#i’m not done yet with everything else
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anyways guys. i’ve been getting into dc
#myart#dc comics#gotham rogues#rogues gallery#professor pyg#joker#ragdoll#jervis tetch#mad hatter#the penguin#oswald cobblepot#i’m not done yet with everything else#just need a break
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Was always worried about the angst of unrequited love, had never realized the sheer amount of comedic potential that it has.
Imagine one-sided Superbat where Clark is fully aware that Bruce has a crush on him but is being his repressed self about it, and Clark is just like, “I’m not gonna touch that :) you’re going to figure that out for yourself, buddy, and in the meantime, I’m just going to have a good time and be best friends with you as you inevitably pull yourself together enough to either fall out of love or to confess :) and I’ll just let you down gently because I care about you :)” but he absolutely 100% is using it to his advantage in the meantime. His puppy dog eyes had never been so effective before. He’s gotten out of Monitor Duty three times in the past month.
#altho tbh personally if *I* were writing this all out I WOULD make requited superabt endgame#because it’s more fun#like clark is slowly falling in love with bruce while bruce is slowly coming to terms with being in love with clark#like bruce fell both faster and harder because. have u seen clark. who wouldn’t fold#meanwhile the justice league tease the shit out of bruce#and i picture clark as being a hell of a good actor because he HAS to be for his identity to work even more so than bruce or anyone else#so he’s very much able to keep his own feelings quiet when he realizes that he’s returning bruce’s love#and hey maybe u CAN bring the angst full circle back into this premise#like 1) clark believes somehow that people will inevitably fall out of love w him and that includes bruce#and 2) bruce when he finally figures out his own feelings for clark (way later than everyone else figured out him) probs realizes that clark#knew this whole damn time and didn’t say a word. and bruce is both justifiably mortified and falsely certain that clark does not return his#feelings because he’d have said smth by now if he did#even tho atp i would have clark return his feelings#also if u don’t believe clark wouldn’t 100% be a little shit about bruce’s feelings may i just present#literally everything he’s done to lois ever in every superman canon ever#<- i’m not saying that like he bullies lois or would bully bruce in this fic premise bc they both give it as good as they’ve got#and they very much pull a lot over clark so it all evens out or even falls in the other’s favor more often than not#anyway. yeah that’s my one (1) superbat fic premise.#part of the reason why i LOOOVE superbat and clois but haven’t written jackshit for either of them yet is that#i feel like there’s sooooooo many fics for both of them that i could not explore smth new with them ykwim#er well in the case of lois not just fics but like sooo many clois canons with their own takes and exploratons#superbat#superman#clark kent#batman#bruce wayne#simu's two cents#dc#also i wouldn’t touch the batkids with a ten foot pole.
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HAPPY FRIDAY FRIENDZ !!! there’s something so lovely about this day, it always feels like a breath of fresh air. the office seems more upbeat and the underlying buzz of excitement for the weekend ahead is truly the best ! i hope you all have a wonderful day !🌟 ⸜(ˆᗜˆ˵ )⸝ 🌟
#besides kitties .. penguins are my utmost favorite animals ! they are so cutesy :3#and always dressed to impressed mwehehe#i’m sooooo looking forward to this weekend bc i can finally chill 😮💨#hoping to catch up on lots of sleep (•̀ᴗ•́ )و#might post this kid fic today before it dies in the drafts like everything else …. need to clear those out soon as we reached a cozy 350#i am sorry to the friendz that have joined my ask game and i have not delivered yet :c#this week at work has left me v sleepy and i don’t want to do them half assed#i promise i’ll get them all done as soon as i can ^_^#love u all ! 🌟#little joy of the morning : my boss brought me iced coffee . . 🥺#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims#ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ — ✩ daily yap.
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I am fighting for my life to be mentally stable and it’s not working
#personal*#jess talks#trigger warning cus I’m feeling really low and might vent#but genuinely I want to give up#I don’t want to exist#I feel like a burden and a scrounger#I realised yesterday that everything I have is because of someone else#I haven’t earnt anything for myself or done anything with my life#I complain that I can’t support myself#yet I make no effort to fix that#im scared of my insecurity to do anything#I’m scared I’m not good enough#I’m scared to exist in my own home#it doesn’t feel like my home#I haven’t felt ‘at home’ since before uni#I’ve moved house 6 times in the past 7 years#I never feel secure or safe#and I feel responsible#I wish I could just go get a good paying job and support myself and my family#all I want is my independence back like I had at uni#but even at uni I was living off of a loan I’ll never be able to pay off#my whole existence is a waste#I’m contemplating giving up on my art and business because it’s getting me no where#I might as well give up entirely#I can’t see any positive resolutions in sight and I feel so helpless#but all I’m doing is feeling sorry for myself#my parents are sm worse off than I am currently yet I’m the one having panic attacks and terrified to leave my room??#I’m gonna be 26 still living with my parents achieving nothing for myself#with no relationship experience and not an inclining of self respect#grow up Jess
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yk, for someone who’s going on their 2nd (?) year of brainrot, i haven’t made nearly as much progress in hollow knight as you’d expect
#i’m on my first run and i still have yet to kill lurien#i decided to do *everything else* cus i was intimidated by the watcher knights#and then come my senior year; i didn’t have time for anything but school#but now that i’m done with that; i finally get to pick up the game again!!! and…#…i still gotta beat those watcher knights.#it actually takes me So Long to finish games tho it’s honestly kinda hilarious#i’ve never beaten minecraft or botw; i’m still on year 1 of stardew valley#in fact; now that i think abt it; the only game i ever remember beating is my friend pedro. that’s a really short game tho#so yea; im a little silly#a little goofy#but i wont let myself touch silksong until i finish hollow knight#stan’s forum
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hey if u guys r sad about ofmd and want another show with gay people to watch you should consider watching Deadloch. It’s really good it’s really really good uh it might get a second season if the creators decide to do that.
if you watch good omens you’ll be able to watch Deadloch they’re on the same service. Uhhhh One of the actors from ofmd is there shes one half of the main duo (the other half is played by Kate Box who’s an amazing actor and Dulcie is now one of my fav characters ever) gets to wear an open Hawaiian shirt for like 3 of the 8 episodes which is a bonus. It’s extremely gay and it’s fun and beautifully written and no queer characters die and it’s satisfying and funny and Please watch it I’m begging you please watch itPLEASE
#ofmd#deadloch#PLEASEEEEEE please Im begging Im on my hands and my knees PLEASE WATCH THIS SHOW#It’s not shy about being gay it practically opens with gay sex ok please pleaseee watch it#It’s got so many amazing characters every character is so well written it’s a detective satire that ends on a pretty openly anti cop note#The main characters work so well together and the actors have such good chemistry and the storytelling is so good and well done#Literally my only my singular criticism of the entire show is that I think the lighting in some scenes could be brighter so you can#Actually tell what’s going on bc it’s sort of hard to at certain points#THATS MY ONLY CRITICISM AT ALL ITS THAT GOOD#Ive watched it 10 times now I’m still finding new stuff and connecting things it hasn’t gotten old yet#It’s seriously like unironically a masterpiece of a show. I would like it just as much if everything else was the same but the characters#Were straight#Though given how much of it is tied to gay and specifically lesbian culture it would be sort of hard to do that LOL#but still. like hypothetically. If it was straight I would not like it any less I would still be just as crazy about it
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for anyone who wants one, here is my tda vegas schedule that i made!
all times in et! (3 hours ahead of las vegas)
#wednesday isn’t done yet#but everything else is in there!#anons help me out on anyone/groups i’m missing
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my job would be enjoyable if my colleagues didn’t mind me asking questions cos i’m still learning and so scared
#like oh the new person doesn’t understand everything yet? wow they must be stupid#i hate having a job i wish i had just done another uni degree but 1) i wouldnt know what and 2) i was too scared of all the stress i endured#cos i’m insane and need the best grades in everything or i explode and i didnt want to put up with that pressure again#but tbh i enjoyed studying way more than having a job#i genuinely hate my life atm lol#i also hate how socially awkward i am but that something else i need to deal with
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do you ever just suddenly hate everyone and lie to them even if you feel like you’re being a fucking piece of shit
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#I’m a d1 hater man wtf#My whimsy from earlier today completely died#Istg I was so happy and laughing#And you know what it’s probably bc I broke my nail even further and my nail glue isn’t there yet.#Why am I so obsessed w my nails. Like yeah they’re natural and long and my beautiful pretty claws#But they keep breaking#And it’s bc of everyone around me. But I shouldn’t be saying that no my friends aren’t brutes#They’re not bastards who mean to inconvenience me#But they can be too rough for me. I’m just a rlly calm person when I’m not excited and on the same vibe (1/2 of the time)#Goddd what the fuck is wrong w me im exaggerating everything and blaming everything on everyone else#I need to get better and grow as a person again I need to drop this and let go#I’ve done this before I can do it again this is just a mild inconvenience#But god why do I never break my own nails I would be so much happier#Sometimes I just want to cut them off but would I be myself without them#Why are my nails such a big part of my identity they’re just long natural nails what is my problem I’m such a whiny motherfucker#Holy shit. No. I cannot contradict myself. I am great. And everything is fine. This is just a small problem. That’s it#Oh and my nail glue just. Came in. Five seconds ago. So I guess I can fix it#Whatever I sound like I’m tweaking tf out mb chat I just wanna pour my thoughts somewhere and i feel rlly comfortable on here 😭#I’ll be posting some drawings later ig
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if teenage years are the best years of my life why am i apologising to the little girl in my head why am i fearing my family falling apart why am i failing to accept my bio family are not good for me why am i worried about grades and jobs and life why am i preparing to mourn my best friend why am i fearing growing old why do i miss what i never had why do i miss people who don’t miss me why am i disgusted by my own urges, wants and needs why do i cry over the things i love the most why do i seek comfort in fiction because reality is against me why do i fear the touch i crave why do i feel i am dying
#thinking a bit too hard now#am i even going to survive long enough to make it all ok#why does nobody see i’m a kid#also side note obsession hurts so fucking bad especially when your object causes guilt because you know it should be someone else#pattern recognition is a curse#mmm yknow what fuck it i’m gonna elaborate briefly on everything because fuck silence i deserve to be heard for once#apologising to Boo because i ruined her life#i fear my family falling apart because most of us want to die and it’s impossible to keep everyone happy it seems#the bio family kinda speaks for itself but uuuh yeah i am not accepting my sister is bad#worried about grades and jobs because there’s a lot less money at home now but my brothers won’t cut back so i have to#which is really fucking up my progress with my ed#preparing to mourn because Angel’s been dying a while now and now he’s trying to finish the job himself#fearing growing old because will i really be better or will i spend my life miserable and psychotic#i miss Vermin again#i want him back but he was never here#i miss Wade#but i don’t think he misses me#he’s been online he’s just ignoring me#disgusted because hypersexuality is a bitch and i’ve tried sliding it into conversations with people i really need to fucking talk about it#it’s starting to feel suffocating but i’m too fucking embarrassed still#like i know it’s just a coping mechanism for all the trauma but#i can’t help feeling disgusting still#i cry over my family near every day because i just want us to be fucking happy for once#i have been clinging so hard to newer headspace members to give the others a break#two of them just happened to take the form of Chris Redfield and Mewtwo#again a sex thing i want to feel like my husbands want me but i’m too scared to do anything yet#ok confession done i’m gonna regret this tomorrow but whatever who really cares
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I’m sorry I have to speak my truth lmao it’s a little bit hilarious that kingpin is stylistically offered such flourish and creativity, when writing wise he’s so fucking generic.
#another day ANOTHER POST OF ME BEING ANNOYED FUCKINGGGGG KINGPIN IS GIVEN ROOM TO BE A THREE DIMENSIONAL CHARACTER AND AARON GETS SUBTEXT#AND THE CHOICE BETWEEN NEBULOUS VILLAINY AND FAMILY HE LOVES#LIKE IM SORRY BUT EVEN W HALF THE EXPLORATION AARON IS MORE THAN TWICE AS INTERESTING AND YET WE HAVE LIKE. THREE SADMAN KINGPIN MOMENTS#IM SORRY SPIDERVERSE THIS IS THE ONE AREA I THINK WASNT THAT. INTERESTING. GIVEN HOW FRESH AND REVITALISED EVERYTHING ELSE FEELS#LIKE. COULD WE GET JUST A SMIDGE MORE INSIGHT INTO WHAT LED AARON HERE? SO WE KNOW WHAT HE GIVES UP FOR MILES?#LIKE IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE MILES I *LOVE* THAT ITS MILES BUT ITS LIKE#DEVOID OF TENSION BECAUSE WE HAVE ONLY DEVELOPED THE DIMENSION OF AARON IN REGARDS TO HIS FAMILY#LIKE DID HE GET IN TOO DEEP WAS THIS A SECURITY THING HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN HAPPENING WHERE THE PROWLER DOESNT BLINK AT BEING ASKED TO KILL#A CHILD#AGH#tunes talks critical#tunes talks spiderverse#I don’t even dislike kingpin lmao (I don’t rlly think anything of him beyond the fact I’m glad miles kicks his ass) I just think it’s almost#a bit of a waste that stylistically he’s interesting and fun to look at and watch be animated but writing wise he’s so generic#he provides nothing new to the trope motivation he’s embodying#the story his actions set into motion is interesting. the actual character is like. just stylistically interesting execution of a trope that#is just not that emotionally compelling for me. esp when nothing really NEW is being done w it
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it’s raining hard
#and i am wondering a lot of things#i feel like i simultaneously don’t process my emotions yet also everything affects me more than it affects anyone else#i wonder how many more times i will be motionless in bed all day because of something i can’t control#it’s nobody’s fault but sometimes it’s mine#and i never know until it’s too late#and every time i feel like i’m catching myself i’m just digging myself deeper into the hole#and everyone out there is in their cars and on the train and buying groceries and my roommates are laughing and yelling together#and i am just laying down thinking about all the ways i could have done it differently#even though it’s self destructive#there is no way else for me to show i care and then it gets impulsive#and i am catching myself. so i stop and i sleep for 12 hours instead#i know it comes in waves. i have the time of my life and then it crashes. i know. but knowing doesn’t make it easier#it’s the endless self sabotage of my life#i am catching myself by going to therapy and taking medication and trying very very very hard and even then. even then#i guess i am so scared of the future because i know it will still be like this#except one day i will not be able to just. sit with it#and i don’t know how i’ll handle that#i don’t want to keep apologizing for just existing but the longer i live the more i have to do it#and at some point i find myself running out of things to fix#i am asking everyone about my errors so i solve them and move on . not to change myself because of them but because i know i can be a#<- better person after#but it’s hard to tell someone when something is wrong#and i am not a machine that can be updated#i don’t know. i am tired. goodnight#and please please idk if people read these but please don’t think i write these things to gain pity or sympathy or guilt or anything#it is just my mind ramblings at not great hours
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Why is it when I always want to do something cool is when I have fiddy assignments due tomorrow night
#SPOWTS#like I wanna actually write that fucking hfjone tlou fic I’ve been trying to revamp and listen to more and fucking MOVE#but no I have other shit to do#and the thing is is that I physically cannot do anything else until these assignments are done#I will feel empty if they’re not done#and procrastinate when I stop because I remember what it’s like to have fun again#Saturdays aren’t really part of the weekend for me anymore more than it is an extension to get shit done#Sundays are usually the one day I get off but it goes by too fast and that’s assuming I get everything done by Sat night even though#I’ve been working on this stuff since Friday night#AND I’m sick so I decided to stay home ONE day instead of forcing myself to go to school#and I fall behind by so much or I simply don’t understand the work we’re doing by the next day#a never ending cycle#I’ve been tired all day yet I cannot sleep nor take that coughing medicine (which makes me fall asleep) because of all of this#it’s sad#but it’s my own little hell#I’ll probably never escape#but eh#survive till summer right?#is this a vent#I think it’s a vent#sorry gang will shut up now
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~ ~ ~
#I think I’m lonely in a way I can’t fully describe#I have a partner and friends and family but still often feel alone even when I’m with them#I don’t feel close to anyone at times and I don’t know if it’s outside circumstances or just me#like with my partner being asexual we don’t really do certain activities that I’d like to partake in more often and I can’t hold it against#them for how they do/don’t feel but at the same time I’m craving a physical connection I can’t have and am struggling#doesn’t help that I think about sex all the time nowadays and would really like to be having it and experiencing/exploring certain things#it’s not always easy to take care of oneself that way and still also try to console the ace partner apologizing for who they are#and yeah hall passes are great but only if you have someone to use it on and I’ve never had anyone want to be with me sexually#moving on to bestie I don’t feel my same love and affection being reciprocated and that sucks because I really do anything I can for him#and am like that with pretty much all of mt friends where if they need me for something I’ll be there#but a lot of the time it seems like he really only wants to talk/hang out with me if he’s at work and I can come visit with him#any time I invite him to do something with me outside of work he flakes and so it’s not even worth inviting him anymore#and yeah there’s rare times where he’ll call me a bunch in one day but it’s always just to tell me some gossip from work#not that gossip isn’t fun but still don’t you want to jus talk to me? I always want to just talk to you even if it’s about nothing at all#I’m always the one putting myself out there for him and being there for him when he calls me but I almost never get that same response back#and it’s like I know he has a family so I know he can’t always drop everything for me nor would I ever expect that but just some matching of#my energy would be nice you know? but then I feel guilty/selfish because I feel like I shouldn’t ask that of him when he does have a life#away from work. and I mean I guess I do too but it’s different because partner and I don’t have kids and don’t do much aside from sit around#together or have tea or other things most often done at home. and I don’t live with partner full time yet so I also still have other freedom#outside of just being with them. and other responsibilities I take care of but not on the same level as a wife and kids I guess#idk now I just feel like I’m whining but tbh all this stuff is weighing on me and just making me feel really shitty#I don’t know how to fix these issues without sounding like a selfish bitch and I’m obviously not going to cut anyone off but I don’t really#see any other solutions forming either. so it’s like I guess I’ll just keep my mouth shut and keep feeling bad until the end of time since#that’s the easiest thing to do and then no one else is hurt or upset aside from me#I just feel like I’m destined to float through life never getting back what I need from my relationships but still giving everything because#I don’t know any other way to be. I don’t know how to set boundaries even for myself so I’ll just keep giving and giving until I’m dead#and yeah I guess I am still a lot happier than I used to be and I appreciate the people in my life#just sometimes feels like they don’t really appreciate me back is all#so now I have to lay here next to partner and have all this shit running in my mind and try to get over it on my own#reasonably I should just go to bed but the loneliness is gnawing at me and idk what to do to make it go away
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(part of the ‘Wife at First Sight Series’)
For the first time in a long time, Simon feels as if he’s walking on eggshells
He’s 6’4”, easily over 200 pounds of bulking muscle, strikes fear into the heart of each and every enemy he comes across (should they live to tell the tale that is), and yet he feels as though he’s tiptoeing, practically dancing around the issue he refuses to address
Yet you make him feel this way
It’s been months now, of this dance you still haven’t realized you’re apart of, shining on centre stage under the constant spotlight of Simon Riley’s attention, rather than one of the background performers as you seem to believe
He feels as though he’s done everything he can to get the point across to you, other than literally getting down on one knee and asking you those four special words he can’t seem to get himself to speak out loud
As easy as it is to pretend you two truly are husband and wife ‘til death do you part, he’s instead having to watch you leave base in exchange for your lonely flat each night, reminded of the fact that he’s not ballsy enough to just come out and say it to you
You make the Lieutenant nervous for fucks sake, something he hasn’t truly felt in so long he’s grasping for straws, searching for a life raft in these uncharted waters to help him stay afloat
That’s part of why he’s so confused when Gaz finally joins him and Soap in the gun range, landing a friendly smack across the taller man’s broad shoulders, saying something about how he’s ‘really happy for you LT, finally properly asked her, aye?’
“What are you goin’ on about?” Ghost practically grunts out, readjusting the weapon against his shoulder as he glances through the scope of his gun, only partly interested in what the Sergeants answer is, that is until he hears him mention your name
“Just saw her at her desk, talkin’ about how she has a wedding this weekend-” Gaz has barely finished his sentence before Ghost is whipping his skull clad head around, shoving his weapon into Soap’s arms, and beelining out of the armoury towards you, leaving a pair of chuckling Sergeants behind him
They’ve never seen their Lieutenant so whipped before. And the fact that you don’t even know you have this beast of a man wrapped around your dainty little finger makes it all the more entertaining for them
They totally haven’t taken bets on how long it takes for him to break and finally confess his feelings, and Price definitely didn’t put money down on it either
Ghost may as well float into the room on a cloud he’s feeling so overjoyed at the idea of finding you sat at your desk all pretty, chit chatting away with colleagues about the wedding you’ve finally realized he intends to give you, taking all the pressure off of him
Instead, he rounds the corner and overhears the last tidbits of your conversation, pretending as though his stomach doesn’t drop out of him and onto the floor when he realizes you’re telling your desk mate about your sisters wedding this weekend
He should’ve know better, it wouldn’t be that easy
“-not that I’m embarrassed to go without someone. That I don’t care so much about.” He hears you explain, failing to have noticed him behind you quite yet. “God knows it’s been ages since I’ve gone on an actual date anyways. But this is the first time I’m a bridesmaid, and my sister keeps saying I’m apparently the only bridesmaid without a date-”
“Well aren’t you going to bring your husband?” Your colleague asks, cutting you off. Just like everyone else on base, she knows thinks you are in fact Mrs Riley, for all intents and purposes. You open your mouth to correct her and tell her you don’t have a husband, when a deep voice comes up behind you and speaks first.
“‘Course she is.” Ghost replies for you, coming to stand behind you in your chair, sneaking a gloved hand onto your shoulder to offer a slight squeeze of acknowledgment. You lean your head back to glance up at him, offering a soft smile that melts his heart more and more each time he’s lucky enough to see it, to be the reason for it. Sensing she’s now the odd one out, your coworker quietly excuses herself and goes to find someone else to talk water cooler gossip with.
“Oh Ghost! Hi!” You say, reaching your own hand up to squeeze his in return, smile widening when you notice the crinkles next to his eyes that you hope mean he’s smiling as well under the mask. “Oh, you really don’t have to. I mean- I wouldn’t want you to waste a day off just to sit through a stranger’s wedding for who knows how many hours. I barely want to go.”
You try to joke about it, but this really has been causing you unnecessary stress. Your sister apparently doesn’t have enough wedding planning on her plate as it is, seeing as she has enough time to constantly pester you about whether you’ve secured a date yet or not, despite your answer always being no. She knows it’s been forever since you’ve dated anyone seriously, and that finding a date will be more of a chore than showing up without one and enduring your relative comments and questions.
Each time you told her no though, your mind wandered to the tall, dark, muscular man who liked to call himself your husband, imagining the looks on your family’s face if you were to show up with Ghost on your arm. But you never bothered to ask him, not wanting to force him into extending his kindness and charade of a happily married couple outside of work hours.
“I’d be with you for those ‘who knows how many hours?’” Ghost asks, quoting you, watching as you offer him a simple nod in return. “Then that’s the farthest thing from a waste o’ time in my books, love.”
As simple as that, the plan was set. Ghost would be your date to the wedding that weekend.
Now, Ghost was used to not having very much to look forward to in life. He could look forward to a hot shower occasionally, look forward to good pub food instead of mess hall dinners, look forward to a chance to sleep in a little later, simpler things of the sort.
But when you came into his life, he was suddenly looking forward to equally simple, but different things. He looked forward to reading your cute replies to his good morning and good night texts (he still never misses a single one, all these months later), looked forward to seeing your sweet smile greeting him when you arrived to work, looked forward to hearing your pleased hum when you took your first sip of whatever drink he prepared you that day. Essentially, he looked forward to seeing you.
Now though, he feels as if this weekend cannot come soon enough, finding himself practically giddy he’s looking forward to spending more time with you off base so much, feeling like a kid who’s itching to get their hands on their new Christmas gifts.
When he arrives at your flat almost a half hour too early (he just couldn’t wait anymore lovie, you can’t blame the poor man), and you open the door to greet him, he doesn’t think it’s fair to compare this to a gift under the Christmas tree.
No. It’s more like he’s won the goddamn lottery.
Standing before him, is the most beautiful, breathtaking vision he’s ever laid eyes upon in all his years. He half wonders if his knees are legitimately beginning to wobble where he stands, he feels so weak in the knees as he gazes upon you in your doorway. It’s still just you, the same woman he’s been seeing every day and dreaming of each night.
But you don’t look like you have every day these past months. Your hair is styled differently, your make up is a little more done up, and the thing that’s really got his mind reeling, is that instead of your regular work attire, you’re wearing a dress so stunning he half wonders whether or not you are the bride this evening. There’s no possible way someone so beautiful is expected to stand on the sidelines tonight, expected to be anyone apart from the star of the show, the centre of his the world.
You don’t take much notice of the way Ghost fails to greet you properly, standing outside your door and practically gawking at you, seeing as you’re preoccupied doing the same to him. His usual fatigues and black everything have been swapped out for black dress pants, a white button up shirt (your eyes definitely do not linger on the top three buttons being left undone, nope, not at all) and a black blazer, matching black surgical mask in exchange for the typical skeleton mask.
You two blushing, bumbling idiots in secret love manage to pull yourselves together enough to make the drive up to the venue, the car ride filled with laughter, stories, and too many stolen glances to count, each of you wishing you could pull the car over somewhere and jump each others bones instead.
At the venue, you go through the obligatory introductions with your family, simply so they couldn’t say you didn’t say hello at least once throughout the busy night, only partially intent on ignoring them later on. They’re left understandably stunned at the mention that the man beside you is your husband, and when your family members begin unloading question after question, the two of you manage to find a quick excuse each time to dash off, giggling and holding onto the other as you weave the growing crowd of guests, all too proud of your little inside joke.
You regretfully tell him that you’ll have to leave him to sit alone throughout the ceremony, though he insists you shouldn’t worry about it, lifting your spirits momentarily when he jokes that you should focus more on not tripping during your walk down the aisle, before the both of you are left bright red in the face at hearing him talking about you walking down an aisle, as if you don’t pretend to be married every day to begin with.
He truly doesn’t mind having to sit on the tiny foldable chairs that make up the seating for the ceremony, it’s only a small portion of the evening after all. And besides, his eyes certainly aren’t on the couple reciting their vows up at the altar. No, his gaze is on one person and one person only. From the moment the music kicked in and pairs of bridesmaids and groomsmen stepped out to walk the aisle in their matching attire and matching smiles, his eyes have been locked on you, just as yours have been locked on his.
His size certainly helped you pick him out of the crowd with more ease, finding him amongst the familiar and unfamiliar faces instantly, as though gravity was pulling your gaze in his direction alone. Later on, neither of you could even correctly point out amongst the groomsmen whose arm you were holding on to as you walked, attention only focused on each other.
Even as you stood up front, listening to your sister and new brother in law profess their love for the other, you tried your best to appear as though you were paying them your full attention, considering you were standing up at the front and all. But it was as though you could literally feel Ghost’s eyes on you the entire ceremony, unable to stop your eyes from straying towards him more times than was surely appropriate, feeling the heat of a blush creep over your cheeks every time you saw how devastatingly handsome he was today.
By the time the newlyweds are marching back down the aisle past their cheering loved ones, wedding party in tow, your eyes are no longer pretending to look anywhere other than at him. And Simon is looking back at you, but his mind is growing preoccupied, thinking of how he can finally ensure you’ll let him walk you down the aisle now.
Because in the glove compartment of the very car he drove you up here in, only inches away from your knees the entire drive, he’s tucked away a small little box, containing the exact ring you chose from the jeweller all those weeks ago. He carries it with him everywhere, eager for the moment, the opportunity to be lucky enough to truly call himself your husband and slip the band over your finger as his wife.
And he’s decided that tonight is the night he tells you.
The night he tells you this has never been a joke to him, never been anything apart from what he really wants to be true from the moment he saw you.
To call you his wife.
#teehee#please don’t be too upset at me girls and gays#I’m getting us to that big moment next i promise#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost x reader#call of duty#call of duty fanfic#call of duty fic#cod fanfic#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x you#cod simon ghost riley#cod simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon fluff#ghost x you#call of duty ghost#ghost fanfic#ghost cod#call of duty fluff#readwritealldayallnight#wife at first sight series#wife at first sight
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Liquid Smooth (Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader)
A/N: Started writing this last night...sooo happy you guys wanted a sex pollen fic! Hope it lives up to everyone's expectations! This one is (obviously) inspired by "Liquid Smooth," by Mitski. ENJOY!
Summary: A simple mission deep in a forest alone with Logan quickly gets out of hand when you just have to go and pick a flower...
Warnings: 18+ EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT MINORS DNI! Dry humping, Oral (f!receiving), Fingering, Unprotected PIV (wrap it up!), Sex Pollen (so dub!con just to be safe, but not really), Multiple orgasms, Porn Without Plot...literally, implied!age gap, cursing, friends to lovers, fem!reader/afab!reader, probably some grammatical errors, I think that's it.
Word Count: 3,797 muahaha
“I don’t need a goddamn babysitter,” you murmur as Logan thumbs through the controls of the X-Jet. “Could’ve done this by myself.”
Logan scoffs. “I’m not your babysitter, princess.” You roll your eyes at the nickname Logan has specially reserved just for you. “Charles said we’d be safer going together. He knows you can handle yourself.”
The X-Jet cruises effortlessly through the clouds. The air is still today. Calm. You and Logan are on your way to get some sort of flower that Charles claims to have extensive healing properties. It’s an easy mission. No fighting. No violence. You’re unlikely to have to use your powers at all. And yet, you’ve been paired with Logan.
It wouldn’t be a problem if you weren’t—admittedly—a little into him. Or rather, pining after him. There’s just something about the sarcasm that’s always thick in his voice; the way he squeezes himself into those thin beaters. How he’s always so self-assured, so thoroughly convinced he’s right. You just can’t help it. You want him. But he isn’t yours, and he probably never will be. He’s a little older—well, a lot, considering he’s been around forever. And you know it’s safer not to make attachments—not to fall in love.
Unfortunately, it’s a little too late for that.
But having him here with you now, alone, with no buffers…it’s overwhelming. You can smell him—that mix of tobacco and pine and musk and him. He’s suddenly everywhere, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You watch as his long fingers press different buttons, his hands gripping the steering wheel, adjusting thrusters. You stare at those fingers for far too long, your thoughts drifting to what else he can do with them. You think about him curling them deep inside you, stretching you open and—
“Everything okay?” You snap your head to face Logan, swallowing harshly as his voice pulls you back to reality.
You force a smile, nodding. “Yep!” You say, overcompensating just a bit. “All good,” you lie. You close your eyes, trying to push thoughts of Logan out of your head, denying the heat growing between your legs.
“Good, because we’re almost there,” Logan says, the X-Jet descending carefully. You look out the window to see the trees below. There’s a lake in the distance, but that’s it. No civilization, no houses—no one. It’s empty, peaceful.
“We’re really in the middle of nowhere, huh?” You say, glancing at Logan.
His eyes meet yours and he smiles. Warmth blooms in your heart at the sight. “My kind of place,” he says back. The X-Jet descends further as you approach a clear spread of grass to land on just ahead.
This is, in fact, not your kind of place. The humidity creeps up your back and settles under your skin. The forest is overgrown and impossible to navigate. You let Logan slice through the plant life with his claws, swiping back and forth whenever something gets in your way.
You haven’t been walking for long, but you’re already done. Perhaps Charles was right; a partner is not the worst idea on a mission like this.
You can see the flower just ahead—yellow petals and a long, green, viny stem. It glows brightly even under the dense forest canopy. “Semper in tenebris lux,” Charles had said; there is always light in darkness. And he was right. The flower illuminates everything in its path. Next to it, you can see a pretty, lavender-colored flower. You stop in your tracks, letting Logan wander ahead as you crouch down to stroke the purple petals.
“Charles didn’t say anything about not taking other flowers too, right?” You call out, watching as Logan swipes carefully at the stem of the yellow flower. He holds the dainty stem in his large hands as he walks back over to you.
“No, he didn’t. But you should be careful. It could be poisonous or—”
You ignore Logan, picking the flower anyway. You hold it up to your nose and breathe in. It’s sweet and fragrant. You twist the stem and realize the flower is sticky with sap and pollen. Your twist shakes some of the pollen up, and it lands all over your face.
“Shit,” you mutter, wiping it away. A gust of wind sweeps through the forest, knocking the flower out of your hand and spreading more of its pollen in the air. You can feel it in your nostrils, getting caught in your throat.
Logan furrows his brows as the pollen falls to the ground. “What the fuck did you do?”
You roll your eyes. “All I did was pick a flower!” You lift your hands, feigning innocence. “I’m sure it’s nothing.” You stand up, glancing once at the yellow flower in Logan’s hands and then back at Logan. “It’s pretty.”
He parts his lips, his stare focused on you. “Yeah, it is.” There’s something else in that stare, in those words. Like maybe he isn’t only talking about the flower. You shove those thoughts down as you turn around and walk back to the jet.
Your steps are suddenly very heavy. You scratch at your shoulder. Heat blooms in your chest, your stomach, across your face. You’re irritated and overheated and itchy. Your breath grows heavier and rougher with every step.
Logan notices immediately. He stops, grabbing your arm. You can’t control the way you lean into his touch, nor the way you’re craving more. “Hey,” he soothes, eyes searching your face. “Are you okay?” There’s a hint of panic in his voice.
You swallow harshly, nodding. Your throat feels thick, your skin tight and oppressive. “’M’fine,” you mumble.
“Quit lying. I can tell something’s wrong,” Logan demands. You open your mouth to persuade him otherwise, but he doesn’t give you the chance, his grip tightening around your arm. “Your skin is on fucking fire, princess. What did you do?” He cocks his head, sniffing as he furrows his brows. His voice is darker now, slower as his eyes widen. “What the fuck did you do?”
You take in a sharp breath. And that’s when you feel it, the ache between your thighs, the slick arousal soaking through your panties. The realization smacks you in the face. For a moment, you’re clear-headed, but still terrified. The pollen. That goddamn, fucking pollen. “Logan, look, I think that purple flower had some—"
He cuts you off as he yanks your arm, tugging you towards the ship. “We need to get you back to the jet, okay?”
“Oh, I am so fucked,” you cry. You know you only have a few seconds left before the effects really kick in. “L-Logan,” you stutter, almost moaning as your core burns stronger with need. “T-the pollen was everywhere. What if you got some too?”
He ignores you, handing you the yellow flower you came here for in the first place. He sweeps one hand under your legs and keeps the other at your back as he lifts you in his arms—bridal style. You can feel his heart beating in his chest. You lean into him again, searching for relief. Wetness pools between your legs. You have never felt this needy before. Your desire hurts, burns, scorches you. You rut your hips, clenching down around nothing.
“S-stop doing that,” Logan spits, restrained and quiet.
“C-can’t,” you whine. “It hurts, Logan. It hurts so fucking bad. How come you aren’t like this too?”
He pulls you tighter to his chest. “I feel a little something, but that might just…”
You tilt your head up to look at him. He works his jaw, that perfect jaw. You want to bite it, to bury your face in the crook of his neck. “Might just be what?” You ask, tentatively brushing your lips against the hollow of his throat.
“Nothing, just—fuck,” he groans as you press soft, open-mouthed kisses all around his neck now. “Don’t do that, princess. You don’t want this.”
“But I do, Logan,” you beg. The ramp to the jet lowers as you and Logan approach. “N-need you.” You bury your face into his shoulder, breathing him in. “Need y-you all the time.” The confession slips easily from your lips.
Logan’s eyes widen as he walks up the ramp and into the ship. It lifts and seals shut behind him. “You don’t mean that, sweetheart. Let’s just get you back to the mansion as quickly as possible, yeah?”
He places you down on the seat next to him, taking the flower from your hands and putting it in the jar Charles had given you. The leather cold at your back almost feels good, almost relieving—until you realize Logan is no longer holding you, touching you. You reach out towards him, grabbing his arms, pulling him back in. “Don’t go,” you plead, nails digging into his biceps. Your body is on fire. Everything is unbearably painful. “Please,” you whimper. “Need you so fucking bad, just you.”
“Fuck,” Logan curses. “I am not taking advantage of you. I am not doing this.” He stands, freeing himself from your grasp and walking over to the pilot’s chair. “I’m getting you back to the mansion and we’re going to fix this, okay?”
But that’s not good enough for you. You stand up and walk over to Logan. Your steps are shaky, your legs trembling. Your chest heaves, your heart beating rapidly. You climb into Logan’s lap, straddling him, one leg on either side. “Logan, I can’t fucking wait,” you cry, grinding down onto his lap. The pressure feels delicious. He grabs your hips, stilling you, forcing you in place. And that’s when you feel it: his erection, hard underneath your core. “This isn’t you. You don’t really want this, don’t really want m—”
“It is me,” you protest, squirming against his hold. “Logan, I’ve wanted you for months. I-I was thinking about you t-touching me the whole way here.” You remember the way his fingers dexterously pushed all the right buttons. Need courses through you like a river, and as Logan’s hold on your hips softens, you grind down into his lap, against his erection. “S-so good,” you cry out.
His hands are still on your hips, but now he’s guiding you, rocking you against his cock. “J-just this though, okay?”
You hum, pressing your forehead to his, rolling your hips faster. The relief is like heaven. His arms wrap around your back, his fingers trailing up and down soothingly. Logan ruts into you, his erection straining against his jeans. You can feel yourself getting closer, but the pain, the need, it’s all still the same.
“Logan, it’s not gonna be enough,” you whisper, his lips ghosting yours. “N-need more. Hurts so bad.”
He presses a chaste kiss to your lips, like he’s scared to truly touch you. But he wants to consume your pain, to take it away, to feel it for you. You can see it written across his face, in the way his cock throbs against your swollen clit, how he snaps his hips into yours.
“I know, princess,” he coos, his hands like fire on your back. Your walls contract around nothing, begging for something to hold onto, to feel something sink deep inside. “Gonna take care of you.” He kisses you again, with more vigor this time, more passion. “I’ve got you, darlin’.”
You moan into his mouth. His composure is slipping, disintegrating with every roll, every rock of your hips against his. His cock notches against your clit, sending a jolt of pleasure up the base of your spine. He hikes your shirt up, the cold air hitting your overheated skin. “F-feels good,” you stammer. You’re almost there, almost hitting that peak. “S-so close.”
“I know, pretty girl,” he soothes. “Let go for me, know you can do it.”
You moan his name, your orgasm crashing into you like a crescendo. You know you’re soaking through your clothes, and probably onto Logan’s too. He’s still rutting against you, giving you more. He knows it’s not going to be enough, and he’s right. Need builds back up just as quickly as you found your release.
“Lo…” you trail off, looking up at him under lust-filled eyes. You swallow harshly, squirming in his lap helplessly. “G-gotta have you.”
He presses his forehead to yours. He works his jaw, parting his lips. “Y-you meant it when you said you wanted me before this?” But he already knows the answer. He knows you wouldn’t lie to him about that, not even now.
“Yes,” you whine, pulling him closer. He tugs your shirt all the way over your head and picks you up, hands firmly gripping your ass. “Still gonna want you after this, too.”
He curses under his breath as he places you down in the pilot’s chair. He’s frenzied and frantic as he hooks his thumbs into your pants and panties, yanking them down your legs and casting them to the side.
He spreads your legs with the palms of his hands, his thumbs brushing soft circles into your inner thighs. He’s kneeling, looking up at you. Your breath catches in your throat as his face settles between your legs.
“Could smell you before, pretty girl,” he husks, his breath fanning over your clit. “Wanted this so fucking bad.” He doesn’t keep you waiting, licking a long stripe through your folds and up to your clit. “Knew you’d taste perfect. Pretty fucking pussy.”
You throw your head back as his lips latch onto your clit, sucking harshly. He slips one hand across your back, keeping you close. His free hand climbs up your thigh, fingers exploring your folds as his tongue flits across your swollen bud. He spreads your arousal, prodding against your entrance before shoving two fingers deep inside you. “Logan!” You cry out, your walls clenching around him. He’s stretching you out, his fingers dragging inside you. He pulls out and plunges back in. He isn’t taking his time, isn’t teasing. He’s giving you what you need, pump after pump.
You look down at him, his face buried in your cunt, consuming you, swallowing you whole like a starving man. He’s lost inside you, lapping at you with unwavering hunger and desire. His tongue swirls around your clit, his teeth grazing ever so slightly. You moan his name again, and he hums against you, the vibrations of his bassy voice rocking through your body. He’s wrecking you, but it feels so goddamn good.
“That’s it, sweetheart,” he goads you along. He’s adding a third finger now, and you suck him in. You’d take anything he gives you, anything at all. “Doing so good for me, taking it so well.”
He sucks roughly, your walls clenching around him at the feeling. “Yeah?” He grunts, sucking again. “You like that? Feels good?”
“Y-yes,” you stammer, stumbling over that one simple word. “S-so fucking good.”
“I know, beautiful,” he groans, nipping at your clit in between his rough sucks. “Gonna make that hurt go away, okay?” His voice is like honey, sugar; it’s sweet, addictive. “You just gotta come for me again, can you do that?” His tongue strokes your clit, his fingers pumping faster now.
You nod your head emphatically, pleasure surging as you near your peak. “Yeah, I-I can,” you huff.
Logan smiles against your cunt between rough laps. “I know you can, sweetheart.” His fingers scissor inside you, deeper than before. He takes your clit between his lips again, sucking hard.
And that’s all it takes—you’re screaming his name, coming undone, unraveling underneath him. The release is even better than the first, more full, more complete. Logan thrusts in and out a few more times before slowly pulling his fingers from your cunt. He licks one more long stripe through your folds and looks up into your eyes.
For a moment, the fire inside has been quenched. You feel clear, levelheaded. But it doesn’t last long. “Fuck,” you moan, your head hitting against the headrest of the chair. The fire is back, spreading across your stomach, your chest. “Logan,” you whimper. “I n-need more.”
“It’s okay, pretty girl,” he coos, taking you back up into his arms. He hoists you out of the seat, his hands finding your ass, squeezing softly. You wrap your legs around his waist as he carries you across the jet, setting you down on a storage container.
You bring your hands up to his biceps. “Need you this time, Lo,” you choke, stroking up and down his arms as the heat builds painfully between your thighs.
“Are you sure?” He asks, eyes searching yours.
“Always wanted you, always sure,” you whisper, wrapping your legs tighter around his waist.
His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. “Wanted you too,” he husks. “But I wanted it to be different, to—” You cut him off. “Just want you. It’s okay like this. I promise.” You grind against him, his erection still straining inside the denim of his jeans.
He takes the hint, and quickly unbuckles his belt, casting the leather to the metal floor with a clunk. He’s unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans, shoving them down his legs, and lining himself up with your entrance. You push your hips forward, giving him better access. His other hand pushes your bra above your breasts, exposing you completely to him.
With one hand on his cock and one squeezing your tits gently, he thrusts himself into you. He’s so deep—down to the hilt—stretching you out and working you open. He groans, flicking your nipple with his thumb, his lips at the shell of your ear. “So fucking beautiful,” he whispers, sending a chill down your spine, quenching that fire inside. “So warm, so tight.” He pulls out and plunges back in again, filling you up.
“Lo,” you whine. “More.”
“I know,” he growls, his hips snapping into yours, bottoming out with every thrust. “Gonna take care of you, pretty girl.” He squeezes your tits once more before sliding his hand down your body and slipping between where the two of you connect. His fingers find your clit, drawing rough circles around the bud. “That feel good, beautiful?”
“Y-yes, Logan, so fucking good,” you cry out as he rocks into you. His other hand grips your hip tightly, holding you in place. You hope there’s a bruise there later—proof that he touched you, proof that he fucked into you like the world was ending.
His cock rubs against your walls, your muscles contracting around him, sucking him in deeper. “Squeezing me so good, sweetheart,” he praises, his lips crashing down onto yours, swallowing your moans. He’s taking all of you, hard and fast. You can feel him twitching inside you, throbbing with the same need you feel pulsing through your veins.
Logan kisses your jaw, and then just underneath, biting down on your pulse point. You arch your back, your chest meeting his. The contact is delicious, the friction a necessity. He thrusts into you faster now, doing his all to satiate your every need. He’s getting you there, pump after pump, hitting that sweet spot inside you every time.
It’s working. You can feel yourself slipping again, melting. “Logan,” you hum, too fucked out to say anything other than his name. That beautiful name, like a song in the air, a gentle prayer, a holy ghost. He’s all you need—all you’ve ever needed.
Your walls contract, squeezing him tightly. “Fuck,” he mutters. You know he’s close too. He strokes your clit, circling roughly. “Come on, pretty girl. You can do it, let me get you there again.”
“Lo,” you cry, your eyes fluttering open and shut as he fucks into you, rutting his hips, plunging deeper still. It’s all too much. You can feel the pleasure drumming inside you, coming to a head.
Logan loosens his grip on your hip and slides his hand behind your back, pulling you into his chest. You rest your forehead against his. “Come on my cock, princess, let go.” And you do. You’d do anything for him. You moan as your orgasm tears through you. It’s all blinding white heat, liquid smooth, pleasure wracking your body.
Logan curses under his breath, close behind. He pulses inside you once, and then he’s coming undone. Your arms wrap around his back, keeping him close, letting him know it’s okay to finish inside. He fills you up, whispering praises in your ear as you both come down from your high. Such a good fucking girl. Did so good for me. So fucking good. Perfect little pussy.
He’s still inside you, pumping slowly as you ride out your orgasm. His fingers let go of your clit, his hands running up your back and tugging you closer to him. He slowly pulls out, keeping you tight against his chest.
“Are you okay?” He whispers against the shell of your ear. You take a deep breath, waiting for the heat to build again, waiting for that need to surge every cell of your being. But there’s nothing. Your nerves are suddenly quiet—silent.
“I-I think it’s over,” you stutter, still nervous that maybe it’s not. He keeps you there, holding you tightly, ready to start again if necessary.
After a few minutes, you let yourself relax. It’s not coming back. It’s over.
Logan presses a chaste kiss to the side of your head. “I’ve still got you. Not going anywhere.” Your heart rate has finally slowed down. The heat is gone. You feel comfortable in your skin again. You take a deep breath.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper into Logan’s chest.
“Nothing to be sorry for, princess,” Logan reassures, his voice gentle and soft. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”
You nod against him, but you still feel a sting in your heart. You need to make him know that you meant what you said—need him to know exactly how you feel. You swallow nervously, ready to bite the bullet.
“Logan,” you breathe. “I-I meant everything I said. It wasn’t just the pollen.” You pull yourself from his chest, looking up at him. “I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted you…” you trail off. “S-still need you now. Nothing’s changed.”
He smiles down at you, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “I know, darlin’,” he husks. “I wanted you before, and I still do, too.”
“I know you wanted it to be different. I know it wasn’t—” But he cuts you off, his lips capturing yours, quieting your anxious rambles. “We’ll have other chances. Other times to do it the way I want.” He smirks, running his hands up and down your back.
Other chances. Other times. More. More. More. “Yeah?” You ask.
“Yeah, princess.”
tags: @wolviesgirl @dojacatswink @dilf420 @spiderset @pleasantlycrazyworld @imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky @y-ns-things
#Logan Howlett x reader#Wolverine x reader#James Logan Howlett x reader#Logan Howlett x reader smut#Wolverine x reader smut#James Logan Howlett x reader smut#Logan Howlett smut#Wolverine smut#James Logan Howlett smut#Logan Howlett sex pollen#Logan Howlett x you#Wolverine x you#James Logan Howlett x you#Logan Howlett x you smut#Wolverine x you smut#James Logan Howlett x you smut#Logan Howlett x reader sex pollen#Logan Howlett imagine#Wolverine imagine#James Logan Howlett imagine
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