#i went all the way into it

[air3d3lalm3na]

some of my thoughts, starting off inspired by the last part of that last queued post — about intersex specific/exclusive language — but then going into a related ramble… Held back on this topic for a while honestly. Most of us who saw this stuff go down have just been tired of it and went silent a long time ago. might as well ramble on it now.

--

the whole Assigned (Sex/Gender) At Birth (AFAB/AMAB) framework did NOT need to be stolen and appropriated by non-intersex trans people. we all watched it happen online. and anyone saying otherwise got the tumblr treatment™…

…which amounts, to basically, got shouted down by the arrogant pricks who used basically cult tactics in their ~discourse~ around 10 years ago (Comply and subscribe religiously to all their hyper-strict and even at times wildly messed up viewpoints, or be cast out; fight everyone you know IRL on these topics until you’ve alienated them all. shit like “AFAB privilege” and “monosexual privilege” was bandied about lmfao. “butch privilege” for anyone who dresses butch, “misogyny” being framed as against anyone who dresses fem. all the bullshit.)

the people on here have been pretty good about casting out much of this nonsense as the nonsense that it is. there’s still a hyper-religious-about-it MOGAI-esque core (and i feel bad for some of them, at least those not in it for power/clique reasons, for how tied up in it they still are.)

but one thing that never got really dealt with was the fact that this language was outright stolen from intersex people, a word to talk about the actual physical abuse against them. on a site that loved to talk about appropriation, they appropriated this willfully and spited anyone who said something.

but yeah it’s dishonest. i was not medically, surgically and socially FORCED/ASSIGNED into something like (many) intersex people were. i am not “assigned” female at birth, i just was female at birth. i get shit every time i don’t tack on the “assigned”.

and they did it because they felt that being born the way we all were, was dysphorically, deeply, uncomfortably wrong. and i get their rationale, but it doesn’t make it right. we have our own different experience and it literally requires different description and language.

like, if you feel that the body you didn’t choose to be born with was that wrong? the trans community already made words and phrases for that. for the hardcore stealth types, there’s “woman/man of trans/medical experience” i.e. your birth and upbringing do not have to define you, and this phrase acknowledges that. for those who are ok with referencing and emphasizing their transness, “trans(gender/sexual) man/woman” with the adjective first. either way, we have words and can build on them.

not only does this disingenuous theft silence intersex people — a group probably smaller than us, being realistic — but yeah…

…the people who were always the angriest at those of us who just left the first word off, tended to HATE when those “~assigned” female at birth/raised female, talked about that experience, and the sexism involved. there were major, heavy efforts to silence us even for mildly referencing it, and even force us to apologize for acknowledging our own experiences.

this shit basically funneled a load of ftm spectrum/trans male/transmasculine people who wanted to talk about the sexism in their lives, into the only forms of feminism that would accept it. aka radfemism (i won’t call it feminism, it’s its own thing in itself tbh) — transphobic types who demanded they also acquiesce to harmful beliefs that actively hurt themselves and really, didn’t help anyone. you had detransitions back into the closet, followed by re-transitions when they figured out it wouldn’t work.

this shit headfucked so many people and i can’t help but feel that it was all social engineering. all orchestrated bogus shit from the right wing, astroturf style. to get the feminist voice out of trans activism and the trans voice out of feminism, to alienate everyone, divide and conquer stuff.

feeding people bizarre shit on both sides so that, eventually, they’d just be overwhelmed and leave and go quiet and be demoralized, in the end.

and all this supported by various twistings of language, on both sides.

and this specific piece of language, on the back of a group of people who have already been so deeply abused, by the medical institution, by their own families… yeah, more silencing is all they needed.

i’m just tired of the stupid convoluted nonsense. i support people being who they are and having a voice to talk about their lives, and talking about their lives in uncensored, authentic and honest ways. which this online nonsense was always the exact opposite of.

and back to the initial topic of the post — as to the origins of trans and probably all lgbt people, yeah, i’ve read the studies and i do think that what makes us this way at birth (even non-intersex, non/trans/cisgender gay/bi men and women), is probably hormonal, in-utero, and counts as a form of “neurological/occluded/occult (hidden) intersex/difference of sexed development” that we do not yet have the full ability to medically understand. it’s becoming pretty clear that testosterone plays a role in female at birth LGBT-ness and likewise estrogen/progesterone and male at birth LGBT people. (despite the resistance and stigma against that idea from some narrow-minded folks.) yes, there’s definitely more to be learned there. but what we experience is still so drastically different that i don’t like to put the intersex label on it… nor their other terminology like ASAB/AGAB. that’s theirs. some basic respect is and always has been in order.

it’s just so intellectually dishonest in every single way, the way that has been enforced to talk about this stuff. i refuse to be someone else’s intellectual pawn.

watching all this go down was like watching separate cults battle each other and i have no interest in membership in either, or any. i got swept up in the first one (specific flavor of ideas on queer/trans stuff), but refused to go into the second (radfemism, their distortion of otherwise could-have-been solid feminist ideas into a literal hate group against anyone who isn’t a strictly cis gay separatist woman who Does Woman Correctly/PC)……… both were like fucking nuns with their controlling rules about what was correct (groupthink) and what was incorrect (sin/thoughtcrime to be extinguished) ….

…just because one is bad, doesn’t mean another will be “better” for you. the only GOOD thing for you is mental independence. you don’t need some group ringleader doing your thinking for you, or telling you how to talk about your life. it’s so childish. if we’re all adults then we don’t need to lean on that.

…

And it bled out into IRL, off the internet.

Because of course it did. Because it was planned and fomented in probably some think tank.

So now you run into signs of it irl, you can’t escape it.

…

i feel like this makes making friends or romantic relationships so fucking hard. at this point i look for signs of THE most Normie cis straight/straight leaning people possible, who happen to have some progressive/somewhat left leaning viewpoints on life, who are open-minded rather than ideologues and snobs and nuns and…….who just live and treat you and others like a regular human being.

at this point anyone who is too plugged into the nonsense is impossible to be around. like just let me be gay or whatever (labels suck) and trans and not let it be a big thing and let us live in peace. we had our 15 minutes of being forced into fame with no protection and now we’re being culture-warred on and it’s a pointless mess and i’m just tired out of it.

and for god’s sake, while you’re climbing out of it, don’t step on someone else’s neck!

[egophiliac]

buckle up lads we're going BACK INTO THE BOOK

[chloesimaginationthings]

This is basically FNAF Ruin…

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

[arundolyn]

today i bring you aba stimming. tomorrow? who knows

[brimstonetrees]

My first playthrough I somehow completely managed to avoid all pale king iconography so I had no idea who this bitch was

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[basslinegrave]

pin-up

b&w originals

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Eldritch/not-entirely-human Grunkle Stan stories have been eating away at my brain, so I have a silly little concept of Mimic!Stan.

He and his Mystery Shack are both mimics that lure tourists in as a literal "tourist trap" to gather and devour them! Since the house is alive, it raises a few (read: several) child safety concerns that lead to a LOT of rules to be created for Dipper and Mabel to follow when they eventually arrive, such as:

Be careful not to get lost in the winding hallways! The Mystery Shack is bigger on the inside, and you don't want to end up in the wrong areas.

Don't go through randomly appearing doors, they may eat you.

If you think you feel the walls around you breathing and the floor beneath you shifting, no, you don't.

If you think the walls feel a bit damp, you're imagining it.

Watch your fingers around windowsills! You wouldn't want to lose any of them.

Don't linger too long under the doorframes; it may start feeling like they are slowly constricting around you.

[technically-human]

Hey, don't cry. Ghost yuri, okay?

(Now that you know the girls, they need to meet the boys!)

[unhappy-sometimes]

bowling doodles

next thing you know, he’s got a custom jersey and ball, a shelf of bowling trophies, and is on a local team.

i know that loid is supposed to be good at everything, but just once i’d like to see him pathetically fail at something despite his earnest efforts. every time i go bowling i am consistently surprised at how difficult it is.

[haunted-xander]

I made this AAAAGES ago and forgot to post it and now I'm annoyed by how it's rotting away on my phone so here. Bratty teen Thancred being a menace to Fourchenault (and a bad influence on Urianger lol)

[theoldkyokodied]

One wedding and three funerals

Background paintings under the cut

[dottyistired]

i'm not seeing any posts about it here yet, but they solved the silas birchtree riddle on reddit and there's some pretty juicy lore! first, entering "paranoid" backwards nets this conspiracy board:

then, from the black letters in the corners of some of the pages people pieced together the code "connect the dots", backwards again, gets a whopping 12 page chapter about the ciphertology cult! it's...something.

so in summary, bill puppeted a guy's corpse, became a cult leader, seemingly married over a hundred people, mass-possessed his followers, tried to get them to build his portal. his lone dissenter was a spinster who made anti-bill chick tracts and started a fire. a waco-style shootout ensued, killing silas' already-rotting corpse a second time in a disturbingly detailed manner. at some point he made some of his followers drink the kool-aid too.

entering the lady's name, emmaline butternubbins, into the computer finally gets you the reward for solving all the riddles: hd wallpapers of various graphics from the book of bill. but frankly this is more interesting and fucked up to me.

(alt text under cut, wip)

[Image 1: A cluttered conspiracy board centered on Bill Cipher. Red string and pins connect various newspaper clippings, photos, drawings and pamphlets.]

[Image 2: A history-book style chapter page. Header "LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN CULTS."

"Have you ever heard of Orchard Lake, Kansas? Chances are you haven't. It was erased from every map, book, and historical record, and the US Government's official position on it is "stop calling us or we'll send a drone to your house." (I learned this the hard way.) But if you drive to the exact latitude and longitude of you'll see bullet casings, faded billboards, and bow ties strewn across the desert sands.

That's because Orchard Lake had another name before it was wiped off the record: BillVille.

CHAPTER 3: BillVille

The First Cult In History That Was Right

FIG A: A tumbillweced

As a historian of esoteric religions, I thought I'd discovered the strangest sects America had yct to offer (see "Chapter 3: Kevin's Gate") but that all changed when I found the following items tucked away in an old trunk in an estate sale on the out- skirts of Bootstrap, Missouri."]

[raycatzdraws]

Wolfie and Four friendship appreciation doodles! They're shared secrets besties! I hope Four's distrust of the shadow crystal doesn't drive anything between them. Wild found his way into this compilation with a force. It seems I can't draw Wolfie and not include him too!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Flower Empowered.

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