#and he sure as hell does NOT know i’m a furry

[jaevy]

spent a good amount of my day avoiding a guy who wanted to be my valentine how’s everyone else doing today

[ghostlyangels1204]

Simon would make a good dog dad- that's it, that's where my mind is rn <3

“Absolutely not”.

Price was full of shit. That much he knew. And with this new bright idea, Simon’s new concern had been confirmed. His Captain had absolutely gone mad. One too many bumps on the head, he reasoned, had dealt too much damage- pair that with his ‘old age’, and Simon considers sending him to a care home.

There was no doubt in his mind- he was not having a slobbering, shitting furry nuisance by his side 24/7. What the hell was Price thinking? “I don’t need no’ furry mongrel. I’m a soldier not a dog walker Cap’.”, “The K9 handler’s wife just gave birth- fella needs time off, so I thought, why not give her to the softest soldier I know?” He knew Price was pulling his leg. “Just give it a week, eh Si? Seven days and if you want rid of her, she’s gone and some other poor sod can have her to cuddle at night.”

He stares down at the puppy, no more than a few months old, who is happily chomping down on the laces of the captain’s boots. Looking up, he meets the eyes of Price, “If it shits in my boots once, I’m handing it to you personally.”

The first few days went as expected, Simon wanted to die.

4am scratching at the door to go potty. Stealing his boxers when he needed to get dressed, (Johnny took extra entertainment at that one- even forming an alliance with the puppy to hide his clothes from him during his shower- he got two weeks of cleaning the barracks for that one), and she seemed to have a special fixation on everyone’s shoe laces, nipping and tugging at the cotton until blood flow was cut-off from them being wound too tight. He wasn’t made for the level of patience required. Sure, he had to deal with new recruits daily- their brazen, ‘-I-know-it-all’ attitudes that would someday get them killed… but shouting at them would result in at least a modicum of change.

That result cannot happen as easily with dogs.

But Price began to notice a shift. The team sat down for dinner, exhausted after a hell of a long day of drills. One person was missing from the table, however, Simon. They reasoned that he must be showering or something. But when he enters the mess hall, they notice the ‘small sergeant’ by his side- head bopping up and down as she patters next to her foster handler. He sits down with a huff, and she dives down under the table, spinning in circles before curling up next to Simon’s feet. She rests her head on the toe of his boots before closing her eyes.

“She needed a run around- little mutts’ wound up. Won’t sleep tonight if I don’t tire her out…”

The rest of the men smirk to themselves- Price always knew to trust his intuition.

And when day seven came around, Simon didn’t mention anything. Price knew he never forgets anything, so he was actively avoiding it. Avoiding having to admit he maybe, just maybe… liked having her around. He knocks twice on his office door, a gruff, “come in” allowing him to enter the Lieutenant’s space. Price does a quick scan of the room, eyes landing on the prize.

She’s cuddled up on a bed Simon had ordered for her, the pastel pink standing out like a sore thumb in Simon’s dull, grey office. The bed is nicer than his own, two blankets decked out with floral patterns covering the pillowy surface, a small teddy bear tucked under her chin as she sleeps the evening away.

One look is all Price needs, his eyes plead both, “Don’t even start,” with, “Please don’t make me give her up.”

“Made a friend?” Price teases, opting for a softer approach. He has no intent of taking her away, just wants his soldier to admit, that maybe he in fact, was wrong.

 “Like you wouldn’t believe…”

Word Count: 662

[peachycrisis]

Sharp as a Sword

Chapter 1

During a mishap in gym class, Hazel tells Dev that she hopes he goes to hell.

As she tries to apologize for what she said, Dev wishes for himself, Hazel, and their fairy godparents to get sent to hell at that very instant.

Well, this is going to be interesting.

—————

Today was a weird day.

A very weird day.

Today was a weird day for Hazel, for Dev, and for everyone else involved. The day started off normal, with the kids going to school with their fairy godparents disguised as different school supplies on each of the desks: Cosmo was a pen, Wanda was an eraser, and Peri was white out- mainly due to the fact that Dev had stated that pencils were for… “poor people…?”

It was midway through the day, and the two were in gym class. The kids were instructed to work together to climb a rope- with one holding the end, keeping it sturdy as the other one used the knots tied throughout the rope to climb up.

Dev and Hazel were paired up, to Devs over exaggerated and not-actually-unhappy dismay.

He would never admit it, but he had grown rather fond of Hazel Wells during the last couple of weeks…

All started well as Dev held the bottom of the rope as Hazel climbed, keeping it as sturdy as he can. He was very focused on the task at hand until he heard a ringing from his pocket… he tried to ignore it, as he wanted to focus on the rope- but it got too loud for him to handle. He let go of the rope, his… dad…?

his dad was calling him…?

He answered the phone, smiling- not noticing Hazel starting to slip. He didn’t notice Hazel struggling as he realized that his dad hung up without saying a word… what…?

butt dial…

“DEV!” Hazels voice broke him out of his thoughts…

“Hazel..?” Hazel was on the ground now, seemingly had either jumped off or climbed down the rope without him keeping it sturdy for her. A sharp guilt buried itself within his heart as he looked at her walk towards him.

“Dev!” She yelled, “What the heck, man!”

“Hazel, I’m sorry… my dad-“

“I had to climb down, all by myself- no thanks to you… I hope you go to hell-“ she stopped herself- realizing what she has said. She looked at him, his face hung- dumbfounded.

“I-“

“DEV IM SO SORRY IM SO-“ she cried running towards him, going to envelope him into a big hug before he stops her.

“No, you’re right.”

“… what?” Hazel looked at him, genuinely confused.

“You’re right, in fact- PERI!”

The white out- turned purple headphones morphed into his fairy form, looking at dev- confused, but also knowing the kid was going to make a stupid decision.

“Peri, I wish we were all in hell. All of us. In hell. Now.” Dev said, looking at the purple fairy.

“… what?” The young fairy stutters. “Dev… I- I’m not sure that is a good-“

“Does it look like I care?” The kid yelled, starring daggers into Peri. Peri gulped and waved his wand.

“As you wish… kid…”

—————————

Hazel opened her eyes to see red sky… what…? Where was she? She looked beside her, and saw Cosmo and Wanda… they looked- different?

Cosmo had bigger wings… they were huge. The wings were gold and white and feathery- and he had two spheres intertwined with each other that surrounded his head. The two spheres were covered in eyeballs, the same shade of green that Cosmo has been known for. A hot, golden glow radiated off of him.

Wanda looked relatively the same, but also had bigger wings: feathery and angled- the feathers looked to be as sharp as a sword. She also seemed to have an eye on her chest- a big eye, maybe the size of a baseball

What was going on?

She looked around, noticing that they looked like they were in an abandoned alleyway. She looked up and saw a poster.

It seemed to be a furry creature- it was white and fluffy, and posed in what Hazel could only imagine as underwear.

“Angel Dust- one night only… Is that like Patty Possum for grown ups?” She heard a voice ask, she looked behind her and saw Dev and Peri, Peri looked relatively the same but instead of his small fairy wings he was now sporting 6 beautiful wings- 3 on each side, colored in purple, gold, and white. He was also taller- she assumed that the 3 of them were in their human forms with these… add ons?

Her attention went back to her godparents, who were still knocked out.

“Wanda…? Cosmo…?” She softly called out. She watched as Wanda slowly opened her eyes… looking around, before her eyes went wide…

“No… no no no.”

“What?” The kids, including Peri- asked in unison.

“These forms… we’re not supposed to show these forms… we’re never supposed to show these forms…”

“What do you mean?”

“We are not supposed to-“ she is cut off by the voice of a woman.

“Oh dear! What do we have here!” A sweet voice called out, thick with a rich New York Accent.

They looked over to see the silhouette of a woman near the entrance of the alleyway- she had a big hat and an umbrella, and smelt of roses and vanilla,

“Hi Ma’am, where are we?” Hazel asked cautiously.

“Oh darling, dontcha know? You’re in hell! Seems like you’re new meat, huh?”

The woman noticed the tense vibe, and watched as the two kids just stared at each other. She sighed and then frowned sorrowfully. She always felt bad for newbies, being that they just died and must be lost and confused.

“Oh don’t be scared,” she said sadly “the first day is tough- I know, but it will get better, I tell ya!”

“Who are you…?” Dev asked cautiously, walking towards the woman- Hazel and Peri not far behind. Wanda stays behind to take care of an almost awake Cosmo Cosma.

“I’m Rosie Darling! Oh aren’t you a sweet thing! The acid rain is about to start, why don’t you come back to the colony and I can get you guys settled.” She smiled. The two kids and Peri stared at each other, before reluctantly agreeing.

“Wonderful!” She cheered, looking genuinely happy and trustworthy, The group followed not far behind her, with Wanda carrying Cosmo bridal style with a blanket covering his head. Only god knows what is on that blanket, but at that particular moment she found it not important nor did she care.

“I have a friend that will be just dying to meet all of you when we get to my shop! He’s may seem a little stand off ish and unsettling at first, but he’s a little teddy bear once you get to know him!”

Hazel and Dev looked at each other once again.

This is going to be fun.

[ms-scarletwings]

We gotta start accurately calling Sly Cooper a low fantasy universe at some point. It’s retrospectively wild how much supernatural shit is going on in front of your face that you don’t think about because it’s like… nothing to the characters that it’s happening to. People who have never played Sly Cooper have no clue how nonchalantly it grinds this rail between just “real world noire but furries” and straight up DC superpowers stuff.

• The surprising amount of undead, in hindsight

Black magic is just, you know, a thing…. and outside of when it’s the weapon of choice of the villain of the week, it’s not even really brought up. Tsao was building an army of honest to god vampires and Mz.Ruby has been fraternizing with homemade ghouls since she was a child. A second-game side quest involves descetrating a tomb, kidnapping a bunch of restless ghosts, and then unleashing them on the cops for a good prank. For Pete’s sake, Clockwerk, biggest bad of the franchise, is basically an eldritch machine possessed by the vengeful spirit of someone who became too petty and angry to die.

• There are people born with innate superpowers

So, there is no debate going on with the deal about Cooper abilities and this point, right? Sure, the Theivious Raccoonus has a lot of good pointers any thief worth their salt could gain from, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say somethings along the lines of gliding down lasers or turning invisible on command are a bit out of most readers’ capabilities. The 1st game’s humor in explaining off gameplay mechanics as in-universe phenomena had the unintended consequence of establishing that the Cooper clan members literally have a criminally inclined sort of spidey sense- literally hallucinating glowing auras and blue sparkles around anything both valuable and not nailed down. I think I also awkward appreciated the parallel to be spotted between the Cooper honer code and the self imposed limitations other media supers live by. That idea of “you have the gift of amazing power and you will choose to use it responsibly”, all the better here for the ways in which the clan’s premise subverts classic hero/villain dynamics.

• Ancient techniques of sorcery

run right alongside conventional weaponry

Some supers are born in this world, a lot of them are made. As if anyone with the time to practice and learn can just pick it up like karate. Religion has to be crazy in Sly Cooper considering there’s entire spiritualisms given demonstrable and epic power in what their followers are capable of. Murray literally can do some degree of magic from the third game and onward and there’s no telling what else he learned over the course of his Dreamtime training. Anyone with the wits and resources of the Contessa can figure out how to toy around with freaking mind controlling dark arts. Don’t get me started again on the whole “army of undead” thing which gets even weirder by the implication that the world does nothing to regulate these kind of abilities UP AND UNTIL the user starts to roleplay a cocky little warlord with their zombie friends. And Flame Fu is right there. A lot of what the panda king can do is closer to Bentley’s realm- very complicated and meticulous works of pyrotechnics, but Flame Fu is a whole something else that belongs in this discussion.

• Magical items and mythical beasts

The Mask of Dark Earth, the guru’s special stone, an entire kraken, a whole laundry list of things in The Contessa’s possession, an enormous swamp serpent, haunted trees, whatever the hell kind of ring Dimitri was wearing in the second game, a giant stone dragon statue that turns out to be AN ACTUAL FREAKING DRAGON in dormancy, a supercharged ancient bamboo forest, potentially the Cooper cane itself, and the not-to-be-overlooked every single piece of Clockwerk’s cursed body. I know I’m probably forgetting something because that was just off the cuff. It’s kind of wild that most of what we watch the Coopers focus on stealing can be stuff like museum paintings in a world where magic flying carpets are confirmed to exist. The hell. Why was I ever mocking the pirates in Bloodbath Bay for their paranoia and superstition?? Best part was always that basically none of it phased the resident smarty pants nerd character like it usually would anyone who fills that trope. Because of magic is just an accepted and normalized thing in the world, why WOULD Bentley talk about it any different than he would the history of lumberjacks or combustion physics? Instead of conflicting against his understanding of science, it just tacks onto it as more additional info, you know… the way it would if magic was just another set of rules to study and understand.

[peak-dumbass]

I’m bored and procrastinating so let me spout my rid2015!smokebee propaganda at y’all please just hear me out

Now y’all maybe wondering “why are you specifying rid2015?? Smokescreen was only in TFP, bro doesn’t exist in rid2015–” EXACTLY! Smokescreen wasn’t in rid2015 so most of the stuff made for the ship is for them in TFP but that’s not what I’m trying to sell y’all on

I’m trying to sell y’all on the idea that — if Smokescreen was in rid2015, he would be in a relationship with Bee — hence the specification

Now what y’all are probably asking is “why????”

Well that’s what this post is for!! First off:

The Shenanigans

Idk if y’all remember but Smokey was the silliest bot on Team Prime, easily the most immature mf in the main cast (other than Miko) — now try to tell me without lying to my face that he wouldn’t fit in perfectly with the goofy goobers the make up Team Bee??

He would definitely see himself in Sideswipe and try to bond with him thru pranks and goofing off while also trying to guide him into avoiding the same mistakes he made (ex. Hard Knocks)

He probably makes Strongarm feel conflicted cuz his reckless personality clashes with her image of what an “Elite Guardsman” would act like, but I think Smokescreen would just try to get her to loosen up a bit while not bickering with her unlike what Sideswipe and her usually do

Upon seeing Grimlock he’d immediately go “HOLY SCRAP ARE YOU A DINOBOT!?!?!”, he thinks Grim is so cool and really wants to spar with him

He probably sees Arcee in the way Drift acts and respects him a lot just based on that alone, though he knows it’s gonna take time for him to earn that respect back from Drift (I LOVE HIS CHARACTER GROWTH IN PRIME AND I WILL KEEP THAT IN THIS SILLY LITTLE IDEA OF MINE, HE DID GET BETTER AND I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE IGNORE THAT JUST CUZ THEY FIND HIM ANNOYING)

He’s probably not met much minicons so he’s not used to them, but I can see him having a good friendship with Fixit and being very nice to Jetstorm and Slipstream

He takes one look at Russell, turns to Bee and says “do you have a thing for human kids with brown hair and names starting with R??” Other than that I think he vibes with Russell and Denny well

As for his dynamics with the Decepticons — he’d be making constant quips, he’d make fun of all of them immediately like a robot alien version of Spider-Man — after previously fighting against Megatron himself he cannot take any of the furries of rid2015 seriously

The Fluff

Look at me. Like seriously look at me. Look into my eyes and imagine with me for a sec.

Bee and Smokey learning how to work with each other in the field again, reminiscing about the rare good memories during the war

Bee infodumping about Earth culture to him while Smokey just listens while looking at him with borderline heart eyes

I think Bee really likes physical affection and words of affirmation so randomly Smokey will just hug Bee when they’re in the scrapyard and will compliment him when he does well at leading and mentoring the others cuz he knows that shit ain’t easy (again, he sees himself and Sideswipe and realizes “damn I really was annoying holy scrap I’m so sorry”)

I HC that Smokey can still move his doorwings like he and Bee did in TFP, so whenever he sees Bee and gets excited his flap up and down (I know this is purely self indulgent BUT IN MY DEFENSE THIS ENTIRE POST IS ME BEING SELF INDULGENT, THIS FANDOM IS ALREADY DEAD AS HELL I’D BE SURPRISED IF ANYONE EVEN READS THIS FAR INTO THIS POST, LET ME BE SELF INDULGENT IN PEACE)

When either of them get bad days where they just keep thinking about the war, they do their best to comfort each other thru it cuz, unlike the rest of the team, they were both there for most of the late-war-shit together on Earth — and for the stuff that Smokey wasn’t there for, he just listens and makes sure Bee knows that he’ll always be there for him

The shock of the team finding out that Bee has a partner is amazing and it could happen in so many ways (if y’all wanna see one of my interpretations on how this could go you could check out my fanfic: Old Recruit on AO3)

The team seeing their usually serious team leader be partners with this unserious constant-joker of a bot stores a lot of cute potential stories in it that no one is writing about — like come on guys I want Bee trying to be serious in the scrapyard but then Smokey just hugs him from behind out of nowhere and Bee just has to process it for a sec cuz touch starvation go brrrr while the rest of them is like :O

The Angst

While this section is mainly Smokey focused more than smokebee focused, I’m still adding it cuz this still falls under the “what if smokescreen was in rid2015” idea

Smokey definitely has claustrophobia and a hatred for being restrained in anyway from the TFP (waking up captive on a Decepticon ship after being knocked out, Knockout restraining him on his operating table while he tears the Omega Key from inside his body, being stuck with a dying Optimus in a cramped cave for a while panicking cuz holy shit Optimus, his #1 hero, is fucking dying) so any mission that requires going into a cave or dark & cramped area is gonna cause him to freak out — but of course he wouldn’t actually admit that until it’s too late and he’s having a breakdown in a cave cuz he didn’t want to let his “stupid irrational fear to ruin a mission”

Same goes with Bee and his fears — I touched on this a bit earlier, but Bee & Smokey definitely have some days where they’re gonna feel off and they can’t get the war out of their heads — and those days are gonna be the worst cuz most of the team outside of maybe Drift won’t really understand it

Smokey is gonna have some feelings about Optimus coming back and Bee not telling him immediately — while this isn’t the first time Optimus died and came back to him, last time it was for a few seconds, this was for THREE WHOLE YEARS — he’s still gonna be happy that he’s back, it’s just gonna take awhile longer for him to be ok with it than the others (the way that Ratchet is immediately ok with Optimus coming back out of nowhere in rid!2015 was weird to me so I’m fixing that with Smokey)

While he loves giving Bee physical affection, he hates unwarranted touching from anyone else, specifically stuff like pats or punches on the back (Alpha Trion when I get you Alpha Trion Alpha Trion when I get you Alpha Trion Alpha Trion when I get you Alpha Trion Alpha—)

For a potential angsty introduction to Smokey in rid2015: He doesn’t meet up with Team Bee until the finale episode on Cybertron, where he’s being mind controlled by The High Council to capture them (I’m a sucker for brainwashing/mind control/hypnotism plots so I need to understand how BADLY I WANTED THIS TO HAPPEN IN THE SHOW IT WOULD’VE BEEN SO COOL)

That’s all I can think of for now, I just love these funky big robos a lot and I’m currently smashing their faces together like a kid with 2 Barbie dolls in my mind, hope y’all enjoyed reading <3

[doctor-badadvice]

They don't make shows like they used to. Remember when Shredder was a professional furry maker? Or Krang, probably the funniest alien ever. Or even Irma from Channel 6 who was willing to shag a comedically offensive Italian stereotype, a robocop and master Splinter, in this order, in just a handful of episodes!

Well, I didn't. I haven't watched ‘87 TMNT in like, two decades on a tv channel that doesn't even exist anymore. This has been one hell of a ride and I'm only at season 3.

So for the longest time Baxter in my mind was just some guy who got turned into a fly for reasons. I didn't even know he was white or basically Gollum. He seriously had a slimy vibe before starring in The Fly and I had no idea.

But 2003 Baxter Stockman is simply on another level. He's smart, greedy and so damn full of himself. He’s also incredibly dramatic! Half the show’s budget would have gone into animating him doing dramatic poses if he didn’t get dismembered.

And it’s no surprise this is the same man who took time to program the mousers to wag their tails. He's great and deserves a Nobel prize (just so he'll stop putting himself in situations for five minutes).

But that’s just scraping the surface and this is a good time to poke @teenagemutantninjatrauma as requested.

(insert the Charlie Day meme I still haven’t had time to draw)

As I was saying, I feel like Baxter deserves more recognition. He's a regular human in a world with mutant turtles, superpowered secret agents and alien war criminals and man, he doesn't give a single fuck about any of it.

He also doesn't have many limbs left but does he have any regrets? Does he ever stop running his mouth? Hell no. Shredder isn’t safe from his snarky remarks—

Shredder isn’t safe. One of my favorite moments from the early seasons is when Baxter crashes the epic showdown between Shredder and the turtles with a mecha he apparently whipped up in an afternoon (like the girlboss he is) and they go

Leo: What do we have to do to stop this guy?

Shredder: I have asked myself that question many times

And no amount of torture made him less of a vengeful bitch. Baxter attacked Shredder again after that until one of his betrayal plots finally worked and he ran off to have fun with the EPF like

These two are truly something.

It’s funny to go back to the early episodes to see Baxter go “Giant mutant turtles? Time for a dissection >:)”. It’s like these two were made to work together from the start.

Again, I’ve said before that the only reason Bishop doesn’t have to fear as much is that he’s somehow a far better employer than you’d expect. Baxter is looking for a way to make himself a new viable body, not a mecha since I’m sure dealing with sensory deprivation for so long must be awful. But much to Bishop’s dismay, I’m sure, not even he is safe. And if you think about it, Stockman (derogatory) is the one who gets the closest to murdering Bishop. Twice!

Yes, technically the first time it was an accident since the genetics lab blowing up wasn't planned. But he really went “Fuck it. I’m murdering the President today.” and it almost worked!

So really, it’s best to stay on Baxter’s good side. He can’t fight but he will find a way to kill you if he hates you enough.

[fleurywiththesave]

Meet cute with bowie for leon and matthew

Bowie is the secret ingredient at least 75% of the time.

50. Meet cute

It's not like they don't get snow in St. Louis, but Matthew was woefully unprepared for the reality of Calgary winters. And somehow he always manages to forget about said reality during the summer and then be surprised by it all over again. Not so much "we're going to Disneyland!" surprised as "we thought you just needed a cleaning but you actually have three cavities to be filled" surprised.

It's not actually actively snowing right now, but the remnants of last night are piled high and the sidewalks are slippery as hell. Matthew is cursing himself for the dozenth time for being stupid enough to think that he didn't need to wear his heavy-duty boots when a frantic voice rises up behind him.

"Bowie! Bowie, STOP!"

Things happen too quickly for Matthew to really process. He turns around in time to see a dog come bounding up the sidewalk, slip on the same ice that Matthew's been battling, and start to skid toward the street where a car is just starting to turn.

Matthew doesn't think. He just dives for the dog, catching it before it can go into the road, and lands flat on his ass on the sidewalk.

"Fuck." That's about all he can manage. The wind has been thoroughly knocked out of him and there's a stinging pain radiating through his tailbone. The dog is nosing curiously at his face, apparently completely unaware that Matthew just saved its furry little butt.

"Oh my god," the frantic voice says. "Oh my god, are you okay?!"

"Yeah," Matthew answers through a wince, carefully pushing himself up to sitting. When he looks up, he’s greeted by an extremely worried, extremely attractive face.

“Thank you so much,” the owner of the face says. “And sorry. Shit, I probably should’ve said that in the other order. Sorry. Again. Are you okay? Again?” It feels a little incongruous that someone who looks like that could sound so awkward, and Matthew is automatically charmed.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Matthew assures him. He’s pretty sure it’s true — he didn’t hit his head and the literal pain in his ass is subsiding. On the other hand, he wishes he didn’t look like such a hot mess in front of a guy with such nice eyes and such good hair, but that’s really a separate issue.

“I can’t believe you did that,” the guy says. The worry is being replaced by something like admiration. Matthew definitely does not mind having that directed at him.

“All in a day’s work,” he says. “Yesterday I climbed a tree to rescue a kitten. The fire department was furious.” That gets him a laugh, a very nice-sounding one. “Uh, here’s your dog.”

“Really, I don’t know how to thank you,” the guy says, pulling the dog close. “The leash just slipped and I couldn’t catch him…”

“It’s no big deal,” Matthew says.

“We’ll have to agree to disagree on that one,” he answers. “I’m Leon. And this little devil is Bowie.”

“Matthew.” He moves to stand up and Leon puts a hand on his arm to help him. Jesus, his hands are big. Fuck it, Matthew’s going to go for it. If it’s weird, he can always dive back into the snow until Leon leaves. “If you want to thank me, how about you buy me a cup of coffee?”

Apparently it’s not weird, because Leon breaks into a wide grin.

“I can do that.”

Matthew is really looking forward to finding out what else he can do to make Leon smile like that.

[thebindingofpillo]

Heaven, Hell and everything in between!! As usual I did not proofread any of this, so if you find any mistakes you have full permission to execute me uwu and if you ever need some claryfications I am always ready to answer some asks!!

Anyway, this is the RAU universe. The RAUniverse, if you will. We have Earth, Heaven, Hell and the Void (which is not a really-real dimension but we’ll worry about that later). Every dimension exists as separated from the others. There are ways for angels, demons and human souls to travel from dimension to dimension, but these are few and far between (and I’ll explain better later, in the Bridge section). Every single dimension was created by God, even Hell.

Earth (a.k.a. our dimension)

Humans live here. The physical plane basically. Created by God, as well as everything else. Not really much to say about this! It’s the world as we know it, with all its good and bad. Note: the name Earth does not mean that only the Earth is part of the physical realm! Space and places outside planet Earth also count. You will not reach Heaven by going really high up into the sky, sorry :(

Heaven

Very nice place. It has three tiers, one reserved for humans, one for angels and one for God. At the center of Heaven there is the Garden of Eden, uprooted by God and then placed into a different dimension after Eden (the angel) deserted their post on Earth. To this day, Eden has no idea that the Garden has been transplanted into Heaven (they could know of they wanted to, because they’re omniscient, but they’re actively refusing to think about the Garden at the moment), but that’s not really important here.

Human tier When a human dies, their soul crosses the Bridge (more on that later) and if they’re considered worthy they end up in Heaven. The human parto of heaven is pretty neat, even if I’m still a bit short on the imagination side. I liked the idea from Supernatural where people constantly relive the best day of their lives but idk seems a bit too boring. The basic idea is that Heaven is a place where humans feel their best all the time. If they were plagued by illness, now they’re hale. Everyone is living again in the best possible version of themselves (with like, some caveats, like if your ideal version of self is a furry then tough luck sorry). But yeah, Heaven is the bestest place in the universe where you can bask in God’s light and grace until the end of days. Humans cannot travel through the tiers -- this was put in place by God once he uprooted the Garden, He made it impossible for humans to access it and even put a whole tier of angels between it and humanity for good measure — but that’s not really a problem since heaven is pretty nifty. It is possible, however, to visit other people in the human sphere! So you can always hang out with your pals. The only human who can travel to the Garden is Enoch/Metatron, and that’s just because he was turned into an angel when he ascended.

Angel tier Angels live here. It’s kinda like a city (the Silver city??) but angels don’t really spend a lot of time here, they’re always moving in and out of the various spheres to do God’s bidding, fight demons, and other cool stuff. While humans are confined to the outer sphere, angels can freely travel through all the different layers of heaven, and access the garden, and converse with God directly. While angels do not need rest in a physical sense, it’s always nice to have a little place for themselves where they can wind down after a long century of work. I am still not sure about the design of the city itself (I kinda thought of it like a giant hive suspended in the clouds). Each angel has their own little cell but they can visit eachother.

The Garden of Eden (God is here) The innermost tier of Heaven. Before the Garden, only God lived here, sitting on a throne and surrounded by His angels. The Garden was on Earth before (hidden in a long lost valley, surrounded by very high mountains I think), but after Eden dipped to go live with humanity, God didn’t want anyone stumbling onto the Garden by mistake, and instead of sending another angel to pick up Eden’s slack, He decided to just pack everything and take it home, where He could watch over it Himself. His throne is still somewhere in the Garden, but God is much less inclined to sit on it lately, deeply preferring spending time tending to the plants, keeping them nice for the eventual return of humanity. When’s that exactly supposed to happen? Nobody knows, not even his closest advisors. Not even Apollyon. If asked, the Great Creative will just say that He’s waiting for humanity to “prove itself worthy again” but nobody really knows what that means. Anyway the Garden is b i g. It’s more like a beautiful lush forest rather than a garden, where the trees always give fruit and the animals never attack humans. Everyone lives in peace and harmony, it truly is the bestest place in the universe. The human layer of Heaven is already the best place in the universe but in the Garden humanity will reach a higher state of existence (the details are still fuzzy tho, I need to figure out stuff).

Hell

Hell actually started as an empty place to house human souls who were not worthy of Heaven. It was basically a dark, cold desert, stretching on into infinity. Literally nothing in it but darkness and cold, it was the furthest place away from God’s grace. It began to change only when Lucifer fell. With him, came the rest of the fallen angels and the thing rapidly devolved into a shitshow. Soon the fallens started torturing humans, discovered the power of the human soul, eventually the place became the fiery pit of suffering we know today. Important to keep in mind: Lucifer and his minions are NOT punishing humans. In God’s mind, being far from Heaven is enough punishment for humanity. Demons however, either hate humans (the most perfect of God’s creations), need human souls for power, or straight up do not care about them at all. Most demons either use humans are sustenance or guinea pigs to torture. Slightly more than animals.

Human tier This tier is the closest to what Hell looked like before the demons came. It’s a rocky, endless land, devoid of light, shelter and anything that’s even remotely good. The only difference between this and the “old” Hell is the temperature: now the desolate desert inhabited by humans is scorching hot, warmed by billions of fires lit by demons and fallen angels. There is no repose for humans here, every waking moment is spent trying to escape demons or being tortured by them. Time is also pretty fucky in Hell, especially for humans! A single day on Earth can last a lifetime in Hell. Demons and fallen angels aren’t really affected by this (especially the most powerful ones) but humans can easily lose themselves in this. Humans in Hell could theoretically travel between the different layers, but nobody really wants to because Hell is shit and there’s demons everywhere. The demons that concentrate in the outer layer are the less sapient ones, little more than beasts roaming the lands and slaying human souls whenever they find them.

Demon tier A great sprawling city, absolutely chaotic, growing ever bigger with no rhyme or reason, as its inhabitants try to constantly expand their influence beyond its borders. Demons (and fallens) usually stay here but they’re capable of travelling between the various layers of hell, and they do so quite frequently to bother humans. Not so much to bother Lucifer though, he lives pretty isolated in the middle of Hell. Not that he minds. Anyway, the middle tier is where most of the action happens. Intrigues, backstabbings, alliances, they all happen here. Demons generally don’t like one another, so they’re always trying to kill eachother and gather more power. I guess humans-turned-demons also stay in this city, but I don’t really know if they even exist at this point. I’ll need to think about it.

Lake of ice (Lucifer is here) Innermost layer of Hell. It is said that after being cast out of heaven, Lucifer’s fall was so terribile that he got stuck into the ground, and that’s why he cannot move from the center of Hell. Despite the rest of his kingdom being a fiery inferno, the devil sits there embedded in a completely frozen lake, the ice reaching up to his chest. He cannot move or leave the place, but his Aspects (Satan, the Fallen etc. are kinda like his avatars) can move freely to get shit done for him. IMPORTANT: Satan, Lucifer and Fallen are essentially the same person. They’re kinda like a hive mind, with Lucifer controlling their bodies, but that’s not super important here. As said before, the center of hell is completely frozen over. Not even the fires from the demon city can reach there, in fact, demons actively refuse to come near their boss. Not that he minds, Lucifer doesn’t really feel the need for company, and through his Aspects he can perceive/feel whatever he needs. The city actually seems to move further and further away from him, with the oldest buildings constantly being abandoned in favour of newer ones further out. There’s not really much to say about here! It sucks. The only thing that could be considered “living” is Lucifer’s body, and that’s not really doing much anyway. I will say tho. When Judas went to hell (because he did) he ended up here. I’ll let you ruminate on that one.

The Bridge

There are multiple passages to traverse the Void but The Bridge is by far the safest one. That’s why it’s reserved to human souls! Constantly patrolled by angels, no demon could ever hope to get close to this place. When a human dies, their soul (made by god) gains access to the godly dimension thanks to their guardian angel reporting back to Azrael (archangel of Death) so that they can pass on. This process is almost immediate. Once dead, the souls finds itself at The Bridge. Which is exactly what it is, it’s a bridge baby! Souls need to cross it to get to heaven BUT the Bridge itself is a little finicky. The Bridge is a reflection of the human that will cross it, and it can drastically change in length and form. Eg: A virtuous soul’s bridge will be on the shorter side, look and feel like a normal bridge. A bad person’s bridge can stretch on into infinity, feel more unstable and maybe even be painful to cross. The Bridge can be made of fire, or blades, it can be a single rope dangling over the abyss, very easy to fall from. If a human soul falls from the bridge (it happens! Especially with very evil people, or the ones who think they don’t deserve heaven) they will end up in Hell. Someone might even choose to not cross the bridge at all and jump directly into Hell. So far, only Judas did. His guilt was so big that the Bridge didn’t even manifest. Time is also fucky in here too! A Bridge can be crossed in mere minutes or take years (even centuries!). Now, The Bridge is not the only way to travel through the Void! There are multiple passages on Earth, in Hell and Heaven, but they’re not as safe or guarded as the Bridge, and sometimes they might close or end up nowhere at all. The position of these passages is kept strictly secret, especially the ones that end in Hell, so that angels can use them to spy on demons. Using these passages takes a lot of energy too, so usually only the most powerful angels/demons can travel through the Void without problem. Travelling through the Void outside of the Bridge can be extremely fast or incredibly slow. It depends on how powerful the angel/demon is - Michael can blink through the Void in less than a second, while a less powerful angel could take more time. Very powerful angels/ demons can even create passages themselves! Another way the humans can travel through the Void is by falling off the Bridge, when they end up in hell. This passage is also guarded by angels and ends up at the Bridge anyway, so demons don’t really try to use it.

The Void

Okay the Void it’s pretty difficult to explain. It’s basically a big nothing into which all the dimensions float (kinda) and there’s absolutely nothing in it. While the other dimensions are, the Void is not. Like all the other dimensions, it is infinite, and occupies every space between Earth, Heaven and Hell, however big or small it may be. It’s not like the Abyss (that’s inside Apollyon) where all the residues of previous Creations are crammed inside a writhing to be let out, the Void is still. There’s absolutely nothing here to writhe, it’s a completely inert space. Or rather, there should be nothing. Something is stirring in the depths of nothingness, but nobody (just God Himself and Semjaza) really knows about it. That something is Delirium, although in the AU it doesn’t really have a name.

Delirium This might change in the future because it’s still a bit fuzzy around the edges, but basically Delirium is like a huge blob of unimaginable proportions that lurks inside the Void. It’s not sentient, or at least doesn’t have any real thoughts aside from existing in the Void and consuming to survive. Everything it touches gets destroyed and made into more Delirium, but in the Void there’s really nothing to touch so it just folds onto itself forever, not really doing anything. How did Delirium come to be? This part at least is decided: God’s Power of Creation is so strong that it reverberates through all dimensions, even the Void, bringing life where life shouldn’t exist (this is also why Lazarus keeps coming back: he was brought back to life by God, and His power is so big Lazarus’ soul can never stay dead). Delirium is basically the result of eons and eons of God making and remaking the universe: all that residual energy is still present, kinda like the Big Bang radiations. Important to note: Creation is a cycle! Gods makes the universe and then with the Apocalypse He resets everything and makes a new universe from scratch. The remains of the previous universe are locked in the Abyss (which is different from the Void!) inside Apollyon. Delirium is not any of these remains, it’s a completely new life form that was born out of the energy God uses to make and remake the universe over the millennia.

[vi-writes-things]

Piece of Mind

By Vivian B

———————

Kira furrowed her brow, not entirely sure she understood the customer correctly.

“I’m sorry, what would you like, ma’am?”

“Just a finger”

“Only a finger?”

“Yes…”

Kira stared at the customer; a tallish woman, blonde hair sitting around the shoulders. She looked more or less like an average, if slightly upper class, customer that Piece of Mind would see.

��——

Ever since the Anatomical Exchanging and Modifying Act was passed, anybody could now use technology to enhance themselves legally and without taxation (taxing the use of technology in this way was apparently more of a debate than anything the ‘god made man in his image’ crowd could come up with). funds were made available, scientists and engineers got to work, and pretty soon Bio-Enhancing services were cropping up all over Neo-Terra and all of its satellite colonies and dominions.

The sentiment behind the act was to ensure everybody could have a body they could be proud of, that wouldn’t hurt them physically or psychologically. No longer were the circumstances of birth something to either begrudgingly accept or try to deal with.

It should’ve been a utopia of bodily autonomy.

And then the finance bros jumped in and created franchises.

———

Kira searched through the anatomical databases… they had arms, forearms, shoulders(?), hands, muscles, tendons, veins, arteries, nerves, skin-grafting and even the growth rate of nails.

They had no fingers.

Kira should’ve told the customer that they didn’t provide services for fingers, that they could provide hands at the very least. She didn’t want to draw the ire of the boss, however…

‘IF I HEAR ONE MORE CUSTOMER HAS BEEN TURNED AWAY BECAUSE OF SOME BULLSHIT EXCUSE, YOU’RE ALL FIRED!!!!!’ screamed the angry post-it note on the wall of the break room. The manager, Jones, had left it there after one very drunk customer tried to fight Mathide when they refused to administer breast augmentation to his less than enthused spouse. After several holes punched in the wall, Jones had reluctantly decided not to fire them, just dock a week out of their pay…

Kira couldn’t afford to lose money or get fired. She was so close to finally being able to afford a full-body enhancement. She was this close to freeing herself of the body she was born in and becoming herself…

“I’m afraid we don’t have fingers only in our database…” Kira cautiously explained to the customer. “I’m going to have to consult with my colleague…” she said before nodding her head apologetically. The customer seemed to understand, or at least not scoff at the fact Piece of Mind thought about nerve endings and veins, but not fingers.

———

“Just a finger?” Mathide asked, their furry brow raised.

“That’s what she wants…” Kira sighed, massaging her temples. If she had known this problem would come up today, she wouldn’t have sampled the margarita mix gifted to her last night.

“Who the hell wants just a finger changed?” Mathide scoffed, reaching a paw for their coffee. It tasted godawful, but instant usually does. “Not even, like, the hand… just a finger?”

“She said there’s a wart she doesn’t like…” Kira responded. “Apparently getting it frozen off never crossed her mind. I can’t just refuse her, Jones will skin us alive when he gets back from Titan…”

Mathide took a sip of the coffee, their fur standing on end. Too hot…

“But it’s a finger! What does a finger even cost?!”

“Well we know a hand costs 500 credits…” Kira said, trying to do the math in her head. “We just divide that by 6 I suppose…”

“Shouldn’t the size of the finger come into play? You know how much Jones haggles people…” Mathide said.

“Since when did you care what Jones would do?” Kira chuckled darkly, dodging the empty cup thrown at her expertly.

“So we divide 500 by 6, and charge her that?”

“Sounds like the best way to go forward.”

Mathide looked at their phone and crunched the numbers. “That’s 83.33 credits…” they said with a frown.

“Great, so that’s the price we charge.” Kira said, bending down to look at the calculator. A primitive part of her reckoned standing next to Mathide would make the numbers make sense.

“But the cheapest thing we offer is altering the growth rate of nails…” Mathide explained. “That’s 90 credits. Jones wanted to charge even more but a creditcent more and that would be illegal extortion.”

“Well we don’t have much of a choice. That fucker didn’t even think about what a finger would cost…” Kira sighed. This was the last thing she needed. “Either way, Jones will kill us…”

Mathide looked up at Kira standing over them. They could sense she was stressed. Their tail involuntarily curled around her ankle gently. It was the least they could do as a friend.

Kira smiled in return. She gave Mathide a ruffle of their ears before turning to face the door.

“Need a hand?” Mathide asked, standing up. Despite being a cat hybrid, Mathide had an excellent way with customers.

“Thanks” Kira said as the two of them emerged from the break room.

———

The procedure went surprisingly smoothly for such a hassle. The atomic replacer machine was calibrated to a hand, but the customer was asked to place only the finger into the slot. The machine could recognise what body parts were placed inside so there was no risk of the finger being replaced by a small second hand.

As Kira oversaw the procedure, she felt a pang inside her. A kind of heavy feeling that clung to her heart. People like this lady could come in for something as trivial as a finger and pay as if it was pocket change. Bodies were as valuable as toilet roll to them.

Not to Kira, though. She spent 26 years being stuck in a body she never asked for. She wasn’t skilled enough to build a machine for herself that wouldn’t blow her up or turn her into soup.

Mathide got lucky. They had a friend who was an expert biohacker. They were able to hook Mathide up with their dream body. Unfortunately, that friend left for Androma a long time ago, and Kira still had nerves about going to the unregulated biohackers, despite Mathide’s reassurances.

For now, all she could do was bide her time, watch more rich assholes get custom made fingers…

[zeroducks-2]

I’m on tiktok and everyone is blowing up over the leaks for Tom Taylor’s last issue of Nightwing bc everyone is 90% sure that Bruce is playing Nightwing while Dick’s off in the wild trying to find himself again and his love of heights (don’t talk to me about this I FUCKING HATE these plot lines and Taylor’s whole run of Nightwing).

And everyone in the comments are roasting the hell out of Bruce bc he’s a) not an acrobat and can’t do what Dick does as Nightwing in that department. b) this defeats Nightwing’s purpose and reason to begin with as Nightwing as a hero and concept is supposed to be better than Batman and Bruce, so Bruce taking over as Nightwing for Dick makes NO SENSE. And c) everyone’s saying that Bruce is gonna pop a hip out and he’s too old to be flipping around Blud 😭

It’s funny. But also someone mentioned how Tom Taylor should have written a Batman comic and not a Nightwing comic bc he keeps on stripping Dick back as a character and using old Batman plot lines for Dick…and Dick is missing so much nuance and soul. I honestly believe that Taylor’s Nightwing run is a blood sacrifice for Tom’s obsession and love of Batman.

Tom Taylor is not a good writer. He maybe wrote a good passage here and there, but when it comes to character arcs and unfolding storylines he is unable to do anything decent whatsoever.

Like sure maybe the plotlines will be coherent (even if the bar is low compared to people like Zdarsky) but it will be absolutely fucking stupid and very, very boring. Bruce being Nightwing undermines both Bruce and Dick and the meaning behind the Nightwing mantle, it's true, but I don't think Mr Taylor cares. To name one, he openly said that the whole thing with the spores changing people into furries was cooked up and done to appeal to the fandom, not because it made any sense or it was thought to go anywhere in regards of overarching plot or character development. Just because so people would go UwU catboy Damian!

I don't know if the Nightwing run is a blood sacrifice for his obsession for Batman but I really don't care much if I'm being honest. This man can't write a decent story to save his life. I do not believe he would do even marginally better with any other character (but sure as hell I'd love if he stopped mauling Dick and dissacrating his corpse).

[quinloki]

I hate to see that ur Friday eve is going blergh and I’m over here buying cute shit for my cats birthday tmmrw🥲(it’s like he knows) I don’t know how to distract u or entertain u, but I sure as hell know that reading takes off my stress from work and school. 😔

well, enough about me….I read earlier from your asks about how u wouldn’t mind writing about Lucci or Kaku (Lucci and Kaku x s/o if your willing). So off the bat, at the tippity top of your flamborgeous, gorgeous head, how damn kinky are these men??????? Ignore my ask if it’s too much to ask for your kindness, just know I am thankful of how talented you are to keep me off the cashier and reading blorbos. 💕

\lol/ Awwww Thank you - also happy birthday to your furry gremlin. Please pat them affectionately on my behalf.

Oh Kaku and Lucci are KINKY. I'd almost say they're the CP9/0 version of Kid and Killer.

Almost.

I don't think Lucci is nearly as open or adventurous as the others, but Kaku is. That boy-next-door Golly-gosh-willickers mask he's perfected is hiding layers of whips and chains.

I don't necessarily think Kaku/Lucci's relationship would be strictly "Healthy" either. I mean, I don't think either would say that they're in a bad relationship or that there's any abuse, but I also don't think these two are working with safe words, and I'm sure sometimes fights for dominance can turn into actual fights.

Which Kaku wins a surprising number of. (I don't think you'll get Lucci to admit he enjoys being a bottom OR a sub, but I think he does, and that's why the fights go in Kaku's favor more than you'd expect).

In a three-way relationship, the s/o / reader would be the sub 100% of the time. Lucci and Kaku would team up to nearly ensure it.

I can see them being a lot kinder to a non-CP style S/O and probably just as competitive with a CP-styled S/O. At the end of the day though, i think there would be a legit caring/loving vibe. Even if no one else understood it or could see it.

But as a kind of wrap up - I imagine it would be some of kinkiest sex around. Even if the most of the kinks revolve around power dynamic struggles and competition XD

[hedgiwithapen]

Young Justice. “You’re right: I’m a liar. But you can believe me, just this one time.”

Something soft and furry presses against her ankle. Zatanna doesn't look, just steps away from whatever cat or dog has sensed her anxious sorrow. She doesn't particularly want to be comforted right now.  In the aftermath, she always does. Artemis is good about holding her up through her grief. in the days that follow, she wants to be empty, a bit. Focus on her magic, focus on her work. It's just easier that way.

"I know how to stop that old tightwad," a voice says in Zatanna's ear. She jumps.

Teekl purrs, moving from her ankle to Klarion the witchboy's, and anger builds inside her. It's his fault. He killed Kent Nelson. His spell shattered the worlds. He stole her father from her. The League, the Team, they have a thing about killing.

Magic has a thing about threes.

"Give me one good reason not to kill you."

"Well, you can't, so there's that," he says. "But also I can help you with your Nabu problem."

"Right," she spits. "Help. Because you're so benevolent and trustworthy."

"You’re right: I’m a liar." Klarion said with a shrug. "But you can believe me, just this one time.”

"And why's that?"

"Because I'm a being of chaos not evil. I mean, evil most of the time, sure, but that's because it's fun, not because it's what I am."

"Speak plainly, Chaos creep."

"The Bad guys are all board meetings these days.” Klarion says, his eyes suddenly far too big and sad to exist in the real world. “ Literally. It's hell. I don't have anything anyone else would want, so you're my best bet for, you know, shaking things up. Like, all those secrets you heroes have been keeping? Hiding stuff and manipulating each other each until someone does something drastic and like nine layers of lies get unraveled like an onion? That’s gold. Probably the only reason I’m not dead. So maybe, I dunno, I owe you or something. So how’s about it,  I get your dad back from Nabu, without killing him I guessssss--" he peeks at her. Though she's tempted, she nods firmly. " Without killing him, and in return you get the heroes to do something really splashy. Get things going. Street fight? Been a while since there was one of those. Up to you. I'll throw in a bonus if it's against Luthor, that guy really takes the fun out of villainy. Three piece suits when he could have a mech! There's no drama and it is killing me. So, you in?"

Zatanna's spent years wondering what she'd do for her father back for more than an hour once a year. Starting a street fight against the likes of Lex Luthor is a far cry from selling her soul. 

"Tell me how you plan on saving my father. As long as no one dies... I'm in."

[veryace-ficrecs]

Animal Transformation fic recs

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)

One Piece

Cat’s Cradle by Hazel_Athena - Rated T

In which a run in with a new Devil Fruit user leaves Sanji with an unexpectedly furry problem.

stay by itsmylifekay - Not Rated

Sanji doesn't know what he's done in a past life to deserve this, but somehow when Zoro gets turned into a cat he's the one stuck on babysitting duty. How someone that small can cause so much trouble, he'll never understand. But even after all the hell he's put through, he still manages to fall in love.

raise ev'ry fallen star by greenyogurtelephant - Rated T

“I’m supposed to be finding this guy, Prince Sanji of Germa,” Zoro explained, figuring he might as well be honest with the rabbit about his initial impressions of the missing royal. “Typical, right?” he grinned. “More like the Prince of Dumbass Kingdom, wandering off and getting lost. Moron’s probably so coddled he couldn’t even fight his way out from under wet bread.” The rabbit glared up at him from behind the heavy fringe of tawny hair, its nose scrunching indignantly. Zoro ran a finger over the handsome face depicted on the curling paper. "But something about it doesn’t seem quite right,” he admitted softly, voicing his doubts aloud for the first time. “While the honorable thing for me to do is complete the quest… I’d like to hear his reasons for leaving when I find him. Sometimes lost things should stay lost.”

X-Men

Humane Society by smilebackwards - Rated M

Once Erik finally allows himself to decide that Charles is pretty much the best thing since sliced bread, he spends the next week being incredibly bitter that he's Charles' cat and not his boyfriend.

serious koala business by chiasmus, stlkrchck - Rated G

Erik has no particular fondness for animals, so he isn't entirely sure what to think when Charles is turned into a stuffed bear. I’m alive, not stuffed, Charles points out, and a koala, for your information, which isn’t technically a bear.

Guided by bad_peppermint - Rated G

Charles - telepath, youngest tenured Columbia professor of all time, blind - is very happy with his life. Or he was, until someone turned his guide dog into a man.

My Hero Acadamia

as small as an elephant by feelingstabby - Rated T

Izuku’s lip is trembling, and he hates it. Sensei just doesn’t understand. He doesn’t see what Izuku does every time he closes his eyes. “If you are incapable of following basic orders,” Aizawa says, sounding like the storm outside, “you can give up your dream of being a reliable hero.” The harsh words are another nail in the coffin, and when thunder breaks around them, Izuku thinks he does too. Or, the one where Izuku and his sensei are turned into cats and have to learn to trust each other while struggling to find their way back home.

When I Said Being a Cat Would Be Nice, This Isn't What I Meant by lostintheclouds321 - Rated G

During an unexpected villain attack, Shouta finds himself in an unfamiliar area suddenly turned into a cat of all things. Before he can even begin to enjoy this transformation or try to find his friend, he's cornered by a group of middle schoolers and has to be rescued by none other than Midoriya Izuku.

Regrets™: Yagi Toshinori Rendition by Hayato (TheLennyBunny) - Rated T

Toshinori meant to catch the villain, not be caught by his Quirk. He guessed this was his life now. At least he had feet.

The Witcher

this animal i have become by splendidlyimperfect - Rated T

“Look,” Jaskier says, holding his hands up in surrender as he slowly approaches the wolf. “I’m really just trying to help you. It’s the least I can do for you saving those people, but honestly, I can’t do much if you bite my hands off.” The wolf, which stands nearly half Jaskier’s height and is bleeding heavily where the crossbow bolt is sticking out of its leg, bares its teeth and snarls.   “Oh, knock it off,” Jaskier grumbles irritably. “I’ve been growled at plenty; you don’t scare me.”  Six months after Jaskier leaves Geralt on the mountain, he finds another white wolf.

rare species by winterbucky (WinterLadyy) - Rated T

Almost 2 years after the moutain, Geralt is coping. He's fine. He's making great decisions like taking a contract on an ice troll at the start of winter, in the mountains. The hunt goes wrong and he finds himself dying in a ravine, covered in snow, cold and alone. And then, like an angel descenting from heaven, is the cat. A rare species of cat, a snow leopard that seems determined to keep Geralt alive, even against his own wishes. Geralt can do nothing but let him, and maybe talk - he was always better at talking to animals and he has many regrets to comb through. or i do uno reverse on the wolf geralt trope and make jaskier a big kitty after the moutain and geralt, ofc, doesn't realize. thats it

Supernatural

The Literal Bear Hug by almaasi - Rated G

Suddenly, Cas was a bear. This was not supposed to happen.

on little cat feet by museaway - Rated T

Dean fears Cas has been killed on a hunt when he discovers a small cat sniffing around the remains of his trench coat.

Star Wars

The Wisdom of Cats by inkpenpaper - Rated T

Cody felt it was a sad reflection of the amount of poodoo the 212th had dealt with over the course of the war that his first reaction to his General turning into a cat wasn’t panic, but resignation that he owed Rex another 50 credits.

Paws and Reassess by blackkat - Rated T

While on a training mission, Wolffe picks up a sorry, scrappy stray cat and smuggles it back to Kamino with him. (Jon Antilles has the worst luck of any Jedi, and that's saying something. But maybe this particular bout of terrible luck has a clone-shaped silver lining. And potentially a lot of Sith-shaped complications. Opposable thumbs would probably make this whole thing a hell of a lot easier to deal with.)

[xtrashmammalstefx]

Come Into These Arms (A Vampire! Chris Motionless Smut!)

REQUESTED BY: @ashleymata2008

WARNINGS: SMUT!, Language, all that good stuff.

Notes: Originally requested as a pregnant reader with baby shower but I decided to put my own spin on it (hope u don't mind girly). Anyway enjoy!

I first saw him as I lay dying beneath my friend’s dad’s Chevy.

Some dick had a few too many and rammed us off the road just as we had reached the intersection outside a Taco Bell. My memories of it are hazy but I clearly remember seeing him approach the wreckage. He walked around checking my friend and then her dad before coming over to me. He took my face in his and smiled in relief. “You still have a chance.”

“Chris, don’t,” said another voice from above us. “You know what’ll mean for her… what’ll mean for you.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“There’s no going back from that, once it’s done it’s done,” the other continued to warn him.

“I know Ricky, fuck!” he snapped at him. He took a deep breath then and leaned in. “You still have a chance...I’m gonna make sure you keep it.” He leaned in further until I felt a sharp pain in my neck.

I don’t remember what happened after that. Only that I woke up in the hospital covered in bandages, and high off my tits on pain meds. My parents were there and my mom held my hand as they told me I was the only one who survived the accident.

I went home a few days later, and it was on my first night back that I saw him again. I was listening to one of my favorite songs once again trying to decide whether or not what happened that night was real. I suddenly felt my bed dip and I thought it might have been Edgar Allan Puss, my asshole of a cat. I shot my hand out to smack him off my bed before he clawed the shit out of my comforter, but instead of hitting my cat’s furry side, I hit a cold denim covered leg. My eyes shot open and I looked over to find him lying beside me. I paused my music and ripped out my headphones, shooting myself up so that I was sitting.

“Who the hell are you?” I asked. “And...and how the fuck are you real?”

“First off that’s a hell of a tongue you got for being so young,” he said. “Secondly, my names Chris, and despite what all the myths say about my kind I can guarantee we are very much real. Have been for more than a millennia.”

“A millennia?”

“That’s right.”

I sighed and buried my face in my hands. “I really fucked up my head that night didn’t I?”

“Not really,” he said. “And again with that tongue, what are you nine?”

“I’m twelve dipshit,” I said.

“Well, ex-fucking-scuse my ass,” he said. “I swear you save a girls life and she turns around and all she does is give you shit.”

“You, you really saved me?”

He nodded. “And my brothers are still giving me shit for it.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “They’ve always been a bunch of hardasses like that.”

“No, I mean, why’d you save me?”

“You still had a chance,” he said. “One the others didn’t, and one that I never had.”

“Are you my angel or something?”

“Or something,” he said. “My kind aren’t exactly welcomed at the pearly gates if you know what I mean.”

“I don’t exactly but lord knows I would be six feet under right now if it wasn’t for you.” I placed my hand on his. “So, thank you.”

“It was my pleasure, um…”

“Y/N,” I said. “But most people call me, Y/N/N.”

“It was my pleasure, Y/N/N.” He looked over at my alarm and frowned. “I should let you sleep.” He started moving off of my bed.

“Is this...I mean, I know I shouldn’t but...and you probably don’t want to, but…” He placed two fingers on my lips silencing me.

“You’ll see me again, I promise,” he said leaning in. His cold lips touched my cheek for only a moment. “Goodnight darling.”

“Night,” I said watching as he disappeared out my window.

I would say that was the most magical dream of my life except it quickly became obvious that my mind could never dream up of someone as mystical as he.

He came back every now and then and we’d end up spending a good part of the night just talking. A couple of years passed and Chris and I had grown closer than any pair ever had, or so my fourteen year old brain believed. That year all of my classmates were suddenly ‘falling in love’ for the first time. A guy in my history class even showed interest in me but… I don’t know. For some reason I couldn’t see him or any guy that way.

“What’s wrong ma cherie?” Chris asked one night when it was clear there was something on my mind. Something that bothered me something fierce.

“I think there’s something wrong with me,” I said.

Chris looked at me surprised. “What makes you say that?”

I shrugged. “There’s this guy at school, says he likes me, and wants to take me out sometime.”

“And that means there’s something wrong with you?”

“No,” I shook my head. “It’s not that it’s just… I don’t see him that way. I don’t… I don’t feel what I should feel… what everyone else feels. At least not for…” I looked up at Chris who looked at me expectantly. I shook my head again. “Never mind, you probably don’t wanna hear about boring teenage bullshit.”

“Love is anything but bullshit, no matter what age,” he said. “So, you don’t like him, not exactly that big of a deal sugar.”

“I know that,” I said. “But I do feel something for someone else. Something I’ve never felt before.”

“Must be a lucky guy if he can get you to smile and blush like that,” Chris said.

“Yeah,” I looked over at him again. “He is…” Before I knew what the hell I was doing I was leaning in and crashing my lips onto his. Suddenly I felt this electric feeling flow through my body.

Thy blood is yours

As your heart is thine

Bride immortal now is the hour

From this day forth you shall be…

“NO!” Chris pushed me back.

“What… what was that?” I asked.

“Something that cannot happen yet,” he said before looking up at me. “I’m- I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” I said. “I was the one who…”

“No, no,” he said. “This… this is all my doing. My brothers warned me but…”

“But?”

He looked up at me and placed his hand on my cheek. “But you had a chance.”

“Wait, “ I said brushing his hand off my face. “Are you saying you, what, did something else besides save me that night?”

He looked down and away from me. “There’s this spell that exists in our world. One that should never be used unless we’re absolutely certain and if the other party is certain as well.” He looked up at me then. “I fed from you that night, and in return you fed from me. By exchanging blood we became connected in a way a mortal would if he were to exchange vows with the person he loves.”

“So you’re saying… you fucking married me?”

“Not fully, jesus you were only twelve!”

“But we’re fucking married?”

“We are betrothed,” he said. “We won’t fully be wed until that incantation you heard is complete.”

“But, but why? I mean I know I had a chance to live but…”

“When the first half of the ritual is complete, you know the feeding, the mortal party will automatically be filled with their mate’s immortal strength. You’re still mortal but I made it so that any wound you suffer will heal faster and your strength will be renewed.”

“And your brothers warned you?” I knew of his family and how they were irate at him because of me. I never understood why though.

He nodded. “They said I was basically screwing you out of a normal life. Because not only do you have my strength but you are so tied to me that you can’t fall in love or form any connection of the sort with mortals, and I can’t bind myself to anyone else.” He looked back up at me. “You are mine and I am yours, forever.”

I leaned in for another kiss but he stopped me by placing his hand on my shoulder. “We can’t do that again… at least not until you’re sure you want to.”

I sighed and settled for kissing him on the cheek.

“I don’t care what you say, Chris, you’re my angel and you’ll always will be.” I fell asleep soon after.

Years passed and eventually I was being bombarded by questions about my future. Which college will I go to? What career do I want? It was maddening...and Chris could tell is was really wearing me out.

“Tough day?” he asked as we layed on my bed.

“You have no fucking idea,” I said.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I’m eighteen years old, I’m about to graduate, and everyone thinks that means I know what I’m gonna do for the rest of my goddamn life.”

“Ah, the college talks.”

“Exactly,” I said. “Were you grilled about that too? When you were mortal I mean?”

“That and how I should take my old man’s boss’s daughter as a wife,” he said. “Believe me when I say I do not regret choosing another path.”

“Oh? And what path was that?”

“The one that led me to jumping off a bridge only to be fished out by Gerard,” he said. He’d told me about the royal family of immortals living in the underground of New Jersey where no one would ever find them, and how their leader, an ancient vampire named Gerard Way, found him and turned him.

“It’s not that I don’t know what I want to do,” I said. “It’s just I don’t know how I could ever explain that what I want is to spend my life with you… the angel who saved me.”

“Y/N/N,” he whispered. I rolled over and propped myself up on my elbow.

“I love you,” I whispered pecking him on the lips. He groaned at my touch. “I really fucking love you.” I brought my lips back down onto his and that same feeling that overcame me years earlier came back.

Thy blood is yours

As your heart is thine

Bride immortal now is the hour

From this day forth you shall be mine.

He pulled back and moved so fast he was invisible for only a moment. Our clothes had disappeared and he was on top of me. “You’re mine now Y/N/N.” He whispered before pushing himself inside me. I gasped and clung to him as he stretched me.

Immortal lover long since dead

Come into these arms

And we shall be forever wed.

There was a burning on our fingers where a ring of Latin words were wrapped around them like… wedding bands. Chris smiled and proceeded to thrust.

I know people say that your first time is like nothing else in the world. That your vision becomes clouded with stars, especially when you both finish. That the entire time you feel whole as he fills you up with his length and your heart beats so fast you think you might just die.

Clearly they’ve never had sex with a vampire. Chris was gentle but a little rough at the same time. Like he knew I was breakable but still able to handle the full power of his cock. (Thank fuck my parents weren’t home to hear the screams).

Eventually he wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up so that I was sitting on top of him. I rocked my hips riding him as if my life depended on it. “Fuck, Chris… I’m gonna…!” I cut myself by screaming as I tightened around him.

“Fuck, baby,” Chris grunted continuing to thrust into me as I came down from my high. I rode out my high, resting my head on his shoulder as he tensed up inside him. “FUCK!” He groaned filling me up.

The next morning I swear I could not walk to save my life.

A month later Chris came back. We’d been like rabbits since that night and in doing so enacted another part of the marriage ritual.

As soon as he arrived I ran into his arms. “Nice to see you too, my love.” He chuckled. That’s when he felt what I’d been feeling for a while now. A small little kick from deep inside my stomach. “The fuck was that?”

“What do you think it was?” I said stepping back to reveal the small bump pertruding from between my hips. “My parents want me to give it up but…” I shook my head. “It’s growing so fast, and… and I know chances are we’d never have the opportunity to do this again. I mean, I understand if…”

“Y/N/N?” Mom called out from the otherside of the door. Before I could fully panic Chris picked me up and sped out my window. He ran us all the way to his families hide out. His brothers weren’t too thrilled at the revelation about our baby but for Chris’s sake would do what they could to comfort us. Chris held me as I slept throughout the night. The next morning I was aroused by two things, Chris’s kisses and the smell of pancakes.

We dragged our feet downstairs where…

“SURPRISED!” His brothers shouted having been busy during my slumber. There was black and white banner hung up on the archway between the living room and the kitchen that read: ‘CONGRATS MAMA!’ On the coffee table was a mountain of gifts.

“Did they really just put a baby shower together?” I asked Chris.

“You bet your ass we did,” Ricky said. “It’s not everyday we become uncles to a bad ass half breed.”

Feeling emotional to the extreme I ran up to Ricky and hugged the fuck out of him. “You guys are fucking amazing you know that?”

Ricky smiled and kissed my forehead. “We love you too sis. Even if my fucking moron of a brother dragged you into our lives without fucking telling us.”

“Give it a rest already Ricky,” Chris said. “I told you I would try to tell you guys before I make any more drastic decisions. Alright? Now please, kindly, fuck off.”

“Ah, not before I try those pancakes I smell,” I interjected dragging Chris to the kitchen.

“Prepare to be mouth fucked,” Ricky said smiling from ear to ear.

“Dude?!”

“With pancakes you sick fuck, not my dick,” Ricky clarified.

As I ate the heavenly pancakes I couldn’t help but think of how glad I was to have been given such an amazing second chance at life, and how I hope, one day, my child will enjoy their chance too. Who knows, maybe they too will give someone a second chance to live.

[manipulatorkaleidoscope]

Omega strikers incorrect quotes (part 3!!)

(yes I’m going to make a new one each time a new strikers shows)

💌🎀☁️🌈✨🌛⭐️🌜✨🌈☁️🎀💌

Finii: Watcha doin? Vyce: Stealing my neighbour’s cat. Finii: Scandalous. Finii: Can I help?

💌🎀☁️🌈✨🌛⭐️🌜✨🌈☁️🎀💌

Luna: Don’t stay up all night, Atlas! Last time you got sleep derived you tried to eat your own shirt!

💌🎀☁️🌈✨🌛⭐️🌜✨🌈☁️🎀💌

Juno: You have to apologize to Asher! Luna: Fine! Luna: Unfuck you, or whatever!

💌🎀☁️🌈✨🌛⭐️🌜✨🌈☁️🎀💌

Estelle: So, are you two dating now? Kai & Era: Yes. Estelle: Why? Kai: I happen to find Era very appealing. Estelle: Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Era.

💌🎀☁️🌈✨🌛⭐️🌜✨🌈☁️🎀💌

Era: Today at 7 am, X poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Kai: I watched X brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he’s ascended into the astral realm. Rasmus: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me. 💌🎀☁️🌈✨🌛⭐️🌜✨🌈☁️🎀💌

Era: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Kai a little bit. AiMi, holding Era's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation. Era: No, that's our joint tombstone. AiMi: My mistake. 💌🎀☁️🌈✨🌛⭐️🌜✨🌈☁️🎀💌

Zentaro, watching power lines fall down: AiMi, Finii! The town is exploding and it's very pretty!

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Vyce : Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies? Octavia: Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials. Asher: It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby. Atlas: Rock also defeats baby.

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Kai, about Rasmus: I could fix him, but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with him is way funnier. Rune: That's what any god probably thinks about me.

💌🎀☁️🌈✨🌛⭐️🌜✨🌈☁️🎀💌

Drek’ar : :) Rune: >:( Drek’ar : Turn that frown upside down! Rune: ):< Drek’ar : Not sure what I was expecting…

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Store Worker: Would a “Estelle” please come to the front desk? Estelle, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker, pointing to Juliette and Dubu: I believe they belong to you? Juliette and Dubu, simultaneously: We got lost. Estelle: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—

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Finii: My heart is guarded but like… very poorly. The kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R rated movie.

💌🎀☁️🌈✨🌛⭐️🌜✨🌈☁️🎀💌

Rune: And now for a gay update with Estelle and Asher . Estelle: Getting gayer. Rune: Thank you, Estelle.

💌🎀☁️🌈✨🌛⭐️🌜✨🌈☁️🎀💌

Rasmus: Hey Estelle. Estelle: *punches Rasmus in the stomach* Rasmus: What the fuck? Estelle: You are one of my very best friends. And I cannot stand by and watch you throw away your life like this. You're too young... YOU'RE TOO BEAUTIFUL! Rasmus: What the fuck are you talking about? Kai: hey guy- Estelle: I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside of your belly right now. Kai: See ya! *leaves * Rasmus: I'm not pregnant! Estelle: Well, not after that punch you're not. I've been taking muay thai classes. Rasmus: I was never pregnant, Estelle! Estelle: Are... you sure? Rasmus: Yes I'm fucking sure! Rasmus’s mom: I'm sorry, but why the fuck is everybody yelling over here? Estelle: Oh, I found this positive pregnancy test and - Rasmus’s mom: *punches Rasmus in the stomach* Rasmus: AW, MOTHERFU-

💌🎀☁️🌈✨🌛⭐️🌜✨🌈☁️🎀💌

Juliette: Can I have a private talk with you? Asher: Okay, as long as it’s not about tampons because I just don’t understand them.

💌🎀☁️🌈✨🌛⭐️🌜✨🌈☁️🎀💌

Asher: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this. X: I literally said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question.

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Zentaro: Whoa, Luna, what’s up with that angry face? Luna: Finii won’t stop talking about how “Ancient Egyptians were furries”. Finii : But they were! Just looks at all their gods- Luna: Oh my god, SHUT UP!

💌🎀☁️🌈✨🌛⭐️🌜✨🌈☁️🎀💌

Finii : Tell Octavia off, Juno! Assert yourself! Juno: That's my ice cream! Finii : Good! Now let her have it!! Juno, handing Octavia the ice cream: Here, you can have it!

💌🎀☁️🌈✨🌛⭐️🌜✨🌈☁️🎀💌

Everyone is playing a board game together AiMi: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'. Zentaro : I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'. Luna: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'. Atlas: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'. Luna: *flips the board*

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Vyce : Dumbest scar stories, go! Dubu: Dubu! (I burned my tongue once drinking tea.) Juliette: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned. Luna: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Asher: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn. Zentaro: I have emotional scars.

[sleepyscxry]

Yandere Alastor x male reader

major trigger warning. This is my first post so it might be a bit crusty and dusty

your POV

I had fallen down to hell about a month ago. Already an overlord. I’ve killed a bunch of r@pists and disgusting souls. But I did find one place that was for redemption. I did not understand how someone gets an idea like that but I’m on my way to it to become an employee! God fucking damnit how did I get into this mess.. I got to the front door and knocked three heavy times. After a second a girl that looks sixteen or so. She looked at me as if I was half skinned. She slammed the door and I heard chattering. She opened the door. “Uhm.. hi” “hello there I saw a poster about this place and I thought I could lend a helping hand by gaurding this hotel of vermin.” “What do you mean by vermin?” “Ahahaaa r@pists, child @busers. And more!” “That does.. kinda make sense.. but you’re an overlord.. why do you care?” “Oh because I went through oh so much when I was alive, I am now Dead Set on killing every one who truly deserves it!”

Time skip

I had gotten used to the hotel a bit after an hour or two. But I saw a new face walking down the stairs. “Oh Charlie who might this be?” The man said. “Oh this is our new employee y/n!” “Pleasure to meet you darling! I am Alastor.” “Oh yeah I’ve heard quite a lot about you. Nice to finally meet someone close to my power range.” “Pardon?” “HOW DOES AN OVERLORD NOT KNOW AN OVERLORD?!” “No need to yell vaggie, Alastor I’m sorry to tell you but y/n is beginning to be the most powerful overlord there is.. even my dad is best friends with him..” “ohh your lucifers kid. He told me he had a daughter!” She smiled and looked at Alastor. “It’s my pleasure to meet you y/n but I must take care of some business.” “K have fun!” He turned around and grinned at me. “May I ask.. when did you die?” “Oh last month maybe month before that. No definitely last month on the 25th. Aka Christmas!” “Oh that’s so sad.. I’m so sorry to hear that.” “Meh I got the gift of death that’s plenty.”

time skip

I was at the bar and I ordered rum and coke. A very comforting drink. “So how did you get to become an overlord so fast?” “I was powerful when I was alive and I’m even more powerful in the afterlife. It just makes sense if you’ve known me for awhile.” “Thats cool.” “How did you get the form of a furry?” “Furry?” “Yeah it’s where your body represents a animal hybrid.” “Oh.. idk” “ah”

another time skip (I’m so sorry)

I went up to my new bedroom and it was pretty plan so with just a snap of my fingers it was as home like as can be. I laid down and tried to fall asleep. Keyword tried but I heard loud footsteps outside. I got my slippers on and looked outside my door. It was Alastor. “Alastor? What are you doing up?” “Oh y/n! I’m just doing a nightly stroll around the hotel. Would you like to join me?” “Uhm.. sure!” I walked out of my room and got beside him. “So.. do you do this every night?” “Yes I do! It’s good for tiring me for a good sleep!” “Yeah that makes sense.” We walked down the steps to the main room. He snapped his fingers and a fire started. “Let’s talk. Overlord to overlord haha.” “Ok” “so how did you die?” “Uhm.. some of my long lasting enemies tried drowning me and I hung myself on the tree closest to the lake.” “Oh wow..” “how did you? It’s only fair you tell me.” “I was mistaken for a deer and god shot in the head and a group of dogs finished me off.” “Oh that’s deep.. I wanted to die.. you didn’t.” “Oh I’m over it now. It’s quite fun here!” “Yeah.. I like seeing people suffer in their own sins..” “me as well.” I yawned. “I think I’m gonna head to bed. Goodnight Al.” “Goodnight darling.”

end of part 1