#remus lupin x potter!reader

[unconventional-lawnchair]

...Too Late."

Remus Lupin x Potter!Reader

Summary: Remus comes to terms with a love lost to his own insecurities.

CW; Use of {Y/N}, Remus is dumb, yearning}

Wc: 3706

Part two

The cold night air nipped at Remus’s skin with an intensity he wasn't familiar with. He kept himself focusing on anything other then the bright lights and muffled music behind him.

He wasn't unused to the parties the Potters would throw, they were always over the top and loud, especially when James planned them. Remus would always do his rounds, speak to people he hasn't spoken to since Hogwarts, and then disappear in some quiet corner with one of Lily’s many books. Tonight? He would do anything to go home.

It wasn't the party, it wasn't his friends, for once it wasn't Sirius’s obnoxious drunken stunts. Nothing like that could send the werewolf running with his tail between his legs.

Of course, it could only be you.

“Woah, pretty cold out here, hm?” Your voice called out into the balcony from where you peaked out the door. Remus grimaced, what did he expect? Of course you would come looking for him. You two were best friends.

“Something on your mind, little Lupin?” You persisted despite his lack of acknowledgement. Remus would have rolled his eyes if he could keep the small smile off his face. You had a talent for making him feel a million emotions at once.

Ever since the day James introduced him to his older sister, the Quidditch captain, turned prefect, turned head girl. Now? Celebrated Auror. A full fledged detective.

Here he was, two years graduated and already falling behind. When he was younger, you were so unobtainable. Gone before he even hit year five. There, he could pretend that his heart didn't ache at your name, that you weren't always on his mind, that he didn't spend sleepless nights telling Lily just how much it pained him to know he'd never be worth your time.

He felt like a sap. Like a sad excuse of a man to know you hadn't spent a minute thinking about him the ways he thought of you.

“Remus?” Your voice was closer this time. You had your hands on the railing and were looking at him with such sweet eyes. Ones he remembered from his nights up in the hospital wing, with you reciting old notes from your previous years you had kept, while others studied in the classrooms.

“Hey, {Y/N}.” He mumbled and you clearly grimaced, making him look away from you.

“Have I...” You fiddled with your fingers, looking off at the manor you grew up running around. “Have I done something wrong, Remus?”

“What?” He whispered and turned to face you fully, his face falling hard. He had the chance to fully take you in. You were beautiful, but he knew that. Your hair was shorter then he remembered, your eyes were brighter, you looked.. happier. But even then, you were frowning, your brows furrowed, and it was because of him.

You gave a half sigh half scoff as you gestured between the two of you. “I haven't seen you in three years, Rem. You took one look at me and walked away.”

Remus felt his heart sink a bit at your tone. He hated to disappoint you, but what could he do to make this better? “I-” What could he say to make this hurt less? His voice came out like a pathetic whisper. “I didn't mean to, I just didn't know.. what to say? What to do?”

You have another, much more clear scoff. You raised an eyebrow, and the look on your face was a blend of confusion and something deeper. Something that made his stomach churn. “How to act? Remus, we were best friends. We still are, aren’t we?” You bit your cheek and look back at him, locking your eyes. “Even if you insist on pretending you don't know me.”

Remus felt the heat rise to his ears, an all-too-familiar rush of embarrassment mixed with guilt. A weird mixture that he seemed to seep in whenever you were around. It was never his intention to push you away, but the fear of his feelings had always loomed larger than the friendship you carried. He didn't want to be your friend. But he would have you anyway he could, even if it hurt him more then he'd like to admit. It felt like a weight too heavy to carry, and he had thought that distancing himself would lessen the burden.

“I…” He started, but the words tangled in his throat. You sat there patiently. You always did. From his monthly outlashes to his damaged moping after. “You don’t understand. It’s not that I don’t care about you. It’s just... every time I see you, it feels like I’m standing on the edge of something I can’t have.” He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes squishing closed. “You’re amazing, {Y/N}. You’ve done so much, and I-”

“Remus,” you interrupted, taking a step closer, your eyes searching his. Carefully, you placed a hand on his arm and it was like every knot in his body released. “You’re amazing too. You just graduated not but two years ago, and you’re already doing incredible things. I've heard about how you've joined the order, that's amazing. Everyone speaks so highly of you, please. You can’t keep comparing yourself to me. I’m not some unattainable ideal. I’m your friend. You know me, I'm just {Y/N}.”

“I'm just {Y/N}.”

You've said that to him so many times you'd think he'd listen.

But each time, it felt like a reminder that no matter how much you downplayed your accomplishments, with your Potter humility, you were still lightyears ahead of him. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was somehow unworthy of you, that your brilliance only served to highlight his own insecurities. You were the sun, you always would be. And he could only reflect what you saw in him. With all your light, he could only admire it.

“{Y/N}, you don’t get it.” He said, frustration creeping into his voice. “You’ve always been the one in the spotlight, and I’m just... me.” He gestured to himself, before giving a low sigh. “Can we talk about something else?”

You frowned, your brow furrowing as you considered his words. “So you think I’m only here for the spotlight? That I wouldn’t choose to be around you just because you feel like you don’t measure up?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he replied, his voice rising with each word. “It’s not that simple! I care about you too much to drag you down with me. I want you to be happy, and I’m not-”

“Remus, don't.” You cut him off and lifted your hand. He could hear your voice crack, the corners of your eyes glistened. He felt his heart break, again and again, as he admired the glistening rock on your fingers; one far bigger then he could ever afford. “You don't get to do this. You don't get to ignore me for years and then.. profess your love! Like that just makes every night I spent just waiting-”

Your voice finally cracked and you sniffled, quickly drying your tears with your open palm. “Waiting for you to say it.”

“{Y/N}...”

“No.” You shook your head and sniffed a bit. “I'm not letting you do this. Not at my engagement party, Remus. Your timing is shit and I deserve someone who won't shut me out. Won't make me wait-”

“Won't know you longer than a year before getting on one knee for you?” He snapped back and you gave a bitter laugh.

“A man who loved me enough to get over himself!” You shouted back and he shook his head.

“Oh right, because Benjy Fenwick has so much to get over, right? That pretty scarless face and his normal full moons?” He shouted. “How long did he have to pine after you for you to entertain him?”

“You don't get to pick at him. You don't get to diminish our relationship because you didn't take me when you could have had me!”

The air between you crackled with tension, both of your hearts laid bare in the chilly night and icy glares. Remus could feel the sting of your words hitting him harder than any hex ever could, and it cut deeper than his own self absorbed pity. He had never meant to make you feel small, and yet here he was, pushing his own insecurities onto you.

“I didn’t mean to-” He felt his words catch in his throat, but even those words fell flat, lost in the weight of your confession. He could of had you. He could see the hurt in your eyes, and it twisted his gut in a way that was both familiar and so foreign he was sure it wasn't his own body..

“You didn’t mean to what, Remus?” Your voice dripped with frustration, the vulnerability from moments ago replaced with an anger he was never on the receiving side of. “You didn’t mean to ruin the night? What we had? You didn’t mean to push me away? Or maybe you just didn’t mean to love me at all?”

The last words hung in the air and he could only look down at your left hand again. It was like a wall, something blocking him away from what he truly wanted. Something he waited far too long for.

The silence stretched between you, thick and suffocating, as the reality of your words settled in. Remus felt as though the ground had shifted beneath him, leaving him teetering on the edge of a precipice he had never wanted to face. His yearning. The air was heavy with all the things left unsaid, all the moments he had missed, and all the chances he hadn’t taken.

Was this one? Or should he drop it too? Would it be better for him to push? For him to take the chance? Or let you go.

“{Y/N}…” He managed, but the words felt insufficient, like a feeble attempt to bridge the chasm that had grown between you. One he chiseled out himself over the years he was too much of a coward to face you. “I never wanted to hurt you. You have to believe me.”

Your gaze softened momentarily, but the hurt was still there, raw and so clear. “You didn’t just hurt me, Remus. You left me wondering what I did wrong. Why you couldn’t see me for who I really was. I'm not some hero I'm just.. I'm just a Potter. I was just a girl who-.” Your voice trembled, and he felt a pang in his chest, like a physical ache at the thought of causing you pain. “Who loved you, Remus. Who loved you so much.”

“I thought I was protecting you.” He said, desperation creeping into his tone. “I thought if I stayed away, you’d be happier. That maybe I wouldn’t be a burden on everyone I knew. You were special. You were special to me, {Y/N}.”

“Were.” You whispered. “Was. I was. You were too Remus.”

“{Y/N}, please-”

“Hey, princess, you out here?” It was like a lightning bolt had struck, cutting through the tension that had built up like a storm cloud between you. Leaving its damaging crackles between you two, blocking Remus from crossing the line. The lovely voice of Benjy Fenwick echoed from inside the house, and your expression shifted instantly- a mask of calmness slipping over the raw emotion that had just been laid bare between you.

“Just a minute!” You called back, though your gaze remained locked on Remus, a flicker of panic showing in your eyes. He could see the struggle within you, the desire to stay and confront the truths that hung in the air, but also the need to go back to him, to shield yourself from the pain he had caused. To be with the man who was months away from promising that pain like this would never cross your face again.

“{Y/N}…” He started again, his heart racing. He felt as if he were grasping at smoke, trying to hold onto you with so much desperation. He could see it, however, you were already gone.

“Remus, I…” You hesitated, glancing back towards the door where Benjy’s voice called again, more impatient this time. “I can’t do this right now.”

With that, you took a step back, breaking the weathering connection that had tethered you together just moments before. The warmth of your hand on his arm faded, and he was left feeling colder than ever. The weight of your words hung heavy in the air, like a spell cast that he couldn’t break.

“Please.” He begged, his voice a mere whisper now, barely audible over the muffled music. “Don’t go.”

But you were already turning away, caught between two worlds- the past and the future, the love you had shared and the life that was now laid out before you. He couldn’t blame you for wanting to step back into the safety of the warm lights and laughter, to return to the life that felt secure, even if it meant leaving him behind. Leaving him to watch helplessly as you fell into the arms of a man that was nothing like him.

“Remus.” You warned, your voice trembling as you faced him one last time. “I need to go. I can’t keep doing this. Not now.”

Your eyes were filled with a mixture of nostalgic pain and resolve, and in that moment, he could see the conflict raging within you. But he felt powerless to change your mind, to convince you to stay and unravel the tangled web of emotions that had ensnared both of you. He was taking his last stand for you.

“Wait.” His voice cracked, stepping forward, his heart pounding so loud he couldn't hear anything but your voice. “I know I messed up. I know I made you wait, and I know I pushed you away. But I don’t want to lose you. Not like this.”

Your gaze dropped to the ground, and he could see the battle you were fending off with yourself. “Remus, you’re not losing me,” you pushed, your voice softening, though the distance between you felt greater then ever. “You made your choice when you walked away. You chose to shut me out.”

“No, I chose to keep you safe.” He insisted, desperation taking a full hold on his voice. “I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought if I stayed away, I wouldn’t ruin your life. But I see now that all I did was make you feel alone.”

You inhaled sharply, and for a moment, he thought he saw a flicker of understanding in your eyes. “You don’t know what it feels like to be waiting in the dark, Remus. You don’t know what it’s like to love someone who won’t let you in.”

His heart ached at your words, and he took another step closer, reaching out as if he could draw you back into the warmth of his arms, at least as a friend, the connection that had once felt so unbreakable. “I'll let you in now. I’m here. I’m ready to be what you need. Just give me a chance. Please.”

But you shook your head, the resolve returning to your features. “You had your chance, Remus. And I’m not going to break another heart just to spare mine-”

“Ours.” He insisted and you shook your head. You tried to hide it, but he could see it. You weren't over him. And he clung to the chance like it was a life line.

“Baby! There you are!” Benjy laughed as he opened the patio door. He stepped out and Remus watched as you schooled your expression and gave him a dazzling smile. Your mascara was smokey now, he could see how much you were clearly bothered in the new light.

Benjy didn't notice. “Pretty girl, it's freezing out here!” He chuckled and took off his jacket, placing it over your shoulders and put his arm around you. You just laughed and shook your head.

“It's not that bad.” You tried to placate and he didn't seem to notice your words. His cheeks flush and clearly a bit drunk.

“Hey! Remus, right? You're the new kid who joined the order, aren't ya? You know each other?” He mused and gestured between you two.

Remus felt a wave of nausea wash over him at Benjy’s familiarity with you. The warmth of your laughter felt like a dagger to his heart, twisting as he forced a smile in return, though he could feel the edges of his resolve crumbling.

“Yeah, that’s me.” He nodded, his voice low as he tried to mask the bitterness he felt. He wanted to say more, to challenge the ease with which Benjy wrapped his arm around you, but the words stuck in his throat. It felt as if he were standing on the sidelines of a game he had once played, now just a spectator to the happiness he had allowed to slip away.

You turned to Benjy, your eyes sparkling with a mix of affection he knew used to belong to him. “I was just enjoying some fresh air. Remus was keeping me company.”

“Oh, really? I thought I’d find you two out here reminiscing about your Hogwarts days.” Benjy chuckled, oblivious to the reminder only making you wince. “Thanks for keeping her entertained, bud.”

Benjy clapped his hand to Remus’s arm and turned, pulling you closer. “Let's get inside, yeah? Gonna freeze my tits off.”

His crude comment shocked a laugh out of you, making Remus flinch.

“Yeah, let’s get inside.” You hummed with a nod, your voice carrying a cheerfulness that felt forced. Remus wanted to scream, to reach out and pull you back, to tell you everything he had been too scared to say. But the words remained lodged in his throat, heavy with the weight of regrets unspoken.

As you turned to walk back inside, Remus felt the distance between you grow. He wanted to call after you, to stop you and lay bare his heart, but the laughter and music from the party surged around him, drowning out his thoughts.

He was losing you, and he knew it. The very thought made his heart ache, a dull throb that reverberated through him. It was a pain he had grown accustomed to over the years, but now it felt all too real, all too present, and he couldn’t bear it.

“Hey, Remus!” James's voice suddenly broke through the fog of his despair as he approached, a bright smile on his face. “You alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Just… catching some fresh air. {Y/N} was keeping me out of my head.” Remus muttered, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He could see the excitement written all over his face, but it felt miles away, a world he no longer belonged to.

“Come inside! You’re missing the best part!” James insisted, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “We’ve got some games going on, and Lily’s got a surprise planned. You’ll want to be there for it.”

Remus nodded, though his heart wasn’t in it. “Yeah, I’ll… I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Alright, but don’t keep us waiting too long!” James called, heading back into the house, leaving Remus alone once more.

With a heavy sigh, Remus leaned against the railing, staring out into the night. The stars twinkled above him, indifferent to his turmoil, and he felt a hollow emptiness settle in his chest. He had always been good at hiding from the world, but now, he felt exposed and vulnerable, stripped of the defenses he had built around himself.

He glanced back toward the door, his heart racing as he thought about the laughter and joy that awaited him inside. But more importantly, you were inside, and he was terrified of what that meant.

The sound of laughter drew his attention back to the door, and he caught a glimpse of you and Benjy, surrounded by a group of friends. Your smile was genuine, your laughter infectious, and the way you leaned into Benjy, it stung more than anything he could have imagined. He almost heaved when he saw you give him such a gentle and loving kiss.

“Just say it.” He whispered to himself, the words echoing in his mind. “Just tell her how you feel.”

But the words wouldn’t come. He had waited too long, and now it felt like it was too late. Could he even do that? Could he ruin your chances at a normal life? That was what he wanted, right? You to be happy? To not be plagued with what he was?

As the door swung shut behind James, sealing you away with a future he couldn’t be a part of, Remus felt a sense of finality settle over him. He couldn't face you. It was done. He had let you slip through his fingers, and now all he could do was watch as you moved on without him.

With a final glance at the door, he turned away from the party, the music fading into the background as he made his way down the steps and into the darkness. He could feel the weight of his heart, heavy with regret, but he knew he had to keep moving forward, even if it meant leaving you to travel down your own path. One that had nothing to do with him.

Somehow, he would have to learn to live with the choices he had made, the love he had thrown away. And somehow, he would have to learn to live with the fact that he had lost the one person who had meant everything to him.

As he walked away from the Potters’ home, he felt the cold night air wrap around him more then before, a stark reminder of the warmth he had just lost. And with each step, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was leaving a piece of himself behind- one he might never get back.

His heart always preferred you anyway.

[marvelslut16]

Years ago, I started writing a Sirius Black x potter!reader series and a Remus Lupin x potter!reader series (both were Harry's sister. I really like age gaps lmao) and I was posting chapters on quotev. Should I post them on here like a chapter a week?

Edit: just want to make sure everyone knows I meant y/n Potter.

[hellisagemini]

[randommultifandomrants]

Being a girl is: wanting to go to bed early but deciding to just get on tumblr/wattpad/Ao3 for a little bit and then end up finding a fic series that you really like and read until well past your usual bedtime then keeping on because it’s already past your bedtime. Then being mad when you wake up in the morning because you overslept your timer.

[thatboisus]

reading a good ass fanfic up until it said something that just makes you want to stop reading

[aphrcdites]

the bond between a girl and their favorite fictional man is both an unstoppable force and an immovable object

[bethsvrse]

me staring at my ceiling after y/n does the most FLABBERGASTING thing ever

[natti-ice]

18+ mdni

that reality check hitting after reading smut

[cruel-seduction]

It’s like a full-blown addiction, but instead of drugs or booze, it’s this fictional guy who’s got her wrapped around his finger. She knows it’s fucked up—knows she’s out here daydreaming about someone who’s not even real—but who cares? This guy? He’s everything. He’s charming in the worst ways, flawed in every possible sense, but there’s just something about him that has her hooked. He doesn’t even know she exists, but she’s ready to fight anyone who says a word against him. Seriously, she’ll defend his honor like it’s a fucking life-or-death mission.

He’s a goddamn trainwreck, but he’s her trainwreck. She’ll put up with all his baggage, his emotional scars, his dark sides, because somehow, that brokenness makes him feel more real to her than any real guy could. He’s messed up, but she’ll fix him in her head every single time. Maybe it’s that thrill of knowing he’s dangerous and untouchable that makes him even more irresistible. He might break her heart in a hundred ways, but it’s the kind of heartbreak that makes her feel alive, even if it hurts like hell.

And it’s never gonna happen, right? She knows that. He’s not gonna waltz into her life and sweep her off her feet. But it doesn’t matter. Because she gets to have him on her terms—no messy reality, no awkward first dates, no risking her heart for real. He’s always there when she needs him, in that perfect little bubble of fantasy she’s built for herself. And maybe she’s a little crazy for it, but at least with him, she’s never disappointed. Every time she replays his scenes, reads the fanfics, imagines their future together—it's like a high she can never quite shake. She knows it's all just a mindfuck, but she’s never felt more alive.

[maisy1111]

pov: you’re scrolling trying to find a cute little fluffy fanfic to read but everything you get is smut 

no smut hate, i just want to giggle :(

[rosieandthethorns]

i don't WANT to read smut right now

i WANT to read a passionate, poetic, jaw dropping, tears streaking down my face, heart wrenching, giggle inducing, feet kicking, cringy yet amazing, gorgeous story written by someone who apologizes for english not being their first language(they're the best writers ever) which has 4 chapters and then makes me scream because it hasnt been updated in months and the author is mia

[realangelahernandez]

I’m so sad… time for an x reader fan fiction

[randommultifandomrants]

Being a girl is pt.2: deciding you’ve read enough fics for the moment and swiping out of the app just to re-open tumblr or open wattpad/ao3

[thatboisus]

“english isn’t my first langua—“ say no more.

[aphrcdites]

“not all men”

you’re right, my favorite fictional character would never.

[luveline]

hi hii jade! Was wondering if you could do something sweet and fluffy w poly!marauders where reader wakes up in a very cozy and giggly mood 🤭 just some warm domestic love hehe

thank you for requesting! fem, 1k

Someone is kissing his waist. Sirius squirms in his dozing, not expecting it as those kisses travel up his naked chest. Your laugh is breathy and soft as you kiss his shoulder, your weight strewn across his side and arm, your hand finding his cheek. 

Your fingers feel inhuman in the best way, like an angel. They spread across his face and neck as you hold him in place and kiss the skin where his neck meets his shoulder. “I love you…” you whisper, the ‘you’ turning long and slow like honey slipping down his front. “I wish you didn’t sleep so much.” 

You kiss him again, and with that you’re out of bed. Out of the room before Sirius has time to gather his wits, but he does gather them, because he needs more of whatever that was. 

What sort of sweetheart kisses somebody with such gentleness thinking they won’t remember? To press affection into him with want of nothing in return. He doesn’t even bother getting dressed, just scrubs at his sleep-swollen face and fishes the crusties from his eyes as he descends the stairs, numb-legged. 

James is grabbing you by the hips, helping you up onto the counter. His curls bounce at the back of his neck. “What’s gotten into you?” he asks. 

“Love, for sure.” 

“I can see that. Eggs? Omelette?” 

“Jamie, you can make anything. Actually, let me make you something–”

James pushes you further onto the top. “That’s okay, I’m cooking. I want to cook.” 

Sirius isn’t insecure, exactly. He feels he’s quite handsome when he attempts to be, and he knows you like him whether he’s trying or not, but he doesn’t know if you want to be interrupted, either of you, and it’s his private agony to wonder what to do. Then you spot him over James’ shoulder and your eyes practically sparkle. 

“Siri…” you sing-song, melodic as he crosses the kitchen linoleum to be with you and James. “Did I wake you? I’m sorry.” 

Sirius touches James’ elbow with love but swoops in on you. “Did you wake me?” he asks, kissing your cheek, his arms working behind you to hold you as his lips travel downward. He isn’t half as sweet as you were, too busy trying to squeeze your torso against his and mould you into a perfect fit against him and under his arm to really think about what he’s doing. 

“She did it to me, too.” 

Sirius pulls your face into his neck and turns to James with a grin. “And Remus?” 

“He was already awake. But she kissed him and did that thing where her eyes somehow look bigger and shiny and he had to go for a walk.” 

“He didn’t have to go for a walk,” you mumble from Sirius’ neck. “He always walks on Saturday mornings. He’s just getting some herbs from the greenhouse.” 

The back door opens on cue. Remus reappears with an aura about him much like yours, dropping the cut herbs on the cutting board, and stopping just shy of everyone to smile. “Did she do it to you, as well?” he asks. 

James squeezes Remus’ face in his hand, a quick thank you for the herbs that has the latter turning pink. 

“She waylaid me with kisses like a common whore.” 

“Sirius,” James says scornfully. 

“Me being the whore,” Sirius says. You laugh into his neck, seemingly with no inclination to leave the circle of his arms. “Will I ever see your face again?” he asks. 

“It’s cozy here. I wish we’d stayed in bed.” 

“We can go back.” 

“After breakfast,” James says, popping an egg on the edge of the frying pan, breaking the shell one handed as he gives the sizzling oil a shake. 

Remus not so subtly crosses the last of the space to slot himself between your right thigh and the counter. Sirius has the urge to cup his cheek as James had done —Remus has an extremely holdable face— but is distracted by your nose nuzzling the line of his throat. 

“I love you,” you say. 

Doesn’t matter who you’re talking to. All three boys melt. 

“I’d like to do some really weird things to you,” Sirius says. 

“Me too,” James agrees. “But we do need breakfast first.” 

“No one is doing anything weird to me, it’s the weekend.” You beam as Remus laughs, seemingly your intention. 

Sirius backs away to a polite but still close proximity. He isn’t selfish; being in a ‘strange’ relationship like this one is a lot of reading cues, and a lot of just plain old climbing into people's laps when you want them, because nobody can truly read minds. Yet Sirius can see that you’re in the sort of mood where everything you touch turns to gold and all the boys want a piece of you, and who is he to get in the way of that? 

Well, he’s your boyfriend. He takes a kiss before he delegates himself to being herb-chopper, stealing glances of you from the corner of his eye. 

You tease a strand of Remus’ hair behind his ear. 

“Weird stuff is for weekdays only,” you’re murmuring. “What I want today is the real romantic stuff.” 

“Then you can have it,” Remus murmurs back. 

Sirius will happily be doing very romantic things to both of you after his omelette. James, too, if he’s so inclined.