#i will cry from being overwhelmed

[purplepink-blueberry]

is my school hard or am i just leaving everything to the end of the semester which is now?

[athousandbyeol]

oh, my God. this episode is so intense. i think i'm still in a daze. but i'm trying my best to make sense of everything i understood from today's episode.

opening the episode with bernoulli's principle—all about two objects [people, in this context] coming together, colliding, because of the wind [in this context, attraction, love]—is such an amazing way of setting the tone of the episode. everything feels so bittersweet, hopeless and hopeful from the get-go.

sheng wang's sense of loneliness, jiang tian's nature of reluctance, all those things mingling together in this emotionally charged connection they've built, was so poignantly portrayed in this episode. somewhat, they're in a turbulent state—whether to stop the wind from blowing at them, so that they would no longer be close.

the scene where sheng wang was asking jiang tian to carry him, honestly, that is so painful. because i think, all sheng wang wanted at that moment was a connection—he wanted to hug jiang tian. he wanted to be close. he just wanted so much of jiang tian that he thought, maybe, if he asked jiang tian something silly, the latter would agree. he did. he would know, right? i guess that feeling of relief and happiness and love and acceptance dawned on him. and it was so overwhelming.

but what hurts me more is how jiang tian could only watch sheng wang's grip around his wrist. there was hesitance in his eyes. there was want. there was desire. but he couldn't. he didn't want to be close.

so sheng wang crossed the line again. the only way he could ever be this close to jiang tian was to make the first move.

and later, we finally knew that jiang tian has always been pushing people away. he didn't want that connection. he was afraid of hurting them—hurting himself.

and throughout the rest of the episode, uncle ding's "don't let jiang tian push you away," became a recurring motif. we saw sheng wang and jiang tian becoming close. we saw jiang tian openly showing that he cared (the express card was sheng wang's; jiang tian bought it for him). jiang tian standing up for sheng wang; believing in him.

and it all crumbled the moment jiang tian said, "i would stay [at school] later."

because it isn't because jiang tian didn't care about sheng wang. he cared. he cared so much. but jiang tian is afraid too. he's afraid of this connection. he's afraid of being close. because what will happen if they are closer? what will change between them? what will happen to them? isn't what they have right now are already good enough?

all of sheng wang's attempts at making jiang tian stay are in vain. "i couldn't make you stay."

when he said, "the more one tries, the more pathetic they look," somehow insinuates that sheng wang felt that he was pathetic for being the one who showed more effort—the one who wanted to be with jiang tian—the one who wanted to be close.

and sheng wang finally stated the real reason why he loathes bernoulli's principle, "it sounds like 'effort in vain'. and i hate that."

because he felt that everything he did—everything he shared with jiang tian—was only in vain.

[covenofthearticulate]

Got a very special Vampire Wall Update for y'all!! I'm so excited to have @killer-laurent's brilliant art, based on my fic Out, Damned Spot

My heart is so full of love for all my fandom friends that made this happen— my fellow Louis stan @wicked-felina, who commissioned Laurent, and my love @monstersinthecosmos who gifted me this super shiny metal print that literally pops off the wall.

I feel so honored to have 3 different fan arts from 3 incredible artists on my wall, but this one especially makes me happy dance every time I look at it because I've never had anything made based on my writing so it just feels like such an act of love from all of my favorite people.

ahjsdgbksdahcf okay that's enough sap for now but anyway happy new year and thank you so so so so much to Kacy for this glorious addition to my Vampire Wall :)

[mochiwrites]

being so honest I don’t understand how people can expect you to be doing things constantly every single day. I’m supposed to be on summer break but my university expects me to send in 80 sources for my senior thesis by next week

the very thought of doing school work right now makes me want to cry. I can’t even open a blank document and start writing for my own fics. I can’t even engage in my own hobby right now because I’m so mentally exhausted. how can you expect me to do thesis work? I’ve hardly had a break since finals

my personal life has been an ongoing shitshow since last summer. and has only gotten worse in recent months. how can you expect someone to function in society when you throw one thing after another at them?

I’m so tired and done. but I have no choice other than pushing through it because that’s what’s expected of me! that’s exhausting

[biblicalhorror]

My relationship with my mom has come such a long way in the past few years only to come crashing down the second I try to do something nice for my dad and/or acknowledge that she is not the main character of the universe ://

[sysig]

It started with a whisper ♥ (Patreon)

[lunarharp]

some illustrations/vibes from my uhh 29k memory trauma/disability focus orufrey fic, into the deep end.

[shalegas34]

just got a prescription for drugs i had to sign for at the pharmacy. lets fucking go

[maxdurden]

i got that kind of mentally ill swag where everyone in my life knows that i need to be medicated except my therapist ✌️💕🌎

[fridayyy-13th]

anyone else up trying not to think too hard about the future or is it just me haha

[xannerz]

☁️🌞☁️

[shawcl]

i swear i just clocked out 5 mins ago how's it already bedtime again

[miodiodavinci]

good news: we have water again ! ! ! a pipe had burst somewhere up the street so the city came out and fixed it today (we still need to run the tap to get rid of the air and muddy water but. it's something.)

bad news: i had to go to my partner's to do laundry and shower so i missed out on work time today (bad) (anxiety inducing) (i don't need this right now)

worst news: i have a killer headache and my throat is suspiciously stiff 👁 👁

[curiosity-killed]

The thing about working at a Small, Toxic Office and then a Small, Weird as Hell Office is that the latter regularly has conversations that dive straight over the concept of work/life boundaries, too, but it’s almost universally in the category of “overly generous and compassionate” instead of “manipulating and exploiting you”

[tswwwit]

hi ik you don’t really do prompt rn but could we have some soft billdip hcs/drabble (or as soft as these two can get)? i’m a sucker for the way you write them and your works have genuinely helped me through the past weeks. even if not thank you for your works bc mmmm idk how you do it it’s just *chefs kiss* (:

Have some soft headcanons, then!

The first time Bill and Dipper took a bath together wasn't.... really a bath, per se. They'd probably run afoul of some supernatural skunk thing and had to soak in tomato juice, bickering about whose fault it was. The times they actually bathed together usually ended in water fights. Dipper half-drowned a couple times; Bill plays rough.

They've since settled down a bit! These days, the times they sink into one of Bill's hedonistic baths in his pyramid are pretty relaxing times to chat and flirt with each other.

And if Dipper's very sick or injured, Bill might even pick him up and set him in a warm bath, while taking charge of all the scrubbing down and rinsing of the pitiful mortal. While grumbling a little, but still!

Bill can cook. The trouble is getting him to stop adding ingredients that 'make things interesting', or go more along demonic culinary tastes - But he could, theoretically, make a decent meal. This is an uphill battle, since Bill's convinced following human recipes is boring and dumb. Dipper may even win it one day.

A fun fact that Dipper may or may not have learned by now is that Bill can purr! For the same reasons a cat might - calm, content, and relaxed.

However, Bill also hasn't done it in forever. For that kind of thing to happen, he'd have to be really content - to the point where let his guard down completely. Which I don't imagine he's done in basically.... eons? For all that he's had happy Party Times and pleased Winning Times and even Chill times, it's pretty impossible to ever really stop watching your back in the demon realm.

But say. After a great day. One where Bill's just won something, he's done something clever to pat himself on the back about, and he gets to chill with his husband in bed while Dipper rubs his back - just a calm, domestic-ish hangout where they're chilling - Dipper might feel and hear that rumbling start up. To his great surprise.

(And Bill's. He genuinely can't remember the last time that old instinct kicked in; it's unsettling.)

Here is what I imagine a triangle purring sounds like. It's more big-cat-like in the human body.

[justinefrischmanngf]

i don’t know how i’m ever going to have sex when even just hugging people is so significant to me……