#bc of the christmas that goes wrong
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the-irrelevant-trumpeter · 2 years ago
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another thing i want to know more about is denise. do we think she and robert were married, or just dating? the wording of “denise left me” implies marriage to me (dating might be more of “breaking up”) but maybe if they’d been in a relationship for a while, that would be the wording anyway? so then when did robert and denise meet/get together? and most importantly, if they were married, did the cpds go to the wedding?
#ik some people think denise is dennis’s mum#bc of the christmas that goes wrong#which is a funny headcanon and i very much support other people accepting it!#i personally don’t believe it bc we know they hooked up christmas 2015#and then he’s dating chris’s mum by christmas 2016#and then them getting back together feels a little weird?#i mean it’s definitely possible. hence why i support others using it#but i personally just don’t see it#but either way! presumably robert and denise got together after robert stopped things with celia#so 2017 at the earliest#so then when did they get married (if they got married)#if they did get carried then the cpds must have gone. surely.#and then how long ago did they split?#before spirit of christmas?#because he said ‘i’ve never gotten over that’#which implies it was a while back#which i mean. maybe that does imply he’s talking about dennis’s mum?#maybe she left him at some point in 2016?#before robert dated celia?#but that also means that robert’s been living in his car for 3 years#unless the living in his car wasn’t related to denise at all#(i can’t quite remember the details)#so yeah. a lot to consider. i love overthinking cornley.#also! additional potential lore!#in the 2020 ppgw programme#it says that robert has a wife named bernie#i’m hesitant to accept it as firm canon#bc it also says he’s been touring the world on the business lecture circuit for 20 years#which is probably bc the guy who played robert in this cast is a bit older than henry lewis#but anyway. id say more but i’ve literally reached the tag limit. rip.
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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rainc0at · 2 months ago
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brassic questions im haunted by: what the fuck was the wanking contest? why the FUCK do these "professional thieves" never silence their phones when they're robbing? why does dylan continue to take class a's?
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daincrediblegg · 11 months ago
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Funny how writing a post about a muppet christmas carol can lead to it getting demoted from best christmas carol adaptation
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sadbitchboi · 1 year ago
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because I ran out of space in the tags I’m also adding here. PUPPET SHOWS!! I loved seeing them as a kid and now getting drunk/high/tripping while seeing them is so fun. God I could go on forever about all the shows I’ve seen. Def more than 25 tho
*by live theatre i mean plays, musicals, operas, ballets, concert versions of musicals, staged readings, & things of that nature. EDIT: YES this includes amateur, local, kids, high school, & community theatre. almost every show i've seen has been local
if you want, list the names of the shows you've seen in the tags!
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thesunshookwithjoy · 1 month ago
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(extremely long tag rant)
#sometimes it’s like ‘I have a handle on my ocd and it’s been pretty good!’ but that’s a lie actually#it’s just that I haven’t been constantly triggered and degraded in a while#but m’s parents are visiting! and they simply refused to do anything differently than they’d do it at their house#and listen. listen to me. I know I have a disorder that makes people moving things around in my house and leaving their shit everywhere#a big problem where for most it wouldn’t be an issue at all#and I don’t actually expect or even really ask my guests to follow my rules bc I think that’s unreasonable#I just have to fix the house every night before bed or I can’t sleep#but they keep staying up until like 1am and I’m not sleeping every night so I’m exhausted and I can’t wait up for them#so I wake up - house wrong. I fix it and then leave a room for 5 seconds - house is wrong. I go to bed - house is wrong.#I just get no fucking relief from it its constant. they don’t even push in their fucking chairs. it’s like living with children#and she complains about shit all the fucking time. ‘your floors are always so cold you know it’s not like that at our house’#okay well we rent so we have no control over that and also we live in entirely different places maybe houses are different here#she started making chicken - didn’t ask about a cutting board so she tried to use a cracked one I only keep as decor and THEN#she goes to start doing the chicken stuff after I get her out the right stuff and there’s fucking dog food out on the counter next to her#and she looked at my like I was such a bitch when I moved the bowls of dog food away. I’m not having raw chicken AND dog food on there#I asked them to not leave the dogs bowls on the counter too but that’s a lost cause ig. better than the diaper on my couch#it’s just constant and I obviously can’t just pick up their shit and tidy it the same way I can m’s#and he slides back into all these rude habits bc he’s around his parents again bc obvi that’s how they raised him so he regresses#I’m just so tired and I have another day and then they want to do 5 days for thanksgiving and 7 for Christmas#and I have to find a way to tell m that if they’re in my house for 7 days I’ll actually have to barricade myself in the bedroom#usually I feel like he and I are on the same side when it comes to his parents but lately I’ve just felt pretty abandoned and that’s hard#I had to take a benzo just to deal w them yesterday bc my heart rate was like 180 for an hour#AND I’m on my PERIOD#this was a long tag rant but I needed this#personal
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scottishstoner · 2 years ago
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I’ve been working all week like 7-2 or 8-3 at the Hilton hotel restaurant and I enjoy it but I must’ve been exhausted coz I passed out on my couch at 5pm and woke up at 11pm 💀 lol I have to be awake again tomorrow for my shift at 7-2, my niece has began working with me…shes 16 and her second shift there from a week or 2 ago and she’s nervous again bless. ✨ she’ll be fine I work there all the time lol and she has me, she got nervous coz last breakfast shift (afternoon wasn’t as bad mostly just setting tables for later or polishing cutlery etc) it got very very busy but it’s not always like that so she got flung in the deep end her first shift lol. Anyway I hope I can sleep soon bc I have to leave at 6:15am to get into town for just before 7 to clock in lol it’s now 12:45am 💀
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whichcouldmeannothing · 1 year ago
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big big marvey fic rec list
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marvey is currently my most bookmarked ship, so trust me when i say i've been around the bend for marvey content. i have dug through a lot of it the past few months, so trust that these fics have been highly rated!
fics are loosely grouped, with the summary and my thoughts under the cut :3 no spoilers ofc bc i love you
MY PERSONAL FAVOURITES
A Specter-Ross Affair by @frivoloussuits (15k+, au)
“You ordered an ‘extra-hot, extra-wet cappuccino, single-origin, properly layered, to-go and ready five minutes ago to make up for your service speed or lack thereof.’” In which Mike is a barista, Rachel is a lawyer, and Harvey is paid excessive amounts of money to plan their joyous Christmas wedding.
"Love is just a particularly socially accepted form of fraud. It's a series of increasingly complex and fragile deceptions between two or more people, and, more alarmingly, between each participant and their own deluded subconscious."
i literally cannot recommend this fic enough. this might be my favourite read of the entire year, dead serious. this sounds fluffy but trust me, the pining and the angst go well like salt on a chocolate chip cookie: extremely decadent. everything about this fic goes insane and this should be your gateway drug into marvey, im so serious about this. READ IT. (weddingplanner!harvey)
of all the gin joints by @frivoloussuits (10k+, au)
Hanging around a neighborhood bar one night, Harvey befriends a guy named Mike after realizing they can both quote The Princess Bride on demand. In the law offices of Rand, Kaldor, Zane and Pearson, senior partner Harvey Specter takes on an unusual case, representing his managing partner's daughter as she divorces a Michael James Ross. Harvey sees no connection until it's far too late.
"They’re playing a virtuosic duet with inhuman ease, as if the intoxication has broken their boundaries and blurred them into a single entity."
this. obsessed with fics that really use the law in their plots, and this is a prime example. a lot of chemistry in this one that is described in a way that makes you jealous of the bond they share and there are still lines in this fic that i think about almost everyday but honestly, such a top-tier read. PLEASE PLEASE IF YOU LIKE SUFFERING ANF REALLY REALLY GOOD CHEMISTRY PLEASE
5U175 by Closer (26k, canon-adjacent)
Harvey sometimes moonlights as a Star Trek BNF. Mike might have an attitude problem on the internet. TiberiusGhost is strangely compelling, for a recluse who never goes to meetups, and Harvey's finding this kid Photohead vaguely familiar…
i know that the terminology in this one is hella old-school but trust me. as someone who doesnt read a lot of fandom fics, this fic has changed it all for me (also bc the author replied to my comment hehehe) stick with this fic because the way fandom weaves with the character development is absolutely delicious, i remember saying this in my og comment but this fic was written with love for fandom and you should definitely read it too!!! you'd absolutely love it! (also ben stans rise up ^^)
fics to sink your teeth into (20k+)
needs must by @melthemagpie (98k+, au)
When Grammy needs an upgrade in care, Mike knows that the usual one-off gig as a paid submissive won't be enough. He takes a job he's been refusing for a while - a long-term, full-time contract. He expects his client to be a sadistic asshole. He expects not to like it. He's wrong on both counts.
this is a fandom classic, every fic rec has this on the list (cw for dom/sub and prostitution, so if you're uncomfy please dont read) but i swear there are so many romantic moments in this one that make me swoon and the smut is very good, i usually tap out in long fics really quickly but this hooked me the whole way through twice. thats my ringing endorsement, READ THIS
Lobster and Other Catastrophes by @andthetardis (21k, canon-compliant)
After months of silence, Mike starts texting Harvey again out of the blue. Funny thing to do on his honeymoon, really.
BRO PLEASE. this was so good. angsty and pining-y enough even though it's mostly a text fic. text fics to me are more like comedic, but this one had substance and heart (and funny and enjoyable btw). pulls you in and really makes you want to stick it out and get to the beautiful ending <333 (harvey being soft is probably a category on its own :3)
The Game by @frivoloussuits (27k, hunger games au)
Harvey Specter and Donna Paulsen are efficient and elegant killers. They have trained since childhood, mentored personally by Jessica Pearson and marked for years as District 1's Tributes for the Hunger Games. Mike Ross is an orphan from District 12, a drug dealer, and an underage gambler. After years of scrutinizing the Hunger Games on TV to make savvy bets, he finds himself on the wrong side of the camera, now playing the odds just to survive. Harvey and Mike cannot, should not trust each other. Still, they strike a backroom deal.
"Because he’s clever and quick-thinking and he’s learned her main lesson well– don’t love anyone you wouldn’t be willing to see dead. Ideally, don’t love anyone at all."
I READ THIS WHEN I WAS REVISITING HUNGER GAMES AND OHHHHH THIS HAS THE ANGST. absolutely riveting. ths is the third fic im reccing from them bc i love frivoloussuits. i would die for them HHFSHFHKSDGDHFG i love the angst and the life-threatening situations that the hunger games provide and harvey as a career is correct. its just correct. everything here grips my soul
Disaster Stories by agatestones (22k, canon-compliant)
"Hold on," Mike asked, "you made Donna come into work in the middle of a blizzard?" "I don't make Donna do anything. Haven't you learned by now?" Harvey gave Mike a mean little smile, but under that was relief for anyone to see. "You, I can make come into the office in a blizzard."
reads like a novella to me, and it's really good!!! very episodic and you really feel like these are things that have happened in universe. its very slice of lifey and i reread it a lot as a comfort read, its like a big hug to me
Pizza and a Movie by Closer (30k+, au)
In an alternate universe, Harvey's still a lawyer but Mike's not a pot runner -- he's a deliveryman for Rollo's Pizza and Ribs, which happens to be Harvey's favorite pizza place. Once Harvey finds out his pizza guy is a genius, Mike's life takes a few turns he would not have expected...
i swear this is the most rom-commy fic marvey has to offer. i like aus that slap me in the face more with the alternate universe, but this is such a rom-com plot. fandom classic as well and it really reads like a hugh grant 90s movie and if thats not enough to pull you in idk what will tbh
Imprimatur by Closer (22k, au)
Mike was raised to believe Imprint was a life-changing event for those few lucky enough to experience it. Harvey was raised to believe it was a form of mental illness. When it actually happened, neither of them noticed.
this goes absolutely crazy. one of those fics where you read it and you almost want to throw your phone at the wall because the characters could make it so easy if they werent so stupid (but in a good way of course) but the way it was written, you feel the depth of the soulmate bond and why its so important (which a lot of soulmate aus forget to do loll) but goes down like an expensive and delicious dinner :)
afternoon reads (10k+)
Sony SRF-39FP by @frivoloussuits (11k+, canon-adjacent)
Anita Gibbs won’t settle for Mike, not when there are name partners within her reach. She offers only one deal– two years, no other charges against anyone else in the firm, as long as Harvey Specter turns himself in. And even as Donna and Jessica and Louis and Mike beg him not to, he jumps on the grenade. “Time to get busy living or get busy dying,” he remarks, and Mike gives a small chuckle. Then Harvey smirks, straightens his suit jacket, and strides into FCI Danbury.
“I can’t believe they’re trying to lock you in a box and forget about you,” Mike sighs as he leaves.
“Well, as long as you don’t forget me, I figure I’ll survive.”
“Maybe you haven’t noticed, but forgetting’s never been my strong suit.
cw for depersonalization and desc of solitary confinement, very very heavy but the way mike is there throughout everything makes my heart twinge. i really dont know how to describe this fic at all but its really good. it makes me cry a lot. also made me start listening to jazz which- uh
Here at the end of all things by @tattooedsiren (10k, au)
When he arrives at the Pearson Hardman building the lights are dimmed and the floor is deserted. His feet carry him to Harvey's office even though he expects it to be empty. Because Harvey probably fled the city via helicopter or teleporter or sheer force of will. But when he approaches the office he can see that Harvey is there. He has moved the couch so that it now faces the floor to ceiling windows and Mike silently sits beside Harvey, joins him in looking down at the chaos engulfing the city below. [Apocalypse AU]
I LOVE APOCALYPSE FICS UP UP UP badass!harvey makes me bark, but im a really big fan of people who find happiness in the worst circumstances and this fic does it so so so well. reminds me a lot of tlou episode like 2? the one with the strawberries. please this is what i revisit when i miss marvey and i dont have a lot of time because the world and the characters are jsut so delicious!!!
quick reads (1k+)
This Love is Silent by kim47 (8k, canon-compliant)
She should have known. She had known, that something was off, at least. She knew he was hiding something. She just never imagined it could be this. Despite Harvey's warnings, Mike tells Rachel the truth about everything. She's shocked, naturally, and more than a little angry, but she agrees to keep his secret, and even to date him. So when they break up, Harvey goes into damage-control mode.
RACHEL!! HELLO RACHEL!! im always up for smart and discerning rachel (this shows up in of all the gin joints too btw!!!) this runs realistic to me because it shows that rachelxmike arent some hopelessly wrong for each other couple, they have good and bad times. this feels more real to me than other fics bc its not like the world conspires for marvey to be apart, its just life. i know this makes it sound so sad, and it is, but trust me: this is really really really good i love this so much
an archive of harvey specter's expressions by @frivoloussuits (2k, canon-compliant)
Five old expressions that Mike rediscovers in new contexts once he and Harvey are (finally) together, and one that he sees for the first time. Alternatively titled “An Ode to Gabriel Macht’s Face.”
this was written for me. this is literally me. writing fic because gabriel macht is too pretty, like this fic is literally for me. a lot of peering at him to get this fic as masterfully written as it is, and i thank you author everyday for it. to me, this reads like it's been written with love and care and true adoration (Truly, like Mike)
Coffee-Cart Client Privilege by @frivoloussuits (7k, au)
Mike runs a coffee cart. The coffee cart.
"Why not? They're too big and dense to be a snack." So are you, Mike thinks, and yet.
IM SORRY I KEEP RECCING FRIVOLOUS SUITS THEYRE MY FAVOURITE WRITER IN THIS FANDOM HFBKABFDKHFBHKDSA this has the hand-wavy logic the show has itself but mike's internal monologue in this one is one of the best ive ever read and the way mike's integrated in the offices is just so well-done ahhhh
Objection by yeah its frivoloussuits again i feel bad tagging them like 7 times (2k, canon-adjacent)
When Mike announces he’s leaving, Harvey plans to hide the jagged pieces of his broken heart deep inside, where no one will ever find them. His heart would like to object.
BIGG fan of physical hurt/comfort!!!! also big fan of people absolutely freaking out in the hospital in fics, it makes me bounce of the wall!! very short but the angst and love really hits you quick and leaves you on the floor gasping for air. very good (also cant prove this but im very sure this is a scrubs reference.t hanks)
Excerpts From The Gospel of Harvey Specter, edited by Michael "Forever Awesome" Ross, 2011, 1st Ed, by @rcmclachlan (7k, canon compliant)
Mike can totally read people. Well, most people. Some people. Or maybe just Harvey, who's pretty much an open book.
this one's really funny! it doesent follow direct prose and instead plays a lot with the setting its in (where mike's a documenter of harvey) and its just so funny and adorable. has a lot of heart too, it isn't just crack or anything but you really feel everything mike does as he writes all this, read this!!1
One More Sleepless Night by @sal_si_puedes (9k, au)
Soul Bonds are one-sided – there’s usually mutual affection, but only one party feels the crippling need to be together as often as possible. If separated at length from their love, that party becomes crushed by longing, panic, and sheer hopelessness, and so it is illegal to forcibly keep Soulmates apart. Some days, Harvey Specter hates the Bond that skews his judgement and weakens his resolve, and he fears what would happen if anyone in his world ever discovers he is so compromised. He certainly never planned to disclose the Bond for the first time in the middle of Anita Gibbs’ office, in a last-ditch attempt to invalidate the deal sending Mike to prison.
HSDGFHSDKGHRLKGHK THIS FIC. i love fics that use more than just prose to tell their stories (see above fic) and this does my favourite thing that soulmate aus do, which is where they integrate in-universe explanations for the phenomenon. the amount of work and dedication put into this fic makes it absolutely sing and was absolutely lovely!!
also pspspsps
golden like the daffodils by @mini-mart (2k, canon-compliant)
Poetry holds meaning, for anyone who reads it. It obscures and dances around the literal and metaphorical, because it’s imbued with so much of something that it overflows out of any definition. It can make someone mad, or lovesick, or aroused, and the reactions would be absolutely warranted. Mike is poetry, to Harvey. - Harvey Specter could be a good politician, as he believes in pragmatism over poetry. He won't let his progress fall apart, won't let someone knock it down. And then someone unceremoniously cracks open a suitcase at his feet. Or: Harvey, pretty boys and poetry.
yeah yeah i wrote this yeah yeah self promo smth smth
there's a lot more that isn't here but i'll probably write a new one when i go for a deep dive through the ship tags again :3
^^ ao3 etiqutte applies! if you like the fic, kudos and comment and bookmark!! show your love! happy reading marveys! my gift to u :3
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slamminslamminmcgill · 2 months ago
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all im saying is ✨Logan with a knot✨ and Wade overstimulating you bc you cant get away -🦐
shrimp anon more like shrimp COLORS bro your vision is INSANE!!!!!!
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soooo idk conventional a/b/o rules and i kinda don't care so im picturing a heat cycle as once a month endeavour. and bc you're on T you're a HORNY motherfucker and you're angry and violent so it's basically whoever can get their hands on you or knot in you first will take care of you. then as long as you get bred at least once you're fine. then you calm down and it's big aftercare hours bc your post-heat clarity endorphins are going CRAZY
now since your heat only comes once a month, wade treats it as a special occasion. and it wouldn't be fair of him to do the honors EVERY month, now would it?
so even though he's home with you, and logan's not, and won't be for a while, wade wilson will refuse to fuck you. it's not his turn. he did it last month.
and your heat is MISERABLE. imagine the worst period cramp you ever had, combined with hot flashes, searing rage, and it gives your cunt the sensitivity of a fucking bear trap. you'll clamp down on anything that touches you.
so no matter how much you suffer. no matter if you scream, cry, beg, grovel, bite, or commit acts of gratuitous violence against him.
he will hold out.
he will hold out until logan gets home and finds you naked, cuffed to the bed by your hands and ankles, a chewy ball-gag in your mouth getting crushed by your gritting teeth, and wade's holding a wand vibrator to your cunt.
he waves gayly at logan, "hey pinkie pie, merry christmas! wanna come open your gift?"
"jesus christ, are you fucking torturing him?! the hell is wrong with you?!"
"with ME?! where's your holiday spirit?"
logan just stares at him blankly, puzzled by what this psychotic dipshit could possibly be talking about. in response, and in the spirit of the season, wade sings him a song.
"🎼it's the mooost wonderful tiiiiime, of the mooonth~!🎵"
now he gets it.
"oh... okay. so then why did you tie him down like that?"
"well, we had a little INCIDENT earlier..."
--
you had managed to grab one of wade's guns and shot him in the chest
"OW!!! you RESOURCEFUL little shit!!! GRRR, oh~ mysweetboybabydarling i'msoproudofyou, butnoi'mnot, BAD BOY!!!"
--
"no, i mean why didn't you take care of him your-fucking-self, wilson? you really gotta make this my problem as soon as i walk in the fuckin' door?"
"your PROBLEM?! i hand you some prime-time, limited-edition, hot and bothered, ripe for the breeding, tranny boy BUSSY on a silver platter, and that's somehow NOT where your dick wants to spend its evening? am i hearing that right? please tell me i'm not. please tell me you're not this stupid, pookie bear."
instead of arguing back, logan goes quiet. he's thinking. and then, he laughs. that low, husky laugh that you have when you're marveling at the nerve of whatever dumb motherfucker is talking to you. or maybe, when that dumb motherfucker is making a point.
"heh... y'know what? fine." logan angrily strips his clothes off, one by one. his tanktop, "you want me to be the one to knot him? huh?" his belt, his jeans "can't do anything yourself, can ya?" and lastly, his boxers. then he grabs his cock and shakes it at wade.
"so then get me hard, you faggot." he clicks his tongue twice. "c'mon."
wade throws himself at logan's knees and gives him that gawkgawk4000turbotyphoon treatment to get him up. logan sighs in relaxation, grateful that wade was putting his mouth to such better use. once his eyes flutter open, he nods at you, finally giving you even a modicum of attention while you're under intense distress, and he merely waves at you nonchalantly, like how a pedestrian does to a car that lets him cross.
"hang tight, bub. be with ya in a second."
wade works him over until his knot is just barely starting to swell. he then takes his fattened cock and slaps wade across the face with it.
"take his chains off."
"hm... are you sure you want me to do that, princess? he's feisty, y'know. might get yourself bit, if you're not careful."
logan slaps wade again, but this time it's a bitchslap, using the back of his hand. and his claws.
"take. his fucking. chains off."
"mmm, right AWAY, your majesty~!"
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intrepidacious · 2 years ago
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almost believing
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summary: You and Bucky aren't exactly on speaking terms at the moment. That doesn't mean you're getting out of having to pretend to be married for a mission.
pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader
word count: 5.4k
warnings: miscommunication dialled up to eleven bc it's me; friends to lovers with lots of seething in between; set around christmas, but not a christmas fic; slight spoiler warning for wakanda forever just to be safe
please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.
prompt: fake dating, baby 😌 title and initial inspiration for this fic were taken from "so close" from enchanted. yes. that scene.
a/n: this was written for my wonderful tiff's sweet as sugar writing challenge!! @traitorjoelite i'm so proud of you and i hope you enjoy this fic. i really thought this one would be short i swear. big shoutout and thank you to @sweetascanbee for listening to me rant about this for weeks, i appreciate you so much!!
masterlist | read on ao3
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Here’s the thing: It’s supposed to be a simple mission. Just gathering intel at the hotel for one single night, the two of you pretending that everything is fine for a couple of hours more.
After all, it’s Bucky’s last mission with you before his reassignment goes through.
Well, it’s not like it’s going to make a difference to how much you’re seeing him, to be honest.
You’re not sure when he started making himself rare or why, but once you noticed it, it was impossible not to.
"Sorry, I’m heading out," when you ask him to grab lunch together seems inconspicuous enough, as does, "Ah, I’m already supposed to meet Sam," when you try asking him about that trip to IKEA you’d been talking about for ages.
But it doesn’t stop there. One excuse follows the next, and suddenly there’s always something more important than the two of you hanging out.
Of course, you try to rationalize it at first. Swallow down your hurt feelings, because Bucky is your friend, and sometimes people just need space. You’re fine. The two of you are fine.
Once he starts scheduling dates for Friday night, though—which has always been movie night, always, every week since you met him—you know that something’s wrong.
"Is he angry with me?" you keep asking Steve, who looks very uncomfortable and definitely knows what's going on.
"Just give him a little space," he suggests timidly. So you do. You let the whole thing go.
For like a week.
"I just don’t know what I did," you tell Sam over drinks, your head held in your hands.
"Nope," he answers, downing his dregs. "I’m not doing this. Nuh-uh."
"You know, too?" you cry, accusingly pointing at him.
"I don’t know anything," Sam deadpans. And then he puts his scarf on and leaves.
"Maybe try talking to Bucky about it?" Natasha suggests, either incapable of hiding her amused smile or unwilling to try.
"I would if I ever saw him for longer than a 'hi, how are you' at the gym," you mumble. Fact is, you’re getting pissed about him giving you the silent treatment without even knowing what you did wrong.
Because before this, whatever this is, things were fine. Great, even. Free afternoons were spent on each other’s couches, introducing him to your favorite tv shows and letting him teach you that stupid card game he loves so damn much. You’d even been starting to imagine that there might be something …
Clearly, you were wrong.
Now, you can’t even look at him without your throat closing up. It’s like you woke up a few weeks ago and he’s become an entirely different person around you, much more like he was at the beginning of your friendship, distant and cold.
He didn’t even tell you that he’d signed up for a transfer.
The mission call feels like your last chance.
A whole evening of teamwork and espionage, of him basically having no other choice than talking to you and finally telling you why the fuck he would get himself reassigned without even telling you beforehand. You could’ve hugged Fury for the opportunity.
That is, until you’re handed the file containing your fake identities for the op a few hours before you’re supposed to leave.
"You’re joking," you say as soon as you open the door.
"Great, you’re here as well," Steve says dryly. "Again, a) you both gotta learn how to knock, b) the whole thing wasn’t my idea or my decision, but I also think it’s the best directive for what you’re trying to do, and c) no, there’s no one else available for the mission. Anything I missed?"
Bucky deliberately doesn’t meet your eye, his arms still crossed as he stares Steve down with a look you can’t decipher. He doesn’t even acknowledge you standing in the door, but his foot is doing the tapping thing again.
You purse your lips and join the staring.
Steve sighs, rubbing his temples with the palms of his hands. "Listen, you two work well together and I know these past few weeks have been … strained"—you almost laugh at that—"but it’s just one night."
"We need to pretend we’re married," you say. "How’re we going to pull that off if he can’t stand being in the same room as me?"
"I trust that there won’t be any issues." Steve raises an eyebrow at Bucky as he says that, but of course he doesn’t get a reply. That would necessitate talking in your presence.
"One night," Bucky repeats through gritted teeth.
Not for the first time, there seems to be some sort of silent conversation between the two of them that you’re not privy to. You roll your eyes.
"I’ll see you later."
You leave with your back straight and without a glance over your shoulder, the door slamming shut behind you.
For a moment, you’re tempted to barge into Natasha’s office next, but you have a feeling like she’d just give you another one of her looks again, which really won’t better your mood. So instead, you slam another door and flop onto your bed, blankly staring at the ceiling for a while.
Surely, there’s some twisted sort of irony in this whole situation, but you’re not laughing.
Usually, before a mission, you’d get bagels together from the bakery around the corner. You haven’t done that in a while, but you’re still quietly begging your phone to show a new unread message when you look at the time however long later.
Instead, there’s just your lockscreen picture of Bucky’s grinning face that you can’t bear to get rid off, no matter how many times it stings you. It’s almost a year old, now, back when you’d taken him to go do your holiday shopping with you, insisting that "no one’s gonna recognize you, look at that great cap you’re wearing".
It’d started snowing halfway through the afternoon, and he’d kept reaching for your hand in order not to lose you in the crowd. You both gave up halfway through your list and just went to get coffee instead, strolling through Central Park and talking about nothing and everything.
That’s when you’d realized you'd been falling in love with him, laughing and fingers freezing around your paper cup, a strange new warmth spreading throughout your body.
You need to change your lockscreen.
***
Half an hour before pick-up, you leave your room with a duffle bag slung over your shoulder and almost run into Bucky. He’s leaning against the opposite wall like he’s been waiting for you, and it stings because that’s what he always used to do, back when you were still talking. When you could still pretend that maybe, just maybe, your feelings weren’t quite so hopeless.
Now, though, his easy smile is missing. Instead, an ever-present frown is furrowing his brows again, his mouth opened just a little, but nothing comes out.
"Look, I don’t want to do this any more than you do," you sigh. "But it’s a two-person job."
He nods, his tongue poking his cheek. "I know."
"Do you think you’re gonna be alright with us pretending we’re madly in love for a whole evening?"
Bucky’s jaw tightens. "I’ll be fine."
Of course he’s going to be fine.
You grab the strap of your bag more tightly. "I wish you would just tell me what I did."
"You didn’t do anything." If he’s telling the truth, though, why does he look so numb?
For a moment, you want to shout at him, cry, beg, make him tell you when and how this went wrong, but you don’t. You just stare at him in silence, hoping he’ll get it anyway, and he refuses to notice it.
"So," Bucky finally says. "You ready to get hitched?"
There’s the ghost of a grin in his eyes, and even though it’s not enough to mask the uncomfortable tilt of his shoulders, you sigh. At least he’s trying, you suppose.
"Let’s just get fake-married so we can fake-divorce and go our separate ways," you say, walking past him.
"I’ve got something for you."
You turn around again, raising your eyebrows as he holds up a ring between the fingers of his left hand. There’s a giant stone set in its center, striking and sparkling and not subtle in the slightest. Tony really went all out for appearance’s sake. Your fingers involuntarily tighten around the strap of your bag.
Bucky drops the ring in the palm of your hand.
"Quite the present," you chuckle nervously. You don’t even want to know how much this thing costs, and you feel like they're going to chop off your head if something happens to it.
"Try it on, then."
It’s a bit too large on your finger, and it feels foreign. It’s not you at all. Then again, it’s not supposed to be you.
Before you can say anything, though, Bucky shakes his head. "What?" you say with a roll of your eyes.
"That couldn’t look more fake if you tried. Wait a sec."
He turns his back towards you and rummages through his bag for a while, his jaw still set as he holds out his hand once more. With a sigh, you pull the ring off again and return it, but before you can pull your hand back, he catches it in his own.
This one slides onto your finger perfectly, and your eyes widen at the sight of it. It’s a lot subtler, with only a small emerald for decoration, but it’s so delicate and beautiful it takes your breath away.
Bucky’s mouth opens and closes, but he swallows whatever came to his mind. "That’s better," he says instead, and his voice sounds oddly rough.
"They gave you a backup?" you say, angling your hand this way and that to see how the gem catches the light.
"Mhm."
Something is off about this whole situation, but then you feel like you don’t really know Bucky anymore. Not like you used to, anyway. It used to be so easy to get a read on him.
You stand there in silence for a moment, and it’s only then that both of you realize he’s still holding your hand. He drops it immediately, and you pretend it doesn’t sting.
"How come you don’t get a ring?" you ask.
"Says who?" Bucky says, clearing his throat and activating the camouflage sleeve Tony had installed for his arm. Sure enough, there’s a ring on his hand as well.
You grab his hand curiously. When you touch it, there’s no difference between his fingers and the pseudo-platinum band, all of it just cool vibranium in disguise.
"It’s fake," you say. "It’s not the same."
"No," he agrees and pulls his hand away. "Looks real enough, though."
You notice the red splotches on his neck and wonder what it is that you’ve said this time, but it’s pointless anyway. He’s not going to tell you even if you asked.
Maybe you should be used to him icing you out by now, but it still hurts.
***
"Yes, Steve, I know," you sigh. "We’re just gathering intel, nothing else."
"I just wanted to have you say it again so we’re all clear. You both love taking risks when it’s not necessary."
"Alright, punk, we got it," Bucky says, tugging at his tie again.
You can’t even blame him for the nervous habit; you’ve been twisting your fake wedding ring around your finger for the entire drive.
This isn’t the first time the two of you had to go undercover as a couple; hell, it’s not even the first time you’ve pretended to be married. Usually, though, you could have a laugh about the whole thing together.
Now you barely know how to act around Bucky as yourself, let alone as some made up woman.
"I think we’re going to attract a lot of attention if we don’t get out soon," you say, readjusting the collar of your blouse underneath your coat.
You notice Steve staring at your hand for a moment, a frown between his brows, but his lips curve upwards a split second later. "Ready to do this?" he asks and you smile a little in confirmation.
Bucky takes another breath and then he nods curtly. "Let’s go."
The change that goes through him as soon as the two of you climb out of the car is so stark you almost turn on your heels again and beg Steve to let you off the hook, after all. His hand sneaks around your waist and pulls you closely into his side as you walk towards the hotel, all soft smiles and charm.
"Sorry for the holdup," he tells the bellman waiting next to your bags with a wink. "The missus and I just needed another minute."
You lightly slap Bucky’s chest in fake indignation. It’s quick thinking on his part, really.
When you’re checking in under your assumed names for the evening, he keeps his arm around you, and the content look stays in his eyes. A subtle glance at your surroundings tells you some of your persons of interest have already arrived early for the event tonight, looking around the sparkling lobby with the same feigned boredom.
Bucky nudges your cheek with his nose and then smiles again when you look at him. It makes your brain shut off for a moment.
When he looks at you like this, it’s so easy to forget the past couple of months and just pretend for a moment. What if there was no mission at all, and it could simply be the two of you?
But of course, that’s not possible. All of it is fake, including the way he looks at you. You know that.
So how come it doesn’t feel fake to you at all?
***
You hate this dress, you hate these people, you hate this dinner, and most of all, you hate how much you enjoy spending this much time so physically close to Bucky.
It feels so natural when he links your hand with yours, so fucking meant to be, even though he’s just putting on a show for the band of creeps you’re tasked to keep an eye on.
But damn if he’s not good at it.
It’s amazing, really, how his eyes immediately soften when you turn your head towards him, like you’re the only person in the whole room. He looks at you during this charade like you wish he’d look at you daily, even far from prying eyes around you; especially then. It makes your breath shorten, your heart pounding erratically because it thinks it’s getting everything it’s ever hoped for.
Hearts are often stupid like that.
A full night of glances and touches and the pretence of secret whispers will do all kinds of twisted things to your feelings.
There’s a lull in the conversation, and when Bucky squeezes your hand you realize he’s no longer the only one who’s looking at you.
You chuckle nervously. "I’m sorry, I got … distracted for a moment. What were you saying?"
"Ah, newlyweds," one of the investor goons laughs. He’s a particularly vile looking man whose suit is way too big on his spindly limbs.
Bucky, academy award winning actor in another lifetime, chuckles politely while the fondness in his eyes seems to increase tenfold. "We’ve been married three years, actually," he says, sticking to your official cover story.
It’d been Tony’s idea to keep your fake timeline as close to the truth as possible to avoid any slip-ups. It’s a great move on paper, really, but in reality it just adds another nail to the coffin.
Three years ago, you were on a mission in Brussels, only the second one ever where it was just the two of you. It was mostly surveillance, so one of you usually had downtime while the other kept lookout. It became customary that you’d entertain each other during those long hours, getting to know each other intimately for the first time, taking the first tentative steps towards the friendship you now share.
That mission was the groundwork of your falling in love with him in the first place.
"You seem to be doing something right if you’re both still so enamoured with each other," Spindly Arms says.
"I’m the luckiest guy in the world," Bucky responds, still looking into your eyes. "It’s hard not to do the right thing, then."
He presses a kiss to your cheek and you smile timidly. His lips linger for just a moment, and then he moves to whisper into your ear, something you’re sure looks like sweet nothings to everybody else but is actually a, "Don’t fall asleep on me."
You tilt your head, shove him teasingly as if he’d said something inappropriate, and because he’s always been quick to catch on he winks, obvious enough so that the other people that are part of this conversation can clearly see it.
It’s not long after this that you excuse yourselves, walking around the room with apparent aimlessness. Everything is sparkling with pure gold decorations and countless little twinkling lights that have been scattered around the room like millions of fireflies. You spot an actual orchestra right underneath the massive Christmas tree.
"Kind of tacky, don’t you think?" Bucky murmurs with a sideway glance at you.
"Maybe a little," you say.
The truth is, though, the room looks oversaturated and expensive and magnificent. Something straight out of a Hallmark movie, more like a movie set than a real place.
It’s the one thing that keeps this whole thing from being completely unbearable.
He must have seen the truth in your eyes, because he ducks his head and says quietly, "I’m gonna go check out the terrace."
You just nod and smile as he kisses your cheek again and then vanishes through the crowd with a few long strides. Sighing, you take another drink from the tray a waiter offers you, absent-mindedly rubbing your cheek.
"What a lovely surprise," a voice says next to you and you freeze for a moment before forcing yourself to calmly take a sip. "Miss … Winter, was it?"
"Mrs," you say with a pleasant smile. "Good evening, Director."
"Right, of course." Director de Fontaine eyes her martini warily. "I don’t suppose these olives are fresh, do you?"
Your mind is racing. If she’s here on official business, then your entire operation might be compromised.
"So," she continues, looking rather bored. "Met any interesting people yet, Mrs Winter?"
"Oh, yes," you say lightly, clinging to your role of unassuming young wife. "It’s all rather exciting."
"I’m sure. These kinds of events are all very … shiny." She looks into your eyes and there’s an almost explicit warning written in hers. "It’s surprisingly easy to get blinded."
You swallow heavily even as she smiles. "If you’ll excuse me, I think I see someone …"
You quickly walk over to the buffet table where some of the wives have formed a semi circle of gossip, trying your best to hide your sigh of relief when the director doesn’t follow you.
For a few minutes, you lose yourself in pointless gossip, until one of the women takes hold of your forearm.
"You must tell us, what’s your secret?"
"Excuse me?" you chuckle nervously.
"Your husband!" she exclaims, earning a few nods from some of the others. "He clearly adores you," she goes on. "I don’t think he’s looked away from you once since you joined us."
You steal a look around your shoulder. She’s right. Bucky’s gaze immediately locks with yours, an almost bashful grin on his lips. You caught me, his eyes seem to say, and you feel a rush of heat go through you.
He should be nominated for an Oscar with this performance.
Quickly, you turn around again to meet several expectant pairs of eyes.
"I don’t know what to tell you," you say. "He’s just … always been like this. I mean, he’s my best friend. I really don’t know what I would do without him."
There’s not a word of a lie in what you’re saying, and it elicits a round of coos and murmurs even as your heart gives a sharp pang.
"Dance with me?"
You flinch, turning to look at Bucky’s outstretched hand, at the sad, hopeful look in his eyes, and the line between reality and fiction blurs a bit more.
You take his hand, and he pulls you onto the dance floor, some cheery Christmas song ramping up to its big finale. Then, the band switches to a slower song. To you, it sounds mournful.
"That was nice," Bucky mutters into your ear. "What you said."
"I meant it, you know," you whisper, but he turns, and you don’t think he’s heard you.
Bucky places his hand on your hip and you hide a shudder. His gloved fingers wrap around yours, and then you start moving again.
You barely know the steps, but he’s a great leader, and he doesn’t say anything when you step on his toes. In fact, his gaze softens even more when he looks at you after the third time, the hand around your waist pulling you a little closer.
"How are you doing this?" you say without stopping to smile.
"Easy," Bucky says, and the way he says it almost makes you believe it’s true.
You bite your lip, trying to stop yourself from breathing him in. "I didn’t mean the dancing."
With the last note of the song, you stumble over his foot again and he snorts. "Me neither."
The melody changes and neither of you lets go. His steps are getting slower, smaller, like he’s just trying to keep both of you in motion. Your head is spinning. The twinkling lights are starting to blur into a great mass of stars in the background, like you’re at the center of a music box and everything else is just background noise.
You wrap both hands around his neck as you’re swaying, then, your foreheads only inches apart. You could stay in this moment forever, you think, as it stretches into blissful infinity. Somewhere, a clock strikes ten.
Bucky leans in a little closer and your breath hitches again.
"It’s time," he whispers, and your eyes fly open.
You’d almost forgotten about the mission.
"Val is here," you say quietly.
His expression hardens for just a second. "What?"
"She came to talk to me earlier. She knows we’re here."
"Why didn’t you say something?"
"I … There wasn’t time."
"We’re just gonna have to be quick and discrete."
You open your mouth, but then you see the distance close in again between you two, and so you just nod.
The plan is almost laughably simple, but it’s probably going to work out just as you’ve laid out beforehand. Everyone in the room has watched the two of you staring at each other for the past couple of hours, so no one bats an eye when Bucky nudges you gently and you make your way up the stairs to the fancy elevator that’s going to take you up to a bedroom.
Or, more specifically, to a bedroom that’s being used to store all kinds of evidence, but no one else needs to know that little detail.
You notice the director talking to Spindly Arms and a couple of other people, but you force your gaze not to linger on her. Instead, you grab Bucky’s hand more tightly.
He lets go of you as soon as the elevator doors close behind the two of you, dragging a hand through his hair and messing it up. There aren’t any cameras in the elevator, but you’re both pretty sure there will be on the floor you’re going. "CIA exposure, that’s exactly what we needed."
"There was nothing I could’ve done," you say, tugging your sleeves down your shoulders.
"I’m not blaming you, sweetheart," Bucky says distractedly, loosening his tie. Your heart makes a very heavy thud. "But if Walker shows up tonight as well, I’m gonna shoot first and ask questions later."
"No, you won’t," you say with a grin, mostly because you know he didn’t bring his gun because the male attendees were all frisked at the entrance.
"Maybe I’ll throw a knife. I could say it was an accident."
The conversation lasts barely a moment, but it reminds you so much of what the two of you used to be, it hurts.
You follow him stumbling out of the elevator onto the right floor with a breathless laugh. There’s no one in sight as you subtly check the room numbers before making him follow you with a coquettish smile for the security camera.
You find the right door without much trubble, pulling the keycard out of your inconvenient little handbag. "Come on now," you murmur as the lock rejects it at the first try.
Suddenly, Bucky’s hand is on your waist again, and you gasp as he spins around. The keycard drops to the floor.
He presses you against the wall, effectively trapping you in his embrace. Your hands are laid flat against his chest, his heart thundering madly underneath your fingertips. Bucky’s eyes flit around madly, like he’s trying to come up with something on the spot and, for the first time since you’ve known him, is left without ideas.
You gasp as his nose brushes against yours.
"Sorry," he whispers hoarsely. And then he kisses you.
Your body responds immediately, lighting a fire in your core as his lips press against yours, hungry, gentle, almost apologetic. You can taste the champagne on his tongue.
You arch your back against him on instinct as his hands travel down your arms, brushing your hips, your tighs, slowly parting your dress at the slit. Your eyes fly open the moment you realize what he’s doing, even though he swallows your gasp.
In one smooth motion, he pulls the I.C.E.R. out of the garter on your thigh and fires a single, silenced shot. The guy with the earpiece barely has the time to grunt before he sacks against the opposite wall, unconscious, his hand still in the pocket of his jacket.
"Fuck," you hiss, pushing Bucky away from you. He stumbles slightly, the gun loose in his fingers. His eyes are almost black as he blinks at you. "You could have told me we’re being shadowed."
Bucky’s mouth is stained from your lipstick, and the sight of that alone makes your head swim. You can still feel the ghost of his hand on your leg.
"It’d have blown our cover," he replies, infuriatingly calm. "Hate me later, our window has just narrowed by a bit."
You swallow, blinking to try and gain control over your breath again, grabbing your gun back with a short nod. "Let’s finish this, then."
***
Back at the Compound, you both give an exhausted report about the events of the night, leaving out nothing but your improvised kiss on floor fifteen.
Your lips are still tingling with it.
Finally, you and Bucky are left alone in the briefing room, and for the first time in weeks, he doesn’t just get up and leave as soon as the silence takes hold. Instead, you both sit next to each other, staring straight ahead.
"I guess we should talk," he says slowly, reluctantly, and you can’t help it.
Your defenses shoot up again.
"I don’t know what you’re talking about," you say, squinting.
"Yes, you do." He’s lost the tie hours ago, but he keeps tugging at the fabric in his hands as if it could give him the words he’s looking for. "I shouldn’t have kissed you, not with … Not like that."
"Like you said, the guy would’ve blown our cover," you say, crossing your arms.
"Doesn’t make it right."
"What do you want me to say, Buck?" you say sharply. "That you should’ve talked to me before? Well, I’m kind of used to you not doing that anymore, so just forget it."
"Y/N—"
"No, really, it’s fine. Like I said, you’re leaving, anyway, so what does it matter. Didn’t tell me you were planning to do that, either. You just did it."
"You know why I’m leaving."
"No, I fucking don’t!" There are tears in your eyes now. "I have been trying really hard, Bucky, but you’ve just shut me out. I thought you needed space, which is fine, by the way, but you just—one day you decided you were done with me and that was it."
He stares at you incredulously. "You seriously don’t remember."
"Don’t remember what?!"
"That you were talking about me. To Natasha."
The memory rushes through you so violently it’s almost ridiculous you hadn’t thought about it in months.
You’d just come back from another undercover op, and you’d called her right as the door to your room had closed behind you because not for the first time, your feelings had threatened to spill over again.
"You should talk to him. Be honest."
"No, Nat, come on, I can’t—I can’t do that to him. I can’t risk … you know, he’s my best friend. And that’s all it can ever be. I don’t want to ruin what we have. I just wish he’d make it easier."
"You’re making excuses, you know. Both of you deserve a bit of happiness, don’t you think?"
"I tried," Bucky says now, barely looking at you. "I tried making it easier. But you’re so …"
"So what?" you ask hollowly, ignoring the fact that you can feel the tears starting to trickle down your cheeks now. "So pathetic? That’s what this is about, isn’t it? That’s why you asked for the transfer, so you can be rid of me."
"Rid of you?" Bucky starts, but you ignore him.
"You know what, Bucky, fuck you if you think my feelings for you are so much of an inconvenience that you need to leave the state. Silly me for thinking we could be adults about this."
"You’re the one who wouldn’t just tell me."
"Well, now you know anyway and I’m sure once you’re off to Cairo or wherever the fuck they’re going to send you, you can have a big old laugh about the stupid girl who fell in love with you despite the fact that—"
"Love?"
"I mean, obviously?!"
"You … you’re in love … with me?" There’s something very soft and vulnerable in Bucky’s eyes.
"Are we talking about two different phone calls?"
"I thought you hated me."
You huff incredulously. "Why would I hate you?"
"That’s why I gave you space, I thought … but then …" He grabs your hands. "Sweetheart, I’ve been in love with you for years."
It punches the air out of your lungs. "What?"
Bucky’s eyes are devastating as he looks at you, then. "I’m so sorry, I—I got it all wrong, I was just—I thought you know and you didn’t see me like that and that’s why I …"
"You …?" you say, still not quite comprehending what’s going on.
His thumb caresses your knuckles, halting when it makes contact with the ring you’re still wearing. "I'm in love with you," he says quietly.
"I don’t understand," you whisper.
"Please tell me I didn’t fuck this up completely."
This time, you’re the one to lean in.
Where your first kiss in the hallway had been feverish, this one is soft, almost unbelievably sweet, both of you still breathless with the fact that you’re allowed to do this. Finally, it feels like all the pieces are falling into place and you’re home again.
You press closer into him and Bucky smiles against your lips, pulling you in with his hands on your hips just like he did when you were dancing earlier.
The loudspeakers overhead crackle. "Alright, kids, we’re gonna break this up until you’re back in your own quarters, I don’t want to expose FRIDAY to the creation of your sex tape."
You break up with a snort.
"Fuck you, Tony," Bucky shouts, but he’s still smiling as wide as you’ve ever seen him do.
You giggle as you nudge your nose against his, curling your fingers into his hair. "That reminds me, you know."
"Of what?"
"Quick and discrete," you mumble, repeating his words from the hotel. "Title of your sex tape."
Bucky groans and shuts you up again.
(A few years later, you get the ring back.)
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happy holidays, y'all 💛 thank you for reading!! if you want to see more of my writing, check out my masterlist or follow @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications!!
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bones-of-a-rabbit · 11 months ago
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eclipse makes u a hot cocoa,, and is SMOOCHED!!!! (what happens next will shock you) ...THANKING ur ROBOT BOYFRIEND for giving u a hot cocoa GOES WRONG???? (how many kisses does it take to smother a human being???? we found out...)
aka a small late christmas gift for anyone here who likes my lil Clipsy boi,, drawing this spiraled wildly out of control bc it was only going to be the first three doodles but i was streaming it and my friends went absolutely nuts over Shy Clips Trying To Flirt U so uh. here we are i hope u like it kjsdfhsjdfhdkj
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lexirosewrites · 2 months ago
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Imagining a Steve w powers AU set in a/b/o
O!Steve has always seen/known/heard things he knows he shouldn't b able to, when he was 8 he became aware tht he could always tell when someone was lying & what truth they were trying to hide, when he was 12 he started to see things before they happened but he never had control over what he saw or when he saw it, then he turned 13 & suddenly ppl tht weren't there tht SHOULDN'T b there anymore were everywhere he looked, he started being able to hear & talk to them when he was 15, then...
will Byers goes missing & Steve knows, he KNOWS will isnt in Hawkins as they all know it, not anymore, he ditches A!Nancy & B!Tommy & A!Carol frequently to help Mrs Byers in her search, he's there when they figure out the Christmas lights ouija board, he's there when Holly wanders into Wills room, he's suddenly there when the younger party r watching Wills "body" b discovered in the quarry & he'd snuck up on them which shouldn't b possible w El & her powers, Lucas has already left but Steve speaks w such authority when he tells them tht isn't Will in the water, he's there when Mrs Byers has to identify the fake body & B!Jonathan is confused/angry at his presence, he backs up Mrs Byers when she convinced Hopper something wasn't right w the body they found, he doesn't deface the movie theater but he shows up to help w the final show down at the school, he goes w Nancy & Jonathan after learning Barb is dead (she was taken after sneaking out w Nancy to smoke weed at a bonfire at an old campground, & Nancy didn't notice bc she was too high & caught a ride home w Carol who is nicer than she presents herself to b) he still fights the demogorgon w his nail bat & is urging them back to the school but ofc El takes care of everything/disappeared before they get there
Will is found by Joyce & Hopper, while everyone celebrates, while Mike is sad abt El disappearing, while the government comes by to present them w NDAs each, steve feels like he's being watched & when he looks around he finds no one but he's never been wrong before
Steve has a heat soon after the dust settles, B!Joyce helps him is a maternal presence for him feeds him & helps him as best she can, & her mature pheromones tell Steve he is being cared for by a parent so while his heat is rough it isn't sexual just a terrible time where he needs cuddles as he runs a fever, he's lost his place in the pecking order of Hawkins High but he finds he doesn't care anymore being King used to mean safety but now he has a nail bat always nearby & a friend in Nancy & Jonathan & a parent figure in Joyce
Season 2... is a doozy, steve knows immediately A!Billy is bad news & not in a sexy way, he knows something is wrong w O!Will (will presented fully as an omega after the stress of his abduction) but his powers don't work in a way tht let's him know what EXACTLY is wrong, he sees visions of the Upside Down now & glimpses the deaths of several ppl, he knows El is back in their dimension & he makes his way to the cabin avoiding the booby traps as if he'd put them there himself, he approached Dustin first showing up at his house a moment before Dustin discovered the body of his cat, they work together to lure Dart to the junk yard, steve had known since he saw her tht Max was going to end up knowing what they know so he isn't surprised or apprehensive when she appears alongside Lucas, he defends them from the demodogs, he defends them from Billy avoiding the plate bc he sees it coming before Billy even thinks to grab it, steve keeps him distracted while Max grabs the needle & drugs him & threatens him, they burn the tunnels, season 2 concludes, again everyone is celebrating but Steve feels something not just watching him but trying to reach out to touch him, everyone in the party knows abt his powers now not the entire scope just tht he sometimes sees things before they happen
When he has a heat after all of this he's tended to by Joyce & cuddled by Dustin & Max & Lucas, sweat wiped away by Mike & Jonathan, Nancy guards his door, the pheromones of pups makes his heat more abt scenting & cuddling the young ones, El comes by when it's safe & gets cuddled & scented & isn't released till Steve falls asleep, when he falls asleep he dreams & in every dream he is in the Upside Down & someone is always there just out of sight
Season 3: Steve purposefully bombs his college applications bc he knows something STILL isn't right in Hawkins, he feels like the mall has a basement but there's no evidence of one,
A!Robin is still mean & dismissive toward him but he isn't trying to get dates anyway so all of her passive aggressive shenanigans go in one ear & out the other, he doesn't have feelings for her like Dustin suggests, he makes the eureka moment of the music seem like a moment of chance, he knows Billy isn't rlly there anymore tht ppl have been dying, & he knows what the Russians r doing as soon as the Scoops Troop sees the shady figures at the loading dock, he gives Dustin & Erica the heads up tht they'll need to get into the vents & get out, stobin still get Tortured & drugged & Dustin & Erica rescue them, stobin become platonic soulmates in the bathroom, the battle of starcourt happens, but Steve gives the adults the information they need & it ensures Hopper isn't presumed dead & gets out alive, & when they're negotiating & going over the NDAs together treating it like a pizza party, Steve not only senses someone reaching out to touch him he feels them actually brush the back of his neck
The heat he has following season 3 is probably the worst one yet not in terms of the company or care, Steve is encouraged to build a nest in the expanded & repaired cabin in a room A!Hopper had built specifically for him to move into, Joyce & Hopper take shifts caring for him as parents would, B!El didnt lose her powers but theyre weak like an atrophied muscle so she sticks to learning to cook for Steve w Joyce's help, Max presented fully as an omega after Billy's funeral & so she & Will don't leave his side unless it's to use the bathroom & he cuddles & scents Max endlessly helping calm the sadness her pheromones were leaking everywhere the 3 of them purring in rhythm, Erica comes by to get cuddled & reads to him the goosebumps books she gets from the library, B!Dustin sets up a moderate sound system in his new room tht let's him play music he likes & Dustin gets cuddled almost as much as Max & Will
Nancy/Jonathan bring him his favorite juice & sodas, Robin is the only one allowed to adjust/maintain the nest he built, Lucas & Mike presented as alphas after the stress of the mall & their instincts to protect a vulnerable member of the party r haywire in a way they haven't learned to manage yet so the adults have them take shifts btwn guarding the door to Steve's room & helping feed Steve who's become the undisputed pack omega so Steve is cared for in a way tht tells his body it doesn't need sex for this heat because he's surrounded & cared for by pack w no interesting alphas in sight
What makes this heat terrible r the dreams... he doesn't scream or thrash in his sleep but they disturb him all the same, they don't contain what if scenarios abt the past events, he's always in the Upside Down in them & there's the same human figure standing a distance away & they get closer w every dream & the scent of ichor & blood floods his nose stronger w every dream, in the dream he has before his heat breaks the figure is right behind him, caressing his neck, humming some song he doesn't recognize, & the scent is stronger than ever w the spice tht marks the figure as an alpha
Season 4 is an entirely different part of this AU tht I will send in a separate ask bc this got long but I'm not as entranced by this AU to make it an entire post lol
part 1 of 2 I suppose
part two of omega Steve with powers AU posting shortly💛
(link to part two)
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thebearer · 8 months ago
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thinking of carmen coming home to see you taking photos of a gummy smiled teddy in her easter dress and anchovy with bunny ears
this is so fuckin' cute.
i feel like easter and christmas eve are the two times carmen sucks it up and goes to mass with his family. really, it's because sugar begs him and he's like "fine whatever" and it's at sugar and pete's place. plus, when teddy comes around, they do a big easter egg hunt for the kids and she loves it so much. loves doing it with eva, nat's baby, all the other kids in the family.
carmen always gets kinda anxious because there's always a chance donna will show up. his mind's all over the place until he comes home one day. teddy is nearly three, and sooooo excited for the easter egg hunt. you'd been practicing, hiding little plastic eggs around the house, "a warm up, daddy, we're going to get the golden egg this year. aren't we teddy bear?" you'd cooed, bouncing teddy in your arms when he asked why.
he finds you in the living room, cooing and grinning while teddy smiled, in her poofy, cutesy little easter dress. "look at me, look at me! say cheeeeesseeeee!" you shook anchovy's toy in one hand, trying to snap a photo of both of them looking.
you're snapping rapidly until teddy sees carmen, face lighting up, letting go of anchovy and running towards carmen.
"you takin' easter pictures?" carmen grins.
"yeah," you nod. "i figured get them now before trying to get them on sunday. just easier."
carmen nods looking at anchovy, who is scattering around, trying to push the ears off himself. "how'd you get those on chovy?" carmen snorts.
you shrug. "he let me."
and carmen can barely believe it bc anchovy nearly mauls him if he looks at him the wrong way.
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goldenlockslo · 6 months ago
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went on another tags rant bc i am still angry 😃
love when my best friend and housemate sending me messages bitching about my girlfriend to me by accident instead of one of her friends :)))
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zegrasdrysdale · 11 months ago
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I wanted to send in a request for cole :)
Reader does yoga every morning and he wants her to teach him. It’s just something silly and cute
[ zen ] c. caufield
Tumblr media
paring : Cole Caufield x fem!reader
summary : Cole finds (Y/N) one morning doing her yoga routine and he decides he wants her to teach him some yoga
warning(s) : some suggestive comments, but a lot of flirting
author’s note : this has been sitting in my inbox since i started the christmas fic marathon and i feel bad bc i wanted to focus on that … anon, hope you enjoy :)
༺═──────────────═༻
One of her favorite things about the day is the beginning of the day. She finds it incredibly relaxing to stretch out and do some yoga before she gets her day started. It puts her in the best mood, and she never misses a day.
Today is no different.
She walks into the garage gym that she and Cole have in their Montreal home with her yoga mat, her phone, and her AirPods in her hands. The sun has just started to rise so the sky is a beautiful mix of blue, purple, and orange. There's a light haze in the air so it's the perfect vibe for a morning yoga session.
She puts on some calming instrumental music and begins to stretch out so she doesn't pull anything while she's doing some yoga.
(Y/N) takes a minute to do some deep breathing exercises before she begins her session. She feels her muscles comfortably stretch as she goes through her usual yoga poses and stretches.
It feels so good to stretch out and do some morning yoga, especially after a good night's sleep. All her tight muscles get loose, and she keeps her breathing under control.
She's in a downward dog pose when she hears the garage door open and close. She turns her head to see her boyfriend in the doorway. His eyes aren't on her face though.
"Hey, my eyes are over here, Caufield," she comments as she slowly comes out of the pose. "You're never up this early, and you usually aren't here if you are."
Cole's eyes shift to her face. "I just woke up," he replies. "I think in more than one way." (Y/N) raises her eyebrows. "Anyway, can I join in? I keep trying to and I always miss your morning sessions. I want to learn how to do yoga. The trainer keeps telling me that my muscles are too tight."
Then he smiles that Cole Caufield smile and she suddenly doesn't know how to say no. She never knows how to say no when he flashes that smile at him.
"Fine," she replies. "No funny business though."
"No idea what you mean."
She playfully rolls her eyes and disconnects her AirPods so the two of them can hear the music. The instrumental music comes from her phone, which sits between them.
Cole grabs an extra yoga mat and sets up camp beside his girlfriend. She stands beside him on her own mat and says, "Follow my lead. I'm going to pick up where I left off when you interrupted me."
He smiles and she goes back down into downward dog. Cole takes it in and mirrors what she is doing. She looks over at him and sees that he's doing it wrong. "Oh my God, Cole," she sighs. "You have to put your feet flat on the ground and straighten your legs."
When he looks over at her confused, she comes out of the pose and turns to Cole. She straightens his knees and moves his legs in so his feet are flat on the mat. She presses her hands into his lower back so his back is straight.
"Yoga is so hard, (Y/N)," Cole tell her. It sounds like he's holding in his breath.
"You need to breathe, baby," she retorts. "I can tell you aren't breathing. Deep breaths. In and out. It keeps you relaxed and will help you loosen your muscles."
She hears Cole take a deep breath in. She smiles and watches him look up at her. He mirrors her smile. “Am I doing a good job?” he asks.
(Y/N) laughs and nods. “Yeah,” she tells him. “Move into the Cobra pose like this.” She demonstrates and Cole watches her intently.
When she’s pushing her upper body up with her legs flat on the ground, Cole tries his best to mirror what she did to get to the Cobra pose.
“Push your chest out and keep your arms slightly bent,” she orders him. Cole bends his stiff arms and pushes his chest out like she told him to. “Good job, Coley.”
Cole flushes and smiles. “I have a good teacher,” he says. (Y/N) laughs and shakes her head.
“Such a flatterer,” she retorts. “Push up into downward dog then push yourself up to your feet. Time for the next pose.”
He does what she says and they both push themselves up to their feet. Cole looks over at her with his eyebrows raised like he’s asking “what’s next?” “What do you have us doing next, Miss (L/N)?” Cole asks.
“Triangle.”
“What the fuck is triangle?”
(Y/N) laughs and walks over to her boyfriend. She kicks his feet a little wider than shoulder width apart, which brings him down to her height.
Cole smiles when he meets her eyes. “Hi, baby,” he says.
“Hi, my love,” she replies with a mirrored smile. (Y/N) leans in and presses a small kiss to his lips.
They get a little distracted for a few seconds when Cole deepens the kiss. His hands come up to cup her jaw and she lets her hands fall to his waist.
She mumbles, “We’re not done yet, Coley.”
“Can’t we go do yoga in bed?” he questions as he pulls away. Not very far though because his lips still touch hers when he talks. “I know a couple of poses that’ll stretch us out really good.”
The innuendo makes her laugh and shake her head. “You know I have to finish my routine,” she tells him. “You said you wanted to join me and learn yoga. Now, bend right at the waist. Put one hand on the ground next to your right foot and put your left arm facing the sky.”
He groans and listens to her. “I’m starting to dislike yoga, (Y/N),” he pants.
“Breathe, Cole,” she reminds him. He inhales deeply and exhales.
There are a few more poses then they’re done. Cole gets all happy.
“That was actually really fun,” he tells her. “I feel loose.”
As (Y/N) rolls up her mat, she says, “You should join me on the days you are here in the morning.”
Cole blinks at her and rolls up his own mat. “That’s okay,” he replies. “It’s more of an every so often thing for me. I am really glad you found something you like and can do all the time.”
She smiles and wraps her arms around his neck. “I really enjoyed doing yoga with you so you can come here any time you want,” she states. “Maybe I’ll teach you some more poses.”
“I think I’d like that,” Cole says with a smile. “Now, can we please go take care of my little problem? Because you don’t know how much I really liked seeing you in your yoga outfit.”
With a laugh, she grabs his hand and leads him into the main house.
༺═──────────────═༻
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sevenpoyo · 1 year ago
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some brooklyn slang ik for all the ppl who wanna write for miles and kilometers‼️
feel free to add more idk everything but i i am originally from there and visit a lot this stuff i hear a lot and if you wanna add slang to ur writing this is a good place to start, not all of these brooklyn or ny exclusive but that’s where a lot of american slang starts and u prolly heard some of it b4. imma list it ne ways
don’t use like 8 of these in one sentence bc it will sound weird and i can’t really cover ny puerto rican slang or any puerto rican slang really bc my grandad is a bum so if you know some add it
the city is manhattan, not the other 4 burroughs, just manhattan, cus that’s where everything’s at
to cut ass is to roast tf out of someone , to get your ass cut is get tf roasted out of you
wyling/wilding is being outta pocket, something being absurd or crazy
yeah nah means no and nah yeah means yeah idk why they gotta make it complicated just look at the second word
good looks is like good looking out
it’s bout to be winter and i’m bout to see mad christmas fics and shit but do y’all know the proper way to describe cold ny winters?
if it’s cold as hell, it’s brick outside, not regular cold, ny winter is like nipples so hard i see em thru the bra cold
ex; “how it’s so brick outside i walk to the store wit my hair wet and it deadass got icicles in it” “yeah it’s fr brick outside today” “i’m not walkin wit u in this brick ass weather for a bacon egg and cheese?” (actual convo between my sister and me last winter break)
fronting seem kinda easy to me but is like acting or pretending i can’t explain it with out an example
“why you fronting like you wouldn’t die if they text you asking u to go out with them” “you can stop fronting like you like cars it cool if you don’t” “don’t sit there fronting like u don’t wanna dance wit me”
being tight over something is just being upset or annoyed
rj is so smart they said “We say tight bc you kinda huddle close to yourself when you tense/stressed or angry” i had no idea i just be saying it i aint know it had a reason💀 it make sm sense now.
“who got you tight like that this early in the morning?” “my momma came home tight yesterday for no reason, she threw a boot at me!” “i’m so tight this damn shift change has me working all closers this week”
jack is like claiming someone or something
i talk old as hell idk what the youths be jacking nowadays
cop is basically to get, used to be mostly 4 drugs back in the day my dad said (he don’t know why im asking him this)
“just copped me some retro 3’s” “bout to cop me a few percs in a minute”
speaking of a minute, mostly for my non americans bc that’s who get confused the most when i say this one. depending on the context this can mean a actual minute, a short time or a real long
“i’ll be back in a minute” is short “i ain’t seen y’all in a minute” is long. idk how to explain the difference besides context
bop is a good song, pretty easy but i see ppl on tiktok use it wrong
bangs/banger goes hard is kinda like bob for music but i be using it for anything fr
“this push pop is banging yo”
mad can be used normal like angry but it also means a lot or really kinda like hella ig? i usually uses hella when i would say mad so ppl can understand me easier up here
dumb also mean very in the same way
ex; “my english teacher give out mad homework for no reason.” “she be giving me mad shit over the smallest stuff” “i just had some mad good wings so i’m cooling rn” “this shit is mad spicy u sure you want some?” ''This shit got me dumb tight'' “you don’t need no jacket it’s dumb hot out here”
smacked is like high as fuck idk how to elaborate ur just high
lit is drunk
“Yuuuur!'' A signal, a greeting usually used to catch the attention of someone or something very fun greeting and very hated by schools, it’s weird anywhere outside of ny kinda at least to me.
being hollywood means u get a little fame and think ur all that or just that u got a little fame and they’re jokingly hating
ex; “i saw u on the news the other day, “the prowlers return” u must be real proud of yourself huh hollywood?” “and here comes hollywood wit his trending tiktoks”
real talk is when ur about confess something or say something serious in a not real serious setting or convo
“real talk we play a lot but i love you, my life would be boring with out you around” “real talk i’d never do that to you foreal”
go together is like go out kinda, y’all kinda match behavior cus y’all a couple, this one need a sentence 2 i think. (THIS ONE IS OLD AS HELL ONLY USE IT IF UR TRYING TO RIZZ MOMMA RIO)
“he want ur number? he don’t know we we go together or sum?” “why she wanna act like we go together, ion even know her?” “don’t we go together?”
i can’t even explain it with a sentence y’all just gotta figure this one out 💀
A bodega/deli is a convenience store ik most know this from the movie but some ppl think it’s all stores or all spanish stores when it’s just a corner store
the owners of the deli closest to my granddad house is muslim. and so we keep track of all muslim holidays when he’s closed
an ock is the bodega man, miles knows the man’s name at the deli we see him visit, but at any other store he’d call the guy ock
dipping on someone is changing ur mind last minute, usually canceling plans
ex “we was supposed to go get outfits together but they dipped on me last minute”
staticky is like wanting to fight or still being pissed after a fight
static is beef or on sight energy
you good can really be anything but imma list ones i can think of
it can mean like are you ok? or don’t worry about it, or how are you, or stop, or do you got a issue? or do you want an issue? it’s all in the tone of how it’s said fr
'Word of my moms/dads I saw/ did/did not *insert topic*'' Honest term, no lying present in statement i feel like (my cousins be putting anything on they momma fr risking shit on her for no reason)
'hold it down'' handle buisness / take care of someone or something. can also be in refrence to criminal who handles ''buisness''
NOW EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU TO @rashadisback BC HE CARRIED ME ON THIS‼️
i hope this helps any writers that don’t live here!
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