#i would love to enjoy food again

[diet-cranberry-sprite]

i genuinely hate fatspo so much, yall are fucking awful to post real people. eds so so miserable why would you ever want to push this on someone else?? there are no pros, you lose your entire self to a disorder that will never love you

[fishshit]

ok so i've been watching lots of mukbang compilations recently and this has been haunting me for months: yuuri and viktor trying to cook and eat spicy noodles as guests on a popular media channel.

but like, they aren't even trying to be quiet, especially viktor. they talk a lot, there's a bit of casual chaos going on, they are laughing and getting interviewed while they are cooking the noodles. they're just about to eat when yuuri realises something is wrong. the noodles are as white as his husband's buttcheeks.

he pauses, trying to process what just happened because those noodles look nasty and turns to his husband. viktor is looking at the camera like a kid got caught while stealing cookies.

"viktor?"

"hm?"

"did you do something?"

"nooo."

"viktor."

only then viktor takes out packages of spicy sauce from god knows where he's been hiding them.

"i was so scared that you're going to put so much spice in them and-" he stops talking because yuuri is laughing so hard. he starts to laugh too with the adrenaline of getting caught.

"i wouldn't put so much in yours if you told me."

"i know."

"you are ridiculous."

"i know."

yuuri pours the spicy sauce in his noodles while still laughing about viktor's antics, viktor screams when his husband moves to pour some sauce in his noodles. in the end, they sit and eat their noodles.

(there are more than thousand tweets about viktor's white ass noodles and his zero spice tolerance. yuuri is reminded once again that he's married a white man that cries and runs to the bathroom whenever he eats a little spice.)

[pigswithwings]

Chadfield. (Dubious Canon Gorp Arg)

X | X | X

X |📞| X

X | X | X

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hey, what's ur favourite holiday btw? Bc mine's Halloween tbh- CANDY!

DITTO BABEY halloween is where it's at! although i will admit im Not a big candy person - sweet stuff isn't my area! unless it's Cake! even then I can't handle a lot at once!

but man, Halloween. i miss her. the vibes, the energy, the flair, the decorations, the spooky stuff, the Everything... she serves.

[grimark]

i think it's time for me to finally speak my truth and admit i have an irrational hatred of that fucking chocolate guy.

[exoshroommie]

i am making great strides with my exocolonist cook book. next step: try to make soysweets!

thank you @elvexen for making the inspiration for this project!! (this post)

I've decided to make them flavored like various ingredients in the game. only mango soysweets are said to exist i think, but why not have some fun!!! :)

[floral-hex]

woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

[nomaishuttle]

sry its just like rly incredibly annoying how much ppl will like. IDK. yes ik a lot of autistic and adhd ppl who do love music. and sometimes it is bc of their neurodivergence yk. music can be grounding its familiar its reliable and comfortable. i think its fine to say Autistic/ADHD ppl often find comfort in music. but its stupid as fuck to say Therefore enjoying music makes you autistic/adhd.

[yoohyeon]

I’m suppose to paint but my moral is so low right now…

[chronicillnesscaneffoffplease]

I love you up&go I love you soups of every kind I love you low fat yogurt I love you rice crackers I love you well steamed veggies with lots of salt I love you electrolyte drinks I love you bananas I love you low fat ice cream I love you fancy salt collection (looking at you truffle salt) I love you berry smoothies I love you vegemite toast

[floofyfluff]

starts crying because i thought too hard about friends, who i had barely had a few weeks to get to know before pandemic hit, bringing me thanksgiving dinner from 10 feet away door dash style. i know this i was just a regular thing to do but id 1. just moved for the 10th time in 7 years like three months before the panini. to Yet Another state. 2. recently given up on art and decided the smart thing to do was get licensed and start working as an emt. in the pandemic. like a person with No Fucking Brain. while further deciding to go back to school bc i guess i spent enough time in the infectious ravioli to think i could stick this out for the long haul BC REALLY COULD IT GET WORSE (it can always get worse). and thus hadn't spent extensive time with anyone that wasnt intimately involved in making morbid jokes about the "meat lockers" outside all the hospitals (in case we ended up like nyc. Which we didn't by sheer icu-bed-per-capita, but only sorta). and also you gotta laugh or cry and they Were meat lockers. so you laugh.

but anyway i hadn't seen these people for months and they made a whole dinner and brought it to me and that's why i'm still in chicago.

[wollfling]

4 am and I can't sleep bc my joints are in so much pain 😒

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

*rattling the bars of my cage and screaming*

I WANT TO TAKE CARE OF MY HEALTH I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO ASK FOR HELP IN A WAY THAT WILL LET ME BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY

[sacchariferouspoet]

need a cute girl to fawn over me and leave me blushing from compliments while she steals my wallet

[sttoru]

⠀⠀ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. a relaxing day at the beach w/ toji ‘n little megumi, accompanied by their usual bickering and precious moments

tags. dad!toji x wife!female reader. fluff. honestly just the beach episode toji deserves w his family t_t not proof read!

the beach is a beautiful place to rest after a tough week. toji lays on the towel besides yours, bulky arms resting behind his head as he enjoyed the gentle breeze, the smell of the sea mixed with his wife’s perfume.

the peace is quickly disturbed when he feels a small fist claw at his mouth.

“‘gumi, don’t feed papa sand,” your muffled laughter echoes through the busy beach. you watch your husband attempt to fight off megumi’s tiny hands as they pry his lips apart.

toji grunts and moves his head multiple times, but the toddler is determined to get what he wants. “brat—” the dark-haired man scoffs while his hands wrap around megumi’s torso, lifting the little boy in the air as his final resort, “what’s this all ‘bout? wanna kill y’r daddy or sum?”

your son pouts and furrows his brows. “no, i made papa food. burger,” he defends himself and kicks his legs while being held up at arms length. megumi’s tiny fist full of sand manages to reach his father’s lips again, “now papa eat!”

toji lifts megumi up higher, as far away from his face as possible. he takes a second before realising that he indeed had made a request for a burger just moments ago, when his son asked him what he should make out of the sand.

toji totally forgot to play along with megumi’s pretend restaurant game, thinking the boy would halfway forget about it anyway. children’s attention spans are short after all.

seems like his kid is an exception.

“i ain’t eatin’ shit, boy,” toji grunts and turns megumi away, putting the boy back down in the sand between the two beach towels. you’re about to reprimand your husband for his behaviour before your child interrupts.

“this not poo poo!” megumi jabs a finger at his father’s chest, his voice a bit louder. he’s taken great offence to the comment about his imaginary burger, which was now but a cluster of sand particles.

toji snorts and gently flicks megumi’s hand away, “yeah, it is. bet it tastes like ‘poo poo’ too.”

“no! not poo poo!” megumi’s voice rings out before a frustrated whine leaves his lips. his little hands land on toji’s abs, physically punishing him for saying such mean stuff about his hard handiwork.

your husband sticks his tongue out childishly at his sulking son. “‘yes! yes ‘tis poo poo!’ keheh,” toji mocks megumi’s high voice, snorting as he laughs about his own joke afterwards.

the father-son duo bicker for a few more seconds before you sigh and speak up. “can you two just get along for once now? we’re in public, so behave,” you scold them as their voices seemed to get louder. you then glare at your immature husband. he could be such a man-child when it came to arguing with his son, “and you— you’re an adult, so act like one.”

the two of them instantly shut up and their heads turn towards you, their hands that were wrestling with each other also stopping mid-air. megumi pouts and stops attacking his father with his tiny fists. the little boy knows better than to not listen to his mother.

in turn, toji huffs and grumbles something under his breath before grabbing his son to make it up to him.

neither does the grown man dare to defy his wife’s demands.

“yeah, yeah. c’mere, son,” toji responds and places the toddler on his chest, letting the kid rest against him. megumi surprisingly doesn’t pull away and instead curls up in toji’s warm embrace. as much as the two love to (playfully) fight, they also get along extremely well.

you smile and relax back on the palms of your hands. “much better,” you hum in content. your heart swells with affection for your two favorite people on earth. megumi is a carbon copy of his father and it’s the cutest little thing ever.

they both have that subtle pout on their lips as they accommodate to being close and cozy with each other again.

toji runs his callused fingers through megumi’s hair, sighing as he closes his eyes. he doesn’t admit it out loud, but he cares for his kid. if he had to make a choice between either saving his own life or megumi’s, toji’d instantly draw his last breath.

“he’s still a brat,” your husband grumbles to you, sharp eyes watching the way you coddle and coo over the toddler. megumi’s chubby cheek is smushed against toji’s chest and it was an adorable sight. you giggle and capture it on your phone.

toji scoffs, but can’t help the grin tugging at the corner of his scarred lips. he gently rubs the child’s cheek with his knuckles before continuing, “but he’s my brat. ain’t that right, boy?”

megumi lets out a small, soft grunt at his father’s words. the kid is completely silent, content with the way things had played out. perhaps this is what he secretly searched for as well— to receive toji’s attention and a glimpse of his affection.

“aww, how cute!” your smile is beaming as you snap another picture of your family. toji’s soft look is perfectly captured on your phone, with him gently touching megumi’s chubby cheek as the boy laid on his bare chest. pure domestic bliss.

you sigh and look away for one second to change the lockscreen on your phone. humming, you go to your settings and instantly put the picture of your husband and son as your wallpaper on nearly everything.

you tilt your head back only to find toji grinning from ear to ear now, going from gently rubbing megumi’s cheek to full out squishing them between both his hands, amused at the way the fat moves. “kehehe, look at ‘em,” he chuckles.

the little toddler eventually gets fed up with it after squirming and grunting. megumi brings his little fist up—the same one that still had some sand stored from before—and lets the content fly all over toji’s face.

megumi giggles and scrambles off toji’s lap with a victorious grin. he points at his father who’s struggling with getting the sand off his face, the man sputtering and grumbling. he sticks his tongue out, “tha’s papa’s burger.”

you watch as your son waddles over to you and hides into your arms, muffled laughter echoing in your ears. seems like megumi won the battle in the end; successfully holding onto the sand he was planning to feed his dad one way or another.

toji spits out a bit of sand that flew into his mouth from the kid’s surprise attack, “you little shit—”

well, there goes the peace again. you shake your head, but let the two play and fight it out on their own.

. . . just another day in the fushiguro family.