#Like ONE episode or background thing to show a positive relationship not in the form of her forgiving him would do lots

[celtrist]

SLIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD BUT NOTHING TOO OBVIOUS (I would've waited a week but this one is pretty vague spoiler wise so...): I feel like most people might think she was being unfairly harsh in part due to her being a teenager and not understanding things. But I also think that's partially not giving her enough credit. I personally think she's very right in her actions, if not a bit melodramatic. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: It is very clear Stolas LOVES Octavia, but his loving and caring about her does not make him a good father. As viewers, we haven't been given any reason that Octavia should forgive Stolas. She seems kind of absent in his life and we've seen him prioritize things like Blitz over her (they make it a point several times in the show with the Asmodeus song and Lulu Land). They've kind of kept alluding to how Stolas does, in action, love Blitz more and doesn't pay enough attention to Octavia. And the show doesn't put a lot of effort into showing him trying to be better in this. He SAYS he is, but actions speak louder than words (and in a show, it's 9/10 times better to show it, not tell it). There hasn't been a moment in the show that shows Stolas putting in effort to mend his relationship with Octavia when we know it's important to him. And granted, yes, they have only so much time and episodes. But by the same token, there are episodes they could've not done (cherubs and Fizzaroli episodes) that could've put focus on Octavia and Stolas' relationship. Stolas' and Octavia's relationship feels more important than the day in the life of Fizz (and I like Fizz and his forgiving Blitz adds to that story, but we didn't need to see his life with Mammon).

If they want to keep hammering in the issues between Octavia and Stolas, then they also need to show the two mending (or bonding) on screen for it to feel fair for Octavia to forgive and trust him. We can't just say "off-screen stuff" as a resolution when this relationship is consistently shown to be rough and needs work. It's like if a show kept showing a couple being terrible for each other, but they keep mentioning stuff they did off-screen that tells us the relationship is good. That's not good writing! And while I have plenty of critiques for Helluva's and Hazbin's writing, I don't feel like they'd try to pull the "they solved it off-screen" thing. I don't think they'd be SLOW about it, but I think they'd at least show us on-screen stuff with it.

While I do think Stolas was in a difficult situation, you can't deny he's not a very good father (he wasn't even aware of her interests until the Lulu Land episode). Like, he can love her all he wants, but if he's not there for her, he's not there. And we haven't been given many reasons for him NOT to be there for her. You can't really name a lot of things Stolas has done in recent times for her that we've been allowed to see. The only part of their relationship we've seen is that they do care for each other but it needs work. I think it's obvious she's gonna forgive Stolas, just in part because he does genuinely want to do better by her and they DID have a good relationship when she was younger. And I think that's a good route to go with it (especially if they make a parallel of Octavia forgiving and trusting Stolas while Barbie chooses to keep hating Blitz).

I feel like people can be a bit lenient on Stolas because he's depressed and was in a loveless forced marriage with a woman while being gay, but I don't think that's fair for a character like Octavia then to have her feelings brushed off. Like there's certainly wiggle room to be sure, but it shouldn't mean we should ignore his actions and forgive him for everything he does. Stolas did do wrong and it makes me happy to see that there are consequences to his actions (good or bad). We've seen him keep flirting with Blitz over spending time with his daughter. These are things we DO see on screen. I do think Octavia was harsh, it's not like I don't (like with her reaction to the pills), but we as viewers haven't been given much reason for Octavia to forgive Stolas so easily. We haven't seen them have a good relationship really. Hell, we haven't even been shown them having a BAD relationship really. But the times we do get, it often shows the rough, bad side of it. Yes, she's 17 so her emotions are a bit wild and everything, and while I don't think she fully understands all the complexities, I also don't think she's a baby. Like... she's not an idiot. Teenagers have the capability to understand some of these things, she's not 5. Octavia wasn't JUST upset about the pills, she's upset because the man who said would always be there for her kept leaving for the imp he had an affair with. She's upset because he keeps being dishonest with her. Stolas has done far more for Blitz than we have seen him do for Octavia. I think the pills and that he's never told her about them was just the final straw of everything.

I don't think it's fair to say "Octavia doesn't know better" when she's 17. The show has hammered in the point that his actions have not = how he feels for Octavia very well. That, or just neglected to show any good bonding moments between them or anything that didn't involve Octavia having to forgive Stolas (as any Octavia episode had Stolas ignoring her and then saying sorry. Which would maybe be fine if they showed more to their relationship outside of that).

Rambled more than I thought I would for the series I have way less interest in, haha. But I don't really care for the "Stolas did nothing wrong" attitude I see some people have when Stolas has done things wrong. He was in an unfortunate situation to be sure, but he can still do wrong things (by all accounts, him cheating on Stella was wrong on a moral level). I LIKE Stolas' character too btw, and I like how messy he is. But I feel like a lot of people are gonna brush off Octavia's view as "she doesn't know any better" or just that she was being unfair about everything when I don't think that's fair to her. She was harsh, yes. I think the pill thing she doesn't understand entirely, but she's 17 not stupid. And there's more than just the pills that Octavia has reason to be mad about concerning her father that I think people don't wanna acknowledge. Maybe I'm talking nonsense though? I don't know, I really haven't been convinced about some of Stolas' actions, even if again his situation was messy/complicated.

[aaronsinferno]

'buck and tommy only had a one episode build up' no if they had a one episode build up that would be fine, tk and carlos were fucking within like an hour of meeting and i have no issue with that because they have an actually palpable instant attraction and connection rather than being thrown together randomly for shock value, their relationship actually developed really well after that, they're both very well developed characters, neither of them is significantly more invested in the relationship and their makeout scenes don't look like somebody frenching their dad lmao.

Regardless, the attraction between the two is real. They’re in a non speculative and canonically proven romantic relationship that’s been said to be healthy and will come off as a romcom. Just wanted to get that out of the way before I got into anything.

Evan and Tommy weren’t a slow burn. They didn’t see each other across a room and go “I’m gonna take you home later” or anything similar to that. It was just one guy unaware of his attraction towards another until the other guy in question made the first move. (Which was bold asf btw)

There’s no one way to jumpstart a relationship. Sometimes it’s taking a leap of faith and acknowledging your feelings in whatever way you can.

The kiss was always going to be shocking hence the uproar of homophobic outrage afterwards. If Evan, for whatever reason, kissed who you wanted him to kiss then I’m positively sure you’d still be pretty surprised that the kiss actually happened. A scenario that will live and die on the internet btw.

And you’re right to imply that Tommy isn’t a fully developed character. There’s still so much we don’t know about him. I’m assuming that if the writers want him around more, then not only will they build onto his character and background, but they’ll also build on his and Evan’s relationship.

I’m assuming the dad thing is you making fun of Lou’s age. I don’t have a problem with it. Unfortunately for you, though, neither does Evan. We’ve seen papa Buckley before, and I hate to say it, but Tommy doesn’t give that at all.

And I love Tk and Carlos, but using characters who have been sure and open about their sexuality since before their series began as a “gotcha” moment for Evan and Tommy is a bit odd. They know what they want and have experience identifying partners and forming relationships. Evan just came to realize that he’s bisexual. It’s new to him so it’s understandable if he’s not making moves like TK.

It’s a show. Let things fall into place. The story is still being told. Exhale.

[mischiefbuckley]

I want to see Eddie’s sisters on the show. I need to see this man who we have seen time and time again be an adoring and loving father to his son show us how protective and caring he is towards his sisters and especially with the dynamic of how they grew up with the parents they had as well like it would be very interesting to see say if there was an Eddie Begins Again/Eddie centric episode in season 8 to see how that plays into Eddie’s childhood and again the whole Mexican Catholic religious background he had growing up and how that’s affected his life time and time again from feeling forced into a marriage because he found out his girlfriend is pregnant and that was the right thing to do, but later signing up for the military because again he is the man of the house and is suppose to provide for his family, so he’s mirroring what he has seen growing up with his father never being present and always working.

When he does come back after the end of his first tour he’s met with medical debt in the form of his son Christopher being diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, so again what does he do he signs up for another tour, so he is able to take care of the bills and make sure Shannon stays at home and takes care of Christopher because that’s the role his mom had when he was growing up, again mirroring his childhood experiences being that both him and Shannon were young parents and Eddie didn’t know any better. When he does come back after he’s awarded the silver star, he has trouble assimilating back to what his life is suppose to be. He’s suppose to be the supporting husband to his wife and kid and on top of still having his parents never thinking he is doing enough as the man of his own family now. When Shannon leaves him to go take care of her mom, his family immediately blames her for everything and tries to take advantage of the situation of Eddie being busy and trying to provide for his son by working 3 different jobs while also keep in mind already thinking of the future and he had been looking at other cities to move to because again he didn’t want his son being raised in the type of environment he was raised in. He got offers from Chicago and LA, but ultimately he ended up choosing LA and started his probationary year at the LAFD at station 118. And throughout his journey on the show we have seen him time and time again not only adjust to his new life now that’s he’s living in Los Angeles, but he has a positive support system around him including a new best friend who he can rely on and they have each others backs no matter what.

And when we get to season 5 where he’s going to therapy and talking about his past trauma and ptsd from being in the military and we see him be vulnerable and we see him as he has his mental breakdown after he finds out that the people he saved back in Afghanistan have all died, he’s at a lost for words and doesn’t know how to handle that pain so he completely loses it and the one person that comes to his rescue and supports him through everything is Buck. So it will be very interesting to see now with how season 8 pans out how they will tackle the whole catholic storyline if Eddie is going back to church now that he’s all alone and can’t really rely on his primary role of being a father because he’s son is away and for the first time in his life he is completely alone with all his emotions. It will again be very interesting to see what different storylines they have planned out for him, but even with the interview today that was released where Tim mentions that he’s even isolated in a sense from Buck with him being in a relationship and his time outside of work being limited on when they can hangout and it sounded like Eddie would be third wheeling so it will be something to watch with everything else he has going on if they are going down with the catholic guilt storyline with him coming to terms with his sexuality

[xjulixred45x]

Since I'm in the Helluva Boss Mood, I'm going to talk about something that I hope doesn't get me crucified.

I.ABSOLUTELY. HATE. THE .STOLYTZ.

Although I only realized this year.

If we go for the bases, we go with the bases.

✨NEITHER OF THE TWO KNOWS THE BASICS OF A STABLE RELATIONSHIP✨

Stolas was put in an arranged marriage as a child, having an EXTREMELY absent father and living in a turbulent relationship (which became abusive at times, with quiet moments but well, I don't think it would last long) with Stella. We are not told that Stolas has tried to be unfaithful in the past, so Stolas has no REAL EXPERIENCE in HEALTHY relationships to enter into one.

Blitz is much worse in this regard. He had an alcoholic father who left him in the background ALL the time above his best friend, and having to take care of his mother. He accidentally causes an accident that ends up killing his mother, leaves his best friend disabled, his sister hates him, etc.

Blitz, unlike Stolas, did have more relationships before him, but we know that they all ended BAD, especially VEROSIKA (there are even hints that she wanted to help him with his bad situation but he pushed her away) and as such it only did more harm than good .

all this without counting episode 1/season 2

Stolas clung TOO much to the good memory he had of Blitz, but to him it didn't mean HALF of what it meant to Stolas (since he already had positive things in his life like his sister, his mother and Fizz) so what? What does an adult with zero knowledge of healthy affection and ZERO experience in real relationships do? HE MANIPULATES TO GET WHAT HE WANTS.

Which brings me to my second point.

✨THE IMBALANCE OF POWER✨

If we ignore the fact that Imps are considered the lowest race in hell (because like all forms of racism, it is STUPID reasoning) even so the biggest red flag is the huge imbalance of decision-making power that exists in the relationship.

Blitz only wanted Stolas' book, HE REALIZED and what did he do? HE MADE A SEXUAL "ARRANGEMENT"(ABUSE, BC THE SEX CAN'T NEVER EVER BE A COIN TO TREAT WITH)WITH BLITZ TO GIVE HIM HIS BOOK (which HE KNEW HE NEEDED) ALL IN ORDER TO GET CLOSE TO HIM.

This is a monumental ABUSE OF POWER by Stolas! because at the end of the day he is the one who decides whether he gets the book or not (he knows it is VITAL for his work, WHAT HE LIVES ON) AND he tries to excuse it with the fact that it is a "way to spend time with him" EXCUSE ME !?!?

First of all, how the hell was Blitz supposed to realize that Stolas "loved" him if in episode one they literally had to censor everything that Stolas wanted to do in bed with Blitz? (and it's like that until chapter 6-7 where he begins to act more affectionately)

THERE ARE A THOUSAND WAYS TO INVITE SOMEONE OUT AND YOU HAD TO CHOOSE THE MOST ASSHOLE AND TOXIC ONE OF ALL. Abuse of power, control, poor communication, THERE'S EVERYTHING HERE, I'M IN CHERNOBYL!

AND IT'S NOT EVEN THE WORST.

Just because! There are toxic relationships that are fine to show on screen, especially in this case, gay/lesbian couples are rarely put under a toxic air, so there was A LOT to take away.

but the WORST thing is how ROMANTICIZED IT IS and as if BY FORCE they want you to 1) feel sorry for Stolas/get angry with Blitz or 2) that you SHIP THEM...

WHAT

Look, I like both characters, their stories are interesting and I like their personalities. the episodes focusing on JUST ONE of them are very good, but that's the point.

✨THE QUALITY DECLINES EVERY TIME THEY ARE TOGETHER ✨

Stolas is much more likable when he's being the prince of hell who's going through a turbulent divorce, dealing with his teenage daughter who he adores, singing songs to said daughter, helping other Demon Lords (I'm looking at you Asmodeus), etc.

Blitz seems much happier being with Millie and Moxxie killing people, talking about Loona, doing his job, getting into trouble with humans and being a complete bloodthirsty.

BOTH SHINE BRIGHTER BEING SEPARATED, NOT TOGETHER.

If you ignore the whole romance thing, they are good characters, but they forcefully want to introduce this drama...

ahg....it's late, I have school tomorrow, don't kill me for my honest opinion. If I think of anything else I'll edit it.

love ya❤️❤️❤️❤️

[spotlightlowlife]

Vaggie, a hazbin already?

has-been

noun

ˈhaz-ˌbin  🗣

Synonyms of has-been

: one that has passed the peak of effectiveness or popularity

♡♡♡ Merriam Webster's dictionary

Four episodes in and Helluva was plenty engaging and entertaining with time spent on our leading characters and their dynamics with little deviation from the story we were sold.

Four episodes in Hazbin is like a busy anthology and our leading character Charlie is nearly a non entity.

Vaggie is Charlie's keeper, bestie, love interest, heavy and spokesperson all rolled into one, but since Charlie is progressing slowly, has way too many side plots and frequently ventures off alone in order to introduce us to another member of this abundant cast who will shadow her with their brighter personality and multiple storylines, poor Vaggie is left on the bench.

Being the loyal sidekick who is there to fight for their leader/partner is a common entire personality, this seems to rest on that a lot, she says what needs to be said, she's tough in this rough environment, however we meet bolder, tougher, powerfull, we meet people with goals, achievements and difficulties.

So far Vaggie is getting the Millie treatment, Millie being the scrappy spouse who's interests, background and goals don't matter, of a more significant but very meek leading character who she stands beside and will step up for occasionally, but really, Vaggie may have it worse as she technically has more to lose being a sinner and frankly, she's in a position of privilege at the same time, being that she has such a close relationship with a princess/chosen one/antichrist who is set to change the world but needs to find her voice, Vaggie literally acted as her voice right off the bat! Then nothing!

If only she was more driven.

If only she was more manipulative.

What are her view points? What does she want? Why does she agree with Charlie? Where does she believe Charlie can improve? What was she doing prior to Charlie pitching her rehabilitation idea? Does she care about the sinners and their salvation too?

Could her closeness to Charlie have been a means of protecting herself from the purges? Who knows, hopefully, as it would give her some substance.

Why is she there and what does she do? Closest to the leading character but we learn a bit about the background of Husk and Angeldust first, who have trades and a very questionable dynamic, whilst Vox gets to be a rival to the very powerful Alastor whilst rubbing shoulders with the successful Valentino, who links right back to Angel, but Charlie's second in command, not such luck, she's Charlie's right, or left hand.

Since the show is about rehabilitating sinners and Vaggie is good by default as far as we're concerned, shouldn't she be a prime case for ascension? Is she happy where she is? Could this be a codepdancy on both Vaggie and Charlie's part?

It has been a while since the Hazbin pilot, plenty of time to fine tune the story and decide the way forward, to retcon or claim the pilot isn't canon at all, however, it seems we really do need these pilot episodes to get to know the characters.

Vaggie seemed more of a someone to me in the breif time she had, but we may have to ignore all that.

The pilots of both shows have been readily available online for a long while, plenty of time for viewers to form a ready fanbase who have fallen in love with characters, fans who have enjoyed fanart and fanfiction as they wait for the story to finally play out. A neglected character's charm relies in the idea if them since they're not getting time.

Helluva had a silly and hyper pilot that outlined all we needed to know, Hazbin's pilot however set a rather high standard with us following someone of power who has grand dreams in motion, a standard that's not getting met as our mains are ignored.

One last thing, the pilot is the foundation of this shows (high) reviews. IMDB is one of the leading review pages on the net and it doesn't separate the pilot from the main series.

[ecargmura]

Pokemon Horizons Episode 48 Review - Artistic Freedom

Congratulations, Roy, you finally won your first official battle! It took 44 episodes, but there’s some progress! This was a good episode highlighting Roy’s positive and negative qualities and showing off what he is like as a character. As a positive, he’s innovative; however, his negative quality is that he is impatient. I think that he needs to have someone tell him that he doesn’t need to rush and that he needs to take his time to progress and improve his battling.

I’m surprised that Roy had two battles in one episode. The first was a match between him and Nemona, which he loses, obviously. Though, this battle does show his impatient aspects as he immediately wanted a rematch with Nemona as he blamed the loss on the rain but gets stopped as he was told by Brassius to focus on art. The second battle was the long awaited rematch between him and Brassius. This time, Roy was a bit more strategic and got his first victory.

I love the parallelism of this match. When Brassius first appeared in Episode 10, he was in an art block and Roy was the one who helped him out of his funk. Episode 48 has it to where Roy was struggling and Brassius was the one to give him advice by comparing battles with art. Like art, battles can use many different strategies and styles for expression. Pokemon Trainers express themselves with their Pokemon choices and battle style, so it is an art form in a sense. Speaking of which, Fuecoco learned Stomping Tantrum during his first match with Brassius, but it’s ultimately his newly learned Flame Charge that scored a win for Roy. You know what this means? Fuecoco got rid of Ember! I think what makes Roy’s battle exciting is the fact that Fuecoco has the most variety in his move pool. Fuecoco is seen using the most moves of the main Pokemon by far too! Floragato mainly uses Magical Leaf and Quick Attack and sometimes Scratch while Quaxly only knows three moves.

The subplot with the art festival is actually nice! Like how Katy’s episode focused around baking, Brassius’s episode focused on art and creativity. Hassel and Liko’s father Alex appears in this episode as well. Alex came to the festival due to his picture books. I was a bit disappointed that Hassel and Brassius’s relationship was only mentioned and their closeness wasn’t really shown other than them saying pet names to each other. I get that this is a kids’ show and that the focus is on Roy. Maybe if they were to make another appearance in the future, their closeness will be shown? Despite that, I do love how each of the kids’ art works is a reflection of themselves in a way. Liko is a naturally gifted artist thanks to being Alex’s daughter, but she works with her Pokemon as they finger paint and she does the Arboliva drawing. Roy uses clay and when things get awry at first, he and Fuecoco burn the clay and even uses metal rods to hold it up. I’m actually amazed that he can make a clay sculpture of that caliber. He has artistic talent as well. I think that him using clay is a reflection of his active personality and that he was raised on an island as clay is made from minerals found in nature. Dot’s art piece revolves around using Tinkatink’s hammer obsession to make a ferris wheel. She’s the only one to borrow another trainer’s Pokemon as she borrow’s Roy’s Wattrel for the mechanical aspect of it. This reflects her tech-savvy background. As someone who loves art, this really got a kick into my artistic creativity. I hope that it does the same for all you artists out there!

Now that Roy passed his Basics test, it’s now Dot’s turn! Will she pass? Will she fail? I have this inkling of a feeling that she’s going to fail the first time and then pass the second time. Why? For drama. Anyways, what are your thoughts on this episode and what are your predictions for the upcoming Dot vs Iono match?

[pinkhorsepro123]

So, I just recently watched the 4 episodes of Hazbin Hotel, and MAN IVE GOT SO MUCH TO SAY

Spoilers underneath the read more!

I will be critical of some things, as a writer it's kind of in my blood to be lol.

But I want to first say, it was WELL WORTH THE WAIT. I usually don't like these type of adult shows, yet I still loved watching it, and am having trouble not rewatching it already lol.

I'm going to go over my few criticisms first before I go over the, many positives. (Not all of them, I'll be here writing this all night lol

My main problem is the fact that those who watch it without knowledge of the Pilot will be quite confused. I feel like, they should've either remade it or even put it on there as the first episode.

Also, at first I found the musical bits to be embarrassing, but at the same time they're perfect. If it didn't have them, I don't think it would be Hazbin Hotel.

Katie Killjoy, her voice is not, right- I understand though if that's the only time we'll hear from her. If not though, definitely needs a new one. The only other voice I despise is Val's, it might be because I love how ParanoidDJ does him. It just, doesn't scream the pimp to me. The rest, even if at first I found it meh, as time went on I grew to love them. (Nothing against the voice actors of course! Just doesn't fit the characters)

For EP 4, my only complaint is that there should've been a content warning before it. Even just saying that there's triggering topics ahead would've sufficed. Although those who know Hazbin Hotel knew what Angel was going through, there will be a few that join without knowing that, only to stumble upon a real fucked up situation they weren't prepared for.

On the situation, I didn't know of the leak I've seen people mention, but istg if I see one more saying it was abuse being sexualized-

It was the purest form of abuse, rape, addiction and sex trafficking, uncensored forcefulness. Angel Dust is a bdsm porn actress who is owned by his pimp. Obviously he's going to have shit done to him, and a lot of it is stuff he's high as a kite while doing.

How the fuck is that sexy? It's one, a song about being fed "poison", shows just enough that you know what's happening but doesn't show more, and in the end he's having a meltdown wishing for help. If it had full sex scenes I could understand that line of thinking, but it doesn't. So yeah, I don't understand it.

Ok tangent is done-

That's pretty much all of my complaints, now for the positives!

The 1st episode finally fixed the major plot point in the pilot, being the angels themselves. It wasn't explained why the angels themselves kill sinners, and the whole just why it's considered overcrowded despite not seeming bursting at the seams (especially considering all the dead bodies around-). The story makes a lot more sense too, the background of why Lucifer and Lilith are the way they are.

Adam, is fucking hilarious. Like seriously, if you can make that kind of character funny you're doing something right. Charlie is perfect, they did a really good job at making her not too innocent. Vaggie and Charlie's relationship is amazing, the fact that they're equals and all.

Angel Dust, they did a pretty good job on showing how good his mask is, yet showing the small cracks every episode. Husker's voice, I was unsure about it at first but by the 2nd episode I loved it. Alastor, perfect. The fact he's so powerful yet still wants recognition is great in showing he is human.

The three V's time!

Vox, well disregarding personal hc's for him, he is GREAT. His personality is funny, and makes so much sense, his voice actor is great, his design mwah, what else can I say?

Velvette, I fucking LOVE HER. Her accent, new design, personality, amazing! There was so little content for her I always wondered what was going to happen. Now, I can say with confidence they did her well.

Other than his voice, Val is done really well. His act in front of Charlie is perfect, and the fact that he seems to love pushing others buttons for entertainment (as shown by Vox) makes so much sense. His narcissism and abusive nature is on point.

The Overlord meeting was really cool. The characters, the way they interact, their designs and voices, love them. Alastor just being on the side is hilarious too.

As a multi shipper, I love both RadioDust and HuskerDust(and many more, basically if the ship is healthy and cute I'll probably like it) ... So I can safely say THAT DUET WAS FUCKING AMAZING-

It's so them too, the fact Husker is horrible at comforting others but still manages to, Angel at first being suspicious, only to slowly let down his walls and join in.

Charlie at Angel's place, I never expected honestly. I didn't know how I expected it to happen, but not in the studio-

Their relationship is really pure considering everything, and it's nice to see.

I think that's, about all I have for my critiques and compliments, well as much as I can give before I explode-

There's only a few things I'm gonna be disappointed if they don't talk about in the series, the main thing is how Charlie is trying to "redeem" Angel Dust by getting him off drugs, completely incorrectly-

I hope it'll be talked about- and finally, I hope Vark is going to be a thing still, the little guy was so coot.

Even if he looks completely different I'm just fine with that. He's a shark pet! What more could you want lol

Ok My head hurts I've stared at this screen for much too long.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

[neonain]

Title: GASTLIGHTING HAH!

Fem!Reader!Eustass Kid! x Killer! (LIGHT!)

First off, Reader is Female Eustass and you and Killer's relationship is only mentioned here in the one shot

And also, I like Oda's design of female Eustass but it lacks the rugged or built look the original Kid has, she may have a sleeper's build but I headcanon female eustass to be still her original height and be a built woman and honestly fanarts with this concept of him is lacking :((. References of Fem! Eustass that I like would be here! (1) (2) (3)

Okay. . . First. Let's commence a background check

Okay {Name} got isekaid as Eustass Kid but Female.

It started when you visited the country of Japan, you have learned their language, their culture and their transportation for four years straight through the help of online tutors and vlogs.

Only to be wasted, the moment you set foot on the streets of Japan.

You got unexpectedly murdered from behind and you woke up as a familiar Child Character

You noticed it the moment you knew your name as Eustass Kid, and the sudden surge of memories flooded your brain that put you through a coma for 2 days and thankfully Killer had taken care of you.

You also fairly watched some episodes of One Piece and can't follow thoroughly due to your busy schedule but you managed, and Kid became an interesting character for you and now, you're in his body- The name sounds manly but hell your keeping it.

Now you and your crew are sailing to Sabaody, you managed to recruit atleast some canon side chracters due to the story and the world seemingly forcing some of its canon lines into you through any means because of your non-Kid-like actions.

You fixed up your hooded cloak and jumped in excitement with Killer sighing besides you

"Oh cmon they call it as the element of surprise!" You snickered and patted your best man's shoulder

Killer sighed once again at your antics and just went along with your 'plan'. Its isnt really a plan, its just a fun thing to do. Make the whole world believe your a man and pretty much your height, body structure and name made it more believable, although the world thinks your mute since Killer had always been speaking on your behalf

Its time for you to change this character's fate, Making an Alliance with Hawkins and X Drake will be good enough. Fuck Apoo. Even though you know that you wouldn't survive the fight with Red haired Shanks but hey, you're curious on how Kid lost his arm

Your ship docked on one of the Islands of Sabaody, you immediately jumped out of your ship and went to explore with some members of your crew behind you

You all explored everywhere, some of your crew buying well- stealing merchandizes of Soul King. It really shocked you when they revealed they're a fan of Soul King

You walked around aimlessly, you really dont remember what Kid did in the show while in Sabaody but you atleast need to be present in the auction house. Then music made your ears perked, You heard a very familiar and hateful voice.

Seems like you have some shit to take care of, you're not really mad about Apoo but the body your in is filled with raw anger and its apparently itching for a fight and who are you to betray it?

You smirked, Already forming a bulk of scrap metal with sharp nails on your right arm.

A revenge for Kid

Apoo was having fun with his crew in the town square, bass boosted speakers loud enough to shake the ground.

His thrill soon broke down when he dodged sharp claws that tore through his equipments and man was he bewildered and upset! Those were worth millions!

He dodged away when the Mysterious Captain Kid stood up from his broken speaker,"What a party pooper you are Eustass!" He groaned out and set himself in a position, double jointed arms already ready to attack and defend.

Although he immediately knew that half of his crew will end up injured if they fought them now and unprepared, suddenly being yanked to suberhood is rude and he doesn't really appreciate his groove suddenly being cut off. Before he could speak up to ask why the man did it, Basil Hawkins and X-Drake came tumbling in, fighting with their devil fruit powers

That gave enough time for Kid to go for Apoo's throat, The musician danced away from the dark blades and now started to fight seriously. There will be no exchange of words in this battle

It maybe lasted 20 minutes or longer when Apoo escaped, leaving the whole town destroyed and in chaos. Slaves escaping and rushing off and civilians running off to safety. You groaned in frustration as your magnet turns off, the metals dropping in a pile below you, You almost killed the guy

"You alright Kid?" Killer asked besides you

"Yeah. . . lets go" you muttered and went your way towards the auction house, Your crew following behind.

Now there you are with your crew at the very back, people rather ignoring your presence and any other pirates in there. Law of course gave you the middle finger, you only scoffed and looked away. Being middle fingered in your own experience is offending asf but not to close friends. You waited and waited, One of your crew wanting to leave since it was boring but the entry of a very familiar people made you smirk. Its near

You only leaned on the wall and just watched how the scene will behold itself. Right on cue, The Mermaid, Camie was brought on stage. Many nobles bidded for the mermaid until all went silent when a Celestial Dragon bidded

You watched the scene when the fishman got shot, you watched as the ceiling fell down, you watched as Monkey D. Luffy punch the Celestial and chaos insues. You chuckled, Your hair standing on end, Witnessing this with your own eyes is something to be greatful for

You and your crew just watched with the Heart Pirates, you watched when Rayleigh came. He glanced towards your way for a little and chuckled, talking to Luffy right after. Did he noticed your a woman?

The scene unfolds quickly, Now the three of you are walking in the hallway of the entrance, You walked silent with your hood up while the two bickered on whose going first. When you were near outside, you slapped behind their heads as you walked pass by them and smirked "Just sit back and relax, and let me do this shit you dimwits"

You stroded forward when both of them paused for a bit, Luffy quickly zooming right past you laughing "Nope Me!". While Law just smirked in amusement behind you

And shall Chaos be welcomed, You three fought off the marines, buying time for your crew to exit in the backdoor.

You dodged and took all metalic weapons of the marines, slammimg them to the ground and let its sharp shards shoot out towards their owners.

The moment you landed on the ground, you didn't notice someone had sliced off your hood from behind making it fall to the ground. Some marines stopped to double check and immediately be confused that Eustass Kid looks rather feminine

You punched the frozen marine on the nose and groaned out "That was my favorite hood dammit!"

Law whistled besides you while Luffy laughed out loud again, A midst from the fight Luffy shrunked after using his third gear mid air

You swooped him up and throwed him up the air "Times up kid, fall back!" You watched as he popped back to normal and went running towards the way your crew went with the Marines chasing from behind him

You ran besides Trafalgar with his crew "Neh, Kid-ya. I propose an alliance" he asked

You hummed in confusion "Huh?!" This wasn't suppose to happen??? What??

"Nah" You laughed after recovering quickly and ran down another road that lead through under a bridge, you heard Law merely chuckle before you were faced with explosions from the front

"CAPTAIN KID!" You looked besides you and found the Victoria Punk already sailing, you grinned and immediately dodged when another bomb bullet went through you

You looked infront and groaned out again, they were handling bazookas

You rolled your eyes and raised both your arms as another wave of bullets were shot and swerved its destination back towards the marines, the men and women yelled in a panick as the bullets went back and exploded right infront of them. You laughed aloud and immediately went to ran along side your ship as a rope got thrown down its sides and you quickly jumped on it and start to climb as the ship drifed apart from land

You grinned as you pulled yourself on to the deck and immediately barked out orders "Alright, lets loose this shits ya guys hear!?"

You were met with cheers as they run around the deck as you and Killer went on the top deck to outlook the marine ships that were starting to chase you "Oh this will he fun" You chuckled as your abilities pulsed on your arm

--

You groaned in relief as you leaned on a box of rum

It was late night on an Island somewhere, you all lost the marines after submerging most of the fleet and you all managed to escape to an Island, and it was a day before entering New World

You sagged your weary bones on the box as you watched the crew drunk around and go wild on the beach, eating and drinking and having fun celebrating before going through the most angsty shit that will happen to them once they entered the Lion's den

"Unusual of you not drinking" You heard Killer say as he sat down besides you with two bottles of rum

"Already have lots behind me" You chuckled but still took the one Killer had handed you

You sighed after gulping down half the bottle and let out an unflattering burp "Oh that hits the spot" you slurred

Killer chuckled and wrapped his arms around your shoulder and you leaned into his arms "I know your thinking, wayy too uncharacteristic of you-"

You laughed and jabbed him in the side with your elbow making him let out a yelp , both of you soon simmering down with a chuckle

"Dont worry about it, the sea will turn bad if I told you" You shrugged and drank down the bottle and threw it back once it was empty, Killer; again handing you the other

"Thanks" you muttered and drank it down again, sighing as your body relaxed more and leaned against Killer's shoulder

You both sat down in silence as you both watched the crew go crazy, staying warm through both the alcohol and eachother

And soon enough, new bounty pictures of 'The Mysterious Captain Eustass Kid' were set up, instead of a man covered in a dark hood, it's now a woman with fiery red hair

[ladyluscinia]

OMG, I read your essay on Destiel and that person yelling "how dare you" was absolutely hilarious! That's some meme material for TvTropes. I didn’t realize Suletta was a quite ambiguous ship like Victuri. What are they even bragging about while calling Destiel queer baiting? Both ships had the same "will they be canon or not" rocky path, but theirs with less homophobic writers.

At least that person apologized and admitted they didn't actually have any background knowledge on Destiel, which is easily the best interaction I had off that poll. They were mad at meme voters and I was quipping about different meme voters and maybe meme voters that love to flood polls to talk shit are the insufferable element here, you know?

The whole canon details thing was something to realize - though I don't think "ambiguous" is the word. Like, they are a pretty clear part of their show's canon, same as Destiel and Victuuri. I don't think lacking an onscreen kiss makes them less canon or anything. If we really want to get into it, trying to pretend there's a clear dividing line between undeniable canon and not (or blessed text vs barbarous subtext) is a mindset that probably causes more harm than good.

Like - subtext is part of the text. It's an element that writers, actors, set designers, etc. put into the story deliberately, and things can be both subtext and really obviously conveying a specific thing (ex: romantic feelings). Not all subtext is equally "open to interpretation" yeah.

If we say "no actually your really blatant subtext is still not real canon unless it's textual in these ways" then we raise the question of what even counts as textual. Is living together and wearing wedding rings textual if we don't acknowledge a marriage any other way? What about if it's from a culture that doesn't wear rings? It also kind of insultingly bakes in a certain level of assumed audience stupidity, where something can be the most obvious conclusion to the information you've been given by the writers but you still have to pretend you don't know it for sure because...? Like the main things you accomplish with arbitrary lines are a) making it easier for bad writing to count as canon than good since it's more likely to be blunt / shallow, b) giving the people with the least creative control (censors) the most say over who gets to cross the lines, and c) devaluing ships that actually try to build up a relationship over time (like well-written straight couples have done for ages) because they are "just ambiguous subtext" until they aren't.

It's a lot more accurate to recognize canon comes in various forms, and "plausible deniability that isn't actually plausible at all if you watch the show" is a big one.

Like I haven't seen the anime so I won't make sweeping claims, but basic example from multiple sources explaining the show premise - the fact that the girls get engaged in episode 1 as near-strangers because of a whole pre-established political / business marriage arrangement between the best fighter and the prized daughter... if you're a writer trying to make sure you can have your f/f ship married in the endgame, having it be a plot point to guarantee access to Bride/Groom queercoding through the whole series is a really good way to do that! And it's specifically queercoding with a "straight explanation" even if it's insulting to both the writers and audience to pretend that holds up to scrutiny in the context of the whole series. I know this because I've seen those sorts of tactics a lot.

It's just really interesting how the difference between a queerbait, a will-they won't-they, and a canon slowburn can often be determined by how positive any given fan's feelings toward the ship, show, and writers are. It's hardly objective fact.

(EDIT: Oh and I didn't use wedding rings as an example because of the anime - it wouldn't even be a good one because they also have people referring to the girls as in-laws - I used it because it's a broadly understood cultural shorthand but also fundamentally "wearing literally any ring on this finger = dedicated romantic relationship" is super subtextual.)

[usamamoweek]

Meet the Creators - Oshioki Yo! Podcast

What username(s) and platform(s) can folx find you on? (Please include links!)

@oshiokiyopod here on Tumblr and Twitter

You can listen to the episodes on Spotify, Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Cast, and Podchaser (links to show pages in the platform names)

(Fun Fact) What is your favorite kind of potato?

Eisha: Partial to a Yukon gold, can't beat a russet. French fries are the ultimate form of potato

Kim: French fries

How long have you been creating works in fandom spaces? How long have you been active in the SM fandom?

Eisha: 2 years creating this podcast, been on the internet for SM in some capacity for 20 odd years

Kim: Our podcast has been up for two years but I’ve been a fan of Sailor Moon since the 90s

What type(s) of creative works do you usually make? (fanfics, digital art, cosplay)

Podcast!

What do you enjoy about creating for the SM fandom?

Eisha: Meeting new friends!

Kim: The SM fandom is such a loving, positive, and inclusive space.

Are you strictly UsaMamo or do you create for other pairings as well?

Eisha: Never limit yourself! We talk about the character backgrounds and relationships across the characters and media types on the podcast.

Kim: For the manga and most versions , UsaMamo all the way. For the original anime, Usagi and literally anyone else.

What inspires you to create works for Usagi and Mamoru?

Eisha: Technically nothing, but they're an OTP

Kim: Too many love stories end when the couple get together but theirs is a story that continues to follow them as an established couple. I love how these two subvert common tropes. Mamoru supports his partner , there’s no jealousy present.

Do you tend to work on multiple projects (WIPs) simultaneously or try to finish one at a time?

Eisha: One at a time - otherwise it gets overwhelming

Kim: I’m only focusing on one project right now

Do you prefer large projects (chaptered fics, webtoons/zines, highly detailed art) or small projects (one-shots or simple art)?

Eisha: Small. Better for mental health.

Kim: I typically prefer smaller projects.

Are there any common themes, situations, tropes, or mediums in your work?

Eisha: We work on (currently) covering the original anime and the manga, incorporating as much Sailor Moon lore, mythology and background info as we can. Not really focusing on specific themes or tropes. Although we have some strong opinions on things we cover.

Kim: I love fantasy, friendship themes, and female protagonist

Is there anything you haven’t explored artistically and would like to try?

Eisha: I'd like to get back to fanfic again!

Kim: I’m hoping to develop a web comic by the end of the year.

[captainjimothy]

recently finished the first season of voyager i have thoughts about it. will continue to update with more thoughts as i get through the show. but so far, i think

Voyager and DS9 are both trying to make statements about heavy topics like racism, war, etc. But DS9 has the advantage of not taking place on a starship. Voyager's points fall flat (so far) because Starfleet HAS to win every argument because the ship HAS to function as close to standard as possible, because they cannot risk jeopardizing their chance of getting home. Whereas on DS9, there was room for starfleet to be wrong about things, and there was room for main cast members to exist totally outside of starfleet protocol. Part of the reason the Cardassian/Bajoran conflict was able to play such a compelling and longstanding role in the series is because Starfleet was only involved as a mediator--both groups were narratively permitted to have their own, non-starfleet feelings, arcs, etc about it. When the Dominion War started, Starfleet was on the front lines, but they still were not in control, they were allied with their peers. One of the best episodes (In the Pale Moonlight) is about the moral dilemma Sisko faces in attempting to manipulate the playing field. I'd also point out that DS9 had the advantage of Avery Brooks, who was not only a brilliant actor and director, but also played a non-alien black man. in contrast, Voyager's non-alien POC are Chakotay (whose racial writing has been VERY weak so far) and Harry Kim (whose background has not yet been explored at all--this is a neutral fact, but relevant).

honestly atp i think B'Elanna's position is the strongest, since she's a latina klingon and serves to facilitate conversations about racism as it affects latina women specifically, but i feel it's diluted by the fact that the text focuses exclusively on the fantasy racism instead of the real racism--and heavily plays into biological essentialism with their fantasy racism, which. is like. that's the opposite of the point you could be making here?. idk man

tangent to my original point, but genuinely to me the central tragedy of B'Elanna's life so far is that she has little/no connection to klingon community or peers. she's trying so hard to form a relationship with herself that isn't destructive and she's doing the best she possibly can in the circumstances but that pain of complete isolation is so, so loud to me. i love her so much i need her to be okay

anyway, i think they're really trying to do something with the integration of the Maquis crew, and I think the episode that focused on Tuvok's training was good in that regard--it did concede that starfleet needs the flexibility to be wrong sometimes--but i'd like to be seeing way, way more of that. I'd like to see more conversations about how militarized starfleet is (this was alluded to in Tuvok's training episode, but not addressed specifically), and how that is a weakness. i'd like to have seen some god damn nuance in the scene where janeway yells at b'elanna for stealing/using the space-folding transporter technology--they were capable of nuance, they gave tuvok nuance in that scene!

speaking of Tuvok. my man. i am dying to see some real character-study type episodes for him, he's clearly a very complex person with an interesting history. i loved the murder mystery episode where he played detective (<- me when i have a special interest in detective fiction), and the training episode was your classic "vulcans need to be told when it's okay to bend the rules" which may be overdone but it's not bad! also. let me just say for the record i think Tim Russ is doing a fucking incredible job with the role, vulcans are very difficult to play with depth and clarity, and he's knocking it out of the park.

another side note, but one of the many little things that bothers me SO much: in Tuvok's training episode, he tells the bajoran kid that his earring cannot be worn on duty, which (a) literally goes against starfleet protocol as it pertains to personal cultural items, and (b) contradicts everything we've seen so far about both bajorans and Tuvok himself. it may have been included as part of the "vulcan follows the rules to a fault" thing, but it just doesn't make sense. Tuvok would know exactly what the earrings mean, he would know that you don't just take that away from someone! it's another moment where starfleet HAS to be right about EVERYTHING or else the world will explode or whatever. very irritating.

[notanothermacdennisblog]

It's Always Sunny in Tarodelphia 2: Electric Boogaloo

(trying out some new names)

more sunny analysis using tarot lets gooo

prev reading: The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis

Episode: Mac Finds His Pride

For: Mac

Spread: 5 Card Lenormand

Some background on the Lenormand deck as it works a little differently than other tarot decks: There are 36 cards, each with their own meaning. Spreads are usually in a line or sometimes a grid for bigger ones. What makes the Lenormand special is that along with the individual meanings of the cards, you interpret the the relationship between cards that are next to each other. So a five card reading like this one has nine opportunities total for interpretation, adding this extra layer of analysis.

Deck I'm using: Homemade Lenormand Deck

I made these from a regular playing card deck (so no fun art sorry) because each card is also associated with a specific number/suit. There are no reversals with Lenormand decks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Lily: age, wisdom, maturity, things that take a long time, sensuality, sex, virtue, morality, ethics

2. Clover: luck, small fortune, a win, a fortunate opportunity, surprises, lightheartedness, small happinesses, being untroubled, comedy

Lily + Clover: enjoying sensual pleasures, contentment in simplicity

3. Key: solution, a "yes," positive outcome, access, success, openness, revelation, unlocking, achievement, liberation, resolution

Clover + Key: an easy way out, taking an opportunity

4. Scythe: accidents, hasty decisions, danger, a warning, speed, reckoning, cutting away, abrupt damage, shock, violence, a swift act

Key + Scythe: opening oneself to danger, opening oneself to put an end to something

5. Ship: depart, farewell, distance, voyage, travel, journey, adventure, movement, vacation, foreign shores, international travel, physical journeys

Scythe + Ship: a painful goodbye, end of a journey or trip

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(words that appear within the reading are bolded in the analysis)

I love this episode as a culmination of Mac's journey accepting his sexuality. I need to go more in depth with the dance specifically in another post because there's too much to go into here, but instead I'll relate the episode in its entirety to the reading.

The Lily has a paradoxical symbolism, one of purity, morality, and innocence, alongside themes of sensuality and sex. It parallels the duality of the Madonna-whore complex, itself being this impossibly fine line between the faithful and the faithless. In this case it represents Mac's budding sexuality along with the Catholic morality ingrained in him since childhood. The fear of eternal damnation is enough to repress and recontextualize these early homoerotic feelings as a sort of brotherly love for Dennis and Charlie that evades the need to analyze those feelings further.

The Clover representing luck could be the bar purchase with Dennis and Charlie, noting that the clover is an Irish symbol and that Mac has a shamrock tattoo on his thigh. This opportunity also puts him in the position to build his life alongside Dennis, and for those perhaps confusing feelings of the Lily's paradoxical nature to flourish.

Jump forward to the present, where the Key provides the solution to these feelings coming to a head: coming out. He did this with the gang last season, finally no longer feeling the pressure to hide a part of himself around his friends. This pressure to conform was still present with his father, however, for whom he has spent his entire life desperately trying to please and be accepted by, in the form of touting an air of exaggerated masculinity.

So with Frank's help, he took the opportunity of having his father face to face to show him in his own way who he is, one where the facade of performative masculinity breaks down and instead is replaced with a feat of strength, beauty, and vulnerability. Which brings us to the Scythe. Separation, swift destruction. A breaking. His father getting up and walking out, just as he's done time and time again. And the crushing moment Mac almost gives up on the whole dance. There's a finality to this moment, staring truth in the face, with nowhere left to hide. He opened himself up to rejection in the rawest way possible and in doing so, left no room for misinterpretation.

This goes hand in hand with the Ship, where Luther has not made an appearance since this episode, marking this as his painful goodbye. The Key and the Scythe together note, however, that this separation needed to happen in order to find closure and conclude this chapter of his life. Only now can he move forward knowing the truth, that is until he finds another way to delude himself into thinking there's a way to win him back.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

side note i am working on a project related to this episode, so the dance analysis will probably go along with that

anyway next up Dennis gets analyzed in The Storm of the Century

[infinityprincess]

Lillie:

Name: Apricity "Lillie" Ichor

Age: Early twenties

Race: Human / Celestial

Gender: Female / she+her pronouns

Sexuality: Pansexual

Relationship status: Single

Eye-color: Greyish blue

Hair-color: Dark golden blonde

Height: 5´6

Weight: 123 lb

Celestial info: I write Lillie as being a celestial. That means for me that she is like the positive opposite of an Entity like in Dead By Daylight. Instead of taking lifes and feasting on negativity, Lillie more likely gives a lot energy, life and fortune. She is immortal and stronger than death, making dead people live again or healing wastelands with ease. Nature follows Celestials wherever they go too. Lillies power can be described as unlimited as they come from her source, the universe which is infinite. Travelling through realms on her own, controlling space and time on will ... all things she can do. But when she uses a lot of her strength at once, including shapeshifting, once she returns to normal state, she will feel extreme fatigue, is weak and feels strong depressive phases.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Background:

Lillie grew up as a simple young girl, living a normal teen life with school and family. Everything was fine until she found herself stuck in a dream after turning 22 to have a loud voice speaking to her.

With that, Lillie found out that she was not a normal being. Not a normal human. She was a celestial, a chosen one. The universe chose this girl to become its vessel and the guardian of the many realms and worlds it had. Not understanding well, she suddenly fell into a new world, in the middle of Manhattan of a world where fantasy came true and superheroes and villains were alive.

Since Lillie came from a world where all these people and worlds were nothing but actors and studios creating movies, she was very confused at first. She also fought with the fact she now was most likely one of the most powerful beings in the universe, her powers coming from the universe itself understanding it as a celestial, god-like being. Despite her becoming immortal and superhuman, she discovered that she had power over the infinity stones without any borders and could change her shape to beings that represented the universes power.

Her powers came with a huge price: Whenever she would use too much of it at a time, she would fall into a slumber straight after as well as having a deep depressional episode where she lacks the ability to feel confident and swallowed by darkness. Aside from that, Lillie would always try to figure out why she, a normal simple girl with no exciting history, was chosen by the universe to become a celestial guardian. She would try to hide herself and stay subtle, despite her being able show impressive strength, speed, stamina and heightened senses without even using the universes additional powers.

Yet Lillie would find out that her aura became much more radiant. Gods, magicians, non-human figures would easily sense her background, making her a regular target for both pleasant and dangerous interactions.

She now passes time by trying to stay silent, isolated and out of trouble or too much attention, feeling insecure anyways she just tries to get by.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

General look of Lillie with a sword she sometimes carries

Suit-up form of Lillie when she is in her celestial look to go into combat or make an impression.

Lillies form when she uses the universes powers to change. A tiger-dragon able to travel through space and time and dimensions with great speed and a various range of powers and attacks.

Credits: picrew, playgroundai

[variety-fangirl]

Collateral / Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Part 1 here

Summary: After Barry used you as collateral for Rafe's drugs, you decided to take some time away from Rafe. Rafe couldn't handle being away from you for so long and lost it, resulting in Topper contacting you to help calm Rafe down.

Warnings: drinking, angry Rafe, destruction, etc... lmk if I missed anything.

Author's note: Here's part 2 my lovelies! I hope you love it! Please like, reblog, and comment so I can gain feedback on how I'm doing. Thank you. Sorry, it took long, had a busy couple of days.

Word count: 3.4k

You hadn't spoken to Rafe properly in about a week and three days, needing the time to clear your head. Rafe had called a few days ago to ask if you were okay and were planning to come back to him but you didn't have a definitive answer that would please him. You were taking this time to really think about your relationship as a whole and whether you could withstand any more of Rafe's addiction. You hadn't quite realised how much it had affected you and taken a toll on your wellbeing, needing to focus on yourself for a little bit. You just wanted two weeks to yourself, before getting the confidence to see Rafe again. You had been spending time with your friends, going out for lunch and spending time with your family. But your mind remained clouded with the love you had for Rafe, your heart yearning for him.

Two of your best friends came over to keep your company, wanting to see how you were feeling about Rafe. You all sat on your balcony, a small sofa and chair set out there. You sighed, a glass of wine in hand and looked out at the beautiful view. "I honestly have no idea, my head is telling me to think about all the stress and trouble he's caused, yet my heart misses him. I keep thinking about all the amazing, loving, intimate times we had together and how much we love each other. I don't deny for a second that he loves me but how much can I put up with?" You huffed sadly, wrapping your arms around yourself for comfort. Kelly, your tanned brown-headed friend looks at you with her brown eyes, "I know for a fact that boy is head over heels in love with you, but I know how much pain he has caused you. I suppose a good question is, can you see yourself having a future without him? and if you can, does it upset you?" she questioned, taking a sip from her own drink.

"Kels is right, are you going to regret not making it work? that's what you need to ask yourself. Of course, I don't want to see you hurt but I can't help but be on team Rafe. I've never seen you happier when things are good with you guys." Jennifer shrugged, always having like Rafe and you together. Jennifer's blonde hair shimmered in the sunlight, her eyes twinkling at you with curiosity. "UGHH, I have no idea. And that's the problem, I need to figure it out. I thoughts two weeks would be enough but I'm reaching that point and it's not made things any clearer." you admitted, a pout forming. Your two friends laughed at you, "sorry babe, we can't help you with this one. This is a solo battle." Kelly watched as you huffed to yourself, feeling sadness for you being in such a difficult position.

Eventually, the two left, leaving you to your own thoughts once again. You moved inside, closed the balcony door behind you and sat on your bed. You continued to sip your wine, opting to put a show on to watch. You flicked through Netflix and found something that piqued your interest. You weren't really paying attention, you just wanted some background noise to distract yourself. It helped to distract you for a while, interesting for about two episodes. You stared mindlessly at the TV, thoughts of Rafe filling your mind. You groaned, wondering how he was doing and what he was up to. Was he with someone else? Had he already moved on? Oh... the image of him with some gorgeous blonde model-like woman filled your head, making you feel jealous. You sighed, pausing the show and decided to take a shower. It was already 9:30 pm by this point now.

You made your way into your ensuite bathroom and turned on the shower. You stripped your clothing and got in the shower, feeling the hot water run down your head to your body. You leant your backward and let the water run through your hair, helping to relax you. The hot water melted all your stress away, helping to fully distract your mind for a while. You washed your hair with your favourite shampoo and conditioner and scrubbed your body clean with your favourite scent. You took your time, the hot water did wonders for your stress and worries. Once you were finally done and felt clean, you stepped out and wrapped a towel in your hair and on your body. You brushed your teeth and for a little extra treat to make yourself feel better, you did a little skincare routine for your face. You used your favourite body moisturiser and got dressed into a pair of sweats and a pyjama top.

You got into bed feeling better, your worries had left temporarily. You cuddled into bed, letting your damp hair air-dry. You continued to watch the show from before, allowing your mind to fully focus on it and pay attention to what was happening. You had fallen asleep at some point through the show, only becoming aware of this when you were woken up by your phone ringing next to you. You groaned and paused the TV, looking at the caller ID. You frowned, Topper's name appearing on the screen. You and Topper were friendly, having hung out a few times at parties or at Tannyhill with Rafe and Kelce. You answered, placing the phone to your ear. You tiredly rubbed your eyes, "hello?" you yawned out, hearing commotion on the other end. Topper sighed, "y/n I'm sorry to call you this late but we have a situation here. Rafe! Calm down! Fuck sake!" Topper yelled in frustration, immediately catching your attention.

You sat up in bed at the mention of Rafe's name, why did he need to calm down? What was he doing? "Topper?" You asked, feeling nerves settle in your stomach. "I'm sorry y/n, Rafe's freaking the fuck out. He got really drunk and is emotional. He's screaming, throwing shit, crying. He keeps mentioning your name, no one can calm him down." Topper huffed, seeming to feel bad for calling to ask for your help. You debated for a moment, wondering whether going was a good idea. You were about to say no when you heard Rafe yell and something smashing, "Text me the address, I'll come straight away." You heard Topper breathe heavily, "I'll send it straight away, we aren't far. Thank you. Rafe! Stop-" The call ended suddenly, making you worry about what Rafe was doing. The thought of doing something stupid and hurting himself or others entered your mind, making you feel panicked.

You got out of bed and slipped on a pair of converse, tying your hair into a messy bun. Grabbing your car keys and a loose grey zip-up jacket, you made your way downstairs. You knew your family would be upstairs in bed by this point, so you didn't stress about explaining where you were going. You text your parents, letting them know that you went on a drive to clear your head. At least they wouldn't worry if they found your bed empty. Topper texted you the address of where they were, knowing where it was, you placed your phone in your pocket and drove there. It only took fifteen minutes, luckily finding a spot close by to park. The second you got out of your car, you could hear yelling and smashing. You gulped and made your way to the noise. You saw Topper, Kelce, and Rafe come into view, your heart beating faster.

You watched as Rafe kicked a bin that was nearby, the contents going everywhere on the floor. Tears were running down his face and he looked broken. His hair was dishevelled from pulling and running his hand through, loose pieces falling onto his face. It pained your heart to see him this way, so defeated and hurt. "Top." You announced to the blonde-headed boy, alerting him to your presence. He turned to look at you, a look of relief on his face. Kelce looked at you with a small smile, seemingly also relieved for you being there. "He won't stop y/n, he's having a meltdown." Topper rubbed his face tiredly, you felt bad for the two. You placed your hand on Topper's arm, "I got this, you guys go." You nodded to the pair, Kelce was easily convinced. Topper looked at you with concern, "You sure?" he asked wearily.

"Yeah, I'm sure." You nodded, reassuring him that it was okay to leave. Topper sighed and nodded, both boys walking away. You turned your attention to Rafe, who somehow had no idea you were there. You walked over slowly, "Rafe." You called lightly, hoping not to piss him off. His eyes went wide as he turned, almost not believing you were there in front of him. He pushed his hair back out of his face, allowing you to fully see his tear-stained cheeks. You walked towards him, hoping he had somewhat calmed down. "What's going on?" You whispered, tears pricking your vision. He grabbed your face and pulled your forehead against his, his breathing heavy. The smell of liquor fanning across your face with each deep breath he took, the feeling of him touching you made your skin tingle.

"I can't do it y/n, I can't be without you. Nothing makes sense without you, I've never felt so lost." He whispered, his hands trembling as they held you. You felt the tears fall as you pulled back from his forehead and stared at him, "why are you screaming and throwing stuff?" you questioned, staring at him with concern. He huffs, "because I'm fed up of fucking up all the time, it made me lose the best thing I had ever had." He pulls away from you, making your skin feel cold. You sigh, "okay, c'mon. We'll talk about this tomorrow when you're sober. This isn't a conversation to have while one party is drunk." You reached for him, pulling him towards your car. He complied, not bothering to fight you.

You helped Rafe into the passenger seat, buckling his belt for him. He looked up at you as you did so, a look of sadness and adoration in his eyes. You closed his door and made your way around, releasing a sigh as you did. You got in and made the short journey to his house, silence filling the car. Rafe's eyes stared at you the whole ride, his head leaning against the seat. It made you feel extremely nervous, he looked at you with such love yet it was tainted by his sadness. Pulling into the driveway of Tannyhill, you got out and helped Rafe out. His arm wrapped around your waist, half for balance and half for just getting to touch you in some way. You didn't move away or tell him to stop, having craved his touch for a week.

Everyone was either in bed or out, so it was quite easy to slip inside without questions. You led Rafe slowly and carefully upstairs, trying not to make too much noise. Finally reaching Rafe's room uneventfully, you opened his door and led him in. You closed the door with your foot and helped him to the bed. He struggled to remove his clothes, falling over as he did so. You sighed and grabbed the bottom of his shirt with shaky hands. You slowly lifted him off him, throwing it on the floor for now. You helped to pull down his jeans, avoiding looking at his crotch. He watched you with slightly wide eyes, his skin tingled in each place that your skin touched. You helped him under the duvet, "give me a call tomorrow when you feel up to talking okay?" You spoke lightly, almost scared of what the talk would mean.

You were about to turn around to collect his clothes to put in the hamper when your wrist was grabbed, Rafe stopping you from walking away. You turned to him confused, "stay." He whispered, stroking the skin of your wrist with his thumb. "Rafe I don-" you were interrupted, "please. Just stay." He almost begged, his voice raspy from all the screaming. You sighed and nodded, your skin itching to be held by him. The thought of sharing a bed with him again had your heart soaring with happiness, "okay." You nodded, removing your hoodie and placing it on the floor. Rafe lifted the duvet for you, you got under the covers and faced the opposite direction of him.

You got yourself comfortable, Rafe was facing your back. You felt his hand reach to hold your waist but pull back at the last second, a sigh releasing him. "Thank you," Rafe whispered into your neck, the small hairs standing up. You inhaled sharply, "it's okay." You whispered back, feeling his breath fanning the exposed skin of your neck. You snuggled into the bed, preparing to go to sleep. Your thoughts were running wild, but you decided to block them out and deal with everything tomorrow. You were starting to drift off slowly after some time, hearing Rafe's breathing slow down. You assumed he was asleep until you felt him shift towards you. His front pressed against your back, his arm snaking around your waist. "I love you." He whispered, assuming you were asleep. You couldn't help a small smile escape, not moving or saying anything. I love you too, you thought as you began drifting off.

-

The sun streamed in through the window, gracing the room with sunshine. You stirred at the intrusion, frowning at the brightness. You opened your eyes slowly, allowing them to adjust to the light. After two minutes of allowing yourself to come to, you realised Rafe was cuddling you still so tightly. Like he was afraid that if he let you go, you'd disappear. You smiled, happy to be close to him once more but then you remembered the talk you needed to have. You sighed and just decided to enjoy the feel of his arms around you for now. You closed your eyes for a bit, snuggling further into Rafe's warm body. You gently pulled Rafe's arm tighter around your waist without waking him and placing your hand on top of his.

After ten minutes, Rafe began to stir. You felt him sit up slightly, feeling his eyes peering down at you. You kept your eyes shut, curious as to what he would do. You felt his hand stroke your face, tucking the loose strands of hair behind your ear. Your skin tingled from his touch, your stomach fluttering with joy. You opened your eyes, starting up at him with a small smile. His eyes widened and he pulled away, disappointment spreading through you at the absence of his touch. "Morning." You turned to face him, still snuggled in the bed. The sheets smelt like him, his spray having rubbed on the material and left behind traces. It was heaven.

"Morning, I'm sorry about that. I'm used to cuddling you in my sleep." He mumbled, looking down at his hands. You smiled, "it's fine, don't worry about it. Shall we have breakfast, we need to talk?" You asked, biting your lip nervously. You wanted him back so badly but could you trust him again? You were unsure. You always placed a lot of trust in Rafe. What happened with Barry woke you up, making you realise that that was not the life you wanted for yourself. You want a life with Rafe but not with his lifestyle, you knew he couldn't just cut it off straight away but if he could start making the right choices, you would consider taking him back. He nodded, "yeah, let's go." He got dressed comfortably and you both made your way downstairs.

Breakfast was made, you both had something simple as you weren't feeling hungry. The nerves of having this conversation were causing you to lose your appetite slightly. You had mostly sat in silence, both stealing small glances up at one another from opposite now and again. Rafe was the first to break the silence, "how bad was I last night?" You looked up at him, he was already looking at you expectantly. "Umm... You were angry, shouting a lot, you said a lot of things, and you wouldn't calm down." You mumbled, finishing your toast and placing both of your plates in the sink to wash. You started washing the dishes as Rafe continued, "how did you end up there?" He questioned with furrowed brows.

"Topper rang me, you were apparently yelling my name. You wouldn't calm down for Top or Kelce, so Topper asked if I would come and help, so I did." You explained, putting the washes dishes to the side. He seemed to be taking the information in, you swore if you could look into his brain you would see the cogs turning. "Let's go to the living room, we'll talk more there." He nodded, following you to the seating area. You both took a seat, not far from each other. Your knees were barely touching, and neither of you was willing to move. "I'm sorry about how I acted last night, you didn't deserve to deal with that." He grumbled, putting his head in his hands ashamed. You placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly, "it's okay, I was happy to come and help. What was going through your head to get that drunk?" You wondered, you hadn't seen him quite that drunk in a long time.

He sighed and released his head, "I was thinking about you and how I'd fucked up so badly by losing you. I hated myself for putting you in that position with Barry, that should never have happened. I don't feel sorry for many things that happen in my life or because of me but I feel sorry for that, you deserve better." He mumbled the last part, seeming to hate saying the last part. You sighed, "I don't want better Rafe, I want you. I just can't be around that lifestyle for the rest of my life. If you can prove to me that you're willing to change, then I'd be happy to give this another go. I know that it's not going to be a miracle and that it will take time but so long as I can see you making those changes, then we can work through it together." He looked at you with such surprise, his eyes wider than saucers. His mouth formed an 'o' as if he couldn't believe that you would stay after that.

You saw tears form in his eyes, "you're one of the only people who seem to stay by my side no matter what. Even after what happened, you're still willing to be with me?" He questioned in shock, the tears falling. You smiled sadly, " I haven't been with you for years to just give up on us Rafe, I'm still just as in love with you now as I was three years ago. You're my everything, and I can't see my life without you in it." You felt tears begin pooling in your eyes, your friend had been right. The thought of having a future without him pained you, letting you know everything. Rafe scooted forwards, wanting to be close to you. "I fucking love you." his lips came crashing down on yours with so much passion and force that you felt the air almost get knocked out of you. Your hands grabbed the back of his neck and tangled through his hair, a groan escaping Rafe as you lightly pulled his hair.

The kiss deepened, Rafe's hands gripping your shirt tightly, pulling you closer to him. A small moan escaped you as Rafe slipped his tongue inside your mouth slightly, things quickly becoming heated. You were about to straddle him when you heard someone walking in your direction, causing you to pull away. Rafe chased your lips as you moved away which made you giggle, Sarah walked past and looked in your direction. She smiled widely, "thank god! Now Rafe can stop sulking around the house like a child." she smirked and made her way towards the door.

You smiled at the confession, "fuck you, Sarah!" He called with a glare, she just laughed in response from afar. You were suddenly lifted from the sofa, a squeal of surprise leaving you when you were flipped upside down. Rafe had you swung over his shoulder, "time for me to show you just how much I missed you." you could hear the smirk in his tone. He slapped your ass which made you squeal once again, you were in for a long night.

[inawickedlittletown]

Queerbaiting and Buddie

(word count: 1,900)

I keep saying that I don’t want to spend any more time on 9-1-1 meta or fic, but the events of this weekend made me open up a document where I had some unfinished meta and in light of the S4 finale airing tonight, I thought I might at least write this: 

“Queerbaiting is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ representation. They do so to attract a queer or straight ally audience with the suggestion of relationships or characters that appeal to them, while at the same time attempting to avoid alienating other consumers.” 

That is how Wikipedia defines queerbaiting. And I really feel like everyone needs to read that and then read it again and realize that what is happening on 9-1-1 with Buddie is NOT queerbaiting. 

I don’t want to go into the long history of queerbaiting because we would be here all day and anyone that wants to do some research should go and do so. There are a lot of resources out there. Use them. 

But the short of it is this: queerbaiting has a lot more to do with the way a show is promoted, with the way that anyone involved in the show talks about a queer ship, and with the show deliberately scripting scenes that hint at a relationship without any intention of following through. Expectations and wanting a queer ship to go canon and those expectations not being met do not alone equate to it being queerbaiting. 

For any of us that have been around a long time there are a lot of perfect examples and if you compare Buddie to any of them, they are very different. I’ll name a few:

Merlin/Arthur

John Watson/Sherlock

Emma Swan/Regina

Derek/Stiles

Castiel/Dean Winchester (though they did go canon...barely)

Lena/Kara

Buck and Eddie do not fit into that list. Which isn’t to say that someday they could belong there, but I just do not believe that they will even if Buddie never becomes canon. And this all lies in how Buddie as a ship has been treated both on screen and off. I’ll break it down by season. 

S2: 

Eddie is very clearly introduced as a new character, a straight Army veteran with a disabled kid and family drama. He and Buck have immediate chemistry. We can’t deny that, or deny that from that first episode there are immediate sparks. Unintended sparks, but sparks nevertheless. And it is easy to tell that no one on the production team expected that and the story reflects that. 

Yes a foundation for their friendship is formed and yet the season long story focuses on Eddie’s relationship with his estranged wife and Buck is dealing with his own growth after being left by Abby. Their friendship shines and their scenes are great but none of them suggest romance and there are actually a lot of episodes where Buck and Eddie barely interact in S2 aside from in the background or for small work related moments (this mostly happens after Shannon returns). 

S2 does give us the first acknowledgement from the powers that be aka Tim Minear that they know what the fans have seen. This is why the elf scene exists, but it exists in a space where it’s a nod to the fans and not meant to do much more than that. The other moment is during the call with the livestreamer. But S2, places them completely and without question on a strong friendship. 

S3: 

We see a lot more conflict for Buck and Eddie in this season and we see how close and important they are to each other. Those are the two main things. That can be read as friendship easily and it’s a season where both Buck and Eddie deal with their pasts and in one way or another start to get closure while their friendship remains intact. 

Yes there are some scenes that make us squint and go huh, wtf? (I’m looking at you kitchen scene), but narratively we also know that neither of these boys is ready for a real relationship with anyone, let alone each other. But we can bask in how close they are as well as how Christopher fits in into all of it. 

But in S3 we are also introduced to Ana and we see the return of Abby. We also get to see that Buck and Eddie have become closer than ever and that the lawsuit only serves to highlight the importance that they both feel about having the other available to them. I’ll also quickly mention that Eddie Begins worked hard to highlight Buck’s devotion to Eddie. 

S4: 

Without considering the events of the finale (I am avoiding spoilers and know nothing about it or the speculation), we’ve seen Buck and Eddie both grow and get further closure on their past. This season has paralleled them well and their friendship has not faltered, they’re as close as ever. 

The beginning of the season was heavily focused on Buck and we saw him grow as a person and begin to work on himself in a healthy way and we’ve seen Eddie be supportive of that. 

We also have Ana to consider and her relationship with Eddie as well as the return of Taylor and yet the appearance of these women has not changed the Buck and Eddie dynamic. And I find it fascinating that Eddie beginning to date Ana, is the thing that prompted Buck to start dating. The parallels are all over the place but it is the strength of the friendship and the way they care so deeply about each other that remains whether that becomes romantic is still to be seen, but it could still go either way.  

Off-screen by the end of S2, Tim Minear had already addressed Buddie by throwing in that elf scene in a wink/nudge fashion that said “I see you” and in the scene with the girl with the livestream with the comments. During S3 he tweeted about being frustrated by the fans demanding and being hostile and thinking that that would make him more likely to do what they want (I’m paraphrasing what I remember seeing). Tim has never once said that Buddie will happen or shut the door on the ship entirely, but he did say he did not want to engage in conversation about it because he doesn’t want to get into arguments with fans. 

Oliver has always been enthusiastic about Buddie and has even said that he would be perfectly fine with it happening both a while ago and more recently in promo for S4. Conscious of queerbaiting and not wanting to give fans false hope, he has specifically said that he does not know if it will or won’t happen and that he wouldn’t speak on that as he’s not the one making that decision. His support for it happening does not mean he has any sway one way or the other. He’s said this a few times and even wrote a letter to the effect to make it clear to fans that the last thing he wants is to disappoint someone due to something he’s said. 

All in all, it just isn’t a constructive environment for anyone working on the show to interact with fans on this topic because any time that they do, they get attacked by overly enthusiastic buddie shippers that in many ways are making everything worse. 

In all of the interviews from Tim that I’ve seen, he has always been very quick to hint at what was coming up on the show in a way that at times has been misleading on purpose. The number one thing that comes to mind is early in S4 where Buck was said to get a new woman in his life. Tim absolutely made it out to seem like it was a girlfriend while knowing fully well that it was a therapist. This is an excellent example of what promoting and hinting is actually like. No one from this show has done that in regards to Buddie. 

No one has gone out of their way to hint that it may happen in a way that excites the fans. And this is one of my main reasons for knowing that Buddie is not a queerbait. At no point in the life of the show so far has anyone used Buddie in a promotional way to bring in viewers. Because THAT was the whole point of queerbaiting in the past. 

It was a way that some showrunners found to bring in a lot of viewers when they needed to up their numbers in order to show networks they were worth keeping around. Someone figured out that LGBTQ people wanted to see themselves represented so much so that they would tune in to anything that promised an LGBTQ character in some fashion. It was a tactic that worked well in the landscape of tv where there was so little LGBTQ content on mainstream media that anyone wanting it would latch onto anything. And then they just wouldn’t deliver on those relationships or characters. In 2021, that is not the world we live in any longer. 

In today’s tv landscape there is so much to watch and so much to pick from and diversity has grown, it is celebrated. Queer characters are well represented as are queer relationships and queer stories. The times are different. A while back I was listening to a podcast (Bait: a queerbaiting podcast) and something I found interesting was how the hosts both agreed that in today’s tv landscape there is no more real queerbait and that we won’t easily find anything like the ships I mentioned above. I think I agree more with this than I expected to, because I do think that it exists in some spaces, but it definitely isn’t what it used to be. This is a good thing. 

Specific to 9-1-1, this is a show that has that diversity and that isn’t afraid of tackling that diversity and giving us interesting and nuanced perspectives and stories embracing that. We have characters of color, women in positions of power, a F/F relationship, two multi-racial relationships, a disabled character, other queer characters including a M/M relationship. There is so much in this show that embraces diversity and that embraces the reality of what the world looks like. To call it queerbait is to disrespect everything else that this show is and has done and the hard storylines that have been tackled that we would not have seen on tv ten years ago. 

And I get that Buddie would be another breakthrough. It would be a novel way to tell a queer story, and it would be amazing if it were to happen. The set up is there, but it isn’t fully realized, and Buck and Eddie can still be read as just friends if we take off the shipping goggles. But it also isn’t queerbait or likely to become queerbait and people have to stop calling it that. 

What Buddie resembles is one of the many unintended slow burn ships that have frustrated viewers in many forms across fandoms and we just have to go along for the ride and maybe it will happen. Or maybe it won’t. But if we know anything about relationships on tv, it is that a lot of the fun comes from the journey, even if the destination is good too. 

[curlsofsagesmoke]

TMNT (2012) characters as dysfunctional family roles

here I go again analyzing a kids show that ended four years ago. anyway, I saw a tiktok by user doinbigthink where they gave a quick overview of the six kinds of dysfunctional family roles, and I immediately thought of tmnt bc it’s my current hyperfixation. so I spent almost an hour doing research and writing up this analysis, as one does.

as a preface: dysfunction in a family can be caused by anything from someone struggling with addiction to a parent being abusive or unavailable/neglectful to someone having narcissistic personality disorder (npd) etc. etc. Usually there is one person who is the root cause of this (very deep seated) dysfunction and the others in the family (often the kids) fall into these roles in order to cope.

Leo: The Hero

The Hero is often the oldest child. They cope with the dysfunction in the family by being high achievers or perfectionists, and they need a sense of control in order to feel safe within the family. They are seen as very well-adjusted, balanced, and high-functional and are often used as an example of how well the family as a whole is doing. They may allow this misconception to continue (whether consciously or unconsciously) in order to hide the family’s problems. They may be parentified as children (that is, forced to take on a parental role for their younger siblings) and usually feel a lot of pressure to solve the family’s issues. With Leo in particular, you see these two behaviors in the way he approaches leading his brothers as well as the way he obsessed over bringing Karai into the family for Splinter’s sake after discovering her true identity. As an adult, the Hero is often drawn toward romantic partners who are emotionally unavailable (again, see Leo’s crush on Karai) and tend to throw themselves into their work (Leo’s obsession with ninjutsu)

Leo: The Golden Child

The Golden Child is not a dysfunctional family role but instead describes a relationship that develops between a parent/guardian with npd and one of the children in the family. In these cases, the parent tends to favor the Golden Child because the Golden Child exhibits all the traits the parent loves in themselves. In Splinter and Leo’s case, these characteristics are their devotion to ninjutsu, their general temperaments, and their more spiritual/mystic natures. There are MANY examples of this favoritism in TMNT canon; for example, Splinter teaching Leo his reiki technique (the healing hands) in “the deadly venom” because everyone things Leo is the most capable of learning such an advanced technique (in the episode, Donnie says that he doesn’t think anyone else on the team could’ve done what Leo did, i.e. using the healing hands on himself and saving the others from karai). The parent has a volatile relationship with the Golden Child and often their love is conditional (that is, the parent will favor the Golden Child as long as the Golden Child continues to act like the parent). Because of this, the Golden Child often has trouble establishing an independent identity (see: Raph calling Leo “Splinter Jr.”, though I can’t remember if this happens in 2012 or just in the 2003 version). The Golden Child may also participate in the narcissistic parent’s abuse against the other children in order to protect themself (this is less explicit in canon, but I think that Leo’s leadership style fits this bill)

Raph: The Scapegoat

The Scapegoat is often the second child. As the name suggests, they are often blamed for things that go wrong in the family regardless of whether it was actually their fault or not. Scapegoats are often very aware of their position in the family and as a result they may feel rejected, isolated, and unlovable. I think a good example of Raph feeling like this is the fact that, early in the show, he only openly expresses his emotions to Spike. Scapegoats learn that negative attention is better than no attention (especially from a parent/guardian) and they often engage in high risk behaviors such as sex, drugs, etc. (in Raph’s case, his reckless fighting style and the way he seeks out fights, and this also explains his temper and overall angry demeanor). Because of this, they tend to get into a lot of trouble and are often singled out as the child who needs individual help (aka therapy) even though the root problems lie with the family as a unit. In cases where the parent has npd the Scapegoat is often pitted against the Golden Child. This is called splitting and it is another way to distract from the family’s deeper issues. I feel like I don’t need to explain the way that Leo and Raph are pitted against each other.

Donnie: The Lost Child

The Lost Child, as the name implies, often fades into the background. Usually this is on purpose in an effort to keep themself safe, as they might be scared to draw attention to themself or rock the boat, especially in an abusive household. They may often feel ignored or neglected and are often described as loners who have difficulty developing social skills or self-esteem. Like the Hero, the Lost Child is often used as an example of the family’s stability and success because they aren’t causing trouble. They tend to struggle when forming friendships/romantic relationships, and they are usually praised for not needing a lot of attention/being independent. Because of this, they feel safer when they’re by themselves. Although Donnie does cause trouble sometimes (see: all the times he’s blown some shit up in the lab, the Mutagen man thing, etc.), he’s not seen as the troublemaker. Raph (and Mikey, to a certain extent) definitely takes that title. Donnie is often alone in his lab---working, admittedly, but he still tends to isolate himself, and he is often seen as the most socially awkward of the brothers (see: his relationship with April). There’s also this very interesting exchange from the episode “Enemy of My Enemy” when they’re in the Shellraiser and Leo is about to take the stealth bike to help Karai:

Raph: Hey, the stealth bike’s my thing. Leo: Now your thing is sucking it up. Donnie: Hey! That’s my thing!

Mikey: The Mascot

The Mascot is often the youngest child. They use humor and goofiness to diffuse tension and distract the family from their issues, though when this works, they feel increased pressure to continue to step in when things become tense or volatile. The Mascot acts from a place of anxiety and trauma, and they may have bouts of depression. They also tend to feel as though they cannot express their negative emotions (because they often see themselves as responsible for their family’s happiness). They tend to bend over backwards for people with little regard for their own safety/comfort, and they are drawn to intense and dysfunctional relationships (whether romantic or platonic) where they will be called upon to diffuse tension. This can be seen in the way Mikey approached his friendships with both Bradford (pre-mutation) and Leatherhead. Mikey is also very rarely shown as being sad, angry, or depressed the way that the other three are, and it’s only in times of extreme emotional distress (like the season two finale) where he drops his humor. Even in the midst of tough battles or tough situations, Mikey tends to insert himself into the middle of the tension and is almost constantly cracking jokes or trying to keep things lighthearted. When he does show more negative emotions, it’s in (mostly) one of two ways. One, giving comfort or seeking comfort, usually from Raph (again see the season two finale, where he hugs Raph to calm him down after Splinter “dies” and seeks comfort from Raph in the Party Wagon as they’re driving away from the city). Two, acting combative with Donnie.

Note: Mikey and Donnie acting combative

This second one in particular is really interesting to me because both Donnie and Mikey exhibit a level of comfort/feeling safe with each other that they don’t display with the other two. Mikey only ever gets physical with Donnie (their little slap fight in “Turtle Temper” or attacking him at the end of “The Creeping Doom”), while Donnie only ever purposefully antagonizes Mikey to get a reaction (slapping him in “Turtle Temper”, which prompts the slap fight, or teasingly insulting him at the end of “The Creeping Doom”, which prompts Mikey to attack him). Mikey likes to get under Raph’s skin, but he never retaliates when Raph gets physical with him. Donnie does occasionally argue with Raph and Leo, but usually backs down after Raph threatens him with violence (see “New Girl in Town”), and with Leo it never escalates past a verbal fight (see the season two finale, “the fourfold trap”). Actually, it seems that in Mikey’s and Donnie’s relationship, they take on the roles that you usually see in Raph’s and Mikey’s relationship. Mikey antagonizes Raph and Raph retaliates; similarly, Donnie antagonizes Mikey and Mikey retaliates, but neither of them would act this way toward their other two brothers.

Splinter: The Root of the Dysfunction

I’ve made a lot of allusions by now to Splinter having npd, or at least some narcissistic tendencies. There are many times where he shows favoritism toward Leo or acts in a very stubborn or even self-absorbed manner. In the season one finale, for example, he refuses to help the turtles fight and only leaves the lair after april is kidnapped by the shredder. In “the pulverizer returns”, he makes the turtles switch weapons (for literally no good reason), they almost die in a fight and switch back, and as punishment, he takes their weapons away entirely; this isn’t addressed in the episode, but i do believe that if they’d had their weapons, they could’ve prevented timothy from being mutated in this episode. (Admittedly there are times when he apologizes, admits he’s wrong, and changes his mind, which is why I hesitate to say he exhibits fully narcissistic behaviors). There’s also the physical aspect of their relationship. He’s teaching the turtles ninjutsu, so you can expect a very physical relationship in the form of training, but there are times when he causes the turtles pain for the sake of pain as punishment (e.g. randori, which we see a few times, or when he goes for their pressure points, or when he trips mikey in the episode “monkey brains”, or when he stabs raph with his cane in the episode “turtle temper”, and these are just the examples i can think of off the top of my head). There has been discourse in the fandom about whether these characters (splinter and raph in particular) are abusive, and i don’t want to get into that. However, i think it’s undeniable that splinter raised his kids with the intent to turn them into child soldiers, and also i fully believe that this (plus his parenting style) is the root of the dysfunction in the hamato family.