#i would rather write an actual fic at that point
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10 People I'd Like to Know Better
Thanks for the tags @gaiaseyes451 and @beerok23!💜!💜
last song: Gloria by the Lumineers
favourite colour: Red, like a deep luscious red that you know would taste good if you licked it. Don't act innocent, you know exactly what I mean by that. Red is a color that you just know tastes good.
last book: I am currently trying to read the Witcher series (per @lickthecowhappy's suggestion) so I am at the start of the Last Wish
last movie: Moana 2 (I have young kidsssss)
last TV show: My oldest is almost 10 which means she stays up late. Which also means I have so little time to watch adult things. So we've been watching the Office with her. I think I want to watch the Good Place with her next tho (I've never watched it!)
sweet/spicy/savoury: Sweet followed very, very closely by spicy. Habanero maple syrup is one of my favorite things on the planet.
last thing i searched online: How to explain a 10 year career hiatus in a cover letter (looking to return to work since having kids. It's been an interesting experience so far).
current obsession: Have not moved on from Good Omens, but recently realized that my obsession may be more in my own little connected universe of fics that I wrote rather than the actual canon at this point😳. I'm sure once we get that first glimpse of red and white hair that will change very quickly.
looking forward to: Going back to work and having a more established adult life again, honestly. I've been so lucky to be home with my kids while they are young, but I am ready. And figuring out how my newfound passion for writing is going to fit into that new life of mine. Another big year of change over here for me, and I am eagerly looking forward to how the growing pains are going to make way for something beautiful beyond.
ten people i’d like to know better:
@addledmongoose, @di-42, @afrenchwriter, @haemey, @eybefioro, @alwaystuesday, @katspause, @alphacentaurinebula, @shadesofecclescakes, @ochre-sunflower and whoever wants to do it (but also feel free to ignore!)
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I Offer A Half Finished Sonic Fic Snippet (I Think The Context Helps?? IDK) That I Have Zero Memory Of Writing ✨
One time travel-flavoured chaos control later proved that the timeline hates him actually. "Seriously?" Silver muttered, glaring at the flyer for some celebration he wasn't familiar with that proudly boasted a date nearly twenty years further than when he wanted to be. If Silver's math was correct, then Sonic should be in his early thirties at this point in time, assuming the blue hedgehogs' need for speed hasn't run him into an early grave. Which technically meant he was still in the future. And Blaze hadn't specified when exactly she wanted him to check up on Victory Garden in the future. Alright, change of plans. He will go check on Victory Garden now; that way, he can tell Blaze he's seen the garden in the future, so it will technically not be a lie the next time she asks. Then he'd try travelling the additional twenty years back to play timeline cleanup in the background. Easy as pie! In hindsight, Silver should have known something would go wrong; pie is rather difficult to make, after all. Is that an odd thought to have while staring at his own grave in a garden he had made purely to spite the world of fire he had been born into? Probably.
For The Sake Of My Sanity I Will Only Be Tagging A Handful Of People Cause Yikes
@mrowsters @aro-screams-into-the-void @ambersky0319 @gender-luster @halfagone @nonbinary-disaster + Any Other Poor Writers That Wish To Join
Writing meme
rules: post the last line that you wrote and tag someone for every word in the line.
Tagged by @crows-murder! Given I just finished a chapter...
“Miss O’Neil,” Bishop said blandly, coming to a stop by the fire. “And… friends. I do look forward to the story behind this.”
tmw you're just hangin out by an innocent bonfire in the street and the government gets involved smh
I am not tagging that many people lmfao so: @wasted-and-ready, @punctuated-equilibrium, @technicallysublimechild, @controlledspontaneity, @consultingjedi, @calliopechild, and whoever else wants to take this as a tag <3
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So I read Bloodmarked and feel the strong urge to write a 'fix it' fic for a certain love story.
spoilers, obviously
the insane desire to fix the Sel/Bree dynamic - starting in book 1 - is strong
Sel should have remained combative to Bree in book one, not suddenly turn and fall madly in love with her by the end of the book. He should have only stayed with her for duty because she's Arthur's Scion and it should have been made clear in the story that it was killing him staying with Bree because he's bonded to Nick.
He should have still been combative as she doesn't want to stay hidden, but it should have been 100% duty as to why he was staying with her and protecting her.
BREE should have actually done things to change his mind, not just be the main character. She should have studied past Order dangers they faced and how they overcame them, she should have kept training with weapons and her aether, she should have actually DONE things to try to get Nick back (giving updates after her bloodwalks), and should have worked tirelessly to help others and learn enough to really help in this war.
AND she should have shown how she's different from just any other Scion - she should have pushed for a different perspective, sought out others to help in the battle since she does know about others who use magic. She should have pushed for inclusion and bringing everyone into this fight in the ways they can instead of just leaving it to the Order. She should have researched more about Merlins through this study of magic and perhaps pointed out inconsistencies in the official records, she should have gotten empathy after seeing how much is expected of Merlins and the standards they have to keep and the punishments if they don't - giving her understanding for Sel's position and why he behaved the way he did in book 1. She should have kept in touch with the Lieges who are part of this war, but have different perspectives too.
They should have SEEN each other DOING things to protect people and fight demons SEPARATELY rather than Sel only existing to protect Bree when she's done something stupid or someone is after her. Bree should have DONE something other than run around helpless and complaining about being helpless until she explodes with power.
They should have learned to RESPECT each other for their own actions and histories and seeing how hard each other are trying to do the right thing - and always butting heads because their methods are so different. KEEP the arguments! KEEP the conflicting perspectives - but have them argue with RESPECT for each other, pleading their own cases, but never devolving to petty shit since, you know, they should be focused on protecting people from Camlann.
---
THEN.
THEN! When Bree is attacked and is bleeding out and Sel gives all his energy to keep her alive, THAT'S when he realizes that he's not just saving her because she's the Crown Scion, he's saving her because she's Bree. He can't stop thinking about what would be taken from the world if BREE is dead (her desire to bring together the different communities, her desire to help others even when she can't access her power, her questioning of long-held beliefs and push back on how Merlins are treated and how enslaved all the Legendborn are to the Order's rules down to who they're allowed to marry and her desire to change that) and that he didn't think once about the cost to the Order or the Lines. THEN we can have his change and the slow burn enemies-to-lovers become apparent.
Nix all this 'you're the most strongest, beautifulest, bravest, phenomenal person I've ever met' bullshit - since he can't give examples of her ever being those things! If you think you can come up with reasons, give me some that don't revolve around her power or her attempting to claim her authority - give me some examples of her ACTUALLY HELPING people. As it stands, the narrative only gives us 'Bree is super powerful and pretty and that's enough to make her brave' - no actual action on her part, just how she was born.
Idk, all the tension was just like......we GET IT! She and Sel LIKE EACH OTHER!!! The narrative just has to have arbitrary reasons they can't be together even though they're very clearly attracted to each other! Sel was super concerned about her being out to hurt Nick in book 1, then 180 and he's in love with her now. It's ok for him to be annoyed that she's in the middle of this and she has no idea what she's doing! It's ok that he's annoyed she has such little frame of reference as to how to fight this war and lead the Order! It's ok if he's still annoyed at her in book 1 because he thinks Nick deserves a bodyguard who actually knows what they're doing!
It really pissed me off that Sel started out as a cool, very hard and sharp character, then once he decided he didn't want to kill Bree anymore, he became a completely soft butterball of a person. LET GRAY CHARACTERS KEEP THEIR EDGES!! Stop smoothing their rough parts once we're on the 'to lovers' path!!
Their whole contention could be that she's studied the Order and sees all the ways it needs to change and offer solutions - maybe specifically how the Merlins are treated - and Sel could push back because of all his self-loathing and fear of himself that the Order pushed in him and so he's always playing 'devil's advocate' for the Order and all their methods of control. Stay in line and you stay safe - they've kept Onceborn safe all these years, why fix what isn't broke and risk the chaos that would bring - chaos demons feed on. Bree could push back on him arguing 'WHO' is being helped, WHO has been kept safe? Rootcrafters hunted down by the Order? Onceborn POC who are subjugated under Vassal power given to them by the Order but wielded in the Onceborn world? The Legendborn who have no control over their lives? The Lieges who will die early because of their curse?
Have Sel and Bree actually bring up real and nuanced themes to explore in the story instead of petty shit like it was. Make their arguments MEAN something more than just 'I'm worried for your safety/You're smothering me'.
Make their rivalry real, make Bree's character DO something, and make Sel begin to question his fear of himself and the control the Order brings him. THEN they can start to have feelings for each other based on concrete actions and who each other are, not just 'oh no, he's hot'.
#bloodmarked critical#bloodmarked spoilers#bloodmarked#selwyn kane#bree matthews#briana matthews#legendborn#legendborn critical#legendborn spoilers#this whole series is an exercise in 'omg so much wasted potential'#and 'omg why is no one talking about the SYSTEMS!!???'#poorly written enemies to lovers is fix it fic fodder
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Yeah, fuck Kuro season 2 demon non-existant relationships. I'm writing a fic and rewriting all their backstories. Some, but not all of the ideas im gonna put/already put in it, so let me know if they suck or whatever: - Hannah and Claude met in Hell. Despite their fundamental differences they created a symbiotic partnership to survive literal hellhole. (not eagerly, more like work together or die horribly situation) - They are not together and never will be involved romantically. But they are platonically married. And with time even dumbass like Claude has to admit that they are friends. - Claude's eyes (all 8 of them in true form) were severely injured in a fight prior, rendering him basically blind. - Hannah acts as his eyes (transferring her vision to him with magic) and also lures other demons into his webs. They share their pray. Before meeting each-other they were both on the brink of starvation. - All demons are cannibals in hell. It's literally like a deep sea situation. Everything is dark, nothing grows and the only way to survive is to eat someone, before someone eats you. (human soles are off limit, they physically can't eat something already dead.) - Claude being a cold fucker, saying "survival of the fittest" is fair, Hannah gets to a lil bit change his mined by offering to kill him right there and then, cause without her, this blinded spider would be long dead. - I'm actually gonna give Hannah some ideology and say she believes that demons deserve to have a meaningful life with emotions and bonds. She also has had a lot of beef with angels in the past. - The demon sword is hers, she uses it frequently in the fights (no, Claude doesn't get his eight grabby hands on in). - It's Hannah's idea to take in three teenage demons (the triplets). Claude absolutely hates the idea, but she forces him to do it. Mainly she reminds him that he saved his life when they first meet. He offers to take one and eat the other two. That doesn't amuse her so he sees a bit worse for the next several hours. Im gonna stop here but like tldr. Triplets and later Alois see Hannah and Claude as their fucked up family. I'll also write about Seb, probably Sebaclaude. Probably in the same "universe" as those idea, but as a separate fic so people who don't want just Gen - won't be forced to sit through a big portion of just found family stuff. A lot more domestic headcanons. Like the fact that Hannah would be the one to teach triplets how to fly in demon form cause Claude doesn't have wings. Or Triplets forming older brothers relationship with Alois, but their perspective of what's good is kinda fucked. So they just teach him really dangerous things. Like how to create a nail-bomb. I'm still gonna write it, but i also wanna know if you guys are interested in something like that.
#kuroshitsuji#claude faustus#hannah annafellows#kuroshitsuji triplets#kuroshitsuji alois#kuroshitsuji fanfiction#alois trancy#im a bit tired#i could write like 25 more ideas for that#but like#i would rather write an actual fic at that point#who want to read just bullet points#also about hell#other then just a horrible place to be#i feel like it just HAS TO HAVE floating ruins of gothic architecture#like you know#for the atmosphere#also every demon hates hell#its a huge fight every time when the portal to human world opens#no one wants to be in this... hellhole#ive already joked like that#im gonna go sleep now#bye bye#drink some water or whatever#garf posts
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hi im bothering u guys for writing tips again
how do i stop deleting entire chunks of a fic and getting stuck in the cycle of constantly deleting and rewriting
#OK EXAMPLE#bc this is usually the situation that occurs#im writing this fic#and i just wrote this scene which i feel like would make a much better inciting incident rather than what i wrote in the *actual* exposition#however if i delete everything from the exposition to make this new scene the new plot point 1 pacing-wise#ill basically be starting over again and will have to change everything that happens even after this scene#which i know if i do that ill just keep going and going and the entire plot of the story is just going to be pointless#should i just like#keep the order of the scenes as they are and instead edit them slightly so they fit better pacing wise???#♡alizeh talks♡
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Just my thoughts—as a fandom hermit of sorts.
Creating for nobody but yourself is actually discouraging when it's done repulsively. You'll feel its hard slap later down the line—unless your inner reader began to enjoy you as an author. They will gradually subside your inner critic and might teach them few lessons in how to appreciate maybe not the work itself—who of us doesn't have an one we dislike in some way?—but the craftwork went behind its creation.
How to do that?
Surprisingly easy.
Watch your creative decisions. Introspect. See yourself in your work.
You are inseparable in some way or another, your reflection is present within it, and by that I imply how you felt writing it and why did you think something would or wouldn't work. The only one who usually know is you, so, if you feel something is wrong, it probably is. The best is the enemy of the good, yes, but I'm not talking about perfectionism. I'm talking about the need to listen to that tingle and being able to assess it before editing.
Perfectionism is, in a sense, artistic pessimism. It tells you everything is wrong but it can't be an objective truth. Then some scenes must be wrong, and alright, good, the field is narrowed down. Which ones? Where? Why? At that point, put the work away for a day or two, then re-open, re-see, realise, that yes, that could be improved, except it isn't a scene. It's a sloppy word choice. It changed the sentence, that avalanched into a little rearrangement, and voila, everything works.
You fight the pessimistic outlook with a little bit of rest.
The more you learn how to treat your work, the more you might grow excited to try new things and not because you want to show them to the world but first to yourself.
That little part of you is who actually matter. Learn to love these little emotion abstractions. Care for the little guy, nurse them, feed them different ideas, styles, work them up to your master and see yourself forming in directions you'd never thought you would be able to simply because them—you—wanted to try something new. It would not matter if those were successful or not; when the entire process is a journey, the output's performance begins to matter very little.
Besides, the little guy would want company—and that's when other people come in. The reader doesn't like negative responses or no responses at all, true. Know who does? Your inner critic.
They're all too eager to overthink things and they're the perpetrator of your pessimism. So make them analyse why something clicks for many people and why something goes under their radar, make them a little analytics-building machine (which is also a skill), and just keep its outputs close in case you're curious how different fandoms or communities work. It's mostly a useless information. But you will be certain about things, and certainty brings comfort.
It will help to find readers in case you'd need more, too. Or if you'd like to meet someone new. But is it a guaranteed method? No, it isn't. Sometimes you'll write the most influential fandom monsterfic and all these people will pass by. Othertimes you'd write the smallest fic in the fandom but all its people will get around it because they liked your take on things or became curious with your ideas—and they can actually stuck around. You may never know. Fandom isn't business, it is rather a wild fair with barely predictable events in its main mystery.
Besides.
You can't make yourself a miracle to everyone; but be the miracle to yourself, and people will notice it and will try to comprehend you. Be Original, they say. They lie. They want the same jacket but red. Or the same jacket but sewn from kelps. Be Familiar But Be Outland-ish. Do your thing, that everybody else does, in your own fascinating way. Be the artist after all, be that bitch and leave people with the art-shaped holes in their thoughts.
I used to play an instrument once. I was bad at it, well, I was taught poorly and was only ever learning how to play from the sheets. It never go outwith or far and the instrument is long-sold, but I'm still able to recall the emotions I had while playing it. Heartbeat was the metronome, the hands were going in perfect synch, the entire body was able to feel the timings, and at some point, it wasn't simply the flow and going along with it. It was being the flow. The architect behind its creation—well, yes, the music wasn't mine, but being able to recreate it and make it sound as it supposed to sound was utterly captivating, enamouring, absolutely wondrous experience.
Years later I became enamoured with the writing—the process of it. If I manage to build the flow correctly and sail down my own rivers with little to no bump, unless planned, I'm overjoyed and amazed.
But will it go far? How well will it perform? Sometimes I do care if I know people might be interested, but beyond that, it's just doing its thing and bringing me joy because it's a puzzle, because it's a never-ending fascination—and because it's even more than that when done in the completely different tongue. And people take to it. Because it looks fun, perhaps, or it's something they had rarely seen before done in the language, or maybe it's just the way I tend to pick words and arrange them. I always get different answers. But what I know for certain: that something I found within me works both for me and people liking my things.
That what matters.
It all might sound a tad bit mental but it's so important to be in harmony with yourself as an author, as a reader, and as your own critic—who else knows you as much as you? Don't forget the people you have—the crowds will come and go, but the friends will stay.
Maybe this is a hot take, but as creative people, our #1 priority in our work should be ourselves.
It is not, AND SHOULD NEVER BE, what would get us the most engagement. Dispel "content creation," popularity, and monetization from your brain. Write, paint, draw what you want to! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!
The people who resonate with it will eventually show up. But the people who don't? Who cares???? The art you personally create is meant to help you heal, to help you express, to bring you joy and pain!!!!
You need to learn how to work on something because you deeply care for it and can revel in that self-satisfaction. Of course recognition feels fucking great! We all want it. We are humans, but you need to stop creating with the idea of other people consuming your work!!!
Give into the art movement. Create a renaissance for yourself. Fuck other people. Be that bitch! People are not going to be in your lives forever, and when you're left to your own devices, you should be able to look at what you've created and fucking love it.
#днявочка: реблог#being rambly at 8am hee hee#yes it can be argued friends aren't easy to make but ask yourself this: do you want friends for their quantity or quality?#it also can be argued that im talking about the unachievable things. but i exist. and i never did imply it's a short journey#and this:#DONT CALL CREATIVE WORK CONTENT#is absolutely correct. you're not a content creator. you are an artist#content is something you put on a website to fill up the space; a filler. art leaves impressions and cut holes and gets stuck with people
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just found out that Sonya is older than Yaz. need 3-5 business days to process this
#why they wrote and directed Sonya to have the most little sister energy I’ve ever seen if she’s older is anyone’s guess#also the ‘can you cook now??’ line feels odd if Sonya’s older? like yeah she’s 25 by now i should hope so#if she was 18 in s12 as I’d guessed previously that line would make more sense#BUT this does recontextualise a LOT especially for Can You Hear Me#because the dynamic shifts to Sonya being an adult who is so worried for her baby sister (a teenager)#rather than a younger teenager worrying about the older#adds a different dimension to CYHM#what’s also interesting is would Sonya actually be younger by the time Yaz finishes travelling with the Doctor?#by my count Yaz is around 27 by the end of s13. if we could each series as a year real time Sonya would also be 27#(I’m counting three years because that’s the number of new year specials they had)#depending on birthdays Yaz could be older#big sister Sonya is sort of growing on me as a concept because i need her to give the Doctor the shovel talk in the most violent fashion#still feels weird though I’ll need to get used to it#maybe I’ll write some fic of big sister Sonya through the years to retrain my brain#this is probably an argument for making the characters closer to the actors’ ages but y’know I grew up accepting Billie as a 19 year old so#plus I’m a big theatre fan so y’know i have a lot of suspension of disbelief in terms of actor ages#it was Sonya’s behaviour that confused me and made me assume she was younger#this IS putting bonus points in my autistic yaz hc though. bet when her sister misbehaved yaz was praised for being ‘mature’
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i feel like they basically tried to transpose the storyline/dynamic btwn coa and mary boleyn from tobg in tsp (with coa and bessie blount) and realllly overdid what was already well-done and entertaining.
#im gonna be honest — pgreg has a way more entertaining style of writing than EF and who else was it . graham?#also had they stuck with that alba galocha would have done it MUCH better .#i mean same with tcp. if im being honest …#but the majority of the novel of tcp is her marriage with Arthur and they did noooot follow that model at all#hviii in that book is just the runner-up. he idolizes her but she doesn’t love him#it actually spoke well to the emotional truth of like ….#hviii’s pattern of idealization and devaluation#he did the same thing w / AB (she just wasn’t fortunate — relatively — enough to have the end be exile rather than execution )#also all these Seymour asks are making me think of boleyn counterfactuals which would diverge at that point instead ….#someone write that fanfic bcus i would read the hell out of it#(i kid . it already exists in variations and ive pretty much read all of them#it tends to be analogous to COA’s demotion as Princess of wales ; Anne’s in these fics is usually keeping the title marquess of pembroke)#eyyyye… would read another one tho#I’d be more interested in another epistolary one that has the remnants of the boleyn/howard party talking mad smack about the Seymours 😂#to like the resident French ambassador and such#much like the Aragonese / Marian party did re: the boleyn party to Chapuys
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evidently i need to have at least three works rotating at my head at any one time, bc i just started on zombie apocalypse AU tes/hes
anyway does anyone have suggestions for the setting. the only thing i got going for it right now is that it literally takes the world ending for hestio to go "hey wait maybe i should do something about my feelings". normally i would redact homophobia out of a story altogether, but in the case of tes/hes i think them feeling like they can't realistically get together is an important part of their dynamic. in the canon universe i used the vatican's "sacred sheep can't get married" stance, but for this AU i replaced it with general modern-day homophobia (rip)
it's going to be a modern AU instead of being set in the canon universe, because canon universe tesilid already has enough problems without a zombie apocalypse and i can't deal with all that.
which 1) means that he won't have his stigmata restrictions? which means (gasp) he probably dated at some point?? some people would have asked him out - him being extremely handsome is an important part of his character after all. and with his pushover personality i think he would have gone out with some people and have had some extremely terrible experiences. which tbh is sad bc i do want this AU to be exploring the both of them having their first romantic relationship 🤔 so maybe i'll change that up idk
i think tesilid will still be very stuffy and proper even without the restrictions by having some crazy strict and controlling guardian. plus, tutorial era tesilid did have a very strong moral compass, he is intrinsically motivated to do good and help others.
2) tbh i also want them to be adults in this AU though because lowkey i don't want to deal with writing teenagers lmao, and they're already 20 in canon. we didn't really get to see their teenage years so i don't really know how to write them at that age.
i can't think of what jobs to give them though. all three of them are definitely tied to jobs they kind of hate, although tesilid doesn't outwardly show it and he's a top performer at whatever it is that he's doing. i thought of tying them down to a modern AU version of the vatican, but the only thing i can think of that takes in a bunch of children and milks them of their worth is uh. very criminal and illegal. and i'm not sure that such an unethical organisation would keep its children alive until adulthood. while i'm sure that tesilid could be made an exception, hestio & ephael would probably be too average to be spared.
oh and also ephael isn't in this AU because i don't know what to do with him. he wasn't with them when the zombies hit and they haven't seen hide nor hair of him since. i'm sure he's fine tho! 😀
#mimin trying to write#the 2nd trio fic just sitting there 90% done sorry ill get to you next month or something#anyway#teshes#zombie au#anw pointing at the snippet there one of my favourite parts abt tes/hes is how i went 'ok hestio youve been in love for years'#bc its funnier that way#and it means that he's actually very comfortable with his feelings#he just doesnt show it because there's no point#or rather bc it would just cause more trouble#it makes for a very different dynamic than tesi/lette because. lmao. girlie is so deep in denial#the duality of hestio going 'damn i love this man (fond)' and 'why the fuck is he so stupid (self-destructive and self-sabotaging) im going#to beat the shit out of him'
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spent another day fully indoors today and TODAY i have written a new draft of the muppets fic. it's a much better draft! i'm excited about it! but i'm struggling to Let It Sit so i can actually edit it instead of just posting it for the instant gratification
i already did that yesterday with the other fic! now this fic gets to steep a little bit
#sb and l rambles#sb and l is writing#fic: it's time to meet the muppets#god i love rewriting fic it's so much fun and it makes me feel so capable#i still do wanna rewrite 13 meets martha but at this point it's been so long that it would basically be a different fic#still trying to decide if i actually want to write a REMIX of a previous fic rather than just an edit#i think it would be a fun exercise but. idk. i think there is a danger of me just endlessly rewriting things#instead of working on new stuff
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gonna pivot a little to something i've been thinking about. i know my own fic also has this tendency to present jenny as someone who's at odds with/constrained by her family, and i have always been of the mind that this is a rock solid aspect of her character. she is an oddball who doesn't fit in with what the rest of her family wants, and who is frustrated with herself for NOT fitting in. that's pretty consistent. but there is this tightrope line between writing that and writing a situation where her family (the only romani rep we see) becomes this nebulous presence in the background Being Terrible, and that does carry with it some complicated/unfortunate connotations.
#musings#there's not really a point to this post! just that it's something i wanna be more mindful of as i continue to write#i think my earlier fic (and even some of the stuff i've put out recently!)#can lean into that a little more than i would like#and i wanna have this moment be a reminder to me and also maybe others to like . think about this as we write?#i know it's not smth i worry about TOO much in what you make tho because we have a wealth of other positive romani characters there#(hello nora <3)#but it's just . something to keep in mind. maybe the focus needs to be on jenny's disconnect#rather than on how These People Are Terrible Actually.
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This may be the depression speaking + the earliest trauma I've ever gone thru (completely accidental as well), but I think it's kinda pointless to give me gifts. I have clothes that still fit me and are in excellent condition. I have shoes. I have a sizeable movie collection (that tbf I can always add to), and all the books I'd want. I don't paint anymore so it's useless giving me art supplies. And unfortunately even giving me money is hilariously pointless bcus I'm not even gonna spend it on anything, I'm just gonna put it into my savings account and keep living day by day as I do: doing nothing...interesting
#post#how am I this lifeless at fucking 25 dude. holy shit#vent#personal#my hobbies are watching movies. then writing fic. this if I can even squeeze it in between my classes#(sighs) I'd told my mom at the beginning of the semester that I won't be able to go out anymore#she didn't believe me#she's always desperate to get me to go outside to some event or the other n I'd rather just not go bcus well! I don't have any friends#either so it's like. it's just the 2 of us#I like hanging out w her but man walking around n seeing everything doesn't take as long as you'd think#man this is so sad. and pathetic. I should just straight up die#that's another thing today we went to costco n I went to see if this math book I saw like a week or 2 ago was still there n it's not#I wasn't able to find it online either n it sent me into such a pit of despair that like. wow this sucks#I want so many things!!! and I don't ask for any of them bcus; going to my first point!!!; what'd be the fucking point!!!#the hilarious accidental trauma was that I was 2 and wanted a horse book n threw a tantrum about it#n then my mom took me home n sternly yet calmly explained how she couldn't get it for me n would be able to get it at another time#the thing is is that no one around me wants to acknowledge that I'm autistic so this event resulted in me taking it dead serious literally#and my 2 yr old brain understood it to mean 'never ask for anything ever anymore'#I've never thrown a tantrum since but I HAVE swallowed up and repressed every single desire I've had for material things#hmmm is that why I tend to choose experiences sometimes. like trips n stuff. bcus it's not an actual physical thing#was just thinking earlier how my future therapist might find me annoying in that half the work is done in that I keep learning things about#myself a little Too Well#the only therapist I've had up until now was a lady at my uni campus who could only see me for 2 months until she moved to another uni#n she told me. 'your problem is that you're too logical. you're too aware of yourself. you need to allow yourself to feel something'#like!!! don't I know that all too well!!!#hmm is that ALSO perhaps why I'm having more visible meltdowns?#then again I hate crying in front of my parents. it feels like I'm just. man we always joke about me being a spoiled brat bcus I'm an only#child but maaaaaaaaan. it always feels like I never appreciate things n that they Know this n I'm constantly never living up to my#high potential. bcus I'm so spoilt n everything n beneath me somehow#idk man. one day I'll just tell my therapist to follow me on tumblr n analyze me via my tags
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beating back my own ambitions like look i have a hard enough time reigning in my own ideas dont be pulling this shit
#i am. an ambitious person. who has a general lack of motivation lmao#salty talks#anyways. i wouldnt make this its own post to talk about it but i did come up with a decent visual idea for the bellumbeck fic#NOT the shipfic no its the fic thats like. whats going on during that possession final boss stuff. yknow that subgenre of ph fics#and i want to eventually write that fic so i dont want to like. commit to any visuals that require it to be in a visual medium#but like with the preface that im somewhat into gore and have established the effects possession has on linebeck and how it injures him#and i kinda like the idea of linebeck's irl wounds showing up and being present on his body in the little mental thing where he interacts#with bellum but its never acknowledged like you see it like slights burns on his limbs and just this huge wound on his back#for my self indulgent gore enjoying bone enjoying self i almost want to make it an exaggerated version- like worse than it ends up irl#(ig since at that point in time its just straight up an open wound since it properly cauterizes when bellum is removed)#just leaning into the idea of the whole thing being an uncanny disorienting dreamlike nightmare scenario#his body is reflecting this horrible wound hes gotten and in any other case he would be in agony with the burns n exposed muscle and bone#but within this space he and bellum are it might as well just not exist since neither seem to notice; it's just there#tbh the extent of what the back wound like. is. is something i need to play with more. bc there is some underlying magical supernatural#bs going on with how that actually like. doesnt kill him. i have it somewhere between a burn and a bit of that section of his back torn off#like uhhhh. i said it in a different post like bellum burns (some acid shit i imagine the purple stuff is like acid) into his back and#kinda just establishes a very physical bodily connection rather than anything too magical like the possession is more biological or w/e#which means i need to look more into lingering effects anyways even as just stuff that never goes beyond that initial recovery period#anyways! another chapter of salty lightly describing linebeck gore ideas ive got at least two now
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good lird they did not make a gimmick blog about a real life murder
#someone fucking DIED but whatever who gives a shit it's funny i guess
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🥚 eggvidenced Follow
honestly with how suspicious and confusing everything on the dl-6 case was i wouldn't be surprised if it came out that it was that prosecutor guy tbh
🌟 rockliker270 Follow
date posted: june 23, 2010
1,834,853 notes
⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow
🌟 rockliker270 Follow
ok hear me out. what abt winston payne though
🧊 just--ice Follow
okay now they're just making lawyers up
#also didn't mvk die or something?
28,932 notes
🔥 triedbyfire Follow
why the fuck are you people still posting about the gavinners as if theyre not copaganda. didn't the guitarist get convicted of murder
🎸 guiltiest-lovers837 Follow
so fucking tired of this "um um didn't daryan get convicted of murder" YEAH AND HE'S LITERALLY NOT IN THE FUCKING BAND ANYMORE. dipshit
🔥 triedbyfire Follow
are you gonna address the copaganda thing or
1,092 notes
🌻 attorneybout Follow
he's so. 😳
📂 trialanderror Follow
why is he defending
📂 trialanderror Follow
OP WHY IS HE DEFENDING???
24,374 notes
🦈 giantlakemonsters Follow
i just wanna hear about another gourdy sighting thats all
🥜 liberdeez Follow
op. i'm so sorry op. gourdy isn't real you have to let her go. they had a whole trial about it.
🔐 wrightorwrong Follow
hi!! so this isn't actually the case as while gourdy was briefly mentioned in a trial, said trial had nothing to do with whether or not gourdy was "real" per se as much as. well. murder, actually. while gourdy WAS found out to be an inflatable steel samurai this was not brought up in the case at all as the veracity of gourdy wasn't really as relevant as the fact that the witness was looking for gourdy rather than at the murder she claimed to have seen. plus this was also a relatively small part of a MUCH larger trial which for those interested not only solved the dl-6 case but ALSO marked the end of prosecutor von karma's ~40 year long record and the court records are really a fascinating read through!!
🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow
net 0 information post
#thanks again lawblr
94,834 notes
🍒 cherriescoola Follow
btw i was at the park the other day and klavier gavin (of gavinners fame) was there and obv there was a huge crowd but this guy was there with him and at some point he (the other guy) waved to the crowd and someone still screamed like it was klavier??? who was that guy ive never seen him before in my life
2,284 notes
🩸 has-dl6-been-solved-yet Follow
December 28, 2016
YES!!!
702,947 notes
🪙 tellerlikeitis Follow
guys help i'm a bank teller and this guy just introduced himself as robin banks what do i do
🔪 violencekilling Follow
you gotta let him rob you that's the law
302,948 notes
👻 ghostesswiththemostest Follow
look if i ever get convicted of murder im just hiring the lawyer with the coolest sounding name
💼 courtofwaw Follow
bestie if you already got convicted it is Too Late
62,193 notes
📋 lawandwhoreder Follow
guys i know it's real fun to think people just can predict whatever but if you look at the earliest reblogs of that post that "guessed" the true killer in the dl-6 case it was actually a post about how they didn't want to go to the store. clearly edited
#stg nobody bothers to factcheck anything anymore
7,293 notes
🐺 lawnewolf Follow
i am NOT homophobic or whatever the fuck you guys are saying now i just think its weird to write fanfiction about realass people?? go touch grass ffs
🌈 lawsbian Follow
the fun police (this guy) putting me in yaoi court but the lawyers (phoenix witrght and miles edgeworth) just keep trying to make out (real court is like this too btw)
🐺 lawnewolf Follow
YOU HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.
#look idc what your enemies to lovers fic bullshit says #they're straight. and more importantly REAL PEOPLE. #there's TENSION because they are in COURT and there are LIVES on the LINE. #not because they wanna fuck. god.
12,293 notes
🔮 inhighspirits Follow
why dont they just ask the spirit mediums to ask the victims who killed them this law shit is easy
837,495 notes
💞 lawveyourself Follow
seriously i cant believe they gave this guy a law degree
💞 lawveyourself Follow
what do you mean evidence fraud
503,893 notes
🎧 instrumentalillness Follow
fuck you *unguilties your love*
384,568 notes
🎀 copiicat Follow
perjury isnt illegal btw in fact if youre one of tge witnesses youre legally required to lie on the stand. thats why everyone does it. trust me
#ace attorney#ace attorney spoilers#dashboard simulator#dash simulator#dashboard sim#dash sim#unreality#fake dashboard#fake dash#post simulator#long post#average day on lawblr i think#'op what is the timeframe for this' not applicable people reblog 10 year old posts on here all the time /lh#but sometime after turnabout serenade.#'isn't one of these urls a real blog' yeah she wanted to be included /lh
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*whispers* Viktor never once says anything mean or belittling to Jayce after they become partners. Not one insulting "you" statement, not one disagreement where he doesn't remained focused on the point of contention. He never makes ad hominem attacks, he never insults Jayce's appearance or intelligence.
Literally the single meanest thing he says to Jayce that could be considered a "you" statement is "Your mind has become rigid." Basically, he's saying that Jayce has suffered so much recently that it's closed his mind to broader intellectual possibilities like, that is barely an insult, and clearly Viktor just means it as a statement of fact, if not a challenge for Jayce to joyously consider possibilities again. And by the way? That statement is when Viktor is in his full his villain arc. It's remarkable because it's the only time he's pointed out a perceived flaw in Jayce since the night when he questioned if Jayce signed his notes out of being egotistical.
From the moment Jayce told Viktor about how beautiful magic could be, arguably once Jayce became a person to Viktor rather than a subject of academic discipline or skepticism, Viktor has not once leveled a personal attack against him as a person. Not even during the fight on the bridge. Not even when he called Jayce's Councilor work a waste of our time. Not even when Jayce was considering making Hextech weapons, Viktor still remained focused on the substance of the argument, expressed incredulity, anger, even disgust that Jayce would consider making weapons, but he never said it was because Jayce was stupid or privileged or blind. He pointed out specifically that he knew Jayce felt trapped by the decision, he knew Jayce was being manipulated, and then, in a very pointed manner, Viktor reminded Jayce that there's always a choice, challenging Jayce to stand firm and do what was right.
Even when they parted ways in 2.02, Viktor didn't say there was anything wrong with Jayce. He just said their paths had diverged, again not saying anything was wrong with Jayce, or even his choices, but rather that they're two different people who had stayed together longer than their diverging goals normally would have allowed because of the affection they held for each other.
I don't know, I get why people write Viktor as catty or mean or dismissive of Jayce. There's definitely some quotes from the day they met, before they become partners, that lend to the idea that Viktor can be quite dry and sharp with others. And conflict is the stuff of good fiction so again, totally get putting some conflict between him and Jayce in fic.
But I also think there's a tendency in derivative works like fic to Flanderize the characters, or worse, put them into narrow archetype boxes that are vastly different from their more interesting and nuanced canon selves.
How many times have we seen a wiggly man/straight man or blue vs. red personality partnership duo? How often have we seen those partners not be able to fucking stand each other, who are bickering all the time, who are snide or backtalk, or are perpetually sarcastic?
It's so common that I get why people see it with Jayce and Viktor but that's why it's so damn fascinating to me that they aren't like that.
Jayce and Viktor don't suffer each other unwillingly at any point, even when they're having a goddamn flying superhero fight in the final episode they're talking about how they're happy to see each other and praying that the other will please step away from this destructive path! They don't want to hurt each other, even verbally!
During the years of their partnership, they're constantly delighted by the other's presence, they are instantly comfortable together and never have a bad word to say to or about each other. They actually don't bicker! When they have disagreements, they stay entirely focused on the point of the disagreement and they never dip into personal attacks of any kind.
Even the tone of the time Jayce yells at him on the bridge, arguably their most acrimonious moment in the whole first season, isn't an actual argument, no more than a parent yelling at their child for running into traffic is an argument. Jayce says awful things but it's clear his anger comes from fear for Viktor and for their precarious situation. And it's clear this is a deeply unusual moment for both of them, Viktor is taken aback at how unusual it is, Jayce once called out backs down immediately, arguably because it's so unnatural for them to fight at all that it takes the wind out of the sails of Jayce's anger instantly when he realizes he's crossed a line.
No one can drag a bad word about Viktor out of Jayce, and vice versa! When Singed implies that Viktor might lose loved ones over his choices, Viktor immediately (and correctly!) states that Jayce will understand.
They are rigorously protective of one another too. Arguably all the times Viktor excludes Jayce from his Hexcore experiments in S1 is to protect him from his reckless and likely illegal experiments (as well as not wanting Jayce to stop him and wanting to live, but it can be many things). Jayce constantly cites Viktor as his partner and constantly reiterates that Viktor is his priority in life, that saving Viktor comes first. Jayce overthrows the goddamn founder of the city in order to protect Viktor!
Jayce's love for Viktor is so extreme that literally in S2, the only person who can convince Jayce to hurt Viktor, after seeing the post-apocalyptic Hell of a future that is caused by him, is Viktor himself. Jayce doesn't even get mad at Viktor after he learns Viktor is the cause of what he saw! He is instead desperate to get back, to avert the damage caused by their joint work in Hextech, and saved Viktor from the fate worse than death that is Mage Viktor's total isolation in the aftermath. And every step of the way, even knowing what he knows it's clear he's in agony at the thought of having to raise a hand to Viktor at all.
Now of course I'm getting into just how insane their love for one another gets in S2, but I just feel so baffled sometimes reading fic where Viktor is constantly undercutting, insulting, or belittling Jayce every which way. He never once does that after the partnership begins. And it makes me so insane because we have so many partnerships in media that do devolve into sarcasm, cattiness, and backbiting but Jayce and Viktor aren't one of them and that's really really fucking interesting and worthy of exploration I think.
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