#keep the order of the scenes as they are and instead edit them slightly so they fit better pacing wise???

[rosekasa]

hi im bothering u guys for writing tips again

how do i stop deleting entire chunks of a fic and getting stuck in the cycle of constantly deleting and rewriting

[poomphuripan]

the mingjoe hotel room scene has been running on loop in my head all day. uppoom are just insanely talented people Jesus Christ. i would love to hear your thoughts on it!!

and cheers to no phone throwing—just lots of pushing and biting(?), which is definitely a little bit more palatable. i really enjoy that like with the ep3 bathroom scene, ming’s extreme physical behavior is not being romanticized. like sure some (me) will still find it hot but it’s very.. ugly looking? like the way ming is overly rough with his arm around joe’s neck acting like an animal or in a sleazy outfit like ep3 (😭) that it just makes you cringe more than anything else.

hi nonnie (ToT)/~~~

sameeeeeeeeee. this scene was just incredible. so for anyone that doesn't know, this is the scene from chapter 73 'Underestimating Yan Ming Xiu’s Feelings for Zhou Xiang' of Professional Body Substitute. I will leave a small excerpt with edited names for easy reading experience down here.

Joe smiled sarcastically, “Khun Ming, I am just as baffled as you. I don’t know how I could have offended P'Tong. Your FAMILY is of one mind, if you could help me figure it out, perhaps I could correct my mistakes.” When Joe mentioned ‘family,’ he especially emphasized it with a heavier tone. Ming’s expression became unsightly. He grabbed his cell phone and threw it at Joe’s face, immediately hitting Joe in his cheekbones, making it instantly swollen. Ming responded coldly, “Joe, don’t you have a bit of shame. You keep repeatedly speaking to me with this mocking sarcasm. Even if I was to spend money to raise a dog, it’ll bark nicely upon seeing me. Who do you think you are? If it wasn’t because ….. do you think you’re even worth a few yuan?” Joe caressed his face, feeling the air leaking from his voided heart. But he didn’t feel anything. He didn’t feel humiliated, let alone sadness. He felt that what Ming said is extremely right. If it wasn’t because he looked a bit like Tong, whether it was from before or in the present, how could he have the opportunity to stand in front of Ming? After such a long time, he had finally accepted this fact and was able to fully be at peace. He smiled, “What Khun Ming said is right. I admit that I am wrong. No matter what P'Tong does, he must have his reasons.” Ming raised his eyebrows deeply. The smile on Joe’s face made him feel uncomfortable, not only is it uncomfortable, it was simply glaring to the extreme. He instinctively felt that he had seen this expression before from somewhere, this expression made his heart tremble. Ming didn’t know how he could teach this person called Joe a lesson because this person is too untamed. But at the same time, there are so many commonalities between this person and “that person,” so that he is always subconsciously tolerant of him. He has repeatedly tolerated his words and even gave him the condo he had prepared for his older brother. He knew that he is not “Joe” but because there were so many overlapping details between them, it made him lose his mind. He didn’t know what he is expecting from this fake ‘Joe.’ What exactly was he expecting!! He stared at Joe coldly and ordered, “Undress.” Joe is slightly startled and then nimbly removed his clothes piece by piece. Ming press him onto the bed, separating his thighs. Then, he proceeded to brutally and fervently fuck him. The lines on Joe’s back are painfully stretched, his muscles trembled violently with Ming’s frightening rigorous speeds; sweat dripped along the sides of his cheeks onto the bed sheet. Joe clenched his teeth trying with much difficulty to suppress himself from making any sounds. The moans lodged in this throat instead became smothering sounds. The phone next to the bed suddenly rang. Joe slowly looked up and blankly glanced at it. Ming immediately pressed his head into the blanket and hoarsely shouted, “Don’t let me see your face!” Joe’s face was forced into the blanket. He hated that he couldn’t directly bury himself beneath the bed. Ming picked up the handset; his thrusting movements became a bit stagnant but he was still slowly pummeling in and out of Joe. Back and forth, his hot weapon thrusted repeatedly into Joe’s body. This strange feeling made his entire body shook.

okay so i was crazy excited for how they were gonna adapt this onscreen because for this scene to truly delivered they had to be able to retain the shame joe had to bear to hear those hurtful words from ming while showing ming is lashing out as a result of him being driven up the walls due to the similarity between joe 2.0 and joe 1.0, especially when joe 2.0 associated him and tong as 'family'.

i totally agree with the series' refusal to romanticize any of these scenes. and i think the best adaptation change has been for joe to say all these things back to ming whereas he didn't in the novel.

oh god poom's eye work in this scene was just incredible. i think i prefer this to his resigned attitude in the same scene of the novel. the series has designed joe to be more emotional and vulnerable than his novel counterpart and i think it fits in line well with the comments in the first few episodes of novel readers noting that joe seems more "innocent" and "naive" than novel!zhou xiang.

all gifs courtesy of @jimmysea

and yes as you mentioned, it doesn't feel romantic at all. and i'm sure it's completely intentional on the producers to design this scene as such so we get a remorseful ming the following morning and heightened the tension between the two characters, while building up to the reveal scene at the end of the episode.

like just how can joe 2.0 trust ming saying this when ming is seemingly the same 'guy who lashes out' in that very fight scene they had earlier.

i also like the contrast between the design of that fight scene and the scene where ming ended up not following through with sex when joe 2.0 had reminded him of joe 1.0 (see, he can make good decisions on rare occasions). it's interesting because at that point you'd think ming has changed but then just one mention of joe/tong is such a sore subject for him, as if it's a sharp reminder (from joe himself) that he (and tong) are the reason for joe's disappearance, that it triggers all ming's buttons and he's right back to square one. it's a long journey for ming to prove his love to joe and i like that the series doesn't make it an easy ride for him even if they've 'toned down' to make the characters more palatable and human.

i don't know i'm just rambling incoherently at this point, but i hope that made sense nonnie ಥ_ಥ

edit: linking this weibo post from the msi supertopic which discusses the conversation. why do i hate miscommunication but love this so much wahhhhh. also more praises for this scene here.

[miguellover07]

Ok ok I wanted to request something

Highschool/college au

Badboy!miguel x chubbyfem!reader (well she an nerd,if u want to know)

(I'm what to say, but I hope u can create something with this idea)

I HOPE U HAVE AN WONDERFUL DAY 😘😘😇😇

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH my first request, I`m kind of excited huh

Around 1200 words, High-school au, BadboyMiguel x chubbyfem!reader, fluff

Jump, little mouse

Again, you are being pushed against your locker and you can already tell who did it.

Miguel who keeps messing with you by either stealing a pen, scribbling on your paper, hiding your backpack or in extreme situation either pushes you against the locker or even slightly pulls your hair.

He is standing there with his group already laughing as you pick up your books and notes that got knocked over.

You however try to ignore them and keep your face as neutral as possible because if they see any kind of reaction they will only push you further and perhaps do something worst.

The culprit is quick to snack one of your favorite comics away and you can´t help but panic.

"NO! give that back please" you try to reason with him as you step forward to take it back but he only lifts it above your head.

"Give me one good reason why I should do that? Hm?" he teases with a smug smirk and in your paniced state, you do exactly what he wants and that is: jumping.

"Miguel! It´s a special edition, there are only 50 of them, pleaseee" you say with tears in your eyes as you remember how you´ve spent your whole pocket money on this comic.

But he doesn´t care instead he answer your explanation with little 'oh', 'ah' and 'uh-huh'.

He relishes in the sight before him, he even gets bolder by pulling it behind him so that you lean against him while your hand tries to reach your favorite comic but to no avail.

"Oh, come on now, you can do it, I believe in you, my little mouse" he coos teasingly at you.

His friends are mocking and hollering as they witnes the scene before them. One of them even tried the same thing by taking another comic but you don´t care since your eyes are only on the special one.

Miguel´s smirk only grows wider, the way he can feel your body against him makes him go feral and he needs to bite his lip as he fights the urge to put his arm around your waist in order to press you tighter against him.

He can´t lie, he always had a thing for you but you two are too different which makes it difficult to connect.

Sometimes he even feels bad for treating you like this, he would much rather take you out on dates and just treat you right but you always act so skittish and shy around him which makes it even harder for him.

So, his only way is to tease you a little bit, in order to get your attention and hoping that you would maybe let a little lose around him.

He also made sure that he is the only one who could do this to you. Everybody else would get threatened or beaten by him.

By now there are other people watching the scene and some even take pictures and videos of the two of you.

Seeing how it´s hopeless to get your comic back you try to step back and find a teacher who could help you with him.

The unwanted attention already makes you uncomfortable and only now do you realize that you´ve made a fool out of yourself by jumping.

But before you can step back, he finally gives in to his desire and puts his arm around your waist and presses you tightly against him.

With shock in your eyes you look up at him as you open your mouth to protest but suddenly you feel his hand against your side and he squeezes it really hard.

Yelping and perplexed you look up at him.

For a second you don´t know what to do, frozen you stand there and only stare up at him. Even he seems shocked by his doing.

The loud hollering and noise tears you back to reality and you push him away from you, tears already streaming down your face as you run towards the bathroom.

Quickly you lock yourself up in one of the stalls and you can´t hold back the sobbs and tears.

He just squeezed your side. Why would he do that?

Not a minute later there are knocks and calls from girls, telling you that you should come out and reassuring you that everything will be alright.

But you aren´t ready to step out just now so in your defence you start accusing them "Leave me alone now! You could have done something before this happened but you all only watched!"

Some try it again but most of them just left you and after some stubborn minutes of your silence, the remaining ones left as well.

Now you can finally try to calm down, taking deep breaths and wiping your tears away.

Then when you feel ready you open the door only to get jump scared as Miguel stand in front of you, in the middle of the female bathroom.

Again you try to close the door and start screaming but he is faster and stronger as he pushes the door open and puts his hand over your mouth while closing the door and just holds you like this.

His hand over your mouth and his arm around your shoulder, his eyes never leaving yours as you try to break free from his hold.

"Calm down if I get caught it´ll be your fault," he hisses, "I promise I´m not going to harm you... I just want to say sorry...".

You don´t trust him but his threat scares you so against your will you calm down and he sighs while removing his hands from you.

"I´m sorry I obviously pushed your boundaries but... I couldn´t hold back... and I know this sounds like I´m some kind of animal... but I just needed to feel you," he sighs as if he was disappointed with himself, " I like you... a lot but you´re always so cold to me and I couldn´t find another way to get your attention and I thought it would be enough to tease you a little here and there but... I´m sorry you didn´t deserve any of it".

With his confession he suddenly looks like a kicked puppy and you want to forgie him but what he did today was really unacceptable.

The little bathroom stall makes you two stand very close as he puts his hands next to your head to lean on them and your heart starts racing while your cheeks blush but you're too mad and hurt to give in your feelings.

"Miguel-" you start but are quickly cut of "I would´ve never damaged your comics, I swear I know how much you like them and for an apology we could go to the bookstore down the street and I´ll buy you whatever you want there and after that we could also get your favorite coffee and some snacks together, what do you say?"

And the suggestion does sound nice, especially since you could never buy these overpriced figures.

So, after a bit of thinking you slowly nod but raise your pointy finger at him, trying to be intimidating "But no more teasing, you hear me? And no more squeezing"

Nodding he takes your hand in his and gives it a tender kiss "yes of course anything but... could I at least pinch your cheeks? Just once, please"

Rolling your eyes, you agree with a little ´fine´ and he pinches it so gently while his other hand keeps holding onto your hand.

His expression is the one of a puppy who go their treat which makes you chuckle a bit.

You can´t believe that this is the same Miguel from earlier, it´s like he is a completely different person but you don´t complain since he is so much nicer like this.

And you can´t deny it, he does look good, perhaps if he is better and gentler with you, you might accept his confession.

🕷🕸

I just wrote around 1200 words. I actually had two ideas but I decide this one was better because I wasn´t sure whether you wanted some smut in it so I just went with the fluff and I also wasn't sure if you wanted the two of them to be in a relationship or not so i kind of just made the "beginning" <3

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Day 2 of falling back in love with my book

Question of the day: Should I restructure?

If you missed part one, my book had been rejected by everyone I submitted it to and I had to take a break from writing it for a while because it was a very draining process but via writing in a pressure-free environment (mostly tumblr and ao3) I feel that I've improved my writing greatly and I want to edit, hone, and rework my book until it's the best version of itself it can be and is ready to be shared with the world.

So, on restructuring: I'm starting to think that the outline of my book needs to be completely redone, keeping the flesh of most scenes but in different orders or in a new format, so I'm experimenting with possible new/slightly twisted versions of the premise that practically feel like au's and is very interesting to think about. Today I'm planning on watching some videos about writing openers and considering what about my current opener I do and don't like, hoping that it will lead me down a bit of a rabbit hole to either rework the opener I have with the current version of the premise or write some different options for twisted versions of the current premise and decide which one I want to be taking onwards.

I'm having a teensy dilemma over POV because the entire book is written in first person but all of my other creative writing projects (meaning fics and other original works in progress) are in third person and I've gotten a lot more comfortable writing that way than I have in first; it's making me wonder I should rewrite the entire (99k word) story in third person instead and even though I know I need to do a lot of rewriting anyway that is a daunting prospect. I don't think that I should, particularly because it's a retrospective narrative and as I've written it currently is the transcription of voice recordings made by the main character, but there's a little voice in my head saying 'ohhhh wouldn't it be so much better that way though?'. But I think I'm going to stick with the first person, unless when I start getting into it I realise that it's definitely not the right way for this story to be told.

Feel free to ask any writing related question you'd like to, including any industry ones I can do my best to answer them or direct you to good sources :)

[pipmcmayhem]

Pip's Process for Making Comics :)

Hi everyone! I know I'm rarely on here, but I've decided to share my process for my webcomic in case it could help anyone. I've been building my story for many years in my head (it's a paracosm that's been with me basically since I could hold a pencil), and it wasn't until about 2021 that I was finally able to start getting it down, and this is the process that works for me. This process is more aimed at super-lengthy ongoing multiple-arc type things, so those with massive fantasy epics, this is for you!

1) Make an outline for the arc. I make a list of each episode, and the basic events that happen in them. I typically have 11-13 chapters per arc and 2-3 focus-events happen in a chapter, because I try not to have "too much going on". Breaking down the focuses in a list is also useful in that you can gauge the flow of the focus and not have it "jump around" too much, and also balance how much you focus on one character to another, etc.

(As you can see, this is very basic, but keep in mind I've had "the party episode" in my head for years so I didn't need to write out a scene I already knew like the back of my hand in the list)

2) Once the list is done, start writing the episodes in a script-like format. If you're doing your project solo, literally no one has to understand the script but you. Write it how you envision it in a way you can understand. And don't be afraid to stray slightly from the list! Do whatever feels more natural.

3+) After you've scripted the final scripts for each episode, write down ANOTHER list of all the significant things that DO happen, so you can reference back to it in the future to avoid things like plotholes and accidental repeat of events. You could also, instead, edit the original list from step 1; I just personally like to have multiple documents so I can see changes and where they happened. 4) This is where the drawing begins. What I do is make REALLY rough drafts for every page in each episode. Think kinda like thumbnailing for storyboards; I just scribble down the basic events I want happening, the area of the dialogue (with the beginning few words of the line, to keep track) And after that, it's clean(ish) sketches*, lineart, coloring, etc. I typically do all the roughs in order, and then do the same with clean sketches, and then do the rest page-by-page. (*EDIT: I wan't to elaborate that I highly recommend adding the text in as early as you feasibly can so you don't have to worry about text fitting, as you can work around it)

IMPORTANT NOTE! DO NOT be afraid to stray from ANY of the initial writing! If your script's dialogue is fine but doesn't have enough pages, make more pages! As you can see, I had to split what was originally going to be 1 page. There was even a crucial scene in chapter 3 of my comic that didn't even happen in the scripts, but it needed to. If you feel a change is needed, do it! Don't restrict yourself too much; see the script as more of a guideline.

So yeah, there's my method. I know it was unprompted and all, but for so many years I felt hopelessly lost when trying to get this MASSIVE story down, and my goal of posting this is because if there's the slightest possibility this could help someone, I want it to do that. :) Hopefully this helps someone, but now is my time to say that I'm by no means a professional; I'm self-taught and I've only been making the actual comic for 3-4 years, however I have 5 out of 10+ of the arcs fully scripted :) If you're interested in my comic, you can read it here! If you check it out, know that that means the world to me ;w; Have a nice day/night <3

[nobigsecrets]

🖊️♻️🤡

🖍 Post any sentence from your wip

Okay. So. This is a chunk of what I wrote pretty recently. It's a piece of my transmasc!Steve headcanon, which I'm not sure is ready to be called a wip yet. But I'm gonna grab the chance to talk about it with both hands. :) Plus, I figure it might be of more interest to you and probably most of my followers on here than my Ted Lasso wip. Please be kind, it's not edited!

--

[Steve is not a SEAL in this. He figured out that he is trans somewhat recently when he returns to Hawaii after his father's death.]

The cab driver calls her Lieutenant and she pissily corrects him that she’s a Lieutenant Commander and wishes to be addressed accordingly, thank you very much.

Civilians, really.

The Governor is still busy when she arrives at her office. She’s told to wait in the sitting room and the governor’s secretary calls her Mrs McGarrett of all things. She's as stunned as she is annoyed by it and has to bite her tongue. Instead of correcting her and pointing out her rank for the second time within an hour, she asks as politely as possible if it would be alright if she returned in 30 minutes.

To her relief it is and she heads out of the governor’s mansion and towards the coffee place across the street that she spotted earlier. She figures a coffee to go and some fresh air on a walk towards the docks might help her to cool off.

She enters the small café and she hasn’t planned to, has never thought about it before but now an idea pops up in her mind unbidden. She orders her coffee and she can't shake the thought, it has grabbed her mind and her heart and when the barista asks for a name what she says is--Steve.

Not Steph. Not Stephanie. She said Steve--

Wait.

He said Steve.

He's Steve. He's--

He hasn’t thought this through. He suddenly feels week in the knees at his own courage. He takes a careful look around, holding his breath but the place isn’t very busy. It's very likely that no one will notice.

Still, he’s busy keeping a bout of panic at bay, when out of the corner of his eyes, he notices someone walking in his direction. It's a cop in full uniform walking towards him. Strangely, the guy is smiling when instead of a greeting he says “I know you!”

He is confused for a short moment, he hadn't expected to run into any familiar face so quickly after arriving but he he recognizes the man instantly.

“Chin Ho Kelly! Kukui High School,” he says and he can’t help but relax slightly at Chin’s friendly smile.

Before either of them can say anything more, the barista calls “Grande Caffe Latte for Steve” and puts the coffee cup on the counter directly in front of him. There’s no mistaking for whom it’s meant, so he takes the cup and chances a wary look at Chin.

While Chin looks surprised, slightly raised eyebrow and all, he doesn’t comment and just picks up where they left off: “Steve McGarrett! Good to see you back home!”

He's Steve.

♻️ A scrapped idea for your current WIP

I scrapped a smut scene out of my Roy x Jamie fic twice now. It's not that the boys don't want to have fun, it just doesn't fit into the narrative the way I want it to.

🤡 How many Wips are you actively working on?

We should define what 'actively working on' actually means lol. I have anything from 'has been open in the background for months' (10) to 'adding a couple of sentences when I find the time' (3).

Ask me: An ask game for writers to procrastinate working on you WIP(s)

[squeiky]

BEASTARS PARALLELS

Volumes used: 10-13 (with slight mentions of volumes before.)

WARNING: Images are edited to fit the book that I (myself) was reading. Since I've been reading the VIZ media books, Its come to my attention that the translations very are different online than it is here. Thus, I've concluded I must translate it all, in order for my points to come arose clearly.

Reminder: Click for better quality, or if you want to read it.

First parallel, is the "I love herbivores/I love carnivores" moment between Legoshi and Louis. Even funnier is that, it seem seems Legoshi is the reason, and Ibuki is the realization.

Also, in my book, When Ibuki ask if his freind is more important to him than the Shishigumi, Louis mentions that both the Shishigumi and Legoshi are both equally important to him. Which is a lot, considering that a parallel drawn within the manga itself is Louis comparing Ibuki to his father.

With the Shishigumi being basically family to him, its astonishing that Legoshi is on the exact same level of importance.

Another note, is that before this interaction and declaration about herbivores, Legoshi was thinking of Haru.

Unironically, Louis made a "eat me" joke to Legoshi, which (atleast in my book) is similar to the "how would I taste?" joke Haru made. This joke was duiring Louis's dream of Haru, before being waken up by Ibuki. This was after Legoshi thought of Haru, though.

Second parallel between the "dreams" and "nightmares" of Louis and Haru. Unsurprisingly both herbivores, that of which he keeps having repetitive dreams/nightmares about.

Weirdly enough, Legoshi agonizes about both of them. Unable to control what he's dreaming about, and slightly suffering because of it. Albeit, different levels of agony.

^goes with Juno and her realization, but eh

Third parallel with Riz vs Legoshi and Louis as the Moth.

In my book, during the fight with Riz (the last panel before he turned into a illusion of moths), Legoshi says "Isn't that right, Moth?", which was within the page that Legoshi was reminiscing over the Moth. Here, instead of a Moth, its Louis. Instead of Riz, its a bunch of drug dealers. Yet, its still the same concept of: for the sake of herbivores.

Of which both battles, he has the enemy surrender.

Also, Legoshi visualizes Louis similarly to how he did the Moth, which... weirdly enough, have both entered his body. Both the Moth and Louis visuals motivate him, and both Moth and Louis teach Legoshi something that he later carries on. (In my book, while conversing with Louis- before eating his leg- he tells him, "That's not all I remember. A lot has happened to us over the past year.//Louis, thanks to you I didn't become a monster.".

Moth and Louis both teach him, or help him in some way. They also motivate him during his fights for justice. They are also both were consumed by him (although Louis is still alive, of course.) Oh, and they were both dreamed about (as the Moth interaction took place when he was knocked out).

Forth parallel is this Louis and Legoshi scene with Juno and Haru's.

(My book for this scene is unavailable, so a direct translation cannot be made. That's why I don't have a picture.)

The scene at the gardening club where Juno calls Haru "cute" and interacts with Haru, realizing why carnivores can never "win" against herbivores

It's not an exact parallel between the two wolves, but its interesting that scenes like this take place in locations where hthe two are alone and simply enjoying anothers company.

The difference being while Juno rejects her emotions towards Haru in fear of ending up "wrapped around her finger" like Louis and Legoshi", Legoshi ends up admitting his emotions towards herbivores, fulling embracing them. (Louis does the whole, "I know." thing too, its great.)

One detail added are the soft hexagons and the dotty gradients that appear in the room. The soft geometric shapes only appear when he's thinking of Louis (see the soft triangles during his "reminiscing over getting high" scene), when he's admitting something deep/personal and when Louis sits next to him/ when they have a nice heart-to-heart.

It's not a parallel, but its a detail I noticed and wanted to bring up.

Thats all for now.

(I'm still learning about Yahya and Gosha, but I can see parallels between the two and Louis and Legoshi. The difference is that I don't think Louis has a grudge against Legohsi for wanting to date haru and stuff. They're not important to this post yet, but I'll bring it up.)

[deepautumncolors]

Book Reviews

12/28/23

This book was such a sweet holiday romance! I’m really glad I waited until December to read it right before Christmas. If you can get past the idea that nobody noticed the twins weren’t who they were supposed to be, you’ll like it. I mean, I know a pair of twin sisters and even though they look alike, their voices still sound different. Anyway, I was a little surprised that Charlie and Cass didn’t tell each other what was going on in “their” lives and that they didn’t confess to Miguel and Jake a little sooner, but it didn’t bother me. I don’t watch baking shows nor do I even cook that much, but it didn’t take away anything from the story for me. The book had a few minor errors, like missing punctuation, that would have been caught with careful editing. And once in a while I would have added a comma or put certain words in a different order within the sentence, but I can overlook that. There were a few times the dialogue was a bit juvenile and some moments were slightly cheesy and predictable, but I knew what I was getting into when I decided to read it. That’s just how this genre is. Overall, it was a cute, clean, and appropriate story with only kissing and no swearing. I thought the structure was set up well with one chapter from each twin’s point of view on the same day. I didn’t have a hard time keeping their stories straight. I loved the role that each character played in the story, including the townspeople like Sharon and Faye. I thought the plot was thought out very nicely and I liked how everything was tied up at the end. I am looking forward to reading the other Christmas book by these authors. (Maggie Knox is a pen name for the writing duo Karma Brown and Marissa Stapley.)

1/7/24

This is the second holiday romance book by these authors. While I was in the middle of reading their first one, I called the library to order this book a couple weeks before Christmas so I could read it over the holidays. But they didn’t have it and the librarian said there were already some holds for it, so she put me on the waiting list and I wouldn’t get to read it for a while. Well, it turned out my husband overheard me on the phone and stealthily ordered it from Amazon, so I was surprised to receive it as a gift on Christmas Day! Anyway, I just finished reading it. I enjoyed it, but I liked The Holiday Swap a little bit better.

This story is about two singers named Sadie Hunter and Max Brody competing on a show called Starmaker, which is a lot like American Idol, in Nashville. They have amazing chemistry when they sing together onstage, so the audience loves them and roots for #Saxie to win. The producers convince them to compete as a couple for the rest of the show in order to boost ratings or else they will be eliminated, so they maintain a fake relationship in their everyday lives even though they “can’t stand each other” offstage. At least, that’s what the plot summary says on the back cover – I wasn’t convinced. They butted heads a couple times, but to me it didn’t seem like they hated each other enough. They also had a lot of miscommunication throughout the story that was somewhat implausible at times. Why didn’t she just TELL him about her grandma instead of rushing off? Also, it frustrated me that Max kept jumping to conclusions without just talking to Sadie first. It seemed like every time they needed to talk to each other, one of them never answered their phone. And I found it to be a bit of a stretch that they didn’t talk for an entire year. I get it that the authors wanted it to take place at Christmastime two years in a row so they had to skip from one December to the next, but it’s doubtful that they wouldn’t even call or text each other during that time.

As a fan of the former TV series Nashville, I liked the setting and I could easily picture certain scenes taking place based on what I saw in the episodes. Whenever Sadie and Max performed, I imagined that their voices sounded like Scarlett and Gunnar’s together on the show. I wish I could have heard some of the songs that the characters sang, or at least that a few more lyrics than just a couple lines had been revealed. Perhaps a nice addition would be to add the entire songs at the back of the book. It would make a nice Hallmark movie, being able to actually hear them sing. The character of Cruz was definitely believable even though it’s unfortunate that sleazy producers like him exist in real life. As a Swiftie, I appreciated several references to Taylor Swift. I thought the dialogue was a little stronger than it was in the previous book. There was also a little swearing and the romance scenes were spicier. I liked Saxie’s happy ending, even though it took them a while to finally get there.

[ellie-bygrave]

FMP - "At the forefront": Lumen

Using UE5 gives access to a very powerful lighting tool called Lumen, which has dynamic global illumination and reflections built-in. This allows for real-time viewing of the final output when working on a game or render. Previously, lighting had to be baked in order to see the full effects of any changes, a process which could become time consuming in a complex scene. Lumen calculates and shows all lighting and reflections as you edit things, speeding up and streamlining the workflow.

I use Lumen almost exclusively and have been using it in my current project. Lumen has been great for getting realistic reflections on my glass material as well as being useful for creating the bright sky with a slightly darker inside area.

However, there are some limitations to using Lumen. I have been experimenting with adding a mirror into my level. To do this I have used a mirror object with a low roughness and high metallic material to mimic a mirror. There are several ways to actual achieve a mirror reflection in Unreal but the method I found worked best was to use a planar reflection box around the mirror. For this to work, the reflection method in the project has to be set to Standalone Ray Traced. Here you can see the difference in using Lumen reflections (left) vs Ray Traced (right):

Changing the reflection type clearly makes a big difference to the mirror reflections. However, I do see some performance issues when using the Ray Traced reflections. The framerate drops a lot which is not ideal, especially as I plan to screen record the short section of gameplay I'm making for people to watch back.

I managed to create a solution which involves using 2 different post-process volumes. I have one set to infinite extents (unbound) that uses Lumen for reflections. This is what the player would experience most of the time to ensure smooth running of the level. I also created a smaller local post-process volume with exactly the same settings except it uses the ray Traced reflections instead of Lumen. Then I added in a trigger box at the door of the bathroom which, when the player crosses it, disables the main post-process volume, leaving the Ray tracing available to give proper reflections on the mirror. I set it up as a Flip/Flop so crossing into the bathroom allows the Ray Tracing (and causes the frame drops) and going back out re-enables the main post process volume and stops the stuttering. It isn't a perfect solution as there are still frame drops but it keeps them localised to only a small area of the level.

Overall I really enjoy using Lumen as I find it much more intuitive than other methods of lighting. I'm definitely not an expert at lighting and have only touched the surface of what it an do and when to use vs not use it but it is an excellent tool to be able to use.

[lupu3o]

Fixed Issues + Launch Pad + Crossbow + Level Design

While working on my projects I came upon an issue, Unreal Engine kept freezing everytime I tried to save my project or the project auto saved, I went through the output log and saw nothing that could be causing this issue and so decided to backtrack on my steps, by doing so I realised that it works fine in older version. This led to me narrowing down my search to things I have added and It allowed me to come to a conclusion. I made the tilemap four times the size of its original size to create one entire level instead of swapping between multiple levels, by doing so the tilemap kept crashing my game and so I separated it into two different levels.

Due to how my game kept crashing I lost a number of things such as my launch pad and so I had to redo it, luckily for me I remembered how to make it and so I was able to make one with ease but this time adding a paper sprite to it so it suits my game.

Due to how the launchpad kept pushing me lower and lower each time I jumped twice on it I decided to add a delay to it so my character doesn't constantly jump on it, by adding a delay it helps my character be able to jump on it once again and getting the full power of it.

With the crossbow I had to make two actor blueprints, one for the actual crossbow and one for the projectile, starting off with the Projectile event graph, I had to add projectile movement to it and turn the gravity to 0 so that it can actually move from side to side in the direction that I tell it to. I also changed its speed in the projectile movement to tell the actor how fast to move.

Once that was done with I went into its event graph.

In the event graph I made it so that the arrow can actually cause damage when coming into contact with the player character and then having it destroy itself once the character is over with. From other actor I had to drag in an equal node and set it to "get owner" so that I can have it come out the turret once the code nodes for that are done. If the projectile detects a turret it fires into the direction the turret is facing.

I also turned the actor to be editable in order to be able to change its fire interval from faster to slower depending on how I wished it to be.

With the Crossbow actor it was quite simple.

All I had to do was give it a fire projectile command as you can see above and a command to spawn the arrow wherever the turret is placed, by casting it spawn actor projectile to scene the projectile can figure out that the turret is it's "owner" and allows for the entire thing to function when put together.

I ended up running into a number of issues with the projectile not spawning because it kept colliding with the tilemap and so I had to go into the tilemap, give it a tag called Ignore, go into projectile to give it the same tag called Ignore and that seemed to fix the issue and so the projectile started firing.

Once this was over a new problem came into play, the projectile would go on until it hit something and so it ended up loading my levels because it would collide with them. Due to this issue I went and created a wall that the arrow can collide with but the player can still pass through which allowed for the issue to be fixed and once the arrow collides with it the actor destroys itself. As of right now I have 3 levels and I am aiming for 4 levels total with the forth being the end of the game, each level has a different aspect to it and includes a different mechanic in each as to keep it a little diverse.

The big white blocks in the levels are to keep the player from going a certain direction, I figured the game would look better if the player could see stuff to their left even though it is not accessible. The first level is simple with there only being normal spikes.

The second level is slightly bigger and a bit more complex, in this level I implemented some retractable spikes at the ending right before the player gets to level 3. This level also introduces the launch pad to the player with them needing to use it to go upwards, from there they have a couple of options, go left/right/up to collect more points or go right and down to the ending where once they get past the spikes level 3 loads up.

The image of Level 3 is slightly tinnier due to when I get close to it, it becomes insanely bright since I used black colours in it. This level is where I actually introduced the turret mechanics, added a launch pad that launches the player to the right onto a platform which leads to another launch pad going upwards towards some retractable spikes, this level makes the player need to go right and then backtrack to the left to reach the final level which is in progress as of right now.

[letterstotheflre]

that’s the thing about illicit affairs

summary: james was never hers to lose.

warnings: CHEATING, age gap (not specified but reader is in her 20s), tiiiny angst?? i don’t think it’s sad lmao, allusions to sex and one miniature sex scene, some food mentions, and a very badly written argument.

word count: 3k (why are they always so long ffs)

a/n: my first james potter fic <3 i love this man so much, sorry for making you the bad guy here. this one’s been sitting in my drafts for a few weeks, and since i’ve been feeling kinda sad i finally got around to edit it. also hedric rights!!

They always meet like this.

The room is dark except for a small sea salt lamp she bought on sale from Target. Her clothes are piling up on the floor, discarded carelessly by her lover, and his are not too far from meeting the same fate.

He is kissing her hungrily as he could never get enough of her. His hands travel all over her back while she unbuttons his shirt, their lips never parting. He moves her to her bed, the sheets a pale green that reminds him of—

No. He closes his eyes tightly, pretends the green is actually blue like the lacy bralette that covers her breasts and moves his lips down to her jaw. He sucks and nips and bites, letting her moans echo freely between the four walls that make their little sanctuary.

Her hands quickly undo his belt and stroke him lightly through the fabric of his boxers. He groans against the junction of her neck, the skin softer than anything he’s touched in years.

He pushes her down on the bed, cupping her face while he looks at her properly, noting the tangled hair caused by his fingers. Her lips are puffy and shiny, his kisses being the perpetrator of their current state. He waits for her to say something, to give him a sign that this is okay.

(It’s not okay, and they both know it. It’ll never be okay.)

She nods her head, and he kneels in front of her, pushing her legs wide open before he dives in.

—

She is laying on her bed, the sheets covering her body as she watches him try to fix up his hair in front of the mirror on her makeshift vanity.

“Make sure no one sees you leave,” she says, “and put—”

“Put my hood up, I know,” he finishes the sentence for her. It’s not the first time they do this dance.

“Sirius and Remus are with Harry at home. I told them I was going for a run, so they won’t say anything if I show up all sweaty,” he adds, trying to fill the awkward silence.

She just nods her head, fingers playing with a loose thread on the edge of the sheet, pulling it a bit more every time she twists her index finger. He steps forward, then sits on her bed and traces her cheekbone with his knuckles. “You know I care about you, right?” he asks.

Her heart clenches, a heavy weight pressing down on her chest that makes it hard to breathe for a second. She lowers her eyes, refusing to stare at those hazel irises that started everything. “I know, James,” she assures quietly, looking at a picture of her and Harry that’s stuck to the wall just behind him.

James brushes back some stray hairs that are still stuck to her forehead, then presses a small kiss on the slightly sweaty skin. He gives her a tentative smile before heading to the door, and she only looks in his direction when she hears the click of the door.

(He might care, but not enough.)

—

Sundays are always a slightly awkward affair at first.

Both of their families have been friends for years, getting together every Sunday for lunch at the Potter’s. James and Sirius always man the grill with her dad, all of them wearing those corny ‘kiss the chef!’ aprons. Her mother helps Lily make the salads in the kitchen while they gossip with Remus, who steals a few tomatoes when they aren’t looking. Now that it’s summer, she and Harry splash each other in the pool instead of catching up in his room.

It’s always strange seeing James in the light of day, pretending that this is the only version of him she knows: the version of him that is a friend, a father, a husband.

But she knows the other version of him: the one that has her on her knees begging for a taste of him, the one that grips her hair while he pounds into her from behind, the one that lets his tongue explore places of her no one else has. The version of him that kisses her forehead and plays with her fingers while their bodies are tangled together under the sheets. The version of him that kisses her as if she were the only one made for him.

(She isn’t.)

They are sitting around the table eating. Sirius is laughing about something with his arm around Remus’s shoulders, his bark of laughter echoing across the garden. Her mother’s shoulders shake as Lily rolls her eyes in amusement. James and her father have gone back to the grill to bring everyone their second round of burgers, and she can hear her father complaining about something from work.

“Here y’go, kid,” says James as he places the plate in front of her before ruffling her hair. She tenses up for a second before relaxing, muttering a small “thank you” before reaching for the ketchup.

She hates that nickname. It’s so impersonal, keeps a distance between them that truly doesn’t exist. As if he isn’t the only person that can make her vision whiten and the colours of her room hazy while she clutches his shoulders. As if he isn’t the only person who can pull so many different sounds from her vocal cords, sounds he knows no one else has ever heard before because he is the only one who can create them.

She can feel Sirius’s eyes on her as she stretches one arm, so she hesitantly glances at him. He raises an eyebrow, eyes switching back and forth between James and her, and she can see the cogs turning in his mind.

She gulps anxiously, dismissing him with a wave of her hand and goes back to eating.

—

James’s moans are loud as he gathers her hair in a makeshift ponytail. His cock is buried in her throat, and he watches as she gags for a second before relaxing her throat.

She’s taking him so deep that her nose nuzzles his pubic hair, the musky scent of James filling her nose as she breathes deeply through it. She starts moving her head up and down, swirling her tongue around the tip every time she rises.

He is a mess above her, needy whines and wanton moans leaving his mouth. His hips thrust up softly, slowly fucking her mouth, and he relishes in the small choking sounds she makes. His head rolls back as he groans, “That’s it, baby, so good to me.”

She winces at the name and pulls away from him. “Don’t call me that,” she mutters, but her hands never stop stroking him. She takes him back into her mouth and starts sucking with a newfound fervour, his voice echoing inside her head as she tries to make him forget about her.

(She tries to forget too.)

—

Honey rays filter through her window.

They are both laying on her bed, James on his stomach while she refills the glasses with some cheap wine she got from the store. He looks at the tiny purple splotches on her neck and the red fingerprints on her hips, then smirks proudly. When she turns, she smiles at him softly.

There’s a summer breeze that ruffles her curtains, and he can hear some teenagers laughing as they walk down the street over the music that plays from her speaker.

She places her glass on her nightstand, her nipples brushing his naked back as she leans over him. She lays down on her side, her fingertips softly drawing shapes on his skin. It takes him a moment to realize they are not random shapes but letters.

Her name, written over his scattered freckles and connecting his moles with cursive loops.

He takes her hand and kisses it, slightly chapped lips pressing against her open palm. Then he kisses her lips, still bitterly sweet with grapes, as his tongue moves languidly against hers while he pulls her by the hand on top of him.

It feels like a distant memory. It feels like a dream.

—

The cacophony of different voices singing “Happy Birthday” rings in her ears.

Harry is at the front of the table, an adorable blush dusting his cheeks at the attention. On either side of him are James and Lily, smiles wide as they watch their son blow the candles. Cedric is behind him, hands on his shoulders, and he leans forward to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

She sings and claps, whooping with Sirius when Harry blows the last candle. She eats cake and drinks the pretty cocktails Lily ordered. She smiles and laughs, pretends she couldn’t see the way the candles made the golden band on James’s ring finger beam like the sun.

She pretends she doesn’t see the way James holds Lily’s waist before kissing her. She pretends she can’t see them dancing slowly to a song Remus put on the Spotify playlist as a joke.

She pretends she can’t hear his footsteps following her when she goes to the bathroom. She feigns disinterest when he grabs her wrist and pulls her towards a deserted corridor.

But she can’t ignore the butterflies in her stomach when he kisses her, the thrumming in her veins when he pushes one leg between her thighs, nor the pleasure-filled gasps and moans that leave her mouth when he helps her roll her hips along his covered thigh.

It’s thrilling; they’ve never done something like this in public, much less in such proximity to friends and family.

(In such proximity to her.)

Even though she knows it shouldn’t, it gives her a sense of victory. Because he is here with her now: he is kissing her, making her moan, and whispering dirty things in her ear.

A faraway call of his name breaks the spell they’re under. They pull away hastily; she fixes her dress while James makes sure there are no lipstick stains on his face. The footsteps are getting closer, heels hitting the floorboards at the same rhythm as their rapid beating hearts.

It’s Sirius.

James almost breathes a sigh of relief, but she remains tensed up. Sirius looks between them, the same look he had that Sunday all those weeks ago on his face, and she feels bile rising in her throat.

“Lily’s looking for you,” he says, his thumb pointing back over his shoulder towards the reception where everyone’s gathered.

“Right,” says James. “Better go see what she needs. You do not want to see an angry drunk Lily.” He laughs, almost oblivious to the awkward tension between his two friends. He goes back to Lily, leaving her leaning against the wall and Sirius standing in the middle of the hallway.

Sirius looks at her, and even though his mind already knows, he refuses to believe it. “I didn’t know where the bathroom was,” she offers as an explanation. It’s a flimsy excuse, she knows that, but it’s the best she can do under this kind of pressure.

“Right,” he whispers with a short nod, then follows James.

She stays rooted to her spot, lips tingling with the ghost of James touch and a guilty mind.

—

Hours later, she clings to a pillow as she lays on her bed alone. The same pillow James was resting on less than twelve hours ago.

She breathes in deeply, trying to catch any scent of him she can, but there’s only the scent of her fabric softener.

There’s no James. No citrus shampoo or woodsy cologne nor salty air from the beach near his house. Because he never wears any cologne when he comes to her, ensuring that there’s no trace of him once he leaves.

Like he doesn’t even exist.

—

It ends in a parking lot a month later.

She was waiting for Luna to arrive at the mall but ended up asking for a rain check when James texted her, saying they needed to talk.

‘Meet me behind the mall’, she texts him.

She walks to the back of the building and waits for his red car to show up. She already knows where this conversation is going to go, and her heart shatters at the thought of saying goodbye to him.

She raises her head when she hears a honk in front of her, and she gets in while whispering a small “hey”. He doesn’t start the car again, just settles for turning the ignition key off. She looks at the families leaving the mall through the tinted window, refusing to look at him, as her knee bounces up and down anxiously.

The silence is heavy, and she suddenly feels cold in the August heat.

James takes a deep breath, “We can’t keep doing this.”

She can’t help the snarky comment. “That’s not what you were saying yesterday while you had your fingers buried inside me.” He looks at her unimpressed, and she rolls her eyes.

“It’s wrong,” he says— as if she doesn’t already know that. “C’mon, baby, don’t make this harder than it has to—”

“I told you not to call me that!” she raises her voice, and the car gets silent again. She hates the tears that gather in her eyes, hates that she cares so much about him and their stupid game, but she couldn’t help it. Not when he whispered so many sweet nothings in her ears and caressed her skin so softly, almost afraid to break him if he was too rough.

(Not that he cared about that when he stretched her wide open and thrust so hard into her that the bed frame banged against the wall.)

“You can’t just show up here and tell me it’s over like you weren’t the one that came to me first,” she jeers, and she can see the tick of his jaw as he clenches it. Good, she thinks, make him angry.

“Don’t just blame me. You didn’t say ‘no’ once.” He grounds out, “In fact, I can recall you were begging me to fuck you against the wall.”

Her cheeks turn into a small fire, a slight feeling of shame overcoming her. “Oh, like you were any better!” she exclaims. “‘Been thinking about you for months.’ ‘You have no idea the things you do to me.’ ‘No one can suck my cock like you.’ ‘I care about you!’” She deepens her voice to mock him.

James opens his mouth to keep the ball rolling, and she wants him to do it because it meant that the fight was still on, that they wouldn’t have to end this. Instead, he takes a deep breath to calm himself. “I’m telling you now it’s over. Stop acting like a kid who didn’t get her Christmas present,” he says, knowing exactly what he is doing with those words.

“I’m not a kid,” she snaps, her eyes fighting back angry teats at his dismissal. “Then stop acting like one,” he shrugs.

Her hands turn into fists, nails digging themselves into her palms as she tries to keep her anger at bay. “Do you know how much of myself I gave to you? How many plans with my friends have I cancelled in case you called? How many guys I stopped seeing because they weren’t you?” she rants, her voice increasing in volume as she lets her frustration take over. Then, she pauses. “You’ve ruined me, James.”

Her voice is so pained that it makes his heart clench, and he lowers his head, refusing to look at her. He knows, God, he knows what he’s done, but he couldn’t help it. He had been so lonely with Lily spending so much time at the hospital, and then there she was with her caring and understanding nature. With her adorable laughs and those touches that were so addictive, a mercurial high that gave him the lowest lows whenever he tried to stop.

He keeps his mouth shut; there’s nothing left to say anyway, and it’s better for her to hate him rather than anything else. “You are not going to say anything?” It’s meek, vulnerable, and she wants to slap herself for acting this way. She knew it would never last, that he would always choose her.

He was never hers to lose, so why is she still fighting?

She nods her head in surrender, biting her lip to stop herself from sobbing. The anger now gave way to sadness, “I can’t believe I let you make a fool of me.” Her voice is hoarse, a result of the lump in her throat that prevents her from swallowing comfortably.

She gets out of the car and slams the door shut, then leaves the parking lot, leaving him behind. She keeps walking, fingers gripping the straps of her bag until she reaches an empty street.

The golden sun is ready to dip on the horizon, and she can hear James’s car speeding behind her.

—

She doesn’t let the tears fall until she’s inside her apartment.

The moment she closed the door, she crumbled to her knees, loud sobs falling from her mouth and fat tears rolling down her cheeks. It takes her a moment to gather enough strength to walk to her room.

She cries and cries, buries her face in her pillows and starts sobbing even harder because she can smell him. The salty scent and citrus shampoo finally embedded themselves in the fabric, and she can’t believe that after all those days she craved to feel him close to her, he chooses now to leave a trace behind.

She cries for hours until her eyes are puffy and red, and snot comes out of her nose. Her chest heaves with short breaths that don’t really fill her lungs as she clings to that damn pillow before throwing it across the room. She can’t believe it ended like this: with her completely broken for anyone else while James gets to go back to his life and act like nothing ever happened.

Yet she knows that if she had to choose, she would do it all over again because if she had to choose someone to be her ruination, she would choose James Potter a million times.

TAGLIST: @emmaev @gxtitobxby @ildm4ev @capsmischief @arisblackhole @dracosafety @dracoxgeorge @tonystarksmutgarden @blowing-mikey @roonilwazlibswhore @lovelylupinx @sarcasmismyon1ydefence @marxy-06 @glossiable @remusjlupinisdead @amixedwitch @mattefic @artisancowbells @zzzfour — if you want to be added tap here

[blueathens]

Avenging My Father - AGAPE SERIES

                   ACT TWO, SCENE SEVEN

SONG: Headspace by Lewis Capaldi QUOTE: “I just couldn’t like him the same way he liked me.”

A/N: Not proofread or edited - I changed this so many times - delay in posting this chapter

Previous || Next

Masterlist//Main Masterlist//Agape Masterlist

For Bobby, both Buck and Kasey reminded him of Sal Deluca, a firefighter he reassigned to Station 122 not long after becoming Captain. The three of them regularly disobeyed his orders, Kasey, however, does it more often than Buck and more extreme than Deluca ever could. Bobby thinks it's her heavy survivor's guilt that constantly weighs her down.

If Kasey loses someone, she will forever feel like its her fault, even if there was no way in saving them, Kasey will still believe she wasn't good enough – that she was the reason they died.

Kasey never expresses this feeling though, not really, it's just something you figure out when you get to know her.

On her inner arm were the angel numbers '444,' she got this tattoo as it was exactly how she sees herself as – protection.

That she was a human shield that could take everyone's pain as long as it meant someone else could live.

Bobby thinks that Kasey sometimes forgets that she's human, just like everyone else, that she can't save everyone and be a protector for them all.

Bobby even thinks that Kasey will die at his hands one day as she won't follow the orders that are meant to keep both the team and civilians as safe as possible. Or it will just lead her to a lot of trouble in the near future, but today it was him that was getting in trouble, not Kasey, but as the tension rises, Bobby could feel that something was going to break within her, and someone will discover a truth that they do not like and use it to ruin her.

However, the truth was not going to be true, if Kasey's story didn't come from her mouth then it isn't true, but Bobby knows that someone will eventually one day mix up her words and use it against her thinking it's the truth, when it's not.

Kasey Strand was one of the best damn firefighters anyone could ever meet, and it was a damn shame that she held so much darkness that if it falls into the wrongs hand, it could ruin her, but today wasn't going to be day where someone ruins Kasey Strand.

But it is the day where Kasey begins to worry about her role as a firefighter as she walks up the stairs, not knowing that one of the best fire station captains has to be suspended from the station.

Today was the day Robert Nash was in danger.

"Hey, Cap." Greeted Chim, being the first one to make it up the stairs, seeing Bobby in his usual seat at the dining table. "Why are you sitting up here in your civvies? And how come I am not smelling my breakfast?"

Hen laughs, and Bobby puts on a fake smile, Kasey could tell, she could tell he was faking his happiness, she knew this as she too was a master of faking happiness, but she also knew Bobby and she knew he was faking that smile on his face.

She stuffed her hands in her pockets as she stood a little away from her team.

"Maybe you should all sit down."

Kasey's teeth sinks into her bottom lip as she mentally prepared herself for the worst.

"Oh," Hen frowns slightly. "This doesn't feel good."

Kasey rounds the table standing at the last chair of the table as she looked straight forth instead of at Bobby who now raised from his seat like one would to make an announcement.

"All right. I know the shift's about to start, but I wanted to be here to tell you this in person. As of this morning, pending further investigation, I am officially suspended from my duties here at the 118."

Kasey's face went blank as she pulled her best poker face at those words, when really she felt like something from within her was dying – Captain Robert Nash was being suspended. Bobby, someone Kasey has looked up to the moment she came here in 2016. The guy who has helped Kasey through so much in her life and tries his best to keep her on her feet.

Kasey didn't know how the 118 without Bobby, and Kasey didn't want to find out what 118 without Bobby was like.

"What? Why? That-That's insane. Suspended for what?" Buck stuttered out.

"For not disclosing what happened in Minnesota before I took the job."

Bobby watched as Kasey bowed her head, eyes closing as she gives a soft shake of her head to the table. Her jaw was firmly set, and her lips were pressed in the thinnest line one could ever see.

In the 118, Kasey Strand was the only one who knew about Bobby's past, and just like him he was aware of some of her past, something Buck has overheard through the passing years. And in their conversations between the two best friends, Kasey never dared to tell Buck that much about her life due to mainly fear.

"Minnesota? That's old news."

"Well, not to them and if they knew all the details," – like Kasey does – "there's a very good chance they never would've hired me."

Bobby related to Kasey in the fact that the pair shouldn't have ever been hired due to their past, but due to them both being able to hide it well they were able to join and become firefighters.

Kasey also knows it's her military background that was able to hide her old life for her to be able to have her new life here in LA with her previous firefighter training.

However, Bobby and Kasey are not bad people, they are very kind souls who just been hurt too much in the past, and due to that hurt it led them to places that suggested they shouldn't be having these new lives.

"Cap, you don't owe them that part of you," Hen speaks up. "You owe them your record."

Kasey wonders if that was why her old record was wiped clean and was replaced with a new one before and after the military due to her good work.

Furthermore, Kasey knew that out of everyone Bobby deserves his place in the 118, he was one of the nicest and most hardworking person she knew who would never put anyone in harm's way.

And her heart fell to the pit of her stomach knowing that his past was catching up to him and it was beginning to ruin his life.

"All the people you've helped." Buck continues.

"The lives you've saved." Eddie says.

"Well, I knew the truth would catch up to me one day," Bobby gives Kasey another glance, but she was still in the same position as she was the first time he looked her way. "I just figured by the time it did, it wouldn't matter. I'd have nothing left to lose. I was wrong."

By the time everyone slowly leaves and heads to do their duties around the firehouse, Bobby makes his way towards Kasey who has looked like she hasn't moved a muscle, but as he gets closer he notices her taking small, quiet, breaths, almost like she was trying to calm herself down from something.

Bobby places his hand on Kasey's shoulder and she jumps slightly as she takes a step back to look and Bobby. Her hands were behind her back as she blinked at him and shows him a small, sad smile.

"You're going to come back," Kasey says lowly.

"Kasey–"

"You're going to come back," she repeats, trying to convince the both of them. "They can't fire you. They just can't."

Kasey felt like she was six again after she sees her dad again after the 9/11 incident, how she felt so lost and just needed a parent's comfort, and the only parent that willingly gave her that was her dad, the guy she cried for as she watched the news, knowing he was there trying to save as many people as he could whilst also losing himself in the process.

Kasey felt like she was six again when Bobby took her smaller body and wrapped his arms around to comfort her like a father would for his daughter, rubbing her back as he promised her he'll be back working in the 118 soon.

But Bobby thinks he has just lied to Kasey.

"You're going to have to be careful, Kas," Bobby whispers. "They're going to discover the whole truth about me, and they soon could find yours, and if it's not you telling them, then they're going to believe in the wrong thing – the thing that's going to get you into a lot of trouble."

Bobby feels Kasey nod against his chest before she pulls herself away and pushes her the side of her hand against her nose before moving further back. "I should head down and–"

Bobby smiles, "Have a good shift, Kasey."

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"Barry Johnson, 57." Athena announces loudly as the 118 jump out of their vehicles, grabbing their equipment that were needed to attend the man that fell. "Seems to have had some kind of existential crisis after lunch. Threw all his money off the roof and then decided to jump it."

Buck whistled as he, Eddie and Kasey looked up to the said roof the man jumped from. "Wish I had that type of money."

Kasey hums, pursing her lips to the side as she turned her head to look at Barry on top of the broken car. "It probably make you very unhappy just like this man." She walks ahead, leaving her two friends behind as she brings herself closer to the injured man. Kasey wasn't carrying any bags of equipment, in fact she didn't simply feel like she was useful for something like this, she felt pretty useless as she just stands back and watch, at those times it doesn't even feel like Kasey is a firefighter, she just feels like a helpless civilian.

"Falls 20 stories and lives."

"20 stories? How is that even possible?" Questioned Buck as he walked slightly ahead of Hen and Athena, and Eddie joins them a second later.

"We also got a few greedy bystanders with minor injuries," Athena raised her finger to point at the small crowd right by them. "Not sure how you want to handle those." Athena takes a glance at Kasey who stood right by the, inspecting his body in hopes she be able to tell her team the injuries for them – at least then she wouldn't feel so hopeless.

"That's up to the Cap," Hen states just as Chimney leaves his vehicle and Kasey takes a glance over her shoulder and gives a quick roll of her eyes – she's been bossed around by Chimney too much and he has only been Captain for only two shifts.

Kasey was getting sick and tired of making coffees.

"Uh, interim Cap," corrects Buck, "this is just temporary until Bobby comes back."

"You keep telling yourself that, Buck." Chimney tilts his head back to stare at the roof the man jumped and survived from as he chewed on his gum. His attention then turned to Barry who groaned, and Kasey takes a step back, lips pressed together as her hands go behind her back whilst she stares down at her shoes.

To Kasey, the man just looks badly injured – meaning she has nothing important to tell her team as they would easily be able to see he's injured.

"Whoa. All right, I'll take spinal precaution." Chimney heads towards Barry, pulling Eddie's shoulder bag off from his shoulder. Chimney walks past the youngest firefighter and completely ignores her due to still being sour about her constantly backchatting him the moment he's become Captain.

He puts the bag down and begins to unzip it before pausing to look at his team who hasn't moved a muscle, but all held a confused look, "right, I'm the Captain. Uh, Hen, Eddie, you're with him." Chimney gestures towards Barry. "Buck, go with John. Triage the minor injuries. And I'll get the Jaws."

Kasey let out a low breath as she waited in the same position for her order, but it never came. And it felt like something else died within Kasey, it made her feel pathetic. This wasn't unusual, she hardly helped with the injuries as she never was able to get more training for it, not like the others in her team,

But when she sits in her car, before she attempts to try and sleep, she reads many medical books, reads the documents the chief sent her via emails, and watch those professional medical videos just so she can understand these things better – just so she can help her team in more areas.

But Kasey just stays there, still waiting for her orders, and she feels pathetic. Chimney was able to say at least a major injury that could have happened to him – which was injuries to the spine – but Kasey couldn't even state that, she didn't even think of the most obvious injury.

Of course there was going to be a problem with his spine.

The water in her eyes begins to build up until she couldn't see anything, her vision becomes blurry, and a huge rush of tiredness and numbness took over her. It was pathetic, she thought, why was she getting so agitated over this?

Over Bobby, over Chimney, over herself and over not being able to help?

Eddie and Hen look over their shoulders to see Kasey just standing there.

"Did Chim not instruct you to a task?" Confusion dripped from Hen's voice.

Kasey tried to speak but she knew if she did then the two of them would quickly realise that she was trying not to cry, and she didn't want them to know or she would feel more pathetic. It was minor things, she told herself, keep it together.

She just shakes her head before looking up at the roof once again and let out a shallow breath, not realising she was being watched by Eddie before he had to turn back to his work with a heavy heart.

Eddie Diaz was beginning to realise that Kasey Strand was not okay, and he began to question how long has she not been okay and how long has she been putting up a façade?

Eddie hated himself for not noticing sooner. The team obviously noticed that Kasey looked a little bit more tired than usual lately, but they all thought it was the extra shifts she kept on asking for that made her seem that way.

But to Eddie now, he thinks there's much more to that as seeing Kasey now, where she isn't putting up a façade as she doesn't know she's being watched, seeing her now expresses to Eddie the raw sadness and pain that emerges from her, and it was a type of pain that made you want to hold that person under a blanket, fire going in a corner, as words of 'you're enough' and 'let me help you,' would be whispered.

So he turns to Barry with a heavy heart as he realises he has only just noticed the true sadness that came off from his best friend.

"All right, Barry. I'm gonna give you something for the pain, okay? It'll take the edge off but you'll probably still gonna feel it."

"Can't you just knock me out'?"

"Sorry, I need you to stay with me." Barry groans once more at Hen's words. Eddie was now in the car, sat in the backseats as his feet where out of the door and planted on the pavement outside as he checks Barry's legs.

"Compound fracture, both legs." Barry grunts and shouts as Eddie continues to check him over. There was glass everywhere, even on Barry's clothes from where he crashed and feel slightly into the back windscreen of the car. His head was against the boot, ever so slightly elevated up so he wasn't laying on shards of glass, and around his neck was a brace.

"Hasn't lost bowel control."

"At least I got that going for me."

"These are all positives, Barry," Hen calmly says as Eddie climbs out the car to look up at the roof once more, trying to figure out how someone could survive a fall like that. "Means your spine's probably okay."

"Ma'am, you said you saw him fall?" Eddie asks the closest civilian to him.

"Yeah," she nods.

"How did he land?"

"Feetfirst," she whimpers.

"Couldn't even do this right," moans Barry. "This morphine's nice, though."

Kasey has moved herself to stand by the ambulance, leaning against the fire truck next to it as she watches Hen pushes Barry on the stretcher.

"You have anyone you need us to call?"

"My wife left me. My kids hate me. My only friend is suing me. next time, I go headfirst."

"You had all that money, though," Eddie states as he pulls the stretcher by the front, right by Barry's head as he walks towards the ambulance backwards. "Why'd you throw it out the window?"

"That money ruined my life. A year ago, I'd have thought it solved all my problems. Just multiplied them."

"Wait," the woman who made the call says, "wait, what-what happened last year?"

"I won the lottery."

Chimney closes the back doors of the ambulance, turns around and shrugs at the woman. "Careful what you wish for." The engine starts as Chimney walks away, the woman pulls out her lottery ticket from her purse and rips it apart.

Eddie clears his throat as he stands next to Kasey, shoulders brushing for as they stood next to one another. Kasey was only slightly smaller than Eddie, it wasn't a grand height difference, but it was a pleasant height difference.

Kasey's strained voice beat Eddie's in talking first as she asked him, "are you happy?"

Eddie opens his mouth, closing it, then opens it once more, but then he closes it and doesn't open it again until he found the right words. He ponders on that question as the both of them look ahead of them, watching as the crowd of people slowly move away and go back to their lives.

"Yes," he finally says, "but I know I can be happier – that I deserve to be happier."

"You deserve more than the world, Eddie." She whispers and Eddie could feel his face begin to heat up at her words, looking down at his shoes whilst he hides away his smile.

No one has ever said that to him before.

No one has thought of Eddie as that much before, but here Kasey was telling him he deserved more than the world, and it felt nice, really nice.

More than nice, in fact.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"So we're doing line ups now?" Buck questions as he stands tall in front of Chimney who parade around with his dark sunglasses as gum in his mouth.

"Stow it, Buckley." He then moves down and back up the line, "so, listen up. Because the word of the day is ' hose maintenance.'" He stops at Buck once again.

"Okay, I'm out," Hen says, and Kasey snorts and Chimney made his way towards the youngest firefighter – the only one who wasn't standing up straight, instead she was leaning her right shoulder against the wall, arms folded at her chest as she too wore sunglasses and chewed her gum mockingly.

"This is so stupid," she mutters just before Captain Chimney stops in front of her with his arms behind his back.

"Are you questioning my methods?" The other firefighters eyed the pair out from the corner of their eyes.

"Not questioning them," she simpered, "I'm saying it's stupid."

Kasey sits in front of Bobby at his place where the table was littered with things for a wedding, Kasey smiles faintly at it, before it falls as she looks back at Bobby.

"What if we put a blonde wig on you? They'll never notice that's it you. Then we can have both you and normal Chimney back," Kasey proclaims as she sits proudly at the fact that she just thought of the best idea ever.

Bobby gives a short shake of his head, dying her excitement down.

Kasey leans back in her chair, hands holding the back of her head, groaning. "This is just like Buck with a clipboard," she shakes her head. "Dark times. Dark times."

"I think Chimney is just trying–" Bobby stops himself from talking as Kasey throws him a warning look whilst she sits back normally on her chair. "Forgot what I just said," he raised a hand in surrender. "He shouldn't be annoying my favourite firefighter."

Kasey smiles, "I knew I was your favourite," she whispers in excitement, wiggling in her seat as she taps her fingers against the small available spaces of the table.

Kasey pauses her tapping as her phone vibrates in her pocket, she pulls it out and keeps it hidden under the table as she looks down at the messages popping up:

Eddie: Shannon thinks she's pregnant

Eddie: I'm not ready for that – I don't think I want that.

Eddie: I don't think I want this life with Shannon anymore, it's not the same as it was years ago. I did once love her, but I don't think it was to the point I was ready to be married?

Eddie: I think I lied to you on that shift where I told you I was happy. I'm not happy and I don't think I've ever been truly happy. Only times I know I'm happy is with my family, the 118 and you

Eddie: I don't know what to do Kas...

Kasey frowns as she types a message telling Eddie that she will be at his shortly and quickly turns her phone off at the sound of Bobby's voice. She looks up to see Bobby looking down at his notebook as he writes something down.

"You're coming to our wedding," Bobby tells her. It was in a way an invitation, by an invitation that said there was no way she was getting out of it.

"I thought it was established that the entire team was going?" Kasey questioned as she put her phone in her pocket.

"Yes but they can say no if they're busy, but you – me and Athena won't be truly happy if you're not there Kasey," Bobby puts his pen down as he holds his hands together in front of him, "Athena says she's happy as long as I don't pick the dress and that me, the kids and you are there." He smiles before giving a half shrug, "you're practically our daughter, Kasey."

Instead of something dying within her, something came to life, and Kasey didn't know how to handle that. But she knew, and so did Bobby, that the smile that stretched across her lips was one of true happiness and it was far from being fake.

"I wouldn't miss your wedding for the world, Cap."

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"Christopher deserves you, he deserves his mum," Eddie states at the dining table, Shannon sitting opposite him, and Christopher was at his abuela's. Eddie's phone was turned face up on the table next to his intertwined hands that were placed firmly in front of him as he looked at Shannon, ready to tell her that she wasn't the one who has his heart. "But I," he pauses to think of the right words, but for a break-up – for a divorce – is there actually any correct words to end a relationship? "But I don't think we deserve each–"

"Eddie," Shannon breaths, "I'm not pregnant."

Eddie stops and sits himself up more on the chair, clearing his voice before looking down at his lap and back up at Shannon.

"What?"

"I'm not...I'm not pregnant. I was just late."

"Oh." Eddie utters. "That doesn't matter, Christopher still deserves his mum, but I just don't think we could ever be tog–"

"I wrote this letter," Shannon interrupts once again, "a few years ago, right after I left. Or actually, after I...didn't come back. To Christopher. Trying to explain why I couldn't be there. And I figured that if, for some reason, I never found my way back, that he'd want answers. And he needed to know that...it wasn't his fault. That his mother didn't leave because she didn't love him. She left because she did. I never sent it, obviously. And then when I found out today that I wasn't actually pregnant, I took that letter out, I read it." She shakes her head. "Eddie, I never want to have to send that letter."

"Why would you ever?"

"Because if I try to do this again before I'm ready, there wont be a second chance." She takes a harsh swallow to keep back her cries. "Eddie, I'm not ready to be Christopher's mother, I'm just not. And I know...I know you asked me to come round to end us officially...for a divorce."

All Eddie could do was nod.

"And that's okay," Shannon whispers with a sad smile. "It's okay." She tucks her bottom lip as she gives a painful nod to Eddie. "Just promise me that your heart doesn't belong to anyone but Kasey. That it's her you want to be with."

"It's Kasey," Eddie confirms with a small smile which Shannon returns.

"Good," she sniffles. "That's good. You deserve each other, you know? I see the way you both look at each other, and I, I've never seen you that happy before Eddie. I've never seen anyone that happy before. And Christopher is so happy with her too. You two are good for one another, and I just need you and Christopher to stay happy." Shannon pauses. "Kasey is everything you and Christopher needs and–"

"Kasey doesn't feel the same way."

"How do you know?" Shannon raises her eyebrows. "You don't know if you don't ask her." She leans forwards to tap her hand against Eddie's. "Promise me you'll try with her because I'm certain she feels the same."

Eddie shakes his head in disagreement. "How do I tell Christopher?"

Shannon had no answer except her raising from her seat, saying a small goodbye to Eddie before leaving him alone on the dining table.

He picks up his phone and messages the first person his mind went to, completely ignoring the fact that she's coming later, he needed to speak to someone, and she was the only one on his mind.

Eddie: Shannon and I have agreed on getting a divorce

Eddie: She's not pregnant

Eddie: And I think she just walked out of Christopher's life

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"All right, make way! LAFD!" Chimney leads. "All right, John and Buck, triage the minor injuries. Hen you're with me. Eddie and Kasey, check the driver."

The pair goes to either side of the front doors of the car, Eddie crouching down in front of the red car's open door on the driver's side whilst he unzips his medical bag. "Ma'am, can you hear me?"

"I, um..." Kasey climbs into the passenger seat. "I tried to stop, but I didn't see any of them. Are they okay?" The woman stuttered out.

"Yeah," Kasey says in a gentle tone which carries a slight firmness to it, "we're taking care of the others, ma'am. Right now, we need to see if you're okay."

"Um, m-my neck hurts. Oh, God."

Eddie leans into the car slightly to wrap a neck brace around the woman's neck. "Okay, ma'am, we're gonna put this on you as a precaution until the doctors at the hospital can check you out."

Kasey pulls herself out of the car but stops and turns to look back into the car when she hears the woman stutter again.

"Th-There was a lady. Is-is she all right?"

Kasey head turns to look out at the road where the collusion happened, face falling as she notices and Eddie caught on as he watches her face drop.

'No, no, no, no, no,' Kasey repeated in her head, eyes down casting to the ground as she tries to figure something out, something that would hurt Eddie less. But that was humanly impossible because no one can make someone feel better after seeing some you care for get hurt.

"Kasey?" Eddie's voice reaches Kasey's ears. "What's going on?" She turns to look at him, face falling even further when she notices Eddie turning his head to look out onto the road too.

"Eddie," Kasey breaths before stumbling up to catch Eddie. "Eddie."

Kasey's voice became white noise to Eddie's ears as he rushed towards the woman on the ground. Buck touches him to hold him back but Eddie pushes past him, completely ignoring his and Kasey's calls for him. Chimney stops him next but just like Buck he pushes past and ignores every call he sends his way.

He couldn't hear anything except ringing in his ears.

"How bad is it?" He pants out as Chimney places his hands on Eddie's chest again.

Chimney thought about lying, but he couldn't lie to Eddie, Eddie doesn't deserve to be lied to.

"It's bad."

"Spinal injury?"

"Maybe worst."

Eddie didn't once look at Chimney, not even as he gently pushes past Chimney, pushing his hand away as he tries to reach him once again as he makes his way to his ex-wife, who laid in the middle of a crosswalk.

He kneels down, checking her over as he whispers her name and she greets him like it's a normal day with a simple, "hey." She then asks, "Are you here?"

"I'm here," he offers a small smile.

"Oh, God. This is so embarrassing."

Hen rushes to take the stethoscope out from her ears, "Vitals trending downward."

"All right, let's get her on the backboard! Get her transported, now!" Chimney yells whilst Eddie watches other paramedics take Shannon onto a backboard and places her into the back of an ambulance, but before she gets in her eyes finds Kasey's.

"Look after them," she whispers, but due to Kasey slowly making her way closer to Eddie she was able to hear, and she nods, smiling slightly to silently promise Shannon that Eddie and Christopher will be okay – Kasey will make sure of it.

"I'm riding with her," Eddie says in a voice that told everyone to not try and stop him.

"She's decompensating. We got to intubate her." Hen says just before Chimney dared to stop Eddie.

"Eddie," he places his hand firmly against Eddie's chest, "we put that tube in, there's a good chance it never comes back out." He looks over his shoulder as he notices Eddie's face. "Hen, stop. Do not intubate. Not yet."

"Cap..."

"I know." He looks back at Eddie. "He knows." He then gestures he's head to the back of the ambulance, "get in there and say goodbye."

As the ambulance goes, Kasey sniffles before climbing back into the fire truck, taking the drivers seat as she follows behind the ambulance that trailed behind another fire truck.

Kasey wasn't sure if God existed, but seeing such hurt written across Eddie's fast made her want to climb up to the clouds and murder every God up there for giving Eddie so much pain, pain that he does not deserve.

Kasey cursed them all for being this cruel to a man who didn't deserve any of this.

To a woman who didn't deserve this.

To a child who didn't deserve to lost a parent...

And the moment Kasey reached the hospital, she was the first one to hold Eddie after he showed himself again. The first one to catch him as he fell. And the first one to let him cry in her arms as he clings to her in desperation.

Eddie felt like a child again after he went to his first funeral, he felt like he was a young boy crying and wailing questions to his mum who had no answers about death.

Eddie didn't think he would be feeling this way again for a while, epically after the war, he thought he was going to be okay and that no one he cares about will leave again.

But Shannon did.

She was leaving him all over again, just this time she wasn't going to come back and be a mother to Christopher.

And after Kasey, it was Bobby Eddie hugged next, but he went back to Kasey the second he left Bobby's embrace and all Kasey could do was bring her hand up to his hair, running her fingers through the long locks as she hushes him gently and tells him that they're all here for him.

She doesn't once tell him that everything's going to be okay or that she's sorry, and Eddie appreciates this, he secretly didn't want anyone to say this, and somewhere within him he knew Kasey would be the last one to ever say those words...not until she knew for sure he was going to be alright.

Kasey didn't dare to say it to him though as she knew all he needed was to be held and be told that he has people – that he still got them.

And that was all she did.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

Vanessa Prescott has known Kasey Strand since her birth. Growing up, Kasey befriended Vanessa son, Kit Prescott, who was her childhood best friend before going separate ways just before Kasey went off to fight in the war.

Kit has lived here since 2015 with his boyfriend, but Vanessa moved down to live with Kit in 2017 after the couple broke up.

Then when Kasey came to LA in 2016, Kit and Kasey began to meet up with each other every so often which was later joined with Vanessa after she moved down.

Today, Eddie joins them after Kasey begged him to leave his house for at least an hour and not plan a funeral, she could see being trapped and stressed on planning a funeral was ruining him, and Eddie obeyed and asked if she was busy.

Which, today she kinda was for the morning, but she allowed Eddie to join her in the café that she, Kit and Vanessa was meeting in.

"You've got a kid, right?" Vanessa asked with a smile as she brought her coffee to her lips.

Eddie nods as a real smile dances at his lips for once, it's been a few days since the last time he really smiled, the only times he did was a few very small ones whenever Kasey was round to help look after Christopher whilst he plans Shannon's funeral.

Kasey would try and make jokes whenever Christopher was around to try and keep his spirits up, whilst also Eddie's, and it was nice to see how happy Kasey got whenever either Diaz let out a laugh or a smile.

It even convinced Eddie that soon him and Christopher will be okay, they aren't drained of happiness, and they will be okay again.

"Yes," he smiles. "Christopher, he's one of the best things that has happened to me." Pulling out his phone, he shows both Vanessa and Kit a photo of Christopher whilst Kasey literally beams at the interaction between the three of them.

"He's probably the cutest kid I've ever seen," Kit speaks up, "reminds me of a Koala," both Kasey and Vanessa rolled their eyes as they prepared themselves for Kit's rambles, whilst Eddie throws a questioning look whilst stuffing his phone back into his pocket. "Did you know Koala and human's have very similar fingerprints?"

Eddie shakes his head, "no, I did not know that."

Kasey leans towards Eddie to whisper in his ear, "he's crazy with these animal facts and–"

"Do you ever wish to be a penguin, Eddie?"

Kasey pulls away from Eddie as she stares at her red-headed friend with wide eyes, and she secretly tells Kit to cut it out with her hand moving across her neck.

"Penguins, in my opinion, are one of the most romantic couples in the animal kingdom. When a male finds attraction to a female he will bring her the best pebble and if she likes the offering then they will find pebbles together to build their nest. They even mate for life," Kit sighs as he rests his chin in the palm of his hand, "I wish I was a penguin, and someone would bring me a cool rock."

Vanessa gives Eddie a sympathetic look which leads Eddie to slight confusion because why are they apologising for Kit? He hasn't done anything wrong. In fact, he thinks it's cool that someone has this much interest in animals and happily expresses all tons of information to people like Eddie who aren't so educated in that world.

"You know," Vanessa says as she tilts her head to look at Eddie with a smile that a mother would give their child, "you're the first friend of Kasey's that we have ever had the pleasure in meeting."

Kasey slaps her hand into her face, shaking it in embarrassment whilst a smile makes it way onto her face as she listens to Eddie chuckle next to her.

She hasn't heard him properly since Shannon's death, sometimes there was a very small breathless chuckle here and there, but this time he was looking down with a smile on his face whilst laughter left his mouth.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Kit chimes in.

"I didn't know you wanted to meet them," Kasey said sheepishly as she looked through the gaps of her fingers. She sinks slightly down in her seat as Vanessa sends her a mothering look of 'are-you-for-real?'.

Kasey slowly sits herself up whilst Kit continues to talk, "you must be Kasey's favourite then if she happily allows you to meet two of her most favourite people ever. That must make you a dolphin then, they are Kasey's favourite animals. Did you know that dolphins–"

Kit's voice drowns out to Eddie's ears after he feels Kasey's hand intertwine with his under the table and she feels her gently squeeze his hand.

Out from the corner of his eye, he noticed that Kasey was still looking forwards and nods along to what Kit is saying.

It was only a few weeks ago when the two of them made up this method for each other, around the same time Eddie began to realise that Kasey wasn't okay. Whenever they wanted to secretly ask if the other one is okay, they would hold the others hand and squeeze it. If they squeeze back then they're okay, if they don't then they aren't.

They weren't allowed to lie to one another though.

Eddie likes this method as it doesn't bring attention towards them from other people, and if one of them weren't okay then they didn't need to voice it just yet. They never did it around eyes either, always doing it when or where people couldn't see them because if people saw them holding hands they would think it was something else, when it wasn't, it was just two friends secretly asking if the other is okay.

Yesterday, Eddie only faintly squeezed Kasey's hand at the funeral.

But today, Eddie squeezes Kasey's hand twice, and she smiles.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"Help, over here, my arm!" The woman moans in pain from the ground as the 118 (still without Bobby) enters the bedroom.

"Guys."

"Yeah."

Hen presses lightly on the woman's hand, listening to her grunt slightly. "I can feel it, but I can't move it. Like, really hurts on my shoulder."

"Looks like a fractured clavicle." Kasey mutters and Hen and Chimney look up at Kasey with shocked looks whilst the firefighter simply shrugs.

"What?"

They shake their heads whilst they continued to look over the woman, "it does actually," Hen confirms Kasey's words and a small, proud smile makes it's way onto Kasey's face.

Curiously, Eddie glances over his shoulder away from the phone on the livestream to smile at the sight of Kasey looking proud of herself for something.

"All I'm saying," Buck voice brings Eddie's attention back as he continues his complaints from earlier, "is that Kasey never has taken me to meet Vanessa or Kit."

"They're nice," Eddie replies simply, smiling playfully as he listens to Buck sigh in annoyance – and his smile clearly brought a lot of attention to the people on the live stream as they commented the cuteness of it.

"Yeah, well, that doesn't mean you have to rub it in."

"Uh, dispatch said something about an animal?" Chimney asked whilst Kasey looked around the room for the animal.

"Yeah, it, um, came out of my face."

Kasey pauses her hunting and turns around.

Eddie stands next to Kasey with his hands on his hips. "What are we looking for, exactly?"

"it was like a little, little worm."

"Like a maggot?" Kasey questioned as she tried to hid her disgust.

"Oh, don't say 'maggot.'"

"You know maggots only consumes rotten things like meat or waste or even overripe fruits and – Ow!" Kasey frowns as she rubs her side from Eddie elbowing her, shooting her a look before looking at the woman's disgusted face then looking back at Kasey with raised brows. "Oh...sorry."

"Think you've been talking to Kit too much," joked Eddie quietly.

"I can still here you," Buck muttered furiously but his voice changes to enjoyment when he spots the maggot on the desk. "Maggot!"

"You been out of the country lately?" Hen asks as she puts a cotton arm brace on the woman.

"Uh, yeah, I actually do a lot of traveling for work."

"What do you do?" Chimney wondered.

"Uh, I'm a beauty and fashion influencer."

"Has your circle of influence included Central and South America?"

Kasey watches in disgust as Buck picks the maggot up with a pair of tweezers and brought it closely up to his face to examine it before dropping it in the small plastic tub that Eddie was holding open for him.

Still, the three firefighters didn't know that they were on camera for a livestream.

"No, no. I mean, I did just get back from Belize."

"Belize is in Central America," grumbled Eddie.

"Oh. Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure."

"Botfly," states Hen as she signs a torch onto the woman – Becca's – face. "Parasite indigenous to Central and South America, including Belize."

Now Becca joined Kasey in watching Buck examine the parasite in the cylinder tub in pure disgust.

"They reproduce by trapping mosquitoes and laying their eggs on them. And then when the mosquito lands on you the egg hatches and crawls right into the feeding site."

"Ew."

"Lovely," Kasey voiced, face squeezed up whilst her eyes stays on her best friend who was still looking at the parasite with pureness – like this was one of the best things he has ever seen.

"Luckily, it looks like you got it out all in one piece." Buck says, eyes remaining on the parasite as he tries to bring good news to Becca.

"They'll be able to extract the rest at the hospital."

"The rest?"

"Think of them as new followers."

Buck chuckles and Chimney's comment.

"Gross!"

The team went round Becca to bring her up onto the stretcher. "Wait," she says as she eyes her phone. "Oh, my God, wait." She stretches her arm out. "No, no, no, no, can somebody grab my phone? No, go back. Hand me my phone."

Eddie and Buck notices the stream and both offer two very different waves to the camera before Eddie awkwardly makes his way to the camera to turn it off.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"118, 118, this is Dispatch," Kasey heard through her headphones. "We got Bobby Nash on the line. He says it's important."

"Bobby..." Kasey mutters as she shots Eddie, Chimney and Hen a worrying look.

"Wait, what? Dispatch?" Chimney says. "Dispatch, please repeat."

The fire truck in front of them blows up in flames and Kasey screams, hand on the handle of the door as she tries to open it, but it was still locked.

"Buck! Buck!" She screams. "Buck is in there!"

The driver finally unlocks the door and Kasey pushes it open and jumps out in a hurry, but before she can make a dash towards the truck in flames, Eddie grabs her waist and brings her into his chest.

"Kasey! Kasey! No!"

"Buck! Buck!" She struggled in Eddie's grip. "Buck is in there! I need to see Buck! I need – Eddie let me go!"

"Eddie get her behind the truck!" Chimney demands and Eddie begins to drag a fighting Kasey to hide behind the fire truck.

"No! No! No! Let me get to Buck!"

Hen rounds Eddie and Kasey to stand in front of the pair, she brings her hands up to cup the young's firefighter's face. With her fingers, she wipes away the tears falling from her eyes. "You will get both you and Buck killed if we let you go."

Kasey shakes her head as her bottom lip trembles.

"Please," a broken sob left her lips and Hen sighed before letting her face go.

Eddie's grip become tighter the more she tried to wiggle her way out, he brought his lip down to her ear, breath hitting against her neck as he tried to comfort her. With one hand securely round her waist, he runs the other down her arm to overlap his hand with hers, fingers sliding in between hers as he gently squeezes it.

But to none of his surprise, she didn't squeeze back.

He then wraps both arms around Kasey to keep her securely against him.

Chimney went onto his radio and the people on the other side could hear Kasey's shouts a lot more clearly.

"Give me the Captain!" Freddie states as he paces in front of Buck.

"I swear," Kasey said through gritted teeth as tears rolled down her cheeks, "I swear if he hurt either of them more than he already has," Kasey grunts again, "I'll fucking kill him."

Eddie squeezes Kasey hips to try and comfort her but it just made her want to leave his hold and run to Buck even more.

Her best friend was in danger, and she couldn't protect him.

"Where's the Captain?!"

A firefighter pulls them across the ground in pain.

"Hey," Freddie makes his way towards him. "I told you not to move."

"Hey! Hey!" Kasey yelled as she noticed Chimney stomping his way forwards, "why is he going forwards?! Let me go Eddie! Eddie I swear let me fucking go or I–"

Chimney raises his hands up in surrender, "I'm the Captain, okay? I'm the Captain, so please just let me help them, okay? Please."

"He doesn't want him," Kasey grunts as she continues to fight Eddie grip.

"What?" Hen asks. "But he asked for–"

"He wants Bobby." Kasey responded.

"Kasey, please stop fighting." Eddie mumbles softly in her ear.

"Not until I know Buck is okay."

"No." Freddie says as he slowly walk forwards. "No, I don't want you. I want Captain Nash."

Kasey fought once again against Eddie to reach Buck. But Eddie kept a strong grip on her. Kasey begged him to let her go, but he didn't.

He couldn't risk her getting hurt, but Kasey didn't care.

She didn't care if the guy brought out a gun and shot her. She didn't care as long as it meant she can reach Buck and help him. She has been ready to die for him since the start, and if that meant risking her life just so she could reach Buck, then so be it.

So, she continues to fight against Eddie's grip, but she couldn't escape. But she continued to try for Buck.

Then she stopped at the sight of Bobby emerging from the crowd and heading towards Freddie with his hands up, and Kasey cries out, hoping the two guys she saw as family would hear her – hoping that by some miracle that if Freddie heard he would let them go.

But neither three of them heard her angry cries.

Hen now stood in front of, hand resting on Kasey's cheek as she tried to calm the youngest firefighter down – she promised Kasey that they will be alright, but Hen didn't even know if that was a promise she could keep, but she made it anyways as she had hope that they will.

"Wanted you dead." Kasey heard Freddie say and Kasey had to fight her best to not let herself collapse in Eddie's arms from the sight of two very important people in her life in danger, and that she was over here not being able to help.

It felt like someone stabbing a knife through her heart and twisting it.

"I get that." Bobby slowly takes a step forwards, arms still raised. "But what about them? What about him?" He quickly pointed at Buck with his finger in the air. "He's got parents, a sister, a girlfriend, a best friend, and he never did anything to you. He wasn't even a firefighter when your father burned down the restaurant."

"Collateral damage."

"Is that how you see yourself? An unintended victim in all this?" Bobby was much closer to Freddie now, practically face to face with one another.

"Stop," he raises the trigger, "one more step, we all go boom."

Kasey whimpered and all Eddie could do was hold her.

"Freddie, you got dealt a bad hand and I'm sorry about that. But what you did with it – that's a choice. You stopped being a victim the moment you left that first bomb."

"That lawyer – she..."

"Did her job." Bobby raised his voice. "We were all doing our jobs."

"Destroying my family. My mum and I lost everything. She was in so much pain."

"Want to make it worse? You want to make her watch you die?"

With his head, Bobby nodded his head forwards, and Freddie glanced round to see Athena and a detective with his mum.

She quietly mutters out his name, almost calling for the real him to come back home – to come back to her, for the Freddie she was seeing now was most definitely not her Freddie.

"Mum," he tilts his head almost like an apology.

Bobby sneaks up behind Freddie, grabbing him round the chest and held his hand away from the bomb's trigger. The S.W.A.T team came round Bobby and Freddie as they removed the trigger from Freddie's grip.

Out of shock, Eddie's grip loosens, and Kasey takes that chance to break free and run forwards, dodging Chimney who tried to grab her when she ran past, the moment she was close to Buck she skidded on her knees, not caring for the rips in her uniform or the burns that will be on her knees afterwards.

"Kasey," Buck whispers.

"Hey, hey, hey," Kasey smiles, voice strained from the yelling and crying as she taps her hand against the top of Buck's hand to let him know that she was there, and she was here. "It...hurts."

"I know, I know," she mutters, nodding her head furiously as she laid down to try and take a look of the damage of his leg on the fire truck. "We're going to have to lift it."

Buck groans.

The rest of team moves towards Buck the second Freddie is taking away from the scene.

"Still with us, Buck?" Chimney questions, a small lightness tone in his voice to try and distress the emotions around them.

Buck groans and pants again.

"Buck, how we doing?"

"Kind of numb." Buck responds to Hen. He carefully turns to look at Kasey who kneels right next to him. "Kas...can you hold my hand, please."

Kasey nods and very gently places her hand over his in a way to comfort him.

"This girl wouldn't stop fighting her way to you," Chimney shortly laughs.

"I'm gonna run two lines."

"Skin is cold and pale," Eddie states.

"Kasey...don't go." Buck stutters.

"I've got you. I've always got you," she whispers.

"Push sodium bicarbonate. Just hang in there, Buckaroo."

"Hang on, Buck."

"We got to get the truck off his leg," Kasey stressed. "It's the only way to get him free and–"

"Chimney stands up with his radio, "This is Captain 118. We've got a probably crush injury. I need all –"

Chimney pauses as he watches Kasey move her hand off from Buck's and ignoring his quiet calls for her. She shuffled closer to the truck and places her hands underneath the small gap between the truck and the road, attempting to lift the truck up herself as everyone was taking too long.

Kasey prayed to just suddenly gain super strength for a few seconds just to take this weight off from Buck, and the power to heal Buck too. She just wanted today to be over with, for it all to be a bad dream.

And if people were taking to long to lift the fire truck off from her best friend, her brother, then she will attempt to do it herself.

"–hand on deck to move this truck and clear a path to the nearest trauma centre."

Bobby now reaches them as he places a hand on Chimney shoulder. "How's he doing, Chimney?"

"We're out of time, Cap." Chimney turns. "Well, help Kasey and lift this truck off of him, yeah?"

They all prepared themselves as more hands went onto the fire truck.

"Hang on, Buck."

"Everyone hands on."

"Hurry the fuck up."

"You ready?"

"Hang in there, Buck."

"Ready! Lift!"

They all pushed the fire truck up with all their strength, all grunting whilst Eddie and Hen remained by Buck to check his vitals.

Buck screamed in horrific pain.

"Come on!"

They all placed the truck back down.

"You got to lift higher!"

"One more time, guys. Ready?"

"Hang in there. Hang in there."

"One, two, three, lift!"

The grunts of the lifters were repeated along with Buck agonising screaming and Kasey had to squeeze her eyes shut as she tried not to listen to Buck's screams.

"Higher!"

"Higher!"

"Hang on, Buck."

"She's too heavy." Bobby says with a shake of his head.

"We got anything on the truck we can use for leverage?" Eddie suggested.

"No." Kasey shakes her head, eyes now looking down at the ground. "We need more people."

Chimney brings out his radio, "Dispatch, this is the Capt..." he stops when he saw all the civilians watching them rush forwards the second the barriers were pulled away, all running to help them – to help Buck.

They all rushed to the ladders side of the truck to find space to push it up.

"Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!"

"Everybody, put a hand on where you can!"

"All together. One, two, three."

More grunts were heard as they lifted the heavy vehicle up for the screaming man under it, and finally they lifted it just high enough for Eddie and Hen to pull Buck out from the truck.

"We got him! We got him!"

"He's almost clear! Hold it!"

"Keep pulling! All right, we got him out!"

The truck lowered and hit the ground, but it didn't hit Buck for he was finally out.

Kasey rushed forwards, tapping Buck's hand gently once more just so he knows she's there.

"Kasey," he sighs at the knowing touch of his best friend, his sister.

And when they got him into the ambulance, Kasey was the one to ride with him to the hospital as a friend whilst Eddie, Hen and Chimney worked on him.

And when they got there, she went through the glass doors.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

"And a furious Kasey," joked Chimney as he sees the youngest make her way to the group.

"That better be Bobby in a Captain's uniform," she squinted her eyes as examines Bobby, only to break into a smile and give the man a hug when she knew he was back.

"Admit it, Kas," she turns around to look at Chimney, "you do miss Captain Han just a little."

"I wont lie to you Chim," his face lights up in hope, "I was planning 50 ways to murder Captain Han." His face drops and the group chuckles whilst Kasey leans forwards to gently push Chimney right shoulder.

"Things are finally getting back to the way they should be." Hen says.

"We just need Buck." Kasey mutters as she looks around the firehouse that feels slightly empty without him.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

“People assume we choose this life,” Bobby proudly says as he stands in a higher standard uniform at the front with Eddie next to him, hands behind his back, dressed in a proper and professional firefighter’s uniform. “I’m not so sure. Sometimes I think this life chooses us. For those that answer the call, there can be no doubt, no equivocation. It’s not just the lives of those we serve that depend on us, but our own. The lives of our fellow firefighters and first responders. Today we welcome into those ranks a new brother. After a year of hard work and dedication,” he and Eddie turns to look at each other with a fond proudness. “I am proud to officially declare that your probationary period is at an end. Welcome to the Los Angeles Fire Department, Firefighter Diaz.”

Bobby brings his hand to shake Eddie’s, his other hand went to be placed behind the younger firefighter’s back as their hands stayed together for a little bit longer for a photo to be taken.

“Thank you, sir.”

Everyone in the fire station clapped and Eddie looked round the place he has found belonging within, happily. His eyes found Kasey’s first who clapped and sent a playful wink his way, and Eddie smiled brighter before he looked at Christopher making his way towards him with a helmet in his hands.

Eddie meets him halfway as the claps died down to watch the father and son moment, he then crouches down to pick Christopher up. “What do you got for me, son?”

“I got you a helmet,” he whispers.

“Yeah, my helmet?” Eddie responds back quietly.

Eddie raises his son up into a hug, embracing him tightly as he smiles into his shoulder.

“Congratulations, Dad.”

“Oh,” Eddie awed with a breathless laugh, “thank you so much, Christopher.”

After everyone met or said hello to everyone, Kasey found her way to sit next to Eddie as he sits in the chair next to Christopher who was happily eating a slice of cake.

“Well, hello, Mr Firefighter.” Kasey beamed more when she heard the sweet sounds of Eddie’s laughter reaching her ears.

“Hi,” he looks over his shoulder before looking back at Kasey, “I see Buck is finally meeting Vanessa and Kit.”

Kasey rolled her eyes, “they’ve been talking for ages. Think it’s just Kit and Buck now though, last I heard they were talking about penguins.”

“Oh, God,” Eddie laughs, “and you escaped my mother too?”

Kasey playfully hits Eddie shoulder, “oi, she’s a lovely lady, okay?”

“She is, but she didn’t let you come over to congratulate me.”

“Oh,” she arches a brow his way. “You jealous that another Diaz was stealing my attention.”

He shrugs, “well,” he squints his eyes at her, “a congratulations would have been nice.”

Kasey smirks, “well, name your price and I’ll make it up to you.”

“Got to come back to me for that one then,” Eddie lifts his head to look round the room again, “is Jamie not with you?”

Kasey smirk fell to a small smile, “oh, er, no, we er,” she hesitates as she looks at Eddie before looking forward to facing the trucks that were by their table. “We broke up actually.”

“Oh?” He breaths out, brows raising as a familiar warmth heated his cheeks. “You doing okay?”

“It was mutual and for the best.” She pauses for a moment before quietly saying: “I guess I couldn’t like him as much…”

“As much as what?” Eddie whispers back.

They were staring into each other’s eyes, he’s looking right into her, and she was looking right into his, neither of them daring to look away. Kasey then leans back in her seat, head falling back perfectly, resting on the fire truck behind her, she tried to devise the perfect response. She crosses her legs, and his foot was now near hers, and they were still looking at each other.

Kasey then looks away.

After a few seconds she looks back at him only to see that he was still looking at her.

Kasey wonders if she’s ever seen eyes of such a drunken golden haze before, eyes that made Kasey wonder if he could move mountains and shake the ground with a single blink. Kasey has never noticed how his eyes has so much control over her, never realised that maybe, just maybe, those eyes that held more history than the night sky that her very own eyes would sparkle at the sight of, just like they do when staring up at the moon or the stars, were the first reason she fell for him.

Kasey Strand has realised she has fallen for Eddie Diaz.

The realisation was a hard slap to the face, she thought Jamie was going crazy when he was telling her that she liked Eddie and that it was okay. Jamie was the one to give Kasey the wake-up call, the call of that she liked Eddie.

He had no hard feelings for her, just asked for her to be happy, and all Kasey could say was that she will try, and for him that was enough.

Kasey wondered though how long she has been falling for Eddie and how she never noticed this before.

Was this something everyone knew? Did even Eddie know about her feelings? Is that why he was staring at her in a way that no one has ever dared to before?

Kasey knew after the breakup that she liked Eddie, and she sat in her car for ages thinking of everything she liked about him, and she reached the conclusion that she liked Eddie more than she has ever liked anyone, and if she’s being honest, that scared her. She doesn’t want to screw up like she done her enter life, and she believed maybe liking him in silence may be a good choice, but that would kill her from within, so instead, she chose to wait for so many reason.

For herself. And to see if Eddie felt the same. Also due to Shannon’s death and there was few other minor things that told her to wait too.

But Kasey has fallen pretty damn hard for Eddie Diaz, without even realising that she was falling for him, and she hopes if they ever get a chance together, if by some miracle he likes the “broken” girl next to him, then she hopes that she doesn’t fuck it up.

For a slight second, Kasey’s curious eyes flickered down to his lips, she gulps before shaking her head.

“Nothing,” she coughs, looking away from Eddie. “I just couldn’t like him the same way he liked me.”

A/N: Just to note that Kasey did in fact go to Athena and Bobby's wedding. She was Bobby's best man :)

[pradaksj]

Safety Net || part one. (m.)

all rights reserved © pradaksj

↳do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

❧ summary ⟶ on new year’s eve, you and jungkook reflect on each other’s entire year together. 

❧ pairing⟶ jungkook/reader 

❧ genre⟶  enemies to friends, friends to lovers, roommates au, fluff, angst, pining, eventual smut, boxer!jungkook. two-part series. 

❧ word count ⟶ 24,000+

❧ warnings ⟶ mentions of oral and sex but nothing explicit or descriptive. fight scene that involves drunk man. mentions of bullying (in the past). 

❧ music⟶ safety net, selfish, stuck on you, exile, +more

❧ a/n (please read) ⟶ this story switches a lot from past & present, I color coded borders to make it easier to tell :) dark purple = entering/still in the past, light purple= present, also this is unedited so sorry for any mistakes 😭 ill come back to edit a lot of things soon. 

01 | 02 

“Oh perfect, y/n!” Hobi stops you dead in your tracks before you could completely make your way onto the living room, “You don’t mind grabbing some more firewood from my car while I finish these up,” he says, currently too busy melting the chocolate for the s’mores he was making.

You see tonight was New Year’s Eve, and you and a couple of other close friends had decided to rent out a cabin in celebration of the new year instead of going out to some end of the year party, choosing comfort over a night of wild drinking. In the end it didn’t make much of a difference, because the moment you saw Jimin and Taehyung walk in with a pack of soju and other cheap liquor in their hands, you knew that by the end of the night someone, if not everyone, was going to end up completely wasted.

And of course, you were right. After hours of being outside in the cold, with the boys drinking as if there was no tomorrow, everyone had now made their way back inside, complaining that it was too cold outside and that the cabin came with an indoor fireplace for a reason.

Never one to drink too heavy, you had kept your drinking at a moderate pace, only allowing yourself to reach a relaxed kind of buzz. Namjoon and Yoongi on the other hand were currently debating on whether the US’s landing of the moon was nothing more than a fake ploy to beat Russia and was instead filmed on some movie set. 

Jin and his girlfriend acted as measly facilitators between the two men who had been bickering back and forth for the past hour, their slurred speeches making it difficult to take either one seriously. 

Jimin, for his part, had attempted to keep his drinking at a minimal but with Taehyung acting as his partner in crime, the two were now playing an unbalanced game of ping-pong, both of them looking as if at any moment they were going to knock out on the table. And Jungkook was— well where the hell was Jungkook?

But before you could dwell too much on the thought, Hobi’s voice snaps you back to reality, “pleaseeee, I’ll even add an extra chocolate square to your s’more, just like how always like em,” he flashes you a smile, your roommate of 3, going on 4, years knowing just what to say to convince you, not that you needed much of it. 

Minus Hobi, you were probably the person closest to being sober, and you did not want to imagine the different disastrous scenarios that would happen if he sent anyone who wasn’t yourself out there. You also highly doubted any of them would even be up for it, and so with that you just let out a small groan, mumbling, “Where are your keys?”

Excitedly he points to the kitchen island, where his Hyundai’s keys laid across, “I parked right near the lake,” he says, immediately causing you to look back at him, brows furrowed in confusion, “No one wanted to carry the wood from here to the bonfire earlier, so I just parked near the lake to save our energy,” you roll your eyes, “Come on, it’s just a 2 minute walk at most, and I’m sure there’s still people celebrating across the lake as well so you don’t feel so scared, but if you want I can ask Jungkook to go wi—”

“It’s fine, it’s fine—” you interrupt, grabbing the keys and beginning to make your way out, quickly putting on your coat because God knew how cold it was outside. “He’s probably asleep already, knowing him,” you chuckle, the boy who Hobi had introduced you to in the last year and had been living with you two as well, had habit’s that were all too predictable by now. And though you knew he’d be more than glad to get up from bed and help, for now at least, you wanted him to rest as he, himself, was probably tired from carrying things back and forth all day in the help of preparing everything. “I’ll be quick,” you say.

“Make sure that no wooden splinter cuts you,” he shouts out before the wooden door closes, having been the victim to such cuts all day, “and call me if you find it too heavy!”

Beep. Beep.

Double clicking the lock button, you grunt as you try to simultaneously carry the uneven pieces of firewood and place Hobi’s keys back into your jacket’s pocket.

“Oh my God—” you mumble to yourself, frustrated by the lack of cooperation from the keys. The wood was now slipping from your hands, its gritty texture eager to leave you a cut and as predicted it does. 

Wincing in pain, you uncaringly drop the pieces of wood, worried more about the cut on your hand than what had fallen on the ground below. Luckily the cut wasn’t too bad, nothing a little soap and water couldn’t fix, but the tingly sting in your hand meant that you’d have to wait a while before picking the wooden pieces back up.

Around you, you could hear the sound of different groups of friends and family celebrating with their own events, spotting different bonfires all around the lake. Glancing at the time on your phone, it currently read 11:00, only one more hour until the new year. A part of you was tempted to walk further down the path that led to the lake’s shore. Maybe even secretly wait so that you could watch the fireworks these groups of people most likely had shoot up into the sky at 12. Especially because you knew going back to the cabin, no one would want to come back out with you to watch. Honestly, how bad did they need their wood?

And so by convincing yourself, you begin to walk further towards the lake, careful not to trip on any of the scattered rocks that surround you. By the time you made it down, you were surprised to see just how far you were from other families, most, if not all, of them being directly across the lake. Honestly you wouldn’t have preferred it any other way. 

You didn’t want to seem creepy, but the sight was somewhat comforting, the kids running around in their winter gear while their parents and friends all surrounded their bonfire, sticks and marshmallows in hand.

Not to mention that tonight was a full moon, the milky glow from the moonlight reflecting against the ripples of the lake, and the tiny stars which surrounded the magnet that was the moon only adding to the grand scenery in front of you. Usually you weren’t a sucker for these kinds of things, but wow did it look amazing. The person who’d really enjoy something like this was probably—

“Jungkook,” you breathe out, confused if you were seeing things because there he was, not too far from where you stood, sitting on a giant rock with his feet dangling, careful to not touch the freezing water. His right hand throwing the small pebbles that were near him to the lake. Not too hard, and not too soft. Clearly in his own world. 

A small smile graces your lips, as you watch him continue, the lake not being the only thing the moonlight was hitting. His glimmering doe shaped eyes focused on the view in front of him, and you could only wonder what had him in such deep thought, but instead not wanting to bother, you slowly began to walk back, careful to not to make any loud noises.

One Step. Two Steps. Three Steps. Crrreaaak.

Mentally, you groan at the sound of the branch breaking, hoping that it wasn’t loud enough for him to hear.

“Y/N?” he says unsurely, his attention snapping towards the sound, squinting while trying to make out your figure from afar. Your tensed shoulders drop in response. Deciding that there wasn’t much you could do, you turn around and walk towards him, feeling a little guilty that you’ve probably interrupted his time alone.

He watches as you make your way towards him, scooting to his left in order to make space for you because unbeknown to you, he was not at all bothered by your presence. In fact, he had just been thinking about you along with a question that had been looming over his head for quite some time. And the fact that you somehow managed to appear in this exact moment, almost as if it was fate, only left him in further awe.

“I thought you were asleep,” you chuckle, gently sitting down on the empty spot next to him, slowly rubbing your slightly cut hands together in an attempt to stay warm.

“I was going to sleep, but,” he pauses, “I just couldn’t,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, “and well why waste such a good view by being in bed, am I right?,” he laughs before quickly noticing the fresh scar on your hand, “What happened?” he asks, eyebrows furrowing in concern.

You shrug your shoulders in response, “I came to grab some more firewood from Hobi’s car and well long story short, I dropped them and well I got left with this,” you laugh, not taking your tiny injury too seriously.

Opening up your hand to further show him, he carefully examines the pinkish-red scar which was now slightly swollen, sighing in disappointment, “Mm you should’ve gone to go get it disinfected,” he mumbles, slightly shaking his head as he decides that he wasn’t going to lecture you any further, for in the past year he’s learned that even someone as sweet as you, has their own buttons capable of being pushed. 

Having pushed them many, many times before, tonight he just wanted you to feel relaxed and not have to worry about whether he’d say the wrong thing or not. Tonight… well tonight he just wanted for you to seek comfort in his presence, the same way he’d found comfort in yours along the way.

“It doesn’t hurt too much if I’m being honest,” you give him a small reassuring smile, if anything your hands felt more clammy than they did pain. The warm feeling in your chest only expanding to the point where you swore you could feel it at the bottom of your toes. 

Honestly, it was a feeling you found yourself all too familiar with these days, and though you knew what it was, you were also unsure on how to act on it, fearful of ruining the friendship with Jungkook that had gone through several ups and downs this year. And so for you the easiest thing to do was to just avoid thinking about it and avoid talking about it.

But there was no denying that the rush of emotions you’d feel whenever you managed to crack a laugh out of Jungkook to the point where his nose would scrunch so high up that you were sure that those happy days would last forever, or the ticklish butterflies you’d feel in your stomach on movie nights where he’d randomly begin to twirl your hair with his fingers, and the rapid heartbeat you’d feel hitting against your chest after an argument over something so trivial, until of course after several days of the silent treatment, one of you would get over themselves and stubbornly apologize whether it be through words or actions, were nothing but love.

Because even in the good and bad of your friendship, the arguments and the laughs, the tears and the smiles, somehow along the way you had found yourself falling in love with the boy who was nothing more than a stranger a year ago today.

“50 more minutes,” he says under his breath, bringing you back to reality.

Awkwardly you smile, “Yeah…” you breathe, the cold crisp weather causing vapor to come out of your mouth, a sign that you were freezing despite having such a thick sweater on. Jungkook is quick to take notice, offering his own puffy jacket for you to wear, to which you quickly refuse, “Take it, I have a sweater underneath anyway,” he pressures. You find it doubtful that his black cotton turtleneck was going to be sufficient enough for him in this weather. 

You giggle at his sweet gesture, finding it all too endearing, “I’m telling you I’m good,” you laugh, your shivering fingers telling a different story, “Until the clock strikes twelve at least,” you bargain, pushing the sweater in his hand away back towards him, “then I’ll go back to the warm cabin.” 

He looks at you as if unconvinced, but decides to drop it and take your word for it. And if you somehow managed to weasel into staying any longer past 12, then he’d just have to forcefully carry you back to the cabin.

Soon a comfortable silence fills the air, the two of you appreciating not only the view but each other’s presence. How fitting was it that the person you met on New Year’s day last year was going to be the person you ended it with, and begin a whole ‘nother year with.

“Can you believe it’s been one whole year since we’ve met,” he suddenly breaks the silence, almost as if reading your mind. To that you let out a small breathy chuckle, in disbelief yourself. Time had gone both so slow and fast this year, it was fascinating really, how you could be both so aware and unaware that someone’s very own existence was beginning to take such a special place in your heart.

“It feels like,” you pause momentarily, a small gentle smile appearing on your face as you remembered your first encounter with Jungkook, not knowing that it’d only be the beginning to the originally rocky relationship you had with him, “It feels like it was only yesterday.”

December 31, 2018.

New Years Eve.

11:00 PM.

“Only one hour left until the new year everybody!” the DJ shouts onto his mic and over the blasting music of the party you were currently at, “Make sure you grab that special somebody before the clock strikes 12!”

“You heard him y/n, go grab a special somebody,” Hobi teases, the two of you currently sitting at the bar acting as mere spectators to the group of partygoers that were currently having the time of their life on the dance floor.  

For both you and Hobi, this type of setting was a little… how could you describe it … out of place for the two of you, but after weeks of begging from both Jimin and Taehyung and a little added pressure from Namjoon and Yoongi, the two of you now found yourselves here drinking the final night of 2018 away.

“Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny,” you playfully roll your eyes, grabbing the shot glass full of tequila and downing the surprisingly smooth liquor. Hobi follows suit and chugs down his own. A squirmful look on his face following soon after. “Maybe if I drink enough, I’ll find myself dancing just like them,” you laugh, glancing at your group of friends who were currently acting as the life of the party, Jimin busting out what he calls his most “exclusive” moves.

Hobi, unlike him, remains silent which catches your attention. His attention was now on his phone, his face now appearing both red and stressed out. Nosily, you stretch your neck and attempt to peak at what could possibly have your roommate so worried, but Hobi’s quick to catch you. Immediately he pulls his phone towards his chest.

You gasp in dramatic fashion because one, your roommate wasn’t one to keep secrets from you, and two, well you were beginning to feel a little tipsy. “Now what could Jung Hoseok be hiding,” your words come out slightly slurred, a sign that the only thing you should be drinking from this point onward was some water.

“I’m not hiding anything,” he’s quick to respond, back on his phone but this time keeping it out of your reach, his fingers quickly tapping against the glass screen. You could only wonder who it was that had him typing as if his life depended on it.

“Come onnnnn,” you sing, playfully pushing his shoulder, “It can’t be that interesting, considering you don’t do much,” you pout. He looks up from his phone for a moment, but only to shoot you a glare, excusing your teasing with the fact that you were barely holding onto the state of being tipsy and on the brink of being considered drunk.

Hobi’s eyes quickly read the most recent text he’s received, rolling his eyes at whatever it was before sighing in distress, “You really wanna know?” eagerly you nod your head yes, “Well I was hoping he would be here so I could introduce you to him,” he gently shakes his head, clearly disappointed by tonight’s outcome.

“Ooooo who's the special person,” you quirk your brows up and down, but Hobi’s quick to shoot the idea down.

“Oh no, no, it’s not like that,” he laughs, “this person is a..” he pauses, trying to look for the best word to describe his relationship with said person, “Mm I guess we can call him a childhood friend,” he hums, “and well he’s been going through a bit of a tough time right now and well long before me and you ever met, he went out of his way to help me and well I think this time it’s only right that I’m there for him.” you tilt your head, slightly confused as to where this was going, “And sooo,” he sings, “I was hoping that by bringing you here and having you in a fun mood, that I could ask if he could stay at our place for a couple of months…”

You remain silent, Hobi’s words processing through your head one by one, an effect of the alcohol currently running through your system, “Only until he gets used to being in Seoul again, and finds some kind of solid ground here of course,” Hobi throws it in, worried that your silence meant rejection.

“Oh…” you mumble, thinking to yourself for a moment. Hobi’s friend huh? Well you and Hobi were like two peas in a pod, meaning whoever was a friend of his, was a friend of yours, point blank. You trusted that whoever this friend was, and whatever predicament they were in, chose to go to Hobi for the sole reason that Hobi was one of, if not the kindest person you’ve ever met, and was one of the very rare kind of people who made sure that whatever it was a person was going through, that they found a way to overcome it. And well you also assume that Hobi was going to take care of this person’s expenses … right?

You smile once you reach a decision, “Of course they can stay Hobi,” you laugh, a little offended that he thought you’d say no, but glad that he asked anyway.

Immediately Hobi breathes a sigh of relief, glad that he got that out of the way, “But he’s using your bathroom, make sure you tell him that!” you throw in, not wanting the order in which you had your things arranged to be touched with.

Hobi laughs in response, “I’ll make sure to tell Jungkook that,” so that was his name, Jungkook. Not too much of a common name in Korea, interesting, you think.

“So when do I get to meet our new temporary roommate?” you ask in eagerness, curiosity a driving force.

Hobi sighs recalling his text from not too long ago, “Well he was supposed to come here and celebrate tonight, giving you two a chance to meet beforehand, but,” he rereads the message on his phone, hoping the three bubbles would pop up at some point before scoffing and ultimately giving up, locking the screen, “I’m not entirely too sure if he’s going to make it.”

Shrugging your shoulders, you get up from the bar stool and stretch out your arms, yawning in turn, “Mm well I guess I’ll just meet him on move in day,” you joke around, glancing at the time on your phone, “but for now I need to go pee before the countdown, there’s only like 10 minutes left,” you exclaim, surprised by how fast the hour had gone by. Hobi nods in response, getting up himself and making his way to the dance floor, joining your group of friends.

And so you begin to walk towards the ladies’ room, humming yourself a tune over the EDM music that was currently close to rupturing your eardrum. How people liked this kind of music was something you’d never understand, but to each their own right? Luckily you weren’t as drunk as you thought you were, the effects of the tequila only acting as something quick and not long lasting. Now in more of a buzzed state than “drunk”.

“MmmMmmMmm,” you hum, pushing the door of the ladies room and making your way into one of the stalls. But what you saw once you opened the restroom stall was … um …. it was safe to say that you were shocked at the sight in front of you. Shocked to the point where you couldn’t even properly react, not even a shriek coming out of your mouth. 

Instead you just stood there, wide eyed, at the sight of a brown haired woman on her knees, with her hair in a messy ponytail giving um … oral … on what you could only describe as a very very handsome man.

Now if you were to ask if he was really all that into it? Well it seemed a bit unclear considering how the two of you were now having a complete stare down, a shocked expression on your face while he had a stoic one on his, until slowly a small smirk began to appear on his face.

He scoffs before saying, “Enjoying the view?” and with that you finally shriek and quickly close the stall dorm, practically running out the door because not only were you embarrassed by the situation that just happened but still in complete shock.

“Oh my God,” you breathe out, leaning your head against the wall in an attempt to process what just happened. And once you did, you facepalmed yourself in frustration, mad at the reaction you had because God was that embarrassing. 

You had acted as if you’d never seen, hell, as if you’d never done the dirty with someone, but for some reason walking in on someone receiving their um... pleasure… had you feeling like a kid who didn’t know about the birds and the bees. And his little comment only added salt to the wound, he probably thought you were enjoying the view with how long you had stayed there standing like an idiot!

“Start grabbing your partners everyone because the countdown is happening in exactly three minutes everybody! Three minutes till we enter 2019!” Three minutes?! You had to find your friends quick! Pushing off what happened to the back of your mind, you speed walk back to the main sector of the club, looking through the crowd of people in hopes of finding at least one of your friends.

“Where could he b—Ah!” you impulsively squeal once you spot Hobi along with the rest of your friends, quickly making your way towards them, Hobi spotting you as well.

“There you are! What took you so long?” Hobi asks, but just as you’re about to answer, a voice from behind interrupts.

“I caught traffic, and well parking was a bitch,” the voice, all too familiar, sends a feeling of panic through your body because turning to face the owner of said voice, was just as surprising as the scene you walked in on only moments ago.

“Y/N! This is Jungkook, Jungkook this is Y/N, my roommate I was telling you about,” Hobi shouts over the music, and all you can do is stare at the man in front of you wide eyed. Your mouth slightly agape in shock, while Jungkook on the other hand has a teasing grin on his face, as only the two of you knew what had transpired in the ladies’ restroom. He sticks his hand out for you to shake and you notice the small number of tattoos that cover his hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we got one minute on the clock! Start saying your goodbyes to 2018, and get ready to say hello to 2019!” The DJ shouts excitedly, lowering the music for the countdown that’s about to begin.

“Earth to Y/N?” Hobi says waving his hand in front of you, having left Jungkook with his hand open for quite some time now.

“Oh,” you say, bringing yourself back to reality and shaking his hand in return, but the moment you do he brings you in for a small friendly hug, “What a small world,” he whispers into your ear, winking at you as he pulls away.

Hobi, unaware of how you two originally met, rolls his eyes, “Hey, hey hey, she’s our roommate not some girl you can go messing around with,” Hobi says, “Now come on you two, there’s only 15 seconds left!” gently he shoves the two of you towards your groups of friends who were now wearing their New Year’s props which included giant sunglasses, feathered boa’s, and more.

“In 10, 9, 8 , 7, 6…” everyone begins to scream the numbers of the countdown, 2018 clearly leaving with a bang, “5,4,3!” you suddenly feel an arm wrap over your shoulder, and like in the movies a part of you expected it to be the man you just met, but thankfully enough it was Jimin who was clearly drunk, excited, and in clear need of catching his balance. But of course that didn’t mean someone didn’t have their eyes on you from afar…

“2, 1! Happy New Year!” The fog machine erupts and the strings of golden confetti begin to fall from the club’s ceiling. Cheers to the New Year.

Clutching your stomachs in laughter, the two of you poke fun at the recollection of that fatal first encounter, “I really walked in on you getting,” you heave in such a way that you’re incapable of completing the sentence, genuine laughter filling the air.

“Hey, you were the one who stood there like you’d never seen a—” playfully you push his shoulder before even he gets the chance to finish his own sentence.

“Like what you see?” you exaggeratingly mimic his voice from that night, lowering your voice by several octaves. He cries out in laughter, tears now forming in the corners of his eyes, feeling cringe at his choice of words from a year ago today. Who did he think he was? “The woman didn’t even bother to look up! Clearly you had her enamored in what she was doing!” you tease, and in response he wraps his arms around you in a playful manner, telling you that he didn’t want to hear any more.

“What even happened when I left?” you ask, curious to know the answer considering you only knew what you did afterwards.

“Well I overheard the DJ yell about the countdown so I had to cut it short, and well we exchanged numbers. I mean it wasn’t at all a drunk hookup or anything, I was sober, she was sober. I think I went out with her once afterward, but,” he shrugs his shoulders, “It was just meant to be a one time thing I guess,” he mumbles, shaking his head in slight shame and embarrassment. See a year ago, hookups like that were the norm for him, but a year ago he was also nothing like the person he was now. Was it for the better? He’d like to think so.

Shaking your head, you mumble, “To think our relationship would only get worse,” you stare at him accusingly, “no thanks to you!” He stays silent, not bothering to deny the accusation.

“Hey you didn’t make it any easier!” he huffs, “Do you need help with that? What’s that? I don’t think that should be placed there,” he mocks your questions from that day many months ago, move in day.  

“I was just trying to be nice! Make things less awkward, you know?” you feel your cheeks get red, now seeing how pushy you had probably been.

He scoffs, “No you just didn’t want your things invaded with mine,” it was now your turn to stay silent.

“Mm,” you hum.

January 2019.

“I don’t think that should go there,” you whisper to Hobi, watching Jungkook place more of his things around your apartment, secretly hoping it was the last batch. 

This had to at least be your 15th complaint today, but what bothered Jungkook more was that not only wouldn’t you tell it to his face, but they’d be said in such a superficial tone. He didn’t care if you were trying to be “nice”, it sounded fake and prissy and he’d prefer it if you could just shut up for one moment. People like you were just so… annoying, and to think he thought you were cute.

“Do you need help?” your voice interrupts his train of thought, your figure now looming over his shoulder, and attempting to look at the content of his cardboard boxes. Harshly, he closes the flaps, momentarily scowling at you before taking a deep breath and putting on his best face.

“No it’s fine, I’m almost done but thank you though,” he says, now his turn to be superficial.

“Oh well just let me know if you need anything,” you smile, as unbeknownst to Jungkook, you really were just this nice of a person. Yeah, things may still be a little awkward on your part because of what happened on New Years Eve, you of course having to pep talk yourself several times in the mirror this morning, but to you it was important you established some kind of friendship with your new roommate. Even if he wasn’t going to be here for long.

“I’m gonna go get us takeout,” Hobi announces, not only tired but hungry from having helped Jungkook carry his stuff upstairs to the apartment floor all day, because out of all days in the year, today the elevator just had to be out of service. “I’ll be back,” he says, grabbing his keys from the counter and making his way out. Leaving you and Jungkook to yourselves.

An awkward silence fills the living room air, Jungkook currently taking a small break on the long couch, while you sit on the short one, fidgeting with your fingers. Maybe you should make conversation? It wouldn’t hurt right?  

“So Jungkook,” you begin nervously, he looks up from his phone and places his attention on you, a stoic expression on his face, “um..”, you mentally scold yourself for not already having a question prepared before speaking, “where are you from?”

Furrowing his eyebrows, he scoffs, “Korea?” he says, as if stating the obvious.

Feeling flustered, you reiterate your question, “No I mean like where did you move from, you know…” your voice lowers at the end.

He sighs before responding, his attention now back on his phone, “I was in the states for a while, but I’m originally from Busan.”

Immediately you light up, seeing this as an opportunity to further the conversation, “Oh I have a friend from there, I don’t know if you met him on New Years, but his name is Jimin!” you excitedly ramble, “He was the one with the dirty blonde hair, black turtleneck, sparkly jac—”

“Yeah I know,” Jungkook rudely interrupts, now getting up from the couch and walking towards his new room, “Let me know when Hobi’s back, yeah? I’m freaking starving,” and with that he enters his room and shuts the door, leaving you slightly taken back.  

“Will do,” you quietly mumble to yourself, a little hurt to say the least by his cold action. Shrugging it off, you excuse it by assuming he was just grumpy. You were sure that he'd be more open to having conversation after settling his things in.

That night after cleaning a couple of your own things, and eating the food Hobi had brought, you remained in bed and on your laptop, Youtube surfing the rest of the night away. That was of course until you heard the sound of your restroom door opening and closing. Right away you get up, already knowing what transpired, but wanting to see the mess that was most likely made with your own two eyes.

Walking into your restroom, you’re immediately hit with the scent of your strawberry shampoo and lavender body wash mixed in with the foggy steam that was created, a result of an extremely hot shower. The sink, a travesty to look at, was spilled with water all over and you did not even want to get started on the “manly” products that were now side to side with yours behind the mirror’s cabinet. Meanwhile, your hair brush was covered in strands of dark brown hair that clearly weren’t yours. But the final straw? Finding the cap of your $100 dollar serum halfly screwed closed with remnants dripping down the bottle.

Shutting the cabinet, you practically stomp out of your restroom and immediately towards Jungkook’s door. Raising your hand to knock, you take in a deep breath, reminding yourself to be calm. Maybe Hobi didn’t tell him anything about using your restroom. This was only going to be a one time thing until you cleared it out with him.

Gently, you knock on his door, patiently awaiting his response. You could hear the sound of muffled music playing in the background, meaning it was probably much louder inside the room than out. Raising your hand to knock again, the door swings open just as you’re about to tap against the black wooden door. A shirtless Jungkook with your baby blue towel wrapped around his waist.

“Yes?” he smugly says, your cheeks almost an embarrassing shade of crimson. It’s hard to not look at what’s in front of you, but you manage.

“Oh um—” you fluster your words, “um —” you gulp before finding your words again, “I was hoping Hobi had told you about the bathroom situation…but um..I guess he didn’t so um yeah, my bathroom is only for me to us—”

“He did,” he cuts you off,  huffing a small laugh.

“He what?” you asked, unsure of what he was referring to, or at least acting dense about it because you did not want to believe that the shirtless boy in front of you completely disregarded the simple rule he was supposed to follow.

“He told me about the whole bathroom rearrangement, buuuuttt,” he teases, “your restroom has the bigger shower and well add strawberry scented shampoo and lavender body wash into the mix and honestly it was a done deal for me,” he stretches his arms above himself, dramatically yawning, his abdomen stretching out in such a way that the towel on his waist was barely clinging onto its dear life.

“But—But—”

“But what?” he cocks his head to the side, amused by your panicked behavior, “It’s also the closest one to me so,” he shrugs his shoulders, “Well if that’s all you came here for then, goodnight,” he winks at you before turning around and slamming the door once again.

You stand there bewildered by what just happened, your mouth agape in shock. Did that really just happen or? Because if it did then he practically just told you that he didn’t give one single fuck.

Making your way back to your room, you’re unsure on how to feel about everything that just happened because sure you’ve encountered your fair share of rude people before but to live with one was a completely different story. And Jungkook wasn’t only rude, he was the smug kind, the “I know I’m good looking, so I can treat anyone the way I want to because my good looks will let me get away with it,” type of rude. Was it a little specific? Yes. But it’s true. Honestly, it was the type of person you thought only existed in rom-coms but clearly they exist in real life. Jungkook being a prime example of such an attitude.

“Just a couple of months,” you breathe out, throwing yourself onto your bed in exasperation, “until he gets settled down in Seoul,” you repeat Hobi’s words from New Years Eve to yourself, sighing before allowing slumber to sweep over you.  

“So much for a couple of months,” you tease Jungkook, nudging his shoulder a little bit because a year later and he was still your roommate, and ironically it was you and Hobi who practically begged him to stay.

He scrunches his nose, “ I don’t see you complaining.”

You raise your hands in defense, “I’m just kiddinnn,” you sing, “What would I do without your buttermilk pancakes huh?” you grin at him, his eyes rolling playfully in return.

“Is that all you want from me? Pancakes!” he chuckles, “Ah I should’ve known,” he shakes his head. The two of you giggle at each other’s banter, his high pitched laugh truly infectious.

“What do you think y/n and Jungkook from the beginning of 2019 would think of this scene right now?” you ask, knowing the answer.

Jungkook ponders at the question for a moment before letting out a deep breath and answering, “Mm I think they’d have a hard time believing what’s in front of them, at least I would. I think you would be happy to see that your goal in becoming friends with your new roommate worked out just fine. It just took a bit of time was all…”

February 2019.

To say that you were struggling to live with Jungkook would probably be the biggest understatement of the year. From the constant use of your things without permission, to the blatant rude remarks he’d constantly throw at you, to the days where he’d be completely cold to you and the rest of the world, and don’t even let you get started on the constant women he’d bring over. You’d have to invest in some ear plugs soon if it kept going at the rate it was because at this point you knew Jungkook liked it um … rough … so to speak.  

You found yourself asking Hobi, “Has he settled down yet?” wayyyy too often. Sometimes it felt like Jungkook was purposely baiting you to stoop to his level, like as if he was itching to play a game of cat and mouse. And so for you to continuously suck it up and put on a fake smile for him, only made him do more things to bother you. 

He was like a mosquito pestering you at the back of your neck. He wouldn’t stop until he got his fangs, or whatever it was that mosquitos used to bite, into you. For what reason? You truly did not know, for you have been nothing but nice to him since the day he moved in.

You often wondered how Hobi could put up with it, you mean Jungkook wasn’t exactly mean to Hobi, but he did throw remarks and eye rolls here and there. The best way to describe it was that Jungkook was treating you two like punching bags, and a part of you wanted to know why? Not only why, but where? Where is Jungkook from? Why was he in the states? What made him come back? Why can’t he go back to Busan? Does he have family? How does Hobi even know the dude? Why does Jungkook wake up with a stick up his ass every morning? Why was Jungkook angry at the world and when did he decide that he was going to take it out on you two, especially you. Honestly you were unsure if you’d ever get answers to your questions, but it wouldn’t matter in a couple of weeks when he was gone, right?

Luckily though the only times you really did see Jungkook was on weekends, and even then if you weren’t out doing some nightly festivities then he was. Or while you went grocery shopping he was working out or something, Not to mention that weekdays you worked AM shifts at your job while Jungkook, who had been hooked up with a job at one of the coffee shop’s Hobi managed, worked afternoon to night shifts. 

This meant that whenever you were going to work, Jungkook was catching up on his sleep and vice versa. But occasionally when you two did bump paths, let’s say going to your restroom, he definitely used those opportunities to try and get under your skin. Each and every time, failing to do so.

But today something was different. You weren’t sure if it was because as you were driving to work, coffee spilled onto your shirt at a speed bump because someone stole your favorite coffee thermo which had a securable lid. This then caused you to be 30 minutes late which then resulted in you receiving your first ever official warning. Or maybe it was because you had to not only stay an extra 30 minutes, but an extra hour because someone’s late night hook up the night prior kept you up and completely unfocused. You personally had chosen to go to sleep than stay up and listen to some girl screaming about how much deeper she wanted it while trying to type up your monthly report. And then of course who could forget the cherry on top? Coming back home to that same certain someone, and having to deal with the accusations that you stole his banana milk.

“I didn’t steal anything,” you mumble, warming up the japchae Hobi had left for you on the stove. Jungkook gets up and opens the fridge door, dramatically showing you the empty spot where his banana milk was usually at.

“Well someone did, and Hobi says it wasn’t him and well I trust Hobi so,” Jungkook shrugs, looking at you with a deadpan look on his face. Sadly, Hobi probably asleep already, tired from what you assumed was a long day of work and the thing about Hobi was once he went to sleep there was no waking him up. That boy could sleep through the world ending, “I don’t exactly think it’s beneath you to steal my things…” he says, each one of his words dripping with venom.

You?! Stealing his things?! When he’s the one who's been taking your things left and right?? If he had caught you on any other day, you probably would’ve shrugged his accusations off, hell you might’ve even taken the blame and offer to buy him a new pack. But right now, you could feel your blood almost boiling. How dare he!

“I,” your voice rises, completely ready to go off on the boy, until you hear a door slam, Hobi coming out completely groggy and clearly annoyed.

“Will you two just,” his voice is heavy, sighing in frustration, “Y/N just go and eat in your room,” he says, feeling like a parent to two fighting siblings.

“But—” you’re about to fight your case, until Hobi interrupts.

“Y/N…” he looks at you in despair, his tone a clear indicator that he wasn’t mad, he wasn’t annoyed, he was just tired. You grab your food from the stove, having to pass by Jungkook as you leave the kitchen.

“Was little miss saccharine finally going to pop?” he scoffs, the two of you momentarily having a stare down, until quickly you compose yourself, the fake smile he knew all too well back on your face.

“Goodnight Jungkook,” you say, before making your way back into your room, peeved that Hobi scolded you and not Jungkook, that was until you heard the sound of muffled voices through your closed door. 

If you wanted to get a better listen you were going to have to crack open the door without making a single sound, something that would be embarrassing if you managed to fail. Deciding that you were too nosy for your own good, you thankfully succeed in doing so, their voices sounding much clearer to your ears.    

“You know she’s having a bad day, and yet—” you hear the sound of Hobi flapping his arms in despair, “and yet you still make her your target of the day,” he says.

“What are you talking about?” Jungkook asks, his voice telling you that he was ready to go on the defense.

“Jungkook let’s not act dense,” Hobi says, “What are we in preschool? You have some crush, and think being mean will get you your way with her?” Hobi accuses, which Jungkook immediately denies.

“She wishes,” he mumbles in return, “I treat her like I treat everyone,” he clarifies, almost sounding proud.

“No you treat her worse,” Hobi adds, “if you’re not giving her some backhanded compliment then you’re completely giving her the cold shoulder. I probably only get half of what she does, and even I’m getting fed up with it, so I could only imagine how she feels,” he sighs, “but Y/N is a very very nice person, and since that first day I met her in till even today, I have never seen her get mad at anyone, but you my friend are,” he pauses, trying to think of the best way to describe it, “well you’re pushing buttons that I’ve never seen pushed.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, “Yeah because her whole act of “I’m miss goody two shoes and can never even hurt a fly” act is such bullshit,” he drops his air quotes, “a grown ass woman acting like telling someone off will add some kind of dent to the image I’m sure has taken her a very long time to build.”

With every word he says, you could feel your stomach drop further and further down. The lump in your throat desperate to be let out. “She probably has you and the rest of the world fooled, but I can see right through it. It’s people like her who will lie to your face, and tell you everything you want to hear because they don’t want to be painted out as some bad guy. And let me tell you people like that are much worse than me because at least I have the balls to tell it like it is to someone’s face rather than protect my own ego, ” he finishes his rant, the veins on his neck faintly popping.

Hobi remains silent for a moment, taking in everything Jungkook said, then pushing his hair back with his hand, an indicator that he was stressed, “Look man, I’m letting you stay here so you can get back on your feet, and because you didn’t want go back to Busan,” he sighs, knowing he’s stepping on broken glass, “I don’t know what happened over there in the states, and I’m not gonna ask about it because I’m sure you’ll talk about it the day you’re ready to,” he pauses, “But what I do know is that you’re right, Y/N does fake her persona from time to time…” you feel your heart drop, while Jungkook’s face goes smug. That is until Hobi continued with what he was saying, “But the same way I’m not gonna ask you about why you came back to Korea a completely cold person, I’m not gonna question why she acts the way it does, especially because it's not hurting anyone.”

“Of course you wo—”

Hobi cuts him off before he can continue, “Let me finish,” he sternly says, his brows knitted, “But as long she keeps letting her feelings build up the way I’m assuming they are, and you keep acting the way you are now then—” he sighs, “There’s going to be a day where the water in the pot is going to boil over and well I don’t wanna be here when it happens,” his presses his lips together, shaking his head at the mere idea, “All I ask for Jungkook is that you try to be a little nicer to her, just for once. I think the two of you would actually be pleasantly surprised at how much in common you have,” Jungkook tries his best to bite his tongue, seeing just how tired his friend looked, “Maybe not even nice to her, just decent. Can you do me that favor?”

Jungkooks lets out a huff of air before silently nodding his head yes, Hobi giving him a small smile in return, “Thanks Jungkook, now I can actually go to sleep instead of hearing you two bicker,” he says before tapping on his shoulder and going back into his room. You, on the other hand, quickly wipe any droplets that fall from your eyes, closing the door before Hobi could notice the crack that was there.

Jungkook sits in the kitchen chair for a while, reflecting on the lecture Hobi just gave him. Hating that the feeling of guilt was beginning to seep in because unlike Hobi, before his little lecture, Jungkook knew that there had been a pair of ears listening in and he knew you could hear every word that came out of his mouth as your little attempt to crack open the door wasn’t as slick as you thought it was ….he just hadn’t cared.

“Just be decent,” Jungkook whispers to himself before turning off the kitchen lights and heading to bed. The two of you lying in your own beds at night, a lot on each other's mind.

“And to think Hobi ended up predicting everything that was going to happen,” Jungkook shakes his head, remembering his friend’s warning to him.

“That’s our Hobi,” you laugh, “always one step ahead, well when he wants to be of course,” you add, a small chuckle coming out of Jungkook’s mouth in response.

“You think he knew what he was doing the whole time?” Jungkook asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Like in terms of allowing everything to play out, you know? Because if he wanted to he could’ve kicked me out from the beginning…” you ponder on his question for a bit, thinking back to Hobi’s role in this whole tale.

“Mm I think he knew but was probably unsure the whole time, you know? Unsure if things would work out the way he set em up to be, I don’t know if he’ll ever tell us but…” you pause, “I think he knew what he was doing from the moment he told you that you could live with us, and I definitely think it was bullshit on his part when he said that he didn’t know what happened to you in the states,” you laugh because you could picture Hobi doing his own research on Google late at night, “So I guess he just knew that there were two people in his life in desperate need of a…” you look for the right word to describe it.

“Reality check?” Jungkook fills in for you, but you shake your head no.

“Mm,” you hum, “No, I dont think thats the way to put it, hmm, how about this…” you pause one last time before continuing, wanting to make sure you said everything correctly, “Hobi had two pieces to a puzzle that needed to connect together in order to complete said puzzle, but after lots of tosses and turns in their box well the two pieces just didn’t fit together anymore. In fact they refused to even try and fit with another, deciding that they were going to live with their new flaps and dents, and ignoring the fact that in order to complete the puzzle they needed to come together,” you let out a small laugh, “and so Hobi took a gamble, and decided to leave the pieces alone for the time being, in hopes that maybe, just maybe with a little bit more tosses and turns they’d realize that by coming together they’d be left with nothing but a beautiful image to show,” a warm smile appears on your face, “Yeah I think I like how that sounds, what do you think?” you turn to face Jungkook who was staring at you with his doe-eyed expression, completely speechless.

“Or was I too wordy?” you laugh, “I reached didn’t I?” you begin to ramble, “Ah I really need to—” suddenly you feel a cold finger pressed against your lips, Jungkook sounding a tiny “shh” soon after.

“I think it was perfect,” Jungkook softly whispers, what could only be described as a loving smile on his face. He tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, feeling your cold face get warmed up due to the heat that was rising from your cheeks. Reminding you of a memory from only months ago…

March 2019.

“Remind me why I’m going again?” you walk out of the hallway and into the living room, heels clicking against the wooden floor.

“Because you are tonight’s designated driver,” Hobi reminds you, “and well we all don’t fit in Seokjin’s mini cooper so there’s that,” he laughs. You sigh in return, looking at your reflection for the 100th time tonight. “Jungkook, you almost ready?” Hobi shouts from the living room, not keen on his friend’s habit of always getting ready at the last minute.

Tonight was one of, if not the only, rare occasions that both you and Jungkook would be at an outing together, and even then Hobi was always with you two, acting as the facilitator. Jungkook and you usually parted your separate ways the moment you’d arrive somewhere, especially at parties. And so today you didn’t really expect anything different. 

It had been about a month since Hobi’s little lecture to Jungkook, and in a way it did have some kind of positive effect on Jungkook. These days he was now much more quiet and reserved, and honestly you preferred the cold shoulder over the constant attitude so you were definitely not complaining.

You were even surprised this morning when you found your bathroom products to be completely replaced by new bottles, including your serum! Of course they had been slightly used, meaning Jungkook wasn’t going to let go of his grip on them just yet, but at least it meant that he had the decency to realize that if he was going to be using them all the time, then it was only right that he occasionally paid for them. 

Even last week when you heard him mumble a small, “that was good, thank you,” after making gyeran-mari’s for breakfast, you had to look at Hobi for confirmation that it really happened. Hell, he had even stopped constantly bringing women over, instead beginning to work out more often as you would now hear his grunts come from doing sit ups than from doing um… yeah. It looked like he even had a knack for boxing because you soon noticed how he’d come back home with hands wrapped in bandages or his gloves stringing along his duffel bag. Honestly, it was a little hot, but you’d rather die before admitting that to anyone.

“Ah I’m done, I’m done,” a voice comes out the hallway, Jungkook balancing on his right foot in a rush to put on his left shoe. Tonight he was dressed a little differently than his usual self, replacing his usual black attire and black combat boots for a more club friendly look of ripped blue jeans, black ankle boots, and a black fitted t-shirt. Of course not straying too far from his personal style. The new tattoo he had gotten recently was also in clear view tonight, his sleeve coming along quite nice in your opinion. He had recently even gotten his hair permed, allowing it to grow out longer than what you were used to seeing. It was crazy what a difference hair could make because it definitely made him look … better, in your eyes at least. 

All this change on his part, honestly made you feel a little dull, but that’d be something to dwell on for another day. For now, you just wanted to get tonight over with. The faster you got there, the quicker you could leave, and the earlier you could be in bed.  

“You took a whole ass hour for this?” Hobi eyes Jungkook up and down. Jungkook is quick to shoot him an offended look, while you on the other hand are struggling to suppress a laugh, “I’m not saying you look bad, in fact you look amazing, but this should not take you an hour!” Jungkook rolls his eyes, combing a hand through his hair.

“Are we going to get going or what?” he says, his cheeks tinged pink in embarrassment.

Once you all arrived, you were quick to meet up with the rest of your friends, everyone having pitched in for bottle service. Jungkook, who had become pretty cool with the rest of everyone, sat between Yoongi and Namjoon, all three of them laughing at God knows what. The bottle they had bought almost halfway done. 

You on the other hand, were just watching everyone, the only person besides yourself who wasn’t drunk was Seokjin, and even then he was too busy with his new girlfriend to pay you any attention. Not that you really minded considering she really was a kind person and well who could blame Seokjin for being head over heels. They even shared the same humor, something that was quite rare to find.

You weren’t sure if it was because tonight the club seemed extra packed, or maybe the dress you were wearing was feeling a little too tight or maybe it was the stench of all alcohol getting to you but something definitely fell off. And you did not like it one bit.

“Hey I’m gonna go out back and get some fresh air outside,” you tell Hobi over the music, giving you a small nod in acknowledgement, the boy was clearly very drunk. The moment you stepped out, you definitely did feel better, the crispy fresh air outside almost making you feel as if you were breathing for the first time. That was until you heard the sound of someone arguing.

“I saw you dancing with her! Stop trying to gaslight me into thinking you weren’t!” a woman screams, very much in distress by who you assumed was her boyfriend, “God, I knew I should’ve listened to my mom, you are a pig! And I deserve a man who's going to—

“What did you just say?” he grabs her by the arm, his atrocious grip surely going to cause her a bruise later on.

“Let go of me!” she cries, as he then grabs her by the hair, ready to toss her to the floor and do whatever else he wanted to do with her. You feel your breathing become heavier, watching the scene unfold in front of you, unsure of what to do. You were scared and you didn’t know how to defend yourself, let alone someone else. But you also knew that God forbid you were ever in that situation, you wouldn't want someone turning a blind eye on you, so you did what was only right.

“Hey!” you scream while walking towards the couple, catching the man’s attention, “Let go of her before I—”

“Before you what?” he lets go of her hair, now walking towards you as well. The woman watches you with shaky eyes, having never guessed that her savior would be a woman in black string heels and a face that for the most part was not at all intimidating.

You reach into your purse, hoping to get a feel for either your taser or pocket knife, but of course, of fucking course, on all days of the year it was no where to be found. Nonetheless, you muster up your courage and respond, “Before I call security,” you say, trying your best to sound confident.

He laughs, dramatically looking around to show you that no one around was here to help, “Anyone ever teach you to mind your fucking business, like how a woman should,” you gulp, almost losing balance while taking a step back as he only gets closer, “Huh?! Anyone every fucking teach you that?” he closes in on you, your back soon hitting the wall that was behind you.

“Just leave her alone!” the woman screams in hysteria.

“You stay the fuck out of it! You’re the whole reason she’s in this mess,” he mutters, his words completely slurred and his breath reeking like alcohol. You almost feel like vomiting at the accidental whiff you take because wow was this man just disgusting.

“See maybe if you would’ve just gone about your day, you wouldn’t be here right now,” he makes a ticking sound with his mouth, mocking you, “but” he sighs, “I guess whores just have to stick with each other, huh?” he grabs you by the scalp of your hair, this time not hesitating to throw you to the ground.

“Oh my—” the woman screams, panic flowing through her veins.

“Go!” you yell at her, giving her the chance to escape even if it meant sacrificing your own wellbeing. She hesitates for a moment before running, the sound of her heels tapping against the pavement was one of the last things you could hear before the ringing in your ears became all too much. 

You look at your hands for a moment, the stinging feeling almost unbearable as they had taken most of the impact of the fall, along with your knees. A part of you hoped he had left, that he had somehow magically disappeared or that you’d wake up to find that this was nothing more than a nightmare. But it wasn’t until you felt the grip of his hand on your hair again, that you’d come to realize the reality of your situation and that there was absolutely no one to help you.

The man lifts up his free hand, building power for the punch he was preparing to throw, as you could only throw your arms in front yourself in an attempt to minimize the impact of the punch. By now tears were falling from freely your eyes, small whimpers and sniffles coming out of fear. The final words you hear being spat from his mouth were, “you stupid bitch,” and in your head you count to three, waiting for the feeling of his fist against your face. But it never came.

Instead you feel the release of his hand on your scalp, and when you open your eyes you find him on the ground, not completely knocked out but he might as well be with just how out of it he looked. And though you weren’t drunk, you almost felt as if you were because absolutely everything around you was overlapping, hardly able to see anything in clear focus. But what you could make out was that there was a figure, and by the build you assume was a man, now sitting over the drunkard, throwing several punches at him. His goal was either to knock the man out or make sure he suffered every way possible before knocking him out.  

You stand there for a moment in shock as you hear the person’s voice, a voice that was all too familiar, “I dare you to fucking lay a hand on her again, I fucking dare you!” Jungkook yells, throwing another punch at the man, “Who the fuck do you think you are?” slowly your vision becomes clearer as you wipe away the tears that had been blocking your vision, and soon you realize if Jungkook kept going at the rate he was, the man was going to be killed.

Quickly you run towards Jungkook, attempting to grab his right arm before he swings again, “Jungkook stop!” you yell, but instead he pushes your arm away, too caught up in his rage to think straight. The drunk man looked as if he was barely holding on, blood now all over his face. “I said stop!” you yell at the top of your lungs, the veins on your neck popping. Jungkook, panting, looks up at you, momentarily stopping. “Just stop,” you cry, wanting this nightmare to be over.

Jungkook looks at the barely conscious man one more time, pulling him by the collar of his shirt so that he’d get a good look of him, “If I ever see you again, I won’t hesitate to—”

“Jungkook,” you stop him from finishing his sentence.

He sighs, “Just be glad she’s here because scum like you deserve to fucking rot,” he says, letting go of the man’s collar and allowing his head to hit the pavement. He gets up from his position and begins to pat his black shirt of any dirt, catching his breath along the way. “You okay?” he asks, intensely staring at you.

But before you could respond, a voice screams, “Hey!” the two of you look up at said voice, only to find a security guard with a flashlight in his hand and his walky talky on the other.

Jungkook quickly grabs you by the hand, causing you to wince at the sudden touch, “Come on,”  he says, pulling you to follow him.

He leads you back to the parking lot, confusion evidently on your face. It wasn’t until you turned back to find several security guards following after you that everything began to click together, panic now flowing through your veins. Hurriedly, you grab Hobi’s keys from your purse and unlock the door, your heart beating out of your chest.

Jungkook quickly hops in the passenger seat, his head throbbing from the amount of drinks he’s had, watching as you struggle to put the key in the ignition, clearly in a state of anxiousness. He yanks the keys from your hands and places them in himself, “Now drive!” he shouts, causing you to step ferociously on the gas pedal. Burning tire as you race off the parking lot.  

“God my head is fucking killing me,” Jungkook complains, his blood stained hands resting on his temple. By now the two of you were heading back home, Jungkook having texted Hobi through your phone that he was going to have to get a ride from Seokjin. For the situation you two were just in had required an immediate escape.

You on the other hand were driving in complete silence, still in a state of shock of what just happened. Jungkook having to constantly remind you that you were driving, several instances of you zoning out at a stop light happening way too often for his liking.

“I am way too drunk for this shit,” he mutters under his breath, the reality of what just happened beginning to kick in. The queasy feeling in his stomach became more and more unbearable with every turn you took. And don’t even get him started on his throat, which was currently as dry as the Sahara Desert. “Is there some kind of water in this car?” he asks, beginning to look through the car console and glove compartment.

“I don’t,” you pause and sigh, “I don’t know.”

“Then pull over here,” he deadpans.

You furrow your brows in confusion, “What?”

“Pull over,” he repeats, his patience running out.

Not questioning him a second time, you do exactly that, pulling over at the side of some park near your apartment. Jungkook takes in a deep breath before opening the door and sticking his head out, seconds later the sound of him vomiting making you feel as queasy as he did.

“Oh God,” you mumble to yourself, just wanting to be in bed already. But of course that wasn’t going to happen because soon enough Jungkook was getting out of the car and going to God knows where. “Where are you going?” you shout, as he walks towards the park.

“I need water,” he says, “You coming or what?” you contemplate on whether to follow him or not, before ultimately exiting the car and locking it. With the way he was stumbling his footsteps, it was better safe than sorry to follow him.

“BogoShipda!” Jungkook sings loudly to the trees in the park, all of the alcohol he drank at the club still running through his system. You stare at him in surprise, having never seen him act like this before, as he continues to sing.

“Now where’s a water fountain when you need one,” he mumbles, the darkness of the night sky making it hard for him to scan his surrounding area. You found yourself feeling a little scared in fact. The silhouette of the trees and the sound of the wind softly pushing against the branches only making the atmosphere more scary.

“Ah there it is!” Jungkook slurs his words, sounding like a kid at a carnival. Once he’s in front of the fountain, he pushes against the button, the water sprouting out of the fountainhead. You stare at him in silence as he hadn’t crouched down to drink yet, thus confusing you.

It wasn’t until you felt a tug at your hand and the sting of the water hitting against your scrapes that you felt like punching him. “What are you doing?” you ask, trying your best not to sound too peeved.

He looks at you before rolling his eyes, “What do you think I’m doing? I’m cleaning your hands,” he signals for you to give him your other hand, and without thinking you comply.

“I could’ve done this at home,” you say.

“I know, but the longer we wait the higher chance it'll end up getting infected by dirt so,” he looks at you with a know it all expression, and you mumble a small “I guess,” under your breath, the stinging sensation soon enough replaced by a cool one, your hands no longer feeling as rusty.

It isn’t until he’s finished that he takes a sip of water, exhaling a small “ahh” sound after downing several gulps. “Come on,” he grabs your hand again, leading you to a park bench with a small lamppost right next to it, providing a smooth yellow dim light.

“Why are we—”

“I just want to sit for a moment without the movement of a car, just for a bit,” he exhales a heavy breath, manspreading on the bench and throwing his head back, “just for a bit,” he repeats, his voice soft.

The two of you sit there in silence, “Why are you staring at me?” he asks with his eyes closed, feeling your intense stare.  

“I’m not—I’m not staring,” you stutter, he hums in response. Silence fills the air again, until Jungkook mumbles something that at first is inaudible.

“What?” you ask.

“I said I’m ˢᵒʳʳʸ,” you look at him confused, were you hearing him correctly?

“Wait what?” you ask again, it wasn’t your intention to come off as pushy nor pretentious but you were just seriously surprised as to what you were hearing.

He grumbles before repeating himself, “I said,” he drops his shoulders, “I said I’m sorry.” He opens his eyes to look at you, his usual smug behavior nowhere to be found on his face, he was being completely serious.

“Oh…” you pause for a moment before continuing, “Can I ask for what? I’m not trying to be mean or anything or act dense. I seriously just don’t know why,” you make sure you add those claims at the end, feeling as if you were walking on eggshells.

He looks at you momentarily before placing his view on the trees in front of you, “For not getting there earlier,” he mutters, as if disappointed with himself, “I went out because Hobi had told me to go check up on you, but,” he stays silent for a moment before continuing, clenching his jaw, “at first I sorta shrugged him off when he asked me, it wasn’t until he asked me second time that I actually went outside,” his voice shakes a bit and you notice that his eyes become slightly glossy, “and then a woman came running up to me rambling about someone about to get beaten up, but the last person I thought she was talking about was you,” he exhales loudly before continuing, trying his best to maintain his composure, “but either way I ran towards wherever she was pointing at, and that’s when I saw you on the floor,” his voice cracks, “and I just keep replaying everything in my head, and I just—” he closes his eyes and shakes his head, “I’m just sorry and I felt like you deserved to know that,” he concludes, a tear falling from his face.

And maybe it was because he was drunk, or maybe he just really did feel bad, but to see Jungkook this vulnerable was different to say the least. It was almost humanizing in some aspects.

Jungkook expected you to scream at him, to tell him that it was his fault you were put in that situation. That he could’ve prevented it from happening, that because of him you almost got beat to a bloody pulp.

No, in fact he doesn't expect you to, he wants you to. It’s what he deserves to hear from you. Had it not been for him and his ego, he would’ve gone out there the moment Hobi had asked him to, and you would’ve never had to deal with that drunk excuse of a human being to begin with. Or was the alcohol in his system just seriously getting to him because God did he feel sick.

“Jungkook it’s not your fault,” you begin, but Jungkook who's still looking at the trees, refuses to make eye contact. “Hey look at me,” you demand, tugging his hand in an effort to get him to look at you. When he does so, you continue, “That man was going to attack me whether you came or not because a weak man like that will attack the easiest target,” you state, a small chuckle escaping your lips, “It was no one’s fault but his, you hear me?” you squeeze his hand, “Not yours, not mine, not Hobi’s, not the lady, no one. Absolutely no one.”

More tears begin to fall from his bloodshot eyes, “You don’t get it y/n,” he shakes his head, “You don’t what that man could’ve done to you in that time I wasn’t there, you could’ve been killed for God’s sake,” he attempts to say it firmly, but his voice betrays him by whimpering in the end.

“But he didn’t!” you say, and without thinking you place his hand on your cheek, “I’m right here look! All because of you! Yeah you didn’t get there as early as you wished you could’ve, but you got there nonetheless! And if you hadn’t I probably would be sporting a big old black eye on my face and have one cheek bigger than the other right now. I’d look like one of those chipmunks from Alvin and the Chipmunks!” you laugh at your own joke, and for the first time ever, Jungkook laughs with you. His last first starting off as a small chuckle but the harder you laughed, the harder he did. The beginning to what would be you always hearing his high pitched laugh around the apartment, but let’s not get too far ahead right now.

They say when a human is drunk, they muster up the courage to do something they’d never do sober, but have always thought of doing in the back of their mind. It was often why people would blame a bold text to an ex on being “drunk” despite not taking one sip of their tequila shot, or why some people would excuse cheating on being “drunk” despite knowing it was something they wanted to do for a very long time. They were looking for an excuse to finally do it. And so now sitting here, with his hand caressed across your face, goofy grins plastered on your faces, he felt tempted to just kiss you.

It was weird really, yeah he thought you were cute, in fact there were days he’d found you hot, but anything past physical attraction had never really crossed his mind. To him, you’d always been and currently were his roommate who he found both superficial and performative. 

The one who once attempted to hide her strawberry scented shampoo in her room during work, in hopes that he wouldn’t go out of his way to find it. The one who liked her jjolmyeon more on the sour side than the sweet. The one who occasionally made him coffee and breakfast in the mornings, despite him being asleep after a long night of work of barristering. The one who for some odd reason almost never watched Netflix on the TV, but instead would watch it on her laptop on the couch, thus rendering the TV completely useless.

And so to be here, finally appreciating the person that you were after what could’ve been a near-death experience was a bit of a wake up call. And yeah like you said, maybe he didn’t get here as early as he should’ve been, but he got here nonetheless. He smiles to himself, your words having a double meaning behind them.

But for now he wanted to preserve this feeling, because he knew he was drunk. He was so drunk that the tree behind you was beginning to look like it was moving towards him. And so rather than kiss you, he instead decides to simply tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, deciding that if he felt like this tomorrow morning when he was sober then it’d be something worth looking into.

“I’m telling you, if I ever see that man again—”

“It was like,” you count on your fingers, “9 months ago Jungkook, I doubt you even remember his face,” you cut off, patting his shoulder.

“Mm,” he hums, “you’d be surprised how good I am at remembering faces, so when I tell you I’m still waiting for the day I come across him again, I mean it!” you roll your eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” you sing,  “Hey at least something good came out of it,” you smile.

Jungkook looks at you with uncertainty, “Which is?”

Your small smile then becomes a toothy grin, “We became friends!” you exclaim excitedly, “temporarily at least,” you laugh.

April 2019.

It had been about two weeks since the incident at the club. Jungkook having completely avoided you since, and no you weren’t paranoid because originally you thought you were. It first started off with you not seeing him at all around the apartment, which you excused with you two having different work schedules like always. But then you’d notice he wouldn’t even drink the coffee you would make for him in the morning, it being left there on the counter for the entire day. 

And in the very rare moments you did manage to get a glimpse of him in the hallway either entering or exiting his room, the boy would completely avoid eye contact with you! But the final confirmation that told you he was avoiding you? He had bought his own shampoo and body wash for himself! Not just any kind, he bought an extra lather version of your own with exfoliating properties. And you didn’t if you could use it or not because, well because he was avoiding you! 

It wasn’t like you two kissed or anything! The most that happened was that you two shared a laugh! So then why was he avoiding you like the freaking plague? After a week of thinking about every possible reason he could be, you had given up. You’d accepted that you were back at square one with him, but it wasn’t like you were ever at square two to begin with. And so that’s why yesterday when Hobi told you he’d be going on a morning/afternoon hike trip on Saturday with Namjoon, you were skeptical on how Jungkook would manage to avoid you.

It was also why this morning in bed, when you heard what sounded like furniture being moved at 7 in the freaking morning, you were unsure about getting up and saying something or remaining in bed. Luckily you didn’t have to think about it for too long because you soon heard the sound footsteps coming closer to your bedroom door. As a result, you quickly threw yourself under the covers and pretended to be asleep.

It definitely had to be Jungkook who had just entered your room, the heavy footsteps acting as a signal to you that it was. Your eyes widen when you hear the sound of your drawer being pulled open, “What the hell did he think he was doing? Should you turn around and scare him? Hmm. No,” you think to yourself because soon enough you felt a hand gently shake your body.

“Y/N,”  he whispers, clearly in belief that you were asleep. You let him shake you around a little more, just to make your little “I’m just waking up” act a little more believable, “Y/N,” he repeats, and this time you begin to make groggy sounds. Actress of the Year Award : Check.

“Mm,” you hum, but you’re quickly jolted awake when you feel your covers get pulled off of you, “What are you—” you look up at Jungkook, who was dressed in complete workout gear. But what really had you concerned, was the workout clothing he had folded in his hands because well they were yours.

He tosses the matching pair of black leggings and sports bra, “Go change,” he sternly says, only causing you to look at him in further confusion.

“B-b-but-” Jungkook knows you’re about to not only complain, but ask many many questions. Because that’s just the type of person you are.

“Hobi told me you like buttermilk pancakes with extra syrup, but that since yours always come out burnt and his come out too dull, that the only time you get to eat them is if you go to a breakfast restaurant,” you narrow your eyes at him, confused as to where this was leading to, “Well at the coffee shop I work at, we have a weekly Pancake Tuesday and well let’s just say a certain someone has been rated top pancake maker for 2 months now,” you quirk your brow in interest, continuing to listen, a smirk now on his face, “and let’s also say this certain someone has a stack of warm pancakes sitting there on the kitchen island, untouched and certainly uneaten.”

You quickly smile at what he was insinuating, “BUT you can only eat them if you get up, get ready and change in 5 minutes,” he looks at the clock, “starting now.” And in the blink of an eye you were up and running towards your restroom because certainly if that didn’t get you up and out of bed, he wasn’t sure what would.

Quickly you brush your teeth and fix up your hair a bit, curious to know what Jungkook had planned out. To think you thought he was avoiding you! Well he was … but that doesn’t matter anymore! Placing your shoes on you begin to make your way towards the living room, the thought of eating those buttermilk pancakes almost making your mouth drool. That was until you stepped into the living room, stopping dead in your tracks.

Your eyes glaze over everything, blinking veryyy slowly, in order to make sure you were seeing things correctly. Jungkook had transformed your living room into some kind of um … workout center? For boxing? He had everything from the red punching bag, the reflex bag, the speed ball, jump rope, mini dumbbells, and most importantly boxing mitts for some one-on-one training. Everything was an adequate enough size to fit in all into the living room, but not too big in a way that it couldn’t be stored in the extra closet you had in the hallway.

“Why did you—” Jungkook hands you a pair of shiny black boxing gloves, along with bandages.

“I’m going to teach you the basics of boxing,” he presses his lips together, “whether you like it or not,” he says.

“Jungkook I don’t thin—”

“You don’t think what?” he looks at you in a way that tells you he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“I’m not really cut out for this kind of stuff,” you try to make an excuse for yourself anyway, but he wasn’t buying it.

“Because you have no experience, which is exactly why I’m going to teach you,” his brows draw together, a stern look on his face as he now makes eye contact with you, “You can’t just always expect someone to pop out of thin air and come to your rescue y/n, what happened two weeks ago was a mix of both good timing and sheer luck,” he sighs while pulling out a taser and pocket knife from his pocket, “and though this is helpful in many situations, you seem to forget to take these with you,” he scolds, “guess where they were the night at the club?” You stay silent, “the kitchen island,” he answers for you.

“Okay I get it, I get it,” you say, “I need to learn how to protect myself without using those,” you point to the items in his hand.

“Exactly, I’m glad we’re on the same page,” he playfully pats your head, “so we’ll be doing this every weekend for the next eight weeks, from 7AM till 2PM. We might even throw an occasional weekday night in there if I don’t get out of work too late.”

“7AM?!” you shriek, “Oh no no no, you sir are crazy,” you protest, shaking your head in denial, “No amount of pancakes will have me waking up that early every weekend.”

“Oh come on! The more hours you do, the better you’ll get!” he bargains with you, catching you off guard by throwing his arm around your shoulder, your cheeks going red as a result.

“Jungkook,” you dramatically cry out, ready to stomp your feet on the floor like a little kid, the only thing preventing you was you not wanting the downstairs neighbors to come up and complain.

He tightens his grip on you, “Come onnnnn,” he sings, “I’ll let you use my new body wash with the exfoliating properties,” he teases you, having heard you complain to Hobi one morning about being unsure of whether or not you could use it. You truly were too kind for your own good, cause if the situations were reversed, Jungkook would’ve just gone ahead and used it.

You narrow your eyes at him once again, “More like you’re buying me one of my own!” you demand and he nods in agreement, “Also, where did you even manage to get all this?” you ask, genuinely curious as to how he managed to buy all this.

“Um let’s just say I have a buddy at the boxing gym who didn’t really need these anymore,” you stare at him suspiciously, but decide to shrug it off. You’d ask him more questions some other day, but for now all you wanted was to eat those pancakes!

Hobi opens the door to his shared apartment, exhausted from the hike he just had this morning and honestly ready to just hop into bed and sleep. That was until he saw the transformation of his living room in front of his very own eyes, his skin paling and mouth gaping in shock.

“What the—” he whispers, preparing to scream out your names like a parent walking in their house only to find it destroyed by their teenagers, but before he could the sound of something stops him dead in his tracks. It was the sound of soft snores.

Walking towards the sound, which seemed to be coming from the long couch, a smile immediately appears on his face when he comes to see the view in front of him. You were on one side of the couch while Jungkook was on the other, both of your feet stretched out and touching in the middle, napping away. Hobi personally thought he was dreaming, this being a view he never thought he’d see.

Wanting to preserve the memory, he grabs his phone from his pocket and opens up the camera app, snapping the photo in silence, tempted to edit and post the photo with little clouds above each other's heads and make up some witty caption. But he’d save it for some other day. For now, he was just happy you two were finally getting along.

“Ah I had forgotten how that photo came to be,” Jungkook laughs, looking at the photo on your Iphone screen, “you were tired from working out, while I was tired from having to watch you continuously mess around with the equipment,” he pokes fun at you. Not like it wasn’t true, that day you kept going back to the speed ball, aimlessly hitting it in hopes that at some point you’d magically become fast at hitting it like in the movies.

“Hey, I’m pretty decent at doing everything now,” you flash him a cheesy smile. After several weeks of consistent training and long hours, you were definitely at a point where you could adequately defend yourself from someone ranging from a small petite woman to around a medium sized man. Luckily, you haven't come across a situation that has required you to to do so nor do you ever hope to, but it was comforting to know that if something ever did happen, then you were ready. But, your taser and pocket knife would always be your first go to, no matter what.

“You’re…” Jungkook pauses, “okay,” he breathes, huffing a quiet laugh. Out of impulse you flash him the finger, showing off your freshly manicured fingers. “Aren’t you rude,” he says with a dramatic gasp.

You roll your eyes, “You’re the one who taught me,” you laugh, and Jungkook places his hand on his chest, looking at you with a dramatic offended look on his face.

“Me?” he feigns his surprise.

“Yes you! How could I forget,” you look at him accusingly.

“No I taught you how to stop faking a smile, and to start putting a foot down people’s neck,” he shrugs, “not to go sticking out the middle finger,” he jokes, and you only roll your eyes again, grumbling a small  “Mm.”

May 2019.

To your surprise, you had been managing to consistently wake up and work out every weekend with Jungkook, with him even being able to up your usual workout plan at a drastic rate. You’d shed a couple of pounds and to your surprise could even see some muscle beginning to form, but today, well today was your monthly lazy day.

Lazy day was the one day of the month where you and Hobi would push everything off your schedule, from calling off of work, to making sure everything in the apartment was clean, and buying snacks the night before in order to make sure you wouldn’t have to step out of the apartment. It was usually picked the month before by either you or Hobi closing your eyes and randomly pointing somewhere on the calendar, and whatever day your index finger managed to land on would be the day. And well today was that day.

But when Hobi told you yesterday night that a family emergency was going to have to bring lazy day to a temporary halt because he had to drive back to Busan, which in itself was a three hour trip from Seoul, you had already called the day off weeks prior as your job wasn’t as lenient on last minute call offs. The contract you signed stating in small print, “any day off must be requested, sent in, and approved 2 weeks prior to the date said employee is asking for.”

And so this morning when Jungkook entered your room to find you completely knocked out with drool coming out of your mouth, he was surprised to say the least. On weekday mornings, he would almost always wake up to find himself alone in the apartment considering both you and Hobi have day jobs, so hearing snores come out of your room had definitely caught him off guard.

He debated on whether he should be annoying and wake you up and then force you to work out or be a nice roommate and make you breakfast. Let’s just say he didn’t choose the latter. Grabbing one of the stuffed animals that you weren’t hugging, he throws it at your head, a grunt coming out of your mouth after.

“Jungkook,” you mutter, morning voice in full effect, “let me sleep please,” you say, switching to the other side, in hopes that he’d leave.

“No, you need to work out,” he says, beginning to nag.

Turning around again, this time to face him, you look at him with your eyes half-way open, “Today’s lazy day,” you deadpan, his eyes narrow in confusion.

“What the hell is, quote on quote, lazy day?” he asks, lifting a brow. Rubbing your eyes along with eye boogers in the corners, you begin to stretch your arms and legs, not caring if he was staring.

Sighing once you were ready to respond, you then answer, “Lazy day is the one day of the month that me and Hobi take a day off of work to well … be lazy,” he stares at you with an innocent look on his face, “butttttt,” a mischievous smile appears on your face, “since Hobi cancelled on me, now you’re going to be lazy partner for the day.” His face twists in bewilderment.

“Huh?”

“You heard me, go call the café, and tell em you’re taking the day off,” you smile, now getting up from bed.

“And why would I do that?” Jungkook asks, the question coming off a little harsher than intended, but you were quick to shrug it off, already accustomed to the occasional attitude.

“Becauseeeeee,” you sing, “When was the last time you’ve taken a day off, I mean look at you right now! You’re already dressed comfortably,” you eye him up and down, he was currently in work out clothing which for him consisted of an oversized grey sweater and joggers, “do you really wanna get all sweaty and then have to shower, change, and go to work… cause I don’t think you do,” you raise your eyebrows up and down in a teasing manner as he avoids eye contact with you.

His eyes look around your room, clearly thinking to himself. A lazy day huh? Hmm you did make a point, he really couldn’t remember the last time he’s just lounged around and done nothing, as he was always doing something whether it be working out, working, going out, etc.

He looks back at you once he’s made his decision, letting out a huff of air, “Fine,” he says, grabbing his phone from his pocket, preparing to dial the coffee shop, a tiny squeal coming from you.

“I thought lazy day meant no going out,” Jungkook complains while pushing the grocery cart around, following you and your need to go up and down each and every aisle at the store.

“It does, but since Hobi and I couldn’t go grocery shopping the night before,” you grab some strawberry lemonade from the freezer and place it in the cart, “someone has to help carry the groceries up the stairs,” you catch him rolling his eyes, “your eyes will get stuck up there if you keep doing that,” you comment, grabbing packaged ramen from the counter beside you.

“Yeah, Yeah—” Jungkook stares at what’s in your hands wide eyed, “No, no, no! What are you doing?” You jump in surprise, dropping the package on the floor.

“Wh-what?” your face flushes in surprise, his outburst completely catching you off guard.

“Shin Ramyun?! What happened to getting Paldo Bibimmyeon?! Do you have no loyalty?” he scrunches his face up, in clear distress at what he just caught you doing. At first you don’t think he’s serious, this being some stupid joke he was making, but once you got a glimpse of the stare he was giving you, you’d soon come to realize that he was not playing around at all.

“It’s be-be-because,” you begin to stutter under his scrutiny, “these are buy three, get two free,” you lopsidedly smile, an awkward laugh feigning from your lips.  He shakes his head, snatching the ramen from your hands and placing it on its original spot before then grabbing his Paldo Bibimmyeon.

“Choosing price over quality, are you crazy?” he mutters under his breath before pushing the cart past you and making his way to the checkout line, leaving you there momentarily flabbergasted.

Once you caught up to him you were ready to tell him something until you heard the sound of someone calling your name, “Y/N?” you turn around, surprised to see Jimin in the line next to you.

“Oh Jimin!” you smile, softly waving at the newly blonde-haired boy, his roots telling you that the hair job was recent. Jimin offers his hand out to Jungkook. Jungkook, at first hesitant, shakes it in return, “You remember Jimin, right? He was with us on New Years, he was supposed to come partying with us last time, but he flaked last minute,” Jungkook slowly nods remembering the boy wrapping his arm around you during the countdown while Jimin on the other hand raises his hands to his defense.

“Even a person like me can get burnt out every here and then,” he laughs, “but next time I’ll be sure to be on the dance floor,” he winks at you, his natural flirty personality making its appearance. Jungkook awkwardly coughs, pushing the cart forward to get your attention back in the moving line.

You feel your hands get a bit clammy, Jimin always being someone you did have a bit of a crush on, never pursuing anything because of your long-term friendship with him. But of course that didn’t mean he didn’t get an occasional blush out of you here and there. “So how have you been since the last time I saw you? It’s been quite a while—”

And just as you’re about to answer, Jungkook interrupts, “Y/N,” he says, nudging you to tell you that it was time to pay.

“Ah I guess I’ll just see you around then,” Jimin chuckles, waving a small goodbye.

“O-oh yeah I guess I—”

“Y/N,” Jungkook repeats, unbeknownst to you, the green eyed monster was beginning to make its appearance. Any longer and horns would probably start sprouting out his ears.

Once you two finish paying and bagging everything, you walk towards Jungkook’s new black Hyundai which he had bought only a couple of weeks ago after months of what he calls “busting his ass” off and using most of his savings up for. You hum a tiny tune while helping him place all the bags in the trunk.

“So…” Jungkook awkwardly begins, second guessing whether he should continue asking the question he had in his mind before deciding to just do it anyway, “Is that like your boyfriend or something?”

Immediately you stop humming, staring at Jungkook wide-eyed, “Oh no, no!” you quickly deny, “No, No, no,” you repeat, shaking your head. The redness of your cheeks tell another story.

“Hm,” Jungkook mumbles, “sorta looked like it,” he deadpans before going to put the cart in its designated spot, leaving you there confused as to what that meant. 

After a couple of hours of lounging around in the apartment and binging Narcos: Mexico on the TV rather than your laptop because of Jungkook’s complaints, the two of you were now eating your ramen on the kitchen island, quietly seated on the tall chairs. The sound of Jungkook slurping his noodles filling the room.

“What did you mean by Jimin being my boyfriend or something?” you suddenly ask out of nowhere, the question having been on your mind for a majority of the day.

Jungkook takes a final gulp of his food before responding, “I don’t know,” he nonchalantly shrugs, “you were gawking at him like a schoolgirl seeing her crush in the hallway,” he says, “thought you two had something going on, or at least on your part,” he reiterates.  

“I did not stare at him like some schoolgirl!” you deny, taking offense to his analogy, “He’s j-jus—”

“J-just someone you clearly have a crush on,” he mocks your flusteredness, “I see and here a part of me thought it thought it was two-sided,” he smirks.

“It’s not sided on either way,” you protest, “Jimin is just a friend,” you clarify, putting your foot down.  

“How do you even know the dude?” he asks. He knew you and Hobi met during college, and that Hobi was in some club with Yoongi and Namjoon which explains how you met them. He also knew that Seokjin and Taehyung came into the picture after some college frat party, but Jimin, well he didn’t know too much about Jimin. Just that he clearly felt comfortable enough to have his arm around you during New Years.

“I met him during my first year of performing at Busan Arts College, that was before I transferred to Seoul National where I’d then meet Hobi,” Jungkook’s ears perk up, several questions now running through his head.

“An arts college? In Busan?”

“Yeah, like a school for dance majors, drawing, theatre, music, film, modelling, sports, interior design, animation, and et cetera,” you smile softly while explaining, “I was an art major, painting to be specific, and along the scopes of watercolors and abstractness.”

Jungkook hums, his curiosity still not completely fulfilled, “So why’d you transfer?” he asks the big question.

“Oh..” you know you shouldn’t be, but for some reason you are slightly taken back by his blunt question, “because..” you sigh, “um something happened that well um I just thought it’d be best to transfer, and well my math skills weren’t too rusty for the entrance exam and my credits were exceptional for transferring and so I just took the leap and left. Met Hobi, we became roommates, decided to stay roommates even after graduating and well now I’m an accountant.”

Jungkook stays silent for a moment, surprised that there was more to you than meets the eye. He would’ve never guessed that you were into painting, “I stayed in touch with Jimin, introduced him to my new group of friends and well yeah, that’s that,” you finish explaining, “He was a dance major, just in case you were curious,” you add, “He now works at a contemporary dance company here in Seoul, very deep with connections in the arts industry,” So that’s who Jimin was huh? Cool... but now Jungkook was much more curious about you.

“Do you ever paint?” he asks another question, completely finished with his meal and at this point only staying for the conversation. It was weird, had it been anyone else asking you these questions you wouldn't have dared entertain it any further, probably finding some way to maneuver out of it. But for Jungkook to ask whether it be from a place of nosiness or simple curiosity, hell maybe even boredom, for some reason you just didn’t mind.

“Um not really, not anymore at least, especially these days that work is beginning to pile up but,” you hesitate for a moment before continuing, “I still have some of my old work somewhere under my bed, probably in a storage box knowing me.”

“Can I see them?”

And just as you’re about to answer, your phone’s ringing sound goes off. The person calling? Jimin. You hesitate to answer, glancing at Jungkook who was staring at your phone, presumably reading the name. Once he does, he looks at you in a way that was asking, “Are you going to pick up?”

You click the green button to accept, “Hello?”

“Y/N?” Jimin asks, unsure if it was you.

“Yes?”

“Hey! Um so I was actually meaning to call for quite a while,” Jungkook tries his best not to make it obvious that he’s listening in, “and so when I ran into you and your friend at the market it served as a complete reminder.”

“Oh what for?” you ask politely.

“Well I was hoping we could catch up over some dinner, and then I could tell you something very important that I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time,” From Jimin? “I was thinking this Saturday like at 7? I’ll pick you up.”  

“Oh um..” for some reason you look at Jungkook for advice, but he just stares at you with his eyebrows furrowed, “Yeah sure, why not?” you awkwardly laugh.

“Perfect, I’ll see you then! Byeeeee,” he sings before clicking, leaving you on the line. Did that call really just happen? Or were just imagining things?  

“I think—” you gulp, “I think I have a date this Saturday?” you say unsurely, a small dumbfounded smile beginning to appear on your face.

He notices the goofy smile beginning to appear on your face, before letting out a large exasperated breath and feigning his best smile. The forced smile comes out quite awkward, “With Park Jimin?” Park Jimin your college friend. Park Jimin, the successful contemporary dancer. Park Jimin, the one who looked like he came straight out of a magazine cover. That Park Jimin? Jungkook on the other hand could feel his eyebrow impulsively twitch in response, the green eyed monster creeping from behind, ready to make its return.

You nod your head yes, Jungkook now getting up from the chair, a negative energy now around him. “So much for it being a zero sided thing,” he mutters before practically throwing his dish into the sink and stomping out the kitchen, leaving you completely by yourself.

“Weird,” you think to yourself before heading off to bed.

Saturday had surprisingly arrived in the blink of an eye despite the extra hours of working out Jungkook had thrown in the morning. It was almost as if the boy wanted you to be on your date exhausted and halfway knocked out. Out of nowhere, deciding that today was the best day to start working on more leg targeted exercises, as a result your legs now felt like jell-o with every step you took.

“I’m gonna get going you guys,” you announce to the boys in the living room, who were currently on the couch watching an episode of One Piece.

Hobi turns his attention from the screen to look at you, immediately smiling at your outfit, “Ahh look at you,” he compliments, Jungkook on the other hand or silently watches you as you grab your keys from the countertop. “Doesn’t she look pretty Jungkook?” Hobi asks, tapping Jungkook on the shoulder. Jungkook remains silent, which oddly enough resulted in a heavy feeling in your chest. “Now she’s sad!” Hobi scolds, “Tell her she looks pretty,” Hobi pushes Jungkook’s shoulder this time.

“You look…” Jungkook pauses, and for a moment both you and Hobi hold your breath, for Jungkook’s mouth was quite unpredictable sometimes, “You look more than pretty,” he says with a warm look on his face before catching himself and going back to his usual expressionless face and turning his attention back to the screen. Hobi who looks like he’s about to tease the hell out Jungkook once you leave, struggles to hide the big grin on his face. While you, well you could’ve sworn you felt your heart skip a beat.  

“Well get going now! And don’t come back too late!” Hobi teases, loving the persona of acting like a parent a little too much.

Was thinking about your roommate regular for a date? Because that’s what you found yourself doing … a lot. From the moment you had stepped into Jimin’s car your immediate comparison was to Jungkook’s own car. Once he started driving, your mind went to how unlike Jimin who drove with both hands on the steering wheel, Jungkook liked driving with one. More specifically his left. 

And of course being on a date you expect conversation to be flowing all around even when you’re waiting on the food, but for some reason you had become so used to Jungkook always being silent until he was nearly finished with his food, that when Jimin began to make conversation while waiting definitely felt … odd for you to say the least. And don’t even get you started on what he ended up ordering. Well done steak?! Jungkook hated well done steak, preferring medium rare over anything. And so to say your roommate had been constantly on your mind this whole time was a bit of an understatement. 

Currently the two of you were walking on the bridge of a local park, the several number of lampposts and people all around you making it less scary than compared to that night at the park with Jungkook. “So Y/N how’s your year been so far?” Jimin asks, a pleasant smile on his face.

“It’s been,” you pause, thinking about the person who came into your life only months ago, “it’s been pretty good.”

“That’s good to hear, that’s good to hear,” he repeats, the two of you now sitting on a bench, “So I know I told you I had some important news,” he begins, “and it’s something I’ve been really wanting to talk to you about for a very long time,” he insinuates, “and so if you could close your eyes for a moment that’d be great,” you do as follows, and close your eyes, Your heart begins to race but it wasn’t the same kind of racing you felt that night at the park with Jungkook. It was more of a “what am I doing here?” kind of nervousness so to speak. Nonetheless you shrug the feeling off.

Jimin, who was originally supposed to be getting an exhibition flyer out of his coat, notices that you have what looks to be a leaf in your hair. Deciding that it was bothering him too much he goes and reaches for it, surprised to be in contact with your lips seconds later. Quickly he pulls away, staring at you wide eyed. Both of your faces now tomato red, as he struggles to form words.

Eyes still widened, he pulls out the folded paper from jacket, once unfolded it reads, “Seoul City’s Annual Public Art Exhibition with a special performance by Seoul’s Contemporary Dance Academy choreographed by Park Jimin.”

“Oh my God—” you manage to breath out, coming to the realization that kissing you was not his attention.

He scratches the back of his neck, “I um, yeah, I’m this year’s choreographer for the city's art exhibition and well I managed to get you a slot so that you could have your very first art piece exhibited,” Jimin feigns an awkward smile, “You know since you’re a painter first before an accountant.” You, still hung up on what was probably the most embarrassing moment of your life, stare at him in complete silence. Everything barely registering in your head.

“Y/N…” he begins the dreadful pity speech by grabbing your hand, “I um,” he lets out an awkward chuckle before continuing, “I like you, I do, but not in that way…”

In the movies, this is where you’re supposed to feel as if your world was crashing down on you, the part where your heart is supposed to sink in complete sadness and you go home a complete crying mess. But rather than feel any of those things, you instead feel …. relief? Yeah, you kissing the boy was embarrassing, but it wasn’t something that was gonna haunt you for the rest of your life. Maybe for a week or two, but not definitely not the rest of your life.

Jimin wonders what’s going through your mind, the apparent smile that suddenly grew on your face telling him that things were going to be just fine, “I sorta um had my eyes on someone else in our friend group…” and with that he gets your attention because you knew exactly who he was talking about.

“Taehyung,” you say, and Jimin silently nods, a laugh emitting from both of your lips.

“Honestly, I’m a little surprised that you even agreed to go out with me, that Jungkook dude seemed like was going to lunge at me any second over there at the supermarket,” Jimin says, “I thought you two were a thing at first.”  

You laugh in disbelief, “Me and Jungkook?” you say, scrunching your face.

“Um yeah, it’s not really something shocking,” Jimin laughs, “I mean you two definitely looked like a couple that day, very much doing um couple-like things. Maybe not affectionate wise but I don’t know there were definitely looks and glances being exchanged. But if you say there’s nothing between you two then who am I to argue?” Jimin shrugs his shoulders, a smirk on his face.

“Exactly, who are you to argue,” you dramatically snarl, Jimin throwing his head back in laughter.

“So y/n what do you say about participating in the art exhibition? You know you want toooo,” Jimin sings, pouting his lips. You had forgotten about that for a moment, the embarrassment of the kiss completely fazing you out.

“Oh I don’t know,” you nervously say, you hadn’t seriously painted in such a long time, that chapter in your life being a closed book for quite some time now.

“But y/n—” Jimin begs, “This could be the moment you’ve been waiting for, there’s going to be a lot of professional artists there along with buyers.”

“I just—” something was holding you back from saying yes. Was it fear? Maybe. All you knew was that you couldn't dive into something that you had long given up on, “I don’t think I can,” you ultimately say.

Jimin frowns, “You sure? I can’t hold the slot for too long, and well I was so sure you’d say yes..” You sigh before nodding, confirming that you were saying no.

“Ah okay,” Jimin says, completely understanding, “Come on let’s get you home,” to which you nod, a small sad smile on your face.

By the time you got back home, you wondered if the boys’ were asleep already, hoping at least one of them was awake to talk to, more specifically Hobi, for he always knew what to say when you needed comfort. And so when you opened the door to find the TV still on, but no one in the living room, you were confused to say the least.

You walk towards Hobi’s room, crack open the door, and peep your head in only to find him sound asleep. Did that mean Jungkook was up? Maybe someone just forgot to turn off the TV… with your curiosity getting the best of you, you decide to go Jungkook’s room and check if he was there. With your hand on the knob, you begin to twist it, slowly opening the door until a voice scares you from behind, “What are you doing?” he harshly whispers causing you to yelp in surprise.

“Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God,” you whisper as well, closing his door immediately, “I-I-I thought you were,” you point at his door, unable to complete your sentence.

“I was peeing,” he says, “Did you not see the light on?”

Shaking your head no, you ask, “What are you even doing up this late?”

Jungkook awkwardly stammers, “I um, I just couldn’t sleep,” he says instead of admitting that secretly he was waiting for you to arrive, just to make sure you were safe. Nothing else of course, not like he wanted to know how your date went… “Why are you going into my room without my permission?” he questions.

You scoff, “You always go in mine!” you try your best to keep your voice down, not wanting to wake up a grumpy Hobi, “Why can’t I go in yours?”

“Because you’ve never told me anything against me going into yours,” he argues, “Just because we’re um,” he pauses, struggling to say the word that comes next, “friends… doesn’t mean you get to go snooping around.” What the hell was he hiding in there that you couldn’t go in?

“That’s not fair and you know it,” you complain, ready to cross your arms and complain like a kid, that is until he flicks your forehead with his index finger.

“Ow,” you cry, “What was that for?” you groan, and he shrugs in response.

“I don’t know I just felt like doing it,” he smirks, “your forehead just looks so … flickable.” You narrow your eyes, quickly flicking his in return, garnering an “ow” from him as well.

“Oh you’re gonna pay for that,” he says, and quickly but also softly because you didn’t want to stomp too hard on the floor, you run back to the living room, the two of you now chasing each other around, index fingers ready for some more flicking. Maniacal fits of giggles filling the room as you begin to throw pillows at each other, running around the kitchen island like little kids. 

Jungkook, despite being the faster runner, was the one being chased. The closer you got to him, the further you began to reach your arm for his t-shirt, your fingertips always grazing the bottom. But once you finally did, something very unexpected happened. You tripped.

Soon enough, you were hands down on the floor, Jungkook below you, a casualty of your fall. The two of you now facing each other, chests heaving from your game of tag, laughing uncontrollably. Not exactly caring if Hobi, the neighbors, or the rest of the world could hear you.

Gradually, you get off him and instead lay on the kitchen floor right next him, aimlessly staring at the ceiling. A comfortable silence in the air. If someone would’ve told you at the beginning of the year that you and Jungkook would be playing tag in the apartment like little kids, you would’ve told them they were crazy. But yet here you were, heart pounding out of your chest, wanting this moment to remain for as long as it possibly could.

“So…” Jungkook continues to stare at the ceiling, “How’d your date go?”

“It was…” you use the only word that could properly describe it, “embarrassing,” you giggle, recalling what happened. Jungkook looks at you, eager to say the least, to know why.

“Let’s just say I ummm … took some signs completely wrong,” you awkwardly chuckle, “or long story short, I sorta kissed him and well let’s just say he has his eyes on someone else in our friend group.”

Was it wrong for Jungkook to feel happy? Happy that you two didn’t have insane chemistry, become boyfriend and girlfriend, and live happily ever after after like in the fairytales. Of course he wasn’t happy that it was you who went for the kiss, nor that it was who you got rejected, but it was better than you coming in here raving on about Park Jimin, no offense to Jimin.

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook says, an attempt to comfort you.

“It’s fine really,” you laugh, “what’s weird was that I didn’t really feel as heartbroken or as sad as I thought I’d be,” you shrug, “I’m just glad it didn’t ruin our friendship or anything. If anything I’m sad about what he offered... “

“What did he offer?” Jungkook’s jaw tightens, but you’re quick to shake your head and sigh.

“He offered me a spot at Seoul’s annual art exhibition, I guess since he choreographed a dance, he was able to talk them into giving him a spot and well I said no,” Jungkook frowns, wondering why you didn’t take the offer, “I just couldn’t see myself doing it… I haven’t painted in what feels like forever and to then have it be seen by thousands of people, yeah I can already feel the anxiety from that. One bad comment and I’m going to have to fake a smile the whole time and cry when I get home.”

Jungkook scoffs, “Who cares what others think? Screw them. I know that it’s rich coming from me, but if you think those people who may insult you or throw some sly comment to get under your skin are better than you in any way then let me tell you, they’re not. And who says you have to take their shit? Stop feeling as if you have to always put on some fake smile for people in order to spare their feelings and start looking out for your own,” Jungkook sits up, looking down on you. “So you know what you’re going to do?”

You stare at him in silence, murmuring a tiny “what?”

“You’re going to text Jimin right now and tell him you’re taking that spot,” Jungkook demands, “and if you don’t then I’ll call him myself and do it for you.” Now it’s your turn to sit yourself right up, waiting for a sign in his eyes that told you he was purely kidding. “Well what are you waiting for?” He eyes your pockets, waiting for you to reach for your phone.

“Jungko—”

“Y/N, you can’t tell me that you’re not feeling sad because you know you’re going to regret saying no to the opportunity,” Jungkook’s voice raises without meaning to, placing his hands on your shoulders, “I don’t have to see a single painting of yours to know that you’re talented, and if people can’t see that then honestly it’s their loss.” You feel your heart swell with every word, slowly pulling out your phone from the back pocket of your jeans.

Jungkook gets up from his position, offering his hand to help pull you up. Once he pulls you, he walks towards the fridge, and takes two pints of ice cream out the freezer. Your face lights up as you watch him get two spoons from the drawer, “Don’t hold it against me, but I bought these after you left just in case you came back a crying mess,” he avoids eye contact with you while handing you your pint, “But heartbreak or not, someone has to eat these. So come on, send that text so we can watch some One Piece.”

“Imagine you would’ve never convinced me to do the art exhibition,” you laugh, gently nudging Jungkook.

“Mm though it could’ve prevented a lot of things, the good definitely outweighed the bad so…” Jungkook pauses, “I guess it just goes to show you have to go through the downs in order to reap the rewards of the up.”

“Now look who's getting all wordy on me,” you tease.

“I guess you’re rubbing off on me more than I’d like to admit,” he pretends to be annoyed by dramatically sighing but a laugh soon follows.

June 2019.

After texting Jimin that you had changed your mind, you began to work on the painting you had brainstormed for the art exhibition, first sketching it out and now well on your way to starting your quite large painting. 

Honestly, pulling out your old art tools and portfolio from years ago was nostalgic, bringing you a genuine sense of completeness. To have a decent paying job, the best of friends, and now being able to practice the hobby you had once considered turning into a career was everything you could ask for. But what made you feel even warmer inside was just how supportive Jungkook was of the whole thing, always buying and bringing back art materials for you to use, including different colors of paint. Though most of the time they weren’t really what you considered the best quality, it was the thought that counted.

After your boxing lessons with him, you’d usually go straight to your room to begin working on it, for the first time since you stopped painting feeling actual motivation and creativity flowing through you. Life was good. Not good, amazing.

That was until today, when you noticed Jungkook hadn’t woken you up for your usual Saturday workout. “Maybe he overslept?” you think to yourself, probably had a tiresome night at work yesterday. Slowly you make your way outside his door, gently knocking on the door.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Nothing. Not a groan, not a “let me sleep”, absolutely nothing. You knock one more time just to make sure, your shoulders dropping once you realize he wasn’t going to open the door. Remembering what he said about entering his room, you decide that if he was having a bad day, it’d just be best to leave him be for the meanwhile.

Things didn’t really start getting alarming until you and Hobi both noticed that he skipped breakfast. His door remaining absolutely closed the whole morning and day, not a peep of sound coming out.

“Hobi, I’m starting to get worried,” your eyes glimmer with concern, “He hasn’t come out all day.”

“I know I am too, but—” Hobi sighs, “I don’t want to pressure him into—” the sound of a door opening quickly grabs your guys’ attention, the two of you silently watching Jungkook come out of his room. The time on the clock reading 6PM, the sun outside beginning to set. Carefully you watch Jungkook come into the kitchen, grabbing nothing more than a water bottle and a couple of snacks.

There’s a redness to his eyes that you’d never seen before, almost as if he had been sobbing. His under eyes were in the early stages of becoming puffy, and his skin seemed a lot paler than usual. You feel your heart sink when the two of you, for a mere second, make eye contact. Quietly he begins to make his way back to his room, but not before you offer him some food.

“Y/N—” Hobi tries to stop you, but you continue nonetheless.

“I made japchae,” you say, “I even added extra mushrooms like how you always like it,” he stares at you in silence, a cold look to his eyes before ignoring you and returning to his room. The door slamming shut once he does. If your heart was sunk already, then it was definitely stomped and ripped into pieces after that.

You turn your attention back to the TV, feeling Hobi’s stare from the side. Suddenly the volume of the TV is lowered and you already know what's coming, “Y/N…” you hear Hobi say, a sad tone behind his voice.

“Hobi don’t,” you cut him off before he could continue, not wanting to receive his pity, “I just don’t feel like hearing it right now.”

Hobi ignores you, knowing you were just putting up a wall as a defense mechanism, “You know he didn’t mean it,” he says, “he’s probably just having a rough day that’s all.”

“Even if he is, why does he still feel the need to just keep it to himself, why can’t he see that he can trust us, that he can trust me? Sometimes it feels like he knows a lot more about me than I know about him—” you rant, trying to keep your voice down so that Jungkook doesn’t hear you from his room.

Hobi sighs, getting up from the couch and grabbing his jacket and keys from the counter, “Put on your shoes,” he says, and you look at him confused before doing as he says and following him outside. The two of you then climb up the fire ladder of your apartment and onto the roof, the view of the stars sending shivers down your spine.

“Okay now sit—” he commands, which you do anyway.

“Why are we even out here?” you question, regretting not bringing your own sweater.

“Because I’m going to tell you a story, and well I don’t want Jungkook hearing us,” he says, making himself comfortable in the spot next to you, “You ready?”

Silently you nod your head yes, and so he continues.

“When I was a kid, I was what you could call ...nerdy … so to speak,” he chuckles, “I had those big ol glasses that made you look like you had fish eyes, I liked reading the Harry Potter books, I didn’t like playing sports like the rest of the boys in my elementary school did, and well in general I just wasn’t like a lot of them,” he pauses to look up at the sky, continuing once he was ready, “Now when you’re in elementary, kids won’t directly bully you, but instead they’ll make little teasing remarks because well ...we’re kids. We don’t know the big curse words yet or what we’re capable of physically. And so as a kid I’d let those jokes slide, I’d let their insults become the label put on me, not knowing the true maliciousness behind it.”

You feel your eyes become glossy, knowing where this was leading, “But the older you get, the more you begin to learn and well soon enough the teasing became full on bullying by middle school. The older kids would make these nicknames for me, and constantly call me them before, during, and after school. Occasionally even following me for a couple of blocks when walking home just to remind me that they had power over me,” Hobi’s voice begins to shake a little, “and well I didn’t know how to speak up for myself, let alone defend myself and so it just became a regular occurrence until on a certain day in middle school,” he pauses, taking a big breath. 

“I had been walking home from school that day, and for some reason that day I decided I wanted to take a different route back home, probably because I was hoping the kids who would bully me would decide not to follow me. But boy was I was wrong,” he feigns a laugh, “The route I had taken was right next to the Suyeong River, and well I think it’s important to note that I didn’t know how to swim at the time. I think I personally choose not to remember too much, but one moment I was walking and the next I had my face being pulled in and out of the water, the sounds of laughter being the thing I remember the most from that day,” Hobi closes his eyes, his voice cracking as he continues, “And I just remember thinking how could kids my age be so viscous?” tears begin to silently fall from his eyes, his hands slightly shaking at the recollection of the memory, “I thought this was it, this is the end of the line for me.”

“It wasn’t until I felt the release of my hair and the touch of someone pulling back that the nightmare came to an end,” Hobi wipes his tears with the sleeve of his sweater, “When I finally managed to get some kind of focus on my vision, I’d come to see the boy who was pushing me into the water completely knocked out the floor while the rest of his buddies were running to who knows where,” The scene from the club begins to replay in your head, remembering the person who had gotten there just at the right time.

“And then there was Jungkook, the boy I’d never seen a day in my life , helping me fix myself along with looking for my glasses even after having knocked out that boy with his bare hands. After that me and Jungkook became the best of friends, like actual genuine friends and the bullying had completely stopped. I’d also come to find out that Jungkook was a boxer, and not a casual one, like an “I practice every weekday, weekend, day, and night.” kind of one. He was aiming to go pro, and so he had to put in the time for it. His parents were supportive of it as well, as I think his dad saw the most potential in it.”  

Hobi takes a breather before continuing, finding yourself completely immersed in the story, “And so when our senior year came around and I had gotten accepted into SNU, I asked Jungkook what he was planning on doing now that we were graduating. And well that’s when he told me that had gotten an offer to train and compete in the states, where there’d be a lot more tougher competition and where he could really develop the natural talent he had. So on graduation day we had our teary farewell, and I remember telling him that if he ever needed anything and I truly meant anything, that he’d know where to find me.”

“So when years later I received a call at about 2 in the morning, asking if he could redeem the favor he had once done for me so long ago, I knew I couldn’t say no. I don’t know what happened in the states, and I don’t bother to ask him because I know that the day he’s ready to tell me or you, he will. Whatever did happen over there, changed him though. He came back a colder, more rude person, and honestly I thought he’d be like that forever until he started to get to know you,” Hobi smiles, “That’s when I began to see glimpses of the Jungkook I knew from high school again, the one who liked to mess around all the time, and never took himself too seriously.”

“You see y/n, I’m telling you all of this because I want you to know that Jungkook isn’t like us in the way of opening up when he feels sad or mad. He’s used to being the one doing all the protecting and so when he finds himself in a place where he’s overwhelmed by the feelings of sadness or anger, he gives the cold shoulder or becomes someone who isn’t like him at all, in order to avoid talking about it. I think it’s because he doesn’t want anyone to know the burden he carries. To sum it up y/n, Jungkook is the definition of when it rains, it pours … but when it shines, you’ll completely forget it ever rained to begin with,” Hobi pats you softly on the shoulder, “So the best thing you can do right now is let the storm play itself out, so that then you can be there when the rainbow comes back out.”

If only you had listened.

“Ahh so it was Hobi who told you everything,” Jungkook scrunches his face.

“No duhhhhh,” you sing, “Who else could have?”

Jungkook shrugs, “I don’t know, I thought you just magically figured it out on your own,” you’re unsure on whether he’s being sarcastic or not so all you is narrow your eyes at him, deciding to stay silent than make yourself look stupid.

“Mm either way Hobi made a BIG mistake telling me,” you laugh, “because he should've known my nosiness was only going to lead to problems.”

“Tell me about it,” Jungkook teases, resulting in a light smack to the shoulder.

July 2019.

It had been about a month since Jungkook’s change in behavior, his cold demeanor reminding you of when he first moved in months ago. The only time he’d ever leave his room was to go to work, use the restroom, or get his food to take to his room. You had been working on your painting whenever you got the chance, a distraction from the constant concern you felt for Jungkook. You know Hobi said to give it time, but how long would it be until Jungkook decided to finally open up? He couldn’t go on like this forever, could he?

You missed the Jungkook you had gotten to know in the last couple of months, the one who showed you that the tough wall he put up around him was nothing more than an act. That behind it, he was a complete sweetheart who liked drinking his banana milk and watching One Piece whenever he had the chance, the one who constantly liked to steal your things from your room and then replace them with an even better version, the one whose laugh sorta reminded you of Elmo but was still absolutely adorable, and lastly the one who you had found constantly by your side and falling further in love with every waking moment.

Not like, but love. You had come to realize it while you were in bed one night, your only thoughts being thunk all relating to Jungkook in some way. Remembering the number of times this month where you’d find yourself outside his bedroom door, inches away from knocking, knowing that all you needed was for him to open up the door at least once and you’d know everything was going to be okay. Sadly, you’d always find yourself chickening out, Hobi’s words always ringing in your head to serve as a reminder. Jungkook needed space. And as much as you wanted to run up to him and give him a tight hug, you knew you had to respect his boundaries.

So then why was it that today, when you found yourself painting and missing a certain color, a tiny voice in your head was telling you that maybe Jungkook had it… Realistically you knew it wasn’t possible, you had kept track of all your colors from the moment you started, but damn was that voice convincing. 

Getting up from the floor, you walk out into the living room, checking around to see if it was there. Hobi, who was currently taking a nap on the couch, seemed completely at peace.

You check his room to see if he has it, but your efforts were to no avail. The only place it had to be was Jungkook’s room. It had to be. At least that’s what you were telling yourself so could finally have an excuse to knock on his door. Making your way to his room, you prepare to knock, your knuckles lightly tapping against the wooden door. But to your surprise the door creaks open, no one presumably in the room…

You could’ve sworn Jungkook was home? You double check the restroom, making sure it wasn’t going to be an incident like last time, but this time he really wasn’t there. The voice of reasoning versus temptation now had you completely torn. You remember the day Jungkook first moved in, and how secretive he got over you seeing whatever it was inside his boxes, and the night after your date and how stern he was about you not entering.

Slowly you push open the door of his room, completely forgetting Hobi’s words and deciding that it was either now or never. You knew you were a pushing boundary that you shouldn’t be, but a part of you also felt like it had to be done. Maybe if you found out what was bothering Jungkook so much, you could help him.

Honestly, you weren't too sure on what you expected when you first entered. Considering how secretive Jungkook was about it, you sorta assumed the room would be all black and have a whole bunch of weird things hanging across the walls, but surprisingly his room looked completely normal. The bed covers were a navy blue color that matched with some of the artwork he had hung across the beige colored apartment walls. The drawers were plain and boring while his desk looked like any other ordinary desk:  stacked with random sketches, pens, One piece manga, and printed webtoons. If this is all he was hiding, then it really no made sense because there was literally nothing to hide….

That was until you saw the closed closet door, and once you opened it, you were blown away. For what was behind those closet doors was an entire memorabilia of awards, belts, photos, and trophies which you assumed were all Jungkook’s, newspapers from the states with headlines that spoke of how amazing Jungkook was. Many of them include the words “rising”, “prodigy”,  and “the next big thing”. Your eyes try to take everything in all in one go, but it was just so much. There were papers that were written about him even when he was a kid, pictures of his with several belts around his waist amazed you. This was insane.

But it wasn’t until you noticed the newspaper headline of the paper hung right in the center of the practical shrine that the smile from your face fell, as it read, “Prodigy Jeon Jungkook, K.O’d in Round 12 against Brandon Star.” You look at the date, and everything begins to start making sense. The date which read December 1, 2018, only a couple of weeks prior to your first meeting with him at New Years, the churning feeling in your stomach only becoming heavier as you read the newspaper next to it. “Rising Star, Jeon Jungkook, disappears. Where is he now?” it reads, and as you skim through the different articles, the whole memorabilia shrine begins to make sense. Jungkook didn’t have this here for the purpose of maintaining old memories, but for the purpose of constantly reminding himself of what he once was and how he ended up failing, torturing himself to say the least. It’d explain his pent up anger when you first met him, the scar was still fresh.

Grabbing one of the trophies from the memorabilia desk, you observe the glass material and admire its fine detail, Jungkook’s name written in cursive underneath the title. Slowly your fingers graze over it, whispering his name to yourself, “Jeon Ju—”

“What do you think you’re doing?” a voice harshly interrupts, scaring you and causing you to jump. The slippery trophy in your hands falling to floors, several pieces of glass now shattered onto the floor. Turning to face the owner of the voice, your heart stops when you find Jungkook staring at the floor, an expressionless look on his face.

“I—” your brain completely freezes, only staring at his balled up fist which was becoming more red with every passing second.

“I told you—” he closes his eyes, letting out an exasperated breath, “I told you to stay the fuck out of my room,” he finally snaps, his enraged voice echoing across the walls of the room, “So then why, why the fuck are you in here right now!” he moves towards you, his face now becoming red in anger. Not caring whether he was stepping on glass or not.

“I know but—”

He cuts you off, “But fucking what? There’s no reason you should even be in here right now y/n! None!” he screams, his rage only furthering with every word. Tears begin to well up in your eyes as you stammer to defend yourself. “How would you feel like if I barged into your room and destroyed something personal of yours, huh?”  

All you can do is stare at him, never seeing him this enraged before, the sight definitely a scary one, “Answer me goddamit!” he yells, his fist still balled up, holding himself back from punching anything. He looks down at the broken glass one more time, his chest now heaving in anger before storming out the room.

Quickly you follow him, chills going down your spine when you see him turn to your room.

“What are you—” you begin, but it’s too late. Everything happens in slow motion, from the fist being thrown to the sound of the canvas you’d been working so long on cracking, several holes and rips appearing soon after. You look at the scene in front of you in silence, shock running through your veins, and the need to vomit stronger than ever before. Jungkook breathes heavily, staring at what he’s just done, not feeling a single ounce of remorse.

The closing feeling in your throat is one that’s too overwhelming, but the anger you were now feeling was even stronger, “What is wrong with you,” you whisper, tears falling down from your eyes, a look of terror overtaking your face, “What is wrong with you!” you scream, lips trembling as your voice breaks at just how loud you were. Jungkook feels his blood run cold, taken back by your sudden outburst.

“I have been nothing but kind to you since the day we’ve met, nothing but!” you yell, hot tears uncontrollably falling from your hysteria.

Jungkook scoffs, yelling right in return, “Do you want some kind of reward for that? Is that it? Is that all this is? Another ego booster for you so you can pat yourself on the back and say you’re a good person!”

“I don’t need anything from anyone! Especially not from someone like you,” you spit, Jungkook’s jaw clenching at your response.

“Ah I knew that nice ol princess act was nothing more than mere bullshit,” he bitterly laughs, “finally had enough of your whole little treat everyone with kindness moral?” he mocks you.

“It’s not a fucking act, I’m just not a miserable person like you!” you grit your teeth, the temptation to throw something at him at an all time high.

“No you just live in this big old fantasy bubble that’s got you believing that kindness solves all the world's problems!”

“Yeah well it’s better than thinking that being a fucking prick to the rest of the world gets you anywhere, I mean look at where you’re at now!” you yell, knowing you were treading on thin ice, but you didn’t care at all anymore. The ice was shattered the moment he destroyed your painting, “I understand that I made a mistake going into your room, but you don’t have to take the rest of your miserable life out on me! You think everyone around you wants to be some kind of punching bag all the time for you?” the veins in your neck begin to pop out, and you almost feel as if your chest was going to physically explode at any moment, “How dare you come in here and treat everyone around you like complete shit all because you’re living a sad tragic life!”

“That’s not true,” he snarls, a scowl on his face.

“Isn’t it?” you scoff, “You’ve done it since the first day you got here, and so let me do the favor of telling you the truth and giving you a goddamn reality check! We’re all sick and tired of it! Just because you’re miserable doesn’t mean you get to make everyone around you as well! And let me tell you, I’ll be damned if I let someone like you make me just as rotten as yourself,” and for a small second you see the hurt across Jungkook’s face, and you think maybe you’ve gone too far. 

Maybe this could’ve all been prevented had you never entered his room. But then you think to yourself that no, this was bound to happen. This was always going to happen whether you liked it or not. The questions had always just been: when was it going to happen and what was going to be the straw that broke the camel’s back? By now both of your chests are heaving, and there’s a silence that fills the room. Time acts as nothing more than an illusion.

“Is that what you really think?” he says, a cold hardened expression on his face again, “That I make you miserable?” You look at the destroyed painting on the floor, a symbol that despite building and making something so beautiful, all it took was one slip of the finger for it all to go down the drain. Without saying anything, you slowly nod to him, the emptiness in your heart acting as a driving force.

“What the—” Hobi walks in the room, dazed and confused, “What the fuck is going on in here?” He asks, but the two of you remain silent, continuing to stare at one another.

That is until Jungkook breaks away from the stare, muttering a small “nothing,” under his breath, walking out of the room and going back to his own, the door loudly slamming shut.

“Y/N…” Hobi begins, but you cut him off before he even gets the chance, a tiresome expression on your face.

“Hobi,” you shake your head, “Just leave me alone!,” you snap at him, but it comes out more as a plea than a demand, voice completely weary. Hobi stares at you for a moment before doing so, gently closing the door when making his way out. Once you hear the sound of the door close, you squat down to the floor, fingers grazing the painting you’d work so hard on, a muffled sob finally escaping from your lips.

a/n: whew! originally this was supposed to be nothing more than a small drabble, but as i kept writing it just ended becoming this monstrous of a fic that i had to split into two lmao. hopefully i didn’t make the switches between present day and the past too confusing for y’all.  part two will probably be up by next friday, once my finals week is over :)) any messages, anons, comments, reblogs, and like are appreciated! see y’all next time! 💞

[animeomegas]

Omega!Obey Me characters forgetting a mating anniversary

Anon: reactions to their alpha missing an anniversary? or you could switch it and do reactions to realizing they forgot an anniversary. either or !

Anon part 2: hi! i’m the anon from the anniversary request. i was thinking maybe the obey me! fandom? whichever characters you like. my exams are coming to an end so i’m looking forward to spending hours on that app during the summer 😤😤 i hope you’re doing well ! 💕

(Hey hey!! I’m going to do their reactions to forgetting a mating anniversary, because they’ve been alive a long time, I imagine it would happen at least one hehe. Let’s see~)

Warnings: Mention of sex in Asmo’s section

Lucifer – He denies it at first. He can’t have forgotten, he would never forget something so important, you must have the date wrong. His response is very likely to make his alpha either more angry or more upset, and he inadvertently blows the whole thing out of proportion because he struggles to admit that he’s wrong. But when he realises that he is wrong? That he was so caught up in paperwork for Diavolo he did forget? It’s a hard pill to swallow. He would probably buy his alpha some expensive flowers as an apology of sorts, but unless he’s been in a relationship with his alpha for several hundred years, I don’t see him directly apologising. He does feel guilty, but he really finds it hard to articulate. The upside is that it’s extremely unlikely that he’ll ever do it again. He’s checking four times every week at least now that he hasn’t missed any important dates by mistake.

“Our anniversary is next week, my beloved, you must have confused the dates.”

Mammon – Mammon metaphorically shits himself when he realises he forgot an anniversary. His scent is pure, unadulterated panic. His first instinct is to plan an anniversary event that moment. Hell’s Kitchen must still be open right? He tries to pull his alpha with him right that second. If that doesn’t work, he starts to panic that he’s ruined the most important thing in his life. This is when the begging starts. He says sorry about a hundred times, will get on his knees, offer whatever you want as long as you forgive him. Mammon is actually a very compassionate person who doesn’t like upsetting his loved ones, so it’s very hard to stay mad at him. Unfortunately, he’s not great at keeping track of dates, so it might happen again. The best thing to do is organise something together and give him a few reminders when that date’s coming up.

“Oh shit! Er, Hell’s Kitchen is still open right?? I’ll buy you whatever you want, we’ll order one of everything, does that work?”

Leviathan – He almost certainly forgets because of some game event or new releases. And to make everything worse, at first he acts like the game and event was more important than the anniversary and he thinks it’s a legitimate excuse that you can’t argue with. He realises pretty quickly after the event finishes that he’s completely alone because you’re mad at him. He turns to tell you everything about the game but you don’t want to listen to him?? He sulks in his room for a while. What pushes him to apologise is when he sees you hanging out with other people instead of him. He growls away the other person, pulling you into his room and sobbing angrily against you, asking why you love other people more than him. He apologises then, desperate to have his best friend and lover back with him. He might do it again, but he learns pretty quickly to just communicate when he wants to partake in a special gaming event and then he never forgets again.

“W-Why don’t you love m-me, like you l-love him?! I’m sorry, p-please don’t leave!”

Satan – He feels guilty, but he handles it well. He is phenomenal at apology dates. He organises the perfect romantic date, taking into consideration his alpha’s likes and integrating them. If you have a favourite romantic novel, you know he’s going to recreate a date scene with you. If you have a favourite restaurant, he’s booked the best table and ordered a bouquet of your favourite flowers for the centrepiece. It’s very hard to stay mad at Satan, especially because it’s very out of character for him to forget a date so important.

“If you want any more drinks, just let me know. I want you to enjoy this evening as much as possible.”

Asmodeus – He also deals with it fairly well, even if he can’t believe that he forgot! He’s honest and upfront about forgetting and expresses regret. He will definitely try to seduce you as an apology though, offering to let you do whatever you want to him. If that doesn’t work, next step is a joint pampering session! He’s pretty good at conveying a genuine apology without making anything too dramatic. I think it’s unlikely that he would do it again, because he loves, loves, loves anniversaries!!! He genuinely can’t believe that he forgot because he normally plans everything months in advance.

“Oh! I can’t believe that I… Oh dear, here come to my room and let me make it up to you…”

Beelzebub – He’s heartbroken that he forgot! He is so upset. He apologises immediately, looking like he’s on the verge of tears, and he asks you to tell him what he needs to do to make it up to you. He doesn’t offer up solutions, he wants his alpha to pick something, so he knows they’ll enjoy it. The only thing he definitely does immediately, is offer whatever food he’s been saving for them to share with him while they discuss. He will likely ask for advice from some of his brothers, probably Belphie (who doesn’t help) and Asmo (who’s slightly more helpful). He may do it again, but he always tries his hardest to make your anniversaries as special as he can.

“Here, you can have my ice cream… I’m really sorry… What can I do?”

Belphegor – He doesn’t think it’s a big deal that he forgot, because you can both just rearrange it, right? I think it’s pretty unlikely that his alpha takes kindly to that opinion. It takes Belphie a little while to realise that a) he’s in the wrong and b) he needs to apologise. He’s not good at planning, but when he genuinely puts his mind to it, he’s actually pretty good at giving gifts. He buys something you’ve been wanting for a while, he might even put a sticky bow on top if you’re upset enough. He gives you the gift while mumbling apologies. The second you forgive him, he drags you to take a nap with him because he hasn’t been sleeping well since you’ve been mad at him. He’s pretty likely to do it again at least a few times, but he learns not to be such a dick about it eventually.

“Oh, I guess I must have forgot… We can just go tomorrow; I want to take a nap.”

Diavolo – He is gutted that he forgot. He organises the most extravagant apology dinner possible (which is pretty extravagant, because he’s a king, very dramatic, and very in love all at once). He gives a dramatic speech about how there’s no excuse, how he never wants you to think he doesn’t value your relationship etc. At this point, I imagine most people would be begging him to chill out and promising that they already forgave him. Either way, I don’t think it would ever happen again, especially because he tells all of his staff to remember your anniversary and always remind him the week before. He isn’t going to let this happen again.

“My love, I will never forgive myself for hurting you in this way. I will never stop trying to make it up to you, even if it takes me a millennium.”

Barbatos – This would never happen. He is amazing at keeping organisational data in his brain, especially data that means so much to him. Also, he can see the future, so, even if by some miracle he did forget, he would see your future reaction and know in advance that he forgot. Barbatos isn’t perfect, but he’s not one to forget important dates.

Simeon – Simeon is another one who is heartbroken that he’s treated his most beloved one this way. He feels awful. He does tear up a little bit if the relationship is old enough. Simeon makes a huge effort to create some adorable picnic date, cooking baskets and baskets of food and picking the most beautiful park. He brings flowers and bunting and a little cake that he ices with an apology in an unbelievably cute handwriting style. It’s very, very hard not to forgive him when he’s so apologetic and good at making you smile. He goes out of his way to make sure he never upsets his alpha in this way again. 

“My beloved, I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I will seek to make it up to you for as long as you’ll let me.”

Solomon – He doesn’t care that much about anniversaries but he’s not dumb enough (like some other people on this list *cough*) to think that saying that to your face is a good idea. He definitely tries to play it off as though he had something planned all along and that making you think he forgot was part of the plan. He then scrambles to plan things last minute, and he’s quite good at covering up his mistake. If his alpha doesn’t believe him, he makes up for his mistake with expensive and rare gifts. He will find something special for his alpha. A first edition copy of your favourite book or limited edition merchandising of your favourite media, something like that. He knows the excitement will help dull any negative emotions you have towards him. I could definitely see him doing it multiple times, but if his alpha ever expressed genuine hurt long-term about that particular habit, he would readjust his priorities. He’s not a complete asshole after all, he just sometimes has a hard time pulling his head out of said asshole.

“Here, it took me three days to track down someone who had a copy, but I finally found a first edition for you. I hope you will accept this as a token of my apology, my dearest.”

[fanficimagery]

They’re So Not Holograms.

Imagine being expelled from school so your uncle Ray offers to take you in and offers you a chance to start over. You accept and you're in for one heck of a story when you realize you're not the only occupant of the Molina garage.

Words: 10K Warnings: This is my first work for JatP, so I apologize in advance for the OOCness of them all. I had no idea what was going to make the final edit, so yeah.. this is not my best work. Be warned that there's mention of an incident that involves a straight guy not taking no for an answer from a lesbian girl. I won't go into detail of that particular scene since it happened before Y/N shows up on the Molina's front doorstep, but it is mentioned which is why I'm warning you now.

Staring up at the large two story home you usually visit every summer and every spring break, you can't help but sigh and wish you were visiting rather than moving in. You love your uncle and your cousins, but you were forced to leave a lot behind in order for your parents to keep their jobs and their mostly in-tact reputations after your little incident.

The front door opens, the shortest and youngest of the bunch jogging straight for you. You drop your duffel bag and prep yourself for Carlos throwing his weight at you, and you catch him with a laugh as you spin from the momentum. "Carlos! Dang, little man, you're growing fast." Julie walks up soon after, shaking her head in amusement at the two of you as you settle her little brother back on the ground and then ruffle his hair. He swats at your hand before you give Julie your attention then. "Hey, superstar. How's it hanging?"

"Hey, Y/N," she muses, "was the drive okay?"

"Eh. I angry karaoke'd all the way here." You shrug. "So where's uncle Ray?"

"Upstairs trying to figure out how to divide Julie's room for the two of you," Carlos says.

Your smile falls and you look at Julie. "What? He's making us share?"

"Yeah. It's totally fine though," she says when she notices your expression.

"No way, Jules! I can't put you out like that. That's not fair."

"It's fine, Y/N. Really."

"Julie, we're both teenage girls. I love you, but you know our hormones will eventually make us clash."

"And on that note, I'm going back inside."

You grin at Carlos' hasty escape, but then quickly refocus on the situation at hand. "God Jules, I'm so sorry. I thought uncle Ray would put me in the spare room or on the living room couch or something."

"Well the spare room was originally the plan," she says, "but then we remembered all of mom's stuff was in there." You cringe, but she assures you it's okay. "And you're going to be here for a while. You are not sleeping on the couch."

You sigh and offer her a faint smile. "I'm sorry to be an even bigger pain in the butt, but I'm not staying in your room either."

"It's either my room or Carlos' room. I suggest you choose wisely, cousin."

"I-"

"Y/N!" Your uncle Ray suddenly appears in the doorway, walking down the sidewalk towards you. "Carlos told me you had gotten in. How are you doing, mija?" He wraps you in a brief hug, kissing your forehead in greeting.

"Hey, uncle Ray. I'm doing good. How are you?"

"I'd be better if I knew where you were gonna sleep." He sighs. "Carlos also told me we have a bedroom dilemma as you refuse to share with Julie."

"I'm really sorry." You frown. "If I were only staying here for a few weeks, I'd be stoked to share with Julie. But it's not a couple of weeks, uncle Ray."

"I know and I'm sorry for trying to shove two teenage girls into one space." You smile sheepishly at him as he seems to understand your reasoning as well. "But the only other space I can think of is the studio garage out back." You seem to perk up a bit, attention solely focused on your uncle that you don't notice Julie's eyes widening. "Julie uses it to practice with her band, but there's a loft that we've recently cleaned out. There's a bathroom in there already, so all I'd need to do is drag a mattress up there. That is if you don't mind all the musical racket."

"Y-yeah. Of course! I don't mind at all." You say, feeling just an ounce of excitement of having your own space.

"What? No," Julie laughs nervously. "I'm sure Y/N doesn't want to live in our garage all on her own. Right?"

"What? Are you kidding me?" You huff. "It'd be like having my own mini apartment, only my favorite cousin in the entire world gets to visit everyday!"

Julie looks like she wants to object some more, which is surprising, but she eventually slumps and shakes her head. "Okay. Just as long as you're sure."

"Of course I'm sure."

"Then I'll go move stuff around. Give me your duffel bag," she holds her hand out for you to pick up your bag and hand it over, "and I'll take it out back. You go inside and help dad bring the mattress out."

"Sounds like a plan." Feeling better about your situation now, you quickly hand your cousin your duffel bag and then follow after your uncle Ray inside their home.

Julie sighs, shaking her head in amusement as she catches the pep in Y/N's step. As soon as the front door is shut, she quickly runs around the house, down the stone steps, and into the studio garage where the boys are chilling. They, however, jump up to their feet upon seeing Julie's hasty entrance.

"Okay so we have a problem."

"What? What is it? Did your not dad not take the ghost secret well?" Reggie asks, whining. "Aw man. I knew we should have waited. Does he hate us now? He hates me. Right?"

Julie's eyes, having widened at Reggie's rapid fire questions, blink owlishly at him. "One, slow down. And two, no I haven't told my dad. I can't seem to find the right time."

"Okay then," Luke drawls. "So what's the problem?"

"My cousin got expelled from her school so my dad offered to let her move in and she's going to be living in the loft. In here. With you guys."

Alex slowly leans atop the piano, clearly intrigued. "Whoa. What'd she do?"

Julie opens her mouth to answer, but then closes it and settles for a shrug. "I'm not sure. Dad wouldn't tell us when we asked. He just said there was an incident and if Y/N didn't move in with us, then her parents would have to relocate and she already had a rocky relationship with them so.." she says, smiling fondly. "She's better suited for our family anyway. She's more like a sister to me than a cousin."

Reggie raises his hand as if he needs to, to ask a simple question. "Is this cousin of yours hot?" Alex is immediate to reach over and smack his friend. "Ow! What?" He wonders as he rubs his arm. "I'm just asking what me and Luke are thinking."

"Hey, bro, do not bring me into this!" Luke quickly defends himself. He then glances at Julie, lips stretching into a small smile. "You gonna tell her about us?"

"I'm going to have to, aren't I? I can't exactly leave her in the dark while you three are lurking about. I don't want her to do something she doesn't want anyone else to see."

Reggie nods, smiling. "Like getting naked."

Alex moves to hit his friend again, but then realizes Reggie is right. If he were in Julie's cousin's shoes, he wouldn't want to strip while three ghosts watched on unknowingly. Instead he sighs and Julie nods in agreement. "Exactly. I'm going to tell her. I just- I'm not sure when. So until I do, you three need to be on your best behavior."

"Jules," Luke feigns being hurt as he clutches at his chest, "it's us you're talking about. When have we ever misbehaved?" Julie huffs, crosses her arms over her chest, and raises an eyebrow at Luke. His façade cracks as he laughs. "Fine. We'll be on our best behavior until you tell her about her roommates."

"Thank you." She rolls her eyes, but before she can say any more Carlos is jogging into the room.

"Okay so Y/N and dad are almost here. Tell your ghostly dude-bros to chillax and not scare her like Reggie did tía Victoria."

Reggie squawks. "You scare an adult one time and he never lets you forget it."

Julie chuckles at her ghostly friend while her brother glances around in hopes of seeing them. Ever since Julie freed them from Caleb Covington's curse and was able to finally touch them, they had the choice of turning visible whenever they felt like it. But for some reason, they were more comfortable as ghosts and only turned solid when they got the desire to eat food.

The garage door suddenly opens wide and Ray walks in, one end of the mattress settled on the back of his neck. Y/N is on the other end, struggling slightly with the mattress in her hands.

"I am not meant for physical activity."

Carlos giggles at his cousin's words, jogging over to help her. But when they get to the steep stairs, both Y/N and Carlos leave it up to Ray to figure out how he's going to get the mattress up into the loft. He does, eventually, and then Ray drags Carlos back towards the house with him to retrieve sheets, pillows, and a blanket.

"Oh my god. She is cute!" Reggie muses.

Alex chuckles, but Luke is caught staring at Y/N with awe etched into his features. Alex nudges Reggie and gestures to their friend, and Julie tries her best to fight off a grin. Oh to be able to tease him right about now on having a crush on Y/N as he did to her with Nick that one time while she was in school.

"Listen," Y/N says as she nears Julie. "I know this was tía Rose's place and I know how much it means to you." Julie smiles sadly as Y/N starts to walk around, eyeing the piano, drums, bass, and guitar appreciatively. The boys make sure to stay out of her way as they watch her every move. "I promise to keep my place nice and tidy, and to not mess with anything down here." She goes to touch the drum set, but thinks better of it and pulls her hand back as she smiles sheepishly.

Alex is quick to point it out. "I like her! She knows boundaries."

"Just say the word and I'll be out of your way when you're here with the band."

"It's no problem. Really," Julie assures you. "I, uh, I already called the boys to let them know. They're excited to meet you."

You pause and meet your cousin's eyes. "Really? I-I mean cool."

Julie's eyes narrow at your reaction and the way you can't seem to meet her eyes. "You think they're cute, don't you?"

You cave with a relieved sigh of her automatically knowing. "So cute." Alex rolls his eyes with an amused smile as Reggie and Luke high five, chuckling at their good fortune. "But boundaries! They are your bandmates and I won't interfere other than offering my friendship. Heck I won't even let it be known that I find them cute."

Julie chuckles, angling her head down as she tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "It's a little too late for that."

"Hmm? What did you say?"

Her head snaps up. "Nothing! Nothing," her chuckles now sound a little nervous. "So, uh, is there anything else we need to get from your car?"

"Oh yeah! I have some stuff that needs to come in." As Julie joins her cousin's side, Y/N asks, "Is there any place I can set up my laptop and printer?"

"Of course. Come on. Let's get you set up. I'm sure you're ready to get some sleep."

"So ready," you groan. "I don't have much to unpack, but I want to settle in before I start school on Monday."

As the two girl cousins walk out of the studio, the three ghostly boys watch them leave.

"Oh yeah. She's definitely hot."

"Hey. Come on, dude." Luke softly swats at Reggie. "That's Julie's cousin you're talking about."

"What? I'm just stating facts," Reggie says. "And besides it's you we should be worried about." He steps towards Luke, reaching for his face. "I think I still see a bit of drool. You might wanna wipe that off."

Alex laughs as Luke rolls his eyes. "Whatever. We're ghosts anyway. It's not like anything can happen between us."

"Can't it?" Alex muses, shoving his hands deep into his front pockets. "I mean we can turn solid now. If you want something to happen, it can definitely happen." Reggie smirks as Luke takes a moment to process his friend's words. "And while you think on that, I'm gonna go see what Willie's up to. See you later!"

Alex poofs out of the room, leaving Reggie and Luke. Reggie laughs at his friend's sudden ghostly crisis, stepping closer to him and clasping his shoulder in hand. "Dude, we're ghosts. If something happens, it happens. Just don't get attached." And with that, Reggie poofs out too.

Luke hears Julie and her cousin's laughter ring out, the two girls already coming back. His eyes widen and he poofs out as well. The girl was cute, he will admit that, but he needed to get his head on straight before he became a pining ghost.

You spend the weekend with Julie, surprising her best friend Flynn with your new living situation and then driving them around since neither of them had their driving permit. The girls had kept you busy at the beach and showing you their favorite food places. Sometimes you would catch your cousin mumbling to thin air, but Flynn was quick to distract you and you ended up forgetting Julie's weird behavior minutes later.

Monday morning rolls around and, after taking your time to get ready, you grab your backpack and exit the studio to head inside the house. Uncle Ray has cooked up a breakfast feast, and Julie and Carlos are just coming down the stairs as you're taking a seat at the table.

You smile through a yawn as a plate is placed in front of you. "Whoa. That was a big one," uncle Ray says. "Did you sleep well?"

"Sorry. And yeah," you say. "I love it out there, although it is a bit colder than I expected."

Julie freezes as Carlos snorts. "Sorry about that. It's just our resident ghosts. Ow!"

You frown as he glares at his sister, said sister laughing nervously as she glances between you and Carlos. "Don't listen to him. Ghosts? Pft. What ghosts?"

Ray chuckles as Carlos rolls his eyes, the young boy digging into his eggs and sausage as Julie quickly casts him a brief glare.

You glance between the siblings suspiciously, but don't give it much thought and start in on your own breakfast. "Well if you need a portable heater, we can get you one."

Carlos opens his mouth to retort, but upon seeing his sister's stare he thinks better about it. You fight off a smile, shaking your head at your uncle. "It's fine. I usually kick my blanket off in the middle of the night which is why I get cold when a gust of cool air hits me. I just need to learn not to kick off the blankets. I'll be fine."

"Alright. Well eat up, guys. I need to head into the office as soon as I drop you off."

Carlos nods, but you and Julie frown at him. She looks at you and you look at her, and then you look at your uncle. "Um, uncle Ray, did you forget I drive? I can take Carlos with Julie and I. We were going to pick up Flynn as well."

"Huh. I forgot you drove." You grin up at him. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. From what I saw, Carlos' school campus is on our way to the high school. It'll be fine."

Uncle Ray seems to sag with relief. "Thanks so much, mija. I can actually head in early today then." Carlos cheers about riding with his cousin instead of being dropped off by his dad. "Well if you're all set, I'll see you guys after school. We'll go out for burgers tonight."

This time it's your turn to cheer. "Yes!"

          - - - - - - - - - - 

The first day of school went about as expected. Everyone was drawn to you as the new girl and Flynn thrived under the attention, but you mostly kept to yourself unless Julie introduced you to someone. You met Nick and thought he was okay, and then hid your amusement when Flynn would tease Julie about him breaking up with his girlfriend Carrie for her.

Of course not everyone was a fan of your cousin and you met the one person who seemed to dislike her the most. You knew Carrie from previous summers, but she and Julie had a falling out and no one would mention why. Not even Flynn. So figuring it was none of your business, you let it go but ended up staring Carrie down when she tried to intimidate you. Needless to say, the junior had nothing on you and didn't seem keen to start anything with a senior after your feathers didn't ruffle as easily as she thought.

Julie had more homework than you, so while she focused inside the house at the kitchen table, you went to the studio and up into your loft. The second you plop down onto the bed, a cold gust of wind sweeps up your back. You shiver, frowning, but then move on with a shake of your head.

From your backpack you pull out your Algebra II and History textbooks. You immediately start working on history, reading the assigned passages and answering the questions that follow. It takes you half an hour to complete it and before you move on to Math you reach over and grab your laptop from the bedside table. However when you open it up, your laptop automatically comes to life and you're left frowning at the YouTube page it's been left on.

"What the.. this is weird," you mumble. You briefly glance at the top Rock songs from the last decade before exiting out of YouTube and bringing up iTunes, choosing your Math Blows playlist and closing your eyes in brief bliss as Queen starts to play.

But the moment Bohemian Rhapsody ends and Aerosmith's Dude (Looks Like a Lady) begins, you get started on Math. It takes you a little bit longer to complete the assignment than History took you, but by the time you're done Julie has yet to find you. So after putting everything back into your backpack and setting it aside, you roll across your bed and reach into a hard plastic tote that holds some of your belongings. You pull out your drawing tablet and a stack of stickers, and then head on downstairs to the couch.

Drawing caricatures was a hobby of yours and you just so happened to have a friend who would take your edits and turn them into stickers. For now you have about five stickers of each member of your cousin's band- caricature style- and the name of whatever instrument they played curved underneath their faces. Lately you've been working on a sticker that said 'Julie and the Phantoms', but you couldn't get the font or coloring quite right.

You've just settled on coloring Julie's name in a purple that transitions into blue from one end to the other when said girl walks in, sodas in hand. "Finally," she sighs. "I didn't think I'd ever finish that homework. What are you doing?" She then asks as she hands over a Coke.

"I'm just messing around," you tell her as you show her what's on the tablet. "There's a small stack of stickers for you and the boys right there."

Julie glances at the table where you've gestured to and she walks over to pick up the stickers. She sets her soda down and skims through each sticker, a smile blossoming. "Did you- did you make these?"

You shrug. "I drew them, but my friend printed them. As soon as I finish this one I'm working on right now, I'm gonna email it to him so he'll make them into stickers as well."

Your cousin is so in awe that she's not paying you any attention, but you catch her murmuring beneath her breath and nodding along as if she were agreeing with something being said. She eventually looks up, chuckling. "These are sick. The boys are going to love them."

You smile. "I hope so. If you want more, just let me know. They're pretty cheap to make so I don't mind getting them for you guys."

"Can I- can I make a suggestion to the one you're working on now?"

"Oh. Yeah! Of course. What'd you have in mind?"

"Under the band name or wherever you think is good, can you add the words 'tell your friends!'?" She asks. "It's just something silly Reggie says every time the band is introduced."

"Yeah." You glance down at the tablet, trying to figure out the best placement. But then you look up, brow furrowed in thought. "Is this something only Reggie says?"

"Uh yeah. I guess so," she says, shaking her head at something off to her side.

You grin. "I have an idea. Let me try something out and see if you like it. Give me like ten minutes."

Julie sets the stickers back down, picking up her soda and cracking it open. You crack open yours as well, taking a sip before getting down to work. You make the sticker you originally had a little bit smaller, adding in a caricature of a waving Reggie from the waist up peeking out from behind the font. You add a speech bubble, filling it in with the requested 'Tell your friends!'.

When Julie sees it she can't help but laugh. "That's perfect. I'm sure he's gonna be stoked."

"Speaking of, when do I get to meet these hot friends of yours?"

Julie groans and you laugh as you finish coloring and resizing the sticker before sending it off to your friend to print. Closing your tablet, you give her your full attention as she's now sitting next to you on the couch. "Soon," she promises.

"Alright. So what are we doing until your dad gets home? You gonna sing for me, Jules? Give me my own private concert?"

She laughs. "No way. Just watch the Youtube videos. I'm sure Carlos posted every performance."

"Oh he did. And believe me when I say I've watched them. Repeatedly. That guitarist of yours has got some arms that are just- mmm." Julie groans some more, hiding her face in a pillow, and you laugh. "What? I need to get it out of my system before I meet them."

Julie lets the pillow fall into her lap, a smile turning up the corners of her mouth. "All I'm gonna say is don't be surprised if they know what you've said. They kind of have a sixth sense about these things."

"It's all good." You laugh some more.

You go to ask her if she wants to torment her little brother with you, but you see her amusement slowly die and you keep yourself from saying anything. "Hey Y/N, can I ask you something? You totally don't have to answer, but I'm really curious about it."

"Oh. Uh, sure."

"What happened at your old school that ended with you being expelled?"

Your smile falls. "Uncle Ray didn't tell you?"

"Not really. He just said there was a disagreement and a.. protest?"

You snort. It takes you a moment to collect your thoughts, but when you do you end up telling her exactly what happened. "I had this friend back at my old school. She's gay, but only those close to her knew. What it boiled down to was that some asshole found out and outed her to our entire school. Then this boy took things too far by, in his words, giving her what she was missing out on and trying to turn her straight." You roll your eyes, not noticing Julie smiling sympathetically off to the side. "He shoved his tongue down her throat, she tried to push him off of her, but he wouldn't budge. So I beat the shit out of him."

Julie chokes on her own saliva. "W-what?" And then she laughs.

"Well I hit him across the back of the head with one of those hard plastic lunch trays. And then when that broke I used the heaviest textbook I could get my hands on and hit him a few more times."

"Oh my god," she grins. "You're such a badass."

You laugh at your cousin's look of awe. "There was like a week of back and forth between the school and that douchebag's parents, and it made everyone at school show their true colors. I was disgusted that the guy practically got off with a slap on the wrist for assaulting my friend, so I contacted a few friends to make some signs for a mini-protest in front of the school and it kind of got out of control. A few friends turned into thirty and I think there were even a few drag queens in there. They had signs and Pride flags and it- it got pretty scary for a second when a fight almost broke out."

"I repeat," Julie smirks, "you're a badass."

"I was expelled because my protest drew in adult strangers to where many minor children attend school, but the expulsion wouldn't have mattered anyway because I had a restraining order slapped against me by that douchebag's parents and would have had to leave anyway."

"Screw them," Julie says. "That's so messed up."

"It is, but it worked out in my favor. I got out of my parents house and now get to spend the rest of my last year of high school with you."

"And your 18th birthday. You can't forget that," she muses. "It's only a few months away."

Your nose wrinkles. "No parties."

"But it's New Year's! Of course we're having a party," she gushes. "Your birthday is a rare one. Instead of blowing out a candle at midnight, you get to make out with someone."

Laughing, you reach over to nudge her. "You're something else, Jules. I don't know how you have your dad fooled about being so sweet and innocent." She giggles, batting her eyelashes at you. "Now come on. Lets go torment Carlos. It's been about a year since I've sat on him and made him listen to Barbie Girl on a loop."

You stand up, Julie laughing as you offer her a hand and pull her up off the couch.

By the end of your first week with the Molinas, you've settled into a routine that you're comfortable with. You had noticed Julie got a little squirrely whenever you mentioned the boys, so you dropped the subject of meeting them and figured it'd happen when the timing was right. Julie's tía Victoria was happy to have you around the family, she noticing a lightness around the house that she hadn't seen since her sister had passed.

Life with your cousins was going spectacularly well, so of course there had to be a bump in the road. And a major one at that.

You're sleeping when cold air suddenly seeps into your back, making you shiver and wake up briefly. You find your blanket and pull up over your shoulders, turning around in the process and.. rolling into something- er, someone solid. You're fully awake now.

"Ahh!" You scream.

The figure in bed with you jolts, screaming as well. "Ahh!"

"Who the hell are you?!" You move to punch at them, only for them to disappear right before your very eyes. You freeze as your heart drops into your stomach, your eyes blowing wide when he reappears at the foot of your bed. "What the- how did-"

Another figure pops in, grabbing the first by his ear. "Dude, not cool!"

Your sudden fear has you frozen and only capable of glancing between the two figures. Semi-slicked hair, leather jacket, flannel wrapped around his waist.. "R-Reggie?" You wonder aloud in confusion.

Both boys glance at you, the shaggy hair and killer arms in a cut off tee letting you know exactly who he was. You hold your blanket tighter to you, heart thumping wildly. Reggie grimaces in pain as he finally pulls free from Luke's hold. "Hiya. Sorry about waking you and all that. I totally should have asked before taking up the other side of your bed."

Luke shakes his head. "When Jules finds out she's going to kick your butt, man. We were supposed to ease her into the whole ghost business."

"G-ghost?"

Another figure pops in, the blonde sighing and shaking his head in disappointment at his friends. Alex. "I woke Julie. She'll be down here soon." Then he glances at you, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry about all this. Reggie and Luke are idiots."

"Can you blame me?" Reggie whines. "Y/N's bed is really comfortable. And I actually thought she'd just roll through me. I didn't know I'd gone solid. It was unintentional."

"Um," you gulp. "H-how would you know my bed was comfortable?" Reggie freezes and then suddenly looks very interested in the ceiling, and your eyes narrow at him. You sit up a little straighter, staring at Luke, but he too averts his gaze when he notices you're staring at him.

Alex is the only one amused and he meets your gaze with a smile. "These two idiots like to nap in your bed when you're in school."

"WHAT!?" The two guilty ghosts poof out, making you flinch as you suddenly remember they're not exactly normal boys.

"I told them it was going to bite them in the butts. I guess they hadn't counted on it being so soon." You blink owlishly at him, unsure of what to say now. After all, HE'S A GHOST! Alex notices your stare and sighs. "Well if you'd like to get dressed or whatever, Julie should be here any second now. We'll explain things then."

Alex poofs out and you're left staring at nothing but air. Your heart is still wildly thumping and there are only three words running through your mind: what.. the.. fuck.

After what seems like several long minutes, but really it was only about a minute after the boys had left you alone, the studio door opens and a frantic Julie rushes in. At the sound of her panicked voice, you throw off your blanket and scramble down the stairs.

Julie stares at you in shock, still in her own pajamas, before her gaze falls towards your legs and then back up to your own gaze. "Uh, Y/N? You forgetting something?" You glance down, frowning and wondering what she's talking about. "Pants, loser. You forgot pants."

"Yeah? And you forgot to tell me that ghosts are real!" She sighs as you stare her down, but then you subtly glance around for a pair of pants or shorts or something. Black sweats hit your shoulder and you meet Alex's sheepish gaze. Hesitantly smiling at him, you quickly step into them and drag them up your legs. "If they've been in here this whole time it's nothing they haven't seen before."

Reggie giggles and Alex shakes his head at friend. Luke, however, can't seem to look in your direction and there's a telltale flush on his cheeks. Huh, that's odd.

"I'm really sorry," Julie says. "I was going to tell you, but it was never the right time."

"Jules, the right time would have been when uncle Ray gave me permission to sleep out here."

She frowns guiltily at you and you know you're not really upset with her. The adrenaline of bumping into someone in your bed was still rushing through your veins which is why you seem a bit cranky. "If it'll help we can explain everything now?"

"Might as well," you sigh. "I don't think I'll be able to fall back asleep." You shuffle over towards the couch, eyeing each boy on the way. Sitting down, you drag a pillow into your lap and hug it. "So.. what the hell is going on?"

Your cousin and the boys glance at one another, Reggie and Luke subtly shaking their heads. Alex rolls his eyes and steps forward to stand with Julie. It looked like they were going to be the ones to explain.

"Okay, so," Alex says. "Luke, Reggie, and I died twenty five years ago."

Immediately your hand raises and Alex falls silent. "Quick question. If you guys are supposedly ghosts, then why was I able to actually feel Reggie?"

"That part comes in later. Just please listen," Julie pleads.

You nod, gesturing for them to continue then. Alex flashes you a small smile. "So we died-"

"Death by hotdog," Reggie sadly muses.

Luke nods along. "I'll never look at another hotdog the same way again."

You can't help but snort, especially when Alex and Julie roll their eyes at the interruption. "Anyway, as I was saying," Alex says, raising his voice a little higher, "we died. We ended up in this dark room for what felt like an hour and then got spit out here in Julie's garage when she played one of our demo CD's."

"Only it wasn't an hour later," Julie says next. "It was twenty five years later." You shake your head in utter amazement. "At first I was the only one able to see them. Then when I had a performance at school and the boys performed behind me in solidarity, they could- they could be seen! The entire school could see them, but then as soon as the performance was over they poofed out."

"Hence the phantom part of the band name," you mumble.

"We let everyone believe we're holograms," Alex says. "Anyway, we used to be a band of four before we died. Sunset Curve. The only one to survive went on and skyrocketed to fame with songs that Luke wrote."

"He didn't!?" Your eyes widen. You glance at Luke to see him frowning. "What a dick thing to do."

The boys all snort, but a moment later Alex continues to tell their story. "We were pissed and ended up being introduced to this ghost who was supposed to help us get revenge on our ex-band mate. Only this ghost was old and powerful and wanted us to join his ghostly club house band."

"And when he noticed we weren't going to join him, he stamped us with a curse," Luke finally speaks up. "The longer we were away from his club, we got hit with these painful jolts. They started to become more frequent and would have eventually destroyed our souls."

"But our girl Julie," Reggie muses, "cried her big heart out and, we're not sure exactly how, was able to touch us. Her touch made us feel stronger, warmer, and it disappeared the stamps off our wrists."

"And now I have three ghostly brothers who can go corporeal whenever they feel like it," Julie says as she hooks her arm through Alex's. You grin at her. "I really am sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

You wave her off. "At least the truth came out before I was in a rush to go somewhere and whipped off my shirt. I'd have hated to traumatize the boys."

"Oh please traumatize me." The words are mumbled, but still heard by everyone. Every gaze darts to, surprisingly, Luke and his eyes widen as cheeks redden. "Did I- did I say that out loud?"

Reggie snorts. "You did."

"Well I- I didn't mean-" Luke rubs at the back of his neck, falling silent and then poofing out.

The second Luke is gone, everyone bursts into laughter. You laugh so much that tears gather in the corner of your eyes and Julie is hanging off of Alex's arm. Reggie is the first to recover and mentions going to check on his boy, and then it was just Alex with you and Julie.

You eventually stand up, intent on doing something now that you've had this big secret dropped into your lap, when Alex takes a step in your direction. He pauses and you quirk an eyebrow at him. "Can I just say thanks for being so cool about this? I mean you could have ran inside the house and alerted everyone like Julie first did-"

"Hey! Not cool." Said girl pouts, swatting Alex with the back of her hand.

"-but you didn't. Sure you freaked, but I would too if I woke up next to Reggie."

You chuckle softly. "You guys are just lucky I hate physical activity and loathe running." Alex grins at you. "Plus I guess your secret is pretty cool. I'm okay living with ghosts so long as no ghosts occupy my bed while I'm still in it."

"Noted. I'll be sure to let the boys know."

"Thanks." As soon as Alex poofs out, your chill façade drops. "Oh my god, Julie!" You hiss. "They're ghosts!"

Her smile falters. "Uh, yeah."

"They're ghosts who heard me talking about how cute they were and about Luke's arms!"

"Oh yeah." She chuckles. "Well if it's any consolation, Luke is clearly into you. He totally wants you to traumatize him with your boobs."

"It's not funny!"

She fights to contain her amusement. "It kind of is."

"Ugh. Julie," you groan. "This is so embarrassing."

"Relax. They'll probably poke fun for a few days before letting it slide. Just give them a chance, Y/N. They're really cool guys."

"God I hope you're right."

Now that the secret is out, the boys are corporeal more often than not inside the studio. Reggie and Luke take pleasure in teasing you, the two of them bringing up stuff you said about them when they were invisible or drawing attention to Luke's arms or Luke somehow suddenly needing to change to his shirt while in your presence. You made promises to get him back- to which Alex couldn't wait for to see what you came up with- but you've yet to fulfill that promise because there were more pressing matters at hand.

You're more than okay with keeping their secret, but it's only a matter of time before uncle Ray catches them. They like interacting with you, Flynn, and Carlos so they're visible quite a lot, but anytime uncle Ray nears it's a race to clean up any evidence of their presence and then poof out. You manage to convince Julie to tell her dad with promises that you'd be by her side the entire time, so she does. It had seemed uncle Ray was moments away from asking if she needed to see her therapist again when Reggie poofed in, followed by the other two boys who slapped him upside the head for doing so. Needless to say, Ray was shocked to his core but accepted the boys after seeing them interact with his two children and yourself. However, it was agreed by all that tía Victoria could not know the secret.

One day you had gone shopping for a couple new outfits with the girls and figured it was now or never to get Luke back. Sure they had seen you in an overly large shirt and boy short underwear, but they'd never seen you in proper lingerie. And when Flynn and Julie had caught on, they helped you choose the most daring piece of underwear to stun the ghost boy from the 90's.

When you get back to the studio, Julie pokes her head in first since she was the only one capable of seeing them when they were invisible. "Alex, where's Luke and Reggie?"

"They mentioned going down to the beach. Why?"

You and Flynn stumble in then, giggling. "It's payback time, my favorite ghostie. Your boy is not gonna know what hit him."

Alex's eyes light up. "Yes. What did you have in mind?"

"Two words," Flynn says. "Victoria's Secret."

"Oh no. You're gonna kill him all over again."

You mockingly glare at him. "He caught me ogling his v-line, Alex! He deserves to see exactly what I'm working with and not be able to touch."

He grins. "Can I see what you chose?"

"Duh. I need you to choose which set is going to make him lose his mind."

Walking over towards Alex, you set the bags down and sit on the couch beside him. Julie and Flynn sit on the armrests, eagerly waiting for you to dig out your purchases. And when you do, Alex's eyes widen before he bursts into laughter.

There are three identical sets of bras, panties, and garter belts in the colors of black, navy blue, and emerald green. You giggle as Alex takes choosing seriously, he picking up an article in each color and holding it to your arm. He hums in thought.

"In my opinion the blue suits your skin tone best, but I'd still go with the green."

You take it, carefully cutting tags off. "And this is why I love you. You're the best."

"Mhm. So how do you plan to have him see you in this?"

"I actually have an interview with the people uncle Ray works with in two days. I might not be able to take pictures, but I am good with all the technology stuff," you say. "I can pretend the straps to the belt are aggravating me and walk out to ask for your help."

Alex giggles. "You're evil."

"He started it." You shrug. "And besides, lingerie is such a confidence booster. You guys have no idea," you chuckle.

And then two days later you finally put your plan into motion. Flynn was bummed she couldn't be there, but Julie managed to be in the studio for your surprise after having pulled Luke into an impromptu writing session. Reggie, after having been given permission to use your laptop whenever he wanted, was watching Youtube videos, and Alex was flipping through a magazine not too far from his friend where he constantly glanced at the bathroom door rather anxiously.

Not too long after you enter the bathroom in a rush, you having screeched about being behind schedule for your meeting on the way in there, you start making a racket and cursing just loud enough to be heard outside the door. Outside, Alex does his best to fight off a grin.

Inside the bathroom, you've slipped into the emerald green lingerie, black garter belt, and black stockings. Both bra and panties are lace, giving the illusion of being sheer, but your important bits are still covered which is why you're more than okay walking out in this particular set. You spritz some body spray over your cleavage and abdomen, grinning when you see yourself sparkling as you move, and then quickly clip your garter belt to the tops of your stockings. However, for the clips in the back, you purposely twist the straps when you clip them on.

You curse some more to make everyone outside believe you're having some sort of problem, groaning for good measure, and then crack open the bathroom door to stick your head out. "Hey Jules, can you give me a hand?" You ask, already knowing what she's going to say.

"Mmm," she mumbles distractedly, writing in her notebook.

Luke glances between you and Julie, Reggie has clearly paused his video to see what's going on, and Alex takes his cue. "I can help," he calls out as he tosses his magazine aside. "What do you need?"

You frown at your cousin when she purposely doesn't look at you before looking at Alex, inhaling deeply before you straighten up and open the door wider. Given his position, Reggie is the first to take notice of your outfit and whimpers. Audibly. Julie and Luke look up then, Julie hiding her smile and Luke's eyes widening as his jaw drops open in shock.

"I'll do it! I can help you," Reggie blurts, cheeks red. He gulps. "What exactly is it you need help with?"

Walking towards Alex, you mockingly glare at Reggie and then ruffle his hair on your way to his blonde friend. You stop in front of him, turning around and then glancing over your shoulder at him. "The garter belt," you say. "I keep getting the straps twisted."

"On it." You see a smile threatening to break free as he immediately takes hold of the clasps and rights the wrong, and you turn around so you don't lose it yourself.

Only when you face forward, you can't help but snort at Reggie's awestruck expression and the fact that Luke is faring no better. But Luke is the one who seems to know almost immediately what you're playing at and his eyes narrow when his gaze finally meets your own. However, before he can call you out on your act, there's a distinct snap!, a brief stinging pain on the back of your thigh, and you whirl around on Alex.

"Hey!"

"I'm sorry," he laughs, immediately sitting back and out of range of your swatting swing. "I couldn't help myself."

You shake your head in amusement before making sure the strap isn't twisted anymore and then make your way back towards the bathroom. It's oddly quiet as you finish getting dressed behind the bathroom door, and then exit in a cream-colored blouse tucked inside a black pencil skirt. Julie wolf whistles when you exit and you wrinkle your nose at her as you head towards your heels to slip your feet into.

Once your heels are on and you run your fingers through your hair to give it a very stylish, mussed look, you can't help but meet Luke's gaze. When you notice his slackened expression, you wink and finally allow yourself to laugh.

Red rushes to his cheeks as he narrows his eyes at you. "You're the devil."

"And don't you forget it," you immediately retort. "Keep it up, Patterson. I won't play fair and I promise my next look will drive you to take a cold shower." Alex finally loses the battle with his laughter, as does Julie, and Luke frowns at you. "Now that I've pranced around half naked, it's time I get to my interview. Wish me luck?"

"Luck!" Julie immediately shouts. As soon as Y/N disappears, there's a telltale beep and Julie lowers her phone. She glances between Luke and Reggie, shaking her head and chuckling. "God you straight boys are so easily distracted. Flynn's going to be so mad she missed this."

Luke points to where Y/N disappeared, stammering over his words before he finally gets proper hold of his thoughts. "She doesn't play fair!"

After what you would have called a successful interview, you went back to the studio where you found Luke all alone. You ended up calling a truce with him, but that ended up being a terrible decision on your part. Because interacting with a Luke who was as genuine as can be without the flirtatious behavior or teasing, well it turned out you found yourself liking the boy a little more than you should.

When Halloween came you found yourself dressing up alongside Flynn and Julie. Normally you'd have gone for something sexy, but after parading around half naked and knowing uncle Ray would not appreciate his underage daughter showing off too much skin, you settled for something that would make everyone laugh. You, Julie, and Flynn agreed to dress up as the boys, but you couldn't take their clothes until the day of. So when Halloween morning rolled around, Carlos and uncle Ray kept the boys busy while you and the girls raided their stash of clothes in the studio.

Julie took Alex's pink Champion hoodie and a snapback to shove down backwards atop her curls, Flynn wore Reggie's leather jacket atop a plain tee and wrapped a red flannel around her waist, and you took Luke's white Rush shirt with its cut off sleeves and a blue hoodie that also had it's sleeves cut off. You had giggled with each other when you all saw the final outcome and even took a few pictures to post to your personal Instagrams.

Then when the boys finally came in, it took them a moment to realize what they were seeing and it only clicked when you stepped forward and said, "Hey! We're Sunset Curve."

And then Flynn stepped forward, shooting finger guns at the boys. "Tell your friends."

Julie snorted and the boys burst into laughter, and then you took even more pictures with the boys- only when they were posted online you captioned them that you were the Phantoms from Julie and the Phantoms. Then when all was said and done, the six of you took Carlos trick-or-treating around the neighborhood while uncle Ray and tía Victoria cooked up a Halloween feast.

Thanksgiving and Christmas were emotional holidays for quite a few of you. The boys for obvious reasons- they being dead and not able to spend time with their loved ones- and you because while your parents could be more decent, you loved them all the same and wished the circumstances between you were different. But uncle Ray was understanding and made sure everyone had more than enough food and presents, and the night ended with everyone under the age of twenty falling asleep in the living room after admiring all their new belongings.

New Year's Eve rolls around and you're excited for two reasons- one being because of the fireworks that will no doubt go off at midnight and because at that exact same moment you'll be turning 18. Everyone expected you wanted a big party, but you surprised them all when you said all you wanted invited was everyone in the Molina household + studio, Flynn, and tía Victoria. You just wanted to have karaoke and a jam session, and some fireworks. You didn't want to make a big deal out of it.

The morning of New Year's Eve, you're woken up by Reggie bouncing on your mattress. But instead of being grouchy about it, you laugh and then yelp when Luke and Alex poof in to pop confetti poppers above you. You sit up, keeping the blanket across your lap as you shake your hair free of the shimmering mess.

"Happy birthday," Alex says, sitting down beside you and hugging you. "Ray said to be inside in twenty minutes. He's got a whole breakfast spread planned."

"Technically it's not my birthday yet, but thank you very much. I'll be inside as soon as possible."

Alex beams before Reggie takes his place, he leaning in and kissing your cheek with a loud smack. You giggle and accept his hug. "Happy birthday, my beautiful living friend. You don't look a day over 30."

You snort and then shove at his shoulder. "Shut up and get out. You don't get to be mean to the birthday girl."

"I thought it technically wasn't your birthday?" He winks at you. "Now hurry up. We can't eat until you do." And then with one last grin, Reggie poofs out.

Sighing happily, you stare up at Luke then. He grins as he readily lowers himself onto your mattress, laying on his stomach and keeping his expression directed at you. "Are you ready for tonight?"

"Am I ready to be a year older? Not really," you say. "But I am ready for some sparklers."

He chuckles. "Age is just a number, Y/N."

"Says the ghost who's forever 17," you mumble.

"Do you want me to find you a rancid hotdog? Because I will. Then the two of us will forever be 17."

"You're such an idiot." You can't stop grinning, especially when he mentions the way he died. It was terrible they died, but absolutely hilarious that it was death by hotdog for them. "I still don't understand how you didn't notice the weenie was bad. Rancid meat smells disgusting and you ate it!"

"In our defense we thought the smell was coming from the trash in the alley." You can only shake your head at him. "And we were still riding the rush of sound check inside the Orpheum."

"Your idiocy amazes me," you deadpan. "Now go on. I need to put on pants and brush my teeth. I'll meet you inside."

"Oh now you want to be all shy about walking around in your underwear." Luke playfully rolls his eyes. "Okay."

"You know what? I was being considerate so my near nudity didn't turn you into a stammering fool, but now I think I'll just do it." You grab your blanket to throw it off of you, but Luke quickly scrambles up and off your bed.

"Okay. Okay! I'll see you inside."

As soon as Luke poofs out, you grin to yourself like an idiot. The tension between the two of you was obvious from the beginning and it's still there even after you called a truce. You giddily get up and head on downstairs, making your way towards the bathroom to freshen up before heading inside. But as you're brushing your teeth, you realize you can't stop thinking about Luke. Which is kind of a bad thing. For you.

Everyone who has eyes can see the way Luke looks at you and the way you look at him, but given he's a ghost and you're very much alive you've agreed that nothing can happen between the two of you. Not just because of his ghostly status, but because of his status as Julie's bandmate- which is another problem they need a solution for but they won't worry about it until they have a record deal in their clutches. After then, they'll worry about revisiting the boys' family they had left behind when they died.

Quickly fixing your hair, you pull on a pair of leggings afterward and start making your way out of the studio. You sigh and come to the conclusion that for now you'd just enjoy the company of a cute ghost. You can totally get over the silly crush in no time.

          - - - - - - - - - -

As you're getting ready for the night, you're surprised there's a knock on the floor of the loft right before Luke's head pops up by the stairs. "Is it okay if I come on up?"

"Yeah. Of course," you say. You grab your boots before sitting on the edge of your mattress, slipping your feet inside of them and start lacing up. Luke stands off to the side, a little sheepishly, and you grin at him. "Something up? You're too quiet."

"Yeah. No, I'm good." He chuckles a little nervously and then finally moves to take a seat next to you. When he's seated, you nudge him with your shoulder to get him to lighten up. "I just- we got you a present and I've been nominated to hand it over."

"A present? From who?"

"Well it was originally from Ray, Jules, and Carlos," he says, "but when us ghosties wanted to get you something too, it kind of turned into a joint gift from all of us." Luke reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box. You quirk an eyebrow at him as he hands the it over and immediately lift the lid. You coo at the silver charm bracelet inside and then lift it to examine the charms. "Ray, Julie, and Carlos had the laptop, dahlia, and lightning bolt charms already on there, but then we went back to the mall and had a microphone, a guitar, a bass, and drum sticks added to it."

"This is perfect. Help me put it on?"

You manage to unclasp the bracelet to slip it onto your right wrist and then Luke is scooting even closer to you so he can clasp it correctly. When he does, you twist your wrist back and forth so the charms jingle and fall correctly in place. Then you glance up at the same time Luke does, noses inches apart, and it's like both your breathing ceases.

Both your gazes seem to dart down to each other's lips and then you're jerking back while shakily inhaling. "You're trouble, Luke Patterson."

He smirks. "Fun trouble. You should try me sometime."

You can't believe the nerve of this ghost, so you roll your eyes, grin, and then climb to your feet. "Whatever you say, ghost boy. Now let's go. Tía Victoria was making me menudo for my birthday dinner."

Everyone at the Molina household is exactly who you wanted there and you get a kick out of watching the ghost boys attempt the menudo, watching the way they freeze when it's explained what exactly is in the menudo. Alex and Luke had slowly swallowed what was in their mouth before proclaiming they were full, but Reggie shrugged it off and kept on eating.

Outside uncle Ray grilled up some burgers and hotdogs for those who weren't fans of the menudo, and Julie had brought out bags of sparklers. You, Flynn, and Alex wasted no time in sparking some sparklers up while Reggie, Luke, and Carlos grabbed ahold of some small cannons to shoot off into the quickly darkening sky.

Many laughs are had, running amok in the streets with sparklers, and many pictures are taken. Your favorite, by far, had to have been when Carlos accidentally caught Reggie's flannel on fire and he stopped, dropped, and rolled in the street. You, Flynn, and Julie were never going to let him forget that terrified expression of his.

But then there's only five minutes to midnight, uncle Ray and Carlos are carrying several large firework boxes into the middle of the street and hurriedly untangling some wires, and a birthday sash is being draped over your head by Julie.

Seeing your uncle Ray and Carlos space out large boxes have drawn some of the neighbors to see what no doubt is going to a firework display, and you excitedly wait several feet away from the impending commotion.

Suddenly tía Victoria starts a countdown from twenty, Flynn hands out party horns, and everyone excitedly joins in.

"FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE. HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

You blow your party horn, laughing when you spot Reggie jumping on Alex and Luke's backs in excitement. Uncle Ray hits a button in hand and the first box shoots off it's first firework. The explosions of white, gold, pink, blue, purple, and green has everyone making happy remarks, and you watch on, not noticing everyone pairing off to watch the show (Alex and Reggie, tía Victoria and Carlos, and Julie and Flynn).

You're smiling up at an explosion of white crackles that chase each other across the sky when two arms wrap around your neck from behind and a body presses up close behind yours. You chuckle as your hands come up to grab onto a forearm and you briefly glance over your shoulder. It's Luke.

As you go back to watching your uncle put on a spectacular firework display, you feel warm breath fan across your ear. "Happy birthday, Y/N," Luke murmurs.

"Thank you." You smile brightly even though he can't see it and then glance over your shoulder once more, holding his gaze as your faces are literally an inch apart. "Happy New Year, Luke."

He beams at you and against your will your gaze darts to his lips. Your mind is whirling and you know everything about you and Luke is a bad idea, but you just can't help yourself. And apparently neither can he.

Luke is the one to close the distance, softly pressing his lips to yours. You smile against his lips, giggling some before adding a little bit more pressure so he doesn't think you're laughing at him. The entire situation is just a little bit hilarious to you.

After a few seconds you pull apart and the two of you end up laughing before you go back to watching the fireworks. Fortunately no one had been paying you any attention, so you and Luke can keep the kiss between the two of you.

You know for sure nothing can actually come out of whatever is going on between the two of you, but for now you're willing to take it one day at a time and come up with official rules later on the down the line.

[certified-opinion-haver]

The Stranger (2022) dir. Tom Wright

Thriller, Watched on Netflix 13/11/2022

The Thriller is loosely based on the real life kidnapping and murder of Daniel Morecombe. The ethics behind adapting real life tragedies into media attempting to entertain and create a profit will always be a complicated, art should be allowed to take inspiration from anywhere but having the real-life persons involved try and distance themselves as much as possible from these projects always gives food for thought.

This being said the film made the (wise, in my opinion) choice to draw the focus away from the victims and instead focus on the police investigation that led to the arrest. The films major strength is the performances from the two lead actors, Joel Edgerton and Sean Harris are incredibly talented performers and they lend the film a sense of realism and constant danger. Joel's understated performance of an undercover officer do an excellent job of portraying a sense of paranoia and vulnerability that allow the audience to really latch onto to the investigation. On the other side Sean Harris unpredictable and on-edge performance lend his character a sense of danger, even though he presents little physical threat against the officers investigating him. The threat instead becomes about keeping him calm and building trust with a character who is constantly set up as a loner. All other performances are functional, none of them particularly stood out as being as stellar as the two leads but they were effective and worked in service of the story.

Unfortunately, the films pacing lets this tight thriller down ever so slightly. The film is clearly aiming for a slow burn but some parts slow to an absolute crawl which minimises the impact of the short time frame the detective have been afforded for their undercover operation. The decision to tell the film out of chronological order is also hit and miss, some reveals are placed excellently in the narrative whilst other parts it can be disorientating to jump around so much between timelines.

The end on a positive, the film makes many brave and exciting editing/sound choices. Some dialogues between our leads are presented to the audience from the perspective of the hidden wires placed around the in-world locations as oppose to the on-set microphones. The film is also beautifully shot, getting the most out of the many night time scenes to create a panicked and anxious environment during many key moments.

Definitely worth watching, especially given the poor quality of most of Netflix's original output this year.

7/10