#i’m not even a narcissist just take this as a reminder that it’s ok to have off days or off moments

[justforthesakeofme]

have faith in yourself but not too much faith because that makes you bad

[book51ut]

TW: abuse/ sexual assault

Ok im chronically on TikTok and very invested in the Brooke/ Clinton Kane thing for more than just spectatorship reasons. First of all all of the people who have moved from “Brooke’s side” to “Clinton’s side” after he posted his 20 something part story I am so envious of because they have never been in an abusive relationship. When I was 16 I was in an abusive relationship and EVERYTHING that happened echos exactly what it was like for me, it is textbook abuse. Ugh there’s so much I want to say this is going to be disorganized.

I think that part of the reason that people don’t come forward with abuse is because they are ashamed of the way they acted in response to their abuse. Crazy behavior begets crazy behavior, and when someone is psychologically abusing and torturing you and you just take it, you’re not in the best headspace and you often say and do things that are not the nicest, kindest, most responsible ways to act or respond. And it’s embarrassing. Especially if you’re not a narcissist and have a soul and empathy like most survivors of abuse do (and most abusers lack). Abusers prey on low self esteem and they cause you to act in ways that lower your self esteem. I’ve said cruel things, done cruel things. I’m not proud of it. But as I’ve gotten older and dealt with the trauma of that relationship and the impact it still has on me today, I’ve realized that it is nearly impossible to respond to insanity with clarity. I’m not a saint, above it all. I’m a human being who was being abused. I responded in kind. That doesn’t mean that it was just “toxic all around” or that I was “equally as abusive.” I think people say things like that when victims/survivors of abuse don’t respond to it “perfectly.” But all that does is shift some of the blame from the victim to the survivor.

The second thing is like a lot of people don’t talk about abuse because it can be REALLY hard to realize that abuse is happening. It is small things, even individual phrases, that compound and create something sinister. And it can take years to process and unpack it all. I didn’t realize I was sexually assaulted until 3 years after, when I woke up and randomly just remembered it. I know The Body Keeps the Score is such a cliche book but it literally does. Your body makes you forget things. Part of the reason I don’t talk more about the abuse I endured is because I have forgotten, remembered, and reforgotten it. Trauma fucks with your memory. Brooke doesn’t remembered that he got stopped by the cops going to vs from Joshua Tree. And all of a sudden not remembering that detail throws suspicion on her claim. That’s fucking trauma. Manipulators are especially good at pointing those inconsistencies out, shifting the blame off of them, and furthering your OWN feeling of insecurity and feelings of “craziness” that your abuser planted in your head.

I didn’t watch his million part thing because it was so triggering for me. It reminded me SO much of what I experienced 7 years ago, with similar wording. It is really truly amazing how many women go through TEXTBOOK emotional abuse. This is something I only learned during this seven year journey of healing. This was something that was pointed out online but it is really so true- some many women experience this abuse and so many people start to “change sides” because they just don’t realize how common this truly is. And they don’t realize how common this truly is because women are shamed and discouraged from sharing their stories. They are called gossips, dramatic, obsessed, and “yappers.” Men discourage women from forming these networks by pitting us against each other with these words and the connotations behind them.

I’m really only scratching the surface on these thoughts, but obviously my commentary on this has no real practical value.

I hope Brooke is able to find some peace, and that Clinton rots in hell for abusing these women and sending his mother to an early grave.

[secretlyjo]

grrr

it's august!! :3

my soul has matured and healed the most, and i allow myself room to rot too (not rly but i do leave myself some room to not be ok .. sometimes) im working on accepting myself when im not doing ok. it’s a process u.u

lately i've been thinking about the value of friends and what they mean to me. my friend sent me some tumblr posts about it and it really resonated with me..and my other friend also reminded me that “ppl don’t bite or hate u alll the time” which was maybe a small thing to him but it was nice to be reminded that

recently i’ve been feeling like i really amounted to nothing. michelle’s words really hurt me and tbh i would never say that to her, i have too much pride. but her lies really hurt me and at the time i felt like everything she said was true. was i really the copy cat that she claimed i was? was i really obsessed? or was i just hurt because i was mistreated horribly because of her narcissistic tendencies? it was really hard for me to believe that she was also in the wrong - because although she “apologized” for the things she did wrong, during the argument(s) she acted like she did nothing wrong. or she’d take back the things she said and blame me for the things i did wrong and call me obsessed, victim blaming and copy cat more and more. i couldn’t help but think what she was saying was true. turns out, it wasn’t

and i thought it was over until she attacked me out of the blue again, while she was stalking my twitter and instagram page ONCE again. i felt so much better, because i knew she was upset and still mad at me so i believe that she hasn’t done any healing herself. she was so mad at me and claimed all these false things about me and created a list of things she was so bothered by - things that were 4+ years old?? when we first met???? that is so crazy and scary to me. who was i really friends with all this time, who was i always breaking my back for? when most of our friendgroup didn’t even like her, i was the one inviting her to hangouts because i felt bad they wanted to leave her out. i was always inviting her to play games w us, i would reach out to her and do wellness checks. who did i do all of that for? and even now, she’s still reposting tiktoks about shitty friends and how she’s so glad she left them. i’m glad she left me too - it was something i couldn’t do bc i couldn’t see that she was a shitty person. she’s a soul stuck in a narcissistic body

i used to look her up and argue back and forth through twitter bios but now i don’t even think about her. i think my subconscious knows that she’s still upset, mad and she can’t really live w herself. i know she’s still the toxic person she is and tbh i wish we could talk it out and work it through. but at the same time, she’s someone who won’t listen. she won’t take accountability. she will constantly blame me, over and over until she feels better.

but will it make her feel better?

as we can see, probably not

[just-jess-78]

I don’t know how but I know he’s watching me or listening to me. Too many things aren’t adding up.

I had a luncheon to go to today and he started texting me fucking paragraphs the entire time I was there. He even said “you really set things in motion when you told me to go stay with Austin” ohhhhh…you mean when I didn’t want to sleep in the same bed with you while you see where it goes with your long lost love? How does he not know how fucked up that is? The problem, no mater what it is, is never the issue. It’s my reaction that causes the problem. Then the actual problem is never talked about because I’m so mind fucked that I start thinking maybe I did overreact but now goddamn….i know better this time and I’ll never need another reminder I can promise you that much.

He’s coming tonight to get his smoker and some tools out of the garage and said he would leave the garage door opener in the garage. Then he said he wanted to take my dogs ashes. Both of them. I hate him. He didn’t give a fuck about ether of them. I did everything. I can’t believe he’s taking my dogs ashes. That’s a sorry mother fucker but that’s ok. That’s his karma. Not mine. It just sucks. Today fucking sucked.

Im never joking about people being narcissistic again. (That might be a lie…I mean I find humor in everything but it’ll be a minute before I do) it is a mind fuck like no other and it’s almost impossible to explain to people. You end up looking like the crazy one and the most fucked up part is…they know that. They planned it that way. I mean, here I was thinking I’m being neglected meanwhile he’s actually spending all of his time thinking about ways to manipulate me and ruin my life but still keep me around long enough to get him where he wants to go in life. I’m almost flattered. Not.

[ruminate88]

A One Sided Relationship

a narcissistic relationship is literally the most one-sided relationship ever…… You’re literally dating yourself but with their face! With my last relationship, I found myself spending literally almost every Friday night alone daydreaming about him thinking about him while he’s at the fraternity house partying his brains out, probably hooking up with every chick but me. Then he would always randomly message me later on the next day and act like everything was great and we were happy and in love and I was his girl and he would spend Saturday night snap chatting me sending me selfies acting like we’re so happy and in love. Meanwhile, every time I would try to confront him or question his behavior he always had crazy excuses to his busy schedule, and treat me like I just didn’t understand his schedule and his stress. 😐

when I look back at that relationship, I remind myself of how much daydreaming and fantasizing I did towards him more than I actually spending time with him. I would obsessively Google all of his social media accounts and look at his Facebook like crazy. I saved a lot of his pictures to my phone and I spent a lot of time just gazing at his photos thinking that he is the cutest boy I’ve ever saw and that I’m so crazy about him but in reality, I don’t even know him. The person he was on his Facebook and his pictures and the person he was talking to me was two different people. The person in his pictures on Facebook, we’re of the successful college man that’s trying to be well to do and really smart and powerful. But the person talking to me was this young little immature horny boy that just wanted to have sex with an OLDER woman and that’s all he talked about, was having sex with me all the time …… Sadly, I told myself the lie that it was love not sex. I disrespected myself by doing so, and I really broke my heart by letting myself believe that I was falling in love with him, and that he could ever love me!! 🥺🥺

I consistently showered him with love and attention he would go sometimes three days before he would ever send me a text and his text was always, “Hey babe 😘” and legit my heart would leap out of my chest with excitement. I would be thrilled to death to hear from him, so happy and shaking, freaking out, and I would try to make myself wait a few minutes before I responded just to make it look like I wasn’t just waiting for him on my phone but obviously I was waiting for him sitting next to my phone crying for days praying and begging for him to text me. I always always responded back to him and gave him the benefit of the doubt and gave him all my love and heart. However, when I would text him, it was a roll of the dice if he would respond to me or not how long it would take for him to respond, and what he would even say to me.

his moods would change throughout the day, some mornings he would be in a great mood, some mornings he would be in a terrible mood, and then later in the day that would change, and he would be opposite of who he was in the morning somethings! I could tell him some things and he seemed like it was great. Sometimes I would tell him things and he would act like I was stupid or other times I would say something and he would get offended or freak out and not like it. I never knew when he was going to be upset at me or not AND I was always walking on eggshells nervous of what I could or couldn’t say to him. The worst part of it all, is I was terrified to not be “good enough” for him and I worked so very hard to be what he wanted. I always always sent him selfies where I was looking “my best” with ALL my make up done up, my hair fixed good and high heels PLUS sometimes I would be in my underwear only just hoping that he would think I was sooo beautiful and love me. 😭😭😭😭😭

How sad and sick is that?

somehow all “the great love” I had given him made me think that it was an OK relationship when honestly, it was a terrible terrible relationship. He had zero care or love for me the whole time even during the love-bomb phase, it was ME that was pouring out love while he was just talking sex. He would send me selfies from his shower naked talking about how bad he wanted me there with him to obviously have sex. It was not because he ever loved me, My feelings or my heart . I wrote him a love song at one point, and I sent it to him from SoundCloud, he never even responded to it, or acted like he listened to it. I should’ve known, then, how little he cared about me, but I was so caught up in his image and caught up in the idea of what our relationship could end up being that I just was so obsessed with him, and just thought that I could never be without him.

I even defended Andrew, when all of my girlfriends came at me hard trying to convince me that he’s a terrible guy and I shouldn’t trust him and that I should break up with him but no, I convinced myself that everything was OK and that he was just truly busy at college and that eventually it will all work out. If I would just be patient and wait next to my phone for him he would eventually change and make time for me because that is what he had promised me over and over and over again……

I found old diary post that I had made back when I was with him and it breaks my heart when I read how many times I was waiting to hear from him, and never knew where he was, what he was doing, or who he was with!! most likely he was with other girls the entire time but somehow I thought he wanted me only, but he would never want me . He told me Christmas day of 2014 that he wasn’t “good enough for me” but the whole time HE NEVER made me feel good enough BUT actually I’m way out of his league AND THAT IS WHY HE probably tried to belittle me SO MUCH and treat me as if I wasn’t enough because deep down he just knew I was high class and he was a loser.

I have been through so many stages with him first I’m sad, then I’m angry, then I’m disappointed, then I’m hurt, then I’m understanding and I’m sorry and regretful, then I want to apologize, but I know I don’t need to apologize. He needs to apologize and he never will because he just can’t unless he makes some kind of major change in his life and I would love that for him and I haven’t given up on hope that maybe one day he could be a better person and it’s sad because I had made up this idea of who I thought he was when I was with him and I love that person still, but I know that person is fake and doesn’t exist and that’s what kills me the most because I literally was wanting to make that person so happy and I wanted to be happy with them and I would still love that but I know it will never ever happen and it’s just crazy. I never met anyone like him before that I was aware of except for Cody who was similar but even Cody was somewhat different.

my advice to anyone else that has been through a narcissistic relationship, don’t give up on yourself don’t give up on love don’t beat yourself up I know you do because I do too, and I don’t care what people say it doesn’t matter if it’s been four years seven years 10 years, if you still think about them, it’s OK and you can still want the best for them and you really don’t know them, is the problem… you’re thinking about the version that you thought they were and that’s what really sucks but there again it’s OK and you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself because I know I am hard on myself because I feel like how stupid was I but in reality, I just really really love people so much that it hurts me and I know a lot of people say that’s not good but I say love is good and you should always love people still and hope the best for them even if you can’t have them in your life because they’re bad for you. You can still have a great love for them and still wish them well and want the best for them.

and I know you miss the narcissist and you want them back. You are tempted to break contact and message them again I think about it all the time what I would do or say to my exes Cody and Andrew, however, I know that it is one-sided, they do not care about me. They will only hurt me and let me down, and I would be hurting myself by running back to them and that would be really really sad for me to do that That would be a punishment to myself to run back to them and so I remain strong and I remain far away from them, but they always always consume my mind 24 seven and that’s just the life that I have right now I believe that can I change one day but I I just function with it cuz what else can you do?

don’t give up, you are not alone, and if you need someone to understand, I am here and I understand that it really really sucks to love a narcissist when they can never love you back even though at one point during the lovebomb phase, you believed that they were really into you and they were making you feel so good about yourself but that was just setting you up for failure because I could only disappoint you and let you down and guess what? That will never ever change …… A narcissist will never ever care about you or treat you right or give you what you deserve, you can ask them 100 times what you want from them and they will say they’re going to give it to you, but they never will. They will never come through for you. They will never ever ever show you the care and concern that you so desire from the person you think is your love partner and match oh, it’s so sad to believe that they are somebody you could maybe have a future with when in reality they are not even thinking about you most of the time there eyes are consistently on other people.

I truly believe my ex narcissist, Andrew, put a love spell on me & that’s why I’ve been so so obsessed because I didn’t like him upon meeting him but it didn’t take long before he was my entire world and I was out of my mind hooked on him. He confused every part of me and still consumes a portion of my mind/life.

[orange-waterfalls]

I Call This One: Bold & Brash!

The egos x artist! gn! reader

ty @pokemonpunqueen for the request!

A/N: I’ve decided that I’m gonna write for the egos when I can’t think of anything else or I need practice writing lmao. I mean I was doing that before? But I didn’t know it? listen it’s fine it’ll be fine but FOR NOW I thiiiink I’m gonna take requests. Just a few. I’ll stop when I think it gets too much. This is exactly what it says. I focused on like drawing/painting for “artist”, with some references to animation thrown in there. I did Darkiplier, Wilford, Yancy, Illinois, Google, Eric, and a Host thrown in there bc I love him and I miss him

Word count is 1.5k

Enjoy

Egos x artist!reader

Darkiplier

He’ll want to commission art from you

He makes comments about how Mark is a narcissist but also he’s a narcissist.

Oh look, Dark’s asking you for another picture. What does he want? He wants you to draw him? Again? For the fifth time this fucking month? Wonderful.

He likes looking at how you make art of him, be it stylistic or realistic

He will hang them up all over the fucking house so pace yourself

He’s fine if you draw anybody else

Except Mark. Never Mark. How can he tell, you ask? No fucking clue, but he does

Gets a bit worried that you won’t make enough money to live comfortably

Just because not everyone needs a fucking MANSION-

Will always buy things for you if you ask

Likes to be able to support your job or hobby

Sugar daddy? I mean maybe

Makes sure you eat, sleep, drink water, survive--

Leaves snacks for you at your desk for when you don’t want a meal.

Carries you to bed if you fall asleep at a desk

Recommends you wear comfy clothes at all times so you can fall asleep wherever

A bit of an enabler, he’s doing his best tho

If you take commissions don’t be surprised if he threatens to kill someone when they don’t pay or are rude to you

He loves you, that’s all

Wilford

Fucking elated

Draw him!!! Please!!!! Please draw him!!!!! He has coin!!!!! He can pay!!!!!

Ecstatic if you actually draw him like he’ll giggle for an hour straight just looking

Secretly commissions more art from you

So also sugar daddy

It’s always something so obvious so you know it’s him anyways

He likes bright colors and eyestrain for some reason

If you make that, he just. Stares at it. Unblinking. You have to snap him out of it (im not projecting what do you mean)

Gets extremely worried about you not taking care of yourself

Gets someone to fucking babysit you when he’s gone so you take care of yourself

When you get greatly offended by this he settles for texting you reminders

And when you ignore those he texts more

Don’t be surprised if you get spammed by several people and an alarm starts to play from somewhere in the house

You’re gonna be healthy whether you like it or not, asshole

Drags you to bed aggressively

He WILL NOT drug your food with melatonin because that’s illegal. B U T-

He’s a little confused, but he got the spirit

Will advertise your art to anyone and everyone and also on his show and threatens the audience with a gun

AGAIN, a little confused. he just wuvs u so much 

Yancy

I mean technically he’s kind of an artist too so he appreciates your skill and creativity

He’s very nosy and likes to look over your shoulder while you work

If you don’t like him doing that, he still does it, just more secretively

Likes to work in the same room as you. 

That is if you don’t mind constant singing or tap dancing in the background

He shows off your art to anyone and everyone and gets mad if they don’t immediately say it’s fantastic

May or may not have stabbed someone over it, you’ll never know

If you show him something you’re working on, he’ll show you something he’s working on in return

The law of equivalent exchange

You tell him you can make MONEY from things like art and dancing and he goes apeshit he gets so fucking excited

If you’re like an animator and offer to animate his dancing he might actually cry

He’ll deny it constantly every day until he dies

If you make things traditionally he hangs them on the wall Everywhere

You might run out of room

By which i mean you will run out of room as soon as possible

Will never tell you a drawing is bad ever unless it’s like Really Bad which it never will be in his eyes

He loves anything and everything you do u are so precious

You have a permanent support system within the man

Google

Used to see art as pointless

Then comprehended the chemical release it causes in the brain and thought that was fine

Then saw you get really mad with something you were working on and got confused again?

If art no make good chemical, why art?

He still doesn’t understand, but that’s ok

You tried to get him to make something once

He just. Kinda. Made a buncha ones and zeroes

You still framed it and hung in on the wall and he got embarrassed

If he could blush, he would

If you draw him he looks like he doesn’t care but it’s at that point he decides he would die for you

Primary objective: answer questions as quickly as possible. Secondary objective: make u happy. Tertiary objective is to destroy mankind

If you draw bing that will disappear IMMEDIATELY you have BETRAYED him

If you ask for a color palette recommendation he Always says the google colors. Always.

You might’ve thought he was going for an rgby type of thing. But then you realize.

He is in charge of your financing. He will tell you the most efficient ways to make money as an artist and you follow then

He is also in charge of making sure you FUCKING EAT A MEAL

“But isn’t an objective to destroy mankind?” shut up he’s not happy about it either

Despite his best efforts he loves you and that ain’t gonna change

Illinois

Doesn’t fully understand

He needs to be outside at all times and cannot stay in one place

And you’re like??? Required to stay still???? For prolonged amounts of time????? Disgusting. Anyway, whatcha workin’ on?

He might ask you to try and teach him

If you do try he gives up almost immediately

Sometimes you just get so into it that you forget to do basic things and he gets upset

(i.e. eating, sleeping, living, etc.)

He gets worried about you

He is a hypocrite bc he does the same

He will drag you to bed, motherfucker

Honestly he might lock your shit somewhere until you fucking take care of yourself. it’s like a hostage situation god

“Where the fuck did you put it” “I have no clue what you mean. I might know if you eat your dinner, though”

Asshole (affectionate)

Sometimes you like make faces when you try to draw a person and it’s hilarious and cute to him

He looks at your drawings the moment you walk away but acts like he doesn’t care

He cares a lot

Will support you no matter what but will also tell you without hesitation if he thinks something looks shit

Listen he’s out of line but he’s right

Eric

Loves you a lot and will support anything and everything you choose to do or make

Drawing? Awesome! Painting? Wonderful! Animation? Superb!

He often wants to buy you supplies or something but he does not know what anything is

Fuck is a chalk pencil???? What are gel pens vs normal pens?????? Watercolor????? What the fuck are you saying??????????

Will subtly drop hints that you could,,,, draw him,,,,, maybe,,,,, if u wanna 

And by subtly I mean he starts to ask and then starts crying

If you draw him he will cry again he loves u so much 

If he ever were to get a tattoo it’d be something u drew. Nothing else is as important to him at the moment

He enjoys photography and film, and likes to try and bond with you over artistic things

I mean. Some things overlap.

You could talk about a single drawing for hours and he’d listen intently the whole time

Don’t ask him for feedback, it’s always some version of “it’s perfect and I love you”

Even if he hates it

Which,,,,, he might hate it sometimes

He’s not a good reviewer. 2/10, very biased

He likes to take photos when you’re in the zone

If you tell him to delete them he will

While secretly making one his home screen

Host

Hey, he gets it

He writes, he understands the hyperfocus

Sometimes he wouldn’t move from his chair for a day because he was busy writing a script

That being said, you probably have to be the one to get him to take care of himself

Or you have to take turns

Otherwise you’re both gonna fucking die

He asks you to describe your art to him and tries to picture it.

He’ll tell you if he thinks it probably looks good or bad

You shouldn’t take it to heart because he can’t see it

He is a bastard sometimes

“Well, what do you think?” “I think it looks fantastic” “Thanks, babe” “...” “... you think you’re fucking funny, don’t you”

He asks if you can draw him sometimes

No, he won’t see it, but he’ll appreciate the sentiment if you do

He will ask for your opinion on his scripts sometimes

If you say it’s bad he gets really defensive

You work in the same room a lot of the time and forget the other is there

One of you has to preemptively order food or like set a timer so you can goddamn Survive

You’ll be fine

[alwida10]

Why does the Loki series divide us so much?

Why are there people who are amazed by Loki’s character development in the series and some who can’t find any of it when they watch it? Why are some people mad about the ‘out of character’ behavior and some argue this had always been his ‘true’ characterization that was just buried under the hate and trauma during the earlier movies. And why are there people who want the Avengers Loki, when he was at his most hateful and worst in that movie when they could have a happy Loki who finally got friends? I have read all those takes and questions over the last weeks and it led me to the question: how do we perceive the Loki series so differently?

Answer: it is because of the structure and how it collides with pre-existent mindsets!

Ok, I admit that sounds very abstract so here the clear text: the Loki series is structured as a redemption arc and that only works if you think he needs to be redeemed.

This is the redemption arc from the series:

Episode 1 reminded us of Loki’s bad deeds. He killed his mother* by sending the dark elf prisoner up the stairs to the right. He betrayed Odin, Thor, and Asgard*, and literally stabbed people in the back like 50 times. Also, he still thinks he should have a throne.

To drive this point home and to remind u how far our Loki has come, the other Loki variants in episode 5 are as power-hungry, focused on their glorious purpose which is an expression of their innate narcissism and belief in their superiority.

But back to Episode 1: ‘Our’ Loki variant gets his own evilness demonstrated by Mobius, who acts as a savior and a friend. Unlike everyone before, he believes in Loki and that he can be better! Loki admits that his evilness results from his weakness since he only wants to inspire fear to appear strong. After being honest with him, Loki can befriend Mobius and together they solve the mystery where ‘the variant’ hides.

But despite his glimpse into self-discovery, Loki is still selfish and power-hungry. He might have gotten the first push thanks to Mobius but he didn’t change yet, and so he betrays Mobius like it is his nature. He wants to team up with Sylvie, and together they can bring down the timekeepers. Then Loki would probably betray her, too, and become ruler of the TVA.

Now he gets to know Sylvie, and most of all the fact that sets her apart from all the other variants: she doesn’t want to rule! She only wants to end the reign of terror. Her selflessness reaches Loki and he starts to change as well. He realizes there is more to life than a throne. (The romance part is mostly to drive the point home and give him additional motivation. Also, the rule of show business is: turmoil is good, it will attract more people.)

Her selflessness is why Loki joins her cause. Even after being pruned, he wants to aid her. His second-hand embarrassment of the power struggle among all his variants shows US how much our Loki has developed, since he doesn’t even want to rule himself anymore, and HIM that he never wants to go back to his former self.

@alwaysanoriginal pointed out on Twitter that it is Mobius’s influence that makes the classic Loki discover that same selflessness in himself so his sacrifice allows Loki and Sylvie to overcome Alioth and enter the world beyond. Sidenote: I recommend their meta! It’s full of positivity, detailed, and well worded! (Also, we reached the point where the series is while I am writing this, so what follows is speculation based on what I wrote up to here.)

Now, in the finale, Loki’s character development has to be tested. The narrative will tempt him to betray Sylvie to get what he always wanted: power, admiration, being the one who holds all power in his hands. The villain however will be a Loki variant who combines all the worst characteristics: the Loki will be a narcissist, power-hungry, lying, using everyone for his own personal gain etc…

Our Loki will be tempted hard (because that will have us at the edge of our seats) but at the last moment, he will realize that he doesn’t want to be this kind of person anymore. He will stay true to the oath he swore when Sylvie and he snuggled beneath his table cloth. And then Loki will finally be the hero Mobius always believed he could be.

Now, if you are enjoying the Loki series this read feels probably good for you. Now comes the other side of the coin that explains why people don't enjoy this plot:

To make this structure work, they changed Loki’s motivation retrospectively (or they didn’t realize the former films indeed did give him an honorable motivation):

- In Thor 1, Thor was shown as unfit to rule so Loki wanted to delay his coronation and give Thor time to develop work morals (which worked. At the end of the film Thor was a better person). After Loki’s origin was revealed he wanted to prove himself to Odin by the only sufficient method he was communicated: genocide. Now, his motivation is lust for power and narcism.

- in Avengers he was influenced and/or tortured by Thanos (confirmed by Marvel). Now his motivation is lust for power and narcism.

- In TDW, he acts honorable until the incident that can be either seen as Loki sacrificing himself for Thor or betraying him. With the updated characterization from the series, his motivation is now lust for power and narcism.

- in Thor Ragnarok, Loki didn’t do much that would need motivation. What little motivation was needed to turn up for the final battle is probably still Thor pointing out what a selfish and predictable person Loki was, so I guess the only change that happened here is that it might have been defiance caused by his narcism that made Loki turn back to Asgard. So the characterization from the series fits that from Ragnarok best.

So, I don’t have much more to say. All other problems I have with the series originate from this problem.

1) Characterization: They couldn’t show him as badass or in control in the beginning because that would have put his ‘bad’ characterization in a positive light. Therefore, they had to make him a clown. (Note: President Loki who is still a villain still has the badass, thirst-inducing, awesome characterization of the Avengers Loki.)

2) Sylvie does all the heavy lifting (aka the plot so far would have worked without our Loki just as well): well, unlike him, she is a good person already, so she has the motivation for all those things. The only points where he is active are when his ‘evil’ nature takes the wheel, and he wants to meet the timekeepers (motivation to find Sylvie’s hideout) or to team up against the timekeepers (motivation to chase after her and betray Mobius).

3) the representation of being genderfluid would have needed either Loki or Sylvie to change the gender they presented during the series. But the creators needed the male/female dichotomy as an outward representation of selfishness/selflessness so the representation of genderfluidity remained empty lip service.

I’m tagging a few people because I would like to know what you think about this analysis: @iamanartichoke, @worstloki, @iamnmbr3, @allaboutloki, @crazyaboutloki.

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

All Men Have Limits - IV

Character: Dick Grayson x Reader x Bruce Wayne

Summary: A certain bat believes that Y/N is in way over her head, that she’s too naive to act in her best interest. So, whether she wants it or not, the vigilante family is going to help and protect her before she gets herself killed.

Word Count: 3,800+

Previously on…

As Y/N packed her bags, she was also brainstorming her route once she got to her safe house. She’s just stay there for a couple of nights. Then she’d leave town. Gotham wasn’t safe for her right now. And if she was out of city limits, The Court of Owls had less influence. Though she didn’t doubt they’d send an assassin to the other side of the world to hunt her down.

Y/N looked around her extravagant room.

She doubted she’d ever be back here.

Things were getting…complicated.

It was a cruel reminder for why she kept to herself. People meant drama. Drama meant distractions. And distractions meant she wasn’t focused on the task at hand – which was bringing down the corrupt.

Y/N was just zipping up her duffle when there was a knock on her door.

“Come in!” She turned to see Dick walking in.

He eyed her bag. “What are you doing?”

“I was just about to go pack up my equipment in the cave.”

“No, you’re not. You’re staying here,” he confirmed.

She gave him a repulsed look. “Uhh…No, I am not. This mansion is about to be flooded with unidentified members of The Court.”

“Sure is,” Dick smirked. “But I have a solution.”

He held out his hand to show a bracelet. It looked expensive. The band was gold but there was a giant garnet gemstone at the center of it.

Dick handed it to Y/N.

“You shouldn’t have?” Y/N asked with confusion.

“I called in a favor with an old friend. She’s a magician.”

Y/N tried not to laugh, “A magician?”

Dick gave her a playful glare. “Yeah, a magician. But it’s not tricks and gimmicks. She knows actual magic.” He tapped the gemstone. “When you wear this, you’ll look like a different person. It’s a cloaking spell.”

“Why didn’t you guys suggest this right away?”

Dick sighed. “Bruce isn’t fond of metas and…magic.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier for me to just leave?”

“I would rather have you in disguise with our eyes on you, than have you out of reach,” he explained softly. “When you’re wearing this, all of us will still be able to see the real you. But not anyone else.”

“I don’t want to go to this stupid gala. I’ll just wear this and stay in my room or the cave.”

“Well…that’s the other part,” Dick cleared his throat awkwardly. “You’re gonna be my date.”

Y/N blinked in surprise. She couldn’t remember the last time anyone asked her on any kind of date. Not that Dick even asked. He more so told her.

“That wasn’t exactly a request, Dick.”

“Everyone knows everyone. If you’re by yourself, people will ask too many questions. But if you’re my date, no one will think twice why you’re there.”

“I-I don’t have anything to wear…”

Dick laughed lightly. “Alfred already sent out for a dress and shoes for you.”

“…why do I feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman?”

“Come on, Y/N. You know it’s not like that.”

Y/N remained annoyed.

“I’ll be here at your door around 8 tonight, k?” Dick gave her a soft smirk.

“Fine.”

———————

This was just another night for Dick. He’d been dragged to enough of these stupid galas to know the drill: wide smiles, forced laughter, and lay the charm on real thick. With the way this family handled their identities, they could’ve been a family of actors instead of vigilantes.

Dick straightened his cufflinks as he made his way to Y/N’s room.

He could hear the murmur’s of the guest from the ballroom, proving just how many people were attending for the sound to reach him in such a giant manor.

There was a part of Dick that half expected Y/N to be in her usual baggy sweaters and leggings when he opened the door. A silent protest that she wasn’t going to be anyone’s arm candy tonight.

Dick knew he didn’t give her much choice.

When his family had been discussing the situation, Dick tried to off to stay hidden out of sight with Y/N. But Alfred was having none of it. They all knew he took these events rather seriously. Especially one that was started and named after Bruce’s mother.

Dick knocked and turned his back to the door, he double checked there were no guests exploring where they shouldn’t be.

When the door opened, Dick turned around and was stunned to silence.

“Is this bracelet working on you or do I really look that bad?”

Y/N shifted as he stared at her like she’d cast a spell on him.

Dick was seeing Y/N. That was for sure.

“I see the dress fit,” he finally spoke.

What the hell was the matter with him? That’s really what he chose to say?

Though Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at the comment. “That it does.”

Dick woke up a bit and cleared his throat. “You look…beautiful.”

He never had a problem charming women. So why is he suddenly talking like a total cave man?

“Don’t look so surprised,” Y/N call him out teasingly. “Just because I dress like a scrub every day doesn’t mean I don’t know how to clean up.”

His brow furrowed at the first comment. “You’ve never looked like a scrub, Y/N.”

OK. OK. He was getting back to his normal self.

“Well…” Y/N broke eye contact from her bashfulness. “Thank you.”

Dick held out the hook of his arm. “Shall we?”

Y/N inhaled, “Right.”

As soon as she hooked her hand onto Dick’s bicep, a wave of relief washed over her. She wasn’t doing this alone; she was doing this with him at her side.

“So, what’s the the plan here?” Y/N asked nervously.

“The plan is to blend in. Don’t talk to any press. And…” He smirked. “It wouldn’t hurt to try and have a good time.”

“Right. I’ll try to do that while I’m in a room possibly filled with people who want me dead…” Y/N sighed.

“Not ‘possibly.’ There will be.”

Y/N narrowed her eyes at him. “Way to make me feel better, Dick.”

He laughed. “You’ll be fine. I’ll be with you the whole time. Damian, Tim, and Bruce will be there, too. And somehow Alfred convinced Jason to even make an appearance. You’re not in this alone, Y/N.”

“Mhmm,” Y/N answered as they arrived to the party. She didn’t bother hiding that she was still extremely nervous and on edge.

“I did really mean it,” Dick told her quietly.

His tone made Y/N tear her eyes away from the party to look at him. “Really mean what?”

“You look beautiful.”

His words didn’t fumble this time. He was confident and clear, leaving no room for doubt or insincerity.

Y/N gave him a shy smile.

“I’m guessing a drink would make this a bit easier, huh?” Dick offered.

“Yes. Yes, it would.”

Dick guided her to the nearest bar.

All the staff knew what the Wayne family looked like. Which meant the bartended skipped over all other guests and b-lined for Dick when he requested a drink, and then looked to Y/N to order what she wanted.

There was loud laughter from a group of people near them. Followed by a voice that Y/N thought she knew, but still sounded a bit off.

When Y/N looked over, she realized it was Bruce talking to a group of guests, who were absolutely fawning over him. He was smiling and laughing, and taking very frequent sips of his drink.

This was Bruce Wayne: the character. Charming playboy, debatable narcissist, and spoiled brat. But in the eyes of Gotham’s elite, he could do no wrong.

Y/N wondered if Bruce had ever considered bringing her as his date. ‘Don’t you start,’ said a voice inside her head.

Dick followed her eye line.

“Doesn’t it make you nauseous watching him like this?” Y/N mumbled.

“Not Dick. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” Jason answered.

Dick and Y/N turned to see Jason and Damian.

Yes, Dick adopted Bruce’s charm. But he didn’t rip himself into pieces, building characters that were unrecognizable to the people who actually knew him. Dick’s charm was a part of his personality. His flirtations came naturally. But he only used them on people he intended on building a genuine connection with. (Though Nightwing was guilty of using said charm on targets during missions a few times.)

Y/N looked around for Tim and saw him talking to what appeared to be serious businessman. He was the only one carrying on the legacy at Wayne Enterprises. If any of the boys needed to be here, it was Tim.

“Shouldn’t you guys be making rounds or something?” Y/N asked.

Jason shrugged. “People only cared about us when we were cute kids. Now we’re just spoiled adults who are the product of nepotism.” He smirked down at Damian. “But this one isn’t out of the clear yet.”

“Don’t remind me,” Damian groaned. “At the last one, a woman pinched my cheeks as if I was some toddler.”

“I thought I was about to watch him murder someone,” Dick added.

“I wanted to,” Damian clarified.

Dick started talking to Jason about something.

It provided Y/N the perfect window with the youngest Wayne. 

“I’ll sneak you alcohol if you do a mercy killing for me,” she offered Damian.

The boy looked amused but gave no indication that a deal was made.

“Your date that awful?” Jason teased as he smirked at Dick, who ignored him.

“Do you have the hearing of a dog? Fuckin’ Christ.”

The four of them stuck together for most of the night. Tim would touch base with them every so often. But he kept getting dragged away by board members or partners or anyone that wanted to kiss the ass of the future head of Wayne Enterprises.

Dick and Y/N were laughing at Jason about something when Dick’s face suddenly fell as he spotted something on the other side of the room.

“God damn it, Damian.” Dick hissed as he put his drink down on the nearest counter. He turned to Y/N. “I’ll be right back. Stay here.”

Y/N just nodded.

But then Jason seemed to spot the youngest brother as well.

“I should probably help him and do some damage control,” Jason sighed.

Y/N laughed and nodded for him to go ahead.

“Now you can see why I avoid these shit shows.”

She laughed but pushed him away, “Go help Dick.”

Now that Y/N was alone, her senses was hyper focused on the party around her.

As she reached for her drink, she noticed that her surrounding area had gone eerily quiet. And she felt far too many eyes on her. There were hushed whispers and even gasps. 

“Would you care to dance?” A voice asked from behind her.

Y/N’s entire body tensed.

She turned to see Bruce waiting patiently for her response.

But the look on his face was that of a man she didn’t know.

Bruce had a charming glitter in his eyes and his smirk was arrogant.

Y/N looked around at their audience, then at the dance floor. She was desperately trying to remember the last time she danced with someone.

“Umm…I don’t really know how–” her words came out so slowly.

“How to dance?” Bruce offered.

Y/N nodded.

“You just need a good partner,” he reassured her as he held out a hand.

‘What a fucking line,’ Y/N thought as she tried not to roll her eyes. She half expected him to add a wink.

Bruce guided her to the center of the dance floor and then pulled her closer with his right hand while his left wrapped around her hand.

Y/N wasn’t expecting him to pull her so close, but their body’s were now pressed together.

Bruce moved his mouth to her ear. “Relax,” he murmured.

“It’s hard to relax when you’re using me to set up your new flavor of the week,” she criticized. “Everyone is watching us.”

Bruce may be used to such scrutiny, but Y/N had zero experience with it. And it was safe to say she hated it.

“They’re not looking at me. They’re looking at you,” Bruce corrected.

“A woman who’s not even me. It’s just the dress.”

“I’m happy you like it, seeing as I picked it out,” he commented smugly.

Y/N’s chest tightened at the revelation.

“I see the real you right now, and that’s who I asked to dance.”

Y/N wanted to make a run for it. She didn’t want Bruce with an audience. She just wanted him to herself and she wanted him as he really was.

But her brain shut down for just this song and she followed her heart.

If Y/N concentrated hard enough, she could ignore all the invasive gawking. If she closed her eyes, it was just her and Bruce. So, Y/N tucked her head into his shoulder and let Bruce glide them across the floor.

Somehow she felt that Bruce was allowing himself this as well.

One song was not enough for what they both needed and wanted.

But Y/N would take what she could.

Though what she did not expect was to finally pull away to see Bruce looking utterly heartbroken. As if pulling away from her was the hardest thing he’d ever have to do. And for the first time, Y/N legitimately considered that Bruce might want the same thing as she did.

He’ll just never act on his feelings.

If Y/N had blinked, she could’ve missed the moment of honesty and vulnerability Bruce had colored all across his face – bleeding from his eyes.

Because, the next moment, the character was back.

As the party clapped for the band, someone called Bruce’s name. And their locked stare was broken.

And just like that, Y/N was snapped back to reality as if someone threw a bucket of freezing water over her.

Now that Bruce had moved on, no one bothered to keep their voices down. And the upperclass women of Gotham made it loud and clear that they were not pleased with Y/N’s presence.

“Seems he’s found his next prey.”

“She looks half his age, of course he would go for her. Typical man.”

“She’ll eventually learn like we all did.”

“I still say he was the best lay I ever had.”

“Remember when we both slept with him in the same week?”

Now Y/N wasn’t just brought back to reality – she was put in her place.

Before she could even realize what was happening to stop it, her eyes were filled with tears. She had to get out of there.

“Excuse me,” Y/N whispered desperately and she tried to push her way through the crowd.

As soon as she made it outside, she let out a gasp. The fresh air helped, but it wasn’t enough.

There wasn’t any guests outside, but Y/N didn’t feel a safe enough distance from the party. The gardens and maze were in her peripheral and it took her all of two seconds to decide that would be her safe haven.

She hurried through the maze and prayed that no drunken couples had tried to also sneak away from prying eyes. 

But when Y/N reached the center of the maze, she was alone.

A fountain sat in the middle and the sound of its moving water calmed Y/N down a bit. But even that couldn’t stop her tears from finally escaping.

Y/N sat on the edge of the fountain as she tried to get a hold of herself. She could only imagine what this was doing her makeup that she spent an hour doing. 

‘What a waste,’ she thought.

Her escape was short lived. 

Dick called her name repeatedly from a distance.

Y/N panicked at the idea of him catching her crying. She quickly tried to hide any evidence of tears and pull herself together.

Dick finally caught up and let out a sigh of relief from behind her.

“Y/N, you can’t run off like that,” he tried to tell her.

He opened his mouth to lecture her further, but when he finally made it around the fountain and was facing her, his concern shifted. 

“What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Nothing,” Y/N struggled to speak without sounding nasally. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. You were crying.”

“I’m fine,” she tried to laugh. “Seriously, Dick.”

But he wasn’t having any of it. He moved to sit next to her on the edge of the fountain. Without hesitating, he wrapped an around her shoulder and pulled her into him.

“Come here,” he muttered softly.

Why did it feel so natural for him to do that? Like he’d done it a million times before?

He rubbed her arms. “Jesus. You’re freezing.”

Then he was taking off his suit jacket and putting it over her shoulders. But he didn’t miss a beat, quickly bringing her back into his arms again.

“Wanna tell me what’s got you so upset?” Dick asked after a few minutes of silently comforting her.

“It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid to me if it made you cry.”

Y/N took in a shaky breath, feeling like she was on the cusp of crying again. “I’m just like the rest of them.”

Dick waited, feeling like she needed to say more before he spoke.

“They were whispering terrible things. But it was everything I already knew. I’m just another stupid girl that managed to convince herself that she was different.”

Dick was silent as he processed his words. It wasn’t hard for him to know Y/N was talking about Bruce, even thought she never uttered his name. 

“I’ve got an idea,” Dick announced. “Let’s ditch this stupid gala. Get out of these clothes. Put on some sweatpants. And I’ll have Alfred order us as much pizza and wings as you want.”

Now Y/N wanted to cry for a completely different reason.

Dick was the sweetest man she’d ever met.

“Sound like a plan?” He asked her when she didn’t respond and instead just stared into his blue eyes.

Y/N nodded.

“We can even invite my good-for-nothing brothers if that’ll make you happy.”

Her first instinct was to say yes. They all amused her beyond belief. Watching the way they all interacted with each other was like watching a reality show. And it was always obvious how much they loved each other deep down – even with Damian, who would rather die than admit such a thing.

But if all of them were included, who knew when Bruce would eventually make an appearance. And Y/N just didn’t think she could be in a room with him again tonight. 

“Just you and me,” she clarified.

That seemed to please Dick and he nodded. 

“Just you and me,” he confirmed as he offered her a hand up. 

When they started walking back to the manor, Dick wrapped an arm around her shoulder, keeping her close to his side.

“I’m going to ask you a question and I need you to be completely honest with me,” but she said it through a smile.  

Dick looked a bit nervous, but nodded. “Alright.”

“Do you know how to order takeout on your own?”

Dick threw his head back and laughed. “How dare you!”

He pinched her waist, making her yelp. But he didn’t let her escape his hold. “Yes, I do. In fact, when I’m at my own place, I live off takeout. And let me tell you, no one can order food quite like I can. Thank you very much.”  

Once they reached the second floor of the manor, the two of them parted ways to changed out of their fancy clothes.

Y/N washed her face, scrubbing the layers of makeup off. But before she could rid herself of the evidence, she noticed the smeared mascara and eyeliner. 

Words could not describe the relief of putting on baggy sweatpants and a hoodie and fluffy socks after wearing a fitted gown and high heels.

30 minutes later, just as promised, Dick was bringing up a huge pizza and a box of wings to Y/N’s bedroom.

They ate on the floor. Dick managed to light the fireplace that was in there, because Y/N didn’t know what to do with the thing. The television was on, but neither of them were watching it. It was simply white noise.

Two hours later, Y/N was laughing so hard at a story Dick was telling her that she had tears in her eyes and her stomach hurt.

“I don’t believe you!”

“I’m not kidding. Ask Jason. He took my clothes and I was ass naked, running through the streets of Gotham. I wanted to kill him.”

Y/N grabbed another wing and got sauce all over her face.

“What?” She asked when Dick was watching her with adoration. “Do I have sauce on my face?”

He tried to hide his smile. “Nope.”

She knew he was lying and then purposely smeared more sauce around her lips. “How about now? Do I have anything now?”

“No. Nothing.”

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how attractive am I right now?” Y/N laughed as she wiped the sauce off her face with napkins.

“11,” Dick responded without hesitating.

The playfulness was sucked out of the room when they both heard how serious his tone was.

Y/N’s face went somber as she looked down at the floor. “I’m sorry I didn’t dance with you.” She laughed lightly, “I’m a lousy date, huh?”

“That’s not true,” he immediately shot down. “This is the most fun I’ve had…” His words died out when he realized he couldn’t even remember. “Well, it’s the most fun I’ve had in awhile.”

“Me too,” she replied with a quiet sweetness.

Through her full-body laughter, she had moved closer to Dick without realizing it.

He glanced at her lips. He just couldn’t help himself. 

The thing about Dick wearing his heart on his sleeve was that it was nearly impossible for him to hide his feelings, his desires. It was all in those blue eyes of his, waiting to easily be read by someone.  

And while Y/N looked at him looking at her, she felt beautiful. Because that was all Dick could possibly think as he stared at her.

Neither knew who leaned in first. Perhaps this was their dance that they weren’t able to have earlier.

But they made up for it by sharing an impassioned kiss now. 

Dick’s lips were softer than Y/N expected. His hands gripped her waist possessively, making it very clear what he wanted – but still being ever so gentle and soft with his touches.

One of Dick’s hands moved from her waist up her back to tangle his fingers in her hair. He tugged on the strands and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss.

They both could slightly taste the pizza and wings on each other’s lips, but neither of them cared at all.

The kiss didn’t last long enough for either of their liking.

But Y/N pulled away anyways, gasping for air a bit.

“I’m sorry,” she sighed. 

“You don’t have to be sorry,” he whispered through hooded eyes as he brushed some hair away from her face. “I’ve been wanting to do that for awhile,” he added with a smirk.

But Y/N wasn’t really sorry about the kiss. 

She was sorry because she knew that things were far more complicated than ever.

-----------------------------------------------------

Part V

Happy Valentine’s Day!!! 

Please, please, please write me a book report of what he thought of this chapter. It will be your VDay gift to me 😘

[revirushifaa]

Brothers' children go to school for the first time

This has humor fluff and little angst(or I believe so in Levi's part lol)

Lucifer:

*He knows his daughter has to go to school, can't keep her homeschooled, as much as he's against the idea of separating himself from his child, but after some convinving from Diavolo about enrolling Lucille and the other children in the new RAD Kindergarten that he has built as an addition, he finally relents.

*He's still bitter about it, Lucille has spent her first five years with him. Let's not mention that Lucifer is very possessive father and the idea of sharing his daughter with another teacher that he doesn't know, doesn't work well with him.

*He crouches down in one knee to see Lucille eye to eye, when they finally arrive the kindergarten, sighing.

"Lucille, today you will be going to school. It will be only for a short time and we will see each other again during the middle day... so if you want to cry-"

"Goodbye, Papa. I'm ready to go to my class."

*The small demoness cuts off her father and gives him a quick hug before she carries her lunch box and her backpack all proudly to her class.

*There she goes. His pride and joy walking inside the door... why does he feel his eyes wet? Is he crying?! No way! No. Prideful demon regains his composture and stands up proud.

"Be a good girl. I love you."

*The other brothers have to see Lucifer all restless and jittery back at the House of Lamentation, thinking that Lucille might finally be crying for him and that needs to be there for her. No parent likes to be away from their child for so much.

*When Lucille gets back, bombards her with questions about how her day was, if other children made her cry, he'll go personally tomorrow there and will teach them a lesson. He's not lying there. So Lucille has to deal with a very helicopter dad the rest of the day.

Mammon:

*What? Why should his little son go to school so young?! He's so against it will fight whoever tries to separate him from HIS son. But Lucifer buds in and explains him that it's not a choice he should make, his son needs education outside home. So he has no other choice but to accept the fact that he has to be away from Junior.

"Junior, I didn't want this to happen. But son, you must go there for a few hours... we must separate for a bit. But don't worry, daddy will get you the biggest ice cream after school!"

"D-Daddy, I must go from you?"

*Dear gosh, when Junior's eyes start to well up with tears at being away from his father, Mammon loses it and holds his boy tightly possessively.

"No. No. NO. No, son. You and I will go to the casino and get ice cream together-"

"Mammon?"

*Of course Lucifer won't allow that, he understand the feeling of emptiness without a child, but he has to make sure Mammon doesn't actually make Junior skip school.

*Junior is taken away by the nannies of the kindergarten, as he sees his daddy for the last time(at least for the next few hours) with tears in his eyes.

"Bye-bye, Daddy...."

"JUNIOR!!!!!"

*Lucifer now has to hold a wailing Mammon who struggles to get to his little boy as he sees him being led inside the classroom. It surely will be a long day because Mammon is crying so hard and trying to get Junior back. In the end he hangs Mammon up from the ceiling to prevent him from going to the kindergarten until the calsses are done. Then he's let down and when Junior comes running to him, he picks him up and holds him back protectively, sobbing.

"O-oh, Junior, o-oh, my son!"

Leviathan:

*If you think this dad will accept by choice to let his daughter go away from him, then you're so wrong. Oh ho, in his demon form he threatens to summon Lotan forward while he holds Leviosa in arms.

"Don't think I will leave my daughter to strangers. She IS MY daughter!"

*Of course after a threat from Lucifer to throw his mangas and games, along with consoles in the fireplace to watch them burn, he quickly wises up and ighs in defeat, his little daughter has to go from him.

"I'm so sorry, 'Osa... you have to go to school."

"N-o-o-o-ooo! I don't wanna, I don't wanna, Daddy!"

*Oh sweet Rurichan, he's not prepared to see his little one cling from him and crying loudly. He sniffles and cries with Leviosa as he hugs them to his chest.

"I a-also don't wanna leave you, 'Osa!"

*The both of them throw a scene and everyone's watching at them cry and lament their departure. Lucifer has to forcefully detach Leviosa from Levi, handing her over to a nanny and apologizing for the scandal. He has to hug Levi tightly and try to reassure him that he'll see his child again in a few hours.

*When school's over, Levi practically zooms over and snatches away Leviosa from the nanny and hugs her protectively, checking her all around and threatening to summon Lotan forward to destroy this school if harm was placed upon his daughter. After the first day, Lucifer has to take Leviosa himself to school and keep Levi locked in his room because dear Diavolo, he always threathens to pull Lotan to it.

Satan:

*Sending Sandy to school when he, himself can teach her all what he knows. Stupid. Utter stupidity, he's more wrathful and dangerous.

"I'm not sending Sandy away, Lucifer. You cannot make me."

*After a confrontation between Satan and Lucifer, in the end Lucifer wins and Satan reluctantly accepts to take his daughter to school. Still thinking this idea is stupid, he doesn't want strangers to teach his child when he knows everything to pepper her little smart brain instead of another demon.

"Listen to me, Sandy, today you have to go to school and stay away from me for a little while... be good and don't let other brats bully you. You can beat them up-"

"Satan."

*Of course that wasn't a good advice to give a child. So Satan just let Sandy walk calmly to her class. She was like Lucille who didn't start crying when being led to the classroom, the two of them are really mature for their ages.

*Satan reads the whole morning, but can't help but wonder what his daughter is doing at this time and if he should go check. Absolutely goes to check on her, when Lucifer is busy with holding crying Levi tightly.

"Dad? What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you and how you were doing, is it enjoyable or boring?"

"I like it. I can read more here!"

*Pleased with her answer, Satan nods at her with a gentle smile and pats her head, letting her back to class. Stays for the reminder of the school day and gets Sandy with him to the library to get a new book.

Asmodeus:

*Well school is handy when he wants to go to party and can't take his son with him. So with no problem he accepts this and enrolls Cosmo in school with his brothers and their kids.

*Dresses Cosmo in the most elegant and fashionable clothes, so he can be the star of the classroom.

"You look fabulous, my son! Surely you will be the star, don't stop saying that you're the most beautiful! No other child can measure up to your own beauty."

*Cosmo's as narcissistic as his dad so he smiles brightly when he's praised and told this stuff.

"Of course, Daddy dear, I am beautiful just like you and nobody else will match to me. I am the king of beauty!"

*Asmo is really sure about it and hugs his son goodbye. At least Lucifer didn't have to intervene and make Asmo let Cosmo go inside. Asmo goes to party and finds out that this is a party where parents and kids can go but Cosmo was left behind in school, so he sulks the whole party, realizing that he misses his son quite a lot.

*First party that he isn't enjoying at all, checks his D.D.D every second and wonders how his boy is doing. When it is time to get Cosmo back he runs to the kindergarten and sees him covered in golden star stickers.

"See, Daddy dear? I told you I'm beautiful and the teacher gave me all these stickers!"

"Good job, son! I'm so proud of you!"

Beelzebub:

*Sad face. He has to be apart from his little Berith. He doesn't objects and goes with a grim look on his face, holding his boy's hand to the entrance of the school.

"My son, I have to leave you here. Go learn and make new friends."

"Are you ok, Daddy?"

*Berith isn't the one who cries at being away, Beel is crying and wiping at his eyes for he doesn't really wants to say goodbye to his boy and leave him here.

"Yes... I will be. I just don't want to go away from you...."

"Oh, Daddy, it'll be only for a bit."

*Berith hugs his father for abit, but Beel keeps hugging him for more minutes than he's expected too. Until Lucifer gently tells him that he should let Berith go and he obliges, much to his oldest brother's relief. Berith takes his huge lunch box full with lots of food with him going inside his class.

*Beel is left with sadness as he returns home and isn't even hungry, doesn't feel the same when his boy isn't with him, so he sighs. Belphie, comforts him with reassurances that he'll see Berith soon enough.

*When seeing his boy again, he's happy again and takes Berith to McDevil's to get a huge burger and many other food.

Belphegor:

*Well, is he's honest with himself, he loves his twins but he also likes to sleep all morning, so school really is useful in this case. He agrees with not much reluctance.

*It's pretty early in the morning, he's trying his best to not doze off as he walks his twins to the school entrance. He's too sleepy that his words tangle alltogether and he ends up saying something different from what he actually meant to say.

"*yawn* Alright boys... remember this: Drink your school... stay in sleep, don't do milk.... and get eight hours of drugs..."

*Beliel and Beleth grin and nod yes at their father, walking inside the classroom. Lucifer frowns deeply, that's not what Belphie meant to say, so he has to go after those little rascals as quickly as possible and explain to them that their father was just too sleepy to speak coherently.

*Belphie just sleeps throughout the time the twins are in school, not really waking or getting sad because they're away. And before he knows, his twins are napping next to him as Beel has brought them to him, knowing Belphie would still be sleeing to get them himself.

[lucy90712]

Wilbur soot- your new boyfriend

we- 2217

A/n I’m really like this one so hope you guys do too

~ Wilbur soot - Your New Boyfriend  (OFFICIAL VIDEO)

10,400,000 views

Wow. That's a hell of a lot of views. My friend Wilbur just realised his new song yesterday and it's doing so well I'm so proud of him, I know he worked really hard on this song and filming the music video which he roped me into helping with. I have listened to it about a million times that I know every chord off by heart even though I don't play music its just ingrained in my head now.

I felt like listening to it when I got up this morning while I brushed my teeth and washed my face so that's what I did. This time I really listened to the lyrics and I really took them in instead of it just becoming a blur and I had a realisation that may be really stupid.

Me and Wilbur have been friends since we were 17 when we went to college and had always kind of flirted with each other because thats just the type of friendship we had, a lot of people thought we were dating but we never officially moved past being friends even though at some points I wanted to. When we finished college we both went to different universities but they weren't far from  one another so we often used to see one another but of course life was different. By different I mean I got a boyfriend which meant that the flirting stopped and the connection between us kind of crumbled but we reconnected a few years later which brings us to pretty recently. Just a few months ago I broke up with the before mentioned boyfriend because he cheated on me and overall became not a great guy.

You see now I have put my brain to listening to lyrics I can't help but wonder even just a little bit if the song is about me. Now I know that sounds very narcissistic and self centred but the story just seems to match so well and yes the song is meant to be comical and satirical but there is something in my brain telling me that there is a slight real life influence there.

Now I'm really nervous because I'm going to Wilbur's place in a few hours and I don't know if I can just forget about this because of course it can be nothing and just a coincidence but that chance that it is something is really bugging me. Wilbur is definitely going to notice if I act weird which is what I'm really worried about because I don't want to have to talk about it.

Another predicament that I have now subjected myself to is the slight feelings I have for Wilbur which feels so wrong because it's not been that long since I broke up with my last boyfriend but I can't help it. Wilbur was there from the moment we broke up and helped me get over it and doing that while we rebuilt our friendship just made our connection grow deeper and give it a new meaning to me. It's not something new either just because if the closeness there was many times in the past that I had feeling for Wilbur but just never did anything about it because I always felt like he never felt the same. Wilbur had always been the first one to say that we weren't dating when people asked or suspected something.

I wanted to look nice for when I went to Wilbur's because most of the time especially recently he has seen me crying or just looking like a mess. I decided to wear my black acid wash mom jeans and a cute crop top that a friend made for me because she loves fashion and felt that I needed a new look after my breakup. To complete the look I even put on a little bit of makeup but not a whole lot because I have never been one to wear loads of makeup and I styled my hair which I may have cut since the last time I saw Wilbur because I felt the need to just get rid of some of it but it was still cute.

It got to 1:30 and I got my shoes on to begin my walk to Wilbur's place which isn't that bad once you get used to it which I am by now but I always have to be listening to something to stop the noise of the traffic driving me crazy. As usual my everyday playlist went on shuffle but of course it had to do me dirty by playing jubilee line which don't get me wrong is a great song and I love it  but right now I don't need to be reminded of the war going on in my brain in fact I'm trying to forget about it until I get there at least. My playlist really was being a bit of a bitch today because every few songs it would play one of Wilbur's songs just after I had forgotten about things from the last song.

By 2pm I was just down the road from Wilbur's house and my hands were starting to get a bit clammy from the nerves building in my body, despite this I had to go in because I did not walk all this way to back out and go all the way back home. I got to the door and rang the doorbell then waiting for a figure to appear and open it, this didn't take long so before I knew it Wilbur was right in front of me giving me a big bear hug which he is so good at.

He welcomed me in and dragged me up the stairs to his bedroom so that we don't annoy his roommates. Like always the two of us sat on the floor because we are just those types of people although it did start when we were in college and we used to do homework and revision together, those were the good old times when we had no issues in our friendship. He grabbed something from under his bed and put it in between the two of us, it was a monopoly board which is just so typical of Wilbur.

"Come on you can't tell me you don't want to play like we used to all the time" he said

"You're right I'm not going to say that so let's bring it on I may have practiced a few times so prepare to lose" I joked

He shook his head at me and we set up the game both prepared to try and absolutely destroy one another. This didn't go to plan because I quickly made some bad decisions which put me in a very bad place to the point that if I were to land on any square that Wilbur owned I would be out the game but I still had hope. I was right to have hope because the game quickly turned around because I made it past go without landing on any of Wilbur's squares however he had didn't have that luck and landed on pretty much every square of mine and having to give me a large chunk of his money. The game soon ended when Wilbur couldn't recover from the hit of the last round and quickly ran out of money and I became victorious.

"Yes I told you I'd been practicing" I said

"What is that the 4th time you've beat me out of all the times we played" Wilbur tormented

"Oh shut up and let me have this" I said

"Ok ok but next time I'm for sure going to beat you" he said

After that we just kind of laid down next to each other looking at the ceiling as it if were the sky Which really reminded me of one of my favourite memories that I have. One night after the both of us had finished our last exams at uni I went to meet Wilbur and we walked around London during the dead of night and then laid down on a grass patch to stare at the starts which were unusually visible for the city sky. Nothing particularly special happened just the thrill of being done with uni and galavanting around the city when it felt like we shouldn't be out made it so memorable.

I was quickly dragged out of my memory when something brushed against my hand and stayed in contact with my pinky finger, I tilted my head to see what was going on which would of been pretty obvious but Wilbur's hand was right next to mine with our pinky's overlapping. This made my heart start thumping and my forgotten thoughts from earlier come to the forefront of my brain yet again. It's the most ridiculous thing that I'm so caught up on it and too scared to say anything out of fear of ruining my reconciled friendship when I know that no matter what I say nothing will change between us because it hasn't before even when we kissed that time.

Flashback

The bottle stopped spinning with one end pointed at me and the other at Wilbur. Oh shit. This can't happen it really can't. What if this changes everything and things become awkward? I can't live without Wilbur I spend all my spare time with him and even time when I should be revising or doing homework.

I'm never going to forgive myself if I do this and it changes our friendship but at the same time I have to do it or that will make me look like a loser and will probably fuel the rumours that the two of us are secretly dating although doing it isn't going to help that much either. I could see the same dilemma going through Wilbur's mind but we gave each other a look and went for it.

The both of us leant in letting our lips meet gently to start with before some of the other guys pushed out heads closer together. I won't lie the kiss was nice and felt like along time coming really with the amount that the two of us harmlessly flirt but it also didn't feel like there was the right meaning behind it. You could tell that we were both worried about changing the friendship and so there was no real meaning behind the kiss.

End of flashback

Now that was a terrifying day. This felt different though there was no one willing us on and there has been no pressure on us to date for years now that it is just natural and not forced which made it feel all the more special. I decided to just go for it and if it goes wrong then oh well at least I tried and can never wonder what my life would be like if I'd of just followed my heart.

I laced our pinky's together fully making sure my grip was tight enough that Wilbur got the message which he responded to quickly by moving his hand out of mine for a split second before grabbing hold of my whole hand and lacing all of our fingers together. He squeezed my hand turning his head to look me directly in the eyes which made my neves spike for a second before I got control again and stared back at him. I couldn't help but let out a small nervous laugh which I noticed causes a small smile on Wilbur's face.

"You know your face is just so pretty" he said

"Is this you trying to say something? I questioned

"Maybe but it depends on if you want to hear it" he said

"I definitely want to hear it" I replied

"Well if it wasn't obvious by now I have some feeling for you and honestly I have on and off for ages but I get if its too soon" he said

"It's not too soon and in fact the timing couldn't be better" I said

We exchange no more words for the time being and instead sat up leaving into kiss each other for the second time in our lives but it was definitely different this time. This time there was true feelings behind it that weren't nerves they were true feelings of adoration and even maybe just a little bit of love but it's too soon to tell that yet. He needed no encourage this time to deepen the kiss instead he put all of his energy into it from the start to show how much he really meant what he was saying. The two of us pulled apart after what felt like an eternity but in reality it was no more than 20 seconds.

"Wow just wow" I said

"That about sums it up" Wilbur said

"I have to ask because its been bugging me is your new boyfriend about me?" I asked

"Yeah it is I'm surprised you didn't realise sooner how may time of you heard it" he joked

"But lets forget that can I be your new boyfriend?" He asked

"Of course you can but you might need to write a new song" I said

[i-rebelled-for-this]

I have some thoughts of Loki and the hot topic of Sylki. What I think it means and how it doesn’t really matter if they go with romantic or familial love. Sylki isn’t incest, Sylki is self love and about loving and accepting all part of who you are and could/will be. And however it’ll be portrayed it’s a positive thing. Loki (and Sylvie) needs to love and trust themselves and they need to feel connection. I think we can all agree that both of them suffered a lot of trauma. With trauma comes doubt, self loathe, self hate and also often desperation for everything you didn’t get. Sylvie hates Loki because he got everything she didn’t get and she believes he had everything. He just fucked it up. He is a constant reminder of what she once had and what she was expected to be. She also believes Loki is the part of her that is wrong and got TVA involved in the first place. For Loki Sylvie is the one who gets to do things her way and isn’t limited by others views and expectations of her. She have choices, that he never had, she shows him that he can do other things then those people expected of him and he can be allowed to take his own space and while doing so he can also feel loved and supported. Love has been used as a weapon to control Loki, it supposed to hurt, that’s his prior experience with love and he needs with Sylvie and Mobius’ help realise that that’s not necessarily what love is.

Sylvie and Loki have both rejected part of themselves because they believed they couldn’t be a allowed to exist. In one way Loki and Sylvie is are very different from each other, you might even call them separate beings but in the end they are traumatised children, filled with self hate, desperate to be loved and craves connection. They are one and the same and it is by seeing yourself through someone else’s eyes, you can realize how wrong your view of yourself and your self worth is. It’s by doing so, they’ll take themselves seriously and need to face their trauma and their roll in it. Which they had no part in but haven’t been able to tell themselves though trauma will do that to you. It’s all about self love, self respect and accepting and work through past traumatic experiences, who made you you.

So about if it becomes romantic? I don’t think it will but if, that’s not a bad thing. How could it be? They are as I said the same but they are also parts of each other that hasn’t been accepted or ok by themselves. They need to learn to love that. They have sex? That’s masturbating and discovering their sexuality on their own, which is also healthy to do. Loki (and Sylvie) are not narcissists, that’s nothing there to support that. I’m not really feeling the romantic reading either but Romantic or not. This will allow them to create other relationships as they heal their relationship with themselves. It’ll be down to trauma, destiny vs.free will and it will be painful but it’ll be worth it. (And I expect a lot of mother issues…)

Fun fact: In Norse myths there are stories and theories that Loki got himself pregnant with Hel, Jörmungandr and Fenrisulven. So loving yourself isn’t new in Norse myths neither is splitting yourself into different persons depending on how you see or embrace yourself at the time. And genderfluid was not frown upon, more like expected by the main most powerful deities.

[yoichichi]

Power Couple Playlist

for my love @ikigaitooru , please enjoy Shawty :)

warning: slight timeskip!oikawa spoilers

Relationship Head cannons 

I am not joking when I tell you you guys would be the definition of a power couple, like the kind where when people see you together they definitely get a little nervous assjjjdjsakaka

The team adoressss you too, like you are constantly clowning Oikawa and he’ll just be there like 🧍‍♂️ while the rest of the team loses their minds

Don’t let him fool you though! Oikawa clowns you just as much as you clown him definition of a petty queen

But also let literally anybody else say something to either of you, y’all just go innn on them (unless it’s Iwaizumi of course)

But as much as you two bully each other, you guys are infatuated with each other like you guys got each other on the brain constantly

IMO you guys definitely started off as flirty bullies, to flirty jackass friends to lovers 😶 (I’ll go more into detail with the playlist ;))

Your relationship definitely gives off summer fling type vibes but it just ,,, never ends lmaoo

You guys are LITERALLY the king and queen of the zodiacs and I feel like Oikawa would bring it up constantly “who cares babe we rule the world, let’s do what we want 😩” headass you cannot tell me he wouldn’t say this shit slightly unironically

Stares at you any chance he can get, he loves it when you’re hanging out with someone and you’re doing most of the talking so he can just watch you (will get embarrassed and sheepish if you notice though)

His favorite is when you’re smiling or laughing really hard and then look at him to talk or wait for his response shit gives him butterflies every time

Totally the type to wipe your face with a napkin if you guys are out and you got something on it and then just smile at you like 😊 got it

OKok i dont know much about smoking but he’d DEFINITELY be the giggly type probably horny too but you didn’t hear that from me

Boasts about you literally all the time whenever he gets the chance pls, whenever he gets interviewed at his games in Argentina he relentlessly finds ways to bring you up

Definitely let’s you do his makeup, no questions asked

Sometimes you’re aggressive and chaotic and it scares but also excites him in the best way

OKOK Playlist time!!

(the title is a joke pls don’t come for me asjfkdllsjs)

I kind of made this playlist as a soundtrack to your guys’ relationship and did my best to have it align with your music taste even though I feel like I did horrible job of that 

I really hope you enjoy it and if you need me to change anything please tell me!!

1. Song for Me - Greer: Ok here we go, friends to lovers gang!! Y’all definitely trying to deny it, but you’re catching stupid feeligs stupid fast. He can really talk to you about these big dreams and you just listen and talk with him so intently that it makes him feel something he can’t explain at first it’s called romantic feelings dumby. And hearing him talk about his dreams with you and just really want to talk with you really makes you so happy; and you can’t help but imagine getting to be by his side with him while he does this and- hold on, did you really just think that? Yeah cue 2:37 of the song 

2. This Side of Paradise - Coyote Theory: Yeah, so you guys mutally realize that you like each other and do NOT know what to do. You guys kind of start to dance around it and aren’t sure what signs are real or made up lmaooo. You’re both so playfully flirty it’s like 😏 ahahahah.. 👀👀 bimboz anywayyy cue the side glances from Oikawa and his relentless staring as he slowly falls more and more for you

3. Heavenly - Cigarettes After Sex: UGH DID SOMEONE SAY MUTUAL PINING, pls I feel like this would go on for a fair bit with Oikawa, he’s so dramatic. This song is just the definition of you two just wanting each other. And the fact he’s so nervous to screw it up with you just makes him more nervous cause he’s like oh shit, I really like her. Iwaizumi talks it through with him though knocks some sense into him “If she’s so great why wait until someone else recognizes that and want’s her all to themselves? As a matter of fact I’m sure-” “IWA PLEASE I GET IT” literally runs to your house out of breath after practice to confess to you assjfjdkkd

4. Violet - Hippo Campus: Ok so you guys are definitely together now, and this song just reminds Oikawa of you so hard. It played on his way home from your first date and now he just completely associates with you. Sometimes if he’s feeling extra nervous before a game he’ll listen to it and immediately feel better, it’s like your theme song for you in his mind right now, not that he would tell you that. Whenever he see’s you in the stands at his games this song is like a backtrack in his mind and it just gets him so extra pumped them serves are definitely extra terrifying

5. Michelle - Sir Chloe: Ok we’re gonna get a teensy bit angsty in here 😶 this song is definitely about Oikawa. He’s just so perfect and you hate it, you can’t help but start to love him and it’s so frustrating? He’s just gonna ruin you and you know it. You wanna try to fight falling in love with him so bad but you know there’s just no way that’s gonna happen. It’s like, who are you to be falling for him? It’s intimidating to fall in love with someone you can’t help but see as literally so perfect, knowing practically everyone wants him. He would obliterate you if he heard you think this way but who has to know

6. Sweet - Cigarettes After Sex: This is it, this is the song Oikawa realizes he’s in love with you to. Not just loves you but like in love with you. It starts playing in his headphones while he’s on a run and it makes his heart stop. He just can’t stop thinking of you alongside every lyric (1:45-1:53? Oh yeah) and it makes him so soft; while also scaring the absolute shit out of him. He’s just so in love with you.

7. I Love You - The Post Nobles: OK IM SORRY A LITTLE WITTLE BIT OF ANGST! I do see falling in love scary period, and I do feel like it would kind of scare Oikawa for a second, like he’d really have to sit with his thoughts for a second and be like?? I love this girl? Oh god what if I mess it up? What if I lose her? What would I do? What if she doesn’t love me back? It would just be so much easier if I didn’t love her. So this song is more to himself like, fr my guy?? You love this chick? Wanna take it back? Nope. He can’t believe it but he’s in love with you and has no choice about it, it’s scary but he would let you ruin his life and he ultimately wouldn’t want it any other way. 

8. Pretty Boy - The Neighbourhood: I mean c’mon, this SCREAMS falling for Oikawa vibes. But it’s kind of like your song to each other like fuck it, we’re in love and we can’t do a damn thing about it. ~acceptance

9. Hot Faced - Margaux: I don’t know how to explain it but this is definitely you and Oikawa?? (”King” C’mon now 🙄) I have a feeling people are easily intimidated by you (you look like someone I’d be scared to talk to you) and Oikawa is so charming and inviting, like everyone loves him. So I’m sure there’s people who are like 🧍‍♀️ she’s intense, how’d he just get her like that? And she got him? Power Couple

10. Driving - Donna Missal: Honestly, this is totally just a ~vibe time song for the two of you :)

11. Burning Pile - Mother Mother: Ok TELL me you two wouldn’t blast this song, singing your lungs out together when someone’s had a bad day or is particularly stressed out? Definitely becomes somewhat of a ritual between you two 🖤 you guys are so cute I love you

12. Sunrise - Kevitch: This song is just the definition of your guy’s infatuation and love for each other. People are definitely jealous of you two cause it’s just so obvious on your faces you love each other. 

13. The Girl - City and Colour: Don’t hate me - slight Oikawa angst 🧍‍♀️ It’s Oikawa, he’s angsty. I strongly HC he’ll just never feel quite good enough for his s/o. He just feels like he’s dragging you around so he can chase his dreams and he hates how selfish he feels for doing that to you, but he just couldn’t imagine loving anyone but you. He has these big dreams of becoming a professional volleyball player, and even when he makes it to Argentina with you he feels like he constantly needs to do better for you and just loves you so much it hurts, and he just hopes that that’s enough for you :( 

14.  Cover Me in Roses - Holden Laurence: Intimate much?? Oikawa would most definitely make you slow dance to this song with him. It plays in his head if he wakes up before you, or if you fall asleep before him, all while he just can’t help but look at you and feel so so soft while he caresses your face and just thinks: this is it, this is all I need to make it through anything.

15. I Wanna go to the Beach - Algernon Cadwallader: Did someone say laughing and dancing in the hot night air or Argentina in nothing but your underwear inside your house with all the windows open? Cause that’s what I heard.

-----------

OKOK THAT’S IT BABES, I really hope you liked it, pls tell me if you’d like any changes.

And if anyone else see’s this I’d be more than happy to do this for you, too! Just send an ask with your music taste, tell me about yourself (a fair amount pls lmaooo) and whether or not you want someone or want me to pair you up! (haikyuu only please!)

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Face Value (S2, E7)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:05 - Hold your horses. Malcolm taught at Quantico?!? I mean, I realize that he probably just did the occasional guest lecture (like most profilers?) but I’m still stupidly proud of him. <3 

0:50 - ngl Malcolm’s a good lecturer. Take it from a university student.

1:13 - “It’s okay. We don’t know what you did and it’s not that mu-....BREATHE” Holy shit. I’m torn between ranting about what a great actor Tom Payne is and losing my mind because this scene is heartbreaking. Look at Malcolm. I swear he’s reminding himself to breathe - not Ainsley. He’s completely panicking but he’s trying so hard to be strong for Ainsley. This boy is an absolute treasure. Brother of the CENTURY. 

1:41 - “You’re right Ainsley. I screwed up.” NO NO NO NO NO. Can you hear the sound of my heart shattering?!? This scene is so much more devastating the second time. When you know Ainsley is putting ON A SHOW HERE. Look at Malcolm’s face. He’s devastated. He blames himself for AINSLEY’S actions. He’s starting to genuinely believe that he’s no better than Martin Whitly. Malcolm’s depression/anxiety is through the roof in this episode. I honestly won’t be shocked if Malcolm has a complete mental breakdown in the next few episodes. Hell, I don’t think I’d be surprised if he tries to OD on his meds. This boy is in crisis and I’m terrified for him. 

1:44 - “I think I did too.”.....this line is interesting. Is this part of Ainsley’s act or is she showing some regret for putting Malcolm through this much emotional torment? She can clearly see that this whole situation is literally destroying her brother’s already fragile peace of mind. 

1:55 - “Today could be the day!”.....the day that everyone finds out about Endicott and Ainsley.....seriously, Malcolm’s daily affirmations this season have done nothing but feed his anxiety. 

2:04 - OF COURSE. A call from Martin. Malcolm is going to have a mental breakdown. It’s just everything. All at once. I’m getting secondhand anxiety FOR him. 

2:35 - hahaha Martin is a crazy, evil, pain in the ass but damn is he entertaining. 

2:55 - 1) Ainsley looks adorable in Malcolm’s hoodie. 2) Ainsley straight up leaves his loft later in this episode. Did she hid a change of clothes in the loft before Malcolm got home last night? Or does she actually leave her big brother’s apartment in his clothes? 

3:05 - “Getting hit by a train might be better.” Yep. Malcolm is entering a dangerous territory. I know depression is different for everyone but for me, when I start joking - out loud - to people I love about death in passing....things are bad. Like I’m getting suicidal bad. I know Malcolm has a morbid job and he talks about death all the time but this feels like Malcolm is starting to consider suicide as an option. 

3:34 - I can see Ainsley’s “You were trying to control me” perspective. BUT honestly? Take a step back and listen to the desperation and fear in Malcolm’s voice. Anyone with half a brain cell can HEAR how scared Malcolm is and how deeply he loves his sister. Ainsley has known Malcolm her entire life. If she was functioning on all cylinders - she would know that Malcolm is just being a protective big brother. He’s not trying to control her - just help her. But this has been a theme for Ainsley since season 1 when she brought up visiting Martin during family dinner. She seems to believe that Jessica and Malcolm think that she’s a “fragile flower” and that she can’t take care of herself. I understand how that could be frustrating but I also find it concerning that Ainsley doesn’t seem to understand that they aren’t treating her that way because they think she’s weak or stupid but rather out of love. Ainsley acts like a petulant child about this sort of thing (anger, whining, eye-rolling). Ainsley acts very entitled a lot, in the sense that if something doesn’t go her way she just throws a hissy fit (think reporting and/or any Whitly family squabble). Ainsley is messed up. Unlike Malcolm, she doesn’t seem to have any self-awareness when it comes to her behavioural eccentricities. Malcolm actively tries to improve his mental state. Ainsley just throws a hissy fit when the world doesn’t bend to her will.....and this stream of consciousness Ainsley rant just became wayyyyy longer than I had anticipated (sorry). 

3:41 - “Promise me.” See that look? Ainsley is pissed at Malcolm. This girl’s anger is concerning me.......what if (crazy thought) the season finale is Martin escaping Claremont to stop Ainsley from killing Malcolm? 

3:43 - I wish I could be happier about this hug. Malcolm is finally getting a hug but.....he instigated it and he’s not the one being comforted sooooooooo I’m still unsatisfied. 

3:49 - “Hey, you look...terrible.” SCREAM IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS DANI!! God. I love how concerned she is about Malcolm. IDC how you feel about Brightwell. If you don’t think they’re good friends - you’re a moron. 

4:05 - This is the moment when I went....oooohhhh yeah. LDP directed this episode. That’s probably why he’s not in this scene. 

4:10 - JT is a GOOD husband. Give him a medal. Seriously - last season he was going to watch the Taylor wedding live with Tally (who was going to wear a hat <3 ), this season Mr. Masculine casually throws out stats about the Housewives. hahaha I don’t even care if JT genuinely enjoys the Housewives or not. I’m just so utterly delighted at the idea of him watching it with his wife and having a good time with her. <3 JT is the definition of a good husband and I’m HERE FOR IT. 

4:34 - .......seriously? I thought Edrisa had realized that this crush is unrequited last season? I love Edrisa but her obsession with Malcolm is getting a little creepy. Like “13 year old in love with the 40 year old math teacher” creepy. It’s sort of cute but also like - gurl. No.

4:38 - Ok. Dani’s reaction to Edrisa hitting on Malcolm saves the scene for me. Lol.

4:51 - Ugh. That is a really creepy corpse.

4:56 - Look. We’ve all obsessed about it already but I have to bring it up: MALCOLM STILL HAS THE BRUISE FROM THE ELEVATOR. SOMEONE GIVE THE MAKEUP DEPARTMENT A MEDAL. THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR REMEMBERING MALCOLM’S PHYSICAL TRAUMA.

5:21- ......ok maybe I’m projecting my cynicism here but anyone who has framed newspaper clippings about themselves in their office is seriously egocentric. Maybe it’s just me - but that’s a massive turn off and takes someone out of the running for “angel” status.

6:10 - I’m sorry for every time I thought Jessica was a crazy rich lady during season 1. Birdie is so so so much crazier.

6:36 - “Only the men you date.” Bitch. OMG. Who says something that backhanded and cruel to their sibling?!?!? ......oh wait. I remember how this episode ends :|

7:15 - THANK YOU. I’ve been wondering about the status of Martin’s medical certification since I watched the pilot. SO happy to find out that he couldn’t weasel his way into keeping it.

7:37 - Like most of you, I’ve been creeped out by this whole Martin/Capshaw interaction since it was released as a promo clip. Seriously - it’s creepy. There’s an upsetting amount of subtle flirting here. I’m not sure what it is about Capshaw but her whole energy is just really unnerving to me. I immediately hated her in the promo. Istg Capshaw is an undercover serial killer or something. AND IF SHE BECOMES A LOVE INTEREST FOR MARTIN I WILL LOSE MY SHIT.

8:06 - Oh yeah. She’s either romantically interested in Martin or she’s a psychopath on the DL and is playing him.

8:12 - YAY!!! The Yankee mug returns!!! <3

8:34 - “Sometimes the most monstrous people are the ones hiding in plain sight.” Ouch. I know the writers like to project Malcolm’s emotional turmoil on the case of the week but hearing those words come out of Gil’s mouth?!? Ouch. That hurt Malcolm. Bad. It wasn’t even directed at Malcolm but damn. This is not helping his mental health. At all.

8:41 - Gil. Is. Concerned. <3 :) .....pretty sure Gil also suspects about Endicott and Ainsley by now too. .....hmmmmm maybe that comment about monsters was Gil’s way of trying to get Malcolm to confess (or to gauge Malcolm’s reaction)?  

9:15 - I feel so bad for Malcolm here. He’s literally juggling everyone’s problems. Ainsley’s murder situation. Jessica’s personal drama. But is he dealing with his emotional problems? No. He’s too busy being a good son/brother. SOMEONE PAY ATTENTION TO MALCOLM. HE NEEDS A HUG.

9:35 - Deer. In. Headlights. Well....at least Dani knows Malcolm’s about to have a mental breakdown. This boy just got more information to help him crack a murder case and he looks confused, startled, and lost. He’s usually excited and motivated. This Endicott situation is slowly killing Malcolm. I don’t know how much longer he can struggle under the weight of the guilt.

9:48 - Look at this. Ainsley is pissed off that Malcolm isn’t paying attention to her. We know that this whole 2nd murder was a sham so WTF? Is she really just that hungry for attention? That sounds like Martin Whitly to me - the narcissistic psychopath who needs attention like an addict needs cocaine. Also AINSLEY’S acting here?!? We know that she’s lying to Malcolm but holy shit. She’s a really good actress/liar? What else has she lied about?!? 

10:05 - Ok. So just when did Ainsley remember? I honestly think she’s known since at least 2x01.

10:20 - Look. I understand that Ainsley is pissed that Malcolm is trying to ‘control her’. But did she even listen to the desperation and fear in his voice? This boy wants her to stay in the loft because he’s scared of who she might hurt if she’s out in public, unsupervised. He’s not trying to abuse or hurt her - just protect her. Is he misguided -maybe? Should he have called the cops on Ainsley right away - probably. But he didn’t out of love. Ainsley doesn’t even seem to realize how much this whole situation is hurting Malcolm and that’s the biggest problem. She doesn’t show any remorse at killing Endicott. She’s just pissed off that Malcolm lied about it. SHE KILLED SOMEONE an she (outwardly at least) feels no remorse. This girl is a psychopath (sociopath?) and this will NOT end well for Malcolm and Jessica.  

10:27 - This whole scene was awesome btw. Tom Payne flawlessly communicated Malcolm’s panic, fear, anger, and desperate attempts to stay calm. And Dani’s blatant concern (and suspicion) of Malcolm and his mental state.  AND Ainsley being a little brat. Ugh. So beautiful.

10:45 - I love this scene. I love the fact that they have the type of friendship where Dani’s not afraid to call Malcolm out on his crap (trying to hide things from the team). I love that Malcolm isn’t offended that Dani called him out. He doesn’t lie. Ainsley is lost at the moment. Malcolm is more honest with Dani about how the whole Ainsley thing is affecting him than he is with anyone else. I love that Dani still looks suspicious and concerned. I love watching Dani piece this whole thing together. I’m honestly at a point where I think Dani is going to know about Endicott before Gil. I love that Dani gives Malcolm honest, judgement-free advise. Because she doesn’t like seeing how much pain Malcolm is in. I love that Malcolm isn’t completely shutting her out. <3

11:00 - “What if she already has?”.....yep. Dani is totally piecing the Endicott situation together. 

11:09 - “I’m overthinking it.” THIS. There is a split second where you can see the betrayal on Dani’s face. She knows Malcolm is hiding something and she’s hurt that he doesn’t trust her enough to let her in. She’s also probably hurt because she views this as a lie - which brings back 1x20 memories. 

11:35 - “Even when they’re as beautiful as you.” Ugh. I love this so so so so much. Look at how Dani absolutely lights up at Malcolm’s unintentional compliment. I relate to Dani in the sense that I’m a woman in a male dominated field (engineering). I can’t tell you how often men that she works with have probably objectified her, belittled her, and sexualized her. Malcolm isn’t doing this. He doesn’t call her hot. He doesn’t comment on her body or how she dresses. He doesn’t even acknowledge that she’s a woman. He just calls her beautiful. But he does it in a way that you can tell he’s being genuine. He doesn’t expect anything in return for the compliment. He’s not trying to play the long game. He’s just thinks she’s beautiful. He doesn’t even realize that he said it. BECAUSE Malcolm is in profiler mode. He’s focused on the murder - not Dani. He mentioned that Dani’s beauty off-handedly because 1) he believes it and 2) it was relevant to his profiling train of thought. BUT LOOK AT HOW MUCH IT MEANT TO DANI. <3 <3 <3

12:00 - Why is Chabra exiled to the corner of the room?!?! Someone explain this tomfoolery. Is it literally to just get across that Chabra is not the alpha in this corrupt plastic surgery business?!?

12:16 - Ew. Please never say YOLO. Ever. It’s cringy when kids say it but it’s so so so much worse when someone over 25 says it. 

12:18 - hhahahahahahaha OMG. Dani’s face after he says “yolo”. 

12:31 - Yep. This dude is an asshole. DO NOT try to convince Malcolm to get plastic surgery. The dude has enough problems without adding dysmorphia to the mix. 

12:41 - Yep. Chabra is the little puppy that follows Donahue around and does the grunt work.

12:50 - LOOK AT THE NOD DONAHUE GIVES CHABRA when Chabra denies that stock has gone missing. Can you arrest someone for being a rich, corrupt, asshole?! Ugh. Hate him. 

13:20 - Ugh. I really want to know more about Dani’s past. Who in the NYPD tried to belittle, micromanage, or sexualize her just because she’s a woman?

13:30 - “I want Donahue to be the bad guy.” PREACH SISTER.

13:48 - “Easy. We just isolate him with our own alpha males.” hahaha OMG. LET”S GO. I was so pumped when this scene cut to JT and Gil. BUT I was also a little sad. Malcolm doesn’t consider himself to be an alpha male (I mean, he’s not) but it really just drove home to be that Malcolm sees himself as broken. Gil has been Malcolm’s positive male role model for years. But Malcolm doesn’t think he’s anything like Gil. Malcolm thinks he’s broken where Gil is whole, weak where Gil is strong, and bad when Gil is good. It just sort of broke my heart. 

14:00 - hahaha Chabra is just a wimp. Watching Gil and JT play angry cop, calm cop was so so so good though. <3 

14:05 - This was the moment that I remembered LDP was directing this episode. I’m not usually someone who notices camera work or anything but this was a really cool shot. 

15:00 - Oh c’mon. Seriously? Edrisa’s crush has gone too far. She knows he doesn’t like her romantically. Everyone knows it. Please stop this. I’m getting secondhand embarrassment. 

15:16 - Did Edrisa think they were going to do it in the morgue?!? Those flowers?!? Like wtf. I can’t. 

15:29 - I’ll give props to Malcolm here. He’s being really kind to Edrisa here. BUT HE NEEDS TO TELL HER HE’S NOT INTERESTED BECAUSE SHE’S CLEARLY NOT GETTING THE MESSAGE. 

15:33 - Ugh. Look at how uncomfortable Malcolm is. This is upsetting.

16:08 - “What?!? How do you -” Panic. Pure panic in Malcolm’s eyes. Damn. This boy is spiralling. Someone needs to find out about Endicott. Malcolm can’t keep trying to protect Ainsley and Jessica alone. It’s literally killing him. 

17:14 - “All she could see was the ugliness she felt inside.” “That’s a sad way to live.” .........the parallels between the plastic surgery, dysmorphia, and vengeful crime of the week to Malcolm’s current mental health and Ainsley’s crime is slowly killing me. I’m honestly getting annoyed that the other characters aren’t picking up on all the subtle references Malcolm’s making to the fact that he thinks he’s a monster. I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO COMFORT HIM. THAT’S ALL. WHY IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FEDAK!??! 

17:30 - Another point to the Dani/Malcolm friendship. She takes out the gun and pushes Malcolm back. Is she trying to protect him? Technically, yes. BUT she’s just doing her job. I love that Malcolm respects Dani enough to let her take charge and do her job. I love that he’s secure enough about his masculinity to let her. 

18:15 - Yikes. This woman is 90% plastic. Cosmetic plastic surgery is terrifying. 

20:16 - Another reminder of the woman’s ward. Either Sophie Sanders or Ainsley is going to end up in that ward soon (I’m still half-convinced that Sophie is going to appear out of the woodwork and take the fall for Endicott). 

21:49 - “...convinced her that she would never have a career unless she looked the part.” <3 Look at how disgusted Gil is when Dani tells him that. Gil is a good man and I love him forever. <3 

22:33 - I love this. Dani and Gil are both concerned about Malcolm and communicating it in looks. It won’t be long until there’s a team intervention for Malcolm’s mental health (or at least, that’s my headcanon - if someone wants to write me a fic about it I’ll love you forever).

22:44 - WTF GIL. WHY AREN’T YOU ASKING MALCOLM WHAT’S WRONG?!?! IS IT BECAUSE YOU ALREADY KNOW AND YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT IT YET?!?! 

22:49 -.....soooooo does this mean that Gil already knew that Birdie existed?!? How often did Birdie appear after Martin’s arrest?!?! I WANT DETAILS.

23:06 - Holy shit. Look at that little smirk Ainsley shoots Malcolm when he first walks in and sees her. Ainsley is maliciously toying with Malcolm and I DON”T LIKE IT.

23:14 - Jessica is concerned. I promise you Ainsley and Malcolm have rarely - if ever - fought like this in front of her. I was raised in single parent home after my abusive dad left. I know how that changes the sibling dynamic. No matter how genuinely pissed off you are - you don’t stress Mom out more. If you’re just annoyed with each other and doing regular ‘sibling squabbling’ - then you whine and argue in front of Mom. But if you’re seriously angry with each other - you deal with it when Mom isn’t home to see it because no matter what - you both appreciate how hard Mom is working to keep what’s left of your family together. 

23:28 - “Malcolm. Looking more like your father every day.” BITCH. Did she just say that because she watched Malcolm go off on Ainsley? Sure, Malcolm was a little controlling (probably similar to a situation Birdie witnessed between Jess and Martin back in the day) but HOLY SHIT. That is your nephew. Maybe he’s having a bad day. Maybe being told he resembles a serial killer is really damaging to his already fragile pysche. I don’t like Birdie. AND I DON”T LIKE THAT JESSICA DOESN”T STAND UP FOR MALCOLM HERE. 

24:00 - I don’t like this. These Martin+Capshaw scenes are really hard to watch. Martin is still acting like Martin - manipulative, egotistic, manicA. But he’s also acting like a professional doctor (an asshole doctor but still). It’s really disconcerting to watch Capshaw take his medical opinion seriously. Plus - there’s something about Capshaw that creeps me out. I just haven’t figured out what it is yet. But I’m pretty sure she’s a bad lady.  

24:16 - “What bit should I use?” - See this? No. Just...no. I don’t like how she’s taking Martin’s medical advise to heart so readily. 

25:04 - Why was Martin allowed to watch the procedure?!? He’s clearly getting a sick amount of pleasure from the blood and drilling. Look at the way Martin grins at Capshaw too. Martin is planning out an entire scheme to manipulate Capshaw into helping him escape. You can see the metaphoric lightbulb above his head. 

25:29 - This meal. Seriously. Was I the only one who got a glimpse of the meat in a red sauce and thought “human meat”?!? No wonder Malcolm’s main food group is liquorice. 

25:44 - Poor Jessica. She is not having a good time. Jessica’s behaviour in this scene is really interesting though. Jessica repeatedly shoots apologetic looks at Malcolm. She looks at Ainsley with fear. She looks super uncomfortable. She’s not saying much because she desperately wants a relationship with her sister but she also doesn’t want to belittle her son’s career. She’s proud of Malcolm - in her own way. 

26:00 - “The family trust fund would run dry.” hahahahaha YES MALCOLM. THROW THAT SHADE. hahahaha

26:23 - “Most of the time anyway” Wow. Uncalled for. I know Ainsley is mad but this isn’t cool. I have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that Birdie has been approached by Europol about the Endicott murder. I have this terrifying notion that Birdie is trying to collect intel so she can sell the information to Europol. If I’m right (which I’m probably not) this comment will not help Malcolm’s case.

26:41 - hahaha look at how annoyed Jessica is. Is she annoyed because her children are openly fighting in front of their Aunt when Jessica wants to portray the “perfect, undamaged family”? Or is Jessica annoyed because what Ainsley just said was out of line and she’s scared of Ainsley right now?

27:02 - “Why would you do that? I told you I would handle everything.” This. This is why I will argue that Ainsley is way out of line. Yes, Malcolm is sort of trying to control her. BUT listen to his words, the desperation and fear in his voice. Malcolm is trying to protect Ainsley. Ainsley has every right to be annoyed with him but if she was functioning at an adult mental capacity she’d be able to see that he isn’t being malicious. 

27:35 - The fact that Birdie is a backstabbing, lying bitch is so frustrating to me. Look at how badly Jessica wants to have a healthy relationship with her little sister. Jessica just wants a girl-friend to confide in and drink with. I’m heartbroken that Martin stole that from her. 

28:05 - I know LDP was directing this episode but JT or Dani should’ve called Malcolm. Why? This conversation between Gil and Malcolm (WHEN GIL IS WEARING HIS COAT) just makes me wonder - where is Gil going? JT is at Donahue’s apartment. Dani and Malcolm are going to talk to Chabra. Where is Gil going?!? 

29:07 - ....how did Donahue get the coke into the cheetah? Was there a release thingy (like in a piggy bank) that Malcolm just elected not to use in the panic of the moment? 

29:14 - “What else would you hide in a cheetah?” hahahahahaha

29:40 - “No. No. Only if I got the dose wrong.” Yikes. Malcolm is operating in full panic mode here. This is not good for his mental health. 

30:08 - “This is the worst cooking show ever.” hahaha this was hilarious but cooking show? What? Do I not watch enough of those? Because I don’t see the link. 

30:38 - The moment when Malcolm looks at Dani with fear. He thinks he just killed Chabra and he’s terrified that Dani is looking at him with hatred. :( 

30:46 - The two seconds when Malcolm thinks he killed someone. Look at his face. That boy is broken. Again - if he doesn’t have a full on mental breakdown soon I’m going to be so annoyed with the writers because NO HUMAN CAN WITHSTAND THIS MUCH TRAUMA THIS QUICKLY - WITHOUT ANY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT - AND COME OUT FUNCTIONAL. 

31:03 - “I do not miss drugs.” :O Dani :( Sweetie <3 Ugh. This line was heartbreaking because it hurts to remember that Dani had a drug problem. But it’s also really great. She was just in front of 1 gram of cocaine. She didn’t grab for it. It didn’t reawaken the urge to use in her. She was strong enough to say “I don’t miss this life” and say it OUT LOUD in front of Malcolm. <3 Friendship. She’s starting to trust Malcolm more. This is good....until she finds out about Endicott. 

31:45 - Wait. If Birdie knew about Endicott and Jessica.....does she know about Gil?!?!

31:49 - “Trust but verify.” That’s such a heartbreaking way to live. I hate that she has to live in a world without trust because of what Martin did. I want Jessica to be happy. So so badly. 

32:06 - .....how did Jessica find out about the book?!!?! Seriously.

32:17 - “Mummy”. Mrs. Milton is alive?!?! What. OMG. So....but how? Jessica is living in the Milton family home. Jessica is rich. But Birdie has been cut off from the family money. However, it’s clear from this conversation that Jessica and her mother aren’t on speaking terms. So how did this work? When did Jessica move into the Milton family home and why? Where is Jessica’s money coming from? Did Jessica invest her trust fund money smartly and make a fortune? Does Jessica still have access to the Milton family bank accounts?!? AND WHERE IS JESSICA’S DAD?!!? I WANT MORE INFORMATION FEDAK. 

32:49 - Malcolm is his mother’s son. Look at this. Jessica is so hurt by what Birdie has done. However, Jessica sighs, takes a breath and helps her little sister out at the cost of causing herself pain. Malcolm would do the exact same for Ainsley. He has. 

33:40 - “And do we need to talk about last night?!?” Gil has been different this season. Less soft. More strict. 

33:51 - Look at how Gil stares at Dani here. He’s annoyed and concerned. Concerned because she was in close proximity to drugs last night. Annoyed because he created a monster. Gil put together is badass, sarcastic daughter with his unstable, awkward son and they are creating a headache for him.

34:41 - “even for consultants?” hahaha

36:50 - The irony that our killer of the week is a woman who is in pain, feels disfigured, and murders in revenge is so so thick. 

37:18 - “It’s enough to drive anyone insane”.....like the emotional pain that Malcolm is currently suffering from?

38:42 - “The best revenge is letting him live like this.” The moment Malcolm realized that Ainsley was manipulating him. Look at the hurt and fear on his little face. :( 

39:00 - Ugh. I can’t tell who’s manipulating who in this whole Capshaw+Martin relationship but it’s all gross. I swear if they become romantic I will puke. These two are a psychopathic match made in heaven. 

40:08 - I could write essays upon essays about this final scene but I need to sleep. So it’s going into point form without time stamps:

First off - Halston Sage and Tom Payne give us an AMAZING performance in this scene and they deserve an Emmy for it. Seriously. 

Look at how Ainsley walks into the room. She’s self-satisfied. She feels no remorse. She’s pleased that Malcolm has been suffering. 

Look at how utterly empty Malcolm is when he greets Ainsley. This boy is in shock. He’s so deeply hurt and he just had one of his greatest fears confirmed - Ainsley is like Martin. 

“Do you have any idea what you put me through?!?” This. Yes, Malcolm is upset and hurt but there’s a part of me that genuinely thinks this question isn’t rhetorical. There’s a part of me that thinks Malcolm is desperately trying to get Ainsley to admit to feeling remorse so that he can convince himself that his baby sister isn’t gone forever. 

“Do you?” Ainsley is mad. She has a right to be. Malcolm did lie to her. He probably should’ve told her the truth. HOWEVER, if Ainsley was a functional adult - she would’ve just confronted Malcolm about it. She has every right to be pissed but her behaviour has been downright petty, juvenile, and cruel. 

“Underestimated me. For months.” Is this the root of Ainsley’s anger? She mentioned something similar in 1x6 when Jessica and Malcolm tried to stop her from visiting Martin. She resents Jessica and Malcolm for treating her like a child. For trying to protect her from Martin. On one hand, I understand - that’s probably suffocating and frustrating. On the other hand, Ainsley’s acting like a child so....why wouldn’t they treat her like one?

“I have given up everything for you!! I don’t even know who I am anymore.” This breaks me. Malcolm is screaming through tears. He’s so utterly broken (this doesn’t count as a mental breakdown Fedak....you better give me more). Malcolm is rightfully frustrated that Ainsley doesn’t acknowledge that he literally threw out his moral code to protect her. That when this gets out - his relationship with his only real friends since he was 10 years old (JT and Dani) will probably want nothing to do with him. Malcolm probably thinks that Gil will abandon him WHEN the Endicott thing comes out. Malcolm has thrown his fragile mental health down the drain to protect Ainsley. He thinks he’s a monster. Yes. Malcolm made the choice to protect Ainsley. Ainsley doesn’t have to be grateful. She doesn’t have to respect his decision. But acknowledging that his decision was made out of love would sure help. Malcolm wanted to be a good big brother so badly that he threw away his sense of self.

“Protect me? Or control me?” Wow. Okay. I get it. Ainsley feels controlled which is bad for someone who likes being in control. But Malcolm was never trying to control Ainsley. Malcolm was trying to control a situation. Not a person. Is what Malcolm did right? No, lying to Ainsley wasn’t a great choice. But telling her the truth also wasn’t a great choice. He was damned either way. 

“For someone who spent the last few decades trying to recover from being gaslight; it’s ironic how quickly you resorted to it.” Uncalled for. Was Malcolm gaslighting Ainsley? Technically, yes. HOWEVER, one of the main criteria for gaslighting is that the gaslighter is aware that they’re gaslighting someone. I honestly don’t think Malcolm realized he was gaslighting Ainsley - look at his face when she mentions it: he looks heartbroken. BESIDES. How is AINSLEY NOT GASLIGHTING MALCOLM RIGHT NOW?!?! “That’s exactly what Dad would say.” She’s trying to convince Malcolm that he’s just like Martin. She’s made him believe that she murdered a second person. She made him an accomplice to her fake murder. She knowingly continued with this ruse after he came clean and told her the truth. And he was nothing but supportive and protective. Malcolm helped her hide a body. Why is Ainsley playing the victim?! 

Look at the torture on Malcolm’s face right before he apologizes to Ainsley for lying to her. This boy is being gaslight and he doesn’t even realize it. 

FURTHERMORE I DON’T RECALL AINSLEY APOLOGIZING TO MALCOLM FOR MAKING HIM 1) HIDE A BODY, 2) LIE TO THEIR MOM, 3) LIE TO GIL, 4) AN ACCOMPLICE TO A SECOND (FAKE) MURDER, 5) LYING TO MALCOLM ABOUT THE SECOND MURDER. She just says, “Maybe it was a little over the top.” Come on. No. 

“I appreciate that.” SERIOUSLY. Ainsley doesn’t even have the curtesy to say “I’m sorry too.” or “I know you did what you thought was best”?!? Her response feels bitter and angry. She doesn’t forgive Malcolm. She’s still livid despite the fact that her brother is literally breaking apart in front of her. There’s no questioning the genuineness of Malcolm’s apology. That’s sincere pain and remorse. 

This whole scene is super disturbing because Malcolm is on the verge of tears. He’s visibly upset. Yet - Ainsley is channeling a quiet, disassociating anger (similar to what she looked like right before she murdered Endicott). She’s completely consumed by anger. She’s not acting rationally and it’s really disconcerting to watch the contrast between the two siblings. 

“I had to make sure that you were never going to mess with my head again.” .....you know, a functional adult human (hell, even a half-functional adult human) would just verbally confront their sibling about it. They probably wouldn’t fully trust or forgive their sibling right away but they wouldn’t pull a stunt as cruel and malicious as Ainsley just pulled on Malcolm. The problem with Ainsley’s behaviour vs. Malcolm’s is this: Ainsley is intentionally hurting Malcolm out of anger. Ainsley wants revenge. Malcolm reacted out of fear and panic to protect Ainsley. Malcolm just wants to be a good big brother. Neither of them are perfectly in the right but Ainsley is so so so out of line. 

“You need to lighten up. We got away with it.” Ainsley is a serial killer. Say it from the rooftops. This is the first time she’s shown an emotion other than anger/disassociation all episode. Ainsley is happy that they got away with it. Malcolm is crumpling under the guilt and grief but Ainsley is happy. 

“No one does this murder stuff better than us.” Holy shit. I can’t. Malcolm looks so so so heartbroken here. He just realized that his sister is gone forever. AND AINSLEY damn. This girl needs some serious help. She’s going to kill again. She liked it the first time. I bet you she slaughtered the pig just to get her fix. She could’ve boughten the pig’s blood from a butcher shop or something but I bet you she killed the pig herself. And I bet you she liked it.

Hoxley is a flamboyant gay and a cocky profiler. That’s just a fact. 

I can’t. Alan Cummings will always be the villain from Spy Kids to me. I don’t know how I’m going to take Hoxley seriously. 

Yoooooo Endicott’s head is creepy af. 

Damn. This isn’t good. Hoxley is going to ruin Malcolm’s life. I can feel it. 

Okay. I loved this episode. I have a lot of feelings about it (obviously). I’m so bitter that we have to wait until April 13th for the next episode. See you guys next time. If you read this far - thanks for hanging out. 

[suspiciouslypinkrosegarden]

I love Uyu can we get some Uyu interacting with other cmcs? It’s strawberry milk time

YES and she loves you 💋

Uyu is my main CMC paired with Saeran for those who don’t know! I’m currently planning to introduce her properly as soon as I can and begin posting some writing for her, but one step at a time! I still have a decent amount of her story to plan out and consider still, so she’s up for changes as her development occurs. I’ll be honest, I’m still unfamiliar with many parts of her, but that’s ok and why we’re here learning. Overtime, everything will be more solid. This is probably my most in-depth anything I’ve done for her 00” so again, changes might happen.

Uyu is the type of person to gravitate towards open and honest people, even if their honesty can be seen as bitter or harsh. She wants true friendships, and she can’t lie worth a darn, so she’d rather find others who are honest too. She likes tight, close friendships which create safe spaces for communication and feel more like a family. She’s quiet and shy at first mostly, but make no mistake her sense of humor is probably worse than Seven’s. She is also the type to ride or die for true friends, and she’ll latch on hopefully to what might seem lost sometimes for the better or for the worse.

As you didn’t specify any CMCs, I’m just going to attack yours with how their dynamics might work >:] with 100% honesty as I seriously admire your ability to write complex CMCs/OCs with genuine weaknesses, making them much more human. Some characteristics would definitely clash with her TT, but I actually find it neat. Nothing is ever perfect!

With Cannelle, I can actually see them getting along well if Cannelle is comfortable letting some walls down, especially because at first glance we’re going to see “oh hey! Another Lolita”! That would definitely be a reason for Uyu to initially approach her, starting off with a simple “oh my god I love your dress”. Cannelle’s aesthetic is something I associate with teddy bears, and Uyu is too going to be obsessed with that. Cannelle reminds me of the vibes of the song “We Fell In Love In October”, the fall mixed with elements of warm candles and fireplaces, tea and cookies. Let’s for sure make an Uyu Cannelle picnic real please. I actually think our two girls here can bond over insecurities, as Uyu is the type to let them as well as her anxieties run her over far more often than she’d like to admit. Uyu is always happy to dive into deep conversations with people she can really trust, and if Cannelle feels it’s ok, she’s always there for these kind of talks. Uyu also feels rather undeserving of a lot of things, so if there isn’t any fakeness between the two once they feel ok and ready, I think they could have a genuine friendship and feel understood in some areas.

With Emeraude, Uyu would be rather entranced by her features in all honesty. Girl is a stunner 0-0. Something tells me the two can be rather rougher in their senses of humor with one another, almost like Vanderwood’s reaction to most of what’s going down. Words cannot DESCRIBE how much I adore Emeraude as a character, because she’s genuinely so intriguing, but with honesty, I don’t think Uyu could get along perfectly with her unless Emeraude feels up to being more honest. Another trait Uyu has that can be for the better or for the worse is her sense of empathy for others, which can either be used to yank her strings like a puppet until she’s had enough or can be used to genuinely connect with others. She does “forgive” some bad behaviors to an extent because she understands what it’s like to be influenced by toxic environments and situations, within definite reason. But, the catch is, she won’t stay if you’re not at least lying saying you want to change. On the being a mercenary, she will actually find that pretty interesting and pester her maybe, that is, if Emeraude is proving to be on their side at that moment.

For the negatives here, Uyu actually can’t stand fake people or people with genuine narcissistic tendencies (especially as she looks down on herself to the point where narcissism just seems sort of disgusting and unfathomable). Despite this, she does understand we often wear masks to get through life, she’d rather never wear one at all. Because of course, she used to, and has dealt with things in the past that lead her away from people who behave this way. She tends to put a little too much trust in others who promise her their friendship, loyalty and honesty, so in Emeraude’s BEs, she’s going to be pretty damn heart broken if they build a good friendship. She can be emotional and takes no shit, so expect some very harsh words on her part, even if some she did not or truly could not mean.

[saintobio]

Ai, I am 100% being honest when I say that your r&j fic has to be be one of my favorite pieces yet. Just everything about it as a whole, even though I am able to recite romeo & juliet and macbeth drunk due to how many times i have read it and will keep reading i already knew how it was going to end, however the fact that you took your time to incorporate modern english, adding changes from the original story and throwing in your own twists making the story even more tragic, aND THE WHOLE TOJI USING MEGUMI’S LOVE AS A PAWN?? I BAWLED MY EYES OUT.

THE SCENE WHERE SATORU COMFORTS MC IN THE DUNGEON AND MC SEES HIS TRUE NATURE?? MAAM I CRIED EVEN HADDER I COULD BARLEY EVEN SEE MY PHONE SCREEN

THE ENDING WITH FERAL CHILD MEGUMI GRIEVING AND GOING A LITTLE OFF THE DEEP END IN THE CHURCH WHERE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED AND THEN WENT STABBY MODE?? AT THAT POINT MY SISTER TEXTED ME TO STOP CRYING SO LOUDLY

I loved the way you used the characters and as the reader being able to see those said characters in those be in positions (i.e. Satoru as a caring narcissistic prince/older brother waiting in line for power in order to ensure change from the traditional monarchy and tyrant that are their parents, Toji the tyrant coming into power and using any and all available pawns, including his son and his feelings, in order to ensure the downfall of the Gojō family to gain its power as a King, i can keep going but this is starting to get too long lol) It had reminded me why I love with your writing all over again and i hope you could do another historical or royal inspired au in the near future

(this kinda long lol sorry TLDR: me simping on main for your writing)

once again you have blessed our feeds with your writing, and all i can say is hand in marriage please 😌🤲

stoppp i actually am crying thanks so much for reading r+j !! it’s also my fav piece so far bc i enjoyed the concept + the early modern english it’s nothing like my other fics so it’s very new to me. and plsss ?? i’m so glad to know that you liked it 😭 also when u pointed out all the details i’ve put such as toji taking advantage of megumi’s love (pain) and then satoru trying to pull a macbeth for a good cause lmao i loved reading ur rant i’ll def keep this close to my heart

and NOW ok i was crying but then i checked the memes and i cant stop laughingjfnj THESE MEMES ARE MAD FUNNY ESP THE YUUTA ONES ?? PLSSJD ILY !!

then you decided to hurt me when you added this pic bc now i’m thinking abt how this is megumi when he walked towards y/n’s deathbed on the tenth act and like he just gives up bc the girl he loves is gone and i’m in so much pain god

anyways thanks again for reading and for sharing ur excitement w me !! <33 i highly appreciate it :’)

[njeancastro316]

Mend the bridges... Part 1

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I’m back!🤪 Yes this is the continuation of Narcissistic Cannibal. This will be divided in 2 parts. Because it would be tooooo long 🤦🏻‍♀️. The next part will be better . I promise 🙏 also I will make my masterlist so help me God. I know it’s difficult keeping up with me and my snippets. I love comments and feedback. I change things to benefit my story telling peeps so dont get mad if something doesn’t correlate with the series.Anything is possible when magic is involved remember that too.

Bold: Thoughts , spells , memories

Kudos to the gifs creators... my god I love ya guys . Very visual author here 😜

Characters: Elijah😍 , female reader, Klaus, a bit of Hayley and Freya.

Warnings: None

English is not my first language. I cannot stress this enough. I apologize for any grammar mistakes. I always have fun writing even though I’m nowhere near there yet. It never dampens my spirits . I hope you enjoy .😘🤗🙌🏻

@hellotvshowtrash @maldita-world @moon-child-writer @ronniemikaelson @raemikaelson @auroracalisto @eternityunicorn @elejahfanfic @xxwritemeastoryxx @soul-revoir @thequalitylady @nikmikaelsonswife @multifandom-girlie @mikaelson-emma @petrova-banz @alwaysfangirlingish @dumble-daddy @moon-ascendant

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Niklaus sat on his study having a drink , pondering on the days events . Rebekah had been returned to them and was save and sound , Elijah was still in his room where he left him and Titan had imprinted on his daughter making him Hope’s new protector ,leaving Y/N somewhat defenseless .

“Love wait” he called Y/N on her wait out . “Yes brother” her nose was red from crying . “You are always welcome to stay in the compound if you want to be closer to Titan” he smiled. “That sounds wonderful Niklaus and thank you for the offer but I’m afraid I must decline. I know I’m not welcome at least by one of the members of this family and I do not wish to sever our ties further. Titan is where he needs to be”she paused “at your daughter’s side protecting her from harm just as fate intended”. Klaus nodded solemnly . “I just...didn’t think it hurt this much , he’s been with me for centuries I mean Elijah and I saved him and We ...she stopped herself the sound of his name brought her pain. Her features changed taking a serious tone “he will be cloaked for any stranger who enter this home only family will be able to see him , if he perceives a threat towards Hope he will kill on sight ... just take good care of him Niklaus please promise me”. “I give you my word love” he closed the space between them and pressed his forehead against hers. “If you have a need for me , I will be here” he watched as she left .

Taking a sip of his drink he lifted his eyes to the door where Elijah stood.

“Niklaus I”... the elder sibling started only to be interrupted “What the hell was that Elijah”?! Klaus roared breaking the glass on his hand. “You are lucky that it was Y/N. If it would have been me I would’ve beheaded you and put your head on a pike. How could you treat her so poorly to even have the audacity to suggest that I have laid with her Klaus growled. I’ve never looked at that woman with any eyes other than a sister. “Brother I... “ No” Klaus cut him off . “Tell me the truth ? Are you jealous of the bond I have with her ? Because yes we have a bond but not the one you think , we are bound by our fathers and their mistreatment”. The elder original didn’t seem to understand. “Do you know why she lost it , why her power was unleashed? . Because you reminded her of her father” .

Elijah eyes widen in confusion.

“Her father displayed her to his friends . I do not know if it was the first time or one of many . But what I stumbled upon that day was appalling to say the least.He fondled her and called her names while she fought him. He pinned her like you did while he told her she was a savage, a whore just like her mother and when I spoke her eyes pleaded at me to save her that’s when I saw her loose control . I saw with my own eyes how she killed 7 men with no effort. You know first hand how her father treated her. How could you Elijah ? In a thousand years I’ve never seen you treat a woman that way especially Y/N”Elijah looked at his hands then back at his brother silent he had no defense what he had done was unforgivable. “That’s why we are bonded because she reminded me of Mikael. She is a strong witch and one of our best allies . Now I don’t know how you’ll do it but you will make amends with her”.

“Niklaus I cannot” Elijah body shook with rage.

“And Why bloody hell not Elijah ?! Give me one good reason” the hybrid shouted.

“I dont know !!” Elijah screamed his wooden colored eyes turned black . “All I know is every time she’s before me , every time I hear her voice I feel this rage , this ... this... hate that I cannot control . I want her blood , I don’t understand where it comes from brother . I can’t explained it but it’s there as tangible as that glass you just broke .I don’t even recall my time with her, even those fleeting memories I have of her ,I cannot seem to hold on to. Klaus was in deep thought this was not normal if memory served him right Y/N was one of the most important women on Elijah’s life. “Why did you ended it with her” ? The hybrid asked . “I”.... Elijah went to respond but found himself with no answer. “I don’t know, I dont think I ever did ”. “You realized that this is not normal , that someone has been in your head brother” Niklaus said watching his brother tensed .

“But that’s impossible we cannot be compelled” Elijah stated the fact . “True but you can be spelled brother” came from a female voice .

“Ahhh Freya nice of you to join us , it seems I was right our brother suffers from a magical affliction can you help him”.

Freya nodded. “Come with me”. They walked to her room . “Elijah I need your blood”she handed him a dagger which he took and made a nice clean cut on his hand, his blood pouring on a metal basin. “Ummm do you have anything of hers brother” she looked at Elijah. “I do not”. “Lucky for you I do” Niklaus smiled giving Freya a few strands of Y/N hair . “You have to thank your niece for that she was playing with Y/N and seemed enthralled with her hair”. Freya sat down and started chanting “Revela incantare veritas ... Revela incantare veritas ... Revela incantare veritas”! Freya’s body shook strained by the power passing through her body that soon her eyes started to bleed .Klaus and Elijah paced back and forth . “Stop Freya!”Elijah started to worry . “Revela incantare veritas ... Revela incantare veritas ... Revela incantare veritas” Freya screamed and stopped. “Sister”? Klaus called. “Brother”she panted while looking at Elijah “you have been cursed . I’ve never seen this magic before this is old magic older than Dahlia, Esther this is ancient magic, it is ... it has to be”. “Curse ,I don’t understand who did this to me?” “I don’t know but it’s not only you Y/N suffers the same curse . All I know is that whom ever it was Elijah they didn’t want the two of you together. They wanted you to hate each other and for what I gathered they succeeded”.

“Is there anything that can be done?”Klaus spoke . “They cannot tolerate themselves in the same room with out being at each other’s throats , especially Elijah he is mostly affected and he triggers Y/N”. “Well”... the witch paused deep in thought. “I can use your bracelet with a calming spell to diminish the curse effect so that when you are near her you won’t have the urge to rip her head off , maybe it’ll help with your memories as well”. “That will be most useful”. “I’ll get right on it”. “Thank you sister” Elijah came close to his elder sister and kissed her forehead “Please rest, promise me” . “I will as soon as I’m done”.

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“Niklaus... a word. You said that Hope was playing with Y/N so I can asume that she’s been here in the compound”. Elijah met with Klaus his bracelet newly spelled.

“This is temporary brother but it will help you”Freya said while placing the piece of jewelry on his wrist. “I don’t know her well but she’s noble brother like you . I can sense it. If this war is to be won we need people like her”. “I agree” he spoke softly “Thank you sister” Elijah left to meet with Klaus.

“Yes Elijah she was here and she met Hope and before you put my decision to contest let me tell you . You are wrong she’d never hurt Hope. I dare say that fell in love with her as soon as she saw her , it was a sweet sight to behold”.

Klaus smiled remembering Y/N s face when she saw Hope. “She’s beautiful ...brother oh my god” Y/N put her hands on her mouth in awe. “You want to hold her?” Hayley asked. “Yes please!”she answered her excitement getting the best of her. Hayley carefully placed Hope in Y/Ns arms and Y/N melted. “You’re adorable little niece. I have wished for you for centuries” she whispered. “You will bring all of us together my love. Nik she’s perfect” she kissed Hope’s forehead. While the baby girl played with a lock of Y/N’s hair. “Now little niece , I have someone who wants to meet you. Revela” she spoke while going down on her knees. “Oh my God!!”Hayley shouted. “Calm down luv” . “What do you mean calm down thats a panther , a big ass panther”. “It’s s ok Hayley , Titan is my companion he’s friendly”. Hayley looked at Klaus and he nodded. Titan carefully walked towards Y/N and Hope. “Isn’t she beautiful Titan”? Yellow slit eyes inspected the child before him and purred in agreement. Hope little hands reached for Titans whiskers and pulled blue eyes set on yellow and Titan bowed down to the infant making Y/N gasp. “What is it love?” “Niklaus he ... he... inprinted on Hope” . “What?!” Hayley asked shocked. “He has ... it’s done”. Y/N bowed her head to her companion and walked towards Klaus and Hayley and handed Hope to them. “Are you certain?” she went on her knees to her long time friend and he only purred and licked her face. “So be it ... nothing will reverse it , protect her and this family with your life if need be . I’ll miss you my friend” . Y/n’s heart sank at the sudden overwhelming feeling of sadness that took hold. She had to leave. “My Titan ... always and forever” she bowed and rubbed her body against the big cat.

“So you see brother .Today she’s been stripped of everything she’s held dear . She will need you , someone she” .... Klaus struggled to find the right word ... “appreciates”not daring to say love.

“Niklaus I don’t think that’s wise, she killed me ”

“Oh it is wise Elijah because you deserved it Any way while we have gained a very ancient and powerful ally , a protector for Hope ,Y/N has lost her companion surrendering him with out question. Titan will never leave my daughter and he ...

“He will never return to Y/N yes I understand ” Elijah finished for Nik feeling a tinge of sorrow.

“She tried not to show it but it broke her , I know what that animal means to her and how much she adores him” .

“We rescued him from certain death , he symbolizes what we promised to each other of course she adores... ” Elijah stopped himself looking at his bracelet Freya’s spell was suppressing the curse and he started to remember things. Niklaus nodded “Go to her brother and mend the bridges” leaving Elijah alone to contemplate how in the hell he was going to make peace with Y/N.