#I’ll tell him the good things that happened since last session and talk about my girlfriend and shit like that

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[suugarbabe]

I’m OBSESSED WITH UR FICS OMG- can u do a Mattheo or Theodore FIC x Reader based off of karma?! LOVERRRRR

Hii anon!

Sorry it's been a minute since you asked this :( I'm not super good at lyric fics but I did try my best so if it's shite dont come for me 😬

pairing: Theo Nott x reader

warnings: angst angst angst, no happy ending

You're talking shit for the hell of it

Addicted to betrayal, but you're relevant

You're terrified to look down

'Cause if you dare, you'll see the glare

Of everyone you burned just to get there

It's coming back around

You did your best to walk through the halls with your head high, but you could still hear the whispers of others around you as you passed. In the beginning it absolutely crushed you to know that Theo was saying awful things about you. You never thought the man that kissed you so softly, or wiped away tears from your cheek would be the one to inflict so much pain that the tears were because of him. 

The thing was, you were really happy with Theo in the thick of it, you didn’t understand where things were starting to go wrong when they did. About two months ago, when you were still together, Theo started being…distant. He all of a sudden wanted to study alone, was doing extra time on the quidditch pitch and going to bed early. 

You felt like you couldn’t be too mad at him for these things, end of term exams were coming up before winter holiday, and Theo was really serious about his studies. And to be honest, a lot of your study sessions ended up well…studying human anatomy (which was not a real subject at Hogwarts). 

And Slytherins quidditch team had gotten a new chaser recently, so Theo wanting to spend some extra time doing that didn’t seem off, he was essentially the lead chaser, and with good reason. You figured the combination of extra studying and extra quidditch was why he was so exhausting and going to bed early. 

You were definitely sad he was being distant, but were doing your best to play it off. Apparently you weren’t doing that good of a job as one night Theo had gotten particularly snappy with you. 

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked it without even looking up from his textbook. It was a rare occasion that he was actually studying with you in the common room. You shook your head, “Nothing’s wrong Theo, I’m glad we’re doing this together.” 

He left a puff of air through his nose, “W’dya mean, we always study together.” 

“I-I just meant you’ve been studying alone a lot lately, I’ve just…missed this with you,” you didn’t know why your voice was a little shaky. He wasn’t normally like this with you.

“You know you don’t have to be by my side all the time? I can have space to myself too,” Theo started packing away his things.

“I-I know, Theo, I wasn’t - I didn’t mean…” you trailed off, not sure what to say. 

“You know what, I'm just going to go to bed, guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” You watched him walk away from you, up the stairs, down the dorm halls. You don’t think he even noticed that he showed you zero affection before he left. Didn’t tell you he loves you like he always did, didn’t even kiss you. 

Spider-boy, king of thieves

Weave your little webs of opacity

My pennies made your crown

Trick me once, trick me twice

Don't you know that cash ain't the only price?

It's coming back around

You were starting to get used to Theo not really being there. It seemed like the only time he ever gave you attention was at meal times, and you figured that was only because his friends were your friends and vice versa. You dared not make any forms of PDA unless Theo initiated it. You stopped doing that last week when you felt him tense up grabbing his hand in the hall. 

You weren’t completely oblivious. You knew something was going on, but you just didn’t know what, or why. However two weeks ago you got the confirmation you never wanted. It happened later after dinner. Theo told you he had to go to the quidditch pitch to help train the new chaser again. However you happened to run into said chaser, quite literally, as you were headed back to the common room. 

You had turned the corner quickly, stuck in your head about everything going on in your relationship and not paying attention to where you were going. That’s when you slammed into a strong chest, arms grabbing hold of you so you didn’t fall down. 

When you looked up, you saw the face of the very person your boyfriend was supposed to be with. “W-why aren’t you with Theo?” 

He looked confused by your question so you continued, “Aren’t you supposed to be on the pitch with him? You’ve been training with him for like the last two weeks.” 

His face fell, “Sweetheart…we haven’t done any training together since I joined the team.” Your chest was tight, like someone had hold of your heart and was squeezing the blood from it. 

“I-erm, I have to go,”. You pushed away from him, walking quickly back to the dorms. He called after you but you didn’t hear him. It was like the blood squeezed from your heart was rushing to your brain making you deaf. 

You found yourself walking to Theo’s dorm instead of yours, wanting to confront him and not delay the inevitable any longer. 

But that’s when you caught him. Caught him right in the act. As soon as you opened the door you saw him, naked and tangled with someone else. His eyes locked with yours, and there was no remorse. 

You closed the door behind you, he didn’t even follow you. You saw the girl he was with go towards the girls dorm. She avoided your gaze. At least she felt guilty.

You stayed in the common room, hoping maybe Theo would try and find you. Try and give you an explanation, but he never came. 

'Cause karma is my boyfriend (karma is my boyfriend)

Karma is a god

Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend (weekend)

Karma's a relaxing thought

Aren't you envious that for you it's not?

Sweet like honey, karma is a cat

Purring in my lap 'cause it loves me

Flexing like a goddamn acrobat

Me and karma vibe like that

It was Enzo who found you that night. Enzo who asked you why you were crying and what was wrong. Who swore to you he didn’t know what Theo was up to and offered to hex him if it would make you feel better. 

You found yourself spending more time with him. It got your mind off Theo and he was treating you so kindly. 

Surprisingly Theo seemed bothered by your new interactions. But you didn’t care, he lost that right when he did what he did. 

When he started rumors about you being the one who cheated with Enzo instead of the truth, you were hurt. But Enzo was there for you, wiping your tears and letting you cry on his shoulder. 

He told you that it didn’t matter to him and he would stick by your side the whole way. So today, when whispers and conversations were still happening around you, you held your head high. 

You walked by Theo in the corridor, his eyes trained on you the whole way as you walked up to Enzo. He greeted you with a hug and a kiss to the top of your head. Your relationship was platonic, but you could see how to the outside person it may seem like more. 

You didn’t notice Theo come up to the two of you, “Taking my sloppy seconds, Lorenzo?”

You stiffened at his words, but Enzo was quick to defend you, “Seems like you’re the one who got sloppy Theodore.” 

You chanced a look at Theo, his jaw was clenched. Enzo didn’t stop, “Shame you were such an ignorant bastard. You never deserved her in the first place.”

Enzo put a protective arm around you, pulling you into his side. Theo opened his mouth to reply, but Enzo pulled you away, headed toward your next class together.  

Theo was left standing there, steaming. Karma was a bitch.

[f1goat]

into it x lando norris + part nine

In which you really, really dislike your brothers new found best friend - Lando Norris - but you keep finding your way back to him

masterlist - playlist

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven part eight

You haven’t spoken with Lando since he kissed you and then left you in the hotel hallway. You haven’t even seen him since then. Normally the boy is over at yours and Charles apartment all the time. He hasn’t been around once. Charles is away more, you guess that he and Lando are spending their time together at another place lately. You still need to talk to Charles about everything that happened. You want his advise. Mainly since it seems like Lando is ignoring you lately. You have texted Lando a couple times after that day, but he didn’t respond to any of them. You mainly just wanted to talk with him, but his non exiting reactions are showing you that he isn’t interested in that. Why would he kiss with you to ignore you afterwards? It confuses you, but it annoys you even more.

Since Lando kissed you, you have been a lot more certain about your feelings for him. That kiss made everything clear for you. You don’t dislike Lando. You sometimes do wish that you dislike him, it would have made many things way easier. But that’s not the case. You like him. Now that the realization has hit you, you also realize that it has been a long time. These feelings aren’t new. Since you realize them, you also see why you thought you didn’t like Lando. It was probably some sort of self defense. Why would you allow yourself to like a boy who only fucks around? 

You walk downstairs, hopefully Charles will be around today and you can finally talk to him about everything that has happened. You really need some advice. Normally you wouldn’t go to Charles for good advice, but since he knows Lando this well you don’t see any other option. 

There’s still a lot vague for you and Charles needs to help you with that. The main thing is Lando his confusing behavior from the last days. 

“Charles?” You ask while you walk into the living room. You look around and notice that he isn’t around. There’s nobody to answer your questions. Once again. Last days have gone exactly like this. You let out a sigh and text your brother, asking him where he is and when he will be home. In a few seconds you know that he is with Lando and that he will be home after dinner. So basically, you still have no idea when he will be home. 

Annoyed you throw your phone away. Only to pick it up seconds later. You send another text to Charles. 

Y/N: I really do need to talk to you

Charles: about what?

Y/N: Lando

Y/N: Can you be home on time tonight? 

Charles: Okay, I’ll try to be home around 8

Y/N: Thanks

You decide to go out the house. You need some fresh air and distraction. While walking around you grab your purse and jacket. It doesn’t take you long to decide to go for a small shopping session. Quickly you head out. 

+++

Charles lets out a sigh. He should have noticed that you wanted to talk to him. He should have noticed that something happened between you and Lando, that caused Lando to change their regular scheme. Normally Lando is over at his apartment all the time, now they have been spending their time at Lando his apartment or in the center of Monaco. He feels stupid for not asking about it earlier. 

“So, what happened between you and Y/N?” Charles asks.

Lando is surprised by the sudden question. How is he suppose to answer this? What does Charles already know? 

“Uh, what did Y/N say?” 

“Nothing. I haven’t seen her a lot lately, but now she wants to talk with me about you, so I figured something happened,” Charles explains. “So just tell me how you fucked it up, how you still want to date my sister and how we can fix it.” 

Lando lets the words repeat themself in his mind. Does Charles know about his feelings? Does Charles accept them? It seems like it. Why would he otherwise say they would fix it? 

“You know?” Lando asks even surprised. 

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Charles laughs, “It’s not hard to miss Lando. You have been crushing on my sister since the beginning.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything about it?” Lando asks confused. 

“Why didn’t you? You kept hooking up with other girls and after that you lied about hooking up with others,” Charles mutters a bit frustrated, “but I didn’t intervene, I thought you knew what you were doing. Although the last days have proven me wrong.”

“Fuck. Let me explain,” Lando says. 

Charles gives him a simple nod, waiting for him to explain. 

“She doesn’t like me,” Lando starts, “so I thought it would be better to ignore my feelings. But I fucked that up.. I might have kissed her after the morning after we went out.”

“So?” Charles asks. He doesn’t really get it. You like Lando as well, right? So why is it a bad thing that the two of you kissed. 

“So after that I said sorry and left,” Lando explains, “and I have been ignoring her since. I really need to forget about her and if I’m around her all the time then I can’t.”

“Why do you need to forget her?” Charles asks confused.

“Because she doesn’t like me,” Lando sighs. 

“Did she slap you after you kissed her? Did she seem angry?” Charles asks.

“Uh, no,” Lando answers.

“Then you’re an idiot. If she didn’t like it that you were kissing her, she would have let you known.” 

“But still, she doesn’t like me,” Lando states.

Charles lets out a deep sigh. Is his friend really this stupid? Does he need to spell it out for him? Lando is staring down at the floor in the mean time. He feels ashamed for his behavior from the last days.

“Look Lando,” Charles starts a bit doubtful, “I will be honest with you and tell you that I don’t know if she likes you, she hasn’t told me. But I do think that she likes you.” Charles takes a breath before continuing. “When I told her to stop wearing that Alpine shirt, she didn’t listen. You’ve spoken to her about it for like ten minutes and she came back in a Quadrant shirt. It’s not like it’s better to wear anyone else’s merch, but she did chose for you at that moment. And don’t forget that she’s the one that found you after the race, I couldn’t find you and it took her only fifteen minutes or so,” Charles explains, “and I can go on about this. I can tell you about her jealousy of Maddie, because she didn’t catch your lies. Or about how fast she noticed that you weren’t laying on the couch with her anymore. But you need to fix this Lando.” 

“I do,” Lando sighs, “but I don’t know how. I’ve been a dick.”

“Yeah, that’s nothing new for her. Just come clean, tell her everything,” Charles suggests. 

“I think she’s too mad at me now,” Lando tells Charles, “I shouldn’t have ignored her. Fuck.” 

“We’ll find a way to fix it,” Charles tries to comfort Lando. When he looks at his friend, it isn’t hard to notice the desperate look he has.

“I don’t think so.”

+++

“So you like him?” Charles asks you. 

The past twenty minutes you have been explaining to Charles what has happened with Lando lately. You have told him everything. Starting from that time you apologized and the spent the same night in Lando his bed because you forgot your key and ending with the kiss you and Lando shared, but how he ignored you since. Charles didn’t say much between your story. Now that you think of it, this is probably the first question he asks since you have been explaining. 

“Yeah,” you tell Charles, it almost pains you to come clean about it. You feel ashamed for it. Lando was probably just playing with you, like he does with any other girl, and you fell for it. “I know it’s stupid,” you continue to tell Charles, “but I actually thought I meant something for him, you know? But I know now that it’s nothing like that. I will just forget about it..”

Charles lets out a big sigh. He knew Lando would be dumb, but he didn’t know you would be on the exact same annoying level. The two of you really deserve each other he thinks tiredly. 

“Do you think Lando kissed you because he doesn’t like you or?” Charles asks you. 

“Maybe he only did it to get back at Pierre,” you suggest, “I know there’s something between them, but I have no idea what.” 

Before Charles can talk the idea out of your head, you’re already talking further. 

“Or maybe he just did it to prove to himself he can have anyone,” you suggest, “That’s pretty fuckboyish. He’s a player after all.” 

“Maybe he just wanted to get back at me,” you go on with suggesting, “It’s not like I have been very nice towards him. Maybe he thought I deserved this?” 

“Maybe-“ you want to start another sentence, but Charles is quick to interrupt you. “Maybe he likes you as well, but is just as stupid as you about confessing it to each other,” Charles says. 

“No,” you tell Charles, “don’t give me any hope. I’ll just forget that this has ever happened.” 

You decide to walk away from Charles, not in the mood to continue the conversation. You know that Charles means it in a good way, but you can’t afford it to give yourself hope when you need to forget about Lando. Within a minute you’re standing in your room. 

In the mean time is Charles standing hopelessly in the living room. He sighs for the millionth time today. How is he suppose to fix this? 

+++

That night you can’t fall asleep. You’ve blocked Lando his number. You don’t want to bring yourself to the temptation to text him again. You need to forget about him. A notification from Instagram pops up. Apparently Pierre left a comment on your new Instagram post. You head over to the app. Pierre has commented a simple pink heart. A mean plan forms itself in your head. You don’t think twice, you comment a blue heart to Pierre his comment. 

What you don’t know, is that somewhere else in Monaco, Lando is laying in the almost same position as you. He tried calling multiple times tonight. He has send you multiple messages. But it’s pretty clear what has happened. You have blocked him. He realizes it, but his fingers can’t stop typing messages. His mind won’t shut up before he has send all the messages.

Lando: we need to talk

Lando: you’ve blocked me

Lando: fuck y/n

Lando: I like you

Lando: I thought you were mad at me for kissing you

Lando stops messaging you for a bit to send Charles a text. He doesn’t need to ask how it went when Charles talked to you. The fact that he is block, tells him enough. He quickly sends Charles a text to ask if he can asks you to unblock him. 

You’re staring at your phone screen. Charles just texted you that Lando send him multiple text about you unblocking him. Should you unblock Lando? You can’t imagine that’s a smart move to make. But, why is he asking you to do so? Your finger hoovers above the button on your screen. Should you? Annoyed you throw your phone away, letting it land somewhere on your bed. What a mess have you gotten yourself into. 

Lando: please talk to me

Lando: y/n? 

Lando throws his phone off him. This has no use. He’s blocked and it will probably stay like that for a while. He sighs. This is hopeless. He needs to get your attention someway. He picks up his phone again. Quickly heading over to the Instagram app. 

The first thing he sees on his homepage is a new picture of you. It seems like it’s from this afternoon. You’re holding a shopping bag and are standing in front of the store. Lando can’t look away from the picture. You’re face is a bit hidden behind some loose strands of your hair. He wishes he could see it. He scrolls a bit more and reads some of the reactions. It doesn’t take him long to spot a certain one. He lets out an annoyed sigh when he sees the reaction of Pierre. Then he sees your reaction on it. What is this? 

“Fuck!” He says loudly. 

He likes your photo. He wants to show you that he has seen the interaction between you and Pierre. He even reacts an orange heart to the thread of reactions. He quickly sends Charles a text, asking him to join his reaction. Maybe that way no one will think that you’re dating Pierre. He would hate it if that’s what people are thinking. He will hate it even more if that’s true.

What if you have used him all this time? What if this is just another sick joke from Pierre? Is this Pierre showing him that he can still have anyone he wants? 

You have picked up your phone again. You have seen Lando his reaction on your post. It causes you to head over to his contact once again. This time you actually press unblock. 

Lando: you’re the worst if you’re actually dating Pierre now

Of course, the first message you get is Lando talking about Pierre. 

Lando: was everything some kind of sick joke?

Lando: fuck unblock me we need to talk

Lando: we really need to talk

Y/N: I guess we do.

Lando almost drops his phone. Since when did you unblock him? 

Lando: When? 

Y/N: Idk, when are you free?

Lando: now

Lando: I can pick you up?

Y/N: I’m ready in 15 minutes

Lando: omw

Lando: i can’t wait to see you

You let out a small scoff when you read Lando his latest message. Can’t wait to see you? If that was true he should have come earlier. Why would he ignore you then? You get out of your bed, searching around for some clothes to wear. You also pick up the Quadrant shirt that Lando lend you before, you fold it up to give it back. 

“Charles, I’m leaving!” 

Charles is quick to walk over to your room. He asks you for an explanation. You explain. Then you hear the door bell. Fuck, you’re not ready yet. You quickly put on a crop top and a legging. This should do. You grab your phone and head to the door. 

When you open the door, it isn’t the one who you were expecting. 

“Hey babygirl,” Pierre greets you. 

You turn around, searching for your brother. Maybe he invited him? You yell for Charles. Charles is quick to show up next to you. But he also didn’t invite Pierre. 

“You’re kidding me,” Lando scoffs. You turn around back towards the door. Fuck, you hoped that Lando would miss this. “Is this some sort of sick joke?” Lando asks, “What is he doing here Y/N?”

“I’m picking her up for our date night,” Pierre states boldly. 

“Oh fuck off,” you sigh, “Lan I don’t know why he’s here. I didn’t invite him and neither did Charles. Can we go now?” 

“Go where?” Pierre asks. 

You don’t know what have gotten into you when you answer Pierre. “Lando is here to pick me up for our date night. We’re going to his apartment, see some movies and all that,” you tell Pierre. 

Lando doesn’t know what to think anymore. What is happening? Why doesn’t he understand any of it? He feels how you grab his hand en pull him with you towards his car. Lando is quick to follow you, but he still feels vague. He doesn’t know what’s happening and it is confusing him. When he’s sitting behind the steering wheel of his McLaren, he looks at you. He notices the sleepless and sad look you’re carrying. 

“If you don’t want to talk it’s fine,” Lando tells you, “You can go back to get some sleep or for your date night with Pierre? We can always talk later.” 

“You don’t get it,” you tell Lando, “There’s nothing between me and Pierre. I don’t know why he’s standing there. I only opened the door because I thought it was you. I don’t want anything to do with Pierre. Now drive. We’re going to talk.”

“There is nothing between you and Pierre?” Lando asks. He needs to hear it again. And probably ten times more after everything he thought earlier today. But in the mean time, he does start the car. 

“Lan,” you continue, “I promised you remember? I haven’t seen him since that night. I don’t know what he was doing at the door. That’s why I called Charles. I’m not dating Pierre. I’m not seeing him and I don’t want to.”

“Thank god for that,” Lando says relieved.

part ten

[flyingwargle]

tw: day after a panic attack, discussions of anxiety

suna awakens to the sound of his front door opening.

through the haze of his sleep-leaden mind, he registers how heavy his body is, swollen eyes struggling to blink through the darkness. he hears keys jangle, footsteps reverberating throughout the apartment until knocks sound on his bedroom door, along with a soft call. “rin?”

he tries to respond, but his throat is dry, so all that comes out is a faint cough. the door opens, a figure washed in shadows stepping inside, approaching to kneel beside his bed. suna rolls his head to face them, can see the concern in their gaze, the deep frown softening into a tiny smile. “hi, love,” osamu whispers. “i heard from komori that you were havin’ a rough time. didja eat?”

suna shakes his head. osamu reaches forward to brush hair out of his eyes, gentle touches that send shivers down his spine. “all right. lemme make ya some food. keep restin’, ya hear?” he doesn’t have the energy to speak, simply closes his eyes, feels osamu kiss his forehead before slipping out. the kitchen fan turns on a moment later.

after what happened yesterday, he isn’t in any condition to practice, so he stays in bed, chasing after the last tendrils of sleep, opening his eyes when he fails. a bone-deep exhaustion makes it difficult for him to sit up, let alone reach for his phone, somewhere on the nightstand, so he resigns himself with a sigh. it isn’t long before knocks echo on his door again, and osamu enters with a bowl balanced on a tray, along with a cup of water. “i made ya some rice porridge. lemme help ya sit up.”

slowly, he moves upright, leaning heavily against his pillows. osamu feeds him a spoonful of porridge at a time, quiet except for the steady rainfall that taps a rhythm on the window. “d’ya wanna talk ‘bout it?”

“not really.”

“but will ya, with someone?”

his nostrils flare. it’s good timing that his monthly therapy session is around the corner. “yeah.”

osamu feeds him the last spoonful of porridge, then moves the bowl aside. he kneels beside him again, hand in his, kisses his palm with reverence saved for a god. “i’m sorry that i wasn’t here fer ya when ya needed me.”

“you have a restaurant to run. it’s my fault. i should’ve been more careful.” he’s always been mindful of his own anxiety, has followed every plan and strategy that he and his therapist came up with to mitigate panic attacks, to the point that he hadn’t had an attack since joining ejp. but things always fall through the cracks, often in unpredictable ways, and he’s the only one left to suffer.

“it’s never yer fault, rin. don’t say that.” osamu lifts his head at him, expression fierce. “i shoulda recognized the signs earlier, shoulda paid more attention, and i’m sorry fer that. i know this won’t make up fer it, but lemme take care of ya today.”

“are you sure?” suna whispers. “what about your restaurant?”

“they can survive without me fer a day or two, but i can’t survive without ya.” osamu looks at him more critically now, frown deepening. “yer still in your practice clothes.”

“oh. yeah.” seeing that he collapsed in bed immediately after coming home last night, changing or showering were the last things on his mind.

“d’ya wanna bath? i’ll help ya wash yer hair. when was the last time ya washed it?”

“don’t ask.”

osamu helps him out of bed. with slow steps, they enter the bathroom, suna sitting on the toilet while osamu fusses with the water temperature, waiting until it’s warm enough. then, he tells him to undress and get in the tub, pulling hair products from the cabinet.

a hot bath and freshly washed hair later, they settle on the couch, weighted blanket thrown over suna’s shoulders, face pressed against osamu’s chest. in high school, when his anxiety was undiagnosed, osamu was the only one who knew how to help him through it, the others lingering on the sidelines. it worsened in his third year, pressured by family to go to university and get a job, pressured to perform well and gain attention from scouts, pressured to maintain his grades to keep his options open. through it all, osamu stayed, hand stroking his back, fingers running through his hair, whispering in his ear that everything will be okay.

suna doesn’t deserve him, this man who drove three hours at the crack of dawn to arrive at his doorstep to make him food and wash his hair. what has he given him in return? a burden that he’ll carry for the rest of his life, no matter how hard he tries to mitigate it.

“rin? what’s wrong?” osamu’s panicked voice snaps him from his thoughts. “yer cryin’.” oh, he is, swollen eyes leaking with tears again. suna makes a frustrated noise at the back of his throat. he cried enough last night. why won’t the tears stop?

“love, talk ta me. what’s wrong?”

suna hides his face from him. “i made you drive all the way here to deal with me. i’m sorry.”

“rin, ya didn’t ‘make me.’ i chose ta do this. an’ i ain’t ‘dealin’ with ya’ either. ya just had a panic attack in the last twenty-four hours. d’ya think i’d let ya handle the fallout alone? i’d never forgive myself.” osamu wraps his arms around him, pulls him closer to him. “if it weren’t for komori, ya would be by yerself, an’ i wouldn’t have known. that scares me, that ya’d be sufferin’, an’ i’d be none the wiser.”

“this isn’t–“

“no, don’t say that. i chose this. you’ll never let me go.” he lowers his head against his, voice soft in his ear. “so don’t be scared ta tell me when somethin’ is wrong, okay?”

suna crumbles, sobbing into his shirt, eyes and nose streaming. osamu holds him tight, strokes his back, murmurs that everything will be okay. he was there for him in high school and after, even when distance keeps them apart. he’ll always be here, and suna will never thank him enough.

[pamsimmerstories]

they had A LOT to talk

previous || next

[avery]: just ask me anything.

[freya]: why did you have to leave...when your dad died

[avery]: i couldn’t breathe, freya. i felt like it was my fault, that night, our first time, just happened because i was mad at him. our last conversation, it was me and my dad arguing. i felt like i ruined everything and i would ruin you at some point.

[freya]: oh, avery...

[avery]: i know... i’ve been working on it on my therapy sessions. i’m far from being the man you deserve, but i’m working on it, freya.

[freya]: you’re perfect for me, avery. since we started dating. and you don’t ruin things... it’s just... life. but i’m glad you’re looking for professional help. because it wasn’t your fault your dad died.

[avery]: i’m working on it, sometimes i know it wasn’t, but sometimes i keep playing our last conversation in my mind and i hate how  he died right after i told him he was just like his mother. i knew he hated that and i said it anyway

[avery]: i just wanted to take all back and tell him how much i loved him. but i was so mad because he kept pushing me to go to college.

[freya]: and are you happy? finishing your degree?

[avery]: i don’t know for sure... i feel like i can do it, for him. so i’m okay with my choice.

[freya]: as long as you’re happy and in peace with your choice...

[avery]: what about you? an actress now, huh? *smirks*

[freya]: *rolls eyes* that’s definitely not for me. but there’s another season. and i signed the contract already. i don’t need to break it. i’ll have to be back in del sol valley in a few weeks.

[avery]: i hate that you’re going away, freya.

[freya]: i hate that, too. but i won’t let go of you while i’m here.

[avery]: *grins* good!

[avery]: and what else do you want to know, donkey?

[freya]: uh... *bites lip* what about you and valentina?

[avery]: hm, i should’ve seen this coming *chuckles*

[freya]: you don’t need to talk right now...

[avery]: that’s okay. *deep sigh* okay... well, it was supposed to be a one time thing and she got pregnant. i care about her, because we sort of grew up together. i didn’t want to be a dad, but she wanted to be a mother, so i stepped up. we were never supposed to be a couple. collin told me that you asked him if we were together *smirks* were you jealous, donkey?

[avery]: hm, i should’ve seen this coming *chuckles*

[freya]: you don’t need to talk right now...

[avery]: that’s okay. *deep sigh* okay... well, it was supposed to be a one time thing and she got pregnant. i care about her, because we sort of grew up together. i didn’t want to be a dad, but she wanted to be a mother, so i stepped up. we were never supposed to be a couple. collin told me that you asked him if we were together *smirks* were you jealous, donkey?

[freya]: ugh! collin is such a snitch!

[avery]: *laughs* he tried so hard to bring us closer together. you have no idea how happy he is right now. i’m so happy that you here.

[freya]: i’m sorry about jasper...

[avery]: why are you apologizing? i broke up with you and i told you to be happy and move on. and you did. there’s nothing wrong with that, frey.

[freya]: i feel terrible about what i did to him... but i really tried to like him. but i never got over you

[avery]: part of me feels sorry for him, but another part of me, a huge part of me, loves that you never got over me *grins*

[freya]: avery! and now you’re living in the same building as him. what if he sees us?

[avery]: i won’t ever do anything on purpose to rub our relationship on his face. but i won’t hide it if we meet him in the hallways.

[freya]: i guess that’s fair. and he knows i love you. that’s why we broke up that night after the bluffs. he thought i was cheating on him, he was gonna propose, i feel like just because he saw you as threat...

[avery]: i guess i have to step up my game now.

[freya]: don’t be silly! i started it... i thought you were having a kid, and sort of asked him to have a baby, too

[avery]: were you trying to have a baby with jasper villareal?

[freya]: hey! you got valentina villareal pregnant!

[avery]: what a pair we are, huh?!

[freya]: i know, right?! god! i was so out of my mind thinking about having a baby so soon.

[avery]: do you still want to have a baby?

[freya]: what are you implying?

[avery]: i didn’t want to have a baby before, but now i do.

[freya]: right now?

[avery]: *laughs* no, geez! i want to enjoy you for a while, for the time we lost... just you, me and finn :)

[freya]: i like that idea

[enchxanting]

our love is god [ethan landry] pt. 7

read part 6 here || all parts

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

warnings: strong language, reckless driving, family angst

a/n: heyyyy. sorry this took so long i wrote and unwrote it like four times. the action is going to pick up soon, but for now, have some family angst and crazy ethan. dm me to be added to the taglist

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“Are you going to Tara’s funeral tomorrow?” Ethan asks me.

It’s been six days since her death. Since my freak-out in the locker room, I’ve been ghosting my friends and skipping in-school therapy sessions. Instead, Ethan and I have taken to spending our afternoons at his house, mostly watching shitty TV and making out, to be completely honest.

I untangle myself from under his arm, leaning back into the couch. “Yeah. My parents are coming, too. Why?”

“I don’t know. I thought we could skip together, or something.”

“Are you kidding?.”

“No, I’m dead serious. Should we even be there?”

My throat feels dry. “She was my best friend, Ethan. It doesn’t matter what happened in the end.”

He sighs. “It’s a great example of dramatic irony, I’ll give you that, but doesn’t it feel a little fucked up? We could stay here, rent a movie or something.”

He grins reassuringly as he says this, and it makes me nauseous. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Besides, everyone’s expecting me to be there.”

Ethan seems upset by my rejection, but before he can say anything else we’re interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. I turn to see a gray-haired man coming through the entryway.

I assume this is Ethan’s dad (they have the same dark eyes), but he walks past the couch without an introduction.

Ethan sighs. “Hey, son. Didn’t know you were home yet”

“Hey, Dad. Didn’t hear you come in,” he replies, settling into the nearby armchair. 

Ethan clears his throat. “So, how was work, then?”

“It was miserable,” Detective Bailey sighs. “Some psycho put a bomb threat on the welcome center today. Said they put a bomb in the boiler room that was gonna set off thermals on the upper floors. It was all talk, of course– these idiots never have the guts to follow through. But it was a pain in my ass, of course.”

Something about the way he talks about these bombs unnerves me. Still, I smile politely, not wanting to make a bad impression.

“Gee, Dad,” he continues, “I nearly forgot to introduce you to my girlfriend.” Ethan goes red, but I can’t pretend like I don’t like that label. 

“Hi, Detective Bailey,” I say. “I’m Y/N, I’m Ethan’s classmate.”

“Nice to meet you,” he says, eyeing me up and down. He’s very methodical in the way he looks me over, clearly experienced from years in the force.

We all sit in awkward silence for a minute, until Ethan turns back to me. “Hey, what if you stay for dinner?”

As much as I want to say yes, the thought of spending any more time around Detective Bailey dissuades me from accepting his offer. “Sorry, I can’t. I have to get ready for tomorrow, and my mom’s making my favorite for dinner.” Detective Bailey scoffs at this. “How nice. The last time I saw your mom, Ethan, she was waving out of the back of a car as she drove off into the sunset. Where was that? Nevada? Sacramento?”

Ethan tenses. “I’m going to drive her home, Dad.”

“Be my guest,” he mumbles, and Ethan all but pushes me through the doorway and into his car.

“Right,” I say when we’re on the road. “I’m, uh, sorry about your dad.”

“Don’t be,” Ethan says through gritted teeth. “He’s been all sorts of weird since we lost our brother.”

“Jesus, Ethan. You didn’t tell me about that.”

“Well, if we’re airing our family business, I might as well. That’s why my mom left, too. Couldn’t deal with the memory of him.”

“I’m sorry.”

Ethan laughs without humor. “Well, it’s not like you were the one who killed him, huh?”

This strikes me as a strange thing to say, but I’m probably not in a position to judge. Instead, I reach over and place a hand on his thigh.

“Thank you, then. For being here for me right now. I would be locked up without you.”

He softens again, back to the Ethan I’m familiar with. “Always.”

I see him looking at me in his peripheral vision, so I give him a soft smile. He stares at me for a moment, and maybe everything is going to be alright.

Then he floors the gas, and we’re barrelling down the street.

“Ethan, what the fuck?” I say. “Slow down!”

But he doesn’t slow down. He keeps going. We whiz down the center of town, where, luckily, very few people are out.

I see my street fly by, and I look at him in mixed confusion and desperation. His eyes are wild in a way I haven’t seen before.

I try one more time. “For the love of God, Ethan, stop the fucking car!”

Surprisingly, he listens. We come to a sudden stop, and I’m thrown forward in my seat. He’s breathing heavily, chest heaving.

“What the fuck was that?” I scream.

He doesn’t reply. Instead, he grabs my face and kisses me, hard. I’m so surprised that I don’t push him off. 

Ethan pulls back. “Without me, you’d be in prison, Y/N. Do you know that?”

My hands are shaking. I don’t know what to say— I just nod.

He smiles, satisfied, and rests his hand on my thigh. “Good. Let’s go home.”

taglist: @miawastakens

[stormyoceans]

i’m rewatching and i still don’t know how this show exists or what kind of drugs were the writers on, but i’m so glad they were lmao and they have enough for our skyy 2 episodes. Any thoughts about 1) empty cinema scene, 2) talay’s foggy glasses kiss, 3) grafitti library scene, ‘Do you want me to live with you or do you want something 18+’ unhinged daydream, 4) wedding scene, 5) puen reading shojo manga, 6) why they should stop eating so much junk food, 7) snow scene? Sorry this got too long. I just love your thoughts about them so much!

Have an awesome day!

(one day i’ll come off anon, im just too shy and awkward lmao)

[peaks timidly from my inbox] yes hello i come asking for forgiveness ;;;;;; i really am so terribly sorry for how late this answer is, anon, i've been so all-over the place in the few past weeks and wrote this here and there whenever i needed to feel better, which probably means it's even more scattered and less coherent than usual ;;;;; not sure if you're still around or even just still interested in this, but i wanted to reply to you anyway, so here we go!!!

1) empty cinema scene: ONE OF THE MOST UNDERRATED SCENES IN THE ENTIRE SHOW IM SO HAPPY YOU MENTIONED IT BECAUSE WE DON’T TALK NEARLY ENOUGH ABOUT IT!!!!! literally the proof that no one can cheer talay up and get him out of his own head like puen does!!!! talay's ridiculously fond smile as puen pretends the cinema is full of people, the way he actually plays along with it after the initial 'what the hell are you doing' reaction.... we always make fun of puen for being down bad BUT GOD TALAY IS SO SMITTEN TOO he sees puen tearing up while watching the movie (THEIR movie) and his first instinct is to gently wipe away those tears LIKE IF THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU WANT TO BITE YOUR OWN ARM OFF AND FEED IT TO THE WOLVES THEN I ENVY YOU TBH. and the most insane thing is that at the time he didn’t even know he was in love with puen, he hadn’t realized it yet, while puen was already fully aware of his own feelings for talay. puen who, during the voice over, says "it's you. if it wasn't for you, this movie wouldn't have happened. without you, my screenplay wouldn't be this good", which parallels what he tells talay at the end of episode 4, "if it's not you, i wouldn't be able to work this well". and looking back at it, i really feel like it shouldn't have surprised me so much to learn that puen realized he was in love with talay at the glass house, because he was basically shouting it from the rooftops. "which scene is your favorite?" talay asks him. "the last scene where both of them meet again in the coffee shop," puen answers, because "i went there with you". it's you. it can't be anyone but you. i love you, i love you, i love you. IM TRULY NEVER GONNA GET TIRED OF SAYING HOW THEY INVENTED PARALLELISM ROMANTICISM SOULMATISM ALSO NOT THEM BEING SO ENTHRALLED BY EACH OTHER THEY DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THAT UP AND AOU WERE THERE TOO PEOPLE IN LOVE ARE THE WORST

2) talay’s foggy glasses kiss: NO THOUGHTS HEAD EMPTY AND EVEN IF I HAD ANY I WOULD KEEP THEM BETWEEN ME AND GOD BECAUSE THEY SURE AS HELL WOULDN'T BE FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION. like i make fun of puen for being horny all the time but also i get it. if talay confessed to have been in love with me since the very first time we met by using a very similar line i liked from a movie we watched together years ago all while looking so warm and cuddly in an oversized sweater, i would feel compelled to kiss him senseless too. also not to be petty, but as much as people like to say jimmysea can't kiss, this is the only time i can fully believe a make out session left a character breathless, with weak knees, and a little turned on like THE FOGGY GLASSES, TALAY'S LIPS ALL RED FROM KISSING, HIS HAIR MESSED UP FROM PUEN'S HANDS RUNNING THROUGH IT, HIS EYES COMPLETELY GLAZED OVER...... REARRANGED MY GUTS MY SOUL MY ENTIRE LIFE AND EVERYTHING I EVER THOUGHT I KNEW THE SPECTRE OF THE PERSON I WAS WHEN I FIRST SAW THIS KISS HAUNTS MY EVERY WAKING MOMENT THEY REALLY DID THE MOST

3.a) grafitti library scene: PAIN SUFFERING TORMENT AGONY ANGUISH BUT ALSO THE TENSION THE UNDERCURRENT THE WHOLE ENTIRE EVERYTHING OF IT ALL I HATE TO SEE THEM FIGHT BUT GOD I LOVE THIS SCENE I REALLY DO. i just think it's such an important moment, character-wise, and it's also the first big turning point in their relationship, just like the separation in episode 6 is, because the conflict is actually functional to their growth, especially puen's. puen is already so deeply in love here, but it's so painfully obvious that he has no idea how to go about it and that he is still struggling to find himself, so he defaults to what he knows, to being puen the actor, and that's what he ends up putting on, an act, a big over the top romantic one that could have come out from a movie, but even if the feelings behind it are genuine, the gesture itself isn't, and talay KNOWS, because puen is the kind of person that quietly waits outside his university all day just to spend a little more time with him, not the one that makes a spectacle out of it. this is what makes talay finally snap, because while we see him being very confused about his feelings throughout the episode, and very doubtful about puen's too, you can see that part of him did believe in puen's sincerity ("lately, someone has done something nice to me," talay says to dol a little later in the episode, "so nice that i thought he was serious"), which is why it hurts so much to see talay's crestfallen expression when he asks puen "so all you've done is for your screenwriting?" (and since we're talking about it SEA'S ACTING HERE IS SO GOOD AND YET SO UNDERRATED IM EATING MY FIST) and puen doesn't realize how upset talay really is until it's too late, until he tries to explain and maybe even confess something ("im not messing with you. i--") but talay doesn't want to listen anymore. however this rejection is essential to make puen understand that he has to stop hiding under puen the actor and start being puen the person if he wants to be with talay. this is a long process that will only end in episode 10, when he'll finally be ready to tell talay his name, but this was the first step towards it: as misguided as the kiss in the glass house is, it's also the moment where puen stops playing a role and starts following his feelings. i honestly don't think it's a coincidence that in this episode the password used for the association is "you're not a movie. you are real."

3.b) ‘Do you want me to live with you or do you want something 18+’ unhinged daydream: PEAK DERANGED PUEN MOMENT HE REALLY SAID LET ME ADMIT OUT LOUD ALL THE ROMANTIC DOMESTIC HALF HORNY FANTASIES I'VE EVER HAD ABOUT YOU. IM PRETTY SURE THAT IF TALAY DIDN'T STOP HIM HE REALLY WOULD HAVE GONE INTO FULL 18+ NSFW XXX TERRITORY THERE IS JUST NOT A SINGLE OUNCE OF SHAME IN THIS BOY'S BODY AND YET TALAY STILL THINKS HE’S DOING IT FOR THE BIT. INSANITY LUNACY MADNESS AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY HAVE I GONE CRAZY. on a more serious note, i already said it before, but i absolutely love how the talay in puen's daydreams is just like the real talay, so much so that we could hardly tell that what we were seeing wasn't actually what was happening, because it shows that puen loves him as he is, warts and all, and that in puen's head their relationship turning into a romantic one wouldn't change who they are or how they interact with each other: they would still bicker and banter and be friends, and that's one of the things i love the most about them. ALSO ALL THE DETAILS IN PUEN'S FANTASY ACTUALLY BECOMING TRUE MAKES ME WANT TO RIP MY HEART OUT AND EAT IT BUT LET'S NOT GO THERE

4) wedding scene: I HAVE MULTIPLE ORGANS FAILURE EVERY TIME I REWATCH THIS SCENE POSSIBLY BECAUSE THEIR OUTFITS HERE ARE MY FAVORITE FOR BOTH OF THEM IN THE ENTIRE SHOW BUT MAINLY BECAUSE PUEN IS REALLY OUT THERE JUST SAYING SHIT LIKE "I SHOULD JUST MARRY A COLORIST" IN EPISODE 4!!!!!! BOY HAS JUST REALIZED HE'S IN LOVE LIKE 2 DAYS AGO AND IS ALREADY PLANNING THEIR WEDDING IN HIS HEAD!!!!!! also i adore how the writers use this specific setting to let us know the characters' current attitude towards love: puen talking about getting married and having a partner vs talay being focused on working on the video, puen catching the bouquet with no fear vs talay shielding himself from it.... THIS IS WHY I DESPERATELY NEED THE PUENTALAY WEDDING IN OUR SKYY I /NEED/ P'X TO GIVE ME THIS PARALLEL IT WOULD SIMPLY BE SO DELICIOUS. and not to be that person but fucking raw in that venue right then and there would have been less obscene than the looks they be throwing at each other while puen tells the entire room he is hitting on talay and then gives him the bouquet. jimmysea really be showing up on set every day like we're gonna display so much adoration desire yearning and love through the look in our eyes alone AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH FOR IT

5) puen reading shojo manga: OF COURSE PUEN WOULD LOVE SHOUJO WHEN HE IS SO INTO LOVE AND ROMANCE IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE AND IT'S HONESTLY SO ADORABLE I HOPE TALAY BUYS HIM AN ENTIRE LIBRARY FOR HIM TO FILL WITH ALL HIS FAVORITE MANGA. and i think it's interesting to point out that shoujo, much like the color pink, is something that has been forcefully connected to a whole set of 'feminine' characteristics that society tells men are off-limits for them: men don't need to be caring and sweet and romantic and cute.... but puen is very much all of these things, and maybe his reticence in admitting he likes shoujo is yet another way he hides his real self away because he's scared not to be liked, which makes talay's genuine interest all the more important. also we tend to associate shoujo with romance, but the three more common narrative themes in the genre are a focus on human relations and emotions, characters that defy traditional roles and stereotypes surrounding gender and sexuality, and depictions of supernatural and paranormal subjects. IDK ABOUT YOU BUT THAT SOUNDS VERY FAMILIAR TO ME

6) why they should stop eating so much junk food: THIS MAKES ME LAUGH SO MUCH EVERY TIME I READ IT BUT ALSO I REALLY DO HOPE THEY’RE SNEAKING SOME VEGETABLES IN BETWEEN ALL THE CHIPS AND FRIED CHICKEN AND PREMADE NOODLES AND DIFFERENT KIND OF SWEETS OR THEY’RE GONNA GET A HEART ATTACK BEFORE THE AGE OF 40 (thank god for the 0% sugar oishi drink at least sfjkshfkgs). also not me suddenly getting choked up at the thought of the two of them getting to 50 years old and finding out that talay’s pressure tends to get too high so puen studies a proper diet for it and makes sure talay follows it scrupulously NOT ME THINKING ABOUT OLD PUENTALAY GROWING VEGETABLES IN THEIR GARDEN AND REMINDING EACH OTHER TO TAKE THEIR MEDS EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND I NEED TO GO WALK INTO TRAFFIC REAL QUICK YEAH NO BRB

7) snow scene: there are honestly many things i could talk about in this scene ("when you see snow again next time you will think of me", puen and talay having to play the characters, puen kissing talay's cheek, talay saying he doesn't like to be hugged, the freaking shaved ice made with snow and the oishi drink) BUT THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK ABOUT IS "YOU MUST ONLY BE HAPPY TALAY" LIKE IM SORRY BUT ISABELLE ADJANI GOING TITS OUT INSANE IN THE TUNNEL SCENE FROM POSSESSION HAS NOTHING ON WHAT I FEEL ABOUT THIS LINE IT'S IN MY TOP 10 MOST ROMANTIC PUEN'S LINES AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY IN WAYS I CAN'T REALLY EXPLAIN AND I WISH I COULD SAY ANYTHING COHERENT ABOUT IT BUT RN THERE ARE JUST AMBULANCE SIRENS GOING OFF IN MY HEAD

[captain039]

PART 3 He’s down on his knees

Jared Padalecki x reader

Warnings: sexual, smut, oral, light swearing, age gap, praise kink, dom/sub, bondage, public sex, talks about sex/kinks, first times, self-esteem issues, body issues, chubby reader Just real dirty unless I put feelings into it xD

Just a random movie I’ll make up for this.

I also live for a gay best friend makeup artist

If my future man ain’t obsessed with me I don’t want him xD

Last part <-

The acting was strange from then on. You avoided Jared like the plague, grew flustered anytime you were around him, forgot all your lines in moments, and acted like a young fan girl. Jared either didn’t notice or gave you space, in your dark times you’d figure he’d gotten over you, realised you weren’t worth it, or you were just the fat funny friend everyone looked over.

It’s been a month since your make-out session and your depression seriously kicked you. You were crying at night debating whether to message him or not. Go visit him down the hotel hall, but you just ran, like you always did. Something that was too good to be true probably was.

You groaned when your alarm woke you, you felt like you drank ten litres of vodka or something. You smacked your phone a little too hard and your alarm stopped. You grumbled into the pillow before sliding out of bed and heading to the shower. A knock came though and you groaned again trudging to the door as you fake cry.

“Yes?” You opened the door a mess.

“Uh hey,” you froze hearing Jared’s voice and looking at him.

“Oh-“ you fixed yourself up, especially your tank top that was barely keeping the girls in.

“I’m so sorry” you muttered hiding behind the door and adjusting yourself. You heard him chuckle lightly and cursed yourself. You straightened out your hair the best you could, ignoring the literal bird's nest on the back. You appeared back and gave a brief smile.

“You ok?” He asked smiling slightly.

“Hah!” You said way too loudly and flushed.

“I mean yes” you cleared your throat awkwardly. Geez, this was the worst.

“I can come back” he offered and you nodded.

“Yes, that’d be great” your stomach dropped.

“Alright, I’ll uh, see you later” he chuckled waving goodbye.

“Ok,” you said waving goodbye before closing the door. You groaned and banged your head gently against the door. You had a shower, wondered if you could jump out the window and live then disappear to Africa or somewhere far. You got dressed and had a shake for breakfast before dreading going to see Jared. You had to face him eventually, you’d just tell him the truth and he’d tell you the truth and all will be peachy.

You knocked on his room door and he smiled as he opened it up.

“You look awake now” he chuckled and you nodded as he let you inside.

“Yeah I’m sorry about that- I would’ve um-” you gulped slightly clutching your phone.

“Hey, it's ok” he chuckled.

“I know you're not a morning person I should've come later” he shrugged hands in his pockets.

“Yeah” you muttered dreading the conversation.

“Hey I'm sorry I've been avoiding you,” you said quietly looking at the ground.

“It's ok,” he said rather softly.

“It's not” you muttered.

“Listen I know what happened, it was an amazing, one-time thing I get that, totally fine with me” you gulped glancing at his face. He was frowning confused.

“I'm not someone you know guys hook up with or get into relationships with so I totally understand not coming back” he still didn't speak and your heart pounded.

“Yeah cool, ok, so we good?” you chuckled nervously, shifting on your feet.

“Excuse me?” he muttered and you froze.

“Oh, not good then? Look I'm sorry about everything, I shouldn't have said anything-” you babbled a bit before lips crashed into yours.

“Shut up” he muttered and you nodded quickly as he kissed you roughly. You moaned softly surprised by the noise yourself as Jared's hands gripped your side. Jared backed you into the couch and you sat down before he laid you down and climbed on top of you. Jared groaned softly hands slipping under your shirt and running over your sides. He wasn't gentle like he had pent-up anger or something bursting. You stopped his hands and he lifted his head as you finally got a chance to breathe. A look of guilt flashed on his face as he say up and sat down, head in hand. You frowned slightly wondering what you did wrong, you just needed a breather.

“Sorry” he muttered voice cracking.

“What are you sorry for?” you asked confused as you sat up too.

“Being intense” he scoffed.

“You avoiding me for so long after what happened, I've got a lot of pent-up frustration” he muttered looking to the ground in shame.

“I knew you'd need space so I gave you it, and then you came here saying that, I kind of snapped” he admitted eyes still avoiding yours.

“I'm not used to normal pace” he chuckled dryly. You didn't know what to say, the amount of romance and fanfiction you read was not anything like this, the real emotions going through you.

“When you said prove it, I expected something irrational” he added sighing and shaking his head as he stood. He stretched, hands on the back of his head, shirt lifting. You cursed the dirty thoughts and stood too. You touched his side and he frowned looking at you as you moved to stand in front of him. You rested one hand on his chest and struggled to keep your heart in your chest. He was all muscle, strange from only knowing your body this whole time. You wanted to feel the skin on skin, feel the warmth through his shirt. You hesitated as one hand held the hem of his shirt. He just watched you with hawk eyes, intently staring, wondering. You shook your head slightly having an inward battle before you slipped your hand under his shirt. He was warm, overly warm now, he shuddered slightly, stomach tightening as your hand travelled up his abdomen. He moved and you stilled as he shrugged off his shirt and dropped it on the floor. Your other hand rested on his chest over his heart. It was pounding much like yours, a quick bah-bump under your hand. It was funny feeling the hair there, sure you had hair but not like this, more like fine blonde hair. You came back from your little daydream though and panicked a little. What the hell were you doing?

“I'm so-” before you could speak Jared kissed you softly, hand going over yours that was over his heart. He held it there while his other hand cupped your neck. You sighed gently into the kiss, this was a better speed, you weren't struggling to breathe. Jared pulled back, leaning his head against yours, body slightly hunched over.

“See what you do to me” he chuckled softly and you grew even more flustered and nodded.

Next part ->

[anonymous-person-in-hellhole]

Bubs just wants to help :(

As Bubs sits and eats with GingerBrave in the early morning, trying to regain some energy for the day, who should appear but Black Raisin Cookie and her cute little Rai-sen!

“There you are, GingerBrave!” Bubs waves hi, and she responds, “Oh, and zir Bubblegum Cookie, you too!”

“Black Raisin Cookie! I just love my bed at the Inn! I’ve never slept so well!” GingerBrave says, excitedly, making Bubs smile.

The two continue talking about the council, and Bubs tries to listen, but their mind starts racing, thinking that Clotty is possibly in danger... They can’t let their friend get hurt.

“-I’m gonna go and find out what they think!” Bubs suddenly hears GingerBrave say. Bubs takes this as an opportunity to try and have a talk with Clotty, after all, they want to know how they’re doing right now since yesterday. They know they talked a lot last night but... it wasn’t about what happened yesterday, they were just talking about their lives before now...

“I’ll go with you, kid. I wanted to go and meet Clotted Cream anyway...”

“Ooh, why?~” GingerBrave teased, earning a look from Bubs.

“Yes, Bubblegum Cookie, tell us~” Bubs then looks over to Black Raisin in disbelief.

“No, not you too...” They say, annoyedly but clearly as a joke. With that, the two make off to meet the controversial Consul.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ah, GingerBrave, Bubblegum Cookie! Welcome! A splendid morning, is it not?”

Bubs smiles seeing him still so... smirky? Whatever, they’ve gotten used to it, at this point...

“Yup! Preparing for today council session?” GingerBrave asks, to which, Clotted Cream nods, and that’s when Bubs realized that Espresso was in his room, which makes them wonder where his and Madeleine’s chambers were, if they even have one.. “Listen, I think I found a solution!”

“Huh? What’s your solution, Brave?” They didn’t know that GingerBrave was planning on solving this.

“Why take the Soul Jam to the Republic when you can study it here?” Brave gives his actually good idea. ‘I mean, what’s stopping them from using the technology here?’

“Unfortunately, it is not possible.” Espresso suddenly speaks, “Neither the Cookie Kingdom nor the Vanilla Kingdom have the required equipment available.”

“Well, Strawberry Crepe’s machine did have a hard time scanning their Soul Jam...” ‘and me, for some reason...’ Bubs mentally adds.

“Exactly. The Crème Republic's research facilities are by far, more advanced. Our technology is more refined and our scientists’ training is unparalleled.”

Once again, Bubs’ mind wanders as the people around them continue to speak, something about not wasting time with petty arguments. They wondered, because the Grapefruit was also quite advanced, being able to make the magic gear that every knight back in the kingdom were required to have, as well as the technological magic that kept them afloat, they wonder if, had the kingdom have stayed standing, would they have been able to assist in this situation?

(I mean, the king and queen, as well as the scientists were always open to helping any kingdoms... as long as it would benefit the kingdom for helping at least...)

“Alright, well, I’ll see you guys soon!” Brave speaks, and Bubs looks at the situation in front of them, seeing Clotted Cream and Espresso are too busy discussing something clearly important.

“Uh, I’ll be going, too. Good luck with your plan, Clotty!”

“Oh, thank you, Bubblegum Cookie!”

Bubs walks out with GingerBrave, who stares at them slightly confused.

“Uh, what was that about?” GingerBrave asks, which earns him a confused look from Bubs, “I thought you wanted to talk to him? Why’d you leave?”

“He looked busy... I didn’t want to disturb him...”

“... Oh.”

Bubs smiles at him, then rolls their eyes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They go back into the Solarium of Unity, the most beautiful part of the kingdom. It shortly took their mind off things as they walked inside of this beautiful place again.

“Oh, Wildberry Cookie!” GingerBrave greets the tall, buff, red-haired Cookie who was as stoic as Financier, though, a little less... “What’cha doing here?”

“I was looking at the beautiful stained glass.” Wildberry said, his voice still monotone, but with a slight hint of happiness in it. He continues, “Hollyberry Cookie’s image looks most awe-inspiring... The artisans managed to capture the essence of her very soul!”

Bubs stares at the image of Hollyberry, and agrees with Wildberry’s sentiment. “It’s such a well-made piece, the Cookies who made it had so much love for making all of them! Hollyberry looks exactly like the happy-go-lucky, determined Cookie that she is!”

“The villagers will be happy to hear that you like this place! They worked hard to make the glass shine once again.” GingerBrave then asks, “Listen, I noticed how you look at Hollyberry Cookie. You really do respect her a lot! I mean, I know you have your orders and all, but isn’t there more to it?”

Before Bubs can tell GingerBrave that this is a very weird question to ask anyone, Wildberry answers, “Yes, GingerBrave. As a knight, I do serve the Hollyberry Kingdom. But I follow the Queen Mother not because of any orders. I am... indebted to her. If it weren’t for Hollyberry Cookie’s help...”

“Indebted...?” Both Bubs and Brave ask together.

“If it weren’t for her, I would have roamed the back alleys fighting for survival with nothing but my fists... I met Her Majesty when I was a young vagrant. I was reckless enough to challenge her, unknowing of who she was. Hollyberry Cookie... showed me the error of my ways.”

“Oh! Haha, I can imagine that! When we first met her, she wore a disguise too!”

“Yes. A Cookie of great strength but great humbleness. That experience was... eye-opening. I was a rough street kid, but she treated me with kindness, like a family. Most importantly, she taught me to fight for something that matters... That is why I am here.”

“She sounds like an amazing Cookie...”

“Wow! She must trust you so much if she brought you here!”

He continues to declare his undying loyalty to Hollyberry Cookie, and Bubs relates with all he has to say.

“Your dedication to the Queen Mother is so admirable, Wildberry Cookie.”

“Bubblegum Cookie, I’ve heard from Crunchy Chip Cookie that you are an ex-knight. What was your loyalty to? If you do not mind my inquiring.”

Bubs is taken aback quite a bit... they didn’t expect even one Cookie to know about it... If only Brave’s introduction for them didn’t involve talking about how they were an ex-knight...

“Sorry, I’d really rather not say...”

“Understandable, pardon for my being rude.”

“Pardon granted.”

“Woah, Bubblegum Cookie! I didn’t know you could grant pardons?”

“I can’t. I’m just being polite.”

The duo laughs as the stoic Wildberry smiles.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Walking into the White Lily Greenhouse, where the day before, they had just found out about the true nature of the Cookie with the same name and ingredients as the flowers growing here, a Cookie that them and their past Kingdom used to praise and adore... Bubs was feeling very uncomfortable walking in...

That uneasiness ends when GingerBrave calls out for Pure Vanilla, even though the Cookie in front of them was clearly Madeleine, you can’t mistake his cream blond hair, his style, or his boisterous personality for any other Cookie. Even he admits that.

“What’cha doing here, Madeleine?”

“Well, you see, I arose early in the morning, and have been trying to put my thoughts in order ever since. ALl those otherwordly enemies we’ve met in our quest... Brave Cookies fighting them... The decision only seems difficult, while it’s actually fairly simple: the Heroes must share their Soul Jam. Only this way our world can be saved!”

“Very good point, Ser Madeleine... I didn’t expect such profound reasoning from you...”

“Of course! And, naturally...” He then continues on about how beautiful this greenhouse is, and is only paralleled by him... Both Brave and Bubs agree, and tell him to enjoy himself as they take their leave.

“Looks like Madeleine Cookie has his own concerns at times...”

“Well, of course, Brave, even someone like him would think about this...”

“Well, you aren’t wrong...”

Bubs takes a quick glance at the Lilies growing, uneasiness creeping up like an aura around them before walking out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To the Wafflebot Hangar, the two travelers go to next, making sure to knock at the door of the very frazzled Strawberry Crepe. Only one of them are going in, though, and it’s Bubblegum.

GingerBrave asks Bubs, “Are you sure you wanna go in? Who knows how they’ll figure out what’s ‘wrong’ with you...”

“Eh, it’ll be better than what training I’ve had to endure... Besides, it’s better to figure it out now instead of later...”

So, they walk in, seeing Crepe in the midst of repairing their robot, with some soft cream, other Cookies helping out. Bubs waves goodbye to GingerBrave, who says he’s heading to the Plaza, and to tell Strawberry Crepe he’s greeting them.

“Hey, Strawberry Crepe.”

“Oh, hello, I could use even more hands, could you help, whoever you are?”

“Huh?” Bubs wonders, before deciding to help anyway, because code of conduct, even though they aren’t a real knight anymore...

So, they took off their jacket and gloves, revealing their impressive muscles and startling scars, and get to work on helping with both lifting and managing the machinery of the robot. It takes only two hours along with breaks for Strawberry Crepe to be satisfied enough with the repairs, that they call everyone to continue on with their lives. Before turning to Bubs.

“Oh, what the? When did you get here, 1% despair?”

“I was helping you the entire time, Crepe.”

“Nevermind that, you’re here now, and I need to know exactly what about you makes you so difficult to interpret!” So, Crepe dragged Bubs to their testing chambers, and Bubs prepares for whatever’s about to happen...

Tests were run for hours, and most of the results showed that overall, they were a normal Cookie... although, with a little flash of the same words of Anomalous Nature Of Matter Acclimated Life Yeans...

“Hmm... it seems to flash whenever it has to analyze your data...”

“Yeah, except this time, it’s not even making it fry... why?”

“Well, we’ve done pretty much every test I can think of... I’m sure you were tested before, did anything strange happen during those times?”

“Uh... no, not really... well, maybe...” Bubs then recounts the story of their first testing, and at first, the machines were fine, but a little while later, the machines were reported to be fried... “I just didn’t think it was because of me...”

“You know... I once tried scanning the Soul Jam 75% Plain Vanilla has, and it almost short-circuited my machineries too...”

“I don’t know... I never really found myself being an anomaly... besides... my survival...but other than that, nothing ever comes to mind.”

Strawberry Crepe sits down, sighing in defeat, and Bubs feels horrible for them, but also confused, because what else about them could be anomalous in nature? Their mind? Their abilities? Not really...

“Well, it seems that the council is about to start... are you ready to go, Ser Bubs?”

Bubs wears their gloves and jacket, before nodding. The two leave the hangar to the council meeting room.

[sweetscenes]

 I find myself incredibly bored, and sleep isn’t cutting it so I’m gonna tell y’all some stories from my 10+ years of rping on various platforms! Buckle up everyone, let’s do this. 

 My first story comes in the form of me being involved in an ami.no rp, where I created a marvelous, detailed OC. I was really proud of this OC, and it took me several days to flesh out her character and her journey. She was a wonderful character, although I’ll never rp her again due to this incident. 

 One of my BIGGEST pet peeves is when someone plagarizes or copies people’s writing, art, whatever. So, you can imagine my surprise upon finding out that one group of friends copied the ENTIRE amino. Like, legit took our systems, rules, aesthetics, everything. Now as someone who helped build this platform, including writing up a fair amount of lore and fun abilities, I was a little steamed. 

 But NOTHING could compare to someone literally copying and pasting my OC. They literally control A control c control v my character. The same metaphors, the same expressions, the same TYPOS were on the form. They changed the face claim and the name of the OC but otherwise it was EXACTLY my form. 

 They tried to claim that it was their own OC. Which it was not. That was wild, let me tell you. I ended up just leaving the dm, blocking them, and moving on. They were banned from the amino they copied, so like, lol it worked out I guess. 

 Now let’s talk about the time I was bitched out by someone... because they liked me. 

 On this SAME amin.o, someone comes into my dms and starts talking with me. Chatting. We talk for a few weeks, and I noticed that she started modeling her aesthetics after mine, which, fine. Then she sought out the same abilties for her characters as mine. Which again, okay. 

 She’s always telling me how much she admires me, how much she looks up to me, things like that. I’m flattered, but eventually it starts getting kinda overwhelming. 

 Finally, one day, I wake up to this HUGE rant on how she admires me so much that she hates me. That she wishes she were me, because I have everything she wants. She ranted about how good I was at rp and creating characters and how she was so envious of my ability and said it wasn’t fair that I got everything. Like she went ON. 

 I think I was just like “oh sorry” before I moved on and never mentioned it again. 

 One last story from amin.o. Someone created an OC. A rather peculiar OC. This OC was... 

 A kazoo. 

 Yes, someone wanted to roleplay a sentient kazoo. 

 Forged by Hepheatus and blessed by Aphrodite, this kazoo just wanted to be played and make friends with humans. It had feelings. It had love. It was something else. 

 We, of course, approved the kazoo. 

 If that wasn’t wild enough, someone’s character had BEEF with the kazoo. Like unironically. 

 I think the thing was that the girl that the person’s character liked was hanging out with the kazoo more than him, so the OC. (without the muns) permission, threw the kazoo into the water and described it drowning. 

 People then, before the kazoo was revived, held a massive funeral for said kazoo. 

 So there’s that. 

 My final story for now relays the time I got kicked out of a roleplay because my character was causing unrest and problems. 

 But not for the reason anyone would think. 

 So I join a group of home.stuck roleplayers, we are doing a fan session. I make a human OC, and join in the rp where there are already three human characters. trolls have not be cast yet, which was fine, they wouldn’t be relevant for a while. 

 Anyways, I guess I made my character too likable because all of the muns of the human characters decided to have them all crushing on MY OC. My lesbian OC. It was the Wednesday love triangle before it even happened. Or i guess square? Since it was two dude ocs and one girl oc in addition to my oc. 

 Yep, this actually happened. 

 So people in OOC would get into fights about MY CHARACTER and how I should be shipping with THEIR OC. My character caused ship wars. 

 Eventually, the admin decided to KICK ME OUT, rather than telling the other three to get it together. Like “if you all can’t share none of you can have it” I guess? 

 I’ve never joined another fan.session. 

 I hoped you enjoyed a small taste of the wildness I’ve experienced, and let me know if you want me to share more stories including the time an online friends tried to isolate me from my irl life, someone who thought I was a kin from the same source their kin was, the time I had to deal with a server wide crisis because the other admins decided to play a nasty april fools prank while I wasn’t online, or the time I became a relationship counselor for two people in their mid 20s. I was 16. And many more! 

 Until next time folks. 

[itsjaywalkers]

UMMMM NOTHING HAPPENS???

Dude. This, you’ve done something with this.

Like the first part REGGIES ADORABLE, and they’re obvs already soulmates, and it’s setting the Sirius dynamic. Like especially with James and Sirius, I think it’s a fun way to explore their friendship, and James’ inability to say no.

THEN THE NEXT PART! JAMES MY LOVE YOU.ARE.JELOUS!!!!!! Like my guy. The “baby”, James please have a conscious thought. The beef between Pandora and Sirius is so real <3. But it’s interesting to see like another sibling haver perspective on Sirius and Reg cause James is just James. Like it’s speaks a lot about everyone’s dynamic I think how everyone interacts with the twins (Love them but the way, your Evan is <333)

THEN THE LAST PART. HOLY SHIT. Like i thought they were about to have a cute moment (which i guess they did) but then BAM “what about your girlfriend?”. It was like a record scratch in my brain. I’m very excited to get Regs’ side of the story, and James is my bbg i’ll always defend him even if he sucks, if James said it was a platonic make out session, it was a platonic make out session. (I’m kidding he’s being a dick) BUT THE “You’re my best friend” while they were literally sucking face. Babe. Please. AND WHEN HE CALLED OUT WOLFSTAR, you have literally no room to talk. Like at all. But like, him being like “Em. Babe. ur overreacting” While reg was literally cuddled up in him. LIKE WHAT JAMES? THATS INSANE!

But like based of what you’ve posted IDK, but it’s different than what I expected?? (in a good way). Like the characterization is so compelling in this! I’m very excited for this and am very patiently waiting for the next part, in the meantime i’ll be re reading and finding even more insane bits i missed i’m sure.

(sorry for rambling, but thank you lots for writing <3)

NEVER APOLOGISE FOR RAMBLING and this ask made my day, i couldn't answer until now bc i've been shopping all morning/afternoon but !!! i read it as soon as i woke up and it made me <3 so very happy <333

ELEVEN YEAR-OLD REGGIE IS SOOOO CUTE i need to put him in my mouth and . chew . he's so very dear to me i swear <333 i also love his dynamic with sirius and all the banter between james and sirius was so fun to write. their friendship sort of . deteriorates . in a way . bc of regulus and both sirius and james' inability to share, so i'm glad i got to write them like this before that, like proper best friends!!!

HE'S SO FUCKING JEALOUS IT'S ACTUALLY CONCERNING the 'baby' was playing soooo dirty and so manipulative of him. and i'm so glad u enjoy sirius and pandora's rivalry bc it's one of my fav things in nothing happens hehe. and yessss james has a very . close-minded view of siblings, in a way, since he's an only child and he's never gonna understand what goes down in those kinds of bonds. so getting to see the twins and how they behave and interact with others helps with james' lacking perspective imo!! also nothing happens evan is my baby, i'm so happy u like him <333

THE LAST PART IS THE WOMAN OF THE HOUR I THINK so intense so hot so dramatic <3 the mention of james' gf IS supposed to hit, bc despite the fic being from his pov, he never thinks about her until reg mentions her, which is . wild . if u stop to think about it . idk if we'll ever get reg's side of the story bc nothing happens works better bc it's james-centric but !! who knows !! i'd love to write his pov of some moments for sure (and share more content of the twins too). also i'm so surprised to see how much ppl are loving nh james??? he's gonna get worse, so idk how long this will last but i'm quite pleased so far bc i adoreeee him. HE'S SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT DURING THAT WHOLE CONVO telling his literal gf she's overreacting when he has reg seated on his lap, telling reg he's his best friend after having his tongue down his throat . he's insane . especially bc he believes every single word coming out of his mouth

oh i'm so glad ur liking it despite the story not being what u expected (so relieved it's in a good way tho). the characterizations in nothing happens are what make the fic super compelling to me too so <3 taking this as a huge compliment <3 i'm gonna go back to writing oby + a pandalily pwp now so idk when the next part will be ready but !! since nothing happens is what i always write on the side bc it comes quite easy to me, it could be done sooner than it seems. we'll see!!

thank you so much for reading and for sending such a lovely ask, it means the whole world MWAH <333

[dear-ao3]

riddle me this. what does a 50 million dollar drive, a giant helmet made from recycled materials, the british media, safety infringements, an aborted start, six red flags, rain, team orders, the first black flag in seventeen years, the dutch national anthem and ayrton sennas 1990 mclaren all have in common? 

stumped? well i’ll tell you. 

it’s the 2024 brazilian grand prix.

the last race of our second to last triple header. a sprint weekend. and chaos in its highest form.

today is november 23, 2024 and make sure you get a snack because this is a long one. 

we started the week off pretty strong with lance stroll getting broken up with on his birthday.

well, maybe. 

his girlfriend deleted all of the pictures of him off of her instagram account on his birthday, which really doesnt look good. and this really set the tone for the week of bonkers shit that was now upon us. 

things like lando being asked about the dreaded Last Week With Max incident. in an interview he was asked (told?)

“Are you aware that people watching at home don't want to see the fight between you and Max for the world championship ending in radio messages, tedious steward inquires, time penalties? They want to see you racing nicely and cleanly.” 

lando was in agreement clearly because he said 

“And so do I! And I do.”

max on the other hand still remained max about the situation 

he was asked  during the press conference: “a lot has been said since mexico. are you going to change the way you go racing this weekend?” 

and max said, like a badass:

“yeah, ive heard that before in my career. its my tenth year in formula 1. i think i know what im doing!”

christian horner brought receipts, as in actual data sheets, to his mexico gp media session about how max’s penalties from mexico were unjust. i don't think that anyone really listened to any of this though because the penalties were never unturned. 

one penalty that they did figure out what charles’s swear penalty from the press conference in mexico. the fia finally made a decision. charles will be pleased to know that he does Not have to do community service with max. but honestly (and this is now my own opinion here) why give one guy community service and not give it to the other? max apologized for his language Before he said “the car is fucked.” charles apologized After once he realized what was going to happen. not really sure here why the fia is out to get max but whatever i don't make the rules. also. the fines and the community service seem to Only be confined to the press conferences because as we know. people have cursed in the cool down room (lando in singapore notably) and also many have over the radio (checo, franco, charles, george, etc etc) and they have not been told anything. hm. in any case though, we have more important things to focus on than weird swear bans. 

like charles leclerc nation going insane when this video was posted, which is a new contender for best weird yet still sexy video of charles on the ferrari page

liam lawson told everyone that he is “not here to make friends, im here to win.” following his Incidents with fernando and also checo at the us and mexican gps. which is interesting for a few reasons. 1. hes in a vcarb and statistically they have not won a single thing all season because they are vcarb and 2. he was soon after seeing being besties with yuki.

oh and also. max reacted to (was asked about?) the whole liam flipping checo off while they were driving in mexico thing, and max said “Checo, I think if I did that to you, I would be quite afraid leaving the country.”

and there were also the usual “this is checo’s last race weekend” general threats. weve seen these before. so theyre not worth wasting typing space on because i cant imagine that theyre going to fire him this late into the season. and why would we talk about the goofy red bull rumors that always are swirling everywhere when we could instead talk about lewis hamilton and franco colapinto.

lewis hamilton praised the crap out of franco colapinto. at the press conference on media day. as we all know franco is a lewis fangirl. so. he honestly might still be in a state of shock.  

“It's always great to see young people, young talented individuals get the opportunity to come through and shine, and he did that in the first race. We had a great little battle and it was super safe. It was hard but fair. [...] He's saying it's not for him to decide, but my advice would be - I would be pushing on my side to make sure I'm doing absolutely everything. At the end of the day, he's got to continue to focus on doing his job every weekend, as he is, and hopefully, he's got good people behind him who are doing the right job to make sure that he's here racing next year.”

and low and behold a few hours later franco did make a fangirl post about it.

also. brazil is Not franco’s home race, but they are now officially in south america, so it was like a home race adjacent for him (hes from argentina) and the crowds were definitely in agreement. we will get back to that later. 

there was a fan at the race who saw him in the paddock and yelled at him “FRANCO. CAN YOU SIGN MY SHIRT? IT’S A KNOCKOFF ONE. FRANCOOOOO” and he lost his shit over that. because remember a few weekends ago he told everyone to buy williams knockoff merch cause it was just as good and not as much money?

we also had some helmets. valtteris had coffee on it because its something that brazil is known for.

oscars had funny little androids on it that were all different hims (he also said he only recently learned that it was polite cat and not sleepy cat)

esteban had some brazil themed stuff

lewis had a senna/brazil tribute helmet

lewis was also going to get to drive ayrton senna’s 1990 mclaren after qualifying on saturday.

oh and of course we had stake do a funny little meme thing on their twitter because theyre quite known for their funny little meme things.

is this a terrible glimpse at media day? yeah absolutely but u know what i have 7 pages of notes front and back from the races themselves so deal with it i suppose. unlike what some of you may think, i 1. do not want to be writing this post forever and 2. also have other things i need to do.

one person was not at media day though and it was fernando alonso and it was because he was in the hospital im pretty sure somewhere in spain for what im also pretty sure was intestinal issues. he had also been out last week for media day due to sickness, but he was back for the race. between this and lace’s probable breakup it was shaping up to be a banner weekend for aston martin, and it was only going to get worse!

someone who definitely didn't miss media day though was sebastian vettel. if you don't know who sebastian vettel is, he was a four time world champion, menace, shit stirrer and boy toy twink esque guy who is now mostly unreachable and is the epitome of “hey i cant do nothing to nobody no more” and comes out of hiding maybe twice a year to subject the grid to a new arts and crafts project. but do not be fooled. this is the same guy who was asked, after winning his first race, if it was the best moment of his life and he said, and i quote “you obviously weren’t there when i lost my virginity.” anyway, this time his arts and crafts project was a giant helmet made from recycled materials paying tribute to ayrton senna. and yes, he made the whole grid get in the helmet. his whimsey is still off the charts.

he was also wearing really terrible shorts. as in they were long, over the knee khaki shorts. some things never change. 

he also tried to make a bet with sky germany about max winning the championship. sky germany refused.

ok im not even going to Pretend to know what happened during the practice session. max got a 5 place grid penalty for sundays race because he took a new engine.  i think george’s car briefly broke? idk. he did get it fixed tho and ended the session in p2, behind lando who was p1. and then we had a special guest in p3.

who was it? well i will give you a clue. it was NOT kevin magnussen!!! why? because he wasn’t feeling well.

so, everyones favorite (team dubbed) “super sub” jumped back in the cockpit once again. 

you guessed it, it was ollie bearman!!! originally i think he was supposed to just be in for practice (and yes he did get p3 in practice). but since its a sprint weekend (yeah, i forgot that too) that means theres only one practice session and then sprint qualifying later that day. and so. the way formula racing works. is that whatever driver drives the car for qualifying also needs to drive the car for the race. they cant get replaced if the car has already qualified. 

ollie by the way had never driven in brazil before. he said that he did it once in a video game. and now he was about to do it irl in a real car. he also got a phone call at 6:45am saying heyyyyy buddyyyy you wanna jump in the car this weekend? we happen to have an opening! and well that's not the exact quote but that is what happened.  

and then haas announced that kevin was not going to be racing that weekend due to sickness. ollie responded in a definitely very normal way which was “of course condolences…i mean, give my best to kevin.” and then he was officially In The Car for the weekend. what could do wrong???  

well lets just say that a Lot happened:

starting with lovely and wonderful Sprint Qualifying. yes that’s right. this is a sprint weekend. why does the fia do this to us guys. 

two things were important to note. 

there was a slight threat of rain

2. the track had been resurfaced and it was bumpy, which is not great when you're driving over 200kph. it really can affect your vision and also your back

lewis had trouble with the car a few years ago when it was porpoising and he was also not doing great at this race. but merc said that he was “all good.” he was not the only driver complaining about the bouncing though. it was extreme and it was dangerous and we will hear more about it later. 

i think that franco took a nap at some point. at least its in my notes so it must have happened. and i think that it was also in the car. unfortunately i don't have a photo. like many other things on this post you will just have to trust me.

aston martin had decided that their car sucked to massive degrees and rolled back their upgrades all the way to suzuka. u know, just to see if they could figure out what the fuck was wrong with their car. Unfortunately though they could not because both of their drivers got out during sq1. 

one team was pleased with what was happening and that was mclaren. they had a new rear wing that was brazil specific and also apparently legal unlike the last one and they were Flying. in sq2 lando took the fastest time with a 1.09.0. on medium tires. last years fastest time was 1.10 on soft tires, so in the words of the commentators, “norris is on another planet!” this was good for them because they hadnt actually been sure they were going to be able to race. theor freight for their car (and some other teams cars) had all been delayed cause they were shipped in wooden boxes and you cant ship things in wooden boxes to brazil because they need to protect the rain forest.

the commentators, mostly karun, also lamented about the swear bans, which they rightfully thought were stupid as hell. he brought up a good point though which was “are you going to have translators for every language? how are you going to monitor it?” because very few of them speak english as their first language and most speak more than 1 language so it is possible they could just curse in Not English

but we don't have time for that right now. not when ollie bearman had just knocked checo out of sprint qualifying. that’s right, ollie went just slightly faster, pushing checo from p10 down to p12. 

liam and checo also almost crashed. which wasn't a surprise but it was still funny.

also surprising was that oscar pulled out a pole lap at the very end of sq3, a 1:08.899, only a few thousandths faster than lando. 

“where did that come from?” karun asked. “was he saving something in his pocket away from his teammate? that is a very fernando alonso trick”

regardless of what it was, he was still on pole. for the second time during a sprint. 

“very very happy,” oscar said in his interview. “try and win obviously…starting from the best seat in the house, make sure it stays that way.” which is an important surprise tool that you should all remember for later. later being the sprint race. 

they all lined up

oscar, lando, charles, max, carlos, george, pierre, liam, alex, ollie, lewis, nico, checo, franco, valtteri, fernando, esteban, yuki, lance and guanyu. 

and before we get into the sprint, lets get a little reminder on the championship standings.

1 Max Verstappen 362

2 Lando Norris 315

3 Charles Leclerc 291

4 Oscar Piastri 251

5 Carlos Sainz 240

6 Lewis Hamilton 189

7 George Russell 177

8 Sergio Perez 150

9 Fernando Alonso 62

10 Nico Hulkenberg 31

11 Lance Stroll 24

12 Yuki Tsunoda 22

13 Kevin Magnussen 14

14 Alexander Albon 12

15 Daniel Ricciardo 12

16 Pierre Gasly 9

17 Oliver Bearman 7

18 Franco Colapinto 5

19 Esteban Ocon 5

20 Liam Lawson 2

21 Zhou Guanyu 0

22 Logan Sargeant 0

23 Valtteri Bottas 0

so max, lando and i believe also charles and maybe oscar?? were still in contention for the championship title. and as a reminder. oscar was starting on pole, with lando, charles and max all behind. lando was able to knock some points off of max in mexico with the time penalties that he racked up and was really hoping to continue to do that in brazil. so max needed to get around charles at the start asap so he could start duking it out with the mclarens.

and speaking of mclaren, there was some good speculation that we might get faced once again with the “papaya rules” aka mclaren team orders. as in, oscar might have to let lando past.

and so. lets see what happened on lap 1. 

well. max did not pass charles. lewis dropped several places, ollie dropped several places, and the two mclarens started to pull away from the rest of the pack, especially oscar who managed to get half a second ahead of lando. 

so we had a slightly new running order:

oscar, lando, charles, max, carlos, george, pierre, liam, nico, ollie, alex, checo, franco, lewis, esteban, valtteri, yuki, fernando, lance and guanyu

and then max and charles started battling on lap 3. by lap 4 charles had taken the fastest lap. and by lap 6 he had closed the gap to lando and was in an epic drs train because lando had also closed the gap to oscar.

george had also started struggling, probably because he was in a mercedes, and was trying to get passed by pierre gasly, in a alpine. 

lando meanwhile, was still up in p2 and not entirely pleased. 

“yeah, im not sure what were doing here i thought we talked about this” he said over his radio right before he locked up and fell out of oscars drs and into charles and then also max’s drs. he was probably referring to, why the hell hadn’t mclaren done their team orders business yet?

well, his race engineer, will jacobs, had absolutely no information to offer for him, he instead said. “understood keep doing what you’re doing.” 

“yeah whatever,” lando said, unimpressed. 

there was some announcer speculation that oscar might give it up to him on the last lap, on the last corner, similar to what lando did to oscar way back in hungary. hungary? idk. its been a long season. and its still even longer.

anyway. checo had been stuck down behind nico hulkenberg in 11th for a very solid nine laps, unable to pass him. he finally managed it on lap 9. his reward? another haas to pass! ollie bearman! he managed that a few laps later and was met with quite possibly his biggest foe: liam lawson. who, just to add even more insult to injury, was in the last points position of the race.

mclaren meanwhile had decided to do some team orders, but not the ones that lando wanted. they told oscar to drop back to give lando some drs, to rescue him from the charles and max inferno that was chasing him. and oscar did. the top 4 though were still separated only by 4 seconds. 

and charles, he understood the assignment. he was racing absolute balls to the wall, elbows all the way out. doing anything and everything to keep max behind him. 

max was though, unimpressed. 

“ah come on charles man, so many mistakes,” he said over the radio. 

charles was told about this post sprint, and he had a funny little reaction. unfortunately i could only find that reaction in gif format.

in any case, i believe this was a clip from sky sports, possibly probably alex jaques who said after that radio "that is max verstappen urging a rival that he's had since his childhood to stay with the McLaren because he wants the ferrari to stay there. but that error has created now two battles instead of a four car battle for the lead."

to make it worse for max, lando could have gotten ahead of oscar here, but alas there were no team orders. so he could not. and also he was still slightly too close to charles and max to not be under threat from them. still, oscar was told to floor it to open the gap between lando and charles, for the potential swap. 

and there was nothing that charles could do about it cause he had absolutely no battery power. 

will jacobs finally decided to mention the team orders threats on lap 17. “we are happy to hold these positions until the last lap.” 

to which lando said “yeah i will overtake.” 

and so it seemed that the commentators were correct. there was a prophesied last lap swap coming from mclaren. 

in case you're tired of this mess, checo was still battling for 8th place with liam. he managed to get it very briefly. and then he lost it because he locked up. 

oscar went fastest on lap 18. and then max also passed charles. 

so it was game fucking on at the front of the grid. and everyone, including gp, max’s race engineer, knew it. because he told max on lap 19 “cmon mate, lets chase em down.” 

mclaren responded as anyone would. by telling oscar “verstappen we believe is faster than leclerc” on lap 24. which is like. fork found in kitchen. max is the king of putting that red bull in places that it should never be allowed to go and that is the front of the grid. 

speaking of red bulls, checo finally managed to pass liam lawson for 8th. and he did it cleanly without locking up this time. and liam didn't even flip him off.

and mercedes, to no ones surprise, had no race pace. 

then! interestingly! there was a yellow flag! but the cameras didn't quite cut fast enough so we didn't really see what happened. turned out that nico hulkenberg had pulled off with an exhaust issue. he was technically off the track, but it was not in an overtaking spot (can overtake during yellow flags) and he seemed to still be trying to maneuver the car further away from the track, so the announcers said that this would not hurt the overtaking battle that was looming between the mclarens and max. the cameras then jumped back to that, kind of ignoring nico. 

they had still not swapped, and max was gaining. 

then the cameras cut Back to nico hulkenberg. and he was now out of the car. standing on the grass near some barriers. and this picture doesnt really do it justice but he is about 15 feet from a live race track

(there was still a yellow flag in that specific sector but he was OUT OF THE CAR next to a FORMULA 1 TRACK with NO SAFETY CAR) 

there was now though a Threat of a safety car. gee i wonder why. his car was stopped not too far from the track and he was standing on the track, it was a massive disaster waiting to happen. 

and so, mclaren gave the team order to swap positions. 

lando and oscar did. 

and immediately.

and i MEAN IMMEDIATELY they called a virtual safety car. 

oscar had dropped back into the clutches of max verstappen and max had just revved up to pass him when suddenly! no no! safety car!

which was interesting.

but we will get back to that in a minute.

now, under a virtual safety car, cars need to keep the gap between them, but the track can go green at any moment and without any warning. 

and max was on top of that. “pay attention to this!” he said over radio “because if hes (oscar) on purpose driving slow (to give lando a bigger gap) report it!” 

oscar though seemingly remained on his best behavior. 

and on the last lap the virtual safety car was announced to be ending. 

max was getting antsy behind the two mclarens and pulled up next to oscar in preparation for the track going green, but it went green a second too late and oscar was able to pull away and make a beeline all the way to the checkered flag while still keeping max behind. 

lando came in first, followed by oscar, max, charles, carlos, george, pierre, checo, liam, alex. lewis, franco, esteban, ollie, yuki, guanyu, and lance and nico DNFd. 

oscar was clearly very disappointed about the result (remember he said after sprint qualifying that he wanted to hold onto his p1). and karun wondered aloud if “mark webber will negotiate a bonus for oscar with that, he should.” cause remember, mark webber was the infamous number 2 red bull teammate to sebastian vettel who was forced to pretty much give up anything and everything for him. and, need i remind you, this weekend seb was running willy nilly around the paddock getting drivers to get in his giant recycled helmet. all very distressing things for one mark webber. 

oscar also said that it was “a bit tricky….bit bumpy….learned a lot for the race tomorrow.” 

lando said that “we work well as a team together….i thanked oscar….he deserved it but you do what you have to do.” 

later, in the press conference, an interviewer congratulated oscar on his win. oscar, confused, said “i don't know what i won but thank you” 

max said that he “had to wait for some mistakes and luckily they came” in regards to overtaking charles. “it took a bit too long with charles…but whenever hes on the drs, hes very hard to attack!”

charles said in a later interview about max “i think max was a lot more on the reserve at the beginning then started pushing at the end. he had more pace, he did a better job with tire management”

lets remember that these two are Not Teammates. 

max though was brought to the stewards though for a vsc infringement (when he pulled next to oscar) because that is Not Allowed. and he ended up with a time penalty that demoted him to fourth. so charles ended up finishing third. and he got a penalty point on his super license.

but what about that safety car call? 

well i am so glad that you asked. 

the post race show opened with one will buxton talking to one andrea stella, the mclaren team principal. and here was what he had to say about the mclaren 1-2:

“very good news, a mclaren 1-2… [we had a ] clear conversation with both drivers [before the race]” here he then called them both number 1 drivers again (which everyone thought we were past) “[it was] very risky swapping even with 1.5 seconds [to max], we were waiting for a few more seconds to materialize, but it never did” 

will buxton, ever the shit stirrer and also as we know, probably the number 1 person pissed at mclarens team strategy this year, then asked why lando was so upset over the radio. 

andrea was having none of it. “well i already answered the question didn't i? when you're a number 1 driver you get nervous when you are behind…we needed to do a very good job to stay ahead of him [max].” 

he then departed and james hinchcliffe quite literally Stumbled into frame with his own thoughts on the mclaren swap. “it ended to plan, it didn't go to plan,” he said. “they got very lucky with the vsc.” 

he then talked about the vsc. “the timing of the vsc was weird to me” you know with the driver being a solid 10 feet from the track with zooming cars? “i don't think it was done the best it could have been done.” 

and this seemed to be the general consensus everywhere else online. why on earth wait to call a safety car when quite literally we had a driver who was out of the car and standing next to the track? that is quite literally a Safety Problem. and given the timing of the mcalren swap, it seemed Possible that perhaps race control had been waiting for mclaren to swap before calling the car. which is, as im sure you could all figure out, kind of weird and sketchy.

but aside from that. there was still much praise for max. “max played it so smart today,” james said, referring to max selectively murdering charles’s tires by fighting with him for the first half of the race. “with not the best car on track hes still performing above expectations.” 

there was some proper francomania in brazil. so much so that flights from argentina to brazil had sold out. franco said on the post race show that “the rivalry between brazil and argentina is in football not motor racing.” 

pierre had scored a p7 which he was happy with. mostly because it was a points position and those are kinda hard to come by at alpine. 

lewis though just about wanted to quit. they asked him how his race pace was and he said “horrendous. one of the worst races ive had” which is really saying something when you remember that he has had 353 race starts. he wanted to change the car entirely before quali. 

and lance stroll also winked at esteban ocon while they were interviewing ollie bearman. 

most notable quote from the post sprint was this, by max:  

the interviewer asked him: “lando said ‘i don't have to change my driving style, if anyone has to do it, it's max.’ do you agree? you won't change it?” 

and max said: “[im a] three time world champion. i don't have to change anything.”

max, as some of us may forget, is a very good driver, he’s just in a shit car this year and other people are very very fast. finally. but he is in fact a 7 time world champion. he won every race except 3 last year. he’s insane and he loves this sport. it never pays well to underestimate max verstappen.

and with that absolute banger of a line, let’s get into qualifying. 

what's that? its delayed? why is that? 

oh! cause its raining!

like comical, almost biblical amounts of rain. 

during the delay we had one will buxton and one james hinchcliffe speaking to us about all the current drama.

for example: is checo doing enough? apparently christian horner has dialed back the intensity of his support, so whos to say! but then again, this is red bull, they drop people for anything and everything

and they briefly mentioned the audi seat cause everyone is in contention for the audi seat apparently, including gabriel bortoleto, who is currently leading the f2 championship and a mclaren academy driver.

but they mostly debated their favorite topic: what the ever loving fuck is going on at mclaren. 

specifically, this edition: Why Didn't They Swap Cars Sooner????

(please know this conversation was had in rain jackets in the pouring damn rain and it looked like they were like uh we got no broadcast happening cause downpour we need to fill the time we need to fill the time hmmm what to do oh! we got will and hinch! give then a microphone and let them go for it! and that they did)

james thought that they left themselves exposed to max and charles for too long, and apparently mclaren said that it would swap the cars at the first opportunity originally but then they didn't swap when they said over the radio that the gap to leclerc was significant. 

will buxton had a theory: “they’re trying to do it without upsetting either driver” 

he then, in true will buxton fashion, went completely and totally off the rails about it: 

“andrea stella wrote the guidebook for team orders when he worked at ferrari. where is that? [why aren’t they saying ‘you work for us, you do what we say’?]”

“the team [the drivers] needs to understand who pays the bills here” james added.

“if they don't lay down the law now they put themselves in an awkward position or later” will said about how this would affect the future of mclaren because if they were already starting to win now and be in contention for the championships then whos to say that they couldn't do it again next year?

and then, somewhat inexplicably, they stopped talking to us and we had no screens no nothing no view on anyone for about 40 minutes. all we could assume was that qualifying was delayed. 

and that it definitely was. 

once we finally got a visual on the track again it was in fact still raining, and only getting worse. 

but if theres one thing about formula 1, its that they know how to have fun in the rain.

like how they let ted loose in the pit lane and he stalked through the mercedes garage, and proudly told the whole world that bono, lewis’s race engineer, has a carbon fiber cup of tea. and then the camera zoomed in on it.

 

he then also tried to talk to toto by picking up a headset and shouting into it “we miss you toto!” but instead of getting to toto the message went to jack, toto’s son?  

and then someone, i don't remember who, perhaps it was karun, told ted to “look at fred vasseur, hes a handsome man most of the time.” 

the crowds were shouting “ole ole ole franco!” which was different from their usual chant of “ole ole ole senna!” and will buxton told franco that “flights from buenos aries to sao palo have sold out, that's the affect you are having” franco was impressed.

ollie bearman, who has objectively, by the way, been thrown now into three increasingly more insane race weekends (saudi arabia with like a few hours notice, singapore, and now the hellscape that was the giant rain storm in brazil) decided to do the sensible thing and take a nap.

"at his age it's gonna be his bed time soon, right?" one of the servus tv announcers said about ollie.

lewis decided to brave the rain to take some aesthetic rain pics

which he then posted on his instagram story

kimi antonelli was not so lucky. he got shoved into the rain by some mercedes mechanics. for sport.

george meanwhile was off jumping in puddles

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and looking like a polite bowling pin wearing maybe some toe nail polish

and jack doohan made everyone tea in the alpine garage

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oscar had a lovely little chat with fernando alonso

and then so did mark webber 

perhaps the most insane part of this was that no one and i mean no one knew how they were going to decide the grid order, should qualifying not happen. and as it got progressively more and more delayed, that was looking like it was going to be the case. 

the race director told everyone at one point that it was “not really possible to qualify” which was you know, a problem, since that needs to happen in order for them to race. 

hilariously, there was nothing in the regulations for if someone like this were to happen.

next years regulations said that championship standings could be used for qualifying order if qualifying was not able to occur, but that's not this years regs so they couldn't do that. there were though regulations for what should happen should qualifying for a sprint race not be able to occur and that was use the standings from practice 1. and there was also regulations for what should happen if qualifying could not occur on a normal race weekend and that was use the standings from practice 3. but this was a sprint weekend in the main grand prix. so should they use the standings from practice 1? that would be particularly advantageous to haas who had ollie bearman come in third. should they use the standings from the sprint race? that would benefit mclaren. 

“i’ll add this to the list of reasons why i’m glad im not a steward,” karun said.

they continued to debate. everyone went back and forth. theyre going to use practice 1! theyre going to use the sprint! they’ll use sprint qualifying! 

they got a hold of mike krak (the aston martin tp) who said that it was “a bit too dark and a bit too gloomy and a lot wet” definitely too wet for racing. 

sure enough qualifying was then switched from “delayed” to “postponed” perhaps indefinitely. 

there was a chance that they could move qualifying to sunday morning. but the weather was not good for then either. and so the session ended, with no one knowing what the fuck was happening and sir lewis hamilton interrupting f1 ceo Stefano Domenicali’s interview saying:  

"I wanna go out give us better wet tyres and warming blankets so we can go out!" 

and that was it

now, rain at the interlagos circuit is not exactly unheard of. mostly because it is literally interlagos (between two lakes, in portuguese)and theres been some insane rain races here before. namely 2016. max, who was still nearly a rookie and only in his first full year at red bull at that point had qualified fourth but ended up down in 16 with 15 laps to go due to some oversteer and pit stopping. he managed to make it all the way up to 3rd by sheer willpower and insanity alone and toto wolff called it “the verstappen show” because it was “physics…being redefined.” 

another infamous rain race was the one in 2008, the season finale race and where lewis hamilton won his first world championship title at mclaren. he almost lost the title to felipe massa at ferrari. felipe won the race, and lewis was running in 6th around the last few corners to the checkered flag when the person driving in front of him, timo glock, started going slowly and he managed to pass him for 5th place, which was all he needed to get to win the championship. but there were a few minutes of celebration in the ferrari garage where they thought they had won the drivers championship, until lewis crossed the line. and “is that glock going slowly?” is one of those very famous facing quotes

and last year at qualifying in brazil it ended with an absolutely biblical storm (according to crofty) and we got the infamous max verstappen storm lap for pole position

the running fan theory though as to why there was such massive amounts of rain this year was that nelson piquet was in the paddock. why does this matter? well. nelson piquet (a three time world champion and also father of max verstappen’s current girlfriend kelly) was fined 1 million dollars and banned from entering an f1 paddock again as punishment for racist and homophobic comments he made on video about lewis hamilton. and he was just there. in the red bull garage. like nothing was wrong. (this is made infinitely worse by the way that f1 drivers have since been banned from making “political statements” on the track and etc, mostly because lewis in 2020/21 did a bunch of advocating for black lives matter and got some other drivers in on it (he was stopped by the fia for wearing a shirt that said “Justice for Breonna Taylor” and sebastian vettel did some other advocating for the environment and also lgbt community, so they cant really even complain too much about this) 

lewis did though tweet this tweet after that whole incident.

but anyway. qualifying. what was to come of qualifying??

well. let me tell you. 

qualifying was postponed until 7:30am on race day, local time. and the race was moved up to i think 10:30 ??? am? to try and avoid as much weather as possible. which was good progress for f1 cause usually they don't do this. 

it wasn't great for the drivers though who had to be awake at about 4am, barely ate food and jumped into the cars. esteban ocon set his alarm at precisely 4:31.

and george had coffee on an empty stomach. lando had a nutella sandwich. and off they went.

and by off they went i mean, it was still raining. “wetter than a fisherman’s boot” according to crofty.

but they were qualifying.

ollie had never driven an f1 car in the wet before. which he was about to get a whole lot of experience doing.

some drivers though really love the wet. rain at at f1 race, while scary, is sort of a neutralizer because it really comes down to the skill of the driver and not so much the car. george loves the wet (a la spa 2021 when he managed to qualify a shitbox williams in p2) and so does esteban and lewis and max among others.

lance also likes a good wet race. “well hes canadian, lance stroll,” crofty said. “he’s rather good on the ice.”

and to make it extra fun, theres no tire warming blankets for the wet tires to save money, which seems a little counterintuitive, but they don't really get used very often. 

everyone was whipping around, dodging the puddles as best as they could, trying to clear the track of water a little, and we had some interesting people up in the top 5. as in the top five was esteban ocon, fernando alonso, yuki tsnuoda, checo perez, and lance stroll. 

and then, could it be? in this economy? a red flag??? 

it indeed was! and it would not be the last!

it was franco, he had found the wall. he was okay. but the car was not. 

and there was not a lot of time to fix it.

karun took this time to tell everyone that he thought that franco could not possibly get the red bull seat (which was a thing that was being debated hotly in the paddock despite franco saying that he was not in talks for a seat last weekend) because of incidents like this due to his own inexperience. 

crofty brought up a separate but interesting point which was that in all the previous times that we have had qualifying on a sunday, a german has been on pole. 

he is of course, correct. 

japan 2004: michael schumacher

japan 2010: sebastian vettel

australia 2013: sebastian vettel

texas 2015: nico rosberg

japan 2019: sebastian vettel

and there was of course only one german on the grid right now. nico hulkenberg.

“its written in the stars!” crofty proclaimed loudly and to the general annoyance of karun, who did not want there to be a german polesitter this race because then crofty would be “insufferable” about it. 

while they were debating that, the red flag had cleared and everyone went out again. including george russell, who was so impatient to get out that he overtook in the pit lane and despite being impeded a few times, still managed to put his mercedes in p2. 

max got his lap time deleted and was now stuck down in 12th. lewis still needed to get out of the bottom 5 and lando was stuck in 15th. 

everyone had one more lap. 

lewis managed to only go 14th. then got pushed to 15th.

lando managed an okay first sector but needed “a middle and final sector of his life here” in order to clear the elimination zone. and he got a personal best in the middle sector but still only managed to go 14th. he was safe, but lewis was out. along with ollie, franco, nico and guanyu.

(“your run of german poles on a sunday is gone,” karun happily told crofty)

lewis, as could be predicted, was very unhappy with his car. as he should have been. according to crofty he is “one of the top 3 drivers of all time in the wet” and yet. here he was. in the wet. out in q1. 

at the start of q2 it was not actively raining, which was good news. but it was still slippy and people still had on wet tires for the most part. 

george went for a little spin but he was okay. no damage and no walls for him.

carlos was not so lucky. 

he found the barriers. another red flag. 

later he said that he had clearly misjudged the grip.

his crash was pretty big, bigger than francos, and again, theres less than 5 hours until the race. 

everyone was ushered back into the pit lane as the track was cleared and repaired. 

at the time, oscar was leading, followed by george, lance, max, liam, checo, valtteri, fernando, charles and carlos with lanco, pierre, alex, yuki, and esteban in the drop zone. 5:51 to go. 

when they came back on track fernando alonso somehow managed to go fastest. could it be his first pole in over 4000 days???

and as everyone was on their final flying lap, including lando and max and checo, the yellow flags came out. it was lance stroll, he had gone off. 

again, like in the sprint, the cameras did not immediately cut to him. but the announcers said that “i think race control are waiting for these laps to count before calling the red flag.” because several people were on flying laps and it was the end of the session, so it would not be resumed after the red flag.

lando crossed the line. he went fastest. almost immediately the red flag was called. max and checo were unable to finish their flying laps. 

the red flag has had to be called cause lance was in “a dangerous position” 

later, there was a half baked excuse that they thought that lance was trying to get the car moving which was why they did not call the red flag. this, by the way, was the state of lance’s car:

it was clearly not in any state to be driven. 

and yet. it took them 40 whole seconds to call a red flag for this. the previous two red flags were called in under 5 seconds. 

and, need i remind you, that the delay of this red flag allowed for lando to get himself out of the bottom 5 and also knocked max and checo out of the qualifying session. 

now might also be a good time to mention that max had a five place grid penalty for changing his power unit. so he would be starting all the way down in seventeenth. 

and he was fucking pissed. 

because remember. the 40 second delay of this red flag allowed Everyone to finish their flying lap Except for max and checo. so q2 ended with lando in first, followed by fernando, oscar, liam, alex, charles, esteban, george, lance, and yuki with valtteri, max, checo, carlos and pierre all getting eliminated. 

also this is a very very valid safety complaint. it should not take that long for a red flag to be called when the car is not moving, had three clearly broken wheels and is also 15 feet from the track. all the worst accidents in f1 happen when there is a car that is already not moving from an accident or a problem and then it gets hit by another car. there have already been people who have died this way. it does not need to happen again. 

aside from the bs flag call, checo was also pissed at red bull for entirely separate reasons and those reasons were because red bull had waited really long to go out for the final run which was part of the reason why they were not able to finish. 

“cmon guys,” he said over radio. “we gotta do that better…if everyone is already waiting at the end of the pit lane why don't we go?” 

fans were outraged at this. one commented on instagram under a post about the teams qualifying positions “what is checo's garage doing? seriously???” and a red bull mechanic named greg commented underneath it saying “giving him the same tools as max.” then, a second red bull mechanic named charlie commented responded to greg, saying “why you lying for”

so. shit is certainly hitting the fan in more ways than one at red bull. 

but back to qualifying. 

there were no red bulls. which was odd. but we did have nine cars: both mclarens, both rb’s, and one aston, one mercedes, one williams, one ferrari and one alpine. what an interesting mix. 

and it was about to get even more interesting because fernando alonso found a wall. 

another red flag. 

“red flag was much quicker that time,” crofty said. “19 seconds instead of 40.” 

and another wrecked car.

the standing order, with 6:59 left on the clock was lando, alex, oscar, esteban, george, charles, yuki, liam, fernando and lance. 

and the rain could be coming back. 

but there was good news for some people! like alex albon who was, according to crofty “on course for his highest start” as he was currently sitting in p2 rather comfortably. 

and in anticipation for the rain to re start, everyone had already queued up in the pit lane, despite the fact that the track had not yet been green flagged. 

“it’s like the post office on a tuesday morning. you go down to get a box of stamps and they're already queuing up!” crofty said, making absolutely no sense. 

thankfully there was no need to dwell on it because the track went green and they all spilled out again. 

yuki went off and into the gravel, but was able to get out. so there was no red flag. 

that came a few minutes later, for one very, very unfortunate alex albon. 

yes, the same alex albon that had been on course to have his highest ever start. that alex albon. 

and it was a big crash. he ping ponged right across the whole track like a very expensive and very broken ping pong ball. 

he had no idea what happened either. over the radio he asked if the brakes failed. 

and now williams had two very, incredibly broken cars to fix in just about three hours. remember that this team is held together by an excel spreadsheet. 

three minutes, thirty one seconds to go. 

and esteban ocon was seated at the front of the pit lane, waiting. behind him, the remaining six cars still left in the qualifying session from hell. remember this was all before ten am. at least two of them were running on only coffee and nutella. 

“if i were him [esteban ocon], i’d select first gear and then wait ten seconds,” crofty said, speaking about how to impede lando and waste time, who was behind him, when coming out of the pit lane. 

“oh you’re naughty,” karun said. then he went on a rant about how you physically cannot lie to the stewards because they will find out out. he apparently knew this from experience. 

esteban did not impede lando and oscar upon exiting the pit lane. they all came out as they should. 

“glad to see esteban found his first gear no problem and is out on the track,” crofty said. “[this is] quite the day in the championship battle.” 

and that it really was. five red flags, seven cars still standing, max verstappen starting p17, lando finally starting to really close the gap to him in the championship, qualifying at 7:30am on a sunday, race in three hours, rain, back end of a triple header, no one’s been home in a month, and everyone was awake at 4am. 

still, lando managed to improve his time, staying on provisional pole. oscar locked up and didn't finish his lap, he stayed p3. 

liam lawson was gaining. he went second. 

he was then replaced by yuki. for second. 

then esteban ocon pulled out a third, splitting the two racing bulls.

lando extended his pole lap a second time. 

and then george pulled out a p2. 

charles unfortunately did not get in on the p2 fun. he stayed 6th.

and so. 1 hour and 45 minutes and five red flags later, with only barely 3.5 hours to the race. we finally had the starting order of the 2024 brazil gp.

p1: lando norris

p2: george russell

p3: yuki tsnuoda

p4: esteban ocon

p5: liam lawson

p6: charles leclerc

p7: alex albon

p8: oscar piastri

p9: fernando alonso

p10: lance stroll

p11: valtteri bottas

p12: checo perez

p13: carlos sainz

p14: pierre gasly

p15: lewis hamilton 

p16: ollie bearman 

p17: max verstappen

p18: franco colapinto

p19: nico hulkenberg

p20: zhou guanyu

one person wasn’t satisfied with their position and that was charles leclerc. 

“that's p6” his race engineer told him over the radio. 

“that's fucking shit” charles said.

the top three were definitely pleased though.

“a lot going on today,” lando said, accurately. “a little surprised.”

“really pleased to be lining up p2,” george said.  “i loved it [coming in early] to be honest. maybe this is the format for sunday morning.”

“very tricky,” yuki said. “certainly enjoyed it. feels much better than yesterday, good pace.”

yuki also ran into all of his mechanics in victory.

and we got this hilarious picture. 

and i know what you're thinking. did everyone manage to repair their cars in time for the race? 

yes. everyone except for alex albon, that is, who had to withdraw from the race due to significant damage.

what? that was not what you were thinking? 

oh. you want to know if lewis got to drive sennas 1990 mclaren?? 

yeah! he did! before the race! and he did it no handed, in the rain. not to be biased here, but that's my fucking seven time world champion.

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and. finally. without any further ado. the race. or more accurately, the drivers parade. 

charles was standing with pierre and then Yanked his had away from him so that he could shake hands with max. they seemingly developed somehow even more of a soldiers bond here, having a weird unspoken agreement that they were going to stop mclaren at whatever costs, because honestly what else could these two be yapping about, looking like they were teammates? especially when max was one minor inconvenience away from burning down the entire paddock?

meanwhile george and alex were causing all kinds of problems, completely oblivious to the scheming going on around them

and that about sums up the drivers parade. 

onwards. 

to the race. 

it was still slightly raining when the cars all pulled off for their formation lap. and unfortunately that was where the chaos began. 

with lance stroll going off during the formation lap. he then turned out of it and got himself stranded in the gravel after boinking into the wall and was effectively stuck. 

and so there was an aborted start. some drivers, the several at the front, started to go around the track again, but their was confusion from others (like max) if aborted start meant that they did go around again or if they just sat on the grid and waited for the mechanics to come back out. in any case, everyone ended up going around again. 

in the end, it ended up being that lando, the polesitter, was not supposed to go around again. and he did. and a lot of people followed him around. and no one knew if anyone (like his engineer) told him to go around again or he just did it on his own. he was still noted for going, and the whole mess was going to get brought up to the stewards later. 

because what were they supposed to do in that instance? penalize everyone? 

“yet another reason why im glad im not a steward,” karun said.

one thing was for sure and that was that lance definitely should buy his mechanics dinner that night as an apology because they had worked very hard to fix his car only for him to bin it again. (though the car had been in several pieces not too long again and there was a chance something was not connected correctly, he did say later that the car had felt pretty bad to dive in the formation lap) 

this isnt even the first time that a car hasnt completed the formation lap in brazil. just last year charles leclerc crashed on the formation lap due to steering failure. 

once they all arrived back on the grid after formation lap 2 the mechanics came back out and started rechecking the cars and etc while they waited for lance’s car to get cleared. and the mercedes mechanics made a sneaky little adjustment to the tire pressure, hoping that no one would notice. unfortunately, they noticed. 

onto formation lap 3! and thank god! everyone made it this time!

so with 18 cars and a rainy race ahead, lights went out and away they went into lap 1.

george was able to hold onto the lead! 

and at the end of the first lap (which everyone blessedly survived) we had the following order: george, lando, yuki, esteban, charles, liam, oscar, fernando, pierre, lewis, max, franco, ollie, valtteri, nico, guanyu and checo.

that's right. max made up seven places. seven. and lewis had made up five. they were coming. max especially

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checo meanwhile had briefly gone spin, hence why he was now down in last place. 

max passed lewis for 10th, already back into the points by lap 2.

george took the fastest lap on lap 3, already leading by 1.5 seconds. lando took it from him on lap 4. there was no DRS due to the rain, so lando was going to have to pass george the old fashioned style. 

ollie bearman briefly went off the track after a small incident with franco, but he was able to rejoin.

and max passed pierre for 9th on lap 5

and then was up to 8th on lap 6 after passing fernando

meanwhile, along with lando, george, yuki and liam were all also noted for the starting procedure infringement at the beginning of the race. they would have to go with lando to the stewards after the race to hear their fate. meaning that no matter what the outcome of the race was, there was still a chance that they could get slammed with penalties after, so who knew if the real winners would in fact be the winners. 

max, who had followed the rules for the starting procedure, took fastest lap on lap 7 as he started to close the gap to oscar in p7.

lando had started to eat into george’s lead a little, and george was now only .8 seconds ahead. 

and the stewards noted the incident between ollie and franco. ollie received a 10 second penalty for causing a collision. which didn't really make a lot of sense to people as franco didn't really even have any damage.

max was declared to be the fastest man on track, faster than george, as he still zoomed up to the back of oscar. 

meanwhile, lewis’s car had started bouncing, but george seemed unaffected as he took the fastest lap again on lap 10. 

max passed oscar on lap 10, now in 7th. “he came from so far back,” oscar said, entirely not expecting it. 

“max has tremendous confidence,” karun said.

and might i remind you all that it is RAINING

and then he passed liam for 6th on lap 11. unsurprisingly, liam was more compliant with max passing him than he had been with checo passing him in mexico). he was only 2.5 seconds behind charles, who was in p5. he had already made up 11 places in 11 laps in the pouring freaking rain.

lewis was not having as good luck. he went off the track and then got passed by franco. 

“if i was haas i’d be annoyed with the penalty,” the announcers said, referring to ollies 5 second penalty. “nothing is wrong with that williams.”

by lap 15 there was a four way battle brewing for third. yuki, esteban, charles and max. who again i will remind you was 17th a mere 15 laps ago. this performance was starting to put even his 2016 brazil rampage to shame. 

lewis was still not doing nearly as well, he tried to pass franco and failed. 

lando was still in second behind george on lap 17 and said that he was struggling to overtake and that they were slow on the straights. 

and to top it all off. the rain was set to get heavier in 15 minutes time. 

charles, meanwhile, was managing to keep max behind. maybe he had brushed up on his skills since yesterday when max had called him out during the sprint for making so many mistakes over the radio. 

no one had boxed yet. and the rain was starting to come down a little heavier. “getting slippery with these worn tires in the wet” nico said on lap 18. 

and now as we know, its a crapshoot at best figuring out when to box for tires when its not raining. all that gets compounded into a fuckshoot when its raining. because it its expected to rain more soon, you'd want to put on new tires closer to then so that you have a better chance at clearing the water. plus theres always a chance it could get red flagged and then you could get a free pit stop. so the teams needed to get to the point with the big rain and then box for tires and hope that that was the right choice and that no one went off before then.

lando was back to gaining on george on lap 18

and ollie passed lewis for 14th

hamilton was clearly struggling in the mercedes, but george was leading? so was it a lewis problem? was it a car problem?? no one knew

max, meanwhile, was still under a second behind charles, no drs, on lap 20. charles had managed to hold him up for 9 laps and counting, which was a true feat when you remember how many places he has already made up. 

“car’s not driveable mate,” lewis said on lap 21. “locking up, bouncing everywhere.” apparently the mercedes had some kind of a brake problem, but george was managing it just fine. he was still leading. 

on lap 22 max tried to pass charles

charles, clearly, did not let him

“that was charles leclers knowing exactly where max was going to go and defending it a long way out!” karun said.

“he was squeezing me!” max complained. “he didn’t leave a car’s width!” 

no one else seemed to have this view though because the stewards did not note the incident. 

carlos was seemingly having some kind of car problem as he stopped behind ollie and lewis after going off the track briefly. 

and this was all looking like it might be a good time for some new tires. 

by lap 24, with heavier rain rolling in any minute, here were the standings:

george, lando, yuki, esteban, charles, max, liam, oscar, pierre, fernando, nico, ollie, lewis, franco, carlos, checo, valtteri, and guanyu.

the drivers had to make the call for the tires to go to the wets, according to the announcers. its something that the driver has to feel, not really the team, because the driver is the one in the car. 

charles pitted for inters on lap 25.

not full wets, which was interesting (wets have more groves on them, inters have less, and they were about to have a shit load of rain)

lando asked to box to overtake george on lap 26. mclaren wanted him to stay out, despite his protests that he wanted to box for new tires. so he stayed out. 

liam lawson meanwhile went off the track due to contact with oscar. he came back on in 9th.

nico hulkenberg pitted for inters on lap 26

lando was half a second behind george on lap 27

and apparently those inters didn't work too well for nico hulkenberg because he went off track and managed to get stranded on some banking.

a virtual safety car was called on lap 28, though not before esteban ocon managed to pass yuki for third.

again, who knew why it took them so long to call the safety car. 

many people decided to pit. 

oscar, fernando, lewis, ollie, carlos and checo.

and at this point, mercedes was finally reported for adjusting their tire pressure on the grid, which is not allowed! and also very bad news for george should he win the race because usually that behavior results in a disqualification and i don't think that george could handle another dsq after winning this season.

nico hulkenberg, meanwhile, was able to get back on the track

and the virtual safety car ended.

right as george and lando went to pit. which was incredibly unlucky

prior to this, george came on the radio to say that he thought that it was now red flag conditions. and he was probably correct.  

“i think this is going to go red mate,” he said on lap 28. “this should go red. we cant keep a car on the road like this. theres going to be big crashes. theres a big puddle through 4 and 13. there will be a crash there. i think stay out. it should go red.” and that would be good because then george could get his free pit stop and also maintain the lead of the race. 

“understood, understood,” his engineer said. “so box, box.”

“i think, no, its going to go red,” george repeated. 

“box box. box, box. box, box. we need to box,” his engineer said. and so george had no choice but to box. 

someone who didn't box was esteban ocon. he chose to stay out and with both lando and george pitting he was now leading the race on lap 29.

liam lawson and yuki tsnuoda pitted. 

and after all the pit stops, we had:

esteban, max, pierre, george, lando, yuki, charles, oscar, fernando, valtteri, lewis, carlos, checo, ollie, franco, guanyu and nico.

“after a truly awful season,” crofty said. “alpine is 1 and 3.” that they were. somehow. maybe it would stay that way. 

and after all that. lando finally managed to pass george. but only for fourth, not for first. 

and the safety car was deployed for rain.

so now no one could pass anyone. 

esteban ocon had a 7 second lead on max verstappen. 

and franco colapinto took this opportunity to pit for new inters. 

oscar got a 10 second penalty for causing that collision a way long time ago with liam lawson.

and merc were still under investigation for the tire pressure thing.

and then all the others were still under investigation for the start procedure mishap as well. 

at this point, max had gained 15 places. pierre had gained 10. 

and behind the safety car they all pootled along. esteban, max, pierre, lando, george, yuki, charles, oscar, fernando, liam, lewis, valtteri, carlos, checo, ollie, franco, zhou and nico

that was, until franco had a huge crash.

and once again, there was the return of the red flag. 

so now williams had crashed three whole times during the weekend. remember, they have no money and hardly any parts. and the mechanics were distressed beyond belief.  

lando hopped on radio, annoyed with the mclaren strategy error because now everyone at the front (two alpines and max) would get free tires and he would not have the opportunity to get back to the front after they pitted. 

george on the other hand….

“so, red flag, red flag,” his engineer said. 

“fuck!” george cursed. “i fucking said it! shouldve stayed out!”

yuki got a pep talk immediately after getting out of the car from team principal laurent 

and oscar jumped out of his car and immediately apologized to liam lawson for the incident.

“theres a proper variety bag of pick and mix penalties that need investigating,” crofty said. 

including nico hulkenberg who was being investigated for restarting his race after getting assistance from the marshalls pushing him back onto the track

and the results were in. he got a black flag. meaning he fucked up so bad he was disqualified. he was out. and it was the first black flag in 17 years. team haas was really doing it different this year. cause remember kevin got the first race ban in 12 years this season as well.

and ted just happened to watch nico get told this. he felt very awkward about it.

“i cannot watch this anymore, it’s too depressing,” ted said, turning away.

it was then announced that the race would be restarted as a rolling start. in 10 minutes. 

max sprinted down the pitlane. meanwhile george and lewis peacefully scootered. they might still get disqualified for the tire pressure. they didn't seem to care.

george even stopped to get his boots cleaned as he stepped into the car (which yes i know is a thing cause they were wet with water but it looked so funny to see the mechanic wiping his feet like he was a princess)

and alpine, as we know, would be starting 1 and 3. they had not been in the top 5 all season at all whatsoever. 

george did not like that there would be a rolling start. “that’s more dangerous than a standing start,” he said over the radio. 

and carlos thought that they needed 2 or three laps behind the safety car to decide. cause remember it is still very much raining.

but it was officially a rolling start. in six minutes. a rolling start meaning that they wouldnt line up on the grid, they’d go out and do a slow lap and then just zoom! go!

carlos had a problem with his tires as they pulled out onto the track. “ricky,” he said. “these are not new inters. which ones are these? ….hello?” ghosted by his own team.

and they went racing

zhou and bearman ended up in the grass pretty quickly, but they were able to get back on.

lando also went off and came back on just ahead of george. george took the position back.

and charles briefly went off. 

on lap 34 esteban was still leading and had managed to stay 1.5 seconds ahead of max

hamilton overtook alonso for ninth.

ollie went spin spin spin into the barriers on lap 37. he was able to get going again but he had boinked his front wing. which had already been replaced during the red flag.

and yuki suddenly didn't have pace anymore because he was down in 8th. and getting hunted down by lewis.

ollie went off again. “interlagos is really testing him,” crofty said. yeah no shit. prior to this race he had only driven the track once in a video game (not even the sim!) and he has no experience with f1 cars in the wet, much less this much wet.

on lap 39 esteban ocon was still leading by 2.8 seconds now.

and then carlos ended up in the barriers. no red flag, just a safety car. 

he was okay. but he didn't get out of the car. it then became clear that he was trying to get the car out of the barriers before getting out. and thent here was a tractor on track. with a safety car. in the rain. cause that's safe and totally didn't happen at all during the fatal 2015 japanese gp.

it was at this point that they realized that most people who had gone off track had done so because they had gone over the white lines. and remember, the track had just been resurfaced. and despite the anti slip paint, they were still slipping. hm.

also, the last time that alpine had gotten a double podium was back when they were lotus with kimi raikkonen and romain grosjean in 2009 (?)

and, because this race wasn't already interesting enough, there was potential for more rain at the end of the race. 

the safety car ended and they all went racing again on lap 43. ocon, verstappen, gasly, russell, norris, leclerc, piastri, tsnuoda, hamilton, alonso, lawson, perez, bottas, zhou, and bearman. the remaining 15 cars.

and max finally managed to get in the lead. all the way up for 17th place at the grand prix from absolute weather hell. 

lando went off! dropping all the way down to 7th!

meanwhile liam passed fernando for 9th

and fernando went off the track, triggering a brief yellow flag.

max was already 1.5 seconds ahead of ocon. doing what he does best and making a gap. no one had ever won from 17th before at brazil either

and he took the fastest lap too, on lap 45

so our new order was: 

max, esteban, pierre, charles, george, oscar, lando, yuki, liam, checo, lewis, ollie, valtteri, guanyu and fernando 

mclaren popped on the radio with some infamous papaya rules and told oscar and lando to swap positions, so now oscar was in 7th and lando was in 6th, minimizing the damage to the gap that lando had just managed to close in the drivers championship very very minutely. 

charles was noted for rejoining unsafely

and max took another fastest lap on lap 48

“massively impressed with the alpine’s pace in these conditions,” karun said. 

the last time that two french drivers finished on a podium was in 1997 in spain

on lap 50 checo and liam lawson started to battle for ninth. the commentators brought up the ever present talks that checo might not be in f1 next year. 

oscar briefly went off the track, but managed to stay ahead of yuki, who was chasing him down.

and lando, despite the swap, was still quite stuck behind charles, despite having more pace. and we had already seen charles keep max behind for many many laps, so there was no doubt that he would continue to fight with lando. he and max were low key now teammates, after all

and yet, there still might be more rain

checo was still trying to pass liam lawson. he was still failing. 

fifteen laps to go (finally)

max was still leading esteban, pierre, george, charles, lando, oscar, yuki, liam, checo, lewis, ollie, valtteri, guanyu and fernando on lap 55

and checo still could not pass liam

max had an 8 second lead

and even if the race ended up getting red flagged and not resumed for rain, everyone would get full points because the race was more than 75% complete

checo and liam had a minor incident. it was noted. “he drove into the side of me!” liam complained

on lap 57 ted popped on to give his Insignificant and Unnoticed Award of the Day “to fernando alonso, he was 20 seconds down and now hes cut it down and is going to overtake zhou.” 

 max took yet another fastest lap, he was now 10 seconds ahead of ocon

“hes never changed one iota since he came in,” crofty said about max. “sometimes when you get penalized for the same thing over and over you do need to change.” though honestly, max was proving that he really didn't need to change, because he went balls to the wall with confidence unlike any other, and was leading a race he had started in 17th by 10 seconds. in the rain.

and george had managed to get within a second to pierre gasly

if pierre could hold onto third, alpine could jump from 9th to 6th in the constructors championship. which was estimated to be a difference of 50 million dollars in prize money.

lando was told over the radio to go close to leclerc. “i am!” lando said. “what do you think im doing?” 

by lap 63 max was still leading. this time by 13 seconds.

max was set to get 18 points more than lando at this race, and that was before any start penalties that lando might get awarded. 

and he took another fastest lap

on lap 66 max was leading esteban, pierre, george, charles, lando, oscar, yuki, liam, lewis, checo, ollie, valtteri, fernando and zhou

“looking like he [max] will be a 4x world champion and hold off the threat of mclaren,” crofty said.

and then, fernando alonso’s radio crackled to life. 

“i will finish this race for the mechanics, they did a very good job today,” fernando said. “but my back hurts so much, there is so much bouncing. this is not normal.” and he did sound very in pain saying that. this re brought up concerns about the porpoising on the track. lewis had complained about it earlier and its been at no other track this year, meaning that it must be a track thing. meaning further that the track was probably resurfaced badly. because this is not normal. and yes, fernandos been having a terrible time during the triple header. hes been sick, he was in the hospital, he missed media day. this is still not normal though and cant be attributed to that.

lap 68. nearly to the end now. and max was leading by 18 seconds. 

“he’s got more god given talent in a finger than some drivers every have,” karun said,

and meanwhile his teammate was down in 11th, trying to pass lewis for 10th. and failing.

last lap! finally!

and max won by 19 seconds! and he broke the record for most consecutive days leading a championship, breaking the record previously set by michael schumacher. and made it from 17th to first in the rain, despite all odds, in a car that barely worked, no drs, just spite and rage and pure talent. a true world champion

one by one, everyone else crossed the line

p2: esteban ocon

p3: pierre gaslu

p4: george russell

p5: charles leclerc

p6: lando norris

p7: oscar piastri

p8: yuki tsunoda

p9: liam lawson

p10: lewis hamilton

p11: checo perez

p12: ollie bearman

p13: valtteri bottas

p14: fernano alonos

p15: zhou guanyu

“brilliant for alpine today, disastrous for mclaren,” crofty said

max, predictably, was absolutely thrilled saying that it was "SIMPLY LOVELY"

he sprinted to his mechanics, screaming and celebrating everywhere. he kissed kelly. he did not kiss christian. 

this was only the 5th time, in this history of formula 1. 1125 races. that a race had been won from 17th or lower. 

alpine was also thrilled.

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the funniest part was esteba ocon’s radio, where they asked him “did you think we were going to be here?” and he said “funnily enough, no!”

ruben barichello did the post race interviews. 

max said that he “stayed out of trouble, made the right calls.” he had 17 fastest laps. which you can watch here.

and you can watch all of his overtakes here.

esteban was also thrilled. “what a day that was after a difficult season! very happy to be on the podium!” they didn't know that the car would perform this well in the wet. 

and pierre was equally as excited. “its incredibly for the whole team…in these conditions everything was possible. im absolutely buzzing right now….would have been easy to just give up but we never give up.” 

because lets remember where alpine started at the beginning of the season. heaviest car on the grid. and also the slowest. and now, here they were, with a double podium. and scoring the most points out of any team at the brazilian gp (35)  

alpine even made a little graphic, reminding everyone of this:

also, id like to remind you, that pierre and esteban don't really get along. they used to be friends and now theyre not for complex reasons, and they were so overcome by the emotion of their double podium that they effectively ended the french civil war

the cooldown room was quite excitatory. never had we ever seen a podium where everyone was so insanely happy to be there. max said in the cooldown room to esteban that "You were fast. You were so fast I was happy to settle for second."

and of course. we got our dutch national anthem. she was back ladies and gents! she was back!

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and we had the goofiest looking podium selfie

esteban and pierre dropped their champagne bottles down to their mechanics. they celebrated. they were on top of the world.

prior to today, esteban had 5 points. today he scored 18.

“red bull might feel a bit more back in the game,  but they still need 2 drivers,” crofty said. “mclaren are leading by some 46 points.” 

max though, now had a 62 point lead on lando.

and so lets see what our favorite dynamic duo, james hinchcliffe and will buxton, had to say about all of this in the post race show.

“i don't know what we were missing,” james said. “we had everything.” and he was right.

starting off with the fact that max absolutely showed who was boss and now lando has to score 21 points every weekend in order to beat him in the drivers championship. prior to this weekend max hadnt been within 20 seconds of the winner at all in the last ten races. and today he won by almost 20.

and alpine hadnt finished in the top 8 all season!

“i take my hat off to them” will said. “they were 19th and 20th in bahrain, their car was overweight, there was no hope and they got their heads down and they got it done.” 

then we were joined by yuki and liam lawson.

“it was like floating around!” yuki said about the conditions.

“i nearly crashed probably 10 times,” liam said. “i came into the pitlane and i tried to stop nad i wasn't stopping. crazy race.” 

the two of them said that they just didn't have good luck today and got stuck behind others in dirty air. “shame pierre got p3 and they overtook us in the championship,” yuki said. “but we keep going.”

then they examined the start. lando, george and yuki all went for the second formation lap. esteban ocon asked over the radio if he was supposed to say where he was and the tea, said yes. but then they eventually told him to go. james said that this was not great and someone from the team should have reminded the drivers of the procedure. 

lando, george, yuki and liam were all going to see the stewards about the start.

then they moved on to discussing lando. “lando did not have his day when max showed his absolute best,” will said. 

lando said in his own interview that he was “just unlucky with the vsc pit. just that's life sometimes, not talent, just luck….still made a couple of mistakes in the end, little unfortunate….4th was the best anyone who boxed could do.” which, its unclear what hes really talking about here. if hes saying max just had good luck or if he had bad luck. in any case, insane to call a run from 17th to first just luck and not talent. and will buxton agreed.

“verstappen proved once again that he is the best in this sport. to beat the best you need to be better than the best.” and today lando wasn't.

james was in agreement with will, saying that mclaren did make some bad calls and also that max has a habit of putting his car where it doesnt deserve to be

first lando lost to george, then the safety car pit, then his mistakes on track, then he lost position, then he swapped positions and still couldn't get past charles. it was “enough mistakes that it does come down to his driving,” will said. “max was ruthless today. there was no drs and he [still] found it.” 

“doesnt take many mistakes to lose to max” james added.

mclaren also posted one of the strangest post race videos ive ever seen. usually theyre like somewhere in the paddock or whatever. this week they were in what appeared to be a weird dark closet, with lando and oscar only half in frame. oscar sitting on a desk and lando sitting in a spinny chair next to andrea. and it vaguely looked like they were all being held hostage. oscar aso said that “lando has one sock on inside out and that sums up our weekend.”

then they moved on to mercedes. 

“my take is that iv we stayed out we would have been at the front,” george said. “i was pretty angry at the time cause i wanted to say out” because he was confident despite the conditions and thought it would get red flagged. 

by comparison “lewis hamilton looked like he was having a horror show today in the first half,” will said. 

“hes been unsettled with the race car,” james said. “his highlight was before the race even started,” as in driving sennas car. and it was. 

lewis had this to say on instagram about the whole thing

“Grateful for the team and the engineers, we did our best out there but it was a hard race throughout in really tough conditions. This could’ve easily been a weekend to forget but the energy and passion from the fans have made it memorable for me. I still can’t put into words how it felt to drive Ayrton Senna’s car. To share that with this crowd means everything to me. Thank you Brazil for the support and the love. I feel it, even on days like this, and I send it back to you 🇧🇷🫶🏾”

checo, they said “was having a good comeback drive, but then that incident with lawson threw him off.” 

and ollie “equipped himself pretty well.” he said that it was a “tough race…finished p12, quite close to the points…really tough day, learned a lot that's for sure…racing in these conditions the water is quite rare and valuable.” 

will was disappointed in the stewards decision with his 10 second penalty. and they gave him two penalty points as well. 

will tried to also look on the bright side for sauber by saying they could have gotten their first points. 

james was unimpressed by this take.

“i’m trying to out a spin on it, i just want them to get one point this season!” will said. 

they then moved to feranndo alonso, commenting on the amount of pain that he was in at the end. “very 2022,” james said. “havent heard that in awhile, especially with the wet” so it was definitely the track surface itself. 

there was also a clip of fernando getting out of the car post race where he almost needed help from the mechanics.

and they were unimpressed with lance. “he had the ability to get it onto the black and he drove it into the gravel.”

and nico, to them, very obviously got disqualified because he had help from the marshals, something he should have known would happen.

they agreed that it was a tough day for williams. especially losing a place to alpine in the championship.

ferrari also have a “tough day…at the end of two brilliant gps” and charles was “kind of in no mans land today.” 

james agreed. he said they “just never had that spark….salvage what you can kind of weekend.”

“all good things just come to an end,” james said, realistically. 

also on the not having a great day list was oscar. though he thought his penalty was deserved. “it was tricky,” he said. “just trying to stay on track was difficult at some points” 

they also spoke with oliver oakes, the alpine team principal. “big result today,” he said. “we were confident [staying out] was the right chouse but we werent sure [about other peoples choices to stay out]. today is a bug result, doesnt chage what we are doing….gotta stay humble and keep pushing.” 

and alpine were definitely humble about their win

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but they also hula hooped in the trophy

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“i just want to say so many words but i need to calm down first,” pierre said. “unbelieveable, its historical for the team….its been difficult..at the end of the day we never give up…no one thought one alpine could make it onto the podium this year and we made it two…there is so much to say but from p13 to p3 im so happy.” 

and esteban said “i don't know ig we are in reality right now it this is just a dream…my alarm rang this morning at 4:30 and we had no idea….[ive kind of been] thinking when is my rime going to come, if we all had the same car…the cars they level out in some tracks.”

and finally, we had max. “I was very frustrated in qualifying, but tried to use it as motivation in the race….made all the right calls again…was hoping for two points so this is amazing.” he was also asked how driven he was and he said “we had moments, but after that quali where i knew we'd be fast, i nearly destroyed the entire garage. i was barely able to hold myself in. but i started the race very driven. i think i'm the best when i driven, i don't show it an awful lot, but usually yes.”

he was also asked about lando and he said that “if you look a few hours ago it was the other way around…three hard races to go, we need to make no mistakes.” 

so turns out, after all that, max’s quote from earlier in the weekend was correct. he is a three time world champion and he doesnt need to change how he drives. 

this though was too much for the british media to handle and they didn't bother to show up to the press conference. which max called them out on.

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in the end, no one ended up getting penalties from the start and mercedes did not get disqualified. mercedes got fined 5000 euros for each car. and the stewards agreed that "The gate to access the grid was not immediately opened. The FIA accepted that given this short notice it was extremely difficult if not impossible for the teams to follow the procedure prescribed in the technical directive"

which meant. this was our current championship standings. 

for the drivers

max verstappen: 393

lando norris: 331

charles leclerc: 307

oscar piastri: 262

carlos sainz: 244

george russell: 192

lewis hamilton: 190

checo perez: 151

fernando alonso: 62

nico hulkenberg: 31

yuki tsunoda: 28

pierre gasly: 26

lance stroll: 24

esteban ocon: 23

kevin magnussen: 14

alex albon: 12

daniel ricciardo: 12

ollie bearman: 7

franco colapinto: 5

liam lawson: 4

zhou guanyu: 0

logan sergeant: 0

valtteri bottas: 0

and the constructors

mcalren: 593

ferrari: 557

red bull: 544

mercedes: 382

aston martin: 86

alpine: 49

haas: 46

rb: 44

williams: 17

stake: 0

“fun to watch it all, cool to watch it all, but at the end of the day you have to congratulate max verstappen for another championship win,” james said. “by far most dominating performance of the year and one of the most ever.” 

“we leave you with one message resonating louder than ever,” will said, staring directly into the camera. “mess with the bull, you get the horns. we will see you in las vegas.”

the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)

Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2

hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long). 

what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.

the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)

and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!

anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.

but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go. 

first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now. 

what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness: 

george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt

fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.

we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory. 

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nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though

and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.

also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.

he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting

charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.

oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc

max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.

we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago. 

heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:

lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki. 

lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around

george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged

george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something

max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding. 

and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)

and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip

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then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama

haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”

in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.

adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where! 

ferrari? no that would be too obvious. 

mercedes? nah

williams? no too much of a shit show

aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show! 

that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025. 

apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power. 

he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari. 

fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.

by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).

lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:

"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."

mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:

mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical. 

lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….

and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."

max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."

and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can. 

a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile. 

but! there is more! 

daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.

which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.

which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off. 

and with that. the baku lore. 

theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events. 

such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:

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they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that

the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully

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and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.

speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls. 

then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks. 

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but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.

some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right? 

franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying. 

also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say. 

but alas. qualifying. 

i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE. 

so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box. 

max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that. 

slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster) 

charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won. 

and franco has never been to baku before. 

i think that's all the exposition that we need here. 

q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3. 

the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice. 

the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando. 

lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault) 

now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag. 

if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader. 

in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.

and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up. 

q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled. 

in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow” 

and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon. 

max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th. 

and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race. 

steaming on forward to q3. 

we had, for review, in q3 the following: 

both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri. 

right out the gate it was wild. 

“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment. 

everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer. 

here were the standings: 

charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando

and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-

wait a second what is that

could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!

oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk

meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.

and what do you know i have time

so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say

"the williams still has the air box fan in"

"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.

and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:

"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"

alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap. 

franco did tho!

and here were out qualifying results: 

p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex  p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel  p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban 

oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit. 

everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second

onto the race. 

notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.

and so, we head into lap 1.

charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth. 

someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid. 

by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a  spot to nico. 

also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.

and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio. 

yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being. 

franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL. 

lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past. 

george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break. 

on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th. 

and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap. 

several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo. 

“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly. 

mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando. 

and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do? 

they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race. 

remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.

lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits. 

thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo. 

mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!

meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control. 

several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done. 

ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place. 

charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said. 

carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th

this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.

also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.” 

max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not. 

but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”

this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to. 

meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working. 

lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando. 

“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too. 

10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:

oscar

+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george  +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban  +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu 

lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max

at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”

“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct. 

we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.

definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem. 

oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.” 

and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship. 

“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)

meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!! 

but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened. 

what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash. 

the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.

and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:

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but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car. 

which meant 

OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP

and george inherited p3! 

and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit! 

“yes!” he whispered over the radio. 

he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating. 

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he also got driver of the day! 

(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)

gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting. 

george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner” 

charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice. 

oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.

and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!

the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled: 

and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them

(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)

george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium

the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:

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and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran: 

-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management

-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically. 

-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season

-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)

-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red

-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters. 

-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)

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-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now” 

-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.” 

-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram. 

-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.

-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today! 

-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now. 

-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren. 

-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast

and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise. 

see you all soon!!!

[amalia-writes]

could you write a Jeremiah fic? Angsty but fluff at the end?

Finally Yours (Jeremiah Fisher x Reader)

Summary: You are talking to another boy and Jeremiah realizes his feelings for you. You go to a party and things go downhill and feelings are hurt.

Warnings: Swearing, Underage drinking, arguments/yelling, make out session, implied fight, grammar errors.

Here you go! Also I might not post for the next couple of weeks because I’ll be going on vacation! Thank you so much for reading my Conrad x reader one shot!

Jeremiah had no idea what happened, how it happened. How he had started to look at you in a new light, like you were the prettiest girl in the world. He didn’t even know why he started to like you. But he realized he was more aware of how you smiled, or when you’d touch him. He was more aware of all of you.

He knew you had a crush on him, everyone knew you had a crush on him. In fact his mom encouraged him to ask you out on a date but he refused. At the time he didn’t like you like that and he didn’t want to hurt you. He knew you had liked him forever, since you met him back in 3rd grade. But he refused to make any move on you because he didn’t want to lead you on.

But Jeremiah realized he should have. Because there you were, in the pool kissing a guy. Kissing a guy that wasn’t Jeremiah. Jeremiah was watching you and that guy, Ryan or Will. He never remembered and he never cared to remember. He felt an uncomfortable feeling when he looked at the two of you. He was so insanely jealous. But he refused to tell you how he felt, especially after all the people he had been with in front of you. He didn’t want to take away your happiness.

Jeremiah couldn’t look at the two of you being that affectionate in the pool anymore. He had to admit he was watching the two of you for about 10 minutes and those 10 minutes were the most horrible minutes of his life. He wanted to look away but for some reason he was just stuck.

“Oh hey Jere! Do you want to play Mario Kart with me? I’ll definitely beat your ass this time.” Steven said, walking into the kitchen.

Jeremiah cleared his head of his thoughts and ran a hand through his hair. He turned to look at Steven who was staring at him, probably waiting for an answer.

“Maybe later tonight, I think I’m gonna take a nap. I have a major hangover from last nights party.” Jeremiah responded, making up an excuse.

He didn’t even drink last night, in fact he barely even partied because he was too focused on you flirting with that guy. He hated feeling like this. He hated seeing you with a guy.

“Oh no worries man. It’s for the best anyways, I didn’t want to embarrass you.” Steven snickered.

Jeremiah smiled at him mockingly. Before swatting him in the head, causing Steven to mumble a ‘ouch’. Jeremiah laughed at Steven rubbing his head mumbling curses at him. He decided to walk up to his room and lay down for a little bit.

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

You were currently in the pool with a guy named Will. You had met will at the country club and you guys got along almost immediately. You had met will a few weeks ago and since then the two of you had been hanging out almost every day. You both had liked each other romantically and had been slowly getting familiar with each other. But Will hadn’t asked you to be his girlfriend yet. You were a little confused but you didn’t make it a big deal and you were kind of relieved because you weren’t sure you wanted to be in a relationship.

“Y/n are you listening?” Wills voice brought you back to you surroundings.

“Sorry, I zoned out for a minute.” You laughed blushing a little from embarrassment.

Will laughed too and moved closer to you, if that was even possible. He was already so close that your noses were touching. His hand moved to touch your lips and you heard him take a breath in. You noticed him staring at your lips and you couldn’t help but stare at his too. He was a good kisser and he was always so gentle and polite with you. Will moved his head so his lips were just an inch away from yours. This time you were the one who took a breath in.

He was about to kiss you but paused. “Can I kiss you right now?” He asked, his voice barley above a whisper.

You melted, he was so sweet and so kind. You nodded and moved to connect his lips with yours. It was sweet and simple but it was nice. You didn’t have much kissing experience, in fact your first kiss was from Jeremiah who wanted to do the chapstick challenge with you. You only kissed him once because you chickened out after the first kiss.

Will picked you up causing you to wrap your legs around his waist. He had one hand on you waist and the other was on your face. You moved your hands to his neck and tried kissing him deeper, which made Will moan into your mouth. You smiled at that and moved to have one hand run a hand through his hair.

“Oh my god, you guys are literally making out in the middle of the fucking pool! Get a room!” Belly yelled.

You quickly shoved Will away and turned to look at Belly. Belly was standing in her swimsuit next to Conrad who wouldn’t look you in the eye. Which was understandable considering they both just caught you making out with Will.

“Sorry Bells.” You mumbled.

Belly smiled at you finding the situation funny and turned to whisper something in Conrad’s ear. You tried to listen but only heard Jeremiah’s name. Conrad must have found what she said funny because he was laughing too. You tilted your head looking at the two of them but they were too busy laughing so you shrugged it off.

“I actually should go now. Are you gonna go to the party at Shayla’s tonight?” Will turned to you.

“Probably not, I have to do a few things tonight.” You answered.

You weren’t a big party person and tonight you definitely did not want to party. You had a book and a nice cup of hot chocolate waiting for you. Will nodded at you and came over to you to give you a kiss on the cheek before he hopped out of the pool. You also got out of the pool and walk over to the chair where your towel sat.

Belly and Conrad must have been waiting for you before going inside because they were talking with each other while you were drying yourself off. After you had finished drying off you put your towel in the laundry bin outside and walked over to Belly and Conrad.

“Are you guys gonna go to the party tonight?” You asked.

The three of you guys started walking into the house.

Belly answered, “Yeah we are, Steven and Jeremiah are coming along too. You should come it’d be fun.”

You guys had made it into the living room where Steven was playing Mario Kart and all sat down to watch him while he played.

“I don’t know, I mean I already told Will I wasn’t going to go.”

Steven turned to look at you, trying to figure out what was going on.

“Who cares! You can surprise him, plus the both of us can get ready together, it’ll be so much fun!” Belly said. You sighed thinking about it

“Okay, maybe I will go.”

Belly jumped out of her seat and moved over to hug you. You let out a laugh and hugged her back. You looked at the other two boys who had also laughed at Belly’s actions.

“Don’t make me regret this Conklin. You know how much I hate parties.” You warned her still hugging her.

“You won’t regret it. You’ll have such a fun time!” Belly murmured in your shoulder.

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

You were currently getting ready with Belly, you had decided to go to the party because pretty much everyone was going and Belly really wanted you to come along.

Belly was already dressed and was just finishing up her make up, but you had started with make up first, which you were already done with. You were decided on wearing a short red dress that had lace or if you wanted to wear shorts and a white crop top that had flower designs.

“Belly what should I wear?” You asked her pointing to the two outfits. Belly looked at the both of them and then looked back at you.

“Definitely the dress, red looks so good on you!” Belly decided.

You nodded at her and moved to put the dress on. As you were putting the dress on Belly looked at you through the mirror.

“Can i help you, or do you just want to look at this sexy body.” You smirked at her and then let out a laugh.

She smiled and laughed at your joke before looking at you again.

“Can I ask you something?” You nodded at her still changing.

“Do you still have feelings for Jere? I mean now that you’re dating Will.”

“We aren’t dating, he hasn’t even asked me out yet. And I don’t know what to feel about Jere, I mean I’ve liked him forever but I know those feelings will never be reciprocated so I just don’t think it’s worth it.” You mumbled.

“Don’t say that, Jere has a way of surprising people you know.”

You looked at her confused as to why she would say that and right as you were about to say something there was a knock on the door.

“Girls hurry up! Jere already left 30 minutes ago and Conrad’s getting impatient.” Steven yelled through the door.

The two of you looked at each other and giggled. “Okay, we’ll be down in just a second!” The both of you yelled.

You both hurriedly finished putting on your make up and outfits before walking out the door.

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

Jeremiah was at the party getting drunk. He was taking shot after shot. He realized that it probably wasn’t the best thing to but he continued to do it anyways. He wanted one night without you in his head.

He had left earlier than the rest of the group because it gave him a head start and he also wouldn’t be in the same car as you.

He was starting to feel the affect of the alcohol, stumbling around and slurring his speech. Jeremiah was currently playing cup pong with a few people he didn’t know. He had his arm lazily around a girl who he assumed liked him and his other arm was attempting to throw the ping pong ball in the cup.

Jeremiah turned his head and saw you and the others walking over to where he was. And to him you were the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. His eyes traveled up your body and you were wearing the sexiest red dress he had ever seen. It had hugged your body in all the perfect places and it stood a little above your thighs, it was perfect. You were perfect. You noticed him looking at you and you gave him a smile and you were to wave but then saw the girl he was with and turned away.

“S’kcute.” Jeremiah mumbled into the girls ear.

He had attempted to say ‘so cute’ but it came out all jumbled. The girl blushed and smiled at Jeremiah, assuming it was said about her but really, it was about you.

“Should we get out of here?” She responded, a small blue on her cheek.

Jeremiah had thought about it for a second. He wanted to say no but he hadn’t been with anyone in weeks and this was the perfect opportunity for him. Too drunk to say anything Jeremiah just nodded his head. The girl took his hand and lead him away from where they were playing cup pong.

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

You had walked into the party and immediately tried to find Will. After looking around for about 2 minutes you couldn’t find him, but you did find Jeremiah. You saw him and gave him a smile and that’s when you noticed the girl that he was with. He looked so comfortable around her and she was gorgeous. You decided to look away from the two and focus on the party around you. But from the glimpse of your eye you had noticed that Jeremiah was walking with the girl up the stairs.

You turned to Belly and Conrad. Steven had already left to go find Shayla.

“I’m gonna go find Will!” You yelled because the music was a bit too loud.

The two of them nodded and you started to walk away. You decided to check upstairs first because it was quieter up there. You made your way up the stairs and noticed that there were only a few rooms. You checked the first room but it was just a bathroom. Then you checked the other room and noticed it was a bedroom. It was dark in the bedroom and hard for you two see but you could make out 2 silhouettes on the bed, and to you it looked like they were kissing.

You had become flustered after realizing what was going on and stood there in shock for a second. Right as you were about to leave the two people turned.

“Yo dude there’s this thing called knocking!” The guy yelled.

You perked up at the sound of his voice. His voice was familiar to you but you couldn’t quite place where you knew him from. And then it dawned on you. That was Will, no wonder his voice sounded so familiar. Your heart beat a little quicker and your palms became a little sweatier.

“Will?” Your voice quivered. You prayed to god that it wasn’t him. He was so sweet, so nice, there’s no way he’d do that to you.

“Y/n?” The voice responded.

Your heart dropped.

You couldn’t breathe. Everything hurt. You weren’t even dating but he had been one of the first guys to like you, to actually like you. You felt tears forming in your eyes and couldn’t help but let out a small sob.

Realizing you were still in the bedroom with Will and the girl, you ran out.

“Y/n! Please, please wait!” Will yelled as you were running away.

He grabbed you before you were able to get too far.

“Y/n please.”

You pulled away from him, slapping him on the cheek.

“Don’t, I hate you and I cannot talk to you right now.” You yelled anger in your voice.

You walked away as Will stood there not following you.

You were sobbing now, aware of the people staring as you shoved pass them. But you were too hurt to care. You wanted to find Jeremiah. Jeremiah was the one who’d cheer you up all the time.

You were still crying but it wasn’t as intense as before and you were still looking for Jeremiah. You made your way outside, people still looking your way. You ignored the whispers and the looks and walk over to the sitting area outside. You had searched for Jeremiah in the sea of people, before realizing he was right in front of you. Three feet away from you.

And somehow, some fucking how. Your night had become ten times worse. There he was, kissing a girl, his hand on her thigh, hers in his hair. The tears came back, stronger than before. How did this hurt more than Will kissing that girl?

You knew the answer, but you refused to admit it. You hadn’t realized but you were sobbing, loudly. Jeremiah broke the kiss with the girl. His head moving to the side where you stood crying. You noticed his eyes widened and he stood up ignoring the girl completely.

Now everyone was watching you. How could they not? You were crying in front of everyone but all you could focus on was Jeremiah. The Jeremiah who you had always had feelings for. You knew it wasn’t out of character for him to kiss someone. In fact it was so normal for him to go off with people all the time. But for some reason, it stung so much more in this moment.

“Y/n, what’s wrong?” Jeremiah softly spoke. Stepping closer to you. He was completely sober now.

You stepped back. Him asking you that made you cry hard. But you didn’t want to be near him, to look at him, or for him to see you cry. You were embarrassed but the tears wouldn’t stop. You closed your eyes in frustration, trying to find your voice.

“N-nothing is wrong.” Your voice cracked, of course it did.

Jeremiah’s eyebrows furrowed, eyes full of concern for the girl crying in front of him. “Don’t lie to me.”

You scoffed, you were more angry than upset now. The weight of the things that have happened in the span of 10 minutes all coming down on you.

“I’m not lying, I’m just gonna go home. Sorry for interrupting your fuck session.” You spat.

You turned around walking off. People whispering about your little outburst. You didn’t look at them, you were too ashamed, too embarrassed. You made your way out to the front yard, realizing that you had to find Belly, Conrad, and Steven. Because they were your ride home.

You yelled in frustration, throwing a rock into the green lawn in front of you. How had everything gone to shit in one night? You swore the world was against you.

“Y/n?” You heard a voice behind you. And you immediately knew whose voice it was. You didn’t turn around. You didn’t want to turn around.

“What do you want Jeremiah?” You whispered, voice shaky.

“Are you okay?” You heard his foot steps move closer from behind you.

You wrapped your arms around yourself. “I already told you I’m fine.”

Jeremiah scoffed. “No you’re not, and I already told you not to lie to me.”

You turned eyes narrowing at him. “Well maybe I just don’t want to talk to you right now!”

His eyes widened in shock and you immediately felt bad.

“Seriously, what’s up with you? Why are you acting like this? You’re acting like a-” Jeremiah snapped his mouth shut before finishing his sentence. Eyes widened again.

Your stomach twisted. You knew what he was about to say. You knew that were acting like one, but you never thought he’d say that to you. You glared at him.

“Like a what Jeremiah? Why don’t you just finish that sentence?“ you spoke bitterly, your voice still shaky. “We both knew what you were about to say! If that’s what you think about me, say it!”

“Stop yelling at me!” His eyes softened, “I-I didn’t mean it.”

He stepped closer, causing you to step back. You were so upset at him. You were so upset at everything. You were hurting so bad right now, but you didn’t know how to not turn it into anger.

“Sure you didn’t.”

“Y/n talk to me.” He whispered.

You had contemplated and were about to say something, but you looked at the front door and saw Jeremiah’s fuck buddy leaning against the door. She was looking at you and when she had noticed you looking at her she walked down, next to Jeremiah.

“Jere, let’s continue what we started, she obviously wants to be left alone.”

Her arms wrapped around his neck, her whole front side pressed against his backside. You glared at them and felt your stomach twist again. You focused on Jeremiah, and he hadn’t even pushed her away.

“Yes Jeremiah, why don’t you go fuck her right now? I’m fine alone.” Jealousy built up in you.

You looked him in the eye and your heart broke. He was upset. You wanted to apologize, but your pride was too strong. Jeremiah pushed the girl off of him and walked away from the two of you.

“Hey! What the hell was that for!” The girl yelled at him throwing her arms in the air.

You were frozen, you had been horrible to Jeremiah. You were so angry at Will and Jeremiah and you had taken it out on him. You didn’t even have the right to be angry over Jeremiah. He had never liked you, your feelings were never reciprocated.

You felt the tears come back again. You were sure Jeremiah could never forgive you. You fell to the ground, torn and upset.

Belly and Conrad came outside. Belly had immediately sat down with you and hugged you, allowing you to cry in her shoulder while she whispered things to you. Conrad had gone back inside to get the keys from Steven. Tonight was a horrible night. The conclusion that you came to was that you were a terrible person. You never acted this way. Especially not towards Jeremiah, you never even had a serious fight with him.

Conrad eventually came out of the house with the keys. He had to pick you up and take you to the car because you were that sad.

❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀ ❀

Light streamed through your open window. Your eyes had opened up and you had immediately closed them. Your head was pounding and your eyes were probably red and swollen. You turned to your side and checked the time to see that it was 12:00 pm. You closed your eyes and sighed. You didn’t want to leave your room. You were sure everyone would be incredibly concerned for you and you didn’t want to face them, face him.

You heard a knock on the door and a second later it opened. You glanced at who it was and it was Laurel. She had a glass of water and a pill in hand. She had given you a soft smile and walked into your room, sitting on your bed.

“Hey sweetie, take this.” She handed you the pill and water.

You sat up and quickly swallowed the pill and had some water. Laurels hand came over your face to move a strand of hair out of your face.

“How are you doing? I heard you had a rough night.”

You didn’t answer her verbally, and instead gave her a shrug looking away from her. In your peripheral vision you saw her frown. You were so scared for the consequences of your actions. You had fucked up.

“Jeremiah told us what happened, do you want to talk about it?” She murmured.

You wanted to cry but tears wouldn’t come out. You were sure it was because you used up all the tears you had last night and the fact you were probably dehydrated. Laurel gave you a hug and a tight squeeze with it.

“I messed up, Jere is never going to forgive me.” You whispered.

Laurel pulled away from your hug and frowned, rubbing your shoulders. “No sweetie, you were hurt, we all make mistakes. Belly told us what caused you to act that way. They’re all worried for you. Even Jeremiah.”

“I was so mean to him, I-I treated him like shit. I was jealous and angry and- and I was so so hurt.” Your voice cracked and Laurel gave you another hug.

“He’s going to forgive you. You’re y/n and he’s Jeremiah. He has a soft spot for you.”

You shook your head, even though tears weren’t coming out your body wracked with sobs. You hated this feeling. Hated how you treated your best friend like shit.

Laurel pet your hair in a soothing manner. Humming to you until you calmed down. You were so thankful for her.

“How about you come down for lunch hm?” Laurel spoke grabbing both of your shoulders.

“I’d rather stay up here and mope.”

Laurel let out a small laugh and you along with her. She understood and didn’t push you or anything. She gave you a kiss on the head before standing up and walking to the door. She opened the door but didn’t walk out of it.

“It’s going to be okay y/n, I’ll save you some extra food in case you decide to come down.” Laurel smiled softly before walking out.

You had felt better, but you wanted to delay talking to Jeremiah for as long as possible. You knew you’d talk to him sometime today but you didn’t want to right at this moment. You needed time for yourself, to think and regret your actions.

You laid in bed, staring at your ceiling for about fifteen minutes before another knock came from your door. You sat up ninety percent sure that it was Belly or Conrad. You pat your hair down and made sure you looked halfway decent.

“Come in!” You yelled.

The door opened slowly and you saw who it was. You sat up a little straighter and became nervous almost instantly.

Jeremiah walked in, looking down at the floor. He closed the door behind him, took a deep breathe, and made the decision to look at you. You noticed he had eye bags and a little cut and bruise on his face. He looked nervous, almost as nervous as you.

“Hi.” He said, still staring at you.

“Hi.” You responded giving him a small smile.

He didn’t smile back but he seemed a little relieved. He made his way to the chair next to your bed. You didn’t know what to say and from the look on his face neither did he.

“Jere, I-I’m so so sorry. The way I acted towards you last night was not okay in the slightest.” You breathed out.

Jeremiah stared at you for a minute, probably processing your words.

“Y/n I forgive you, but why? Why did you act so hostile towards me, what did I do?” Jeremiah whispered, he sounded upset.

“It’s nothing you did, it was Will and then when I saw you with that girl, I don’t know I guess I was just jealous or something and took it all out on you.” You rambled.

Your eyes widened when you realized what you said. You had noticed that Jeremiah’s head perked up.

“Jealous, why would you be jealous?” He questioned leaning forward a bit.

“You know why.” You mumbled avoiding eye contact.

“Y/n, do you,” he paused. “do you still like me?”

You looked at him again, flustered and embarrassed. Jeremiah tilted his head to the side waiting for your answer.

“That’s not the point of this conversation. I’m really sorry Jeremiah. I should have taken my feelings towards Will out on you, it was childish and stupid.” You changed the subject.

Jeremiah stared at you frowning. You didn’t want to look at him. His gaze was so intense and you had no intention of confessing your feelings out loud to him.

“What if I told you, that I was jealous too.”

Your heart dropped and your stomach had butterflies. You turned to look at him, wanting to make sure he was real, this conversation was real.

“Whenever you were with Will, I was so jealous and I hated seeing you with him. I was only with that girl to stop thinking about you. So please, please say it for me.” Jeremiah had gotten up and was standing a foot away from you.

Your heart was beating so quickly. Jeremiah has feelings for you. The Jeremiah who you’ve been pinning for, for years. Jeremiah now sat on your bed. He was waiting for your response.

“You make me crazy Jeremiah. Everything you do and everything about you makes me crazy. When it comes to you logic goes out the window. And it’s because I love you, I’ve loved you since the moment I met you.” You told him, playing with your hands.

Jeremiah’s eyes lit up and gave you a big smile. You let out a small laugh because he was so cute. Jeremiah moved closer to you so now he was sitting next to you on the bed. You turned to look at him both of you smiling big. His hand moved to cup your cheek rubbing it with his thumb.

“I love you.”

You started to tear up, overwhelmed by the fact that your feelings were reciprocated. Jeremiah loved you, you y/n l/n. Jeremiah leaned his head against yours. He looked at your lips and back at your eyes, almost asking for approval to kiss you. You nodded and he didn’t have a chance to react because you had already moved to kiss him. And it was everything you had wanted and more. It was soft and it was sweet.

Jeremiah pulled away and moved to kiss your cheeks.“I love you, I love you, I love you.” was all he was saying to you as he kissed your head, your nose, and your mouth.

You pulled away from him and the both of you laid down. You leaned your head on his chest and he had wrapped his arm around your waist. You craned your neck to look at him.

“How did you get that cut and bruise?” You asked pointing to it.

He blushed and looked a way from you.

“I beat up will.”

You gasped. “You’re lying!”

He shook his head no. You flung your arms around him.

“Thank you for that. Even though I don’t promote violence, I appreciate it.” You mumbled into his neck.

He wrapped his arms around you and kissed you on the head.

“I’ll do anything for you.”

You smiled in his neck and hummed in delight.

“We should go down so you can eat. You haven’t eaten since before the party.” He stated.

“I want to stay like this for a few minutes.” You muttered.

He laughed but didn’t make a move to get up. You were happy with the way things turned out. You were happy that Jeremiah was finally yours and you his.

[panda-writes-kpop]

Rosè x Fem! Reader - The Girl Next Door (Requested!)

A/N: Hi guys, girls, and non-binary pearls! Hope you all are doing well! 💞

Masterlist

TW: IMPLIED FEM! READER, heartache and implied breakup, reader is kind of a jerkwad, angst with a happy ending :)

Love is rough. Rosè knows this; she’s seen the strongest relationships crumble right in front of her eyes. It’s hard to get close to someone, to let them into your heart, when you realize that they’ll just break your heart again and again.

Tears stream down her face as she tosses her phone to the other side of the couch.

We’re done this time… I know I said that last time, but I can’t keep letting them hurt me over and over again.

One phone call was enough to shatter Rose’s delicate heart into a million pieces. Ready for a wonderful night-in with her partner, Rosè wore her finest pajamas with the award-winning smile that everyone seemed to adore.

Well, almost everyone.

A knock on her door causes Rosè to stand up.

“I’ll be there in a moment!”

She quickly wipes the tears from her face as she rushes to answer the door.

As the door opens, the familiar sight of you in a leather jacket with that stupid beanie that covers your head. Rosè manages to give you a warm smile despite the mascara stains on her face.

Ah, it’s just Y/N. I don’t know whether to be relieved or concerned.

You sigh before holding out a bag of food. Rose’s smile fades as she realizes the reason for your appearance at her front door.

“There was a delivery man who kept knocking on your door. He kept knocking and waiting for you to answer, and since he was interrupting my jam session with his constant noise, I decided to just grab the food and pay him extra to leave us both alone. Here’s your food, and don’t bother paying me back. I don’t really need the money anyways.” You shrug before waiting for Rosè to grab the food from you.

Rosè found you to be… odd. You were on the quiet side, and you didn’t tend to leave your house much except to get the mail or to pick up food. You weren’t exactly the friendly type, which was something that Rosè quickly found out when she moved next door to you.

~

Rosè excitedly knocked on the door with a basket of baked goods in her hands. This was her first time meeting her neighbors since she moved in, and the prospect of making new friends thrilled her.

As the door opened, a weird mixture of Old Spice, stale pizza, and newly printed books hit her nose. You entered her view after the door is nearly opened all of the way.

“Whatever you’re selling, I don’t want.”

Rosè softly chuckled. “No, no, I’m not a saleswoman. I was trying to-”

“Don’t tell me you’re one of those weird religious people. How many times do I have to tell you, I don’t want to be in your cult!”

“Please just listen to me!” Rosè yelled before shyly backing off. “I moved in next door, and I brought a gift with me.”

You cautiously inspected the basket in her hands before gently grabbing it from her.

“Oh… thanks. I don’t really get around to baking these days.”

You then closed the door in Rosè’s face before she could get another word in.

~

“Rosè? Are you even listening to me?” You wave a hand in front of her face as Rosè focuses back on the present. “Listen, I can see you’re having a rough day, and in order to not invade your privacy or make things worse, I’ll just drop off this food and head back home.”

You shove the food into her arms, and you turn around to exit her home.

“Please stay.” Rosè softly mumbles.

God, I sound so desperate, but I need to talk to someone about what’s been happening. I haven’t felt truly heard or seen in such a long time.

You turn back around to face Rosè.

“What?”

Rosè shivers slightly as you make direct eye contact with her.

“Can you stay? I know we’re not close but-”

“I can stay for a little bit. I guess my music can go without me for a little while longer.” You joke.

Rosè stays silent before stepping out of your way.

“No laughs? Wow, it must’ve been a really bad day.” You say as Rosè blankly stares at you.

You take the food from her hands before heading to her kitchen. As you hum to yourself while grabbing plates, Rosè feels her heart skip a beat.

You weren’t as cold and unfeeling as you made yourself seem. The girl who sneered at others whenever they tried to make small talk was not the same girl who offered to accompany Rosè on the worst night of her life.

“Are you coming, or am I going to have to eat all of this food myself?” You tease while holding a sandwich in your hand.

Rosè laughs before giving you a genuine smile.

“I’ll be right there!”

For the first time, you crack a small smile at Rosè’s sudden enthusiasm.

Perhaps I misjudged you after all, Y/N.

[thortwenty151]

Here, I’ll start.

that whole stoic warrior-Viking-king thing is not exactly something he’s good at, yeah? Like very rarely can you not really tell what Thor is thinking - and when you can’t it’s usually because he’s dissociating

Speaking of which,

I can pick out instances in every single movie where Thor dissociates for a fairly extended period of time, to the point of tuning out anything going on around him (he’s able to pull himself back in - sorry idk what the term might be, that’s what I use for my own dissociative eps - when he’s significantly prompted to, but it takes a bit)

Thor was never taught how to fail. Like. Ever. In not only tales of asgard but also multiple comics it’s not just implied but outright stated that Thor’s sparring sessions etc are meant to end in his victory each time. He’s allowed to win every time, because Odin doesn’t want him to be seen as weak in any capacity. It is staggering that Thor has no idea how to experience defeat healthily.

For someone who was awwwwfullllly judgey about Valkyrie’s drinking, he sure doesn’t seem to have any trouble doing it himself. Though maybe that’s one of those “I see myself in this and so I’m rejecting it entirely because it doesn’t Work with my image of myself” things… - this is something to come back to, I need to think about it a little more in the context of the film - is it a hindsight for the audience thing or is it something you (aka me) could read into those scenes subtextually. Okay, putting a pin in that.

His relationship with Valkyrie in general is pretty fascinating. He’s definitely into women who could and would peg him. She’s like, I want nothing to do with you or your messed up family and Thor does the big blue puppy eyes and clumsily grows on her and all of a sudden she’s like I’ve Known Thor For Five Minutes and If Anything Happened to Him I Would Kill All of You and Then Myself

This is true of basically everyone who meets him tbf

Which makes it even more frustrating that there’s no really decent answer to the whole not checking on him for five years thing

Which is why I want to write this fic - because Thor outright rejecting any attempts to help makes, idk, SORT of sense, but then he’s thrilled to see Bruce and Rocket so idk

Tony and Bruce hung out during the Blip like was there a time one of them was like, hey we should invite Thor down here, it’s probably cold in Norway this time of year and yeah he’s good at layering but still, and the other one was like, ehhhh he’s kind of been a huge bummer ever since that Thanos thing

Anyways the point is I want them to have tried to help, and I want Thor to try doing that stoic warrior-Viking-king thing and fail miserably because he’s bad at it but he can’t show any more weakness, he already feels weak and vulnerable and alone and he’s sure as hell not going to talk to anybody about it until he absolutely has no other choice

Everything is fine! I’m having so much fun just hanging out! I have no path! I have no family! I have no purpose! Nothing matters so I’m just enjoying myself! Oh, nah, I’m good not leaving my house, or brushing my hair, or doing laundry, or taking a shower, or being sober, or wearing shoes. I might never do any of those things again! Haha! We’re having a great time!

Like come on bro

But then that makes it really hard to talk to him because he’s totally shut down, absolutely broken into pieces, and now he’s just kind of in the dirt playing with the pieces and pretending it’s okay they’re all broken

But it can’t last

He can’t pretend forever

Something has to give eventually

Currently listening to tool and trying to write a “5 times people tried to help Thor and 1 time he actually admitted he needed it” fic and failing like a thunder god aiming for the chest.

Who wants to have overly serious meta discussions about Thor’s mental health and substance abuse so I can plow through this idea? Thx.

[errythinisblue]

Hey , i love what you write can you do one where mason lost his engagement ring and you thought he was cheating on you

Thank you ❤️

Hey! Thank you so much for your sweet words, they really mean so much!!! <3 anyway, here's what I wrote down for your request! I hope you'll like it!!! <3

The ring I promised you 'forever' with.

Mason Mount x Y/N

Summary: What happens when Mason loses his engagement ring? What will he tell you? And what will you think about it, once you see he's not wearing his ring?

Warnings: none.

Mason proposed to you on your last birthday, thinking that there couldn’t be a better birthday present than the promise of 'forever' with the one you love. Everything was so perfect, from the simple diamond ring to the intimate atmosphere, only your closer friends and families were there. Not to mention him, the love of your life, the only man you could actually see yourself sharing a life with.

The both of you were so ecstatic at the idea of ‘forever’ that four months later you were already married to each other. Life with him was so good, even before the wedding, when you two were already living together. And now you were so glad that you had such a caring and loving husband. You felt so safe with him by your side. Even during the times where life with him wasn’t easy, his job requiring a lot of his time and energy, you always found a way to make things work, always making time for each other to talk about the things that were bothering the both of you.

As you were making dinner for the two of you, you heard the door open, telling you that Mason was back from his afternoon training session.

“Baby I’m home!...” he told you while he put his duffel bag on the floor near the door, “Shit…uhm babe I-I need to go back to the training centre, I left something there! I’ll be back soon!” he said as he was already out of your house.

“Okay?” you whispered to yourself, frowning. What could be so important to drive all the way back to the sports centre? You really couldn’t understand Mason’s behavior.

He came back an hour and a half later to a cold dinner and an upset wife. He found you on the sofa, a worried expression on your face since he didn’t pick up his phone when you called him to know how long it would take him to get back.

“Hey what happened?” he crouched down in front of you, putting his hands on your thighs.

“Why didn’t you pick up your phone Mase?? I was worried sick…” you told him, looking down to take his hands in yours, “Wait where’s your ring?”

“Oh it’s in my bag, I’ll put it on later… Now let’s eat, I’m starving!” he nervously told you, a panicked expression on his features.

He stood up from his previous position, not even giving you the time to properly greet him with a kiss.

Something just wasn’t adding up to you, it has been a few days since he started being a little distant with you. You didn’t think too much about it, it was a stressful moment for him and you didn’t want to put another weigh on his shoulders to carry, he had more than enough already.

But right now you were starting to get worried. ‘Could he be cheating on me?’ you thought, shaking your head as soon as this thought ran through your mind. You didn’t even want to think about it, as you abruptly stood up from the sofa and made your way to the kitchen.

-

The day after you woke up in an empty bed, sighing to yourself.

What you didn’t know was that Mason woke up in a haste, wanting to make his way to the training centre as soon as he could. He lost his wedding ring and he didn’t even know how it was possible! He was sure he left it in his locker in the changing rooms as he always did. But as he looked in it, just as he did the night before too, there was no trace of his golden ring.

“Fuck!” he slammed the locker shut, “where the hell did I put it??” he asked himself as he put his hands in his hair.

He looked in his duffel bag once again, but nothing. He was clearly getting annoyed with himself now, how could he lose his ring, the ring you gave him on your wedding day?

As the others were starting to make their way in the changing rooms, Mason decided that after training he would ask to the boys if any of them saw it. Now it was time for training, he had to stay focused.

-

Another day went by and still no sign of a ring on Mason’s hand. You were so worried and anxious you wanted to cry. The thought of him cheating on you was taking up more space in your head each day it passed without that ring on his hand. And without a word from him. He was always too busy to even talk to you, always so preoccupied with training and always spending time with the boys at the training centre.

This situation was making you go crazy. You didn’t know what was going on, and Mason didn’t really seem keen on giving you some kind of explanation.

But Mason didn’t really know what to tell you, how are you supposed to tell your wife that you lost your engagement ring? It was such a big deal to him, he was actually afraid to tell you about it.

As he sat on the bench in front of his locker, thinking about a way to tell you, someone opened the door of the changing rooms, making Mason’s head shot up.

“Hey what are you still doing here brother??” Ben asked his friend, limping his way to seat near him.

“Hey… it’s so nice to see you here, what did you came here for?” Mason asked him, his voice sounding nervous even to Ben’s ears.

“I’m here to talk with Tuchel, he told me he wanted to see me when I was here the other day. What’s that face for??” he asked his friend, keeping a smile from appearing on his face, sensing where the conversation was headed, “What happened?”

“I-I lost my ring Chilly… man I really don’t know how to tell Y/N about this!” Mason was too preoccupied to notice Ben keeping his laughter in, “It’s been four months since our wedding and I’m a such shitty husband already! You should have seen her face when she saw I didn’t have the ring on…she looked so disappointed and sad…” he was clearly on the verge of tears.

It was then that Ben took something out from his jeans pocket, taking Mason’s hand in his and putting the thing in his hand. When Mason opened his hand he saw his ring, and he stood up in the blink of an eye. He immediately put his ring on his ring finger, feeling complete once again.

“I found it on the floor the other day, while you guys were training�� Ben started explaining, “I took it and I thought I could prank you with it, making you sweat a little before giving it back to you… But I didn’t know you were actually so worried about it, I’m sorry…” he scratched the back of his neck.

“Of course I was worried about it, it’s my wedding ring you dumbass!” he raised his hands in the air, “I really wanna punch you right now!” he told Ben almost smiling, relieved he found his ring.

“Please don’t!” he laughed, “I already have my knee to worry about, don’t make things worse!”

“I’m not gonna touch you, but only because we need you back as soon as possible!” Mason wrapped one of his arms around his friend’s shoulder, breathing a laugh through his nose.

“C’mon let’s get out of here…” Ben hugged him back, as they were making their way out.

-

“Hey love I’m back!” you heard Mason say from downstairs. You were laying in your shared bed, under the covers, crying your eyes out. You were going to ask Mason if he really was cheating on you, you couldn’t live with this doubt in your head as it was devastating you. And you had to do it even if you weren’t sure if you’d like to know the answer.

Once Mason made his way into your bedroom and found you wrapped up in the duvet he got worried.

“Hey, are you okay baby? Are you feeling sick??” he lied down next to you, caressing your head with his hand. His touch made a sob escape your mouth, you were now unable to keep your tears at bay.

“Hey why are you crying?? Baby what’s wrong??” he sounded panicked, his voice was so pained upon hearing your cry.

You came out of your cocoon, turning your body towards Mason, wiping your face with the palm of your hands.

“A-are you cheating on me?” you asked him abruptly. You voice was hoarse from crying, your eyes bloodshot. Mason’s heart broke upon seeing you like this.

“What?? What are you talking about baby??” he took your face in his big hands, searching for your eyes.

“It’s a simple question Mason. Are you cheating on me?” you asked him once again, clearly getting frustrated at the situation.

“Y/N/N no, I’m not cheating on you! I would never do that!” he looked so broken, so sad, “I love you so much babygirl, how could I ever cheat on you?”

“Why aren’t you wearing your ring then? Is it still in your bag??” you asked him as you clearly didn’t believe his words from the other day. Your nerves had you crying again, as you felt the tension in your body.

“No, it’s where is supposed to be baby, look.” he told you as he showed you his hand, “do you wanna hear why I wasn’t wearing it now?”

You stopped crying when you saw the ring on his ring finger, becoming interested in what he had to tell you. You wiped your tear stained face once again and looked at him, nodding your head.

“C’mere…” he took you in his arms, making you rest your head on his chest, “do you remember when the other day I told you I forgot something at the training centre?”

“Mh mh…” you hummed with your face in his neck, breathing in his scent that was already making you feel calmer.

“Well it was my ring…” he sheepishly admitted.

“What??” you didn’t know if you should be laughing or be angry at what you were hearing.

“Wait, wait let me explain!” he cut you off, he wanted to tell you exactly how things went, “I thought I had put it in my locker, but I was wrong. I was in a hurry and I put the ring in my bag instead. It fell from the pocket and I didn’t notice. Then Chilly being Chilly, found it and decided that it was a good idea to keep the ring to himself to prank me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me??” you asked him once you heard the whole story, “and by the way, what was Ben doing at the centre??” you laughed, thinking back at the prank he pulled on Mason.

“I didn’t want to disappoint you, I didn’t want you to think that I’m a shitty husband… it was such a big deal for me not being able to find it and all…” he confessed.

“I will never think you’re a shitty husband Mase, maybe a cheating one… but shitty? Never.” it was your turn to take his face in your hands. You wanted him to hear your words loud and clear.

“Why’d you think I was cheating?...” he softly asked you then.

“I don’t know really… you seemed so distant, so distracted. You barely talked to me in the last few days. And you weren’t wearing your ring… I went mental, I’m sorry for that…”

Mason hummed in response, kissing your lips tenderly, tasting the salt of your tears still on them.

“…please, the next time this happens talk to me… please.” you begged him.

“I will,” he kissed you on your forehead this time, “but I really hope it doesn’t happen again, I don’t wanna lose the ring I promised you ‘forever’ with ever again.”