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arielburrow · 2 years ago

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A touchdown to remember

Thank you for this beautiful request! I hope I followed the storyline to your liking. TW: mentions of pregnancy/miscarriage

“She’s so beautiful.” You smile as you coddle your sisters newborn. You adore her with your whole heart, but can’t help to feel a little saddened by the thought of her as well. Your sister had brought up the idea of pregnancy just a few months after being married, and before you knew it, she was growing a bump. You and your husband on the other hand, haven’t been so lucky.

Last season was a roller coaster of emotions for both you and Joe. The pressure of Joe’s rising fame, a successful playoff run, and trying to start a family was a lot to say the least. Joe assured you he was ready and that this was what he wanted, but you two just hadn’t had any luck. You were starting to get worried and even visited your OB who assured that you were in fact fertile and would be for many more years. You two spent the off-season traveling and relaxing together. It was a much different environment than during the season; however it was about to be that time of year again.

September was your favorite month. Not only because it was your birthday, but it felt like a signal month. A signal for football season, a signal for a weather change, and a signal for the holidays. Arguably some of your three favorite things.

“Joe!” You call out, arriving home from your sisters. You find him reviewing some film upstairs and wrap your arms around his body. “Hi y/n” he smiles looking at you rest your head on his in the reflection of the mirror. “How’s the baby?” he asks. “She’s good, she’s healthy and Fara says she’s right on track for all her measurements.” He pauses the film and turns to you, “That’s good to hear.” He stands up and pulls you into his arms. You giggle as he squeezes, pulling you onto the bed with him. He lies next to you and leans in to kiss you. He rolls on-top of you and hovers over your mouth. “Joe, I don’t know, I’m not really in the mood for more disappointment.” You shrug.

“hey…that is not the attitude we need right now. You know anytime can be the time.” He raises his eyebrows convincingly. “I know it’s hard baby, but we can’t give up. This is what we’ve wanted for almost a year now.” You nod and pull him into your lips.

3 weeks later

“I know, I know, tell everybody i miss them and i’ll see them soon. Okay, love you, bye.” You hang up with Robin and frown to yourself. This was the first game of the season, and you were sick as a dog. It was only 10 am, but tailgating had already begun and had people looking for you. Joe left before you woke up, you felt him kiss you goodbye just minutes before hurdling to the toilet to throw up. Since then you have been lying in bed, trying to rest enough to make it to the actual game.

You thought for some time about what could have gotten you sick. You hadn’t gone anywhere out of the usual recently, you and Joe had been home as he prepared for the season. You decide to stand up and try to walk around for a bit, feeling the nausea where off a little. As you step down the stairs, a notification goes off on your phone. Looking at the screen, you see the message from your period app, but you don’t even have to read the notification to know what it says. Your phone hits the step below you.

Suddenly the symptoms you were feeling seem to evaporate, as your mind drifts somewhere else. You sprint down the stairs to find where you had stored the pregnancy tests. The cabinet that before held so much sadness, might possibly hold hope. You run back upstairs with the box in hand and fiddle with the box until you finally get it open.

Your hands shake as you wait, you had the test upside down on the bathroom counter and you just stared at yourself in the mirror. You heard your phone ding, but didn’t dare break eye contact with the mirror. After about 20 minutes you finally talked yourself into turning over the stick. As you do so, your heart drops.

Two lines.

You immediately felt tears roll down your cheeks as you knelt to the floor. You examined every inch of the test, making sure you were seeing right. You went ahead and took two more after that, which both revealed the same result. You were having a baby.

It was now about an hour till kick off, and you had yourself composed as much as possible. Getting ready to leave, your mind raced with ways to tell Joe. A Burrow onesie? A poster? A cake? You couldn’t decide on what to do, but you knew you wanted to tell Joe ASAP.

Arriving to the suite, you catch up with everyone and assure that you were just fine. You sit through the game with a huge smile on your face, one that only grows as you watch Joe run off the field after beating the Browns.

You find him immediately after and he pulls you in for a tight hug. “Hey you! I heard you weren’t feeling good what happened?” he asks sounding concerned. “I think I just had a little stomach bug or something, but i’m good now!” You assure kissing him. After he says goodbye to his family and you hug everyone, the two of you depart to your separate cars. Driving home your mind is racing, you had to tell him now. You didn’t have any cute surprise or anything but you just couldn’t wait. This was the one thing the two of you had been aching to get for months, and you wanted him to savor every moment right along with you.

You get home before him and grab the test from upstairs and slide it into your back pocket. You hear the front door open and head back downstairs. “Jesus, didn’t realize you were an F1 driver?!” Joe laughs walking in the door. “Yeah…I just…had to pee really bad.” You lie as you both walk into the kitchen. He puts his stuff down and leans against the counter taking you in with his eyes. “You good?” he curiously questions. “Never better. You just got the first win of the season my love.” You smile and peck him on the lips. “Wanna order food? I’m starving.” He says picking up his phone, but your eyes stay glued to him. “Yeah, just, here come sit down i want to show you something.” You say leading him to the kitchen table. He sits and eyes you curiously. “Okay so…I might have lied about the whole stomach bug thing.” You say slowly reaching into your back pocket as Joe eyes you. You pull out the stick and hand it to him, watching every detail of his reaction. You watch as he accepts the test, than scans it, then finally takes in what he’s seeing in-front of him. You watch him look up to you with glossy eyes. “y/n…this is…you’re…we’re having a baby?” his voices goes higher as he stands up in question. You smile and nod with tears streaming down your face.

You immediately wrap your legs around his waist as he picks you up in a spin. You both giggle in a stream of tears and he places you back down. “Oh my god, we’re gonna be parents!” he exclaims excitedly. You had never seen him so overjoyed about something, he looked more elated than the day he won a national championship. “Joey…” You cup his cheeks and pull him close to you. “I love you so much.”

“I love you y/n”

The next couple of weeks felt like you had stepped into a whole new life. You were now managing doctor’s appointments and morning sickness continued to hit you like a brick. Joe went to as many appointments as he could, but for the most part you were on your own. Which was fine because all that mattered to you was the fact that you were carrying a healthy 7 week old baby.

The last couple of weeks have been filled with football and family, which is always the case especially in the beginning of the season. That being said, keeping the secret from both of your parents would have been impossible. You guys took them out to dinner last night and surprised them with “Baby Burrow” onesies and a picture of your first ultrasound on top. Of course there were a lot of happy tears and a lot of hugging. It made the moment feel so much more real to you. You also insisted that they keep quiet, given your plan to keep the baby a secret until later in the pregnancy.

Sitting through games through the middle of the season with family and friends always made you feel so warm for your little one. You were so excited for him or her to come into this world because you know they’d have a village of people for support. The hardest part of keeping the secret was avoiding alcohol. Your “headache” excuse had only worked for about two games, before you had to start pretend drinking. Although it was hard, it was also fun for you cause you knew once all your friends knew they would be over the moon.

At the beginning of December, Joe insisted on you being forbidden to enter the extra guest room near you’re guys shared master. “It’s a surprise!” he would insist, but it nagged at you everyday.

“Merry Christmas!” You hear Joe yell before you feel him pounce on you, careful to avoid your little bump. “Merry Christmas!” You say bringing him up to your arms. You were very thankful that once the morning sickness subsided, your symptoms were very mild. “I made us pancakes.” Joe says smiling, knowing that was your number one craving. You slid your elf slippers on and headed downstairs following Joe. One thing you two had set in stone was no matter how hectic football season got, you would always put up a tree together. It sparkled above the wrapped gifts, highlighting every ornament on the tree.

You both sat down for breakfast, but Joe was anxious to get to gifts. He wanted you to open his gift for you first of course. “Here. Open” he insists as he hands you the gift from the tree after you sit on the couch. You carefully open the wrapping and the box that sits inside it to reveal a Van Cleef Alhambra bracelet. You’re eyes light up and you smile at Joe. “Joe this is gorgeous! Thank you baby.” You stand up and hug him and he lies his head on yours. “Okay now open yours” you insist but he shakes his head. “wait! I have one more thing for you, cmon.” he leads you upstairs past your shared room and right to the closed door of the room you have been banned from for the last month.

“So i thought this was perfect timing since we decided to announce the baby soon…” He turns the handle and you step into the room, almost tripping as you do. Your mouth hangs open at the sight in front of you. It was the most beautiful nursery you had ever seen. The gender of the baby was still unknown, so the base was mostly neutral for now. There was a backsplash of vines and flowers that resembled a garden. The furniture was all set up and arranged beautifully. The floor had been redone, and the walls were painted a light forest green. “Its kinda boring now, but once we know the gender we can bring in the fun colors and stuff.” Joe says wrapping his arms around you from the back. Your eyes start to tear up, “Joe..this is so perfect…thank you.” You turn to hug him and you both remain there holding each other in awe of the room that would soon house your little one. The thought of Joe putting so much effort into this room, and your child being able to come home to it warmed you in every way possible.

It was now January, meaning you were about four months pregnant, luckily this cold weather meant big-baggy clothes could hide your growing bump. January also meant playoff season. The Bengals were making there way through, looking forward to the divisional round next weekend. You were so excited both for the game, and to finally announce your pregnancy, which you both decided to do after the game.

Today was Monday, meaning Joe was at practice, and you were doing some errands. Walking through downtown was like therapy for you. Joe was worried about you going out by yourself, but he also knew you needed it for your sanity. Walking into a local boutique, you’re greeted at the door and your immediately hit with all the bengals merchandise. This was one of your favorite things about the city, how supportive they were of the team through thick and thin. After the game, you both wanted to have your closest people come back to the house for dinner so you could make the announcement. Joe promised, win or lose, he still wanted to have the dinner; so you were shopping for some decor for the house.

Bringing your bags inside, you smile, thinking of how excited you were to finally let the cat out of the bag. You decide to lay down and rest for a while before Joe comes home. Even doing the smallest thing made you exhausted at this point in pregnancy. You are almost asleep when all of a sudden you feel a sharp pain, almost like a cramp. You sit up and wince at the feeling, confused as to what’s happening. The pain only grows worse, and as you remove the sheet from across you to stand up, you realize what is happening.

Time felt like it stopped, like you kept moving, but everything around you had froze. You weren’t sure when you picked up the phone to call Joe, or when he had ran into the room to find you hunched over in tears, or when you ended up in a hospital bed with a doctor by your side.

Once your mind finally felt like it stopped spinning, it all hit you, the look on Joe’s face, the sympathy from the doctor, the feeling of Joes hand on yours. It all crashed down on you as you let out a sob. You cried in Joes arms, no words were shared, just cried between the two of you. “Joe what happened?” you sniffle, pulling away, and wiping tears from your eyes. “He said they can’t tell exactly…” Joe veers off, “they said maybe a womb structure issue, or an infection, either could be a reason for all the bleeding. They’re running some tests now.” he finishes, wiping his own eyes. “No…I cant, how is this happening? I mean I was so far along, what did i do wrong Joe?” you whimper and his eyes meet yours. “Don’t say that y/n, you know this was not your fault baby, this was not something you could control. Okay? I need you to understand that.” you nod and he leans in to hold you again while you cry. Your mind was a mess. You had it, you had what you wanted, you were so close to being a mom, but it left far too soon.

Soon after, the doctor comes back to explain that there was some kind of infection within the placenta that rarely develops, but when it does, it inhabits wombs that are carrying children for the first time. You couldn’t really focus on what he was saying, but he informed you that your health was in the clear now, and you could go home, but had to get a lot of rest.

Both sets of parents had been in and out of the hospital, supporting you and Joe but also wanting to get everything ready at home.

You were in the hospital for less than 24 hours, but stepping inside your house felt different. Walking up those stairs, with Joe helping you along, the guilt only continues to pile up. As you make the turn to your bedroom, you stop and look at the closed door of the room next door. The room that was supposed to be your baby’s home, would never get to meet him. Him, your baby boy, your baby boy who you never actually got to meet. Your baby boy whose gender was only discovered after you had lost him. Joe kisses your head and urges you to lie down in bed.

Downstairs, you hear a few voices quietly talking. You get yourself out of bed, sick of being in the same spot for so long. Entering the kitchen you see both moms and your sister gathered around the island, with Joe sitting on the couch. All heads turn to you and you offer a small smile. Your sister pulls you into a hug, not saying anything. “We brought some flowers over and cooked some food for you guys. We’ll get going, but we’ll come check up on you guys soon okay?” Your mom says as everyone says their goodbyes. You join Joe on the couch, he opens his arms for you, but you only stay seated near him. He frowns a bit but understands. “How are you feeling?” he asks, “I’m okay, how are you?” you ask. He shrugs and you nod. The T.V plays silently as you both blankly stare at it. “I talked to Zac today, told him i’d be out of practice this week.” you turn to him with curiosity. “Okay…you’re doing that for yourself though right? You’re not doing that because of me Joe…” he shakes his head. “y/n…i need to be here for you. I don’t care if we aren’t even sleeping in the same bed, i’m not leaving this house until i’m sure you’re okay.” You wanted to argue, but didn’t have the energy. Instead you just go back upstairs and run a bath.

The sheets were changed, Robin immediately doing so once she heard the story. The bed was made brand new like nothing had ever happened. The moment you hit the pillows your eyes fall into a deep sleep.

Waking up, you hear voices downstairs and decide to stand up. walking into the kitchen, you notice both you and Joe’s mom and your sister gathered around chatting. Your sister wordlessly hugs you and you offer a smile. “Honey we brought over some food, we’ll get going now, but i’ll call to check on you later okay?” Your mother says. You say your goodbyes and notice Joe on the couch. You sit by him as you both stare at the silent television. “How are you feeling?” he asks. “I’m okay, How are you?” he just shrugs. “I talked to Zac, told him i’m taking the rest of practice this week off. I just don’t think I can handle it and i want to be here with you-” “Joe, i’ll be okay, you don’t need to do this for me.” You cut him off but he shakes his head. “I’m doing it for us baby, I can’t be out there knowing your here alone.” You nod your head and lie back against the couch.

Zac came over to the house later that night and sat down with Joe. He brought flowers and some cookies his wife baked. You thanked him and engaged in some small talk before heading to bed.

Joe and Zac sat at the kitchen table talking. “Listen, this is what is important right now Joe, I know you are capable of greatness, but you have to take care of her first.” Zac says. “I know, that’s why I can’t come to practice this week, but as for the game, i mean i’m not sure…” Joe trails off. “Listen, don’t think about that right now, when the time comes you can make a decision. We have time, it’s only Tuesday. I’ll let the guys know what happened, and as for media. I’ll keep it quiet, I promise,” Zac says. Joe thanks him and walks him out to his car once they finish talking.

The next morning Joe turns over, surprised not to see you there. Downstairs, he notices you curled up on the couch. Making some coffee, his mind runs with what could have brought you down here. “Hi lovie,” you say stretching and standing from the couch. “Hey…you okay?” Joe says hugging you. “Yeah…I just…I couldn’t sleep, I needed a little change.” Joe nods. “What do you want for breakfast?” You shrug and respond that you’re not hungry. “y/n…you have to eat.” Joe insists . He ends up making you avocado toast anyway and watching you as you eat it.

The next few days, Joe saw small improvements in your demeanor, but was still a little worried. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been pushing down his own grief to focus on you. Which, you insisted you didn’t need taking care of. Saturday rolls around and Joe finally had his decision made. You decided you wanted to get out of the house, so Joe drove you to a friends to spend the day with. “Have you decided yet?” You ask Joe in the car. “Yeah…I’m gonna do it.” Joe replied looking over at you. You squeeze his hand, “good.”

Later that night you and Joe lied in bed together holding each other. “I’m glad you’re playing tomorrow Joe. Even if you’re not completely focused, it’s better than you not being there at all.” you say looking up to him. “I know. Are you going to go to the stadium or stay here?” he asks. “I’m going to stay here I think. I don’t think I can handle all the commotion, plus by now everyone probably already knows the news and I don’t really feel like taking about it with everyone.” You say shutting your eyes. “Good, I wanted you to be here anyway, I love you.” he whispers. “I love you too.”

The next morning you shot everyone a text letting them know that you would be home today and you’ll miss them. Joe left a couple of hours ago and you were settling into the couch to focus on the game. Last night was the first night you and Joe had slept in the same bed and it was the best night you’ve had all week. You’re glad you both had this distraction for the time being, and you didn’t want to think about anything but the game. Zac did a really great job at keeping the press mild and many of Joes teammates had reached out to you. You had seen one post from some tabloid about your pregnancy which you were originally pissed about, but decided to let it go.

You watch as the game begins and they take on the Bills at home. Joe was playing good throughout the first quarter, the second one a little rocky and you could tell his mind was somewhere else. At halftime, you made yourself something to eat and stopped when you noticed the ultrasound picture on the fridge. Your heart dropped for a moment and you weren’t sure what to do. You took the picture off the fridge and headed upstairs.

Finally getting yourself to open the door that you have had mentally locked. You gaze over the room as you take in every aspect of it again. It doesn’t bring you the same joy it did before, instead it’s just a reminder of what could have been. You pick up the empty picture frame that Joe had put out on the changing table. He wanted to put the baby’s first bubble bath picture in their. Instead you open the frame, carefully placing the ultrasound picture inside and closing it again. You place it back on the changing table as a tear rolls down your cheek. You only let yourself linger for a moment before leaving the room, and shutting the door behind you.

The second half begins and you watch as the bengals take the first few snaps, making there way down the field. All of a sudden you watch as Joe quickly decides to keep the ball and takes off running. You stand up as you watch him sprint down the field, outrunning every other defender. He quickly makes his way into the end zone and you here the announcer over the television. Touchdown

You clap your hands over your mouth and smile to yourself as they show the whole stadium in cheers. They pan to the sideline where every Bengals player and coach was jumping for joy.

Then they pan to Joe in the end zone and you watch as his knees hit the ground below him and he holds the ball in his hands, staring at it with emotion filled eyes. In an instant his team is surrounding him hugging him and in cheer as they all recognize how big this moment actually is for him. The weight of the world was resting on Joes shoulders all week, this felt like a shift in reality for him and for you. You find yourself in tears once again seeing your husband in such a vulnerable state. You watch as he composes himself on the sideline and even finishes the rest of the game with a win. This was no doubt the hardest thing you and Joe had been through, but you were getting through it together.

#joe burrow #joeburrow #joe burrow fic #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x y/n #joe burrow x reader #joeburrow request #joey burrow #AMfic

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folklauerate · 1 year ago

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I’ll say something else while I’m here-one of my biggest issues with Bridgerton s2 was the lack of cohesiveness. Jesus Christ no one is upset with characters making unlikable decisions and if you want a wedding for the sake of drama, Shondaland, have a fucking wedding, but make it earned! And on top of that, the wedding episode had the fucking audacity to be boring as shit! Just all trodding on and operating off of the assumption the viewer would be aghast and would sit through nearly an hour of boring yawn snooze because there were “stakes” and it seemed like the main pair might not get together. Like for fuck’s sake have as much drama as you like but at least make it well written! Instead the wedding episode is a dirge and not because it’s a reflection of some character’s mental state or any seemingly deep reason, no; it’s like they decided there would be a wedding and shrugged when it came to getting the character’s there. It doesn’t count as good writing if you’ve spent the past months/years trying to wrap your head around or write fic around the reasons why x decision by y characters make sense to fill in gaps that shouldn’t be there in the first place and that’s all this fandom has done.

People’s issue with side plots taking up too much time isn’t really that they take up too much time-it’s that none of them follow a set of overarching themes of the season and feed into them or a main storyline in a significant way, giving the illusion to the viewer that they’re completely separate from the romance at the core and therefore taking away from it, as opposed to everything being harmonious.

On top of that, the characterizations are so fucking varied and there’s a large tonal shift between s1 and s2 in terms of the way the Bridgersibs interact with one another. Siblings can fight and be rude and whatever to one another but for them to turn into completely different people out of nowhere is so ??

And on the topic of characterizations-WHERE WAS KATE’S??? Anthony gets 28363938 motivations for why he is the way he is and then is honestly left floundering with all of them, until you’re honestly a bit ?? as to why he can’t marry for love, and then you get Kate who is just… There. Why can’t she marry for love? Why is she hellbent against marrying? Why is she prioritizing her family’s finances and Mary/Edwina above herself? What conversations did she have with her father before he died to make her this way or was she always like this? What were their lives like in India? I could keep going! At least in the book you get some half hearted “I’m too ugly and old to get a match” reason but in the show no one is going to fucking believe Simone Ashley is too ugly or old to get whatever lord she wants 😭✋ and THEN???? To top it all off-Kate and Anthony don’t have a single meaningful discussion around an entire eight episodes!!!!! Not one!!!!!!!!! What fucking growth happens between them fucking and the coma and then their fucking dance to have them propose? If the actors themselves had to invent all these so called secret conversations their characters had in between everything to make things make sense, I really don’t think that’s a hallmark of good writing. They rush that happy ending in there at the end and it feels like they forgot they had to end the fucking show with these two characters together and they just said “fuck it let them kiss” and that’s what we got. WHAT CONVERSATION OF SUBSTANCE DID THEY HAVE. And what fucking argument can you make that it’s okay that it didn’t happen on screen??) NONE!!! It’s TV! It’s a VISUAL FORMAT??? Oh my god.

I told myself I wouldn’t rant about this, just redirect people to walle’s thoughts on this, which is (in her own words) how she sat shiva for the fucking wreck of what Bridgerton s2 is. Walle if you don’t know wrote a thousand cuts and s2 was the nail in the coffin for her. It was so so so bad. It went against such basic principles of storytelling. The writing was so abhorrent. It was insane. And to defend it feels more insane it feels like you’ve been taken hostage by this damn show and you’re writing thinkpieces on tumblr and twitter to make it make sense!

What grates me is that it really could’ve been good. The juice was there. The actors are amazing. The production team is clearly so so dedicated and hard working. IT WAS ALL THERE. Honestly the way the show was marketed in the trailer feels completely different from how it came out and I have to think there was some fuckshit going on behind the scenes given the large tonal shift during/after ep 4 and CVD’s hasty and odd departure.

#Bridgerton #Bridgerton season 2 #my thoughts #told myself I wouldn’t get mad about people’s opinions this year and yet here we are

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breakingstanding · 7 months ago

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I am actually devastated over Michaela… not because I care about Michael or the book, but if they’re making Francesca queer, there’s no way they’re making Eloise a lesbian (which she SO clearly is!). I saw the spoiler of Franny and thought okay they can make 2/8 queer, and then I watched and saw they made Benedict queer too! I just can’t see them doing 3, especially 2 women.

It’s so disheartening because so many people have been rooting for sapphic eloise and I think hardly anyone was wanting Franny.

I think i’m more upset with this than if none had been queer because like ugh we were SO CLOSE. We could’ve had it all. like imagine how happy we could all be right now. 😭

they’ve been setting up queer benedict and eloise since season 1 so I just don’t understand why they would do this. (sorry for venting to you- none of my friends that’s watch are caught up yet)

Always happy for a vent, and I definitely feel you! I'm personally really excited about Francesca's storyline because I really liked her this season and Michaela is EXTREMELY hot lol - but I'm also frustrated that it's the sister we've had as a side character for one season who will be getting a queer love story, and not the one we've been invested in for three seasons.

Ultimately I think the frustration we are feeling is more because this is reflective of larger issues that always pop up in fandom than being upset about not getting a storyline we wanted for a character (although I'm not going to pretend that's not a factor too!) a) There's such a pattern in fan spaces for queer people to see themselves in a character and to recognise clear queercoding, and then to have straight people come in and condescendingly say "not all characters with x trait have to be gay" - as if we have an overabundance of queer characters and are trying to get our grubby gay hands on more. So much of the discourse around Eloise amounts to people saying "not all feminist characters have to be lesbians" which is crazy to me because WHERE are all these shows that are supposedly full of feminist lesbians?? Please tell me I would love to watch them!

b) Straight fans will get all different types of characters and plotlines for the heterosexual couples and then act like queer people are being greedy if we ask for more than one for us. Just within Bridgerton there have been three straight main couples already - and of the queer siblings we've also gotten to see a cute romance between Francesca and a man, and will likely see Benedict fall in love with a woman (this is not to diminish their queerness, obviously bisexual stories are incredibly important regardless of the gender of the love interests, more just pointing out the sheer quantity of m/f love stories straight fans get to enjoy).

It absolutely sucks that we exist in a TV landscape where instead of being excited about what looks to be a delightful relationship between Francesca and Michaela we are instead mourning the loss of other another character's queer potential. It's absurd that we are so rarely allowed to have multiple sapphic characters (who aren't each other's love interest) on the same show - particularly because in real life queer people tend to flock together!

The feeling reminds me of being part of the 100 fandom nearly a decade ago. I distinctly remember when it was leaked that Clarke and Lexa were going to kiss. The sapphic side of the fandom were definitely very excited - but there was also this strange sense of dread too. I saw countless posts of people bemoaning that now that she was gay they were definitely going to kill her off - and they were right! Bury your gays was such a common trope that we could see it coming a mile off.

This has felt like a very similar reaction. Queer fans spend a lot of time dealing with subtext and are very good at recognising tropes and patterns, and we know that the chances of Netflix allowing one their tentpole shows to have two sapphic main characters is slim to none.

I hope we are wrong and things are changing for the better, I really do.

I think the best thing we can do now is swallow our disappointment and make sure we support Francesca/Michaela fiercely to prove that there is an audience for sapphic stories.

#sorry for the essay lol #feel free to vent to me anytime #eloise bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #bridgerton #creloise #clexa #francesca bridgerton

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what-gs-watching · 7 months ago

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“What good did love do, Doctor? When did it ever help?”

So I spent last week at my parent’s house finally pulling off the surprise birthday party I’d been planning for months for my mother and I was there for farrrrr too long and I ate waaaay too much and I only had six days from when I got home to get my head right and ready to start a new job after nine effing months of doing nothing.

I’m starting on Monday and I’m super anxious about it, and everyone is posting about what’s going on with Doctor Who so obviously I decided to let Ruby and 15 turn my brain off for a bit, it’s the least they can do. Maybe that was a mistake, because woooooof y’all. I’m devastated that the season is already over.

And as such, we def need to talk about both of these episodes at the same time.

The Legend of Ruby Sunday / Empire of Death

Wherein, The Doctor and Ruby show up to UNIT to finally ask about the old woman they keep running into on their adventures, and immediately very purposefully fall into a trap.

I have to say, as much as I love 15, baby boy has NOT been very observant this season. He’s caught up in having fun and showing his feelings and all of that is fantastic and beautiful but if this had been 10 or 11 they would have been mulling over this situation the entirety of the season and I probably wouldn’t feel so much like I just got whiplash.

Like, the internet has been telling me to think about this random ass lady, instead of seeing the Doctor trying to puzzle her out in his downtime. And that’s the first time I’ve really thought to myself, ‘this is incredibly unlike the doctor.’ But we’re going to let it slide, because he’s otherwise charmed the pants off of me.

There was a lot I was definitely about in these episodes, in no particular order -

OBVIOUSLY, the Rose / Ruby bonding. Absolutely adorable. They immediately gravitated to each other and I love that. It’s so sweet. And I’ll take ANY scrap of 14 I can get, but 15 asking ‘how’s your uncle?’ really made me greedy for more. Couldn’t my girl Rose given like, even the smallest cute little anecdote? Like ‘oh, he’s really into gardening right now…’ or something? Gimme like, even the littlest bit. I neeeed it. But fine.

15’s outfits. I’ve loved all of the stuff they’ve put him in all season but HELLO that leather jacket and the cozy sweater he had on in the mish mash TARDIS? Gorgeous. Beautiful. I want to buy it right now.

Also, the mish mash TARDIS itself, and the little kiss 15 gives it at one point. Love all the random throwbacks inside that little thing even if I don’t know most of them because no, I never went back and watched the original seasons, so sue me. I’m pretty sure I spotted 11’s little scanner tv thing though, and I love that. I miss Matt Smith.

And the Doctor lashing out and punching the wall and huffing and puffing and screaming and then Mel giving him a kick in the ass. I’m going to keep talking about how I love that 15 is actually okay with showing his feelings, but I do think he got too lost in them. We all been there, boo. But like, you heard that sick TARDIS sound (that’s going to haunt my dreams) and you were just like ‘oh I’ve heard that before’? BOY you are so distracted.

Anyway, I’m vaguely aware there’s background on Sutekh that I should probably google if I want to fully understand the situation, but I’m not gonna do it. I accept that it’s the god of death and the doctor fought it once and banished it to the time vortex, but I have to say, I find the rest of the storyline a little bit weird. It hitched a ride on the TARDIS and traveled with the Doctor for basically untold amounts of time and no one ever noticed? And it’s appearance is NOT related to 14 casting that salt at the end of the universe, even though it was pretty clear that the rest of the random god appearances were?

I guess I’m willing to accept all of that, but gang. Here’s the thing. After all of that time traveling around and watching the Doctor do what he does (and admittedly trying to sabotage him by planting harbingers? I guess? Wherever they went?) you’re still not going to kill him right off when you finally hatch your plot? You KNOW he gets out of things. You know he literally gets out of everything. You’ve watched him wiggle his way out of shit because his adversaries have given him an inch but you’re like ‘it’s fine, that won’t be me, because I REALLY need to know who this random human’s mother is?’

Nah. Nah nah nah. Like, maybe if you had really tried to kill him and he got out of it, I’d be like, ‘okay fine’ but that death cloud was half-assed and they beat it on like, a moped.

If we’re going with real scary gods that have literally the power of basically everything, I’m gonna want their actions to make sense.

I also have to admit that when the Doctor was monologuing about how the whole thing was his fault, when he said about all of the things he’s done “I thought it was fun”, I found myself thinking about how he really has been playing a game of his own devising and maybe he…shouldn’t. And it felt like maybe he thought that, too. Like, when is it gonna be enough for him?

The point is, It’s super sweet that Ruby got to figure her shit out, they got me I cried at all of that, but the whole thing did feel a little disjointed to me. Which is fine, because now I’m sitting here like, ‘yo I need more’ but there isn’t more, not for forever, and clearly that’s how they get you. The arch wasn’t a cliff hanger really but also it kind of was and I’m unsatisfied. Maybe that’s the point.

And I do now agree with Tumblr that the most interesting thing in all of this is how 14 and Donna reacted to the death cloud, and their reconstitution, and the realization that Rose was at UNIT during the entire thing - that’s going to occupy my brain for a really long time.

At the end of the day, eight episodes was not enough. But I’m SO endeared to 15 and I love the direction the show is going, haters can hate all they want but Doctor Who was always weird and it was always for outcasts and it’s beautiful and stupid and silly and wonderful. Wonderful and perfectly imperfect.

Friends, this season came at a time I really needed it. I'm thankful it helped me through my forced work hiatus, it's part of the tapestry that kept me going. And that's the good that love does. Doctor Who, I love you.

#what g's watching #doctor who #dw spoilers #legend of ruby sunday #empire of death #fifteenth doctor #ruby sunday #sutekh #rose noble #fourteenth doctor

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nerdy-frog98 · 3 months ago

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I am now on season 4 of 9-1-1 Lone Star! It took me a hot minute to get here, but 💥

I want to share some opinions, but a little disclaimer; this show was not really made for me. As an ex-religious girlie, the amount of religion in the show often makes me uncomfortable. I also have a hard time with overbearing personalities, so Owen puts me off about 80% of the time. Even with all that in mind, I still really love this show. It might not have been made for me, but I can still appreciate good storylines and characters the way they were intended to be enjoyed.

First. Tarlos is the only couple I care about on this show. Nancy and Mateo are kinda cute too, and I love the Tommy dating storylines, but I am not invested in any of them like I am Tarlos. (The freeze emergency at the beginning of season 3 was so good, oh my god. The angst between them was insanely good.)

Second. As far as individual storylines go…I mainly care about Judd + Grace (as a couple), TK, and Carlos. Sometimes Tommy, and sometimesssss the others in the 126. The first four I stated though, I consistently care about their storylines. On the other hand, I *rarely* care about Owen’s storylines unless they revolve heavily around the 126 or TK. If he’s on his own with his friends or a love interest, I get so bored 😭

Third. One thing this show does almost as well as the og 9-1-1 is the platonic relationships between the characters. The 126 having game nights is so cute. TNT interactions make me super happy. It’s overall very believable that these characters love and respect each other.

Fourth. Both 9-1-1’s are traumatic, but lone star kinda feels…more and less at the same time. More side characters die in brutal ways, but the characters don’t seem to linger on the trauma the way the og characters do with theirs. Like, Tommy’s husband died and that episode was traumatic, but then the next episode she seems to be doing okay. Maybe I just binged the episodes too fast ?

Fifth, and this is more like an addition to an earlier point, but holy shit. Some of the stories on this show are so fucking good. The episode where Marjan saves the girl from her abusive fiancé was amazing, and then the following episode with her being hunted by the fiancé and ultimately being saved by herself???? THAT WAS TELEVISION, BABEY. I was sobbing so hard I had to pause and take a breather. I plan on rewatching that episode again real soon, because wowwowow.

Overall, the show is entertaining and I love a lot of what the show is trying to do. The negatives were very strong in the beginning (season one was rough with how much religion was brought up. S1 Grace was enemy #1), but they’ve gotten better as the show matured and found its footing. I’m trying to catch up so I can watch the final part of the show live. [as much as I’ve struggled with a lot of the material, I am sad it was cancelled. Wasn’t deserved.]

#watch 911 with whitney #911 lone star #911 ls #tarlos #opinions that nobody cares about but I shared anyway 🙄

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destinygoldenstar · 1 year ago

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I’ll probably post more about this in more detail, especially now that the reboot is pretty much done and dealt with. (There is no confirmed Season 3. Stop lying.)

So you know, most of what I have to say in this post is rambling and complaining, because I am ticked off. So if you like the ending of the season, good for you… this is the opposite opinion to that.

Spoilers for Season Two and it’s ending:

This season, for me, is definitely above All Stars and Paketiew. Definitely. I genuinely enjoyed the first two thirds of the season, and its slip ups weren’t too big of deal breakers for me on the season. (Except Millie. I will forever be salty about it and I can’t say I like her character anymore after what this season did with her)

The season was funny, it was engaging in a lot of plot lines, I thought the order was pretty clean, I’m enjoying it and really invested in how all of these plot lines conclude….

AAAAAAANNNND then Zee outs Caleb.

I break the season to three acts. Pre-Merge is the first act.

Episodes 6-8 is the second act.

And right when Zee outs Caleb, is where I’d say the Second Act ends, and the Third Act begins.

And the third act, in my humble opinion, is GOSH. AWFUL.

Like, OH MY GOSH, they screwed up EVERYTHING.

Except MK and Julia in Episode 9. That’s wholesome.

But other than them, literally ALL the other plot lines in the season that I was invested in were completely botched in conclusion. And I can’t like these plot lines anymore.

How do you do that?! Like, WHAT happened here?!

This may seem incohesive, but I’m just that baffled.

I don’t even care about the elimination order right now. You CAN make whatever finalist you want work so long as the story suits it. So Im not gonna say “Oh Julia should’ve won” or something like that, as a complaint. That’s personal preference.

Remember the post I made complimenting Priya and Caleb’s relationship plotline?

That aged like milk. I don’t like them anymore. They were obnoxious as I’ll get out and I just wanted them booted ASAP.

I made a post about how I thought Priya would quit instead of being eliminated. I do think that would’ve been better than what we got because at least there Priya would be making a conscious decision that no one else can factor in. Instead she acts stupid for the sake of Julia and spends the rest of the season whining about Caleb instead of the what they’ve discussed and learned from each other before.

And Caleb being a finalist? After what he’d done I’m shocked he wasn’t booted in a heartbeat after that.

I don’t think they should’ve became a couple tbh. Apologize and make up, sure, but not get together in this whole mess. With how the story was going, it seemed they’d realize and recognize that. But no. It lead to nothing. Way to go.

Damien? I don’t care if you thought he should’ve won or not. That’s not the point. The writers didn’t want Damien to be a finalist. Fine. Okay. Just make an elimination that’s logical and wraps up his storyline-

NOPE. Julia stole the idol. Which I expected, but it’s something she somehow managed to do when paranoid Damien was always around it btw. She did this OFF SCREEN. So even the writers don’t want to come up how she managed to do that difficult task. YOU COULDNT AT LEAST SHOW US?!

Why would they even eliminate Damien? No one was even after him. It’s because they didn’t want to separate Priya and Caleb…

Stupid.

It really solidified to me that Damien had no relevance to this seasons story and could’ve been written out of the story. As tragic as that is to say. Like, make Priya or anyone on the Rats the one Millie pushes down the 4 Point Slide, make Priya find the idol and lose it at her elimination to Julia, and nothing changes.

What a waste of Damien’s character.

I love Julia in both seasons. So you know. I genuinely think she and Bowie have the best character arcs of the two seasons combined. I was actually kind of routing for her in the finale?? Ngl???? Like, I didn’t hate her, I found a nastier World Tour Heather, someone who WORKED for her goals. Good person? No. But an intriguing one to follow.

But this is the definition of plot armor. Multiple times they had to make the other characters act irrationally just so they don’t vote Julia’s ass off in a heartbeat. Which, if they were rational, would do cause everyone KNOWS that Julia is a bad person!

That’s why in the first season and the first half of this season, she had to make herself getting voted off NOT an option for the others. So she won challenges to get immunity. She allied herself with MK to get an extra vote. She got on Bowies worst side to make him want to work with her.

But in the second half it’s pure plot armor.

I thought Bowies elimination and how she managed to convince an entire team to go with it was stretching things. But I could push it aside cause it made sense for Bowie to leave in that episode.

It just got worse.

Once MK is gone, Julia has nobody on her side and no excuse. They should all vote her off in a heartbeat. But they don’t because they are stupid.

They somehow trust her?! With everything she says?!

Even the smartest characters like Priya trust her. She says she knows she’s being used, but decides to let it happen. That is very OOC for Priya. One of the most game-smart characters in the entire series!

Julia being a finalist is actually an idea I’m on board for on paper. But it was just illogical how she got there.

Also, they cut the villains hair off AGAIN.

TOTAL DRAMA, PLEASE STOP SHAVING CHARACTERS HEADS. IT WAS GOOD EITH HEATHER CAUSE IT MADE SENSE FOR HER CHARACTER AND THE STORY. AFTER THAT ITS ILLOGICAL AND CRUEL FOR NO REASON. THERE ARE OTHER WAYS FOR VILLAINS TO GET COMEUPPANCE BUT YOU KEEP USING THE SAME ONE EVEN WHEN IT MAKES NO SENSE. ITS NOT FULFILLING ANYMORE AND WERE ALL SICK AND SEEING IT. YOU DRAGGED THIS THROUGH THE MUD, KILLED IT, AND NOW REVIVED IT JUST TO SMACK IT WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER.

STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!!

*breathes*

At least Julia and MK were great. Mostly because they mostly weren’t in the third act together.

Oh yeah, and there’s also Wayne and Raj. I like them. They’re fun. I like their pre-merge story.

And then Wayne won??

Yeah, Wayne, you know, the comic relief character with no strategy in a very strategic-centric season. Winning.

I can’t tell if it’s supposed to be a joke or not.

If it is, it’s funny like, the first time you see it.

If it’s not, and we’re supposed to take that seriously…

Ooh boy.

I see people compare this to Owen. I don’t think that’s fair given both seasons separate contexts, the characters screen time impact, and theming.

I personally compare this to Beth. Both are tied to someone very similar to them until the very end where their partner, who got more to do, gets eliminated, and then they proceed to fly under the radar because they’re the least nasty people left in a nasty cast remaining.

Now HOLD ON. I am NOT saying Wayne is on the same quality of a character as Beth. Far from it. Wayne will always be the better one of the two for me, because I actually enjoy him on screen, and most importantly, he wasn’t a hypocritical gross cheating creep.

Wayne winning a season CAN work on paper. I’m not opposed to it.

But this is not the way to do it.

This isn’t a guy who has won people’s hearts through being great towards them, he’s only interacted with Raj. This isn’t a guy who has quietly played his cards when necessary. This isnt a guy who has flown under the radar due to being the lesser evil. This isn’t a guy who has clear skills apparent to the viewer but not the characters.

He has done next to NOTHING all season.

I can defend Wayne having some variety of character in season 1, where he was sometimes capable of holding a leadership position, and willing to be patient and loyal, but NONE of these were portrayed in THIS season.

So pretty much, he has won by doing pretty much NOTHING.

At least Raj got a plotline that wasn’t being comic relief 24/7. And I’m not saying Raj should’ve won. Wayne can definitely be his own character, but Raj got eliminated in episode 11/13. Too little. Too late. Honestly, if you’re gonna have Wayne win, eliminate Raj earlier. Swap Raj and MK’s eliminations. At least then Julia making it far is justified cause in Episode 12 she has the idol.

I’m sorry if this is me rambling, but I was genuinely insulted and baffled by the ending of this season. This season started out really good, then declined in quality as it went on.

I definitely prefer the first season. While it’s not as funny as season two’s first two thirds, and has weaker challenges, it’s more cohesive and consistent in quality that reached logical conclusions for almost every character. Love or hate them.

This season, to me, is proof that you cannot botch endings to stories. You try something fancy and screw up, people are gonna remember the mess of an ending, and not the journey. I think that’s apparent with the reactions I’ve seen so far.

You can have a bad beginning. You can even have a bad middle. You can salvage those. But the ending is what you can’t afford to mess up because that’s what your audience will walk away from and remember.

When people look at this season, they’re gonna remember the badly handled ending rather than the good stuff in the first half.

That’s just sad, honestly.

#total drama #total drama 2023 #td priya #td julia #td wayne #td mk #td damien #td caleb #td raj

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small-tragedies · 10 months ago

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Number 03 with: Lisa Simpson!

How I feel about this character: I love Lisa so, so much in older seasons; I loved her storylines, and how much Lisa wanted to fit in and make friends reminded me of my younger self. She has always been relatable, and still, while I have some complaints about newer seasons, sometimes I have seen good storylines for her, and she’s my favorite to write about when I write fics. It’s fun to play around with what-ifs with her character that are fun to explore for me.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Okay, here it goes: Jessica Lovejoy, Allison Taylor, Francine Rhenquist, Sherri and Terri Mackleberry, Nelson Muntz, Hubert Wong, the three bullies: Jimbo Jones, Dolph Starbeam, and Kearney Zzyzwicz ( I only ship them with Lisa when she is an adult or an AU I came up with where she’s Bart’s older sister who is the same age as the bullies), Shauna Chalmers (same answer as the bullies), and many more, and that’s off the top of my head lol. What can I say? I’m a multi-shipper. 😂

My non-romantic OTP for this character: This is for obvious reasons, not romantic, lol (no incest here). Lisa and Bart. I always loved seeing the episodes where Bart and Lisa actually have a nice sibling bond, aren’t at each other’s throats, and can get along longer than five minutes. 😂 Especially in the episodes where it shows they have a stronger bond as adults than when they were children, it’s sweet in a way that they mellow out in later years and become each other’s confidantes. And even if they’re fighting, they have always had each other’s backs, and I always think they will. And I just like writing them as a stupid brother-sister duo who go to each other about their gay crushes (Lisa and Bart are both bisexual in my headcanon 😆).

My unpopular opinion about this character: Give me back old Lisa’s characteristics! Please stop making her an overly opinionated butthole who thinks she is smarter than everyone and nitpicky about stuff. She literally had a problem with her parents in an episode because she felt like they weren’t showing they loved each other like how she wanted them to! Like seriously? 😒 Lisa would have never done that in older episodes; she was genuine and kind, and I want that back in her character! 😭 It’s sadly why a lot of people don’t like her in the fandom (I still love her very much; I can be critical of her character at times, though) because everyone thinks she’s a nag, which the writers have turned her into at this point.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: She never married Millhouse and instead married Jessica Lovejoy, and they were happily married. 😁

My OT3: Lisa Simpson Jessica Lovejoy and Francine Rhenquist. I have sooo many WIPs with fics exploring their dynamic as a polycule. 🥰😍

Thanks so much for the ask, Dawn! Once again, I love getting to gush about my Simpsons brainrot. 😂💕💕💕

#the simpsons #lisa simpson #jessica lovejoy #the simpsons allison taylor #francine rhenquist #sheri mackleberry #terri mackleberry #nelson muntz #hubert wong the simpsons #jimbo jones the simpsons #dolph starbeam the simpsons #kearney zzyzwicz the simpsons #shauna chalmers #bart simpson #milhouse van vouten #asks #ask answered #ask game #tragedies answers stuff

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unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix · 1 year ago

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okay so the fact that MGG “loved” the Jeid storyline and AJ hated it, was based on the sounds of it actually extremely upset about it, seems super telling. I am probably grasping but seems to me a bit like something he might have pushed, which is gross and not a thing “friends” do when it was something that made his friend and coworker clearly upset and uncomfortable. Which I guess seems very fitting of their characters with Reid doing what he wants even if it upsets JJ.

but god how the actors and creators felt about it just makes me hate it even more and also hate MGG. Ugh. Ew. Poor AJ.

I don’t know much about MGG (or the actors’ friendship irl) but I feel like he was always just into the idea of JJ and Reid together from the beginning. Especially when it’s the whole “nerd boy x pretty girl” trope (I hate to say it lol). Idk if he jokes around with it bc of the unauthorized docs as an example and he jokes around a bunch in general, but I know he had a crush on AJ irl if I’m not mistaken.

AJ (from what it seems) in the early seasons didn’t have much against the idea bc she was curious of how it would’ve gone after that date (mostly bc the show wouldn’t emphasize much on characters’ personal lives). And she did admit herself that she saw them as more like siblings, but I think she jokes in a silly “what if they had hooked up” way and understood the show would never go there. Then over time, it seems like the way she talks about JJ and Reid’s friendship, she makes it clear that they’re only platonic friends.

I’m not a huge fan of MGG and for some reason, he doesn’t vibe so much with me. But I’m not sure if he’s the one that pushed for the prison storyline also and it was honestly unnecessary for the show (I think the reason was to put him in more dramatic scenes which to me is off bc he’s not so good of an actor haha). So it wouldn’t surprise me a lot that he wanted this jeid storyline and it makes no sense, like for what? For Reid’s closure on JJ “reciprocating” his feelings? It seems more like an opportunity for his to show off dramatic acting but let me tell you… he wasn’t even that great in the eps for jeid! In fact, AJ did way more work carrying the storyline she didn’t even want and was forced to perform. She did her job well and still hated it. And it makes me more mad too when Erica finally decided to go against even her own narrative of JJ and Reid being like siblings, just for more pain to Reid’s character (her profiting character). Little to no regard to how it will affect JJ’s character! And AJ thankfully knows her character well enough that it does not look good on her part (especially with the obvious fact that she’s married).

#sorry for the rant there lol #the bts decisions is what makes me even more angry about the storyline so I’m with ya anon #jennifer jareau #criminal minds #anon asks #alyssa’s asks

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young-royals-confessions · 1 year ago

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I will be honest I almost had a full on panic attack when they announced they were splitting the season and doing it in such a weird way too and on top of that, making us wait a whole week when they could have done Monday first 5 and then Friday last one to let people have the whole weekend off. Marketing wise it would have been the same and even more effective, especially since I don’t believe the last episode will last that much, I don’t even know if they have enough footage to do some sort of double episodes combined as they filmed for the very same amount of days as s2 and for 45 minutes it takes them 10 whole days.

I’m genuinely worried about the week in between the first and last episode, and I know this is 100% on me, but I already know it won’t be a pleasant experience for me. Far from it. In the last year my anxiety got a lot worse and I’m a paranoid/overthinker on a good day, this absolutely will destroy me. I might end up watching it all on the 18th but that would mean I’d have to stay off sm AND I’m also tired of waiting. It’s been a long journey, I’ve been in the fandom since 2021 and I’m ready to say goodbye to yr (with a broken heart, but it is time).

Fandom and other things around it have made me sadly enjoy the whole process less and I’m exhausted. I’m scared I might end up not liking the last season, I’m scared they might ruin stuff, I’m scared they might be adding too much for the sake of drama/fan service when there is barely time to resolve and conclude the already established storylines for 5 main characters. I’m also scared wilmon won’t be given the rightful time to just be, to build something, to talk, to be able to be happy and silly boys in love and just insert them in difficult situation one after the other for, again, the sake of drama. Again, this is on me, but this is how my brain works. I’m definitely looking at it with way less expectations than the ones I had for s2, but it’s also natural to have some.

I don’t want/need Lisa to suddenly be generous and decide to use fanservice as tool device to get people to love her/continue support her. I’m okay with her sticking to her original plan. I actually find that admirable, bc a lot of screenwriters end up ruining their stories to make fans happy for the sake of support, but she has always been firm on separating what she wants and what we want. I just hope what she wants includes a bit of happiness and silliness too. Especially after s2.

💜

#yr s3 #series finale #anxiety #yr fandom #lisa ambjörn #🫂

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buddiebeginz · 1 year ago

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I wasn’t sure if I was going to write this but it was bothering me and I don’t see anyone else talking about some of this so here goes. Heartstopper season 2 brought a lot more focus on Charlie’s ED and I’m glad because we don’t see men dealing with that much at all in media and men definitely do.

My issue comes with how Charlie’s ED affects his relationship with Nick and will in the future (I haven't read the comics yet but from what I know it's an on going part of the story). I know a lot of people will see this storyline and say Nick is the best most supportive boyfriend ever (and he so is) but I also don’t want younger people watching this getting the wrong impression on some things.

Having an ED is not Charlie’s fault. Whatever time he needs to figure that out and work through it he deserves. He also deserves to have the people who love him support him through this. However speaking as someone who was in a relationship with a person who had an ED and other mental health struggles (including spending time in psychiatric hospitals) and as someone who has also dealt with my own mental health issues including self harm and panic attacks I want people to understand that there's a lot more to this kind of stuff than just loving and supporting someone during their struggles.

For one thing and something I've already been seeing in Charlie and Nick's relationship that has bothered me is Charlie has lied to Nick on numerous occasions because of his ED. Now this is quite common for people dealing with mental health issues especially stuff like ED and self harm because there's a lot of shame and the feeling you don't want to be a burden to the people you love. You're already battling a lot of negative feelings of self worth so of course you're going to think your problems don't matter. But that still doesn't mean it's okay to lie to someone who is supposed to be your partner. The lying and the sneaking around is what forms the cracks in a relationship and can ultimately lead to it deteriorating. It erodes the trust you're supposed to have in your partner and them feeling like they can trust you. I can already see a little of this happening with Nick and Charlie. Not that I think it will cause them to break up but I do think Nick is going to have some difficulty trusting Charlie completely right now.

I also think that Nick has to be mindful not to take on all of Charlie’s struggles as his own. Again speaking from experience there’s a difference between love/support and fully taking the weight of someone else's burden on top of your own personal stuff. I think far too often media romanticizes these things like in order to love someone you have to save them from themselves which just isn't true. The first person you should be taking care of is you because you can't be a good support system to someone else if you're not looking after yourself and addressing your own needs.

The other thing I think it's important to emphasis is you can't force anyone to change or get better especially not on your timeline they have to do it on their own and for their own reasons. It's clear that Nick loves Charlie and wants him to get better and likely season 3 will have a lot of that storyline incorporated but I also hope we see Charlie really recognize he has some problems and want to get help for himself more than just for Nick or anyone else. I also hope Nick speaks up if he doesn't like something Charlie does like lying or hiding things. I also hope we get a scene where Nick talks to someone about how he feels about it all maybe Tao (I love how their friendship as been developing). It's just it's clear Nick already has a lot of feelings about all of this some he's shared with Charlie some likely not but when you have a partner who is ill it affects you a lot too and Nick will need support too.

Anyway I'm not sure how much of this made sense I just wanted to get some of my thoughts out. Feel free to disagree or respond with other thoughts especially if you're someone who is like Charlie and has or had an ED. I'm not at all trying to judge or hate on anyone with EDs or any other mental health issues and definitely not trying to hate on the show. I love Heartstopper and Nick and Charlie's relationship. This storyline just got me thinking a lot about things I've gone through. If you read this all thanks. ❤️

#heartstopper #narlie #hs s2 #tw: eating disorder #tw: ed #tw: self harm #tw: mental health #hs!

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winderlylandchime · 1 year ago

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He made another fucking list! There is another piece of paper taped to my wall! I am officially starting a bidding for this man, the starting price is 1 dollar. I walked into the living room to him sitting on a couch looking at the paper and he kept saying ‘I’m missing something’ Apparently my brother is the dumb version of Nancy Drew. The list is about Ben and the drugs and how that will play into s3 and obviously Britin as well. I did have to reveal to him yesterday that he is on steroids because my brother was convinced it was cocaine. Now I’m wishing I didn’t. So this is what he wrote on it. It’s split in half and the top half is called Ben+steroids and the points he made are: -Ben goes to rehab and the season revolves around that to try and make him less boring, -Ben gets Michael into steroids but that’s just dumb, cmon (his name) you can do better than that, -Ben ODs and we are back to debbie hating him, -he loses his job and itll be embarrassing for me to watch -they use this to write off the actor but then Mike becomes annoying again, and my all time favorite -it was just a trick bc in reality what happened was Benny gave that guy a lecture about Buddha. So that was all on the ben part. The Britin part is him trying to work out his previous theories: -I don’t think the reverse sugar daddy thing will happen, i mean he has a 30k worth car. -Justin will wake up one day and look up and see that goatee and dump him immediately, -okay so Justin is not gonna cheat with Brian so maybe Brian does something really cool which leads to Justin realizing he is the one, -or Ethan does something even more boring than simply existing and Justin has a wake up call. -maybe Bri can get him to do more posters for work and thats how they connect again through the love of sex and art, -BRIAN ADMITS THAT HES IN LOVE AND FUCKING SAYS IT! With his full chest! And makes it romantic but not too romantic so that he doesnt freak out. And in a very very small letters he wrote in the bottom ‘it’s still fuck Ethan till the day I perish!’

So that’s what the new addition on the wall is now. Dramatic and dumb just like he is.

Also i genuinely cannot believe you have people coming to you about the fire house thing he said. I will admit that even I have had moments where i go ‘damn, he just spilled some tea’ while he’s talking, meanwhile this idiot is 60% pain pills while he is blowing my mind with random shit he says.

The funny thing is that that fire house is kinda our “inside joke” minus the joke part. When he was little and i did something bad that i would think my parents would kill me for, he would calm me down by saying ‘the house is not on fire’ basically trying to reassure that no matter what, all is okay. So it kinda became our thing and then every once in a while he would do something dumb (like get rainbow hair) and i would get a call/text that just said ‘the fucking house is burning the fuck down!/the bitch is on fire and it’s blazing!’ And that was basically a ‘take this as a warning that I pissed them off’. And when i mentioned that the next day, this dumbass couldn’t even fully remember what he said. He remembered it all except the water part which is annoying cause that was the part i wanted him to clarify. I swear to God we are (kinda) functional human beings. It just doesn’t look like it right now.

ALSO!! We might actually get to the break up tomorrow! He wants to watch 4 and 5 today sooo we are getting closer!!

Okay! You heard it here first folks - Brother Anon is up for adoption. Come make your intentions known.

These lists! Compared with your brother’s ideas, Ben manages to make steroid abuse boring. He’s going to be so disappointed.

Hopefully he won’t be disappointed with the Ethan-cheating storyline. I dislike it (I want Justin to choose Brian and nonmonogamy because he decides Ethan and monogamy are not a good fit for him, not because Ethan cheats) but also the “Brian never had to apologize” line is iconic and I think your brother will like that.

Okay but that’s a sweet story about how he would comfort you as a brother by telling you the house was not on fire. I love that that line was from that.

Keep us updated dear sweet anon!

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

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basnatural · 2 years ago

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Okay, buckle up guys, this is gonna be a long one…

So, a bit of a story time to start with. I went to like the last and only Birmingham UK Creation Con when it was over. I managed to get autographs with Jared and Jensen, and I was having a great time and living my best SPN life.

It came time to line up for the autos and I went to Jared’s line first. When I got to the front, much to my delight he was playing Bon Jovi as his signing music. I have been a major fan of Bon Jovi since Crush came out back in 2000, and Jared is my favourite so I just said “I love your music, dude,” he smiled, thanked me, signed my shit and I left happy.

Until I got to the front of Jensen’s line. Now one thing you need to know about me is that I am a total dork. I can’t speak to famous people and it is one of the main reasons I never want to meet any of my favourites in real life. Jared was clearly an anomaly. So I got to Jensen, and he was playing something almost techno. It wasn’t good, but I’m not a techno girl so the only thing that came out of my mouth was:

“His music’s better than yours.”

My brain is screaming at me, threatening me with imploding just to get out of the situation my stupid mouth had put me in. And Jensen just looked at me.

“What’s he playing?” he asks me. I’m beet red at this point. I’m surprised anything came out of my mouth to be absolutely honest with you.

“Bon Jovi,” I almost whispered, the words fighting past my brain who had apparently decided that I wasn’t allowed to speak properly for the rest of the weekend.

“Still?” He asks, and all I do is nod. And then he looks at his assistant and goes: “Put some Zeppelin on or something will ya, cos that’s the second person who’s told me that,” and then he smiled and I escaped.

So with all that being said, It was Jon Bon Jovi’s 61st birthday last week. And as well as this story living in my head rent free at all times and playing back on a continual loop, I also started to think about how Bon Jovi was a bit of a ‘guilty pleasure’ band when it came to Supernatural. From Dean making fun of Sam for checking in under the name Sambora (the original lead guitarist from Bon Jovi), to them singing Wanted in season 3…they were never seen as seriously as bands like AC/DC, Kansas and the like.

However, I made up a playlist of my favourite Bon Jovi songs the other day so I could relive my teenage years, and as I was listening to it, it was jarring to realise how many of the songs had lyrics which really spoke to the characters of Dean, Sam and Cas. It’s weird, but as I was listening to the songs all I could see was where they might slip into the storyline. It might be the fan fic writer in me (who am I kidding, it definitely is), but it’s all I could think of and now I want to share it all here. So we’ve got the name of the song, who I think it relates to, the album and a clip of lyrics that I think prove my point…enjoy!

1 – Runaway (Bon Jovi, 1984)

“All your life all you asked when your daddy gonna talk to you, but we’re living in another world, tryin’ to get your message through. No one heard a single word you said. They should have seen it in your eyes, what was going around your head…”

Well this is clearly pre-season 1 Sam. I see it as him trying to get it through to John about how he wanted something different from his life.

2 – You Give Love a Bad Name (Slippery When Wet, 1986)

“An angel’s smile is what you sell, you promise me heaven then put me through hell. Chains of love, got a hold on me, when passion’s a prison you can’t break free…”

I see this as a young Dean. Womanising, young, just sleeping through the lower 48…loving and leaving them really. A bit of an edge and dangerous with it too…you know exactly the person he changes from as Supernatural continues on

3 – I’d Die For You (Slippery When Wet, 1986)

“If you could see inside my heart, then you would understand, I’d never mean to hurt you, baby, I’m not that kind of man. I might not say I’m sorry, yeah I might talk tough sometimes, and I might forget the little things or keep you hangin’ on the line…”

So I would definitely say this was pretty much Dean’s personal anthem for Sam. I don’t think much more explanation is needed but this is literally Dean’s mantra when it comes to his baby brother. It shows that he is flawed but everything he is doing he does it for Sam. It may be a love song originally but the words really do ring true with brotherly love too.

4 – Bad Medicine (New Jersey, 1988)

“I ain’t got a fever, I got a permanent disease, it’ll take more than a doctor to prescribe a remedy, I got lots of money but it isn’t what I need, gonna take more than a shot to get this poison out of me. And I got all the symptoms, count em, one, two, three…”

Well if this isn’t just how Ruby got Sam hooked on Demon Blood?

5 – Born to be my Baby (New Jersey, 1988)

“Light a candle, blow the world away, table for two on a TV tray. It ain’t fancy baby, but that’s okay, our time, our way. So hold me close better hang on tight, buckle up baby it’s a bumpy ride, we’re two kids hitching down the road of life, our world, our fight…”

So I see this as a young Dean not knowing any nursery rhymes and singing this to Sam to get him to sleep when they were alone and John was out hunting…

6 – Keep the Faith (Keep the Faith, 1992)

“Father, father, please believe me, I am laying down my guns. I am broken like an arrow, forgive me, forgive your Wayward Son…”

Well taking the obvious quote out of the way…this is for Dean. About Dean.

7 – Hey God (These Days, 1995)

“Hey God, tell me what the hell is going on. It seems like all the good shit’s gone, It keeps on getting harder hangin’ on, but hey, hey, hey, hey God. There’s nights you know I wanna scream, these days you’re even harder to believe, I know how busy you must be, but hey, hey, hey, hey God, do you even think about me?”

So I’m seeing this as Season 4 and 5 Dean and even Cas a bit later on, when he starts to question Chuck’s plan. When they all think that Chuck is good and have no idea what his plan actually is for them all…

8 – These Days (These Days, 1995)

“I was walking around, just a face in the crowd, tryin’ to keep myself out of the rain. Saw a vagabond king with a Styrofoam crown wonder if I might end up the same. There’s a man out on the corner, singing old songs about change, everybody’s got their cross to bear these days…”

I have Castiel in my head, just been made newly human and been thrown out of the Bunker and abandoned by Dean and trying to get through his new life.

9 – It’s My Life (Crush 2000)

“It’s my life, it’s now or never, but I ain’t gonna live forever, I just want to live while I’m alive. My heart it’s like an open highway, like Frankie said ‘I did it my way’, I just wanna live while I’m alive…”

Is this Sam and Dean when they realise they are Michael and Lucifer’s vessels?

10 – Undivided (Bounce, 2002)

“I found spirit, they couldn’t ruin it, I found courage in the smoke and dust, I found faith in the sounds of silence, deep down it’s ringing out in each of us,”

Pretty much the entire undercurrent of the second half of the series. The way in which Cas and the Winchesters fight back each time against fate and what has been written for them.

11 – Everyday (Bounce, 2002)

“I used to be the kind of guy, who never let you look inside, I’d smile when I was crying, I had nothing but a life to lose, thought I had a lot to prove, in my life there’s no denying…”

This is exactly how Dean was in the beginning before his character growth. He had to be the strong fighter and not show any weakness at all (‘no chick flick moments’)

12 – Bounce (Bounce, 2002)

“Bounce, bounce, nothing’s gonna keep me down, bounce, bounce, stand up shout it out, bounce bounce, I play hard I play to win, count me out, count me in, I’ll be coming back again…”

This is Sam, Dean and Cas. Dead and out so many times but they always find a way to come back. And that’s why we love them

13 – Always (Crossroads, 1994)

“And I, will love you, baby, Always, and I’ll be there forever and a day, always. I’ll be there til the stars don’t shine, til the heavens burst and the words don’t rhyme, and I know, when I die, you’ll be on my mind and I’ll love you always…”

Well unlucky number thirteen and my last choice is for everyone’s favourite angel, Castiel. I don’t think I need to explain this one??

Anyway, here’s the link for the playlist with all of these on them and a few more that I love so have a listen if you’ve gotten this far and let me know what you think:

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soul-wanderer · 2 years ago

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06x08//I Know A Place - weekly recap (I guess that’s a weekly thing now)

There’s a lot to unpack about this episode, so let me start off by saying that this is hands down one of the best episodes that has ever been written on this show (thanks to Leah Gonzales, who basically has a flawless track record on the show so far) and I’m here for it. I will also point out some minor points first before getting to the main parts of this episode, because those will need more writing.

- The time jump in the beginning felt a little jarring, but that’s apparently an issue the show has refused to work on for six seasons and counting, so we better accept that they simply skip major parts of storylines

- The time jump also leaves us wondering what the hell happened to Maya’s phsyical health? Guess she’s fine now? Kinda hard to believe that her only issue (physically) is her sprained ankle, but okay.

- Diane is back! (and we all love it)

- Theo got a bit of his own storyline and while it wasn’t a “big story”, I’m still glad they gave him that, because we once again saw his soft and caring and passionate character and it’s just the best thing

- Dixon being a jerk as usual but Ross doing The Right Thing and it was great. Was it unexpected after what she had told him earlier? No. Was it still incredible? Absolutely yes. The only thing spoiling this story a little was them injecting Sullivan into it once again towards the end, but at least that wasn’t downright awful this time.

- Maya and Diane: Finally. HMU did a fantastic job at making Maya look like she was feeling on the inside, and it was about time she started some proper therapy. The storytelling was really great and thoughtful and heartwrenching, even if they basically sped up months and years of trauma processing to fit it into one episode. But at the very least Diane made it clear that Maya would need regular sessions for the next few months at least, so they did not pretend Maya would be fine after one day with Diane

- random side note: it’s been discussed why Maya’s dad was so weirdly focused on her cousin. My best bet is that dude cheated on Maya’s mum and that kid has been his all along. But that’s just a bit silly thinking here, if anyone else wondered what was going on there too.

- Vic. Let’s get to Vic, okay? The woman who has been through so much in past seasons and is still so easily overlooked in her struggles, once again reaching her breaking point, but for once she does not push it away. I am really damn glad they included that scene of Vic acknlowledging that she is, in fact, absolutely not okay, and that it’s okay to share this pain with others. Also VERY important to note: Theo listened. Not only that, he also didn’t try to argue, or make this about him. He shut right up about his own issues once Vic opened up about her own feelings. He acknowledged them and was there for her. We know he is kinda awkward around feelings and using words, but goodness, did he show up with his listening and hugging skills. Ladies and gentlefolks, get yourself a partner like this, for real. Oh, and a friend like Travis, too, because that group hug was absolutely wonderful. Let’s hope they’re giving Vic some therapy too in the future, she sure as hell needs it.

- We don’t talk about the final scene, right? Okay, thanks, because that one’s wrecking me and I basically waited for a visual like this the moment Diane started talking about little Maya. I’m fine, I stg I’m fine after this.

PS: And for the love of god, can everyone in that damn station please stop trusting that Eli dude? No one ever found out why he randomly showed up at the station and selflessly offered his help, and I can’t believe the writers are trying to sell the fact that every single person on that show is dumb enough to never even question his motives. Seriously. But I’m still here for sassy Andy (”I’m literally the one who would show up”), as long as she doesn’t fall for this dude - she already has a bad enough track record in the boyfriend department as is, okay?

#Station 19 #06x08 #Maya Bishop #Vic Hughes #Theo Ruiz #I know a place #recap #everybody needs a Theo in their life

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collecting-stories · 2 years ago

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Okay obx after season one feels super kid show like to me it’s literally an ma show but they don’t cuss anymore or anything also certain actors for the show literally seem so over this show as a whole like they didn’t go to a ton of interviews for the show this season and the whole pougelandia speech they had Sarah do was weird to me and I wish they didn’t put jj and kie together so unnecessary to do that cause no everyone in the group is dating and I doubt they’ll break any of them up the writing was good season 1 then it went downhill after but also I don’t really like the show either because everyone from the show in real life Is problematic or dating or hangs with problematic people like it’s crazy how famous they all are now and how many followers they have 2020 right after the show came out when everyone were friends was the vibe anything after like right after it came out the vibes were gone the new season gave me like shows I watched when I was young I also don’t think any of them act very well

There is a lot to unpack here but I’m gonna try lol…

I don’t necessarily feel like the last season of obx felt like it was for kids so much as I felt like they were trying to be more family friendly. I think with the first season the idea was that the show was for like teens/young adults. After it took off and really got popular I think the Pate’s and Netflix realized it was whole families that were watching together, not just the demographic they intended to appeal to. I mean, I’ve watched some really great kids shows on Netflix (Anne with an E, Julie and the Phantoms, Babysitter’s Club, She-ra) and just because no one really curses on obx and there aren’t any explicit scenes doesn’t make it a kids show. I curse a lot irl but I don’t think that cursing has ever added to a tv show (language is vast and unending, you don’t need to say fuck twenty times to get your message across and if you do that’s just bad writing).

I obviously can’t speak to actors’ decisions not to do every interview but I’d imagine that some of it had to do with scheduling conflicts. Like yeah, for the majority of them OBX was their first major show but it’s not the only show they’re ever gonna work on. I mean Madelyn Cline alone has a lot going on, and I know Rudy has done one or two other things besides OBX, it stands to reason that they aren’t just sitting around waiting for interviews post-filming and that they have other job obligations. I also don’t really think not being on an interview is proof that they’re “over” the show. Maybe they are but also they’re making a shit-ton of money so I’m sure they can suck it up and be professional.

Story wise, I’ll agree that I didn’t really love this season, which I’ve definitely said multiple times. It just didn’t have the same vibes as season one. I’ll agree too that I didn’t love the Poguelandia speech or even the idea that Poguelandia (which is a stupid name, thanks JJ) was paradise on Earth. I can’t go on vacation with someone for longer than three days without absolutely losing my shit (and I know that’s just my autistic ass not transitioning well but you can’t tell me getting stranded on a deserted island was all good times…I’ve seen Castaway).

I think the Kiara/JJ storyline was all fan service. Which like, on the one hand I love fan service. But you know who does fan service well? Pysch. After season one I think the vast majority of the fandom wanted Jiara to happen but the Pate’s had already written Kiara getting with Pope and weren’t prepared to amend that who season one ending in season two just for the fans. But obviously in season three the fans won and Jiara became a thing (I’m still holding a candle for JJ/Pope).

As far as the cast being problematic…as I said earlier, this show got way bigger than anyone could’ve known and this was the first major show for a lot of this cast. When you become that famous that quickly you aren’t gonna make everyone happy all the time and you don’t have a team of people curating everything you do and say. Also I hate this idea that someone is problematic and we immediately can’t like them anymore like…there just needs to be some definition to the term or something.

Yeah I’m sure some 20-somethings who are suddenly super famous and who exist in a timeline where everyone strives to know everything about you all the time aren’t going to have the most spot-free reputation but unless they like actively murdered someone/assaulted someone/are antisemitic/racist/homophobic/transphobic/Islamophobic etc. I’m not gonna subscribe to this idea that you can’t like their work because they’re problematic. (Harry Styles is problematic but everyone loves him…I love Taylor Swift. Is she problematic? Yeah, a lot of the time). People are people and they aren’t perfect. And expecting a 20 year old that suddenly has hundreds of thousands of followers to be is insane.

And finally, I disagree that none of them can act. As I’ve said before, I think Madelyn Cline and Drew Starkey are their most talented actors. Jonathan Daviss and Rudy Pankow are also fantastic actors and they’ve really had some excellent scenes where I’m just blown away by their talent. So I wouldn’t ever say none of them can act.

tl;dr - I can’t even summarise this…basically, I keep saying I don’t want to talk about the actors just the show and somehow end up talking about the actors.

#some more obx thoughts

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