at uni 3 years#I’ve joined clubs#gone to events with people#cooked dinners and had takeaways sat in the living room#and yet somehow always seem to be an after thought#I’m literally a week away from handing in my dissertation with lots of work today#and the housing situation here sucks#and two people who I’ve been talking to about housing#who know how badly it all sucks#have put in for a flat of their own without saying anything#and I get it#it’s not really a shock cause like they’re a couple that can get a 1 bed and split the cost#they’ve been together 18 months#but I’m not even worth the talk apparently.#is it me is there something fundamentally wrong with my ability to make friends#or am I just really crap at picking people out#and like. they’re not awful people don’t get me wrong#but I also reckon if I went home from here for an extended period of time.#or left after uni#I’d never see any of them again#and apparently I feel badly enough about it all that I need to shout into the void here.#something that I do not do at all#but I have no idea what I’m doing now and finding somewhere new to live that is walkable to the uni is really difficult cause#for a uni town they sure don’t like students in any of their properties#I have so much work to do I should not be worrying about any of this right now#but I’d like to just play the switch instead and forget about this project or other people for a while#and I can’t cause this is due in on Wednesday and there’s still lots to do#and I can’t even complain about it to anyone cause they all talk to each other#a little circle of gossip that just goes round and round
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#like I’m sorry#I love my best friend so so so much and she’s perfect and kind and has gone above and beyond to be rational and to be there for me#and I get it she’s an autistic woman and has faced adversity and has had to go on medical leave and that’s hard#and I’m not being dismissive of her struggles#but it makes me so angry because her parents unconditionally love her and her siblings and have always made her feel that way#and has never worried about money as a kid#and yeah her relationship with her parents isn’t perfect of course#but she literally cannot understand domestic violence beyond just reading about it in a book#like she did everything she can to understand and relate#but sometimes I want to scream because I feel so alone#because no one in my life fucking understands why I’m the way I am#and I’ve been struggling the past two months really badly with coping#I’ve had to go to the doctor to ask about PTSD and not like the tik tok OWO kind#but the I was in a car crash as a kid with my dad as a drunk driver and I keep getting flashbacks in my daily life to being a small child#that are impacting by daily life and interactions#and like I feel so fucking alone#and to hear from my friends ‘your right this is horrible and toxic but lots of people go through this’ ISNT FUCKING HELPING#I don’t want to hear that it’s normal I want to feel fucking safe in my bedroom without my mother blowing up my phone or calling the cops#I am unwell and I’m so stressed and I’m so sick and I can’t cope with this and none of the therapists I’ve tried to find handle ptsd#especially not therapists of color#I’m angry and I’ve been getting worse over the past two months#and not that it matters but due to ^^^ reasons my birthday has always been insanely fucking bad for me#like depression watch bad. when I turned twenty I was vividly hallucinating while walking around campus for a week straight having#flashbacks in class and I had to be taken out of the auditorium because I was physically unwell and couldn’t stop crying and shaking#and I told my friend I didn’t want to celebrate I just wanted to sit on her couch and not be alone and she fucking ditched me#because an emergency with a different friend came up the night before#like I have a history of suicidal ideation traumatic flashbacks eating disorders and self harm and I’m asking you to be with me on a very#upsetting day and you call me the night before telling me we have to cancel because another friend is having a bigger crisis#and like you don’t even feel a little bad about it??#I’m just upset and scared and I’ve got a doctors appointment tomorrow and I’m not in reality right now and that’s scary
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won’t lie, experiencing some horrors
#just cried uncontrollably for like 20 mins#cried like 3 times yesterday too#i have no energy for like anything rn.. went to buy new glasses today tried on 15 pairs hated them all and then went back to my car#and cried because i really need new glasses since i fucked up my current pair and they don’t sit right now and dig into my face#tw death . my grandma passed away while i was flying home from canada#and it sucks because everyone got to be with her and say goodbye but i didn’t#and there’s a viewing tomorrow and my dad thinks i should go since it will be my last chance to see her but i don’t want to#i get that it’s a healing way to say goodbye for some people but i don’t want to see my oma lifeless#i know i’ll never get to see her again and that fucking sucks but she’s gone and i don’t want to see her like that#plus i have work and i already called in sick 2 days i don’t want to leave them short again even if it’s understandable#anyway the funeral is on tuesday at least i have the day off already and don’t have to worry about work#everything sucks soooooo fucking bad rn i won’t lie i’m not doing too great#and i miss el so much like i would kill to be able to hug my gf right now#their mom sent me a video today of them laying on the couch with their parents cat cuz they visited for father’s day#and i’ve cried twice while watching it…#argh. anyway. going to go watch a silly little video of some sort and maybe sleep early cause i haven’t been sleeping well#it’ll be ok 🧡#p
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#might have just lost all my ipad data…. all my refs and art files….#i was literally working on the cutest piece when it locked me out and my password wasn’t working#i’m on recovery mode rn praying it didn’t wipe everything but i am not a lucky man most of the time :(#sucks enough to lose most all my references but god my art files too?#that’ll be all the unfinished 1d pieces i loved and was saving for a big wip dump gone….#all my old commission pieces…. my merch designs… my photo studies and digital sketchbook pages….#and my super recent pieces i was really proud of all gone :(#praying my art files are at least partially okay…. even if i lose my ref i can find a lot of saved on my socials#but god losing all those files is going to destroy me a little#especially because i’ve been in a good art mood for the first time in quite a while#hoping wishing praying etc everything will be fine!!
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i sometimes think that in spite of my mental stuff i have a very good handle on myself and especially my impulsivity and then i look at how i consume media
#marzi speaks#for the past few months i have looked at nothing new. none of the things i love took up a huge space in my mind#earlier this week i decided i was gonna start listening to wtnv again#i also decided i was finally ready to watch qsmp#so i am now doing both. at the same time#my desire to create has come back with a vengeance as well. i do not normally make 2 pieces in a week#and now i’m brainstorming on a 3rd!#my strat has been watch as much qsmp as possible while doodling to maintain attention span#then work on whatever art i want to make and use wtnv as background noise#i have gone from Nothing to Turbo mode#why? i legit think it’s the anxiety. also maybe the adhd i still think i might have#i’ve been busy all summer and thinking abt college bc i move out in like 7 days#so i haven’t had brain capacity for this stuff#now though? with it so close? i’m antsy#i’m restless constantly. i don’t even wanna go to bed i wanna Do Something (nothing to do)#so i’m giving my brain as much to chew on as physically possible so it can not panic about a maior milestone in my life lmao#it’s working! it’s enough for my brain to juggle so i don’t get bored and start Thinking too much#but damn. funny how this little mind works#sometimes i do not feel fully in control lmao. i usually do but sometimes#escapism. my true vice <3. i could never hate you but damn. like damn dude
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another thing i want to know more about is denise. do we think she and robert were married, or just dating? the wording of “denise left me” implies marriage to me (dating might be more of “breaking up”) but maybe if they’d been in a relationship for a while, that would be the wording anyway? so then when did robert and denise meet/get together? and most importantly, if they were married, did the cpds go to the wedding?
#ik some people think denise is dennis’s mum#bc of the christmas that goes wrong#which is a funny headcanon and i very much support other people accepting it!#i personally don’t believe it bc we know they hooked up christmas 2015#and then he’s dating chris’s mum by christmas 2016#and then them getting back together feels a little weird?#i mean it’s definitely possible. hence why i support others using it#but i personally just don’t see it#but either way! presumably robert and denise got together after robert stopped things with celia#so 2017 at the earliest#so then when did they get married (if they got married)#if they did get carried then the cpds must have gone. surely.#and then how long ago did they split?#before spirit of christmas?#because he said ‘i’ve never gotten over that’#which implies it was a while back#which i mean. maybe that does imply he’s talking about dennis’s mum?#maybe she left him at some point in 2016?#before robert dated celia?#but that also means that robert’s been living in his car for 3 years#unless the living in his car wasn’t related to denise at all#(i can’t quite remember the details)#so yeah. a lot to consider. i love overthinking cornley.#also! additional potential lore!#in the 2020 ppgw programme#it says that robert has a wife named bernie#i’m hesitant to accept it as firm canon#bc it also says he’s been touring the world on the business lecture circuit for 20 years#which is probably bc the guy who played robert in this cast is a bit older than henry lewis#but anyway. id say more but i’ve literally reached the tag limit. rip.
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