#it actually spoke well to the emotional truth of like ….

[fideidefenswhore]

i feel like they basically tried to transpose the storyline/dynamic btwn coa and mary boleyn from tobg in tsp (with coa and bessie blount) and realllly overdid what was already well-done and entertaining.

[allhopesforlove]

Farewell, my love part 3

Summary: In the midst of a battle, y/n realizes that their only way to victory would be through her sacrifice. Determined with her decision to lead an army of soldiers to the frontlines, there was nothing that could hold her back. Because she was sure that if she continued living on she wouldn’t survive any more of what was blooming between Elain and Azriel.

Pairing: Azriel x Reader, Azriel x Elain

Word count: 6.6K

Warning: Angst, war, misogyny, pain and just more pain?

A/n: This one was crazy tbh it took everything of my rookie writing to create a 6k words piece 😭 storytelling is really complex and you have to learn to not forget bits of information and try to string up everything together. But well, I hope you guys enjoy this part <3

And btwwwe the speech part was HEAVILY inspired by our one and only goat Hajime Isayama (those who know, know) so all credits to his beautiful and sexy brain.

Song recommendation: The Hanging Tree by Jennifer Lawrence, Running up that Hill-epic version by Samuel Kim

part 1 part 2

———————

With every step she took, she felt a piercing sensation in her chest. Although surrounded by the smell of death and fear, the only thing plaguing her mind was Azriel’s sorrowful expression. It took every bit of strength in her to leave him and winnow away, after he nearly begged on his knees so that she wouldn’t leave him.

Now if she had listened to her heart she would’ve probably stayed and flung her arms around him. She would’ve swatted off Rhysand and Cassian off of him so that he could embrace her as well.

As much as that sounded like a perfect resolution, she was thankful that her rationality took over her.

She had to look reality in the eyes. The bond had just snapped for them, emotions were running high and to be frank, it were their instincts and carnal desires taking hold of their actions.

Well for her, she also has been in love with him way before their lives were strung up together by fate. But that didn’t matter anymore.

She was thankful that Azriel spoke the truth about his feelings for Elain, truly, because it snapped her out of the dream she was creating in her mind. About actually having a happy ending with him. How foolish.

And after she saw the way Elain had looked at her she came to a painful realization that she herself was the one bringing ultimate chaos and confusion to their lives.

Because Azriel and Elain were happy, genuinely, they were happy before her, andshe was certain that they would still find a way to become happy after her. So who was she to disrupt this beautiful future they had pictured for themselves.

She heaved out a sigh that has been bottling up inside of her. What a crazy turn of events.

One moment she found out her mate was the one she has loved for so long, and now she was walking with a heavy heart towards her death. Right.

She had to focus on the matter at hand.

And as she neared the military base and saw the first men and women walking around their tents, anxiety began to creep up on her. With every clatter of her armor she felt their gazes on her. Are they aware of what’s about to happen to them? Were they able to sense her anxiety?

With heavy steps she dared look them in the eyes. Sorrow. Pain. Suffering. She was met with hard gazes.

Some, she saw, were wearing bandages around them, some were missing limbs.

An eerie silence was following every step she took. The reek of ruin lingering in her nostrils. It felt as though she was trapped to stand in the center of a sinister play, orchestrated by Death himself.

She was slightly shaking and as she realized this she clenched her fist to get ahold of herself. This wasn’t the time nor the place to get second thoughts about her decision. So whatever it was that distracted her, she pushed it down and gave her best to also close down her side of the bond.

Because Azriel’s emotions were overwhelming her and she couldn’t allow herself to still linger on him. This was it. This is where it ends for them. For her.

Two males and a female were approaching her. She recognized them as the base commanders. She felt chills running down her body as she saw that one of them was missing an eye, the wound still looking fresh. Even if she was a warrior and fought in wars before, she would never get used to its aftereffects. Never get used to the suffering.

She stood still and waited for the commanders to arrive at her side. By the looks of it, they were probably informed by Rhys, because… because it appeared that tension had drained from their features, leaving behind only the hollow calm of someone who knew their fate. They carried a sort of confidence and strength parents would tell their children about when reading them tales about ancient heroes. It soothed her. Despite the circumstances she found strength in that.

She adjusted her posture and relaxed her face.

She was going to do this.

“We were informed of your arrival just a moment ago, general.” Right. She was the general. Second to Cassian.

“It’s good to see you again y/n.”

And she remembered Farlan, the male standing besides the other one with the lost eye. They had fought side by side and she had saved Farlan from an attack he didn’t see while he was in the midst of a fight back then.

“It’s good to see you, too Farlan. Although I wished we had met again in other circumstances.” She rasped out with a sigh. He mustered up a crooked smile at that.

She then looked at the other two.

“Were the troops informed of the next attack?”

But what she really had meant to ask was, if they knew that they’d be riding to their deaths and not live long enough to get a taste of freedom again. But they understood her.

“We didn’t have much time, as we just got informed as well. But I think that some can guess what your arrival means.” the female answered her.

And she realized that she didn’t know her name.

“Please forgive me for my ignorance. I didn’t ask your names…?”

“Iris. I am Iris and this-“

“My name is Adonis.” A gruff voice interrupted. By the looks of it Adonis looked way older than the other two. Older than herself. Ancient almost. And his scarred eye added to his aged skin as he looked like someone who has seen lots of their world’s cruelty. With a hardened look he asked

“I am guessing that you will lead us?“

A sly grin appeared on her face at the obvious statement.

“Why else would I be standing here.”

She said looking him straight into his eyes not yielding to his stare. She didn’t move a muscle.

He narrowed his eyes at her then

“Tsk. They should’ve sent the general.”

“I beg your pardon?” The audacity of this male. But before she could say anything more, he spit viciously

“You think they’ll take a little girl like you seriously when you tell ‘em to openly run into the arms of the enemy.”

And she saw red.

“If you are pussy enough, you are very free to go. That’s what I’ll tell them as well.”

She said with cold indifference and continued

“I dont have time to play little games Adnis-“

“Adonis.”

“Right, Adonis, whatever. Matter of fact, I actually don’t care, but here is what I am going to tell you-“

and she was pissed now, because she looked at him with such a void that it was chilling, and she saw how Farlan looked down out of reflex. Iris looked like she was in awe. Guess it was long due that someone put Adris or Adnis, or whatever, in his place.

With slow but self-composed steps she was now standing right before him, as she felt his ugly breath hit her face. She scrunched up her nose at that.

“- whatever opinions you have of me. I dont give a fuck. But let’s make one thing clear commander-“ and she pointed a finger on his armored chest.

“Your hate, your prejudices or your anger. They won’t do you any good anymore, because you and I? We share the same fate-“

and she also looked at the other two

“We all will fight with all our might and we will die on that battlefield, I can assure you that. No sweet talks, no lies. Just the cruel reality of what is to come. And while you are one step closer to death, you will see that your greed will not help you get out of death’s grip. So either get ahold of yourself or fuck off.” and he was flabbergasted.

“And one more thing-“

Her brows knitted together into an arrogant frown

“-I am your general, not the other way round, so don’t you forget that even in your last moments in life, it was a woman that stood above you.”

And she was satisfied with that ugly face he was making.

“Now close your gaping mouth before I have to smell any more of that disgusting breath.”

His face was flushed with anger and his mouth shut, as it was the last thing she saw before turning to the other two.

“I want you to gather up everyone. We don’t have much time, so I want everyone prepared in 10 minutes.”

“Of course, general.” she heard Farlan say and rush to get everyone ready.

She didn’t wait a minute longer and took off to get a moment to herself. But before she got too far, she heard footsteps rushing to her. So she slowed down and was met with Iris’ form.

“Is there a problem?”

She asked as Iris seemed like she was out of breath. But what the former had to say surprised her

“You…- I…” she pointed one finger up while leaning on her knees and heaving out some breaths, so y/n stayed still and waited patiently for her to continue.

When it seemed like Iris was gaining composure again, she looked at her with such admiration it made y/n curious of what she had to say.

“I wanted to thank you general. The way you talked to Adonis, the way you put him in his place? That was something I have always dreamed of doing, so from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for allowing me to see that look on his face.” She breathed out and stood straight as a warrior. Y/n put her hand on her arm then and said

“You don’t have to thank me for that Iris. He was getting way over himself and it seems that this isn’t something that only happened in regards to me. I am happy that my choice of words satisfied you.”

And she winked at her, while Iris let out a little laugh.

“By the way, you can call me y/n. Titles don’t matter now anyway.”

Iris gave her a smile and brought her left hand towards where y/n’s hand was lying on her arm. And there, she saw a shiny object around her ringfinger and asked before she really could think about it

“You got family?”

And Iris looked towards where y/n was glancing. Maybe y/n shouldn’t have asked, because a sad smile was forming on Iris’ face and she saw tears welling in her eyes.

“I lost my mate in battle two days ago.” and y/n had to close her eyes at that. She felt her heart clench and hurt for this female in front of her. They say losing a mate is the worst kind of pain someone could feel. However, she was painfully reminded of a certain Shadowsinger.

“I am sorry for your loss Iris.” She whispered and Iris only gave her a sharp nod. She let go of her arm and just as she was about to leave Iris asked back.

“Do you .. have family?” And y/n couldn’t hide her gasp, she really wished that she wouldn’t have asked her as well, because everything was still so fresh.

She contemplated telling her about Azriel, and decided she would just do it. She had nothing to lose anymore.

“I.. I have a mate. But our situation is a bit complicated, because.. well he, he is with someone else-“ she heard a gasp and saw how Iris’ eyes widened. Before she could theorize in her head, y/n clarified

“It’s not that we were together before, no. He- he didn’t cheat or something like that. He was already together with the other woman and well.. let’s say the bond just snapped today for us.”

She didn’t know why but shame filled her at that revelation and she looked down on her boots. She didn’t want to delve into too much detail, because she already was feeling that numbing pain creep up on her again.

“That’s brutal. I am so sorry y/n, I wish there would’ve been more time for you.” Iris said with empathy.

And y/n was thankful in that moment to have someone who was compassionate with her, which is what compelled her to bare parts of her soul to her

“Yeah, me too Iris.”

And Iris looked at her with pity as she reached her fingers to her face to wipe the tear off that rolled down her face. She didn’t notice that she has started crying.

“I- well, I just wish that everything turned out differently-” and she was forcing herself to hold back that sob that was creeping up her throat.

She was thankful that Iris embraced her then, because she was sure that she would’ve broken down right then and there.

“Thank you for telling me.” Iris whispered in her hair and squeezed her. Y/n just squeezed back as an answer and relished in the comfort of Iris’ arms for a second.

—————————

Azriel couldn’t believe it. He just couldn’t understand why this was happening to him, one moment she was in front of him and now she was gone.

He shook of the hands holding him back, as they loosened their grip on him after y/n winnowed away.

“What the hell were you thinking.”

He spat viciously at Rhysand and Cassian, who still looked at him like they’ve seen a ghost. Because this was so unlike Azriel, unlike the shadowsinger hiding and observing in his silent corner. It was Rhysand who spoke up first

“What the hell has gotten into you Azriel? I understand that you don’t want her to risk her life for us, god, I wish that I have gone instead of her. But I never realized that you.. well that you guys were so close-“

and he dared to shift his gaze towards Elain

“- after you had nearly begged me to be with Elain.“

and Azriel winced and closed his eyes for a moment. Right. They didn’t know. And Elain…how was he supposed to do this now. Sweet Elain, who must be so confused why her lover acted this way for another female.

When he opened his eyes again, he looked up to seek out her gaze, and when he found her doe brown eyes already looking at him, he visibly shook. But one way or another, the truth had to be told and he’d rather want everyone to know at once rather than having to be questioned by every single one of them.

“Y/n is my mate.” and as he heard multiple gasps at once he couldn’t recognize which belonged to whom. But what broke his heart was the look Elain was giving him. Hurt. Betrayal. He didn’t want to do this to her, he didn’t want to be the cause of her pain.

“Brother… I-“ Cassian couldn’t find the right words, and he didn’t blame him because neither could he. This was a fucked up situation.

“And despite that, she … she still decided to go?” Mor asked no one in particular as a frown was appearing on her face.

“Well I … I didn’t really gave her a reason to stay.” he whispered back.

And now she got a bit irritated as she narrowed her eyes at him.

“What do you mean by that?”

But he didn’t need more words to say as realization hit her at once and she suddenly snapped her head towards Elain. She looked at her with such scrutiny, but before she got to say anything to her, Azriel went over Elain to stay protectively in front of her.

“Don’t even think of saying what you are thinking Morrigan.”

And he was serious.

He was not letting her or really any of them make Elain the villain of the story. That is not what she deserved.

“I can’t believe you Azriel. You are standing up for someone you’ve known for what? A couple years?”

She was exasperated as if this was an insult to her dignity.

“While your fucking mate is out there giving up her life?” She cried out.

His heart clenched and he felt like he couldn’t breathe at that thought. But he had to push it down, ignore it as he tried not to think of y/n when he said his next words.

“If you haven’t noticed already Mor, I actually care for Elain-“ and he seeked out Elain’s hand from behind him “-and I am not letting any of you put this blame on her. This is all on me and I-“ he looked around everyone “-I need some time with Elain first. I know all of you feel obligated to have a say in this, but truly, out of everyone, this effects mine and Elain’s life the most. So if you’ll excuse us.”

He didn’t wait for any responses as he took Elain, who still didn’t say a word about all of this, to a tent nearby. He had to get them some privacy for what he was going to do next.

When he pushed open the tent he was met by the sight of some healing supplies and some stretchers. Damnit did he choose a healing tent? He had to be fast so that no one interrupted them.

When he turned towards Elain, she still hasn’t uttered a word. So with his finger, he gently lifted up her chin to look directly into her eyes.

And seeing the hurt glimmering in them broke him, but he knew that he had to do this. In his mind and heart he had already decided, but when seeing how tears were silently streaming down her face it made it way difficult for him to voice out his thoughts.

“Elain…”

She clenched her eyes shut and let out a small cry. He quickly pulled her to his chest.

“I am so sorry my dear. I- I had no control over anything. You have to understand that.”

He whispered in her hair while she clung to him.

The next part, however, was going to be hard for him.

“Elain, look at me please.”

As he pulled away from her he saw her tear stricken face.

“I- I have made a decision for myself.” And Elain looked up at him with wonder, shining eyes glistening from all the tears, lips wobbling from holding back her sob.

“I didn’t expect the bond to snap, ever for me. All my life I had waited for my mate to come, all my life I had wished for my other half to complete me, I had yearned for it that it got to a point where I got obsessed with it.”

He noticed her listening to him attentively while tears were streaming down towards her lips. He wiped them off with his thumb.

“But all that wait could only bring me to a certain point in life. So when I saw how my brothers found their mates back to back, I saw how easy it was for them, to find their mates. A-and it got me thinking that if I was actually destined to have one it should’ve already snapped for me too-“ he whispered the last part and shifted on his feet.

“-so I gave up on it. Gave up on my wishful dream of having a mate. I realized that I did not deserve to have one, because why would others get their mates so easily while I was desperately yearning for one.. you have to understand Elain.. over 400 years I waited for her to arrive,

now imagine what that does with one.”

Elain looked at the ground and sniffed, but still, she stayed silent. So Azriel continued.

“But then you came, and I thought that maybe… maybe I could allow myself to try this with you. And I really did Elain, I fell for you, for your charms and witty words that only I got to see.” He wanted to cup her face, but quickly decided against it.

“I imagined what a future for both of us could look like and I was content with it. But you have to know that.. that there was still quite a hollowness in me.”

He closed his eyes and whispered

“I really tried to ignore it, because I really liked you and I wanted to allow myself a shot at happiness… I was and am happy with you Elain.”

“And I knew that with Lucien being your mate, the bond could never snap between us. So I had to make a decision for myself. If I was okay with accepting a future without a mate. Without the one person I have wanted so desperately for all my life.”

He looked at Elain with despair, he waited for her to say something, to speak out what he was afraid of. But she still refused to speak.

“So when the bond between me and her snapped I- I felt like everything that I had build was crushed again. It was like a slap to my face, a way of the Mother saying that I should’ve never given up, because when I was finally okay with the idea of not having a mate, the Mother offered her to me. Right before she was giving up on her life. As if it was a punishment for my impatience.” and his voice was shaking at that last part.

“I want you to know that I don’t regret ever meeting you, our time together is something I cherish. But I have to stay truthful and be honest with you. And myself.”

And Elain started to cry again as Azriel also felt tears forming in his eyes.

“I know that I cannot continue living when I know that my mate is out there fighting for her life. How could I? When…-“

and he closed his eyes for this next part

“-when she is all I ever wanted in my life.”

He whispered as he heard her gasp. He knew that this admission would hurt her, but he had no other choice.

“So I have to go after her. I decided that for myself. I-.. I need to… because with every minute that she is away, with every minute that she is preparing for her death, a part of my soul is burning along with it.”

And he allowed himself to feel her side of the bond but quickly realized that she had closed it off. It ripped his heart out that it got to this point.

When Elain’s crying still continued, he was begging her at this point to respond to him.

“Please … say something.” He whispered and looked at her with hopeful eyes, he needed her to say something or else his heart would explode from anxiously waiting.

“Please … at least just-“ but he was interrupted by Elain’s timid voice.

“Azriel… I- I need to tell you something.”

And she looked him directly into his eyes.

He held her gaze and waited for her to continue.

But, suddenly the air in the room shifted and he became very much aware of how Elain’s form was shaking.

“I have been keeping something from you, but- but it is eating me alive and I … I just can’t bare its weight anymore.”

Her voice cracked at the last part.

And Azriel suddenly felt a cold shiver run over him, making the hair over his arms stand up.

What could she possibly want to say to him? After he bared his soul to her, after he told her that he would go after his mate.

Could it be… no?

Could she be- but he wasnt able to finish his thought as she continued.

“I am.. I am sorry Azriel. I-… when I told Rhysand that I saw how this was going to play out, I was only telling half the truth.. I you have to understand that I- I only wanted what’s best for you.”

“I am not following ‘lain what-“

“I saw your future Azriel.”

“Way before this. I-“

she broke off her sentence with another sob

“I saw you happy with her, I saw you with your children. You had a family with her Azriel.”

And the world stood still for him. Suddenly he became aware of his loud thumping heart and his cold fingertips. He heard no sound other than Elain’s heavy breaths and his rising heart rate.

He felt like she had just pushed a knife through his heart and with every word she was saying, the knife went deeper into his heart. What.

“So I-… I.. when I saw the vision of y/n leading the troops.. she actually wasn’t alone. You had decided to go with her.” He felt sick.

“And with that knowledge.. I was selfish, because I didn’t want to lose what we have, I didn’t want to lose you Azriel. I knew that if you had chosen to go with her then… then everything else would have also played out the way I saw it.” And she looked down on her boots, shame filling her.

“So I had to interfere… I had to stop you from going with her, because I saw you were actually about to. And it scared me, and-“

“So you mean to tell me that your interference may have also changed the other part you saw of my future?” he looked dead in her eyes. And she let out a sob and covered her mouth with her hand.

“So the children you saw-“

he felt like he was going to puke

“-oh god Elain-“

and the tears fell out of his eyes

“-you prevented them from ever existing…?” He gave her a horrified look, eyes wide, eyebrows furrowed into a horror stricken frown. It left her gaping at him

“I, I am not so sure about that part, I really don’t know Azriel, I.. am so sorry, I realize that I may have overstepped.. I…-“ but before she could finish Azriel held up a hand to silence her.

“So you willingly risked y/n’s life, knowing that.. knowing that she was my mate and that we’d have children in the future-“

“Az-“

“I am not done Elain!” He said in a sharp tone.

He- he couldn’t believe what he was hearing… couldn’t believe that Elain manipulated his fate. Couldn’t believe that the woman he loved would go this far just to be with him. It made him sick.

“In your vision you saw me fighting alongside her and surviving. So.. now that she went alone.. that also means...”

Elain’s silence was enough answer for him.

He- he was about to go insane. This was too much for him. Children. They had children. And the tears were now falling easily from his eyes as he gripped his hair with his hands.

“How could you… how could you keep this from me.” He tried to say between the cries he let out.

“I am sorry Azriel … I cannot tell you how sorry I am.” And she was crying along with him.

But Azriel ignored her as he tried to control his cries, his breath before he triggered another panic attack… no, he couldn’t afford that now, not now. He had to go after his mate, he- he couldn’t be too late right?

With that thought in mind he pulled himself together and gave Elain one last look. He wanted to say so many things, wanted to scream at her but he reminded himself that his mate may be standing on that battlefield all alone and scared as he was wasting his time with someone who had done nothing but lied to him.

Wordlessly, without sparing her a second glance, he tore out of the tent.

After all, it seemed to Elain, even with her interference, even if he loved her, Azriel still had chosen his mate. It had not mattered that she had played with fate, because in the end it still was y/n that he wanted.

And that thought alone made Elain break down again, alone and cold, in the stillness of the tent.

As Azriel rushed out the tent he felt a soothing sensation on his hands, slowly creeping up his arms and neck. His shadows.. after he got with Elain, they were barely there, only came when he needed them, but now… now they were back. And he felt a sudden burst of strength with that.

He was going to get his mate, whatever the cost.

—————————

As y/n was having a moment to herself, before everything escalated she closed her eyes. She tried to sense everything around her to calm herself. She heard the distant voices of men and women preparing for battle. The wind causing to rustle the leaves on the couple of trees around them.

She looked up with her face and opened her eyes to see the cobalt blue sky over her.

Such beautiful hues of blue, she thought. How she wished she could’ve seen the ocean right now. Heard its crashing waves on the coast. Smelled its salty but fresh scent. How she wished she could sit on the sand and just watch the waves in the distance.

And even if she didn’t want to, she thought of Azriel. Oh, beautiful Azriel. When she closed her eyes again she could just imagine him right before her, looking at her with that smile, slightly crooked and just so Azriel. She imagined his dimple popping up when he smiled, accompanied with his oh so soft gaze that it got her swooning just by imagining. She remembered his gentleness whenever he talked with her and suddenly also remembered his pain filled gaze when he saw her crying because of him.

She remembered him kissing Elain’s hands and, despite the bond snapping, still choosing her. And she thought to herself. She really didn’t held any resentment towards any of them. Not Azriel and not Elain.

Because if y/n had only tried harder before, tried to be straightforward with Azriel way before, everything might’ve turned out differently. But maybe it just wasn’t meant to be, maybe she was only meant to live and die with an unrequited love.

And she didn’t want to think in that way, but the bond snapping for them? It really didn’t make any sense, because what was the point other than breaking her even more and complicating things for Azriel as well.

It must be hard for him too, because even if he loved Elain, his soul was still connected to hers.

And now she just felt guilty, but before she could dwell on it any more, she opened her eyes again and saw in the distance, black dots of what looked like to be Hybern’s army. It was time.

Y/n pulled herself together, sucked in a deep breath and walked towards the building mass of soldiers standing and waiting for her in several rows. Those were a lot of people.. but she knew that in comparison to the enemy they were definitely the minority.

She was going to lead them, they’d stand under her responsibility. So she’d be damned if she didn’t give her best and showed them her determination .

As she walked towards them she felt a chill run down her back, as an unsettling silence settled and every single one of them stared at her with an unwavering gaze.

She stopped where Adonis stood in front of the troops. He threw her a quick glance and muttered in a deep voice

“You better make this right girl.” and turned around to also stay in the same row as the soldiers.

Then, only then, y/n allowed herself to glance over everyone who stood in front of her.

Warriors of all age and sex, color and race, were aligned in multiple rows that stretched out from the far left where Farlan stood until the far right where she saw Iris looking at her. An eerie silence was all that was left, everyone anticipating what she had to say.

She rested her face and made an unwavering expression, as if she wanted to tell them and reassure them of her dependability, her confidence. And then with a loud, powerful but steady voice

“Warriors of Prythian!”

“I am about to announce our final attack against the enemies of our homeland!” And she clenched her jaw.

“We will charge right forward, where-“

and she pointed her finger to her back, right at the spot where Hybern’s army was marching towards them

“-you see the enemy. We will move forward as one unit and hope to be encased by them so that-“

and she heard some gasps at that

“-so that our other troops on the Southern, Western and Northern side, with the High Lords, can charge at them from behind in a surprise attack-“

and slowly but surely she saw realization hit the most of them, as their gazes shifted to uncertainty, fear and shock.

Some of them looked at their base commanders to search their eyes for confirmation, but they didn’t move an inch and continued to emanate the same conviction.

“-and therefore surround them from all sides.”

No one uttered a word and a heavy and oppressive silence settled around them. But then, someone from the rows came forward and dared to ask what everyone else thought

“So you are telling us… to ultimately ride to our own deaths? Am I understanding this right?”

And y/n blinked at the man, not much older than Feyre, and said with a firm tone

“You are absolutely correct.”

And there someone to her right side fell to their knees and emptied their stomach on the stomped grass in front of them.

The male looked at her with absolute horror then, and she wandered her gaze to the others. They didn’t seem to be reacting any differently. Y/n felt the sweat rolling down her spine but she didn’t make any of her nerves visible on her face, as she continued to maintain a certain cold indifference.

“And since we are dying anyway, you are saying… that it is better dying while fighting till our last breaths…?”

And y/n turned to him again and with an unwavering gaze

“Yes I am.”

And with a trembling voice and a small forming smile, while tears were burning his eyes he continued

“..but if we are going to die anyway, it wouldn’t matter what we do, right? … we … we could also just disobey your orders and it wouldn’t mean a thing would it..” and he looked at her with shiny almost hopeful eyes.

“You are absolutely right.”

And his face fell at that as his mouth began shaking.

“Every belief you held dear, every dream, every hope, every fleeting moment of joy…”

“…it all becomes meaningless as you lay dying on the cold, unforgiving battlefield.”

and she pointed towards the enemy once more

“We all die.” She promised no sweet talk but her utmost honesty.

She took a step closer and grabbed the boy by his armor as she told him, loud enough, so that everyone could hear

“Does that mean our lives hold no value? That there was no purpose to our existence?” she asked, her gaze locking with his.

“…And what of our comrades who gave their all on the battlefield? Would you dare say their lives were meaningless as well?”

And he dared to look right back in her eyes. She felt Iris’ tearful gaze on her as she acknowledged her with a courteous nod.

So as y/n pushed him back in his row and turned to everyone else again, she said, with utmost conviction.

“They were not! Their memories stand as a beacon for us all!”

“The brave have fallen—” she said, pacing to the right, her voice steady.

“The broken have fallen—” she continued, stepping to the left, her presence commanding. The unit’s eyes following her, wide with awe.

“Their lives have meaning because we, the living, vow never to forget them!”

Returning to the center, she stood tall, her voice ringing with unwavering assurance as she declared:

“And as we charge toward our inevitable deaths, we trust that those who come after us will honor us the same.”

And she realized that as she continued talking, they were starting to look up, conviction burning in their faces.

“Because my soldiers stand strong and unbroken in the face of this world’s cruelties!”

“So we will charge with utmost honor and pride and sacrifice ourselves as we wished others would’ve done the same for us!”

“Now collect your weapons, as they will serve as your best comrades for what is to come. And fight- not for glory, but for the honor of those who stand beside you and those who will come after!”

For a moment an overwhelming silence fell over the soldiers, their eyes wide as they took in the weight of her words and she almost got anxious that her speech had the complete opposite effect on them as she had intended, but then, as if stirred by some unseen force, a deafening roar exploded from their ranks, shaking the ground beneath them.

As she looked around and saw even Adonis’ gaze filled with awe, y/n knew that she had done the right thing. So she allowed her face to stretch into a little smile as she clenched her hand into a fist, raised it to the sky and screamed along with them.

But that uproar didn’t held on for long as she sensed it before seeing it.

Her heart rate picked up and she felt a calming presence land behind her with a thud that it forced the troops in front of her into silence.

When a mix of a woody and night-mist scent hit her nostrils, her tears were instantly forming in her eyes and gone was her facade of strength.

She didn’t dare turn around even as she heard the approaching steps.

And when the first shadow brushed against her skin she couldn’t hold it anymore and swiftly turned around and-

And there-

In all his glory, his tall posture and composure, he stood in front of her with a crooked smile and gentle eyes as he looked at her, the wind brushing his soft hair back as it exposed more of his beautiful face, clear defined, and a dark tone, making his freckles from the distance almost invisible. And his eyes conveyed so many unspoken words that it almost seemed like they yearned for her, yearned to drink up everything that was her.

With clear determination he strode over to her and y/n’s heart almost leaped out of her chest as she felt his burning gaze on her, on every little movement of her.

When he stopped in front of her, only a breath separating them, y/n still stayed unmoving.

He opened his mouth and she quickly realized how she followed his every move, how she stared at his beautifully tinted lips.

She waited with anticipation to hear his dark velvety voice again, was desperate for his voice to shake her in her core. She let out ragged breaths and almost felt pathetic if it wasn’t for that crooked smile accompanying his voice

“If you keep looking at me like that I am going to lose it in front all of them my love.”

And she wanted to cry, wanted to hit him, scream at him, kiss him, and scold him all at once but settled on just asking him in a small whisper.

“..Why are you here?”

And she looked at him with wide glistening eyes, flustered, as she waited for his response.

And his eyes softened as he looked at her as though she were the very center of his universe.

“Because I realized that a life without you would be an empty existence-“

and her lips started shaking and the first tears were streaming down her eyes

“-because y/n-“

and his shaking hand cupped her right cheek as his thumb wiped off her tears and soothed her skin

“-I’d rather fall on the battlefield, sharing those final moments with you, than face a life where you no longer exist in it.”

————————————

A quick a/n: I am not really satisfied with how this turned out but I hope you’ll forgive my mistakes, as I really tried to rush this because the ideas were floating all in my head and before forgetting them I had to write them down so yeah, I hope this turned out at least a tiny bit like how you imagined <33 & again I appreciate every single one of you, your likes, reblogs and comments 🥺🫶🏼

I don’t know how many parts I’ll do but this is definitely not the end ;)

Taglist:

@kingshitonly @phoenix666stuff @blackgirlmagicforever @dragonsandrinks

@daughterofthemoons-stuff @tele86 @isa1b2h3 @curlyhairkk @jencole214 @willowpains @thestartitaness @romantasyreader28 @highladyofhogwarts @wrenisrad @minaaminaa8 @meritxellao @blepskies

@venuseuripedis @onebadassunicorn-blog @cleverzonkwombatsludge @atomictyphoonkitten @angiieguevara @thegoddessofnothingness @lilah-asteria

@makershoe @annaaaaa88 @saltedcoffeescotch @rcarbo1 @salvatoresister1 @historygeekqueen @fuyukonikiforova @donnadiddadog @becstersworld @batboyslutt @giovax

@rahdaleigh @cherryjain17

[cozage]

Hi, Coza! I hope you are doing well! I miss your writings and am so excited to see your requests are open! :)

I saw a post by sunshinescribes that talked about how Law doesn’t believe in unconditional love and how he thinks relationships should be transactional. Hopefully I can properly link it here because they do a really good job at explaining it: https://www.tumblr.com/sunshinescribes/728643191573757952/i-think-the-most-tragic-part-of-laws-character-is

I was wondering if it was possible to have a scenario based off of this post of reader just appreciating and loving Law because they want to. Like maybe they’re just waking up and reader is using the rare moment of peace and quiet in bed to spill all of their love and sappy thoughts to him. He deserves all of the comfort, love, and care 😭

A/N: Thanks for this devastatingly lovely prompt! Here's the post for everyone if you want to go give it a read (and a like!) Characters: gn reader x Law Cw: none :)  Total word count: 850

There Are No Conditions

The way the light refracted through the cabin window in the morning and bounced off of Law’s ravenous hair was one of your favorite things in this world. It was one of the few times he didn’t have a scowl on his face. He rarely smiled in his sleep, but his face almost always looked so peaceful. His eyelids fluttered for a moment, and then his face turned soft again. He must have been having a good dream. 

You noticed he was starting to get a few gray hairs. He must have been under some kind of stress recently. Though he always seemed to be since you all had entered the New World. You knew he had a lot on his mind, and you wished there was something you could do to make his life easier. You wanted to bear that burden with him. 

“Do you need something?” Law’s voice came out hoarse, but his sudden alertness had startled you slightly. 

“Nothing at all,” you said sweetly. “Just admiring you in this light.”

He groaned and pulled you in closer to him. “We’re getting curtains at the next island.”

You gave an exasperated gasp, but snuggled in tightly to him knowing his threat was empty. “And you would deny me of such a simple pleasure for what? Extra sleep?”

His eyes cracked open at your words and he peered down at you. “You cannot enjoy watching me sleep.”

You gave a sheepish smile. “It’s one of my favorite things in this world, Trafalgar Law. In fact, you’re one of my favorite things in this whole world, so everything that you do is automatically good in my eyes.”

He rolled his eyes, clearly not believing you. “Flattery is a little thick today. You might want to tone it down, or I’ll catch on to the fact that you want something.”

You stuck your tongue out at his words. “All I wanted was to look at you while you sleep!”

“Freak.” He paired his words with a kiss to your forehead to show he didn’t actually mean them. 

The two of you were silent for a while. You thought he had fallen back asleep, so you occupied your time tracing over his tattoos. But after a few minutes, he spoke again.

“Okay, seriously-” He pulled back slightly to look at you. He tended to do that when he wanted to make sure you were being truthful. “What did you want to do today?”

You were never good at hiding your emotions. You knew they had all washed over your face in a matter of seconds, and Law could read them all with intense precision. Confusion. Knowing. Irritation. And then, understanding. 

“I don’t want anything from you, Law,” you explained. “I was just…enjoying the view? I don’t know how to say it correctly. I find myself staring sometimes because I find you interesting.”

Law’s brows scrunched together in confusion. “If you wanted a good view, the deck and the sea are far more interesting. Especially at this time of day.”

You gave a humorless laugh. “I love you more than I love the sea, idiot.”

He froze at those words, and you could see him struggling to make sense of them. “So you were staring at me…?”

“Because I love you,” you finished for him. 

That didn’t seem to help. “And you love me because…?”

“I don’t know!” You gave out a sharp laugh at the thought. “There are no reasons and so many reasons! But there are no conditions for my love, Law! I just love you because I love you. I can’t say exactly why I love you. I just do!”

You had really done it now. You were fairly certain you had never seen Law more confused or more flustered than he was in this moment. He gave a hard swallow and nodded his head, but you could tell further clarification was still needed.

“You don’t understand,” you said, watching his eyes turn to the ceiling. If they went there, that usually meant he was lost in thought. 

He shrugged. “I do, in a way. I feel that way about you, but I…well, I never expected someone to feel that way about me.”

The weight of his words made your heart sink. He deserved more than anyone to know how much he was treasured. You would die for him for no other reason than love. And while he could grasp the concept, he couldn’t understand why someone would feel that way towards him. 

“How about I tell you all the things I love about you?” you offered softly, trying to pull him away from his thoughts. It was too early to be thinking of such deep topics.

His eyes shifted over to you, and you could see he was half alarmed by your offer. But you could see the smallest spark of intrigue. 

So you began listing everything you could think off, absentmindedly still tracing over his tattoos. 

The sun was more than halfway across the sky before you finished. And there was a soft smile on his face during your all’s afternoon nap. 

[enwoso]

hey, could you try write something platonic for arsenal x reader with anger issues and the team getting the brunt of it? maybe like kim/leah having to deal with them or learn to calm them down? something along those lines idrk hahahah

NOT YOU — arsenal wfc x reader

this went in a different direction then what i had originally planned. sorry if some sorts don’t make sense i wrote this while i was half asleep. but enjoy x

warnings: talks of an absent father, few swear words

masterlist

the team was worried about. more specifically kim and leah were worried about you. they had never seen you act the way you had in the past. usually you were always laughing and joking around with kyra, pulling pranks and overall just being a pest.

but something had switched, little things were making you snap more quicker than usual, you were making harsh tackles on your own teammates as well as making rude remarks to anyone who tried to talk to you which wasn't totally out of the normal but your actions were speaking louder than your words at the moment.

the team knew you had a short fuse but it had never been this bad before. something had lit your fuse.

the girls had tried everything to try and figure out what had happened but nothing seemed to work but by the day, your anger was starting to build and leah and kim were worried it was about to spill over and were worried for whoever was on the receiving line for when that actually happened.

"we need to try and figure out what is wrong with y/n, she's gonna seriously hurt someone otherwise" kim said as she walked back from the training fields with leah by her side, who immediately agreed with the scot.

a hushed talk of the other girls in front on the two talking about your negative attitude. the two giving each other a look knowing the longer your temper and bad mood continued the more it was going to affect the team.

you were walking behind everyone else, by yourself letting your thoughts override as you walked along the gravelled path of colney. your boots hanging from your hand as the wind hit your bare legs.

you were last to walk into the locker room to grab your bag as well as being one of the last to leave. checking your phone to look at the time but being met with several messages from your dad.

rolling your eyes at them as your scowl deepening as you didn’t even bother to read any of them knowing it whatever he had written but be a whole load of waffle, as the man couldn’t tell the truth if smacked him in the face and said ‘i’m here!’

you and your dad had a complicated relationship, actually scratch that, that was putting it in nice terms. to you he was a deadbeat dad, or you could go as far as saying a sad excuse for a father.

chucking your shoes on and tying the laces when you felt a showed stand over you, noticing the shoes you knew who it was before you even looked up.

“y/n, can we have a chat?” kim asked calmly, as you looked at her not saying anything instead nodding for her to continue. knowing that this chat had been coming as you’d noticed the looks and chats she’d been having with leah and a few of the others girls — knowing that it would most likely be about you.

“you don’t have to tell me but i can tell your not yourself y/n and we’re all here for you and we just want to help you if we can but- your behaviour is starting to affect the team” she began as you just sat on the bench not showing the scot any emotion. kim was walking on egg shells as she spoke, you being able to sense her trying to pick her words carefully.

“you going to seriously injure someone if you carry on lashing out at people. so if there anything we can help with?” kim spoke in the same spoke tone, you leg bouncing up and down your head was a mess and the last thing you wanted was to have someone pity you.

you didn’t like pity.

you shook your head, “nope i’m all good!” packing your bag up and slinging it on your shoulder.

“are you sure- cause we-“

“kim! i said i’m good! just leave it at that! leave me fucking be!” you spat storming out the room. the door slamming as you walked down the corridor. regret and guilt filling your body with each step, but you were sick of people asking you if you were okay, babying you.

why couldn’t they all just take the hint when you said you were fine?

“y/n.” her voice echoed along the corridor, making you freeze. “c’mere” leah spoke in a stern tone, as you turned around half of the blondes body poking out of one of the meeting rooms.

dragging your feet to where she was, taking in a big breath as you walked into the empty room. taking a seat in one of the chairs as leah turned on her heel the door clicking shut as she stood tall in front of you her arms folded across her chest, almost intimidating you.

“what’s going on? this isn’t the y/n i know.” leah said in the same tone she’d spoken to you in just a few minutes ago. you stayed silent, a part of you scared you may lash out at the blonde too.

leah knew you best out of anyone on the team, she was the one you trusted most out of the team even if she was several years younger than you. she was the one that took you under her wing when you first started training with the first team.

with that though meant the blonde could read you like a book. you couldn’t lie to her like you easily could to the others as she would know the minute you opened your mouth.

“maybe this is the new y/n” you spoke in a hushed tone, shrugging your shoulders as leah raised her eyebrows confused at your words.

“no. no, this isn’t you. has something happened with your mum?” she asked, as she watched your body language closely as that was the closest she was getting to you actually giving the blonde some clues as to what had happened.

your shoulders tense up a little more. leah knew about your close relationship with your mum how she was your number one supporter, the england captain having quite a good relationship with her, herself.

you shook your head, “no, my mums fine” you paused before continuing.

"my dads’ been back in contact." you mumbled as a sigh of defeat come from you. the room filling with silence as leah came and sat down next to you putting her arm around you not saying anything yet as she knew you hadn't finished what you wanted to say yet.

"begging to be back in my life, that he's so proud that i'm his daughter, that he misses me blah blah blah, coming back into my life once again when it’s convenient for him." the bitterness was obvious in your tone of voice as you spoke, it told the whole story for itself.

leah knew about the your history with your father, how he had treat you and your mother when you were little before leaving your mum to carry on your upbringing as a single parent when you were just four.

but then every few years he would pop back up into your life, wanting and begging to be apart of it. that he had changed and wasn’t the same man he was when you were five.

but you had learned the hard way, that people like him. they don’t change.

so the first couple of times when he would spring back up when you were younger, he would promise you the world. that he would promise take you out for the day and spoil you with anything and everything you want claiming it as his way of making up for lost time but it would always end the same way.

you sitting on the bottom step of your stairs, hair all nicely done, dressed in an outfit you would spent hours figuring out what to wear. you would sit there for hours, the sound of the clock ticking away. all for him to just not turn up and then make a lame excuse up as you cried in your mums arms.

so the last time you saw him before the past week, was when you were 15 just after making it into your first youth camp with england as well as joining the arsenal academy, your dad had told you that he had met someone in america and that he was moving there.

a small part of you was a little hurt but the majority of you was happy as sad as it sounds but he was never really a dad to you.

“i thought he was living in america?” leah asked as you hummed, a mock laugh coming over you “me too, until he showed up at my door at 6 in the morning!”

“thinking he was going to just have a place to stay at mine as if he didn’t just leave for 5 years no messages, no calls. then when i said no he started trying to manipulate me, saying how im such a bad daughter-“ you breathed out feeling leah squeeze your shoulders, her hand rubbing up and down your arms for comfort.

“have you spoken to your mum about this? does she know he’s back in london?” leah asked quietly as you shook your head. “no, she doesn’t need that stress right now.”

“i don’t know what to do le, everytime i go home he’s there. i don’t even fuckjng know how he got my address.” your voice cracked, all the emotions you’d been holding in for the past week finding flooding over.

you were conflicted, cause whilst you had spent so many years hating your father for never being there or if he was it was only when it suited him and not when you really needed him. you wanted to believe he’d changed but his actions spoke louder and then his words.

but then again he was your dad, where you got your blood from but that was it, you didn’t really know him at all and he didn’t really know you.

you both only really knowing of each other.

“it’s okay, y/n we’ll figure it out together i promise.”

[scarluna]

Y/N, a gifted but self-conscious graphic designer, lands a job at Jeon Enterprises, a powerhouse ruled by the sharp and controlling Jeon Jungkook, whose ruthless perfectionism hides behind an enigmatic façade. Though admired and feared, Jungkook targets Y/N’s insecurities, using them as weapons against her.

Beside him stands his best friend, Min Yoongi, a sly and unpredictable force whose hot-and-cold behavior leaves Y/N questioning his motives.

Tangled in a web of cold authority, teasing games, and unspoken desire, Y/N must navigate a dangerous love triangle where ambition and emotion collide, threatening to unravel everything.

Pairing: Jungkook x Fem!Reader x Min Yoongi

Genre/Tags: plus sized reader, enemies to lovers, ceo!jungkook, graphic designer!reader, mafia!yoongi

Link to the other chapters: ACT I / ACT II / ACT III / ACT IV / ACT V / ACT VII

Chapters: 6 / ?

Chapter Warnings: mature language, bullying, slow burn, enemies to lovers, love triangle

ACT VI.

The crisp winter air nipped at my cheeks as I stepped out of my apartment building, my scarf wrapped snugly around my neck. It was a lazy Sunday, the kind of day where I would’ve normally curled up with a book or caught up on my favorite shows. But today was different. Today, Taehyung had insisted we spend the day together—no work, no drama, just us.

As I adjusted my coat, making sure not to freeze despite the sun outside, I saw him across the street, standing next to a streetlamp. He looked effortlessly handsome in a cream-colored sweater under a beige trench coat, his dark hair slightly tousled by the breeze. His eyes lit up the moment he spotted me, and I couldn’t help but smile back.

In his hands was a small bouquet of flowers—white daisies and pink tulips, delicate and cheerful.

“For you,” he said as I approached, holding the bouquet out with a boyish grin.

“Flowers?” I teased, taking them gently. “Are you trying to win me over?”

He smirked. “Maybe. Is it working?”

I laughed, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “It’s a good start.”

We began walking down the quiet street, the crunch of our shoes against the pavement mingling with the sounds of the city waking up. A few blocks away, we found our favorite little café, the one with the cozy atmosphere and the best hot chocolate in town.

Taehyung held the door open for me, and we were greeted by the familiar scent of cocoa and cinnamon. The café was warm, a stark contrast to the chilly weather outside.

“Two hot chocolates?” the barista asked with a knowing smile as we approached the counter.

“You know us too well,” Taehyung replied with a soft chuckle. We have been visiting this coffee shop back when we were only college students. This place held memories of us. And I cherished it a lot.

Once our drinks were ready—complete with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cocoa powder—we found a corner booth by the window. The steam from the mugs curled into the air as we sat across from each other, the sunlight streaming in and casting a golden glow over his face.

“So,” he began, his tone playful. “What’s on your mind, Miss Y/N? Besides how devastatingly handsome I am.”

I rolled my eyes, taking a sip of my hot chocolate to hide my smile. “I was actually thinking about how certain someone managed to spill wine on my dress last night.”

His expression softened, the teasing replaced by genuine concern. “You handled that so well. I would’ve lost my cool.”

“Well,” I said, swirling my spoon in the whipped cream, “I guess I’ve had enough practice dealing with people like Tina.”

He reached across the table, resting his hand over mine. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. You are more badass than you think.”

His words warmed me more than the hot chocolate ever could. "I honestly don't know what I will do without you, Tae. I am grateful to have you in my life." I spoke out, it was the truth, I never expressed my gratefulness but now I did. I wanted him to know that I cherished him. Tae's cheeks flushed.  "I will always be here, Y/N. No matter what." My heart skept a beat. I grinned at him and brough the glass toward my lips as if to hide my blush. "So, what's the deal with your Boss tho?There seems to be tension between him and you. I didn't like how he stole you away from me last night..." I froze. My smile faltered and I cleared my throat. "He is just . . . a bit controlling, that's all." "Controlling? He is possessive of you, Y/N. His eyes are feral when he is around you." My frown deepened and I shook my head. "That's not true. I mean, he did made fun of me and my way of work but that's all. He thrives for perfection." Tae's eyes darkened, he stared at me for a minute longer, before a deep sigh escaped his lips. "I just want you to be self-aware of your surroundings, Y/N." Maybe he was right. Maybe I was too caught up between him and Yoongi to even notice what was happening. I couldn't keep this up. My feelings didn't matter, all that matters is my job and how I do it. An awkward silence stretched between me and Taehyung. We were both lost in thoughts now. Gosh, he shouldn't have mentioned Jungkook. Because with Jungkook there is also Yoongi.

After we finished our drinks, we spent the rest of the day wandering around the city. Taehyung led me to a park we used to visit back when we were teenagers. The trees were bare, their branches dusted with the season’s first frost, but the air was alive with laughter from families and couples enjoying the day.

We stopped by the frozen pond, watching as kids skated in clumsy circles. Taehyung nudged me gently with his shoulder.

“Remember the time I tried to teach you how to skate?” he asked, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

I groaned, covering my face with my hands. “Don’t remind me. I think I fell a dozen times..”

“And I caught you every single time,” he added, a proud smile on his face. He was the cutest with how he smiled, it was like stars appeared in his eyes everytime he did.

We walked on, stopping occasionally to take in the sights or to snap a picture. At one point, we found a street musician playing a soulful tune on his guitar. Taehyung pulled me to the side, bowing dramatically.

“May I have this dance?” he asked, his voice dripping with charm.

“Here? In the middle of the park?” I asked, laughing nervously.

“Why not?” He took my hand before I could protest, spinning me gently in a slow circle.

People passed by, some smiling at the sight of us, but I didn’t care. For a moment, it felt like the rest of the world had disappeared, leaving just the two of us.

By the time the sun began to set, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink, we found ourselves sitting on a bench overlooking the river. Taehyung wrapped his scarf around my neck, ignoring my protests that I was fine.

“I don’t want you catching a cold,” he said, tucking the ends neatly under my coat.

“Thanks, Dad,” I teased, but the truth was, I didn’t mind. He was caring by nature, and maybe to be cared for felt good...

As the day came to an end, I realized how much I needed this. No work, no stress, no complicated feelings about Yoongi or Jungkook—just a simple, perfect day with Taehyung..

“Still cold?” he asked, noticing my movements.

“Not really,” I admitted. “This scarf is ridiculously warm.”

He smiled, his hands shoved casually into his pockets. “It’s because it’s mine. Everything I own is top-tier.”

I nudged him with my elbow, grinning. “Oh, please. That’s the most Taehyung thing you’ve said all day.”

He laughed, the sound light and easy, and I couldn’t help but smile wider. There was something about him—his energy, his warmth—that made everything feel okay, even after the chaos of last night.

As we turned the corner onto my street, he slowed his pace.

“You know,” he began, his tone softer now, “I really enjoyed today. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you so relaxed.”

“I guess I needed it,” I replied, glancing up at him. “Just a perfect day with an old friend.”

“Old friend?” he repeated, pretending to be offended. “I’ll have you know I’m as youthful as ever. If anything, I’ve only gotten better with age.”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped me. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And you love it,” he shot back, his grin widening.

I didn’t respond, but the way my cheeks warmed betrayed me.

When we reached my building, we stopped just outside the entrance. The soft hum of the city buzzed in the background as we turned to face each other.

“Well,” I said, clutching the bouquet of flowers he’d given me earlier, “thanks for today. Really.”

“Anytime,” he said, his voice gentle. “I mean it. If you ever need to escape, just call me. I’ll be there.”

For a moment, neither of us said anything. The streetlight above cast a faint glow on his face, highlighting the sincerity in his eyes.

“You’re a good friend, Tae,” I said softly, though the words felt heavier than they should have.

His smile faltered for a fraction of a second, but he recovered quickly, his expression warm and playful again. “Only a good friend? I’ll have to work on upgrading that title.”

I laughed, shaking my head. “Goodnight, Taehyung.”

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he replied, his voice low and filled with something unspoken.

I turned to unlock the door to my building, but before I could step inside, I heard him call my name.

I turned back, and there he was, standing a few feet away, his hands still in his pockets. “Don’t forget to put those flowers in water,” he said, a lopsided grin on his face.

“I won’t,” I promised, holding up the bouquet.

And with that, he turned and walked away, his figure disappearing into the quiet night. I stood there for a moment, watching him go, the warmth from the day still lingering in my chest.

As I finally stepped inside, I couldn’t help but smile to myself. Today had been perfect—simple, sweet, and exactly what I needed. 

-

The scene outside the company building was unlike anything I’d ever seen. Reporters shouted over each other, their cameras flashing relentlessly as they aimed toward the entrance. Police cars were parked haphazardly along the curb, their lights casting ominous blue and red hues against the surrounding buildings.

My heart sank as I tried to push through the crowd, clutching my bag tightly. The questions flying through the air were disjointed but enough to spark unease in my chest.

“Is it true Jeon Enterprises is under investigation?” “CEO Jeon Jungkook has yet to make a statement—”"Is there a suspect already?"

I forced myself to block out the noise, stepping up to the security guard at the entrance. My heart was thumping fast and loud in my chest. This entire atmosphere looked like a crime series. I had no idea what happened but whatever it was, it was serious.

“I work here,” I said, fumbling with my badge. My hands shook slightly, and I hated how obvious it was.

The tall bulky guard dressed in a black suit squinted at my badge, then gave me a short nod. “Go ahead.”

His words did nothing to calm me as I entered the building, the usual hum of productivity replaced by frantic whispers and hurried footsteps. Police officers roamed the lobby, speaking into radios, while employees stood in clusters, their faces pale with shock.

What on earth happened?

I hurried toward the elevator, my pulse quickening with every step. The ride up to our floor felt like an eternity, and when the doors opened, the sight made my stomach churn.

Officers were everywhere, combing through desks and confiscating files. The normally pristine office space was in disarray, papers scattered and voices raised in hushed tones.

“Y/N!”

I turned to see Rya approaching me, her expression frantic. I could see the paleness on her face, she was definitely shocked and panicked.

“What’s going on?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Rya glanced around before pulling me aside, her grip on my arm tight. “Tina... she’s dead.”

I froze, her words not registering at first. “What?”

“They found her body last night at her apartment,” Rya said, her voice shaking. “And the last person who was seen with her was Jungkook. Police came and took him with them twenty minutes ago. They treated him like a suspect!”

The air seemed to leave my lungs. My mind raced as I tried to piece together what she was saying. Tina? Dead? And Jungkook?

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “That doesn’t make any sense. Jungkook wouldn’t—”

“I know,” Rya interrupted, her voice urgent. “But the police don’t care about what we think. And the media is having a field day with it. They are also got a search order to see if they can find any clue on what happened, Jungkook's office is a raided mess. Cops took everything.”

I glanced around the chaotic office, my chest tightening. Jungkook wasn’t just my boss; he was someone I had come to respect despite our rocky start. The idea that he could be involved in something like this was incomprehensible.

Rya’s hand hovered over the remote as the reporter’s voice filled the tense air of the office.

“Breaking news this morning,” the reporter began, her tone grave. “Authorities have confirmed the discovery of a deceased individual late last night at their apartment. The victim has been identified as an employee of Jeon Enterprises and was last seen attending the high-profile masquerade ball hosted by MNT Media just days ago.”

Rya and I exchanged a glance, our breaths caught in the shared silence. The weight of the words was crushing, and my mind raced to process what I already knew.

“Last seen at the ball...” Rya whispered, her voice barely audible, but I caught the way her hands trembled as she gripped the remote.

I swallowed hard, fighting the knot forming in my throat. 

The broadcast continued, showing images of the ball—the glittering chandeliers, the elegant gowns, the masked faces. And then it switched to a live shot of an apartment building cordoned off with police tape, officers moving in and out under the glow of harsh floodlights.

“Sources close to the investigation report signs of foul play, though no official suspects have been named. Jeon Jungkook, CEO of Jeon Enterprises, has been confirmed to have been the last one who saw the victim alive, and authorities have expressed interest in speaking with him.”

“Damn it,” Rya muttered, her voice cracking slightly. 

I didn’t answer, the words sticking to the back of my throat. We both knew it was. There was no need to say it out loud.

Instead, I fixed my gaze on the screen, where the reporter was now recounting snippets. “The victim was known to be a driven and outspoken employee, with significant professional ties and ongoing disputes that may have played a role in the events leading up to their death.”

"Y/N... this is bad. Really bad. The board is already panicking, and if this gets any worse, it could take down the entire company.”

I felt like the floor was tilting beneath me, the weight of the situation pressing down on my shoulders.

“I need to find Yoongi,” I muttered, my voice steadier than I felt.

“Yoongi?” Rya frowned.

“He’ll know what to do,” I said, more to convince myself than her. “He always does.”

Without waiting for her response, I turned and started toward his office, my mind a whirlwind of fear, confusion, and determination. Whatever was happening, I needed answers—and fast.

His free hand clenched into a fist at his side. “I don’t care what strings you have to pull—just do it.”

He ended the call abruptly, exhaling sharply before he turned, noticing me standing hesitantly behind him. His expression softened slightly, though the strain in his features remained.

“It’s a mess,” he admitted, his tone heavy. “As you already know, Tina was found in her apartment late last night. She has been shot in the head.”

I swallowed hard, the reality of his words sinking in. Shot in the head? What kind of an animal would do that to her?! Surely, Tina was not one of the best people, she was selfish and her ego reached the skies, but not even once did I wish her death. “And Jungkook? Why are they linking him to this?”

Yoongi’s gaze flicked to the side, conflicted. “He was seen leaving her building around the time they estimate it happened. There’s footage from a security camera, but it doesn’t show much. Just him walking out.”

“That doesn’t mean he did anything,” I said quickly, feeling a surge of defensiveness I didn’t expect.

“I know,” Yoongi said, his voice firm. “But right now, appearances are everything. The media doesn’t care about proof—they just want a story. And Tina being...” He hesitated, his expression darkening. “Well, let’s just say she didn’t make herself any friends around here. People are talking, and not in Jungkook’s favor.”

I was trying to process everything. Tina’s death. Jungkook being questioned. The chaos in the office. It felt like the ground beneath me was shifting, and I couldn’t find my footing.

“Do you think he did it?” I asked quietly, almost afraid of his answer.

Yoongi met my gaze, his dark eyes steady. “No,” he said firmly. “I’ve known Jungkook long enough to say that he’s not capable of something like this. But whether he did or didn’t isn’t the issue right now. It’s about what people believe.”

The weight of his words settled heavily in my chest.

“What do we do?” I asked, desperate for some kind of direction.

Yoongi sighed, “For now, we wait. The lawyers are working on getting him released, but until then, we need to keep things from spiraling. The company is already under enough scrutiny.”

I nodded, though it felt like a hollow gesture. Waiting wasn’t exactly my strong suit, especially not when someone I cared about was at the center of it all.

“What about us?” I asked hesitantly. “What can I do to help?”

Yoongi’s gaze softened, and for a moment, the weight he carried seemed to lift just slightly.

“Just stay out of the crossfire, Y/N,” he said gently. “You’ve already been through enough. Let me handle this.”

I bristled slightly at his words, not because I didn’t appreciate his concern, but because I hated feeling powerless.

“Yoongi,” I said firmly, standing. “I’m not going to sit on the sidelines while everything falls apart. If there’s anything I can do—anything—just tell me.”

He studied me for a long moment, his expression unreadable, before he finally nodded.

After leaving Yoongi’s office, I couldn’t shake the weight pressing down on me. Tina’s death had sent shockwaves through the entire company, and though I’d never liked her—she’d been awful to me more times than I could count—this wasn’t what she deserved.

The thought of her lifeless and alone in her apartment was too much. No matter how cruel she’d been, she was still a person, someone with her own struggles and stories I’d never known. She was still someone's daughter, sister, cousin. . .

I needed to talk to someone.

I found Hoseok and Rya in the break room, sitting at one of the tables near the window. Both of them looked tense, their earlier easy smiles replaced with furrowed brows and quiet whispers.

“Hey,” I said softly as I approached. They looked up, and Rya immediately slid over to make room for me.

“Y/N,” Hoseok said, his tone heavy. “How are you holding up?”

I sat down, clasping my hands together to stop them from trembling. “I’m not sure,” I admitted. “This whole thing with Tina... it doesn’t feel real. I know we didn’t get along, but...” I trailed off, unsure how to put the jumble of emotions into words.

“She was a nightmare,” Rya said bluntly, though her voice lacked its usual bite. “But I never thought... this. I mean, she could be petty and cruel, but murder?”

Hoseok frowned, leaning forward. “Nobody deserves that,” he said quietly. “Not even Tina. She could be terrible, sure, but she was still a person.”

The room fell silent for a moment, the three of us lost in our own thoughts.

“I keep thinking about the last time I saw her,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “At the ball. She seemed so... smug. Like she was on top of the world. And now, she’s gone.”

Rya crossed her arms, looking conflicted. “Do you think someone here could’ve done it? I mean, everyone knew she had enemies, but this is... extreme.”

Hoseok shook his head. “I don’t want to believe it, but with the police here, searching the office...” He trailed off, his expression darkening. “It’s hard not to wonder.”

“And Jungkook?” Rya asked, looking at me. “Do you think he’s involved?”

“No,” I said firmly, surprising even myself with the conviction in my voice. “I don’t. He might be cold and distant sometimes, but he’s not a killer. He’s... he’s better than that.”

Hoseok and Rya exchanged a glance, but neither argued.

“What happens now?” Rya asked after a moment. “If Jungkook is being investigated, what does that mean for the company? For us?”

I shook my head, feeling the weight of uncertainty settle over me again. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “But I think we need to stick together. Now more than ever.”

They both nodded, and for the first time in a long while, I felt a glimmer of solidarity between us.

As the three of us sat there, piecing together what little we knew, I couldn’t help but feel that this was just the beginning of something much bigger—and much darker—than any of us could imagine.

-

The morning was gray and oppressive, the atmosphere at Jeon Enterprises thick with unease. I was called to help clear out Tina’s desk under police supervision, a task I didn’t relish but couldn’t refuse. The sight of her empty chair sent a chill through me. Tina had been vile, no doubt about it, but to think she was gone—and in such a horrific way—made my stomach turn.

The desk was surprisingly tidy for someone as chaotic as Tina. Neat stacks of papers, pristine stationery, and a drawer full of color-coded folders. Yet as I sifted through the surface level, something felt off. It was too perfect, almost staged.

A detective stood nearby, arms crossed as he observed. “Anything that seems unusual, set it aside,” he said flatly.

Unusual? Where did I even start? Tina herself was a cocktail of ambition and cruelty, a persona that could fill a thousand file folders with secrets. As I reached into the bottom drawer, my fingers brushed against something that didn’t feel like an office supply. It was wedged under a stack of legal pads—a worn, leather-bound journal.

I glanced at the detective, who was momentarily distracted by another officer. With a quick, furtive motion, I slipped the journal into my bag. I told myself I’d hand it over eventually, but something about it called to me. A gut feeling. Tina had gone out of her way to hide this. Why?

Once I got home that evening, I pulled the journal out and set it on my kitchen table. The leather was cracked and faded, the corners worn down like it had been carried around for years. When I opened it, the faint scent of Tina’s signature perfume wafted up, mingled with something darker—ink and secrecy.

The first few pages were mundane. Meeting notes, to-do lists, sketches of presentation layouts. But as I flipped further, the tone shifted. The handwriting became erratic, the words slanting across the page with a kind of manic energy.

November 3: Another meeting with K. Promises, promises. Does he think I’m stupid? I’ll take what’s mine before he screws me over.

November 12: Y/N is such a naive little thing. Too easy to push around. If only she knew how far out of her depth she is. Pathetic.

I recoiled at the venom in her words. My name was scrawled there like a curse, surrounded by complaints about nearly everyone in the office. Tina hadn’t just disliked people—she’d despised them.

And then there were the cryptic entries:

December 1: The deal is in place. If K tries to back out, he’ll regret it.

December 15: I’m not playing games anymore. If they think they can silence me, they’re dead wrong.

The entries stopped abruptly a week before her death. My fingers trembled as I turned the pages, my heart pounding in my chest. Who was “K”? What deal? And what had Tina meant by “silence”?

Before I could dive further, my phone buzzed. The name on the screen made my blood run cold: Richard Delgrassi. My father’s old associate. 

“Mr. Delgrassi? How did you find my number?” I said cautiously, picking up the call.

“I called your father, wanted to check up on you.” his voice was smooth, but there was an edge to it, like a blade sheathed in silk. “Are you okay? I heard about your co-worker Tina.”

I swallowed thickly, deep sigh escaped my lips. "I am fine, sir. It just . . . shocked us all."

“I am really sorry to hear that, if you need anything, please let me know. If you want to leave the company and start somewhere fresh, I will help you out." Leave. Why would I want to leave? I hummed. "Of course, sir, I will let you know." I heard him shuffle on the other side of the line. "What about Jungkook, I heard he is at the police station for questioning." I started pacing back and forth, "Well, right now we don't have much information on what happens next, but hopefully police would release him soon." "I hope so too." he spoke but something in his voice didn't feel sincere. "Alright, I just wanted to check up on you. Know you have someone you can count on." "Thank you, sir..."

The line went dead before I could ask anything else. I stared at the phone, my heart hammering in my chest. 

I glanced back at the journal, its leather cover now looking more sinister than mysterious. Whatever Tina had been involved in, it wasn’t just office politics. It was something far darker, and I was smack in the middle of it.

-

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I stood in front of the police station, staring at the cold, gray walls. It didn’t feel real—none of it did. My mind kept replaying the moment I heard the news: Tina, my manager, was dead. Murdered. And Jungkook, the CEO of the company I’d worked for, was the prime suspect unofficially.

The shock of it had hit me hard. Tina’s death had left a void in our office, and the fact that Jungkook, the man I already thought I knew so well, was now behind bars... it shattered everything.

I took a deep breath before walking through the sterile halls of the station. The fluorescent lights buzzed above me, making the air feel thick and oppressive. I passed the front desk, where the officers barely acknowledged me and suddenly bumped into someone.

The impact jolted me slightly, and I looked up to find Yoongi standing there, his dark eyes sharp and unreadable as ever. He sighed heavily, as if seeing me here was the last thing he needed.

“What the hell are you doing here, Y/N?” he asked, his tone low but laced with irritation.

I straightened my posture, refusing to let him intimidate me. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m here to see Jungkook.”

Yoongi crossed his arms, his expression hardening. “You shouldn’t be here. This isn’t your fight, and it’s definitely not safe.”

“Not safe?” I scoffed, keeping my voice low so the officers milling about wouldn’t overhear. “I work at the same company, Yoongi. Tina was my manager too, in case you forgot. This affects all of us, not just you.”

He leaned in slightly, lowering his voice. “That’s exactly why you need to stay out of it. Let the police handle this. Do you even realize how messy this is going to get?”

I glared at him, my frustration boiling over. “Messy or not, I have a right to know what’s going on. Jungkook isn’t just some random CEO. He’s—”

“He’s what?” Yoongi cut in, his tone sharp. “Your boss? Your friend? Someone you think you can trust? Newsflash, Y/N: trust doesn’t mean a damn thing right now.”

I felt the sting of his words but refused to back down. “You’re unbelievable,” I shot back. “You act like you’re the only one allowed to care about what’s happening.”

Yoongi ran a hand through his messy long hair, his jaw tight. I could notice he has been sleep deprived too, the dark circles under his eyes screamed tiredness. “I care because I know what’s at stake. And you showing up here, trying to play detective, is only going to make things worse.”

I stepped closer, narrowing the gap between us. “Then why are you here, Yoongi? If you think it’s so dangerous, why aren’t you staying out of it?”

His lips pressed into a thin line, and for a moment, he didn’t answer. I saw his eyes darken and he took a sharp breath through his nose, hands now resting on his hips. "Fucking hell, why are you so stubborn?" "Maybe I am good at annoying the hell out of you." His eyes narrowed but he didn't say anything. There was a silence stretching between us before he finally turned around and headed down the hallway.

“Fine,” he muttered over his shoulder. “If you’re so hell-bent on getting involved, follow me. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

We made our way to the interrogation room, where Jungkook was being held. My heart felt like it was lodged in my throat as we approached the small, glass-walled room. Jungkook sat inside, his hands folded on the metal table in front of him. He looked tired, his usually sharp features drawn and pale.

The officer standing outside the door nodded at Yoongi, allowing us in. I hesitated for a moment before stepping inside, the air thick with tension.

Jungkook glanced up, his dark eyes meeting mine briefly before shifting to Yoongi.

“Didn’t expect visitors,” he said, his voice low and rough.

Yoongi pulled out a chair and sat down, his posture relaxed but his eyes sharp. “We’re not here to chat. What’s going on, Jungkook?”

Jungkook leaned back in his chair, his gaze flickering between the two of us. “You tell me. One minute, I’m at the office; the next, I’m hauled in here like a criminal.”

“Did you know Tina was dead?” I asked, my voice trembling slightly despite my best efforts to stay composed.

His jaw tightened, and for a moment, he didn’t answer. “I didn’t kill her, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Then why are you here?” Yoongi pressed, his tone firm.

Jungkook let out a bitter laugh. “Because someone saw me with her at the ball, and apparently, that’s enough to make me the prime suspect. Never mind that half the company was there."

I glanced at Yoongi, who didn’t break his stare. “And what about Tina? Did she say anything to you that night? Act strange? Mention something... off?”

Jungkook’s expression darkened. “She didn’t say much of anything to me. She was too busy playing her games, like always. I told everything to the police but they still keep me in this godforsaken hole.”

“Games?” I asked, leaning forward.

“Y/N, you know fully well how she was,” Jungkook said, his voice bitter. “Testing people's limits, making sure everyone knew she had the upper hand. But I didn’t play along, and maybe that pissed her off. Who knows?”

Yoongi tapped his fingers against the table, his gaze never leaving Jungkook. “You need to give us more than that. If you want us to help you, we need something concrete.”

Jungkook’s eyebrow raised, he was shifting his eyes from me and Yoongi. I looked away, avoiding his gaze. “Help me? Since when are you two playing detectives?”

I rolled my eyes. "We are trying to help you out." I snapped and Jungkook shifted in his seat, letting out a deep sigh of defeat.

The tension in the room thickened, and I felt a pang of guilt watching Jungkook sitting there, defiant but vulnerable. I glanced at Yoongi, his steely demeanor unwavering as he leaned back in his chair, arms crossed.

"Do you know for how long you will be captive here?" I finally asked. Jungkook shrugged. "No idea, until they find an evidence that the killer was not me." "What happens to the comapny now?" I pressed, "is it gonna shut down?" "I will take over." Yoongi muttered, "for the time being, until Jungkook gets released." I frowned glancing at Jungkook who hummed, I guess they managed to talk this through.  "Fine, we will keep digging and see what we will find."  "We?" My Boss frowned, "Y/N, I don't want you to get involved in this." "See?!Told her the same thingg, she doesn't listen." "Stop blabbing about the same things, I want in and I want to help. You two, adult men, act like kids. Jungkook, your situation here is not colorful at all. The quicker we get you out, the quick it would be your name to be cleared in front of the media." -

The sharp chill of the late evening air greeted us as we stepped out of the police station. I pulled my coat tighter around myself, my mind still racing with everything that had just transpired. Jungkook’s face, a mixture of frustration and vulnerability, was etched in my memory.

“I’ll call a cab,” I muttered, fishing my phone out of my bag.

Yoongi raised an eyebrow, stepping toward the parking lot. “Don’t bother. I’ll drive you.”

I stopped mid-dial and turned to him. “No offense, but I don’t think that’s a great idea.”

His expression didn’t change, but there was an edge of impatience in his voice. “Why? Because I’m not the most charming chauffeur? Or are you still mad at me for that club thing-y?”

“Neither,” I said quickly, my tone defensive. “It’s just... I don’t need you to babysit me, Yoongi. I can take care of myself.”

“Clearly,” he said dryly, gesturing to my phone. “And you’ll do that by waiting alone outside a police station at night for a cab? Genius plan.”

I opened my mouth to argue but stopped when I realized how ridiculous it would sound. With a resigned sigh, I slid my phone back into my bag. “Fine. But no commentary while you drive.”

“Deal,” he said with a small smirk, leading the way to his car.

The ride started in silence, the hum of the engine the only sound between us. Yoongi’s driving was calm and efficient, and for some reason, it annoyed me that he didn’t seem as rattled by everything as I was.

“Yesterday,” I began, breaking the silence, “when I was cleaning out Tina’s desk... I found something.”

He glanced at me briefly before returning his eyes to the road. “The journal.”

I blinked, surprised. “How did you—”

"Do you think I am that stupid?"  There was silence, he narrowed his eyes, "don't even answer this, Y/N." I chuckled at that and shrugged my shoulders. "I saw you take a suspicious looking book off Tina's desk without the police looking so..." "I figured that it's better to find who did it first with a solid evidence, before turning it to the police." I hesitated but continued, “It’s... disturbing. Tina wrote about people she hated—colleagues, clients, even... me.”

Yoongi didn’t react visibly, but I caught his fingers tightening slightly on the steering wheel.

“She was ruthless,” I continued. “Manipulating people, sabotaging careers—it’s all in there. And then there are these cryptic entries about a ‘deal.’ She doesn’t say who it was with, but it’s obvious it was risky. She mentioned being scared, like she knew it might backfire.”

Yoongi’s jaw clenched. “And now she’s dead.”

I swallowed hard, the reality of it hitting me again. “Yeah. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence. Someone she crossed or someone involved in that deal... they might have wanted her gone.”

“You said the police don’t know about it yet?” he asked, his voice tense.

“No,” I admitted. “I didn’t trust them to handle it the right way, especially with the way they’re already treating Jungkook.”

“Smart,” Yoongi said, nodding approvingly. “But if that journal is as explosive as you say, keeping it quiet might put you in danger.”

I bit my lip, anxiety bubbling in my chest. “I know. But what choice do I have? If it can help clear Jungkook’s name, I can’t just ignore it.”

Yoongi pulled into a quieter street, the streetlights casting long shadows over the car. He turned to me, his dark eyes serious. “You’re not doing this alone, Y/N. Whatever’s in that journal, we’re going to figure it out together.”

For a moment, his words surprised me. Despite his often aloof demeanor, there was an unexpected warmth in his voice.

“Thank you,” I said quietly, meaning it.

He nodded once and turned his attention back to the road, the rest of the drive passing in contemplative silence.

When we finally reached my place, he parked at the curb and leaned back in his seat. “Keep the journal close. Don’t let anyone else see it for now.”

“I won’t,” I assured him, opening the door.

As I stepped out, he called after me, “And Y/N?”

I paused, turning back.

“Be careful,” he said, his expression unreadable in the dim light.

I nodded, clutching my bag tightly as I headed up to my apartment, the weight of the journal—and everything it represented—feeling heavier than ever.

[harrystylesfan2686]

Languages

Just a snippet of something I was working on but then got bored of the concept so didn't write it but I still want everyone to read the fluf. Tell me if y'all are interested in this, maybe I'll continue it with public demand<3

Plot: reader is kinda reincarnate. She was cursed in her first life by a witch because she had an affair with the witches husband. (Don't judge okay, my girl made a mistake!!) And the curse was to be reincarnated in every lifetime with her memories of last life still intact, and to find someone she loves and watch them die (Because why not).

Masterlist

○●○●

"Do you remember the languages?"

"Of course, I do. Cursed to do so, remember?" You smirk.

"Tell me something in them." Azriel's eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"我过了愉快的一天。It means, I had a good day." He looks awed by the foreign words. And then excitedly asks for more, like a child wanting to know new facts.

You laugh and amuse him, speaking in different languages, repeating a few when he asks to learn them. Speaking in these tounges, many that you forgot even existed in different worlds, it feels nostalgic, the words awakening all the happy and sad mamories that you had buried deep in your brain.

"I also remember my first language, the one I spoke in the life I got cursed."

"Oh? Tell me." He smiles softly.

You smile at him, bluntly admiring his beautiful face.

"હું તને પ્રેમ કરું છુ."

You look deep into his eyes, speaking the truth that was buried within your heart. Even though you've said it before, it feels somehow different, even more intimate in your native language. Azriel seems to have sensed the raw emotion in your words, his face filled with adortion as he asks, "What does that mean?"

You want to answer him truly but think to mess with him a little and smirk up at him. "You are weird."

The two of you bust out laughing, looking at each other, him shaking his head in disbelief with the smile still on his lips, and your head tossed back, eyes closed in pure contentment.

"I hate you." Azriel still shakes his head, looking elsewhere for a moment, trying to look annoyed but failing.

When you finally pause laughing, you crook out a reply, "I'm sorry! You are not weird-" He finally looks at you, an eyebrow raised. "You are just- odd," He scoffs. "But good odd, I promise!" The last sentence barely understandable through your laughter.

"Well, હું તને પ્રેમ કરું છુ, too."

You freeze. All signs of amusement leaving your face as you gaze at him. Your eyes widened, mouth agaped. Hearing those words, in your language, from his mouths, ignited something in you.

Also, how did he say it without mistakes after hearing only once?

He frowns at your reaction. "What- Did I say it wrong? Oh god, I made a mistake didn't I?" He winces, thinking about all the possibilities about what he could've said to have a reaction like this.

"No,You-" Blinking at him in shock, you put your hands on his neck and gently kiss him. He instanty melts into the kiss, moving his lips with yours with passion.

You pull back after a moment and say, "You said it perfectly." You're lips curved into a soft smile.

"Yeah? Now tell me what it really means."

"Huh?"

"Considering the kiss you gave me, it can't actually mean what you said."

You laugh. "Well, guess you'll never know." He sighs dramatically, then smirks. "Then I'll just keep saying it until you tell me."

"Darling, હું તને પ્રેમ કરું છુ."

●○●○

(હું તને પ્રેમ કરું છુ. = I love you. In gujarati.)

[httpuckdrop]

ashes – day 29

"do you snore?"

you chuckled, the unanticipated question leaving you speechless. "what?"

"are you a silent sleeper?" jack's chest vibrated with his words but the side of your head kept resting on it. "do you snore? snort? talk in your sleep?"

you turn your head to look at him, chin perched on his sternum and a slight furrow in your brows. "where does this come from?"

he shrugged. "i don't know, i'm just curious." he paused, looking away for a moment. "i feel like you would look really cute sleeping."

"i'm sure you snore really loudly."

jack gasped, gaze falling to you again. "i do not!"

"that's definitely the reaction of someone who sounds like a lion when they snore."

he looked almost offended, and yet he was smiling. "i only snore a little."

"sure."

another couple of silent moments followed until he spoke up again. "you didn't answer my question."

"do you really want the truth?" you asked. he nodded instantly and you placed your hands on his chest, pushing yourself up to sit on him. "you're really sure you can handle it?"

"i'm really sure."

you took a deep breath. "well… i don't actually sleep that well." a sliver of confusion entered his expression. you looked away. "i get a lot of anxiety when i sleep. i get nightmares, i have a hard time falling asleep, and…"

you weren't sure what made you comfortable talking so openly about this all of a sudden. this bravery came out of nowhere, but something about jack made you feel so calm. you trusted him deeply even after such a short amount of time.

one of his hands came up to rest on your bare thigh, thumb drawing circles into your skin. "i'm sorry for asking, i had no idea."

you shook your head, feeling surprisingly emotional. but you tried to force the feelings deep down again, to where you usually keep them, locked away in a box in some dark corner of your soul. you couldn't allow yourself to let him in more.

you blinked a few times to keep the tears back. "it's alright."

"i really hope i'm not overstepping here, but," he pushed himself up to a sitting position too, his hands cradling your hips. "i could be there for you, if you want. when you sleep. i could hold you, help calm you…"

you hummed at the suggestion. "you're really sweet." you took a deep breath, hands landing on his shoulders. "but i don't think it would work."

"why?"

wanting to find a way to occupy half your mind, to not make your brain think too deeply about this and get too emotional, you let your fingers reach up to play with the hair in the back of his neck. "anytime i sleep in a new bed, or in a new room, or with a new person, it gets worse. it's like my body fights back, in some way."

jack nodded, though he didn't quite understand. he hadn't known you for a very long time, but he felt a strong need to protect you, to take care of you. he wanted to shake you and tell you that he could handle it, he could handle you, if only you gave him a chance. but for now, he had to settle for baby steps. "thank you for letting me know." his voice was sweeter than sugar and his hands squeezing your skin warmed your heart. you leaned forward, nuzzling your face into his neck as his arms draped around you, pulling you close.

maybe one day, you thought to yourself.

but what you told jack wasn't the entire truth. there was another reason why you couldn't spend the night with him.

you weren't sure if you could control your heart if you were to feel his skin against yours all night, hear his raspy voice first thing in the morning, and have him make you breakfast like a real boyfriend.

spending the night is something real couples do – and there's just too much in your past that's in the way of allowing you something like that right now.

[zorrasucia]

Congrats on 300💕 & thank you for your fics

Sooo many prompts that it’s hard to choose, but these spoke to me, but whatever inspires you most:)

Carmy x reader

❛ say you want me, and i’m yours. ❜

❛ you look like you were jealous. ❜

❛ there’s so many things i wanna do to you. ❜

Hi, Anon! Thank you for reading 💜🥺

I chose ❛ there’s so many things i wanna do to you❜ for a established relationship Carmy x Reader phone sex moment 😉 I hope you like it!

"Hey."

"Carmy," you replied sweetly. You had rushed to call him as soon as you read his text. are u awake? "Can't sleep?"

He let out a sigh. "Long day."

"Bad day?" you asked.

"Busy. And everyone was acting like a fucking asshole, even me. Especially me," he confessed. In the background you could hear the tattletale crack of aluminum foil and plastic as he popped some chewing gum.

"Trying to quit smoking again?"

"Always," he mumbled.

"Are you actually trying to quit for your palate and whatever or are you avoiding Richie?"

"What do you mean?" he replied a little defensively.

"Well, you usually talk with him during your smoke breaks. And... I don't know, he understands you. Maybe you don't want that right now," you guessed.

There was a long silence as Carmy took in what you said.

"How do you do that?" he asked abruptly.

"Do what?"

"See through all my bullshit," he explained. "I didn't even- I mean holidays are the worst and he'll definitely talk about Mikey at some point and how I didn't come home enough-" he paused. "I just don't want to feel like that again, you know?"

"Maybe talking with him can help," you said. "Maybe he feels like shit about it too. You both miss him, right?"

"Yeah..."

"You can't avoid him forever, Carm."

"I know," you heard him sigh. "Fuck, I miss you."

"Miss you too, baby," you replied softly, lying back on the bed of your childhood bedroom. "It's only a few more days."

"Are you having a nice time?" he asked gently.

"Yeah, it's, uh... Holidays with family are always a little weird, right?" you shrugged. "Got you a present, by the way."

"Yeah?" you could hear his smile.

"Yeah. Top secret," you giggled. "I also bought lingerie on discount - I don't know if that counts as a present for you or for me."

"Fuck," Carmy sighed again. "I already said I miss you. You don't need to say shit like that."

"There's a long weekend coming up," you appeased him. "We can make up for lost time."

"There's so many things I wanna do to you," he rasped.

"Yeah?" you tried to hide just how flustered his voice was making you. "What kind of things?"

"Fuck, baby..."

You could picture him laying on the couch, head over the armrest, blushing.

"Come on, I want to know," you encouraged him, you could only hear static for a little while. "It'll be fun. Like a wishlist but sexy," you teased. "I can touch myself while you tell me."

He coughed - you had taken him by surprise. You had surprised yourself too to be honest, but it was exciting and oddly liberating to only listen to him, the way his voice and breathing betrayed his emotions.

"You're going to kill me one of these days," he said after he recovered from his coughing fit.

"You don't sound too upset about it," you commented. You didn't pressure him - if he wanted to forget the whole thing, you'd let him.

He took a deep inhale. "I- uh- I wanna eat you out."

You let out a shaky exhale, a familiar warmth in your belly as you thought of Carmy between your legs.

"How?"

"I want you to sit on my face..." he said.

"Fuck, Carmy," you inhaled sharply, your free hand going into your underwear, touching your folds and finding them damp already. "I would love that. Fuck. Your tongue always feels so good on me."

"The way you taste. Fuck," he panted. Was he touching himself too? "I always end up with my face covered in you. My chin, my nose..."

"I love when your nose- Fuck, I think about it for days. Just your pretty nose making me shake and moan," it was so easy to tell him embarrassing truths when your fingers were playing with your clit, making you roll your eyes.

"Jesus," Carmy groaned. Oh, he was definitely touching himself. "I'll make you cum like that. I want your thighs shaking around my face. I want to hold you with both hands while you ride me, use me."

"Fuck," you moaned, your pussy clenching once around your middle finger, the heel of your hand pressing on your clit.

"What do you want, baby? What do you want to do to me?" there was an urgency to his voice. You liked him like that, a little needy.

"I want to touch your cock, make you feel good with my hands-" you said, putting a second finger inside you and moaning.

"Yeah," he was breathing heavily into the speaker.

"I want you to beg for it, Carm," you confessed. "I want to make you feel so fucking good and stop right before you cum. Just keep going until you can't take it anymore."

"Holy shit," he gasped. "And then? After I beg?"

You started fucking into your hand, writhing on the bedsheets.

"After you beg, I'll give it to you," you said simply, hearing as Carmy groaned lewdly. "Let you fuck me however you want, as hard as you want. You can cum as long as you cum inside me."

"Shiiiiit," he keened and the sound took you right over the edge, pussy fluttering around your fingers as he let out low grunts. You pictured him, face red and hair sweaty, eyes glazed and8 breathing heavy, ropes of cum painting his stomach. You sighed, feeling electricity all over, a gentle warmth caressing your skin.

"Fuck," Carmy exhaled on the other side of the line. "You meant that?"

"Yeah," you let out a nervous laugh. "You?"

"Yeah," he replied.

"I think we have our weekend planned out, then."

[nthspecialll]

Colm's otherworldliness.

When it comes to Kieran's involvement with the O'Driscolls I have always been a firm believer of him not telling the whole truth but I could not place my finger on it, however I finally came acorss the missing piece, a camp interaction I had not heard before.

I had just returned to camp and saw Sean and Kieran sitting by the fire, I didn't think much of it but merely joined them, preparing for Sean to get all up in Kieran's face about his pronouciation of Colm or Colom, however, instead Sean asked Kieran "so tell me, what is that Colom or Colm, whatever he likes to call himself, like?"

Now Kieran gave a reply I found surprising. He had previously stated that he did not know Colm, that he barely spent any time with him and that Colm did not even know his name, yet here with Sean he tells him this: "When he is happy, you are happy... When he is sad, you are upset and you dont even know why. When he is in a good mood and he talks to you it is like the sun is shining, but when he is mad at you, he is like the devil. He makes his people into monsters, makes them love only him. It doesn’t matter that he is mad as long as it isnt to you. He scares me. I mean you guys scare me too, but you... you are human, he is... It is hard to explain."

This convosation is so interesting to me because it reveals so much stuff. Colm is very charismatic, he is not just a greedy brute who takes advandage of his people, this is a man who is able to manipulate and groom people into following him blindly to the point that they will immediately feel what he does without even knowing why. This is a man who gives you the highest highs you could ever experience merely by talking to you, yet makes you feel the worse you ever had merely because he is mad at you. He makes you feel ashamed, guity and terrified even if you did nothing wrong.

He makes people mosters, yet at the same time he is able to tame them and make sure they react to him only, it is blind devotion and an eager to please. In a way they remind me of Bill.

Bill is so eager to please Dutch that he is willing to do nearly anything, even putting himself in situations he is bound to fail (the ball) because there is a slight chance of him impressing Dutch. He follows Dutch's opinions blindly, immediately agreeing that Marston was the rat without even thinking about it for a second, exploding at any of the others for questioning him.

What makes this kind of relationship so special is the fact that Bill does not see Dutch as an equal, he sees him as something else, just like Colm's followers does to Colm. They are scared of Colm, yet they follow him either way because they are addicted to those few moments where Colm makes the sun shine down on them.

There is something so absolutely astunishing about this line "I mean you guys scare me too, but you... you are human, he is... It is hard to explain," and I am not even sure I can properly word it. Kieran, even Kieran who apperantly did not even know Colm, sees Colm as something other human, better than human. It is so interesting to me.

Either way, I was not the only one who noticed this inconsistancy because Arthur goes "I thought you barely knew Colm," where Kieran jerks up and quickly goes "um, yeah, I just heard plenty!" Now the emotion, the longing yet confusion, in Kieran's voice when he spoke of Colm would not match up with merely hearing, which Arthur clearly also thought as he went "is that right?"

To be honest, I do not blame Kieran for lying at first, if Bill Williamson was standing with gelding thongs to my non existant parts I would also lie, but it is interesting to learn the truth.

Now at some point in this convosation Sean actually said something along the lines of "well Colm sounds like a self happy idiot," and I actually think quite the opposite. Colm sounds terrifyingly smart that while driven by greed, knows how to restrain himself.

[rukkiya]

goodbye isn’t for forever

(al haitham x reader, zhongli x reader (separate)

༻ part 2 to take it back༺

al haitham ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

It's been two weeks since you’ve left.

The once lively apartment Al Haitham had taken for granted was no more, it was far too quiet for the scholar.

The silence was far too loud. He couldn’t concentrate on his work.

The same work that had led him to push you away.

He’s seen you around of course, he checks up on you and makes sure you’re doing well through mutual friends or passing by shops/places you’d both go together.

He hasn’t slept properly since you’ve left, he doesn’t remember the last time he was alone in bed without you next to him.

He thinks back to the times you’d wake up at night and get him from his study, dragging him to bed because he has to be up at the crack of dawn because you wanted him to sleep, because you cared. Now he’s stays wide awake, not worrying about work or other matters for once, instead he was worried about you.

No one has brought it up to him though, they couldn't.

He thought he was hiding it well, keeping it masked under his unrelenting face but the emotions he felt were being shown through his eyes.

During Al Haithams meeting with Cyno he was stammering, taking one too many pauses because he couldn't concentrate on anything. Cyno merely eyes the two wedding bands linked around a silver chain sitting on top of the scholar's chest but says nothing of it, well that is because he already knows.

“Have you tried talking things out? He looks like shit.” Cyno sits next to you, handing you a bottle of water sighing when he sees the corners of your lips tug down at the mention of Al Haitham.

“I can’t, after what he’s done. What makes you think that he wants me in his life anyways? Look, he was the one who threw his wedding band at me. I didn’t do it, he did.” You lay your head on the table huffing as Cyno sighs again.

He doesn’t like seeing you this way. He’s not the most fond of Al Haitham but seeing him down, with an expression other than a punchable face, it actually makes Cyno feel bad for him. You both being this torn was more on you guys than you expected.

“You miss him, you miss him more than you're letting on. From what I can see he misses you too.” Cyno leans back on his seat, you slightly turn your forehead on the table to glance at him, seeing that knowing look he always wears when he knows he’s right.

“Y/n, for as long as I’ve known Al Haitham I’ve never heard him stumble on his words or look worse than now. You might not accept that because yeah you’re right it is his fault. Everything he’s said and done to you isn’t excusable by a long shot but if he really truly meant it, he wouldn't be beating himself over it this bad.” Cyno explains, putting his hand on top of your head and ruffling your hair making you grumble and turn away.

“I’m scared, we’ve been together for so long, married for just as long and for him to do that I- I can’t just let it go so easily you know? He’s probably held it in for so long and he finally spoke the truth, what if I’ve been a hindrance this whole-“

“Stop.” Cyno clicks his tongue, making his hand into a fist and softly bonking your head.

“You always do that. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Listen, you said it right now didn’t you hear? You’ve been together and married for so long, don't you think he would’ve told you beforehand? If anything you made him more tolerable, he seemed content and happy with you. But right now he seems lost.” Cyno removes his hand from your head and crosses his arms.

“But I did something just as bad Cyno I took mines off too.” You turn your head to face Cyno again, feeling your voice crack just remembering how Al Haitham’s face looked completely horrified when you did that.

“Go home and you’ll see. Go home to him y/n he’ll have it waiting for you I can guarantee.” Cyno smiles at you knowing look in his eyes, he knows Al haitham wants you home just as bad, he’s keeping your ring on him for when you do come back.

Your chest feels heavy, your hands are sweaty as you stare at the familiar wooden door to your shared house with Al Haitham.

It’s only been two weeks, it feels like forever since you've walked out. You didn't even bother getting your things.

You raise your hand and hold it up, contemplating as to whether or not this was a good idea. But you feel your knuckles tap against the wooden door a few times and freeze, holding still to hear any movement from within.

Nothing.

No footsteps, no moving, no talking.

You do it again only to get the same empty response.

You feel your stomach drop.

Is he ignoring me? Did I really mess it up? Why did I leave like that? You feel your eyes burn as you continue to state at the door, mind thinking the worst.

‘Y-Y/n?” Al Haitham whispers from behind you.

He blinks a few times, making sure he's not hallucinating. There's been a few incidents where he thought you came back home a few days ago and it wasn't you, he didn't want to get his hopes up.

You blink at the door and hold your breath, slowly turning your head to look back at a distraught looking Al Haitham.

You open your mouth to say sorry, to apologize for leaving him when you should have just talked things out but nothing comes out, instead a small whimper escapes as your vision gets more blurry. His eyes, the look in his eyes made your throat swell. When you first met him it was so hard to read him, to tell his emotions but the look in his eyes right now says everything.

This tears Al Haitham from the inside out, his long legs walk up the small step to your house and he opens his arms as he nears you immediately wrapping them around you and pulling you in close, his eyes blown wide.

“It's you- you're here I didnt think you were- I thought you weren't coming back.” He exhales a shaky breath as he brings you closer, one hand cradling your head and other pulling you up from your torso.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for what I've said to you. It's inexcusable to say it's because of my work when you were just trying to help, you always do and I need that, I need you here to keep me grounded to keep me sane, you're anything but a hindrance, you help me in ways I never thought anyone could. Please stay. Don't leave me again.” he pulls back, hands moving to hold your face as he rests his forehead on yours.

“I will marry you over and over again if I have to prove myself.” one of his hands moves from your cheek, grabbing your hand in his and placing it on his chest where the necklace with the rings are.

“Haitham I'm sorry I left you alone I should've just listened.” you grab his hand that was holding your cheek, closing your eyes at the warmth you've missed so much feeling the tears you were holding slide down your face. Al Haitham only shakes his head

“Don't apologize to me. No one should have to hear that. Be treated that way, especially you.” he feels his hands shake slightly, with you in his hold. He feels like it's fake, like it's another one of the dreams he's been having since you've left him like he's going to wake up and you're still going to be gone.

“Please don't leave me, I need you home to keep me grounded. I missed you more than you can imagine.” He hugs you again, pulling your head into his chest and closing his eyes.

Throughout all the time you've been with him you've never seen him so on edge, look so scared. Let alone be this affectionate, you can feel it in the way he holds you , the way he speaks, he truly feels bad for what he said and done. Though you still feel torn, hurt from his actions you know you can't leave him again as you've missed him just as much.

As he holds you close, breathes in your comforting scent that he's come to love so much he vows to not take your caring for granted, that he needs you here more than anything. That he isn't himself without you.

zhongli⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

Zhongli left, he’s gone.

You’re more than sure he’s moved on, found someone better who manages to actually care for their own well being and who doesn’t stress him out too much the way you did.

It’s what he deserves, anyways all you were doing was weighing him down, putting him under constant stress and worry to the point he couldn’t take it anymore.

It’s you, you’re the one who pushed him away the only good thing you had going on is now never coming back

Though he's been gone, Zhongli kept his word, he’s kept an eye on you since the day he left you.

A whole year had flown by agonizingly slow. It was driving him crazy as more time passed he grew worried you didn’t want him back.

During the duration of the year he’s noticed how you care more about your well being more. You took a break from adventuring and weren't as reckless. You started to work at your fathers local bakery to get back on your feet as you recovering from your injuries, Zhongli was relieved.

Though you seemed fine on the outside you only grew to despise yourself more than you ever had before since he’s left. You knew you didn’t deserve him and having him leave just proved your hurt heart more to that fact.

Zhongli kept his word, still watching over you from far away places, making sure to keep out of your line of view but more than anything he wanted to go back to you, wanted to go back home with you where you both belong.

The year with him gone was a process, one that took your mind into a very dark place.

You were hurt for so long, then you grew angry only for it all to ball up into self hatred.

During your time away from him you’ve reflected, taken care of yourself physically but mentally you were drained, it was constant nagging going on. Zhongli would be the one to quell those thoughts but you only had yourself, it was getting harder as days went on.

“I can’t stand seeing you beaten and bruised yet you are all the time.”

“You’re too much for me to handle.” Zhongli sighs, finally having enough, leaving his wedding band behind and walking out the door, never turning back once.

You shoot up from bed, looking around the room as you try to regulate your breathing, seeing the sun peeking in through your curtains.

Your hand reaches over to the ever so cold side of your bed and you're thrown back to reality. You mind immediately fogging with thoughts you don't want to hear.

You were in a constant brain fog, always lost in your own thoughts.

To the point it was was starting to become a problem, you weren't aware of lots of things most of the time. Not paying attention to certain things that could easily turn dangerous.

You got ready for work as usual, made your way down to the bakery, your mind racing a thousand thoughts per second.

“Hey y/n right?” A regular that you see buying bread at your fathers bakery stops you just blocks away from the bakery.

You turn around and he walks closer to you, greeting you with a smile.

“Good Morning.” you force your lips to turn upwards.

“Your father told me to tell you to pick up some things from my house for ingredients before you go in, it's just down the street.” he points down the road to a small house by the mountain.

“Alright, I'll go grab it right now. Is it a lot of supplies?” you ask, walking down the path thinking nothing of the situation.

“Not much but I think you’ll need an extra hand if anything.” The says, following a few feet behind you, looking around the surrounding area.

Zhongli was on his usual morning stroll, passing by your fathers bakery to make sure you get to work safe when he sees a random man stop you.

He stops walking when he sees you walk the complete opposite way from the bakery, following the man down the road. He feels a familiar feeling rising in his chest once again, your putting yourself in situations you don't see are clear signs of danger.

“Yeah, I'll help you bring them back up, it's just a few bags of flour and sugar right?” you ask, the man only hums in response, walking slowly behind you. You don't think about it, instead you continue your regular pace, already dreading the day ahead of you. you know you won't be able to concentrate much already feeling drained from getting up from bed alone.

Though it was morning, the end of the street was oddly quiet for this busy part of town.

Every stall around here is usually set up by now.

You near the small house and walk up the porch, turning and waiting for the guy behind you to open it though you notice his whole demeanor change. He was much closer now looking around him before looking back at you, reaching in his pocket to grab his keys.

He walks past you and unlocks the door holding it open, mentioning for you to walk in first, so you do, hearing the door behind you close and the sound of clicking, like he was locking it behind him.

“Why're you-”

“I brought them, our deal is done.” the man clears his throat, looking directly behind you.

You freeze, looking at the man with wide eyes when you realize what he said. Feeling the hairs on the back of your neck stand as you slowly turn around seeing a group of treasure hoarders standing directly behind you.

You start to back away, reaching into your pocket and getting the small dagger you carry but feeling someone grab your arm before you can pull it out.

“No no no, don't play dirty now we just want to talk. Your father makes a good amount of money in this town, he'll surely pay a good ransom to get his precious kid back now, won't he?” a treasure hoarder laughs, squeezing your wrist making the dagger drop from your grasp.

“My father pays for my brother's medical bills. Please don't make him pay for something he can’t afford. I have money, you can take all mine and let me go. I won't say a thing.” you look at the treasure hoarder standing in the middle of the room and hear his laughter boom through the small house.

“You’re kidding me right?” his hand brings up the ax he was holding and takes a step towards you.

You don't want this, to make someone else suffer because of you. Not your own family after they are already dealing with so much.

Zhongli waited a few minutes by the house you entered and saw no sign of you coming back out, he didn't want to interfere. He has no right. He's been so scared to go back to you, he regrets leaving. He knows he shouldn't have done it that way, he should've stayed, helped you another way. He doesn't think you'd want him back after so long, he has no right to be checking on you. You've probably well moved on.

But he can't help but worry, still check on you because he still loves and cares for you, just like he said he would the day he married you. But he left you, walked out the door, left his ring but worst of all left you all alone.

He feels something off though. From the looks of it the man you were talking to wasn't someone you knew personally, he could tell from our body language, the way you distanced yourself from him. If it was a friend of yours or someone you were close you’d look more relaxed and wouldn't be so tense or distance yourself so far from them when talking.

They're taking too long. Are they ok? Zhongli thinks, eyeing the small house. Contemplating as to whether or not he should go and check.

“Listen, your father gives us the money for you and nothing else got it.” the treasure hoarder leans down to your height and you narrow your eyes at him.

“My father won't give you a penny understand? Do your worst.” You dare the man in front of you seeing his smile drop.

You stay still, seeing a small open window to the right of you from your peripherals. The dagger you dropped right next to your foot.

“You testing me kid?” the treasure hoarder steps even closer making you shrink into yourself.

You quickly duck down, sweeping your leg under the mas feet and grabbing the dagger next to you hearing a thud, you don't even turn around as you hear multiple footsteps closing in as you run to the window, your arms and torso getting out before you feel a pair of hands grab your leg.

You feel your body get pulled back in instantly, your body hitting the ground with a loud thud.

“Donp tugh mi (don’t touch me)!” you try to scream but a hand muffles you before you do.

The loud ruckus alerts Zhongli and he doesn't even take a second to think. He's outside the door in an instant before his brain can register what he's doing.

A soft knock at the door stops everyone making the guy on top of you press his hand harder against your mouth.

“Don't think about it.” he looks down at you, voice dripping with malice.

Another knock at the door and the man on top of you signal for his subordinates to stay quiet.

Zhongli was giving them a chance to prove themselves but the second time he knocked and no one answered he had enough.

It grew completely silent, the sound of footsteps walking away was heard before the door and its hinges flew into the house.

A familiar silhouette stood in the doorway and you couldn't blink, you had to be hallucinating now.

Why is Zhongli here? How did he know I was here? Your mind halts seeing his eyes glow gold.

The man on top of you was thrown off in a second as a flash of gold passed by you, the other men being knocked to the ground seconds after as everything slowed down your eyes following the gold flash going across the room.

Everything goes quiet once again. The treasure hoarders in there were now all on the floor knocked unconscious as Zhongli stood in the middle of the room, chest heaving up and down as he glares at the foolish mortals who dared to try and hurt you.

You slowly sit up and back away, not really knowing what to say to him because why? Of all time why is he here? How'd he know you were here?

He hears the floor behind him creak and turns, golden eyes narrowing at you until he comes to realize it's you, you're ok.

When he broke the door down and saw the man holding you down his mind went into autopilot, he hasn't acted out on emotion in so long, it took over him before he could control it.

“Why're you here?” you ask, looking away from him grabbing the dagger and putting it back into your pocket.

He steps forward and you step back, the anger you've been holding back is starting to surface.

“Why did you follow him? Do you trust this man this much to have him bring you here and-”

“Dont, I don't need another lecture from you.” you almost laugh. After all this time away this is what he starts with?

“Yeah I know, take care of myself, work things out, I remember trust me, after all that's the last thing you told me before leaving remember? Right now I don't have time to hear it, I have to go to work.” You don't even bother looking back at him as you walk past to leave.

“I'm sorry.” He stares at you as you stop, seeing you shake your head and look down.

“I shouldn't have left you alone, it wasn't a good way to prove myself, I just wanted you to-”

“Zhongli please don't….” you sigh, feeling the heavy feeling settling in your chest, turning to look back at him, your eyes widening when you see one of the men he knocked out get up behind him.“GET DOWN!”

Everything moved too fast, your legs, the man behind him, but Zhongli didn't move fast enough.

Old habits die hard. You feel tired from everything, thinking too much, getting up today.

Zhongli feels the weight of your body go limp as you fall forward an arrow sticking out of your back, the man he had knocked out earlier standing directly behind, wide eyes looking up at Zhongli as he realizes who exactly it was.

“I didn't mean to get them. I wasn't going to hurt them. I swear, please don't hurt me.” the man coweres as his legs give out under him. Zhongli only stares down at you in his arms, seeing your eyes fighting to stay open.

“You're going to leave again aren't you?” your voice cracks and Zhongli feels his breath hitch, the pain in his heart worsening, you think he'd leave you alone like this?

“I'm not leaving anytime soon my love, just give me a second and i'll take you to Dr Baizhu right now, whatever you do dont turn around and keep your eyes open for me.” He picks you up, carrying you to the corner of the house facing you away from the man behind you, leaning down and giving your head a kiss before standing back up.

It all feels like a dream, this can't be real, you feel far too sleepy for it to be.

Zhongli summons his polarm and stands back up, slowly walking to the man who hurt you.

You couldn't do what he wanted again, you tried but your eyes keep closing from sheer exhaustion, the last thing you heard before completely blacking out was screaming coming from behind you, the same flash of gold blinding you once again before you felt your own body go limp, succumbing into the darkness.

◇──◇─────◇──◇

authors note: hello lovelies!! ◝꒰´꒳`∗꒱◟ ohmygoodness I’m so sorry for how long I took to write a second part to this T~T I’ve just been pretty busy but I’ve been getting more inspo for more stories that I’m so freaking excited to share with y’all! :D but alas part two of take it back is here! I had to make zhongli’s part angsty and another open ending- IMSORRY ik I need to stop LOLOL but I do hope you all enjoy and that I wrote it angsty enough for y’all (some of y’all told me to make it more angsty LMAOO you all like getting your feelings hurt just like I do >.< please make sure you are all taking care and staying safe ^~^<3 (this isn’t edited so apologies for any errors!!)

@ilocqua @2hilarious4u @esthelily @cypressus-lunis @taetaebunni @coruscale @wearetherealarm @chiyukin @lum1nesc3nce @anxietysslave @starlightaura @duckyyyx @dreamlessnight @myimymy

[lionhanie]

han taesan ; back 2 u (part five)

you can’t help but find yourself coming back to taesan everytime

this is part five of my series, back 2 u! read the previous part here!

fuckboy!taesan x fem!reader, college au

...featuring! BFFS jaehyun + woonhak, fuckboy leehan (AND he's taesan's roommate), and lovely roomies sungho + riwoo <3

word count: 4.3k

warnings: ANGST 😅, mentions/use of weed + alcohol, cursing, enhypen heeseung mentioned (he's a fuckboy too shocker, be warned when he shows up tho he's kind of an asshole!)

a/n: SHE'S BAAAAAACKKKKKKK!!!!

reblogs ↺  + feedback always appreciated!

Immediately after turning around, you could feel the hot tears welling up in your eyes against your will, threatening to fall. It was hard to stop yourself from crying on your way back to the apartment. At this point in the night, there weren’t many people still wandering around campus. Rather, you were left with only yourself and the warm glow emanating from the streetlamps, illuminating your path back home. If you didn’t have a roommate waiting up for you, you were sure you could’ve sat crying on the curb until the sun rose. 

It was unclear what exactly triggered you to lash out on him like that, but you didn’t regret it, despite how shitty you currently felt. You were unaware of the pent up frustration bubbling within you, yet you wouldn’t dare take back any of the words said back there. Fuck you, Han Taesan. 

They weren’t tears of sadness, no, they felt more like anger; Anger that stemmed from the realization that Taesan lives under the impression that his actions do not affect the people around him. The realization that Taesan is a hypocrite who cannot accept the fact that he could ever be in the wrong. The realization that Taesan is nothing but a ridiculously clueless boy who didn’t care to acknowledge his flaws. 

You felt like an idiot, really. Han Taesan made you feel stupid; he always managed to do so when it came to things that actually mattered. It was stupid to let him use you for his own entertainment when you knew the truth; the signs were everywhere– yet you would turn a blind eye. Because you wanted to believe that you could trust your heart. The same heart that told you Taesan was capable of seeing you as more than any other girl on his roster. It was stupid for you to think that for you, he would be different. Don’t lie to yourself like that. 

If all of your suspicions were right – if he actually saw you as more than a friend – you knew it would never work. Because Han Taesan is a man who knows the power he holds over others, and he thrives on it. You can tell he loves feeling like he can get everything he wants with just a handsome smile and a few sweet words, devoid of any real meaning, of course. Tonight, you learned something new: The one thing Taesan couldn’t control was his emotions. So what does he do about it?

He runs, avoiding them like the plague. 

You were far from confident in how much you actually knew about him, if any of it was true to begin with, but it was terribly easy to see right through him when it came to this understanding. It was silly to hope that an emotionally closed-off man would treat you the way you deserved to be treated. It was irritating to be so sure that Taesan truly saw you as something more, and yet he was painfully oblivious to his own feelings.

And despite it all, the feeling rumbled deep inside of you, no matter how many times you tried to tell yourself you were wrong, his actions spoke louder than his words, what everyone said about him is real and you know it… You still wanted to believe Han Taesan was more than a fuckboy.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

It was difficult for you to tell anyone about what happened two weeks ago with Taesan, because quite frankly, you were embarrassed. Even though you finally got out what you’ve been itching to say to his face, it’s hard to feel like you weren’t overreacting. After all, you two weren’t dating. You were never anything like that, right? Just two friends with some tension, that’s all. There’s no reason to be so hung up on a delusion perpetuated by the questions you answered on your own accord; purely baseless assumptions about the person you thought Han Taesan could be. 

Life went on, though. Not that it was deemed over the second you got your feelings hurt, but it definitely caused a rift in your daily routine. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t think about your last conversation with Taesan at least once a day. No word from him at all either– not that you were expecting any. If there’s one thing you knew for certain about Taesan, it was that he’ll disappear when you want to see him most. 

You’re not exactly sure how Minnie convinced you to come to a party when you were firm on not going; it probably didn't help that you had Riwoo and Sungho practically begging you to show up to one of their parties just one more time before finals. All the moping you’ve been doing recently certainly wasn’t helping you get over what happened any time soon. You weren’t about to be a party pooper just because you didn’t want to risk seeing Taesan later tonight – it was far easier to suck it up and go along with Minnie rather than go through all the trouble of explaining everything that’s happened until now to your unknowing roommate. 

Riwoo and Sungho knew exactly how to have fun, so you anticipated something a lot bigger coming from the pair hosting. The party was not as bad as you thought it would be– Not that you feared you weren’t going to enjoy yourself tonight, but it was definitely more lowkey than some of the other outings you’ve been to. Probably because Sungho didn’t want to go all out knowing he’d have to do a bulk of the post-function cleaning right before exam season. You wouldn’t be able to handle anything more than what was going on around you in your current mental state, that’s for sure. 

Even so, there were still unfamiliar faces scattered around the apartment as you practically hugged the walls, hard seltzer barely touched in your hands. Minnie was off socializing somewhere; you’d normally be right by her side, more than willing to engage in any of the side quests she found for you to tackle together, but you weren’t feeling up to the adventure tonight. 

You were listening into a conversation Riwoo was currently having with some of his other friends around their coffee table, laughing along and periodically chiming in whenever you pleased. The buzz from the few drinks you had earlier was definitely helping the nerves you first entered with; you hated to admit it, but socializing was far easier with the help of a substance. It’s easy to blend into the background here, finding yourself satisfied as you sink into their plush couch. That is, until the free space next to you was filled by a stranger, smiling at the people across the table before claiming the empty seat as his own. 

“Sorry, is it cool if I sit here?” It’s funny how he only asks after he’d sat down, as if he knew you wouldn’t turn him away once you saw his face. He’s ridiculously good-looking, handsome features prominent even in the dimly lit room. Maybe it’s the effect of the drinks you had earlier, but his cologne is making you dizzy in all the right ways. You nod, scooting over slightly to make more room for him on the couch. 

He turns to face you, gaze burning into the side of your head, effectively pulling your attention away from the other discussion at hand. “I feel like I’ve seen you before,” he comments. The eye contact is oddly intense, and he doesn’t shy away from it whatsoever. “I’m Heeseung.” He extends a hand for a handshake, oddly formal considering you’re currently at a party, but you take his hand in yours regardless.. 

“Y/N,” You lower your head slightly, giving him a small smile that he’s happy to return. His touch lingers on yours for longer than it probably should’ve, a smirk plastered on his face the entire time. He knows what he’s doing. It wouldn’t hurt to have a little fun flirting with a handsome guy, especially if you’re trying to get over Han Taesan. Just for tonight.

“So, who do you know here?” Heeseung’s eyes scan the circle of people around you, raising an eyebrow at you alongside his question. You motion your head towards Riwoo, who’s animatedly re-telling a story you’ve heard a billion times to everyone. 

“My roommate’s floating around here somewhere, too.” It’s hard to ignore his staring as he watches you take a sip from the can you’re holding. “You?” 

“No one, really. I came along with some friends, I think they’re friends with Riwoo too,” He hums, running his hands through his hair before he redirects his arm around your shoulder. A cliché move, but even the oldest tricks in the book would work with a guy as good-looking as him. “I’d like to know you, though.” Your cheeks heat up unwillingly, the room suddenly feeling far too warm for your liking. 

The two of you stay like that, alternating between Riwoo’s storytime and your own side conversations, finding yourself leaning into his touch as the night goes on. It wasn’t anything particularly butterfly-inducing, more like the regular ice-breakers you go through whenever you’re faced with someone new, but talking to Heeseung was oddly refreshing. He was an incredibly attractive guy, and charismatic at that, anyone would be happy beneath his arm at a party.

“Ah, I remember where I’ve seen you before,” You tilt your head up at him; you were sure you'd never seen him prior to tonight. “You came to one of our smoke sessions, yeah?” Our? The only other smoke sesh you've been at recently was at Leehan and Taesan's house... Thinking back to it, you vaguely recall hearing his name amongst the names Taesan listed out on that fateful night. Ah, that must be who Heeseung tagged along with. 

And suddenly you no longer wanted to continue this conversation; the newfound connection linking you two together made you fidget in your seat. Of course Heeseung’s friends with them– You should’ve figured from the way he was able to sweet talk you so fast. (For some reason they all happen to be good at doing so.) You didn’t want to be involved with anyone in that circle any time soon, and certainly not now.    

“I liked that lil’ stunt you pulled with Leehan, doll.” Heeseung’s hand is cold as he reaches to cup your face briefly, bringing his index finger under your chin as he forces you to hold his stare. “Wonder what else you can do, hm?” His eyes flicker down to your lips, leaning in ever so slightly before dropping his hold on you. 

You’re glad he seems to enjoy the elements of a chase– Heeseung doesn’t object when you get up to “get another drink,” instead opting to watch you like a predator would its prey as you make your way over to the kitchen. He must think you’re about to fall straight into his hands, melting to putty as he continues his never-ending barrage of flirty comments in an effort to take you home with him later tonight. 

You’re quick to take refuge in there, grabbing yourself a bottle of water from the fridge and chugging down a third of it in a feeble attempt to cool down. Now would be a good time to know where your roommate is– it’d be a lot easier getting away from Heeseung’s advances if you had someone else with you. You feel around your back pocket for your phone, only to find… Nothing. Fuck, it probably fell out while you were sitting on the couch. 

In your attempts to leave, you’re met with a pair of broad shoulders blocking the door frame: Heeseung.  “Thought you were trying to get away from me, pretty. Had to come and make sure you were really getting a drink for yourself.” The chuckle he lets out is almost scary, especially now that you can see the way he towers over you. 

You try to squeeze past him, to at least go somewhere with more people, but he’s quick to grab your arm, bringing you deeper into the kitchen with him. “Let’s stay here for a while, it’s too stuffy out there.” Heeseung moves to grab a beer off the counter, opening it with ease as he takes a big swig. “So, you fuck Leehan yet?” 

You choke on your spit at the blunt question, in complete disbelief that he’d ask something like that so casually. “The hell? Why would I even tell you that?”

“Well, you’re getting worked up over it, so I’m more inclined to believe that there’s something between you two now.” He’s chuckling as he looks at you from where he was standing, leaving only a couple feet between you two. He’s teasing you just to get under your skin. 

“...If you’re talking about that bullshit from that night, that was nothing.” You’d completely forgotten the way you shotgunned with Leehan in an effort to make Taesan jealous; thinking back to it is humiliating, especially knowing it wasn’t just Heeseung who witnessed the intimate moment. Damnit, maybe you shouldn’t have gone that far.

“It was hot, you know. Until Taesan went and ruined all the fun by taking you all for himself,” He pauses to take another sip from his bottle. “Looks like you’ve got both of them under your belt, huh? It’s impressive. Most girls would die to be in your place.” Your skin crawled with the way he was openly referring to you like some sort of sexual object being passed around his friends.

“I didn’t hook up with either of them, Heeseung. Don’t go around talking about shit that isn’t true.” The raise of your voice catches him off-guard, but he doesn’t back down from a challenge, especially not if it’s you. Your interactions with him felt like you were the subject of some sick mind-game, one where the only goal was to piss off whoever was in their line of vision, and it was working. 

“Seeing you get so angry is turning me on, angel. You must have something good if it means they both want a piece of you,” He puts his beer down somewhere before striding over to you, forcing you to step back until your back is flush against the cool countertops. He’s looking down on you once more, arm resting firmly on the cabinet above you, making you feel more caged in than ever. “What do you say, my turn next?” 

Someone wolf whistles from behind him, making him drop his act as he turns to see who it came from. It’s no one you know, but you’re more than grateful for the stranger for giving you an out of the situation you were currently in. You ignore the calls of your name as you push past the group of people trying to come in, trying to distance yourself from Heeseung as quickly as possible. 

You weren’t sure where you’d lose him, ultimately deciding that going outside might be your best bet. Damnit, you didn’t think to grab your phone on your way out– Heeseung was probably still looking for you inside, so maybe now wasn’t a good time to go back in there. You could live without it for the time being if it meant avoiding that god-awful conversation. The cool air did little to combat the warmth you were currently feeling, a tightness in your chest you could only describe as unease. Your hands trembled at your side, palms sweater than you realized. Fuck, why were you so overwhelmed right now?

It was foolish for you to think you wouldn’t run into one of Taesan’s friends – especially knowing that this was Riwoo and Sungho’s party – but you didn’t expect an interaction of that calibre. You felt humiliated, offended even, for something you never did. The way those words rolled off of Heeseung’s tongue as if he was certain they were true; You hated the way Han Taesan had such a presence in your life after the way you two left off. 

There’s small groups of people scattered around outside, luckily too engrossed in their own circles to notice you practically running out the front door. Trying to calm down your pounding heart, you look around in hopes of finding someone you knew to try and distract yourself, to use them as a get-out-of-jail free card if Heeseung came back around. It’s all a blur, really, scanning the backs of heads of people you don’t know, and feeling insane in the process. 

God, why do they know so many people? You curse yourself for not thinking to grab your phone amidst your route through the apartment; maybe you could’ve called up Minnie to come save you or something. Your eyes glaze over the strangers' faces once more, anxiety creeping into your stomach until you meet a familiar gaze, one that softens immediately upon seeing you. 

Han Taesan. 

Should’ve figured he was somewhere outside if you didn’t see him inside the whole night. Damn it, why did he have to be the only person you could name in the immediate vicinity? He’s stood in a circle of people passing around a joint, eyes fixed onto you despite the fact that someone was currently talking to him. Taesan mouths something to the girl besides him before hastily making his way over to you, parting the group in half to get past them. 

Seeing him again for the first time since your argument brought back all the emotions you bottled up after your argument, feeling yourself get choked up immediately. You turn your back to him, not wanting to hold eye contact any longer than you need to, and start walking with no end destination in mind. There weren’t many other places you could go, not to mention the fact that your phone and roommate were both still inside the apartment, but that didn’t matter right now. 

“Where are you going?” 

You halt your movements, hearing Taesan’s voice from behind you, picking up his pace in an effort to reach you. You didn’t know where you were going in the first place. Turning around, you watch as he closes the distance between you two, nothing but the sound of his footsteps echoing through the air. He stopped only a couple feet away, but the smell of weed lingering on his clothes was strong even from where he was standing. 

“Why’d you follow me?”

“Uh, I don’t actually know. I guess I just wanted to see if we could talk,” He scratches the back of his head, struggling to tell you the truth: he missed you. “You looked upset back there… Just wanted to see if you were okay, yeah?” 

“I’m fine, just kind of… Annoyed.” Just thinking about the way your conversation with Heeseung escalated frustrated you deeply. Taesan tilts his head in confusion at your admission, scooting backwards in the process, not wanting to invade your personal space. “Not at you, idiot. Well, not directly.”  

“What happened inside? Did someone do something to you? Just tell me who and I’ll–” Just like that, Taesan was ready to storm back towards the apartment to find who made you upset, only stopping when you grabbed his wrist, physically preventing him from going any further. 

“You’re doing that thing again.” You drop your hold on him. The loss of your touch plants a pit in his stomach.

“What are you talking about?”

“That thing where you act like you care about me,” The boy frowns at you, clearly upset that you don’t believe his genuinity. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Baby, c’mon. It was never an act,” Taesan reaches to put his hand on your shoulder, only for you to dodge his movements. He pauses for a moment afterwards, debating on what to say next. “I couldn’t fake the way I acted with you, even if I tried.” His confession is hushed, loud enough only for him to hear.

“You guys brought Heeseung with you, didn’t you? He was spewing all this bullshit about how you and Leehan are just dying to get into my pants.” Irritation was written clearly into your outburst. “...Unless, he’s telling the truth. Is that what I am to you guys? A stupid bet or something?”

 “Fuck, if I knew you were here I would’ve tried finding you earlier and none of this would’ve-”

“What difference does it make? Aren’t you the same way? What makes you think he wouldn’t have said the same shit if you were there with me?”  The tension in the air is thick, uncomfortable.  “Say something, Dongmin.”

It stung when he didn't bother to utter a single word.

“Maybe it was stupid for me to think like this, but I never wanted to believe any of those ridiculous things people would say about you,” You can’t be bothered to wait for a response from the boy standing across from you, not anymore. “If I was nothing but a game to you, why do you try so hard to act like I’m not? If you knew those rumors were right all along, why’d you even bother dragging this out the whole time?”

“Dragging what out?” God, is he dense?  

“Us, Dongmin! Why the hell would you keep up this act for so long if you never gave a shit about me to begin with?” 

“...None of that is true, Y/N.” 

“Then why don’t you just fucking explain it to me then?”  Why can’t he tell you Heeseung was wrong? Why was it so hard for him to tell you what you needed to hear?

“Maybe it’d help if you didn’t see me as some fucking bad guy all the time everything would make a lot more sense,” That’s the thing: You could never see him as the villain, even after all this. Even when he has you questioning the confines of your relationship after each and every interaction, you’ve never had it in you to cut it off for good.  “I don’t know why you would assume the worst of me. You of all people, Y/N.” 

It’s you who wants to believe everyone is wrong about him. How could he have it so wrong? 

“You must be joking, right? I know you’ve heard it all, Dongmin.” A laugh comes out of your mouth, but you’re both well aware it isn’t because you’re joking– The circumstances have become so twisted that it was almost humorous. “About how you love jumping from girl to girl, refusing to give them the time of day after you’re done with them. I was bound to end up as one of them, right?” 

“Stop, Y/N.” Taesan pleaded shakily. 

“I don’t even know what to call you anymore. Does it even matter, Dongmin?” Taesan, Dongmin. Maybe you hated when Han Dongmin became Han Taesan. It was naive to think that you’d be able to focus on all the good parts of Dongmin when all the bad qualities of Taesan remained fixed in place. 

You couldn’t stop yourself from continuing, not now. Han Taesan would never fix his issues if he ran away from them, consistently refusing to fix them properly – If you have to be the one to tell him the truth to his face, then so be it. “Have you ever wondered why we always come back to each other like this? Especially when we both know we never get anywhere afterwards?”

 Taesan can’t meet your gaze. 

“There’s something wrong with the way we work, you know that, right? You’d be fucking lying to yourself if you really believed what you said back then,” The buzz from the alcohol was running dry, emotions heightened the more you sobered up. “I don’t know what kind of misconstrued definition you have for friends, but we were never just friends, Dongmin. You have to understand that much.” 

You take a moment to catch your breath, running a hand through your hair in frustration. “I can’t assume the worst in you,” It almost pains you to admit that to him; to let him know that at the end of the day, you’re still weak for him, and you’re well aware of the fact.  “No matter how many times you leave me hanging, the way you always do, I always come back to you and I hate myself for it.” 

“Shit, I don’t know why something in me wants to believe that you’re more than what everyone makes you out to be– and I try, time and time again, to prove myself correct but I can’t do anything about you going silent on me all the time, Taesan.”

“Fuck, Y/N, I just… I can’t let you end up like everyone else.” It’s the first time he’s even attempted speaking up in the past couple minutes. “Why can’t you just trust me on this?”

“Is that all you have to say? What do you want me to make out of that?” How did Taesan expect you to trust him when he gave you nothing to begin with? If he bothered to explain what was going on in his head, maybe, just maybe, you two would be able to fix things. “Why’s it so hard for you to just tell me?” 

“I-I don’t know what it is,” His voice is the smallest you’ve ever heard it, it’s hard to believe it’s actually coming from him. “I’d tell you in a heartbeat if I understood, Y/N. I really would.” 

It occurred to you that Taesan was just as lost as you were when it involved his own emotions: This coversation was going nowhere. Until he came to terms with what’s been holding himself back, you’re certain of one thing. “I don’t want to see you anymore, Taesan.” 

And he watches as you shove past him, beginning the trek back to the party all on your own. Even when he averts his gaze, he couldn’t help but turn back around, in hopes you’d be looking back too. It was only when your silhouette became lost among the crowd of people that Han Taesan dropped to his knees, gravel harsh against the bare skin exposed by the rips in his jeans, and choked out a sob. 

How did things get so complicated?

< SUPER SPECIAL TAG 3: @minwrlds my bodacious beloved beautiful b2u beta reader U mean the world to me BTW.

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© lionhanie 2025 ; all rights reserved!

[sunnylua]

loml | G. Satoru

angst, arranged marriage;

-

You had to excuse yourself from the table. The sight of a woman, who’s now the fiancee of the man who swore he’d give you the stars and the moon, intertwining her fingers with his. It made you want to throw up. Your heart clenched in the worst way as you stepped out of the café.

Such an idiot. He really thought it was a good idea for me to meet her.

You left for a few years and you came back to this. The love of your life marrying someone else.

He had to excuse himself too, following you outside. He gently tapped your shoulder once he reached you.

“Hey, is everything okay?” He asked, his signature smile on his lips, which immediately faded when he sensed something was off.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just needed some air.” You replied.

“You’re a terrible liar.” He leaned back on a wall next to you.

A dry chuckle escaped your lips. “I hate that you know me well.”

His expression continued worried. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?” He was still your best friend after all.

You sighed. “I don’t know, I just don’t feel very comfortable.” Uncomfortable was an understatement. You felt like your heat was being ripped out of your chest.

He nodded. “You don’t feel comfortable seeing us together.” You didn’t want to admit it to him, but he already knew.

“Can you blame me? How was I supposed to expect you were going to marry someone… and so suddenly.” You looked away from his eyes, you felt ashamed.

Satoru let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his hair. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to surprise you like this. It's just..." He took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts and articulate what he wanted to say. He knew that there was no easy way to explain the situation.

“It's just... my clan. They basically forced me to marry her. They wanted someone from another powerful family to continue their bloodline. It's a stupid tradition, I know..."

He paused for a moment, his eyes searching your face for any sign of understanding. He wasn’t trying to make excuses, he just wanted you to understand the difficult position he was in.

You sighed. “I can’t even be mad at you…” As much as you wanted to blame him for it, you couldn’t. You knew it wasn’t his fault, or hers.

Satoru’s shoulders relaxed, relieved that you weren't angry at him. He took a step closer to you, his hand gently reaching out to touch your shoulder. He looked into your eyes, his expression filled with guilt. "I never wanted this, you know? I never wanted to marry someone I don’t even love...”

You took a deep breath, looking away from him. “You look good together, might be convenient.”

Satoru's jaw tightened as he clenched his fists at his sides. He knew deep down that what you said had some truth to it, but hearing it out loud made him feel a pang of frustration and anger. "Is that all you see it as? A convenient arrangement? Do you think I actually wanted this, that I'm happy to marry a woman I don't even love?"

“I know you don’t, but that’s what it is now.” You were saying things you didn’t mean, your logic fighting with your emotions.

Satoru's expression softened once again. He knew you were right, but hearing it from you stung nonetheless. He let out a defeated sigh and leaned against the wall. "Yeah... you're right. That's what it is now. A convenient arrangement that I'm forced into."

You looked at him, seeing his sad eyes made your heart ache. “I’m sorry this is happening…” You sighed.

Satoru shook his head, his eyes falling to the ground. He appreciated your sympathy, but it didn’t make the situation any easier to bear. “Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. I’m the one who should be apologizing to you. I should have told you about this sooner..."

After a short silence you spoke. “Don’t invite me to the wedding.”

Your words hit Satoru like a punch to the gut. He flinched slightly, his mind spinning. He hadn't even considered the wedding. And now, hearing you refuse to attend... It hurt. A lot. "You... what?”

You press your lips, your eyes were getting teary “God, don’t even tell me the date or the place.”

As your eyes filled with tears, Satoru's expression turned pained. He hated seeing you like this, but he knew he was the one who caused it. He swallowed the lump in his throat and spoke quietly. "I... I won't tell you the date. But... Damn it, yn. Will I even see you again before that?"

“Would it make sense to?” Your tears finally ran down your cheeks.

Satoru's voice caught in his throat. He knew the answer to your question, but it didn’t make it any easier to accept. He took a deep breath, trying to keep his composure. "No... it probably wouldn’t make sense. But damn it, I don’t care. I want to see you."

You slightly shook your head. “It’s not fair… for me or for her.” Your voice cracked. You wanted to tell him that you loved him and you’d wait for him. To run away with you.

Satoru frowned at your words, his brows furrowing. "Since when were you so concerned about what's fair? Since when has life ever been fair to us?"

“You’re right. Nothing is fair.” Your voice became firm as you looked at him again.

Satoru took another step closer to you again. "Exactly. Life's not fair, and we've both been through our fair share of unfairness. But that doesn't mean… that doesn't mean we have to give up on the things we care about."

“So what will you do, huh? What, Satoru?” You were getting irritated, this whole situation wouldn’t have been happening if you didn’t leave for that stupid mission. “Are you going to ignore the fact that you’re getting married and meet me behind them all?”

Satoru let out a frustrated exhale, running a hand through his hair. He knew that what he was about to say next was wrong, but he couldn’t help himself. "Yes. That’s exactly what I want to do. I want to ignore that I’m getting married and continue seeing you. I don’t want to lose you."

You looked at him in the eyes that were now tearing up despite looking angry. “You know you can’t…”

Satoru’s heart sank as he watched the tears well up in your eyes. He knew you were right, but he couldn’t bring himself to accept it. "Damn it yn, I know! I know it’s stupid and selfish, but I can’t help it. I can’t bear the thought of losing you."

“I don’t want this either… but you’re losing me.”Those words escaped your lips hurting both the both of you. Those words resounded loudly as if they were the only words that could be heard.

Satoru’s heart squeezed in his chest as you said those words. He took a step back, his arms hanging limply at his sides. "You’re right, I did. But I don’t want to accept it. I don’t want to accept that I can’t see you anymore. That I can’t touch you.”

“It’s time to start facing it, Satoru.” You said quietly looking away.

“Easier said than done… how do you expect me to feel when I’m losing the woman I love the most in my life.” He said irritated.

“And how do you think I feel? Coming back after two years to see you hand in hand with the perfect woman?!” You almost cried saying this, feeling like you had a knife twisting in your chest.

Satoru took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He hated seeing you so upset, and it was killing him knowing that there was nothing he could do to change the situation. "I wish things could be different. I wish I could choose who I wanted to be with. But the clan…" He trailed off, his voice filled with bitterness.

“It’s always the clan…” You said under your breath. “There’s no more today say. You… you should go back inside. We’ve been here for so long.” You wiped your tears with the back of your hand.

Satoru looked conflicted. He didn’t want to go back, he wanted to spend more time with you, but he knew he didn’t have a choice. He reluctantly nodded, his expression resigned. "Yeah, you’re right. I should go back."

He looked at you, his eyes red and tear stained cheeks. “I’m sorry, yn. I really am…”

“I am too…”

The both of you parted ways. Walking back to your new lives without each other. It turned from calling the love of your life to loss of your life.

-

Lua’s note: damn

[bitter-me]

Love Me, Love Me, Love Me!

Part One (You're here) | Part two

----------

Welt Yang | M. Reader

----------

"Don’t get angry. Don’t abandon me. Don’t go anywhere."

------------

You were always so cold...

That monotone voice of yours.. That blank expression... That indifference...

You're cold, unapproachable, intimidating, and indifferent to all. A selfish man that only cares for himself. And yet...

How did he manage to fall in love with you? What is this feeling? What did you do? How come he had fallen for such a selfish and manipulative man? The Welt Yang? Falling for the likes of him? Impossible! Even a Honkai won't believe it!

No one could ever believes it!

The ever so righteous Welt Yang. In love with a bastart like that? Did he drugged him? Put some sort of spell? Manipulated him? It's ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous! The two are like water and oil for crying out loud! And yet...

It happened..

The man continuous to act cold and indifferent as their relationship goes on, and for some reason Welt eats it all up. The two acted more like strangers rather than a couple. But Welt takes all that he could get and in the end... He grew addicted to it..

.

.

"What...?"

Welt's face twisted in confusion upon hearing your words. You wanted to break up? Even though he knew this was toxic, he couldn't break away. He was in love with the way you hated him. He never expected anyone to manipulate him so well.

His lips curled into a tired smile as he looked at face of the man himself. The one who has his heart, the one who holds it in the palm of his hand.. and the could freely do anything with it...

He held his hand out to [Name] as if he wanted to test something. To know something. A vow? A promise? A metaphor? What is it exactly?

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Welt?" [Name] ask with his usual monotone voice, his expression remains neutral as he watches him. He stood there, a good distance away from Welt as his eyes scan the other in front of him. Welt chuckled softly at the look on [Name]'s face.

"Oh, don't deny it. You know exactly what I mean." Welt's smile grew wider at the sight of [Name]'s unchanging demeanor. "You're a manipulative person. Even if you don't admit it, you know that you've been playing me like a toy all this time." He chuckled darkly, seemingly amused by the other's reaction.

For once he felt tired.. For once he could only smile in pity at himself... He pity himself and the fact that he oh so willingly turn a blind eye at all of this... despite knowing how toxic it truly is.. He knew and yet he just eats it all up... He knew and yet he seems to be addicted to it...

Why..? Is it because he love the other too much? Had he fallen to a pit of no return? A pit in where he endlessly falls and expecting the other to catch him at the end?

It's unclear...

[Name] slowly step forward and approach Welt, his expression remains neutral as he accepts Welt's hand, holding it. "For once.. You're right.. I don't know how to love and I don't even know if I even have the capacity of loving either..."

"But the least I can do is take your hand and try, no?"

Is he being serious? Or is this one of his manipulation tactics? It's unclear... It's always unclear when it comes to that man... always so indifferent.. always so unpredictable...

Welt blinked in surprise, unsure of how to respond. [Name] was actually accepting his hand? "You... you will?" His voice was soft and full of emotion. His eyes widened and his hand tightened its hold on [Name]'s then as if snapping back to reality. Welt let go of the other's hand and took the slightest step back, seemingly in disbelief.

This is [Name] he's talking about...

...Was he being pranked, or was [Name] telling the truth?

"Seriously?" His tone was soft as he looked up at [Name]. His eyes widened, seemingly wanting to hear his words again. "[Name]?" He spoke again, his voice full of emotion. "Do you love me?"

Ah.. Those words felt.. Foreign to the other... It felt so out of reach from [Name] and yet.. He sighs before taking a step backwards and opening his arms as if he's expecting a hug.

"Welt.. I love you.. So please.. Come back to me..." Is he.. Being serious? He's serious right? This isn't one of his manipulation tactics, right? Despite his monotone voice.. It's real, right!?

Welt's eyes widened at the sight of [Name]'s open arms. Did he really love him, or was he just being taken advantaged of again?... But those words, they sounded so real. So genuine.

"Yes. Of course."

Welt took a step forward, his arms wrapping tightly around [Name] before pressing himself tightly against him. He didn't want to let go, not even for a single moment. As long as he was in his beloved's arms, he was willing to forgive everything.

.

.

The words "I love you" seems to be stuck in his throat, and now matter what [Name] can't seem to let them out, it's not that he can't say it its just.... well... it's more like... it came out as hollow.. empty.. avoid of anything.. avoid of emotions.. a void of warmth and affection that the words tied themselves to..

As much as Welt wanted to believe those words... he could still hear how hollow and empty they are.. Welt hope for that.. one day.. [Name] is able to say it with the utmost sincerity... to be able to say them without it being hollow.. without it being a lie..

Unknowingly to him, that day eventually arrives... it's just that.. it's the same day that the Honkai strikes again..

[Name] found himself putting pressure on a wound on his abdomen he cursed out the very thing that puts him in this.. state. He could only put pressure on his wound as he sat at the ground, surrounded by ruble and debris. He can't leave unless he wants to attract the attention of the Honkai to his location or make his injuries worst.

Then as if the Gods hates him.. a Honkai starts sniffing out people in the area he's in, he knew that everyone had probably evacuated the area and it's just him so he can't use them as sacrificial lambs. He's stuck. He can't fight in his current state. He can't fight with his injuries. He's out of options. The only option is to accept his fate.

With a heavy heart he took out his phone and call a specific number, one that he's oh so familiar with, one that he took the time to memorized. As the phone rings... to his surprise.. it lead to voicemail. [Name] weakly laughs at the sound of the voicemail. He deserved that. He truly deserved that. A bastard like him... he deserved nothing less than being left like this..

As it beeps, [Name] starts to convey his message.

"I've been irresponsible from the start... I'm not pure, I'm dishonest and dirty.. I don't know what it means to love and to be loved.. which probably led as to why my words sounded so hollow and avoid of emotions..." [Name] paused, letting out a bitter chuckle before continuing.

"Welt... Your name was Joachim Nokianvirtanen, right? I remember you used to rambled on about some stuff... I think you said that once... Or was I wrong? Sorry... I was never good with names... Even though I may not look like it... But I was so happy when you gave me that gift... I've still got it displayed in my room." [Name] took a sharp inhale as he tries to put as much as pressure possible to his body that's slowly turning weaker by the second.

"I've let my guard down.." He muttered under his breath.

"I'm sorry..." He apologies once more, his voice growing quieter and quieter.. weaker and weaker...

"Welt, your animations are wonderful... You know, I was thinking that maybe you'll actually become a great animator one day... and Joyce.. I wonder what kind of adult he'll grow into.. hopefully not like me, yeah? call me selfish, but I want to be there to see it... not that I was the best partner or anything... But I'm glad that I've met you."

"And also... I have to tell you this.."

"Welt Yang, I love you."

Those words... they don't sound as hollow as before... it don't sound as emotionless as before.. it sounded real.. it sounded genuine.. it sounded like.. [Name] truly meant it..

"I'm sorry.... it took me so long..."

The last thing that was heard was the screech of a Honkai before it cuts off.

.

.

"No.... it didn't took you that long.."

Is what he would say if he had picked up the phone.

The day he opens his voicemail is the very same day he cried his heart out. Those words that his beloved had uttered with his last breath... he can't describe it... but every time he hears it... just made him cry even more.

Now that he's... in another world... now that he's a Nameless..

He could only sigh as he looks at the gift with a somber expression. An item he had bring with him. An item that he cherish so much after that day.

A ball-jointed doll of Joyce.

Welt wanted [Name] to remember or at least acknowledge the child he had neglected because of his work. He wanted [Name] to at least utter those sweet words or spend some time with the child Welt had cared for like his own. Welt had discovered that [Name] had a hobby of collecting thing a few years ago, ball-jointed dolls to be exact. So what's a better way to combine what he wanted him to do with the man's hobby as a gift?

And true to the voicemail... [Name] had kept it and displayed it on his shelf of his room... the doll is in its most prime state... completely clean and fully functional.. the limbs work perfectly, nothing is messed up.. [Name] had took care of the doll as if it's Joyce himself.

.

.

Seeing familiar faces in this universe convinced him to stay. But seeing his, unleashed a floodgate of emotions within him.

The moment he saw the other universe "him" in front of him. Perhaps this could be the happy ending he always wanted?

"Hello, please try to quickly summarize your intents and goals for this meeting." The man spoke up in an all to familiar tone. He then looks up at the paper he's holding and eyed the four people in front of him. What was their names again? March 7th, Dan Heng, Stelle, and Welt Yang? He was never good with names.

"Ah right... you're Her Excellency's honor guests, where are my manners." He says sarcastically.

"Name's [Name] [L. Name], now... what business do you have with me? I'm a busy man so make it quick."

[cosmowgyral]

Chaotic Night~ Halloween Night at the Mercy of the Cursed Fox

▪︎ Harrison Gray

This is a fan translation so please don't expect it to be 100% accurate. Creative liberties have been taken. All content belongs to Cybird. Reblogs are appreciated. Hope you enjoy!

Concerned about the influence of the curse in the moonlit night, it was decided that everyone would refrain from leaving their rooms until dawn.

Harrison: Damn you Roger. You shouldn’t be bringing anything dangerous to the party.

Harry was sitting on the bed, muttering to himself with a sour look on his face.

Strange phenomenon occurred, like the twitching of his fluffy ears and the flapping of his tail, as if wary of its surroundings.

(..Oh, how cute! The way it moves seem like it’s really a part of Harry’s body.)

(But now, Harry is both cool and cute, doesn’t that make him totally invincible…?)

The curse’s increased power had transformed Harry’s appearance, which inadvertently made him even more attractive.

As I sat next to Harry, I instinctively reached out to touch the fluffy fur.

Kate: Wow, it’s so fluffy and it feels so good.

(It really suits him and makes him looks cute.)

(But what if Harry doesn’t return to normal and the effects of the curse continue to grow stronger….)

(The one who is the most anxious right now must be Harry himself. I shouldn’t let myself worry too.)

(I have to act normally here.)

As I stroked the soft fur, lost in thoughts----

Harrison: Kate, you’ve been touching it too much.

Kate: Oh, I’m sorry! I just couldn’t resist myself because it was so cute.

I was so worried and lost in thought that before I knew it, my wrist, which I tried to pull back in a panic, was quickly grabbed.

Harrison: Just ‘cute’?

Kate: Eh? Y-yes, but….

Harrison: Yes, that’s a lie.

Kate: Ggh..

The mint green eyes that looked into my eyes seemed to have a piercing, sharp light.

(…Is this the result of his abilities being strengthened?)

I feel an inexplicable unease in my chest.

Ah, if his abilities are stronger, it must mean I can be seen through even more than usual.

Harrison: So, what were you actually thinking?

In Harry’s increasingly intense gaze, it felt as if my innermost thoughts were being laid bare.

Kate: D-don’t stare at me like that!

I quickly covered Harry’s eyes with my hands.

(If we don’t make eye contact, he shouldn’t be able to find out!)

Harrison: What are you doing?

Kate: Ummm….well, it’s just embarrassing?

Harrison: That’s not true.

Harry’s mouth turns up in a grin.

Kate: Nn, eh?

Harrison: Is there a lie you’re telling me that you don’t want me to see through?

(I’ve been found out! Even though I covered his eyes…That’s right, Harry has sharp instincts.)

(But if I keep his eyes covered like this, he won’t be able to see anymore.)

Harrison: Haha, that’s okay. If it makes you feel better, you can keep my eyes covered.

Harry remained unfazed by my precautions.

Harrison: So, what were you thinking while touching my ears and tail?

Kate: Well, the fluffy texture felt nice.

Harrison: Hmm, anything else?

Kate: Particularly that…

Harrison: That’s a lie.

Kate: I-It’s not a lie, you know?

I said that to further reinforce my point---.

Harrison: ….

Harrison: …Hey

Harrison: If you keep lying like that, I might start despising you.

Kate: Eh?

My heart made an unpleasant thud.

Harrison: It must be because my cursed blood is raging; I can’t even control my emotions anymore.

Harrison: If I lose interest in you like this…it might become irreversible.

The atmosphere in the room became tense once he calmly spoke his words.

(He must’ve run out of patience…)

Kate: I-I don’t want that!

I removed my hands from Harry’s eyes, and a wicked smile spread across his face.

Harrison: Now, was that a lie or the truth?

Kate: ……Huh?

Harrison: Pfft, haha, what kind of face are you making?

(Ngh, was he teasing me?!)

Kate: You’re despicable!

Frustrated, I hit on Harry’s chest.

Kate: I was worried back there!

Kate: I was thinking that Harry’s current appearance is cute and cool, but what if he never returned to normal?

Kate: If the power of the curse continues to run wild like this…….

Kate: But I knew you would have been the most worried about the situation, so I was trying my best for you to not find out about my feelings…!

Harrison: If it continues to run wild, what do you plan to do?

Kate: Ah

He grabbed me and my hand that was hitting him, and threw me onto the bed.

The eyes looking down on me are filled with an even more mysterious light.

It was swirling with the heat of rising desire.

Harrison: Maybe it’s because my abilities have gotten stronger, but now I seem to be able to tell if someone is lying or telling the truth by just listening to them speak.

Harrison: Well, that’s not all.

He buried his face in my neck and sniffed.

Harrison: The smell of a lie? I might have become more sensitive to things like that.

Kate: Th-there’s no way….ah!

A hot tongue crawls up my throat.

He licked up to my chin with a slow, savouring motion.

Harrison: You’re delicious…and your reaction too.

Kate: Mmm….

He gives me biting kisses and ravages my mouth violently.

(This is different from usual….it’s intense and wild.)

Stirred until pulpy, Harry showed off his dripping tongue, and wore an even more sadistic smile.

Harrison: Your taste is telling me….

Harrison: That you love it when I do this to you.

Kate: N-hah, th-that’s because you’re doing this, Harry.

Harrison: ….

Kate: Harry? Do you still love me?

Kate: Have you lost patience with me?

Harrison: ……

The silence felt incredibly long, but----

Harrison: ….That isn’t true.

Harrison: I wouldn’t want to do this if it weren’t you.

Harrison: You’re so honest that you’re screaming with your whole body that you love me.

Harrison: I feel really overwhelmed.

The passion in the mint-coloured eyes looking down at me grew hotter and hotter.

Kate: …Uh, aren’t you going to say ‘was that a lie’?

Harrison: Well, you already know if it’s true or not. And..

Harrison: I can’t wait any longer.

Kate: Haah…

He bit my earlobes and ran his tongue along it.

Harrison: …Not only have my abilities been strengthened, but my desires may have been unlocked as well.

Harrison: Kate, be prepared.

His voice mixed with hot breaths ruthlessly vibrates through my ears.

There’s no winning against Harry, who can see through with all his senses---

Together we fell into the darkness of Halloween.

[poorly-written-fiction]

a little bit too much - logan howlett x fem!reader

A/N: i saw @journal3sposts post about logan with his young, tipsy, hypersexual little girlfriend who can't keep her hands to herself in the car. the post spoke to me on a very deep, emotional level. so i threw this fic together. it doesn't actually end in smut, i do have some minor discomfort writing dubious consent content, mostly because i don't want to make anyone else uncomfortable. but if this is received well and i don't get bricks theown at me i will write something properly spicy. this is also the first piece of writing i'm posting publicly in 10 years so please have some patience with me. also despite being 22 years old and being a casual alcohol drinker, i do not drink at bars, so my idea of going to bars is based solely on the experiences of others + what i've seen in movies and tv shows. apologies, i'm sorry i'm lame.

tags: not quite smut, but very suggestive (18+, MDNI), alcohol consumption (reader is 21+), age gap (legal, but let's be honest, every relationship with logan is an age gap relationship) fem!reader (no specific descriptions of appearance), reader is handsy, logan is a little more responsible, some spelling/grammar errors probably i'm too tired to check

Logan loved taking Y/N to bars. She was fun without alcohol, but after a few drinks she was truly a sight. Logan would joke that she kept him young with her shenanigans. She would drink and dance, and flirt - oh good lord, she would flirt. She would run her hands up and down his arms, run her fingers through his hair, any excuse she had to touch Logan, she'd take it. She'd take a shot, then kiss him immediately after - or kiss him right after he took a drink of his own drink. Usually it was beer, but he occasionally got whiskey when he was in the mood for it.

One particular night, Logan and Y/N were at a bar playing a game at one of the billiards tables. It wasn't a grimy place, but definitely not one of the nicest places either of them had gone to. It was comfortable enough - the music didn't play too loud and the drinks were good, and strong. Logan sipped a glass of whiskey, while Y/N tried whatever the bartender had suggested when she asked for a recommendation. That was another thing Logan liked about her, she would try almost anything at least once. After a drink of her own, a celebratory shot for winning the game, and a few sips she had snuck from Logan's glass, she was well on her way to stumbling a little more when she walked. She clung to Logan like a crutch, and he wrapped his arm around her waist, holding her close to him so she wouldn't fall or wander too far. Y/N grabbed Logan by the collar of his flannel shirt and pulled him down into a kiss. A long, hard, meaningful kiss. There was never any doubts that they loved each other, but they don't call alcohol "liquid truth" for nothing.

"We better get you home, darlin'." Logan paid the tab and scooped up Y/N, carrying her bridal style to the old truck. "Can you grab the door for me, princess?" Y/N pulled the handle, and Logan got her settled inside, pressing a kiss to her temple when he buckled her seatbelt. When he made sure she was secure, he shut the door and made his way over the driver's side. He hopped in, turned the key, and started back for home.

The ride back was comfortably quiet. Not a lot of conversation, just the sounds of the road and some generic country song played inaudibly on the radio. Logan drove with one of his hands on Y/N's thigh, occasionally rubbing it with his thumb and smiling at her. She'd smile back, her head still feeling fuzzy from the outing, but she was in good hands, and she was happy. It didn't take long before they were stopped at a red light that held for just a little bit longer than some of the others, and Y/N slid one of her hands over Logan's chest.

He smiled, shaking his head, "What are you doing there, baby?"

Y/N just smiled back, mumbling something along the lines of, "I'm just feeling you. You're so handsome."

Logan smiled before leaning over and kissed his lover, her breath still smelling faintly of alcohol. It wasn't off-putting, just a subtle reminder that she wasn't completely sober. Y/N couldn't contain herself, moaning quietly into the kiss and running her hands down to his belt, fumbling with it. Logan put one of his hands over hers, moving them away gently.

"Babygirl, we can't do that right now," Logan pressed his forehead against hers, smiling apologetically. He couldn't deny that he didn't like the contact or the way Y/N would practically throw herself at him. But, he didn't want to take advantage - or feel like he was taking advantage - especially because she was so much younger than he was. Almost everyone Logan knew was younger than him, but Y/N almost made it too obvious that there was a significant age difference between the two. He didn't mind it too much, obviously because they had been dating for a while, but his moral compass still steered him away from fucking her while she was this intoxicated.

Y/N pouted, moving her hands back up to his chest, "What about when we get home? I want you so badly, Lo..."

He kissed her forehead, and rubbed her thigh gently, not with intention of teasing her, but instead as a way to soothe her. "You're not sober enough, darlin'. It wouldn't be right. If you feel up for it in the morning, we can try again."

"But it's okay, I love you, it would be okay." Y/N's head was just spinning with the idea of Logan touching her. He shook his head, gave her soft thigh a light squeeze, and the light turned green. Logan pressed on the gas, and continued his drive home.

"If you feel up for it in the morning, I'd be more than happy to give you what you want. For tonight, we need to get you into bed, doll."

========================================

A/N: thank you for reading, if you did! suggestions, questions, comments and concerns are always appreciated okay bye!

[v3nusstardust]

🎀”Could you hold me through the night? Put your lips all over my salty face when I start crying.”🎀

LOWKEY BASED OFF THAT ONE LINE IN HIGHSCHOOL SWEETHEARTS BY MELANIE MARTINEZ AYEEEE

Pairing : Niki Nishimura x reader🎀

Genre : Fluff🤍

Summary : You were dealing with sleep issues and major depression but didn't tell your busy boyfriend, Niki. When he finally had a day off from his extremely busy schedule, he decided to spend it with you.

WARNINGS : mentions of not eating and depression

•

•

As you and your boyfriend strolled hand in hand through the busy mall, it was way quieter than usual. Niki, your boyfriend, noticed you were walking a bit slower and not really saying much.

Usually you were always talking about recent things that happened or just anything really, but the silence between you both was agonizing. Niki gently squeezed your hand, concern etched across his face. "Y/n, you seem really off. Is something bothering you?" he asked, his eyes searching yours. You sighed, feeling the weight of exhaustion and emotions. “Nope. Perfectly fine." The lack of sleep, with only an hour in the past day, had left its mark on both your physical and emotional well-being. A warm smile crossed Niki's face as he suggested, "Okay. What do you want to check out first?"

"Whatever…" you bluntly replied, your mind preoccupied with the internal struggle you were facing.

“Alright, let’s get some food then.” Niki responded.

You found a spot to sit in the food court. The aroma of fresh food flooded your nose. “What do you want to eat ,love?” Niki asked with a gentle expression. “I’m okay. I ate before you picked me up.” You lied. It had actually been a day since you ate. “Aw, what? But it’s so fun when we eat together y/n. We always have memorable moments.”Niki spoke softly. You shrugged your shoulders, “I’m just not hungry right now.”

“Oh, okay. We can go somewhere else. What's that store you wanted to check out?" Niki asked, trying to recall. You hesitated and finally said, "Can you just take me home?" Avoiding his gaze, you feared his reaction. Niki gently held your hands, his eyes softening. "I thought you loved shopping, which was why I proposed we come here on my day off.” He rubbed his thumb over your hands. His caring words resonated with you, but you didn't want to burden him. "Okay. Let's go home then. Maybe we can talk about it," he suggested, his warmth persistent.

Truth be told, you didn't want to talk about it. You knew it would worry him, and you didn't want him to miss important practices.

"Can you just drop me off? I need some time alone," you requested, meeting Niki's gaze. Concern crept into his tone as he asked, "Is however you're feeling my fault?"

You reassured him, "No, not at all. I just don't feel like doing anything today." A heavy sigh escaped your lips. Niki's worry lingered, "Alright. I'll take you home then." The car ride back was silent. The only sound was the light rain hitting the windows. You avoided looking at him the entire time.

Upon arriving home, he stepped out of the car with you. "Come here," he gently urged. You walked over, and his arms enveloped your body in a warm, comforting embrace. The light drizzle outside added a soothing touch to the moment. "I'll give you as much time alone as you need. Text me if you need anything," he said, pressing a soft peck to your forehead before letting you retreat into the comfort of your home.

As you stepped inside, the floodgates of emotion burst open, and sobs wracked your body. You had held back your tears the entire time, not wanting to burden your caring boyfriend. The realization of how he had been nothing but gentle and understanding intensified your guilt – it felt like you were treating him like garbage.

After letting out the pent-up emotions, you gathered yourself and headed to the living room. Determined to distract your mind, you sat down to finish up some college work.

You intentionally avoided checking your phone, aware of Niki's concerns, and not wanting to add to his worry. Focusing on your assignments, you dedicated about 5 hours to your work. Once you completed your tasks, you decided to take a shower. The warm water cascaded, soothing your nerves, and for a brief moment, you found a sense of peace.

Following your shower, you slipped into an oversized tee paired with adorable Hello Kitty pajama shorts. As you settled into bed, the room basked in a gentle glow from your small TV. However, overthinking took hold, and tears streamed down your flushed cheeks. The weight of your tired eyes intensified the pain of crying, and for a moment, you found yourself dissociating.

•

•

In the midst of your sob session, there was an unexpected knock on the door. Startled, you wiped away the tears. You lived in a pretty scary neighborhood and you assumed it could be anyone. You cautiously peaked out the window and realized it was your loving boyfriend Niki. You cautiously unlocked the door, worried of what he would say. Maybe he came to break up with you.

As you opened the door, a sight greeted you – Niki, drenched from the rain. "Sorry for pulling up unexpectedly. I was worried about you," he admitted with a nervous chuckle. In one hand, he held a bouquet of roses, and in the other, a bag full of snacks. Niki's presence in your doorway was like a breath of fresh air. His eyes locked onto your puffy red eyes, and his face swiftly transitioned into a concerned expression. "Have you been crying?" he asked, genuine worry evident in his voice. Without waiting for an answer, he let himself in, placing the roses and snacks on the table. His gaze softened as he approached you. He took off his damp hoodie and quickly wrapped his arms around you. "I brought your favorites. Thought we could just hang out, talk, or not talk—whatever you need," Niki offered. Feeling a mix of emotions, You began to cry again. You cried into his shoulder, probably getting tears and snot all over him. His hand caressed your hair. He peppered gentle kisses on the top of your head. “You can talk to me about it when you’re ready.” He said, stroking the back of your hair.

"Have you eaten?" Niki asked, concern evident in his eyes. You shook your head no. "Okay, well, I know it's not a proper meal, but I brought you some snacks, so eat up, Y/n," he said with a warm smile, handing you the bag of snacks. "I'm... not really hungry," you admitted with a sigh.

"Come here. Sit next to me," he invited, taking a seat at your kitchen table. "Okay, which one do you want to try first? I brought chocolate and strawberry Pocky," he said, grabbing the boxes of snacks. "Niki, I don't..." you began, but he interrupted .

“Don't. Give me that. I know you, Y/n. I'm gonna feed you," he insisted with a teasing smile. "Oh, okay, then. Strawberry, please," you smiled, letting him take care of you in this simple, comforting way.

After sharing snacks, You and Niki were now laying in your bed together. Limbs tangled together and wrapped in his embrace. The weight on your shoulders began to decrease. “Your hair smells good.” he giggled, and you couldn't resist smiling at the adorable scrunch of his nose when he laughed.

In the quiet intimacy, you found the courage to share your struggles. "The reason I was acting so weird lately is because I've been super depressed," you confessed , breaking the silence. "I haven't felt like myself in a while. I just... didn't want to tell you because I know how worried you get. I didn't want to be a burden on you,".

Niki's gaze softened, a warm and gentle look in his eyes. His hand reached up to cup your face, and his thumb caressed your lips. "Darling, you would never be a burden on me. No matter what you go through, I want you to tell me. You worried me this week," he reassured, his sincerity echoing in the dimly lit room. “Our texts were getting shorter and so were our calls. It scared me.” Niki’s eyes began to get watery.

"I'm sorry," you apologized, the hurt evident in your voice. Niki gently interrupted, "Everything's going to be okay now. I'm here. Tell me everything." He placed a comforting kiss on your lips, and his words continued like a soothing melody. "You're such a strong, beautiful girl. How did I get so lucky?" he said, showering kisses on your cheeks.

The warmth of your boyfriend enveloped you, inducing a sense of drowsiness. “Niki I haven’t been able to get a proper sleep for about a week now, but just being here with you is making me so sleepy.” You chuckled, a yawn escaping your lips. “Okay. I’ll be here all tomorrow then too. Go to sleep , mkay love? I’ll hold you all night and make sure you’re safe.” He placed a small kiss to the bridge of your nose.

You were finally able to drift into a peaceful slumber.

(A/n : I have to go to school today oh hell no💀 time to interact with oversized rats all day 👎lmk if u fw this tho🎀🎀 I love y’all Fr !!! y’all hype my stuff up and it makes my whole week 😘😘😘)