#i will NEVER understand the hate that su got even if you didnt like it personally how can you deny the wonderful aspects of it
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prompt-master · 4 months ago
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ALL OF TUMBLR NEEDS TO APOLOGIZE TO HER RN ITS LONG OVERDUE
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pixieskie · 1 year ago
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˖˚˳⊹"i really do love you.. im sorry"˖˚˳⊹
-warnings: Angst, depress!on, su!c!dal thoughts, detachment, scars, body dysmorphia, disassociation, not proofread, chubby reader. -chars mentioned: Scaramouche -wc: 0.6k -a/n: i dont even know what to say.. Um this is .. something.. enjoy?
masterlist
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as someone who felt every emotion more intense than others, it also meant feeling more sad. it should've been fine but you simply couldn't feel happy.. you have friends and family but still felt so lonely..
“helloooo” scaramouche waved his hand infront of your face to get your attention.
Suddenly looking up, you see him frowning at you. “what’re you thinking so hard about.. do you not wanna watch the movie?”
“sorry.. i just spaced out” you said embarrassed.. “just continue the movie, ill pay attention this time”.. Scara simply muttered a small ‘fine’ and resumed it.
Scaramouche is your best friend, the one you share everything with. But.. he could never understand the depth of your emotions.. The void you feel inside.. The aching loneliness that consumes you at every moment.
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“Yes lets go to the beach!! itll be perf....”
“ooh i just bought a new bikini…..”
“wont it be too sunny? ill get tanne….”
you drowned out their conversation and thought of excuses to skip… you had no other choice.. a bikini wouldn't cover your scars, stretch marks or tummy fat.. it would be on display for everyone to see your insecurities and then they'd hate you.
“guys im sorry but i have to study this weekend.. exams are close”
“again? but didnt you say the same last week…”
“oh come on! itll be so fun…”
“ugh she does the same everytime…”
Ofcourse they wouldn't understand.. They had the perfect body..
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The words were blurred as you tried to read them.. Nothing made sense to you anymore.. Your exams were near and you have to study but the words together don't make sense anymore..
Sighing, you went to splash some water on your face to wake yourself up. Looking up into the mirror, you saw failure.. Someone who cant study.. Someone who wouldnt be able to make a living..
You sat back down at your desk.. You can study and change your future right? its just a book..
But.. you cant make yourself read the words anymore.. you felt so tired..
Why cant you also be like others?.. Everyone else is so successful and perfect.. They have good grades, perfect body and happy lives..
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You sat on the edge of the roof.. This used to be your hang out spot with Scara but eventually you both stopped meeting there.
“where the fuc- YOURE HERE?” Scara dramatically sighed, huffing. “Ive been searching all over for you. Come on, ive made dinner.. you have to eat something”
You chucked softly at his caring nature and nodded silently.. “Scara?” he was about to leave but turned back to look at you “yeah?”
“I love you”
He chuckled in confusion “yeah yeah i get it, i love you too. no need to get all sentimental with me, its just dinner.”
You turned back to the sky once he left. He probably went to your kitchen to fill a plate for you..
You smiled at the thought. He was the best person you could've asked for..
And it hurts. He cared for you so much but you couldn't appreciate it..
Leaving never had to be this painful.. But a tear fell down and you closed your eyes, recounting your memories..
There were so many happy moments you never got to enjoy.. Sad moments you stayed numb.. And the huge gap in your memory.. and nobody knew how you felt because you never let them.
‘Im so tired… Im so tired..” You looked at your feet, dangling off the roof.. ‘i hate this .. i dont wanna do this.. but theres nothing else to be done’
You took a deep breath in.. “i really do love you.. im sorry”...
…..
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tags: @rubywonu @stygianoir @unsavoy-melon @kashiiwi @babbledabble25
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gale-gentlepenguin · 2 years ago
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In your opinion, what are the top three peaks of worst narrative choice in Miraculous?
An interesting question, because with Narrative choices, its not so much one episode its the impact it has throughout the series.
But because I dont want to solely be Negative. I will also pick 3 POSITIVE narrative peaks as well. (I am only talking about what has aired so far. there could be choices later on I dont like or enjoy more than before. But we will see)
3rd worst
Su Han and the Order of Guardians
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me too luka, me too.
Honestly the whole thing with Feast. which i thought would make this list, but nope. Because of Su han, I think Feast did the world a f***ing favor
Su Han is still my least favorite character. He is a stick in the mud that comes to yell and does nothing. The fact that he shows up in season 4 and doesnt even help Marinette with Guardian stuff is bulls***. He should be helping by teaching Mirakungfu, or anything!
Really, he only exists to show that Fu really made the best out of a s*** situation. When the order was beaten by a 4 FOOT TALL BLUE DOG, Having met Su Han, I understand why now.
3rd Best
Marinette telling Alya she's Ladybug
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So this one is something many people are on the fence about. If you like this choice, you like or tolerate Alya. If you dont, you hate alya.
I for one Love Alya and Marinette who was sinking in her new responsibility gains a confidant that wants to help and do whats best for her. (she is like 80/20 on that but still, its the thought that counts)
Alya does help flesh out somethings and helps Marinette grow as a guardian and is probably the reason Chat noir didnt f***ing ditch earlier than kuro neko.
Alya even showed to be a somewhat competent ladybug replacement. But thats out the window with the recent episodes. I still think this is one of the best choices made in season 4
2nd Worst
Sentimonsters are Sentient
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The show is weird with Sentimonsters. Now I dont know if Sentiadrien is 100% confirmed. But its gross how some sentimonsters are given more respect than others. It is like "Oh only the Human looking ones are sentient" Sentinino, Sentialec, Sentigabriel, sentibubbler all got controlled like puppets with no agency and no one gave a f***.
They should just be emotion's given form and nothing more. Because basically the peacock miraculous creates slaves. And its kind of f***ed up. Id put this at number one, but its still sort of being explored and if the show finds a way to give the sentimonsters full control or a means of not getting erased on a whim, I can over look it. But yea, its pretty bad.
2nd Best
Gabriel Getting all the other Miraculous
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I have wanted this since SEASON 2!
The problem with season 3 and 4 was the fact that Ladybug and Chat noir had access to so many powers, heroes and abilities that basically Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth were not even a threat anymore. That they could have taken him down at anytime if they were more active. Like no cap, why didnt Marinette give herself the snake AND horse when she went for Shadowmoth in Sentibubbler. Or the horse and Bee? Stun his butt and WIN.
With Gabriel having the miraculous, the tables and stakes are now high again. Ladybug and Chat noir are up against the wall. Thats where the tension needs to be if you want things to develop.
The Worst
Miracle Queen (The last 10 minutes)
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So this may seem like cheating but this episode really did a LOT and had a massive impact on the show. Lets have a check list.
It had Fu wipe his memories (something that apparently he could do but was never mentioned)
Chloé's growth and development is completely tossed out that she ends up exactly how she was in season 1 (and eventually worse)
The love rivals start dating the heroes because Marinette read Fu's letter which just told her "Life sucks and you gotta settle"
So basically it pulled a Deus ex machina out of its butt, destroyed the potential of a redemption arc and then make no means of seeing a struggle just poof, like it didnt even happen. And then the love rivals that had hardly any screen time (maybe like 2 episodes total with the heroes) are just dating.
The last one may have gotten axed but the first two are ever present and its horse crap.
The Best
Chat Blanc
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So this is gonna need some explaining. While I am not crazy about the time travel, and I am not crazy about all the things in the episode, or even how some of the trauma is handled. Chat Blanc is an excellent choice to show the viewer how things can go wrong.
Its not the scenario where Hawkmoth wins, its not the heroes winning. Its EVERYONE LOSES.
This episode took Season 3 to the darkest its been. I would have loved if it was several episodes. I would have loved if this was explored more. But the fact that the group took a concept fans have thought about and brought it to such an NTH degree
I 100% can say with certainty before this episode no one wrote Chat blanc in fanfiction as an end of world threat. Maybe a dangerous beast or feral cat. But NOT A COSMIC LEVEL THREAT.
This episode demonstrated how dangerous the powers of the miraculous are. It gave the viewer a reason on why Marinette and Adrien dont share their identities right away. Its because of the worst case scenario.
(I would have put origins, cause umbrella scene but thats not so much a narrative choice as it is the start of everything, but know its basically pseudo number one)
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kaleidosouls · 1 year ago
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SU reclaimed pearl rambles
im gonna use some annoying comments i got on my reclaimed pearl as a springboard for what i think could be interesting discussion because i think its good to engage with criticism/different opinions. but also if you talk to me like an asshole i want you to fuck off and i promised i wouldnt engage in that kind of stuff bc its not good for me and it doesnt Look good for me either.
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so i can talk about my thoughts but not engage directly, win win. its been months but im still really fond of the pearl i made specially this art. like it coudl be better but i like it well enough. just a little header so this isnt a boring post with only text
i think like, its good to establish ground rules that like, i think most of the poor reactions ive seen towards my art were missing, mostly in bad faith probably but in case theres ppl who earnestly want to understand. actually maybe i can format it like a little FAQ even though theyre not frequent or asked lskdjg just for outlining my points. ill put it behind a cut but ill frontline w this: if youre a fan of pearl in the show, this content is not for you. youre allowed to like whatever you want and so am i. if you like her, we probably wont get along and you probably will feel very personally irritated by how i FEEL about her, so just walk away now. im not gonna engage with petty shit taht juts boils down to 'im mad you dont like what i like'
onwards to more rambling / sorta responding to some criticism
i scrolled back and i guess i sorta never have actually done a proper full explanation post about this AU have i? or maybe i have and deleted it, i forgor
why did you change pearl?
because i hate her, simple as. i went from a huge SU fan to hating watching it (i did finish) and pearl is probably The biggest reason why, as like issues with her character seep into other aspects of the show that i also hate. like i mean i Realyl hate her. she makes the experience of watching the show really irritating and miserable for me. if you dont feel taht way about her thats totally normal and whatever but no one is gonna change my experience and feelings that i had watching SU since the 1st season was coming out.; anyway answering. there is a Lot i love about SU and want to engage with, so i had the idea of like,maybe ill just change pearl, cause i wanted to delete her, really, but she is one of the main characters and she hasa function as a character that you cant just do away with. essentially im just like, some guy, who draws, coping and trying to reclaim his teenage investimetn in this show. literally its just for ME. but if anyone else feels like i do, then they can enjoy it too. if somoene doesnt feel like i do, go watch like pearl fancams or smth. like ill never be able to literlaly change the show as it is, like its happened, and its a tragedy im trying to move on from (begrudgingly)
why do you hate pearl?
the long laundry list of reasons are probably apparent in the ways i remade her lol (theyre not i can tell ppl are gonna project whatever worst bad faith reason for any change i make) but tbh the core of it is this, which is like, beyond whatever traits she has and whatever: she reminds me of my abusers. always had, from season 1, but like it became worse as the series went on. its like really infurating and upsetting to watch SU bc of her. had my abusers been a different kind of person, maybe i wouldnt hate her so much (kinda doubt tbh). like her personality and behavior are like hough disgosting!!
why did you change (some physical trait about her design)?
i dont really necessarily have a PROBLEM with canon pearls design. over the years ive come to like SU's style less and less but like, gestures, whatever. like i didnt like it or anything but its not like a bit deal compared to the actual offender that is her personality and behavior. the reason i redesigned her at all is bc like, if i hadnt, i would still be thinking about the way she is in canon all the time. like ive visually associated her like, appearance with all the shit about her thta makes me upset so i had to so she didnt look like the same person anymore, and i can try to let go of some of the hatred in my heart. like i want to think about the thigns about SU that i loved and also the potential i always saw in it and canon pearl is like, an active obstacle to that, to the point taht i cant even see her without getting like irked. i tried to keep enough similar traits so from a glance youd be like, who the fuck- is that pearl? rather than like. completely change her entirely to whatever i wanted. i do want to like, its a creative exercise. i want to try and change the things that would make me happy to see gone but try to work within the constraints of the SU we Did get as much as i can tolerate. bc like.... if the sky was the limit then at this poin wed just have to throw the whole thing away and start from scratch. like its kinda not really very salvageable, like im not rewirting SU to be like a Good show or fix Everything, its kinda too broken. im just chnaging enough so i can look at the actual show, screenshots, songs etc, and not feel overcome wtih like the grief and irriatation of how much it sucked ass. its just so i can enjoy more of it again
i dont like your redesign for (insert reason)
cool. thanks for your input. youre welcome! eat my asshole. seriously though, like, shrugs. i didnt make it for anyone other than myself. tbh im not fully satisfied with it either bc i think the SU style is kinda ugly, so im at a crossroads. should i mostly abandon the SU style? ive like, tested out tweaking things, it mightve been noticeable in screenshot redraws. drawing within the SU style is to create that coping 'oh it was totally like this haha' vibe but maybe im old enough to not need that anymore lol. like ive heard ppl say shit like shes ugly, or like sneakily trying to imply im like, got some agenda over beauty or racism etc. like whatever, think whatever you want, its not for you. go back to sucking up to rebecca or smth like i cant take the og pearl away from you still i am open for like that kind of criticism like, do i have personal biases affecting my design decisions? probably. i do try to keep aware of why im choosing certain things, but really in this case i cant emphasize enough how like, irritating it is that i have to change her design at all. like its hard to come up w smth else when the rest of the cast ahs already been design to balance off the og pearl. i probably wouldnt change almost anything if the sight of her didnt piss me the fuck off! most of all i kinda wouldve preferred to keep her hair short bc it messes up the sillouete but it makes me think too much of canon pearl so i made it long :/ i was like let me tell you my design thought process: -im gonna try to keep as many recognizable traits about her design while taking away bit by bit until she doesnt look like the og pearl to me anymore and i dont feel angry seeing her. pearl is lanky, tall, spindly, with a gem on the forehead, blue white pink yellow pastel colors, large pointed nose. i kinda tried to keep these traits while slightly tweaking their design until she looked different enough. is it a good design? eh idk. like the purpose is to make me not hate her and it does that job
now this hate comment im gonna grace with keeping it intact except removing the person bc its not about them. its like, a very stupid ass headed comment but im actually kind of interested in like,jumping off of it to ponder some things
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im not heterosexual or cis enough to know what exactly wife bate means in this context so im gonna like guess, that maybe i could extract this q from that reply (also not looking like shes from steven universe is a compliment thanks)
you took away her personality and made her boring
the only thing i can assume is that like, some people must interpret the absence of an assholey personality or like abusive behavior is 'boring'. i know thats a really bad faith assumption but like, if ive written down a bunch of personality traits and you still come out saying thats 'no personality' what am i to make of that lol. based on my experience like Existing online, people tend to often call nice characters 'boring', like dude ive done it before, but i think im kinda over that edgy phase. also again, its for me and not for you so if you think shes boring, thanks for your input i dont care. but thinkign about it earnestly, i dfeintely dont want to make a character thats just no flaw and not interesting ofc, i havent done that with reclaimed pearl. that being said i havent like, probably written a lot demonstrating what i want her to be like instead of the canon pearl so, maybe ppl just are feeling lost with the lack of information.
personally, if i hear someone thinks a character is boring bc theyre not abusive anymore like, nothing of value has been lost. but characters do need flaws in order to create conflict and cause things to happen, like in a way canon pearl is like All flaw, which wouldnt be a problem except she gets away wtih all the horrible shit she did. heres some traits i want to explore with reclaimed pearl, some are similar to canon i just wanna go about it a different way: being overprotective/possessive to steven in a smothering way, projecting abandonment issues, not reaching out/communicating her emotions properly, lacking indepedence/self worth, depending on others to avoid confronting her own issues, being very passive and insecure and lacking initiative (this being the totally opposite trait that canon pearl has), stunting stevens development due to her not being ready for him to grow up and not need her anymore. and more, this is just from the top of my head. maybe thats still too 'boring' for ppl because shes not being selfish and inconsiderate enough to others so you can relate to her but i dont care :p
gosh how do i go about like, presenting the content i ahve in my head for this AU).. i cantjust remake the whole damn show. i would if i could, tbh
i have concerns about racist implications wrt (insert thing here about my redesign)
imma be frank. i dont know how to compltely 'clean up' any possible bad associations wrt pearl as a character given how like, rebecca has literally like, made her to be a slave in love with her slave owner and made it to be like, an uwu ideal lesbiab thing for most of the show until they tried to pretend no we understood the flaws in this dynamic all along and its bad actually , uhh, anyway shows over haha
ill say the main reason i changed her skintone is, bc that would be the like most instant way to make her look differnt from canon (which is vital for me for the reasons said above), and i did consider like, does this make the whole thing worse, or, ?? like, as they made it in the show, techincally All the gems are slaves to the diamonds, arent they? including all the very totally progressive poc based gems including and specially the ones who are made to be understood as black women. bruh like idk what to tell you this show is just fuckig bad sdlgkj like its just way too like, pervasive in my teen years forme to throw the baby w the bathwater entirely. and ill just straight up say it, like, im not a specialist on these topics nor do i hav ea position of authority to speak on about it. like the pearls read more clearly as slaves (very intentionally by the showrunners) bc they are meant to be subservient to gems Other than diamonds. and also bc they like fit in the stereotype of housemaid servant. like the rubies being made to just be forced to go and fight like they are slaves too, they have no rights and no like, authority to disobey or autonomy. but fsr like, slavery as in physical labor just doesnt immeidately set off ppls alarms as much as housework slavery does fsr.
i can only rly like change the canon so much and try to like, tweak things so it doesn feel as gross but i think for it to be cmpletely not insneistive at all youd have to throw away the whole show. and like i said, this isnt like me saying like im making the show good or as it shouldve been, im making it so I (and ppl who share my feelings about the show) can feel less shitty just thinking back to it. its just an exercise. im not like mass media im just one independent artist and shit will come out insensitve sometimes and im sorry but im also like, my art isnt meant to be representative and like, responsiuble for fixing all of society and racism like i actually cant do that. ill just do the best i can as an asian dude but like, if my work makes you upset, im sorry, but also just block me. like i cant please everyone. or like, even better, make YOUR take on pearl taht you feel would be better, like make the art you feel should exist.
this post is too damn long and id be surprised if anyone reads all of it but if you do, tahnk you! i felt kinda like ready to fight tonight so im triyng to redirect it from aggression to like, thinking. i cant guarantee im making new content for su reclaimed anytime soon but i would really like to, tbh
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Yes, you are right. Yashiki is all heart. We saw this in the first game as he tried to help the ghosts and save all the mark bearers that came his way.
I would like to draw attention to the fact that Yashiki dm2 was trying to save everyone and this is what blinds and binds him. This is a good character but this is also his flaw is that he was TOO focused on saving people. Also this drive is how he solved the cases in death mark 1 which worked and he saved everyone. His only know case since then was red riding hood. He also states he is not a professional at this. I never really saw Yashikis failures as him not focusing on the departed because of plot foolishness, i saw it as him getting distracted trying to save people who are being targeted and everything working against him. Even i didnt question him not hunting the departed i just figured each ghost would lead him down the trail eventually like in dm1.
(The youtuber i watch also was calling out theories and totally got it right but i stated later in my argument Yashikis social struggles lead to missing these very anime obvious signs the culprit gave and just felt apart of his character cause to me he always seemed a bit awkward. The mark bearers are special cases cause they are so blunt they steam roll past his social issues.)
Yashiki is just a good guy who happens to have spirit powers. He is not a professional detective. He is not some fiction level of genius or by the skin of your teeth lucky. I think it makes him an even better portage since he isnt op spirit detective who can win all the time if you play the game right. He is just trying his best to figure it out. So if they keep with this we may never know who can be saved and i like the surprise element of the main character being able to fail.
Also even with his memories back I dont think during his life as Masamune they ever went ghost hunting to absolve spirits. Their family was fated to die by them so of course they only ever research what they needed to keep themselves alive like making sure Mary stays sealed and such. So even his life as a Kujo doesn't prep him for this.
On the note of the school girls. I hate giving labels unless stated in cannon but I the more i think about it the more it kinda makes sense Yashki may be a bit autistic since he seems so oblivious to their hinting at liking him. Which would also explain why he dosnt pick up hints on their sus behavior and difficulty handling some social situations. He has a sole focus on saving the ghost and finding ways to abate their grudges which explains why he gets pulled away from the Departed search cause he is obsessed with all ghosts and the secondary ghosts are more active easily distracting him with immediate need to resolve them.
Everyone is so used to competent know it all genius fictional characters, amazing fictional characters in amazing fictional situations that they forget that normal fictional characters in amazing fictional circumstances is a writing option. The plot is propelled by Yashiki being a normal dude with spirit powers. He is flawed but good hearted. He needs a hand to guid him but he is smart enough to understand what spirits desire. This is the polar opposite of death mark 1 where everyone could be saved and shows how much Yashiki dosnt know.
Just imagine what if Phoenix Wright instead of all his clients being not guilty he has one who fools him and through his truth finding skills he finds his client is actually guilty. Then he is just a guy who is good detective but can be fooled by a good actor because he wants to believe in the good of his client. A good hearted character with the flaw of over belief in the good within people.
This has been my TED talk on over analyzing why Yashiki is a dork and why death mark 2 is still a good game in my opinion. Ive seen bad game writing and this isnt bad to me since i enjoyed it still (except the school girls they are still cringe but it is a plot relevant cringe so it squeaks by just barely. Please never bring them back let them go have a normal school life away from here.)
Also to anyone who hates the fan diservice there was a really good theory someone wrote on why it happens and summery is Yashiki as the head of the kujou family of course was pressured into continuing the family line since it is usually the guys responsibility but he has a fear of seeing females in sexual situations. Which the ghosts who feed on that are playing off of which is also why this is less prevalent for Akira in DM:ng since he dose not share this same mentality. The analisys is somewhere on tumblr so just follow the death mark tag and you should find it. Credit to op who wrote that analysis its more of a shipping analysis but its a good theory to me (https://www.tumblr.com/buffaloborgine/746912353510211584/as-we-all-know-yashiki-and-mashita-pretty-much)
If Yashiki is so rich let him pay Mashita to follow him around as good cop and ghost cop detective lmao
Yashiki using ghosts to help Mashita solve one of his cases 0-0
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I went a little bit off once I actuallys tarted thinking.
What do you guys think tho, am I totally off or do I have a point here?
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wickedmoonsoul · 2 years ago
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This is something I would prefer to write in my journal, but I left it inside the house and I currently can’t get to it, so I’m just going to write it in here.
Last night me and my gf had this fight, it really sucked. We were talking about how our little chihuahua puppy needs a friend, and foe lol. She’s a handful and wants to fight all the time, so we thought if she had a kitty friend they’d probably play a lot. Unfortunately we live with my parents, and they hate cats. I recalled a time we had a cat here at the house and my parents couldn’t STAND it, it was only there because my ex had brought it, and she was living with us. So I told my gf “yeah, we used to-“ and i fucking froze because i didnt want to talk about the cat knowing it was my ex’s cat, and I knew she would ask me who’s cat it was or how i got it or something and I’d have to bring up my ex, so i just completely avoided it after. After that, she looked really upset and looked down at her phone and got quiet /.\ i asked if she was okay or upset, and at first she kept saying she was fine, but you know how you can feel when that’s not true. Then…wtf, idk for some reason i cant remember what happened next, like i cant remember word for word what was said and i dont want to make something up in replacement, i just know i ended up telling her how i was gonna tell her there was a cat here but it was my ex’s, i thought thats what she was upset about, but then she said no, it was because i said “yeah, we used to-“. She was upset about the “we” part, she thought i was still categorizing my ex with me as a we, like ew i just get ick even writing that. That person abused me mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. I know everyone says there ex’s are narcissists, sociopaths, all that..but i really fucking lived it. I have been traumatized through that whole experience, and all i felt in that relationship was STUCK. Honestly i can go on, and i was about to but its not even the point, i just cant stress how blessed and happy i feel every day to have escaped that situation, yeah escaped. I had my mom come rescue me across the states..had donations set up to help. When I met my gf i was still in the middle of the divorce, still retraumatizing myself for evidence (yet i never sued because i didnt have the money nor mental capacity..) and she was there for it a little, but even as friends i couldnt talk to her about it, because she never wanted to hear about it, and it would upset her..she had feelings for me fairly quickly so she just didn’t really listen to me about it..for a while i had grown resentful because i was always curious about her past relationships so i know how to better care and love her, understand her wounds. Whenever she brought them up i NEVER complained. For a while she was convinced i still loved my ex, which would frustrate me leading me to confess about my resentment. Down the line of our relationship i eventually got the chance to speak about it, and she had seen videos of the verbal abuse, and physical photos. Im not even sure if she had seen the bruises photos tbh /: im too scared to ask. I know i still need to go to therapy to deal with the trauma i dealt with, that was 3 years of confusing pain. Anyway, she knows all of that and saw it, she even heard this fucked up voicemail of hers. So idk i get caught off guard when she thinks i’d still have something for someone like that, she saw so much of the trauma.
Dude all of this was so long..i got a little off track, its just how my mind works, it goes into depth about so many fucking things. Im just trying to keep it together and understand it all. Anyway..
I meant we as in me and my family here in the house, we had a cat living here at one point. I tried explaining this to her and she started behaving as if she didn’t believe me..i started to panic because a few months ago something like this happened where she believed i had sex with someone, and she fell into this delusion so deeply that she truly believed it, even though this was a close friend of mine who was married and she went through all our messages and her “evidence” was me telling her i love you for giving me makeup ideas to buy my gf a birthday gift and she was into all the new trends and fads so i asked her, i do love all my friends and this friend of mine had helped me so much through my previous relationship and even came out here with her bestfriend to hangout because my dog passed away, she also just happened to be in town because she lives 4 hours away, and was staying in a neighboring city next to our town, so she wanted to cheer me up. This was a genuine friend who NEVER romanticized me or showed any sign of interest besides friendship..i tend to struggle with friendships because they end up falling for me idk, i dint want to sound like im full of myself because i dont even understand why..anyway, I let my gf call my friend because she asked, and my friend spoke about her husband and my gf started screaming at her all these bad words and hungup and she stormed out the house in the middle of an episode, and she disappeared on the 30th of december and i fucking fell apart, she went missing for 5 days , i thought she fucking killed herself cuz her phone went off the next morning at 11am . Her last words to me were “ i hate you dont come looking for me dont contact me leave me tf alone how could you do this to me fuck you” and she sped off in her car . I cried all new years eve. I didnt eat all those days she was gone, i almost lost my job because i abruptly left, i couldn’t work because i worked near ICU cleaning the patients room and seeing all the dying patients triggered so much pain and fear and worry. She was reported missing, we had helicopters looking all over the mountains and her phone remained off all those days. We found her car at a hospital but they told us she had been discharged the next day december 31, and walked off, (they had to lie) it had been 2 days since that day, so where did she walk to . Police finally got info and she was traced to this mental hospital 3 hours away. Her mom called me and warned me to prepare because she was saying hurtful things, and yeah, when she called she was still in the middle of her episode..it was really hard and i cant imagine how she fucking felt. What she was going through to make her burst this way..in november we ran into this guy who assaulted her years ago and is the reason she was put in a dangerous situation and has so much trauma (gang related) which triggered this mental breakdown when we left the scene, and the following month, one of her bestfriends passed away..she had ignored this friend so she carried guilt /: then on Christmas she went through my phone and saw a status i had made days before talking about something i did to my exs chapsticks before i had escaped. I thought it was a funny thing to share but alas, i am an idiot. I know I shouldn’t have made such a stupid post about somebody who doesn’t matter. I realized how wrong i was when i saw how much it upset her..i still feel like a moron about it to this day, i know that was so unacceptable.. and then lead the complete breakdown on the 30th..i was just scared all of this was going to happen again so i kept blabbering things, but it’s like im trying too hard to control things and keep them from getting out of hand from before that i almost sound so fucking phoney…and all this lead me to these thoughts that have been brewing about my childhood trauma, like some deep wounded shit. I am such an emotional person but at the same time, im very detached from my emotions. I detach to better handle situations level headed but then i start panicking and get lost in emotions..
This can honestly go on forever, i swear we experience lifetimes with one another.
Man im tired, im gonna type the rest later..it gets even deeper man idk. Idk if ill ever get to write it. I guess i’ll see.
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devildomwriter · 2 years ago
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Obey Me As Tumblr #13
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Leviathan: Secondhand embarrassment is pure agony and I wish a lot of comedy didn’t rely on it
I cannot deal with it, I have to literally leave the room
Solomon: It’s a sign of being extremely empathetic
Leviathan: Thanks! I hate it. How do I uninstall?
Solomon:
Depression tips
• kill the gods and eat their flesh to rise above human chemicals into horrifying immortality
Raphael: We need to talk
Simeon: Still don’t really understand how some people have trouble just being nice
Mephistopheles: Oh my gosh you’re such a nice person. Hey everybody come look at how much of a good person this is.
Simeon: I literally cannot comprehend how you got offended by this but thanks for proving my point anyway
Belphegor: When I get comfortable with people I start using them as pillows and foot rests
Beelzebub: When I get used as a pillow or foot rest I feel loved
Simeon: I am both of these people
Satan:
You know how there’s a theory that no two people see color the same way.
Does that mean color is like
A pigment of your imagination
Mephistopheles: YOU FUCKING DIDNT
Simeon: Huehuehue
Leviathan: #even that fucking laugh is a pun #i hate you all
Asmodeus: I’M HOME ALONE AND MY FAMILY FORGOT TO TELL ME THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE PAINTING OUR HOUSE SO I’VE BEEN REENACTING LES MIS AND I JUST VIOLENTLY THREW OPEN THE WINDOW TO YELL ‘CANNONS’ AND THE POOR GUY NEARLY FELL OFF HIS STEPLADDER
Asmodeus: DONT YOU DARE REBLOG THIS I MIGHT GET SUED
Leviathan: Sometimes I wake up with a very urgent thought on my mind and it’s usually pretty dumb like ‘je suis un pomme’ or ‘root beer fairytales’ but this morning I woke up and sat there for a second and all I could think was
Tis I,
The frenchiest fry
Belphegor: I am decayed. My lungs are full of thorns and mildew, my bones are held together by vines. I am fragile, be gentle with my corpse.
Lucifer: Get out of bed you’re going to school whether you like it our not.
Belphegor: I refuse.
Mammon: OMG so I just figured out the word “hurt” is past, present, and future. You will be hurt. You are hurt. You were hurt.
BECAUSE IF SOMETHING TRULY HURT, IT NEVER REALLY STOPS
Belphegor: you poetic little shit
Satan: It’s because…. It’s an adjective….
Lucifer: You will be stupid.
You are stupid.
You were stupid.
Mammon: Therapy got a drive-thru or summ?
MC: Welcome to shrink in a box can I take your disorder?
Leviathan: Why the fuck does English have a word for the act of throwing someone out a window, defenestration, but not for the day after tomorrow
Satan: Because you’re not looking hard enough
Overmorrow = the day after tomorrow
Ereyesterday = the day before yesterday
Example: I defenestrated my younger brother yesterday. I shall defenestrate my older brother overmorrow! Because I hate my family and also windows!
Satan: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.
Asmodeus: My favorite explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call
Lucifer: It’s called connotations
Asmodeus: Try this one on for size:
“Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.”
“Sorry, daddy, I’ve been naughty.”
Raphael: Great news! Language is now banned
Leviathan: Helpful grammar tip! Farther is for physical distance, further is for metaphorical distance, and father is for emotional distance!
Simeon: Who hurt you?
Leviathan: My father did you not read the post
Beelzebub: Isn’t it weird how you can actually feel pain in your chest and stomach when something really hurts your feelings
Solomon: This is actually because it activates your vagus nerve! Basically your body goes “we are so upset! We must be injured! Where???? On the inside guts! Those are confusing and hard to differentiate!!! Confusing guts are hurt!”
Leviathan: Great! How do I uninstall it?
Satan: Part of new internet grammar. Using question marks not to denote questions but upturns in voice, so that a tentative statement gets a question mark but a flatly delivered question doesn’t.
Mammon: Why would you do this
Leviathan: It just seems right?
Mammon: In a constant state of ‘how dare you assume I know what I’m doing’ but also ‘don’t you dare question me or what I’m doing’
Leviathan: “I have no idea what I’m doing and you can’t stop me.”
Simeon: Artists and writers have a lot to say about this post
Mammon: Why my hand shaky?
Barbatos: Your Skelton is ready to hatch
Mammon: This is so fucking ominous thank you
Asmodeus: Life is a highway
Asmodeus: Explain
Asmodeus: Wanna ride it all night long
Lucifer: Why did you reply to yourself?
Asmodeus: I refuse to share the spotlight but I like the meme format
Beelzebub: I haven’t ate anything since 11 bruh I’m starving
Thirteen: Damn an u how old now?
Last • Next
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calehenituseappreciation · 4 years ago
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Tommy thinking Sam Nook and Sam are two different people would lead to such funny senarios.
Especially if you apply this logic to everyone.
what if mexican dream and quackity are the same people and that was just him making fun of dream and making tommy laugh and tommy genuinely thinks dream killed mexican dream and that hes a different person
and when ranboo pretended to be killed by clarencio
he just doesnt realise
he thinks girl dream is someone else too
tubbo genuinely has a bunch of personalities and so he thinks theyre all different people (and also he doesnt realise theyre the same people a lot)
sam, in his normal voice: tommy do you have the- tommy, crying: what happened to sam nook?
sam proceeds to live as sam nook around tommy because he once tried to tell tommy sam nook isnt real and he started sobbing and so sam cant
sapnap, approaching sam on the site: hey sam can you do this for me? sam: su- tommy, running up: SAAAAAAM!? sam, in the sam nook voice: hello tommy! sapnap: wtf??? tommy: this is sam nook! :D have you met him? sapnap: what? thats just s- sam: shakes his head, behind tommy where he cant see sapnap: uhhhhh sam: takes out sword sapnap: h-hi sam nook! tommy: :D
sam is not the only person this happened to. 
tommy: technoblade???? techno, sneaking into l'manberg: uhhh techno, in a highpitched voice: no this is Clarencio tommy: the llama? techno, in high pitched voice: no the pig tommy: hmmm techno: sweats tommy: smiles brightly ok!!!! techno, under his breath: that worked??? tommy: wanna hang out with me? techno, in high piteched voice: i really need to go tommy: buttttttt :(
technoblade proceeds to have to pretend to be clarencio the pig and hang out with tommy all afternoon
phil, coming to check on techno: techno? techno, in a frilly pink dress, in a high pitched voice: hi tommy: phil!!!! have you met clarencio??? but not the llama!!! clarencio the pig!!! phil, holding back a laugh: is that so?
(defenitly happened before he got exiled, i refuse to change my mind)
everytime techno is caught he says hes clarencio (the pig) and tommy vouches for him each time and no one is able to bring themselves to tell him that clarencio (the pig) doesnt exist
sam nook, :handshake: clarencio the pic, :handshake:  mexican dream, (not girl dream) not being able to tell tommy their not real bc hed cry
IMAGINE IF TOMMY WAS GIVEN THE JOB OF LIKE BEING THE BORDER PEOPLE WHILE HE WAS WILBURS VICE BEFORE THE ELECTION AND PEOPLE WOULD JUST FAKE IDENTIES AND TOMMY WOULD JUST BELIVE EVERYONE
quackity: i demand to be allowed to join l'manberg! wilbur: ur american quackity: i shpould still be allowed! wilbur: just say your not, thats what everyone does quackity: what wilbur: just make a fake identity?? quackity: youre... the president???? wilbur: yeah and?? quackity: shouldnt you not be be endorsing that??? wilbur: i made tommy the border person. you think i care? quackity: sksksks quackity: still bad tho
the only one tommy never believes is dream, no matter what, he can just tell when someone is dream, like ya know those police dogs? the only reason he didnt realise girl dream was because girl dream is girl dream he thought it was just a dream thing
TOMMY THINKS BAD AND MONOCHROME BAD ARE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE
monochrome bad: tommy tommy: whomst? bad: oh uh recolourfies tommy, screaming: WHAT THE FUCK
tommy doesnt have object permanence but for people
techno, while tommy is staying with him: leaves room tommy, crying: I had a big brother once, i dont remember him tho
phil leaves them and (while stabbing wilbur) tommy just doesnt realize its him until techno says "dad?"
quackity works at wendys and tommy goes there everyday but doesnt realise its quackity
tommy went there since the war ended
and at the time didnt realise tommy cant tell and so when he and tommy started a mafia and became friends he thought tommy knew who he was and tommy once suggested going to dennys and quackity is like 'oh my god' and tommy is like my friend works there!!! and then they go to the one quackity works at and quackity is like 'haha funny' and then tommy asks around and then turns to quackity sadly like "my friend isnt here today D:" and then quackity is like o h
tommy, towards sam, in sams house: sam!!!!!! sam, who was sleeping, in his normal voice: w-what? tommy: sam!!! :D sam: hey tommy yawns whyd you wake me up? tommy: sorry but i really needed to ask you a question!!! sam: did you want to ask me where sam nook is again? tommy: welll.. that too but!!! you should meet sam nook!!!! sam: what tommy: please please please sam: no go back what did you ask? tommy: you need to meet sam nook! i think you'd be friends!!! :D sam, internally: shit sam: uhhh i dont really think i should- tommy: pleaasee uses puppy eyes sam: sure sam, internally: why did i say yes????
sam then has to pretend to be sam and sam nook at the same time
tommy: you're gonna love sam nook sam!!!! sam: uhuh tommy: where is he? :( sam: uh maybe hes behind you tommy: turns around to look sam: runs to other side of tommy sam, in sam nook voice: hello tommy!!! tommy: sam nook! have you met sam??? hes right here!!! gestures to sam who has to run behind him again tommy: sam say hi!!! sam, panting, in normal voice: hi tommy: whyre you all out of breath and shit???
this,,, just continues for a while
quackity, watching this exchange, driunking juice: sucks to suck sam: you'd do the same quackity: no. mexican dream is dead lol tommy, only hearing the last part: cries i miss mexican dream quackity, feeling sad: uh- we can revive him maybe? tommy: wipes tears YEAH! sam, whispers to quackity: told you so quackity, hisses to sam : shut up
quackity then has to pretend to revive himself while running around also he has to steal another one of dreams masks
honestly in this au everyone would hear about what happened during exile and stab dream (while pretending to be other people because ig in this au tommy still thinks dream was once his friend and yeh)
tommy, after crying infront of sam nook and telling him what dream did to him: so.. sniffs do you have any more quests for me to do? sam nook: i have one more quest tommy, cheering up: what is it!! sam nook: for myself tommy, confused: what is it? sam nook, taking out a glock: homocide
insanebur: you want to know why no one listens to you tommy? tommy, pouting, on the verge of tears: What? insanebur, unable to finish, clutching his heart: your too cute
this is just au where tommy is baby huh
wilbur isnt mad schlatt exiled him- hes mad he exiled tommy
schlatt and dream are the only ones not affected by tommys baby vibes and thats their downfall
tommy just has to call everyone a nickname, once, and everyone is melted
niki and jack: tommy is the fault of all our probelms we should kill him puffy: he. bonk is bonk baby bonk niki and jack: look over at tommy tommy, with sam in the distance: cries to sam because he cant find sam nook niki and jack: okay... maybe we should be less... violent...
Sam rlly just went
sam: looks at tommyinnit sam: nothing bad will ever happen to this child ever again
huh?
I’ve named this au, au where hes baby ur honour
tommy: i had zero parents (who care) tommy, gestures to puffy and sam: NOW I HAVE TWOOOOOOO
insanebur: god i fucking hate everyone tommy: even me? insanebur: except you tommy
sam: I AM THE TOMMY GAURDIAN! GAURDIAN OF THE TOMMY! sam @ anyone who wants to hurt him: FUCK OFFF
tommy canoanically understands the animal crossing language
ranboo: i can speak enderman! tommy: well i can speak creeper
whenever tommy gets overwhelemed around sam he burys himself he asks sam to cover for him in creeper
okay thats enough of that
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hwangsies · 4 years ago
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LIMERENCE
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(n) the state of becoming infatuated with another person
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pairing: hyunjin x female reader
summary: you haven’t spoken a word to hyunjin since he ghosted you after a fun new years eve together, so what’s the worst that could happen when fate (or chaeryong,...well, same thing) pairs you up for a road trip across the country?
warnings: e2l (ish), university student!au, non idol!au ,a lot of swearing. alcohol consumption,long flashback, mentions of infidelity, hyunjin is a giggly sweetheart, smut as in: dom!hyunjin, unprotected sex (wrap it up luvs),fingering, oral (f recieving), slight choking, praise kink, hand & strenght kink (manhandleing oopsie), slight overstimulation, hyunjin is really enthusiastic about consent (as you should be, periodt), reader is nervous and scared of hyunjins big pickle (ew i hate myself), motel sex (but it’s not trashy i promise!)
8.6 k words ,meaning grab a snack and a drink,
and enjoy!<3
---
"alright everyone" your professor rubs his hands together "that was it for today... i hope you all have a great break and i'm very exited to see all of you again next semester. hopefully in person again" he chuckles.
You and your classmates exchange goodbyes with him before one after the other exits the zoom call.
"fuck" you sigh after closing your laptop and lean back on your bed.
"you did it girl" your dormmate chaeryong claps, at which you giggle before shifting your eyes to her on the other side of the room.
She's sitting on her bed, folding her clothes before putting it in her suitcase thats placed in front of her.
"finally" you sit up and watch her roll up a pair of socks.
"my last class was yesterday and mrs kim teared up" she giggles "it was kinda cute not gonna lie"
"oh god" you snicker.
"hey did you find someone to take to yongin?" you ask, remebering chearyong talking about wanting to find someone to share gas expenses with in exchange for a ride to her hometown.
"oh yea, i did" she turn to you "i think you know him, seo changbin?"
You furrow your brows in thought, you feel like you've heard of the name.
"he's a music major, one year above us, hes also from yongin" she continues folding a pair of jeans "funny you'd ask actually cause he told me one of his friends was looking for a ride to seoul, isn't that where you're going?"
"Yea i was thinking about finding someone honestly because gas is really fucking expensive if you aint rich" you say, placing your laptop onto your nightstand.
"Mm you aint gotta tell me girl" chaeryong mumbles, folding a sweatshirt.
"so who's that friend?" you ask, stretching out on your bed.
"he's in his grade, hyunjin"
Your neck almost cracks from how fats you whip your head “hwang hyunjin?”
"Oh yea" she points at you "you know him?"
"unfortunately" you huff.
"o-oh, what"s the tea?" your roommate wiggles her brows at which you shake your head.
"nothing much really" you sigh, leaning back again "he's just like the most arrogant and stuck up fuckboy ever"
"wow, well thats not nothing" chaeryong laughs "any reason as to why you think that?"
"you could probably ask any girl on campus and she'll tell you the same" you scoff.
"really girl?" chaeryong squints an eye at you playfully "cause i've only heard of him being hot but never of him being a hoe. And you know i'm the first to know the hot gossip" she winks.
Laughing defeatedly, running your hand through your hair.
"it's just- we hit it off at the campus' new years eve party, like really hit it off- at least thats what i thought"
"oooh spill it spill it" chaeryong leaps over to your bed to sit at the end of it.
"well there's really not much to spill, i gave him my number and he was talking all that smack about taking me out and stuff aaand to make a long story short i never heard from him again"
"well" chaeryong speaks slowly, biting her lip guiltily "i dont think you'll be very happy about me giving changbin your number for him, then?"
"you did what???" your eyes almost pop out of your head.
"sooorryy" she jumps up from your bed, clutching her hands apologetically "i didnt know"
"aaaaarghh" you whine, burying your face in your pillow.
"maybe he won't even text you though" chaeryong tries to console you, but the damage is already done...
-
unknown number - hey i got this number from changbin, i heard you're driving up to seoul, i'd love to tag along if you're looking for someone to share expenses with -recieved at 9:12 am
You huff looking at the message on your phone.
After chaeryong had left last night you really convinced yourself that he couldn't possibly dare to reach out to you.
But here you are reading his message after just waking up, and your day is already ruined.
you - who is this? - sent at 9:56 am
You know who it is, but you're not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking that you do.
Scoffing when he answers almost immediately.
unknown number - this is hyunjin, did i reach the right person? - recieved at 9:57 am
You have two choices at this point.
1. be petty and bitter about a boy who probably doesn't even remember you.
Or 2. move on and help someone who is also just trying to get home and also maybe get some closure.
So you curse your mother for rasing you so well and suck it up.
you - yea sure, i planned on leaving tomorrow at around 6 pm - sent at 10:02 am
Damn you and your common human decency.
he sus - oh okay great :) i only have one suitcase and a backpack btw so i wont take up alot of space or anything - recieved at 10:05 am
he sus - also i feel weird bc i dont know ur name or anything changbin literally just sent me the number and nothing else lol, also 6 sounds good should we meet at the main building then? -sent at 10:06 am
You're quite honestly not shocked that he seems nice over text because he was the same when you met on new years eve.
you - sure lets meet at the main building, my car is white and my name is y/n - sent at 10:09 am
Cringing as you press the send button because you are 99% certain he won't answer anymore; not that you'd care, obviously.
he sus - alright y/n see you tomorrow at 6 then :) - recieved at 10:14 am
You raise your brows when your phone lights up with his message, does he really not remember you?
Was he that drunk?
Well, it doesnt matter because you don't want to pay for all this gas alone and he seems to be the next best option to fix that.
So you shrug it off and get out off bed to run some last errands and start packing.
-
Your heart is beating unreasonably fast when you take a turn towards the main building at 5:55 pm the next day.
Calm down y/n it’ll just be 5 hours and who says you have to talk to him?
However you do know deep in your heart that you only wanted to arrive just a little early so you could complain about him being late.
That plan got cut short because your eyes fall on him as you pull up to the main building.
He’s- oh my god he’s blonde. You stop your car and he looks up at you.
“it is you!” hyunjin smiles at you when you step out of the car.
“who else would it be?” you ask, a little irritated at his reaction.
His face drops a bit when he sees you clearly annoyed by him, but the doesn’t blame you; he’d be mad too.
You open your trunk for him to put his weirdly small suitcase into, looking him up and down as he lifts it inside.
He’s wearing dark baggy pants and a windbreaker jacket, the top part of his chin-length blonde hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail.
He seemed to have bulked up as well, shoulders looking broader than what you remember.
The hair is different than the jet black hair that you remember on him, but it suits him very well; to be honest he would look good in any hair colour, not that you’d care though.
The first thirty minutes of the ride go by agonizingly slow and in complete silence.
When you drive onto the freeway you can’t take it anymore and mumble something among the lines of ‘wanna listen to some music?’.
You don’t wait for an answer, pressing the radio button right as you finish your sentence.
“uh, actually” hyunjin starts, his hand lifting to turn the radio back off, your eyes snap towards him, is he serious? Turning off your radio in your car?
“I wanted to address this situation” he says rather quietly.
You scoff “what? You realized that this is awkward just now?”
“no- I mean- yes I understand why you would think that but I just really want a chance to explain myself” he stutters.
“explain yourself” you repeat after him before mumbling “sure because there’s so much to explain”
“listen, I know you think I’m an asshole who just ghosted you b-“
“listen, I can handle rejection, you could’ve just said that you weren’t looking for something serious and I would’ve accepted that. The thing I’m mad about though is you literally making false promises and shit” 
Hyunjin blinks at you “can I please just explain to you what happened?”
You let out a long huff “sure” you wave your hand “go ahead”
“when you and your friends left at around 4, you wrote your number on my arm with your eyeliner, correct?” he asks.
Glancing over at him, you nod.
“after you where gone, I was already pretty drunk but then my friends decided to drag me with them to a different party that was still going” you see him fiddling with his hands in your peripheral “well I got super fucking shitfaced at that party and ended up puking on this one guys shoes”
You raise your eyebrows and hold back a laugh, which he notices.
“its okay you can laugh” he chuckles as well.
“anyways that guy was not very happy about it and busted my lip before kicking me and my friends out, so then back in the dorm my roommate sat me in the shower because I was full of alcohol, blood and puke”
“ew” you chime in.
“and when I woke up the next morning your number was gone” hyunjin looks over at you “we don’t have any mutual friends, I didn’t know what your major is so I couldn’t even asks for you in the administrating office, and then the covid lockdown happened and here we are”
“you called the administrating office?” you look over at him, he nods a little smile on his stupid pretty lips.
“yep, so, sorry to tell you but your eyeliner is not waterproof” he jokes at which you playfully knit your brows at him.
“believe me, I wanted to text you. I really wanted to take you out; and when you sent me your name yesterday I didn’t know if this was a lucky coincidence or if you’re a different y/n, that’s why I didn’t say anything” he explains.
You take a deep breath as you realize you have to apologize for going off on him just now, you believe him but you hate apologizing.
“well, I feel like an ass for going off on you like that after hearing all this” you chuckle “I’m sorry” you eye him shortly before looking back on the road.
“it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize I get how it looked, very much sus” he laughs with you.
-
Coming back to your car after you took a bathroom break on a highway rest-stop, you see hyunjin sitting in the drivers seat.
“what do you think you’re doing?” you smile as you sit down on the passenger seat.
“I thought maybe you’d like to sleep since its dark already and you’ve been driving for almost 3 hours” he suggests while putting on his seatbelt.
“well, I wont say no to that” you shrug and put your seatbelt on as well.
“so when did you go blonde?” you ask curiously.
“uh- around end of june” hyunjin chuckles “it was a dare if I’m being honest but I ended up liking it and got it redone”
“oh okay” you check out his profile once more and follow his hair with your eyes “I like it”
“yea?”
“yea, which is weird cause I’m usually not into blondes at all” you wonder.
“hm” he grins “must be me then” he says before winking at you.
“pfff, in your dreams” you rebuttal playfully, at which he laughs and mumbles a ‘true’.
You don’t react to it because you think your ears are playing tricks on you.
“hey I have a question too” hyunjin says.
“what’s up” you lean your arm against the window as you look over at him.
His face is slightly lit by the lights of the other cars, no seriously, how can a side profile be so perfect?
“why did you even agree to take me with you if you thought I ghosted you?” he grins.
You laugh “well, I’m a nice person and I know not a lot of people there are from seoul and my mom raised me right, okay?”
“okay okay” he giggles, the way his eyes crinkle when he does makes you smile everytime.
“or…did you have such a good time with me on new years that you just had to jump on this opportunity?” he quips, carefully stealing a peek at you.
“sure, why do you think I was so upset when you didn’t text” you feign sadness.
The both of you laugh before falling into comfortable silence.
When looking outside your window, you think back to said new years eve.
-(flashback)
“oh my god” you said, stepping into the big hall that usually is the universities gym. But whoever planned this outdid themselves.
A dj was placed on one of the tribunes and a whole buffet of drinks and punches on the other, as well as a big disco ball hanging from the ceiling, making the room shimmery and shiny.
You could see people coming out of the doors that connected into the universities hall on one side and into the locker rooms on the others, as if it wasn’t already packed.
“this is fucking insane” lia, your roommate from last semester, squeaked while grabbing your arm and jumping a little, her voice overpowering the blasting music..
“I wanna get fucking hammered tonight” you turned to her.
“oh babe don’t worry,  we didn’t come here to drink soda” she laughed before spotting some of your other friends.
About five minutes before midnight you and some more girls gathered at the buffet of drinks and started doing shots.
You all had decided that instead of kissing someone at 12 o’clock you’d ring in 2020 with a shot, because alcohol can’t cheat on you.
You were laughing at something when some people started the countdown.
10!
9!
8!
7!
6!
5!
4!
3!
2!
1!
“HAPPY NEW YEAR”
Every one shouted and celebrated in union as you downed your shot.
“happy new year babe” lia hugged you after downing hers.
“happy new year!” you shouted into her ear, full of relief that this stressful year was over.
“lets do another one” she grinned widely after your whole friend group had shared their wishes with each other.
A girl you didn’t know very well handed you another shot, just as you emptied your glass you heard a guy yell something before stumbling into your back.
“jesus” you stumbled forward a bit before turning around, ready to throw someone a dirty look.
“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” in front of you suddenly stood a tall dark haired young man with almost too perfect facial features, frowning a little out of concern.
“nothing happened” you smiled, taking a step towards him so he’d hear you better.
“I’m glad” he replied, a grin slowly stretched across his handsome face
“I’m y/n” you giggled as you held out your hand.
His eyes crinkled with his smile as he took your hand in his “I’m hyunjin” he said before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.
“okay guys let her have her fun lets go over there” you hear lia usher your friends away from behind you.
“happy new year y/n” he said before instinctively pulling you a little closer to him when a group of people passed behind you.
“happy new year hyunjin” you replied, a slow blush creeping on your face from how intensely he was taking in your appearance.
“well yea happy fucking new years to me for running into you” he joked before taking a sip, your brain wasn’t able to function anymore so you just giggled and nervously pushed your hair behind your ear.
It had been way too long since you’d talked to a guy, especially someone as attractive as him
“you’re fucking stunning” hyunjin complimented you and lifted your hand with his to make you spin for him, to which you complied because you took a long time getting ready and always appreciate being appreciated.
“thank you” you were crimson red by now but hoped he wouldn’t see because of the dimmed lights.
“how come I’ve never seen you around? I would’ve remembered you” he tilted his head.
“oh this was my first year here and I live on the other side of campus so…” you nodded slowly “but yea I would’ve remembered you too”
He grinned before downing his drink and putting on the table next to the both of you.
“wanna dance?”
That’s how you found yourself on the dance floor with hyunjin pressed against your back.
Slowly but surely the alcohol made you braver; and it didn’t take long for the dj to play perfect songs to grind yourself against his toned body to.
His reaction was instant, hands gripping even harder at your waist and his own movements matching your own.
You looked back at him just to have the air knocked out of your lungs, a barely there sheen of sweat was covering his forehead; his pupils were dilated and his lips were slightly parted before his tongue swiftly swept over his lower lip.
He looked like sex on legs and moved like it too.
His plump lips formed into a grin when he noticed you staring, you didn’t know if it was the alcohol running through your system but you so desperately wanted to kiss him.
“can’t stop looking at you either, pretty” he lowered his head to mumble against your cheek before pressing a kiss there.
“you’re so goddamn sexy” you blurted out as you turned around to face him, running one of your hands through his dark hair before positioning them on his firm chest.
He threw back his head as his chest vibrated with laughter.
“don’t laugh at me” you laughed as you locked eyes again.
“you’re cute when you’re drunk” hyunjin brought one hand to your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.
“you dont even know me sober” you giggle “also i’m not drunk!” you protested playfully, his hands found your waist in the meantime to pull you flush to his body; at which you gasped almost inaudibly.
“oh really?” he looked down at you, clearly amused “didn’t you drink like 5 shots half an hour ago?”
“well well well, I didn’t know I had an audience” you countered, looping your arms around his neck.
Hyunjin prodded at the inside of his cheek with his tongue before looking away for a swift second, slightly embarrassed because he just exposed himself.
You felt yourself gush a little when he licked his lips again after bringing his gaze back to you.
“so you almost knocked me over on purpose?” you grinned even bigger when he shook his head laughingly.
“listen” he chuckled, leaning down unnecessarily close because you could hear him perfectly fine but you weren’t going to complain.
“I actually didn’t run into you on purpose, that was my friends doing after he saw me notice you” he said.
You mouthed an ‘ahh’ while nodding, feigning disbelief.
“I’m serious” hyunjin laughed “I still have to thank him later; I would’ve probably chickened out”
He got quieter at the end of his sentence, his eyes jumping to your lips when you wet your lower lip with your tongue quickly.
“i-m glad he pushed you then” you replied, trying to hide the fact that your heart was pumping your blood in record time.
“yea” he inched his face closer to yours as you tilted your chin up to meet him in the middle “me too”
His eyes switched from your lips to your eyes one more time before closing the gap between the both of you.
His lips were firm but soft at the same time in the way they moulded against yours, you swore you could hear lia squealing from somewhere but maybe you were just hearing things.
But when his tongue touched yours in the most tentative way you lost contact to what was going on around you, slinging your arms tighter around his neck and deepening the kiss.
A tiny groan escaped hyunjins throat when you carded your fingers through his hair to tug on it and release some of the adrenalin that rushed through you.
He was slow and explorative and let you take control from time to time before sucking on your lower lip and making you loose it.
You didn’t know how many songs had passed; to be honest you didn’t even remember what song was playing when you started kissing.
All you knew in that moment was hyunjins lightly flushed cheeks, swollen lips and dark glistening eyes.
“let’s go somewhere else?” he questioned in a whisper when you bit your lip, nodding at his question.
He grabbed your hand in his before manoeuvring the both of you through the dancing and celebrating crowd.
Before you knew it, hyunjin pulled you into the entrance hall of the university where multiple people had the same idea as you.
Couples scattered across the big room, some just talking, most of them however making out heavily.
“come on” he softly tugged at your hand, smiling when your gaze falls on him.
He lead you up the big flight of stairs onto a floor of the building you’ve never been to, stopping in front of a random room before pulling a small set of keys out of his back pocket.
After unlocking the door, he opened it to let you step inside.
It was a dance studio, the wall right across from you was just one huge mirror through which you could see the big couch in the back of the room and the water dispensers next to it.
“why do you have the keys for this room?” you asked, giggling.
Hyunjin grinned as he closed the door “I’m a dance major, we all have keys for the practice rooms”
“that’s so cool” you beamed “I wish I could dance” you looked around the room, walking towards the mirrored wall a little bit.
“you were moving just fine earlier” hyunjin came up behind you, nimble hands finding your waist as he looked you up and down through the mirror intensely, now that you were under the bright lights of the room.
You couldn’t help but to smile a little at that, the tight little glitter dress that you had chosen really did accentuate your curves in the best way possible, paired with the cute black heels which made your legs look way longer than they actually are.
“but that was like club sexy dancing, you know?” you elaborated.
“hm” he hummed amusedly “whats wrong with sexy club dancing?” you turned around to him.
He didn’t look to shabby himself, all in black, a chic button up with some jeans and a belt; accessorized with rings on his pretty fingers, a  dainty silver necklace and some small earrings.
Some might say he was underdressed, but the way he carried himself with such confidence, and that face of his must for sure be a panty dropper, you thought.
“nothing but… I don’t know, teach me something” you pleaded.
“what do you want me to teach you?” he laughed.
“I don’t know a pirouette or something” you suggested, laughing as well.
“okay” he grinned “this is like the base stance” he positioned himself correctly before looking at you to see if you were following his instructions.
“mhm” you hummed, replicating what he was doing.
“and then you get momentum with one leg to be able to swing yourself around, like this” hyunjin explained before executing a perfect pirouette and ending it back in the base stance.
“that was fast” you chuckled.
“your turn” he grins before moving behind you “try to keep your eyes on yourself in the mirror otherwise you’ll loose balance”
“okay” you said unsurely.
“I’ll catch you if you fall” he winked at you, at which you scoff playfully before carefully swinging yourself into a pirouette.
You landed on wobbly legs but before you could tip over hyunjin stabilized you with a firm grip on your hips.
“you’re a natural” he grinned at you through the mirror.
“well thank you” you playfully feigned cockiness before he spun you around himself.
A few seconds pass of the both of you taking in each others features in silence, the only thing you could hear was the faint music of the party downstairs, before hyunjin spoke up.
“can I kiss you?”
You fell into giggles again as you let your forehead rest against his collarbone before looking up again “we’ve kissed before”
“yea but that was like a moment and I don’t want to catch you off guard or anything” he mumbles cutely.
“mm” you nod “ you can kiss me”
And with a smile, he does.
You weren’t surprised when his first gentle ministrations turned into more desperate ones rather quickly because you could feel the warmth spread in your lower regions as well.
He walked the both of you over to the couch, only parting from your lips when he sat down on the black leather material of the couch.
“come here, pretty girl” he took your hand to help you straddle him, your dress riding up but you couldn’t care less if he saw your safety shorts, and he didn’t seem to care either by the way he feverishly connected your lips again.
His hands travelled down to squeeze at your waist before smoothing over your ass and grabbing a handful of each cheek, you moaned into the kiss when you realized how big his hands were.
Your own hands were squeezing at his shoulders before one moved into his soft hair while the other softly rested on his cheek.
The kiss was messy and desperate, teeth clinking together and tongues licking at each other.
The things that riled you up the most however were his groans and praises.
“you’re so fucking sexy” he groaned before moving down to kiss at your jaw and down your neck.
A needy whimper escaped from your throat when he started suckling the sensitive skin at the base of your throat.
“fuck-hyunjin” you moaned when his teeth grazed over your clavicle.
Your hands fumbled before landing on his belt, at which he pulled away from your skin, gently taking your hands off of his belt.
“I’d love to take you out first, actually” his pretty kiss swollen lips twitched up into a shy smile as he pants.
“oh” you were taken aback, you were almost certain that this was something regular for him “I thought-“
“I mean if you just want to fuck we can fuck of course” he chuckled “but- I actually think you’re really cute and fun and I’d love to get to know you better”
Your mouth stood a little agape “uh- I mean-I” you stuttered, your brain not functioning properly because of the alcohol running through your veins but also him!
“its okay if you just want, you know-“
“no!” you blurted out all over sudden, making him flinch a little “sorry, uhm- its just been a while since I had a date” you smile apologetically.
His expression visibly brightens “that’s okay” he giggled “so is that a yes?”
You grinned, leaning in to just barely brush your lips with his, his head twitching upwards in an attempt to connect them fully.
“yes” you whispered, at which he smiled brightly before pulling your in for a kiss by your neck.
-(flashback end)
“y/n”
“hey, y/n” you grumble when you feel someone gently rocking your shulder.
“mmm-what?” you peek your eyes open just to see hyunjin smile at you.
“good morning sunshine” he teases as you sit up in your seat when you realize you aren’t driving anymore.
“just kidding its not morning” he says as you look around your car, realizing your on a parking lot.
“where the fuck are we?” you whip your head towards him “did you bring me here to kill me? kidnap me?”
“wha?- no” he laughs “no, I’m sorry. Right after you fell asleep there was this huge traffic jam because of an accident and we stood there for almost 3 hours so I drove off and found this” he points out the rear window, where you see a small motel building.
You look back at him before checking the time on your phone, seeing it was indeed almost midnight.
“fuck” you swear to yourself.
“I didn’t know if you wanted to keep driving because I was getting tired so I thought maybe-“ hyunjin starts rambling guiltily, not wanting you to thing that this was an attempt to get in your pants.
“hey” you put your hand on his shoulder after taking off your seatbelt “this is good, you made the right decision I think we both could use some sleep” you say.
You each take your suitcases and walk inside, it’s an old building but it looks pretty clean for a motel off of the highway.
“good evening you two” an old lady sits behind the, probably just as old, reception.
“good evening, could we get 2 single rooms, please” hyunjin speaks up politely.
“I’m afraid we only have 2 double bed rooms available, if you’d like to take them, they will however be more expensive than the rooms for one” she explains politely.
“its okay, we’ll take one of those, please” you decide, hyunjins head snapping towards you.
“is that okay?” you ask him.
“yea- sure” he nods.
“alright, room 301 it is” she hands you the key before stating that you’ll have to checkout before 12 pm and what the room costs.
“do you accept card?” hyunjin asks at which the friendly old lady nods before taking his card and swiping it through her little machine.
“I’ll venmo you half of what you paid” you say after unlocking room 301.
He tsk’s at you before shaking his head “don’t, it was my idea so I’ll pay”
“are you sure?” you ask closing the door behind you when he turns on the lights.
“yup-oh” he exclaims.
“this room is cute” you say, it’s small but the walls are a soft sunflower yellow, decorated with paintings of autumn leaves .
The bed looks clean, and when you smell the mouse gray blankets and pillows, they smell fresh as well.
“stop smelling the pillows” hyunjin laughs.
“I’ve never been to a motel, I thought everything would be dirty or ancient” you confess comically.
He chuckles as he comes out of the small bathroom “the bathroom is clean too, don’t worry” he says when you look at him expectantly.
“I’ll sleep on the floor if you want” he offers as you open your suitcase to get out your toothbrush and pj’s.
“it’s fine, hyunjin I’ve slept in the same bed as a male before” you joke.
“well how am I supposed to know that?” he counters, at which you throw your pj shorts at him out of reflex.
When you realize what you had done it was too late, he was already holding them out in front of him before giggling.
“very cute choice” he mocks the small white shorts with red hearts all over it.
“stoop” you whine, trying to fish it out of his hands but he holds them over his head like a kindergartener.
“I remember why I don’t like you” you pout, crossing your arms.
His face drops alongside with his arms “I thought we were past that”
You use his moment of weakness to snatch your shorts out of his hands “gotcha”
-
“see I told you I was gonna take you out” hyunjin beams at you before looking down at the various snacks he took from the motels vending machine, which were laying in between the both of you on the bed.
“and so luxurious too” you joke, crossing your legs.
“only the best for you” he grins when you open a pack of fruit jellies.
“you know, I was thinking about new years” you say “ and I realized that it was your fault!”
Hyunjin throws his head back as he groans playfully “why?”
“if you hadn’t lost your phone when we got back downstairs, I wouldn’t have had to write my number on your arm; or you could’ve just given me your number and I could’ve text you. But you didn’t even know your own number!” you laugh in reminiscence.
“listen” he laughs “I was drunk and you’re hot! I couldn’t think” he defends himself before taking a bite off a chocolate bar.
You blush a little but play it off with a laugh.
“but yes, I admit, it was indeed my fault” he dramatically holds his hand in front of his eyes.
“yeeees!” you exclaim victoriously.
“I’m kidding though” you pat his knee “I forgive you”
“I’m glad” he smiles.
After the both of you are done eating way too many sweets, you find yourself being really comfortable when talking to hyunjin.
He’s funny, doesn’t seem like he’s full of himself and just in general seems like a very kind person.
“I thought you were a fuckboy when me met” you confess, looking at him.
Propped on one elbow looking down at you, while you lay on your side towards him, his face illuminated only by the little lights on each of your nightstands.
“you did?” he asks confusedly.
“yea” you chuckle “you were so confident and…sexy I don’t know” you place your hand over your face in embarrassment.
“oh that was the liquid courage talking, I’m usually pretty shy” he shakes his head smilingly when you peek through your fingers.
“don’t lie” you push his shoulder softly.
“I’m serious!” he laughs.
“you were the first guy to approach me at a party” you pause “like ever”
“no way, you’re lying now” he furrows his brows.
“nope” you shake your head.
“but I was really close to not talking to you as well, I’m sure there were many guys before me that just didn’t have the liquid courage, like I did” he speculates.
“maybe” you say.
“have any exes?” he asks after a few seconds.
“yea, one”
“well how did you meet him?”
“he showed me around on my first day of freshman year, I transferred like in the middle of the first semester so I wasn’t with any other freshmen” you tell him.
“why’d you break up if I may ask?” hyunjin asks carefully.
“oh we were only together for like three weeks, you can’t even call I relationship. He used me to make his hot ex jealous and cheated on me with her” you say “but hey they’re back together at least” you scoff.
“i’m sorry” he mumbles at which you look up at him.
“it’s not your fault” you chuckle.
“well, still no one should feel that way” he says “you know that you were way too good for him right?”
You nod.
“what about you? Have any exes?” you ask back.
He snickers “only one in seoul”
“why didn’t you last?”
“it was a long distance situation, she was super jealous and couldn’t trust me. which I can understand to a certain degree but everytime I went out she wanted me to facetime her and show her what kinds of people were there with me. That was just too much” he explains.
“wow” you chuckle “that doesn’t sound fun either”
Hyunjin shakes his head “nope, but hey we got rid of ‘em, didn’t we?”
“yea” you giggle “plus if I hadn’t broken up with him I would’ve probably never gone to the new years eve party”
“I guess I owe him something then” he grins as you scooch up on the bed.
“can I kiss you?” you ask after a few seconds of silence.
“hm?” hyunjins eyes almost spring out of his head.
“I don’t want to catch you off guard” you grin as you repeat his words from the night you met, sitting up.
He licks his lower lip as a grin stretches over his face as he sits up as well “do your worst”
You get up on your knees to shuffle over to him, when you get close enough hyunjin grabs one of your thighs and lifts it over his legs so you’re straddling him.
Once you sit down on his lap, your eyes lock again and you’re once again baffled as to how someone can be so god damn attractive.
His eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips expectantly, a shaky breath leaving his lips when you lean in.
Your lips connect and it feels like all the pent up energy of liking him since that night finally gets set free, sparks glowing behind your lit and his hands leaving a trail of fire where ever they go.
They squeeze at your thighs and waist, pulling you impossibly close to himself.
A whimper tears from your throat when his tongue licks at yours, he tastes like chocolate and what could only be described as him.
He moans into the kiss when you tug at the blonde locks that weren’t pulled back into the ponytail; before pulling the hair tie out of his hair to free it and finally card your fingers through all of the blonde glory.
Before you realize what’s going on, hyunjin lifts the both of you before dropping you on your back and crawling above you.
The fact that he just lifted the both of you from a sitting position as if you weigh nothing makes you feel all types of hot.
“you’re so hot holy shit” you pant as you push his long hair out of his face.
“ditto” he only grins before attaching his lips to your exposed collarbone and sucking a bruise into the skin.
“take it off” you moan as you tug on the dark blue calvin klein shirt he’s wearing.
His lips release the skin of your collarbone before sitting up to pull the shirt over his head.
If your mouth wasn’t already open from your heavy breathing, you would’ve opened it now because his body is more sculpted and toned than you had expected.
Your hand lifts to smooth over his abs, muscles flexing as he connects your lips again.
His one hand slides from your waist up to cup one of your breasts, gently palming the soft flesh.
“I know I said I wanted to take you out first but-“ he mumbles against your lips.
“you bought me a lovely dinner” you interrupt him, threading your fingers through the hair that’s falling down into his vision.
He grins, dropping a short peck to your lips before his the grin gets wiped off his face “I don’t have a condom with me”
“I’m on the pill” you let him know “I got tested before the lockdown and I haven’t been with anyone since soo…”
“yea, me too, I was tested a few months ago” he nods.
You nod back, biting your lip as you absently play with his hair.
“do you trust me?” hyunjin asks, observing your demeanour.
“yea- yea I do I’m just nervous” you smile awkwardly.
“no” he coos before kissing you “why are you nervous?”
“just haven’t been with anyone for a while” you confess.
Hyunjin nods understandingly “if you don’t want to do this we’ll stop”
“no I really want to” you look into his eyes as confidently as you can.
“okay” he smiles, planting his lips on yours again.
“can i?” his voice gives you goosebumps when he mumbles against the sensitive skin under your ear, his fingers slowy undoing the loose knot of your heart shorts.
“yes” you say when he locks eyes with you.
“I love these shorts” he softly presses a kiss to your knee, trying to calm your nerves a little, before he gently rocks your hips to pull them off of you.
You blush a little out of embarrassment but smile when you lift your hips to help him.
“cute” he whispers when he see’s your panties have a little bow on the front.
He chuckles when you hide your face in embarrassment, pulling you closer to him again by your thighs before you let him kiss you again.
“can I take this off too?” hyunjin whispers, softly pulling at the fabric of the tank top you’re wearing, at which you nod.
You are still wearing a bra when he pulls it off so you take it into your own hands and unclasp your bra.
Your nipples stiffen a little at the sudden exposure to air, as well as to hyunjin’s admiring gaze.
“fuck” he muses when palming your breasts in his big hands, gently pushing them together an running his thumbs over your nipples.
A whimper involuntarily leaves your lips when he wraps his plump lips around one of the perked up nubs and sucks gently.
“so fucking pretty, princess” you feel yourself pathetically clench around nothing at his praise.
You feel one of his hands wander downwards to provide some friction for you, he slots his lips against yours when you tentatively roll your hips against his hand.
Hyunjin feels his cock get even harder when an almost desperate moan tumbles from your lips against his. So he ads a little more pressure and starts circling your clit with two fingers, your sighs of pleasure mixing into the kiss.
“you’re so sensitive baby” he whispers as he parts his lips from yours “can I go down on you?” he grazes his lips over your chest, looking up at you seductively.
You nod as you bite your lip, hyunjin placing a few kisses on your tummy before shortly sitting up to also free you from your soaked panties.
The first stripe he licks up your slit, and how he swirls the tip of his tongue around your clit expertly sends you to heaven.
His hands are gripping your thighs to prevent you from closing your legs, your hands are tangled in his hair and the sheets.
“hyunj-fuck” you cry out when his tongue enters you.
He carefully prods one finger at your entrance “is that okay?” he asks, his voice hoarse and dripping with lust.
“yea” you sigh.
Once you adjust to one finger, he adds a second one, curling them upwards to search for that specific patch inside of you.
“yes-fuck right there” you moan when his fingers press onto the sweetest spot inside of you, tugging at his hair a little harshly. But you feel him moan against you, getting lost in your taste as he sucks your clit in between his soft lips.
Your hips buckle against his mouth as your eyes roll backwards, feeling the warmth of your orgasm approach rapidly.
“fuck fuck yes-hyunjin” you cry out just before he tipped you over the edge with his skillful ministration, your orgasm rushing up your spine and into your head, endorphins spreading everywhere.
A cry of pleasure fills the room as your thighs starts trembling with the aftershocks, clamping around his head when he drives you into overstimulation.
“oh-shit-“ you pant as you softly pushed on his forehead to get him away from your clit, his fingers still inside you, guiding you through your high.
He nibbles on your inner thigh apologetically. You can still hear your heartbeat in your ears after hyunjin removes his fingers from you and sits up, gently holding your legs together to help you calm down.
“fuck” you mewl, a soft smile tugging at his lips.
He’s wanted to do this for so long and there you are, with all of your naked glory in front of him.
While he’s daydreaming about you, you sit up and start fiddling with his sweatpants.
“you want more?” he quips, once he realises what you’re doing, leaning in to kiss you.
“mhm” you humm into the kiss affirmitavely when his hand holds you close to him by your jaw.
With a quick last peck to your lips he simultaneously shimmies the soft black sweats and his boxers off of himself.
You apparently visibly gulp at the sight of his cock because hyunjin smirks cockily “like what you see?” as he crawls above you again, his lips finding yours again and not waiting for an answer.
“I don’t know if you’ll fit” you mumble when he suckles at the soft nook of skin under your ear.
“we can stop here” he offers softly before locking eyes again.
You shake your head as you reach down to fist his length, slowly pumping it and smearing the few drops of precum around.
“no, you’re just really big” you huff with a shy smile on your lips at which hyunjin groans.
“you’re gonna be the death of me, you know?” he mutters against your lips before kissing you deeply, his hand smoothing over the slope of your waist before coming up to gently pinch at one of your nipples.
Eliciting a soft high pitched moan from you, this only spurs him on.
Rolling his tongue against yours desperately and making you taste yourself before sinfully sucking at the wet muscle.
All the while you’re stroking him with your small hand before cupping his balls, as if he didn’t already feel like he’s gonna blow his load way too early.
“please” you whine, guiding his reddened tip towards your entrance.
Hyunjin releases a shaky breath before replacing your hand with his, rutting his hips against yours a few times, coating his length in your wetness.
This already had your toes curling, suppressing a whine as you lock your legs around his waist.
“tell me if it hurts, yea?” he breathes, only pressing inside you after you nod, dropping a kiss to your swollen lips.
“fuck” he swears softly, tucking his face in the crook of your neck when he breaches your tight walls for the first time.
Your fingers tighten in his hair at the back of his neck when a subtle sting flares up inside of you.
“ah-“ your body flinches a little when he presses further inside, hyunjin notices, observing your expression before kissing your cheek and sitting up slowly.
“you’re doing so good, baby” he lifts his thumb to his lips, swiftly kitten-licking the digit before bringing it to where your bodies join.
Gently rolling your clit under his thumb to distract you from the pain.
“you look so perfect like this” his other hand travels over your stomach to gently squeeze at your breasts “all spread out for me”
You whimper, arching your back when hyunjin thrusts into you carefully; the pain slowly subsiding and the ache to be fully filled up by him growing exponentially when his cock rubs against your g spot.
“hyunjin” you moan, gripping onto his hand, which is resting atop your breast.
“yes baby, I’m here” he groans at how tight you feel once he’s balls deep inside of you, abandoning your clit to grab you by the hips for leverage.
His other hand resting on your cheek now, after a few trusts you moan “harder, please”
Hyunjin groans and fulfils your wish, at one particularly harsh thrust, you latch your lips around his pointer and middle finger, sucking at them.
“oh my god-that’s so fucking hot” he grunts through clenched teeth.
His cock dragging along your walls deliciously, filling you up to the brim as you hum around his slender fingers in pleasure.
“you like my hands that much baby?” his jaw is clenched and the grip on your waist is rough , the contrast to how sweet he was just a few minutes earlier had you clench around him furiously.
“fuck-“ he breathes when you nod to the best of your abilities, eyes wide open and holding his gaze.
You only release his fingers from in between your lips in favour for a loud high pitched moan when his other hand finds your clit again, rubbing harsh circles into the bud.
“-gonna cum-huynjin” you dig your nails into his biceps, eyes squeezing shut.
“yea?” he grits through his teeth the fingers that were previously trapped in your mouth now wrapping around your bared throat.
Not squeezing tightly, just resting there as if to show you that you’re his now.
Your thought gets confirmed when he rasps “you’re gonna date me after this, right pretty girl?”
You do look so pretty right now, tits bouncing and skin slapping because of the fast rhythm that he’s snapping his hips into yours, not to mention the subtle sheen of sweat that’s coating the both of you.
A desperate breathy chuckle tumbles from your lips “ yes-yes fuck” you feel your second orgasm creeping up on you.
“cum for me princess, all over my cock” he urges you on, his tip hammering into the sweet spot inside of you repeatedly before you crash into your second high of the night.
Your body convulses in pleasure as you call out his name mixed with profanities, your toes curling so hard you’re not sure if you can ever uncurl them again, and your nails probably leaving painful indents in his skin.
His thumb on your clit slows down until you grab his hand for him to stop, his hand around your neck grabs your free one, holding both of your hands over your head now.
“so good, baby” he mumbles, kissing your lips; mostly just breathing into each other as he rocks you through every wave of your orgasm.
Hyunjin looses himself in you not long after with a guttural moan and his eyes squeezing shut.
You coax him through it when he rests his face against your neck again, running your fingertips through his damp hair and over his broad back, muscles tensing under your gentle touch.
i“don’t fall asleep on me” you whisper sneakily, grinning when he chuckles against your neck, tickling the soft skin there.
He props himself up again to scan over your features, pushing some hair out of your face before kissing you tenderly.
“you okay?” his hand resting at your temple as he gently runs his thumb over your hairline.
“more than” you assure him, cupping his cheeks to pull his lips onto yours again.You think you can never get enough of his lips, anything about him for that matter; not when he makes you feel so cared about and safe.
“so does this mean we’re dating now?” he whispers after he has cleaned you up and tucked the both of you in bed.
“hmh” you nod your head sleepily, positioned on his bare chest.
“so I can spoon you once we fall asleep?” he asks, grin evident in his voice.
“you can spoon me but you can’t wake me up in the middle of the night if you get horny” you mumble jokingly, enjoying his fingers running down your spine as your eyelids get heavier.
“okay” he giggles softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head before you whisper your good nights to each other.
And as promised, he doesn’t wake you up in the middle of the night because he’s horny.
It’s you who wakes him, because after 10 months of wasted time, you have a lot of catching up to do.
-
a/n: oml this is my first ever long fic so pls pls pls give me feedback, i had so much fun writing his even though it made me feel even more single but hey :))))
allsooo i waited til after work to publish this and i just saw i hit 500 followers?!?!?! thats crazy to me omg i started this like 2 months ago and so many ppl liked my stuff so much that they decided to follow me?? so i just wanna say thank u thank u thank u for hitting the follow button even though im very unorganized and everything i do is spontaneaous and not thought out well. but hey i guess there is a reason that u followed me so thank u!
(i’d love if u sent me an ask with the first one of my writings that u stumbled across, and how <3 ...only if u want tho no pressure) 
anyways thank u so much for reading if you’ve made it this far! i hope you have a great day/ night! much love
-aj
(this is a work of fiction and does not represent the real actions of stray kids or hwang hyunjin)
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randombubblegum · 3 years ago
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I wonder if it would be better for Awsten to admit VS hide who he dates. altho from what fans say online-it must be painful bc u r opening that person up to criticism. Also-what if any of these recent girls have been good for him & care about him? Shouldn't he judge who makes him happy?It's been a long time since Ciara- let him live! Whoever is next I just hope she stays away from interacting w fans online *manifesting*-Also I don't agree w posting her insta bc now shes got to deal with that?sry
this ask goes in 10 different directions im not sure i uh understand it all LOL but yeah i wonder….. im not sure if it would be better for him to be open or to hide it when he dates someone either?? like i can see why hed never want to be public again after ciara bc i cant imagine how awful a relationship tanking bc u got cheated on publicly would be…. but also as bad as what she did was ciara got a TONNNN of online hate and harassment that was frankly uncalled for and awsten did nothing to curb it and even egged it on so……
but also IF dog girl hadnt been so terminally online and influencer brainrotted they probably could have actually kept that relationship on the dl?? of course she immediately had to go and capitalize on it for attention and money from his fanbase so 🙄 and now that shes set the standard were all too smart and we know what to look for so we can sus it out when awstens hitting on some other blond girl online lol. bc he… cannot seem to have offline relationships???
i agree that none of these girls hes been involved with…. uhh basically ever have been good for him lol but hes also been pretty awful to them as well…. theres been a couple girls who didnt make it to dog girl or pink haired girl status hes had talking phases with and treated like shit so. i dunno. he just keeps the same self destructive patterns when looking for a partner and i rly dont know why.
but YES for the love of GOD the next person he dates needs to stay away from his fans. dont engage w them dont let the batshit parasocial ones cozy up to you dont let them treat you like a friend to get closer to awsten DONT use them for clout or audience or money… just dont engage w them at all bc if u acknowledge them they WILL run with it. parx and associates has a chronic fucking problem w this LOL
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marauder-exe · 5 years ago
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AU list!
hi! These are a bunch of Au’s that i could write,and you could request! (reposting because it didnt work the first time)
General
Fake dating (My personal favourite)
Soulmates
Coffee shop
Modern Royalty
Rockstar
Running From The Police
Rebel Against The Goverment
High School
University
Law school
Delayed-Flights-And-Were-Stuck-In-The-Airport-And-Its-Like-2Am
Roommates
Road Trip
Arranged Marriage
Im-Arranged-To-Marry-Your-Brother-But-Were-In-Love
Amnesia
Tattoo-Artist-And-Coffee-Shop-Worker
Loved-Since-Childhood
Professor-Student (of age)
Met-On-Holiday
More detailed
21.You were singing/playing guitar/etc. in the park to protest the war and a policeman tried to dismiss you for 'disturbing the peace' but you argued that you were promoting peace and things got heated and next thing you know you're being arrested for assaulting an officer. You intrigue me, so I'm here to bail you out and maybe take you on a date?
22.the nice one who everybody loves with the grumpy and strict one that the students hate and the students wonder?????????how what the fuck
23.we just had a one-night stand but a massive storm hit so now we’re snowed in, hello awkward
24. i sit at the rental booth at our local ice rink and watch you teach children how to skate
25. alternatively, i watch kids teach you how to skate because you’re a terrible skater
26. i’m running late to an important interview/meeting and you accidentally spill your hot cocoa all over my outfit
27. you’re my hot ski instructor and i’m failing the bunny hill
28. i slip on some ice and you’re the stranger who catches me
29.  i gave my winter coat to a homeless person and come into your store to warm up
30. our friends rent a cabin to go skiing and we’re the only ones who stay inside
31. you’re the asshole of our group and we don’t get along, but then i find out you make soup for the local shelter
32.we’re waiting in line for the club when you complain that your roommate stole your gloves so let me warm your hands up with mine
33.my family invites you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and i’m so sorry
34.the power goes out in our apartment building, but i’m not prepared for this, and you come to check on me
35.i’m having a snowball fight with my friend in the park and i hit you instead
36.a storm is delaying our flight home and i’m afraid of thunder, please talk to me while we wait
37. we’re both in small claims court and i got into a huge fight with the person suing me but you stepped in to hold me back before security got there
38. i drove two hours to the closest video rental store that’s still operating and you were checking out the only copy of the movie i was after
39. i hit you with my car but luckily you’re okay, but we should still exchange information i guess
40. i was worried about buying something off of someone creepy from craigslist but oh no you’re hot
41. my friend talked me into playing a drunken game of spin the bottle even though we’re all adults and now we have to make out
42. we both decided to take a [yoga/fencing/cooking etc] class and we’re the only two assholes not taking it seriously and everyone else is giving us dirty looks but we keep grinning over at each other
43. my date just made a scene in public and got arrested and now i’m stranded in a city without a ride home
44. sharing a cab together
45. you’re trying to get me to sign a petition and i have no idea what you’re talking about
46. you’re drunk at this festival and dancing on the table and when you eventually fell i caught you
47. we both play this stupid game online and you keep beating me every single goddamn time so i called you out and you are pretty cute but can you not
48. im a bartender and you just came in here without shoes sat down and ordered a chocolate volcano and idk what the fuck that is and im scared to ask
49. we are neighbours and every night at 3:14 am you start yodeling for no fucking reason??? why???? is that you yodeling??? its been 2 months???
50.im a pizza delivery person and i just delivered a pizza to someone in the middle of a satanic ritual and they gave me their number???
51. i woke up this morning to find you sitting in my living room with a goat in a poncho??? who are you??? why is the goat wearing a poncho??? how did you get the goat in here i live on the 12th floor???
52. we work out at the same gym and you always look super legit but i know you sing hannah montana in the shower and you know i know
53. im a cashier and i saw you stuffing you pants full of potatoes and i would stop you but you already have 27 and i want to see how many you can fit
54. its 4 am and im drunk as fuck in a mcdonalds and you have been watching my trying to eat this burger for 30 minutes
55. i was playing beer pong with a coin and i accidentally threw it right into your eye at a party
56. i’m at the beach and some kids thought it was funny to bury me in the sand when i dozed off can you please dig me out
57. it’s unbearably hot and we’re both fighting over the last handheld electrical fan at the shop at the amusement park
58. hey i just met you, and this is crazy, but i get sunburned really easily so can you please help me put sunscreen on my back?
59. thunderstorm after a menacing heatwave and we’re both getting weird looks for dancing in the rain
60.i have no idea who you are but you just fainted right in front of me holy shit dude you need to drink more in this heat
61. we both chased after the leaving ice cream van like ten-year-olds and now we’re both out of breath and a bit embarrassed
62.i clearly reserved this deck chair by putting a towel on it why on earth are you lying on it who the fuck do you think you are
63. My friends bet I wouldn’t buy these three weird and questionable items and you’re my cashier.
64.Once a week I go visit the pet store just to stare at the cute kittens and puppies and you’re the nice employee who always lets me hold them and wait I think I’m going to cry hold on.
65.You’re the DJ of the University’s radio station and every time you give an opinion on a current event I have to call and argue with you because could you seriously be anymore wrong?
66.We both wait tables at the same restaurant and you’re always mad at me by the end of the night because I make more in tips
67.We have the same class and once a week you wear this graphic shirt I don’t understand and I really want to ask you about it.
68.We both work at the same craft store that literally has no customers so we have nothing to do and I’m always reading at the register but you always have to criticize my book choice what the hell?
69.I’m working the concession stand for this week’s home game and this is the fifth time you’ve come back for snacks wait are you flirting with me?
70. we’re at a bookstore and you and I seem to have similar taste in books have you read this one? How about this one?
71. you look like you need help and I’m a professional roller/ice skater but I don’t want you to feel bad about how much you suck but wow you suck
72. You ordered your food before me and they gave you a drink you didn’t want so you gave it to me
73. We’re sitting at adjacent computers in the library and I’m taking extra care not to look at your screen out of respect but what the fuck do you keep laughing at
74. as a joke I yelled out “happy birthday to someone!” in this store and you called back “thank you!” who are you
75. You heard me talking about a TV show in class the other day and now you’re passionately yelling at me about how good it is we’ve never actually spoken before
76. It’s 10:30 at night and I left my glasses at home so I can’t read any of these labels and you’re one of the only people in the grocery store and GODDAMMIT DO YOU HAVE ANY TOMATO SAUCE WITHOUT CHUNKS
77. We go to the same support group; I have social anxiety and you’re a kleptomaniac who sorta stole my heart
78. You thought you were alone at the bus stop so early in the morning so you started passionately singing Fall Out Boy but your Patrick Stump impression could use some work and I’m not really afraid to point that out
79. I’m an artist and you have a really nice face so would you mind if I drew you?
80. We’re rival up-and-coming singers and every time one of us releases a new single the other does a cover to try to make it better; we’re always trying to top each other and out-cute each other, but half our fans aggressively ship us; our agents use this to their advantage and decide we should do a duet because it’ll be popular; unfortunately now that we’re in the same studio and I’ve seen what you’re like I really wanna know what your lips feel like
81.PLEASE I REALLY CANNOT FIND MY CAT AND I KNOW IT’S THREE A.M. BUT NEIL CATRICK HARRIS AND I WOULD BOTH APPRECIATE THE HELP
82. We were both stood up for dates at the same nice restaurant so we decide to eat together and split the check but I dunno you’re pretty interesting aside from your distractingly enormous eyebrows
83. We met at a mutual friend’s cheesy masquerade party and we agree that the only good thing about this party is the masks so you can’t judge a book by its cover only now that we’ve been talking I want to see your face but I don’t know how to ask
84. You used to date my friend who absolutely hates your guts after a messy breakup and now you’re flirting with me and I really shouldn’t be so interested in you but I am
85.We pass each other every day while we’re biking on the same path so we’ve started smiling at each other and one day you’re stopped because you’re having an asthma attack so I offer you my extra water bottle and now we’re talking and now I’M the one who’s breathless
86.I lost my little sibling in IKEA and I need your help finding them
87.I'm a private detective hired to follow you, but you're endearingly boring and mostly I just like watching you and oops, I sort of find you adorable.
88. You've been sketching me for half an hour now, and just shuffled up to hand me the finished product and it's TERRIBLE but you just wanted an excuse to talk to me.
89.  I'm at an art exhibit and I just badmouthed the art, because I don't get it, okay? And it turns out you're the artist. I'm so sorry, maybe I could get you coffee and you could explain what it was supposed to be?
90. We're the only two people who turned up to an underground gig and it should be awkward, but the band is amazing and you asked me to dance and hey, there's nobody watching but us.
91.  You live in the apartment next to me. We're not supposed to have pets, but I KNOW you have a cat. I'll make you a deal, I won't tell, if you let me pet it.
92.  I punched you because I thought you were insulting my friend, but it turns out you know each other and it was an inside joke and I'm so sorry, let me drive you to the hospital?
93. We both wanted to rent a bike for an hour but the only one they have is a tandem bike
94. I’m on a terrible date and you’re my waitor please help me
95.Our dick landlord just evicted us both
96.I’m your neighbor and I can hear you fucking someone who  shares my name
97. You’re sort of famous and we vaguely know each other through bumping into each other all the time but the media thinks we’re dating
98. Your roommate cheated on me and I just threw your laptop out the window thinking it was his
99. It’s 2am on the night of my 21st birthday and we gotta fix this fucking mess by morning or else we’re fucked
100.Fuck you and your bee farm I’ve had enough
Feel free to use any of these as your own! If you wanna request you could drop an inbox saying ‘ could you do ____ AU with this character’!
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theycallmegothboy · 4 years ago
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1-100 >:DDDD REVENGE!!!
FELIXXXXXXXXXXXX >:(( 1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  -spotify  2. is your room messy or clean? -it’s pretty messy i guess  3. what color are your eyes? -blue and grey
4. do you like your name? why? -yeah it’s fine 5. what is your relationship status? -single 6. describe your personality in 3 words or less -certified intrusive thot 7. what color hair do you have? -brown and rn it’s red 8. what kind of car do you drive? color? -i dont have a car 9. where do you shop? -hot topic, goodwill, target 10. how would you describe your style? -comfy emo 11. favorite social media account -of mine, probably discord or youtube 12. what size bed do you have? -twin >:(( 13. any siblings? -i have 1.5 brothers  14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? -probably vancouver, idk canada seems lit 15. favorite snapchat filter? -i like the one with devil horns and a tail but its cute 16. favorite makeup brand(s) -i dont wear makeup 17. how many times a week do you shower? -i used to shower every day, but i dont do anything that gets me dirty so like maybe 3 times but if i leave the house then i shower 18. favorite tv show? -stranger things 19. shoe size?  -8 or 9 20. how tall are you? -5′6 with shoes >:(( 21. sandals or sneakers? -sneakers wtf 22. do you go to the gym? -lol no 23. describe your dream date -making some pie or something together and then eating the pie and then sitting on some rooftop looking at stars 24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? -quite a bit actually but i’m saving up for a phone lol so soon it will be like maybe 10 dollars lmao 25. what color socks are you wearing? -not wearing socks but the ones i had earlier were white (ankle length) 26. how many pillows do you sleep with? -just one but it sucks 27. do you have a job? what do you do? -NO BUT IM TRYING TO GET A JOB BUT THE FUCKIN PEOPLE THERE ARE GHOSTING ME AND WONT REPLY TO MY EMAILS SO LIKE SBJHBJS 28. how many friends do you have? -like 4 lmao 29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? -idk nothing super bad but i do a lot of small shit that makes me feel guilty when i realize what i did 30. whats your favorite candle scent? -juniper rosewood 31. 3 favorite boy names -leo, clay, charlie 32. 3 favorite girl names -ivy, uh... idk thats all ive got 33. favorite actor? -no clue 34. favorite actress? -no clue 35. who is your celebrity crush? -not a celeb but i’d smash danny phantom 36. favorite movie? -nightmare before christmas or edward scissorhands 37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? -no, but my fav book is probably the prince and the pauper? idk 38. money or brains? -CASH MONEYYYY jk probably brains but if your entire personality is being “smart” like fuck off lmao   39. do you have a nickname? what is it? - a bunch of people call me son (see #49, #100), some call me rat, dumdum, goth boy
40.how many times have you been to the hospital? -just once i think when i was birthed. i also went once with my brother cause he kicked some scissors i left out on the floor and it sliced his toe the fuck open and he needed stitches and i watched him get the stitches and almost passed out :/ 41. top 10 favorite songs -please dont make me do this i dont have it in me 42. do you take any medications daily? -yea i take 20mg of vyvanse but i need to get it raised to 30 cause 20 is Not Enough 43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) -i got some dry fuckin skin yall dont even know 44. what is your biggest fear?  -it depends. the dark is a pretty constant one though 45. how many kids do you want? -like 2 or 3 eventually 46. whats your go to hair style? -in my face, looking stupid 47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)  -it’s pretty small 48. who is your role model? -i dont fuckin know lmao  49. what was the last compliment you received? - “i belive in you, my son, you’re an amazing human being“ (same friend mentioned in #100, not actually a parent of mine) 50. what was the last text you sent? -”no it’s a raccoon“ YOU GET NO CONTEXT LMAO 51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? -i dont think i ever hardcore believed in him, maybe i did though i remember sleeping under the tree one christmas eve waiting for him but i was like “oh yeah that makes sense“ i guess 52. what is your dream car?  -i honestly dont give a shit as long as it actually fucking works 53. opinion on smoking? -cigarettes? fuck no that’s nastyyy. weed? that’s fine i guess but wait till you’re like 18.  54. do you go to college? -no. am sophomore n highschool 55. what is your dream job?  -musician/palentologist 56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?  -fuck the suburbs lmao, but also im tired of rural, so like.. semi urban?? 57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?  -no but i take the little soaps >:)) 58. do you have freckles?  -yes 59. do you smile for pictures? -awkwardly, yes 60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?  -dont have a phone but i have like 12 on my computer currently. 4 are of me, the rest are of my cat or random shit 61. have you ever peed in the woods?  -yes 62. do you still watch cartoons?  -cartoons these days kinda suck but like if they were good fuck yeah i would like gravity falls can come hang yknow? 63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? -i had nuggets from mcdonalds today so i guess them? i dont really care 64. Favorite dipping sauce?  -i got sweet and sour but i dont like it that much. that schezuan sauce was great 65. what do you wear to bed?  -wouldnt you like to know? ;))  66. have you ever won a spelling bee?  -NO ive only been in two. the first one i misspelled the word “turmoil“ cause i had never heard it before and the second one i spelled the word “owed“ as “ode“ cause i was thinking like ode to joy and then i felt like a big Fool afterwards :(( 67. what are your hobbies? -lol what hobbies 68. can you draw?  -i am physically able to draw, but not well, no 69 (haha). do you play an instrument? -yeah i play a few 70. what was the last concert you saw?  -i saw Chicago in either georgia or tennessee i cant remember in like 2016 71. tea or coffee? -hot coffee, iced tea. NOT the other way around. (i love both though) 72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? -starbucks 73. do you want to get married? -sure why not 74. what is your crush’s first and last initial? -dont have a crush 75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?  -idk maybe 76. what color looks best on you?  -i dont know but i wear black a lot and that’s pretty dope 77. do you miss anyone right now? -yeah  78. do you sleep with your door open or closed? -closed 79. do you believe in ghosts? -on the fence. not 100% “oh my god look at these gHoSt oRbS i need to sage my house!!!“ but i accept that there’s some things i wont understand about the world and that i have no answers to. i wouldnt be surprised if there are, and i wouldnt be surprised if there aren’t. 80. what is your biggest pet peeve? -whatever my adhd decides i viscerally hate with a firey passion right at that moment  81. last person you called -my brother (the 1 of the 1.5 from #13 and the one who sliced his toe in #40) 82. favorite ice cream flavor?  -chocolate is dope 83. regular oreos or golden oreos?  -regular double stuff. if you say golden, mint, peppermint, or thin oreos i’m gonna have to euthanize you, i dont make the rules.  84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? -rainbow cause it’s prettier  85. what shirt are you wearing?  -queen shirt from hot topic 86. what is your phone background? -i didnt get a phone between question 60 and now but my computer one is some mountains with the moon in the background 87. are you outgoing or shy? -really depends on who i’m around 88. do you like it when people play with your hair? -YES FUCK AAAAAAA (this girl played with my hair literally once in middle school and i was like oh shit and i had a crush on her until the end of middle school true story,,, so ashley if you’re out there-) 89. do you like your neighbors? -to the left they’re fine and their dog is nice but idk what happened to the horses so that’s sus but that’s where our cat came from so they can hang  guess, behind me they’re fine but their boys are loud, to the right they’re fine, and even further to the right are the dope neighbors and waaaaaaaaaay far to the right is a llama and he’s dope as hell 90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? -whenever the fuck i remember to/have the energy 91. have you ever been high?  -i dont think so but i wouldnt put it past myself 92. have you ever been drunk?  -not that i can remember, no 93. last thing you ate?  -sloppy joe from a can 94. favorite lyrics right now -”not gonna waste my life, cause i’ve been fucked up“ 95. summer or winter?  -fall. fuck you 96. day or night?  -night but i like it when it’s actually night and it doesnt get dark at like 4 fucking pm cause that makes me depressed 97. dark, milk, or white chocolate? -dark is good, milk is fine, white is only suitable for fancy stripes on chocolate covered strawberries 98. favorite month?  -i vibe with september 99. what is your zodiac sign -sagittarius (was almost a scorpio but i was holding out >:))) 100. who was the last person you cried in front of?  -in person, my mom like 6 months ago, on a discord call, my friend (i love you by the way, you’re the best,,, i dont think he has tumblr but im just putting it out there) like a month or so ago. i hate crying in front of people, i turn into such a hyperventilating snot monster which is not suitable for human gaze and thats the real tea :/
felix this took like 2 hours of my life i will never get back i hate you and i hope you’re happy with what you’ve done <3 <3
also anyone who wants to stalk me, enjoy this information that im handing to you on a silver platter :)) <3
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gevejsbvdj · 4 years ago
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Pt. 2
the continuation of what inspired my leave beneath the cut
I have a friend, who I got along with really well because we are both Afro Latinas (only she can speak Spanish. I don’t, not really) and we are black kids who had an interest in unconventional topics. I messaged her before disappearing about the ending of the server. I was keeping her updated all throughout, but after telling her the ending, I left her on read
I won’t disclose what I got up to during my absence. But again, don’t think that I had a breakdown because of the server ONLY. It was the final straw. I had so much going on in my life and I couldn’t take it anymore. 
Anyways, she took it upon herself to send hateful messages to Ley’s account and thought it was something to be proud of and told me. I...wasn’t impressed. But I still didn’t respond to our chats. Then she (her name is Rex. I’m gonna call her that) dmed Ley and was actually pretty aggressive towards her in an attempt to get answers. Again, not impressed but it was enough for me to actually come online. I feel like that’s why she acted out, to get me online. I don’t think she cared about me and used my pain to hurt others.
I had extremely brief, passing conversations with people who weren’t involved with the situation at all right before I messaged Rex. 
Ley was special to me before her message. I was always very defensive and protective of her like I was everyone else, but her especially because I thought she was nice. And I remembered when people were being mean to me, she reached out. And I still appreciate her for doing that. 
Which was why it was so confusing when Rex told me that they were all mad at me because I ACCUSED JOANE OF GROOMING PEOPLE. They wanted a reason to make me the villain so badly that they made shit up.
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Notice how here, she says that I called Joane a FUCKING PEDO. Not even just a groomer but an outright PEDOPHILE. 
I’ve been raped. I’ve been sexually assaulted, groomed, all of that. I don’t say shit. I never say anything. I’ve even been accused- yes, ACTUALLY ACCUSED unlike Joane- to being a paedophile. I’m 19. Not even just that but I’m freshly 19. I got accused when I was 17. But I would never just- ughhhh moving on I don’t wanna get into it. 
When Rex asked for proof, this is way Ley sent her:
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In this screenshot, I’m literally discussing how Joane’s childish behaviour could get her killed. I was concerned. Again, where’s the bullying?
Rex told me that Ley said she was wrong for not having proof, and I understand. Ley wasn’t present when it all went down
But really Ley? 
I heard a quote from someone that said something like “if someone believed a lie about you without checking up on you first to see if there was proof, then they were already looking for something to destroy you with to begin with” or SOMETHING like that. So I thought back to that quote and felt awful. I always suspected that they didn’t really like me, but always marked it up to my depression talking nonsense. But after all of this...maybe it was true. Why did I come out the most damage? Why were they making up lies about me? Me, out of all of them. Why was I consistently being seen as the bad guy overall? No really tell me. 
Anyways, this was Ley’s justification to believe that I would say such an awful thing:
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Okay. Let’s just say that- Joane WAS a groomer. That she actually is a paedophile and I commented on it. She’s obviously not but I’m pulling a Ben Shapiro here. Everything else is the same only Joane is a paedophile. 
That motherfucking “it’s weird that he only spoke up when they were arguing” argument, and other arguments like that are so fucking toxic. As well as “well it wasn’t a problem that never came up before” so??? That’s what the fucking #metoo movement was all about. Timing means NOTHING when it comes to that. It doesn’t matter if it’s Joane or fucking Bill Cosby. The fact that thought came to Ley’s head is so fucking upsetting and DISGUSTING.THAT mentality is why people never want to believe victims of assault. Same goes for “they could have said that privately” guys she’s talking about that user who said they were uncomfortable with Joane coming onto him. Privately? It was private to him. In that server, we’ve made it known that it’s a very homey and comfortable environment. And who the fuck are you to tell someone where and when they can speak up about something like that???
Also, she accused me of calling her a pedo again. Good for me right? I’m a bully and I’m someone who just blindly calls people paedophiles. Good for me, damn. 
No, you shouldn’t believe someone right away when they call someone a groomer. God don’t I know that. But you definitely don’t say THAT what the fucking fuck. 
Jesus. Okay, moving on. 
Rex aggressively messaged Mel who had something similar to say:
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uggh, you WERE the toxic environment i wanted to flee from,.
It hurts. It hurts a lot to see another friend you looked up to call you a bully. And that they just say that you called someone a groomer when you didn’t. 
Mel couldn’t provide proof either. 
Mel also tagged her post with someone kinda ignorant. 
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Imagine if (thinking of someone I and others don’t always agree with) someone like James Charles made a post broadcasting all the homophobia he dealt with during his career, and I or some other asshole said something “while I don’t always agree with James…” like now isn’t the time. Now isn’t the time to let people you know you disagree with me ESPECIALLY on a post where you agree with me 100%??? What is the point then? You agreed with me, so agree with me. There. No one is saying that you have to agree with everything I say lord fucking knows I don’t always agree with you guys. fucking DUH. It makes me think you just wanted to put that in to lesson me and my words, even only slightly. Why? That hurts a lot, Mel. It really fucking does bruh.
When Rex called her out on it, she deleted the reblog. Not just the meagre little tag but the whole post. If she couldn’t be slick with me, then she wasn’t going to support me at all. It isn’t worth it if she can’t be shady. That’s the message I got from that. Tells me a lot. 
I am not friends with Rex anymore. She’s always been really aggressive and drama craving and I can’t take it. It’s impacting me negatively as well. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t somewhat happy with the screenshots she gave me. Told me a lot about these people I was still willing to talk to. 
Now? I won’t even waste their time.
After all of that. I made the post. The big announcement post. It was too much. I can’t escape the racism in my hometown or in the country in general, but I can leave and distance myself from the fandom. 
I was talking to someone today, and she, as a white woman, admitted that white people act so shitty when it’s implied that they’re racist. Which is so true. 
As I said, people make mistakes. No white person EVER is 0% racist or biased. I’m sorry but it’s not true unless you’re a baby or something. Same goes for other races, but mainly white people who have always had the upper hand, the privilege, the money, the chances, the power, all of that. 
Listen to me. 
When a person of color tells you that you are being microaggressive, biased, ignorant, or prejudice, or straight up RACIST, YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM. Why do you guys get so AGGRESSIVE AND MAD?? That is so fucking WEIRD. 
And yes. I’m talking to you Vulture. 
I really had no ill feelings towards you prior to your comments.
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Or your posts. 
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peep that clumsily used aave. never fucking talked like that to anyone but me. either way, you sound dumb.
Why?
Why so...mad?
You felt guilty? Why did you feel guilty? 
...I’m gonna let you answer that. 
Moving on. I know that not everything has to be about race. I hate making things about my race. I do, even when I should! But you can be racist unintentionally. Does that mean you’re racist? No! I have yet to receive a genuine apology from any of you, meanwhile, I’ve been over here grovelling and hoping that you like me again. God. Why is it so hard for you to apologize and move on??
No, in that same fucking server, someone sent a racist meme after joking about slavery all day:
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And yes, the people in the chat at the time laughed at it... 
I told them that WASNT funny and they freaked out all “WHY CANT I TALK TO PEOPLE IM SO FUCKING STUPID I SUCK” like oh...my god. You guys make it so awkward being black oh my GOD. I- like it makes me never want to say ANYTHING but I know I have to but god what the hell guys???
I wouldn’t really think that the members of the server chat were racially biased if they just accepted the fact that they were micro aggressive and didn’t flip out about it. Not really, at least. That reaction is so- well it’s sus as fuck. People who aren’t prejudiced will apologize, correct themselves and move on. Not dismiss me constantly and DEFINITELY not freak the fuck out. 
I also wouldn’t assume they were racially biased if this SAME EXACT SITUATION DIDNT HAPPEN TO ME BEFORE. 
Yep! On the Beatles Amino, I was called a bully and was reported by the LEADERS. Why? Because I told a curator she was inconsistent with her rules… that’s it. And that was back when I was sugary sweet all the time and was deemed to be a cinnamon roll. Nah. They knew I was black and I got told that people were scared of me and that I was bullying people. Yeah okay. Messaging ONE curator about her rules is the same thing as bullying people. Chile I can’t. And it only happens in the Beatles fandom. But no when someone calls John Lennon a racist it’s all “Zach! Zach! Tell them they’re wrong.” Ugh...
So that’s that on that. I have nothing else to say. Don’t message me about this post if you didn’t read all of this. I’m an idiot and I’m honestly still willing you hear you all out but don’t expect me to ever want to have anything to do with you. Out of the what- 50 people from that server, only two stood up for me? And two separate people APOLOGIZED TO ME. AND THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. That’s a shame. Thank you Johnny, Lenny, Laurie, and Remy. All of your names rhyme and you didn’t make me feel like I was CRAZY, unlike those I mentioned. There’s so much shit going on in the world rn, especially to do with racism. I know that you guys know. But some posts really....really tried me. oh well. I’m black. I like The Beatles. And I’m a victim of microaggressions, false accusations, gas lighting. I’m also out. bye.
black lives matter resources
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chouetteffraie · 5 years ago
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so wait, for atsu//kyou , is it like a good ship when kyouka is aged up or are you ok with an adult dating a preteen? (i know that you dont like Ship It and prefer them as siblings and/or friends its just the wording has me On Edge and i dont mean this as an attack, i just Need To Know yknow?)
anon who asked about atsu//kyou, to clarify i wanted to know since im a minor and i wanna like moderate (is that the word??) my internet experience so i can have a positive experience (and yea tumblr isnt the best place but hey with work i can make my dash nice), i didnt mean the ask as ship hate or whatever ^_^
Hi dear nonnie! Sorry for the confusing wording, I was answering asks late last night and got tired during the last of them. I’ll explain myself here, and you can determine whether or not you wanna stay after that!
I think atsukyou has potential, which for me implies passage of time? I think it could turn into something cute and good, whether it be a full fledged relationship later on or just Kyouka harboring a first crush on Atsushi because he’s one of the closest people to her.
I don’t think an 18/14 year old age gap is inherently predatory. Yeah, it could raise a few eyebrows, but if a senior in my old high school started dating a freshman I’d just think a comment or two and then leave it be, I guess. It is a little weird, but I really don’t think it immediately scream “bad.” 18 year olds don’t immediately mature into full-fledged adults once they hit their birthday, so I think thinking of Atsushi as a full adult skews the idea of the ship a bit?
This one’s the biggest one for me: Atsushi would never do anything sus to hurt Kyouka. I can understand as a blanket rule not liking the whole adult/preteen thing, but I cannot ever imagine Atsushi ever forcing Kyouka do go too fast, to ever do something she didn’t want to. I don’t even view the relationship as sexual if it’s a dating relationship - for me, I can only see it as romantic. So that’s part of it.
Finally, as a disclaimer, whereas I personally don’t ship them, I don’t think others who do are predatory or bad. I don’t think they have to be aged up to have potential, and I don’t even personally think of the ship as anything but romantic, if I even think about it at all.
Your internet experience is your choice though! I’m sorry if I’m giving off bad vibes with this opinion. If you’re on the fence, I’d be happy to tag that post and future posts so you can blacklist it! However, if you’d like to leave, I hope you enjoyed your stay. Thank you for contacting me!
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tumblunni · 6 years ago
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Ehh i think i finally summed up why all of this steven universe diamonds stuff has been so underwhelming.
YES you can redeem a villain
but you have to
actually
TRY
Yes you can write a story about the world’s most fuckin horrible person being really actually sad at heart
Yes you can write a story about an abusive parent actually being able to change
Yes you can write a story about some wild genocidal alien civilization of asshole space rocks actually only doing it because something something societal pressure DESPITE BEING THE ONES IN CHARGE WHO SET THE DAMN RULES I GUESS
But fucking hell its not gonna be EASY and you shouldn’t treat it that way.
All of this shit was SO fucking quick?? And everything else WASNT!
You spent SO long hyping up these guys you spent SO long convincing us that they WERE evil and that they had entirey different motives for what they were doing and EVEN WITHIN THIS FUCKING EPISODE you spent more time showing us White Diamond being absolutely ridiculously existentially horrifyingly awful and refusing every offer everyone gave her to help and refusing every chance and fucking fucking goddamn violating people’s entire minds and just.. fuck.
After all that you cant just fuckin have steven walk up to blue and yellow and say “hey everything you did was bad” and them go “GEE WE NEVER KNEW!” for some reason this time they’re convinced in a single sentence despite it being the same sentence steven said before in every damn episode and pink said to them years before and every person they abused and enslaved and mutilated and KILLED said while they were DYING
And you can’t fucking have white diamond never redeem herself and never change and never admit she’s wrong and steven SOLVE IT WITH FUCKING FIGHTING WHILE SAYING HE DOESNT WANT TO, WHILE THE ENTIRE SHOW TRIES TO CLAIM THE REASON THEY ARE DOING IT THIS WAY IS BECAUSE OF PACIFISM
because seriously he?? just defeated her?? and this made her?? change???
redeeming a villain shouldn’t be easy. redeeming a villain has to have the villain TRY. white diamond has done nothing to prove she really has a heart, prove that she really did all this for sympathetic reasons, prove that she’s able to change, AND ESPECIALLY NOTHING TO MAKE IT UP TO ANY OF THE PEOPLE SHE’S HURT
she just got defeated and basically admitted she’s wrong cos she has no other choice. and i guess her blushing because steven issued a SICK BURN to her is meant to be enough proof that her entire motivation so far has been because of self confidence issues forcing her to put up a false front aka her entire personality we saw so far. If you wanna tell me she’s entirely different to what we saw so far then please could you please give it more screentime than twelve goddamn seconds.
This is like how yellow and blue just suddenly were accepted as part of the family and steven agreed to go with them to homeworld literally just because they realized he “is really pink diamond”. Like they never fucking repented or actually learned to empathise with humans or ever explained why they dont empathise with humans no nope the only answer we got is that they were sad about their sister/daughter/friend dying even though they were already doing all the same evil stuff before that and its what caused her to leave in the first place. no we’re gonna just completely trust them instantly and not even continue making an effort to convince them? we’re gonna trust them so much we’re gonna trust that white diamond will also change just cos we beat her up? COS SERIOUSLY STEVEN FUCKIN DEFEATED BLUE AND YELLOW IN A FIGHT AND THATS THE END OF THEIR ARC, HOW IS THIS PROVING THE POWER OF PACIFISM!! beating everyone up and then saying the same singular sentence again and somehow now it works!! or saying “my mum was pink diamond” and it doesnt convince them but hey if we say it again with magical proof its true then i guess it works now. wow that sure does argue the power of words i guess
everything EVERYTHING they did was just a fuckin misunderstanding cos they dont UNDERSTAND they were doing bad and thus they dont have to face any form of consequences beyond being mildly embarassed i suppose.
if you wanna make that the ending then you need to work to disprove all the hours you spent implying that.. yknow.. they were doing things because they were evil
and even if theyre sympathetic they still did evil things and they still need to work to prove that theyve changed
and ESPECIALLY if you’re making a show very heavy on subjects like LGBT discrimination it shouldnt be FUCKIN WOW UNEXPECTED that the audience would see this plot as a metaphor for stuff like homophobia and abusive parents and.. yknow.. societal oppression in a law system that forces you to live in the closet in constant fear of being discovered and killed. and all the other apparantly accidental undertones of racism and extermination of indigenous people in stolen land which YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED PEOPLE TO SEE WHEN THE PLOT IS LITERALLY EXTERMINATING PEOPLE TO STEAL THEIR LAND
all of that means you need to do MORE work to prove that that isnt actually what the plot is supposed to be, and more work to redeem villains who are very heavily goddamn triggering to a large part of the vunerable audience YOU SPECIFICALLY MARKETED YOURSELF TOWARDS
this was just so fucking overwhelming and somehow rushed despite being an hour long episode, and i hate it because the show spent so much effort on so much other stuff yet decided to half ass it at the really important part that NEEDED to have thought and time put into it if it was gonna nail the landing
especially after ALL THAT FUCKIN TIME AND EFFORT INTO THINGS THAT ONLY AMPED UP THE VILLAINY AND TENSION OF THESE GUYS AND MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE
like fucking hell how can you be so tone deaf??? this has been in the planning for so damn long and theyve been working on it forever and THIS is what they chose to rush over? this is the priorities they thought were important? even just within this episode if youre struggling to fit it all in then like seriously cut out some of the stuff like the montage of unseen fusion forms that did basiclaly nothing but a few jokes, and the equally as rushed bad lars and sadie romance resolution. Which is another thing that needed a lot of work to fix when the introduction we got to these two was a really unhealthy relationship and a dude who refuses to change despite being given twelve chances but suddenly changes COMPLETELY on the thirteenth one and i guess cos he died that proves he’s all good now. Except he acts all weird and creepy in the very next episode and endangers his new friends by acting all possessive over sadie again and getting angry that she has other friends????
i hate it because ive had to deal with the fandom telling all the people who were rightfully uncomfortable with how these subjects were handled that oh we’re just overreacting and oh wait and see cos they totally have a big plan for the ending or something that’ll make it all make sense. And comparing people being triggered by child abuse and racism to “huhu those dumb su criticals who hate the art style” or whatever...
god, man, its just a deflection of what the issue really is
“oh youre saying NO VILLAINS can EVER be redeemed and NOBODY can EVER talk about dark stuff in shows without being SECRETLY BAD AND SUPPORTING IT IN REAL LIFE?”
no im not saying that im just saying the subjects are fucking depressing to people who’ve suffered from the real life stuff and the villain redemption should be GOOD and should THINK ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE if it wants to make up for it
like fucking hell look at how much zuko from avatar went through before his redemption. look at how long he struggled with his morality and how long it took him to realise he was wrong. look at how much detail they showed us on all the people who negatively influenced him into making the bad choices he did. look at how much he went through to make up for what he did and apologise to everyone he hurt. look at how everyone he hurt didnt believe him at first and it took a while for everything to work out. look at how sometimes he messed up and took steps backward before getting to where he needed to be. and look at how he actually changed as a person and continued learning and growing and trying to be a good person even far into the future after the story ended.
hell, fuckin look at PERIDOT! peridot had a full goddamn zuko arc! peridot had more screentime than all of the diamonds combined, and it was way better utilized! she had a full process from being introduced as a scary villain BECAUSE OF MISUNDERSTANDING WHO SHE REALLY WAS, then being revealed as having a fully rounded personality, flaws and redeemable traits while still being a villain. and moments of her proving that she did indeed only become a villain because she didnt understand what she was doing was wrong, and a personality that matched with that reveal rather than having NO INDICATION she was like that until it suddenly happened only after she was defeated. and her redemption came slowly through friendship with steven and it had moments of the other characters not instantly trusting her and also of her making mistakes and struggling with believing steven’s philosophy when it went against everything she knew about life. and speaking of which it was established that she had a very different life which had negative influences pushing these ideas upon her, and tough stuff that made her scared and pressured. Not just being in a high position of ruling over a planet in the lap of luxury and ONLY AFTER BEING DEFEATED do we learn that they feel pressured by the societal expectation to be perfect and they actually would have agreed all along with dismantling the system but they were just too afraid to be honest. Or whatever the fuck that rushed ending was trying to go for! And man even after peridot joins the team she’s NOT redeemed yet, she’s initially only halfway doubting herself and only teaming up with steven because they’re both afraid of the cluster. And she messes up and says horrible shit to her new friends and feels the consequences of her actions and chooses to change. And her ultimate choice to switch sides is REALLY hard, she gets so close to going back to the diamonds and its a great personal sacrifice on her part when she chooses to give it all up and make an enemy of the person she was so scared of!
and GAHHH that good redemption is one in a million episodes that really set up the diamonds Being Bad and should have been a goddamn tally in the “effort required in the fuckin ending” chart!
could we not have even just had one ten minute episode of blue and yellow going around earth and experiencing human life and realizing there’s things worth protecting? or a few damn scenes foreshadowing white being actually insecure and lying to protect herself, rather than GENUINELY ABUSIVE BECAUSE SHE’S BAD?
and seriously even if you hurt people because you hate yourself YOU STILL HURT THEM
a sympathetic backstory should be a reason why they COULD be redeemed, not proof that they already are redeemed just because the backstory was stated in words and nothing else has fuckin changed.
imagine if zuko just lost one fight to aang and said “yes but my dad abused me” and aang was like “oh no now lets team up with zuko to beat up his dad” and none of the bad things zuko did were ever mentioned again and also he keeps his season 1 personality throughout the entire series
imagine if peridot fuckin.. just changed sides cos she’s funny and we like her. people wantedher to change sides as soon as she acted funny and likeable but they still made the effort to actually prove she had changed! the diamonds didnt act remotely harmless or remotely good until they just suddenly are in the very last episode.
hoo
fucking
ray
also why are we constantly just ignoring all these dark things about homeworld? like the episode with holly blue agate and the famethyst slave caste and all the creepy ways the entire place operated. i totally thought thatd.. yknow.. EVER BE REFERENCED AGAIN?? its never even mentioned that anyone even WANTS to go back and save them?? and the human zoo were outright stated to be like.. unsaveable. “oh theyve never known real human life and theyre happy in their slavery so itd be cruel to take them away from it” One off episode, forgotten about. And the creepy as fuck scenes of gems being BUILT INTO THE WALLS AND DOORS AS SECURITY SYSTEMS and the confirmation that more lapis situations are constantly going on yet somehow that singing hairbrush person doesnt get all the sympathy that she did. And steven going daww at the pebbles instead of being horrified that theyre born to work as servants and forced to live in the walls because the noblewomen dont want to look at them? and he asks them to make him a new outfit?? and theres no plot anything involving them except them puttering around in the background outfitting?? like was none of this meant to be seen as PROOF THAT THE DIAMONDS WERE EVIL and PEOPLE WHO NEEDED TO BE SAVED????
goddddd
please say they were rushed or something please say this is all the faultof being given less time than they expected please say there were other plans for other episodes we didnt see that would have given at least slightly more substance to any of this
also why wasnt this even advertised as the last episode if its the last fuckin episode
hhhh well at least obsidian was a great character design and so were the other fusions and new outfits even if they only appeared for twelve seconds. and white’s whole scary evil mind invasion stuff was really good even if it actually hurt the episode by being good, kinda
man im not even mad or anything i just feel mehh and bored and like im actually glad its over. i never wanted to feel that way about a show that used to be so good. i kinda wish the earliest episodes werent so good if the answers to all those well set up mysteries were gonna have so much less effort than the setup itself
...man i should make a whole post about all the mistaken ways i THOUGHT the show was gonna go that actually would have been way more interesting than the real answer.
i’m just super glad that my last theory was wrong cos wow that would have been the only thing worse than this ending! when white pearl first appeared before we’d actually seen white diamond, and it had all this thing that white diamond hadnt been seen in ages.. well i was worried it was setting up some sort of reverse twist where actually white pearl is bodysnatching white diamond instead of vice versa. So the whole evil empire would actually be run by a member of the slave class that its oppressing, and the diamonds/representative of the upper class would actually be poor victims all along. dear god i am so glad i got that wrong! tho im weirded out by how evil white/pink pearl looked in that first hint that she was originally pink pearl??
anyway basicallly im just so fuckin tired
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just-some-random-blogger · 2 years ago
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rise and shine, lovely classmate! have a nice day (or whatever)! 'omg you need lenses' yeah... i still got questions like 'are you wearing your lenses today?' from people who know i cant see without my glasses and do wear lenses. every time im just ???? 'are you an onion?' you never know... i feel sorry for these times so i say it?.. remember the first time i learnt sorry means both apologizing and feeling bad for smn, i was bros these are different words wtf... 'you were attacked?' I MEAN. shes the clingy type of drunk. shes pretty touchy in general. and YES my poor pretty butt was ATTACKED. yesterday she slapped it so unexpectedly i dropped my phone... '[pets head]' meowmeow. 'i wonder why languages thought it was a good idea to make words fem and masc' ig like ive said half logic and half why not. probably some traditions of patriarchal society that language just absorbed, maybe just logically the forms of other words that were paired with pronouns kept stable with others. we never TRULY know. maybe just a crazy king said i want to refer to a girl as neuter (its been years but still german wtf). 'ur so mean' take it after my catmom. 'why am i a baby?' 1)youre a baby 2) youre so clueless abt su so youre a baby in it TT 'im so sorry. it was like an expression' OH its ok no need to apologize so much. i see now. youre educational. but english IS indeed a rat. sorry not sorry. 'i wonder what ur teacher said' AJAHDJF no we didnt talk abt it... BUT my classmates who never even opened the book were SO loud about 'knowing its about a kink'. they were even proud? to not think 'properly' and searching for the meaning witch literature usually does but understanding its about 🤩SEX🤩 SO big brained of them. men yuck. they can and must go touch yellow snow. but after the lesson we still talked a lil abt him being worldwife and being kinky in literally 'the encyclopedia of russian life' as one lit critic said. WHAT THE cat drama do you have there TT tbh im so sorry for them all TT none of these pure creatures deserves to suffer from a life like this. 'you dont have to give me fic ideas everyday' still dont take all my words to heart. i know i dont. i wouldnt be able even if i wanted to💀 if im sincere or sarcastic in russian then theres a comma after sorry but if not then i try to make it less serious. witn the absence of a comma... nvm. id give you that daemon idea i teased you already as soon as your dream brainrot ends. even if its enDLESS gsijgerg sorry. 'read and fear follow war' so true so unfortunate. 'russia would come and bonk me' well not all russia. st. petersburg has a rather humid-ish climate, as i know, Far East (basically the east of russia as well as the northern(?) part of the continent. it has a common border with china so the asian influence is pretty big) is humid too. dryness is the feature of places with low temperature. everywhere. 'at least you can see the stars better' does it worth struggling with health problems?? like... the salaries in the north are higher just bc of the risks living here has💀. but i dont end up with completely bad stuff!! that meme you replyed with ”𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐤… 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐬𝐬.” HGJDJFJF rhaenyras' ass must be as little as laenor's efforts to make an heir.... I WANTED TO SAY THIS PUN SM. also? ive finished hotd's bts and. i confirm that i hate rhaenyra (esp young. sorry milly). as the character. shes absolutely irresponsible, reckless and spoilt. she had everything and still was what? why? its not a new thing for a princess in the fiction to be tired and wanting to 'live alone'. but rhaenyra was showed to not do these things?.. like she merely needs to pour wine and she still flies away? remember, im judgemental. i understand her character. and understand her intentions. but i personally dont like people like this (ESP after seeing how shes comparable to my ex-friend who screwed me a couple of times bc of her irresponsibility and talked shit abt me🤩). in this case im absolutely alicent. anyway. have a good day! good luck with all of your plans! luv u! take care <з
MY BINGBING HOLA <3
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HAHAHAHAHAHAH LOOOK AT DIS CAT
rise and shine, lovely classmate! have a nice day (or whatever)!
i read this in the morning but i had class and did homework and a fic so its night now HAHHAHAHAH
'omg you need lenses' yeah... i still got questions like 'are you wearing your lenses today?' from people who know i cant see without my glasses and do wear lenses. every time im just ????
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH LOL press f to pay respect. f. i cant related i got 20/20 vision 🤩 this is where we differ
'are you an onion?' you never know...
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i feel sorry for these times so i say it?.. remember the first time i learnt sorry means both apologizing and feeling bad for smn, i was bros these are different words wtf...
HAHAAHAAHAHAH i mean theyre different in filipino too but i get where theyre coming from lol. what a judger 🙄
'you were attacked?' I MEAN. shes the clingy type of drunk. shes pretty touchy in general. and YES my poor pretty butt was ATTACKED. yesterday she slapped it so unexpectedly i dropped my phone...
omg aslfhasfhlashfsaosafhsaf AHAHHAAHHAH. f. at least your ass is pretty (;
'[pets head]' meowmeow.
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'i wonder why languages thought it was a good idea to make words fem and masc' ig like ive said half logic and half why not. probably some traditions of patriarchal society that language just absorbed, maybe just logically the forms of other words that were paired with pronouns kept stable with others. we never TRULY know. maybe just a crazy king said i want to refer to a girl as neuter (its been years but still german wtf).
DOWN WITH THE PATRIARCHY [SHOOTS MACHINE GUN] that king is so L. DOWN WITH THE MONARCHY [rATATATATATAT]
'ur so mean' take it after my catmom.
): no you dont, im not judgy like you
'why am i a baby?' 1)youre a baby
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2) youre so clueless abt su so youre a baby in it TT
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k
'im so sorry. it was like an expression' OH its ok no need to apologize so much. i see now. youre educational. but english IS indeed a rat. sorry not sorry.
i dont nearly apologize as much as you do so /: let me apologize T_T im glad i taught you that at least, albeit confusing you first
'i wonder what ur teacher said' AJAHDJF no we didnt talk abt it... BUT my classmates who never even opened the book were SO loud about 'knowing its about a kink'. they were even proud? to not think 'properly' and searching for the meaning witch literature usually does but understanding its about 🤩SEX🤩 SO big brained of them. men yuck. they can and must go touch yellow snow. but after the lesson we still talked a lil abt him being worldwife and being kinky in literally 'the encyclopedia of russian life' as one lit critic said.
stOP BOYS ARE SO YUCKY MEN ARE SO YUCKY THEY LIKE THIS ALL OVER THE WORLD BOOOOOOO TOMATO TOMATO 🤬🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🍅🍅🍅🍅🤢🤢🤢🤢👎👎👎👎❌❌❌❌ i remember many instances where this has happened in class never opened the book or listened but knows all the lewd stuff about it /: and so yuck. but still EW ABOUT THE YELLOW SNOW booooo 👎
WHAT THE cat drama do you have there TT tbh im so sorry for them all TT none of these pure creatures deserves to suffer from a life like this.
yeah BUT I SAW THE PAWLESS CAT TODAY my granny named him Tol, short for Putol which means... like broken? chopped? AHSFK>HAK>SFHAS lol at least hes not dead
'you dont have to give me fic ideas everyday' still dont take all my words to heart. i know i dont. i wouldnt be able even if i wanted to💀 if im sincere or sarcastic in russian then theres a comma after sorry but if not then i try to make it less serious. witn the absence of a comma... nvm.
T_T DAMN THAT WAS SARCASTIC ur so dry /: LOL i guess i will never believe you again. ever. never ever ever. 😭✊
id give you that daemon idea i teased you already as soon as your dream brainrot ends. even if its enDLESS gsijgerg sorry.
ur pun. lahsflhafasfhah ok. also, i love dream im not going to stop my brainrot anytime soon i think, OH OH OH BUT YOUR STORY IS IN MY QUEUE NOW!!! IN THE KEEP!!!!!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH AND THEN AFTER IS P3 OF THE MODERN DAEMON AU T_T AS:FASFASF: IT ONLY TOOK 5THOUSAND YEARS BUT ITS HERE
which one do you want me to do first btw? i havent written in the keep at all but i am like... halfway done with the p3 so if you want i can finish that first. nah i;ll just finish that first so i can post it tom HIHIIHIHIH
'read and fear follow war' so true so unfortunate.
😞.
'russia would come and bonk me' well not all russia. st. petersburg has a rather humid-ish climate, as i know, Far East (basically the east of russia as well as the northern(?) part of the continent.
🙃so waht if its humid if its like negative degrees ???? aslahsfasf
it has a common border with china so the asian influence is pretty big) is humid too.
oh! wow ur so right i was think of like the '-stan' countries i forgot china is huge and close to russia too lol HAHAHA
dryness is the feature of places with low temperature. everywhere.
wait so you mean st. petersburg is warm? sus
'at least you can see the stars better' does it worth struggling with health problems?? like... the salaries in the north are higher just bc of the risks living here has💀.
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damn
but i dont end up with completely bad stuff!!
well im glad! lshddsglhsdgds stay safe and take care always ok
that meme you replyed with ”𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐤… 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐬𝐬.” HGJDJFJF
MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR WHEN I SAW THAT LAHLAHSFLKASF WHAT IS THAT ALSHFALHFLASHF LOL HAHAHAH
rhaenyras' ass must be as little as laenor's efforts to make an heir.... I WANTED TO SAY THIS PUN SM.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ok my love T_T i hope youre satisfied.
also? ive finished hotd's bts and. i confirm that i hate rhaenyra (esp young. sorry milly).
RIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP POOORRRR MILLLYY HAHHHAAA
as the character. shes absolutely irresponsible, reckless and spoilt. she had everything and still was what? why? its not a new thing for a princess in the fiction to be tired and wanting to 'live alone'. but rhaenyra was showed to not do these things?.. like she merely needs to pour wine and she still flies away? remember, im judgemental. i understand her character. and understand her intentions. but i personally dont like people like this
yeah no youre so right. she does live in a world of privilege so i understand where youre coming from. i mean they're all born from places of privelage so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk i feel neutral for her, and everyone, or at least i think i do cos its been a while since i finished the show and all remember is mmm yum daemon mmm yum aemond mmm yum yum yum HAHAHHAH
(ESP after seeing how shes comparable to my ex-friend who screwed me a couple of times bc of her irresponsibility and talked shit abt me🤩).
emotional baggage who lasfhlakhfhas HAHHAHA. i hope youve found peace within yourself about her. i have had my fair share of ill wrought feelings and its genuinely better to forgive i find
in this case im absolutely alicent.
good for you. she cray too, everyone is, but im glad you found your favorite <3
anyway. have a good day! good luck with all of your plans! luv u! take care <з
i think ill finish editing my song cover tonight. or at least i hope i do.
im luv u so much thank you for dropping by today <3
xxx
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