#i was willing to get to know him better
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spent a good amount of my day avoiding a guy who wanted to be my valentine how’s everyone else doing today
#i was willing to get to know him better#but within the past weeks of talking to him#it was increasingly clear he was interested in the fact that i seemed like an ‘easy catch’ to him#rather than who i am as a person#if that makes sense#he didn’t really seem to want to get to know me better#but he did repeatedly call me cute and pretty and stuff#which i like#but it’s like#is that all you’re interested in?#bc it seems like that’s the case#and i find that insulting#he knows i draw but has seen ONE drawing and it’s my (nonfurry) pfp i drew#and he sure as hell does NOT know i’m a furry
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soap's whole deal being sniper and demolitions gets me going bc on the surface they sound so different but when you get into it, you realise it's bc soap's smart
sniping is all math; calculating distances and wind interference and bullet drop. something i think people overlook is he was listed as a sniper first so it can be implied that he's better at it than demolitions. he does more sniping in both campaigns than demolitions work; in capture or kill, ghost specifically calls on him to take down the aq snipers
and demolitions is math with a hit of chemistry; knowing what mixes with what, knowing how much to use, recognising environmental factors and adjusting accordingly. it's not just about the boom; so much work goes into contained/ planned explosions. especially when having enough power for a breacher charge and not bringing down the whole building is the difference between mission success and failure
the chemical bombs he makes in alone can't just be any old cleaners, they have to have the correct reaction to each other; he just knew off the top of his head what would mix with what to create what reaction. he would also potentially have to recognise them by sight/smell bc they would’ve been written in spanish
soap would also have to know architecture; recognising structural integrity and weak points so he knows exactly where to plant a charge to bring it down and how it'll come down
he has an incredible soldier's mind people just forget that bc he's sociable which itself is a skill
we know he tends to buck against orders he doesn't agree with like when he pushes back against ghost in capture or kill and shepherd when he tells them to release hassan
he gets closer to people and sees if he can trust them and that's when he follows them without question. really think about how he talks to alejandro and rudy; he asks about their home and alejandro's family and rudy's relationship with him. those aren't questions you ask a stranger after a few hours of knowing them. that's not even touching on his relationship with ghost
he also deliberately brings people of higher ranks down to his level; talking informally with ghost and giving him a shoulder punch, addressing alejandro (a colonel!!) by his first name and rudy by his nickname despite literally just meeting them. he personalises all of them and it’s in direct opposition to the reason most characters do that; it’s not due to insubordination or lack of respect, the more he respects and trusts someone, the more casual he is with them
he digs into people; he wants to know what makes them tick and that determines if he can one, trust them and two, follow their orders. once he decides that, he's the ultimate soldier; he bleeds loyalty which makes him vicious when that loyalty is taken for granted
he isn't naive or bubbly or insecure; he's an incredibly smart and aware soldier. he's aggressive and bloodthirsty and loyal and intuitive and i love him so much
#i cant believe i never posted the soap meta that got me twitter famous™️💅#as with damn near every piece of characterisation in this franchise soaps is only apparent in subtext and connecting tiny little dots#it is very easy to just pick up his surface personality and think thats all he is#but soaps not a sunshine character#hes not super friendly or bright#hes just willing to talk to people and hes paired up with ghost who never wants to start a conversation#every time i see soap presented as this bubbly airhead thats super sweet and just blows stuff up i lose a year off my life#and i dont blame people for getting this vibe from him but im begging you to look a lil deeper#this isnt getting into his anger or the fact that he is a soldier which automatically makes him a wee bit fucked up#like he is hyperviolent and takes joy in it#we all know ghosts snuff film joke but soaps the one who responds positively to it#he returns the joke and only calls him out on it when he says he wont watch it more than once and even then its teasing not grossed out#and if we take the ‘he tried to join the military at 16’ factoid from 09 as current canon then he very easily could have a rough home life#no one tries to repeatedly join the military early without having some kind of problems#soap knows his worth and his abilities you dont get to be as good and specialised as he is without being completely sure of yourself#we know ghost has an ego but soap constantly butts up against it with his own affirmations#‘you wanna be better than me johnny’ ‘maybe i already am/i will be’ ‘a little helps not so bad eh lt’#being a sniper makes me hate the ‘cant sit still’ hc hes literally an sas sniper he wouldnt be complaining after a few hours of overwatch#i like the adhd hc and maybe he fidgets in his day to day life but the second hes at work hes At Work#tldr soap could be just as complex a character as ghost if cod would stop treating their campaigns as an afterthought and actually commit#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#talk meta to me#john soap mactavish#soap cod#cod mw2#soapghost#save post#call of duty modern warfare#cod meta
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hii hii lumii !! I ADORE your interpretation of lighter so far— I love him smm
anyways, I hope my req is okay but I was wondering if you could do a comfort fic ? maybe reader has been a lil distant lately and just in some feels and he gives them a lil talk after being blown off here and there to find out they were having issues w their mental health and not feeling good enough and maybe he’s caught off guard because reader is usually so out going and always has a smile on their face and to see them feel so small makes him wanna take care of them so much and gives them so much reassurance and gentle kisses and cuddles 👉👈
I hope it’s okay !! I’ve been in the feels lately
hi anonn !! im gonna answer this one first because i've been in the feels too and i think we all deserve some reassurance, especially after all of the sad lighter story.
i don't take lighter for the kind to be too intrusive. that's not to say that he doesn't notice the way you're staring off into the distance, as if always having something on your mind. or the way you left earlier than usual for the SoC's nightly hangouts around the fire. or the way you had just been distancing yourself from him.
maybe you just needed a day, or two, and so he waited. he waited, and waited, but it just seemed like it was getting worse. he was beginning to get anxious, coming up with possibilities and worse case scenarios. even his favorite grape-flavored lollipop couldn't reduce the anxiety that was building up inside of him as he followed after you one night.
he shook off his nerves, spending quite a bit of time at the front door of your lodging while in blazewood. mentally practicing what to say so that he wouldn't make things even worse than they already were. one step, two deep breaths, three knocks on your door. he cleared his voice, usually confident and smooth but now carried a hint of worry in it.
"hey, uh... everything alright?"
you could hear the ruffling of his jacket, the soft metal clinks of his gloves. he didn't dare open the door until you allowed him to, so he waited, just like he always had. "lighter? yeah, everything's fine," was that a slight crack in your voice? no, no, he had to have imagined that. he knew it was wrong but he had waited long enough. he turned the knob, opening the door just a little bit but still not walking in.
"you don't have to tell me everything. just... know that i'll be here, waiting for you." he wasn't the best at comforting, nor was he good at even navigating these sorts of things but at the very least, he wanted you to have the knowledge that you had him. it didn't take long for you to finally get up, opening the door that separated the both of you. you looked so... different. the light absent from your eyes, the edges of your lips normally turned upwards but now they weren't. if he couldn't say what you wanted to hear, maybe you'd understand through his actions.
his arms wrapped around you. squeezing you just a little tighter than usual as he somehow made the both of you waddle backwards into your room. he had kept his gloves in his pants, not wanting to hurt you even more with them. his embrace was a familiar warmth, like the fire during particularly cold nights in the outer ring. you could hear his heart racing, was it from nervousness? anxiety? fear? even he didn't know.
he took this as an opportunity to place soft kisses on the top of your head but then stopped all of a sudden. he turned around to the door and realized that it was still wide open. he kicked it close with his foot, feeling embarrassed at the fact that he had to stop because of something so minor. he wanted you to feel safe, to have privacy, to be able to breathe without others barging in. technically, he had invaded this space of yours but you were slowly melting into him, as if you had been waiting for this too.
every passing second hugging you, kissing you, it made his own worries disappear. he hoped the same for you as you slowly spoke to him about your own problems. as he listened, he'd pause every once in while to give you a deadpan stare. not because he was making fun of you or anything, but it genuinely baffled him how you could say such things about yourself. you felt so insecure about yourself and your image, about being with him, being with the SoC. he had to physically stop himself from just blurting "i love you" every time you said something so degrading.
instead, he chose to wait and listen. his calloused hands gently caressing yours, his lips pressing kisses on the side of your head as you nuzzled into him. he loves you for who you are, the person in front of him, not the image that you had made yourself out to be in your mind. but he waits for you to let it all out before he says anything else. he will wait, he will listen, he will always be there for you.
#lumiresponds ˚✧₊⁎☆#lighter zzz#lighter lorenz#zzz lighter#lighter x reader#lighter x gn reader#lighter x you#i think i butchered this req idk im sorry anon#i didn't want to make the problems very specific#because everyone goes through different things#but just know that if you're not in a good mental space#it's alright to take breaks#there are people around you who are willing to listen#and lighter exists#he would give the world to you if you so ask#i know this cuz he told me anon mhm#i also don't think i write lighter that well tbh#haha ig this is one of my own personal problems#i hope i didn't ruin him for yall#i think many other writers write him much better than me#but i really appreciate it <3#i hope that everything gets better for you anon#even if its slow it gets better
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honestly Percy and Nico's dynamic is made even funnier when you take into account how Will is written in TSATS. Like, oh okay then, Nico just has horrible taste in men and keeps getting smitten with boys who loathe everything he stands for. Percy stopped being Nico's type because Percy started to respect him too much. Cupid is yelling at Nico to raise his standards while Nico scopes out the latest guy who will treat him wrong to take on a date to the Underworld.
#pjo#percy jackson#riordanverse#nico di angelo#will solace#TSATS#the sun and the star#Cupid: YOU CAN DO BETTER || Nico: You're right! I *could* do worse! || Cupid: *NO*#Nico's self-esteem is so low he thinks people who respect him are a deal-breaker. Cupid Reyna Hazel and Jason screaming in the bg#Nico handshake emoji Leo. ''i know they dont like me and want me to get rid of everything that defines me. but they're willing to date me''#Leo's desperate for approval so he has an excuse. Nico doesnt care about fitting in though so he's just doing that to himself for no reason#these boys have so many problems but it's kinda funny. and makes for interesting narrative
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planet of love
#bsd#bungo stray dogs#akutagawa ryuunosuke#ryuunosuke akutagawa#shin soukoku#sskk#uhmm excuse the fact that the quality on the word fragments is a little bit shit if you look too close#i didn't wanna type it out so i just cropped the lines out of a pic of the poem but obviously that kind of zooming in#doesn't preserve a clean image. i think it looks mostly fine but it could be better#anyway. had a hashtag Thought. do you guys get me#smth smth how we only really see aku express the fact that he cares via being willing to die for people#however the very interesting contrast between “accepting he's going to die for REVENGE for his lost friends”#vs. you know. dying for atsushi to PROTECT him. no vengeance. atsushi is ALIVE and aku dies TO KEEP HIM ALIVE. idk#the difference between protection and vengeance but both times it's love expressed as the intention to die IDK IDK IDKKKKK#DO Y'ALL GET ME#oh btw poem used is planet of love by richard siken. i think we here all on the sad gays website know that already but just in case
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SLIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD BUT NOTHING TOO OBVIOUS (I would've waited a week but this one is pretty vague spoiler wise so...): I feel like most people might think she was being unfairly harsh in part due to her being a teenager and not understanding things. But I also think that's partially not giving her enough credit. I personally think she's very right in her actions, if not a bit melodramatic. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: It is very clear Stolas LOVES Octavia, but his loving and caring about her does not make him a good father. As viewers, we haven't been given any reason that Octavia should forgive Stolas. She seems kind of absent in his life and we've seen him prioritize things like Blitz over her (they make it a point several times in the show with the Asmodeus song and Lulu Land). They've kind of kept alluding to how Stolas does, in action, love Blitz more and doesn't pay enough attention to Octavia. And the show doesn't put a lot of effort into showing him trying to be better in this. He SAYS he is, but actions speak louder than words (and in a show, it's 9/10 times better to show it, not tell it). There hasn't been a moment in the show that shows Stolas putting in effort to mend his relationship with Octavia when we know it's important to him. And granted, yes, they have only so much time and episodes. But by the same token, there are episodes they could've not done (cherubs and Fizzaroli episodes) that could've put focus on Octavia and Stolas' relationship. Stolas' and Octavia's relationship feels more important than the day in the life of Fizz (and I like Fizz and his forgiving Blitz adds to that story, but we didn't need to see his life with Mammon).
If they want to keep hammering in the issues between Octavia and Stolas, then they also need to show the two mending (or bonding) on screen for it to feel fair for Octavia to forgive and trust him. We can't just say "off-screen stuff" as a resolution when this relationship is consistently shown to be rough and needs work. It's like if a show kept showing a couple being terrible for each other, but they keep mentioning stuff they did off-screen that tells us the relationship is good. That's not good writing! And while I have plenty of critiques for Helluva's and Hazbin's writing, I don't feel like they'd try to pull the "they solved it off-screen" thing. I don't think they'd be SLOW about it, but I think they'd at least show us on-screen stuff with it.
While I do think Stolas was in a difficult situation, you can't deny he's not a very good father (he wasn't even aware of her interests until the Lulu Land episode). Like, he can love her all he wants, but if he's not there for her, he's not there. And we haven't been given many reasons for him NOT to be there for her. You can't really name a lot of things Stolas has done in recent times for her that we've been allowed to see. The only part of their relationship we've seen is that they do care for each other but it needs work. I think it's obvious she's gonna forgive Stolas, just in part because he does genuinely want to do better by her and they DID have a good relationship when she was younger. And I think that's a good route to go with it (especially if they make a parallel of Octavia forgiving and trusting Stolas while Barbie chooses to keep hating Blitz).
I feel like people can be a bit lenient on Stolas because he's depressed and was in a loveless forced marriage with a woman while being gay, but I don't think that's fair for a character like Octavia then to have her feelings brushed off. Like there's certainly wiggle room to be sure, but it shouldn't mean we should ignore his actions and forgive him for everything he does. Stolas did do wrong and it makes me happy to see that there are consequences to his actions (good or bad). We've seen him keep flirting with Blitz over spending time with his daughter. These are things we DO see on screen. I do think Octavia was harsh, it's not like I don't (like with her reaction to the pills), but we as viewers haven't been given much reason for Octavia to forgive Stolas so easily. We haven't seen them have a good relationship really. Hell, we haven't even been shown them having a BAD relationship really. But the times we do get, it often shows the rough, bad side of it. Yes, she's 17 so her emotions are a bit wild and everything, and while I don't think she fully understands all the complexities, I also don't think she's a baby. Like... she's not an idiot. Teenagers have the capability to understand some of these things, she's not 5. Octavia wasn't JUST upset about the pills, she's upset because the man who said would always be there for her kept leaving for the imp he had an affair with. She's upset because he keeps being dishonest with her. Stolas has done far more for Blitz than we have seen him do for Octavia. I think the pills and that he's never told her about them was just the final straw of everything.
I don't think it's fair to say "Octavia doesn't know better" when she's 17. The show has hammered in the point that his actions have not = how he feels for Octavia very well. That, or just neglected to show any good bonding moments between them or anything that didn't involve Octavia having to forgive Stolas (as any Octavia episode had Stolas ignoring her and then saying sorry. Which would maybe be fine if they showed more to their relationship outside of that).
Rambled more than I thought I would for the series I have way less interest in, haha. But I don't really care for the "Stolas did nothing wrong" attitude I see some people have when Stolas has done things wrong. He was in an unfortunate situation to be sure, but he can still do wrong things (by all accounts, him cheating on Stella was wrong on a moral level). I LIKE Stolas' character too btw, and I like how messy he is. But I feel like a lot of people are gonna brush off Octavia's view as "she doesn't know any better" or just that she was being unfair about everything when I don't think that's fair to her. She was harsh, yes. I think the pill thing she doesn't understand entirely, but she's 17 not stupid. And there's more than just the pills that Octavia has reason to be mad about concerning her father that I think people don't wanna acknowledge. Maybe I'm talking nonsense though? I don't know, I really haven't been convinced about some of Stolas' actions, even if again his situation was messy/complicated.
#I immediately felt the “people are gonna be like poor baby card” for Stolas with the end there#I don't think their relationship is unmendable but we have been given 0 reason for Octavia to forgive Stolas#If their relationship is important You gotta show them actually fixing it on screen#Charlie and Lucifer reconciling was fast and I have problems with it but we did see them talk (or sing) it out and mend#Don't get me wrong I have issues with Lucifer too#I like both him and Stolas and acknowledge they love their daughters#But I can also acknowledge that by all accounts? Pretty shit dads#Bummer is I'm willing to bet the show is gonna lean into the “Octavia's a teen and doesn't understand” thing when Stolas has hurt her#Even if indirectly#tbh I don't think the show will address everything and it'll be “Octavia was wrong because she didn't know better”#When we've been constantly shown him neglecting her.#Like ONE episode or background thing to show a positive relationship not in the form of her forgiving him would do lots#Celtrist#poll time#helluva boss#helluva boss poll#helluva poll#helluva boss octavia#helluva octavia#helluva boss stolas#helluva stolas#octavia goetia#stolas goetia#helluva boss sinsmas#hellaverse#hellaverse poll#cel rambles
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What a plot twist you were. [x]
#Like. The narrator introduces jc to us as the antagonist#Then we got to know him. Not who people think he's. But who he really is#And we saw jc giving wwx a piggyback. Giving him soup. Rescuing him. Putting himself between wwx and any danger (madam yu/wen soldiers)#And even the staged fight. It's yk. Staged#jc wanted to protect wwx at any cost. But wwx wasn't willing to compromise. But jc did#The fight was wwx's idea. Because jc is an enabler (just like jfm and jyl)#jc is ready to bend for his loved ones sake#The point is. Every action jc takes. Is in the name of his loves ones' safety. And surprise. wwx is one of the people jc really cares about#Even after wwx' return. Aside a broken cup. jc isn't doing much to stop wwx or anything. We know that jl was able to free wwx from Zidian#only because jc - Zidian's primary master- wanted it!#And jc fling himself into danger countless times to save wwx even though wwx can't sit still with him for a hot minute#What I wanted to say it's that the jc is presented to us - the mean ungrateful man- is very different from the real jc -#the indulgent uncle who rolls his eyes at his nephew antics. the brother who buries the hatchet for his sister's happiness.#the uncle who kinda wants to help wn to get up from the floor because he was an ass to jc but he helped jl and that's what matters to jc#the sect leader who let two women speak freely their mind in a patriarchy society#People better than me have already said this. shit I can't remember my point lmao#Like. jc is presented as an antagonist but what this man wanted was an apology and an explanation#This post is a mix of a rant I wrote last year (ha) after seeing a bad take. About what I don't remember lmaoo. And me wanting#to make gifs of wzc in this scene. Why does he look so good. It should be illegal. Seriously#jiang cheng#*mgifs
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its so weird to me personally that some people think that it doesnt make sense for craig to be nice to wildernessa but still hate jason (up until scout guest), but to me the worst thing wildernessa has done is say that craig doesnt know shit about nature vs jason whos basically like "ok tony now hit the second tower" for the majority of his screentime, and people wonder why craig doesnt trust him most of the time huh
#like i truly feel that jason does eventually redeem himself and its deserved. but cmon he literally dammed the creek its no wonder#that craig doesnt like him. he doesnt get the chance to see that jason has changed to become a better person until scout guest#it just seems odd to me that people are willing to forgive jason for doing#lets be honest#much worse things than vanessa. and hes still redeemable.#but vanessa doesnt get to be redeemable just bc shes a little arrogant?#its just like. whatever! theyre kids! they know who they want to hang out with! thats like a big theme of the show!#i digress#ive rambled too much#anyways#craig of the creek#cotc#wildernessa#jason cotc#raccoon speaks#cotc analysis
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Me after reading The S Class That I Raised immediately after reading TCF: i love you main characters that keeps putting yourself in situations despite saying you only want to live a peaceful life (thinks about orv) oh... Not you tho Kim Dokja, you always planned to kill yourself and i love you for that but PLEASE stop
#orv#tcf#the s classes that i raised#kim dokja#cale henituse#han yoojin#look i love all three of them#but everytime i start thinking they are similar#i just get slapped with the fact that dokja had every single intention to remove himself from everyone#just bcs he's a selfish little idiot that wants a specific ending so bad that he was willing to kill himself so he doesn't appear in it#but was still too selfish to actually let the other part of him to go and WANTED desperately to be the one that knows his team best#compared to the other two where they do want their own endings too and would do it their way at any cost#but at least they're not planning to remove themselves from said ending just bcs they think that's better
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Still baffled that Hopes so blatantly wrote Claude as the typical Evil Vaguely Middle Eastern Man set on destroying the Good White Nation for his Evil Vaguely Middle Eastern Nation that is often seen in fantasy settings - complete with him being seen as worse than a white woman who does many of the same evil deeds he does in-verse, even by his friends (should it be the bad ending route of SB) - and so many in the fandom were so eager to gobble that shit up. INSIST that "Clearly A Racist Stereotype" is LEAGUES better than "Subversion Of A Racist Stereotype" even. Like I don't think I'll ever get over how supremely fucked that is
#clyde discourse#anti clyde#like if you ever want a reminder that CIaude plays second fiddle to the other two lords in the fandom's mind here it is this is it#Hopes couldn't be more blatant in how much it wanted CIaude to be EdeIgard's fall guy in two out of three routes#with how they play switcheroo with their character traits#CIaude becomes the imperialistic violent invader who's willing to sacrifice innocents lives for his own gain#and who doesn't give a shit to recognize information that contradicts his beliefs#and EdeIgard becomes the one who always strives for the most peaceful means to resolve conflicts#(just ignore how she's the one who started the conflict like how what everyone in Hopes does - she has her reasons don'cha know!)#like i swear to god hearing all of these people try to sell the dumbass one-note Boss Bozo that is Hopes!CIaude#as ''more interesting'' than his 3H iteration will make my brain leak out of my nose#''what if our first POC lord was a violent evil invader who tricks everyone into thinking he's a good guy''#is not the fucking win you think it is.#like y'all this is PEAK racism. this shit isn't interesting it's brazenly disrespectful#''b-but he's not a bad guy in Hopes!'' THE SHIT HE PULLED WITH SRENG MAKES HIM OBJECTIVELY EVIL LIKE OH MY GOD SHUT UP#there's shit all ''gray and nuanced'' about him needlessly worsening foreign relations WHEN HIS WHOLE SHIT#IS ABOUT BE T T E R I N G FOREIGN RELATIONS. it is clear that in Hopes he either is too braindead to realize the contradiction#or it's just not what he gives a shit about in actuality and he's just saying it is to come across better#with recent reblogs thought i'd post this draft because WOW do people just. not give a shit#''uhm calling something racist is racist ackchually 🤓'' get your dumbass outta here
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I found the scene of Fan Xian and Fan Jian jumping around with the discipline ruler and putting on the anger/punishment act very entertaining, but I just saw someone’s comment that like “Fan Jian knows he can’t hit him” and that made me pause. Can Fan Jian get away with flogging Fan Xian (the emperor’s biological son) if he wants to? How much of his approach to parenting Fan Xian is down to him being well aware that the emperor is looking over his metaphorical shoulder?
#i feel like fan jian is generally super hands off with fan xian and i don't mean it in a literal punishment way#like fan xian gets to cause whatever chaos he wants even when it puts censure on the fan family. and fan xian can even do it on purpose#and fan jian might frown a bit like. you'd better know what you're doing. but he never stops fan xian#he'll check in and give advice but otherwise let him do his thing#the only time he really tried to pressure fan xian was when fan xian was against getting married to wan'er and inheriting the treasury.#but notably those were also things that the emperor wanted fan xian to do.#and i've previously thought like. wow. especially for those times fan jian is like a super laid back dad#prior to this i've never wondered how much he feels he CAN do#given that the emperor wants fan xian mixed up in all these plots and wants fan xian to show him what he's made of#like it seems like the only thing fan jian can really do is be there to try and mitigate the fallout. which he does...#but then... as far as the emperor sees it... fan jian's position as a father is just another performance (that should know its limits)?#(i mean fan jian himself does NOT see his position as pure theatre. he's ready to go against the emperor to defend fan xian's interests.#he was even eventually willing to do it when fan xian was so insistent against the marriage#but that's a different discussion entirely. specifically when it comes to how much he can do TO fan xian... i wonder how he does see it.)#joy of life#joy of life spoilers#joy of life 2
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my favorite scully moments from s2
after the x-files are shut down, she gets moved to teach at the academy, and in episode 1 she does a little monologue on how a person’s body is a physical manifestation of a lifetime, which one of the students describes as “spooky”
when mulder sneaks off to puerto rico in the same episode, she goes into his place to try and figure where tf he went, and prevents his sneaking about being caught by the investigators who broke into his home with the power of feeding his fish
lecturing about the dangers of eating raw steak in episode 2, then getting lost down a rabbit hole of worm science
when no one was answering the door in episode 3, she just walks in. this made me laugh hysterically, i cannot explain. both of these guys WILL enter your home.
every single time she is a bit of a medical nerd, like when she learns about the surgery that allowed people to survive without sleep in episode 4, which she describes as “incredible”
(and the freckles + flower earrings combo were also a fave)
when she scans the piece of metal that came from duane barry in a grocery store in episode 6, and the cash register goes crazy. and she denies involvement and just walks away LMAOOO <- honestly i'd do the same!!
she wakes up from her coma in episode 8 and wants to write a thank you note to the nurse that took such good care of her, only to learn no such nurse ever existed. scully got to witness the paranormal for once!!!!
in episode 9, someone brings up a volcano scientist in conversation, and she says she had heard he was brilliant, which means that somehow she is keeping up with volcano news. she is a woman of many layers.
being deeply worried about this scared looking grad student she just met, and once again not waiting for an answer to enter her room and figure out if she is okay
(and when said grad student is being consumed by a fungus, scully thinks quickly enough to get herself locked behind a door, keeping herself safe, despite being handcuffed and otherwise looking death by fungus in the face)
in episode 11, mulder walks into his office, only to learn she has been there and has been going through his stuff since 6 in the morning. queen of getting results!
in the same episode, an old man overdoses on mushroom pills, and she shifts into Doctor Mode, yelling about “ventricular fibrillation” and “milligrams of lidocaine” and it was, like every other time she goes Doctor Mode, so deeply satisfying to watch
when she meets the two cops in episode 12, and can immediately tell they are having an affair and that the detective is pregnant, and despite the detective pleading with her not to tell a soul, the absolute MILLISECOND she is reunited with mulder, she spills the tea. and he is SHOCKED! <- arguably my favorite moment in the entire series so far
(and, to make the woman feel more comfortable, she confesses to also having had feelings for coworkers before which. elaborate on that, please)
but she really does care; when the detective ends up in the hospital, scully brings her a change of clothing <3
when she is so shaken by what she sees in episode 13 that she goes to the FBI’s onsite therapist; she’s too scared to tell mulder how she feels because “i don’t want him to feel like he has to protect me”
(as if there was ever going to be a choice; he is the protector and he Will protect, it's just his nature)
((and then later sobbing into his arms, realizing she doesn’t have to always put on a front))
toads start falling from the sky in episode 14, so she rationalizes that they likely came from a nearby tornado. this is a scully-approved theory.
they’re investigating a murder in the same episode, and a teenager starts pouring her absolutely horrific trauma out to both of them, scully holds her while she sobs into her jacket
honestly any time either of them know weird information, i love it. she says that it would take hours for a snake to eat a man and then weeks for it to digest in episode 14, and mulder makes some funny remark but it’s sooo endearing to me. she knows her snake facts.
then in episode 15, she notes poison in someone’s blood, but specifically that the poison comes from pufferfish eaten in Japan… girl i’m crying, she just knows stuff!
during that same case, they get rooms near each other like always, and she knocks on a door thinking it’s mulder’s. he doesn’t answer. she walks in and hears water running, so she just talks to him through the door to the bathroom. and i love this so much. i love that they are close enough to just walk into each other’s rooms and talk from behind the door while the other showers. it’s such married behavior.
working on the case in episode 16, we see her at home wearing a flannel, checking her computer, still serving looks but now giving casual
(and seeing the art she keeps on her walls- little postcards of beach scenes <3)
in the same episode, she knows mulder left to go get himself in trouble, so she bursts into skinner’s office to ask for help. but she feels bad for barging in on skinner, so she apologizes to him. which was very sweet.
when mulder is gone, she goes to his apartment to look for clues, and falls asleep on his couch
(and when X knocks on the door, she knows he is hiding something, and screams at him to tell her where he is)
this whole monologue from episode 17, which i loved more than life itself:
“several aspects of this case remain unexplained, suggesting the possibility of paranormal phenomena. but i am convinced that to accept such conclusions is to abandon all hope of understanding the scientific events behind them. many of the things i have seen have challenged my faith and my belief in an ordered universe, but this uncertainty has only strengthened my need to know, to understand, and to apply reason, to those things which seem to defy it”
(and that is just Her, isn't it? the need to understand, to rationalize. the worldview shaped on science- if she doesn't understand something, it's because a key piece is missing, and she'll find it. because the world Has to work that way, has to be bound by a greater logic, even if it is yet to be understood. to imagine otherwise would be impossible, to imagine otherwise would be to abandon hope in everything, and she cannot abandon hope)
((and maybe the idea that the world being something she cannot perfectly comprehend is a failing of her own understanding makes me a little emotional. but still))
she says that the whole loaves and fishes deal was a parable in episode 21; she is not a biblical literalist
(she then makes some sassy remark about things generating spontaneously, and mulder laughs in the corner. good to know he thinks she is funny)
every single time she answers the phone, she says “mulder, it’s me”, and idk i just think it’s so endearing
she thinks she might have been infected with a killer disease in episode 22, but mulder calls, so she tells him she’s okay and to take care of himself out there.... those are the last words she chooses, just in case they never talk again </3
and every time she says unsettling things, like “could be the residue of burnt human flesh” or “darkness covers a multitude of sins”, both in episode 23, i eat that up
reassuring her student who has just become a detective that she is doing just fine!!!
and then going to said student's funeral when things do not turn out fine... she loves her students that she taught for like 3 months so much :(
getting pulled aside by skinner and her bosses after mulder just acted wild in episode 25, and denying that she had seen any top secret files even though they say they will fire her if she lies lmaooo <- she is a ride or die!!!
but also going to his place, demanding assurance that she is doing the right thing by assisting him, and i love that. i love a character who will break all of the rules as long as they believe they are doing the thing that is morally Right, and that definition is so deeply her own, but she is committed to it, and she'll do anything to stick by it. and he just says something about getting the code that he wants broken, and despite how awful he's being, she goes through with it anyway because it's the Right thing to do.
later, her being the one to realize that mulder should not leave the house after his father was killed because he will be the prime suspect (he does not listen to this sound advice)
he stumbles into her place with a million degree fever, and she carefully lays him down in her own bed, despite the fact that he is soaked in his dead father's blood. and she takes care of him.
this one honestly deserves its own post because it is so incredible, but: shooting mulder with enough precision to get him to knock off his wild behavior that was going to make him look like he killed his dad, but not actually HURT him, then finding out krychek was putting LSD in his water, knocking him out, and driving 2 days to New Mexico to get him where he needed to be. AFTER he had been acting wild because he was inadvertently drugged, and had accused her of spying on him and being a traitor. that level of love is deep. very very deep. she is a Lover.
#this is a reupload because i made a typo on the og post and i couldn't bear it so. v2. sorry to all who witnessed v1.#i'm trying to remember what i had said in the tags originally.#something about how she is just one of the characters of all time#she's smart... like when she figured out how to save mulder from alien poison or that he was going to make himself look guilty#and she's kind- when she let some random kid sob into her jacket and brought the detective clothes and tended to drugged out mulder#and she is brave- being willing to disobey her bosses to do the right thing and shoot mulder to save him and admit when she is scared#(even though she originally would not do such a thing- that is character development)#and she is funny but it's dry and understated so it doesn't get the appreciation it deserves#yes this whole post and tags are just a dana scully love post and that is okay. in many ways this is a love account.#hope to start s3 tomorrow because i'm not feeling well today but who knows... maybe i will suddenly perk up and feel better#and we can get started tn? can't rule it out i guess#dana scully#the x files#txf
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OT3: casey stoner/his neuroses/the concept of valentino rossi that mostly exists in casey’s head
y'know I have this casey stoner... idk what it is. thematic mind map (literal), let's say, that I like fiddling with and adding things to when the mood hits me. and it does always strike me just how many of his struggles during his careers and issues with the sport can in some way be linked back to the valentino rivalry
casey's sense of isolation? super valentino related. casey's feelings of cultural alienation in a paddock dominated by europeans? even when it's not really related to valentino, casey is the one linking those two things together. casey's issues with other riders not being respectful enough on track? very obviously repeatedly about valentino. casey's discomfort with the performance and entertainment-related aspects of the sport? more valentino. casey feeling treated unfairly by the manufacturers, the media, the marshals, the fans.... keeps coming back to valentino. casey's mystery illness really shouldn't be as relevant to the rivalry as it is, but somehow through this combination of public discourse and whatever comparisons casey's brain is cooking up at any moment in time... there valentino is again
one of the most charming things about valentino's feuds is that in each and every single one, both participants end up being deeply weird about each other? just keep knocking off these banger quotes about the other where you read them and go. hm. what's going on there then. I don't want to make it sound like I think casey is the worst offender with this (not when marc and valentino have their whole thing going on, bidirectionally)... but I do think he's the most susceptible to conflating his valentino issues with like... everything else that was going on in his career. to the extent where his alienation with the sport as a whole, his extreme disillusionment from everything related to motogp, really cannot be meaningfully disentangled from the valentino rivalry. at times it feels like, to casey, valentino literally is the sport. and that's the thing casey dedicated his whole life to!! which means you do inevitably end up regularly going 'wow there's a lot to unpack'. add in a dash of neuroticism...
and yeah you're so right anon!! the neuroses are what end up creating the version of valentino that mostly exists in casey's head, a version that casey is just a touch obsessed with. I always think it's interesting how aware casey is that he doesn't know valentino as a person - and to the extent casey does know him, he gets on pretty well with him... but valentino the person isn't all that relevant to him. it's valentino the character who matters - and can you even really know a character? in the end, all casey can do is rely on his own understanding of that character, as imperfect as it is. and, well, in a way casey is trapped with that character forevermore. if one man comes to embody a sport to such an extent and if that sport has been your life's work, how can you not be a little bit trapped? as he tries to make his peace with the sport and his experiences within it, so too has casey settled on a narrative of valentino that helps him make sense of it all... a very specific understanding of his rival that casey has shaped in his mind and still trots out now when he sells his own version of events to the media. casey learned from valentino, casey learned to be a little more like valentino, casey learned to fight valentino with his own tools, casey tells himself a story of that fight. he still continues to do so - and in the end he will never be entirely free of valentino
#'do you ever talk to valentino' 'i don't talk to europeans' casey buddy what's going on there#'everybody's going on like he's a crippled hero' *pinches bridge of nose*#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#heretic tag#'x fell first but y fell harder' but make it about feud escalation#it is. interesting. how little the two of them engage in laguna '08 discourse for about two years and then rediscover it in mid 2010#casey's very similar to valentino in that regard in that he doesn't necessarily lash out immediately#but he remembers. and he resents. and he seethes. and then eventually lets it all out and you go 'huh'. very valentino#like it is SO important to remember that after initially losing his temper at laguna... *most* of the laguna quotes are from YEARS later#(apart from that one early 2009 interview with an italian paper where he was clearly just in a FOUL mood like it's dreadful)#I genuinely think casey's mystery illness contributed more to the change in tone of that rivalry than laguna did#laguna laid the groundwork in terms of resentment but you needed something for casey actually to be willing to go ALL in#idk in a way it's the only rivalry where valentino is the one on the receiving end of Remember That Thing You Did Thirty Years Ago#like they ARE similar!! they're ridiculously adept at holding grudges!! they relish twisting the knife!!#I think it's interesting jorge was talking about how valentino is better at him at knowing when to choose his moments to lash out#because you can say casey did the exact same thing. he'd learned to clamp down on his immediate irritable reactions#and instead get himself to a place where he could attack valentino from a position of strength#basically they're the two aliens i'd get to go on a revenge quest for me. like i think they'd be good at revenge quests#conspiracy theories and revenge quests. that's what i think they're good at
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"One thing that I've always said about Juan is that every action that he does is heartfelt and genuine. When it was the war against the French, he was there and he was going to go to war, even though he knew he was going to die. He saw them getting ripped apart, but he was there and he was going to do it. I believe if Lucrezia hadn't come over, he would have led all his troops into death. I don't think there's anything that he's done which was through general cowardice. In terms of his survival, he died how he lived, and that's laudable, in itself." — David Oakes.
#it just gets to me that juan is a kid who has no fucking clue what he's doing since his dad gave him a position that's difficult for him#and as much as he was scared to death of the french army and witnessing his troops being torn to shreds...#he was willing to die to protect rome and impress his dad because he's terrified knowing that his dad trusts and confides only in cesare#the family's fuck-up trying not fuck up?#the only reason juan retreated is because of his love for lucrezia and how she would be upset if he died and he can't have THAT#the writing was so biased against him because they were too busy propping up cesare i fear but alas#anyways juan borgia deserved better. being completely discarded by his family is such a tragic fate for a character.#a character who's storyline is trying to impress them but they've always ganged up on him which is annoying#juan borgia#david oakes#the borgias#theborgiasedit#periodedits#perioddramaedit#weloveperioddrama#juan x lucrezia#dailyworldcinema#tvarchive#cinemapix#by jen
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no further comments at this time
#i just#these songs are so them#for mickey it’s:#‘i can’t hide from you like i hide from myself’#‘i remember who i am when i’m with you’#‘your love is tough your love is tried and true blue’#‘you’ve never done me wrong except for that one time that we don’t talk about because it doesn’t matter anymore’#for ian it’s:#‘i don’t know why i am the way i am not strong enough to be your man’#‘always an angel never a god’#because!! ian feels like he’s let mickey down so many times#but mickey always comes back because he loves ian!! and he forgives him!!#and ian’s scared that he’ll let mickey down again or that his bipolar will get bad again#but that’s a risk mickey’s willing to take bc he loves ian!!b#because ian is the only one who’s ever really seen him and loved him for who he is!!#and their love is better and stronger because of everything they had to go through#they can look back in pain and embrace healing at the same time!#gallavich#but i digress!!!
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it’s funny how things have gone full circle with malenia. she was so hated when the game first came out, but then people grew to like her. then the dlc came out and now people hate her again lmao
#i mean it’s hardly surprising given what we now know#she did all that awful shit and wasn’t even charmed#like i see people talk about how stupid miquella is because of this plan to essentially trap radahn#but that also makes malenia look stupid af too#‘go to caelid and kill radahn so i can marry him’ ans she was like sure#miquella wanted the one guy in the lands between who loves war and fighting to be his consort for his age of peace and compassion…#what a genius he is.#makes me wonder why he even needs some heavy weight to keep order for him when he can just charm people into submission#was radahn just there as a ceremonial position?#oh wait i forgot miquella thinks he’s super kind so that’s why he wants him#miq learnt about the gravity magic horse thing and swooned#honestly still can’t get over how incredibly stupid the twins look after the dlc#i think people like to imagine malenia was charmed just because it makes it all look slightly better on her part#like they are just making excuses for her#but holy shit the fact she was all but willing to fucking die so miquella could bag radahn..#what a thing to die for lmao#and he was apparently present after the battle? but didn’t do anything to help either radahn nor malenia?#instead he was helping a random redmane?#he obviously knew malenia had bloomed but ultimately didn’t care i guess#kind of like ‘oh well if she’s still alive when I get back i’ll deal with it then’#honestly wish miquella had just died in that cocoon at this point#tbh he doesn’t really do much in the dlc anyway they could have made it more about messmer and marika#hell bring melina into it please that would have been more interesting at this point#we didn’t need the dubcon incest plot micheal you could have left that one in the drafts#i gotta get this out of my head it’s driving me nuts#seriously need to move on from this game for my own sanity
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