#i wouldn't be surprised if that was an existing sentiment
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scintillating-scales · 7 days ago
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I mentioned my hoard of fucking Magic cards, but I got a ton of them for Christmas and I have been LORDING over them. Neatly organizing and reorganizing based on set, slotting them in all nice and pretty, thinking about sorting them even more...
What a JOKE. Why these accursed slips of cardboard became a hoard item will forever elude me. I feel like such a nerd (/neg) of a dragon.
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gurorori · 11 months ago
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if you say shit like 'autism is not a disability' i hope you actually have really bad things happen to you and you are banned from the autism community for the foreseeable future. get another fun weird club if you so badly need one
so profoundly tired of people trying to make autism into this whimsical quirkiness when it's for most people a serious and debilitating life altering disorder
#im not even that high on the needs spectrum at all. i definitely need a lot of support but it doesn't nearly compare to hsn autistics for ex#but our autism have never been masked and it's always been apparent in obvious ways that stunted our social and personal development#we can't mask at all it's not an option to us. we are disturbing in person. we talk weirdly. we are monotone with very rare exceptions.#we do not understand the overwhelming majority of very important social cues and we can't pretend or mask that#we've always been singled out and our impairment has ostracized us from peers our entire life#especially with the struggle of getting daily tasks done. we are JUST a little more independent with things than we were as a kid#i always talk about not feeling like an adult and being stuck in kid (teen at best!) like mindset and abilities and understanding of things#that is autism too. we are stunted and disabled developmentally in many ways as a result and we were never on par with others of our age#and we will never be.#i hate this sentiment so much and i hate the 'disabilities wouldn't exist if society was perfect at accomodating us all to a T'#like yeah surely our violent outbursts and shutdowns and intense stimming wouldn't exist? our need to regulate stimuli#our Inability to regulate emotion or response to overstimulation?#like holy shit if you're autism lite jsut say that. some of us are actually significantly impaired and very much DISABLED and require#support to function. and surprise surprise some autistics need help with every step in their daily life. are they not disabled? fucker
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stick2vamp · 5 months ago
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Urmmmmm Haiiii … You’re my favorite Seb writer , absolutely adore yr stuff !!! Was wondering if I could req Seb and a reader who like …. Gives him a bouquet of coral and plants they find around the facility ……. If that makes sense …… (;´д`)
𝜗 ˖ ❝ hm, for me? ᵕ ♡
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— in which you have a gift for sebastian. ✧
↷  766 wc 𓈒 sfw 𓈒 kind of implied sebastian has a soft spot for you ?
‿ A/N im glad to hear you like my stuff <3 gave up like halfway thru this i cannot lie
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The Blacksite seems barren.
The only recurring theme of life present appears to be the monstrous and mutated entities that roam the halls, but you are unsure if some of them are alive. Any simple organisms no longer exist down here. Perhaps the pressure was too much for them to withstand in the first place, or maybe they were all destroyed during the breach. You're unsure: they won't bother to tell you minute details like that.
Yet, you've found that your original assumption was wrong. Exploring the multiple levels and rooms has allowed you to see the tiny glimpses of life still thriving here. The occasional potted plant—albeit wilting fairly quickly—stands alive in tiny rooms tucked away from most entities' eyes. Little chunks of coral float within the underground areas, likely broken off from the main body by the bull shark outside the windows. Tiny aquatic grasses, easily trampled on as you weave yourself out of a Searchlight's bright gaze.
You've wandered through the Blacksite many times, over and over again, with nothing new to see besides these little plants. They are the only unpredictable sight. The lights flicker to warn you of an Angler—but there are no warning signs of a simple plant. Squiddles make a gradual screeching noise as a warning—but there are no warning signs of a little flower. Perhaps that is why they are so beautiful down here: because you expect a monster, not a simple pot of grass.
However, no other beings here seem to hold the same sentiments as you. Most of them are mindless and have their minds set entirely on consuming. The only intelligent ones you can name right now seem uninterested, too. The bull shark with thousands of eyes littered in and outside themself? It seems they cannot see the plant's beauty even with their many eyes. The red face that warns you as they rush through and destroy the halls? Well, with how they mangle things in their path, you're not entirely sure if they care that much for them. The Painter?
. . . Well, the Painter probably likes flowers. But they cannot exactly interact with them.
Water trickled down your hand and dripped on the floor. You cradled a small fragment of blue coral in your palm. It had a rougher texture due to the little dips and bumps on its surface. The coral felt like nothing yet heavy at the same time as it rested in your hand. Its muted blue color looked even duller the more you looked at it.
It almost looked greenish, too.
The color reminded you of SEBASTIAN.
You forgot about him and his opinion on flowers. He seemed more uncaring and disinterested in small things, so you figured he probably wouldn't care for them. Yet, you knew he was once human. There must be a chance he may enjoy them.
You hadn't realized you pocketed the coral until your suit's legs were well-drenched.
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Upon presenting the messy bouquet to Sebastian, he responded with a taunting voice, "Is this for me? You really shouldn't have." He carefully examined the bouquet under his esca, observing the colorful coral chunks and slightly wilted plants. He appreciated how the colors complimented him.
Sebastian quietly hummed as he inspected the gift further, using his claw with surprising gentleness to brush through and examine everything you'd collected. It was evident from his growing smirk and visible canines that he appreciated the gesture if only a bit. "Why, thank you, friend," he said, before placing the bouquet on his desk.
With a taunting tone, he mused, "Don't tell me you went out of your way to get this just for me, now." Sebastian paused and directed his gaze back to you. "You know, I'm sure I could bargain a good price for this with the other Expendables."
You couldn't tell if he was serious, at least not until you looked at how his tail swayed like a happy dog's. Or how his ears twitched when your smile grew. Or how his voice softened ever so slightly as you eventually left.
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Unsurprisingly, the bouquet was still there on your next visit, neatly placed in the best glass Sebastian could find. It rested nearby him, neatly positioned to make it look fuller and beautiful. Of course, he wouldn't sell it. For as much as he teased you, he could not deny the fondness he felt when he looked at it.
Perhaps one day, you'd take the bouquet place and be right next to him yourself.
He cursed himself as his ears and tail twitched at the thought.
☆⠀⠀⠀ᛝ⠀⠀want to support my stuff? my kofi is here !⠀♡
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i-will-physically-fight-you · 3 months ago
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I think something that's fascinating in the AI discussion is how non-creatives perceive AI versus how many creatives perceive AI.
For example, years before AI was a thing--I spoke with someone about my creative writing projects and they expressed to me how they found it unfathomable that I could just make up entire worlds far removed from our reality of existence. To them, it was like magic.
To me, it was the culmination of countless hours spent playing with words until they flowed into semi-coherent lines of thought and emotion. I remember being ten years old and laboring away on my "biggest" novel project ever--it was 5k words full of singular sentence-long paragraphs and garbled heaps of grammar atrocities to the English language.
If I hadn't written it, I wouldn't have come to learn how to create the basic foundations of a story.
But I do get the "it's magic" sentiment a bit--I'm that way with music. Theoretically, I understand the components of a music composition but it feels like magic to see a musician that can listen to a tune for the first time and play it perfectly due to years of honing in their craft.
That's the premise of that quote from Arthur C. Clarke: "Magic's just science we don't understand yet."
When it comes to anything we don't have countless hours of experience with, it feels like magic. It feels like something that's outside of our feeble human capabilities. It's not until we start to put in the time to learn a skill that it becomes more attainable inside our heads.
Generative AI presents a proposition to the non-creative: "What if you could skip past the 'learning process' and immediately create whatever art of your choosing?"
It's instant dopamine. In a world that preys upon our ever-decreasing attention spans and ways of farming short spikes of dopamine, was it ever a surprise that generative ai would be capitalized in this fashion?
So for the non-creative, when they use generative AI and see something resembling their prompt, it feels good. They are "writing" stories, they are "making" art in ways they could never do with their lack of skills.
(It is, in fact, really cool that we have technology that can do this. It's just incredibly shitty that it's exploitative of the human artists whose works were taken without permission as well as its existence threatening their livelihoods.)
What I think is equally concerning as the data scraping of generative ai is the threat that AI imposes on the education of the arts. More and more, you see an idea being pushed that you don't need knowledge/experience in how to create art, all you need to do is feed prompts into generative ai and let it do the "work" for you.
Generative AI pushes the idea that all art should be pristine, sleek and ready for capitalism consumption. There is no room for amateur artists struggling like foals to take their first steps in their creative journeys. We live in a world where time is money and why "waste" time learning when you can have instant success?
It's a dangerous concept because presents a potential loss in true understanding of how art works. It obscures it and makes it seem "impossible" to the average person, when art is one of the freest forms of expressions out there.
It's already happening--Nanowrimo, the writing challenge where the entire point was writing 50k original words in a single month regardless of how pretty it looked--coming out and saying that it is ableist and classist to be opposed to AI is the canary in the coalmine of what's to come.
For the non-creatives who enjoy the generative ai, it feels like a power fantasy come to life. But for creatives concerned about generative ai?
We're living in a horror movie.
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a-bright-comet · 7 months ago
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Jade Shadows Thoughts
(NOTICE: I have edited this post after a few days and many lovely replies and tags giving me more insight and opinions, overall my view of this quest has gotten a lot more positive, thank you all <3) okaaayyyy I am utterly rattled rn lmao also made the mistake of looking at tumblr after doing the quest and as expected it seems to be a 50/50 of hating or loving it. so here are my personal thoughts, I am a little scared but talk seems to be civil thankfully. I can definitely agree on the sentiment that this quest needed more time, cause let's be honest the people hating this quest wouldn't be jumping to the things they're jumping to if Jade herself got more screen-time before the big drop, warframe's style has always been vague and never 100% straight-forward and I think that unfortunately hurt it a bit this time, as what they didn't show came off wrong to many people and while I sorta see why I disagree on some parts. I also feel like the quest kinda got a bit *too* hyped both by DE and the fanbase's theories, way too short, it deserved and needed to be a bit longer for it's special narrative. Jade kinda got a weird spot, both being the main focus alongside Stalker but also hardly explored. But let's be honest, most of the negativity is caused by this outside-circumstance alone. Now, what I absolutely disagree with is people insisting that DE was trying to say "bodily autonomy bad" or that Stalker didn't care about her and only the child, thing is I thought it was pretty fucking clear that she *wanted* the child in what little was shown and she was going to die no matter the outcome (thanks to the orokin to absolutely no one's surprise) and Stalker in his guilt for all she's done for him wanted to make sure that he at least kept this one promise to Her, cause She wanted it. she still had bodily autonomy in the fact She wanted this, she wanted the child no matter what. and she wanted stalker to protect her and the kid. And he did, like a true loving partner. DE has a long track record of being very autonomy-positive. A point they make time and time again is that ripping it away is *bad* and horrifying, the quest is a bittersweet tragedy, not a horror. Honestly there would be 0 issue if DE had given us a Jade-only quest before this one, I personally would've preferred it as well, she's cool as hell she deserves it. who knows maybe DE will see all of this and make prequel quests? we can only hope. I do not want to assume the worst of anyone or anything cause that's a miserable existence. Look I personally enjoyed the quest and get the feeling whoever wrote it did it out of some personal experience or sorrow, that's at least the vibe I got. It's a tragedy, but her choice was seen till the end, many women choose to still have a child despite knowing they won't make it, many also don't, that's why choice is important. and she did, she chose her child that she was having while likely forcibly infested and turned into a warframe. (also remember there are women on the team who likely looked at this.) there are some other iffy parts of the quest, (really should've been the drifter instead of the operator if they were gonna do that, but that's personal discomfort.) but overall I enjoyed it and open to explore the implications of a born-warframe-child and Stalker healing as they both grow together. These are my thoughts, and I can understand why people like or dislike this quest, but I think it's fine and just ended up in a very unfortunate spot due to outside circumstances beyond it's control. (sorry if any of this comes off as aggressive it is not my intention despite how riled I am by some folk online, I disagree with you but I do not hate you, I don't even know you.)
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Her choice, His promise, Their light.
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Thank you for reading my first ever text post about something I care about, not sure I'll be doing this again any time soon out of anxiety lol (Edit: and thanks to everyone responding to this post wonderfully, ya'll are great and have lessened my anxiety and have made me appreciate this quest more <3)
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thewertsearch · 7 months ago
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TG: oh so this is the trollplanet TG: pretty cool not really what i pictured AA: what did you picture […] TG: a bunch of trolls flying around in little grub pods constantly screaming at each other through bullhorns shaped like buckets AA: thats very silly and a little perverse […] AA: but actually that sounds like what it might have been like on some parts of the planet sooo
Aradia lived out in the boonies, so she's not much of an authority on cosmopolitan life in Alternia. Sollux is the city boy, and I wouldn't be surprised if this was what his area was like.
TG: so what am i supposed to do now that im dead […] TG: where are the fucking hauntoffs at is what im asking AA: i dont know about hauntoffs AA: but there is plenty of time to satisfy various curiosities you might have about existence and whatnot
I guess even this neighbourhood has a Janet.
... man, I miss The Good Place. I’ve been rewatching clips from the show this week, and it's actually got a lot in common with Homestuck. They're both character-driven stories with enormous scope, centered around a bizarre institution which governs all of reality.
AA: there are all sorts of friends to meet AA: ones you already know and ones you dont
Is Aradia referring to members of her own team, or are there ghosts from entirely different sessions floating around the Bubbles?
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Feferi was prophesized to unite only two races, something she's achieved through the Horrorterrors. This implies we won't be seeing any other alien species, but we could see other human Players. Technically, it also means we could see other trolls, but that's pretty unlikely. As far as we're aware, Alternia only spawned a single session.
Anyway - the more I think about these Dream Bubbles, the more I'm starting to realize how much strategic potential they have. Affinity for the Furthest Ring is a genuine boon, and being a Derse Dreamer is more advantageous than I thought.
AA: time is like a game […] AA: and games are fun but sometimes you dont realize how much fun you were having until theyre all over AA: and sometimes you look back and realize for some stupid reason you werent having any fun at all!
What an interesting sentiment that I’m sure is not at all autobiographical.
Aradia spent the entire session as a robot with zero agency, and never got to use her powers for her sake, instead of the timeline's. It makes perfect sense that she didn't have fun with her Aspect.
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Tavros! My man, Tavros!
Alright, this is actually fantastic. Tavros died before he could reveal Vriska's batshit plan to the team, but Aradia has handed him a second chance. All he has to d-
AT: lOOKS LIKE i FOUND ANOTHER POINT IN TIME TO BOTHER YOU, AT: wHEN, i GUESS, AT: yOU ARE MORE EMOTIONALLY SUSCEPTIBLE, […] TG: are those sick fires youre packing there TG: you best not be bringin that fire into my bubble less you plan on dropping that shit
-he's just here to rap, isn't he.
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waywardsou2 · 4 months ago
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Drunk!Logan X Drunk!MaleReader Part 4
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I really think I should change the title since they haven't been drunk for the last 5 parts but oh well it's stuck now
Summary: You and Logan have been able to move past all that has happened, and slowly you two are becoming closer. Maybe the quicker than the two of you believe at first
Word Count: 2.9k+
Tags: fluff, friendly fighting, almost a confession
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After your late night meeting you and Logan attempted to be civil. The unease between the two of you had disappeared but you still felt unsure about where you stood with him.
He was compassionate but he was like that with everyone at the mansion. His anger and standoffish attitude was a stark contrast to his compassionate moments. Logan wasn't an asshole, but he wasn't the easiest guy to get along with. These two personality traits of his clashed but someone how balanced him at the same time.
The two of you nodded at each other as you passed in the halls. You sometimes visited him between classes but not often. You were making an effort to try and get yourself out there but it was all new to you. And you still didn't want to get in anybody's way or cause any problems. The habit of acting like you didn't exist for other people convenience was a hard one to break. But Logan's words had really hit where it mattered and you were trying to take it on board.
What he said about everyone having at least one person to stick by was something you thought about often. And you guessed that you chose Logan. It wasn't unexpected perse but more of a risk. Because you didn't know if he would choose you back. In your head it was like an unrequited friendship...but he had approached you first. So maybe it wasn't unrequited? You didn't know. And it hurt your head to think about it too much.
Logan was glad to see you around more often. Not ignoring him anymore. He didn't know why it bothered him so much but it just did. And he was glad that you didn't seem so sullen around the halls. You were by no means happy go lucky or bubbly...not at all. But he did notice a change. You held your head a little higher. You went out of your way to say hello to the kids that passed by you. Even bringing coffee to Storm and Scott during their lessons.
You brought him a "coffee" once as well at the break between his last lessons of the day. The coffee was in fact whiskey disguised in a coffee mug and he was quite surprised when you handed it to him with a finger pressed silently to your lips. You didn't bother to stick around. But he understood the sentiment behind the gesture. The change was evident in and of itself. He wasn't going to push you. He knew how hard you were trying already.
One night, a sleepless night like usual, you were out in the garden again. This time wandering around by the orchard towards the back of the school. The trees weren't in bloom yet but their leaves were green and full of life so you knew it wouldn't take long. You were tired, you felt exhausted but your brain was wired which made your body buzz. How those two things worked you didn't know, they just did. Maybe it was because the fatigue had set in really badly and your body was overcompensating with adrenaline. Probably not a good sign but like every other night you ignored it.
From behind you you heard a twig snapping and you turned to see Logan walking towards you in the moonlight. You hoped he would come see you again at night but he hadn't since that evening.
Logan looked at you as he walked with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. He watched as you turned to look at him. You arms resting on the fence dividing the properties.
"Hey" you called softly
"Can't sleep?" He asks in response
"Yup, thinking about too much I guess. Too...pent up" you say sighing
"About what?"
You tapped your nose "That's for me to know" you say cheekily but it's half hearted, 'and you to find out' you finish the phrase in your head. You didn't like it when he pried. But a small part of you wished he did. So you would have an excuse to tell somebody about what was on your mind. But considering the first time he'd done that it ended in disaster, he didn't ask.
He let out a small laugh, the type that only goes out your nose in one puff of breath.
Logan joins you on the fence. The two of you stand in silence together as the wind makes the trees rustle and your hair being pushed to the one side, your fringe being pushed off your head.
Logan's cowlicks remained umoved as the wind continued to blow.
You watched him as his eyes flowed over the branches of trees in front of you. He was rushing the view before him.
His brown eyes were beautiful in the moonlight, lighter than normal in contrast to the blue light that the moon gave off. In the sunlight they were like whiskey but in the moonlight they were like tigers eye jemstones. Deep and rich with hints of gold, only revealing itself in certain lights.
They were breath taking. All of his feature were. His curly brown hair, his mutton chops that dulled the sharpness of his jaw but framed his face. Their was a tiredness to his face that outweighed the boyish charm his face still held. You didn't know much about Logan's past. But you could tell that he had been through enough to age him years more than he was.
Logan turned his head and caught you staring.
"The view is in front of us, bub"
You blink and look away, staring far into the distance instead. You sigh and cursed yourself self for getting distracted. What was wrong with you?
Suddenly Logan nudge you in the side with his elbow "C'mon, let's spar for a bit"
"Now? Won't that wake everyone?"
"Not in the danger room it won't"
He smirks at you and pushes away from the fence walking back towards the mansion. After a moment's hesitation you follow him
The two of you walk through the manor, passing no one on your way, taking the elevator down to the war room and down the hall to the Danger room. The flashy X door turns and opens and the two of you step inside. Logan fiddles with the computer for a moment until the room transforms into a forest landscape. The trees are corporal to the touch. It was incredible.
You would have to ask Hank someday how he did it.
Logan walks away from the computer as it disguises itself in the landscape it created. He turns to face you and pulls off his jacket discarding it by a tree which he marks with a single claw scratch.
You roll your neck trying to get the kinks out of it, knowing your head will have to be on a swivel with Logan.
He purposefully picked a landscape that he would be more accustomed to. You’d lived in the city all your life, even when you were shunned you stayed in the slums on the streets. Skulking in back alleys. You knew the concrete jungle. Not the real one
Logan cracks his knuckles flexing his fingers as he protracts his claws.
You watch as the skin in between his knuckles splits open, you think about how painful that must be for him. You cringe internally.
"You ready bub?"
"Yeah, bub. Just don't go easy on me. I'm not as fragile as you might think"
He smirks and gets down low. You roll up the sleeves of your flannel and bring your arms up into a defensive position.
He makes the first move. Running at you full speed, you counter by sliding between his legs, he attempts to stab you as you go down but misses. You jump up and give him a light kick in the back.
He turns to you and growls though the smirk hasn't left his lips.
He lunges for you again this time making a fake right and then spinning left to slash at you. You doge out of the way of his attack but he nick's your arm. The not too deep gashes appear and disappear on your arm.
"Is that all you got?" You goad him, an almost flirtatious tone to your voice.
Both of you were becoming hot and bothered as you fought. The sweat dripped off his face as it soaked through his tank top, sticking it to his chest. You had pulled off your flannel at some point and discarded it by the same tree Logan had his leather.
You continue to leap for him, repaying his onslaught with your arms up for defence and your legs out to attack.
Logan is clearly in his element as he evades your futile attempts at attacks. You hadn't been able to land a worthwhile blow yet but he hadn't knocked you down either.
Logan was dodging behind trees, swinging from low branches and kicking off the trunks to give him a height-advanced attack. He's fast and it takes all your concentration to turn and counter his attacks.
At one point he disappears from sight and you look around frantically. Panting hard from the half hour you are sure has passed by.
You turn looking this way and that but in the split second you face your back to him Logan leaps at you and knocks you to the ground. The force of his body weight slamming into yours sent you to the leaf strewn ground with a hard thud.
He stood over you as you tried to jump up. Holding a set of claws to your face
You keep your hands up, breathing hard as he breathed equally as hard over you. The two of you stay there for a while. Logan isn't continuing the fight but you aren't ready to give up.
Logan was right a fight was a good idea but now you were pent up in other ways. Every time Logan had pushed you around or you had countered his attacks the touches sent shivers down your spine amongst the warmth that flooded your body from the exercise.
You were enjoying Logan's company but maybe more than just as a good sparring partner. You had to admit that Logan was pretty easy on the eyes. And not too bad looking disheveled from the exercise either.
More than once you had caught yourself looking at his toned arms and tight chest. And not just because he happened to be attacking you with full force.
But Logan had been noticing the same things about you. Each time you managed to land a punch. Even if it was weak he felt pride and even some joy in the fact that he could finally spar with someone he didn't have to hold back with.
Your hair was darker than usual and flat to your head. Your body was almost as tonned as his and he started to understand why he got so many looks whenever he wore something semi tight.
You were quite handsomely built. Not that he let that distract him.
Ok maybe it did a little bit. He wondered what you would look like with your shirt off. He hoped that maybe if he ran you around enough you would over heat and take it off.
His heart had skipped a beat when you took your flannel off to inadvertently show your arms off.
As he stood over you he panted watching the way your eyes flicked over his body. He was waiting for you to concede. Not making you give up but giving you the option.
You took the third option. You grabbed the arm pointed at you and pulled with all your might. You brought your foot up and pushed into his stomach. Using the momentum to lift him up and over your head and onto his back. You scrambled onto him to hold him down.
You might just win this fight.
You allow all your body weight to push him into the fake earthen ground. Holding his hands by his head so he couldn't scratch you and keeping your legs squeezed against his waist so he couldn't move his hips too much. You didn't want him pulling a move on you.
It was your turn to look down at him now.
And damn did he look good in this position
Logan was inclined to agree. He swallowed hard as he looked up into your face. Now that he was closer he could see the light stubble that was growing across your jaw. The specks of hair on your cheeks and above your upper lip.
It gave you that edge to your look and he found it quite attractive.
You watched as his eyes twitched as he looked at your face. Moving his eyes only as far as they needed to go to scan your face.
"Do I win?" You ask cockily a smirk being pulled into your face
The two of you pant roughly and it takes him a minute to respond.
"Dunno, are you finished bub? Or do you wanna go a round two?"
This conversation was beginning to sound less like sparring and more like something else.
The adrenaline from this fight was melting away any lack of confidence you had. Replacing it with stoic triumph and gall.
"I bet you'd like that wouldn't you. Be able to top me for real if I was tired out from another round"
The words left your mouth but as you said them you heard them echo in your head and you felt a warmth creep up your neck that had nothing to do with the sparing.
This was getting out of hand and you were starting to question your choices. You let go of Logan and stood up. Stepping away from him.
He has the same slight scowl in his face as he always does but you thought you saw a hint of disappointment in his eyes.
Logan was indeed disappointed. Not only in the space you had created between the two of you but how your bravado from before suddenly withered away like a flower doused with poison.
He watched as you turned away and walked to pick up your flannel and he followed. He wasn't going to let you walk off on him this time. Especially when something was going on now.
He had seen that glint in your eyes even if it was brief. Something was happening here and he was going to confront you about it.
He realised now why you allured him so much, why he was desperate to keep track of you after that night at the bar. Hell why he had followed you to that barnin the first place.
Yes alright he admits it he followed you.
As you bend over to scoop up your jacket and hand Logan's back to him you turn to see him inches from your face.
In surprise you take a step back and bump into the tree.
He leant forward and put a hand on the trunk by your head and the other by your hip
"Why do you keep running from me?" Logan asks. His voice low.
His face is so close to yours you could have counted the individual hairs of his mutton chops.
You swallowed and he watched as your Adams apple bobbed with the movement.
"You can let people in you know. It sure as hell ain't easy, I know."
You had no idea why Logan was so close. Why was he confronting you like this again? Why were his eyes were the prettiest thing you had ever seen?
You startled yourself with that thought and had to look away, turning your head to the side. But then you were startled once more as his calloused hand pulled at your chin softly turning your head back to face him.
Your eyes widen as you look at him. A somber tenderness in your voice. Like you were a lost child or an injured creature.
And maybe you were. A mutant with a dark past could be likened to that of a downed bear.
"I told you. I can't get close to people"
He cocked his head and let go of your chin
"You seem pretty close to me. And you didn't seem to unhappy about me joining you outside either. That's more than anyone else here has done"
You press your back harder against the tree as he moves into your space even more. All the while without touching you.
"...sometimes there are exceptions" you whisper as you continue to look at his eyes. He was so close you could see your own reflection in them. It was confronting.
He was confronting. He was standing in your space and you were letting him. This time he didn't even have to hold you to keep in place. Given the choice you wouldn't have moved anyway.
Logan's eyes flicked down to your lips and back up again. He could smell the deep rich tones in your scent this close. The salt and the earth mixed with your musk from all the training. He watched as your eyes glistened in the artificial light from the danger room.
He studied every inch of your face like it was a master piece crafted by Michelangelo himself. And to Logan you were. As detailed as the marble he carved but as hardy as it too. Almost impenetrable on contact.
"Am I your exception?" Logan asks bringing his face closer to yours and lowering his voice even more. The bass of his tone mixed with the quietness of voice.
"Because I think your mine"
Logan knew now you were something special to him. Like human magnetism that pulled him towards you. Even if he wanted to pull away he couldn't. He should have noticed when you first joined the team but he only fully understood now.
And you understood why you sought his attention and his approval at first. Logan inspired you as a hero and as a person. But it was so much more than that, he was alluring and too hard to stay away from.
That's why you had to leave that night, to drink away any and all feelings. Because in the end they all came back to Logan.
"Just let me in, please" he whispered. His breath hitting your lips as he spoke
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Oh yes I am being that bitch. You guys are going to have to wait for part 6 for me to get to juicy stuff. I am going to drag this out as long as possible hahah!
Part 6 is here! (finally)
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danddymaro · 11 months ago
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Staying In | Kars x Reader
big boy stays with you
Sweet stuff.
Word count: 352
Staying In
Kars watched as you continued to sleep through the night, unperturbed by any of his movements, at an ease he hadn't thought could be possible near someone like him.
-For a prey like you to be so trusting ; there was certainly some sort of amusement there for him to muse over.
But of course, he wasn't too surprised.
You were the exception to many of his doubts, a constant reminder of how beautiful humans could be.
-You were truly a rarity to come across, and he appreciated your very existence, as he did most creatures that basked under the sun.
His large hand lightly ghosted over your head, occasionally petting you with a contemplative sigh as he considered slipping out of your home again.
The illumination of the forgiving moon called out to him as it was the only time he could explore freely. His old friend smiled down at him, luring him, yet he resisted.
You wouldn't be aware, only slightly upset when you saw him again, but too grateful to have him return to dwell in it.
He knew you well enough to know that you wanted more time with him, you were sentimental and needy in that way.
-Not that he minded much.
After all, It's the custom as he's never stayed longer than a few gracious hours. Though, he's been willing to extend that time lately.
You're fortunate to have claimed a part of his heart, a piece that was growing furthumore as time progressed.
"I suppose…" he murmurs as he leans down, his lips pressed to your shoulder as he takes a second longer to consider his options before ultimately deciding to stay.
" These few hours will belong to you," he declares with a touch of gentle delight before it takes him a moment to settle, to try and fit close to your smaller frame as he tests out holding you close, your entire body shifting in silent complience he finds to his favor.
If he were inconsiderate, he'd let out a hearty laugh as you immediately cuddle close to him, clutching his hand to your chest and between your two arms that hold it lovingly.
"My precious little gem," he softly says as he holds you from behind, cocooning you with his larger body and falling waves of plum that gently caress your skin.
"I'll stay with you longer,"
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saltpepperbeard · 1 year ago
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OFMD Week Day 4: Favorite Ships/Fluff
The Kiss (Favorite Moments/Commentary/Fluffy Writing) 💙💋💜
So I've been wanting to step through the kiss bit by bit and point out/wax poetic ramble on about all the intricacies for so, so long. And on a day of OFMD Week dedicated to ships, fluff, and favorite moments, it was a match made in heaven!
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I'll go ahead and start with the confession. The careful hesitance, the uncertainty, the moment right there in the air for both of them to take. The way Ed's lips barely even move with the whispered "...you" even when the weight of such an admittance is so strong. Yet, he does it. He goes for it. He finally frees the single word that has been clawing its way out of his chest for weeks.
But the way he's still so cautious, still so unsure. It's new to him. It's new to them both. He's likely never been in such a vulnerable position before. And it's a huge leap to make even if you're experienced anyway.
So, to see him slowly look over to gauge Stede's reaction, to see him so fragile...
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...And then to see Stede smile.
Granted, Stede's expression hurts a bit because it's incredulous. The way his eyebrows shoot up—he can't fathom it. His mind can't process that he makes Edward Teach happy. He probably believes he hasn't made anyone happy, ever.
But still, he smiles. Something inside of him sings. Something inside of him rejoices, because Ed makes him so happy too. Ed makes him feel worthy, feel seen.
And that smile is him seeing Ed right back, meeting him in the vulnerability as they have before. Not a look of disgust, or judgement, or anything negative of the sort.
But acceptance. Mutuality. A sunrise over a new beginning.
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So, of course Ed has to kiss him. Of course Ed has to take advantage of the moment. Of course Ed has to hush Stede by meeting his lips with his own. Words wouldn't have been as effective. Talking things through wouldn't have sufficed, not when things were so open.
Their mouths had to do a different sort of talking. Their souls had to breathe into each other, to finally meet as they had been wanting.
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And oh, how they had been wanting. Even with the muddiness in Stede's mind, even with all the underlying complexities, they relax into each other. There's the split-second jolt of surprise, the utter shock that exists from suddenly sharing such intimacy.
But then their bodies melt. They both fall into the connection. Stede eases himself into it, and some of the tension in Ed's eyes lessens.
Even still, they don't move or actively kiss right away. But why should they? It's new. It's different. It's precious.
It's something to be experienced, something to be savored.
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And something to be further explored, eventually.
Again, they meet each other. They know each other. They see each other.
When one body moves, so too, does the other. When one itches to try, to reach out just that little bit further, the other reaches back.
Ed started the kiss. Ed initiated. But Stede finds him—Stede kisses him in return.
And they seem to build off each other, to heighten their dance; when Stede kisses back, when Stede shows he's there, Ed seems that much more invigorated. He eases himself nearer, and pulls their bodies that much closer together...
With Stede following him and meeting his every move.
They're there. They're there with each other. There's nothing else but them in that moment.
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Again, Ed steps, and again, Stede meets. A tilt of the head, a glide of their lips, answered by the softest hum. A breathy little something that screams bliss. A tiny noise that says, "I have never known this before, but I want to for the rest of my life."
And Stede's eyes remaining closed after they part really hammers that sentiment in.
His mind may be a mess. His emotions may be all over the place.
But his heart isn't. His heart assuredly isn't.
It is warm, and dazed, and just as dreamy as he.
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Because goodness, the absolute fondness in his eyes. The sheer love in his eyes. The difference in his smiles—first stunned, then at home.
And again, another bit of mutuality. A returned breath in the space just for them.
"You make Stede happy."
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And oh, how wondrous is that. Oh, how relieving is that.
They make each other happy.
They're in love.
Despite everything, despite what's beneath the surface, despite all that will come, they're in love.
They're there for each other in a way no one ever has been before, and no one ever will be. Ed can hold Stede so softly, regarding him so gently as though he'll shatter. Stede can stare right into Ed's eyes, breathing the same air as though it's the easiest thing in the world.
Maybe because it is.
Because they're in love.
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pharawee · 2 months ago
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I can't believe that all of my theories for The Hidden Moon turned out to be true. Finally! My love for ghost stories is paying off!
Khen and his friends were dead all along, and Mas was the one seeing ghosts. And just by being with Mas Khen is draining him of his life (because he's got to sustain himself somehow).
All that's missing now is the reincarnated lovers ending but it looks like we'll be getting that next week as well.
Also, I didn't expect the scene with Bing and Toh finding their own bodies to hit me this hard. It's not even so much about them holding hands in death*, it's about To grieving for what they were and what they lost (and never got to have in the first place - but I'd like to believe that reincarnation will solve that too 🙏).
*There was something so sad and so human about it, though. It reminded me of Pompeii and the dozens of other places where humans sought shelter in each other in their moment of death.
The only plot twist that kind of surprised me was Kamphuan's ghost actually turning out to be Somphon but in hindsight it makes so much sense, and it was such a sad and bitter and beautiful set of flashbacks. I'm glad they gave them so much screen time.
And I know I've said this about a million times already but I'd really really love to read the novel - for the foreshadowing and symbology alone. I Feel You Linger in the Air was such a beautifully intricate and insightful novel (and so was the series - although lots of Jom's inner voice was of course lost in the transition) and I'm pretty sure that the Hidden Moon novel has a lot of the same ingredients because you can catch glimpses of it in the series too.
I'm not even disappointed anymore in some of the acting and editing choices because 1. I'm sentimental and easy to excite and 2. it's so obvious to me that everyone was really committed to creating the best series they could under the circumstances. And, really, if we listened to all the cynical twitter and mdl comments demanding that only the most perfect and high-budget and mainstream BL productions be made, then this (and a lot of other BLs) wouldn't exist and we'd be missing out on so many interesting and entertaining stories. 🙏
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wakacreations · 3 months ago
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Letters From Rolan (Anthology)
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Your Ally :) Letter Unproperly Sent.
Word Count: 887
Summary:
After Lorroakan's demise, Rolan reflects on his new position as the Master of Ramazith's Tower.
[A letter written in cursive script.]
Dear Tav,
You know you terrify me tremendously. That is no understatement. I have validity to that fear. Who can stand against the great saviour of Baldur’s Gate? Someone except I, of course. Oh, who am I kidding this letter won't be sent anyways. Most of these letters will never go to them…
At night I am stuck wondering if there was something more when you came to my rescue, my family’s rescue. If I was any other tiefling or stranger you had come across, you would probably rush in to save them. I am left thinking truly I cannot help these thoughts wandering into my subconscious as of late. I sit in this tower. I now can call mine but could I do so in good consciousness? My “master”, well.. “former master”, what am I even saying that BASTARD. How could I not have chosen to stand my ground against him sooner! Why did your actions have to sway me to act? That is not a slight at you but a chastisement at myself. How can I run and be the “Master” of Ramazith’s Tower when the time came to prove myself. To stand up against him I felt hesitation.. fear even. How did I let myself get diluted into thinking it was the price to pay for being a master wizard's apprentice?
For a long time I thought that such a thing was necessary not just for my apprenticeship but just everyday life. For how much of my life, my existence had been a mix of luck and misfortune. Am I worthy to keep accepting these happenstances of luck, these “gifts” and these “talents”. I was casted aside at birth you know. I never told another soul, only my family knows that fact. If our mother didn't well their mother showed such hospitality, to commit to such a noble act I.. honestly don't know where I would be. There were some soldiers, Hellriders who took pity on me when I was only but a street urchin living in Elturel. Maybe I would join their ranks. I know such a statement seems like a jest. “Rolan?! Thee tiefling wizard who is prim and proper! Who wouldn't be caught dead smelling of the grove!?! That same Rolan???” I heard all types of heckling from those troglodytes to know that sounds outlandish. I was in my youth. What else could I say? My ambitions were always grand.
I try, you know. I try to be more than I am; some child beggar on the streets, a wretched Hellspawn, a refugee of a great historic tragedy, a victim of a bastard fraud who dares call themselves a “wizard”, and for me to be simply more than just a burden who was abandoned by birth. I don't blame her, my birth mother or my father or whomever left me at the orphanage in Baldur’s Gate. Well I find it hard sometimes to find a reason to love me too.
*tears stains appear on the parchment
Cal, Lia.. and my mother do carry my burden. I am forever grateful and owe them more than I am worth, more than I could ever repay. I have resigned myself to spending the rest of my existence to them. To provide, to protect, and to serve as their guardian in my mother's stead. I know they see me as their brother, sometimes their older brother when they get sentimental. Most of the time to settle their petty arguments. They are all I have known and happy to have only known. They are my family.
Honestly that is why I was so adamant to forgo any of your insistent meddling. I am surprised you still saved us when you did. Maybe you were more willing to save my siblings. I won't blame you if you were put off from saving I, time and time again. Even I would feel the displeasures of such a task. In the similar vein as to my family, I do owe you for my life and additionally more so for theirs. 
If time ever came and the likelihood would be astronomically improbable but I would rescue you, you know. Truly I would. If word was spread of you going amiss or in some unimaginable otherworldly danger you would find yourself in, I would seek you. Do anything within my power to save you from whatever peril that has befallen you. Not just because my debt would be paid to you. 
I… well. If nothing.. I am the Master of Ramazith's Tower of course. I will live up to and be the most powerful wizard in Baldur’s Gate. I have now acquired the resources necessary to acquire the title. After properly continuing my research and studies of course. There is plenty more I need to learn. There are many subjects of the weave I have yet to achieve mastery of.
If in any case you find yourself in need of help, anything at all the Master of Ramazith's Tower will answer you. I will surely and graciously assist you to the best of my abilities. It is only right for me to do so to the person who earned the title hero or do you prefer being called the great saviour of Baldur’s Gate?
-Rolan  (friend?)
The Master of Ramazith’s Tower
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beanghostprincess · 11 months ago
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ShuggyUta family is so cute and funny bc like.
One one hand - AAAA CUTE Uta one day having the EPIPHANY that half of her hair is WHITE, and HAIR DYE EXISTS so she hunts down the closest blue to Buggy's hair. She dyes it in the middle of the night, and either comes out next morning completely casual OR bursts out like "DAD, PAPA, LOOK NOW I HAVE BOTH OF YOU WITH ME :DD"
They both implode immediately ((and Buggy gives her the "The sentiment is so sweet baby, but remember you never ever have to change your appearance to be worthy of love. If you want to, want it for yourself, okay? We love you no matter what" talk))
Then there's also the shenanigans.
Buggy: .... whatchya got there?
Shanks and Uta, both holding one of Luffy's hands, holding cups in the other: ........ smoothies?
<><><><><>
Buggy: Shanks so help me, I TOLD YOU not to get another kid-
Shanks: whaaaaaat? Hahaha, no Bugaboo. You told me very specifically I am not to adopt another child :))
Buggy: so why are there two new children in the kitchen
Luffy: I adopted them!
Uta: we have big brothers now!
Shanks:
Buggy:
Shanks: you told me not to adopt anyone. You didn't tell Lu or Uta.
Buggy: alright. That one's on me.
<><><><><>
Rayleigh, surprise visiting his kids: hello my children, I have swam across the Grandline- is that a kid?
Buggy, Uta on one hip, Sabo on his shoulders, Luffy on his back and Ace clinging to his leg and glaring death at Ray: four, actually.
Ray:
Buggy:
Ray: I'm a grandpa? And you didn't TELL ME??
<><><><><>
Shanks: happy mothers day, Bug!
Buggy: i'm... not a woman?
Shanks: maybe not but you ARE a botto-
Buggy: punches him I'm keeping the roses and chocolates
<><><><><>
Buggy and Shanks teaching them the pirates code, weapons, Haki, sailing, navigation, etc.
Shanks has a moment of "is it really okay to have them on the ship? We were in danger, Bug, it hurt us, what if we're hurting THEM-??"
Buggy smacks him. "We're learning from our dads' mistakes, Red. It's not perfect. We're not perfect. We just need to be the best we can and always put them first. We need to communicate. If we leave them, we can't protect them. If we leave, they'll be on their own. This is the lesser evil. We need to have their security as our priority. We're pirates, but we're parents, too. We can not commit to one over the other, but we can't let it hurt our babies. They're ours now. We are NOT leaving them behind."
<><><><><>
Ace gets a crash course in his history. It's rocky at first, but it's only bc he asks Buggy and Shanks ((separately, mind you)) about "if Gold Roger Had A Kid".
Buggy responds with a snort. "I mean, he kinda had two? But if we had another, then word, I guess? I'd be a little annoyed."
"Bc of his blood?"
"What? No. I'd be pissed that Captain didn't tell me. Asshole move, that. Why do you ask, freckles?"
Shanks, meanwhile, just shrugs. "Ya know how they say blood is thicker than water?"
"... yeah?"
"Yeah, it's bullshit. I wouldn't really care. If Captain had a kid, that's just not my business. I bled with him, for him, and he did for me. I think of him as my father, so I guess that would be sort of like... a little sibling, maybe? But it'd be up to the kid. Your blood doesn't define you, Ace. That's a lesson all good pirates know."
"......... mm."
<><><><><>
Sabo, no warning, in the middle of dinner: I'm a runaway noble.
Shanks: oh neat.
Buggy: oh? Which family? Want me to rob them for you?
Sabo: you aren't mad???
Uta, shrugging: it doesn't matter. You're still a feral jungle brat. Besides, if anyone in the family passes as a fancy pants noble, it's me!
Buggy: 🤨
Uta: ... and mama Bug. I guess.
Luffy: I don't care. Sabo is Sabo.
Ace: yeah, what he said.
Buggy: I will still rob them though.
<><><><><>
That's all I got rn baaaaiiii
Help these are all great 😭 You made my day with this <3
They just keep adopting kids and expanding the family. When they grow up, they get their partners and Zoro, Yamato, Koala, and Perona are there 24/7 because these kids cannot have a normal relationship that isn't based on codependency and both Shanks and Buggy have to deal with four more people around.
Ace telling them he is Roger's child and Sabo telling them he is a noble??? That kills me. They'd be so supportive and protective of them, too. It kills me.
Also, Buggy would ADORE these kids. Rayleigh comes over and sees the whole thing and Shanks thinks he's going to be angry because they didn't tell him but the man is just amazed they managed to have a family of their own without fucking up. Buggy keeps saying it was thanks to him because Shanks wouldn't have been able to do it on his own and, like, everybody agrees.
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hummingbird-hunter · 20 days ago
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Ok so. I really didn't want to like enter a discourse or anything but I've been seeing a lot of posts about transandrophobia and I feel like the way people tackle the issue is,, well it's not working. And I'm saying this from experience.
Look, at the core of it, transandrophobia is an intersection of misogyny+transphobia, experienced by transmasculine people. That's it, that's what it is. Not to say that it's a simple issue, but neither misogyny nor transphobia are simple. But this is the simplest and the most correct way for people to understand.
Because, let's be honest, there are mostly three groups of people who don't believe in transandrophobia, for one reason or another:
People who genuinely don't know what that is
People who believe it to be similar to redpilled men's rights activism
People who straight up hate transmascs
I was in the first group. Despite being transmasc myself, this is not a term I was familiar with. I simply used transphobia and/or misogyny to describe my experiences, I didn't know there even was a word to describe that intersection aimed at my specific group. I was also almost in group 2 — in real life, I've actually met a few trans men that became misogynistic after pasing, and one even being full-on "[cis] women are opressors and [cis] men are opressed" redpilled incel. (The latter, in his own words, was a terf before he transitioned, which, yeah, not surprising). That is not to say that trans men are uniquely predisposed to perpetuate misogyny — I've met just as many misogynistic trans women, even more cis women, and more misogynistic cis men than the first three groups combined — that is to say, trans men aren't unique in their ability to perpetuate misogyny, but they aren't inherently exempt from it, either — no one is.
So yes, when I first saw the term transandrophobia flying around, and people defending it, the context in which I saw it almost led me to believe that it was some anti-feminist "men are the opressed class" thing. I can see that it's not that, now, but people with no context will not. So having that misconception, even seeing the statistics of trans men being assaulted, it wouldn't sway people — because, of course trans men are opressed, we know transphobia exists, but that doesn't excuse you from being misogynistic — see what I mean?
I only really realized what the term meant when I saw some people combating against the notion of transadrophobia — wherein I did actually realize — oh, so there are people who don't believe that trans men experience transphobia and misogyny. Well, that's just silly.
My point is, of course you can use whatever language to describe your oppression, and sharing statistics and sources on that is important as well, but if you are trying to sway someone to your side, this is probably not a way to go — because, I can guarantee you, groups 1 and 2 that I mentioned just need some actual context on where lies the issue, since it's very much possible they agree with your sentiment but completely misunderstand the basis. And group 3 will see your statistics about the high percentage of trans men being victims of abuse or assault, laugh and say "not high enough".
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angelsdean · 7 months ago
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I also think this exchange is both SO funny and also very endearing with what Jack actually chooses:
DEAN: All right, so what do you want to do next? I know of a bar near here, little low on class, but high on hook-up potential. Personally, I've never missed at this place. Hm? JACK: Actually, I've kind of got an idea. EXT: Creek. Dean and Jack are fishing.
Dean assumes Jack might want a "last night on earth" type of thing so he suggests a bar with good "hook-up potential." And his following line about never missing at this place especially hilarious given the situation of Dean's current sex life: non-existent. Like when was the last time he hit up this bar? Before Jack was born, probably, given we don't hear about or see him hooking up with anyone since I believe Regarding Dean, where he doesn't even remember it after.
Anyways, point is, Dean's trying to give Jack the perfect day, thinking of all the things someone might want to do before they die, and he doesn't think going fishing with him is high up on Jack's list. He doesn't think spending the whole day with Dean is what Jack would want, because of course Dean isn't thinking spending quality time with him is anyone's top bucket list stuff. But that's what Jack chooses! That's what he wants! And he chooses fishing specifically because of the sentimental value it has for Dean and the fond memories he holds of fishing with his own father.
JACK: You once told me you and your father did the exact same thing. It was your happiest memory of him. DEAN: I didn't say that. JACK: It was how you said it. I could tell. I guess my point is that… if I don't make it...The stuff I'd miss -- it wouldn't be things like Tahiti. Or the Taj Mahal. I'd miss more time with you. I'm getting that life isn't all these big, amazing moments. It's time together that matters. Like this.
Jack doesn't want or need a random hook-up. That's not top tier stuff. What he wants is to spend quality time with the people he loves. Specifically Dean in this moment. And this is surprising to Dean. But Dean and Jack are so similar in a lot of ways and this is a big one. They're both such quality time guys. And they spend a lot of time together off-screen with movie nights alone (Lost Boys. 37 times.)
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iwonderwh0 · 5 months ago
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One more imaginary ooc dynamic that doesn't exist but I like it still
Hank who develops some kind of a deep affection towards Connor (not exactly romantic--although could be--but strong nevertheless) and Connor who's kind of a more robotic version of himself that isn't actually capable of similar sentiments, so even if he wanted, he wouldn't be able to reciprocate it in an equal way. It's not a secret, because he's smart and notices, and Hank doesn't exactly hide it either. Connor kind of just looks at Hank with both pity and confusion. He uses this affection to his advantage sometimes, and he isn't making a secret out of it as well, at least not after realising that it's unnecessary or even after being told in plain words that "You don't have to trick me, you can just ask."
"And you'll do it?"
Hank doesn't answer nor is it really a question as much as just an expression of surprise.
"Why?"
"If you've never felt like it, I don't think I can explain it in a way that makes sense to you."
They both are silent for a moment until Hank goes, "Look, I'll just do it because I want to, alright?"
"I have nothing to give you. You know it, right?"
"I'm not asking you for anything, do I?"
"You'll still expect it and then feel betrayed and disappointed."
"I won't."
"I just know that when it comes to this, your love and sympathy will turn into hatred. I'd prefer it to stay on indifference; it makes life easier for both of us."
"Come on, Con, there was never a moment of indifference between me and you, and we both know that. Besides, too late for that."
"I'll use you."
"Then hurry up and do it now since you don't believe you'll have a chance to do it later."
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pascaloverx · 7 months ago
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Sweet Love
Summary: You're an up-and-coming writer, congratulations. To protect your beloved job, you're willing to do anything. Even strike a deal with the devil, better known as your sister's neighbor. You and Dean Winchester don't really see eye to eye, but in a moment of desperation, you agree to collaborate with him for a greater good.
Author's Notes: Many characters do not belong to me but to the Supernatural Universe (2005-2020). I hope you enjoy the fanfic's story. The fanfic will contain strong language and adult content. Dear readers, I'm here to let you know that if you enjoy this fic, please engage with it. Comments and likes are welcome. I appreciate everyone who follows this fanfic, but I must admit that it might be coming to an end. Anyway, enjoy this chapter.
chapter five chapter seven
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CHAPTER SIX
The first few days avoiding Dean seemed the most complicated. Whether you like it or not, being next-door neighbors and getting used to doing certain things at the same time to meet in secret from Sam made everything more complicated. But by the second week of avoiding the Winchesters, you were already an expert at not running into either of them. That doesn't mean it was easy, though. Today, you finally sent the first draft of your new book to the publisher. So you decided to go out and do some grocery shopping. The store isn't crowded; it's a quiet time to get lost between the dairy and frozen food sections. You don't want to admit it, but even grocery shopping now reminds you of Dean. And you can't stand that.
"Are you sure your brother asked for this type of shampoo? He doesn't seem like the guy who needs to control oily hair." You hear a woman saying this, and it reminds you that you're running low on shampoo too. You head towards the hair care products, and your eyes meet the person you most want to avoid.
"You'd be surprised how much maintenance his hair needs. I need to grab something over there." Dean says loudly enough for you to hear. You try to avoid him by heading into the baby aisle. Now you're surrounded by powders, diaper packs, wet wipes, and formula.
"Can you stop running away from me?" Dean says in an exaggerated manner, definitely grabbing your attention—and the attention of almost everyone in the store.
" I wouldn't have to run if you'd stop coming after me, Winchester." You reply, turning to face him. Now it's just you and him, face to face, with only a shopping cart separating you.
"I doubt you have any idea how much I've wanted to find you these past few weeks. Even though I have no clue what I'd do if I did. It feels strange to say this while you're my neighbor and not long ago we were…" Dean begins to speak, and you look at him as if you don't know what to do. In reality, you have no idea what to do. Fight with him? Reconnect with him? But what exactly would you be reconnecting?"
"We were nothing. Now, can you do us both a favor and move on with your life?" You say, trying to avoid Winchester's gaze.
"For you, does moving forward mean pretending that the other person doesn't exist? Because if so, I don't intend to forget you. Or move on." Dean looks serious about what he's talking about. And you wish you could trust that he's serious about not forgetting you.
"Why would you say that, if you know that we shouldn't mean anything to each other? If you know that you're not over Castiel? If you're here with someone else, you shouldn't be talking to me like that." Your words carry a sentimentality inappropriate for the nature of your relationship with Dean. You both clearly should never have gotten close, since neither of you knows how to be casual about your feelings.
"I talked to him. After what you said. I realized I was being a fool for undervaluing someone who meant so much to me. And I'm here with a friend, not a substitute for you," Dean says, taking another step towards you, keeping his eyes fixed on you.
"And what do you want now? Why do you want to be near me? To apologize for being a jerk? Or to regret ever stepping into my life?" you say, leaving your cart still between you and Dean but moving toward him. Part of you wants to confront him without anything between you, and the other part just wants to forget this argument and jump into his bed.
"I would never regret you. Actually, I regret not being worthy of your attention. But the truth is, I don't know how to function without you anymore. Without waiting for my idiot brother to fall asleep so I can sneak into your place, going to the store to buy anything just to spend time with you, cooking for you after sex because we both get ravenous." Everything he is saying lowers your guard, everything so personal. The truth is, you miss the comfort of having him around. Not thinking about labels or anything else, just being together. Realizing that you are more than his writer neighbor and he is more than your womanizing neighbor.
"What does all this mean, Winchester? You declaring yourself like a lovestruck boy, what exactly does it mean?" Your question seems to surprise him. The truth is it feels like you've been going in circles when it comes to this relationship, if you can even call it a relationship, what you had or have.
"If you want me, it can mean an official relationship with all the trimmings—expectations, sentimentality, companionship, silly romantic dates, and awkward family moments. The full package. In good times and bad, in sickness and in health; until my brother and your sister kill me for breaking the rule of not getting too close to you." Dean says, smiling slightly. You move a bit closer to him, looking him seriously in the eyes. Until you open your arms and move toward him. Missing him outweighs your anger. Dean holds you firmly in his arms, and when you lift your head to look at him, he kisses you gently. A very soft kiss.
"You know you basically just proposed to me, right?" you say as your lips part from Dean's, who laughs.
"Sorry, babygirl, but I think you're the one who wants to marry me. But first, we need to take it slow. I still need to win your sister's approval, and one of us has to tell Sam what's going on," Dean says, and you chuckle at the thought of it. Just then, you hear someone clear their throat behind you. It's Dean's friend, standing there with a basket full of groceries.
"Not that either of you cares, but you can see all this sappy crap from a mile away. I'm Charlie, by the way, and I should let you know that Sam already knows. He actually made me bring Dean to the market to see if he could get over the weird breakup between you two." Charlie extends her hand towards you, and you shake it, feeling a bit awkward about how this is your first meeting.
"I think it's best if we all head home. It's a pleasure to meet you, Charlie. I'll finish my shopping and meet you at the exit." You say, separating from Dean and grabbing your cart again. Before heading back to your shopping, you and Dean share a quick kiss, and as you walk to another section of the market, you can hear Charlie cursing Dean for abandoning her with the groceries.
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