#i’ll probably fall asleep an hour in
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ooookay maybe i am a little excited about my party (surprisingly). it’s angel/devil themed (of course) and i’m the demon king (obviously) and i have horns and a septor soooo
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#my dad is starting shit with me again and just continuing fights and bringing up shit that has nothing to do with anything#and even when I try to calm the situation he just gets worse and keeps berating me#I want to get out of the house but my partner hasn’t talked to me all day or even checked our message chat#so I don’t want to bother them or just show up without them saying it’s ok#not that they’d have much problem with it probably but if they don’t acknowledge it I don’t want to startle them or something#and idk what if they are mad at me and that’s why they haven’t talked to me today? or if they’re having a bad day too?#they’re not gonna want to deal with my bullshit if they’re not having a good day either#so that’s another problem to contend with#and I’m also really tired and fatigued already because of some recent health issues and just packing my go bag is wearing me out a bit#I don’t really want to pack up the whole car and drive an hour to their house after midnight when I’m already not doing great#so I know I should just stay in my room and get some distance or do my own thing until I fall asleep#but God I just don’t want to be here anymore#tbh I do kinda wanna be dead and I wish I could do something about that#idk if I’m fully suicidal or anything but it’s like… I want to make my dad see how much he needs me and I want to get a fucking break#I want someone to take care of me and worry about me for once instead of giving up everything to him#I wish I killed my self at 16 like I wanted to so I wouldn’t have ever had to deal with any of this bullshit#I sort of wish I could kill myself now just to be done with all of this#but suicide takes too much planning and hassle these days so what’s the point anyway#I guess I’m just depressed and lonely and all that#I’m sure I’ll be fine in the morning#but right now I just really wish I had someone to talk to and cry on and tell me it’ll all get better soon#personal
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I really need to stop doing the thing where I say “oh I’m just gonna take a little nap”, and then I wake up like 4-5 hours later
#because it’s currently 8pm and I just woke up#and it was the kind of sleep where I woke up thinking that it was already morning#and I have to be up in like 8 hours so now I’m gonna be awake for another few hours and then fall asleep again for probably like 4 more hour#my sleep pattern is fucked up 😂 because I’ll do this and then try to force myself the next night to go back to a normal sleep time#so on weekday nights when I have to be up at 4 in the morning I’m staying up late til like midnight but in weekend nights when I can stay up#and sleep in the next morning I’m crashing at like 8 or 9 on and waking up at 5 in the morning. like wtf me#but I just lay down after my shower to watch tiktoks and then I was gonna get up and eat#but that was 5ish hours ago and somehow I fell asleep
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help I just wanna play splatoon but I have to revise :(
#I started playing it again this week and it’s so much more fun than I remember#I’m having a great time#I got up early today!! but I was then falling asleep trying to watch my lecture#and I have another to do (last one!!) but I. stopped working at 12 to ‘have lunch’#actually seeing it’s the last one is a very good motivator and I only have like 40 minutes of it left#i can do 40 minutes easy and then start writing it up that’s not bad at all#if I say I’ll go until 6 for now just to have an end point so I’m not trapped in The Endless I’ll be fine#but goddamn people keep texting me (if you can read this it’s not about you ily) and I. would like to not deal with them specifically rn#aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA okay fuck that will deal with that later it will have consequences but it’s fine#I have to wash up too >:(#it’s just a plate but still#okay fine. I will. go wash up. and then lecture. by which time probably around 5:20#and I can spend ~40 minutes writing out the basics of the two lectures I watched today that’s manageable I can do that#and it would put me a significant step forward which I need rn#and if I can do that okay for just 1.5 hours. I can have some time before i eat to play the silly squid game <3#luke.txt
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How awful of a decision do you think it would be if I didn’t sleep at all tonight
#at this point I’d only get 5 hours anyway before I have to be up for school#I’m pretty sure I can manage#I have pretty easy lessons tomorrow#of course then I have singing after school which.. is far from great#and I also have to go to the store#but I think I’ll be able to handle it#worst case scenrio I fall asleep during free period#look I’m just genuinely not tired rn I won’t be able to sleep if I tried#ughhhhhhhhhhh#I don’t wanna go to school#this past week was miserable because I was sick#but at least I didn’t have to go to school#okay. okay. I’ll probably end up pulling myself together soon enough#and get at least some sleep#hopefully#we’ll see
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pulling an all nighter for mockingjay let’s go !!
#i’ll probably call it a night and fall asleep in a few hours but we’ll see#wishing i have coffee right now but i don’t so a bottle of water will have to do#it’s just that i want to read this book and finish the series in peace and quiet and i can’t HAVE that when this week finally ends so#mockingjay#the hunger games#thg#katniss everdeen#<33#nadirants
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i’ve currently been up for 34 hours :—) would anyone like to knock me the fuck out so i can finally sleep?
#i’m so fucking tired#if i just lay down and try to sleep my mind will wander and i’ll probably have another random panic attack#these attacks have been lasting hours and hours on end and i can’t stop them#if i distract myself enough i can keep them at bay but i haven’t gotten any sleep#last night was so brutal for me but i need to keep my brain occupied#maybe i’ll fall asleep while trying to watch this movie i’ve seen a hundred times
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I may start work at 5am (getting up at 4AT THE LATEST) but I am not and never have been a morning person. I don’t get home until around 3pm, 4-4:30ish if I have enough spare spending money to stop for fast food for dinner. (If I didn’t feel like grabbing a frozen meal before leaving) making appointments for literally anything, hanging out with friends for anything other than a quick dinner before my *extra early bedtime that sleep problems in general stop me from even being able to utilize*, or going out to run errands, or just existing outside my house while there still daylight-
Avocados and coffee are the issue though, nothing systematically wrong at all.
Ok wait let her speak
#retail#textpost#text#why don’t you just take some melatonin! - Well Stacy#lemme tell you. the fun tasty little gummies that are at most like 5mg don’t do shit for me. neither do the 10mg pills u can find sometimes#although#if I take like 40mg ish I’ll probably fall asleep for like 5-6 hours. usually just a bit of a nap though#the worst nap ever btw#not at all rested#just waisted time laying unconscious#mostly this is something to do with my adhd meds and such since they are stimulants.#and THOSE are at one of the highest doses even available.#on top of working#so early#I also have my college classes to keep up with#it would be nice#just#so nice#if I could go for a walk sometimes.#but it’s dark#or late#or suspicious#being a night owl in our society is so unsustainable
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God I’m so tired… 😭 My dad ask for help to do the floor of one of our neighbour’s app and it took 2 hours longer than I expected 😭
#i didn’t sleep well and didn’t expect to help my dad told me he wouldn’t need help so I wasn’t prepared for that bfkdbdj#i don’t mind but we hate at almost 8pm when we usually eat around 6pm :’)#now it 9:30 and I have an headache and feel so weak fkbsjdbjd#hopefully it make me go to sleep early cause I have to get up at 6:30-45 🤪#i usually fall asleep late and sleep like 4 hours thank god I don’t do much on this small job#that remind me I wanted my dad to give me my money at the end of the month so it’s easier for me to calculate what I need to pay#but Sowon already need food cause they small bags last like 3 weeks 😭#but i can’t buy the bigger bag cause I only get 50$ per Sunday and the big bags are 80-90$ 😐#cause the big once last me 3 months I prefer to buy them 😭#anyway I’ll stop complaining about money and answer asks and do my job as a broke supporter cause it’s the least I can do#i don’t think I can make a list still or I’ll make one with only 6 people :/#but seriously those neighbours are so sweet 🥹#the husband left at one point to work and the wife dosen’t speak French well yet and she was a bit shy#so at one point at caught her trying to move a big washing machine by herself while she’s 8 months pregnant so I call my dad to help#cause she deserve to be serve and relax !!! it was so heavy I couldn’t even do it :’)))#she scold us when we try to clean something for her though my dad didn’t fight ckbdkdjdnd#my uncle help my dad with something and told them he would bring them a baby chair and clothes for their little girls 🥹#probably my cousin’s kid baby clothes maybe even my goddaughter’s clothes she probably got some from her hahaha#alex.txt
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My family got pizza while I was gone so I came home and got to shower and eat a slice of cold cheese pizza and get high (new weed we got today yippee) and watch the muppet movie I love until I fall asleep or it starts to get plot heavy and my brain gets too awake and I have to turn it off and try to turn my brain off
#if I stay up another three hours it will be 24 hours awake. so. hmm.#if I muppet movie then sequel. that’s a full 24 hours awake. so. yeah. maybe. keeping it an option but I’ll probably fall asleep first bc im#exhausssstttteeeddddd
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Good lord my bestie wants me to get a key to the plant so she can show her dad and bf the plant….. girl I cannot get a key for you to break into your former workplace. They won’t give me a key for normal reasons they’re not gonna give me one now, and certainly not for that reason
#maybe if you would just show up 8-5 on a school day….. can’t help you past that#I’ll have a key in June. Hope that helps#I’m just cranky today I think that’s why this is bugging me so much#didn’t sleep well and im stressed about graduation#and she called me TWICE today and I was on the phone for a fucking hour and a half earlier#and she called AGAIN to ask me to break like 3 different rules for her#no! not okay! no one talk to me!#I want Boytoy I want to skip my party tonight I want to fall asleep curled up in his arms#diary post#ugh. it’s fine probably. I’ll be fine
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Is anyone else sleeping an abnormal amount at night but still getting tired in the day
#my circadian rhythm right now is so unhinged i swear#like i cannot get up before 10am no matter what i do. last night i was even like ‘i’ll go to bed early; then i’ll get my 8 hours and be able#to get up relatively early.’ so i went to bed at 10:30. read for probably 15-20 minutes. was asleep by probably 11:30 at the latest#why did i wake up at 8:35 feeling absolutely dreadful; stumble to the bathroom; piss; go straight back to bed#and fall asleep for two more hours#i was in bed for TWELVE FUCKING HOURS like some kind of victorian woman with tuberculosis. i’m a healthy 27 year old in the year 2023#what the fuck is this about. it was like solidly 11am before i convinced myself to get out of bed#finally managed it; ate brunch & did my wfm tasks. now it’s… what? twenty past four? and i’m fucking drowsy again#when i tell you i’ve done fuck all today. my work is mindless and when i was done with my set tasks i just read a book#maybe i should start going to bed late again. like midnight or 1am. it doesn’t seem to make any difference#like if i’m going to be in bed until 10am regardless of what time of night i got into bed; i’m not getting into bed before 12am#spending ten hours in bed is already ridiculous#i’m just trying to figure out like… am i sinking into a depressive episode? is this a concerning level of fatigue? is it just the winter?#am i deficient in vitamins and or minerals? is my bed just too comfortable?#bro my bed is sooooo comfortable. i have my favourite sheets on it right now (dark purple 100% cotton) and three blankets#my room is also fucking cold because we need to fix the roof and no one is available to do it until like january and i live in a cold wet#place. i really just wake up and i’m like ‘why’. just like overall what is the point#i cannot stress to you either how horrible it is to wake up and it’s 8am and still dark. and like i’m a freelancer. i can work at any time#why would i get up at the arsecrack of dawn if i don’t have to? be serious#i think we’ve solved the mystery. anyway. if you need me i’m going to take some vitamins#personal
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#I really am so fucking pathetic#sitting here crying for over an hour because you didn’t talk to me today#cause that’s really all it boils down to I suppose even though it feels worse to me#and I know tomorrow I’ll go in to see my therapist and not mention any of this happening#I’ll tell him the good things that happened since last session and talk about my girlfriend and shit like that#because as far as he knows I already cut our friendship off but I can’t tell him I didn’t because I don’t want to look weak/foolish#ironic isn’t it that I’m going to therapy to get better with things like this and still don’t feel comfortable talking about these issues#the good news is that I think I wore myself out with all the tears and can probably fall asleep pretty quickly if I try#maybe I should actually end this friendship if this is what it does to me#because I know this isn’t healthy but fuck I just can’t keep losing people no matter how toxic they are#I don’t have enough friends as it is so I don’t want to lose any more#abandonment issues are kicking in heavily right now#I just feel so damn stupid and worthless right now#crying over you like any of this matters at all#I just need to get all my emotions removed so I don’t have to keep going through this kind of dumb shit#mental issues are a bitch#personal
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Wait months to finally get in for a sleep study after waiting months before that to see a sleep specialist in the first place and my ptsd refuses to let me fully fall asleep because I’m not at home. Cool. Great.
#I “slept”for six hours last night but was only asleep for maybe two#and I’m not able to fall asleep for any of the nap tests. because when I get close my brain is like NO! awake#so all this will probably end up being for fucking nothing because I’m too mentally ill to take a fucking nap#and I’ll look like an asshole or whatever for ultimately easing everyones time#vent
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it only took me getting soju drunk alone in my bed to simultaneously become a lovesick mess and bop to my playlist while laughing at memes. the duality of man™️
#i was crying a couple hours ago but now i’m gucci#once my bf falls asleep i’ll probably get sad again but for now i’m havin my own lil party on my side of the bed
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mishaps online- o.piastri (81)
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summary: oscar accidentally posts a nude online the night before your big concert and launch. oops.
pairing: oscar piastri (no.81) x singer! fem! reader
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As you stared at the screen in front of you, your eyes filled with horror. Oscar Jack Piastri, your boyfriend of 3 years, had just posted a nude to his instagram story.
What the fuck.
You immediately sprung into action, calling him since you were in Berlin for a concert. He didn’t pick up.
You called Lando next, knowing they were in the same hotel, especially since it was 3am in the fucking morning. You were already getting bombed by tweets and messages, from friends and fans, all asking if you’d seen it.
“What?” he groaned, groggy from being woken up.
“Lando! Go into Oscar’s room right now please,” you pleaded, happy that you had gotten ahold of someone.
“What?- Why?” he asked, but obliged all the same, getting out of bed. “You know we're supposed to be on vacation right? He can go to sleep.”
“Is he awake?” You asked, ignoring his complaining.
“Osc?” he called as he knocked. “Y/n’s on the phone, she wants to talk to you!”
“Huh?” you heard a yawn from Oscar, then shuffling as he got up. Of course Oscar would send you a nude, then immediately fall asleep. For fuck’s sake. “Baby?” He took the phone out of Lando’s hand and held it to his ear. “You alright?”
“You posted a nude on instagram, please go delete it now,” you blurted out.
He stood still for a moment. “W-what?”
Lando laughed so hard he fell over. “There’s no way!”
“I-I didn’t,” he panicked then lowered his voice. “I sent it to you.”
“Well, you sent it to me and your instagram story,” you explained.
Lando was on the floor, cackling as Oscar almost tripped over him to get to his phone and delete the photo.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he repeated as he went through his phone, taking down the photo.
“You are such a muppet!” Lando cried, breathless from laughing.
“Shut up!” Oscar replied. “This is your fucking fault! You told me to send the picture!”
“To Y/n, not the fucking world Osc!” he chuckled.
To be fair, you understood where Lando was coming from, this was objectively funny. You’d probably be laughing if you weren;t his girlfriend, and if you wouldn’t have to explain this entire situation to your family, including your parents. God, just thinking about it made you sick.
“Is the photo down?” you asked.
“Yeah, it’s down,” he sighed. “I’m so sorry baby I just-”
“Let’s not have this conversation with Lando in the room,” you stopped him and he chuckled.
“Good idea.”
“Zak’s probably going to call you, and I’m going to go call Margaret now. I love you Osc, talk later?”
“I love you too,” he sighed. “Talk later.”
You hung up the phone and let yourself scream into your pillow for a few seconds, then dialled the number of your manager, Margaret.
“Y/n? What’s wrong?”
“Oscar posted a nude on instagram by accident,” you sighed. “He’s sorry.”
She took a deep breath. “You know how I love you, right?”
“Yeah?” You answered hesitantly.
“And how I love you and Oscar and how happy he makes you?”
“Yes?”
“Well right now, I fucking hate him and want him dead. Please give me a few hours to work on this before I can properly face you again, alright?”
You smiled, happy she was taking care of it. “Thank you, and sorry- again.”
She hung up the phone with a groan of frustration.
Next, someone else called. Oscar’s mom.
“Hey Nicole,” you tried to keep calm as you spam-texted Oscar about the situation. No way his mother was calling you about this.
“Hey Y/n,” she smiled. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course,” you nodded.
“Is my son really stupid enough to accidentally post a nude picture of himself to his instagram and leave it up for a whole 5 minutes?”
“Apparently so,” you shrugged, slightly laughing.
Nicole chuckled. “Are you laughing?”
“If I don’t laugh I’ll probably cry, so, yeah.”
She laughed at that. “I’m logging off the internet for a while, tell Osc to text me, yeah?”
“Of course,” you smiled. “Sorry about this.”
“Jesus, it’s not your fault, don’t worry. How are you?”
“Shocked,” you answered truthfully. “And a bit scared of what’s coming next.”
“I just hope you two are ok,” she added. “I need you as my daughter-in-law.”
You smiled a genuine smile. Nicole was always so welcoming and lovely. “We’re all good, don ‘t worry.”
“Good,” she smiled. “I’ll leave you to it, love you, talk soon.”
“Talk soon,” you smiled and she hung up.
Immediately, Lando called you.
“I thought you’d be back in bed,” you teased.
“Trust me, being in the room for Zak and Oscar’s call was worth the missed sleep,” he chuckled and you heard Oscar sigh in the background. “He’s gotten his phone taken off him!” You couldn’t help but chuckle. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, they’ve given me a fucking flip phone instead,” he revealed. “How’d it go with my mum?”
“She’s not ecstatic with your choices, but she’s alright. She mostly wanted to know if we were alright, which we are, in case you were wondering,” you explained. “She wants you to call her.”
“Now?"
“Nah, maybe tomorrow.”
“How are you?” He asked, worried about what you’d say.
“Not an ideal situation, but I’m not mad at you. It was an honest mistake, seriously darling,” you reassured him. “Plus now the internet knows why I constantly have a bruised cervix,” you added, wanting him to loosen up and relax. It was a mistake, an honest mistake.
You heard Lando laughing, and you got a chuckle out of Oscar, which was enough for you. You stayed on call with them for a while, then turned off your phone to get some rest.
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You woke up to about a million messages from hundred of different people. Family and friends teasing on the various groupchats, management and your record label freaking out, and Oscar just being upset.
Osc <3: I feel like such an idiot. I cannot believe I did that, especially the night before the start of your tour, and the night of the launch. I'm so sorry baby.
You: It's alright Oscar, I promise. Margaret is already sorting something out right now. It's ok, I swear.
Osc <3: I still feel awful. I'm so sorry.
You: It's alright. Did you at least get your phone back?
Osc <3: Yeah but no social media on it anymore. I can't even look at your instagram :(
You: I think you'll survive lol :) I love you
Osc <3: I love you too.
You got up and out of bed, tired from the stressful night. The concert tonight, the launch tonight. What were your fans going to say?
comments:
ynsbff: something as big as oscar's d-
-> user12: GIRL
user56: girl is bouncing back fast from the shocker last night was
-> user29: fr i'd still be shook my boyfriend posted THAT
landonorris: legend 💙
pierregasly: 💙💙💙
logansargeant: can't wait 💙💙💙
lewishamilton: burning it down and shining on 💙
-> user58: ????? what does this mean????
-> user80: the return of XNDA????
russellgeorge: 💙
valterribottas: 💙
mclaren: 💙🧡
user23: why is the entire grid in the comments with blue hearts?
-> user82: literally? like what do yall know?
danielriccardo: don't know what's gonna hit 'em 💙💙
mercedes: 💙
user13: why is oscar the only one with pink hearts?
-> landonorris: he's not allowed his phone, it's his publicist 😁
-> user90: DAMN. exposing ur bro like that is crazy
-> landonorris: so is posting a nude 🤷🤷🤷🤷
kmag: 💙
charlesleclerc: 💙💙💙
maxverstappen: can't wait 💙
fernandoalonso: Mi favorita💙
lancestroll: it's going to be a wild one 💙
alexalbon: legendary 💙💙💙
lilymhe: my girl 💙💙💙
-> alexalbon: *cough* i'm ur boyfriend? *cough*
-> y/ny/l/n: bless you? do I need to call u a doctor?
zhouguanyu: 💙💙💙
carlossainz: 💙
nicohulkenburg: 💙
estebanocon: 💙
-> landonorris: plz don't crash into this bro 🙌
-> y/ny/l/n: HAHHAHHAHHA
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You stepped onto the stage and the crowd went crazy. This was it, your first world tour. You were living your dream.
"Hello!" you cheered into your microphone. "I am so happy to be here, thank you all for coming!"
The crowd went wild again.
"Now, before we start, I have a pretty special announcement to make..." you paused for dramatic affect. "My next album 'Curious' drops tonight at midnight! And a very special feature from one of my very good friends, XNDA!"
As the crowd screamed over you and Lewis, who just came on stage, the opening of 'Save your tears' played. You two danced around the stage as you sang, excited with the reception from fans. For the rest of the concert, Lewis stayed on (since he was on another song, but also because he helped produce the album) and you two had so much fun. The concert ended at exactly midnight, and you came off stage on such a high. And there he was. Your Oscar, with a wide smile on his face and his arms open for you to jump into. Which you did, happily.
"Congratulations," he smiled, holding you close.
"Congratulations to you too," you smiled.
He pulled back, a confused look on his face. "What for?"
"Listen to 'Stargirl Interlude'," you shrugged, a smirk on your face. "And tell your mom not to listen to it, yeah?"
He smirked. "Whatever you say baby," and with that, he kissed you. His large hands holding your cheeks as you kissed him back, happy to be in his arms again.
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comments
user15: OMFG 'STARLGIRL INTERLUDE' WHAT IS GOING ON
user12: wishing i was y/n rn....
landonorris: being horny on main? cringe.
-> y/ny/l/n: not winning for 6 years? cringe.
-> maxfewtrell: HA
lewishamilton: we told yall 🤷🤷🤷
pierregasly: kika has not stopped playing this 💙💙💙
-> user51: as she should.
danielriccardo: since when was my back replaced with oscar's y/n???
-> oscarpiastri: sorry mate, just better 🤷🤷🤷
-> y/ny/l/n: at least daniel's better at keeping his pants on online 😁
-> oscarpiastri: ok I deserved that.
-> landonorris: HAHAHHAHAH
alexalbon: RELAX I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT UR SEX LIFE.
-> y/ny/l/n: bitch ik all about urs too. lily tells me everything.
-> alexalbon: brb, having a breakdown.
logansargeant: @ oscarpiastri first i had to see your dick and now this? mate leave us alone.
-> oscarpiastri: SHUT UP I APOLOGISED.
-> logansargeant: NOT ENOUGH.
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comments
lewishamilton: mr. stargirl interlude? mr. billie boss nova? mr. the diner? mr. chihiro? is that you?
-> oscarpiastri: hush
logansargeant: @ oscarpiastri hate club leader
-> landonorris: can I join?
-> y/ny/l/n: lando you've been singing chihiro all day. stfu.
-> landonorris: ...
-> user37: were you silent or silenced?
y/ny/l/n: MY BEAUTIFUL BOYFRIEND
-> y/nsbff: thirsting on the main?
-> y/ny/l/n: what have i become?😥
user89: ok, but who is 'i didn't change my number' about?
-> y/ny/l/n: @ logansargeant actually wrote it about williams 😥😥😥
-> logansargeant: Y/N. TOO FAR.
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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula one imagine#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x you#formula one x reader#formula 1#formula one#mclaren#oscar piastri x fem!reader#f1 fluff
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