#i wont leave i cant leave i wont try to leave | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

boyjehanne · 11 months

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imagine being able to look into your moms eyes without feeling immense guilt clawinf at your heart

#ill never get tattoos or piercings or present myself in a way you wpuldnt want me to ill dedicate my life to pleasing you #ill stay up studying every night n still wake up at 5.25 each morning to go to school bc me getting good grades makes you happy #ive never went to a party ive never gone to prom ive never had a friendgroup ill never leave town ill never go to uni #ill be here for you till you wont be here for me anymore #i wont leave i cant leave i wont try to leave #never had dreams or aspirations of any kind so youll have me at your door at all times #you know whats best i dont know whats the worst that could happen sorry if ive ever talked in my sleep #never asking you to wash my back never asking you for more ever again #my pocket money are enough for me i wont buy anything else that isnt a need i wont throw uour money away ill never yell again

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hinamie · 2 months

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色彩 [Shikisai]

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #itafushi #fushiita #yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #fanart #jjk fanart #megumi #yuuji #finally...some not angst.....#im worried out of my mind fr these two right abt now but we cope we cope :)#i woke up early n rushed to render this bc im leaving 2 catsit today n wont b able to spend every waking hour drawing like i have been #almost uploaded it without rendering megumi's ear and frgetting the sukuna scars so im sure ill find something i missed once i hit post smh #this pose fought me also >:( sighs why when i try to do not angst they do not want to cooperate . do they prefer being hurt #anyway !!!#i dont think any1 Listens when ppl put song links in the caption but if anyone is curious ! colours/shikisai galileo galilei #SO themcore im unwell i say that a lot but i mean it every time #speaking of colours i Love how these turned out but they ended up being a lot more cohesive than i intended GKHSDFK #wanted to have yuuji in warm and megumi in cold but that appears to have blended everywhere but their uniforms Oops #sighs these 2 and their sun/moon imagery r my cause of death. i die thinking abt it #resisted the urge 2 have a lmhs caption but let it b known. i amn Thinking it.#anyway i say ill b away from my drawing tablet but i fully plan 2 uber home one of the days so i can draw #i cant b slacking now the itfs reunion is nigh and i feel nauseous abt it i need to channel the nervous energy #have sketches.......just in case....but we dont Talk abt just in case >:(#itfs nation hold strong <3

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puppyeared · 7 months

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happy valentines day <3 i wanted to do more, but sadly i only had enough time to complete these two

please also don't forget Rafah is under attack and urgently needs help. you can buy esims, check the BDS boycott list, click the daily donation button and email your representatives (USA).

there will also be a global strike february 18 - 24.

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doodlebloo · 7 months

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Hiii guys.

I've already been out of my mind busy for the past few months, and with midterms happening and my thesis defense soon I may not be super active here for a bit.

As it stands now I'm not leaving this blog. This has been my home for the past few years and I love the story too much to let go. I will assess how I'll talk about Tommy/Phil/Tubbo etc going forwards based on their responses, lack thereof, info on what is and isn't allowed to be said legally, etc.

If you're reading this I love you so so so much. I am at all times overflowing with love for the dsmp/mcyt community and what it's done for me. Some of the happiest moments I've had in my life were because of you all.

Also, if you're rebranding or moving blogs or w/e and we're mutuals I'd love to follow your new account even if we share 0 interests in common now, feel free to lmk where you're headed to (if you want) ❤️

#i think i need to be less on Tumblr for a minute because well.#i have an unhealthy attatchment to this community. i like get physically sick when i see a blog i loved has deleted.#and i cant really take the stress of watching ppl leave and checking for updates/statements on this situation rn so. may take a short break #i am coming back though. promise. probably wont even be a week.#(disclaimer 1: supporting shubble should always be everyones first priority. not trying to make this situation abt me just posting an update #on my blog about how my blog will be handling things.)#((disclaimer 2: if you see me post this ans a few days later im back here that means i failed in my attempt to not doomscroll 💔))#doodle.txt

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satorisoup · 21 days

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WAHHH good morning fwiends n’ happy sunday !! ( ྀི◞ ⸝⸝ ◟) & happy september 1st !! dis means dat spooky season is upon us !! what a wonderful time of tha year !! <3

i hope everyone has tha most wonderfulest day today, remember dat you are important n’ loved !! MWUUUAH !! <3 🍯

#ehe !! ouh what a wonderful season dat is comin’ closer !! ^_^#m’ favowite time of year <3 da rain… da cold weather… da gloomy sky !! kyaaa 🥺#m’ sho excited for tha leaves to be falling !! n’ halloween !! i will try to celebrate truly dis year !! >//<#m’ trying to figure out m’ costume n’ i think im going as hori from horimiya !! ( fank yous nia for da help !! i wuv you my pwecious :3 )#m’ special day is comin’ up soon enough too !! wont be postin’ or sayin tha date but !!#i fink m’ gonna get a kiri n’ kou cake for it !! 🥹#and !! speakin’ of kou !! IT IS HIS BIRTHDAY MONTH !! >//<#ouh ouh !! i cant wait to make his special day tha most wonderful of them all !! :3 #i already have tha birthday commi for him !!#ive been silent about kou for a bit but its because m’ planning mwuehe !! ^_^#dont fink i forgot about my most pwecious bokuto !! nunu !! neva eva !! :p #i have work a lot for the next upcomin’ weeks but !! i wont let dat stop me !! :>#n’ how special it is dat i got kou’s birthday off work !! i can gush about him awlll day !! prepare for tha never ending gushiness !! >.<#plannin’ on responding to askies n’ posting more !! popping by some mooties ask boxies too !! 🥹 i missed all of yous !! <3 #oki i will wrap dis yap up !! have tha bestest day today fwiends !!#I WUV YOU ALL !! MWUAH MWUAH !! <3 🍓#₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ — lene’s latest gossip .ᐟ

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sieglinde-freud · 9 months

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feel like morgan/lucina is kinda underrated like i get why. but also like… duuude… take it from lucinas perspective: the kid of the fell god that betrayed your father turns against you despite years and years of friendship and most definitely knowing eachother since birth (do you honestly think chrom and robin wouldnt set their kids up on play dates immediately? really??) and despite how much you love them you know they’re beyond saving and you have to leave them behind to succumb to grima when you go back in time to save the world, accepting that youll never see them again! oh shit buts whats this… they show up in the past anyways? having forgotten all the time you spent together, the trouble they caused, everything you meant to them? but its them, its morgan and for the first time in years youre able to see them again happy, carefree, and in complete control! should you feel sad? scared? overjoyed? i dont know! but slap some yuri on that and you got a crazy ass little sideplot all im saying!!!

#ann plays awakening #i just think lucina and morgan have a lot of potential!!#childhood friends to mutual crush to ‘oh shit youre evil i gotta go’ to ‘wym you forgot me?!’ to trying to repair the past #to HOPEFULLY AT SOME POINT lovers. do you see what im talking about??#also i think the implication that our morgan is from a different timeline from lucina could be interesting too #like eventually she’ll have to accept that she DID leave her morgan behind and wont ever see them again #seeing our morgan is a relief to know that somewhere out there they were saved. but hers wasnt. isnt that fucked up #anyways so. guess who im pairing lucina with this time hreheheheah #i wasnt going to at first but then i was just suddenly struck with the idea of them and im j. wow.#also great bc they make up 2/3 second gen units i wont be able to galeforce onto immediately #so. support grind AND skill grind at the same time. yeehoo #i still cant believe they didnt let lucina and f!morgan support tho. like are you joking… CHROM AND ROBINS KIDS?!?!??#insanity.

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skunkes · 11 months

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experiencing a weird thing where im trying to go to sleep earlier (because im tired and sleepy) but i take so long to fall asleep its the exact same thing as just going to bed late...feel so hopeless and i always end up tired either way... im very big on "i can always try again tomorrow" mentality in any way it can be interpreted (interactions with others, mood, the amount of work i do etc) but its so hard to Try Again when you're always too tired to do anything...

#i rarely take naps...i tried to do so today and after the hour i gave myself to nap i still hadnt fully fallen asleep #im so sleepy and tired ....#even if i manage to get my personal required 9 hrs of sleep im tired....#i dont get it...im so sleepy rn + am going to bed but i wont fall asleep until much later...#god. i also hate this bc you'd think being an unemployed homebody who cant leave his house wld mean Constant #Naps and Sleeping. i avg like 6 hrs a night i cant imagine how worse off ill be with a job #i just want to sleep...!#and feel well rested...#talkys #sorry im just very frustrated...i try to do things to better my life and health and it ends up Not Working #like whats even the point. can barely keep my eyes open but i wont fall asleep until 5 am. why not just #go to bed at 5 am then. ugh.

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bunnihearted · 2 months

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🧸♡ ⋆｡˚

#it actually does make such a huge difference omg im like ... feels like i got thrown into the floor lost my breath #having someone i like so much to talk to abt things #and share stuff and details abt not only my days but their days too #and talking abt like books that we read or shows/movies we saw and etc etc #sending pics. sending voice messages. all of that #that was so amazing wth???#it sounds like such a mundane thing but it changed my enire baseline. it wasnt a littel thing to me #i didnt share as much as i wanted to because it takes me longer to settle into smth like this #or any kind of connection/correspondence/bond/rapport #im slow bc im so scared of ppl. scared of trusting. scared of opening up. rejection rejection all of that #yeah.. takes me a lot longer than the average person to settle into smth like this #avpd is its own special hell...#i miss it a lot and i wish there hadnt been all the other circumstances so i could've actually relaxed into it #and come out of my shell completely. which i was almost there. now that mental block is gone but it's too late....#i take too long... it is impossible to be patient with me. i really hate everything abt my brain #my desire overtook my fear and it was quicker than it ever has but not enough.. :(#i miss it sm and it made me feel so so much lust for life..#but it's gone now and i can really feel the loss of it #i wouldve done anything i could to save it. or nurture it. or whatever. but it was a sacred treasure to /me/.#it doesnt matter if i try to put out the flames in a burning house if the house is gone and there are actually only the flames left #and since to me it is so special. and like. the fact that this even happened is crazy to me stuff like this feelings and connection never #happen to me. it's like.. special to talk to someone u like & have an established rapport with on a regular basis #and tell them stuff and rant abt like a book or whatever. ask them details abt their life bc u know them and enjoy knowing them #i cant just transfer all of this to someone else. i dont feel like yapping abt the book im reading into the void or someone i barely know #i just dont know... i need that sm and it was so amazing w someone i like sm. & it makes me sad i takes me too long to get fully comfortable #bc of this time were it was the most intense and long lasting for me but also im in love lmao. but other times too...#i take too long and why would someone wanna wait like actually a year (which is how long it often takes me to pass a certain barrier)#im not special. im nothing that great. it is easy to find someone else who is x1000 better than me and wont take an eternity to warm up #i just feel so sad bc i try so hard and then all of my effort just goes down the drain and then i have to do it again if i meet someone #then they'll leave me behind too and get tired of me and not like what they see and then im back at square 1 again

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penisbilt · 5 months

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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL #really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us #ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great #extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore #the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog #its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow #i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating #i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one #i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it #theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget #anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by #there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad #cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now #maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that #im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away #ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free #i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20 #i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her #but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more #maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know #because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before #i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years #i dunno. i dont know #anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process #the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months #the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time #when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move #just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend

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vaedar · 4 months

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𝐎𝐎𝐂; The in laws have been staying with us for a while now ( and still have a while longer until they can leave pls send help ). But wanted to drop by to say I will return now for the summer, especially for when the HotD season 2 effect kicks in and the RP people pop back. Hope everyone's been doing great and I miss you all! Thank you for the patience, as always <3

#tati ooc #the in laws are a big help when they want to be but... they are so draining ok emotionally and mentally draining #even when i have little breaks to try and reply to discord stuff my head just cant get into the rp space cuz #it's so worn out from dealing with them that i need a day or two to recover in peace... which wont happen until they leave but oh well #enough rambling on tags sorry xD also a reminder that feel free to approach to plot and that yes i rp on discord too way more than here

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mithomite · 6 months

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had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what

#lolaa.txt #what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa #also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men #and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man #so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face #that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin #you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to #never really have #im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are #if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box #then when would you have any space for self discovery #youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats #and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names #and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy #and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia #tw transphobes

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gifti3 · 5 months

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i think a good yandere needs to at least be a little pathetic

#thinking about nonsense again this morning #like what makes a yandere excellent at their job you know LMAO #also im like comparing “yandere's” made by people from different countries in my mind #i feel like u need to remove the shame from ur body if u wanna make a top tier yandere #not shaming anyone cause ik i would have problems doing it #like a part of my brain is always like...but that bad #so it ruins any attempts #u always feel like u need to rehabilitate them #i dont think that necessarily ruins it tbh cause ive seen it done well before #but....that person will be going to jail #“jessica he killed 5 people you cant stay with him sorry”#either that or they need to leave cause they cant stay here you know?#idk if im making sense #also i think u need to be honest about the type of character ur making #like if u wanna make a yandere #do it with ur chest and tell people how its gonna be #so people who hate that shit wont get attached to said character and get upset that theyre toxic #well i mean it can still happen with warnings but u know #itll be less of an issue #i think being honest will also prevent u from being kinda wishy washy with it if that makes sense #U GOTTA DO IT WITH CONFIDENCE AND NO SHAME #or its gonna flop #its like trying to write smut with shame....

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gwensy · 6 months

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can i be emotionally vulnerable i hate cooking with other people so much this is not a cute fun silly activity get out of the kitchen or im pouring dishwashing fluid into the pasta salad

#NOBODY KNOWS HOW TO COOK IN MY HOUSE #ITS LIKE WRANGLING A TODDLER #STOP STIRRING ITS FINE. WHY ARE YOU SEASONING THAT WITH THAT. THAT DOESNT NEED OIL. GET AWAY FROM THE STOVE. TURN THE PANS INWARDS.#NOBODY PUTS ANYTHING UP EITHER #ITS ALWAYS SOME LOVECRAFTIAN HORROR I HAVE TO DEEPCLEAN WHENEVER ANYONE EXCEPT ME COOKS #YOU CAN PUT THINGS UP WHEN YOURE DONE WITH THEM. ARE YOU AWARE OF THAT COINCEPT #YOU CAN WASSHHH YOUR HANNNDSSSS #ME DISINFECTING WONT KILL YOU I PROMISE #sorry #rant over i hate cooking with my mon around #shes such a hazard to have anywhere genuinely #ive seen her remove chicken i had on the stove and try microwaving it because itd be “faster”#i cant even leave my own coffee on the counter because she will pour sugar and milk in kt #it*#genuinely she is painfully unhelpful its crazy #never in my life have i met anyone so insanely incompetant in a kitchen #rant actually over sorry #i can be mean my mom is a horrible person #siiigghhh #skyler posting

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melodyatlas · 9 days

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hehehe yall want a little taste of a wip?

The entire reason Tim became Robin was to keep Bruce from going down this sort of path, and he's not going to let Bruce throw him into the backseat and try to force him into a kiddie chair. Tim isn't Jason. And he's not going to let Bruce's fear of Tim ending up like his predecessor define him or his life. Well.... he's not going to let it define him or his life any more than it already has. He's ready to step out of Jason Todd's shadow. Especially now that he's back from the dead.

#as if i needed more wips #but the hood buying timbin premise wont leave me alone #i actually was trying to brainstorm ideas for sladerobin week #but the stranglehold jaytim has on me cant be stopped apparently #i will try again on the sladerobin stuff in a few days #melodys words #melodys works

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bbael · 1 month

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Since I got the job the other day I've been thinking about how bad my rejection sensitivity is in professional settings, I am really just anxious about everything and assume people are gonna think I'm stupid or something and that makes me look even more stupid...

#today the afternoon girl told me smth that i interpreted as passive agressive(?) & “oh im just letting you know how you should leave stuff #for us for when we come in :-) bc you might not know“#when i clearly had told her i had prev experience. so i asked if i had left anything out of order or fucked up in some way that was #an inconvenience to her and the aft team and she said no. so like....why are you saying that....#i really dont understand people...#wish i cared less and just did a little less than the bare minimum but the professional anxiety(? has me always trying to overperform #when i really ??? i mean its not important at all...#genuinely wud consider acting stupid for real and do 50% of my work so that people give up on expecting anything of me #and know they cant count on me for anything so they wont even bring it up lmao #but that would make me sad

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skunkes · 1 year

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#starting to really wanna be employed really baaaad but i have no options here. or remotely bc of my home situation...lol #i need to focus on relearning to drive. as soon as it gets cold for one week in mid january i will try really hard to drive more...#bc thats all i can do rn and i wont be able to leave if i cant drive #wah!#talkys

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