#i woke up and chose violence.

[beans-in-your-socks]

Not Nice Days

READ NOW ON AO3!!

☆ now, onto the fic update ☆

| Chapter 4 | An Angel’s Mistake |

!! GORE WARNING !! BLOOD TW !! MILD VIOLENCE WARNING !!

“A- Aziraphale?” Crowley had stuttered, looking at him in shock. Muriel hurriedly made their way upstairs, leaving the supreme archangel and retired demon by themselves. Aziraphale could now see to the full extent of what Muriel had meant by his face being “wrong”. There were 2, long, fresh, burn scars trailing down each of his cheeks, one on each side, stopping at his eyes. There was still some blood actively oozing from the right side. It was not a pretty sight, but what was worse was that these types of burns do not come from any regular corrosive substance no, these specific burns were only caused by 1 thing. A substance Aziraphale was all too familiar with. He had studied weapons that were lethal to demons, to keep Crowley safe after his near discorporation during His trial four years ago. He would recognise this type of burn anywhere. They mimicked the look of burns caused by strong acids but could destroy a demon on contact. These were holy water burns. 

Aziraphale let all his worry spill out at once, making his way over to Crowley, arms extended. 

“Who did this to you? How could they do this? why, why would anyone do this?” he asked over and over. He ran a hand through Crowley’s shaggy grown-out hair, letting it rest on the back of his neck. The demon went red in the face. Aziraphale knew he wasn't used to physical touch but it was the only way the angel was able to express himself. The words never seemed to come out quite right. He always knew exactly what he wanted to say, but whenever he tried to say it, it was like pouring out a bag of alphabet pasta, except it’s not alphabet pasta, it's just regular pasta, and trying to make words out of it.

“No one did this angel… it’s… it’s been like this a long time.” he said, not meeting his eyes, taking Aziraphales's hand from behind his neck and lowering it. His voice told Aziraphale everything. Crowley had given up. He’s really given up this time. Aziraphale could smell an excessive amount of wine leaking from Crowley’s pores. His hair was unruly and clearly hadn't been washed in over a week. He’s given up on himself. And it’s all my fault.

He tried to take Crowley’s hand again but it flinched away from his. 

Oh.

 Aziraphale had to use every ounce of his will, not to burst into tears. 

“At least let me…” Aziraphale started, swishing his fingers, attempting to heal the burns but they stayed put. He tried again. And again. And again. But to no avail. The wounds did not have any plans to heal anytime soon.

“Don't bother angel, some wounds just cut too deep to be healed by miracles.” Crowley replied, with such resentment in his voice, that Aziraphale truly began to question his decision to leave him.

Aziraphale got ready to bring down as much heavenly power as he was authorised to. “Just let me tr-”

“Stop.” Crowley interrupted, grabbing Aziraphales wrist, mid-click. “If you tried to miracle them away, I would always know the scars were there, underneath, so we might as well just let time heal them,” he muttered.

“Oh Crowley, my dear demon,” Aziraphale begged, grasping the demon’s cheeks with his hands “Forgive m-” but he was cut off by a sharp wail and Crowley sprang back, clasping his face. The burns were bleeding again. Aziraphale stared down at his hands, demon blood spattered on his fingertips. He was horrified. He had hurt him. Aziraphale had hurt Crowley, physically. 

“I- I’m sorry… I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” there was no holding it back anymore. Aziraphale burst into tears, whimpering a million apologies. 

“I truly am sorry…” he whispered, sinking to his knees, face buried in his hands. “I’ve hurt you over and over and nothing I do or say will ever be enough” he wept “I can never do anything right…”

Crowley looked up from the small blood clot that had fallen into his hands and concern shot across his face, like a bullet. He went to the angel as fast as he could, kneeling and attempting to console him, although, god knew that it was not one of his strengths.

“Hey hey, angel don’t… don’t say that” he swallowed. Aziraphale felt Crowley press his forehead against his. He looked up from his tears, realising that this was the closest they’d been since the kiss.

“Don’t ever say that again OK? Promise me, you’ll never think like that again? Do you Promise?” it almost sounded like a threat coming from Crowley, but Aziraphale knew he meant well.

He sniffed and nodded. Crowley half broke away from him, and Aziraphale noticed his eyes rapidly flick downwards, towards his lips, but he must have decided it was too soon, as he just scooped him into a tight embrace. Aziraphale buried his face into Crowley’s blazer, sobbing quietly. Crowley gently shushed him assuring him that they could stay here for as long as he wanted. “Even if it takes an eternity, we don’t have to leave until you feel better, OK?” 

Aziraphale took some time to think. This was all he ever wanted, so why on earth did it feel so wrong? He knew he wouldn’t be able to leave heaven, not yet at least. He had to make a change, if he couldn’t help heaven deserve his demon, then what was the point? He really had started to see things get a little better, since his promotion, surely it could only go up from there? Right? He knew Crowley loved him, he had said so himself, so perhaps there’s still a chance…?

He broke away from Crowley’s embrace, wiping away the remaining tears. He faced him, clearing his throat and getting to his feet, and Crowley did the same. There was something in his eyes that Aziraphale had not seen in a long time. Not since he met that beautiful angel all those eons ago, the one who created the stars, the one who asked questions. Hope.

“I… we can be us, Crowley, I want to be an us! An- and we can be, i-in heaven!” Aziraphale exclaimed, hoping with all his heart that the demon would agree this time. That he would listen to reason.

Crowley’s face quickly dropped. The previous adoring expression had been replaced with one of sick disgust and disbelief. “And here I thought, you had finally accepted that you cannot change me.” he growled “But I guess I was wrong” he snatched his sunglasses from the desk and made a beeline for the door. Aziraphale grabbed a hold of his wrist, yanking him back in his direction, it was beginning to get heated.

“Crowley for once in your life can you just LISTEN? I am giving you the opportunity of your eternal LIFETIME, HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT?” he sputtered “WHY WON’T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME? WE CAN BE ANGELS AGAIN, YOU CAN DO GOOD, WITHOUT BEING PUNISHED, YOU CAN BE YOURSELF, WITHOUT BEING  PUNISHED, DON’T YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN?!?” Aziraphale screamed, tears welling up in his eyes once more.

Crowley seemed genuinely taken aback by the last part. 

“You- you think that because I’m a demon… I can’t be happy?” he asked

“You know thats not what I meant-”

“Are you sure? Because you really don’t seem to know anything.” the demon hissed “satan give me strength, you really are thicker than I believed was possible for an angel!” he exclaimed gripping the bridge of his nose. “I was PLENTY happy before those stupid bastard angels had to come and steal you away!” he fumed, all while waving a photograph around in the air. Aziraphale hadn't noticed it before but he knew immediately what it was… had he been holding it this whole time? 

“Have you been… did you… did you go through my things?” he stuttered, pointing at the photograph. He already knew the answer, but he was so shocked Crowley would have the audacity to rummage through his belongings. It was completely unlike the demon to cross this sort of boundary, especially while Aziraphale wasn't present. He knew that Crowley respected him and it was hard to believe he would do such a thing… he lost the tiniest bit of trust in the demon at that moment.

“I-” Crowley faltered, looking rapidly between the photo and the angel, clearly unsure how he should explain his actions. “Look, that doesn't matter right now, what matters is-” Aziraphale cut him off before he could continue,

“No it does, it does matter, Crowley, I expected better of you”

Something flashed in the demon's eyes, a long-forgotten memory, or at least, something he’d tried so very hard to forget. Looking where the furniture isn't… Aziraphale instantly realised his mistake, as a sizzling liquid started to drip from Crowley’s eyes. He watched the holy water trickle down his cheeks, following the same path they had done previously, cutting away at the thin layer of new skin cells and dried blood that had begun to form. Crowley barely reacted though. His face had lost all emotion, he just stood there, in silence. Numb. Aziraphale panicked, Crowley was bleeding again, heavily. The crimson liquid oozed out of his cheeks rapidly. If he kept going at this rate, he could lose consciousness. Aziraphale panicked and miracled some gauze. He made his way closer to Crowley and attempted to dab at the demon’s face, but in that moment, Crowley seemed to snap, slapping Aziraphale’s hand away, hissing. Aziraphale dropped the gauze and backed away, for the first time, genuinely afraid of the demon as he inched closer, slowly pressing Aziraphale against a bookshelf. 

“Don’t. touch me,” he growled, his ambre iris swirling with fury. Aziraphale noticed that he had started to smoke. Not good.

“Please Crowley, you’re bleeding-” he started, but was abruptly broken off by a large fist, grasping him by the neck, slamming him into the shelf. Aziraphale winced, the hard wood sending a jolt of pain through his spine.

“You don’t get to worry about me. Not anymore. Not after everything you’ve done, do you even realise how fucking miserable I have been since you left?” he hissed through his teeth. He loosened his grip momentarily, laughing, “I really haven't been able to function without you!! How pathetic is that?!” there was an insane look in Crowley’s eyes, something Aziraphale had never seen. A look of pure madness, blood still seeping from his skin, drenching his face in red and staining Aziraphale’s jumper. It was a horrifying sight. He didn't seem to be talking to Aziraphale anymore. He was gazing upwards, laughing manically. but Aziraphale was able to see the true emotion behind his eyes. Loneliness. Longing. Desperation. Betrayal. But most of all, anger. 

Crowley obviously noticed the fear in Aziraphale’s eyes, as he backed away, letting go of Aziraphale, guilt plastered over his face. Aziraphale tried not to show the terror in his face and straightened out his blazer. 

“I worry about you. I worry about you a lot, because I care about you, Crowley, because I lo-” he cut himself off, remembering the earth observation files and the pain that had been in Crowley’s face. He could see the same pain now. Why couldn’t he see what an amazing opportunity this was? “I’ve been miserable as well.” he sighed. “Everyone in heaven is a complete bitch and I don’t know what to do without you.” Crowley scoffed. “Yeah, what else is new? Why can’t you see why I don't want to go back to that… that… hellhole!” he breathed, exasperated. A small gasp escaped Aziraphale. Hellhole? Was that really how Crowley viewed heaven? Aziraphale was heaven now… was that how he viewed… Oh god. 

“HELLHOLE?! 

“Yeah, you heard me.”

“IT’S QUITE THE OPPOSITE, I HAVE BEEN MAKING QUITE THE CHANGE I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW.” Aziraphale huffed.

“I’m sure you have”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.”

“Going to pretend I’m still an angel while you’re at it?”

“I’m going to pretend you’re not such a malicious person”

“Oh, malicious? I’ll show you malicious”

An argument of enormous proportions ensued. Aziraphale yelled. Crowley yelled louder. Aziraphale cried. Crowley’s face dripped with blood. The electricity began to finick in the surrounding shops on whickber street. Passers-by began to take notice, a few calling emergency services, a few pulling out their phones to record. Crowley immediately closed all the blinds and disabled all London wifi and cell services with a snap of his slender fingers. Someone tried to enter the shop, but Aziraphale flicked a finger towards the entrance, turning the sign to “very closed” and locking the doors. Muriel stayed in their room, head buried in their hands rocking back and forth on their plush tartan sheets, scared for their life. 

“I DON’T WANT TO BE A FUCKING ANGEL, WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!”

“DON’T YOU WANT TO BE GOOD AGAIN?” “I DON’T WANT TO BE GOOD BY HEAVEN’S STANDARDS!!”

“HEAVEN IS THE SIDE OF LIGHT, JOIN US- JOIN ME, WE CAN BE TOGETHER IN HEAVEN AND WE’LL NEVER HAVE TO RUN.”

“HEAVEN ISN'T THE SIDE OF LIGHT YOU BUMBLING SHIT SANDWICH!”

“HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO COME UP WITH THAT ONE THEN HMM? 6000 YEARS? BECAUSE THATS HOW LONG WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER ON EARTH. DON’T YOU WANT TO HELP ME PROTECT IT?”

“YOU KNOW JUST AS WELL AS I DO THAT HEAVEN WANTS NOTHING MORE THAN TO DESTROY EARTH, WHY DO YOU WANT TO TAKE PART IN THAT? BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT?!” “THATS EXACTLY MY POINT! WE CAN HELP THEM DO BETTER, WE CAN FIX THE SYSTEM!”

“THE SYSTEM CANT BE FIXED, IT’S NOT BROKEN.”

That hit Aziraphale like a stack of bricks. He refused to believe this- any of this. Crowley just didn’t understand. But he could help him understand. Aziraphale knew he could… couldn't he?

“Look please just come back, we can be together, I want to be together, I want to be an us, and I know you do too. And we can do that safely in heaven!” Aziraphale tried to calm his voice, but it was still shaky and tears streamed down his face, salty and warm. “We’ll never have to run, we won’t ever have to be afraid, we can just be, us.”

“I’M NOT GOING BACK THERE, THEY HURLED ME INTO A PIT OF BOILING SULFUR FOR SIMPLY ASKING WHY. THEY COULD JUST AS EASILY DO THAT TO YOU!” Crowley screamed, but Aziraphale couldn't take it any longer. This was the last straw. 

“OH FOR FUCKS SAKE CROWLEY” he yelled marching over to him. He grabbed the lapels of Crowley’s blazer and yanked him into yet another, horrible, face-smooshing kiss. It was even worse than the first time. Crowley squeaked in surprise and pain from his burns. Blood trickled down his face, spattering droplets on Aziraphale's coat. Crowley, still in shock, quickly pushed himself away from Aziraphale.

“I- I can't.” was all the demon could muster.

“Well then.” aziraphale said, between tears.

 And then he was gone.

[zoestorm]

The manga: a college guy meets his childhood friend, who was formerly a boy but is now a woman, and has run away from home after an unspecified disagreement with her family which has left her with a significant amount of trauma; it's implied she was bullied heavily in the time since they've last seen each other.

But don't worry, she's not trans! She just got an illness which turned her into a woman!

The manga: a high school boy with an interest in make-up uses his gloomy, depressed (male) childhood friend as a model to improve his skills. This causes said friend to have an "awakening" and start dressing as a woman, and to overall be a much happier, brighter, outgoing person.

But don't worry, the friend is not trans! He's just a boy who crossdresses because his childhood friend likes him better that way!

The manga: a high school boy joins a club where the members can turn into magical girls, which in his case involves physically transforming into a girl. When in girlmode, he's much happier and enjoys his life much more, and overall prefers staying in girl mode; when the ability to transform is temporarily taken away from him, he sinks into a deep depressive episode.

But don't worry, he's not trans! He's just a boy who enjoys being a girl!

The manga: a college student loses a bet and has to crossdress for a night out on the town, and meets and hooks up with a butch girl; they fall in love and start dating. The boy always crossdressed when they meet, and starts enjoying being "treated like a girl" in the relationship and starts crossdressing even when he doesn't have to meet his girlfriend and enjoys activities such as clothes shopping and make-up and putting on nail polish.

But don't worry, he's not trans! He's just a boy who crossdresses to please his butch girlfriend!

The manga: a guy is magically turned into a girl as a result of saving his best friend, the crown prince, from an assassination attempt. The prince decides that he has to take responsibility, and asks the new girl to marry him; despite being smitten she refuses, wanting to date first. She is later offered a way to go back to being a man, but when she does turn back she's disgusted by her own appearance and depressed all the time, ultimately deciding to stay a girl.

But don't worry, she's not trans! She's just a boy who's been magically turned into a woman! And decides not to turn back when she can! Because she's not trans! Somehow!

"But we can't write trans women in manga! It's just not something that you do!"

[Image description: A one-comic panel. Gengar is glaring at a crowd of faceless characters; from the crowd, a speech balloon emerges, saying "You could if you weren't a fucking coward". End ID.]

[frenchublog]

once you play god☄️🎇

[amariram]

“I failed?”

[so-i-did-this-thing]

[avalonlights]

"Yes sir."

[cookiiemancer]

[olivefreezy]

[ectonurites]

so can jason stay dead this time or

[spliceyblues]

So if it were MalleYuu, Malleus would get the most popularity solely based off his status and earthly power. Though realistically, at first he'd be ridiculed, mocked, and strippen down his title upon the capture. He rose to fame because of how recognized he is. I mean, hey isn't that the one human that claimed to be a fae prince of some valley?What's his fuzz all about? A fool turning into a dragon beast defending- hey wait a minute, he isn't human at all!? Of course, this was Twisted Wonderland we're dealing with. Aliens would presume those horns meant he was some other beastmen.

Ah-- and there goes the sudden interest, the rumors, the attention...the fame.

We all know Malleus can definitely sing and is musically acquainted with. Of course he'd use that as an advantage.

Then there's Yuu..

His beloved Yuu...

So we fast forward to the first round.

The audience cheering and betting on the obvious Mal win..Just a simple landslide of a win. I mean who even is this Yuu human they speak of?

But what if...

it doesn't happen.

On stage, they sing a duet. In their eyes, they see each other for the last time because they know it's their last night together.

And they harmonize beautifully...

Like as if their voices were a true match from the heavens. A duet so perfectly rehearsed and tuned melody. Almost like they were making a powerful love confession through their voices.

And as they gazed into each other's galactic eyes, hoping that their strategy might have worked...well at least one remained hopeful.

A splash of blood instantly hits Yuu's face as their smile slowly fades along the endless gleam of light glowing above them.

The mocking sign of the first round winner displaying above:

Round 1 Winner: Yuu

☆ " The galactic stardust in your eyes spread out

In the endless darkness, I find you with your scent

Even if I fall asleep in infinity, don't leave my side. " ☆

MalleYuu ALNST AU

RookVil ALNST AU here

[snuffydoo]

"Am I but a fool?"

[sakura-rose12]

[abrabloodycadabra]

Can we be seventeen?

[ying-doodles]

hold onto each other like they are the last thing you have left in the world.

:)

[joy-girl]

Don't think about how in the outro Satoru and Shoko are hit by the sunlight, and are the only ones that turn around to wave at each other...

Whereas Suguru is in a shadow area, and just waves his hand with his back turned...

Symbolising how there's going to be a fracture between all of them and Suguru will go down towards a dark path, and will never turn back to how he used to be.

[canetteto]

"It would take a war to compromise this facility's safety."