#i’m terrified of traumatizing my future kids

[yvmoveon]

.

[estrellami-1]

If I Should Stay

Y’all are the best. Seriously. I love y’all. One quick note: if y’all reblog, please include the tag “#if I should stay” (mind the capital i) so people can find the rest of the parts! Thanks so much!!! ❤️

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Eddie does end up following Robin because he does not, in fact, have a death wish.

Even if, apparently, he dies in the future. Go figure.

She instructs him to grab his guitar. “Why in the fuck,” he starts, then reconsiders when Robin whips around to stare at him. “Anyone ever tell you you’re terrifying?”

Robin shrugs a shoulder. “Not as much as they should.”

She stashes her bike in the back of his van and directs him to the Harrington residence, where Steve’s waiting, arms crossed, wondering smile on his face. “Miracle worker,” he calls, and Robin laughs as she grabs her bike from the back.

“Hate to break it to ya, Dingus, but you’re just not scary.”

“I’m plenty scary. I’ve got a nail bat.”

“Right, because that would beat Nance’s sawed-off in a fight.”

“Hey, it could! You never know! They’ve got different ranges!”

Robin rolls her eyes at Eddie, like she’s asking if he can believe it, which. No. No he can’t.

“Sorry,” he says, regretting everything when they both look at him. “What the actual fuck is happening?”

“Come inside,” Steve says, suddenly all business. “We’ve got a lot to discuss.” His eyes find Robin’s. “One of ‘em took Barb last night.”

“Fuck,” Robin whispers.

“Yup. Will’s been missing for two days. Maybe, if we get down there soon enough…”

“Let’s hope so. Which one of the rugrats found El?”

“I think they all did? But Mike’s the one who took her in.” He shakes his head, mouth a grim line. “I saw Dustin today. They’re kids, Robs.”

“So are we,” she reminds him, heaving a tired-sounding sigh. “A buncha kids fighting real-life monsters.”

“Monsters?” Eddie parrots.

Somehow they end up inside while Steve goes to pick up the Party. Who the party is, Eddie doesn’t know. Just like he doesn’t know why he’s in Steve’s Harrington’s house with someone who isn’t Steve Harrington.

“Who’s the Party?” He asks Robin. “And why am I here again? If I die, doesn’t that mean I shouldn’t be here? Should be somewhere far, far away instead?”

“The Party’s a group of kids Steve babysits. They’re the first ones to go through this whole mess. And admittedly, you’re here partially because you can help, and partially for selfish reasons.” She offers him a lopsided grin. “Believe it or not, watching you die was kinda traumatic.”

“Right,” he says slowly. “And you and Steve? How do you know each other? He and Nancy Wheeler are the talk of the town, and if he’s stepping out-”

“He wouldn’t,” she says harshly. “Ever.” She takes a breath. “Two years from now, or a year ago, he and I work together in a mall. Long story short, we get captured and tortured by Russians. High on truth serum, I tell him I’m a lesbian in the bathroom, we help take down the big bad, and boom. Instant platonic soulmates.”

Eddie gapes at her. “What the fuck.”

“Just about,” she nods. “Oh, and the kids love D&D, so you’ll have plenty to talk about. They’re little shits but they’re also kinda great once you get to know them.”

Eddie stares at her. The front door opens, and Steve walks in, followed by a gaggle of preteens and Nancy Wheeler.

“Robs,” Steve says, not slowing his stride as he begins taking the stairs two at a time. “Bathroom. Now.”

Robin grimaces. “Breakdown time,” she murmurs to Eddie, then follows Steve, leaving everyone else staring at each other.

“So,” Eddie says. “I heard you like D&D?”

A dark-haired kid who looks suspiciously like Nancy narrows his eyes. “You play?”

“Play!” Eddie repeats. “I don’t just play, my young friend, I am the greatest Dungeon Master this side of the Mississippi.”

A curly-haired kid begins to grin. “I think we should put that to the test.”

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[not-wholly-unheroic]

I hope to write a full review of Peter Pan and Wendy at some point in the near future once I’ve had the chance to rewatch it a few times, but in the meantime, it makes me sad that so many people seem to have hated it, and I need to just gush about a few of my favorite parts.

(Warning: This list will contain SPOILERS for the film.)

Wendy’s very realistic reaction to having her favorite bedtime story character show up in her bedroom in the middle of the night (“How are you real?!).

The reworking of the “kiss” scene. Although the childhood romance/first love thing between the two of them in most versions is adorable, seeing Wendy sort of mentally panic and scramble to find SOMETHING to give Peter when, after getting hurt, Michael suggests someone give him a kiss to make it better and Peter says he doesn’t know what that is but he thinks he needs one is hilarious and totally something an awkward teen girl would do when confronted with kissing a boy in front of her brothers.

Mr. Smee’s good heart and kindness. Gaffigan’s Smee tries on more than one occasion to shield the kids from the worst of Hook’s wrath and/or scary situations as best he can while still being loyal to Hook. And it is openly acknowledged that there is a sort of father/son relationship between Hook and Smee due to Smee having pulled him from the sea when he was just a boy. Law’s Hook isn’t always good to Smee, but he very much recognizes he wouldn’t be alive without him. It’s also nice to see that although a bit of a dork sometimes, this Smee isn’t stupid, and actually seems pretty perceptive at times.

The sea shanties!!! I love that they found a way to work a few songs into the film without it feeling too out of place in a live-action movie that isn’t a full-on musical. The songs themselves are catchy and the lyrics (which are mostly about things in the deep that will eat you…) serve to remind us of the hellish nightmare Hook lives every day in fear of the crocodile. We also get a nod to the Disney sequel. (Props to the songwriter for managing to work the word “cephalopod” into a song and actually having it fit the rhyme.) Also, the second song arguably has a ticking motif in the slow drum beat.

The crocodile’s appearance and attitude. This thing is terrifying. It’s HUGE. There is absolutely no one in their right mind who wouldn’t run from this creature. While it wants Hook most of all, it isn’t opposed to eating others either (and does apparently nab a few men who get shoved out of the way by Hook or who aren’t fast enough). Also, all the spears sticking out of its hide. Makes me think of Moby Dick. The crew has apparently tried on many occasions to get rid of this crocodile but it refuses to die.

The similarities and differences in Peter’s fight with Hook at Skull Rock as opposed to the animated film. Hook ALMOST steps off a ledge at one point like in the animated version, but Smee is there to grab us coat and pull him back before he can fall. We also get some good shadow sequences like in the animated film…but apparently, Hook’s shadow can harm Peter’s with the effect that Peter himself actually feels it.

Hook’s reaction to the crocodile. His first words on seeing the creature are just a very quiet sort of shaky, “Oh, God….” When it lunges for him at one point, he freezes in terror for a second before his instinct to run kicks back in. This man is traumatized.

Hook and Peter’s relationship. Okay, yeah, I’m upset they went with the very cliche “Hook was a Lost Boy” deal which has been done so many times now in book retellings that it’s not even new or interesting anymore (not to mention Hook really needs to be an Etonian to make him who he is…) BUT I am very pleased at the emotional depth the actors and writers went to here for BOTH of the characters. Hook is still clearly capable of brutality but he’s also deeply wounded. Peter is selfish and cocky like any little boy might be, but he’s not evil and genuinely misses the friend he used to have in James. They weren’t black and white hero/villain tropes. They were complex characters who both dealt with things poorly, and it takes Wendy pushing on their emotional walls and asking hard questions to finally make them see they can stop hurting each other and maybe repair what has been broken.

The quotes they gave Law as Hook. So many good ones that I may make an entirely separate post about it but the entire brig scene with Wendy is gut-wrenching. At first, my reaction was, “Why is he telling her all of this?” But then, I remembered that even Barrie’s Hook has a tendency to monologue and I think part of the reason he tells her so much is simply because she might be the first person other than Smee to actually want to LISTEN to his side of things. (Much as how Tink points out later in the film that Wendy is one of the first people to really hear her.)

Peter actually needing and accepting help. While admittedly, I think they may have leaned into the “girl power” thing a little too heavily in this version, it was nice to see Peter actually realize that he DOES need people in his life and that it’s OKAY to ask for help sometimes.

Everything about the ending. Peter apologizing to Hook and flat-out refusing to fight him. Hook’s initial anger and disbelief. Peter reaching out and grabbing him by the claw to keep him from falling. The pained and terrified look on Hook’s face as he scrambles to come up with just one happy thought and can’t find any. The look of horror from Peter as he watches his former best friend fall to what he assumes will be his death. The fact that Peter MOURNS for him. The symbolism of “Hook” falling away and dying while “James” survives. The little hopeful smile he gives when he sees Peter coming back. UGH! It was SO GOOD!!! 😭 And that’s not even including the emotional scene with Peter and Wendy saying their goodbyes on the rooftop in London.

This film wasn’t without it’s flaws. The pacing was a little off in places, and it doesn’t feel quite like an epic adventure…but BOY, does it have some heart to it.

[auschizm]

Heads up that this ask has deep topics/is kinda a vent!!!

I was forced to take antidepressants when i was 12 and then forced to take antipsychotics around 13 years old. I’m still reliant on them years later and I don’t see myself coming off them in my future. The fact that I am heavily reliant on medications is scary to me. The fact that i’ve been on them for so long is terrifying, who would I be without them? Did it change the way I developed? Would my personality be different? I dunno I just think about it a lot, that i’ve never been completely myself since I was a kid.

Doctors have thrown around many diagnosis’s for me but I believe I have autism, anxiety, ARFID, and depression. Two of these are officially diagnosed (anxiety and depression) while the other two are self diagnosis as of right now. I’m the process of getting an autism diagnosis :)

Anyways, idk i have a lot of complex feelings about my mental health. Especially the medical trauma i went through at the ripe ol’ age of 12 because i was forced into a psych ward because i was anxious all the time. (It was completely unnecessary and only traumatized me/made everything worse)

Sorry for all this I just needed to talk about it somewhere and I felt like maybe some of your followers (or you maybe?) could relate to parts of this. Have a good one!

I very much relate to this! I was put on antipsychotics as a teen without knowing the impact it might have, and by now quitting them isn't a safe or realistic option. And I also find myself wondering in which capacity they have affected or even impaired my life or the person I've become. So I'm sending all my love and solidarity and I definitely get it! That being said, we all are who we are partly due to a variety of outside factors, and there's just no way to figure out who we could have been if the circumstances were different

[fuckyeahstylesp]

The last few months of my life have been…

Traumatizing, eye opening, depressing, and genuinely terrifying.

A few months ago my 11 year old daughter nearly died after contracting COVID & pneumonia simultaneously. Her body shut down and in that moment it felt like the world paused just for us.

All of the stuff I was busy obsessing and worried over the months prior seemed so minuscule now. My kids mean the world to me. I mean, they are the sole reason I’m alive today. I mean that truly.

I have suffered so much loss over the last 5 years that the idea of losing my daughter paralyzed me. I’ve been there for so many people, but in that moment I realized I was so deeply alone and frightened. It’s too soon.. even now I’m still unable to type most of my thoughts out.

I just wanted to come on here and say - please love on your loved ones, because nothing is guaranteed.

Im starting this new journey alone, with my two kiddos.. I pray that Allah gives me strength. I pray for my kids future.

[ask-spider-man-61610]

Specs, you’re a good spider, right? At the very least, you’re a hell of a lot better than I am. You don’t need to get down here, we’ll handle ourselves just fine. I need.. I need advice.

How do you steel yourself for the most horrible things you’ll ever see? I feel like a child to admit it but I’m finding.. difficult.. to move forward. I know what I must do to survive down here and for the most part, I was managing this just fine.

But something about my last encounter hit me in a way that I wasn’t anticipating. I recognize it from what I’ve seen from my father when he came back from the war; I believe the term for it is “combat fatigue”. Not a doctor by any means, but I’ve seen it in action for a long enough time to draw some connections to it.

But unlike my father, I don’t really.. have a place to rest. How do I convince the rest of myself to keep going in spite of this?

- @ask-percyparker

I wish there was an easy answer, Perce. I really do.

I've been in that position...a few times over my career. Or maybe a few hundred. I haven't really kept track. I understand the feelings of...of numbness, hypervigilance, lingering fear and anger and guilt...in my time period, it's not called combat fatigue anymore. Its official name is post-traumatic stress disorder. And, if you're very, very lucky, time and distance will eventually take some of the edge off.

I'm not lucky. But that's beside the point.

Methods of managing it--ignoring therapy as an option, because in your case it isn't--tend to be slipshod, and their effectiveness tends to vary. Sometimes the stuff I do works great, sometimes it's all but useless. When I was fifteen and my symptoms were just starting to get debilitating, Aunt May taught me some exercises with controlled breathing that I still use to settle myself during an episode. Talking to people I love and trust takes a lot of the weight off my shoulders...although, I'll admit, it takes some effort and bravery to make myself start those conversations. You've got Theo and MJ; allowing yourself to lean on them will help more than you can imagine, even though I know every instinct you have is terrified of being that vulnerable. It's hard, but it's worth it. Usually.

And to brace myself for the future?

...That's even harder. I'm not sure there is a good way to do it. But what I do is keep those loved ones close to my chest, and keep myself focused on why I put myself through this fuckery.

I was an awful, awful kid in my first few months as a vigilante; mostly just out there to vent my frustrations and get some photos to sell and ease that knot of guilt in my stomach about what happened to Ben. And because I was in it entirely for myself, those first few disasters hit harder than I think they would've now. I almost quit like a dozen times back then. But eventually I started to realize how many people my selfishness hurt, and how much I could genuinely help if I tried, and I started to understand my...my obligation to help where I could. My responsibility.

I won't say that understanding and accepting that responsibility made me a better person, because I'm not sure it did. But it did give me the strength to keep trying. To push forward and roll with the punches, because I wasn't just doing it for me anymore. I can't promise it'll do the same for you--but it might be a start.

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

New Solar Opposites Episode #6: “Jesse’s Happy Pills” (by @avaveevo)

One day at the Solar Opposites’ home, Jesse is on her laptop for a school project.

Jesse: "What will Geenadavisville be like in 50 years?" Let's see what the computer says.

But as Jesse looks at the images, she becomes terrified by the results.

Jesse: That's horrible. What else? *clicks on more and gasp in horror*Oh, my God! *GASPS* It just gets worse and worse!

The next day, Korvo and Terry are driving the kids to school

Korvo: Have a great day you three! We’ll see you later after school!

Jesse doesn't say anything and just walks into school with a traumatized look on her face

Terry: Bye Yumyulack, Jesse and Sonya! Oh and oh, *to Yumyulack and Jesse* and remember you two? Human forms?

Yumyulack: Oh right! *turns into his human form*

Jesse turns into her human form

Korvo: Bye kids! *the kids leave and then he drives away with Terry back home*

Terry: Korvo, did you see the look on Jesse's face?

Korvo: Huh? *realizes what Terry meant* Oh yeah. Jesse didn’t look okay at all. I hope it didn’t have something to do with her studying last night?

Terry: Hmm...

The scene then cuts to the classroom where Human Jesse is looking down still traumatized. Sonya had finished speaking about her school project.

Sonya: In 50 years, the times here on Earth will be quiet and not scary.

The students clap.

Ms. Perez: Next we have Jesse Opposites.

Human Jesse: Oh, Sonya, how I envy your optimism. There is no Geenadavisville 50 years in the future! With global warming trapping the CO2 inside our poisonous atmosphere, our super-heated oceans will rise, drowning our lowlands, leaving what's left of humanity baking in deserts that once fed the world! (PANTING) And in the new Nineveh, darkness falls.

The students look at Human Jesse in shock. Then, one of the kids scream and crash through the window in fear. The scene then cuts to Human Jesse in Principal Cooke’s office.

Principal Cooke: We believe Lisa is suffering from environment-related despair.

Human Terry: *crying* It's even worse when you know it has a name.

Principal Cooke: Now don't worry. She'll be fine after years of expensive treatment. And we have a new drug to combat this syndrome, Ignorital. Let me show you how lgnorital works. It turns this to this! Huh?

Human Korvo: I don't know. Jesse's still too young to be taking happy pills.

Principal Cooke: Uh, Korey, right? *Human Korvo nods*, we came to an appointment in the middle of the day. That's the most a parent can do.

Human Korvo sighs

Human Korvo: We done here?

Principal Cooke: Yes we are.

Human Jesse: Oh go ahead. Numb me…

The next day, Human Jesse, suddenly feeling better, is off to school in a happy overjoyed mood.

Human Jesse: Well, off to school where they'll prepare our little minds for a future we'll never see.

Human Yumyulack: Uh...you okay?

Human Jesse: Yep! More happier now that the world is bright and beautiful!

Sonya: *sighs* Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays.

Human Jesse then heads on the bus where she can only see happy faces on the kids as she sighs in relief.

Human Jesse: I’m going to dizzyland.

Meanwhile at home, Korvo and Terry have just finished having sex. Terry has noticed Korvo hasn't been paying attention during sex.

Terry: What’s up honey? Is everything okay?

Korvo: I don't know. Ever since Jesse's been taking the pills, she's been...

Terry: Off?

Korvo: Uh yeah… plus I’m worried those pills might have side effects.

Terry: Like what kind of side effects?

We then cut to Jesse in her room, zoned out from the pills

Jesse: *singing* Don't worry. Be happy. Don't worry, be happy. If you don't stop smiling, you're gonna get a kiss.

Jesse is about to kiss a fan that the Pupa is holding

Terry: *comes in and gasp* Oh my goodness! *stops Jesse* That’s it! We’re getting you off the meds!

Terry throws the meds in the bin, much to Korvo's shock

Korvo: Holy cow!

Terry: You're not gonna believe it, Korv. Jesse tried to kiss a fan!

Korvo: Oh my goodness. It must’ve been the side effects from those pills. *sighs in relief* Thank goodness you got rid of them!

Terry: Yep. Pretty hot, huh?

Korvo: *giggles in smitteness*

Terry: *kisses Korvo on the cheek* Well, I better go make dinner. Yumyulack and Sonya want my X-Treme Mac n Cheese.

Korvo: Aw. *kisses Terry in the cheek, who now looks at Jesse*

Terry then looks at Jesse, who is now recovering from the pills and decided to talk to her about her worries.

Terry: Jesse? *sits next to Jesse* You feeling okay now?

Jesse: A little…

Terry hugs Jesse

Terry: Jesse, I know you’re scared of what the future looks like. But, you shouldn’t focus on that. You just focus on your happy present, where you still have your friends, your family and your home and a good life. You never needed those pills to worry about that stuff. Whatever the future holds is bullshit. Those must be rumors and stuff. You have a whole life ahead of you. Don’t worry about the future. Just focus on the present and you’ll be okay.

Jesse: Okay, daddy.

Terry gasp silently but smiles in tears of joy as he and Jesse hug.

Terry: That’s my girl…

Later after dinner, Korvo and Terry are watching Hazbin Hotel

Korvo: I’m so glad you talk to Jesse, Terry. So happy to see our daughter feeling better.

Terry chuckles

Terry: Yeah. All she just needed was a little reassurance from her dad.

Korvo smiles and kisses Terry on the cheek

Korvo: I’m so proud of Terry.

Terry: Thanks, babe.

Korvo and Terry then makeout as they take off their clothes and starts to have sex as they moan lovingly. The next morning at school

Human Jesse: *happily humming*

Mikey: Hey, Jesse!

Human Jesse: Hey Mikey! Looking good!

Mikey: This is the same hoodie I wear everyday.

Human Jesse: Woah really? That looks so cool.

Mikey: Gee, thanks!

Human Jesse: Well, better head to class! Bye!

Human Jesse straightens her bow.

Human Jesse: *takes a deep breath* I really do have a whole life ahead me… and it’s great.

Human Jesse heads into class. Human Jesse then sits down as she smiles and takes a deep breath as class begins.

The End

[nani-nonny]

So many things in ch 3 i love.... But here's some quotes i adore;

" Leading a team is a team effort , it’s not some role you toss onto someone’s shoulders and let them decide everything. You all should be taking part in the leadership exercises. You’re not little kids anymore, you can’t keep pushing Raph to do everything while you play your games or, whatever you guys do when you should be with Leo and Raph. "

THIS'S SO CORRECT! Leading the team is one person job but a WHOLE ASS TEAM!! OH MY GOD!! THANK YOU!!

Ngl i love how older leo is handing it to them raw like that; yes they're kids but if younger you is THIS fucking stubborn to open up then go ahead and tell it to them! THEY NEEDS THIS!

And mikey trying to get leo home no matter what is screaming " he's my favorite brother " vibes!

Little leo's part was by all means; terrifying, horror & disturbing tho it based off writing words, i never thought a fic can give me this much horror, am both shivering a clapping my hands in respect to you Nani.

It hit me so hard when little leo started remembering what happened in the previous minutes of raph's disappointment, the rest going to fight prime kraang, the evacuation, the snake turning to ashes - idk if this's a reference to f!leo turning to ashes in the movie lol - it all scared me and made me more worried for leo.

Now i heard the 4th ch could be the last - i mean you posted about it no? - and am tossing and turning in bed; how would the 4th ch go? Will it be healing? Will it be exciting showing future leo's come back?

Future Leonardo scolding these teens before he dips lol

No but honestly, his conversation with the teens was so much easier to write than Leo’s conversation with the future brothers. Leonardo has grown from the teen Leo is, and in turn his confidence has grown with him. Although he still has work to do on his self, he has matured to recognize that the past wasn’t as great as it could have been. He realized where his insecurity came and how it encouraged Donnie and Mikey and Raph to think so shallowly about the leadership change.

Mikey sending Leonardo home was such a fun idea to me! Seeing the stress Leonardo was under and so desperate to go home, Mikey knew he had to send Leonardo back as soon as possible, even if he couldn’t do it well enough. Luckily, Leonardo knows his brothers and was able to help Mikey. :)

To quote Mikey, “Man the future’s harsh!”

I feel bad for Leo and I think he retaliated because writing his POV was difficult. I had to change the dialogue plenty of times because it started slipping out of character to another’s. But the horrors Leo was facing is so intense, and it’ll get a bit crazier in the next chapter. Hold on tight Leo!

(And thank you! I’m glad it got the reaction I expected! It’s spooky hahaha!)

The flashback moments! Poor lil Leo! He’s realizing how bad it became in the future, and why the future brothers kept trying to talk without Leo listening. Although, I don’t think I mentioned that the yokai that turned to ashes was a snake? Anyways, lil guy is traumatized!

And yes! Depending on how the writing goes for ch.4, it should be the last! It’ll definitely be intense because we’re diving back where we left off on Leo’s POV! And it’ll definitely be exciting seeing Leonardo’s return to the future!

Thank you for reading!!! It means so much <3333 I always enjoy your reactions!

[lumiereandcogsworth]

Ok ok Adam as a father question: Which child is he closest to? Has he always wanted kids? What song does he sing to his children the most? (Or does he?) Does he do the funny voices when he reads stories? What's his favorite way to spend time with each child once they're old enough to have hobbies and everything?

Oh, friend, you’ve no idea how happy this made me!! Let’s get into it!!!

I’m not sorry that this got really long, but just a heads up. I did indeed go off :)

Which child is he closest to? I think he certainly has special bonds with each of them. But that being said, probably Juliette (the middle of the three). She’s always been quite attached to him, even preferred him a bit more as a baby, haha. So they’ve spent a lot of time together. They’re quite similar, both quiet and shy by nature. When Renée and Maurice just wanted to run around with their mother, Juliette often preferred to sit on their father’s lap and observe. Even as they all grow up into teenagers and young adults, I think he and Juliette talk the most regularly. They have tea and pass the time, discussing books and music and little everyday worries. In her adulthood I think they form more of a “friendship” than he does with Renée or Maurice. He talks to and loves them all, of course, but Adam and Juliette have always had a sweet understanding.

Has he always wanted kids? Absolutely not. But, it’s a tricky thing. Being raised as a prince, heir to the throne, it was ingrained in him how much maintaining the family line mattered. He was never his father’s son, only his father’s successor. Despite all of that, Prince Adam loved to avoid responsibilities, loved to use his privilege without taking any of it seriously. (Granted, he was very depressed and traumatized, but the point still stands.) He was certainly, uhm, adventurous. But let’s just say he did everything he could to ensure there were no unexpected consequences to his promiscuity. Anyhow, he knew that one day he would have to have children. At least one, maybe two. Heir and a spare, you know. The way he was living his life, he assumed he’d eventually marry some perfectly political match, she’d give him an heir or two, and they’d live unhappily ever after. He had no reason to think he had any sort of other future ahead of him. Then of course, you know, STUFF happened.

But it wasn’t like a switch flipped. Even when Belle told him she was pregnant with their first child, he was terrified. Terrified of messing it up, terrified of not being good enough, terrified of doing anything remotely similar to how his father treated him. Of course, all of those worries were crushed into dust. Once his children came, he could never imagine life without them. What he wanted was a beautiful future with the love of his life, and their children very gladly became a part of it.

What song does he sing to his children the most? (Or does he?) I think in general, he leaves the singing to Belle. He can sing, we know this, but it’s not something he elects to do. Now, that being said, he has been caught on occasion to sing an old lullaby or two to his babies, in the wee hours of the night when he thinks Belle is sleeping. He’ll pace around the room with the infant slumped on his shoulder, drooling or sucking on their thumb, and he’ll sing the vague memory of songs once sung to him by his mother. They’re distant, and he doesn’t remember all the words, but he sings what he can and he hums the rest. Tunes that once warmed him with comfort, now passed down to his own little ones to do the same.

Does he do the funny voices when he reads stories? I love to think that he does. He and Belle sometimes read together, doing different voices to really entertain the children. They’ll be sitting on the floor in front of them, cracking up at the funny moments but so utterly captivated at the serious ones. Family Reading Time is an absolute staple for this family, of course!!!

Favorite way to spend time with each one? My answer kind of seemed to lean more toward when they’re teenagers, that’s just where my brain went. So I’ll say here that when they’re young children, Adam loves doing anything with them. He just loves sitting and letting them exist around him, letting them show him drawings and joining in on their tea parties and make-believe worlds. They’re each different on their own, but they all share an affinity to share everything with Papa. He loves hearing their stories and just letting them be their little selves. But! Onto when they get older:

With Renée it’s probably horseback riding. Not going too fast or anything, but Ren loves horses the most of the three, so I think, whenever the two of them got the chance, they’d go for rides together. Their horses walking side by side, Adam and Renée probably engaged in some sort of political discussion. I will add though that these two butt heads the most, she’s incredibly stubborn and headstrong and opinionated, so that discussion could just as quickly turn into a debate or, dreadfully, an argument. But they always manage to work things out (eventually!)

I already sort of covered Juliette, but it would probably just be sitting together and having tea, maybe even reading their own books in pleasant silence in two arm chairs. I also think Juliette always likes to show Adam first when she’s memorized another piece on the violin, or when she’s composed her own tunes. She likes to go to his study and ask if she can quickly play it for him, to make sure it sounds okay. He of course is always happy to hear (and it’s always so good, she’s quite the prodigy.)

With Maurice it’s not exactly one thing. Maurice just likes doing things, as well as showing off his experiments. Adam’s favorite thing to do with him is just to be around him, watching and listening as he rambles about his latest ideas. I think these two have great conversation as well. They’re both night owls, so they have bumped into each other more than once when the rest of the castle is asleep. Adam is Maurice’s hero, honestly. He looks up to both his parents a tremendous amount, probably even more so than his sisters do, but these two have a very sweet bond. Adam doesn’t always understand him, but Maurice never shies away from being his authentic self, which is something that Adam wholeheartedly admires about him (and sees so much of Belle in him, too.)

[residents-of-the-darkforest]

You killed them | Short Story

“You.”

Cedarstar looked up from grooming his pelt, his eyes focusing on a certain tortie pelt. Kindlepaw. Her voice was laced with hatred, fear, and her amber eyes were wide like golden moons. “You as well.” The former leader adjusted his position, looking down upon Kindlepaw who glared back. It was a couple of seconds before either said anything, the two just silently staring as the scent of smoke filled the air, burning at their nose and eyes before finally Cedarstar spoke again. “I’m simultaneously surprised and not surprised that you found your way down here.” He said, his gaze narrowed. “It was a mistake I’m here!” Kindlepaw protested as she unsheathed her claws, “I’m a hero- You would’ve ruined Gladeclan!” the she-cat hissed with complete venom in her voice. Cedarstar rolled his eyes at Kindlepaw’s growls, sitting down comfortably. Or at least as comfortably you could be in the Dark Forest. 

“You ruined my life- You ruined Hillpaw’s future, you ruined evERYONE-”

“‘Ruined’ is a strong word, you little arsonist.” He growled as he stood up after such a short rest, taking a couple strides forward. “If anything, you ruined Gladeclan with your little fire plan.” “Wh- You.. Liar! We were the only cats hurt!” Cedarstar’s fur bristled. “Really? Explain that to your mother, because the flames kept her from being able to escape a falling log.” He hissed, watching the apprentice freeze. “Or your brother who nearly burned alive trying to save what was left of her.” He circled around Kindlepaw, who kept a terrified glare. “I…” “What about your clanmates? Did you not hear their screams?”

Cedarstar was normally a very calm cat, but seeing Kindlepaw get so caught up in her hero complex… It made him angry. The she-cat crouched in place, her voice a quiet hiss. Cedarstar glared down at Kindlepaw. “T.. I thought they were just panicking!” “You killed innocent cats, Kindlepaw. You killed more than I ever did.” He crouched down to be eye-to-eye, hissing the words as Kindlepaw covered her face in her paws- Choked sobs starting to come from the shaky tortoiseshell as Cedarstar glared. Quite pathetic for a murderer. “You deserve to be here just as much as I do.-” He finished, but before he could even breathe in- Kindlepaw suddenly screamed, raising her face to the sky with a mournful shriek.

Cedarstar flinched and took a step back, staring at the screaming apprentice before noticing shivering leaves, the sound of rustling coming closer frantically. ‘Whatever happens to you, happens,’ He thought as he turned tail, rushing through the trees. ‘You killed them, and now you’ll pay the price.’

————————————————————–

Cedarstar traumatizes a kid even more at 8. I imagine the rustling at the end might be Lightning or Red, perhaps?

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

personally i am and was homeschooled and greatly prefer it over public school, although i might be the exception rather than the rule as i went to public school for quite a long time and then covid hit and after that i could not, physically could not go back because uhh mental illinois?? if i could i would go back to public school ftr, im genuinely terrified of not learning things i need to know in life, but the thought of it makes me physically sick so like. but i also acknowledge that homeschool gives parents a unique opportunity to abuse their kids, and, as they are not experts in the subjects they teach 9/10 times, they generally learn less. both options can be incredibly traumatic and it's really a case-by-case basis imho

I get that completely. Right now I’m kind of house bound because of my heat sensitivity and I’m so worried my future kids will have similar problems! Neither option is perfect and I hate that we live in this world where we keep having to pick between two bad options

[exhausted-enby-vibes]

My (in)complete ramblings after watching Thanks to Them

OWL HOUSE SEASON 3 SPOILERS AHEAD

Omg omg omg I just finished the episode and have had no time to think so I hope no one actually wants to read this haha

First of all FLAPJACK NOOOOO

Poor Hunter keeps losing the people who care about him

But Camila has basically adopted him at this point so that’s a plus

Possessed hunter is peak character design, my first coherent thought was “I want to draw him”

And the scars afterward omgggg hasn’t the child been through enough???

Masha with the nonbinary nails!!! And vee having a crush on them!!! I’m not kidding when I say I screamed

Poor Luz is so traumatized, this girl literally said it would’ve been better for everyone if she never existed. I cannot emphasize enough how much that hurts

And Camila being so supportive and just wanting to protect her kid(s)!! I loved the little peak into her perspective with sending Luz to camp

Luz and Hunter both were a huge collection of red flags this entire episode, hopefully that improves in the future lmao

Amity reciting Luz’s speech back to her before they go through the portal ahhhh

And camila’s first reaction to seeing the terrifying monster being “of course I’m going to the demon realm with the children”

Guys I’m crying these are all the coherent thoughts I have right nowwww

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Tired. (2)

Welp...I’m not about to argue with this nutjob.

If he wants to rush towards his death, let him.

Don’t say that! I-

Makoto, enough. You know better than any of us that changing Kuripa’s mind is a heavy task.

You want to have faith in him, don’t you?

...

Yeah, I do...

Makoto, he did kind of just lob the damn thing across the park, so...it’s not like he’s lacking in brawn.

If you had that much strength, you could have shown it a little sooner you know?

Hah. And steal everyone else’s spotlight? I’m not so cold...!

You! Gah! You are INSUFFERABLE!

...

But...thank you...For everything.

You too. I owe you.

If you really think you owe me, pay me back by not dying. I’ll be annoyed if you do.

Come on. Let’s get out of here.

*Toko takes Akeru’s hand and carries Komaru on her back.

Kuripa! Thank you! Good luck!

Don’t mention it kid!

*Kuripa salutes them as they walk away.

...I still don’t trust you, but...I don’t have a choice. Katagiri is a much bigger threat than I anticipated.

Kurafto. For the good of all the people here, destroy that robot. Don’t you dare lose.

Hah! Now why would I EVER want to disappoint you?

...

*With a quiet snarl, Byakuya also rushes away.

...You are no longer a member of the Future Foundation, so there’s no need for you to take Byakuya’s orders, or anyone’s for that matter.

But I still see you as an ally, so naturally, I’ll take your plan into consideration.

If that’s how you want to spin it.

Let’s go Makoto. Kuripa can handle himself.

...I hope so...

*Makoto then leaves with Kyoko.

...

...

...Kuripa?

What?

...Remember how you kicked my ass back in the factory?

What, you think I’d just forget? I was traumatized dude, and I wasn’t even the one being beaten.

I know. But I want you to remember what you did to me.

And I want you to deliver TWICE as much punishment on that robot.

That’s the plan~ Speaking of which, you’re still recovering from then, so you should get to safety.

And Akamatsu...Thanks for the backup...and...I’m sorry.

Apology accepted.

Kaede! We should hurry!

Right!

*Kaede starts to head off with Mii-Yu.

I want to have a good long talk about all of this with you afterwards, but...I imagine Katagiri isn’t going to take your slight lying down.

And I’m far too expended of energy right now to really confront you...Not to mention a little terrified.

Terrified? Of me? Why would you be hehehehe...

*sigh* Same old Kuripa...always a riot.

It doesn’t matter. The point is I wish you luck. Don’t die.

I’m not planning on it.

Want me to support you?

No, I’m fine. Ngh...I think I need to get this wound patched up quickly though. My vision’s getting dizzy.

*Shuichi limps to safety.

Makoto is right though. That thing just molly-whopped all our asses.

I know how strong you REALLY are, so I’m not about to stop you or...tell you not to do this, but I still think you should have some backup.

If things go south, I’m counting on you to have my back. But for now, let a guy do what he’s gotta do. Let him MURDER a ROBOT.

Just...be careful, ok?

Careful? Pfft. Where’s the fun in that?

I’ll do what you asked and contact Nico immediately. She should be back in the clocktower by now and will get everyone to safety.

Good. Good luck, both of you.

Same to you, my friend.

*Kibin kisses Kuripa on the cheek, and then she and Rantaro back off. Kuripa turns around to see Sage Robot Hannibal X approach him.

“Telling your friends to leave you to die here? Seems you recognize your own weakness!”

They’re not my weakness Katagiri. They’re my strength.

‘Cause, y’know, whether they love me or hate me, at least they give a shit about me. That’s enough for me.

“Ah, I see. You’re an attention seeking sociopath! You know, the AETHER was designed to keep humanity alive forever, but...the world may not be a safe place so long as YOU are a part of it!.”

That’s rich coming from you, but I have nothing to say to that...All I’ll say is this...

*Kuripa reaches for his torn shirt and rips it off his body.

It’s time to do the thing you fear most...

...and DIE...!

[allmyhomieshatelawns]

part of the horrors of being so alone, is when you can’t figure something out, or find something you’re looking for, and so you go “oh i’ll just ask someone!” and then you’re slapped in the face that you’ve been so traumatized and abused growing up that you’ve never made connections. you don’t know anyone. there’s no one for you to turn to for the answer of your question. the internet? that’s like looking for a specific drop of water in the ocean.

oof it gets a lot darker after the break

and it sucks. bc. it’s kinda shocking to me. i didn’t think i… i didn’t think i was so alone.

like, i’m just looking up places to get a massage. i live in constant pain bc of EDS, and for Christmas i asked for some money so i could treat myself to a day where i wasn’t in pain. and it’s..

i’m looking on google, and oh yeah there’s hundreds of places listed in my area. majority of them don’t have a website, don’t have reviews, don’t even have a list of services. all they have is a phone number and i can’t make calls bc i can’t fucking hear what people are saying over the phone. so that leaves me with going business to business, driving to each one. and even then, the people who work there aren’t going to give me a good idea on how good of a job they’re going to do, they want my money, they don’t care how much they hurt me in the process.

since i have EDS that means yep i’ve got autism, and im learning all this new stuff where apparently a massage therapist can mess you up really bad if they don’t know what to do with that. so i’m just sobbing in my living room, bc i would like to be able to… i don’t even know at this point. i haven’t been able to do much more than sit or lie down in months bc my back hurts so bad. i don’t know what to do about it anymore. i don’t have anyone i can ask. the people i do still have in my life have literally already said “that’s unfortunate, we don’t know how to help you.”

i just want it to stop. please i just want the pain to go away.

i can SEE my health deteriorating and it’s so scary. it’s so terrifying to feel more pain as i try to go about my daily life. i’m so scared. i can feel it, i can feel that my death is going to long and drawn out and painful and it’s so scary.

i just want it to stop, why won’t my doctor listen to me? why won’t any of them? i tell them i’m hurting and they brush it off. i tell them it’s getting worse, and they shake their heads and say “that’s unfortunate.” i tell them i want to die, that life isn’t worth living, that all i can see in my future is endless pain and suffering, and the doctor just… “Why would you want to do that? why can’t you be happy?” they ask like they can’t fathom what could be causing me so much misery, and i just want to scream. but of course, i was trained well as a kid to listen to what doctors say, they’re the authority, i don’t know anything, i must be wrong. i’m exaggerating my pain. if i just lost a little weight then that agony would be gone.

i’m so tired. how much more can i bear? how much more will i be made to bear?

[finsterhund]

What Nightmares May Come

Holy shit!!! did Finsterhund actually write something!!! (Don’t get your hopes up. It fucking sucks)

I haven't been able to write anything for years but seeing a POS who traces things to make inappropriate images of kid characters write a shitty animal/child abuse apologetic hatefic compelled me to write a hatefic of his hatefic? Christ. But I jumped on the opportunity to write again (I really fucking wanted to be able to write again) so have... this... thing... Hopefully with it out of my system I will be able to make other things. I'm not even going to credit anyone. The guy is apparently homophobic too. Fuck you. This story contains a megalomaniac deranged bratty nepo baby human boy using magic to make everyone else's lives a living hell. Cayden is also there. *shitty canned laughter* Ends with comeuppance in the form of permanent under the bed monster solution. You should never be forced to be "grateful" for the circumstances in which you were born. You shouldn't "accept where you truly belong." Nobody owes anyone jack fucking shit. Die. Needless to say I am EXTREMELY rusty. So be warned.

What Nightmares May Come, which I realize now is technically Sunspot!Cayden’s first literary debut. Christ...

(I swear I will make a better image to accompany this someday)

On a quiet night in a small suburb somewhere in a little American town, Ken stood towering over a small grey puppy, look of superiority over his face. After an evening of psychologically tormenting the young dog for the oh so horrible crime of dreaming of a different life and wanting to set physical boundaries the pup's energy was spent. How was it possible that a ten year old boy could be so vindictive, manipulative, or cruel? It just didn't make much sense. Earlier today he had messed up like any puppy would, and after being tied up outside vented his frustrations in a way oh so common to kids his age. And suddenly this nightmare brat with a stupid magic book had not only overheard him but shown up and verbally harassed and berated him while assaulting him with traumatic visions of his supposed future life. He had been emotionally beaten into submission. And that nasty child all the while just stood above him and grinned. The puppy thought maybe this boy was in that one cult some humans had that claimed to love everyone but actually treated everybody different than them like shit. That might make sense. Before Ken could do anything more to the terrified puppy a brilliant flash of light seared his eyes. Confused, not used to having his power trips in other worlds interrupted, he spun around to see that on the other side of the street was another boy. Blond, scrawny, and wearing some sort of shorts and t-shirt combo without shoes. That didn't seem to bother him though. The other boy walked briskly up, his hands swinging loosely at his sides, wild mop of golden yellow hair bouncing slightly in the breeze. He studied Ken briefly with a pair of strangely captivating bright blue eyes. "Whatcha doin?" He asked. There was a lisp to his voice as he spoke and he sounded slightly younger than he looked, which was already several years younger than Ken. His head was cocked to one side, dog-like, mouth half open. "Er... I was just..." "You gotta help me!" The puppy whimpered. "This weird human showed up who can understand me, and he's torturing me because I said I didn't want to be a house pet. Showing me scary dreams he says are real but not real. I didn't even really mean it... But he's crazy!" The puppy's eyes were pleading, but there was an edge of defeat to them, like he knew to expect that another human wouldn't be able to understand him, like normal. Fortunately for him however, this scruffy odd boy did in fact understand him, and those stark blue eyes immediately snapped up towards Ken with an almost primal revulsion. "That's not true!" Ken spat back. "You were being ungrateful for your family! So I am teaching you a lesson. You called your kid master a nobody, so I made you see what it would be like if he died!" That sounded messed up on its own out of context, but when the truth came out things grew worse. "I've already told you. That's not what I said and you know it! You're twisting my words." The puppy whimpered. I said that I wanted to know what it was like for nobody to pick me up and squeeze and crush me when I didn't want them to. He always hurts me and his parents don't do anything" "Sounds pretty clear" the other boy growled softly, his eyes locked on Ken in an almost hungry way. It was written all over his face how stupid he thought the other boy was for not understanding something so simple. "Dogs already have to go through a lot with humans not respecting their bodily autonomy" those last two words did not sound natural coming from such a vocally immature shaking drawl but the conviction in his eyes showed he still to some extent knew what they meant. "If they're not going to treat him with respect they don't deserve him." "He said that without me the boy would die of depression..." That made the stranger freeze and give Ken the most hate filled glower he had ever been on the receiving end of. "How dare you lie to him and tell him that his kid would suffer more if a dog that wasn't fit for that environment had left rather than stayed there and languished. How... FUCKING... DARE. YOU." This was clearly a very personal point of contention, enough for a very unnatural utterance of the f word to slip out. "You lying manipulative sack of..." the boy caught himself. He tried very hard to contain his rage. "And I suppose you told this pup to keep his mouth shut until he accepted where he truly belonged or some other garbage too?" "Pretty much exactly that..." The puppy whined. "B-but..." Ken tried to cut him off. "But nothing!!" The other boy's hair lifted in what appeared as if the light breeze had morphed momentarily into a gale, his eyes just on the precipice of glittering in an otherworldly way. He almost seemed to float momentarily off of the pavement, loose-fitting shirt billowing in a strong wind with no source, a wind that did not touch a hair on the puppy's head or flutter Ken's own clothes. "Leave us or else." And just like that the disposition and vulnerability of someone no older than seven or eight returned and this boy seemed again weak and small. Ken had been given a warning, but having not faced real consequences did not heed it. "No, YOU need to leave." He pulled up the strange old book he had slung under one arm. Every time someone had tried to give Ken what for after the brat had invaded their world and caused suffering he had used that enchanted book to overpower them. It was abundantly clear he was intending to do the same now. A nasty grin already creeping up his face at the thought of "teaching a lesson" to this strange new boy as well. "That's his evil spell book" the puppy whimpered. "It's where all his powers come from." The puppy was absolutely terrified by the book and cowered with his whole entire body, nubby tail no doubt would have been tucked between his legs if not for its length. The poor thing quaked and shook, a heart wrenching look of abject terror on his face. "It's not evil!" Ken spat at the small dog. "Well you certainly are then..." the other boy growled without hesitation. Ken, now full of a petulant and entirely unrighteous indignation made perhaps his biggest mistake in all of this. He moved forward and in one swift motion shoved the other boy backwards. It was a physically unfair act. The other boy being a good several years younger than him, as well as being starkly delicate and frail went down immediately. He sprawled on his back with a loud cry, high voice breaking shrilly as his head bounced against the pavement and he landed on his side, trembling reflexively. He whimpered something about "being forced to come to New England for this" while on the ground. The puppy looked on horrified at what had been done. His only savior after this time of torment at the hands of an insufferably vindictive brat had born the brunt of that same force, but with a much more visceral result. Ken towered over the other boy with a triumphant smirk and was about to turn back to face the puppy, no doubt to hurl yet more magically powered psychological abuse his way when the grounded boy let out a guttural snarl. This time it wasn't the way humans growled. It was distinctly canine. The puppy recognized it as such. But it had a power to it unfamiliar to any dog he had ever known. The boy's eyes now blazed with that cold vicious blue in a shining florescent fire. His lips pulled back to reveal fangs larger than they normally should be on a homosapien. He was a human boy, but he was also something else. A power older than his body, a power stronger than he had ever let on. Something feral, something primal, something that was at this point quite pissed off as well. "You're not going to live to regret that..." Suddenly like a rush of wind the boy flung himself at Ken and violently tore the accursed spellbook from his hands. In the same motion he pulled back his arms and with an almighty thrust struck him down over the face with it. This time it was his turn to hit the ground. He fell in visually a far less painful way but it was obvious knowing what transpired and what the other boy was, or wasn't... that it hurt him more than what he had done. Groaning from the wind knocked out of him Ken faintly realized through a ringing in his ears that the puppy and the other boy were now introducing themselves. "Cayden" the boy's name appeared to be. He comforted the puppy with such a gentle softness that was so foreign to the raw power he directed at Ken. The puppy, still terrified, allowed himself just the slightest moment of reprieve and let his guard down enough for Cayden to give him a gentle reassuring scratch behind the ears. Between soft cooing, words of promise to ensure that it would never be allowed to happen again were heard. "Give that back..." Ken struggled once he had regained some level of composure. "No. I'm keeping your stupid book" Cayden growled as he slipped it behind his back, only for Ken to look on in confused horror as it seemingly disappeared completely rather than only partially becoming obscured from view. "Now I'll have to put this little guy back in his right space and time. When I was already busy trying to get things done and doing something today..." This wasn't true. Cayden hadn't been doing anything. But he wanted to verbally rip into Ken as much as he could. "You are so stupid. I hate you." There Cayden went again. A retort so infantile and childish. Whatever dwelled behind those blue fiery eyes was still ultimately just another kid. Ken knew better now though that there was something seriously dangerous about this other boy. Perhaps his book could have offered some help identifying it, but now the thing, Ken's lifeline, was gone. Ken noticed then that the puppy was suddenly gone now as well. In the end, the puppy would realize that he did belong with a human family, and ultimately it was Cayden's influence, not Ken's that ensured that the puppy's family actually treated him right and responsibly now. Ken had done fuck all except given the puppy lifelong trauma and a panic disorder. Worse still is that the puppy's problems would have quickly resolved themselves if none of this had happened in the first place. Proving that this entire thing was just a pointless exercise in misery and suffering. Like my life. "Do you realize now that you're wrong? Are you going to ask for forgiveness?" Cayden flashed one of his little fangs with a toothy grin. He knew he would get no such thing but wanted to put the offer on the table anyways. "No! I'm right! He was wrong!" Ken defensively cried out before logic took over and he realized that even if his views hadn't changed it would have been in his best interests to humor Cayden. Too late now. Cayden smirked. "Too bad I guess..." He grabbed Ken by his shirt and dragged him forwards, in an instant the two were somewhere else. A darkened room of sorts. It appeared to be Ken's room. Relief flooded Ken as he thought that he was merely being brought back to his own space and time. Without the book, but otherwise unharmed. He was not so lucky. "I know you've been jumping around different dimensions with that stupid thing..." Cayden growled. "And I'm sick of it. You're annoying and stupid and you think you're so much better than everyone else because you can throw some lazy powers around and nobody can do anything to stop you." Cayden spat viciously. Ken just hung there shocked. He had never had any real resistance to the magical shit he had gotten up to. It was as if the universe had been built around him, solely designed to give him some power trip. "You... You're jealous?" Ken asked. Another big mistake. "I don't need a stupid book to do any of this." Cayden shuddered. Anger probably. "You thought you were the only one? You thought you could be some interdimensional bully? Forcing everyone to submit to you? You're not even a cool dark lord. You didn't even EARN IT. Them, I understand. Them, it's exciting and neat and fun. I like that. But you? You get to play pretend like you're some hero even though you're the opposite. You're a monster who denies he's that. You'd never have learned. You NEVER deserved that power." Cayden knew more than he let on of course. From physically assaulting penguin chicks and lion cubs to using the magic book to invade sacred places that he was never meant to be, Kenneth had certainly made quite the reputation for himself as an unlikable piece of shit only respected due to fear. Not that Cayden was too much better. Although Cayden had standards. Animal abuse, and weird suspicious DeviantArt shit, were strictly off limits. And his invading the personal space of interdimensional entities was exclusively done to those who deserved it, mainly because it was funny. Animal abuse was irredeemable of course and Cayden took that very seriously. Seriously enough that he was going to get rid of the problem. Permanently. "I know you like to beat little baby animals" Cayden spoke with such vitriolic hatred towards Ken that his speech impediment momentarily ceased to exist and his voice dropped a good few octaves. "That wasn't beating... That was-" "SHUT UP. YES IT WAS" Ken suddenly felt a stab of electrifying pain behind his eyes. "You're just some avatar of a deviant freak's sick mind. You're nothing. If I could, I'd hurt HIM too." Cayden proved he could see beyond a veil that even Kenneth's book could not touch. Maybe Cayden could have seen that Ken was just written this way, bound to the same wretched existence that Cayden had pointed out. Maybe Cayden didn't care. Most likely was that Cayden really fucking hated these people and wanted to derive some sort of escapism and venting from the experience. He was correct. He couldn't hurt Ken's creator. Even though that's who was responsible for all of this. Cayden would probably go back to his own true dimension when this was all over and cry. DeviantArt was a mistake. Cayden threw him down onto the ground and rose, floated, several feet into the air grinning down with disconcerting glee stretched across his face. "I don't usually do this..." He giggled. "But I can't just let someone like you go to keep doing this again. And I have a friend that needs a favor..." A growl, one not of a world that Ken had ever known before came from deep, far deeper than spatially possible, beneath his bed. Ken saw glowing eyes in the dark and felt hot wet breath hit his face. The monster beneath his bed slowly slithered out. Eyes only on him, it was as if Cayden was invisible. He probably was. The monster drooled and a long tendril-like tongue slipped from between its pointed jaws and ran along the length of its lips and teeth before coyly curling up around Ken's ankle. "N-no... p-please..." Ken begged, struggling and squirming trying to scramble backward away from the monster's clutches. But it was in vain. With both its prehensile tongue and clawed forearms the monster gripped the boy tight and slowly eased him into its mouth. A mouth that while lined with sharp teeth did not bite or chew. The monster's throat was like a silky smooth blanket as it swallowed the boy down not even momentarily hindered by his thrashing or struggling. Cayden watched the whole thing transpire trying his hardest to hold back giggles. He had wanted to see his new underbed monster feed for quite some time and now he got his wish. Ken would not survive of course, but there were worse ways one could go. An underbed monster's belly was like being smothered in blankets and bedsheets. Much more humane than some other creatures he could have fed Ken to. He watched the monster bask lazily full from its meal for a while before making himself known. "Hey um... about the shirt..." "Oh come on..." the monster growled in a raspy voice. "It's colorblock and blue and red and green... so I want it" The monster rolled its eyes before relenting and spitting the article of clothing out. "Mine now" Cayden giggled. It was a nice shirt. Easy enough for somebody to draw him in.

The fucking end I guess. Moral of the story? Go fuck yourself.

[moonebath]

I remember the first day we planned to meet each other. Anxiously we waited, we both slept like shit. I had to take a walk in the morning to collect myself. We agreed to meet at 8am due to lack of sleep. I was eating breakfast prior and suffering from the most sorrowing stomach pain I’ve ever had. I contemplated cancelling but didn’t.

We met at the mall, it was sunny and airy that morning. I embarassingly had to stop for tums at the mall’s drug mart. Meeting you in the lot, I downed a couple tums humbly.

We went into starbucks and the book store, where a 12 year old kid struck up continuous conversation with me. I was so in awe. Why did this kid want to talk to us about manga so bad? You with your book, slowly faded away and distanced. Me, not knowing you didn’t like kids kept yapping to the youngster. I set off with a smile, it made my day.

As someone who likes to plan things, you were more of a wing-it. We agreed to go on the walk I suggested before of the 3km loop because of the lack of fields you preferred to lay in that didn’t exist within my town. I wished they did.

We walked 23,000 steps together, 3km felt like nothing. We talked about whatever and laughed. The only soreness I had was on the way back in my legs, but was quickly dismissed due to tangling myself in conversation once again. The only picture I took was of some purple (pink?) orchids we found.

After our walk, we sat down and decided on where to eat. We chose sushi, which Japanese happens to be a commonplace for our dates now, which I love. We warmly kept conversation flowing, and exchanged eye glasses. We have similar prescription. My frames suited you so well.

I’ll never forget expressing my fears to you one by one, just wanting to lay them out completely on the table. One of them is space, and I explained, “I just feel like it’d feel so psychologically traumatizing to be there, it’s a whole ‘nother world”- and you said, “homie, I gotta tell you something. Did you know you’re in space right now?” Laughing my ass off, I realized the lack of forethought and my awareness of how I truly am in space and it still has not registered within me entirely.

We spent the afternoon laying in the park grass and chatting peacefully. The silence felt comfortable when it came by. I couldn’t stop looking at you, my brain was begging me to kiss you. I kept swallowing my thought and shunning it away into the corners of my mind, but it persisted. I respected you so much that I thought I’d have to live with this secret the rest of my life.

Then the rain came, it smelled so good. We decided to get boba as it was approaching 8pm. We made it with an hour to spare, cozying in the small booth across from each other. When they were close to closing, we transferred to our vehicles where we sat outside them and watched the sunset around us. We delved into the deeper topics of ourselves, after resisting the urge to trauma dump our last relationship until the last portion of our date. At this point you had no plutonic feelings for me, but it couldn’t have been more opposite for me. I asked you for advice on a recent situation and you gave me advice I needed to hear. Feeling seen and safe, I began to almost doze off standing up in your presence. I needed to go home before I started coming off affectionate with no filter.

The next occurrence was when I passively hinted about being invited to your cabin, so you did. I had told you I had a crush which was actually terrifying. You reassured me gently, and the night before you reciprocated your feelings to me. I hadn’t been so happy in so so long.

This song above is a perfect representation of the cabin. Only you and I will know what occurred then. The reason why I’m writing all of this is to remember details in the future because I never want to forget. I sat here listening to this song after almost a month of knowing you and I just started to cry. I have been having such a difficult time crying lately, but there is so many emotions I’ve been feeling since I’ve met you. I felt like an elderly version of myself looking back with satisfaction and sentiment as tears twinkled from my eyes down my cheeks. Silly, I know, but so true.

I love you so much.