#i woke up from a nap and this was just in my brain

[cherietre]

Hello there @captainimprobable I had this post in my likes in a long time saved away trying to find a response for the right time to put into words. This post hit me very hard.

Ever since I was 17 and put on pysch meds, I was tired. Most notably, Zyprexa made me tired. Then I was put on Seroquel. That made me a Zombie. Now I'm 25 and with my very good psychiatrist we have done some med management and I don't take any meds that make me tired. But what made me get diagnosed with idopathic hypersomnia (and mild sleep apnea) is a story I thought I should share here to inspire you and any others struggling with sleep disorders/issues.

I got cellulitis on my leg in January of this year. I was hospitalized and put on IV antibiotics twice, and then after a month or so my leg cleared up and the infection was gone. So I thought "It's done and over with, no complications from this infection". Boy, was I wrong. I was shaving on my leg and I got cut, and the scented shaving cream I was using got into my bloodstream and it gave me the bacterial infection of cellulitis.

The cellulitis attacked my immune system. Specifically my hypocretin/oxycretin in my brain. I got a sleep disoerder from it. Everyone and I for the longest time throught it was narcolepsy. I had sleep attacks and I had to quit my job, I couldn't drive, stand or walk for a long time. I remember I fell asleep at both of my sisters graduations. I had sleep attacks everywhere, through vacations, stores, car rides, many things I couldn't control. I was so tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I got. At the time my doctor put me on Provigil, which I still do take now. But Provigil alone doesn't help with my condition.

So comes along June of this year. I did the sleep apnea test overnight for my 1st sleep study at thr Sleep Center (I've had 3 total). I only had 1 apnea at the time average, so I talked with my sleep doctor and he ordered the MSLT plus the sleep apnea test again.

August comes around and I do the two tests. I came back positive with borderline (5/6) mild sleep apnea. But the MSLT revealed that I had a sleep latency of 5 minuetes (I fell asleep on average for 5 minuetes) which means very sleep deprived, but I did not hit REM. And I was diagnosed with (idopathic) hypersomnia. I cried when the sleep tech told me on the phone. I felt "less" of a diagnosis because IH is not known hardly at all and so rare. Most people know what narcolepsy is but I've had to educate people about IH.

After I got the results I started researching. And everything made sense. Always feeling tired no matter if I got 9 or 14 hours of sleep, unrefreshing sleep. Long naps when I woke up I still felt tired. I take Concerta (used to take Adderall but the generic didnt really help with wakefulness) now plus provigil, and I am in the process of getting my cpap machine for my sleep apnea. I work 3rd shift overnight at a gas station now and I love it. I just sleep in the daytime in shifts for 2/4 hours so I can still get stuff done that I need to and then take my stimulants at night to keep me up.

My advice to you is: advocate for yourself, find a good sleep doctor/center for tests and do take the MSLT. That's what got me diagnosed because I have been feeling the way I have been (TIRED) for all of my adult life. From age 17-now 25 it was a struggle. Struggle to do school, work, have a social life. I figured I needed to get help and not let it ruin and control me anymore. Ask for help and have a good support system. I have some napping pillows and blankets I take to appropriate places when I'm tired. Have a bag/kit when the tiredness hits.

I just wanted to share my thoughts and story and I hope this will inspire you.

I've known i had a sleep disorder for like 13 years, but didn't get diagnosed with anything til last year, and until LITERALLY THIS WEEK even though it's been hard and even though I've cried over it multiple times, I've been able to be like "hehe haha i have sleepy bitch disease" but i just suddenly realized that i actually have a real, tangible disability. And I KNEW that, and I was never hung up on that word or anything, but I've been fine bc sure it's been impacting my life, but I've always managed to hold down jobs right??? And then I thought about it. I managed at Trader Joe's bc I was active all the time. So I thought "oh, okay, while i get this disorder under control, I can work retail". Except I realized that a) this disorder will never be under control, and b)i worked retail before the disorder got WORSE, like it has gotten the last couple years. because when I worked it before, sure i was tired, but because i was always moving I was fine. But NOW I also get these waves of extreme exhaustion that mean i need to take a nap RIGHT THEN, and if I don't, I get really sick. So. How am I supposed to work a retail job if there's a chance I'll be incapacitated for at least an hour in the middle of my shift? And when I worked the office job? That was remote. And looking back, I slept half the work day. (I always got my work done anyway, but NO it was not ok to sleep through the work day. I know.) So now here I am, almost 6 months unemployed, about to run out of unemployment money, JUST NOW realizing that it is not physically possible to work. And meanwhile, everyone around me just acts like either "oh haha isnt everyone tired" or like Im overdramatic and making it up. So I went on to a facebook group for people like me, and asked for advice. Every response was "Sorry, no, this never gets better! Also I haven't worked in years! Good luck! <3" And now I'm looking at the rest of my life and realizing im always going to be this way. Im always going to be living at half speed. I will never actually be able to live up to my full potential. How am I ever supposed to work? How do I make money? I've been so hopeful and blase about this whole thing for years and suddenly its not so chill anymore. I'm SO fucking SCARED and Im looking for literally any answer or any help and there is none. You can try medication, but it doesnt always work (and im doing that. and its not working.) Otherwise, ig you just...pray?????? I literally cannot feel this way forever. I cant. That is just not a life at all. What the FUCK am i supposed to do??? (And now Im freaking out bc when this all started i would fall asleep while driving. That hasnt happened since college but what if it changes? What if I cant drive anymore? So many people with these problems simply are not allowed to drive. What the fuck do I do oh my god)

[asbealthgn]

Eddie is used to getting recognized in public, but it doesn’t mean he likes it.

And Gareth knows how much he doesn’t like it, so Eddie’s not really sure why his best friend has completely abandoned him like this. Well, maybe abandon is a little dramatic. He said he’d be right back, but that was half an hour ago, and there’s only so many times he can circle the park and dive into bushes anytime someone gets too close. Which is why Eddie left the park altogether and is now sitting at a bus station. No one would expect notorious Corroded Coffin frontman Eddie Munson to be at a bus station, right?

Except he’s not sure the hat and sunglasses and incongruous location are quite doing their job. A group of kids across the road have stopped and they’re all whispering amongst themselves as they look at him. Eddie really wishes he had something to conceal himself with, but his hand over his face would definitely look way too suspicious. He’s thinking he might just have to cut and run and take his chances back in the park bushes.

That is, until the most beautiful man he’s ever seen in his life sits in the seat next to him, unfurling a giant map that easily shields both of them. Eddie’s fucking savior.

“Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know how to get to Japantown, would you?” the guy asks.

As it happens, Eddie does know how to get to Japantown. He hasn’t actually ridden the bus in years, but he still remembers the route. “Yeah,” he says, pointing it out on the map. “You just get on line five headed east and ride it like nine or ten stops until you get to McAllister and Fillmore. From there you just have to walk a few blocks to get into the area.”

The guy looks at him with big eyes, brown and a little droopy. “McAllister and Fillmore,” he repeats, like he’s trying to memorize it. He has pretty pink lips, glistening a little like he’s wearing lipgloss. 

Fuck, he’s adorable. And looks a bit prone to getting lost. And Eddie’s still kind of mad at Gareth for leaving him high and dry out here. So as the bus pulls up to the stop, Eddie figures what the hell?

“I’m actually headed that way,” Eddie says, standing. “I can show you.”

The guy’s whole face brightens and fuck, he really is gorgeous. “You don’t mind?”

“Not at all, big boy.”

The bus is blessedly empty other than one shriveled up lady sitting towards the front with her groceries and a teenager in the middle with giant headphones and their nose in a book. Eddie heads to the back with the guy, who now has a faint blush dusting his nose and cheeks.

“I’m Steve, by the way,” he says as he sits in the seat next to Eddie. “What’s your name?”

So that confirms that Steve doesn’t know who he is. It didn’t seem like he did from how he was reacting, but it’s a bit of relief to know for sure. “Eddie,” he says, bumping his shoulder into Steve’s. “Nice to meet you.”

Steve gives him a smile that’s about as radiant as the sun as he nudges Eddie’s shoulder back. “You too.”

“So what do you have going on in Japantown?” Eddie asks.

“I’m headed to a baby shower for some friends who live near there,” he says, “Well, it’s not a real baby shower.”

“No?”

“‘Cause it’s not a real baby. That is, it’s not a human baby.”

Eddie lifts his eyebrows. “I think you lost me.”

Steve twists in his seat and starts gesturing with his hands. “Well, it all started when they found out that one of their cats wasn’t actually spayed and had gotten knocked up by a stray,” he says, “And Robin was like, ‘Hey, more cats, that’s a good thing,’ and Nancy was like, ‘No, our neighbors already think we’re crazy cat ladies.’”

“Uh huh.”

“So they compromised and decided they would keep one kitten and give the rest away,” Steve says, “So it’s less of a come give us presents for our baby shower and more of a please take our babies away shower. You know?”

“Oh yeah, one of those,” Eddie says, and Steve laughs. 

“Hey, are you in the market for a kitten?” he asks. “Cause if you are, I totally know where you can get one.”

It’s Eddie’s turn to laugh. “Honestly?” he says, “I’ve got nothing else going on. Why the hell not?”

Steve gives him another one of those radiant smiles and Eddie can’t help but hope he gets more than a kitten by the end of this.

[varpusvaras]

Fox with a long kama (it keeps his legs warm), Thorn with a short kama (it's his miniskirt)

[stevesbipanic]

Steve saw Billy in Season 2 as who he could've been if he kept being the asshole he was in Season 1 and decided right then to keep going in the opposite direction just to make sure he didn't turn out like him and that's how we got Babygirl Steve in Season 3.

[cherry-bomb-ships]

The Nefarious CoatHanger

[gradelstuff]

THE LEAGUE MATTER SM TO HIM LITERALLY LEAVING BIG IMPACTS JUST LIKE TOMURA'S ORIGINAL FAMILY DID

[welcome-leon]

you ever sit down to write and you put on focus music and have no distractions and a good outline and you put your fingers to the keys and your brain resists so bad your teeth hurt

[knaveofmogadore]

You ever wake up from a dream so fucked that you have to sit there for 10 minutes after waking to rewrite the ending so that you can move on with your day or are you normal

[jinkieswouldyoulookatthis]

In reference to this, wasn't there a thing going on for a while between Astroglide and part of the Spn fandom? Like I seem to recall there being a thing that I want to say was on the destiel side of things. Was that real?

[ratcandy]

you know what I think would fix me ? big fat caterpillar or beetle grub the size of a small dog for me to hold gently in my arms like ababy

[dayurno]

who up wanting to. cook kevin day delicious chicken and veggies curry

[nyxypoo]

someone took my night owlness from me

[icebrooding]

very bad sylvari pick-up lines is when one sylvari goes up to another and asks them; 'would you like to pollinate me'

they are probably drunk when this happens

[bigboobyhalo]

sam legit talked about dream and him building pandora. they're friends and did it together, sam says so himself so i don't get how that's a disservice

no I meant cuz it will make ppl wanna vote for it less </3

[29121996]

can i uhhh gwt a loan of $5000 please

[sky-is-the-limit]

I am honestly so curious abt this 😭 if you had to rank your fav hotties from 1-10 how would you rank them? I have a feeling Arthur is going to be #1 and honestly YES.

Whenever someone asks me a question like this one, I completely forget every single character I like 😭

Unfortunately, sweet anon, Arthur is not first BUT let's narrow it down to the top 3 video game characters I'm obsessed with.

(I obviously have a type)

No.1 Abby Anderson. No one and I mean NO ONE will ever compare to the shock my body went in when I first saw that woman. The day a character surpasses her in hotness is the day I probably got brainwashed by someone cause I honestly cannot explain in words the hold this woman has over me. I would never give the first place to anyone, let alone a man when she exists looking like THAT.

Her fucking nose, her freckles that look like paint splashes, her gorgeous blue eyes, fucking hell, all her feminine features complimenting her defined masculine body that has me salivating quite visibly every time??? Those arms?!?!? Her fingers???? HAVE YOU SEEN HER THIGHS?! And she's so fucking beautiful, I could write ESSAYS.

No.2 You were right and I can't believe how quickly this man took over my brain chemistry and climbed over every single fictional man I've ever seen when it comes to wanting to get dicked down, gagged and absolutely ruined, Arthur Morgan.

God, are we even surprised to be here? Where do I even start, his fucking gorgeous green eyes???? his jawline??? His HANDS?!?!?! Even his body hair, I'm not okay. The broad shoulders and big arms or his fucking southern accent that has me turning into the fucking pacific ocean? There's something so fucking raw and manly about him in the most attractive way possible that makes me go fucking insane. He's a MAN. Setting feminism back 50 years.

No.3 and to be expected, my favourite CoD character, the DILF of Dilfs, another MAN that fucking screams masculinity and dominance in the most non toxic way possible, Captain John Price.

His voice alone could make me finish in my pants let alone him being a fucking bear of a man with those big thighs and arms screaming through his uniform that only adds to his fucking sexiness LORD. I'm not usually into men with beards like that but fucking hell would I bleach the fuck out of it. The authority and dominance that this man carries with every step??????? I would BEG to lick the sweat clean off his body, yes I do the cooking, yes I do the cleaning SIR.