#i’m not sure that it’s real

[benjaminalphabet]

i feel so inhuman lately. so objectified, and i wonder if it’s my fault.

i’m so sick of playing games with men who just don’t give a fuck about me. i’m so sick of being commodified, of being sexualized, of being on other people’s rosters. goddamn, it hurts me. no one ever looks below the surface. i just want to go home, i just want to be cared about. i feel like no one has ever looked at me and seen anything other than something that they can fuck. and god, everyone tries, and i let them because i can’t go home alone. i let them because i hate sleeping by myself. i let them because it gets so cold in my bedroom, and in my head. but my body is a barren wasteland, and i feel so empty. and god, i just want someone to see me as a real person.

i don’t want to wear lingerie anymore. i don’t want to be trapped inside this body that no one can see through. i don’t want to be one of your hoes. i don’t want you to call me when your other plans don’t work out. i don’t want to give you my number. i don’t even want to be the manic pixie dream girl that teaches you how to love again after someone else destroyed your heart. oh, brave wounded soldier let me kiss it all better! fuck this!

i’m so tired of thinking people are so interesting, so smart, so funny, so whatever - only for them to look at me and think that i’m so sexy. or they like how i look in that color, in that lighting,… i am real! i am so much more than miscellaneous body parts. i hate this body! i have worked so hard to disconnect from this body and still, it’s all you can see. i am standing in front of you with my heart in my hands! and i’m not going to give it to you, and you’re not going to reach out and grab it. i am standing in front of you with prose behind my eyes, and all you can see is my tits.

that is so heinous, so ugly. men are so evil. i am so much more than this body i didn’t ask for.

i feel so exhausted with the unavailability of it all. when did we decide it was better to lock all our feelings up in cages, fuck anything that walks, and tell no one we love them? how is it better this way? and i’m so tired of going to bars, and i’m so tired of men asking me if i know this or that band while they come up with ways to sneak into my pants. it’s so empty!! i feel so alone.

the worst part is how complicit i have become in all of it. i do nothing to stop it. i do nothing to try to prove my worth, i adamantly refuse to campaign for myself. i will not waste my breath trying to convince someone who just wants a doll that i am real. i wish so badly i could just be okay with it. i wish so badly that all i wanted was to be a sex symbol, was to be touched. but i’m so nonchalant you would never know how bad it hurts, or how pushed aside i feel. and if my facade cracks, i’ll just tank the whole thing. i’ll just tell myself you never wanted me enough times until i convince myself that i never wanted you either.

i don’t understand how my friends seem so okay with it. i don’t understand how my beautiful, loving, complicated and multifaceted friends can seem so unbothered by being so unnoticed. never forming connections, never getting used to anyone, never asking questions if the answers mean anything at all. how is this better? i go out with my friends and watch them take home men that will never give a shit about anything about them, and i do the same thing and we pretend it’s so fun? we get drunk, and we dance and smile all night, and no one ever admits to how violent this routine really is. every single morning i wake up feeling so sick with myself. how do i keep letting these people touch me? is it worse than isolation? is it healthy? is that possible? have i really fallen so out of touch with my own sense of worth that this is what i’m fucking doing? i’m fucking nauseous.

it is so easy to have sex. it is so easy to pretend that’s all you want. men love a machine. men love when you can make them laugh, and then shut the fuck up, and swallow it all. your words, your feelings, your moral compass, and anything else they can get in your mouth. men love when you love to be left. i do not love to be left! i do not love to be left!

please please please treat me like i’m real.

please please please treat me like i am more than a body.

[daincrediblegg]

OK THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL EVERYONE FUCKING REPEAT AFTER ME. THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL DO WHEN YOU WATCH MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL THIS YEAR:

You will navigate to the page on disney plus (and it has to be here. Unless someone has actually uploaded the REAL movie anywhere else you cannot get it elsewhere)

BUT YOU WILL NOT HIT PLAY. You won’t do it. Because it’s NOT THE REAL VERSION OF THE FILM AND DISNEY IS FUCKING LYING TO YOU AS IT ALWAYS DOES

You will scroll down HERE. To EXTRAS instead. You MUST GO HERE. This is non -negotiable

THEN YOU WILL SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE EXTRAS AND YOU WILL THEN HIT PLAY ON THIS BAD BOY: THE FULL LENGTH VERSION

And you will watch it. And you will thank me for having been so blind and led astray by that stupid fucking mouse. You’re welcome.

[tariah23]

Okay, I said I wasn’t gonna spend too much time on twitter but oh my god!?!!! This is so COOL!?? He looks amazing, omg…!

I’m glad they gave the actor another hairstyle because every black person is absolutely tired of the Killmonger mohawk/comb over 😭!!! One day, we will be free- but anyway, it looks like the name of the anime is “Kawagoe Boys Sing!”

[chloesimaginationthings]

There's doomed yuri... in my FNAF ruin?

[houseswife]

[l-ii-zz]

Are you guys ready for the next comic? Because I am not 🫣

[the-bitter-ocean]

Hi isat fandom. Points at the sign.

[6ebe]

When I said Spain were violating child Labour regulations I didn’t think they actually were 😭

[coinjarred]

[eldritchblep]

Awww yiss, gimme the Aeor lore.

[sincericida]

ANDREW GARFIELD and AMELIA DIMOLDENBERG

in the "Chicken Shop Date".

(source)

[hyunjining]

literally the prettiest man in the universe

[gd-dollopole]

I should find another hobby

Anyway, if Merlin was set in modern times, Arthur would have called Merlin his “gay awakening”.

[liceinmyteeth]

I think these guys deserve a bit more love

I wish we could have fought them but whatever

[bbyteach]

Honestly what I want more of is Ed embracing his softer side in an awkward way like the breakfast in bed scene 💕

[nanstar200]

HI‼️‼️

MORE FNAF/SPAMTON!!! LOVE U GUYS 🫶🫶