#i would download it again if she wanted me to.
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i wish we followed each other on insta because i want to send her this thing so bad
#txt#I LOVE HIM hes literally me#i also want to send her cat videos and memes ^_^#my sister found her TIK TOK EARLIER 😭#i would download it again if she wanted me to.#if i had a penny for every time ive downloaded tiktok again just to talk to a girl...#2 beautiful pennies#ajd i would GLADLY make it THREE
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how do we feel about an 1800s (ish) old west story with a vampire still trying to get over losing the one she loved?
#sim edit#brona#after regal is officially over of course#gosh i've been putting off editing the last two posts of it because i just..... i don't know if i can accept that it'll be done lol#but i will finish it!#in the meantime i've beeen thinking about brona's story for a while now#very much contemplated not ever posting about it#i thought.... this one dies with me#but. i want her to find love again#i can't leave her to wither like she desires#she's has hundreds of years to dwell but no more!!!!#well.. if anyone is interested (^:#it would be a lot of work tbh#i've got to historical-ify chestnut ridge (whenever i decide to update) and download lots more cc and mods#which means i'd need to sort through regal mods and figure out what i want to bleed over#there's some hairs and dresses and possibly build/buy#anyways it's a lot of work but#let me know your thoughts
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#when ur the bitch that’s like waaa i want a relationship to get over my first one so that it’s not the only one that I obsess over#but also make 0 attempts to like…socialize or download hook up apps or like anything that would help me get over (redacted)#like there’s a girl in my grad school class who’s funny & cute but like idk her that well and for all I know she might have a gf or like not#be interested so#tho maybe it’s bc im attention-starved but whenever she talks to our group she does look like…directly at me#maybe im reading into this way too much#also if (redacted) saw her they’d be like yeah u have a type don’t u#bc she looks veeerrryyy similar to them lmao#ughhhh i wish i was more spontaneous & just did shit without needing like 3-6 months of overthinking beforehand#maybe i can talk abt this stuff w my therapist idk#just be all whiney and wail abt how there’s still a stupid part of me that’s like well they didn’t break up w me bc they didn’t like me#they did it bc of the nature of the relationship#so they still could have feelings for me#& what if I just ignore all that stuff and get back together w them#again i wish ianthe was real so she could give me a lobotomy like she did w harrow#I would be a lot happier if I could just. stop Fucking Thinking all the goddamn time#fae flutters
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Okay I know I don’t shut up about it but let me scream okay 😭
#I just saw a post on Twitter about the feeling of not having teenage romantic interaction and how it leaves you feeling really wrong#and everyone in the comments is like 17-19 and here I am at 25 thinking about how#well anyways I’m sorry I know it’s silly I’m just a little tired is all#being lonely stinks 🫠 and I don’t ever want y’all to feel burdened by my feelings#so I try not to make those feelings seem so big#I should start tagging these again#my talk posts ? I used to tag them but I would forget#I guess I’ll do that from now on#melifails#oh oh since I already made this post I might as well blab#I 😭 am high key tempted to download tinder#I don’t *want* to actually use it I just wanted to see 👉🏽👈🏽#but I think you need an account and idk I don’t wanna seem desperate#not in a shaming other people and myself type of way#absolutely not I think it’s awesome that it exists#I mean in a ‘my mom used to brag about how I didn’t care about boys only school to all the family members at parties’ type of way#in a ‘Melissa be honest are you a lesbian?’ badgered type of way#in a ‘because if you are I love you’ ‘no boys just don’t like me’ type of way#in a ‘never admitting to my mom I’m very lonely and only alive for my family’ type#of way#that one didn’t let me finish 🗣️#anywyas I feel very shallow because this doesn’t really matter does it#there are real problems in the world and I’m but a spec of dust waiting to be scooped up by the broom#🧎🏽♀️ I’m sorry I’m making it seem like a bigger deal than it really is#I’ll be better about it#all that aside#my best friend invited me to go to universal in September and I 😤😤 I gotta prepare myself for the burden of prolonged outdoor activities#🥺 tbh I’m scared I’m not going to fit in the seats for the rides#that’s how we became friends: she stuck with me when I didn’t fit on a ride. I never told her that was the day I loved her and it still make#me cry. forever grateful for her and I want her to be happy she’s the Eli I’m always talking about :3 anyways this is my last tag (30limit)
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At this point it feels like I’m not even back at square one. It’s more like I’m at the lowest point my life can possibly get.
#before I started uni my life was shit but I had one friend and the hope that uni life would make things better#it did#but unis over#now it feels like that one friend I did have has forgotten about me and hasn’t got any time for me (which is fair but it’s sucks)#I only see my undergrad uni friends once a year (I love them still but I don’t even get texts nowadays)#as for my postgrad friends I haven’t heard from them at all - they barley even spoke to me at graduation#I also lost my long term boyfriend of 4 years which was great ✌️#so really back to square one on that front#but really I’m even lower than square one#I don’t have the hope of going back to uni because I’ll never be able to afford a PhD#as for a job it really feels all sorts of hopeless - I’ve had a couple of interview at this point but I doubt I’ll get the jobs and at this#point it seems really hopeless applying to most places because every job I apply to has 100+ applicants and even if I have the exact#experience required I get overlooked#then this whole thing with my sister - we’ve always had a good relationship - I’ve always loved being with her - but she said I was a#harasser and that she felt like she was in an abusive relationship with me because I asked for her help with something#the help being something pretty insignificant overall - like few minutes of your time - check over something for me and help me download it#I just this has absolutely wrecked me - I can’t believe she thinks of me that way as an abuser? because I asked for her help#I always help her in anyway I can - it feels like I’m lying about this because how can she think I’m abusive over such a small thing#I just don’t think I’ll ever get over it#I don’t think I can have the same relationship with her again. I can’t ever ask for her help again. and I certainly don’t want to help her#anymore if it’s just gonna be a one way street where I help her for hours on end but can’t ask for her help without her viewing me as#an abuser of some kind#I just have no one but my parents now - I’m so lucky to have parents that love and care about me#but I just want to cut off all my hair and runaway. I just want to be a different person because being myself has gotten me nothing & no one
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Tumblr might be straight shooting itself into death with all the greedy copycat changes, but by far the biggest enemy on the world wide web for me is Microsoft SharePoint
#i hate sharepoint with burning passion#GIVE ME FIELDS BITCH WHY DO YOU THINK I USE WORD#and i just. cant tell my boss that i need to use fields or else making fillable forms on sharepoint is uselss.#she doesnt know.#so now i have to download it and then reupload it again#so. as a result. we have like a list of equipment that other people are supposed to tick in what they want but they cant delete the previous#ticks and since we dont have a blank template and always just recopy a filled one we never know what is meant#and i hate it with BURNING passion#id rather send docx to everyone personally but thats too OUTDATED#she said it wasnt cool that i sent everyone an excel file instead of sharepoint#GOODMORNING BOSS YOU SUCK WITH YOUR STUPID DREAMS ABOUT FUTURISTIC ENVIROMMEMT#BECAUSE THE FUTURISTIC ENVIRONMENT IS NOT FUNCTIONAL#LET ME SEND DOCX AND XLSX AS FILES THAT ONE SHOULD EDIT ON THEIR COMPUTER ITS BETTEE THAN THE HELL IM LIVING IN#and dont get me started on formatting in sharepoint either its hell#you cant even text wrap a picture so it works#and where on earth can i even find my files. in a folder. i dont need the suggested page or recent page i need my documents in a folder and#i need the shared folder in a folder. why would i#arrgh#i just hate sharepoint with burning passion
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a hundred sunsets (sjy)
pairing: jake x afab!reader
synopsis: Using a dating app in order to find a lover rarely worked properly to you, which was the reason you never planned to do so. But bumping into someone so charming as you texted your possible future love interest wasn’t on your plans either.
my's note: hello!!! it's not only my first time writing in english but also my first time using tumblr to post a story i’m honestly kinda nervoussjdjdjs. a few things I want to say before anything: those are fictional characters, also i know almost nothing when it comes to other country’s educational systems sooo i’m sorry if something is off, and mostly important: enjoy!!!
i wasn't planning to write this much but i think i got a little carried away lol
warnings: quick mention of alcohol (all characters are of age!), slow burn kinda?, at least one ‘kms’ joke srry, strangers to friends to lovers, pet names (sweetheart, pretty, sugar, etc..), lot of language, jake is downnn baddd, there’s a slightly jay x y/n moment (they go on a date lol) but not too much dw!!!, reader blushing/turning red! eventual smut (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT) - jake is kinda a sub, oral sex (both), unprotected sex (don’t do it!!!), j. cums inside (consensual), overstimulation (m), slight dacryphilia. enha’s jay, sunghoon and heeseung + lesserafim’s yunjin and chaewon as side characters. LMK IF I FORGOT SOMETHING.
wc: 22k
NOT PROOFREAD.
EXTRA (epilogue kinda?)
As comfortable as your couch was and even though you very much loved watching “Pitch Perfect”, that wasn't the fun weekend you had planned, actually you didn't plan anything at all. But there you were, licking your fingertips in order to clean up the salt flakes of the chips you devoured during the last minutes.
It wasn't like you really cared about what your lifestyle was turning into during the few months that passed by, opting to stay at home doing your little things here and there, taking a fair break from the crazy parties at suspicious places alongside a lame try to hang out with very random people...
The initial excuse of "I'll focus more on my studies" was holding a bit, however you couldn't help but feel bored at your choices at this point.
You sighed, opening the message app on your phone and re-reading the last texts you received in your friend group.
Jinnie 💘: my sweet little y/n i’ve been here watching you ROT down in your apartment and i’m tired!!! sure you don’t wanna party anymore or wtv BUT FOR GOD’S SAKE i love you but truth be said YOU NEED TO GET LAID!!!! download the app pleeeeasseeee it’s not like you’re gonna match with a weirdo (i guess Chaebae 💖: Worst case scenario you just call me and I go to rescue you with my very muscly arms Best case scenario you win a good fuck !
You laughed again at the texts, picturing Chaewon with her baby face and a very packed body. Would she be able to really punch someone on the face in order to protect you? For sure she would. And she didn't even need muscly arms or whatever.
Being friends for God knows how long you thought about trusting them. They wouldn’t try to mislead you, right?
You always had little to no interest in dating apps. The few times you tried you constantly felt like you were practically selling yourself as some product with specific traits, where the buyer doesn't have enough chance to get to know more parts of you before anything, chasing for the next step so eagerly.
Although your heart beats fast for people you just met seemingly outwardly interesting, the real feeling of wanting to be with them, to go out on dates, to trust enough to let parts of yourself to be shown comfortably needs time and usually grows slowly.
You never really dated anyone in order to fulfill momentary desires, your own body wouldn't let it happen as you lose interest as soon as you feel too pressured by the other part or when the connection wasn’t clicking right.
Chaewon and Yunjin were different though. They had the free spirit to just hit that one night stand and be happy about it. You were happy about it, loving to listen to their crazy dates and nights out, sharing the most terrific stories about it while drinking some wine on your balcony.
Nevertheless, you were kinda desperate. Your last relationship ended one year ago, the one you rooted for a very long time – two years and five months, to be exact, until one day you caught him cheating on you with one of his "best friends that you don’t have to worry, baby". Very much cliché but also a big trauma in your life, leading you to this very moment of neediness but not enough courage to trust someone again.
Since then you have been hooking up once and a while with random people you met at parties, but never felt right or enough especially because you tried so hard to either not get attached – and with that lose the brief sexual interest – or on the very other side of the hand, to build up some kind of relationship.
Every single one turning into a big failure.
Sighing again, your fingers typed on the screen keyboard.
You: Can you send me the name again? Chaebae 💖: OH??? YUNJIN Jinnie 💘: I KNOW [LFS] hope you enjoy!! hihi You: What's with the acronym lol Chaebae 💖: "Love at First Sight" You: Oh god And you rly think it’s a good idea? Chaebae 💖: ..yeah? Jinnie 💘: a great idea actually! You chuckled. What could go wrong?
Everything went wrong.
Not every single thing, but a bunch for sure.
You didn’t know if your taste was too specific or if overall men were just that boring. You had good features, your pics weren’t that bad either and your personality… Liking video games, some astronomical stuff, movies and dogs couldn’t be a big red flag, right?
But every match got you thinking “what happened to the old ‘hi, how are you?’”. Maybe because of those exact traits you put on display made the weird nerds attracted to you as a potential match, thinking their fantasies would be fulfilled by you.
Of course you understand people on those kinds of apps sometimes have very clear goals setted, but how frustrating is it to try to have a good conversation and the least creepy answer be “is it weird that i want you sucking me while i play league of legends? lmao”?
No matter how defeated you were feeling you weren’t one to give up. And that leads to this very moment as you type fast on your phone with your current attempt.
Park Jongseong, or just Jay, was hot. Like, very hot. And his talking wasn’t going to weird places so far, which at this point was a big win. He was funny and somewhat endearing, sharing avidaly about his travels and his music interests with so much passion that you started to rethink your own life choices thus far – was the ongoing college degree a good choice? Should you give up everything and start to live as an artist?
Lost in your train of thoughts about maybe having found somebody worthy of your time as you walked down the hallway heading to your next lecture of the day, you didn’t expect to hit your face straight into someone’s chest. A very strong and hard chest by the way, you thought briefly, scented with some woody essence that got straight into your senses. The sweet voice of the owner wasn’t expected either.
“Oh shit, I’m so sorry!”, the boy uttered with a worried tone looking down at you trying to see if he had hurt you in some way. You almost didn’t catch his thick accent. “Are you okay?” he questioned softly, still concerned. You blinked a few times before coming back to reality, looking up confused at his face and answering hurriedly with slightly widened eyes.
“I’m the one who should be sorry! God, I’m so stupid, I should be more careful,” you started to blather as you lost yourself in that pretty face you just hit into. The whole combo was breathtaking. Plump glossy red lips and puppy eyes full of worry; the silky brown hair was just as normal as any other brown hair but what the fuck was that face? “I was looking down at my phone and I didn’t see y–”, you were interrupted by the honeyed voice again “I mean, I was also using my phone and didn’t see you either,” he chuckled. “You’re fine, sweetheart.”
Your eyes widened even more at the same time as a smirk decorated his beautiful lips. You don’t know what got you more flustered, the pet name or the double meaning of that simple phrase. You could feel your cheeks burning hard and your first instinct was to look down to the floor and wonder if hiding yourself beneath the tile was a good option.
“Well, sorry again,” he said and you forced yourself to swallow down the saliva that got stuck on your throat and to look up again, facing now a cute small and shy smile that made your heart beat fast. Too fast. “See ya!” and just like that he went his own way, not even waiting for your response.
You were sure someone had glued the sole of your shoes on the ground while you two had that small and awkward talk, because there’s no way your legs stopped working properly just because of him.
You looked over your shoulder in order to see his back going away but it was already too late, since he wasn’t around anymore. You thought to yourself he was certainly a new student, because you would have noticed him sooner. How could you not?
His chocolate eyes and sweet voice were the only things on your mind as you picked up your phone to text back Jay, trembling a bit from the encounter still.
You: of course we can see each other this friday!! :)
You tried your best to fully focus on your upcoming assignments, but your library time has reduced quite a bit and even in your house your attention was wandering constantly. For the last three days you walked around your whole campus trying so hard to bump into that good-looking visage one more time, going back and forth that hallway hoping to see that guy.
Describing his appearance to Chaewon and Yunjin didn’t help a bit, especially because everything you could remember was his sweet voice, his silky brown hair and his very beautiful smile. Just like any other guy.
But he wasn’t.
He looked smooth, confident and whatever other compliment you could build to him – like, you never really met him to know more than just the appearance, and his looks exuded that so you just guessed. The fucking “sweetheart” coming from his mouth sounded too good for your own heart. And that was everything you got from him. Not even a glimpse of something else like what classes he got or anything like that.
“I don’t know, I’m starting to worry you are seeing ghosts or making people up, girl”, Yunjin said as her hands unwrapped her sandwich right before she took a big bite.
“I’m not!” you whined with a pout. “I swear to god he exists. I need him to exist. He’s too fine,” you whispered the last part, even though they both heard you.
“This is definitely something someone who is starting to see things would say, y’know that, right?” Chaewon said with a laugh, making you chuckle a bit because, well, it’s true. How does one prove a person exists given that no one but you saw him?
The campus was big enough for you not to see him ever again, however after the quick encounter you noticed he walked towards the end of the hallway, to classes that only someone with an area of study similar to yours would go to.
“This is frustrating,” you stated, looking at the people wandering around still hoping to see him. Your lunch already forgotten in front of you.
“Don’t you have a date in like a few hours?” Chaewon questioned with a raised eyebrow. “Shouldn’t we be worrying about you and that hot Jay guy instead of you and the we-don’t-even-know-if-he-exists guy?”
“She’s right, baby,” Yunjin added. “Jay looks adorable. You should focus on him.”
You nodded defeated, sighing and forcing yourself to re-read your texts with the said guy. “You’re right”, you smiled a bit.
Jay: Looking forward to our date tonight! <3
You: yeah, me too :)
And just like that the afternoon has arrived and you got yourself in a dilemma of clothing and accessories and shoes and makeup and even between your perfumes! Everything seemed terrible together, nothing was right, no cloth piece looked good enough to match Jay’s insane visuals and taste in style. Through his photos you noticed the way he fashioned himself, wearing fancy brands with a generous constancy, looking too good for yourself.
You were on the verge of crying when Yunjin called you, as if she felt in her guts you needed her.
“Hey,” you answered the call, quickly accepting the change to a video call and propping your phone on your desk. “How we doin’, baby?” She asked curiously with a big excited smile. “Why aren’t you ready yet?” You noticed she had makeup on and was doing her hair while talking to you.
“Not doing well, Jinnie…” you pouted, looking at the mess around you. You were dealing with a lot of emotions at the same time and felt so lost. “I don’t know what to wear,” you said sincerely. “I feel like nothing I have here is enough to match Jay’s.”
In your defense, it’s been a long time since you ever went on a date, especially a dinner date and with someone so elegant like Jay.
You weren’t expecting Yunjin almost screaming at you. “Don’t you dare to say anything like that ever again!” You startled. “Y/N, you will look good in any clothing you decide to wear, because you are hot. Not your clothes or accessories or anything. They just complement your own beauty!”
While Chaewon normally was the one who would speak up for the whole group in terms of defending her girls, Yunjin worked on the other part of bringing the mood and the self esteem up. And both of them always did a great job.
“You are so fucking right, Yunjin,” she smiled proudly after you spoke, continuing her job on doing her hair.
You looked around one more time, getting out of the frame just to change yourself in a simple black dress long enough to cover half of your tights and the exact amount of tightness that hugged your curves with close perfection. “Thoughts?” You appeared again in front of the camera after a few minutes of trying some accessories.
“Sexy. And pretty. You are so getting laid tonight!” You chuckled. “I think I’m not the only one, though?” You wiggled your eyebrows playfully and she just giggled, before saying a quick goodbye and ending the call.
Just like you, she had things to get done.
Putting on some lip gloss as a final touch, you were ready. And just in time as you felt your phone vibrating inside your purse with Jay's text.
Jay: I’m here :) You: Coming!
The big car greeting the door of your building was expected at some point, nonetheless your shocking expression was hardly disguised with a nervous smile. As Jay stepped out of his car, you quickly analyzed his outfit and had to take a breath because his white button up shirt with the sophisticated black trousers was getting yourself out of orbit. You felt a little dizzy when his hand positioned on your waist as he leaned to greet you with a little kiss on the cheek and a pretty smile.
He opened the door for you and when you both had settled down on the car seat, he said “You look great, Y/N”. With his help, you put on the seatbelt and thanked with a kind smile. "You look good yourself too, Jay."
The drive to the restaurant was quite normal, a few words being exchanged here and there, the conversation was pretty ordinary. You were a pile of nerves and you had to almost physically stop yourself from moving your legs up and down due to the feeling of anxiety. It’s not like Jay was making you uncomfortable, but you didn’t felt too comfortable either. The whole fancy type of thing was getting you too hesitant for a first date. You were more like a cafe date girly, stargazing at some open air park or maybe a picnic. Now you were blaming yourself for not letting that out beforehand.
Jay parked the car at the parking lot. “We’re here”, his voice broke you out of your mind and when you glanced up at the restaurant you felt like dying inside.
Too fancy.
“It’s… amazing,” was everything that slipped out your mouth as you got out of the car with Jay’s help. “I’m glad you liked it, princess.”
The pet name didn’t get you the much you hoped it would, actually it made you think about the fucking hallway guy and his smooth “sweetheart” saying, sending shivers down your spine.
When both of you reached the table reserved under the name Park Jongseong and you looked through the menu, you knew you were fucked up. With no shame, though, you asked “Could you order for me? I know little to no ingredients on this paper.”
Jay let a small breathy laugh and nodded ordering for both of you. He picked a wine impressively saying the name and the year and whatever other things wines have in its description trying to impress you. However, your focus was on the view that you finally noticed on your right side that faced a big window. The night sky was impressive and the moon was shining prettily.
“Enjoying the view?” he asked after sipping a bit of his wine. “Yeah, it’s incredible. I love the moon, actually I–” you didn’t had the chance to even start on your probably long talk about how much interested you are in the moon, being cutted of by Jay.
“Did you know that once I almost had the chance to go to the moon?” Your head snapped so fast towards his direction that you thought you would break your neck. “What?” The discredited and doubtful expression adorning your face was so clear still you were not afraid of showing it off.
With that, you discovered a not so good part of Jay: his somewhat annoying and exaggerated personality of trying to impress you with exorbitant things, too different from the texts you guys had exchanged. You had no interest knowing that his first birthday present was diamonds or that his dad bought him a car even before he turned eighteen. Let alone that he traveled to every single place you said during the conversation.
The way he would blurt out interrupting you in order to say "It's so amazing there! You would love the beaches and the museums, and the..." so it goes, every single time was really angering you.
Feeling left out in a duo talk was a new experience to you. How could someone be so full of himself and act like his life is the only one that matters? His gentlemanly aura was falling down very fast.
“You don’t seem to be enjoying our date,” he pointed with elegance when you went full quiet, looking directly at you. You sipped a bit of the wine that actually tasted too bad for your palate, noticing how half of your food was left out on your plate. You forced yourself to eat as much as you could handle, but the aftertaste of that food was worse than the taste itself.
“Oh, now you noticed me,” you artificially smiled.
“What do you mean by that?” he asked, a bit offended. You got nervous, but didn’t let that get on you. “I mean that for the past two hours all you talk about is yourself. At first I was like ‘okay, this is how we know each other!’, but since then I haven’t had the chance to talk about anything related to myself, like my likings or whatever,” you vented, having to take a deep breath and drink some more wine afterwards.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t get it,” Jay seemed honestly confused.
“Are you stupid?” the question slipped your tongue a bit too fast for your own thinking. You widened your eyes and covered your mouth with your hand. “I’m sorry I–”
“I don’t think I’m stupid, but I really don’t get it. It’s my first date in a while and I don’t really remember having to listen to the girls at all…”
Squinting, you questioned genuinely, “What do you mean? Like, the girls you took out on dates just… listened to you bragging about diamonds and travels?” He kinda mimicked your expression and replied as if it was obvious “...Yeah…”
After you blinked a few times you recomposed yourself and drank the whole wine on your glass at one go wishing you could just get drunk enough to forget that night. Jay watched you with a fazed expression as you got up from your chair. “I’m sure you’ll find someone that likes you the way you are. But with all due respect, to me, you kinda… Y’know. So I’m leaving.” You pointed with your thumb to your back, not even knowing if the exit was that way. “It was… an experience, I think.” You forced a smile. “Do I have to pay for something?”
“No, don’t worry about that,” he was quick in his response, feeling a bit ashamed and soon adding “But I can get you home, you just have to wait for me to p–”
“Nah, I’m fine. I’ll call a cab or whatever,” you interrupted him as soon as you could, not wanting to spend any more second with him. Being in a closed space with him for more than a few seconds would be too embarrassing.
“Y/N, come on. It’s the least I can do for you. You don’t have to walk alone at night, it can be dangerous.” You sighed, tapping his shoulder softly when you got closer to him. “Jay, it’s fine. It was not meant to be,” you tried to sound certain but what left your mouth was a mix of sneering with a doubtful tone. When he said nothing more, you left.
You were free. And also hungry. And a bit tipsy.
Maybe it was not the best idea to walk alone at that time of the night, but somehow you managed to feel better outside than with Jay. He was great, but definitely not for you.
You questioned yourself if calling Yunjin or Chaewon or maybe both could be a good idea, but knowing them they would show up in no time and try to beat the crap out of Jay and you weren’t in the mood to witness a murder. Actually all you needed was food. And maybe a cozy place. Nevertheless you typed on your phone just to update your girls.
You: Date went down the hole Guy’s kinda suck ngl Chaebae 💖: WDYM ARE YOU OKAY DO YOU NEED ME TO GET THAT BASTARD OR WHAT WHAT DID HE DO WHERE ARE YOU Jinnie 💘: i’m very much drunk rn but tell me his address and i'll kick his ass and get you home or are you home already?
You laughed at the quick replies you received and typed some reassurance to them while continuing your walking process. Your goal at that point was to find a convenience store where you could get some lamen and perhaps a soda.
While you wrote down your last message walking slowly not to trip, you bumped into someone, face straight to their chest.
Firm and cunning hands held you by the waist since you lost balance because of your heels, preventing you from falling. Before you could even say anything, that fucking woody essence went directly through your senses and it was as if history was reescribing itself, like a gift from fate. This time, you were fully in his arms.
You looked up. “I’m so– Oh, you again?” He showed his charming smile. Because of the proximity you noticed how the corner of his lips were a bit curvy. So attractive and for what?
Just like the last time, you blinked twice before realizing what really was happening, feet fixed on the ground. “I’m starting to consider that you like bumping into my chest, sweetheart,” he said with a grin, his mentoled breath hitting straight on your face.
Thank god his hands still held your waist, otherwise you would definitely fall. Your baffled expression had him chuckling a bit. “Did I hurt you?” he asked with care, looking directly at your eyes. His pretty chocolate eyes were hidden behind black specs this time.
You kept gazing stupidly at him like he was a distinct specie, an alien or something, not being able to say a word. Your throat was dry, you were sure you had lost the ability of talking. “Have you forgotten how to talk, pretty one?” He sniggered and bold but gently placed a strand of your hair behind your ear with his free hand. You shivered and almost leaned into the touch. “I remember you having such an endearing voice,” and just like that you finally let your body respond and blushed, taking a deep breath while starting to move away from him “I’m sorry, I didn’t see yo–”
“Cut that off, sweetheart," he let you go, making sure you were stable on your feet. You missed the warmth of his body on yours right away. Also you took your time to appreciate his clothing. The deep red shirt with white stripes covered with a black jacket looked too good on him. "I’m worried our encounters will keep happening like this. You might end up getting hurt for real,” the concerned tone did not go unnoticed, even mixed with the teasing-flirtatious one.
Your eyes wandered his face quickly before you let out a chuckle and diverted your attention away. You decided to ignore the buzzing sound of your phone as you put it inside your purse. “That wouldn’t be fun, would it?”, you said.
“Definitely not,” you looked back at him, caughting the shining eyes staring at you already like all he had down his sight was you. “A beautiful face like yours cannot be hurt, am I right?” And again there was that too attractive sly smile adorning his lips. You decided to smile back but shyly yet unable to hold the visual contact for more than a few seconds, cheeks still reddened.
“I don’t know you enough to say that but you seem a bit… off”, he was now looking at you with his gleaming puppy eyes, head slightly tilted to the side. “Yeah, I might be a little bit tipsy.”
Normally you would be mad at the fact the small amount of wine was hitting that hard, blaming your weakness towards alcohol for making you feel kinda dizzy and too bold for your own good – you internally debated if that dizzines came from the alcohol or from other sources, like the very good looking man standing in front of you.
Still you thanked the fearless feeling running through your veins at that very moment, otherwise where would you find enough courage to say what you said next?
“Are you down to get some lamen at some random convenience store with me?”, you had no idea what your words could mean to him and honestly weren’t expecting much, but as soon as his face lit up like you told him he won a good amount of money, you felt victorious. “Is this your way of flirting? Because if it is, it’s working on me.”
“That’s good to know, nameless boy”, you scoffed with a seductively undertone, the little smirk on your lips and your now boldness to maintain eye contact making him laugh as a failed attempt to hide his flustered self. The next moment you both were greeting each other with a quick handshake after he offered his hand to you. “I’m Jake”.
The hallway boy finally got a name, and not only that, you were now sure of his existence.
Sitting on a bench at the little shop you managed to find, the angry owner’s expression facing you two was as clear as crystal water and got you thinking if you were being too loud. Without caring much you just let it be, since being with Jake apparently meant you will be noisy eventually. It was not necessarily his fault, the both of you just shared too many common interests that made it difficult not to get overly excited during the conversation.
It all began with just a normal “no way you like this flavor!” – with a very strong Australian accent from his side – and since then the flow went smoothly. His company had been greatly enjoyable so far and you let yourself be more and more comfortable about sharing some self information.
For example at some point you discovered he was a physics student, and with that you instantly shared about your love for the moon – also the lack of acknowledgement about it. You explained that you were affectionate to the moon because of its beauty, shining brightly in the sky even when behind heavy clouds. Looking at it always made you feel somehow free, especially when some breeze hits your body simultaneously.
Jake carefully listened to you with fond eyes and after you finished, he started to explain a bit of theory to you, sounding too smart. He looked very attractive saying words you didn’t even know the meaning behind and you noticed you were paying way too much attention to the way his charming lips were moving as he did so.
And just like that you traveled around many subjects. You being more emotional and Jake more rational, respectfully giving each other the chance to speak, constantly but easily finding ways to match one’s energy. You finally felt heard that night. And one of the topics being, of course, the whole date situation.
“Ok, so what you’re telling me is that this Jay guy told you about his whole financial status, which I admit makes me kinda envious, and you still managed to end up here with me at some very random convenience store eating cheap lamen?”, he shook off the empty package of said lamen, staring at you with an amusement look.
“Yep,” you nodded, slurping the last bite of your food. “And also I called him stupid.”
“At his face,” he completed the very important piece of information, finishing his food as well. Jake licking his lips to clean it up didn’t go unnoticed by you. “I swear if I was Jay I would be crying right now,” he stated as a fact and you groaned.
“Don’t make me feel bad for him, please,” you uttered with a whine and he laughed at you, his eyes turning into little crescents as he did so. “I swear he was nice and prolly had good intentions, but y’know…” you left unfinished, but Jake concluded for you. “He bragged about diamonds hoping you would fall for him or something.”
You furrowed your eyebrows and shook your head before drinking the last sip of your soda, “yeah, definitely not my type.”
Jake decided to restrain the urge of asking what your type would be, a little afraid he was off league. “Well, at least you got on a date with me,” he sneered. You chuckled.
“I knew I would hit my pretty face directly on your so toned chest when I walked out that date,” you said sarcastically and then added “that’s why I decided to go in the first place.”
You were feeling way better now, belly full of good food that really pleased your taste buds and not drunk anymore, although you still let the boldness command your words through the talking once and while. You found out that behind Jake’s flirtatious and teasing way of speaking to you, there was also a very sheepish boy that would get flustered from time to time, like right now. He laughed off and drank the rest of his soda in order to run away from your very sharp but playful eyes.
Jake was so entertained by you. The way you expressed yourself so cheerfully and vibrantly. Whenever some topic of your liking was on the track your eyes would instantly get an almost childish sparkle as your hands motioned in a very exciting way and your detailed explanations would be voiced out.
Also he discovered you were a lot more confident than he thought you could be. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t liking this side of yours, audaciously flirting with him whenever you got the chance to do so, without holding back your bold responses. The feeling of the top of his ears burning knowing they were very much red was starting to become common for him. He did not had to know that you not only noticed his reactions, but was loving every minute.
Despite that, he tried to keep his cool.
“What are you up to after here, sugar?”, Jake asked forcing a nonchalantly tone while playing with the rings adorning his fingers, and yet again you were forced to remember the fucking cute pet names that got you flushed everytime he dared to say them. You looked away for a bit before answering.
“I don’t know, maybe go home… Watch some videos until I fall asleep”, you shrugged. Early on that day you weren’t expecting to find yourself in a situation like that, actually the whole program was to get “dicked down” – as Chaewon worded. However, you weren't disappointed either with how the evening turned out to be.
“Come on, Y/N,” your name went out too smoothly on Jake’s plumpy lips, his honeyed voice never failing to make you flutter slightly. Still you tried to keep your composure. “It’s friday and you’re wearing such a beautiful dress to what? To go home, watch videos and sleep?” He mocked the last part and you chuckled before lazily smiling in his direction, fully facing him. You recognized the tiredness starting to consume your body slowly which did not go unnoticed by Jake. Your tinted cheeks from the compliment also did not go unnoticed by him.
“And what would you recommend me to do, Jakey?”
“Jakey?” He raised an eyebrow, liking the way you pronounced the nickname a bit too much, thinking it was definitely something he could grow used to.
You just kept smiling, looking up at him through your eyelashes. You perceived how close on the seat you both were as if a magnet pulled you two together through that night, your bare shoulder slightly brushing against his clothed one from time to time.
“To be honest I just wanted an excuse to point out how gorgeous you are in this dress,” he licked his bottom lip as a habit while you didn’t even have the chance to properly receive the compliment, Jake being too smooth with it. “I don’t have any good recommendations, but if you’re down we c–”
The sound of your phone ringing interrupted Jake’s possible plans, making both of you startle. You saw Yunjin’s name on the screen and wondered whether to answer or not.
“Aren’t you gonna pick up?” Jake asked with curiosity.
“Actually, yes I will,” you remembered you left your friends hanging on your texts and have been unintentionally ignoring them, so it was only fair to give a quick update just to make them sure you are still alive.
“Hi baby”, you picked up the call with a smile, hearing a very drunk Yunjin on the other side. “No, I’m not home yet”, Jake watched as you talked on your phone with a neutral expression. He himself feeling a bit worried with the usage of nicknames and with your cute tone towards the person.
He knew you just went out on a date, assuming that you were at least looking to have some fun, however that fact should not be enough to stop you from being unavailable. Jake thought that a pretty girl like you probably already had a love interest in line.
“Don’t worry, Jinnie. You don’t have to come pick me up”, you glanced over at Jake who was now paying too much attention to the table in front of him, lost in his own mind and also trying to give you some privacy. You grinned, “I’m not alone.” Jake accidentally heard a very loud “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT ALONE?” through your phone and had to hold back a laugh. “I’m with… Someone,” you kept your eyes on him as you spoke to Yunjin, grabbing his attention when you indirectly mentioned his presence. “I’ll talk to you later, yeah?” and then you ended the call with a “Love you, bye.”
“I didn’t mean to hear it, but I’m intrigued…” you knew where Jake was going with that, so you just kept your smile. “‘Someone’, huh?” He said with a smirk, clearly messing with you.
You turned your head to someplace else because no matter how bold you can be sometimes, the following line that you let out made you hesitate a bit beforehand.
“Well, in my defense I don’t plan to introduce you to my friends through my phone, let alone as a mere guy I just met,” although you tried to keep your cheekily tone, it was obvious how shy you were feeling, gazing briefly at Jake’s direction as you said.
Jake hadn’t noticed until now that he was holding his breath a little, relievedly letting it out as he watched your pretty face and expressions. Regardless, the whole phrase made his head spin, replacing previous thoughts with new, more intense ones, all at once. What do you mean by that?
“Then how are you planning to introduce me?” he boldly questioned leaning towards you a little in order to find a way to look you in the eye again, finding adorable your demeanor right now breaking every little eye contact way too quickly.
You giggled.
Jake thought he had just found his favorite sound in the world.
“We’ll see, Jakey.”
Jake rode you home.
He noticed how lazy your hooded eyes started to look and decided to end the “date” instead of taking you to somewhere else, which you particularly found endearing. The bar was low, you admitted to yourself, but a cute guy being considerate for your entertainment other than just leading you anywhere else for his own amusement made your heart flutter.
However, the moment he offered to take you home you immediately refused, emphasizing that he didn't need to worry and that you would not let him waste gas for nothing. The reply he gave was a not so subtle “I don’t care”, alongside with “I’ll not let you freeze outside waiting for a cab and I don’t trust you enough to let you borrow my jacket for tonight,” making you laugh at his little mischievous tone, especially because as soon as you both were in his car he put his black jacket on your shoulders.
“I thought you don’t trust me enough to have it?” You referred to the jacket, feeling too inebriated by its smell.
“There's a big difference between leaving it to you alone without knowing if you'll ever hand me back and letting you have it under my watch, sweetheart.” His smug face looked too charming as he spoke and the damn sweetheart again got to you with ease. You chuckled while watching the street lights passing by.
The ride was calmer than you expected. The radio played on some random station working as a beautiful background to the soft words exchanged between you two. You noticed Jake’s attractive side profile as he focused on the road rambling some physics thing in a very excited way. Your body felt too tired to keep any thoughts on track, leading you to just listen to his sweet voice embracing you mildly until you both arrived in front of your apartment building.
Of course he didn’t let you open the door and also helped you to get out. The touch of his warm hand under yours sended a shiver down your spine.
“Thank you for the ride, Jake,” you said with a gentle smile.
“My pleasure, sugar,” your cheeks reddened hard as you started to take off his jacket. “You don’t have to,” he shook his hand in front of him, refusing to get the clothing piece back. You looked at him with a stunned-confused expression, lips parted a bit. Before you could even protest he interrupted you. “I need an excuse to see you again, right?” And send you a wink.
As if he said just a normal thing, he confidently got back to his car, letting behind a very flustered you.
Little did you know how shaky his hands rested on the wheel as he drove off, looking forward to meeting you again.
Of course you had to spend your whole weekend waiting for Monday to come – a peculiar behavior you admitted to yourself. But neither you nor Jake got each other's phone number so all you could do was to wait and hope for the best. You didn’t even know if you would meet him again at the campus because you searched for him nonstop the last few days and never got the chance to do so, making you regret even more about not getting any information about where to find him.
His jacket rested on your desk chair as you deeply stared at the little stars adorning your bedroom ceiling. Stars that remembered how shiny Jake’s eyes looked when he started to talk about Theory of relativity or anything like that. You also remember paying just enough attention to understand and to keep the talking flow, focusing more on the way his lips moved as doing so.
You groaned, rolling on your bed sheets. How long a weekend can be? You were acting like a teenager for having a crush on a stranger! You knew little to no things about Jake. You knew his age – one year older than you, you knew his majoring and you also found out the reason behind him being at your campus block – he had to deliver some paperwork to a friend of his. But other than some common interests and his music taste, that was it.
Was him a good person? He showed you a good personality for sure, to the point your heart sank with the idea of losing all that excitement to see him again just because he’s good looking and has a great talk. Still you kept questioning yourself. What if he was the player type? Just hitting for one night stand and that’s it?
Monday morning arrived but you did not had enough time to develop any more thoughts when you got to the university. As soon as you reached it, Chaewon and Yunjin flooded you with a very long investigation about what the hell happened that friday.
Talking in person was always an option for the three of you, the feeling of looking eye to eye and reading each other's expressions was more interesting than having to guess it over a phone or video call. Normally you three would pick a place to go and have a little "friends date" and talk about the stuff that happened for hours. However this time you choose to use the excuse you were busy studying, having too many assignments left behind which neither of them bought it from you.
“So Jay sucks?” Chaewon asked. “I don’t like putting it like that,” you murmured. “But yeah, we just didn’t hit it off, y’know?” You just shrugged.
You three were walking towards the class you shared that morning, not caring much about being a little late.
“Baby, you’re too nice,” Yunjin hugged you sideways and smiled at you. “You can say a man is stupid.”
“Actually I did,” you smiled mischievously and they both looked at you with shocked expressions. “Not my proudest moment, but I said it to his face. Unintentionally, I swear!”
Chaewon and Yunjin broke down the shocked expressions to laugh out loud with the idea of you calling your failed date a stupid right to his face.
“And what’s with the jacket?” Yunjin questioned when you stopped to grab your things from your locker.
She knew every clothing piece you had as if it was hers because of your constant need for help in terms of putting together what you like, and even though the jacket looked good on you, definitely wasn't part of your wardrobe.
“It’s Jake’s, I’m planning to send it back to him today.”
They already knew about Jake, but not too much. You shared a little through texts not wanting to fill too much of their expectations. Knowing your two best friends, they would go crazy if you detailed your night out.
They both exchanged glances before Chaewon spoke “If he really exists.”
You rolled your eyes playfully, picking up all you needed from your locker before answering. “He does. And he’s… pretty nice.” You tried your best not to sound too whipped at that time, especially because you were still worrying if he would be loyal to his words or if the whole talk about meeting you again was just a big bluff.
But apparently one thing about Jake it’s that he can counter you with ease. As if you summoned his presence, the honeyed voice that you didn’t realize until now you missed hearing, said from behind you.
“Hey, pretty one.” your head snapped to the direction faster than you would like to admit, meeting the beautiful plump lips turned into a little smile. He looked you up and down, checking on you. “I don’t think I’ll need the jacket back. You look better on it anyway.” His eyes were locked at you, and only you. You had to remind yourself to breathe, because, God Jake was so hot.
That day he opted to wear just a normal white shirt with dark jeans and black shoes. At first he thought about really getting his jacket back, because you didn’t know that but that jacket was his favorite. But as soon as he put his eyes on you and noticed how cute you looked with his clothing piece seeming too big like an oversized one, he gave up.
“H-hi,” you damned yourself for stuttering, being fully aware that your friends looked as astonished as you at that moment, but for different reasons. You started to get the jacket off your body by saying “Of course I have to give it bac–”, he shushed you with his index finger before you could finish and your eyes widened, making you stop all your movements.
“Don’t worry, I meant it when I say you look good on it,” you gulped as you nodded speechless. “Here,” he handed you a little paper and your shaky hands took it, you saw numbers written. “It’s my number, you can text me whenever, yeah?” He licked his lips suddenly feeling nervous.
Apparently being around you was an easy break of his flirtatious self. However, he forced himself on this one and said “I gotta go now, I’m kinda late,” he ruffled your hair gently before leaning close to whispering on your left ear, lips lightly touching your skin “See you around, sugar.”
You immediately choked on your own saliva, your cheeks burning like hell, fully unable to say a word. “And bye to you both as well!” Jake referred to the girls as he started to run down the corridor to his own campus building.
“Bye!” both Yunjin and Chaewon said in unison. You had to blink twice before realizing what just happened. “Girl!!!” Yunjin screamed and you noticed Chaewon covering her mouth as well. “What the fuck?!?!”
“I–” you tried saying anything but you couldn’t, not only because of your own brain turning into mush, but because your friends were way too hyped and interrupted you.
“The way he looked at you?”
“THE PET NAMES!!!”
“‘Pretty one’!? He so down bad, what the actual fuck?”
“And he’s cute as hell!!!”
You were overwhelmed with all of that, walking just because the two girls were forcing you to move forward while keeping squealing about Jake's actions.
“I know that nose can do wonders,” Yunjin said cheekily as soon as you sat in your class seats and you immediately turned to look at her with a terrified expression.
“Huh Yunjin!!!”, you smacked her shoulder with wide eyes and she just laughed together with Chaewon.
As your ordinary Monday normally would go, you were now sitting under a tree reading the latest book your teacher assigned for an assignment. You always loved to take a break from the library and to literally touch some grass, using your free time to catch up with all the paperwork you needed.
A shadow approached you, blocking the sunlight and catching your attention. You didn’t expect to see Jake hovering over you. With a raised eyebrow, you asked. “Are you following me?”
“No, I just missed you.” He ironized, taking a seat near you and looking at your book. “You’re such a nerd,” he mimicked your position, so his head was also resting on the tree behind you two but he was facing you. Too close.
You nervously gulped before saying, “Yeah, cuz I’m the one who likes to show myself off to a girl talking about Theory of relativity and other physical terms”, you sounded too sarcastic and instantly felt bad. “I’m not complaining, by the way,” you whispered looking away, part of you hoping for him not to hear but due to the proximity he obviously heard. And smiled.
Jake was afraid you could hear his heartbeats at that moment. Your side profile enchanted him in ways he could not describe. Your shy little smile got him thinking if it would be too weird to take a picture to have it with him forever.
He looked away, enjoying the silence.
“It’s very calm over here,” he said in a deep low voice, resting his chin on his knee. You took advantage of him not facing you anymore and watched him as he watched other people wander around, almost forgetting to say something back.
“Yeah, I like it here because it’s always calm like this,” he looked back at you when you talked. You forced yourself to keep eye contact for as long as you could, trying your best to ignore your burning cheeks.
Jake looked away. You noticed he was flustered too.
“And what about you, Jakey?” The little nickname spilling out your mouth like sugar, he almost melted. “Isn’t your campus like a few blocks from here?”
He chuckled, “Yeah, but I’ve got like an hour to spare before my next class.” You hummed. “So I decided to come over and thought I could maybe bump into you again,” he slyly smiled at you. You laughed at the term he used.
“But I can go away if you want me to, sweetheart.”
You instantly shook off your head and almost grabbed his arm as if trying to stop him from getting up. “You can stay.”
“Okay.”
And he did.
There was a brief silence moment before you plucked up the courage to ask. “What’s with the pet names?”
“You don’t like them?”
The worried puppy eyes he gave you almost broke your heart. “It’s not that… It’s just, y'know…”, you shrugged, trying to find the right way to put it. “Do you use them with everyone?”
You needed to know. You noticed Jake shuffling on his seat a bit, as if he was uncomfortable. And well, he wasn't fully comfortable either. There was no good explanation to why he called you all of that, and no, he didn’t use pet names with no other people but you. He dated two other girls before and of course called them cute pet names while being with them, but now you were the only one on his mind since the first encounter and he could not help it.
Jake was a believer of “love at first sight”, however he understood the necessity of getting to know the other person if he wanted to build something with them and never really got carried away with the primary delusional feeling.
With you he was kinda different. He let his flirtatious side shine way more easily than he would normally do. When he noticed how cute the girl who bumped on his chest that day was, he just let it all out. Little did you know that his first instinct of flirting with you was due to his nervousness.
Now he would be down to a one night stand type of thing if you wanted to, but didn’t sound right to do so. You looked too precious to him. He wanted to be close to you and get to know every single piece of you before anything. He wanted to know your likings, interests and overall personality.
He could let himself fall in love with you.
Immersed in his own thoughts, he didn’t even realize he had become quiet and left you hanging kinda in a compromised position.
“You know what? Forget it,” you shook it off, feeling embarrassed. It wasn't like he owes you any explanation about his life or what he does with it. If he decided to play with your feelings, then you should know your position of not falling for it. “Tell me something very nerdy about your area,” you asked brightly. “I’ve got a few minutes still.”
You noticed how bold you became around Jake. Apparently that's how it worked between you two.
He would be the one starting the whole thing, making you get too flustered for your own good with the cute names and shameless flirting, until he breaks out the character for a few seconds, enough for you to be the audacious one and make him blush.
At some point you started to get used to Jake’s presence in your everyday life. Both of you would constantly reach for the other during free time just to hang out, and sometimes to grab some food together. Yet you never let him get too close, fearing that you would let yourself get too attached to the feeling. You made it a rule not to fall for him and you’ve been holding on so far, even with Jake making it way too difficult.
Jake was sweet, caring and not afraid to express his feelings when he needed to. Not only that but he also would remember little details about you, like your favorite coffee order or the fact that you can only listen to the first half of a song because you think the rest sucks – Jake always skips it when playing on his car radio.
He got along with your friends easily as he’s a well spoken person as well, and even introduced you to his own friends. You met Heeseung and Sunghoon, the last one being a classmate of Jake while Heeseung studied music, both older than you. You found out that Heeseung was the said friend who made Jake wander around your campus causing the whole bumping-into-each-other situation and it became an inside joke among all of you.
Jake made it normal to ask you out from time to time within the excuse that both of you were overwhelmed with the university duties and deserved to see the outside world.
So after today’s classes you walked down the parking lot after receiving a text from him saying he would take you to a place – he refused to tell you where you were going.
He was already waiting for you, being too attractive as he leaned against his car while looking at something on his phone. Your heart started to pump fast in your chest, making you take a few deep breaths beforehand.
“Hey,” you greeted when you got closer and he glanced over at you, immediately opening a big smile and embracing you in a hug.
“Hi, gorgeous,” you took your sweet time to feel the warmth of his body and perfume. “Ready to go?”
You moved back from the hug and watched as he opened the door car for you.
“Mhm, but you got me extra curious, so I’m having high expectations,” you tried to exaggerate in your words in order to get a little hint, but of course Jake was already getting immune to your tricks at this point so he just laughed.
“I’m sure you’ll like it, sweetheart.”
You settled yourself in his car, feeling way too comfortable with the amount of time you already spended there with him as you threw your bag on the backseats and chose the song for the trip.
Jake dared you to show him your favorite songs every time you two drove together, but you wanted to get to know his music taste as well so you two decided to alternate who chose the songs for that day. And it was your turn.
“Paramore for today, huh?” He pointed out with a small smile.
“Yeah, you don’t like it?”
“I love it.”
One of the reasons your heart beat fast when around Jake was the freedom to be yourself and just do whatever you wanted to do, without even noticing you caused the same to him with your charming behavior. Every time he stopped at a red light he would look at you bobbing your head and lip syncing to the lyrics excitedly while doing a little dance.
He tried his best to not show how dearing he was looking at you, but you caught the cute brown eyes facing your side from time to time and the only reaction from both of you was to look away and blush.
As the conversation flowed, he shared a bit of his day to you, telling about how stressed he has been because of his study partner being a pain in his ass, and the only hint of where you were going he let out was “And because of that, I need to de-stress and that’s why we goin’ where we goin’”.
You pouted and forced the best puppy eye you could while looking at his direction. He almost broke out. “You’re mean. You don’t make a girl curious like that.”
“Don’t worry, we are almost there.”
You gave up trying to figure out where you were going and hoped for the best. You knew that with Jake nothing could be bad, because his presence alone was enough.
Jake felt similar to you, not admitting out loud that just the fact that you were with him already reduced a lot of his stress. You may not know that but everyday he was eagerly waiting for the moment you both would meet during the day, and when you couldn't find time to do so, he was thrilled to receive a simple text from you.
Your presence was enough to make him happy.
It didn't take longer than a few songs for you to arrive at the place you instantly recognized as a beach.
“A beach?” You sounded excited, but also a bit confused. You don’t think you have clothes to enter the water and the sun was already starting to set, so you didn’t get much of his idea at first.
Jake parked the car and as usual, he opened the door for you. “Yep. I know it’s kinda late for a swim or anything like that, but it wasn’t planning to do anyways,” he helped you to get out.
Normally he would let your hand go as soon as you felt stable on your feet after leaving the car, but that day he decided to hold your hand as he gently pulled you in the direction he wanted to take you.
You said nothing. How could you? The slender fingers holding yours had broken you down. The air felt thick in your airways as you walked alongside him, heart beating louder and louder while you watched the beautiful view of the sun finding its way down the horizon. The cold breeze hit your face and brought so much peace to your inner self. You could live forever like that.
Jake suddenly stopped walking and since you were a bit behind him, you bumped slightly at his back, hands still together. You looked over his shoulder and gasped. The place you two were now had a better view of the sunsetting and the waves calmly hitting the rocks sounded way too heavenly.
You blinked slowly, reluctantly letting Jake hand go as you walked a bit forward. Behind you, he watched as your hair flew due the breeze.
"It's so pretty..." you uttered under your breath, mesmerized by the look of the orange and pinkish colored sky. You felt like crying.
He took a few steps and glanced at your serene expression.
While you enjoyed the view, Jake enjoyed you.
"Yeah, very pretty."
You had no clue of how fast Jake’s heart was beating right now. He was hypnotized by you, a sudden urge to kiss you building up his mind right away.
“I now understand why you come here to de-stress”, you said after a while, the sound of your sweet voice bringing him back to reality. He had literally lost himself on you at that very moment.
You lazily smiled, feeling extra calm and glanced at Jake, who was already looking at you with soft eyes.
“Thank you, Jakey,” you hugged him sincerely. “For bringing me here and for being here with me. I needed that.”
Jake sighed, hugging you tightly. At this point there was no way he could hide the thump-thump in his chest, and honestly? He stopped caring if you noticed or not.
He stopped caring if you noticed he was – not so slowly – falling for you.
It was a stressful week for you, not only were you on your period but also dealing with a bunch of deadlines. You considered throwing yourself in front of a bus when you realized how left behind you were in your assignments. Your finals getting closer and closer didn’t help either.
For good and long days you almost locked yourself at the library in order to catch up with everything, because even with the help of some friends that shared the classes with you you were barely holding on.
Jake would appear out of nowhere and give you a cup of warm coffee, some muffins and a little kiss on your forehead before heading out and letting you do your thing.
“I just wanna make sure you’re eating well, princess,” he would say every time. And no matter how lovingly his actions would be, you couldn't allow yourself to feel them because of your anxiety of failure.
And yes, ever since you asked about the nicknames and stuff he started to use them more often than your heart could handle, especially after he discovered that you liked them, even if you didn't admit it out loud.
Friday arrived. You wished you could get excited about going out to the little party Jake said Heeseung would be throwing that evening, but you needed a good night of sleep and your whole body was aching due to your period. You just wanted to sink on your bed sheets after taking a hot shower.
One thing that became normal in your life was getting a ride with Jake some days of the week, unfortunately he didn’t have any classes on fridays so you just had to walk your way home. You took your sweet time to feel the cold autumn breeze hit you on the face hoping it would take away all your stress. The buzzling sound of your phone caught your attention as you saw Jake’s text on its display.
Jakey 🐶: Hey there princess It’s been three days since I last saw you and I’m ngl, I kinda miss your pretty face lol I hope you’re doing well I left you a little smth at your apartment. At the door, ofc Don’t freak out, I didn’t stole your keys or broke into your house or smth Please, don’t stress yourself too much <3 And dw, I’m not mad you’re not going to the party Have a good rest, pretty girl. AND PLEASE don’t forget to eat!!!!
You almost cried reading all of that and blamed your hormones for being a mess of feelings.
You: Hi Jakey!! Kinda miss you too you left something to me? i’m kinda scared I’m dealing with cramps rn so I’m not so fine, but I’ll eventually, dw! And yeah, I’ll make sure to eat and rest well enjoy your night, pretty boy <3
You noticed you felt much braver through texts than in person, but this was the first time you were the one using a nickname so you were shaking a bit.
Jakey 🐶: AJDKSSJDJS SORRy I Yeah, uhm No need to be scared, princess, I’m sure you’ll like it Cramps? Take on some medicine, please!! Do u want me to come over? Are u home yet?
He sounded so desperate and nervous that genuinely made you laugh out loud. But with a simple text back saying “no, you go enjoy your night out and I’ll enjoy my bed” you finished the conversation as you finally arrived home.
Near your apartment’s doormat, there was a pretty bouquet of daisies alongside a little box of chocolates. You noticed a little hand note inside the bouquet.
“I remember you saying you like these flowers and everyday I pass by a flower shop and always think about buying it for you, so today I finally did. There’s chocolate too. Hope you like it.
Have a good rest, princess.
Jake”
You took a deep breath in order to hold back the tears trying to escape. Not falling for Jake was a difficult rule to follow, and you didn’t know if you wanted to keep doing it anymore.
“So what you're telling me is that Jake left his house on a fucking Sunday morning and brought you ice cream because you... were feeling too lazy to go buy it yourself?”
“When you put it like that…”
Chaewon, Yunjin and you were sitting at one of the furthest tables in the cafeteria that you usually went to when the three of you wanted to gossip or just meet to catch things up. It was a late afternoon on a Tuesday and you barely had time to see them in the last few days, mainly because you had missed a few classes to finish reading other teachers' required books.
“The real question is: why aren’t both of you dating already?”
Yunjin was flabbergasted by what you were describing about Jake. There’s no way that guy wasn’t in love with you at this point. She didn't understand what was taking you so long to ask him out already, especially because she noticed that Jake was kinda holding himself back.
“Yeah! He follows you like a little puppy and looks at you like you are a goddess or something!” Chaewon added. “I mean, you are a goddess, but to get someone to look at you like that?!”
“Girl, you gotta bag him ASAP!” Yunjin playfully pushed your shoulder, but you weren't feeling that happy about all of it.
You sighed. “But what if I’m just a fun little game to him?”
“What?!” It was funny the way both of them said in unison, but instead of laughing you just continued with a sad voice tone.
“Y’know, he’s been flirting with me since the very beginning. I don’t know. Part of me believes his words and actions, they seem genuine. But the other part is way too afraid of trusting too much,” a single tear ran down your cheek as you frowned. “I don’t want to be hurt again.” You whispered as you looked down.
“Baby,” Yunjin, who was sitting next to you, hugged you sideways and planted a sweet little kiss on top of your head. “We know you’ve been through a lot of shit because of your stupid ex, but I don’t think Jake’s like that.”
Chaewon, who was in front of you, took your hand in hers as she spoke. “Yeah, and you know, If he tries something or if he dares to break your heart, you’ll always have me to make his life a living hell.”
You smiled through the tears running down all over your face. With a reassuring look, Yunjin asked.
“Give it a try, yeah?”
Jake knew what he was getting himself into. He would be fine if you put him in the friendship side, but the thought of having you to himself pleased him way too much. The idea of other guys touching you the ways he wanted to, knowing that none of them would treat you right, consumed his mind as much as the vision of your pretty smile.
The urge of getting physically closer to you was itching him incessantly.
Ever since he discovered that he was in fact falling in love with you, he became unable to get you out of his head. It was like a kind of mantra that chanted your name every time he saw something that reminded him of you, and almost everything reminded him of you.
He didn't had the courage to ask you out on a proper date so far, because even though the both of you had developed an incredibly nice friendship, he was too afraid that he was seeing beyond reality because of his delusional self, and more than that he was scared as hell of losing you.
You probably only thought of him as a friend who you could playfully flirt with, he would say to himself. At the same time, the way he sometimes caught you looking at him seemed much more loving than it should.
There seemed to be more love than friendship in that relationship of yours.
He was also having to deal with the hard job of avoiding kissing you. Recently he found himself getting lost on your lips too often. A dangerous play. Still he kept you as close as he could, hugging you or having at least one of his arms around your shoulder or waist in order to fulfill a bit of his neediness.
Thinking about you and only you, he sighed, finishing his business at his locker, finally reaching the book he was looking for and placing it in his backpack.
"Ok, quick question", Jake almost screamed at your sudden appearance when he closed the metal door, widening his eyes and dramatically putting a hand on his chest. You laughed.
"Firstly, what are you doing here?” He said after catching his breath. “Secondly, why do you like to scare me so much?", he kinda whined and you laughed.
"I just wanted to know if your name is really Jake or if it's a nickname", you smiled innocently. Jake on the other side of the hand didn't buy your "pure" expression, glancing at you with a raised eyebrow.
"Why would you run all the way through here just to ask about my full name, which I’m pretty sure you already know?" He wasn't buying any of that.
"Because I wanna manifest you in my life," you answered like it was obvious and you both began to walk side by side. You were going to be very late to your class but your professor has to understand that sometimes you have more important things to do other than attend classes.
"I thought I was already in your life...?" Jake was trully confused.
"Yeah, but I kinda wanna you in my life more than just what you are right now.”
"What are you talking about, Y/N?" Saying your name was an indicator that either he was serious or very confused, either way you didn't care much so you just carried on with your talking.
“Go on a date with me.” He stopped walking and so did you. Jake looked at you, blinking without saying a word. "On a date, you know,” you motioned with your hands, losing a bit of the courage you had to build up to do all of that. “We go to someplace, grab some food, wait for the night to fall down and boom, stargazing while we talk about our amazing theories of life or whatever.”
Jake gulped, scratching the back of his neck nervously. Normally he would be the one programming the whole thing and just saying you are both heading to somewhere, but to have you asking like that… If he understood it right, you were asking him to go on a real date.
"Sounds like something we already do." He let out a breathy and nervous laugh, still trying to thoroughly understand what you were saying, looking if there was some kind of joke hidden behind your eyes.
You looked extra attractive today, as if you dressed yourself up just for this moment. Just for him. He noticed you were wearing his jacket as well.
"It pretty much is, but at the end of this one I want to be able to kiss you,” you said in one go. “On the lips, if it's not clear."
Jake now was more speechless and completely baffled than ever. He was sure he was dreaming. It became normal routine for him to dream of you lately so of course this was all a trick of his own mind trying to compensate for his neediness of you.
He was so fucking dreaming.
With the lack of response, you thought you fucked up.
“I-I’m sorry, I–”, you started as you felt your confidence running away from you immediately. “Just forget about what I just said, I should not have said anything to begin with. I’m so sorry, ok?” You noticed your hands trembling. Due to your nervousness, everything you had on the back of your mind just went out. “I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to come here and try to take our relationship to a next level or something. But it's been so hard to be around you without wanting you even closer,” you whined. “And I finally got the courage to ask you out on a proper date, but you clearly don't see us like that so forget about it. I’m sor–”
No one. Not a single soul could prepare you to be silenced by Jake’s lips on yours. His hand automatically grabbed your waist as yours went to rest on his chest.
Kissing in the middle of the university hallway wasn’t the ideal way of tasting each other's for the first time so Jake decided to not take too long on holding the contact, breaking it to say “I’m sorry, I needed you to shut up.” His lips brushed on yours as he spoke. You blinked twice and breathed heavily, feeling the touch of his warm hand on your skin as he cupped one of your cheeks. You looked for his brown honeyed orbs, catching them exchanging glances between your lips and your eyes.
“We can go out on a date,” he brushed his thumb softly on your bottom lip. “The one where we go to some place, grab some food, do whatever you want and I can properly kiss you.”
Jake was fighting demons not to kiss you again. He was absolutely certain he would go crazy, just a little taste of you and he already felt like he was starving, his body totally dependent and reactive because of you.
“Okay,” your voice was barely a whisper and you had to use all your strength to stop yourself from leaning in to feel his touch again. Instead, you reluctantly pulled away, immediately missing all of his touches; you felt your skin tingle in every place he had touched you. Still his hand rested on your waist, unable to let you go. “I gotta go,” you noticed how his eyes wandered all over your face, like he was taking a picture with it in order to save it from the rest of the day.
You smiled, hesitantly sliding your hands away from his chest.
“Alright, sweetheart,” before you could let him go, he grabbed one of your hands and planted a gentle kiss at the back of it. “I’ll text you later then?”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
You had to hold a scream when you heard your doorbell ringing. Chaewon and Yunjin who were in a shared video call squealed for you.
They looked more excited than yourself and you really appreciated the effort they took to help you out even with their busy schedule for the day, deciding to call you not only because they knew you would be nervous as fuck but also because Yunjin was willing to help you with your outfit choice.
You ended up wearing something cute, but cozy and warm: a matching pair of a top and long loose skirt, patterned with a black background and some stars and moons, a black boot and as a final touch: Jake’s big jacket. You also did a little hairstyle with two small braids at the front and the rest of your hair loose.
Yunjin noticed how confident you were in choosing the clothing and even doing your hair, showing that you didn’t need much of her help – which normally she would dramatically react to, but today she just felt proud and happy for you.
Jake made you comfortable enough to be yourself whenever you were with him.
And you were going on a date with him.
A fucking proper date.
You said a quick ‘goodbye’ to your girls who replied with a very high pitched ‘good luck!’ and then hung up, walking towards the door and needing to take a few deep breaths before opening it.
As you did, you greeted a very smiley – and hot – Jake.
He was glowing.
Not only was his face glowing but he seemed overall confident. He was wearing a reddish flannel jacket that covered an oversized black shirt together with his everyday silver necklace, jeans and black boots. A perfect combo, especially to you who loved to see a man in red – you once told him about this preference of yours and was questioning if he did it on purpose.
The silky brown strands fell perfectly in place again when Jake ran his hand through it and licked his lips after shamelessly checking you out.
“Hi b– Oh my god, you look stunning.”
Early the day through your texts you decided to go simple but special on the planning due lack of time. The whole idea was kinda in a hurry, but after getting to taste a little of how it is to kiss Jake, you needed the action of kissing him to become an everyday routine as soon as possible, so the initial plan – the date will be happening on a chill day for both of you, mostly likely Friday – was replaced by a very eagerly “Ok, I’m taking you to a place” said by you.
“And you look hot,” the wording flew out your mouth faster than you expected and instantly your eyes went wide.
Jake smirked as he leaned into the door frame. “Appreciate it, baby.”
Baby.
You were so fucked up. There’s no way your heart could handle this the whole night.
Jake noticed the way you just blinked at him without saying a word and he just knew you were absorbing the whole situation before becoming confident over him. It was the way you worked and he loved that.
So he decided to take his sweet time and take a bit of advantage over your flustered self as he walked closer to you. “I brought what you asked,” he sounded a bit too sexy saying such simple words and little did you know that he deepened his voice a bit just for fun.
Due to the closeness, Jake scented your perfume and swore he was getting drunk, too intoxicated by your sweet smell.
You looked at the bag he lifted and nodded, fully in a trance. You forced yourself to snap out of it as you reminded yourself you have a fucking date and finally spoke “Oh, right. I’ll go pick up what I’ve prepared for us!” You walked towards the kitchen. “Do you want anything? Water maybe?”
“Just you.”
You choked on your own saliva as your cheeks started to burn. You foolishly thought that at least Jake wasn’t aware of your reaction, but as soon as you got back from the kitchen after picking up the picnic basket with the sandwiches you made, you realized he was very much aware and messing with you with the flirting as usual. You could see in his eyes a strange mix of false innocence and mischievousness. And of course, in that little game of yours you would always win.
“Well, you already have me,” you winked at him as you pulled yourself together and now was time for Jake to lose his composure, blushing. “Let's go?”
“Y-yeah.”
You gave him an address and he drove you both to the place, fully trusting you. You wanted to surprise Jake since he was usually the one who surprised you, but you hadn't gotten your driver's license yet so you needed him to do the driving in order to achieve your goal. That's why you decided to give him an address a little further away from your final destination, so both of you could walk there without him suspecting anything.
Jake was feeling like a happy puppy, very excited about what was going to happen tonight.
He was curious about your plans, especially after you asked for a picnic blanket and some beverages – “a night picnic?” he asked as you two texted. He remembers you just replying with “lol don’t fool yourself”.
He didn’t know what to expect about the place really, and not only that, he couldn’t stand the urge to kiss you properly. God, he was so in need of you it hurted. Having you next to him, your scent all over him, your sweet and lively presence, and not being able to touch you was driving him insane.
“I don’t wanna you to get high on expectations, Jakey,” you said softly after a while with a concerned voice. Jake had stopped at a red light and the silence wasn’t awkward, but it was undeniable that you were worried about the outcome of that night.
What if Jake doesn’t like what you’ve prepared? What if he thinks you’re too dumb and leaves you? What if he doesn’t really wanna be with you?
“I’ll like whatever you’ve planned, sweetheart,” just like Jake was reading how anxious was your mind, he uttered. “You are my company for tonight. That’s all I need,” he reassured you, holding your hand and resting it on your thigh.
You glanced over at him to see his lips turned into such a gorgeous smile you almost cried. Jake was perfect.
“Okay,” you brought his hand to your lips and planted a small kiss. You tried to let it go after, but he refused.
Jake drove the rest of the way holding you, only letting it go when needed, but catching it again as soon as he could.
The warmth and softness of his touch took all the worry out of your head in a minute, and just like you arrived. Jake parked where you told him to do so and opened the car door and helped you to get out as usual. This time though he intertwined your fingers as he let you guide him through the way.
“Don’t we need to bring the things?”
“Nah, we have something to do before,” you tried to sound enigmatic, forcing an expression which made Jake laugh, totally endeared by you.
“Ooh, so mysterious.”
You both walked for a bit rambling about the surroundings. It was kinda in the middle of nowhere, with nothing much around and plenty of open space. Jake noticed there was a big building and before he could say a thing, you began to explain.
“So I know we both like astronomical stuff, right?” He nodded, looking at you. So pretty. “May I say you especially in a very nerdy way,” you softly pushed his shoulder with yours and he playfully rolled his shining eyes while failing to hold back a smile, full of adoration for you. “I thought about this when I realized I wanted to be more than just friends with you,” you stopped walking to completely face him, holding both of his hands. “Behind you at this exact moment there’s a stellar observatory,” you stopped him from turning around wanting to finish your speech first. “Apparently fate had worked through this, since today they don’t normally open to everyone. Only for reservations or something like that.”
You finally let Jake turn around and take a proper look at the place. You watched as his eyes began to shine even brighter, it looked like he was about to cry. You also noticed how his hand tightened around yours, as if he was nonverbally thanking you.
Jake was genuinely flabbergasted. How the fuck did he managed to find someone that amazing?
“I’m not gonna ask how you managed to get a reservation here,” he joked.
You raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean by that?” He just laughed it off. “Well, I kinda didn’t,” you suddenly felt small, even tried to restrain your hand from his but he refused to let you go.
You ran away from his intense gazing, not wanting to see the disappointment on it as you kept talking “We’re not going into the observatory. We’re gonna use the telescopes they have open for use down here,” you explained. “Since today it’s a reservation only or whatever day, we get to use it freely. It’s definitely not the same thing, but I’m sure it can be cool.” you forced a smile still afraid to look at Jake’s direction. “I tried to book it for us I swear I did, but it was too expensive,” you uttered apologetically and again you were rambling due to your nervousness.
Jake not saying a thing helped nothing either. Little did you know he was as speechless as amazed with your witty self for figuring out a way of making that night special in such a short amount of time. He knew how hard it is to come up with ideas like that and to make it work. And you did it. Flawlessly.
He was so falling in love with you.
“...I’m so sorry if I raised your expectations too high. I wanted to do something nice since you’re always doing nice things to me, you deserve bett–”
Jake once more interrupted your nonsense speech by pressing his lips on yours and you instantly melted in his arms, your hands moving up to find comfort on his shoulders as his own went down your back until they rested on your waist, squeezing lightly.
You moved your head to the side wishing to deepen the kiss, the whole fantasy of waiting for the special moment to finally kiss him was already blown apart as both of your bodies searched for the other’s.
Your heart was beating fast and all your senses were heightened and sensitive, as if Jake had awakened a new sensation in you. A genuine sense of desperation for closeness. You needed more. Like reading your mind, Jake’s tongue touched your bottom lip at the same time your fingers scratched the back of his head, getting lost through his soft strands as you pulled him closer.
Jake touched you with care, he was kissing you so tenderly yet you could still feel his hunger for you. You weren’t different either. One of his hands came up to hold your face to help with the movement of your heads. You quickly found a pace, like two puzzle pieces being a perfect fit.
Neither of you wanted to part away, feeling too addicted to the contact. So whenever one broke down to breathe the other would reach over and start again, until your lips were a little bit sore. You pulled away unwilling, leaving little pecks on his plump lips as he did the same on yours.
Jake was unable to hold back his smile and didn’t even tried to, too happy about finally kissing you. “We have a little problem, baby,” he whispered as his dazzling eyes wandered all over your features. You looked even more stunning under the moonlight. “What?” You quietly asked back. “I don’t think I can or want to stop kissing you.”
You giggled, feeling shy under his intense but gentle gaze. He was adoring you and you could feel every piece of it.
“You don’t have to stop.”
And just like that you kissed again. And again. And again.
You felt like a drug to Jake, so addictive, so intense, so you. He had the impression that all his problems would be solved instantly if you just kissed him. He decided that from now on at the end of a stressful day, he would search for your touch and your touch only.
“But I kinda want you to stop for a bit, so we can go see the stars,” Jake chuckled when you broke the kiss to say.
“You love stars, don’t you, pretty girl?” He gave you a final cute little smooch while hugging you tightly.
“Yeah.”
And even though you had observed dozens of stars that night, none of them shone brighter than your eyes together.
You were dating.
Actually there was no big difference from what you and Jake acted before, other than the fact that everyday that he went to pick you up to the university, you got to kiss him, which made you two develop the routine of waking a bit early just to get enough moments together.
Also you started to feel comfortable to call him cute names, your favorite being pretty boy, very effectively when you wanted to fluster Jake and see him giggling.
The dynamic was similar, but way better.
When you told your friends about the night, they literally screamed. Of course you kept as a secret how romantic it was to lay down under the moon and starlight with Jake as you cuddled and shared kisses. But everything about Jake sounded dreamy.
He was so cute and you were not so slowly falling in love. He would leave you at your classes everyday and kiss you good luck. Due to his recent research project his time was getting tighter, nevertheless he would squeeze his whole schedule just to see you for a minute or two. And of course, to steal a kiss from you.
Most of your lunch time was with him, either when you had time to grab some food and eat in peace or when some of you two were in a hurry. On days like that, you normally would find him in the library, leaving him some snacks, water and a sweet kiss. He would do something similar to you.
Gradually your relationship was growing stronger, however you still hadn’t done anything on the bed yet other than kiss and sleep together. You weren’t complaining! You loved to kiss Jake and to feel his warm body embracing yours.
He was very respectful towards you and you really appreciated that. He would initiate the kisses sessions most of the time, but rarely deepen it waiting for you to do it. His hands would never go further down your hips, even when you tried to force him to do it by putting it on your ass he relocated them back up.
But you were a woman after all. A woman with desires and needs. Strong desires and needs.
Even though you had a long-term relationship, it was only after the breakup that you discovered that your ex didn't give you any pleasure – or gave you anything at all. Your previous relationship was a mess, to be honest. Talking to people and listening to their experiences made you realize how shitty you were being treated back then – in every aspect!
You knew how to please yourself and most of the time was enough. However, it’s been a while since you last had sex and you could live without it normally, but there was Jake, all over you.
His smell, his pretty face, his touches, his lips, his fucking nose and his slender fingers… The way his veiny hands would hold the steering wheel drove you insane. You needed him.
It was a cold Saturday and you were watching him play your video game. Yeah, apparently Jake liked your video game more than you – this was you being dramatic every single time he stopped to pay all of his attention to you and decided to play something, but as soon as he starts to celebrate for defeating a boss, you just smile and forget about the drama.
Today was a bit different though. Normally you would pay attention to either the screen or to his pretty face and reactions, loving how expressive he was, always thinking Jake was a sculpture or something. But on this very specific day you paid more attention to his hand movements.
The way his grip was strong on the controller and how his fingers moved on it was making you mad. He was biting his lip more than usual as well in order to concentrate and, God, you could feel your panties get wet just by watching him like that.
Part of you felt like a perverted.
At some point he groaned. Apparently something bad happened to him on the game, but you didn’t gave a fuck. The sound he left woken a strong feeling inside you.
“Why is this so difficult?” Jake asked frustrated, throwing the controller away on the couch in defeat and looking at you.
He wasn't expecting to meet your intense gaze on him, eyes darkened as your tongue traveled through your lips to wet it.
His confused puppy eyes and parted lips were your last straw.
You straddled over his lap, hungrily kissing him. You almost instantly sucked his bottom lip, looking for a more intense contact. You could feel he was a bit confused, hesitantly resting his big hands on your hips, not knowing what to do.
When you bite his lip you heard a whimper and that alone made you grunt against Jake’s mouth in response, pulling him even closer. You pulled a few strands of his hair and again he let out a sound for you, feeling him getting hard beneath your body.
Before you could continue doing your job, he said in an urge, his breath heavy. “I gotta go.”
You shook off your head whispering “No,” and pulled him again to keep making out with him, lewd kissing sounds filling the room, a total mess happening in your living room.
The feeling of his hardened bulge hitting directly on your covered wet cunt was making you rub yourself against it, hoping to get more friction. At this exact moment Jake forced you to move away from him, gripping your hips to stop your movements.
“I really gotta go, I have some uni stuff to do,” he was breathless. You noticed how his eyes were different from ever, face red and skin hot. You blinked a few times as you just watched him put you back on the couch and stand up, trying to cover his obvious boner with his oversized jacket. He gave you a little kiss on the cheek and said goodbye to you before rushing out of your apartment.
You had to satisfy yourself alone that night. And after that, you cried.
You started to question yourself.
Yeah, Jake looked at you like you were the only one in his life. But was it enough? Does he find you attractive? Or better: does he find you desirable? Sexy? Hot? Sensual?
Since that day Jake started to run away from your more passionate touches like he was running from death.
At first you thought he could be a virgin, and no problem with that. You would let him feel comfortable enough with you to try to do something more, however you knew he had other relationships and weren’t inexperienced either.
Actually you even went to Sunghoon and Heeseung to ask them about it, to which they answered that Jake may be “boyfriend material” and only have intimate moments with people he somehow trusts, but he definitely wasn't inexperienced in that field.
So doubting yourself was your only option. You could also ask directly why he never did more than just kisses with you, but that option needed more courage from you than you had.
“What’s with the frown, baby?” Yunjin asked you one day as you both decided to lunch together. You were giving excuses to Jake during the whole day in order not to talk to him, saying you were too busy and that maybe today you wouldn’t be able to meet him.
You sighed, playing with the food on your plate. “I don’t think Jake likes me.”
“What? There’s no way. He almost licks the floor you walk on. What did he do?” She was ready to throw hands.
“The real problem it’s the opposite. He don’t do it.”
“Do what, baby?”
“We’ve been dating for weeks and we haven't had sex yet. I’m almost crawling on my bedroom walls.”
“Wow,” Yunjin was shocked, eyes widened. For the way you two acted together, she thought that every single room of your house was blessed already. “Well, have you asked him why? Because that’s pretty much a ‘he’ problem as it seems.”
“I’m afraid,” you stated sincerely.
“Of what, baby?”
“Of him saying something I don’t wanna hear. I don’t wanna lose him, Jinnie,” you uttered with sorrow.
“Y/N, my pretty baby, remember we are talking about Jake. The man who woke up in the middle of the night and went to your house to kill a cockroach because you called him. The man who has a photo of you in his wallet. The man who had literally skipped classes just to spend some time with you because apparently he can’t live without you,” you started sobbing. “He likes you very much, Y/N. And he has shown to be someone who listens to you with adoration. Anything you say or ask him he would do his best to listen and talk about it, you yourself said that to me once when we were ranking green flags, remember?” You nodded.
It was the truth. He was Jake. The man who demonstrates so much affection in every action.
“I’ll talk to him. Thank you, Jinnie.”
“You don’t need to thank me, sweetie.” She kissed the top of your head. “You know I’m always here for you and just want you to be happy. You deserve it.”
You decided to talk to Jake on the next day. You weren't planning to “arrange a sex meeting with him” or anything similar, but to talk about it. So you invited him over that day, knowing he would be completely free because it was a Friday. You did a test early that day and were free as well.
Since he was going to your apartment quite often you gave him a key to make things easier for both of you, so when you heard the front door opening as you drank some water your heart started to beat fast in advance.
His scent followed all the way through your house directly to you. You felt his arms hugging you from behind and for a few seconds you let yourself get lost in his warmth. “Hey, gorgeous. How are you?” He whispered close to your ear, kissing your neck. You turned around to face him. “You look sad. What happened? Are you ok?” He flooded you with questions as his eyes worriedly wandered over your face. You just pecked him quickly before taking his hand on yours and leading him to the couch.
Jake felt his heart sinking.
He maybe was going crazy, but he felt that you had purposely ignored him the day before, constantly finding a rather lame excuse for every solution he gave. He preferred to believe that you were not having a good day and respected your decision. But when you invited him over, it became undeniable how anxious he was feeling.
And the way you welcomed him at that moment made him even more worried, especially when you said the cursed phrase.
“I wanna talk to you about something.”
He swallowed, trying to keep it cool by saying gently “What is it, sugar?” as he reached for your hands to mildly squeeze it in reassurance.
Even though Jake was quite tense, he would always prioritize you and the fact that you had some difficulty verbalizing what normally was bothering you, so he knew it was consuming you just as much.
“I– Actually I don’t even know how to say it,” you started shyly with a low voice, avoiding Jake’s gaze. “But I’m…”
“Y’know you can say anything to me, right?” Jake tried to encourage you as he gently pulled you closer and just like that you moved to sit on his lap, each of your knees on either side of his legs as you trapped him underneath you.
Without saying a thing, you hugged him to hide your face on his neck. Jake wasn’t fully aware of what was happening, but he wanted to give you some comfort so his hands caressed your back slowly.
After a while you muffled his skin with your breath while asking “Do you think I’m unattractive?”
Oh?
Jake had a delayed reaction to your question. “Baby, what?”
You drew apart from him enough to see his confused expression before looking away. “I don’t know if you aren’t sexually attracted to me or what, but you can always tell me y’know. I’m sure we can figure something out,” your voice was almost a whisper due your worried self about confrontations.
“Baby, I’m so confused right now. What are you talking about?”
“I– I’d prefer you saying to my face you don’t wanna have sex with me instead of pulling me away from you every time we go further with our kisses,” as you finished saying, you felt your cheeks burning.
Jake frowned, completely baffled.
Little did you know that Jake lost track of how many times he woke up with a painful boner after dreaming of you. Or how fast he would run away from you after a makeout session with you because of his body response to it.
He would first try to cool down with a shower, but everytime he ended up jerking himself off to get some relief, you being the only one in his mind, always moaning your name when cumming.
But, God, every single time he felt nasty, disgusted with himself. You deserved better. You're like a divinity to him, a beautiful and sweet woman, you needed to be handled with care and love and he was so afraid of hurting you.
The day you told him about your ex and how badly he treated you, especially in the sexual field by not caring about anything but his own pleasure, Jake got mad. Really mad.
How could one in their right mind leave you hanging, when your expressions of pleasure alone were enough to drive any man crazy? He could treat you way better.
Sometimes Jake would get carried away while kissing you, going down to your neck to trail his lips over there biting and sucking slightly. And when he backed a bit to look at your face, he always met you with closed eyes nibbling your bottom lip, a ridiculously lustful view.
Too hard to handle.
He had to almost physically hold himself back every time. He was afraid of scaring you with how much he needed you, with how much he wanted to get lost between your legs, making you scream nothing but his name, with how much he was willing to make you feel good.
And now he got to know that his actions were the ones making you doubt yourself, making you doubt his feelings and needs for you… He was feeling so dumb.
“I– I’m sorry, Y/N.”
You froze. No nicknames, just your regular name.
“I never wanted to make you feel like this. I’m really sorry.”
You gulped the guilty feeling down your throat. “It’s okay, Jakey, I get it,” you smiled awkwardly, not knowing what to do next. That meant that Jake didn't want you in that way, right?
You were about to start rambling as usual and before you did so, Jake shut you up with his mouth on yours. You startled before reacting, moving your tongue with his and dipping your fingers into his silky strands, both of your bodies starting to get hotter.
Jake squeezed your ass while pulling you closer. “I want you, Y/N,” he was serious when you drew apart to catch your breath. “I want you so bad, my darling,” he was so desperate, your panties dampening just by how his voice sounded.
“Yeah?” You smirked, breathing heavy. “How bad, Jakey?” You noticed his eyes darkening. “Show me.”
Getting back to work with his mouth in yours, kissing you very messily, Jake impulsed to stand up with you in his arms. You surrounded your legs around him to keep yourself steady as he stumbled a little on the way to your room. You giggled against his lips when he dropped you softly on the mattress and hovered over you, not breaking the kiss for a second.
Jake’s mouth tasted so sweet and hot on yours, you couldn't help but scratch his back and neck with your fingernails thinking how good he would be doing all that job down your cunt. His dick was getting harder and you could feel it, your mouth watering at the thought of sucking him off. You wanted so bad.
He parted away from your lips just to trail his own plump ones to your neck and collarbone, kissing, sucking and nibbling all the area before finally whispering against your skin, sending chills throughout your body.
“I really wanna eat you out,” Jake sounded determined. “I wanna taste you before anything, sweetheart,” your only reaction was a sigh mixed with a “please” that you were unsure if he heard.
But Jake was catching all of your sounds, from the quietest little whimpers to the slightly more intense ones, like the one you released when he removed your shirt and bra to work on your tits, his mouth sucking your left one while his hand cupped the other before he switched to do the opposite.
Before he continued to get down on you, you quietly asked him to remove his shirt and as he did, he revealed to you part of his perfect body. By the superficial touches over his clothes and of course the preview bumps, you knew he had a toned chest, but to see it all on display to you… You literally moaned at the view.
You promised yourself that later on you would give every bit of that skin the attention it deserved.
You watched him smile shyly before kissing your inner thigh, without breaking eye contact. Jake was absolutely certain he would cum in his pants at any given moment. The mix of your little sounds with the way you were looking at him like you were about to eat him alive triggered a strangely pleasant feeling.
“Can I remove these?” He asked between kisses on your skin, pointing to your shorts. You nodded. “And these?” He pointed now to your panties and you nodded again, head resting on your pillow. “Yes, please. I want you.”
Jake noticed how wet you were through your last clothing piece and he literally had to hold himself back to not just dive right into you. He was getting dizzy by your smell, eyes hooded as he removed the only thing that stopped him from touching you like you deserved.
Jake salivated admiring your pussy, breathing heavily as he swallowed nothing.
At this point you were on the verge of crying due to your desperation and his unnecessary slowness, so you spread your legs even more and pleaded. “Please Jakey, I really want you,” you whined, grabbing his hair with your hand and forcing it down your cunt. “I don’t want you to hold yourself on me, pretty boy.”
And as if you casted a spell, Jake looked at you one more time before burying his face in you.
You gasped.
He felt you dripping on his mouth and grunted, collecting some arousal with his tongue to spread all over your area before flicking it on your clit, sometimes sucking just the right amount and sometimes doing big licks. His tongue worked so damn well, you just rolled your hips in order to get more. You were so sensitive and so needy. His grip on each side of your body got stronger as he pulled you closer.
You moaned Jake’s name when he decided to use one of his fingers together with his mouth, pressing it on your entrance with care, just to familiarize you with the sensation before adding one more. After all, he just wanted you to feel good and not to be hurt.
You kept rubbing yourself on his face and now grinding on the two fingers inside you. Jake was doing such an amazing job on you, curling his fingers the moment he needed to like he knew you from inside out, using the tip of his nose to rub your clit as his tongue and mouth worked in the rest.
“You’re doing such a good job, pretty boy,” you praised between moans and heard Jake groaning between your legs and intensifying his movements, eating you out as his life depended on it.
“I wanna you to cum all over my face, princess,” he said, muffled. His skilful fingers moved at a steady pace. “I need that, give it to me, babe, please.”
Your orgasm was already building up inside your core. You felt the familiar sensation growing bigger and bigger until you let it out the loudest moan of the night as your back arched. Jake’s words and all the combo of his warm mouth and fingers inside you were enough to make you achieve your climax, trembling beneath his touches, grabbing his hair tightly.
Jake drank you like it was his favorite drink, licking every single drop of you with pleasure, his dick now painfully compressed in his boxers. He could get himself off just by eating you out.
He drove you through your high, movements slowing as he felt your grasp on his hair softening and your body less shaky. He kissed your pussy a few times and then crawled over you to kiss you on the lips. You watched your juices decorating his chin, nose and a bit on his cheeks before you felt your own taste in your mouth.
Jake's hard, covered bulge rubbed against your bare cunt and you whined, breaking the kiss to down your hands all the way to his cock and to utter “Babe, you’re so hard.” Jake whimpered against your mouth and you flipped over to be on top of him. “Let me help you with that.”
And as you promised yourself, you trailed kisses all the way down his chest, putting your mouth and tongue to work through his soft skin, making him squirm a bit underneath you.
You stopped once you got to the waistband of his pants, taking it off with Jake’s help and removing his boxers as well. You sighed, mouth salivating at the view of his veiny dick right in front of you.
However, you needed to feel him inside you, so you let your other desires for later, starting to move in a way you could sit on him.
“I wanna ride you,” you announced as if it was your only goal in life. “Like, really bad.”
“Fuck, babe,” Jake groaned, watching you positioned yourself comfortably on top of him, quickly moving his hands to hold your hips. “Go on. Use me,” he threw his head back to just enjoy the sensation of finally feeling your walls around him, before realizing something was off. “But wait– Sugar,” he said with widened eyes, sitting up to hold you before you did anything. “You’re going in raw?” Jake questioned in disbelief.
You blinked at him, confused. “You’re clean, right?”
“Yeah, but–”
“So am I. And on birth control, don’t worry.”
Since you were still wet due your orgasm and because Jake’s little sounds aroused you enough, you pushed him back to bed, giving him a little peck before holding his dick and placing it on your sensitive area.
Jake knew he wasn't getting out of there alive. There was no way. How would he survive you? God, you were insane. And the way you slowly slid down on his length, using its precum to lubricate, sent him out of orbit in an instant.
He did nothing but open his mouth and moan, eyes rolling back to his head with the amazing feeling of your pussy coating him so tight and warm. He could feel you everywhere. He almost cummed just because of that alone, having to close his eyes tightly in order to concentrate enough to not let it happen.
“Oh, fuck,” Jake bit his bottom lip the moment you moved a bit, adjusting yourself. “You feel so fucking good already, fuck.”
You watched every reaction of his, enjoying it as a show. The frowned face in pure pleasure, the red wet lips, face all flustered and glowing, not to mention the dim light of your room working to make the view even more gorgeous and pleasant.
Jake felt you staring and how you stayed still for a while, finding support on his chest with your hands. He opened his eyes to glance at you. You gave him a little smile and he reciprocated, caressing the skin of your body under his touch as he waited for you to feel comfortable enough to move by yourself. Jake watched as you started to move back and forth slowly on his cock, your eyes closing with how good he was filling you up.
Although Jake's hands rested on your hips, he didn't force a single movement, letting you find your pace. He admired you for a moment, “you look so, so pretty right now, baby,” he praised sincerely, watching the way your expressions changed to pure pleasure as you moved faster.
You leaned forward to find his mouth with yours, kissing him, missing those pretty lips of his on yours. Your moans got lost between your mouths as you continued to move faster until you found the pace of your liking, Jake now helping you to keep it going.
Lewd sounds of your bodies shocking against each other filled the room, mixed with whimpers as well as the wet kissing sounds.
Jake reached down with one of his hands to rub your clit, and by the way his cock twitched inside of you, you deduced that he was close to cum and didn't want to do it alone.
You drew apart from the kiss to rest your head on the curve of his neck, sucking the skin as well as whimpering against it. The position leaded Jake to have his mouth directly on your ear, and with all the stimulus happening at the same time, his dick hitting your g-spot, his finger rubbing your sensitive nerve and his voice moaning your name in your ear, you started to clench furiously on Jake’s length.
“Wait–”, you barely heard him saying, too lost in your pleasure already. “Where do I c–”
“Inside,” you answered quickly before he tried to pull off.
“Fuck.” Jake’s head was spinning, he was seeing stars. “Be my girlfriend,” he let it out in one breath.
“What?” You asked back under your breath, questioning if you were hearing things due pleasure.
“Let me be your boyfriend,” he said panting. “Officially. Be my girl, please. Be mine,” he begged with a groan, cumming inside of you.
You openly moaned his name, rolling your eyes back as your orgasm also hit you. You thought that alone could answer his question, keeping on the movement to ride you two through your highs, his strong hands gripping you tightly and your whole body shaking.
You stood over Jake's body for a while after you stopped your movements, catching your breath and feeling his liquid leaking from inside of you.
He helped you to lay back on the bed, both still panting, both so happy about what just happened. You forced yourself to stand up just enough to kiss him before you said, looking deep into his eyes.
“I’m already yours, pretty boy.”
That weekend was intense. Still, you just couldn't get enough of Jake. And he wasn't too different.
Now your routine had changed a little more. He was still the sweet and kind Jake, worrying about you, asking about your day, listening to you rambling about random things, and always bringing you food on your busiest days. But it seemed like you had awakened a monster inside him.
Of course you didn't complain, especially because the one who was getting the benefits was you, who wasn't that different either, never getting enough of him.
Whenever Jake was stressed, he would usually take you somewhere to watch the sunset or to stargazing while talking about life and theories and obviously, kissing you.
Now he started eating you out. Almost every time. And sometimes he would mix these two, taking you somewhere beautiful and eating you out inside his car.
Jake had eaten you out in every room of your apartment, saying that him eating you out got him off more anything else, and you actually witnessed him cum untouched a few times, looking so fucking hot while doing it.
Nevertheless you still couldn't had the chance to give him a proper head. Jake would be saying you didn't have to do it, like you felt obligated. Little did he know that you wanted to feel his dick filling up your mouth and his cum going directly down your throat. Oh, you wanted so badly.
At this exact moment, you were sitting on your kitchen counter with your legs spreaded being supported on Jake’s shoulders as was getting lost between them, diving in your juices, making you cum with his tongue deep inside you. You reached for his hair with your hands, grabbing to bring him up and kiss him fervorous.
“Take me to the bedroom,” you demanded with an urge.
And how would Jake deny such a sweet request?
The moment you got into your bedroom, you tossed him on the bed. You were hungry for him, and him only.
You saw his already hardened cock marking his sweatpants and without giving Jake time to complain, you removed all his clothing pieces – he was already shirtless – and had him naked underneath you.
As usual, he thought you would ride him. Out of all the positions you’ve tried so far, this was a favorite of his – to look at you while you use him for your own pleasure felt too insanely good, so he got excited in advance. But you decided to surprise him this time, contradicting his expectations as you bend over to be at the same height of his pulsing cock, head pretty close to it.
He panicked.
“What are you doing, sweetheart?” He asked and tried to sit, but as soon as he did you pushed him back to the bed.
“Imma suck you off,” you said like it was obvious. You wrapped your hand around his length and started to pump it.
“Y–you don’t have to, princess,” he stuttered, feeling hot under your soft touches. “Let me fuck you, mhm? You deserve to feel good.” He tried to sit again and you pushed him back one more time.
“Sucking you off will make me feel good too, Jakey,” you blew a bit of air on his shaft, he shivered. “Don’t you get that?” Your hands worked slowly on his dick, moving up and down, smearing the precum out of his slit with your thumb. He bit his lip to hold back a whimper. “Or do you think you're the only one who gets horny by giving pleasure to others?”
You ran your tongue all over his shaft, closing your eyes as you felt the salty precum taste spreading through your mouth, playing a bit with his tip.
Jake kept hiding his sounds from you.
His hands were squeezing the duvet under his body to the point his knuckles started to get white when you gave a little more attention to his head, realizing that this was his sensitive area. You took advantage of that.
Without a warning, you put his whole cock in your mouth in one go, feeling it hitting on your throat.
“Mhm,” he tried to contain his grunt, hips thrusting forward slightly and his left hand smacking the bed one time before grabbing the sheets again.
You held your position for a few seconds, making sure to breathe through your nose, before moving back and forth twice. Jake squirmed under you, still quiet.
“Why are you hiding from me, pretty boy?” You asked with a low voice when you backed off to breathe, hands replacing your mouth as you did so. Jake finally let it out a little whimper and you smiled. “I wanna hear you, baby.”
“I’m sorry,” he said apologetically, once more biting his lip in order to contain himself.
The reason behind his choice of behavior under your touches was literally due his fear of scaring you off. He would be a total mess if he let it all go as he really felt. Your hot mouth around his dick sent him to hell and heaven all at once, you didn’t had to do much for him to start seeing foggy and being a whimper mess.
Jake felt your lips coating him again and groaned, back slightly arching.
“So gorgeous, Jakey,” you backed off only to encourage with a smile, jerking him off before going back to suck him. He couldn’t hold back his loud moan, eyes rolling when you sucked his sensitive tip. You quivered. You wanted more of him. “Keep on making these pretty noises for me, yeah?”
Although he was afraid of scaring you off, one thing he loved to do was to obey you, to fulfill all of your requests. Whatever you told him to do, he would do it. So when you told him to be vocal, he started to be vocal.
Your mouth swallowed all his throbbing cock, his tip going deep in your throat, precum going down on it. Jake threw his head back, open mouthed, spilling all the little noises you loved. “Fuck, mhm, that’s it, babe,” he breathed out between groans and put one of his hands on your head without forcing you down or anything, just resting there.
The way your throat was pressing his sensitive tip as you swallowed around it, God, he was getting stupidly close. Jake dared to look down at you, meeting your strong gaze as you devoured him like a last piece of meal. “Fuck, you’re doing so good,” he gasped, rolling his eyes. Jake felt a familiar burning wave all the way through his body. “Fuck, I’mgonnacum”.
You kept your movements steady, lightly scratching his thighs before you felt Jake’s body start to shake, his moans intensify and his cum hitting down your throat. You swallowed every drop of it before letting his dick with a pop and using your thumb to clean up the corners of your lips as you crawled back to kiss him passionately.
At this point you were already horny again, so as you kissed him, feeling his shaky hands all over your body, you pressed your bare cunt on his softened shaft and moved a bit. He parted the kiss, trying to push you away.
“I– I don’t think–”, he tried saying. “I’m sensitive, baby– Ahh...”
“Yeah?” You rubbed your bare cunt on his dick with a sly smile. “So you don’t want me to ride you, Jakey?” You kept waving your body on him, forcing a disappointed face with a fake pout.
Jake trembled, feeling his eyes water in a painful pleasure. “Of c–course I– I do, fuck.”, his voice cracked, eyelids closing. He was fully unable to stop you at this point, and he didn’t wanted to anyway, so he just started to sob as you kept sliding on him, back and forth, slowly, painfully slowly.
You were sending him into overstimulation, loving his reactions, loving how desperate he looked. Legs squirming beneath you, eyes tearing up, hands messily trying to figure out what to do, facial expression switching in a mix of pain and delight.
“Please…” He begged. He didn’t even knew for what. Neither did you, so you asked. “Please what, Jakey?” You stopped moving. “You want me to stop?”
He hurried to answer “No! Please, don’t– Don’t stop.” Definitely his begging wasn't about stopping. His breath was short as you started to move again, still slow. Too slow. “Go faster, please darling.”
And how could you deny such a sweet request?
The wet sound of your pussy rubbing against his cock was too lewd. You leaned to kiss Jake, who wasn’t able to kiss you back properly due his undergoing situation. His was dick hardening again against your folds and that was your last straw.
Yeah, he was desperate because of overstimulation, but you were desperate to feel him inside you. So you repositioned yourself to slide him deep on you in one go, making both of you scream.
You threw your head back and instantly started to grind on him, making circle movements, sending both of you to cloud nine.
“Babe I– I’ll not last long– damn.” Jake said breathlessly, hands helping your hips to move.
“Make me cum with you, please,” you begged and of course he would never leave you hanging, so he did his work, rubbing your clit at the same pace as you bounced on him.
You felt your climax building up rapidly, breath getting heavier and heavier, body shaking as you heard Jake saying under breath "I'm cumming", while throwing his head back and filling you up with his warm liquid. You shivered, moaning louder and achieving your peak right after.
Your body fell over Jake’s, who immediately hugged you, panting, all sweaty. “This was…” He started to say after a while, still inside you.
“Good?” He analyzed your expectant eyes when you got up to look at him and chuckled at the difference of the demon eyes you were giving him earlier. “Incredible,” he kissed your forehead. “You are always incredible, my love.”
It was a weirdly sunny day when Jake seated you on his car hood, fitting himself between your legs while his hands rested on your hips, drawing little circles there.
You both decided to go out that day to celebrate your new job. But instead of going for a fancy dinner or anything similar, you decided to follow the roots of your relationship and asked Jake to take you to see the sunset.
And he would never deny anything to you. So here you were, looking at the pretty sky behind Jake’s back when he himself was sunk on your neck.
"Why does the sky turn orange during sunsets?" You asked nonchalantly, feeling Jake's kisses on your skin. He was inebriated by your scent and acting as if he was getting drunk on you.
He loved that.
He loved you.
"It has something to do with the light traveling through the atmosphere. Don't make me do my homework right now, baby," he said muffled, unable to leave your warm embrace. You chuckled.
You loved that.
You loved him.
"Sorry," your fingers slid through his hair, scratching slightly. He hummed in response.
It’s been two weeks since you started to call him your boyfriend and he started to call you girlfriend, the honeyed voice always making you melt.
Nevertheless none of you said I love you yet. Not that you two needed to. You felt Jake’s love on every action of his. The way he would look at you so dreamily at any point of the day, how he would embrace you so tightly at the end of a stressful one. Or how he would always clean you up after the sex, even when he was tired as hell. He treated you like a goddess. You felt it.
It was as clear as crystal water that you loved him too, at least you thought.
You would purposely ask questions about astronomy just to have him speaking animatedly in technical terms that you often didn't understand very well, but loved to see him sparkle in joy. Or when you cooked his favorite meal just to see his puppy eyes widening in surprise and thank you with a sweet kiss. Or even when you watched him play video games for hours without complaining, actually enjoying and hyping him up, sometimes playing together when he asked you to.
Jake, actually, noticed every bit of it.
He himself making sure to love you every moment of his day, making sure you were safe, fed, warm, and most important: happy.
Jake loved your smile. He loved to see you ramble about your favorite songs and flowers and chocolates and movies and everything.
He loved everything about you.
You exhaled. The feeling was consuming you, you had to let it out. The ache of holding it to only your actions wasn't enough. You needed to say it.
And you did. In one go.
“I love you.”
Jake lifted his face off your neck to look you in the eyes, kind of shocked by your sudden statement. “I don’t care if you don’t love me back, but I love you. More than stargazing, more than feeling a cold breeze under the moonlight, more than listening to my favorite artist. None of those feelings overcomes the feeling of having you around,” you caressed his cheek. Jake listened to you with attention.
“You color my world by just being around. Every part I go I look out for you,” you could see Jake’s eyes watering. “And I do find you in everything, because, Jake, you became my everything. It’s scary how much I need you. It's scary how much I can love you,” you rested your forehead on his, closing your eyes. “So yeah, I love you,” you whispered at the end.
Jake's breath got heavy as he assimilated all your words.
God, he loved you as much as you did. Lately he had to deal with the urge of telling you the three words, afraid of scaring you off as always. But now he knows you are as much in love with him as he is with you, and he felt so damn lucky.
"You wanna know something that has nothing to do with physics?" Jake spoke softly after a while in silence trying to find the right words. You weren't expecting that question after your confession. "What?" you asked in a whisper.
He looked so gorgeous under the golden light.
"I can watch a hundred sunsets with you," he said softly, loving eyes at you. He gently put a strand of hair behind your ear, as usual, and continued, "And you’d still be the prettiest view."
Jake didn’t had to verbalize “I love you” after that, but he did.
He did it continuously. He did it before you went to sleep and when you woke up. He did it before leaving you at your classes and as soon as he picked you up. He did it out of the blue, while you were vacuuming your apartment and he was dusting the furniture. Because no matter how much he said, it didn't seem enough.
It was love at first sight, blessed by the moonlight keeping their love secrets and under the sunset light, keeping their sweet passion burning.
#jake smut#jake sim x reader#jake x reader#jake sim hard hours#jake sim hard thoughts#jake imagines#jake hard thoughts#jake hard hours#enhypen x reader#sim jake#enha smut#enhypen smut#heegyukeluv works
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resisted the urge all these past weeks to install a phone game because I get very very obsessive with them and I thought they would fuck with the bout of productivity I've been having. but the period where it was dangerous for me to get sucked in has passed so maybe it's time ...
#but also I don't know what I want to play#considering maybe I can download a nintendo emulator once again and play another loz game#or ac new leaf but the last time I would spend 2-3 hours a day playing that so perhaps a terrible idea#or a regular phone game but I don't know which#if u have recs let me hear them#also last time I was mentioning this to a friend the desire of playing something and#she immediately said yeah but you know how you get with those. I DO#txt.me
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sjaking and sobbing i need to start playing roblox again
#txt#bee swarm sim is the only game i play on it but i hardly EVER go on roblox 😭#i only downloaded it again to accept her friend request#SHE ASKED ME FOR MY USER SURELY SHE WANTS TO PLAY?#that would be awesome. bee swarm simulator
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You Look Tense |Masseuse!Eddie x f!reader
Cw: reader uses where/her pronouns, seduction, perv!reader, perv!eddie, dirty talk, fingering, p in v, unprotected, pull out, pet names (sweetheart, good girl) modern!eddie
wc: 2.9k
You were on a fold-out massage table in the middle of your living room. You downloaded the app to have a masseuse come to you on a whim. Your friend swore by it. You were a bit apprehensive about letting some stranger come into your home and rub you down while you were naked, but she said it was legit.
When you heard the knock on your front door, you didn’t think you would open it up to one of the hottest men you had ever seen. Leaving you staring at him with wide eyes and your jaw agape.
“You order a massage?” He smirks.
“Yea, sorry, um, come in.” You observe his dark blue scrubs as they hug his upper body.
You lead him inside to show him where to set up.
“First time?”
“What?”
“Is this your first time using the app?” he smiles. Taking off his coat, you notice his tattoos and muscular forearms.
“Oh, I’m… yeah.” You stammered because you were so distracted.
“I could tell, don’t worry. Things are strictly professional.” He explained.
Professionalism was not what you were worried about at this point. Quite the opposite, really.
After Eddie set up his things, he instructed you to lay face down, and then he left the room so you could strip and get under the white cotton sheet.
You called out that you were ready and heard his light footsteps entering the room.
“Anything specific you want me to focus on?”
“Um, my lower back and shoulders have been really hurting,” you mumble into the head pillow.
“Ok, great, let’s get started.”
-
His hands were like magic, the way he wasn’t too rough or too light. He worked your soar muscles perfectly.
“What’s got you so tense, sweetheart? Let me help you relax,” He spoke.
Relax?! How could you be relaxed with this extremely attractive man who is rubbing his hands all over your naked body in your own home!
And the voice! Oh god, his voice is so hot, you don’t want him to stop talking. It didn’t help that you were wound up in more ways than one.
“Um, uh…. Work, I guess.” You didn’t need to guess; you were drowning in the stress of your responsibilities.
“Well, don’t worry, I’m here to help with that,” he hummed as you heard the squirt of more oil fall into his large palms.
“Oh, yeah, your shoulders are so tense; that's a big knot.” You felt him shuffle, so he stood at your head. If you lifted your head up any further, you’d be face to face with his crotch.
You were trying too hard not to let out a moan as his strong fingers dug into your aching back.
“You gotta relax for me. Is the pressure too much?”
“No-no, you’re perfect- I mean, it’s perfect…”
Eddie let out a chuckle as he continued.
This was so good, too good, but he was right...You needed to relax. You tried not to focus on who was above you but on the feeling that he was giving you.
A few minutes later, you were successfully relaxing into the table.
“That’s it, very good,” he praised, and you let a moan slip out.
“Sorry,” you squeak.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. It happens all the time, and it lets me know I’m doing a good job."
Like Eddie said, he was keeping things strictly professional, but you were making it very hard, especially with that moan you let slip from your pretty lips.
Your skin was unbelievably soft, and you smelled really good. With this particular job, Eddie is used to all kinds of different clientele; he never knew what he was walking into when he got booked. So when you answered the door, he was very pleasantly surprised.
You stew in your own thoughts about how good this man’s hands feel, holding back the noises threatening to break the silence. The only sounds filling the room are Eddie’s feet shuffling, breathing, and wet, slippery skin.
“The best way to help with your shoulders is if I also rub down your neck and head. Are you okay if I get oil in your hair?” he asked again in that sexy, soothing tone.
“Yeah, that’s fine,” you sighed. Eddie smirks to himself again, knowing he is doing a good job.
“Great,” he shuffles to position himself to get the best angle. You feel as he sits beside you on the table, drapes your arm over his thigh, and uses his free hand to work at your neck.
His hand slowly works its way up, up, up until his long, thick fingers grip your hair, tugging on your scalp. His fingers dig into the perfect pressure points on your head.
You can’t help but let out another moan of pleasure; it just feels so good. You can’t stop your mind from going to an x-rated place, thinking about how good his hand feels tangled in your hair.
You couldn’t ignore your pussy any longer; there was no denying how wet you had gotten over the last half hour, and he hadn’t even made his way down to your lower back. How are you supposed to survive the rest of the time?
Your pussy was throbbing by the time Eddie made his way down to your lower back. You could feel Eddie move the sheet down lower, exposing more of your skin to him. He lightly draped it over your ass, careful not to expose it too much, trying to tuck the sheets into the band of your underwear, but to Eddie’s surprise, you weren’t wearing any.
You hear him clear his throat as he discovers that you are fully naked underneath.
“What side is, uh, bothering you?”
“Right,” you sigh. And I think I might have pulled the back of my thigh,” you suggest, hoping Eddie reads into it.
“Oh yeah, for sure,” he hums.
Eddie was in serious trouble, and the thin material of his pants did not help his situation.
Eddie had never grown hard with a client; this was not normal. He could not excuse himself until the session was over, so he hoped and prayed that his situation would defuse itself until it was time for him to leave.
It did not, you were torturing him, at this point you had to be doing this on purpose. Your moans were getting more and more sensual.
“Mmmmm, you’re so good at this,” you praise as his hands run along your lower back, creeping closer and closer to your ass muscle.
“So I’ve been told”
“Bet you’re really good with your hands in other places.”
Eddie froze. Did that really come out of your mouth, or did he hear things?
“You uh-" he cleared his throat, “-uh, said your lower back, right?”
“Yeah, but like, really low,” you hummed.
“You comfortable if I move the sheet, uh, lower?”
“Yeah,” you wiggled your hips slightly to encourage him to take things further. You cannot remember the last time you had been so turned on.
You hear Eddie’s breath hitch as you feel the fabric slip off your skin.
“Oops”
“Oh shit-”
“It’s okay; you can leave it off”
“You? Uh? Oh-okay” what was he thinking? This was not professional! It would get him fired if anyone found out… but how could they? He was in your home. You wouldn’t tell anyone? Against his better judgement, he decided to leave you exposed…
With your naked body exposed to Eddie, he continued to work on your lower back. Your oiled skin was glistening under each touch, and Eddie’s cock was growing by the second.
Eddie’s hands worked lower as he hesitantly yet excitedly explored the vast planes of your body. He hadn’t dared make a move, but you could feel his hands move closer to your inner thighs, so you partied your legs so he could have better access.
Eddie watched as your legs moved for him, your legs parted, and he had the perfect view of your glistening pussy lips.
Eddie’s eyes widened as he knew he had not even gotten close to that area of your body with the body oil.
With a deep breath, Eddie grazed his fingers closer to your upper inner thigh, right below your ass; the tops of his fingers lightly traced the outside of your lower lips to test the waters.
The last thing Eddie needed was to read your advances the wrong way and end up in jail.
“Mmmm, that’s good,” you hummed, encouraging Eddie to keep going.
“You need me to work on anything else?” Eddie asked suggestively.
“Now that I think about it, I pulled my groin the other day; I think you could really help me with that; you’re so good with your hands.”
“Sounds good, sweetheart,” Eddie hummed, shifting his weight to get the best angle. You felt him crawl up onto the table with you and straddle his legs around you.
His hands work your ass, massaging the muscles up, pulling your skin taught so he could see your swollen pussy lips.
Sucha pretty pussy
“Mmm thank you”
Shit, did Eddie say that out loud?
You let out a chaste breath as you felt his long thick fingers finally graze your wet slit.
Eddie gently massages circles onto your clit, and your hips roll into his hand.
“Mmmm, that’s it, relax f’me… this is what you needed, hmmm?”
“Uh-huh,” you sigh as your body fully relaxes into Eddie’s soft touch.
Eddie’s hand continues to work your fluttering clit before he decides to let an oiled finger slip into your hole.
“Oh, sweetheart, you are so tight, so tense. You should have told me earlier. I really need to loosen you up” he pumped his finger in and out of your pussy before curling his fingers to massage your inner walls.
“Maybe we could extend the session,” your breath hitches.
“I think that can be arranged,” he slips a second finger effortlessly.
As he continued to work your pussy he added his thumb to your clit. That familiar feeling of lust and need built up in your lower stomach as Eddie sped up his fingers.
“More,” you pleaded. You were at his mercy. You’d do anything to have him make you cum.
“I think I need to get in deeper,” he hummed.
You liked that idea; you popped up to finally see him. You watched as his pants slipped from his hips, and your mouth waters at the sight of his hard cock staring you in the face.
“Like what you see?” He smirks as he watches you checking him out while he checks you out, seeing your naked breasts for the first time.
“Yeah, like what you see?” You ask back.
“Oh yes,” he leaned in to cup your face, bringing your lips together.
Eddie’s mouth took over yours, and he ravaged you. His plush lips were so soft as his lips explored your own. His tongue slipped into your mouth as his soft hands moved up your middle to kneed your breasts.
You shuffle back so Eddie can place himself between your legs.
“Need you now,” you spoke into his mouth between kisses.
“Want you so bad” Eddie replies.
“Please,” you begged for him.
Eddie stripped the rest of his scrubs and exposed the tattoos that dawned his alabaster skin. He was covered head to toe in ink. You wanted to kiss every inch of his body, but the need to have him inside of you was more, so you widened your legs as far as they could go to expose yourself.
“Thought you said you pulled your groin” Eddie smirks
“Guess your magic hands healed me” You sank your hand between your legs so you were touching yourself, teasing Eddie as you worked your fingers in your needy clit.
“Magic hands, huh?” He replaced your hand with his.
“Mmmmhmmm,” you hum as Eddie kisses you and guides you to lie on the fold-out table.
“You think these are magic just wait and see what my cock can do.”
You gasp as Eddie slips the head of his cock across your wet lips, collecting your slick before the tip of his cock breaches your hole.
His cock was thick and long. Slowly, he stretched you out inch by inch. Sinking deeper and deeper until you enveloped him wholly.
Eddie watched as your pussy swallowed him, skin to skin, he didn’t even know you, but it didn’t matter; all that mattered was how you were making him feel and how he was making you feel.
“Oh, Eddie!” You cried as he started building up his speed, pumping into you.
“Mmmmm, I like how you scream my name.” You watch as his body pumps into you, his abs defining themselves with every thrust in. His big hands grip as best they can on your oiled skin and push your legs to your chest, folding you in half as he does.
“S’big,” you try and grab at Eddie, but he’s too far out of reach, so you ball your hands into fists and grit your teeth in frustration. You want to feel him, to touch him, to have all of him.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“Wanna kiss you” you whined.
“Shhhh, you’re okay; as long as my dick is inside of you, you’re fine.”
“Oh fuck!” He sunk deep into you, faster and faster, his hips thrust his cock deeper into your needy cunt.
“That’s it, take it like a good girl.”
God, the mouth on this man, you had no idea.
Eddie gave in and leaned over to kiss you before he unexpectedly jumped off the table and flipped you over to your hands and knees.
“The only way I’m going to get as deep as you want, baby,” you could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke.
“Just give it to me”
“Oh, asking to be fucked? Wanna be fucked by my cock, huh?”
You nod your head frantically as he aligns your hips to be at the perfect height for him to pound into you.
“Fuck look at that” he massaged your ass, spreading it apart before plunging his hard cock back into your throbbing pussy.
You let out a scream; Eddie was right; this angle was deeper, so deep you swore he was in your stomach at this point.
“That’s it, you can take it.” Eddie watched as your oiled skin bounced off his cock, and he swore he was in heaven.
Your tight pussy clenched down on him even more from the angle. The way your warm wet walls were hugging his cock, how your ass looked bouncing off his body, he could have come by now, but he wanted to hold off, savour this a little while longer.
Eddie reached round your body to massage your clit once more. His fingers were moving so meticulously while his cock was pouncing into you from behind.
“Faster” You grabbed Eddie’s wrist because his fingers were too slow; no way you would cum from them slowly circling your swollen clit.
Eddie listened to your plea and picked up the pace with his hands and his hips. Eddie was pounding into you so hard. If you were an outsider looking in, you would swear the fold-out table would have given out, but you were so cockdrunk you had no other thoughts than how Eddie was making you feel.
“You’re close, baby; I can feel the way you’re squeezing me; you’re going to cum when I say okay.”
“Can’t hold it, wanna cum, wanna cum so bad!” your upper body gives out, only making your ass arch higher for Eddie. He looks down to see the creamy ring form at the base of his cock as your orgasm threatens to take over.
“Hold on, on my count ok.”
“Mmmmmmmm” was all you managed to get out. Eddie s fingers still circling your clit, with his cock hitting your g spot. There was no way you were holding out any longer.
You wanted to cum so bad, but you also wanted to please Eddie, your friend, your hardest.
“Cum for me in…. 3….2….1, cum on my cock” he spoke between each thrust into you.
You listened and came as soon as the words left his mouth. Your body seized, and your mouth opened, but nothing came out as your silent cries were met with a wave of pleasure that washed over your whole being, soaking Eddie’s cock even more.
It could have been minutes or a few just a few thrusts later, you didn't know, but Eddie pulled out and finished, spreading his seed on your ass, which was somehow still perched in the air for him.
“Holy shit,” you hear Eddie whisper. “Definitely never done that before,” he laughed.
“Same,” you sigh, still fucked out.
Eddie picked up the discarded sheet off the floor and wiped off the remanence of his seed off of your ass and back.
“So, uh, that fix your problem?” He smirked.
“Only time will tell.” You sit back up finally with the sheet wrapped around you. “Maybe next time we will have you set up in the bedroom… You know, there is more space up there,” you smile.
“Next time?” Eddie smiles back.
“Yeah, maybe I’ll even cook you something, buy you dinner first.”
“I’d like that.”
Tags: @munson-blurbs @hunter-in-the-upsidedown @joejoequinnquinn @hellfirenacht @cinemabean @voyeurmunson @impmunson @asimpforthe80s @ali-r3n @take-everything-you-can @taintedcigs @trashmouth-richie @strangerstilinski @daisy-munson @bl00dy-hideout @babybimbo777 @lokis-army-77 @jamdoughnutmagician @sadbitchfangirl @mrsjellymunson @xacora @girlwiththerubyslippers @justiceforfoxface @katethetank @frogtape @cool-nick-miller @susie3334 @mrmiyagislittletrees @penguinsandpotterheads @eddies-acousticguitar @elvirasleftnipple @american-idiot-jpg @emo-taurus @ilovetaquitosmmmm @chloemm13 @gri959gri @seatnightsdea @faeriemunson14 @veemoon
#Eddie Munson x you#eddie munson x reader#Eddie Munson smut#modern!eddie#Eddie Munson imagine#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x fem!reader smut#modern!eddie munson x reader#modern!eddie munson#modern!eddie munsun x you
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satoru loves yapping [to you]
satoru was always chatty, shoko could definitely attest to that statement, subjected to too many conversations she definitely did not care about.
“isn’t it hotter than usual? i swear last year it was colder around this time of year-” he began, continuing to talk as shoko tried to focus instead on healing an injured itadori in front of her.
it seemed that his chatty characteristic only amplified when you were around, his eyes would visibly brighten, practically gleaming when you appeared in his eyesight.
“sweetheart! how are you? staying cold in this heat?” you can help but smile at him, walking straight into his already outstretched arms and squeezing his waist a bit, pressing a soft peck to his cheek before pulling away.
“heat? it feels so good out today!” you sigh happily, waving yellow to shoko and itadori, “it is hotter than last year though I’ll tell you that,” satoru grins at your words, turning to shoko with a flint in his eyes before turning back to you.
“that’s what I said! global warming is getting too severe-” the two of you walking out hand in hand, the taller man still talking as you listened intently.
satoru never felt the need to be quiet around you, always finding things to talk about no matter the task or the hour.
“and so you would think that since they were doing so bad they would think of making changes right?” you nod along, humming so he knows you’re listening, “but no! they keep going with same stupid strategy and it’s so frustrating as a fan to see, i just want him to achieve his dreams,” he sighs sadly.
“can you pass the salt?” you ask, taking it from his much larger hand, thanking him before speaking up again, “why does he keep resigning if they always treat him so poorly?” you ask, satoru smiles, heart warming at the fact that you really do pay attention to him.
“he’s always wanted to win with Ferrari- let me take you back to the beginning” he begins, giving you a summary of charles leclerc’s life as you finish cooking dinner.
you could always tell when he got a bit insecure of how talkative he was, but you’d always smile at him, urging him to go on. “and then what? why’d you stop talking?” you’d say, making him smile widely before quietly starting again.
“I’m listening, angel boy,” you mumble in between dreams, listening to him talk about how orange juice isn’t the same as it was when he was growing up and how the new game he downloaded was more complicated than it seems.
it could be nearing 2 in the morning but you wouldn’t mind, satoru would be discussing how and why wombats have cube shaped poops and how koalas eat eucalyptus and pandas have half a brain cell they don’t bother to use.
“it has no real nutritional value and that’s why they have to eat so much of it,” he mumbles, eyes drooping as he cuddles closer to you.
“aren’t they made to digest meat?” you whisper, head tucked into the crook of his neck, your breath running a chill down his spine.
“think so, dunno” he mumbles back, breathing evening out before he’s fully asleep.
your eyes open slowly as you crane your neck, his pink lips slightly parted as he takes soft breaths, snowy hair pointing every which way.
you can’t help but smile at your lover.
“goodnight pretty boy” you whisper, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, “my little yapper,” you chuckle to yourself, already looking forward to what he’d talk about tomorrow.
masterlist
a/n: hi friends ! just a quick little something i put together bc i miss satoru so bad lately </3 he’s def a yapper and i want to hear him talk all day and night
taglist (send an ask to be added!): @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags @fushironi @nineooooo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @gojoshooter @sat6ru @beautiful-is-boring @sweetheart-satoru @luna0713hunter @torusmochi
#he’s so my boyfriend#i would listen to him for hours on end <3#f1 mention happy race day ‼️#u can’t convince me he wouldn’t be in love w charles#not proofread we die like men#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru fluff#gojo satoru drabble#gojo satoru imagine#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#satoru gojo#satoru gojo fluff#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x reader fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen Drabble#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo x reader#gojo fluff#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo Drabble#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk x you#satoru gojo imagine#gojo satoru x reader fluff
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HELLO I AM BACK AND I ENTERED THE VOID!!!!!
To everyone reading this: the void is real. You can do it. You can reach the void state. Just relax
And trust me, I know how hard it is to relax when you want to enter so fucking bad. My circumstances fucking suck, yet I still did it. Persist, persist, persist.
I tried so many different methods and none of them were working for me. So I decided to reprogram my mind with High Frequency Guru’s void videos. I used two (that I can’t link bc I’m sending this anonymously but I’m dm’ing them to you) and downloaded them and just listened throughout the day. I listened until I got annoyed by them, switched to something else (music or a different unrelated video), then switched back to HFG’s videos.
Today, I laid down on my bed horizontally. I did this to avoid falling asleep, since laying with my legs crossed or on top of my blanket still made me fall asleep. Then, I put on Alunir’s void method. After that, I played an ASMR video. After the ASMR, I played a shifting meditation I’d never used before.
I moved during Alunir’s video bc I had an itch, but stayed still during the ASMR video and just focused on the voice in the videos. When I couldn’t feel my body, I just started saying “I Am” over and over again in my head. I entered about 10 minutes into the meditation video (and then got too excited so I ‘woke up’ from the void)
BUT if I did it once, I can do it again!!!! And next time I enter, I’m leaving with ALL my desires fulfilled
Thank you thank you thank you 🩷🩷🩷
If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t have made so much progress in such little time. I would quite literally not be here anymore.
Thank you SO much. I literally sobbed when I got out of the void bc it’s real and I finally did it 🥹🩷
-🍓
HELLOOOO MY FIRST SUCCESS STORY FROM THE BEST ANON EVER HERE
🍓 has been struggling with the void and her mindset for a minute, but she finally entered the void in such a short amount of time by simply persisting and not caring about her circumstances. she’s truly amazing and hardworking!!
thank you for sharing your story, it’s insanely motivating and shows how simple entering the void is, and also thank you for listening to me and my advice and continuing to fight on 🤧🥰🤍
LINKS:
high frequency gru’s void state self hypnosis
alunir void state guided meditation
asmr sleep meditation: shifting timelines
void state meditation
#🍓 anon#void state experience#void state#void state success#void state success story#reality shifting#desired reality#voidblr#shiftblr#law of assumption#meditation#void#void succes story
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bad boys do it better
rated: teen | @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt: modern au tags: dating apps, innuendo, bad flirting read on ao3
✿
Eddie finally opens Tinder after downloading it in a fit of desperation.
He's tried everything but these stupid apps—bars and clubs and pottery classes and rock climbing—trying to find someone he can connect with.
But he's mostly found guys that string him along with whispered sweet nothings and half-promises they don't intend to follow through on.
So he makes his profile and then promptly fumbles and drops his phone because— no fucking way.
There's no way this is real life.
There's no fucking way the first guy to pop up is Steve fucking Harrington, his unfortunate and longest lasting crush in high school.
He picks up his phone and sees Steve's face staring back at him, unassuming, a bright, cheery smile on his face.
Steve, 28 2 miles away "Hope you like bad boys because I have it on dvd and vhs" Interests: baseball, basketball, live music, movies
He taps to get to the next photo and lets out a shaky breath—the shorts of what can only be his Halloween costume are so short, exposing hairy thighs that Eddie wants to sink his teeth into.
The next photo is a snapchat picture of him grinning wide, cradling what might be the world's ugliest dog, the text across the screen reading my nephew is so handsome 🤩🤩🤩.
The last is an obligatory shirtless mirror pic, not showing off washboard abs, but the soft, toned skin of his stomach.
He closes the app, sets his phone down, and breathes through his nose.
This can't be real, right? In what world would Steve be the first person in a sea of profiles in San Francisco of all places?
Eddie expected him to chase after Nancy Wheeler when she went to Boston, but he didn't stick around long enough in Hawkins to find out if they ever rekindled their will-they-won't-they relationship.
Maybe he's just visiting. Maybe he found his match and just forgot to delete Tinder. Because there's just no way Eddie has this kind of luck.
He opens up Instagram and searches for Steve and finds him right away because they're probably still Facebook friends.
He scrolls through his profile and deflates a little, because all of the pictures on Tinder are from his Instagram. Which means it's probably much more likely that someone is catfishing using Steve's pictures.
Because the Steve from high school wasn't into men. And he's hot enough for someone to use his pictures to scam people or whatever.
He opens up Tinder again and his thumb is swiping right before he thinks about what he's doing.
It's a match!
Okay, now he knows it's a catfish. Or maybe it's a bot.
There's no world in which Steve Harrington would swipe right on him in the twenty minutes it's been since he created his account.
He types a message to "Steve" saying so are you a bot or just a catfish?
He doesn't get a response right away, so he clicks out of the messages, looking at profiles of what are hopefully actual people he can connect with.
His phone buzzes when the message from Steve comes in.
Hi3 Eddiems, cl!ck th3 linkin my proffile to . achat I am waitin9
He rolls his eyes and goes back to perusing profiles. It's not like he thought it was really Ste-
His phone pings with another message and he clicks back into the chat immediately.
That was a joke. There's not even a link in my profile
Eddie's heart beats a little faster, his fingers typing out a response.
So a catfish then?
Why do you think I'm a catfish?????
Because I know the guy in those pictures and there's no way hes into men. That guy was a jock extraordinaire in high school and very straight
You're awfully judgey for someone who was so anti-conformity in high school. Whos to say I haven't changed?
Or like, learned new things about myself?
Eddie's breath stutters in his throat.
Also you didn't really know me since we never talked.
Okay, I mean. It's pretty easy to guess that I was counterculture in high school by looking at me. So I'm still on the fence about the catfish thing
How about we meet up then? So you can see me in all my nearing-30 glory
And watch bad boys on dvd and vhs with you?
Dude, I am not inviting you to my house on the first date
That's a third date kind of thing
Oh yeah? Is it a back-to-back feature? We start with the vhs then move to dvd?
He can't believe he's entertaining this. A catfish wouldn't offer to meet up unless they thought Eddie wouldn't call their bluff. He kind of wants to see where this is going.
No see, we start with the dvd playing in the living room and then when we inevitably start being bad boys🥵 in the middle of the movie, we can pick it back up on vhs in my room later
To be clear, we stop the movie, right? I'm not sure bad boys has a soundtrack meant for the kind of activities we'd be doing
Oh for sure. I'd even put on my "let's get it on" playlist. As a treat.
Eddie can't help but grin. Even if this guy is a catfish, this is maybe the most fun he's had talking to someone in a long time.
Are you serious about meeting up?
Uh yeah, I can't have you thinking I'm a catfish forever
What's your favorite brewery?
Cellarmaker
Wanna do tomorrow afternoon at like 2 when it's not busy?
That sounds perfect
He isn't sure if it's really Steve or if he's going to be met with someone else or stood up, but at least he'll get to drown his sorrows if it doesn't work out.
Well—he's unsure until he gets the 'stharrington started following you' notification on Instagram a few minutes later.
He screams into his pillow so loud his neighbor thumps on the wall.
#steddie#stranger things#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie drabble#steddie ficlet#steddieholidaydrabbles#st ficlet#janai.doc
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can you write sana and reader scissoring in the back seat bcz the car can drive automatically ?!😋
knee deep in the passenger seat
synopsis: once again, exactly what req asked for :)
warnings: smut! scissoring in the backseat, some thigh riding, semi-public sex, cunnilingus implication, curse words
w/c: 2.2k
a/n: every author has their hardest type of fic to write and i fear mine is smut... still fun tho! enjoy stay safe dont plagirise etc etc :P
"how much longerrrrr?"
you look over to the passenger seat, laughing a little at your girlfriend's antics. she's been getting more and more restless as the drive went on. she'd already gotten through her entire collection of netflix downloads, taken various naps, and grown sick of her road trip playlists that she had specially made in preparation.
you place a hand on her thigh, "almost there baby. 2 hours to go."
"2 hours?!" she exaggerates, whining and putting her hand over yours, squeezing slightly.
"you can take another nap?"
"not tired." you don't have to look at her to tell she's pouting. but you would have to look at her to pinpoint the look she gets in her eye, coming up with an idea that would entertain her, and you for the remainder of the drive.
"hungry? there's still some snacks in the- w-what are you doing sana?" your grip on the steering wheel tightens as you feel her drag your hand up her thigh slowly.
"mm i'm not really feeling like the snacks we brought. i could go for something else though..." there's a suggestive lilt in her voice, and your grip around her thigh tightens out of habit. she smirks, knowing she has you wrapped around her finger.
"b-baby i'm driving."
"doesn't this car have an auto drive feature?" she inches your hand further up, her voice dropping an octave, using that tone you know she only uses when she wants something from you.
"y-yeah b-but- um- i-"
"hmm?"
just before she reaches her centre she brings your hand up to her mouth, taking your fingers in slowly, one by one, slicking them up and humming around them. you don't dare look at her, the feeling of her mouth wrapped around you enough to make you squirm in your seat.
"there we go. nice and wet. you'll help me out now won't you?" she doesn't wait for a response, bringing your hand back down, except she's unzipped her pants and shuffled them down already so your hand meets the skin of her inner thighs. you can feel the heat emanating from her core, anticipation building while she traces your fingers lightly over the sensitive skin of her inner thigh.
"b-baby-"
"c'mon let me have some fun honey. it'll be fun for you too i promise."
then she presses the tip of your finger directly above her clit, gasping at the barely there pressure, feeling her own arousal spike instantly.
you curse, using your other hand to quickly turn the auto-drive feature of the car on, while sana traces your finger down her clothed cunt, rutting into your hand when you start to feel her panties soil with her essence. she drags you slowly back up to her clit, making you press down fully this time, circling it and letting out a full blown moan. the sound goes straight between your legs, the feeling of her hot skin, the little nub under your fingertip.
when you're finally done with the settings and inputting your destination in the navigation system, you whip your head around to face her, expecting, but still completely unprepared for the look of sheer sex on her face.
she's got the hand that's not controlling yours in her mouth, sucking on her own fingers to try and muffle the sounds of pleasure she makes with each stroke of your fingers. her pants are shoved down to her thighs, you can see her thigh muscles straining to spread her legs wider for you, but the material only allows her to open herself up so much. she's got that lidded look that she knows drives you insane, her top messy from her wriggling and squirming. with wide eyes you realise she decided to forgo wearing a bra today, her nipples hard and visible through her thin camisole.
sana notices your gaze linger on her chest, pushing it out further with a smirk. "like what you see?"
"you didn't wear a bra." your voice is low, now that you have your full attention on her, you're hyper-focused on the way her breathing has gotten progressively heavier, the rise and fall of her chest and the increasing wetness under your fingertip.
"it's a roadtrip. i wanted to be comfy."
"or you planned this from the beginning?"
she smirks again, "you're delusional honey. now are you gonna help me or do i have to do it myself?"
you growl, leaning over and capturing her lips in a rough kiss, sucking her bottom lip into your mouth and biting down lightly. she moans, pressing your hand down against her cunt just a little harder to give herself more pressure.
at the reminder, you rip your hand away from her, ignoring her whine against your lips, sucking away any other sounds she tries to make. instead, you work at pulling her pants down fully, helping her out of them so her legs were now bare and spread for you.
you break away, glancing down briefly, your eyes darkening at the sight, a wet patch obvious on her panties as she whines and squirms against you.
"backseat. now."
you push yourself off of your seat, climbing into the backseat a little clumsily, earning a giggle and a cheeky slap on your ass, but you were needy now so you didn’t care how you looked, the mess between your thighs was all her fault.
once you’re sat you look at her expectantly, raising an eyebrow.
but she takes her time, making sure your eyes are on her before pulling off her top slowly, letting her breasts bounce down, knowing your eyes were glued to them. then she leans onto the dashboard, bringing her legs up onto the seat so her ass is facing you, teasingly pulling her panties down her legs, slow enough you can see the slick clinging to the material desperately as she reveals her cunt, pretty and soaked. you lick your lips in anticipation, the throb between your own legs growing almost unbearable.
she looks over her shoulder back at you when her panties are off, the most seductive look in her eyes, lips curled up. she crawls onto the middle console, then she's on her hands and knees in front of you, completely naked and dripping, hair falling to frame her face perfectly.
you lean back, rubbing your thighs together to generate any sort of friction, feeling the temperature of the car heighten.
"take off your clothes." she husks out, getting up so she's still kneeling but has her hands holding onto the sides of the passenger and driver seats to support herself.
you hasten to follow her instructions, yanking down your pants and pulling your top off over your head, undoing your bra and shuffling your panties down your legs. you waste no time, unlike her, too desperate for her touch to tease.
the way she's kneeling in front of you, means all the movements of the car translates directly onto her body. every small bump or rough patch of road the car drives over, her tits bounce along accordingly, nipples hard and pointed, just aching to be tugged and pinched. your gaze is fixed on them, completely obsessed.
finally, after you're both completely naked, sana slides forward. you're too eager to get your skin on hers that you grab her hips and pull her onto your lap harshly. her yelp transitions into a moan as soon as your heated skin meets.
she immediately starts grinding down into your thigh, you're completely mesmerised by the way her chest bounces, finally close enough that you can reach both hands up and cup them.
"f-fuck you can touch."
your hands squeeze, brushing your thumbs over her nipples gently, earning a moan from sana again.
you can't get enough of the sounds she makes, determined to hear more, squeezing her tits a little more harshly, playing around with them in your hands, then coming in to pinch her nipples simultaneously.
sana throws her head back at that, gushing at the feeling, rutting down faster, harder onto your thigh, fully riding it now.
you take the opportunity with the extra space to lean down and wrap your lips around a nipple, still tugging and twisting at the other one. you alternate between sucking motions and running your tongue over it in all sorts of directions, switching to the other nipple and repeating, hands never leaving her tits, never getting enough.
when you detach from her, you realise you've started thrusting up into her unconsciously as well, your body only reacting to the arousal and intense need to get off right now.
you latch back onto her tit, only able to break away for so long, but taking in your surroundings a little better now. you flush, tilting your head to the side so you can continue suckling on her nipple, taking in the highway. thankfully there weren't many cars on the road but the thrill of being caught, or anyone driving close enough to just peek in through the window to see the both of you, completely naked and enthralled with one another, sends a spike of arousal down your spine.
you can feel when sana gets closer to finishing, her breaths and moans picking up in pitch, her movements growing more frantic, hand on the back of your head, keeping you at her chest, curses falling out of her mouth.
you hum around her, pulling back and looking up, adoring the sweat that's built up, bits of her hair sticking to her forehead, eyes lidded, mouth open.
"close?" your voice is raspy, overrun with lust.
"m-mhm-"
at the confirmation, you suddenly move your hands down to her hips, grabbing them and forcing her still.
"w-what?! what are you doing?!"
"shh- just- let me-" you awkwardly shuffle around the backseat, trying to maneuver your bodies in the limited space, lying down and pulling her on top of you.
her breath hitches as your bare chests meet, faces suddenly close together, and then your shifting your legs and you mutter out a small curse, grinding up into her cunt, both your pussies drenched and gliding against one another, clits catching as you frantically bring her down into a kiss.
you both moan into each other, sana understanding what you wanted immediately, not wasting another second and rutting down into you, rubbing your cunts together.
it's wet, and hot, and scratches just the itch you need to have your back arching, desperately thrusting up into her, briefly wondering if your car was shaking from the frenzied humping, if other people could tell what was going on just by the movement of your car.
your nipples perk up when you feel sana's saliva-slicked chest rub against yours, the tight space making you feel all the more closer to her, chasing your highs together.
"f-fuck i'm- oh god- i-"
"c'mon- cum baby. that's what you wanted right? you entertained yet? you wanna cum all over me? all over my pretty pussy? fuck you're gonna make me cum too-"
she whines, burying her head in your neck, unable to continue kissing you, only focused on the primal need to reach that high.
"oh fuck you're so pretty baby- wanna see you cum- please? for me?"
sana's panting into your ear, grinding down, each thrust feeling rougher and faster than the last, and when you practically beg her to cum for you, she does exactly that, crying out and releasing.
you grab her hips and continue to rut up into her, chasing your own orgasm which comes easily when the girl of your dreams is writhing and coming undone right on top of you.
you come down with heavy breaths, holding sana in your arms and running a hand through her hair softly.
eventually sana peeks out from the crook of your neck, a hazy grin on her face, hair a mess, she's never been more beautiful.
"thank you."
"of course baby." you smile, brushing strands of hair that have fallen onto your face behind her ear.
she sits up, still on top of you, stretching a little. there's a twinge of arousal watching her body move. she looks back down at you knowingly, lightly trailing a hand up and down the valley of your chest and your stomach.
"how much longer do we have?"
you sit up as well, grasping her hands and interlocking your fingers, looking to the dashboard and squinting at the time to destination.
"like an hour."
sana hums, then pushes you back down so you’re lying flat on your back.
you raise an eyebrow in question.
she smirks, "enough time for me to eat you out. you know i get peckish after sex. you're the perfect snack."
and then she's lifting your legs onto her shoulders and diving in. you found it hard to find reasons to drive anymore when the auto-drive feature allowed sana to have you like this, not knee deep in the passenger seat and eating you out, but just as good.
#sana#minatozaki sana#twice sana#sana x reader#sana smut#twice smut#twice x reader#twice sana x reader#twice sana smut#twice imagines#sana imagines#dovveri
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You're reading what? (Ghost x reader x 141)
Summary: Soap finds out you're reading porn in your free time. Ghost decides to ask you about it.
Note: Barracks bunny, barracks bunny, barracks bunny! Sorry, reader's a slut. (affectionate) / I'll probably write more parts, maybe smut, maybe suggestive stuff, maybe fluff... I don't know yet. Check the #barracks bunny fics tag for more. / If you want to know when I post new stuff, follow @unreliablesnakefics and hit the get notifications button.
It was Soap who found out what you were reading in your limited free time during missions. You left your Kindle on the table while you went to the bathroom, and he wanted to see what book you were so invested in lately. When he read the first two paragraphs, his jaw dropped and a wide grin crept on his face.
"Hey, LT, you won't believe what she's reading," he said while he checked the title of the book just to know what to check later.
Ghost rolled his eyes, completely uninterested at the moment. He was busy writing a report that was due by the end of the day, and he had promised Price that he would do it on time. So he didn't have time to think about what stupid novel you were currently reading.
But Soap didn't give up. He put the device back where it was before, then took the chair next to the lieutenant. "It's porn. I'm not joking, she's reading porn," he said excitedly, keeping his voice down as he spoke.
With mixture of disapproval and interest in his eyes, he turned to the sergeant and asked, "And?"
"What do you mean? She's reading porn. No wonder she dodges every question regarding the books she's reading all the time," he replied before he typed something into his phone. "Here, this is the one she's currently reading."
Ghost took the device from him and tapped on the first search result. He read the summary, then moved on to some quotes the users highlighted. It was interesting to say the least. Were you really into this type of stuff?
When they heard your voice from the hallway, Soap took back his phone and closed the browser before you entered the room again. To you it probably seemed like they were talking about the mission and the report Ghost was writing, and this is why the lieutenant felt a little bad for this invasion of your privacy.
After being on this mission for so long, he was obviously frustrated. He couldn't just go to a bar to pick up someone, and his hand was less and less satisfying these days. His mind recently began to travel back to you and your book, and one afternoon, when he had some unexpected free time, he found himself buying and downloading that novel on his phone.
He got quite far in a matter of hours, and he couldn't help himself when he found you alone in a room after dinner. Ghost sat down across from you and took the Kindle from your hands to take a look at it. "Still reading porn?" he asked teasingly.
You gulped, your cheeks probably burning from the embarrassment you clearly felt. "H–How do you know about that?" you asked him after a few seconds of awkward silence.
"Soap stole this the other day," he replied as he gave back the device. "Don't worry, I think I'm the only one he told about this. Your secret's safe with me."
"I don't even want to know what you think about me now," you said with your head buried in your hands.
Ghost let out a dry laugh as he peeled your hands off your face. "Hey, it's okay. We spend way too much time here, I think it's safe to say we all need our fix one way or another," he assured you while holding your hand, his fingers absentmindedly drawing circles into your skin.
Maybe he was flirting with you. The more he thought about you and what he had read in that novel, the more he wished he could do that in real life with you. He had always liked you; the disciplined, tough, but also kind soldier that got along with everyone on the team.
And the one Price played favorites with, he reminded himself. They all had their suspicions about the captain's motivation, believing he himself had a crush on you from the start. After all, why else would he bring you small gifts every time you met again? Why would he spend hours talking to you alone?
Sometimes Ghost wondered if there was anything between the two of you. Were you off-limits? Or was it a one-sided thing?
"And what do you do to get your fix?"
Your question brought him back to reality and he instinctively let go of your hand. He couldn't say that he jerked off to the thought of you. No, that would be way too creepy. So he shrugged, hoping this was enough to answer your question.
After a short pause, Ghost folded his hands on the table and leaned a little closer to you. "Have you ever tried anything that you read in your little books?" he asked you with a grin under the mask.
With your head tilted to the side, you watched him in silence for a while as you thought about your answer. "Do you even know what's in them exactly?"
"I began to read one of them. The one that reminded me of the Fifty Shades of Grey stories, only in a hardcore version," he replied casually.
An amused hum left your lips. "How do you even know what those stories are about? You don't seem to be the type who's into them."
Of course, Ghost had an answer to that. "I had an ex who made me watch the whole series. I didn't like it. Back to my question, have you tried anything from that book for example?"
"I have," you replied immediately, shamelessly grinning as you watched him.
It was hard to surprise Ghost these days, but hearing you answering so honestly definitely took him off guard. "The whole power play thing?" You nodded without hesitation as you took a sip of your soda. "With who?"
"Does it matter?"
"No, it doesn't," he admitted, knowing full well he probably wouldn't know that person anyway.
The pair of you sat there in silence for a while, your eyes locking every now and then before you flashed a smile at him then dived back into your book. He didn't mind, instead of complaining he just leaned back in the chair and watched you.
Ghost hated feeling this way, he hated that he could do nothing but wish for a cold shower in your presence. If he stood up now, you would surely notice how excited he was to be near you. He wanted to play with you too, he wanted to find out what you had learned from those books of yours.
Gaz walked into the room with a stupid smile on his face then put his hands on your shoulders as he leaned closer. "Price wants to see you," he announced before suddenly taking the ebook reader from you and taking a look at the page you were at. "Ooooh, another one? Do you even read anything else?"
Biting on your lower lip, you exhaled through your nose angrily. "I'm gonna kill Soap. I swear to God I'm gonna shoot him before we go home," you told them before snatching your Kindle from Gaz's hands and heading towards the door.
But on the way there you stopped behind Ghost and leaned down to his ear. He could feel your hot breath on his skin which made his cock twitch in his pants. Fuck, what were you doing to him?
"By the way, if you want to know more about what I want to try from those books, just say it. I'm sure we could arrange that," you added as your hand squeezed his shoulder.
Before he could say anything, you left the room, leaving him alone with Gaz. "Oh, you haven't figured it out yet," the sergeant said with a laugh.
"Figured out what?" Ghost asked, completely dumbfounded.
But Gaz only shrugged. "She's fun to be around. That's all I'm saying."
And with that, he left too. The lieutenant had absolutely no idea what to think. There were you, probably suggesting sleeping with him one day, and there was Gaz with his mysterious comment about you. As he let out a groan, he let his forehead hit the table with a loud thud. Why couldn't things be simple?
#call of duty#modern warfare#simon ghost riley#simon riley#ghost#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost x reader#mw2#john mactavish#soap#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick#gaz#barracks bunny fics
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moth to a flame pt.1 - csb (m)
pairing: soobin x fem!reader word count: 17.5k genre: friends with benefits-ish (he helps her with dating tips and stuff), angst if u squint really hard, smut, fluffy, inspired a bit by moth to a flame - the weeknd warnings: 3rd person pov (as always), mentions of reader in love with another guy (haechan <3), slight fwb dynamic, mature content (fingering, blowjob, deep throat, a tiny suggestion of masturbation, unsurprisingly a mention of big dick!soobin) tagging: @once27, @pageriviera, @gyuzlover, @kookley77-blog, @sendhelpiloveyeonjun
[a/n]: part two here.
Y/N knew from the beginning that being shy would ruin her life. In her defence, she wasn’t a shy kid… Not at all – she had thousands of friends and was ever so bold, leading her close group if they needed that extrovert-hand. Her first teen years still thrived in her social butterfly skills. However, something changed mid to late teens, and she hid inside her shell to never see the light again…
Well, until she met Soobin during college.
They had similar personalities, all drawn to quietness, refined tastes and interests. Y/N still remembered the shock on her face when Soobin said he wasn’t joining their friends at the end-of-the-semester party, simply because he wasn’t in the mood.
Which guy in his early 20s would skip a party and be honest about the reason behind it?!
She decided, then, that he was probably worth of getting over her shyness and befriending.
And now, four years later, they were still going.
Which brought her to the current situation: Lee Donghyuck.
Handsome, extrovert and Soobin’s gamer friend.
They met at a PC Bang, and somehow, clicked. Soobin wasn’t exactly antisocial, but he was shy, reserved and more on the quiet side, so getting close to a loud guy like Donghyuck in such setting was a welcomed surprise. Y/N looked at it as a sign to get out of her shell again, too.
But wanting to do it and doing it were two different things.
[19:06] y/n: where tf r u at
[19:06] binbin🐰: well some of us have stuff to do
jk i just got in
gonna shower and meet u in 15
She couldn’t help but grin, waiting.
The door lock rang with the noise of a password being typed. Seconds later, she heard his shoes being thrown inside the shoe-rack. Then, in a heartbeat, she was met with Soobin’s tall frame. When he saw her, his face broke in a pleased smile, while he rolled his eyes in faux annoyance.
“Now, what the fuck are you doing here?” Soobin took off his jacket, dimples still in full display despite his slightly harsh tone. “Are you that impatient?”
“Beomgyu and Mimi were doing a horror movie session, so we’ll have to do ours here.” She mused uninterested, laying back on the sofa again. “When I got home, they were already there, so���”
“Alright.” He sighed, opening a bit of his button-up. “I’ll wash up and see you in a minute.”
Her attention travelled from his face to his hands, wondering why men normally looked so good undressing themselves. “I’ll be waiting.”
Because, honestly, what else she could do?
Unblocking her phone, she scrolled through TikTok for a while, trying to distract herself. Her girl friends had warned her not to do what she was about to, suggesting she downloaded Tinder and got things over with, but Y/N just preferred to die than to use dating apps… Especially when she had means to try to catch Donghyuck by natural ways.
As soon as Soobin took his seat next to her, hair still damp from the shower and smelling his usual scent of vanilla and warm hugs – if that shit ever made sense –, Y/N felt her heart racing with expectation. It was such a risqué move, but she was desperate.
Somehow, all those years without male attention (in a romantic way) and her unbearable shyness started piling out, and it just got too much.
“Fried chicken and beer.” He mused. “You think of everything, thanks.”
“It’s not me, we’ve decided it yesterday.” She shrugged. “Which one are we watching tonight? We have three options: Kimi no Na wa, good ol’ Inuyasha, and finish that borderline pornographic and weird Kakeguri. Or, and hear me out, or you could finally listen to me once and give Ao Haru Ride a chance.” Y/N tucked her hands in a praying sign.
“I listened to you with Tokyo Ghoul, but only season one was good.”
“It’s because you’re tasteless! And you didn’t even try the manga!”
“You complained about the end in both.” He chuckled.
“B-but it’s because I was there for the gore and Ayato! But Ishida-sensei turned him into a softie…”
“This coming from the girl that only watches shoujo or josei.”
“Well, it’s your loss. Yeonjunnie and I just finished season three of Shingeki no Kyojin, and he’ll assure you I my recommendations are top tier.” She crossed her arms.
“I’ll watch it if you watch Jujutsu with me.”
“Fuck off.” Y/N groaned.
Another chuckle, and his dimples made an appearance. “What’s ‘Kimi no Na wa’ about?”
“Beomgyu said it’s a movie, and it was mind-blowing. Since we have similar tastes, I put it on our list.” She handed him her phone. “But if you’re in the mood, we can always watch Shin-chan.”
Quickly reading the synopses, he shook his head. “I’ll trust you and Beomy again.”
Her smile was enough to make him not care if their choice was good or not.
Y/N had planned to introduce her problem during their anime-party, but as expected, she was so invested in the movie that it escaped her completely. By the end of the animation, she was nestled on her side of the sofa, holding back a sob, teary eyes burning with the need to weep. As the credits appeared on the screen, she looked at her best friend, and her lips quivered.
“Oh God, you too?” Her voice sounded choked.
He had a tear or two rolling down his face, eyes red and glinting. “This was…”
“So beautiful! So tragically beautiful!” She stroked his damp cheek, collecting a teardrop. “Can’t believe you really cried… Beomgyu will holler when he hears about this.”
“So don’t tell him!” He pouted. “Why are you holding back? Your eyes are teary, too.”
“You know I hate crying. However, it’s been a while since I felt so touched by a movie that I almost gave in.” She giggled shakily. “Well, that was amazing.”
“Want something sweet for comfort? I baked Nutella bread.”
“Were you planning on telling me this at some point or…?”
Grinning, Soobin got up and went to the kitchen. “Honestly, I was trying to keep it low, because I don’t want Beomgyu eating them all.” His voice was muffled by the distance. “However, I can make an exception for you.” Since Y/N disliked skinship or anything that made her look weak next to any living thing, throughout years of friendship, Soobin noticed she often used food as comfort.
“When did you bake them?”
“Yesterday.”
“Makes sense.” She chuckled, remembering Beomgyu slept at her apartment, which was on the floor above. “Did his stomping annoy you? He did it on purpose.”
“I barely noticed, I was gaming with the boys.”
Oh.
Her heart skipped a beat, tongue tingling with the unspoken question.
“What did you play? Did you win?”
“Overwatch, and yes, I did. I mean, we did.”
“Who did you play with?” She really hoped her voice was tinged with normal curiosity.
“That you’ve met? Yeonjun and Donghyuck… Beomy was out, as you know.”
“Hmm… Of course, you guys would win, my Yeonjunnie never loses!”
“He almost fucked things up, though.” Coming back with a huge plate, Soobin took his place next to her once again. “Luckily, I had his back. Here, take a bite.” He held the bread in front of her.
Steading his wrist, Y/N did as instructed, biting into the soft dough and being quickly hit by a Nutella explosion. She half-groaned, half-chuckled as the filling stained her chin. Wiping it out with her finger, she sucked the spread and moaned in delight.
“Fuck, Soobin, you get better every time!”
His adorable dimples were on display, and his eyes twinkled with satisfaction. “Right?”
There was a comfortable silence, each eating bread while the credits finished rolling.
Maybe that was the right time to ask him for the favour. Despite her best friends reasoning her not to mix business with pleasure, she just couldn’t think of anyone else to turn to. Also, if he rejected her, then she’d find something else, for sure. But, as for now, this was the best idea she came up with, and if one looked at it seriously, they’d understand it made perfect sense.
“So… I was thinking…” She started, licking her fingers clean.
“Please, don’t. It’s never good when you do!”
“Maybe when Beomgyu and I do it together, I admit, but when I do it alone…”
“And was this alone?” He cut her off, sceptical.
“Why, of course!” Y/N slapped his thigh. “Now, listen, I was thinking… About this guy… I have a crush on him, you know? And it’s been a while since it happened.”
“And?”
“And you’re friends with him... So, maybe if you could help me in this, I’ll be your slave for a week or something?! And by helping, I mean, act like a wingman and also teach me the things he likes, how to flirt with him, what to do when we finally get together, like… Intimate time and… It’d be like, for practice purpose, just so I build up enough confidence to grab his attention and ask him out.” Normally, when she was nervous, she’d start babbling nonsense. But that? That was a whole new level of nonsense. “No hard feelings if you don’t want to or anything. However, I’d really, really appreciate your guidance, because…”
“Stop! Stop!” His big hands waved next to his face, silencing her. “What the fuck are you on?!”
“I beg your pardon?” She frowned.
“Have you any idea of what came out of your mouth just now? Are you completely insane?” His eyes were wide, disbelief dripping in every word. “Y/N, I can’t j-just teach you stuff! This is something you don’t…” He paused, uncomfortable with the mere thought.
“What? If not you, then who? I don’t have a love life, Bin. I haven’t kissed a man in years!”
“I don’t know! Maybe Yeonjun? He’s sure more experienced and... H-he’s your darling dearest!”
“Are you insane?” It was her turn to ogle him as if he was an alien.
“Excuse me?”
“How can you even suggest that?!”
“Suggest what? Yeonjun?” Soobin rose to his full height, restless. “I don’t even know why we’re still on this topic; anyway, yes, he’s your favourite man on Earth, so just…”
“Precisely why he’s not even an option!” She cut him off. “How can you even suggest…!” She was baffled. “Oh my God, that’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard!”
“I don’t know if I should feel offended or relieved by your proposition, then.”
“No, no, no. You’re going about this in the wrong way!” Y/N groaned. “Yeonjun and I are like siblings, kindred spirits. The mere idea of being something other than it makes me feel weird.”
“But the idea of being intimate with me doesn’t? I’m not a kindred spirit to you too?!”
“It’s different.” She huffed, hesitating.
“Different how?”
“W-well, different! Different in a way you’re not a brother to me, but a best friend.” Y/N cringed at the words as they came out, knowing they didn’t sound like a compliment… But they were!
“God, you want me to help you with some guy, but somehow, I’m not even worth kindred spirit category?! You do have a way of making people feel special, Y/N.”
“Ugh, you’re making it sound like it’s a bad thing!”
“It is a bad thing, you lunatic woman!” Soobin shook his head, exasperated. “We’ll be risking our friendship, for fuck sakes! A boy and a girl can’t exactly remain friends after stuff like that.”
“Well, Yeonjunnie and I…”
“You didn’t ask Yeonjun this!”
“Well, if you don’t want to, you can just say it!”
“I just did!” He groaned, ruffling his hair again.
“Ok!” Y/N crossed her arms, pouting.
“Ok!” He mimicked her.
The silence, once comfortable, wasn’t like that anymore. She knew it could come to that result, but she really thought Soobin would say yes. Side-eyeing him, her heart clenched. They used to argue, for she was weirdly similar to Beomgyu in some ways (and he got in Soobin’s nerves often), but Y/N could never stay mad at him for too long.
“I was… It was… It was just an idea.” She relaxed her posture, offering the white flag first. “I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable… I was just desperate for a direction.”
Resting his head on the upholstered headboard, Soobin sighed, forcing his body to relax too. “I’m sorry I lost my temper.” He said. “Who is him, by the way?”
“D-Donghyuck.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, that’s huge.” And he understood her crazy mind a bit more. “I can tell you what he likes, though.” He still stood firm against getting involved with her, but that much he could help.
“Can you?”
“I can’t promise it will work, but…” He shrugged.
“It doesn’t matter, I’d love to hear it!” She reached for him, tugging at his hand with a hopeful smile. “Any little thing you remember, I want to know them all.” Her thumb stroked his skin.
Upon feeling such unusual caress, Soobin looked from their joined hands to her face, lighted-up with a spark of adoration. How did it pass him that his best friend had a crush?! How could he be blind to such changes? Was he really so nonchalant towards others?
“How long has it been?”
“Pardon?”
“Your crush, how long has it been?”
“Almost two months.” It was the first time she blushed because of a real life guy in front of him, and Soobin found it unexpectedly fascinating. “Why?”
“I was wondering why I didn’t notice it before.”
“Well, I don’t exactly go around telling people about it, nor I’ve met Donghyuck enough times for you to pick up the way I become a mess near him.”
He grinned, finding that absurd. Y/N never became a mess near anyone; in fact, she rarely gave people more than three seconds of honest attention.
“You’re not gonna like this, but his favourite food at the moment is jangeo-gui.” His smile grew at her disgusted face. “Better start appreciating eels if you wanna make him happy.”
She rolled her eyes at his teasing, but urged him to keep going.
A week later
In that boring Thursday night, Beomgyu arrived with yet another huge bowl of sweets – this time, matcha and white chocolate cookies.
“It’s out of hand! Someone has to intervene!” He whined, giving it to Y/N. “It’s your favourite.”
“I’m not really into cookies, though.”
“But you love matcha and white chocolate, so wipe this out of Earth, please. I can’t stand looking at desserts anymore!” He pouted. “Soobin is so annoying! Why is he doing this to me?”
“Pretty sure you’re not his target in anything, Beomy, but go off I guess.” Mimi chuckled.
“Then why is he baking sweets non-stop?! He knows how much I like eating them.”
“Maybe he has a lot on his mind, you know he does that when he’s thinking.” His girlfriend shrugged, eyeing Y/N. “Do you have anything to do with this or is it just a coincidence?”
“Me?” Y/N widened her eyes, faux surprise laced in her tone. “Why would I?!”
“I wonder.” Mimi quipped.
“Beomgyu!” Y/N turned to her friend.
“I can’t help, sorry.” He raised his hands in surrender.
“Yeonjunnie would!”
“Of course, he’s your darling dearest! I don’t even come in second, Soobin is there.”
“That’s not true!” She pouted. “You’re Mimi’s boyfriend, I couldn’t possibly put you in first! Besides, despite obvious reasons, you’re my favourite girl friend.”
“I hate her.” Beomgyu looked at Mimi. “I truly do.”
“How can you say that when we’re literally the same person?!” Y/N’s pout grew bigger. “Well, since I’m not cared for here, I’ll go to someone who-”
“Soobin’s not home. He went out with Yeonjun.” Beomgyu cut her off.
“Where to?”
Mimi raised an eyebrow at Y/N. The fact that she didn’t know Soobin’s schedule was enough for her to suppose the eldest one did ignore everyone’s warnings and went on with her crazy plan. And by Y/N’s intentional gaze on Beomgyu (avoiding hers), Mimi didn’t even need confirmation.
“A PC Bang. Actually, I’m quite late myself.”
“Are you going there too?”
“Nah, I’m staying home.” He stood up. “Got your things, babe?”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
“Wait, you’re leaving too?”
“Yeah, I’ll sleep there.” Mimi agreed. “Enjoy your batch of cookies and stop messing with Soobin’s head. Haera said she’ll drop by to install our cabinet, so pay attention to the doorbell.”
“Ok.” Sighing, Y/N took a cookie. “I’ll be all alone and miserable because my friends either hate me or are too busy to hang out with me.”
Beomgyu’s giggle infuriated her, and she cursed Haena and Felicia for not living in the same building. At least, if Hae really showed up, she’d have company for dinner.
It was past eleven when Y/N’s front door opened. She was tucked on the sofa, the plate with 5 matcha cookies already empty, jokingly wallowing in pity for being left out, throat tight and eyes burning with the need to cry – not for the light-hearted drama she made, but for the anime movie she watched. If she wasn’t so intended in pretending to be mad at Beomgyu, she’d text him and recommend ‘5 Centimetres per Second’. It was always gut-wrenching to deal with open endings, and by reviews, this one wouldn’t be as optimistic as Kimi no Na wa’s. At this point, one would wonder: why did she keep watching sad movies if she didn’t want to cry or feel sad?
Obviously, she wanted to challenge herself and see until when she could take it.
Before the first teardrop could break through her resolve, the electronic door-lock rang, and she sat down, surprised. Pausing the movie, Y/N searched for her phone… Haena hadn’t called, but the seven missed calls from ‘Darling dearest’ and three from ‘Binbin’ warned her beforehand.
“Yeonjunnie?!” Whoever looked at her wide grin now could never guess she was about to cry milliseconds ago. Rushing towards the man, she hugged him tightly.
“Hi, darling.” Yeonjun kissed her head. “Watcha doing? Why didn’t you pick up?”
“I was watching a movie.” Y/N gestured to the living room. “Wanna come in?”
“We’re already in, but I just dropped by to see you for a bit. I’m heading home.”
“I’ll crash here, though.” Soobin stated. “Beomgyu’s sulky because we lost and he’s blaming me… I don’t want to deal with his complaints, so I’ll spend the night. Is it ok?”
“Of course.” She agreed. “Don’t you want to stay too?” Her fingers pinched Yeonjun’s arm slightly, and Soobin wondered why she was always so quick and sure in wrapping herself around their friend, but when it came to him or anyone else, Y/N was distant.
“Nah, then we won’t get an hour of sleep.” He chuckled. “You’ll talk my ears off, and Beomgyu already did it… In screaming fashion.”
She grinned. “Looks like he wanted to piss everyone off today. I’m mad at him too.”
“That’s new. What happened?”
“He said he’s not my first option, so he didn’t defend me when I needed him to.” She shrugged, scrunching her nose a bit. “You would jump down anyone’s throat for me, wouldn’t you?”
“Without hesitating.” Yeonjun agreed. “We both would, actually. And that’s why we’re better than Beomgyu, so don’t sweat it. I’m leaving.” With another kiss on her head, he pinched her cheek and moved to the door, eyeing Soobin with a raised eyebrow. “Bye, bro.”
Soobin waved, sighing. “See ya.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay? I’d love to have a sleepover with my darling dearest and my Binbin.” She tried one last time.
“Not tonight, darling. I really need some rest.” Yeonjun lied, going out.
Truth be told, Y/N didn’t mind it that much. Her real problem was the white elephant that still lingered in the room when she was alone with Soobin.
He ignored her for the whole week, and she didn’t blame him. Y/N ignored him too. They played safe while he listed what Donghyuck liked or not, but after the topic died, she was annoyingly embarrassed, and soon excused herself home. It was their last conversation up until now. She kept herself busy during the whole weekend, then, thanks to her job, she didn’t have much time to spare until tonight. When Beomgyu told her Soobin was out with Yeonjun, her stomach did flip in relief, for she wouldn’t have to show up in his house out of nowhere, just so their friends wouldn’t notice something definitely wasn’t right with them.
She was never shy near Soobin, and he most definitely wouldn’t pretend she didn’t exist.
But he baked non-stop, leaving her a bit guilty. In a moment of repentance, she opened Instagram and followed Hyuck. Maybe she didn’t need to bring Soobin into her messy though eventless love life. Maybe she could woo Donghyuck without his (or anyone’s) help.
Facing the floor, she took a deep breath and tried to put on her best expression.
“So… Are you hungry?”
“I had dinner at the PC Bang.” He took off his shoes, taking his pair of slippers that were there.
“Oh, I see. Then, what do you wanna do now?”
“Freshen up and skincare, maybe?” Soobin suggested.
“You already know the way.” She gestured towards the rooms. “I’ll clean this up and meet you in a second.” Taking the plate, she wondered if she should tell him about the sweets. However, Soobin was already moving, and silence kept her company.
Turning off the TV, Y/N rushed to the kitchen.
There was an unsettling feeling in her stomach. He couldn’t possibly be there just because his roommate and best friend was annoying – if so, he would’ve slept in her house almost every day. And he wouldn’t most likely show up unannounced, not after what happened to them a week ago.
Which drew her to the only conclusion left: he wanted to talk to her about that.
All the baking, the ghosting, the uneasiness… Soobin had been thinking.
The bathroom had the door opened, and Y/N caught a glimpse of him in his grey sweatpants and white shirt, already changed for bed. She rested against the doorframe, unsure of the silence, but not wanting to push any buttons before reading his mood.
“Are you not joining me?” He asked, bringing her out of her trance.
“Oh, I… Of course.” Stepping in, she took his side, watching themselves in the mirror. Soobin was tall and lean, his black hair was tossed to the back thanks to her hairband. He looked tired, which only added to her guilt. “Did you and Yeonjunnie have fun tonight?”
“Yeah, it was nice.”
“I’m glad.”
He didn’t say anything else, and Y/N felt discouraged. After brushing her teeth, she started her routine and he left, saying he’d wait her in the bedroom.
To say she took her time was an understatement. She was afraid of being alone with him and that awful atmosphere around them.
However, she couldn’t spend the night in the bathroom.
Soobin wasn’t lying on the floor like he used to. He was sitting on her desk, doing something on his phone, but as soon as she showed up, he put it down.
“You couldn’t find the mattress?” She wondered.
“I was hoping we would sleep together.”
Y/N froze.
What the actual fuck?!
“I beg your pardon?”
“I meditated about your request… About Hyuck and all,” He looked at her. “and I accept it.”
If there was one thing Choi Soobin never failed to amaze her, was in his straightforwardness. He had a really non-conflict, introspective and introverted personality… But, boy, when he decided to speak his mind… He didn’t play around. When he reached his resolve, that was it.
“O-oh.” She was flabbergasted.
“So, how is this going to work? We’ll schedule classes?! Go with a more ‘unserious’ approach?”
God, he was…
Overwhelming, sometimes.
“I-I didn’t think much past the need to be helped.” Y/N confessed, feeling her mouth dry. “And you had declined before, so I just… Kind of ignored everything.”
The unsettledness in her stomach was annoying and embarrassing. She knew better than asking him if he was sure – he would never go back to this topic and change his mind if he wasn’t.
“Well, we need a plan, don’t we?”
“Yeah, sure.” Agreeing, her face coloured. “But I’m sorry, Bin, I know I requested it… But I’m not exactly in the mood to… You know… Get intimate tonight.”
“What?” He frowned.
“Don’t get me wrong, you’re handsome and all, b-but… I think I need a bit more time to…”
His chuckle announced his dimples. “Wait, did you think I was asking to have sex with you?!”
“Y-you said ‘I was hoping we would sleep together’!” She retorted, defensive. “We never slept in the same bed, so I... Y-you just had agreed with it and I…”
“I wouldn’t be so tactless, Y/N.” He cut her off, that easy smile still on his lips. “Even if it’s not our main purpose here to woo each other, I’d be more romantic about it.”
Y/N gulped, wondering why the perspective now made her feel… Bothered.
“Ok, let’s end this conversation here. I’m turning off the lights.” She reached for the light-switch. “So fucking awkward, oh my God! What did I have in mind?” Her whisper still could be heard.
“You want to back off? I can just play cupid.” He offered.
But there was no use him playing wingman if she would still feel insecure.
“No.”
“Then lay down and try to relax. Donghyuck is pretty touchy, so you have to get used to someone invading your personal space.” Soobin took his side of the bed, staring at the ceiling. “How is that you can’t leave Yeonjun alone, but when it comes to anyone else, you look uncomfortable?”
“I honestly don’t know. As far as I’m concerned, it’s always been like that.” She shrugged. “I also like it when you hug me and stuff, though you don’t do it often.” Y/N was thankful for the dark, ‘cause this way he wouldn’t catch her blushing (again).
“I thought you didn’t like it, so I held back.”
“Well, I do.” Y/N felt his body warm next to her, pulling the covers over them.
Soobin turned around, facing her profile. His hand found her arm, tracing her skin while going up and down. There was something heavily intimate about the way her breath caught, and he felt his chest tighten at the quiet sound. “Is this alright?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me about the movie.” He asked, knowing some distraction would help ease her out.
“It’s an open ending like ‘Kimi no Na wa’, but from what I understood from the reviews, it doesn’t hint at happiness.” She turned to him, too, and his hand slid to her waist. “B-Bin?”
“But what is the plot? Why did you decide to watch it?” His fingers explored from her waist to her back, urging her closer. “C’mere, I wanna hug you.”
Hugging Choi Soobin was one of a mortal’s most preferred activities, she was sure. On the rare occasions they hugged, Y/N almost melted against him. He had the perfect amount of comfort, warmth and strength… And, again, he smelled so good she wanted to truly dissolve into him.
“It’s divided in three parts.” She moved, being caged by his arms. “W-what should I do now?”
“Hug me back, silly.” He chuckled, and her face was pressed against his chest, letting her feel the vibration of that cute sound. “Keep going, don’t get distracted by this.”
“Easy to say, since you like skinship!” Y/N groaned.
“You’re reading too much into it, it’s just a hug. Relax.” His big hands kept moving on her back, scratching it slightly, like her mom used to do when she was younger and had trouble sleeping.
“Fuck, I must look so pathetic right now.” She looked up, meeting his eyes.
It was dark, the city lights doing a poor job of brightening the room a bit, but Y/N could still see the gleam in those soft boba eyes of his. The blush on her face deepened, heart skipping a bit. Could it be that because it had been so long since she was in a man’s arms (that wasn’t Yeonjun), any minor interaction would have her mind running wild?! Because she felt so confused in how to behave there – should she mimic the caress? Should she rest her face next to his neck, or keep it where it was? Should she turn around and be the small spoon?
“No, you don’t.” His voice was slightly hoarse. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long, but I didn’t know how you’d react. It was really hard to spend anime nights feet apart.”
The confession took her by surprise. “Why is that people care so much about skinship?”
“I’m not sure, but to me, there’s some kind of next-level comfort in it.”
“You’re just touch starved.” She rolled her eyes, noticing his smile widening. Such a pity the dark shadowed his dimples! “However, I’ll admit it’s quite nice.”
“Better than Yeonjun’s?”
“Oh, know your limits.”
Now he laughed, and his body shook a little, grip tightening in reflex. Y/N swallowed the truth: hugging him had absolutely nothing to do with hugging her darling dearest… And it was scaring.
Three days later
Donghyuck offered her a beer and winked. She felt her heart clenching, forcing a smile back.
It was the fourth time she met Hyuck out of a PC Bang. Sometimes she’d join Soobin there, not to play any games he liked, but just to be out of the house a bit. Tonight, she wasn’t feeling like staying home, but didn’t want the noisy mess of the PC Bang… So, her amazing friend suggested they met for chimek after he finished his hours there.
Therefore, here she was, sat between his tall body and Yeonjun’s comforting presence, staring at the guy in front of her with heart-eyes and rosy cheeks… Thankfully, she could blame the alcohol.
“Oh, thank you.” She hoped her voice was steady.
“I saw your Stories yesterday about the Flying Yoga class.” Hyuck grinned. “Soobin aced it.”
“He did, didn’t he?!” Her face relaxed into a more natural smile.
“I still feel my crotch burning and my leg circulation being cut out.” Yeonjun laughed.
“If I was there, I’d be like Beomgyu and scream the whole time.” Donghyuck commented. “I still can’t believe he agreed to it.” The grin on his heart-shaped mouth was enough to make her gulp.
God, she wanted to kiss that man so fucking bad it was embarrassing.
“The instructor didn’t appreciate it, but it made the pain bearable because I got distracted laughing at him.” Y/N replied, not wanting to waist a second without engaging with him.
“I might’ve been the MVP, but Y/N has the best flexibility.” Soobin said, letting his hand rest on her thigh and giving her knee a pinch. “She does Pilates, you know?”
Donghyuck looked at her, interested. “Oh.”
“Do you play any sports, Hyuck?”
“A bit of football, badminton… But nothing too extreme.” He shrugged. “I invited Soobin once to join my football team, but he said he preferred not moving an inch from his bed.”
“He’s a homebody, unfortunately. I had to almost cry in order to drag him to the class.” She chuckled. “I bring him to the gym two to three times a week, but he whines all the time.”
“I might try Pilates with you if you want, sounds quieter and easier.” Soobin offered.
“Tsk, he got so cocky after the Flying Yoga episode.” She playfully rolled her eyes.
Before they could comment on anything else, the waiter brough their fried chicken. As always, a variety of flavours were ordered, so they could indulge without restriction.
Something shifted between them.
Soobin noticed it during dinner – not when Y/N begged him to ‘teach her’ to flirt and all that. His lingering touches might’ve just cracked open something inside her, or a switch had been flipped and she was now a different person… Not that he was gonna complain. He absolutely melted when he took his hand off her thigh, and not a second later, she reached out for him again, linking their arms. And throughout the rest of the night, she just wouldn’t leave him alone.
Walking back home, she remained glued to him.
“Maybe we could’ve g0ne to the club with them…”
“You want to? I can take you there.” Soobin typed his password.
“Do you?”
“Nah.”
“Then I don’t, either.”
He chuckled, letting her inside first. “You’re funny.”
“If you think about it, it’s better this way. I wouldn’t know what to do if Donghyuck flirted with someone, and I’m not exactly ready to be on his radar yet.” She took off her shoes, sighing.
“What is it that you’re so afraid off?”
“I don’t know… It’s been so long and I feel like an insecure teenage girl.”
He hummed. “Well, lucky for you I exist.”
“I swear people assume you’re shy and introverted, but are not aware of your conceited ass.”
“The fact that I prefer being left alone doesn’t mean I’m ugly.” He shrugged, smirking. “You know, these dimples made a bunch of girls cry in high school and college.”
“So I’ve been told.” Y/N pretended to be unphased. “Are you gonna game now?”
“Nope. I think we should finally decide on our plan, no?” Soobin had to hold back another chuckle, for he found it funny that she was avoiding this talk when she was the one to request his help.
“Right now?”
“I don’t see a better time. C’mon Y/N, do you want Donghyuck or not?!”
“I do, but it’s embarrassing to be this inexperienced at my age and let people know about it!”
“Don’t think like that, there’s not a right time for this… People experience love when they have to.”
Her smile was shy, but she felt so glad Soobin was in her life. Not even once he made fun of her insecurities, he was respecting her boundaries and trying to get her off her shell slowly, so she wouldn’t be overwhelmed. Yeah, he did call her a lunatic before, but she could understand where he came from – if he was the one asking such favour, she’d react the same.
That’s why he was so right for the role.
“Thank you.”
His dimples broke in for the nth time, but it was different. This time, she felt the impulse.
“What?” Soobin frowned slightly, noticing her weird expression.
“N-nothing.” Y/N cleared her throat. “Just trying to remember if I brought back my clean pyjamas from home… Or else I’ll have to go upstairs to fetch one.”
“You did, I put it in my stuff. Let’s go, then.”
She gathered her thoughts, trying to reason with them. It made sense, albeit embarrassing. She spent the evening with Hyuck, and Soobin being the chosen one for helping her, it was only natural she’d feel some kind of magnetic force pulling her to him… They were about to discuss strategies that’d take her to Donghyuck. It was obvious she’d fantasise about kissing Soobin.
Because they would kiss each other… At some point.
Ever the gentleman, Soobin let Y/N use the bathroom first. She changed clothes, flossed, brushed her teeth and did her skincare. After that, she laid on his bed while he finished his night routine.
All the time, her mind spiralled between Hyuck’s playful smirk and a way to get it directed at her. He was such a funny guy, his aura pretty welcoming, and if Y/N didn’t spend the whole evening drooling over him, she’d notice how easy it would be to become friends with him – and then, she’d could try being something more. However, she’d just have to get rid of her shyness first. Nothing would work if she kept in her shell, insecure and afraid of letting her true self come out again.
“A penny for your thoughts.” Soobin wondered, slipping in the bed too.
Y/N shuffled to the wall, giving him some room. “How do I stop being shy?”
“Uh… If I knew, I probably wouldn’t be shy myself.” He grinned at her bored face. “But I think you either are born like that, or you get there through trauma.”
“I was born like that… But something happened and I withdraw completely… I can’t remember what, though.” She sighed. “Do you think Hyuck would mind if I’m quieter in the beginning?”
“I think he’d like someone calmer than him, yeah.” Soobin mused. “So, our plan…?”
She groaned, turning to face him. “What do guys like? How does one tickle their interest?”
“Hmm… It’s different for each guy, but normally having a pretty face and a pretty body do the trick.” He couldn’t help but chuckle, knowing she was getting annoyed. “But I know you already know this… So, we can try to find out if he thinks you’re pretty.”
“How?”
“Do you guys follow each other on Instagram?”
“Yeah, I followed him first.”
“It doesn’t matter. Did he like a picture or something?”
“The last posted.”
“Nice.” Then he frowned. “Fuck, Y/N, your last picture posted is from two years ago!”
“Well, yeah, but…” She pouted. “You know I’m not into Instagram!”
“You’re going to have to be more active, though. At least in the start, just so you keep fresh on his mind. Like, every time he opens the app, there you are.” Soobin smiled. “Do you have Tinder?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Well, maybe if you matched on Tinder, you could crack a joke or something… It can be a good topic. He might like a girl that jokes around like he does.”
She sighed, seeing his point. “But what if he isn’t there? What if–”
“He is there.” Soobin stated. “Now, we just need to know if you’d match. Where’s your phone? Let’s set your profile up right away.”
“You’re enjoying this now, aren’t you?” Y/N gave up resisting, touching the mattress, searching for the device. He giggled cutely when her fingers pinched his waist, and she couldn’t help but smile at him too. “Here, you were laying on it.”
She let him do everything, snuggling closer and breathing his sweet cologne, answering his questions whenever needed. Being this close to him was a whole new state of cosiness, and she was actually living for it. Yes, he was bony and thinner than she actually enjoyed, but Soobin was warm and soothing in a way that didn’t match his body.
He even decided on her profile picture, mumbling quietly that she looked pretty.
“Tomorrow we’ll continue this, ok?” Blocking her phone, he put it on the bedside table. “So, apart from Tinder and Instagram, what else?”
“Shouldn’t you be the one guiding?”
“Not like that, silly. I mean, what else are you insecure about? What do you think you’ll need me?”
“You already told me some of his preferences, so I feel confident enough to start a conversation… Well, if I stop drooling over him whenever he’s near.” She chuckled. “But… Bin, what do people do in a date? I’ve never been to one, you know.”
“Never?”
“Never.”
“Never ever?”
“Are you deaf?”
“Sorry, I’m just surprised. Why not?! Not even when you were in high school?”
“Well, I didn’t exactly give boys many signs I wanted to be asked in one.” She shrugged.
“Wow… I feel… Weird about this information?” He frowned. “So maybe we should focus on that, no? Like… How about we go on a fake date? I’ll try to find out what type of date Donghyuck usually goes and we mimic them, so it’ll be easier for you.”
“You’re the best, Bin.” Y/N pinched his arm, appreciating the effort.
“I know.”
A week later
A fucking amusement park.
Yeah, she probably should’ve seen it coming.
Not that she was upset by Donghyuck’s/Soobin’s choice… Maybe a first date wasn’t exactly supposed to be romantic at all, for people didn’t know if they’d click or not.
Everland was a good place, there were nice rides, sightseeing in a cute zoo and great food. Keeping it a secret from their friends, so they could come alone, both left home early – also planning to avoid the huge crowd for as long as possible, and to enjoy the day to the fullest.
As soon as they entered, Soobin suggested they bought a souvenir, so they could get into their couple persona. He chose a red panda hat, and she ended up with a normal panda one.
“What do you want to do first? See the animals, go for the rides or eat something?”
“We ate not an hour ago, Bin. Let’s see the animals, then we go for the best part.” She grinned. “I want to ride the Seater Human Sky for Zootopia. Can we?”
“Of course.” He searched for her hand, intertwining their fingers. “I’m sure Hyuck will touch you without hesitating, so I’m trying to behave like he probably will.” Not that he needed to explain himself, but he did anyway. “Let me buy these, and then we’re good to go.”
“Oh, alright.” Y/N gave him her hat. If he wanted to pay, she wouldn’t dodge out of politeness. This was a fake date, ok, but she should act like she would in a real one.
They visited all animals, spending almost the whole morning on it. Lots of pictures were taken, and although Y/N was used to talk a lot, she kept relatively quiet. Sometimes, they would look at each other and laugh, because it was funny to keep asking those first-base questions while already knowing the answers… And every time his dimples showed up or his huge hand touched her, she was reminded that it was her best friend there, not Donghyuck.
And, at some point, she messed up.
Maybe after they finished their tour in American Adventure and went for lunch… Or during the T-Express ride, for rollercoasters always lifted their spirits (and they were still high from the Rolling X-Train experience)… The way he was beaming with satisfaction made her stomach churn.
With the sunset colouring the skies, they left the park with an unsettling feeling.
The trip home was silent, with Soobin falling asleep as soon as the bus took off, and Y/N listening to her playlist, looking at the photos they took throughout the day and erasing those that were blurred or snapped by mistake. She sent one of Fu Bao to Yeonjun, knowing how much he loved the panda. Then, amidst cute animals, she found a video of Soobin’s side profile. He had his dimples on full display, and his… Cocky smile too?
Y/N could hear herself talking behind the camera, but she couldn’t make up the words, too startled by the realisation that he was really handsome. Closing the gallery app, she sighed and tried to get some rest too. There was no point in entertaining such thoughts.
Less than an hour later, they were walking back to their building. Soobin said he’d drop her off, like a gentleman would obviously do, and kept his hand on hers the whole two-blocks distance.
“Will you go up too?” She wondered.
“It’ll be too forward for a first date, won’t it?”
“Well, I don’t know? You do live here, after all.”
“But Donghyuck doesn’t.”
Donghyuck… Yeah, of course.
“Right.” She cleared her throat. “Then, goodbye. I had a lovely and funny time today.”
“I’m glad.” He smiled softly. “We should do it again.”
“I’d love that.” Y/N got on the tip of her feet. “Goodnight, Bin. I m-mean, Hyuck.” She kissed his cheek (more like his jawline) and almost ran towards the building entrance.
Pressing her floor number while trying to conceal her exaggerated and annoying heartbeat, any idea of peace vanished as Soobin’s tall frame occupied the other side of the elevator.
“I do live here, after all.” His voice was light, tinted with mirth.
There it was again, the slightly cocky, patronising smirk.
She looked at the ground, confused by her own reaction. They kept silent except for the usual ‘Goodbye’ when he arrived at his floor first.
Typing her password, Y/N entered her house feeling dizzy.
Something was wrong. Something was really wrong and she only had her celibacy to blame! Taking off her shoes, she sat down on the hall, ruffling her hair and groaning in exasperation. However, before she could give in to a tantrum, the doorbell rang. Confused, she opened it without checking. Her closest friends knew the password, but maybe…
Barely registering the black hair and known warmth, Y/N was pressed against the wall, Soobin towering over her, bringing her jaw up and smashing his mouth against hers.
Her body froze, mind going blank at the unexpected touch.
She remained unresponsive for a second or two, trying to overcome the initial shock. It was enough for him to back off, misunderstanding her lack of reaction. He was still a breath away, though, his nose bumping into hers as he looked her in the eyes.
“I’m sorry, I don-”
She cut the distance, kissing him again. Really doing it now.
Her arms circled around his neck, pulling him closer, moaning at the way his fingers tugged on her hair, tilting her face up. His tongue took advantage of her open mouth, slipping inside and starting its conquest. Y/N felt putty in his embrace, puzzled and consumed by the caress. She thought that those years of being romance-deprived would have turned her into an inexperienced girl once again, but it didn’t look like that.
She knew what to do, and her body seemed to understand it as well.
And even if she didn’t, it was clear Soobin did.
Shivering at the reminding of her kissing her best friend, something burned inside her. She felt bolder, nails scratching his nape and mingling with the soft strands of his hair. He groaned like a defeated warrior, pressing her harder between the wall and his body.
The whole fire made a known path, and Y/N snapped back into reality.
“Bin-?!” She pushed him away, gasping for air at the same time.
He looked at her through heavy lids, the light in the hall being enough to let her see his dark eyes gleaming with a mixture of emotions she also felt. Nevertheless, all that seemed to be swept aside when he blinked, a controlled and neutral expression taking over.
“Donghyuck would kiss you after the first date. I’m sure he would.”
And just like that, Soobin killed the spark.
The first contact after the events of the other night was awkward.
Upon feeling his hands on her, for their usual hug as a greeting, her voice cracked and her heart raced, the heat of embarrassment creeping up her spine. When their eyes met, her breath caught, remembering the way he looked at her seconds before shoving her right back in reality.
‘Donghyuck would kiss you after the first date. I’m sure he would.’
She was mad at herself for being mad at Soobin for saying that. Wasn’t finally being with Hyuck the sole purpose of all that?! Why was she a bit depressed he kissed her with that in mind?!
Was she so affection starved that she would start fantasising about Soobin now?
Pathetic.
“‘Seeing Fu Bao without my darling dearest to assert dominance.’” Yeonjun scoffed, showing her his phone – opened on her IG Story.
“She’s my rival, I had to.” Y/N shrugged. She had just posted one of Fu Bao’s videos from the date, because Soobin requested her to be more active on her social media. She’d added Hyuck on her Close Friends, hoping it would be a good hint of her true intentions.
“Your rival?” Yeonjun frowned.
“You love her a lot… It bothers me.”
“You love Soobin a lot and I don’t consider him my rival.”
“It’s different!”
“Why?”
“I don’t love him like I love you.” Y/N pouted.
“She’s so open about her favouritism.” Haena chuckled. “Sorry, Soobs.”
“I’ve been warned about this before, so I’m kinda numb to the pain.” Soobin jested. “It’s not nice losing to him, but I can manage being second.” He eyed Beomgyu. “At least I’m not third.”
“Well, I have a girlfriend and Y/N respects the fact my girlfriend is my favourite always!” Gyu retorted, a hand on his heart as if he felt offended. “And she can’t make me her favourite, either.”
“But you’re not the second, Bin!” Y/N pleaded, feeling her stomach sink a bit. “You’re…”
“Your best friend, Yeonjun’s your brother. Yeah, I know.” He commented, pouring himself some beer. “You told me that already.” On the day she asked him for that absurd favour… He was glad she seemed a bit ashamed of being biased, at least.
Y/N gulped, going quiet too soon. Normally, she’d argue, trying to make her point. Right now, though, she didn’t have the energy nor the facts to fight him.
Because things have changed.
More than ever, she was so painfully aware that what she felt for Yeonjun had nothing to do with what she felt for Soobin. She couldn’t even fathom doing more than some specific skinship with Yeonjun without feeling like committing incest… Whereas with Soobin, her mind entertained some different thoughts altogether – as outrageous as they should be.
It only took one kiss, and all the platonic, ‘academic research’ notion she had of Soobin crumbled.
She really believed she’d be immune to whatever happened between them, because Donghyuck was exactly what she wanted… However, she didn’t consider the impact of her celibacy. Y/N was painfully starved for attention and intimacy, and Soobin made her aware of that.
The sooner she got a grip of herself, the better.
That’s why she was there, pretending nothing had happened.
The second contact after the events of the other night was slightly better.
Soobin texted her saying he’d game with the boys, and asked if she wanted to join. Twenty minutes later, Y/N was lying on his bed, reading, while he played.
“What are we having for dinner?”
He looked over his shoulder. “I’ve no idea. What do you suggest?” He frowned. “No, not you. I’m talking to Y/N.” Soobin murmured to his headset. “Yeah, she’s here.”
Sitting on his bed, she stared at his computer screen as if he was on a videocall. “Who is it?”
“Hyuck says hi, Yeonjun is apologising for ignoring you on your chat.”
“I see.” She smiled. “Tell him I’m never talking to him again, and tell Hyuck I said hi back.”
“She’s not talking to you ever again, dude. And she said hi, Donghyuck.”
“Anyway, I’m thinking hot pot thoughts… Or sweet and sour pork.” Y/N suggested.
“Why not both?” He chuckled, listening to his friends on the call. “Yeonjun said you can’t spend more than thirty minutes ignoring him, so he’s not feeling exactly threatened.”
She sucked a breath, pretending to be offended. Crawling to the end of the bed, behind his chair, she turned him around and tugged at the headset, bringing the microphone closer to her mouth. “Is this a challenge, Yeonjun? Because I’d love to prove you wrong!”
“Wow, she said ‘Yeonjun’!” Beomgyu hollered, and she could hear his voice from his room.
“I’d feel pretty much threatened right now, bro.” Soobin stared at her, taking in the small distance between them. Their noses were centimetres away, breaths fanning over each other. His eyelids dropped as he tilted his head just a bit, unconsciously giving into her magnetic field.
As if electrified, Y/N stepped back. “B-both, then.” She cleared her throat. “Gonna order it.”
The third time, she met him at the entrance hall, after coming back from the gym. He was getting out of the lift and she was entering it – they collided, her sweaty head bumping into his chest.
“Fuck, sorry.” Y/N petted the moist spot, as if it’d disappear.
“Morning.” He smiled. “It’s ok, it’ll dry in no time.”
“Are you going to work?”
“Nah, going to grab something for breakfast… Wanna join me?”
Y/N wanted to melt on the floor, glad for the atmosphere between them not being awkward anymore. “Of course, if you don’t mind the stink.”
“I don’t.” He took her hand. “Morning.”
It was her time to grin, intertwining their fingers. “Morning, Binbin.”
The first tray of brownies was just out of the oven when Beomgyu walked into the kitchen.
“Am I going to have to eat all of it?” He pointed at the hot tray.
“Uh… No?”
“Why are you freaking out?”
“I’m not freaking out.”
“Dude, it’s been a week since you went back on your cooking therapy.”
Yeah, and it’d been a little over a week since he kissed Y/N.
It’d been over a week since they seemed to go back and forth on walking in eggshells. And he knew she was having some kind of mental breakdown due to that, ‘cause was he too.
Not that kissing her wasn’t riveting. It had been a while since he kissed a girl, and his body just reacted to that. He was intrigued by his own response. However, he was already regretting giving in to her schemes… Because he could foresee the imminent rupture in their friendship, could taste the awkwardness that was settling between them.
And yeah, maybe Beomgyu was right – he was freaking out.
He was panicking at the mere thought of losing his best friend.
“I just enjoy cooking, what is wrong with that?” Soobin knew he sounded defensive, but he wasn’t able to come up with a better rebut.
“Ok, keep telling yourself that.” Beomgyu rolled his eyes. “Is Y/N coming down? ‘Cause I’m coming up, Mimi and I will go to the arcade tonight.”
“Why would she come down?”
“Well, aren’t you guys working on getting her into Hyuck’s pants?”
Soobin froze. “What the f…”
“You really thought you two could keep this a secret from everyone?”
“N-no, but… You could use nicer words.”
Beomgyu tilted his head, pouting. “Aren’t you guys trying to turn her into a Sex Goddess?”
“Oh God, why do I even bother?!” Soobin shook his head, glaring at the ceiling for a brief second.
“I don’t know, either.” He chuckled. “Is she coming or not?”
“No.”
“Give her a piece, at least. I’m gonna get fat at this rate!” Turning around, he waved. “See ya. I’ll probably sleep upstairs, so don’t wait for me.”
Sighing, Soobin waved back. “Alright; have fun. Bye!”
He stared at the oven for a solid minute, contemplating what to do.
Whenever he had an opportunity, he’d mention Y/N to Hyuck. Things like how funny and pretty she was, something cute she did, a tender memory he had of her… And all those times, Hyuck listened with regard. But what use would that be if she still felt insecure?! That’s why he got a grip of himself and opened their chat – they should have another lesson.
[18:43] soobin: r u busy?
Almost a minute later, she replied.
[18:44] y/n: no… why?
[18:44] soobin: i baked two trays of brownie 🥺
[18:44] y/n: choi soobin
u r literally the best thing that has ever happened to me!!!!!
see u in a second
[18:45] soobin: 😋
It was pathetic that she took some time to get ready. Normally, Y/N wouldn’t even bother changing her clothes… However, she decided to drop her old and comfy nightgown for her brand-new pyjama set, an emerald-green satin shorts and button-down shirt. It was one of her favourite colours and Soobin used to say it looked really good on her.
Cringing at the perspective of fishing for compliments, Y/N pinched her cheeks and cleared her throat, walking out of the elevator as if each step didn’t make her confused mind a bigger chaos. Typing the password, she was greeted by the delicious smell of brownies. Heading to the kitchen, she took a second to prepare herself to face him again.
“Binbin?”
He turned around from the sink, opening one of his marvellous smiles. “Hi there.”
“So… Am I getting a whole tray for myself, or will I have to share with Beomgyu?”
“A whole tray for yourself… If you help me out here.” Soobin chuckled.
“Maybe sharing isn’t that bad?” She jested. “It keeps me humble.”
“Humbleness doesn’t suit you, Y/N. You’re made to look down on us, mere mortals.”
“That’s so sweet of you.” She pretended to dry her eyes, grabbing the kitchen towel.
“The only person you think is actually above yourself is Yeonjun, and don’t even try to tell me I’m wrong.” He nudged her with his elbow. “I know you better than I know myself.”
Y/N felt her stomach dropping.
Did he?
Was it possible he knew that whenever those dimples came out, she felt… The impulse again?
And because she was so confused with her own reactions, she decided to bring up the safer topic.
“Donghyuck asked me about the leather workshop class we took, he said he liked your wallet and you told him we went there and did it together.”
“I’m trying to bring you up in any opportunity I get.” Soobin agreed. “And what else happened?”
“Nothing much, we chatted a bit about it and then he said he’d try to book a class.” She sighed. “He didn’t ask for my number, Bin. It was the perfect excuse for it! Or he could’ve just said ‘Do you want to join me on it, again?’” She pouted. “I couldn’t find him on Tinder either!”
“I know it’s frustrating, but… Maybe we’re approaching this the wrong way?!” Finishing washing the last dirty dish, Soobin looked at her. “We need a party.” He declared. “Hyuck likes them, and if he sees you in a different light, with a different mood altogether, I’m sure he’ll get hooked.” By the way she hesitated, he knew exactly what was going on. “You’re insecure about it, aren’t you?”
“What if I mess it up?”
“That’s why I’m here, isn’t it?”
Y/N stared at him, conflicted between playing it cool or being honest. They were best friends, for fuck sakes! She trusted him and he trusted her back – and getting him to help her was their main purpose, as he had pointed out.
“What do you have in mind, then?” She sounded so vulnerable Soobin’s heart melted.
But before he could say anything else, he needed to get some things straight. He wouldn’t survive going another week with that weird and distant vibe between them. This next lesson would be different from any other, and he needed to know she was ready to go through it.
That their friendship was ready to take the blow and don’t die from it.
“What did you feel when I kissed you?”
She froze. “I beg your pardon?”
“That day when we went on a date… When I kissed you like Donghyuck would, what did you feel after?” His eyes searched for hers, but she shied away, staring at the towel on her hand.
“I… Well… I noticed that I’m really desperate.” Y/N cleared her throat, hating the way she felt so small and embarrassed at her own neediness.
“Desperate for what?”
“Intimacy. Anything a man can give me.” The words came out rushed. “And it’s so annoying.”
He frowned at her confession. He expected her to say something along the lines like ‘desperate for Donghyuck’, but she didn’t. “Why is it annoying, though? It’s normal to want to be wanted.”
“Yes, I know, but… I feel like I missed my timing. It’s weird to never have dated at my age; and what if Donghyuck thinks there’s something wrong with me?!”
“Only stupid men think stuff like these, Y/N. Normal and nice boys know everyone has their own time to blossom and don’t rush nor judge others.”
She looked up, finding him already staring at her. His soft boba eyes shone with tenderness and resolve, as if what he said was the absolutely truth.
“You’re really a different brand of man, Choi Soobin.” She gave him a small smile. “And really one of the best things that has ever happened to me.”
“You flatter me.” He chuckled. “But I asked that because I think the best way for you to feel more confident is knowing that you can entice even when being ‘inexperienced’. ‘Cause, honestly, I didn’t even remember you hadn’t kissed a man in ages when we were kissing.” He confessed. “It just downed me later on, because things were awkward between us, and I got pissed off that we let it come to that and you didn’t tell me how you felt. I don’t like us distant.”
“Me neither.” She sighed.
“So let’s promise we won’t be like that again, or else I can’t help you.”
Y/N bit her lip, hesitating again. “But what if I can’t…”
“Then we’ll end everything.” He cut her off. “I don’t read minds, Y/N. If you don’t tell me what’s bothering you, how can I be of help?!”
“Alright. I’ll try.”
“No, darling, you’ll do it.” He shook his head. “I’m not letting our friendship on thin ice anymore.”
“Oh, ok, Bin! I’ll do it.” Rolling her eyes, she stuck her pinkie up.
“Good girl.” Their fingers touched. “So no more awkwardness no matter what we do.”
“And if one feels uneasy, we got to be vocal about it.”
His eyes darkened slightly, wondering (without his own permission) about what else Y/N would be vocal about. Clearing his throat, he pointed to the brownies. “Fancy some before we move on?”
“Yeah, it’ll be good to ease me up.”
“I wanted to put caramel in, but you complained about eating too much candy recently and I know how you love caramel, so I decided to make it plain, so you won’t feel sad if you don’t eat much.”
She smiled, touched by the gesture. “Thanks.”
“Here, take a bite.” He offered a piece.
It wasn’t something unusual, they normally did this… However, this time her eyes spent a little longer analysing his hand – the pretty and veiny forearm, how the brownie looked so small compared to his palm, how close his fingertips were from her mouth… And suddenly, she could see herself in one of those luxury porn movies, where any minor action was made to entice – so, instead of taking a bite, she’d lick on his digits, sucking them as if…
Y/N almost stuffed the whole piece in her mouth, hoping its taste would erase such confusing and horrible thoughts. God, what she needed was professional help!
Soobin had a fond smile, always glad that she liked his food. “Easy there, love. You’ll get a whole batch for yourself.” Some crumbles stuck to her face, gathering on her lower lip and at the side of her mouth while she chewed. “Do you like it that much?! You got dirt all over.”
Y/N remained quiet while he dusted the crumbles off. She felt like melting under his touch and gaze, goosebumps blooming from her spine to her head. The brownie tasted good, obviously, but the sensations didn’t come from its flavour or perfectly gooey texture… Out of habit, he licked the tip of his fingers clean, and that’s when she noticed she’d been too silent.
“Sorry, you know I like sweets.”
“It’s ok. Having you acting like this strokes my ego.” The dimples showed up again as he grinned.
Her heart thumped heavily against her chest, and whatever sane thoughts she had, slipped off her mind when she got on her tiptoes and ended the distance between them.
She kissed him.
She was still kissing him.
And when his arm circled her waist, pulling her up against the kitchen counter, she wished she’d never stop kissing him at all. The hand on her face slid to her nape, fingers threading in her hair and tugging it slightly, pushing her chin up so they could change the angle. As they got closer, his hips came in between her legs, the arm around her waist slipped a bit under her pyjama shirt, and the feeling of his skin against hers was overwhelming.
It was also embarrassing, honestly.
They were still dressed, but she felt so warm, so desperate for more contact, more action…
Then, as if reading her mind, Soobin bit her lower lip while pressing his crotch against hers. That earned him a bittersweet response: she froze, hands gripping his shoulders and eyes widening.
“What happened?” He asked, mouth still on her.
“I-If we keep… We shouldn’t be doing this.”
“But isn’t stuff like this the reason you need my help?”
He was right, of course.
“I’m not sure how to… What should I…?”
“Maybe you could circle me with your legs?” He suggested. “If I was Donghyuck, what would do?”
She gulped, musing. “I��d probably jump his bones.”
“Then jump mine.” He stated. “Pretend I’m him.”
Her eyes clouded, conflicted between obeying or trying to resist. “Here? At the kitchen?”
“We’re alone, relax.” At her intake of breath, he chuckled. “Try to, at least.”
“But won’t it be too uncomfortable?”
His grin grew bigger. “Y/N, you think too much.” He pecked her lips. “Stop thinking, just… Just feel.” His mouth touched her jawline, and she immediately closed her eyes. Soobin nibbled on her skin, leaving love bites on the column of her neck. It was impulsive, not really him wanting to mark his territory, but just… Him reacting to the moment. He quietly undid some buttons of her shirt, but before pushing it off, he needed to know if it was still ok. “Are you ok?”
Y/N was half in heaven, half in hell. “Yes… It’s so warm in here, isn’t it?”
“So can I take this off?” He touched the last button.
“Yes.” Their eyes met, and she hoped he could see the trust in hers.
Tossing the satin on the floor, Soobin’s attention flew to her chest. She was wearing one of her cotton bras, black and plain, but somehow… “You look so pretty in green, but now I realise you look better in black.” He murmured, kissing her cleavage. Her head fell back, a sharp breath that sounded more like a strangled moan coming out of her mouth. Her legs tightened around his body, silently telling him he was doing it right. “Shall I take this off too?” He traced the straps.
“Please.”
It’s been ages since a man had seen her naked, but somehow, the fact that it was Soobin put her at ease. Yes, she might’ve been feeling insecure, however, as they kissed, her neediness surpassed every other emotion… And it was Soobin, for fuck sakes! He was her best friend!
He unfastened her bra and let it loose. Discarding it too, he noticed his mouth watered a bit at the sight of her perk nipples – it was only natural that his big hands groped her boobs, slender and skilled fingers pinching the skin before he dipped his head down, taking one in his mouth.
The moan came out loud and clear, Y/N’s body jolting forward at the sensation. She felt his wet tongue around the beak, licking and sucking on it, his warm touch engulfing her from her waist to her ribs, then to her shoulders, fingertips burning figures everywhere they reached. And it was too much. Pulling at his hair, she brought their lips together once again, needing him, desperate for him. Her hips pressed strongly against his, humping him.
“Bin,” The nickname rolled out with ease, despite the fact she was supposed to imagine Donghyuck there. “Bin, I need more.” Her voice was muffled by open-mouthed kisses. “Please. More.”
And because he was such a gentleman, he couldn’t say no.
He actually didn’t want to.
“More of what? You gotta use your words, love. I want to help you, but I don’t know how.” He lied, touching her boobs again, loving how they felt under his palms.
“Fuck.” She kissed his jawline, legs so tight around his hips that he couldn’t escape her grip. “If we keep doing this, I’ll probably cum.” She tried to reason.
“Do you want to?”
“Desperately.”
His smirk was out of this world. He had that easy, roguish kind of smile, and Y/N felt her insides twirling at the sight. “How?” Although he was supposed to guide her in this, he wanted so bad to hear her desires. Soobin was sure he’d do anything she wanted as long as she kept that flushed expression and cute moans coming out. “Tell me how.” It was almost a plea.
“I-I’m not…” Well, he really was there to help her, so she shouldn’t be ashamed of asking for what she wanted. “I need your fingers.”
His breath hitched slightly, ears buzzing with every word echoing in his mind.
“My fingers? Where, love?” He knew he wasn’t pushing her too far. If she only could step outside her comfort zone a centimetre more…
And when she reached for him, taking one of his hands and sliding it down her belly towards her pussy, Soobin hoped he wouldn’t forget a second of that dizzy, surprising night.
“Here.” Her voice was breathy, laced with wanton and shyness. “Inside me.”
Oh, fuck.
Kissing her again, he rubbed her thighs, prying them open and unlocking them off his waist. He kept his touch pretty close to her crotch, but never coming too close to where she wanted.
“I’ll take off your shorts now, ok?”
She shivered slightly while he rolled the green satin off her hips. When the fabric was discarded, he analysed her, taking in every inch of exposed skin, and Soobin licked his lips, anticipating.
“No panties?”
“I only use them with pyjamas when I’m on my period.” She confessed.
His eyes widened, realisation kicking in. “So whenever we slept together, you were…”
“Pantie-less.” She agreed, blush intensifying.
“Fuck, Y/N.” He groaned, dick twitching at the thought. “So cheeky.”
“It’s healthy to let it breath!” She pouted, defensive.
“I’m not judging, though.” Soobin stole a peck. “I’m just surprised because I didn’t know.”
“Well, now you do.”
“Now I do, yeah.”
Their eyes met, and he couldn’t describe what he saw in hers. However, it was enough to make him react hungrily, latching his mouth on hers once more, a hand slipping between their bodies, resting right on her pretty cunt. She moaned into the kiss as soon as his fingers caressed her, pads gathering some slick before finding purchase on her clit.
It was rather embarrassing, but just the feeling of him there was enough to make her cum.
She felt so overwhelmed and horny she was sure if she stood up, a puddle would be where she sat, but the way Soobin worked her up was so good, she couldn’t help herself. And it’d been so long…
It was impossible to keep her focus, the pleasure so foreign and delicious – thus, she just rested her forehead against his, locking their eyes and basking in those amazing sensations. His hand drove slightly down again, coating in her wetness before plugging a finger inside her without warning. Her breath hitched, lips parting for a whiny moan to escape. His brown orbs, once gentle and patient, now ogled her with hunger and desire. He moved, testing the speed until he got a loud sob from her, hips bucking slightly as he drove in and off.
“Fuck.” She whispered when he quickly pushed a second digit inside her.
“Tell me how you like it,” Soobin ordered. “how to make you cum.”
“Anything,” Y/N closed her eyes, wondering if it would be ultimate humiliation if she drooled any time soon. “anything you do, I’m sure I’ll like it.”
“You’ve got no idea of what I…” He stopped, deciding she wasn’t ready for those words yet.
She gulped as he picked his pace. “Fuck, this feels so good!”
“Look at me.” His dominating aura was new to her.
She stared at those chestnut pools, darkened with a pinch of wildness, curiosity and lust. She’d never seen him like that, demanding, serious but at ease with himself, full of confidence and… So fucking hot. There was also the situation they were in, the unexpectedness of enjoying his touch, the thrill of doing something they probably shouldn’t be doing, the happiness of finally having a man’s attention for her own – she couldn’t control herself, clenching around his fingers.
“Shit,” Y/N threw her head backwards, back arching. “I’m gonna cum?”
“Is this a question?” He chuckled, amused.
“I’m not sure?” Her brows furrowed. “I’m almost…” He inserted a third digit. “There.”
“Already?” His dimples accompanied his smirk, and her heart beat faster. “So desperate, Y/N. You look gorgeous like this.” He cooed. “Keep looking at me and cum, then.”
Obeying was easy. Y/N was so out of herself with wanton it didn’t take more than a minute for her to explode around his fingers, moaning quietly and leaving small scratches on his nape and shoulders. Soobin peppered her neck with love bites while she rode her high, relishing the way she shook on his arms and snugged him close.
She tugged at his hair after calming down, pushing his chin up and getting nose to nose. It could be the post-orgasm haze, but she had the urge to say some crazy and cheesy things. Instead, she bit her lips, wondering what she should do next.
“Do I… S-should… Can I… Can I suck you off?”
And because she sounded vulnerable, he pushed past his own needs and tried to make her feel safe again. “I don’t know. Can you?” His eyes shone with mirth, the joke outdated and a bit annoying.
Her mouth tugged in a small smile. “May I?”
He wanted nothing more, but it seemed too much for her in one day, so he shook his head. “No, love. I think it’s best we go slow.”
“W-wait, why?!” She looked disappointed. “Don’t you… Want me to?”
“I do, love, I really do. But this is not about me.” He sighed. “This is about showing you that you can seduce any guy you want, doesn’t matter if you think yourself unexperienced or not… And judging by my pants now, I’m sure we can say you passed the lesson.”
Mentioning his pants wasn’t his best idea, because her eyes fell to his sweatpants and lingered there, glossy, hungry. He felt something clench around him and realised his fingers were still inside her. Blushing a bit, Soobin took them off, musing if it would be too extreme to lick them. However, he was trying to avoid getting hornier, so maybe…
Before he could react, the oven beeped, warning them that the last tray of brownies was done.
If one year early someone told her she’d dream about her best friend’s dick, Y/N would die of laughter. Now, sweaty and frustrated, she woke up for the second time in two days ten minutes before her alarm set off… Thanks to a wet dream.
With Choi Soobin.
It was upsetting, really. She couldn’t stop thinking about it – couldn’t stop wishing he had let her help him too. Because his kisses and his fingers had made her feel so good, so it was only natural to want to return the kindness… Although, a tiny bit of her was thankful he set boundaries, for she wasn’t sure she could handle what would’ve happened. The way he said she left him with a hard on was enough to make her mouth dry, heart skipping a beat in some sort of… Elation. She felt proud, desired… Feminine. And it had been ages since she last felt such emotions.
It was dangerous.
Choi Soobin was dangerous, and she should thread him carefully.
She went to the gym, wasting her energy on the weights and cardio. Maybe if she got too tired, her body would finally let go of that ridiculous desperation towards her best friend. The mere thought of having his hands on her again, of having her hands on him too… She almost tripped on her feet while leaving the gym. Chuckling at her own embarrassment, she started walking back home.
Then, her phone chimed with a notification.
Breathing slowly, Y/N unblocked it.
[08:12] 🖤 💓 darling dearest 💓 🖤: good morning, darling
wanna grab breakfast?
im near ur house
[o8:12] y/n: good morning, my better half
i literally just left the gym dskflfksdkljsd
and im FAMISHED
as always, u read my mind
[08:12] 🖤 💓 darling dearest 💓 🖤: meet u at that bakery around the corner?
[o8:12] y/n: sureeee
With a satisfied smile, she was glad for finally spending quality time with Yeonjun. Since the whole ‘Trying to date Donghyuck’ thing, Y/N kind of prioritised Soobin’s company…
Now, she had a chance to be herself again.
The bakery they usually went when Yeonjun was with her was quite empty when she arrived. Getting a table near the big windows, she discarded her jacked and sat down, relaxing. Checking her e-mails, she quickly answered two urgent ones – which meant she could come to work a bit late, ‘cause her online meeting at 10am was cancelled.
Soon, arms circled her neck and she heard the smack on the top of her head.
“Hello, darling.”
“Hello, dearest.” Y/N grinned. “Don’t kiss me when I’m sweaty, it’s gross!”
“I don’t mind it.” He chuckled, sitting in front of her. “Did you order something already?”
“Nah, I was waiting for you. What do you want?”
“Hmm… Coffee and something sweet. You?”
“Tea and something sweet.” She winked. “I’ll need scrambled eggs, though.”
“Milk tea?”
“You know me too well.”
However, instead of smiling back at her, Yeonjun frowned. “What’s this?” He pointed to the side of her neck, then down her collarbones that showed up a bit on her gym clothes.
“What?” Y/N tried to see what grabbed his attention.
“Is… It’s a fucking hickey?!” His mouth opened in pure shock, then stretched in a wide smirk. “Well, darling, you’re keeping secrets now?”
“N-no! It’s not like that!” She shushed him, flushing. “This is nothing.”
“Oh, really? Because all these years we’ve known each other, it’s the first time I’ve seen you with a hickey, so pardon me for not eating up your bullshit.” He rolled his eyes. “Soobin told me already.”
“Of course he did.” Y/N gritted her teeth.
“I mean, everyone kinda know there’s something going on. You guys aren’t exactly subtle.” Yeonjun chuckled, moving over the table to pinch her cheek. “Cuties.”
“There’s nothing going on! He’s just helping me out with…” Under his soft gaze, she hesitated.
“Is it still that excuse?”
God, she loved Yeonjun with all her heart, but sometimes… Sometimes he just really pissed her off. It was a rare occurrence, but when it happened, Y/N wanted to punch him right in the face.
“What excuse? He’s really helping me with Donghyuck.”
“I see.”
“You don’t believe me.” She pouted.
“I literally said ‘I see’!”
“You used your condescending tone.”
“It’s just because I don’t understand how him giving you hickies is gonna help with Hyuck, but don’t mind me.” He raised his hands in surrender. “So, how’s the conquest going?”
“Uh… Good. I mean, kinda good. We’re gonna try a new approach in a different ambient.” She sighed, not sure if she could voice out what happened two nights ago. “In a party, to be precise.”
“Oh, and why’s that? No, wait, let me order our food and you tell me everything.”
She smiled tenderly at him, the annoyance vanishing quickly. “I love you, you know that, right?”
“I do.” He chuckled, standing up. “As you should.”
“Prick.”
“I love you too, my favourite drama queen.”
“Milk tea and the fudgiest chocolate muffin, please. Don’t forget the scrambled eggs!”
“Noted. I’ll be back in a second.”
Y/N stared at the street, trying not to let Yeonjun’s words worsen her confusion.
Working as a translator gave Y/N the advantage of flexible hours and working from home. What once felt like a benefit, now didn’t. She went about half a chapter before giving up. There was no use, her head just wouldn’t focus enough.
Opening the group chat with only her girl friends, she invited everyone for dinner. She needed some time away from Soobin, and needed some purely feminine company.
It was past eight when Felicia arrived. She was the last one, so they could finally declare that the night officially started – good wine, a huge charcuterie board, cheese and chocolate fondue… And…
Well, Soobin’s brownies.
Y/N made sure not to linger on that thought, not to let the memory of how she got them cloud her senses (again), because it went against the mood she had planned for the night.
And it would’ve worked if said boy could read her mind. Unfortunately, he couldn’t – for her phone vibrated and indicated a text message from him.
[21:12] binbin🐰: so u had breakfast with yeonjun…….
AND invited the girls over WITHOUT us
(gyu and i)
[21:12] y/n: yeah, i did. why?
[21:12] binbin🐰: why do u hate me? 🥺
(us*, gyu is also pouty)
[21:12] y/n: where does this come from????
r u unwell?????
[21:12] binbin🐰: u havent talked to me the whole day
cant i miss my best friend?
[21:12] y/n: ofc u can
but u r never clingy
so i got concerned
[21:12] binbin🐰: well, im clingy now
[21:13] y/n: oh
[21:13] binbin🐰: yeah
[21:13] y/n: id invite u but tonight’s strictly girls night
[21:13] binbin🐰: come over later
[21:13] y/n: cant
[21:13] binbin🐰: 😨
why??????
[21:13] y/n: idk when they’ll leave
[21:13] binbin🐰: idc
come anyway
She blocked her phone, feeling her stomach tightening.
“Well, that’s… Sweet, I guess?” Mimi murmured, staring at her.
“Were you reading everything?!”
“I couldn’t help but read.”
Y/N opened her mouth, torn between being offended or asking Mimi what ‘sweet’ actually meant. Obviously, seeing Soobin that night wasn’t a smart move.
“So, how’s the ‘Donghyuck’s Annihilation’ going?” Felicia questioned, bringing her back to reality.
“What kind of title is this?” She giggled.
“It’s more dramatic, which suits you.” Fel shrugged. “So…?”
“How’s ‘Soobin’s classes’ going, you mean.” Haena quipped.
“I’ll let you know Donghyuck and I sometimes talk to each other through DM’s, and I’ve been more comfortable around him, so it’s going pretty well.” Y/N cleared her throat, feigning indifference.
“Oh, that’s nice.” Felicia smiled. “Feeling comfortable around him is important.”
“Soobin thinks we should meet at a party, ‘cause the change of atmosphere might be good and might make Hyuck look at me differently.”
“Hmm… Makes sense.” Haena agreed. “But what about your shyness? Would you be ok with kissing him and even sleeping together?”
A quick flashback of what happened at Soobin’s kitchen made Y/N blush, but she played it cool. “Yeah, I think I’d be fine. Maybe I’d pass out from nervousness, but I wouldn’t hesitate.”
Haena stared at her for a second or two, sipping her wine. “Then I’m glad you decided not to listen to us and pursue your crazy plan with Soobin’s help.”
“Can we stop talking about this? Yeonjun also interrogated me today and I really wanted to have a night-off.” Y/N pouted. “Why don’t you girls talk about your love lives, for a change?”
“The biggest change here is you getting out of your shell, but ok.” Felicia pointed out, grinning.
“Ya’ll not ready for my girlfriend era.” She chuckled.
Matter of fact, Y/N wasn’t exactly ready for that herself.
Around midnight, she finally laid down, skincare routine done and warm bedsheets. Plugging her phone on the charger, she sighed and opened her chats. It was a new day, so she didn’t need to pretend not to think about Soobin and Donghyuck again.
[00:09] y/n: asleep?
It took her some minutes to get a reply.
[00:12] binbin🐰: im not talking to u
[00:12] y/n: why’s that?
[00:12] binbin🐰: u didnt come
[00:12] y/n: the girls left and i had to clean up the mess
[00:12] binbin🐰: u can come now then 😤
She pondered for a second, but the alcohol made her reckless – or she wanted to believe so.
[00:12] y/n: can i, sir?
how?
Soobin typed and erased a few times before replying.
[00:14] binbin🐰: ???
what the fuck do u mean
r we talking abt the same thing???
[00:14] y/n: probably not
[00:14] binbin🐰: im talking abt u coming downstairs
[00:14] y/n: im talking abt what happened the other night
Another pause.
[00:16] binbin🐰: y/n
[00:16] y/n: soobin
[00:16] binbin🐰: lets keep this convo PG
[00:16] y/n: i dont want to
[00:16] binbin🐰: why not?
[00:16] y/n: ‘cause im slightly tipsy and super frustrated and angry
u didnt let me suck u off and now im one step behind
what if hyuck wants me to suck him off?????
[00:16] binbin🐰: then u suck him off
[00:16] y/n: what if im not good at it?
[00:16] binbin🐰: bullshit
[00:16] y/n: how do u know
[00:17] binbin🐰: i just do
[00:17] y/n: how
[00:17] binbin🐰: u gonna have to trust me in this
[00:17] y/n: nope 😌
[00:17] binbin🐰: would i ever lie to u? no
so stop worrying and go to sleep
[00:17] y/n: im not worrying
im frustrated and angry
ill spend the whole night watching blowjob videos and taking tips
bc u didnt help me like u promised!!!!!
She was sure she crossed a line that wasn’t supposed to be crossed, but it was too late.
[00:18] binbin🐰: stop being a brat for once in ur life
i mean it
[00:18] y/n: 😌 nope 😌
The vibration caught her by surprise. ‘Binbin’ lighted up her screen like some kind of hypnosis.
“Don’t.” His voice cut the silence.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t watch porn, it’s not helpful at all.”
“It might be more helpful than you at the moment.”
He sucked in a breath the same way he did whenever Beomgyu got on his nerves. “How much did you drink? You’re not easily intoxicated, so stop with the attitude.”
“I drank enough to be bold and ask for it… Again.”
There was a tiny silence, then a sigh. “Tomorrow. When you’re fully sober.”
Tomorrow, it was.
When Y/N entered Soobin’s apartment the next night, she brought hot chocolate for them. An apology gift, if she was being honest, for bothering him with her needy rampage. Not that the ashamed feeling was enough to keep her dirty mind at bay.
Nonetheless, it was easier to pretend she was there to learn how to play Overwatch than to learn how to suck dick. Donghyuck wasn’t a League of Legends guy like Soobin, however, Y/N had no interest neither in one game nor the other – she only needed to know the basics so she could try to strike conversation and maybe actually join them in one of their gaming meetings.
Sitting at the chair beside his one, she listened to him explain about the history and purpose of the game. It was always endearing to witness how talkative he became whenever he talked about the things he liked, and so she couldn’t help but fondly let him go on with the monologue.
Some time later, they started playing, but Soobin was too close, his long fingers typing the controls with ease while his attention was glued to the screen. Y/N told herself she was only looking at his hand because it was necessary. She didn’t have any other thoughts on her mind but learning the commands. She didn’t care how good those slender fingers felt inside her.
She couldn’t possibly care less that they curled just right and reached her spot with as much ease as they typed the keyboard. She obviously didn’t mind the fact they weren’t inside her right now.
“Stop! You’re trying to distract me!” Y/N groaned.
“I’m literally playing for you.” He quipped. “How is this…”
“You keep moving in a quick pace, knowing I get distracted easily. I can’t focus!”
Soobin frowned, trying to understand her mood swing. “It’s not my fault we have to be fast!”
“Still.” She pouted, chin up.
In those days following their new agreement, Soobin learnt something about Y/n: she had quite a temper when horny – as if it offended her that she felt any type of emotion, something similar to the way she behaved whenever she was fighting back tears.
And her flushed cheeks could also mean anger, of course. It would make sense. However, her glossy eyes and dry mouth had nothing to do with anger.
How could he be so sure?
Because he felt as restless as her. The moment she showed up in a black satin pyjama set, he realised his mistake. Now he knew that she was pantie-less, and now he also knew what she looked like without any piece of clothing on.
And now he wanted to see her again.
“Why are you so antsy?”
“I’m not!” Her pout grew bigger and he couldn’t help but grin. “Why are you smiling?”
“You’re cute.” He chuckled. “Come, try it instead.” Putting his hands over hers, he guided the mouse through her. “Press this for shooting.” He indicated once again, moving his finger over hers. “Like this. Good.” His voice dropped an octave. “Focus, love.”
He felt the shivers on her skin, and desire shot through him too.
“H-How do I enter there?” Y/N gulped as he pushed some hair off her shoulder.
“Use the mouse.” But instead of moving with her, he let go, lightly tracing her arm from the wrist to her elbow. “Atta girl.”
Fuck.
Any resolve of focusing vanished after those two words. Y/N felt her stomach tightening, heart picking up a beat. “What now?”
The proximity was tempting, and Soobin found himself giving in.
“While gaming… Things can get freaky.” His voice was low and raspy, enticing. “And people can get creative, you know? Maybe cockwarming, just to spice things up. Or a blowjob…”
Was it supposed to make her mouth water like that?
“Would you ask me to?”
Soobin held the impulse of correcting her, of reminding her this wasn’t about him, but Donghyuck. However, since he was the teacher, he told himself it made sense. “Do you want me to?”
Her chest rose with a deep intake of breath, as she tried to find her own voice. “Yes.” His lips found the column of her neck, leaving love bites all over. Y/N moaned, tightening her hold on the mouse. “Bin, I can’t concentrate.”
“Shall we move it to the bed?”
She didn’t need to be told twice. Leaping from her chair, she found some comfort in the mattress. Soobin chuckled, closing the game and following her. Matching her eagerness, he kissed her in an urgent pace, trying to placate whatever hunger grew within him recently – whenever he had his hands on Y/N, to be more precise.
It didn’t take much for their bodies to intertwine. Hips against hips, they moved in synch, chasing some kind of relief. Touching her under the pyjama shirt, he scratched from her lower back to her waist, then rested on her boobs, cupping them.
His touches and the friction made her belly tug, her panting growing more erratic by each second. “Bin, Bin, wait. Wait.” She tried to stop, but her body had a life of its own. “I shouldn’t…”
“What?” Pinching a nipple, he relished on her breathy moan.
“Oh, please, don’t.” Her hands came to his shoulders, ready to push him off, but instead they just clawed against his t-shirt. “I’m supposed to be giving you a blowjob, not humping you like a needy teenage girl.” But it was so good. So, so good. “I can’t come now.”
“What if I want you to?”
Yes. “No, please.” Y/N groaned, the words escaping without control. “If I don’t have your dick in my mouth any time soon, I might honestly go berserk.”
“That bad?” He couldn’t help but chuckle, a small smirk gracing his face.
“That bad.” She agreed. “You don’t understand, I thought about it since…” Well, fuck, she was already in too deep, so she better make the best of it. “Ever since the kitchen episode.”
God, she made it hard for him to resist. “Really?”
“I even had wet dreams about it.” Y/N stole a peck. “Twice.” Another one. “So, you see, this is quite serious. I’ve been frustrated and horny… And now I’m so wet and bothered I might cry if I don’t get to suck you in less than two minutes!” She wasn’t lying, for her eyes turned glossy.
Donghyuck was going to be a fucking lucky bastard.
“Hey, no.” He held her cheek tenderly, pecking her lips too. “No need to cry, I’ll give it to you.”
“Now?”
“Now.” Soobin stole one last kiss. “On your knees for me, love.”
Y/N admitted she never loved such words as much as she did then.
Getting between his legs, she pushed his t-shirt up until his belly button. The outline of his underwear showed, and her mouth watered. Leaning down, she peppered feather kisses on the skin above it, feeling his abs hardening. It made a rush of power and satisfaction wash through her, elated for getting him that way. Tugging at the hem of his trousers, she pushed them down, bringing the underwear too – and she gulped at the sight.
Well…
Oh.
Well, God help her, for that man was handsome in every angle.
His dick sprung free, big, rosy, hard and veiny. And she didn’t waste any more time, welcoming him inside with a smooth, swift move.
Full on her mouth, heavy on her tongue, salty on her taste buds, Choi Soobin was perfect. Y/N wasn’t sure what made her wetter: finally sucking him off, or the way his head was bent backwards, throat exposed as his Adam’s apple bobbed with the moan he let out.
“Fuck, love, it’s so warm.” He rasped. “I’ll tug at your hair now, ok? So I can set a pace. Or do you want to do this alone?” He looked down and she shrugged, quite unsure of what to choose. “Let’s do it together, then. I want you to feel comfortable too.” Threading his fingers on her hair, Soobin pushed her head down a bit. “Open up a bit more, love, let me go deeper.” She obeyed. “Like that, yeah.” He closed his eyes for a second, relishing on the feeling. “Are you alright?” Y/N tried to answer, a muffled ‘mhm’ coming out instead of a ‘yes’. “Good. Do you think you can handle a bit of gagging? If I thrust and it hits your throat, will it be ok?”
He was so gentle with her, it was really sweet… But Y/N didn’t mind roughness. Replacing her lips with her hands, she swallowed a bit of drool. “We can try.”
“Tap my thighs if you feel any discomfort.”
“Don’t mind me, just let me make you cum.”
She lazily sucked his tip, jerking him off as she pondered the best way to take all of him. Relaxing her jaw, she let go with a ‘pop’ and took a deep breath before fully sucking him again. The grip on her hair tightened, forcing her head down with more strength than before. His dick slid easily, as if her mouth was made for him, welcoming his length.
“Fuck, love.” He groaned, borderline insane. “Fuck. Keep going.” Each time she bobbed up and down, she took a bit more of him until the gag came. Tears burned her orbs and her throat closed, making her cough loudly. “You good?”
“Good.” Y/N agreed. “Let me try again.”
“Are you sure?”
“Guide me.”
He moved forward, crowding over her and holding her jaw. “Breathe through your nose and hold it each time you sink. It helps.” He caressed her lower lip. “Here, try with my fingers.” She opened, feeling his thumb first, sucking on it slightly. Then, he took it off and gave her his index, so he could go further. His digit was slender, bony, but she felt the gag anyway. “Don’t breathe as you go down, love. Right, take it easy.” Y/N obeyed, holding her breath. “Like this, yes, perfect.” She reached for his dick again, mimicking what she was doing on his finger. “Fuck.” He let out an amused laugh, raspy and short. “Can I add one more?”
She shook her head, welcoming another one. It was honestly easier that way, but at each stroke of her wrist, she grew restless – she wanted to taste him again, wanted to hear his grunts, and see the way he looked like when he came. So, instead of waiting for him to tell her what to do next, Y/N pushed his hand away and focused on his cock. Soobin remained quiet, letting her do whatever she wanted. She gathered some saliva, spitting on his tip and smudging it with her thumb. He held back a groan, fluttering at the feeling of her caress.
“I wanna do it now.”
“Go on, then.” He barely finished speaking when she started sucking him again. Keeping in mind how and when to breathe, she was able to take him easier than before. Soobin’s eyes darkened, enamoured by the sight. “Like this, go slow. No need to rush.” She looked at him through her lashes, encouraged by his words. Drool pooled on her mouth, making her gag just a tiny bit when she got past half of his shaft. “You’re doing so good.” He praised. “So good for me, love.” It was enough to keep her going, a little more confident than before. He finally hit her throat and she gagged, but instead of stopping, Y/N bobbed her head up and down once again, trying the pace and the whole move. “Fuck, I might need you to suck me off every day now.” He chuckled, reaching for her hair again, not forcing her face, but keeping some kind of pressure there.
Y/N really did her best. Every time he hit her throat, she ignored the discomfort and the tears, because the pretty, quiet moans he let out were too divine for her to care about anything else. However, as his hips started moving on their own, the quicker they got, the harder it was to conceal her breathing… So, she had to stop. She decided to focus on the tip, sucking and licking at it, while her hand pumped his shaft up and down.
“Where?” His voice came out strained. “Where should I come, love?”
She frowned, pondering. Unbuttoning her shirt would take ages, so the most logical place was… her mouth. Well, she couldn’t deep throat yet, but she obviously could swallow. Besides, she knew boys liked stuff like that. Not bothering to answer, Y/N sucked him with renewed disposition.
It was the way she refused to step back, warm palm against his skin, delicious and wet lips on his tip… Soobin had been waiting for that since the kitchen episode. So, when his orgasm washed over him, he wasn’t sure what felt better: the sheer pleasure of finally cumming, or the whole experience. At the moment, it wasn’t his best friend between his legs ‘trying’ a blowjob so she could do it on her future boyfriend. Y/N was a pretty girl with a perfect mouth and an eagerness to please that would make any boy weak on the knees.
And when their eyes met, the lustful haze not as thick as before, Soobin couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so satisfied with just a blowjob.
“Sorry I couldn’t take it all.” She broke the silence, disappointed. “I wish I…”
“Don’t worry.” He cut her off, ready to say ‘We can try again next time’, but the words died before reaching his tongue. There wouldn’t be a next time. She was supposed to do it with Donghyuck, not him. However, it wouldn’t be the same. Donghyuck probably didn’t have a big dick like he did. It was such a petty thought, but it was better than acknowledging the pang of jealousy Soobin felt at the perspective of Y/N deep throating his friend. “You were perfect.”
The small smile that graced her lips made his heart clench. “Oh, you don’t have to…”
“Trust me. You never got a blowjob, so trust me.”
She chuckled. “Alright.”
And because he was still in a haze thanks to the pleasure, Soobin pulled her up by the hand. “C’mere, let me take care of you now.”
Y/N went to him like a moth to a flame, without resisting. Their mouths collided as she sat on his lap, melting on the kiss, burning with it. Before he could lay her down and finally get those pyjama’s pants off, someone knocked on the door.
“Yo, bro, what are you doing?” It was Beomgyu’s voice. “You’re marked as ‘away’ on the group chat, but… Oh. Ohhh.” He giggled. “Is Y/N in there?”
Y/N shook her head in fear, signalling a ‘No’. Beomgyu wouldn’t let her live if he knew he interrupted them… And she wasn’t in a good mental state to take the blow.
“No. I was just watching anime.” Soobin thanked God his voice sounded normal.
“Ah, alright. How about LoL?”
“Coming right in.”
“Ok!” They heard his steps vanishing towards his own room, and sighed.
“I better go, then.” Y/N tried to stand up.
“Wait, no. Why?”
“I don’t want to see Beomgyu now, and you gotta focus on your game.” She cleared her throat, forcing a smile. “C’mon, don’t be difficult.”
“Alright.” He sighed again. “Alright.”
Trying to avoid any embarrassment, she reached for the door, pondering what to say.
“Thank you, though. It was… Really nice.” Oh, how cringe!
“The pleasure was mine. Literally.” His eyes got smaller as he grinned.
“I’m glad.” She glanced at him one last time. “Night, Bin.”
“Night, love.”
Y/N’s breath caught, the nickname ringing in a different tune now. Almost bolting out of the room, she took the stairs instead of the lift, desperate to be alone.
She needed to get Soobin out of her system, and the slick mess on her pyjama’s pants had to be addressed by thoughts of tanned skin, adorable moles and a heart-shaped mouth… Although her mind kept recalling a roguish smile and dimples – which was annoying, since they belonged to…
Felicia and Y/N had left the Pilates’ class ready for their Friday brunch. She liked spending time with her friends, she recharged in their presence; however, this time she just wanted to be quiet. She had no idea of what to do with her thoughts, the flashes of last night occupying much of her head and making it so hard to focus on anything else.
“You’re not even listening.” Fel sighed.
“Of course I am!” Y/N retorted.
“So what was I saying?”
She gulped. “You were…” Luckily, her phone vibrated with a new message. Shaky hands, she ignored the tighten on her heart at the name on the screen.
[11:28] binbin🐰: party tomorrow
time to try our new strategy
Tomorrow.
Oh.
“What is it? You look… I don’t know, stunned?!” Felicia frowned.
“Soobin texted. A-apparently I’ll try to seduce Hyuck tomorrow.” She looked at her friend. “I might… I might kiss Donghyuck tomorrow, Fel.”
“And this is good, right?”
“Of course!” She smiled.
It was. Despite de unsettling feeling on her stomach.
Working went as smoothly as she could make it, now with two growing worries haunting her. Mimi noticed she was acting weird and called for help, which came by the form of take-out and Choi Yeonjun. There was nothing her darling dearest couldn’t mend, heal or sort out.
They were in the middle of an ‘Attack on Titans’ episode when she broke the news.
“I’ll try my next step with Hyuck tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” Yeonjun turned to her, interested.
“Yeah.”
Something in her expression made his heart clench. “You nervous, darling?” He asked softly.
Eren’s screams while fighting against titans were a great demonstration of how Y/N felt the whole day. She was confused, frustrated and anxious.
“Nervous, yeah.”
“Why?”
“Got a lot on my mind.” Y/N took a deep sigh, cheeks flushing. “With Soobin things are easy. I don’t feel anxious, nor insecure. On the contrary! I feel… Seen. Cared for. Special. It makes sense, right? He’s my best friend.” She shook her head, as if trying to sort her thoughts. “I-I know what you’re thinking: friends don’t… Friends don’t do what we do. But he is just helping me, because I am desperate. I still like Donghyuck. I really do.”
“I know, darling, you don’t have to explain anything.” Yeonjun took her hand, giving it a tender squeeze. “I believe you, and I’m always on your side.”
The thing was… She was starting to doubt herself.
part two out now!
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