#i’m not done yet with everything else
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anyways guys. i’ve been getting into dc
#myart#dc comics#gotham rogues#rogues gallery#professor pyg#joker#ragdoll#jervis tetch#mad hatter#the penguin#oswald cobblepot#i’m not done yet with everything else#just need a break
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Was always worried about the angst of unrequited love, had never realized the sheer amount of comedic potential that it has.
Imagine one-sided Superbat where Clark is fully aware that Bruce has a crush on him but is being his repressed self about it, and Clark is just like, “I’m not gonna touch that :) you’re going to figure that out for yourself, buddy, and in the meantime, I’m just going to have a good time and be best friends with you as you inevitably pull yourself together enough to either fall out of love or to confess :) and I’ll just let you down gently because I care about you :)” but he absolutely 100% is using it to his advantage in the meantime. His puppy dog eyes had never been so effective before. He’s gotten out of Monitor Duty three times in the past month.
#altho tbh personally if *I* were writing this all out I WOULD make requited superabt endgame#because it’s more fun#like clark is slowly falling in love with bruce while bruce is slowly coming to terms with being in love with clark#like bruce fell both faster and harder because. have u seen clark. who wouldn’t fold#meanwhile the justice league tease the shit out of bruce#and i picture clark as being a hell of a good actor because he HAS to be for his identity to work even more so than bruce or anyone else#so he’s very much able to keep his own feelings quiet when he realizes that he’s returning bruce’s love#and hey maybe u CAN bring the angst full circle back into this premise#like 1) clark believes somehow that people will inevitably fall out of love w him and that includes bruce#and 2) bruce when he finally figures out his own feelings for clark (way later than everyone else figured out him) probs realizes that clark#knew this whole damn time and didn’t say a word. and bruce is both justifiably mortified and falsely certain that clark does not return his#feelings because he’d have said smth by now if he did#even tho atp i would have clark return his feelings#also if u don’t believe clark wouldn’t 100% be a little shit about bruce’s feelings may i just present#literally everything he’s done to lois ever in every superman canon ever#<- i’m not saying that like he bullies lois or would bully bruce in this fic premise bc they both give it as good as they’ve got#and they very much pull a lot over clark so it all evens out or even falls in the other’s favor more often than not#anyway. yeah that’s my one (1) superbat fic premise.#part of the reason why i LOOOVE superbat and clois but haven’t written jackshit for either of them yet is that#i feel like there’s sooooooo many fics for both of them that i could not explore smth new with them ykwim#er well in the case of lois not just fics but like sooo many clois canons with their own takes and exploratons#superbat#superman#clark kent#batman#bruce wayne#simu's two cents#dc#also i wouldn’t touch the batkids with a ten foot pole.
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HAPPY FRIDAY FRIENDZ !!! there’s something so lovely about this day, it always feels like a breath of fresh air. the office seems more upbeat and the underlying buzz of excitement for the weekend ahead is truly the best ! i hope you all have a wonderful day !🌟 ⸜(ˆᗜˆ˵ )⸝ 🌟
#besides kitties .. penguins are my utmost favorite animals ! they are so cutesy :3#and always dressed to impressed mwehehe#i’m sooooo looking forward to this weekend bc i can finally chill 😮💨#hoping to catch up on lots of sleep (•̀ᴗ•́ )و#might post this kid fic today before it dies in the drafts like everything else …. need to clear those out soon as we reached a cozy 350#i am sorry to the friendz that have joined my ask game and i have not delivered yet :c#this week at work has left me v sleepy and i don’t want to do them half assed#i promise i’ll get them all done as soon as i can ^_^#love u all ! 🌟#little joy of the morning : my boss brought me iced coffee . . 🥺#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims#ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ — ✩ daily yap.
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I am fighting for my life to be mentally stable and it’s not working
#personal*#jess talks#trigger warning cus I’m feeling really low and might vent#but genuinely I want to give up#I don’t want to exist#I feel like a burden and a scrounger#I realised yesterday that everything I have is because of someone else#I haven’t earnt anything for myself or done anything with my life#I complain that I can’t support myself#yet I make no effort to fix that#im scared of my insecurity to do anything#I’m scared I’m not good enough#I’m scared to exist in my own home#it doesn’t feel like my home#I haven’t felt ‘at home’ since before uni#I’ve moved house 6 times in the past 7 years#I never feel secure or safe#and I feel responsible#I wish I could just go get a good paying job and support myself and my family#all I want is my independence back like I had at uni#but even at uni I was living off of a loan I’ll never be able to pay off#my whole existence is a waste#I’m contemplating giving up on my art and business because it’s getting me no where#I might as well give up entirely#I can’t see any positive resolutions in sight and I feel so helpless#but all I’m doing is feeling sorry for myself#my parents are sm worse off than I am currently yet I’m the one having panic attacks and terrified to leave my room??#I’m gonna be 26 still living with my parents achieving nothing for myself#with no relationship experience and not an inclining of self respect#grow up Jess
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yk, for someone who’s going on their 2nd (?) year of brainrot, i haven’t made nearly as much progress in hollow knight as you’d expect
#i’m on my first run and i still have yet to kill lurien#i decided to do *everything else* cus i was intimidated by the watcher knights#and then come my senior year; i didn’t have time for anything but school#but now that i’m done with that; i finally get to pick up the game again!!! and…#…i still gotta beat those watcher knights.#it actually takes me So Long to finish games tho it’s honestly kinda hilarious#i’ve never beaten minecraft or botw; i’m still on year 1 of stardew valley#in fact; now that i think abt it; the only game i ever remember beating is my friend pedro. that’s a really short game tho#so yea; im a little silly#a little goofy#but i wont let myself touch silksong until i finish hollow knight#stan’s forum
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hey if u guys r sad about ofmd and want another show with gay people to watch you should consider watching Deadloch. It’s really good it’s really really good uh it might get a second season if the creators decide to do that.
if you watch good omens you’ll be able to watch Deadloch they’re on the same service. Uhhhh One of the actors from ofmd is there shes one half of the main duo (the other half is played by Kate Box who’s an amazing actor and Dulcie is now one of my fav characters ever) gets to wear an open Hawaiian shirt for like 3 of the 8 episodes which is a bonus. It’s extremely gay and it’s fun and beautifully written and no queer characters die and it’s satisfying and funny and Please watch it I’m begging you please watch itPLEASE
#ofmd#deadloch#PLEASEEEEEE please Im begging Im on my hands and my knees PLEASE WATCH THIS SHOW#It’s not shy about being gay it practically opens with gay sex ok please pleaseee watch it#It’s got so many amazing characters every character is so well written it’s a detective satire that ends on a pretty openly anti cop note#The main characters work so well together and the actors have such good chemistry and the storytelling is so good and well done#Literally my only my singular criticism of the entire show is that I think the lighting in some scenes could be brighter so you can#Actually tell what’s going on bc it’s sort of hard to at certain points#THATS MY ONLY CRITICISM AT ALL ITS THAT GOOD#Ive watched it 10 times now I’m still finding new stuff and connecting things it hasn’t gotten old yet#It’s seriously like unironically a masterpiece of a show. I would like it just as much if everything else was the same but the characters#Were straight#Though given how much of it is tied to gay and specifically lesbian culture it would be sort of hard to do that LOL#but still. like hypothetically. If it was straight I would not like it any less I would still be just as crazy about it
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for anyone who wants one, here is my tda vegas schedule that i made!
all times in et! (3 hours ahead of las vegas)
#wednesday isn’t done yet#but everything else is in there!#anons help me out on anyone/groups i’m missing
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I need to complain
#so my current job is with 3 people that I know from previous jobs#our staff is 6 people#I love my mg as a person but she is so. oh my god.#the company is pretty removed from the stores (within reason) but p much as long as our numbers look good they don’t hover. our dm comes#v rarely and only checks in w mg once a wk-ish. so my mg takes full advantage of this. we r a relatively slow store dgmw but she straight up#ignores shit that needs. to be done? like shipment will just sit there for DAYS and she will do the bare minimum and sit on her phone allday#and go in the back for 15 mins for no reason and then come out on the floor and steal sales and then leave work early and do nothing to help#anyone else make their numbers and then she always has to brag abt things in our district group chat that she like#barely fucking contributes to and like literally EVERYTHING in the store gets done by my AM and I. I am not any type of mg in this store and#I accepted this job fully ok w that. I wanted a break from management. and yet I am constantly stepping up to do shit bc our mg doesn’t#and it’s basic operational shit that we’ve LITERALLY DONE. AT OUR LAST JOB. WE ALL DID THE SAME. FUCKING THINGS AT OUR LAST JOB#WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT JNOW HOW TO DO A FUCKING CHANGE ORDER. HOW DO WE NEVER HAVE CHANGE AND IM ALWAYS THE ONE TAKING CASH TO THE BANK#WHYYYYYYYY AM I PLANNING BLACK FRIDAY AND DOING EVERYTHING W MY AM TO PREPARE WHILE SHE LITERALLY GOES “’there isn’t that much to do?’ldhdga#WHAT. DO. YOU. MEAN. THERES LIKE 20 BOXES OF UNTOUCHED SHIPMENT FOR NO FUCKING REASON EVERYTBI GS A MESS WE NEED TO DO SK MUCH#HOW ARE YOU SITTING THERE. WATCHING REELS!!!!!!! AND THEN STOPPING US WHILE WE’RE GETTING THINGS DONE TO SHOW US MEMES#IM GOING TO HnbHsndvdhwjf#my poor am is in the final weeks of her semester trying to do hw and shit on top of cleaning up the mess our mg leaves and hovering over her#to make sure things get done and it’s just like#You should not Have To Be DOING THAT#I’m just so blown. like she lies so much and just does whatever the fuck she wants w no consideration and then we have to reality check her#and she’s like oh you’re right I’m sorry#and then it changes for a fucking day and goes right back. I’m just.#And then she has the audacity to say ‘ I stepped back to see if you(am) would step up to do things’#LMFAO GIRLLKJKLLGBFBS FUCK YOU THATS SUCH A KINE OF BULLSHIT YOURE SO LAZY PLS FIND A HUSBAND AND BE A HOUSEWIFE FASTER#STOP TERRORIZING WORKPLACES PLSSSSSS PLS PS Sslslsldbxvsj#fr talking to her is talking to the wall.#like I would prefer to just look at the floor and say things than say it to her bc she does not listen#but like sitting w her and bullshitting when downtime she’s chill and funny like I love her. just she sucks at working.
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I’m sorry I have to speak my truth lmao it’s a little bit hilarious that kingpin is stylistically offered such flourish and creativity, when writing wise he’s so fucking generic.
#another day ANOTHER POST OF ME BEING ANNOYED FUCKINGGGGG KINGPIN IS GIVEN ROOM TO BE A THREE DIMENSIONAL CHARACTER AND AARON GETS SUBTEXT#AND THE CHOICE BETWEEN NEBULOUS VILLAINY AND FAMILY HE LOVES#LIKE IM SORRY BUT EVEN W HALF THE EXPLORATION AARON IS MORE THAN TWICE AS INTERESTING AND YET WE HAVE LIKE. THREE SADMAN KINGPIN MOMENTS#IM SORRY SPIDERVERSE THIS IS THE ONE AREA I THINK WASNT THAT. INTERESTING. GIVEN HOW FRESH AND REVITALISED EVERYTHING ELSE FEELS#LIKE. COULD WE GET JUST A SMIDGE MORE INSIGHT INTO WHAT LED AARON HERE? SO WE KNOW WHAT HE GIVES UP FOR MILES?#LIKE IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE MILES I *LOVE* THAT ITS MILES BUT ITS LIKE#DEVOID OF TENSION BECAUSE WE HAVE ONLY DEVELOPED THE DIMENSION OF AARON IN REGARDS TO HIS FAMILY#LIKE DID HE GET IN TOO DEEP WAS THIS A SECURITY THING HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN HAPPENING WHERE THE PROWLER DOESNT BLINK AT BEING ASKED TO KILL#A CHILD#AGH#tunes talks critical#tunes talks spiderverse#I don’t even dislike kingpin lmao (I don’t rlly think anything of him beyond the fact I’m glad miles kicks his ass) I just think it’s almost#a bit of a waste that stylistically he’s interesting and fun to look at and watch be animated but writing wise he’s so generic#he provides nothing new to the trope motivation he’s embodying#the story his actions set into motion is interesting. the actual character is like. just stylistically interesting execution of a trope that#is just not that emotionally compelling for me. esp when nothing really NEW is being done w it
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fuck today honestly im so overstimulated i want to throw a full tantrum on the fucking floor
#i’m sick of being at work i’ve been here for 3.5 hours and i’m fucking done dude i don’t want to be here anymore#and yet i’ll be here until fucking almost 5pm so. great#everything keeps going shitty i’m annoyed and pissed and overstimulated as fuck#i had to fucking fix the whole pos bc it got fucked up and the printer and drawer wouldn’t fucking connect#and i just almost spilled my coffee everywhere#it took me 30 mins to even MAKE said coffee due to customers being IMPATIENT#people wiped well over 3/4 of my case before 10 and we opened at 9 :-) so i fucking had to do the entire case for a second time#i also sprayed myself on accident with the fucjign sprayer for the dishes AND the syrup for my coffee bounced off the ice in my cup and got#all over my face and glasses and neck and i just ..i just want to go the fuck home i’m sick of this shit dude#i do NOT get paid enough to deal with how much saturdays make me want to actually kms#i don’t fucking want to do anything else either and im fucking not#the rest of my shift will be me cleaning dishes i made and washing the piping bags and then cleaning and helping customers#im not baking im not doing anything else on the list im fucking mentally drained i can’t#and how fucking nice too thhat i get to have tomorrow off and then come back monday-friday before i finally get to have 3 days off#sooooooooo fun and cool i want to fucking dIE#oh did i mention saturdays i work entirely alone for the whole 8 hour shift
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I personally cannot wait to fulfill my destiny of being an old cat lady spinster hagraven (coping lol)
#ah yes just what i always wanted. to have a heart broken beyond repair to the point that I don’t want anyone for the rest of my life.#giving everything to someone else. it was worth it just for me to do it but look at what I am left with.#how is it fair to me. I don’t get the thing I want most in love yet I’m expected to give more than I ever wanted to give? okay.#Im just done. done sacrificing myself for guys I’m in love with and trying my hardest to make them stay. but now they can all stay tf AWAY#Im a romantic at heart but I won’t let myself do this ever again. that i can promise myself. look at where it has gotten me#look at what im left with#no one who would just stay with me… I guess it is impossible. despite all the love I give it won’t change who I am I guess and who I am#is someone who is impossible to stay with apparently. bc if you wouldn’t stay then I completely give up and that’s okay
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it’s raining hard
#and i am wondering a lot of things#i feel like i simultaneously don’t process my emotions yet also everything affects me more than it affects anyone else#i wonder how many more times i will be motionless in bed all day because of something i can’t control#it’s nobody’s fault but sometimes it’s mine#and i never know until it’s too late#and every time i feel like i’m catching myself i’m just digging myself deeper into the hole#and everyone out there is in their cars and on the train and buying groceries and my roommates are laughing and yelling together#and i am just laying down thinking about all the ways i could have done it differently#even though it’s self destructive#there is no way else for me to show i care and then it gets impulsive#and i am catching myself. so i stop and i sleep for 12 hours instead#i know it comes in waves. i have the time of my life and then it crashes. i know. but knowing doesn’t make it easier#it’s the endless self sabotage of my life#i am catching myself by going to therapy and taking medication and trying very very very hard and even then. even then#i guess i am so scared of the future because i know it will still be like this#except one day i will not be able to just. sit with it#and i don’t know how i’ll handle that#i don’t want to keep apologizing for just existing but the longer i live the more i have to do it#and at some point i find myself running out of things to fix#i am asking everyone about my errors so i solve them and move on . not to change myself because of them but because i know i can be a#<- better person after#but it’s hard to tell someone when something is wrong#and i am not a machine that can be updated#i don’t know. i am tired. goodnight#and please please idk if people read these but please don’t think i write these things to gain pity or sympathy or guilt or anything#it is just my mind ramblings at not great hours
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Why is it when I always want to do something cool is when I have fiddy assignments due tomorrow night
#SPOWTS#like I wanna actually write that fucking hfjone tlou fic I’ve been trying to revamp and listen to more and fucking MOVE#but no I have other shit to do#and the thing is is that I physically cannot do anything else until these assignments are done#I will feel empty if they’re not done#and procrastinate when I stop because I remember what it’s like to have fun again#Saturdays aren’t really part of the weekend for me anymore more than it is an extension to get shit done#Sundays are usually the one day I get off but it goes by too fast and that’s assuming I get everything done by Sat night even though#I’ve been working on this stuff since Friday night#AND I’m sick so I decided to stay home ONE day instead of forcing myself to go to school#and I fall behind by so much or I simply don’t understand the work we’re doing by the next day#a never ending cycle#I’ve been tired all day yet I cannot sleep nor take that coughing medicine (which makes me fall asleep) because of all of this#it’s sad#but it’s my own little hell#I’ll probably never escape#but eh#survive till summer right?#is this a vent#I think it’s a vent#sorry gang will shut up now
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~ ~ ~
#I think I’m lonely in a way I can’t fully describe#I have a partner and friends and family but still often feel alone even when I’m with them#I don’t feel close to anyone at times and I don’t know if it’s outside circumstances or just me#like with my partner being asexual we don’t really do certain activities that I’d like to partake in more often and I can’t hold it against#them for how they do/don’t feel but at the same time I’m craving a physical connection I can’t have and am struggling#doesn’t help that I think about sex all the time nowadays and would really like to be having it and experiencing/exploring certain things#it’s not always easy to take care of oneself that way and still also try to console the ace partner apologizing for who they are#and yeah hall passes are great but only if you have someone to use it on and I’ve never had anyone want to be with me sexually#moving on to bestie I don’t feel my same love and affection being reciprocated and that sucks because I really do anything I can for him#and am like that with pretty much all of mt friends where if they need me for something I’ll be there#but a lot of the time it seems like he really only wants to talk/hang out with me if he’s at work and I can come visit with him#any time I invite him to do something with me outside of work he flakes and so it’s not even worth inviting him anymore#and yeah there’s rare times where he’ll call me a bunch in one day but it’s always just to tell me some gossip from work#not that gossip isn’t fun but still don’t you want to jus talk to me? I always want to just talk to you even if it’s about nothing at all#I’m always the one putting myself out there for him and being there for him when he calls me but I almost never get that same response back#and it’s like I know he has a family so I know he can’t always drop everything for me nor would I ever expect that but just some matching of#my energy would be nice you know? but then I feel guilty/selfish because I feel like I shouldn’t ask that of him when he does have a life#away from work. and I mean I guess I do too but it’s different because partner and I don’t have kids and don’t do much aside from sit around#together or have tea or other things most often done at home. and I don’t live with partner full time yet so I also still have other freedom#outside of just being with them. and other responsibilities I take care of but not on the same level as a wife and kids I guess#idk now I just feel like I’m whining but tbh all this stuff is weighing on me and just making me feel really shitty#I don’t know how to fix these issues without sounding like a selfish bitch and I’m obviously not going to cut anyone off but I don’t really#see any other solutions forming either. so it’s like I guess I’ll just keep my mouth shut and keep feeling bad until the end of time since#that’s the easiest thing to do and then no one else is hurt or upset aside from me#I just feel like I’m destined to float through life never getting back what I need from my relationships but still giving everything because#I don’t know any other way to be. I don’t know how to set boundaries even for myself so I’ll just keep giving and giving until I’m dead#and yeah I guess I am still a lot happier than I used to be and I appreciate the people in my life#just sometimes feels like they don’t really appreciate me back is all#so now I have to lay here next to partner and have all this shit running in my mind and try to get over it on my own#reasonably I should just go to bed but the loneliness is gnawing at me and idk what to do to make it go away
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The conversation sucked but was so what I needed. I was asked to respect his decision to move on. & I asked for the respect to not have sex anymore. Because I love my husband & it makes it harder for me to move on. I was being cordial, not trying to fight. But instead of saying okay & ending the conversation I get shit talked about me. Like what?
I want to move on peacefully as well, just as he requested & not having sex with someone I love who no longer loves me back makes me wrong? So much negative things being said to me. When the convo could’ve been so short. Just crazy. Proves me how toxic he truly is.
But the conversation was needed for me to understand that I am not the only one who messed up. I was lied to & made to believe we’d always work through it & always get stronger through our downfalls. I mean I literally got all the proof of his betrayal, but to him it was nothing & I’m the bad guy. He told me to stay when I should’ve left & now he denies it lmao Okay. We both messed up. Take accountability as I have. I was willing to always try & you lied about never giving up & always trying & that divorce was never an option. Thanks for showing me your true colors. Even showing me how much of a snitch he is by threatening me with law enforcement like really. Thank you for the push. I’m with our kids 85% of the time cause you work a lot & that’s okay I understand that but you threaten to try to get me in trouble with the law. Fake AF. So unbelievable but it’s okay. Thank god I didn’t decide to go back to that place when you asked me to for our kids. I knew it wasn’t gonna be a good idea & I’m so thankful I stuck to my gut feeling.
& he’s mad I use this app to vent instead of talking to people & posting on apps where people know us. Don’t nobody know me here. Don’t nobody even care. You left me, you can’t dictate how I heal myself from being fooled. Crazy how the truth unfolds when things get rough.
#people really switch up on you#never trust a person who speaks poorly about you when man#never trust someone who only blames you#only good thing was the children who taught me to be gentle & loving cause they so stuck up my ass. lol#I let myself trust someone after never trusting a soul due to the bad that was done to me by people who were supposed to protect me#God sees everything & saw me try my best#yes I made mistakes but nothing to be treated so poorly about#both of us fucked up & at least I take accountability for my actions#glad I could now see the toxicity & lies told#never was his love just had been settled for#I couldn’t even get the same respect of what’s best for me to move on but I have to respect his decision#I’m so dumb#I let him in & he failed me & lied to me#trying to make me believe I’m bad when I know I’m not#I tried he gave up. I kept my promise to god in my marriage not him & god sees it all so stop your lies#belittling my feelings & speaking so poorly of me#you reap what you sow. & god has a better plan for. glad he pushed my limits. it so helpful#sucks I love him but reading everything he texts me for over a month helps me. I’ve been cordial & our texts prove it#manipulation at its finest. crazy how one switches up & blames everyone else but themselves#I tried. that’s all that matters. couldn’t reciprocate the respect asked of me. respect was never there#I was never the one. I have so much proof. it helps me move on & be strong for myself#I deserve better & will better myself for myself & my kids that he asked for to do it the right way yet breaks apart another family#make it make sense. but honestly it don’t even matter. things won’t get better. he hates me & I can’t trust him#when someone threatens you with the law & is okay with being snitch you can never trust them. with no trust nothing will get better#he don’t wanna make it work. I’m happy he disrespected me. was needed to let go as asked. I was never the one#just another lesson babygirl#I know I did my best but ain’t gonna keep being stupid for someone who disrespects me & makes everything an argument#like I literally just wanted to not have sex so I can let go. sex makes things confusing. I wasn’t fighting. n got the worst said to me.#like why can’t I get the respect I was asked for. I’ve been cordial. tryna be respectful to eachother for our kids. but he cant even do tha#ashamed in myself for letting someone in. fooled me so bad it’s crazy how someone can be so fake. I’m shocked by the reaction of my request
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if teenage years are the best years of my life why am i apologising to the little girl in my head why am i fearing my family falling apart why am i failing to accept my bio family are not good for me why am i worried about grades and jobs and life why am i preparing to mourn my best friend why am i fearing growing old why do i miss what i never had why do i miss people who don’t miss me why am i disgusted by my own urges, wants and needs why do i cry over the things i love the most why do i seek comfort in fiction because reality is against me why do i fear the touch i crave why do i feel i am dying
#thinking a bit too hard now#am i even going to survive long enough to make it all ok#why does nobody see i’m a kid#also side note obsession hurts so fucking bad especially when your object causes guilt because you know it should be someone else#pattern recognition is a curse#mmm yknow what fuck it i’m gonna elaborate briefly on everything because fuck silence i deserve to be heard for once#apologising to Boo because i ruined her life#i fear my family falling apart because most of us want to die and it’s impossible to keep everyone happy it seems#the bio family kinda speaks for itself but uuuh yeah i am not accepting my sister is bad#worried about grades and jobs because there’s a lot less money at home now but my brothers won’t cut back so i have to#which is really fucking up my progress with my ed#preparing to mourn because Angel’s been dying a while now and now he’s trying to finish the job himself#fearing growing old because will i really be better or will i spend my life miserable and psychotic#i miss Vermin again#i want him back but he was never here#i miss Wade#but i don’t think he misses me#he’s been online he’s just ignoring me#disgusted because hypersexuality is a bitch and i’ve tried sliding it into conversations with people i really need to fucking talk about it#it’s starting to feel suffocating but i’m too fucking embarrassed still#like i know it’s just a coping mechanism for all the trauma but#i can’t help feeling disgusting still#i cry over my family near every day because i just want us to be fucking happy for once#i have been clinging so hard to newer headspace members to give the others a break#two of them just happened to take the form of Chris Redfield and Mewtwo#again a sex thing i want to feel like my husbands want me but i’m too scared to do anything yet#ok confession done i’m gonna regret this tomorrow but whatever who really cares
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