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sup-hoes-its-me · 4 years ago

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Skinny Love II (Kakashi x Reader)

A/N: second part to skinny love. This is all angst. Very sad. I just watched the pain arc again and had to write something about Kakashi and what happens. Im guessing this could be tagged for spoilers but Naruto is old soooo.

Word count: 5000

“I’m just saying, maybe the second novel is better than the first. You’re free to have your own opinion, that’s just what I think.”

“Well, you’re wrong.”

“Whatever you say,” Y/N laughed, rolling her eyes at the masked man sitting in front of her. She was sipping on a hot bowl of broth after coming home from her most recent mission. It was a nice day out, and she thought it would be a good idea to go out and get something to eat with her favorite shinobi. He was dangerously possessive over his romance novels, and felt immense embarrassment when Y/N decided to pick them up as well.

For a week after finishing the series, she mocked him for liking the gushy, mushy romance that lied on the pages, not to mention the more inappropriate chapters that left nothing to the imagination. Master Jiraiya wasn’t kidding when he said he was doing “research” at the bath house.

“We should go out more often,” he commented, “It’s nice to relax with all this Akatsuki business going on.”

“Definitely. We used to go out like this all the time before you started training those kids,” she hummed. It was true. They had normal outings at that point in time, as the only thing they did was go on missions and then chill at home until the next outing. After Naruto and Sasuke revealed their unique personalities, and got themselves into some sticky situations, the times changed and they spent much more time apart than before. “Not to mention going out with you gives me an excuse to eat whatever I want.”

He nodded in reply, his eyes trailing down to his novel once again which he was skimming over. She didn’t mind him reading at the table. What was he supposed to do? Eat? There was no way he would take off the mask. He was content just giving her company.

His reading gave Y/N an excuse to admire him. Her eyes would lift from the table every time he looked down at the pages, and she would take in all his features. She swore, he was one of the most handsome men she’d ever met, even with the mask. Without a mask, he probably resembled a god. It was nice to just watch as he relaxed into his novel, enjoying himself without any cares in the world.

She liked to talk to him even more. He always knew the right thing to say to make her feel important and wanted, even on her worst of days, he was there to make it better. He was brave and strong, but kind and gentle when need be. His soft words in the late nights they hung out, or his concern when she injured herself, or the happiness the times she made him laugh. Each moment meant so much more to her than he realized.

It was evident to everyone that she had an attachment to him. What kind exactly was the complicated part. While they had been friends for quite a long time, she felt like he was more than just a normal friend or even a best friend. He felt more like a partner than anything, whether it be partner-in-crime or partner-in-love. She loved him with every bone in her body, more than she loved her comrades or her friends, she cared for him like she would a lover.

Maybe it was because she was so shy that she couldn’t tell him how she felt after all this time. Maybe it was fear of rejection. Maybe it was fear of death. She wasn’t sure what held her back from confessing her love to him, spilling all those words she kept under lock and key. She wanted there to be something more, but he’d never let on that he cared for her that way, and surely he would have said something if he did feel that way. It just seemed impossible.

But not to the ordinary person.

People had mentioned in passing to Kakashi that he acted like a lovesick teenager when he was around the woman. She was just so perfect, how could he do anything but adore her. To him, she was one of the only people that truly mattered as more than a fellow shinobi or comrade.

There was no reason to rush it though. If she truly wanted a relationship with him, she would tell him eventually. He wasn’t one to go around throwing out love confessions first. He would wait until she was comfortable and ready. Until then, he would admire her from a distance, through friendly touches and smiles, and dreamy looks when the other wasn’t watching. To him, that was enough.

This lunch outing was the perfect time to waste some hours with her just talking and reading in the others company. The day almost felt too good to be true.

And it was.

First there was the explosion, followed by the screams. Oh, those screams would haunt Y/N’s dreams. Villagers who she’d known growing up screaming in pain. Quickly, she jumped to her feet as did the copy nin. Their eyes frantically looked through the doorway of the restaurant, but there wasn’t anything on their particular street, just dust from the explosion floating down in thick clouds.

“Someone’s attacked the village. Shit,” he cursed under her breath.

They would have to go out there and fight, they both knew that very well. Fight who, they didn’t know, but Y/N could sense that the same foreign chakra signature was coming at her from multiple directions in the village. That couldn’t be good. It was probably that Akatsuki member that everyone was talking about. Pain. Pain with the rinnegan. How could the leaf compete against something as strong as that dojutsu?

“Everybody out! You know the evacuation route,” Y/N called out to the civilians in the restaurant, as she swallowed her panic. She made a move to usher the people from the store so they could run in the direction of refuge.

This wasn’t a normal battle. These intruders were a completely different breed than the ones they were used to fighting. She could feel the impending doom start to blanket around her body, and she took a deep breath. How could this happen? Was Pain here to take Naruto? Naruto wasn’t even in the village, how could that be? Was it the Akatsuki making a big statement attacking one of the five great villages?

There was just something off. She could feel it. Today was going to be one of the worst days, worse than anything else they’d experienced.

“Y/N, let’s go.”

“Kakashi…” she trailed off, not taking a step forward just yet. Was there something she needed to get off her chest before they rushed into a battle with an outcome unknown? As she met his frantic, panicked eyes with her own, she wondered if she should just confess her feelings right then and there, just so he could know before they put their lives on the line.

Never in her life did she think that her or Kakashi might die. It was never a thought that crossed her mind. She assumed she had all the time in the world to gather the courage to tell him. Now it felt like she had run out of time, and they might never get the chance to see each other again. The chakra signatures around them were just too strong to guarantee they would live against their blows. It felt like this was her final chance.

She started again, “Kakashi, I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?” he asked, wanting to hurry this along. She could see plainly that this wasn’t the right time. He wasn’t in the right mind to hear her words, or comprehend the meaning behind them. Instead, she lowered her head and sighed.

And so she kept that secret tightly bound deep in her heart.

“Nevermind, it’s not important. Just be safe out there. Make it back to me in one piece, okay?”

“You know I can’t promise that,” he replied, and her heart sank in her chest. He was right. If he died, he died. If she died, she died. Nothing could stop fate from doing its dirty work.

“Just promise me. Give me some confidence before we jump into this mess. I-I can’t do this without you promising me you’ll live!” She cried, passion and fear dripping off her words. She had her eyes shut tightly at this point, just trying to keep herself from letting the potential tears gather in her eyes. Her fists clenched by her side as well. “Just say something!”

He nodded, thinking of the right words to say. “I promise I’ll make it back to you, Y/N. Now promise you’ll live. For me,” he demanded, lifting her head to face him. His fingers were strong against her cheek, firm when faced with danger. He wanted her to live, but knowing that Pain killed Jiraiya was enough to make him worry and plan for the worst.

Why was he even asking? He knew that words meant nothing. That most promises were just bound to be empty.

Just this one time, he prayed that she’d keep it.

“I promise.”

“Now let’s go. I’ll take this side, and you go that way. Sounds like explosions came from both directions.”

“Got it.”

There was no room for goodbyes.

After that, they went their separate ways. Y/N had to keep herself from losing control. Everything was going to be okay. She was worrying far too much. Kakashi was strong. Stronger than anyone else she knew really. He couldn’t be taken down by some terrorists. It wasn’t an option.

As long as she could sense his chakra lingering in the distance, she would know.

__________

It was painful, the wound that tore through her thigh. Blood dripped thickly from the cut, but she continued to fight. In this situation, there was nothing else to do, nothing more to fight for than the safety of the village and the people within it. Y/N has never seen a villain this bad, someone so dead set on killing and tormenting that it brought the shinobi of the village to their knees. Yet, here he was, this orange haired creature who popped up at multiple points of their city, each with a different signature move yet a similar chakra pattern.

Y/N knew she couldn’t break down just yet, not after seeing comrade after comrade fall to the ground and lose their lives to the cause. She had to keep going for them. For her friends and her family who died. She was never the most talented at fighting, she was more of a sensory type, stay on the inside and study type of kunoichi. But not today. No one had that luxury today.

Constantly, she could feel the loss of the ninja alongside her, their chakra signatures melting into nothing as blasts continued to ravage their village. The fire within their bodies burned for the last time, disappearing into the ashes.

It wasn’t until she was on her knees, face buried in the dirt and rubble did she really feel the pain this man was so desperate to bestow upon the villagers. Kakashi’s chakra had burned out. It was as if her body gave up after that. She couldn’t move, her bones were broken and she couldn’t afford to stand and fall back down once again, believe it that she tried over and over again. Nothing mattered at this point. How could it? She couldn’t feel her best friend’s chakra signature any longer. He was dead.

Her crying into the dirt was the only thing that signalled another shinobi to come and help her to the infirmary. Someone she barely knew had picked her up by the arm and hoisted it over his shoulder, dragging her by his side to the hospital where the medical nin were no doubt working harder than ever. Her whole body felt like it was caked in bloody crimson mud, dust up her nose and muk between her teeth.

Everything just made her cry harder and harder until she felt she was gasping to breathe.

The harsh lights in the building did nothing but sting her eyes, and the dozens of medical nin rushing around those lying on the floor overwhelmed her.

Sakura stood at the front of all the mess, and her eyes immediately caught onto Y/N and her rescuer. “Y/N-sensei, what happened to you?” she cried, rushing over with her frantic hands hovering over the state of the broken woman as she scanned for the wounds. This only caused more sobbing.

“One second she was fine, the next she was lying in the dirt screaming. I don’t know,” the man said, handing her off to the pink haired girl. “She’s got broken legs, I know that.”

“Thank you for bringing her,” she mumbled as she brought her sensei over to an empty cot, sitting her down on the cloth and beginning the healing process on the worst part of her leg where the bone was exposed. She was shaking so badly it was almost hard to concentrate on her work. She’d never seen Y/N so hopeless and lost. She was strong, she never faltered in the face of danger. It worried Sakura, no doubt.

“Sensei, what happened?”

“It’s Kakashi,” the woman croaked between her harsh breaths. “I-I can’t feel his chakra anymore.” Tears ran down her cheeks furiously, dripping from her chin into her lap. She felt the hopelessness overtake her entire person, the only thing left being complete and utter fear. Her chest heaved, desperate for the next gulp of air into her lungs.

Sakura nearly faltered at the words. Kakashi sensei, dead? How could that be? He was one of the strongest shinobi they knew. He would never fall victim to a villain, would he? From the sounds of Y/N’s heartbroken cries, the medical nin knew that it was over. That another life had been stolen from them.

Kakashi was Y/N’s heart and soul. She loved him for years and planned to love him for many more. Everyone knew that. Kakashi and her may have never acknowledged their feelings before his death, but the skinny love lingered in the air every time they were around each other.

The longing looks when they passed each other in the street. The pain they felt when the other was hurt. The smiles they shared when something good happened in their no-good shinobi lives. They were more than willing to lay their lives on the line for the other, more than just a comrade, more than a friend.

Her passion for Kakashi was the only good thing she had to come home to after missions. His face was the one thing she wanted to see after a bad day. His stupid face as he read his perverted novels, that grin that she positively adored.

All of that was gone, and her heart couldn’t take it. The pain from her injuries sat in the back of her mind, the only thing she could focus on was the loss. Knowing she would never see him again, never hear his voice. If only she could hear him laugh one more time. It was impossible, but she wished to the heavens above for mercy.

Sadly, no one was there to listen.

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” Sakura whispered, not knowing what else to say. What could she say?

“I need him. I can’t do this without him,” she sobbed, her hands shaking by her side, having to clench her fists just to stop the tremors. “Sakura, it’s been 15 years. I...I don’t know a life without him.”

Her heart broke at the words. It was true. She didn’t know life anymore without Kakashi. They’d been friends and comrades for so long that it seemed like that was all she knew. How can you come back from that? Sakura didn’t know. She might be able to heal the woman’s legs, but there was no way she could begin to heal such a broken heart.

“It’s okay. You have plenty of others. You have Gai and Kurenai and-”

“Fuck everyone else. You know they can’t replace him,” she snapped. “No one can replace him.”

Sakura could only nod solemnly. They could lie all day and pretend that Gai would somehow swoop in and make up for that gaping hole in her heart. They could lie and say that Kurenai and her child would fill Y/N with a happiness she felt with Kakashi. Yes, they could certainly lie about it all.

At the end of the day though, her pain would be unrivalled. Losing the one man you’ve loved from the moon and back. It would take an entire army and then some to combat such a struggle.

When Sakura was done healing the woman, she handed her a roll of bandages from her pocket. “I’ve got to tend to others. Wrap this around your calf and then stay here to rest. Please, just rest yourself, sensei. You’ll heal faster that way.” Y/N took the bandages and nodded her head weakly, shaky hands going to wrap her bare and burned calf with the medical bandages.

Her mind still centered around Kakashi. She found herself curling up into a ball on the little bench she was sat at, hugging her knees close to her chest. She just cried. Right now, she couldn’t do anything else.

Just cry.

________

The village was in complete and utter ruin. Y/N lay painfully utop a mountain of rubble, blood oozing from the back of her head and from her already injured leg. Pain’s final attack, one that completely demolished the village...it spared her life.

How could things get any fucking worse?

She felt like the Gods were being especially cruel to her on this day. Especially cruel to every single person in the village, but they kept Y/N alive for their own personal amusement, laughing at her loss and her pain and her frustration.

Despite Lady Tsunade sending out Katsuyu to protect the villagers, Y/N only seemed to be in worse shape than before. She could feel the slug on her shoulder slowly healing her, but it wasn’t much compared to the pain and the numerous injuries.

Y/N rolled onto her side and groaned, pain shooting up her spine and giving her a brain-shattering headache. When she went to cough on something thick and slimy in her throat, what splattered on the ground was red. Maybe she was just meant to die slow and painfully.

It was better this way, she decided. Nothing could make this day worth it. Nothing. The pain was unbearable.

“Y/N? Is that you?” a feminine voice called from a little while away, and the woman cursed, spitting up more blood as she did so. Sakura climbed through some of the rubble to approach her. Her hands hovered over the woman’s broken body, scanning over all her wounds.

Naruto was down there fighting Pain. Everything was going to be okay as long as they had faith in the Uzumaki. Sakura could focus a bit of her energy on healing her sensei. There was nothing else to do except watch the fight below them, in the center of the wasteland that used to be the Hidden Leaf.

She began the healing process, medical chakra flowing into the woman’s chest wounds, the most critical of all. “Sakura…”

“What is it, Y/N?”

“What’s happening? Is everyone dead?”

“No, everyone is alive. Lady Tsunade sent out Katsuyu to protect everyone. It seems that you were injured before your healing slug could get to you. Thankfully, you have both of us to fix you up,” she muttered. Y/N would have been blind to not notice the way Sakura stared past her deeper into the wreckage as she spoke.

“What do you see?” she asked quietly, as loud as her body could muster.

“It’s Naruto. He’s out there fighting Pain alone,” she said, “He-he’s gotten so much stronger.”

The older woman smiled through her pain, shutting her eyes and letting a soft sigh leave her lips. She hadn’t anticipated Naruto to come saving the day, in fact, it seemed more likely that Pain would kill everyone and leave the village in ruin. Fortunately, Kakashi’s student, the one that people had underestimated for so long, was out there doing what the rest of them couldn’t.

A hero. No matter if he won or not, these are the actions of a hero.

“It’s his destiny: to save this village,” she whispered. “Jiraiya once said so.”

“Let’s hope he was right.”

Together they lay there in the middle of ruin while Naruto battled Pain. They watched as the two men launched themselves away from the village into the woods, the nine tailed fox coming to life far away from where they huddled together. The village was safe from direct harm at this point and the two women let down their guard just a little bit. Down in the middle of the pit some of the students started to gather, including a heavily injured Hinata.

“Help me down there, Sakura. I need to see Gai,” she said, louder than before. After all that time healing, she found herself strong enough to prop up on her elbows and gaze into the destruction.

Once down there, Sakura was quick to start healing Hinata, fearing that the girl had taken too much damage to handle. After all, she charged against Pain, the supposedly leader of this terrorist attack. All of that to help out young Naruto. Y/N felt like she was staring at an image of herself for a moment. A young woman ready to sacrifice it all for the sake of the man she loved.

As her eyes moved around the area, she caught onto the bright green outfit of her long time friend. His eyes caught hers for a moment and quickly, he rushed over to her side. She collapsed onto her knees, wincing at the pain that ran through her body as she did so. She found herself still a bit too weak to stand.

“Y/N, you’re alive,” he gasped. He knelt on the ground beside her and placed a firm hand on her shoulder, steadying her shaky form. “Your injuries-”

“Forget about that, Gai,” she mumbled. “Something terrible has happened.” He couldn’t imagine what she had to say could be any worse than the destruction of the entire village. But he nodded and sat there listening as she spoke her words carefully, painfully with each syllable that left her lips. “Kakashi is dead.”

He felt his heart drop in his chest. As he looked at the woman before him, he knew that she wanted nothing more to cry, yet there were no tears. He assumed that she had already cried her fill earlier and could only mourn at this point. He didn’t ask before wrapping her smaller form up in his arms and tugging her to his chest, burying his nose in her hair. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her face into his shoulder, dry sobs causing her entire form to quiver.

In a moment like this one, he just remained still for her. Sit there and be there through this pain. He felt crushed at the thought of his best friend dead, his eternal rival somewhere out there in all that rubble fatally injured. Gai had lost a brother that day, and Y/N had lost her one and only lover.

He listened as she hopelessly bawled in the comfort of his arms, feeling every bit of her pain sink into his form. They had gone through battles together before, they grew up teammates and friends, how could they not. They had seen death and pain all their lives. This was on another level, incomprehensible to either of them.

Pure misery. Every emotion seemed to burn in her chest. She wanted to curl up and die herself.

________

It felt like hours went by before the lives were returned. She hadn’t thought much of it when the elderly Toad woke up from his eternal slumber. For a moment, she thought it was just a fluke. That he had never really died in the first place, they just thought he did. But then, she watched as people above the trench started to stand from their resting places on the ground and in the rubble.

That is when she realized that somehow, someway, the lives lost during this terrible battle had been reclaimed. It was only a matter of time before she found out if Kakashi had come back to life as well. She sat there, focusing all her energy into sensing nearby chakra, sorting through hundreds of people for the one she wanted.

Gai had left to help out some of the others, so she just sat there waiting. Waiting for Kakashi to come back to her. Just like he promised.

After all this chaos, she couldn’t imagine keeping her love a secret from him any longer. He needed to know. She wouldn’t let this opportunity go wasted. Y/N was given a second chance at finding love in her friend, and she would be damned if she let that go to waste.

After a while, she began to feel his chakra. At first it was very faint, like he was a mile away hidden underneath rocks and everything else you could imagine. But then it got stronger.

He was alive.

When she saw his form climb down into the pit with the rest of them, his mask torn and only the bottom layer of his clothes still intact, she nearly cried once again. For hours before this, she was prepared to never see him alive again, never see that masked face look down upon hers once more. She had mourned the loss of Kakashi Hatake, only for him to be returned.

It was as if the God’s had listened to her prayers.

“Kakashi!” she exclaimed as she struggled to get herself up from the ground. She knelt on one knee, pushing herself up with the other, desperate to walk over to him. Her body failed her of course, and she fell back onto her butt. He noticed her though, her tiny figure in the crowd of hundreds. She was the one person he wanted to find all along.

He fell onto his knees beside her, his hands coming up to grasp her cheeks with his dusty, calloused hands. She relaxed into his rough fingers, sinking into the warmth that he was sharing. His thumbs slid along her lips and chin, trying to rub away the dirt that was caked in some places. She was a mess, messier than he was. He could only imagine the suffering that she went through as well, to have survived all of that without death as a retreat in the middle.

“Y/N, what happened to you?”

“Pain’s final blow caused some pretty bad wounds, but it’s fine. Sakura healed me enough that I’ll make it through,” she told him. Softly, she lifted her hands to place them over top his, her fingers slowly wrapping around his. “Kakashi, you broke your promise to me.”

“I know.”

She found that the words came out faster than she anticipated. Emotions and feelings being laid out in the open for him to see/ “I-I completely lost myself when I couldn’t feel your chakra anymore. I thought I’d lost you. I couldn’t stop crying, and I was angry at you for breaking your promise to me,” she rambled, “I didn’t know what I was gonna do without you.”

“It’s alright. I’m here now. Whatever Naruto has done saved my life,” he soothed, letting their hands fall into her lap. She wouldn’t let go of his hands even if he wanted them to himself. She was afraid. Afraid that if she let him go once more that he would be gone forever. “And I’m sorry I lied to you. I really shouldn’t have died like that. So irresponsible of me.”

There he was cracking a fucking joke about his own death. She wanted to smack him for being so dimwitted in a moment of vulnerability. Just the thought of being with him again made tears spring up in her eyes, and she shut her eyes to keep them from falling. Happy tears or not, she wasn’t going to cry again.

“I need to tell you what I was too afraid to say before. What I wanted to say before we went our separate ways,” she confessed, her breaths coming out harsh and rushed. Once again, she gripped his hands tighter in hers.

After taking a couple breaths, she lifted her eyes to meet his, mouth just agape. He really was all she could ever need. This moment wasn’t perfect, and it wasn’t ideal, but it was just right for what she needed to say. “I’ve always loved you, Kakashi.”

“Y/N-”

“Listen, I know it’s not exactly an appropriate time to be confessing my love to you and all, but I couldn’t risk another day going by without telling you.”

“I love you, too.”

And silence.

There wasn’t anything else to say. The love was mutual, it had been all this time. They just took their time getting around to admitting it, to just hear those words leave the other’s lips for the first time. There were no butterflies in her stomach nor did her heart race in her chest at his confession.

She could only feel comfort in the umbrella they’d created for themselves, the outside world lost to the both of them.

In a flash, she lurched forward to wrap her arms tightly around his neck, burying her face deep into his neck. “Don’t die ever again, Hatake, or I’ll kick your ass,” she laughed, the sound of her laugh reaching his ear. He held her to his chest and sighed.

“No promises.”

Despite what happened that day, he felt comfortable. For the first time, in a very long time, he felt relief wash over him. Everything was going to be okay.

“Kakashi!”

Requests Are Open!

#kakashi x reader #kakashi imagine #kakashi oneshot #kakashi hatake #kakashi hatake x reader #naruto x reader #naruto one shot #naruto imagines #naruto #naruto shippuden #one shot #x reader #writing #hope you guys like this one ill be back with either a new kakashi fic or a shikamaru fic soon

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errthel · 3 years ago

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Argghh havent done this stuff in a looooooonnngggg whileee BUT this chapter got me feeling a bit more hyped cuz honestly after seeing buddha and 2 hundo million versions of the seven lucky gods duke it out for soooo long im sorta happy it was done akk.

record of ragnarock chapter 56 lezzzgoo

a n y w a y s chapter 56 of Record of Ragnarock, legit thought that Qin would volund in the next chapter chz the chapter was halved where i read it haha, but lets get onnnnnn to stuff i find really nice, neat, cool, somewhat interesting about this chapter ehe

So this page

mhmnmmm notice anything?

this page is supposed to symbolize allllll the emperors/leaders of china helping qin shi huang anddddd you can seeee on the left side of the page just above liu che a female leader, an emperess, which i am 9999999999% sure is wu ze tian but that's about all my brain sees

but also why the hell does liu bang have like disney worthy eyes in that page??? very curious, its like ethan becker with his disney princess eyes behind the american flag glasses he insists on wearing to look cool or something-

a bit of a backtrack but goddamit qin shi huang is such a child especially in this page. its cute in manga but if this was a real life person they better get ready for,,,

one less person to show attention on them cuz i am not brave enough to slap someone to the next 2230 years like every mother in the world but i would say that i am sensible enough to disappear from their lives

a- anyways-

goddammit hades (the sugar daddy every depressed person needs)

he's basically cut from the same cloth as posiedon, wonder what happened to adamas, or zeus for the same thought eughh

but the hair aint cutting it

lemme

explain (e x p o s e) myself

i am a certified poseidon simp

now, now, everybody quiet down, i know that he is an asshole and is very much the definition of a psychopath if mental setbacks are present in gods as well (definitely sure they are in this manga), i very much understand that my attraction to poseidon is only on the physical level but i very much am still o k a y ? ? ? poseidon simps i know you guys are with me-

anyways back to the actual manga detail review thing (i dont even know anymore)

As much as i publically simp on hades and how much i talk about him, qin shi huang drew the fucking bow of cupid and shot me straight square in my chest when i first saw him in his wikipedia page

look at him

now look at me, tell me with a straight face that he isn't conventionally attractive with also very attractive clothing, see you c a n t. this mans shoulders are also toned ouahuha, damn am i some 1700s man who thinks ankles and shoulders are the hottest bodypart? because i feel like i am-

i would very much like him to win this round and not d i e, p e r i s h, g o b y e b y e, o r b e O B L I D E R A T E D (jesus i would die of embarrassment if qin died in too little of a number of chapters after the full on arc of buddha vs. zero cjsksn)

he's so fucking p r e t t y god

but with how the rythm is going its also very certain hades is gonna win sighhhh

but that is the end of this thing thank you all for reading this excerpt of trying to keep myself sane during projects and stuff byeeeee

#qin shi huang makes me feel complete #hades also makes me feel complete #this is a segway into the polyamory fic you never asked for and probably never need #record of ragnarok #shuumatsu no valkyrie #rorspoilers #erthel ventures the interwebs #i have awakened from having to endure buddha vs zero i hope everyone's ready

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madeofsplinters · 4 years ago

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for the symbols ask, would you mind all of them that you havent yet done for vader? you have very good opinions on him and i would like to hear them

Aw, thank you! Although man that is A LOT of Vader headcanons left to do :D But I like writing random stuff about him, soooo... Sad:

Vader still remembers all the Jedi younglings' names.

Angry/Violent:

I mean, what in Darth Vader's life *isn't* angry/violent? Lol. The particular way that he uses the Dark Side produces a really fucked up feedback loop: he's angry and in various forms of pain all the time, which produces an energy he can channel into violence, which produces self-hate and further pain, which produces more energy. Lather, rinse, repeat.

A lot of Palpatine's work with Vader is simply about managing this loop and adjusting as necessary. Giving him enough outlets for his rage that he doesn't just combust where he stands and start breaking things he isn't supposed to; tormenting him enough, and giving him the tools to self-torment, so that it never quite subsides into peace.

This isn't the only way of using the Dark Side, but it's a common one for Sith warriors; both Maul and Kylo Ren use something similar.

Sex:

Disabled people can, too have sex - it just takes a little more creativity. Vader has plenty of creativity, as well as magic super powers. If he doesn't indulge in such things - which, honestly, in canon he probably doesn't - then it's due to psychological factors: a conservative upbringing and ascetic lifestyle, unresolved grief for his wife, self-hate, depression, not wanting to let anyone in that close, etc.

Anyways if I see one more "BuT hIs DiCk DoEsN't WoRk" post here on Tumblr dot com, as if that body part is all that sex boils down to, I may actually scream.

Living Quarters:

When he's meditating in his stupid lava fortress, Vader senses the Dark Side nexus underneath him as if it's a living being, a kind of elemental lava spirit. Sometimes he talks to it in his head. (Is it "really talking" back to him? Is he just carrying out a strange symbolic drama in his own head? Don't ask - if you don't intuitively understand how a spiritual experience can be both these things at once, then you're not on Darth Vader's level.)

His favorite thing about the lava river is that it isn't Palpatine. Vader of all people knows how destructive lava is, but lava is direct and straightforward. It doesn't lie to him. It doesn't play games on purpose just to jerk him around. It just flows on and burns what's in its path, and there are days when Vader finds that both relatable and soothing.

Romantic:

Vader has a weakness for partners who are older than him, brave, smart, outwardly stable (the insides may vary), have a cute accent and strong negotiation and leadership skills, feed him attention in measured amounts, and are convinced they know better than him about everything. Padmé and Tarkin (and Obi-Wan, for that matter) all fit this type...

Friendship:

I mean, Vader doesn't really have friends, though. He is capable of forming really intense attachments to a few specific people, and tolerating others because of their competence, but anything in between those ends of the spectrum? Doesn't really compute. Vader does not chill or hang out or make pleasant conversation, not a lot of room for friends here.

Even as Anakin, he was a little like this. It was harder to tell, because his social circle was a lot bigger then - there were way more people in the "would die for them" circle, and way more who he went out of his way to be nice to, even if they weren't exactly close. But all of these social relationships involve some kind of power relation. Anakin has masters and fellow generals and an apprentice; he has favorite loyal troops and a favorite droid; he has a Supreme Chancellor who is being very nice to him for some reason. These are all people he works with, or who want something from him; he doesn't really have anyone he hangs out with just for the sake of hanging out with them. Padmé is the closest he gets to that, and even with her, he’s acting out a romantic role in the way that he thinks is expected of him so that he’ll deserve her love. (And doing a bad job of it, because Anakin is awkward, but never mind.)

Anakin has a huge heart and many attachments, don't get me wrong. But I don't think he's ever fully grasped the idea of a social connection that doesn't revolve around one of the people involved being useful to the other.

Quirks/Hobbies:

(I already did a “workshop/tinkering” one, so here’s a “flying” one...)

Vader's special experimental prototype TIE fighter is in constant need of repairs because of how recklessly he flies. It's not even that he crashes into things - it's just wear and tear because you're not actually supposed to yank the throttle that hard every damn time you turn the ship, Lord Vader, seriously how are you not passing out from those g-forces.

Vader is genuinely confused why the techs keep complaining. Podracers are used to having to rebuild their entire pod after every race. By that standard, he's doing great.

Childhood:

Tiny little bb Anakin wasn't actually any angrier than normal, at least by the standards of traumatized child slaves. Like, he was about at par. There were plenty of angrier ones. You couldn't have looked at him, in comparison to the other child slaves doing similar jobs in Mos Espa, and said "oh yeah that one in particular is gonna have anger and attachment issues."

He did stand out from the other kids, though, on account of just being a weird little nerd. He built a whole droid and a racing pod by himself and his master didn't even make him do it! He keeps talking about how he's going to be a Jedi and fly all around the galaxy and save the planet and marry a queen, when everybody knows there are at least three good reasons why that's wrong. He thinks random customers who come into his shop are his new friends! Anakin is just... weird. Off in his own little world. The other local slave kids know not to be too mean to him because he will always help you out in a pinch, and he is really good with machines, but other than that, I dunno, would you wanna hang out with Mr. I’m Gonna Be A Special Jedi?

Shmi sees this dynamic happening, but there's not much she can do, except to give Anakin all the love and reassurance that she wishes he was getting from his peers.

Cooking/Food:

Idk the Wookieepedia says that Vader can eat nutrient paste out of a straw in his mask if he wants to, but he doesn't want to because it tastes awful. So my questions here are (a) considering everything else they have to do, how can the suit's recesses possibly fit enough nutrient paste inside them for Vader's needs, and (b) seriously we're how many years in the future and we can't even make a nutrient paste that tastes good? We haven't even hit on "bland"? For the Emperor's chief enforcer, whose personal care budget is virtually unlimited? Yeah no, I'm calling canon error on this one. He can't eat, or it's too much trouble to get food into him with the other life support, so he's tube-fed. That's my headcanon.

Appearance:

Vader is very muscular. (This isn't really a "head"canon? He's literally played by a bodybuilder? But some fans disagree, so, eh.) He was already tall and strong when he was Anakin, but the suit adds height and it adds a LOT of extra weight that he has to be able to carry around with him literally every time he moves.

His recovery process after Revenge of the Sith involved having to learn how to move again, with new prosthetic limbs and horrifying new chronic injuries, basically from the ground up, and having to do it well enough that he could sword-fight Jedi Masters to the death, and he had to put on a ton of muscle in order to do that.

Palpatine was very strict in the nutrition and exercise regimes he imposed for this purpose. I have a sneaking suspicion that steroids were also involved.

#darth vader

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auroreswritings · 5 years ago

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Aaaaaaaand here comes the last entry for the Dazatsu Halloween event! It’s a little late because life, and stuff, you know, but it’s finally done! Hope you like it, it’s a light piece to finish the week on a cute note! (Can you tell I’m a big scaredy-cat and just CANNOT DEAL with horror stuff? haha)

I would like to thank the mods who made this event possible, Cherish, Datura and Mango, thank you soooo much, I had so much fun writing all these stories! It got me out of my writing comfoort zone and made me explore genres or themes I probably wouldn’t have explored on my own. Thank you!!

Now that I’m done, I’ll be reading through all the other works submitted and enjoy eveyone’s hard work!

Find this on A03.

Demon in the Dark

The Armed Detective Agency was as busy as ever, but for once, the detectives were not drowning in paperwork. Halloween was approaching and they had decided to host a costume party. All the staff was invited of course, as well as notable clients and other officials who had worked with the agency before. The office had been entirely decorated for the occasion, ghosts and bats hanging here and there, pumpkins and spiders adorning desks and walls; even a bloody trail had been drawn on the floor of the corridor, leading the way from the elevator to the office’s door. As evening was approaching, the detectives were making sure it was all perfect, dusting a shelf here and there or adjusting a decoration on a desk. Food and drinks would be served at the arrival of the first guests. They had spent the day cooking and baking, preparing all sorts of savory and sweet appetizers and cookies: pumpkin tarts, tiny spider-shaped rice balls, cupcakes topped with orange or white buttercream, cinnamon-flavored ghost cookies and other deliciously evil dishes were patiently waiting to be eaten. Several cocktails, with and without alcohol, had been mixed up, ready to be served in massive punch bowls. Some even had lychees filled with cherries floating in them, mimicking a soup made of eyes floating in blood.

All the detectives had dressed up with their best costumes: Kunikida had put extra care in his vampire costume, even bringing a huge coffin to the office, Kyouka was posing as a puppet master, walking around with a stuffed rabbit wearing a dress similar to hers, Rampo was dressed as a witch, massive bag of candies attached to his broom, the Tanizaki siblings were impersonating the monster of Frankenstein and its wife, Yosano was a spider queen, black dress gracefully undulating around her, Kenji had a forest spirit costume on, with moss and leaves hanging from his little antlers, Dazai was wearing the long cape of a reaper and swinging around a giant scythe, and Atsushi had become a mummy, bandages usually reserved for Dazai now dangling around him, sometimes dangerously getting caught around his feet. Even Fukuzawa had dressed up, impersonating what looked like a vampire hunter, having traded his usual kimono for a more Western-looking outfit.

The first guests arrived with nightfall, and soon the office was filled with animated conversations, loud laughter and the sound of clinging glasses. Music was playing in the background, keeping all the costumed guests entertained. Candles had been put around, giving the room a somehow mystic atmosphere despite the electric lights shining above heads. Most of the detectives were delighting the guests with conversations of past cases. Most of them, because Atsushi was just awkwardly standing in a corner, not really sure how to approach the important people filling up the room. As he was new to the agency, he didn’t have much to talk about and was a little intimidated by the fantastic stories his colleagues were narrating. Kenji, who had noticed him from the buffet, approached him with a sweet smile.

“-Atsushi, why are you alone here? You should go and talk to people, it will be fun!

-But I don’t know what to tell them!

-Don’t worry about it. You can just join in one of the others’ conversations, I’m sure you will find some interesting things to say!” The teenager tried to reassure him, pointing to a small crowd that had gathered around Dazai.

Taking the hint, Atsushi left his corner and walked to his mentor, who was extravagantly retelling their last investigation, clearly including exaggerated details here and there. His scythe was only adding to the dramatic effects in his storytelling. The people around him were holding their breath, hanging to his every words, relishing in the nerve wrecking stories. Atsushi blended in the group, amused by Dazai’s manners. The older man’s gaze fell on him, and with a wide flailing of his arms, he wrapped himself around the tiger, continuing his story.

“-Atsushi! This young kid, here! He was so brave! Oh, you should have seen it, my belladonna!” he reached for one of the women’s hand, who blushed and giggled at the gesture, “He ran to the villain head on, not caring for anything else but MY LIFE, and tackled him to the floor, restraining his moves so he couldn’t touch me anymore. I wouldn’t be here to tell this story if it wasn’t for him!” He rubbed his knuckles against the weretiger’s head, ruffling his hair playfully.

The young man didn’t remember any of these things but he smiled as people were praising him, humbly accepting the kind words. Dazai kept with his tale, sometimes coaxing Atsushi into agreeing to a weird detail here and there, although most of them were obvious lies. The tiger was slowly getting more comfortable with the crowd, easing up into his own conversations. Dazai was glancing at him from time to time, happy to see his junior gaining confidence.

Suddenly, the lights flickered a couple times. A few people around the room joked about a ghost or spirit roaming the building, others were laughing nervously. Atsushi looked around, a little anxious. Nothing happened in the following minutes, and everybody went back to what they were doing. The tiger, still tensed, engaged in a conversation with a client he had met a few months back. After about ten minutes however, the lights turned off completely. The only light left was the ominous glow of the candles casting long shadows against the walls. Silence had fallen around the room, people not daring to make too much noise. A few nervous whispers were running around the crowd.

“-I will check the electricity panel, everyone stay put!” Kunikida’s voice flew up from a corner of the office, and soon he passed through the crowd with a candle in his hand, walking out the find the source of the problem.

Atsushi could feel his nervousness grow. As much as he liked Halloween and other spooky things, it still made him a little jittery to think about ghosts and haunting spirits. He suddenly felt a cold breeze blowing against his neck. A high pitched shriek escaped him before he could stop it.

“-Aren’t you a little jumpy, my dear Atsushi?” Dazai voice was whispering right in his ear; the weretiger could sense the mocking smirk gracing the man’s face.

“-D-D-Dazai! That’s not funny!” Atsushi rubbed his neck, trying to erase the uncomfortable feeling creeping up his skin.

“-But I find it extremely amusing.” His voice was teasing, tone a little darker than usual.

Atsushi’s body stiffed at the words. Dazai was up to something, and he was going to be his victim, he was sure of it. Just as the thought crossed his mind, he felt the man’s hands on his shoulders, making him jump a little. Dazai’s fingers were trailing up to Atsushi’s throat, tugging at the bandages. As he was about to rebuke his mentor, the lights turned on again, blinding everybody around. The weight of Dazai’s hands lifted from his shoulders, and he clearly heard a frustrated sight behind him. Turning around, he saw his mentor running towards the tall blond who was entering the office again.

“-Kunikida! You saved us! I was so scared; I thought a demon was going to attack me in the dark!

-Shut it, Dazai!”

Atsushi couldn’t help but scoff at the remark. A demon in the dark, he was one to talk! The party went back in full swing. The tiger tried to forget about Dazai and immersed himself in the festive atmosphere again, enjoying the food and entertaining the guests.

Eventually, as night progressed, the office emptied out, people returning home after having enjoyed the thrilling stories and filled their bellies to the brim. Soon enough, only the detectives were left, a little drained from all the socializing. Kenji and Kyouka had fallen asleep on the sofa, Rampo was sprawling on a chair, rubbing his candy-filled stomach. The siblings had just left and Kunikida was already clearing up his desk, while Yosano and Fukuzawa were putting the remaining food and drinks away in the fridge. Dazai was sitting at his desk, lost in thoughts and Atsushi was nibbling on one of the last cookies he had found. Everybody had fun and clients and officials had assured they would ask for the agency’s services in the future when needed. It had been a successful night.

The detectives eventually left the building, leaving Atsushi to close everything. He had stayed behind to swipe the floor a little; they would have a big cleaning day tomorrow, but he had still wanted to get most of the crumbs away before leaving to avoid having any crawling visitors during the night. After he was done with his broom, he checked around the office one last time to make sure no food had been left behind and turned the lights off. As he was about to close the door, a strange noise made his whole body tense. All his senses were alert. A soft scratching sound was resonating through the corridor, as though mice were digging their way through a wall. Atsushi tried to ignore it and closed the office entrance. He put the key in its hole and as he turned it, the sound intensified, getting closer to him. Loud steps were now resonating through the hall as well. Atsushi took a step away from the door as silently as possible. His heart was beating uncontrollably, filling his ears with its frantic pumping. He raised a hand to his chest, clutching the bandages of his costume, hoping whatever was in the room wouldn’t hear the fear inside of him. A small whisper suddenly echoed:

“-Atsushi! I know what you’ve done!” The tiger jumped at the sound. What had he done? His heart started pumping faster, his breathing getting shallower. He tried to reach the elevator, the only light helping him the faint one of the emergency exit sign. The scratching intensified, and the voice started again:

“-Atsushiiiiii! I know what happened! You will be punished for your wrong doing!” Fear made Atsushi’s legs a little wobbly, and as he tried to step back some more, his feet got caught in one of the dangling bandages and he fell back to the floor. He let out a small cry, pain and panic mixing together in his voice. He crawled back a little but was soon stopped by something pulling at the bandages around his legs. The voice, louder than earlier, rose through the air once more, sending horrible shivers down Atsushi’s spine:

“-Atsushi! You have abandoned me! You will pay for this!” The poor man’s mind was filling up with incoherent thoughts, trying to understand what was happening.

He tried to crawl back again but his legs were still stuck. Was he going to die here tonight? As the dreadful thought took over his mind, the lights went on, revealing the tall silhouette of the Reaper standing in front of him, large scythe glistening under the electric light. A loud scream escaped Atsushi’s lips. This was it, this was the end. A sudden clear, happy laugh filled the corridor, stunning Atsushi for a second. The Reaper took its hoodie off, revealing a cackling Dazai, tears almost running from his eyes. Realization soon hit the weretiger and he tried to get up without success, bandages still stuck under his mentor’s feet.

“-Dazai! Stop it already, this is not funny! I was so scared!” The man moved away from him, freeing his legs, but kept on laughing, unable to stop himself.

“-A-A-Atsushi! You should have seen yo-your face!” he managed to let out between giggles.

The younger man huffed, his heart and breathing slowly coming back to normal. Now that fear had washed out of him, he was slowly getting pissed. He couldn’t believe Dazai had played such a trick on him. He knew the man had something planned, but still, this was actually pretty mean. Atsushi gave an annoyed look to his mentor and turned around, deciding to take the stairs instead of the elevator. As he stomped down, he heard Dazai call his name. He didn’t stop until he reached the door downstairs. Running steps were coming towards him.

“-Atsushi, wait!” Dazai quickly reached him and stopped him from opening the front door. “I probably shouldn’t have gone all out like this, but you’re so cute when you’re scared. It’s Halloween after all, I just wanted to mess with you a little.

-I know, Dazai, but still, that was mean! I can’t believe you waited for me just pull this out!” Atsushi turned around to face him, accusing look in his eyes.

“-Actually, I didn’t really wait for you, you almost locked me in the building.” A smirk appeared on his face.

“-Wait, is that what you meant by ‘abandoning you’? Seriously…” Atsushi let out an exasperated sigh, hints of a smile tugging at his lips. He couldn’t remember seeing Dazai leave but hadn’t seen him in a while so he obviously concluded the man had left and was going to close the front door without checking the toilets or anything, which would have successfully locked the man in for the night. He looked up at Dazai, his mischievous look infecting him right away and making him smile back.

“-Okay, maybe I deserved a little scolding. But all that… That was too much.

-I’m sorry, Atsushi. But as I said before, you look adorable when you’re scared, I couldn’t help it.” The young man blushed at the words, gazing at the floor, smile still gracing his lips.

Dazai patted his head softly then walked past him, holding the door for his flustered junior to walk out. He knew Atsushi couldn’t stay mad at him for too long. He had been lucky to see his cute scared face tonight but, most importantly, the look of relief he liked to see on his features so much. It had really been a successful night.

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daraanna · 5 years ago

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Off guard

It was a hot, steamy morning when he woke up in a little too small for two people bed. His wife sat by his side, holding their daughter in her arms. Judging by her position, she probably fed the little one. Still slightly sleepy, he pulled out his hand and gently touched her back, under the symbol of Uchiha clan embroidered on her shirt. Though it was really his old T-shirt, which she takes as hers nightgown a few weeks after their wedding. Not that he complained, from the beginning he thought that it looked much better on her than on him. It's have been two months since they returned to Konoha and they lived in a Sakura’s old flat, still looking for something more suitable for their three-person family. His wife was still on maternity leave, although sometimes she was called to the hospital at different times of the day and night in special situations. He got short missions mainly class B, and if he have to be honest he did not mind. Probably 10 years ago if someone would tell him that he would be happy sitting in a two-room flat, dealing with housework and the child he would laugh at him. And yet he was here day by day watching how their daughter is growing up and although he sometimes missed adrenaline that was part of shinobi life, he was happy seeing his family safe in the leaf village.

"Good morning," he heard the voice of pink-haired.

“Hn” replied getting closer to her. Sarada was sitting on her mother hands, cuddled up in her and looking around curiously.

“ I fed her and changed her diaper. If you'll take care of her, I'll take a shower. This heat is awful." she sighed gently stroking the back of their baby girl. Without thinking, he pulled out his hand to take their child. Moments later, the black-haired infant cheerfully waved hers limbs lying on hers father's bare chest. Clearly pleased with the presence of hers dad little Uchiha bravely tried to get up and crawl in the direction of Sasuke's head, making quiet sounds in the shape of words. In spite of everything, Sarada was a quiet and peaceful child. Now that he had a comparison with Naruto offspring. He involuntarily shuddered at the mention of the mini dope. It is not that he wasn’t happy of happiness of a friend who do amazingly well in the role of a father, (although Sasuke suspected that this was Hinata merit), but his son scare his princess during their last visit with his screams. He sighed and then smiled, stroking the baby's hair. She get tired of playing and probably also because of the heat. She closed her eyes and rest calmly on his abdomen.

.................................. After leaving the cold shower, the pink-haired woman felt much better. Relaxed and refreshed, she managed to put on her underwear when she heard her husband's scream. Instinctively, she ran out of the bathroom into the bedroom, ready to repulse the attack or any danger to see Sasuke standing in the middle of the room with his face twisted in pain. Their daughter kept by him on his hands was sucked to his nipple.

"Sakura, take her away!" She heard his voice, which roused her from the shock. She quickly managed to detach Sarada, who was about to cry. She just wanted to eat and now everybody is acting wierd. Unaware of what went wrong she snuggled into her mother and was about to start screaming, but when she saw her mother laugh, she instantly forgot what had happened and started to giggle too.

-Tsk .. It is not funny, she caught me off guard...- replied Sasuke putting on his shirt. However, his words only caused his wife to laugh even harder.

"I don’t believe the great hero of the 4th War was defeated by a 5 month-old infant," Sakura replied, stroking her daughter's cheek - who is the clever kunoichi? - she asked kissing her in the forehead. However, the little one was too busy trying to get rid of this strange pink material that keep her away from her lunch.

"I think she is still hungry," her husband said, heading to the bathroom.

"Looks like it," she signed sitting down in her chair. "Will you bring my clothes to me?"

“Hn.”

................................

When Sasuke returned to the room, the youngest member of the Uchiha clan was sitting on the bed on her favourite cotton candy-pink blanket playing with his old plush dinosaur. How a toy survived and found itself after such a time remained a mystery to him, but it became the favourite of his daughter too. Now the tail of the tyrannosaurus was passionately chewed. Since Sarada began to teething, chewing things became the highest form of expressing affection for her. So the plushie, his sleeve, Sakura's hair and a pink blanket was drooled regularly, but other inferior items (including the true teethers) met with cold indifference. In the meantime, his wife take on a red dress he brought from the bathroom and joined their daughter on the bed. However, baby girl had felt that something was not right because moments later her eyes turned to him.

"Paapa!" She said, pushing her hands on the blanket. Black-haired felt his heart beat faster. It was not the first time, the truth was that the girl already knew 3-4 words. (Although Sakura insisted that "Hn" was not the word but he knew better). However, every time he heard it, it made the same impression on him. He get closer and stroked her head, sitting on the other side of her blanket. Satisfied infant took care of his left sleeve and start to chew it. Then he heard a soft laugh of pink-haired.

“Stop it. It is not funny at all ...”

“ It is. You should admit it “ she started to tease “Such a story fits more Naruto than you ...”

“Tsk” he snorted at the further giggle of his wife. Wanting to silence her, he moved closer and kissed her tenderly. The laughter died away immediately. This time he could not stop to smirk seeing her flushed face.

"Shanana!" Sarada looked at them and giggle.

And then, looking at his family, Sasuke thought again that he definitely did not mind his new peaceful life.

....................................................................................................

Soooo... I need some palce to weep out my frustrations so if you don’t want to read it then you really don’t have to. So Yeah last week I failed my final Medical English exam and today I get roasted by academic teacher beacause of how bad my english grammar is and I stared to wonder if I acually didn’t make your eyes bleeding when I try to write all this fic. Because no matter how much enjoy writing them my hatred towards English as school subject reaches back to my kindergarden days when we was learning colours and name of the days in EnglishXD So I want to ask is I am really that bad? Because maybe it is saftier to stop my writing career.

#sasusaku #sasusakusara #sarada uchiha #sasuke uchiha #sakura haruno #sakura uchiha #papasuke #my english is so bad

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alchemist-shizun · 5 years ago

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As expected, Dealing with intrusive thoughts is now one of my favorites

Here I come with almost all of my reactions on the episode, even though I tagged the spoiler warnings I put everything under the cut just in case. Enjoy the emotional rollercoaster while I'll probably go and rewatch it again.

Okay kinda expected one or two of the warnings but all of them together what is gonna happen???? (Though they make sense after reading the title)

HELLO FRESH BACK AGAIN

"I'm awesome and I can do this" there goes my boy. *said boy falls flat on the floor* ...come on

I felt that yawn bc I stayed up all night waiting for the video but it dropped at 8 am, I'm an idiot who should've gotten more sleep

"help me" why is he such a mood "everything is going wrong in my life" same but YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT LET ME HUG YOU

They're all sinking up so fast god I missed my bois. Also the general awkwardness of Virge and Pat, greeeeat something will go wrong

Virgil just ignoring everything and touching the railing, a mood

ALSO PLEASE LET ROMAN IN THE SITUATION

SECRET SECRETS ARE NO FUN TELL ME NOW OR ELSE WE'RE DONE

wait why does Ro want to be deeply troubled- man are you okay-

LOGAN'S HERE

"your most extreme reaction is an eyebrow raise" "FALSEHOOD" "I stand corrected" omfg

"what are you ta- what are you talking- what are you talking about?" I loved that whole take it made me feel complete

"Look I barely got any sleep" this can apply to a lot of us and I love just how we're all always like "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF" but in the end this is where we all end up anyway

Okay I'm very curious about these troubling thoughts though

"so sushi" FUCCC I DIED RIGHT THERE

"Don't act like that was an accident" "everybody, Virgil. Let's give it up for the Purp Man" these speak for themselves. Also the purp man is my new fav nickname and I'm gonna use it.

4:17 Patton is adorable bye

"if you continue to push this we're going to end up in really dangerous territory" AND THAT'S WHERE THE TENSION STARTED TO BUILD UP

great flick

"am I delirious or is this the funniest video I've ever made" I felt that

YOU HIGH-JOCKED

okay but when Thomas starts disassociating I also feel really weird like as if there was something blocking my own hearing for real?? And not just the audio edited like that?? Maybe I'm just too tired

WHAT WHO WHHH first intrusive thought making its way what is gonna happen

OH MY GOD ROMAN WATCH OUT ALSO THAT'S DEFINITELY A NEW DARK SIDE OR SMTH LIKE THAT

W HO THE FUCKLKDSL IS THAT A MOUSTACHE IS THAT GLITTER WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE WEARING WHAT IS HE DOING THERE PLEASE- okay but he looks crazy af I like that

"-evIL" "-SHOW UP"

First time I watched the scene where Ro gets knocked out I literally just screamed "ROMAN" in a high pitched sound I was shook wtf my bOY

Patton and Thomas's yells in unison plus "YOU KILLED HIM" I just I JUST

"Ah, he's the Duke" "....... boo" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay but his voice is so on point with his character portrayal he's so weird it's awesome?

SONG SONG SONG and oh goodness the visuals I can't fathom how much editing work must have gone through this, they're all so talented.

"aunt patty naked" A G AI N??

"IM GONNA WHIP YOUR BUTT"

a snaKE IT'S DECEIT oh my these silouhettes are so great this is my favorite scene

this is gonna be stuck in my head all day

THE COOL MIRROR EDIT.

god i hate him so much already but i'm super intrigued he's so chaotic the whole team made a wonderful job i'll never stop saying this

"i'm really stupid right now" just how much out of context relatable content are we going to get on this fine day?

omg the dark version of creativity, which can be associated with intrusive thoughts, that's very clever

THE JUICY STUFF DANCE

"Repression can be very bad indeed" I mean he's right tbh it leads to never solving the problem at all

GO LOGAN GO HAVE YOUR TIME TO SHINE FINALLY i missed him

"i can't hear youuuuuu" much like "I don't understand what you're saying I don't know anything about words" THE DARK SIDES ARE ALL SASSY LITTLE BITCHES

pattonnnn did a real good job

THE BRAVE HANDSOME UNBEATABLE ROMAN and mashed potatoes

"scary" and Virgil just gives Thomas a look idk I live on the little details (Im ten minutes into the vid and look how long this post already is)

GEE Remus (already using his name bc it's shorter) looking so offended at the label and then pointing out it should be a Virgil problem whAT DOES THIS MEAN IM SHAKING

WHY WOULD HE BE DECEIT AGAIN IM DYING. "Idk if you guys can tell but I'm a little silly"

"then why are you lying" no everybody I don't need angst

THE BLACK AND THE WHITE THEORY I SAW GOING AROUND good job to whoever thought of that

JOAN

the forbidden dance

INTO A BUTTHOLE WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BUTTHOLES

there u go thomas said it too

haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate FHDSLAKLFD

irresponsible parenting, Logan completing the parental unit of the sides

"maybe there's hope for you after all!" me looking at all my wips

REMUS' LAUGH IS PERFECT. also "BITCH WHAT IS *YOUR* DEAL"

"you've never been one to soften the truth" OH BOI HERE WE GO

"do we have some case of brain swap???" I legitly said "maybe" in unison with Patton the first time

Vee pls stop putting Thommy boy down he's having a bad time

Logan trying to put some sense into the situation is my only spark of hope for this to turn back good

REMUS IS SO DRAMATIC

That lick was ....... let's pretend it never happened

"you know who can help us with that???" DECEIT'S SONG COMING UP that was great, imagine the chaos that the duo would create

"THATS WHAT REPRESSION IS?"

gasp Remus trying to make Virgil angry at Logan shall not stand DON'T PUT THEM AGAINST ONE ANOTHER HE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP

"you all are not listening to Thomas" this is the development I needed

"you're just para-" and he cuts himself. You all know what I'm talking about. Foreshadowing probably? This happened too back then when Roman was almost calling him the same. And then Virge looks so hurt I- "thank you for being on guard" that made me want to cry idk

the whole speech Logan gave? Pure gold. That was perfect.

HE SAID FIGURATIVELY *CLAP CLAP CLAP*

"UH RECORD SCRATCH?"

"does this make me cool?" djslagrkglhf also the teeth thing right after what the

... the deodorant eating ...

DUKEY

The first time I watched I thought his name was spelled Remis that's how dumb my Italian ass is

Still I love his name bc I'm a nerd for ancient culture, ESPECIALLY Roman (and ancient Greek but it isn't mentioned here) and I love the little thing they did with both Creativity names, super clever and very much liked on my part.

"I would never hide anything from you" and he looks at Virgil JUST ALL THIS FORESHADOWING

LOGAN SHOWING HIS TEETH BACK UP

"how about you shut up" Roman what the hecc man

THAT THING INTO LOGANS HEAD UNSETTLED ME A BIT

what are they doing to him today let him rest

double blow

"can we logic our way out of that?" everybody nodding was so pure

"shit"

THAT FUCKING JUMPSCARE I'M SORRY WHAT THE FU

"not all thoughts are meaningful"

He's go- no he's back again

THE CALLBACK MENTION AND PATTONS REACTION... probable foreshadowing to what Joan said about there being a part two of SvS?

"When are you actually gonna jump out of a moving car I've been bringing it up for years" so it's not just me..?

"it is okay if the thought happens to cross your mind"

"everything is okay" I'm going to cry I needed that

I love how Logan touches the topic that there is no problem in seeking help from therapists. There's a lot to say on this, but I was really glad that was pointed out since the are a lot of stereotypes on the matter

why did Virgil look like he was about to cry

Patton I love you

Thomas going to rest is what everyone wanted to see

Virgil confronting Remus I'm living you're doing amazing sweetie

"you tickle me emo"

"it was just like old times" then Pat and Lo's looks in this essay I will

ROMAAAAN

VIRGILS SMILE

"YOU'RE ALIVE"

"I LOVE YOU" ME TOO!! ME TOO ME TOO

"are you good?" "are you hurt at all?" I love when the sides look out for each other

"I'm sorry Logan" right through the heart. Another development.

I need y'all to look at Virgil in this exact second because. he.

that's my point.

All those smiles while Logan's talking are making me alive

"No seriously, you're ... really ... cool" I started tearing up right here. Twice. And then Logan sinks down cause he's not at all used to this and he's feeling t h i n g s please keep on being appreciated you deserve it

Also Patton always learning from his mistakes and understanding them when he does something wrong or he thinks in the wrong direction, that's something I think a lot of people need to learn, including myself. Like, it's okay to be wrong and make mistakes, just do your best to make sure you're improving yourself afterwards, instead of dwelling on it too much

"I don't like him" makes two of us

"Soooo you have a brother?" oh boy

The m i r r o r it's making me cry

"He's gone now and he's never coming back!" "I don't think that's-" "BYEE" what was all that talk about repression for if you contiNUE TO DO THIS ROMAN please I beg of you let us hELP YOU he's making me die inside

Oh boi the big moment. I already expected a bomb to drop since Virgil was the last one remaining.

"You okay buddy?" "Huh?" op somehow was already found crying

"I'm a little disappointed in myself" istg all that foreshadowing mixed with me wanting to hug him

The music picking up tension, this is poetic cinema let me tell you

I noticed how he calls them "the others", all these tiny details is what I'm living for

"I should know better" I couldn't beLIEVE IT, also how he seemed to be so frustrated made something inside me break

the pause and then "Because I was one of them", the music stops for a second, a little second in which you can hear my distant screaming "GOSH HE SAID IT IT WAS TRUE"

Thomas is speechless and just stares at him while the music picks up again and then Virgil's sigh and expression sinking down like "there you have it. that's the truth. and you can't do anything about it" he looks so defeated I'm breaking down.

Did I already mention poetic cinema? I just love angst and this scene was perfect

First time watching I, too, barely understood anything I was listening to in the last parte because all of that was really a lot to take in.

"Those thoughts that you may have thought do not define you"

"[the thought] may simply be that we are really okay"

"Go to bed!" me

no im not in the mood for food because for some unfathomable reason I had anxiety before the video dropped yay me

WHY ARE U DRINKING RED WINE WITH THAT DISH

GAVIN BEST BOY EVER

and last but not least: are you fucking serious Remus

THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BUTT FANDFKJL

I didn't expect this topic at all and I am so glad it was talked about, thankfully my intrusive thoughts do not bother me as much as I realized other people's do. And I never saw anyone talking about this before, which is why it makes this video so important. I saw a tweet recently about someone saying that it is okay if you think about weird things, the important is that you never act on them, that's what makes you a good person. But I think this video really explains it far better and I never realized how common something like this was? So yeah another time in which I've been educated and couldn't be happier about it. These people really are bringing light to the world gah I LOVE THEM.

oKAY guess I'm done this was a wild ride and yeah I tend to point out EVERYTHING, so here you have it, as I already mentioned if you feel the need to geek out too, I'm here for ANYBODY! (pls I have no friends)

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zareleonis · 6 years ago

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My Star Wars Top 10 of 2018

This year I fell massively in love with Star Wars, learned more about a galaxy far, far away that I ever expected and started this blog, first to liveblog Star Wars Rebels, and later to share my thoughts on whatever new (and old!) Star Wars media I came across. In honor of what, in my mind, was a really fun year for Star Wars, I wanted to share my top 10 list of my favorite Star Wars things that came out this year, across different kinds of media. Read more because it’s really long :P

Honorable Mention: Flight of the Falcon multimedia series (by multiple authors and artists)

Okay, if I’m honest, this gets honorable mention spot, mostly because I felt like putting it in top 10 when it’s really a BUNCH of comics and books would be totally cheating :P One of the more fun things to come out of Solo: A Star Wars Story, this series of loosely connected books and comics whose main connecting factor is the Millennium Falcon (and Bazine Netal’s hunt for it!) is an absolute joy. Cavan Scott knocks it out of the park with the ridiculously fun Choose Your Destiny: A Luke and Leia Adventure. IDW Comics does what’s it does best by bringing together some exciting and unexpected pairs of characters for the last couple months of Star Wars Adventures. In Lando’s Luck Justina Ireland gave us the coolest darn Princess in Star Wars since Leia, Rinetta Gan. And they’re not even done yet, with 2 more comics and Pirate’s Price left to go!

10. Star Wars: Scum and Villainy: Case Files on the Galaxy’s Most Notorious by Pablo Hidalgo

What an awesome and fun book! So much great art, and Pablo Hidalgo always gives 100% with his work. It’s such a creative concept, following Tan Divo and and his descendants, as they report on the criminals and rebels of their day. I completely geeked out over how it gave soooo much neat new information about characters and organizations from ALL OVER the Star Wars universe. It’s an absolute blast!

9. Solo: A Star Wars Story: Tales from Vandor by Jason Fry

This book is AMAZING. Even among the “replica journal” style books that Studio Fun puts out, it stands out as super unique, written from the point of view of the Midnight, the bartender at The Lodge on Vandor (where Han meets Lando), as if he is telling the story to a guest. It’s such a fun outsider’s point of view of Han and the other characters of Solo. The best part though, is the parts of the book that are just a shameless love letter to Star Wars Legends, with nods to stuff like The Wookiee Storybook, LEGO Star Wars: The Padawan Menace and several novels. Jason Fry’s love for the franchise really shines through.

8. Star Wars: Poe Dameron by Charles Soule and penciller Angel Unzueta

This year we said a bittersweet goodbye to Marvel’s monthly Star Wars: Poe Dameron and goodness gracious it was good. Between the Legend Found arc that was to be the original ending and the final The Awakening arc, where Black Squadron is reunited after The Last Jedi, this comic really touched my heart. The last couple pages of issues 25 and 31 still make me cry. :’)

7. Solo: A Star Wars Story directed by Ron Howard and screenplay by Lawrence and Jon Kasdan

THIS MOVIE IS CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED AND I’M MAD AT EVERYONE WHO LET IT FLOP. I’ll admit I wasn’t exactly desperate for a Han Solo Backstory Movie, but Solo was just AWESOME. Just some good, raw, Star Wars-y fun that you can’t help but smile the whole way through. It might not be groundbreaking, but it introduced some super cool characters in L3-37, Qi’ra and Enfys Nest, gave us Maul’s grand triumphant return to the public at large and has INCREDIBLY charming performances by Alden Ehrenreich and Donald Glover as the Han and Lando we all come to love.

6. The Mighty Chewbacca in the Forest of Fear! by Tom Angleberger

If Solo, is good, this kid’s book written to accompany it is even better. I mean, Chewbacca meets K-2SO meets Tooka cats meets teenage bounty hunter/librarian?? On a planet with scary monsters and a spooky evil Force user? Also Cassian is there?? And the daughter of This Funny Hat Dude from Return of the Jedi? Hell yeah!!!!!

The book is hysterical, ridiculously fun and I can’t recommend it enough. I just have to say if you do get it, try and grab the audiobook it’s got a full cast of voices for the main characters including Marc Thompson giving his best Shyriiwook as Chewbacca. I laughed so hard I cried at the narration and a K-2SO’s lines done out loud. You won’t regret it!

5. Star Wars: Women of the Galaxy by Amy Ratcliffe and eighteen awesome artists!

THIS is one of the coolest Star Wars books out there and a celebration of all the women we know and love (and sometimes hate) in a galaxy far, far away. It’s such a wonderful collaboration, created by all women (& non-binary) artists and author. I love that it’s got characters from practically everything—movies, books, comics, video games, you name it! We even got to see characters like Jas Emari for the first time which makes me SO HAPPY. it’s one of the books I come back to all the time just to flip through it and enjoy the illustrations.

4. Star Wars Resistance created by Dave Filoni and executive produced by Athena Yvette Portillo, Justin Ridge, and Brandon Auman

I LOVE RESISTANCE SO MUCH!! I didn’t quiiite know what to expect with the new animated series, but was super excited and it hasn’t disappointed one bit. It’s such a fun show and really enjoyable to have a Star Wars show that is almost just ‘slice of life’ compared to the others. The animation is so cool to me and the characters really cute. I’m ridiculously charmed by all of them, especially our main man Kazuda Xiono and really hyped to see where these characters go. It’s more happy and fun than anything, but I know it will break my heart to pieces soon enough (KAZUDA XIONO. HOME PLANET: HOSNIAN PRIME). I hope more people give it a chance because it really is awesome!

3. Star Wars Adventures: Tales from Vader's Castle by Cavan Scott and various artists

LET THIS BE MY LOVE LETTER TO CAVAN SCOTT AND ALL THE COOL AND AWESOME STUFF HE’S DONE WITH THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE!! I was soooo excited when these came out because it’s such an AWESOME idea, I mean? Star Wars Horror story one-shots connected by a wider plot??? YES PLEASE AND THANK YOU. Doubly so when they star Lina Graf, of the Adventures in Wild Space series by Cavan Scott and Tom Huddleston. I was soooo excited to see her again and it’s amazing to see how she’s grown from a young kid to a brave and capable pilot and Commander in the Rebellion.

Then the individual stories are just awesome. It was a joy to see Kanan and Hera back together again after Rebels (or, well, pre-Rebels). The Dooku story was just amazing and such an enthusiastic tribute to Christopher Lee as Dracula. The Frozen inspired Han and Chewie story was also pretty great and I LOVE that it referenced the events of The Mighty Chewbacca in the Forest of Fear! And, my personal favorite story, the spooky ewok story featuring a young Chief Chirpa and Logray was brilliant and I enjoyed getting a closer first-hand look at ewoks (something we don’t have much of, at least in canon!). All in all just an absolute masterpiece in my book and a great reminder of why IDW Comics’ Star Wars stuff has been so freaking awesome.

2. Join the Resistance: Attack on Starkiller Base by Ben Blacker and Ben Acker and illustrated by Annie Wu

I’M BACK AT IT YELLING ABOUT WHY MORE PEOPLE NEED TO CARE ABOUT THESE WONDERFUL, CHARMING LITTLE KIDS’ BOOKS!! This was such a perfect end to the J-Squadron kids’ story. To me, this series is such a hidden gem and I really hope more people give it a chance. It was wonderful how all the characters’ stories closed out. I loved seeing Jo finally openly defy his parents, Mattis putting his faith in the Force and his friends, the return of Klimo, AG-90 and Dec fighting as brothers but growing stronger for it, and Lorica becoming the hero everybody thought she was. There’s so many fun cameos, from Rey, to Hux to Poe and Black Squadron, with the backdrop of the actual climactic battle in The Force Awakens.

And, one thing I really want to talk about that I love, is how the book (in tandem with the first two) give us the first gay character in a Star Wars kids book, with Dec Hansen. I wish they could’ve said it a bit more explicitly, but we actually got the kid and his friends talking about it in the books? And, with most of the LGBT characters falling more on the “scum and villainy” circles of the galaxy, it’s so refreshing to see a brave and unambiguously heroic gay teenage starfighter pilot trainee. Like, holy shit that actually happened!!!! ANYWAYS READ THIS SERIES I LOVE THEM AND YOU SHOULD TOO.

Oh, also, Annie Wu’s illustrations are AWESOME and I hope she does more Star Wars stuff (Pirate’s Price, out in a week!)

1. Star Wars Rebels created by Dave Filoni, Simon Kinberg and Carrie Beck

I don’t think there’s way I could place anything but Rebels at #1. This show changed my life in so many ways and I’m just. ridiculously thankful it exists. without Rebels, I wouldn’t have this blog, I wouldn’t be up to my ears obsessed with Star Wars and I there’s so many friends I wouldn’t have either. It’s touched my heart in a way that.... gosh I don’t know if I can even think about anything that resonates with me quite in the way Star Wars Rebels has. Pretty sure most if not all of my followers have seen Rebels, haha, but if you haven’t. You won’t regret it. Well, you might. It hurts. I hate to say, but it does. But even if the end destination leaves you heartbroken and uh prone to randomly bursting into tears about it, you will never regret the journey. Everything I learned and experienced with Ezra, Kanan, Hera, Sabine, Zeb and Chopper is beyond precious to me and I’m thankful it exists because it made my year in so many ways.

#star wars rebels #star wars resistance #solo a star wars story #the mighty chewbacca in the forest of fear #join the resistance #tales from vader's castle #star wars: women of the galaxy #star wars poe dameron #tales from vandor #star wars: scum and villainy #flight of the falcon #star wars

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rachelgetsbusyliving · 3 years ago

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December 16, 2021: Day One

Soooo here we go. Doin' the blog introduction thing.

My name is Rachel, and life has not been great lately. Like a lot of people, the past two years have really knocked me on my ass and like a lot of people, I’m ready to take my life back.

The pandemic started a few months after I moved out of my family home and by myself for the first time, so already notttttt the best start. In June of 2020, I lost my job. From August of 2020 to April of 2021, I found myself in an emotionally manipulative and abusive relationship (that I didn’t know was shitty until after we’d broken up) with someone that I ended up moving in with after only a few months (three cheers for lesbian stereotypes LOL), taking me away from where I lived near all my friends. Once we split, I moved into another apartment in the same complex - pro tip: DON’T DO THIS - where I’m still currently stuck. This building is also full of water damage and it’s got a fun little bug problem, so even without the ex nearby it’s Not The Best™.

Needless to say, my mental health could be a lot better. I’ve struggled with depression since high school but with the isolation from living alone during a pandemic and now working a night shift three days a week (I do actually like my new job a lot, but the schedule is hard to get used to), plus the trauma from my relationship and struggling financially to support living in a home I don’t even like, things have gotten pretty bad. I’ve spent the majority of my time alone in a tired, depressive state, barely getting out of bed or off the couch, drinking and binge eating, and feeling myself fade away.

But I’m done with that shit. I’m done feeling this way and I’m done waiting around for somebody to take my hand and fix things for me because that’s not how things work.

So starting today, I’m making changes.

I’m not gonna pretend to think it’s going to be as easy as declaring that Things Will Be Better From Now On Because I Say So. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve said it and might not be the last. But recovery isn’t linear, and success comes from being brave enough to keep on starting over even when things suck worse than they ever have before.

So, here I am. Starting over even when things suck worse than they ever have before.

My big step for today: tossing all the alcohol in my apartment and cleaning my fridge (y’all, it’s a miracle that none of the terrifying old shit in there had already come to life and eaten one of my cats).

And starting this blog because I need something to hold me accountable. I’m still too embarrassed to tell my real life friends about what I’m dealing with, even though I know they’d understand, so I figured, why not post about it semi-anonymously for a bunch of strangers to find. That seems reasonable.

I don’t know how often I’ll post, or even really what I’ll post about. Positive things, what I’m doing to better myself and try to find my way back to being happy with my life, pictures of my cats maybe (I have four, they’re pretty great).

To anyone reading this, thanks for listening. I’ve always been a weird combination of wanting everybody everywhere to hear my story and what I’m thinking all the time, but also terrified of the mortifying ordeal of being known by others. But I want to put all this shit out there not only for myself, but maybe for other people who are struggling right now with ugly things they don’t want to tell the people in their lives about.

I get it, I’m right there with you. And it doesn’t have to be like this forever. I don’t know what the road to happy (or even just like, generally okay and vaguely satisfactory) looks like yet, but I’ll get there.

We’ll get there.

I’m feeling kind of hopeful, and that alone is a start.

#mental health #positivity #depression #self help #self care #self love #starting over

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geeyani · 7 years ago

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TELL ME YOU LOVE ME, Demi Lovato

Overall: 9/10 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Demi did not fall short of her promise that the album will have more RnB vibe in it compared to her past albums. This is her best work so far. Unlike past albums, there are no filler songs. Overall, the album's tone is pleasant to the ears. It's more upbeat and I really love the sax in almost all of the songs. Ranking all of her albums:

1 - Tell Me You Love Me

2 - Unbroken (8/10)

3 - Confident (7.75/10)

4 - Don't Forget (6.5/10)

5 - Demi (5.75/10)

6 - Here We Go Again (4.5/10)

Top 5 Picks from the Album

1. Ruin The Friendship (10/10)

An important lesson: either you stay as friends or go for a relationship and risk ruining everything. Hits you right in the gut especially if you've been there (and done that). Loved the beat and the sax!!! Such a refreshing sound in this album. It's so sexy and smooth yet so urgent. The vocals are just almighty plus the HV run past the last verse. And the laugh after the bridge, yaaaas! Also, the song is about Nick Jonas.

Fave lines:

"You're only brave in the moonlight

So why don't you stay till sunrise?"

"Your body's looking good tonight

I'm thinking we should cross the line

Let's ruin the friendship, let's ruin the friendship" (Fuck! The entire chorus is swell!)

2. Daddy Issues (9.75/10)

I love the sudden stops in the first part of the chorus. Lyric-wise, it's relateable for people who are hung up on their exes (and even current relationships). I think this song is about Wilmer Valderrama. She showcased her higher registers in the chorus which sounds heavenly. The head voice in the end is also noteworthy. The lyrics and the way they were sang is alsoooo so sexy.

Fave lines:

"I call you too much

You never pick up

Except when you wanna fuck

And I can't get enough"

"Don't know how to commit

But I might want your kid

And after our first kiss

Got your name on my wrist"

"Never enough

Addicted to love with the wrong one" (You just spoke to me on a spiritual level!!!)

3. Only Forever (9.5/10)

One of those lovely ballads I'll never get tired of listening to. Her voice is soooo smooth. Matches the chills I get whenever I hear Lionheart (from Confident) and Two Pieces (from Demi) [my faves from bothh era.] Another song about Nick Jonas (I mean, it's Nick fucking Jonas, who would get tired of singing about him, anyway?) This song speaks about hopelessly waiting for someone whom they are not sure if is ready to take that risk.

Fave lines:

"You know when we get close

Can't deny the tension between us both

And I don't wanna pressure you, but I think you need to make a move" (Thanks for telling us how to assert ourselves! Queen!)

"Should I wait up for you day and night

Just let me know how long."

4, You Don't Do It For Me Anymore (9.5/10)

Her best song yet tackling her drug addiction. She speaks about herself leaving that "old self" and waking up to sobriety. It's about getting on your feet together and fighting for yourself. I love the beat plus the G#5s in the chorus. I also love how the bridge actually slowed things up instead of building it up. It's anticlimactic but it was done so good, I am actually addicted to the bridge. Yes for self-awareness. Yes for fighting addiction!

Fave lines:

"Money won't pay for your problems

You gotta fix them yourselfVices and pity won't solve 'em

Stop feeling bad for yourself" (Preach, girl. Preach!)

"I'm sorry for honesty, I could not bear

To lie to you, to lie with you

I'm sorry for honesty, I'm well aware

I lie to you when I lie with you"

5. Cry Baby (9.5/10)

There are actually four songs with a 9.5/10 rating (this one, You Don't Do It For Me Anymore, Concentrate, and Only Forever). I chose this over Concentrate to complete the Top 5 because it felt closer to me. The emotions are so raw. Lyric-wise, I was able to relate to it more compared to Concentrate. I love the Congratulations part of the song. It is such a very good irony--I'm strong but you make me cry. That is such a strong message! I also love the guitar riffs. I am soooo shookt, reminds me of the Two Pieces riffs. Vocally, it is stronger too, compared to Concentrate.

Fave lines:

"All I ever really wanted was someone to love me this good

You love me so good

Everybody knows I'm capable of breaking hearts like I've done

I've scarred more than one" (The irony of love.)

"Congratulations, celebration

'Cause my heart is the hardest to break

Break up to make up

Just to wake up with mascara all over my face

And I'm no cry baby, but you make me cry lately"

#DemiLovato #ddlovato #Demetria #Devonne #Lovato #TellMeYouLoveMe #TMYLM #D6 #Sept29

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merpsderps7 · 5 years ago

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06/08/2019

Soooo today’s my birthday! Woooo 26

And here’s some points about life now that I’m 26.

1. Always LOVE yourself. Put yourself first love you for you be present in life and confident in who you are and you will thrive. It’s good to look up and dream and but it can also be just as beautiful to look down and capture yourself right where your standing. Today that’s at work thriving cause I love my job and it’s my birthday and I love me.

2. You’re not always gonna get what you want and that’s okay. It can hurt your feelings or in my case just make me feel frustrated but that’s a part of the human emotion and I’m only human over here.

3. The coolest 25 things I learned in my 25th year was when I was when I was in that psychiatric hospital for 13 days. It’s called the personal bill of rights and I’m sharing it today because it’s really important to me that every human loves themselves and knows their rights!

4. Birthdays should be for the moms(parents). I’ve always believed this, I mean they freaking birthed us and raised us and changed our stinky diapers, and they put up with us every day cause they love us.

5. The birthday party is for me. AKA bonnaroo and if you(my person) don’t show up in my life before that I’m gonna be angry.. see #11 above.

6. All I want right now is real real love (just added Real Love by CRJ to my playlist) I mean I know it’s real love I just want it in real time.

7. Being on the same team in a relationship is really important for building strong ecosystems together. And we’re on the same team FOREVER.

8. I love life. And I love to tell everyone that because it’s also this awesome self mantra because Zoë means life in Greek so basically I’m continuously saying I love me which is a very good mantra too. And I hope everyone gets the chance to love life like I do(I’m talking about actual life here like your lives not me you don’t have to love me although that would be cool)

9. The best things in life are free!! AND normally places give you free things on your birthday which is the coolest concept ever!

10. I like to dance when I’m happy and I have the right to be happy. Thus I dance a lot. I hope it’s not too much for you 😅

11. ALWAYS be bold, be fierce, be you.

12. protect your hearing and wear ear buds at live shows

13. Love is enchanting. Let it go and love lots. Love is good. Love is love is love. And ❤️❤️❤️ just the way you are. And I want all of you all the string attached.

14. It’s world oceans day!!!!! Love our oceans and keep them clean!!

15. It’s also nation best friend day. And I haven’t had a single best friend but I have I’ve had a lot of friends that have been the best friends a girl can ask for. Everyone is unique and some people don’t have a single best friend and that’s okay it’s good to just have friends to lean on and to share and experience life with. It’s good to be a good friend.

16. Please drive safely. If it’s you who makes a mistake or someone else please just be kinder to all the cars around you. Cars can be giant metal death traps but I’d rather them fun vehicles for windows down music boppin transportation.

17. Appreciate the little things in life. Like the butt wiggles from your fur babies when you come home from work.

18. Live in the moment. Because moments pass by fast and there is nothing better then being present in every moment and in life.

19. Planning is also important. Set goals and plan things for the future so you have stuff to look forward to. (And make countdowns to those plans because countdowns are fun)

20. LOVE FOOD. Like all the food. Food is life. Food is fun. I just really enjoy all types of food.

21. Copying this one: don’t let your fears rule you. Be brave and live life fully. Life is going to be scary sometimes but that’s just part of life and being a humans. What shouldn’t be part of life are these dangerous events that keep happening. I don’t like crowds either after all the concert and night club shootings and especially after being 20min south of parkland when parkland happened. I choose to not live my life terrified of the unknown but instead excited for what can be through the next door. And I hope we can live in a world one day where these scary things stop happening and life is just full of fun for everyone.

22. Take lots of pictures! And videos if you can! It’s fun to collect photo albums and make home videos. And then in the future you’ll have fun reliving the moments again! (Also take nothing but pictures leave nothing but footprints on our environment is VERY IMPORTANT to remember)

23. Be more sustainable, from taking reusable bags to the store to recycling your plastics every little thing we do will help eventually. We all will one day save the earth together.

24. Everybody makes mistakes and sometimes things can be miss communicated and I need a lot of reiteration on things and definitions and sometimes I miss things. And social media is hard and I don’t like that I can’t talk to you in person cause I need you in person

25. Wear sun screen!!! Alll of the sun screen the ozone is not what it used to be and the sun is hot.

26. 💕💕💕 and I’m worried miss communications are still happening and idk what to do cause I just need you in person to hold me cause I’m shaken little snow globe over here cause I don’t understand why your holding back from me and I feel like I did something wrong.

#im still sick and its annoying #my mom just showed up to suprise me even though i told her thats not what i wanted -.-#but birthdays for the birthers am i right?#or the parents because adoption is a beautiful thing too #but the party gets to be for me!!!!!!!#happy dances #love is love is love #world oceans day #national best friend day #drive safe #little things #live in the moment #set goals #love food #food is life #take nothing but pictures leave nothing but footprints #be sustainible

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aftgonice · 7 years ago

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I'm not sure if this is weird but maybe story time I guess. There was this anon that bashed one of my fav authors.. Said that they wondered why author was so well liked when said author is self centered and doesn't really have good work. Several minutes later, messages came pouring in. Author's mutuals defended said author and well of course, said anon's an asshole and all that (to be continued) - 💙

I’m not close with fav author and I know that anon is asshole but when I saw the comments from author’s mutuals, all I could think is how much envy that anon felt after.. And maybe it’s because I’m not a mutual to the author, but I empathize with the anon more.. (to be continued) - 💙

I saw myself then and there, how shitty I was and how I lost respect from potential friends/peers and how much it sucked that said anon just being bashed by other’s when really that anon might be a lonely person who just wants someone to talk to.. (to be continued) - 💙

And it just made me want to reach out and say these things, support them, tell them on their bullshit without telling them off that they’re the worst human being ever (because really human’s are flawed and that said human probably just need a friend.. That.. Or they really are an asshole.. I wouldn’t know haha but it just.. It stung my feels so hard… - 💙

Sorry if this is becoming an angst fest hahaha it seemed like a weird thing for me I guess soooo yea I just shared.. Anyways have some 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙 - 💙

Hey Blue Heart Anon!!! (I love that you sign your messages)

Okay, first of all, thank you so much for these messages! They’re really personal so I want to thank you for opening up and most of all trusting me with these.

Secondly, I need to make it clear that something similar happened in my circle of mutuals (and I think it’s likely that you’re referring to exactly the same episode I witnessed). I don’t know why I feel like I should point it out but I guess it’s a disclaimer I want to have here in case my mutuals think this episode touches them personally.

Okay. Now.

You, dear Blue Heart Anon, have a great heart and a very sensitive soul and I appreciate it a lot. And let me tell you, while reading your messages I could see my own thought process and I could see myself writing the exact same things. Are you actually me?

You see, when people find a way (here the way is anonymity) to be needlessly mean like that anon was (from here on: Mean Anon), it means they’re envious and jealous. So when they say: “your work isn’t good enough”, what they say is: “I’ve never written anything in my life and I’m jealous that you’re writing something and are so successful”.

It’s perfectly fine not to like someone’s work, and depending on what type of content they create there are ways to let them know. For example, it’s essential to the book industry that published books get honest reviews from readers. But books are something you pay for, and there’s a whole market behind them, and the reviews don’t go to the authors themselves (unless they do decide to read them, but reviews are supposed to be for other reviewers/readers and for the publishers).

When dealing with fanfiction or fanart, obviously everything is very different from what I described about the book industry. First of all, any criticism (unless the author/artist asked for it, usually in the form of constructive criticism) should be kept to yourself. That’s because content creators are giving you something for free, they’re often exposing themselves in a way they would never do with their friends and family, and you’re just a witness to what they chose to let you see. And unless they gifted their work to you specifically, you chose to click on their work and could have stopped consuming it at any point. So, unless the author asked for criticism, you simply leave, maybe even unfollow them, but that’s it.

(Sometimes a fic/work is very offensive and it hurts a group of people, that has happened in two of my fandoms and that’s a whole other thing to deal with, but I wanna try to keep this as short and as in-topic as possible.)

TL;DR so far: generally speaking, if something is free and you are somehow able to talk to the content creator directly, do not criticize.

Let me go back to the comparison with the book industry a little bit.

I feel like there is this barrier we see between ourselves and someone we know is a published author. Even if you can talk to them via twitter these days, we still see them as automatically better than us.

This barrier doesn’t exist on tumblr. We see authors or artists interact with other people we follow or even our mutuals. Maybe we’re mutuals with some of them. We actually talk to them and share many of the same interests as them.

So when we see their success (a bit like we’d see a published author’s success), it’s much easier to both identify with them and also to ask ourselves, “Why not me?”

If my mutual or this person I follow is just a “common person” like me, maybe even someone I have talked to, what do they have that makes them more successful than I am?

We aren’t envious of something that we know is almost impossible for us to achieve. To change metaphor a bit, we don’t send hate messages to, let’s say, the greatest pianist of our generation, because it’s very unlikely that we could have ever competed for that spot ourselves (unless we’re a great pianist too).

We are most envious of what we could see ourselves achieving, and yet don’t.

We don’t because we aren’t brave enough to try, to put ourselves out there, and that’s okay! Not everybody needs to be writing or drawing, but the thing is: we see that there’s only one tiny step between Doing The Thing and Not Doing The Thing, and content creators on tumblr are just one step further than other tumblr users (the ones who only reblog and send nice messages and that we all love because we wouldn’t have an audience without them).

That’s where Mean Anon comes in. Envy is normal and natural, and a healthy amount of it is actually what drives you to do better and put yourself out there, as long as you recognize it for what it is and put it to good use.

But people like Mean Anon aren’t able to take that envy and turn it into something productive, so they twist it and turn it to something ugly like hate messages (all as anons, of course, because they would never show their faces while saying those things).

And you, dear Blue Heart Anon, are absolutely right. Mean Anon is probably unhappy IRL for whatever reason (@ Mean Anon or whoever identifies and sees themself as a possible Mean Anon: I don’t know you and I don’t want to make any more assumptions about you, but I hope you’ll somehow see this message and maybe it’ll help you) and coming on this site where creating and being successful is so potentially easy that it seems like everybody could do it must be really hard (and no, that’s not sarcasm: it really is hard to see others succeed while we simply don’t, no matter if it’s IRL or here).

It’s okay and it’s good for us to acknowledge that there are real people with real feelings behind these Mean Messages, because sadly they won’t stop coming, so we might as well try to understand why they act the way they do. True, some people are just pure assholes and that’s it, but I think when we’re talking specifically about someone attacking someone else because of their success, there’s always envy at the root of the problem.

And envy is one of the worst feelings ever. I talked about how Mean Anons are probably people who were never able to take that step towards creating something, but we all experience envy even if we create content ourselves. The same people who got hate messages probably envy someone else they deem more successful than them.

I envy some of my mutuals every day because they are faster writers than I am, or they write stuff that attracts more people, or whatever reason, and on bad days I need to take a step back and be off tumblr for a bit, but at the end I turn that into a way to push forward or tell myself that it’s okay if this is the best I can do.

Their success is not your failure. There is a role for everybody and you just have to find yours.

I don’t think it’s my place to tell people how to react to this particular kind of Mean Anons (the envious ones). I can’t blame people at all for treating them like the assholes they are, especially in the heat of the moment. The thing is, Mean Anons are bullies that, regardless of their reasons and personal history, want to intimidate others because that’s much easier than showing them support, because they have no one to properly vent their anger and frustration to, so they vomit all over you and your shit and that might give them a tiny bit of satisfaction right away, but believe me, they’ll feel like shit afterwards. Even if they don’t feel like shit about what they said, they just keep feeling like shit because living life this way only makes you more bitter and sad and there’s no way out unless you start loving yourself and others.

So, this turned into one of my longest rants yet, but I’m really grateful for your messages, Blue Hearts Anon. Keep seeing good in people even when they’re in the wrong and when they’re flawed, as long as you acknowledge that what they do is shitty. Maybe one of these Mean Anons will meet you or come across your nice messages and will feel understood and won’t harass anyone anymore.

#fandom life #dealing with online hate #okay to reblog #wisdom pulled out of my ass tbh #idk which tags i should use tbh #long post #blue heart anon #renee answers #renee rants

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jokerish-darkish-mindish · 8 years ago

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One Night

Request: heyy so im basically a nobody but can you do an imgine where y/n is Rick’s little sister and she falls in love with the joker? btw i love your imagines 😍😍😍 - by @dani-leto

|Okay, so I’m soooo freaking sorry for being sooo late. But I’m back, with new ideas and new content!! My Tumblr will change a little. From now on I will write not only about Joker but about Jared Leto and whole 30 Seconds to Mars. BUT this blog will be based on Joker, while my Wattpad (@Emu_ki) will be based on Jared.. So feel free to go check my stories there.! Love you dolls!! Let me know what you think about this one ;)|

“Why you are so late??!” A loud man voice reached you from the living room just after you entered the house.

It was 2 am. You came back after a party. You took off your black high heels and checked pretty messy (h/c) hair. “Maybe I didn’t need to come back home huh!?” You replied getting pretty pissed off.

You were already 19 years old and still everybody acts like you are ‘the little girl’. “You MUST to get home!” The voice replied getting closer to you. Rick showed up. “But let’s be realistic, my little kid is sleeping and this kind of time is heaven for me and June and with your night life it can be ruined…” he said while leaning next to the wall. He was chewing a Pb&J sandwich. “Then why aren’t you sleeping too?” You narrowed your eyes and walked to your room.

Right after graduation you asked Rick for a place to live. He was your older brother. You weren’t sure about his answer.. He had wonderful family life with June and it was too much to ask, but you had to. For your surprise he agreed and now you had your own room in his house.

Yeah, life with a small kid wasn’t easy, but you had to help. For some time at least.. You loved to go out with friends, it was your addiction. You always had so much fun, the night vibes always pull your mood up, drinking and smoking got you relaxing, but it wasn’t very often just because it wasn’t the right way to spend your money. Every night there were new places, new faces.

Last nigh wasn’t an exception. You and couple of your other girl friends went to one of the ‘greatest’ club of all. And that was a huge mistake, after 1hr you had to leave that place, just because that place sucked at giving the great atmosphare. Well at least you had an opportunity to meet a guy. Rick would be go insane if he would know that you danced with The King of crime…

You lay down onto your bed with your clothes and smiled. You still could sense his aroma. You closed your eyes and once again you saw that wonderful man, a real gentleman. His green hair, pale skin, red lips, silver smile.

That night he gently approached you by the bar. He gently placed his hand around your waist after taking a shot of alchohol with you. He face structure and deep eyes just took over you. There was no big chit chats going, he just offered to dance together, you accepted not only from a fear about being dead, but from the curiosity of being so close to such infamous criminal. Your body was touching his while you both took over the dance stage. Your friends were looking at you with fear but non of them were brave enough to free you from is grip.

After a dance he kissed your cheek super soft “We’ll meet again baby doll” he whispered before leaving. And now you are blushing as hell in your bed. You closed your eyes and it took only a few seconds to fall asleep.

Next morning you woke up when the sunlight touched your face. You sat on your bed and yawned while looking around the room. You quickly dressed up and opened your room’s door and almost bumped into a Rick. “Good morning” He laughed at your sleepy face expression. “You got a single letter.” Your eyes got wider both of you knew, nobody sends you any kind of letters. “Morning morning” you quickly took your letter and without ceremonies opened the envelope. Rick was interested too but as soon as you saw the first word you quickly closed the bedroom’s door and sat on the carpet.

“Morning, doll face… I forgot to ask your name.

Indeed… You are that military boy’s lil sis, huh?? This ain’t that fun, darling..

Now, let’s keep it in secret bunny, I will see you very soon…

Everything is planed, I know you want is as much as I do…”

Your jaw dropped, so many questions were in your head it started to hurt little. “Very soon?” You whispered and looked at your window. What have you done, one single dance probably changed your whole life. Maybe he is faking it? No, it’s a lame joke for the Joker. Then you read it once again.. MINE. You read bolder letters.. His.. No, it wasn’t a joke. You took a deep breath and threw that envelope to a garbage bin and went downstairs. You ignored Rick’s questions and nagging about a secret lover. You just continued to live a normal life, somehow..

- 1 week later -

One week without secret envelopes, messages or something different. Just before you leaving the house for some shopping with friends June stopped you. “Y/N?.. Look, I found it this morning in front of your bedroom door.” June held a purple rose. She said bedroom door?! No, how? “Bedroom?!” You repeated and took that rose from your hands. June fixed her glassed “Maybe you dropped it somehow before bed time?” You tried to come up with logic reason, but sadly no ideas came up, so you continued with June’s idea. “Ah yeah, probably, thank you” You smiled and left the house. A rose, INSIDE?.. You head was spinning, he was inside.. It has to be Joker’s, obviously it’s his…

- 2 weeks later -

Another week without any mysterious gifts or letters. It was a Friday evening. You were sitting on your bed reading some sort of book about psychology. Every single type of different psychopathy made you more and more interested. You looked at the phone it was already 1am. You put the book on the night stand and got under the blanket. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes.

After some time a loud scream woke you up. For a second you thought it was just in your dream. But a woman screamed once again and her scream was followed with gun shots. You quickly stood up and slowly opened your bedroom door. You slightly peaked out and looked down the hallway.

Rick was holding his gun, pointing to the front door. "Daaaaarling!!! My sweet Y/N..." Voice came from outside "Please tell your sweet military boy to put down the gun!! I just missed my kitten" You recognised the voice after a long and loud laugh. It was Joker. At this point you felt weak and super confused.

June looked at you "H-how does he know your name!?!" She was shocked but not as much as you were. Joker knocked at the door couple of times "excuse me.. but is it safe now??" He asked while giggling. "Sweetie, should I use my guns?!" He continued shouting from outside.

"N-no, he will kill you!" You walked out of the bedroom talking to June and Rick. You were coming closer to door when Rick grabbed your hand "Hell no you are NOT going to see him!" He shouted while gripping your hand harshly. "June, go get the baby and hide!" He commanded and looked directly into your e/c eyes. "I'm not letting you go with that psycho" he said loudly.

Then there was a knock once again "Sweet sweet Y/N, I will count to ten.." You got scared about the mind in your head seeing bloody Rick or June with a kid in her hands. "He. Will. Fucking. Kill. You" You said seriously. You weren't sure about what was happening around. Heart was shouting to go and hug that monster while your brains told differently. You shook your head and hugged Rick tightly "I will come back" You whispered and reached the doors.

"I won't let you go without a fight!" He shouted and he was right. It was stupid for him to let his younger sister simply leave his house in the middle of the night with this unstable serial killer. As soon as you opened the doors he started to shoot at Joker goons without a break. One of the goons shot into his hand and made him drop the gun. After that with a strong hit he knocked Rick down.

"10 seconds boss" a goon said and Joker quickly ran next to you. He moved his hand around your waist. "Let's go princess" he purred and was about to leave with you. At some point you really wanted to go, have some different life but you knew it was stupid and insane to do this with the Joker himself. You looked at the Rick a little bit scared then looked into those icy blue eyes of Joker and let him lead you to his car. You made a choice by your heart.

Even if it was a mistake, you had to try it out. You followed the Joker and sat next to him. You had no other choice actually, he was probably planing to kill everyone if you were going to reject his offer. And now you are sitting next to the most dangerous man in the whole Gotham only in your pyjamas. His hand was around you. "Welcome darling." He purred once again making you blush.

Now you were in the new family. Untraditional family. But it was a new beginning. You looked back at the house. Your eyes got teary a little but Jared made you face him "I hope you liked my purple rose"...

He changed the subject...

He probably will change you too..

"Sorry Rick, I fell for this monster..."

#imagine #jared leto joker #jared leto #joker #Mistah J #mistahJ #mister j #joker imagine #dc #clown #infamous clown #joker x reader #jokerxreader

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settingtrends · 8 years ago

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ziam fics for the soul

I’ve read (and reread) loads of amazing fics lately, soooo here are some recs!!! If you read them, please, p l e a s e, please remember to leave kudos and/or comments!!!

Long & Lost by abovetheserpentine

Retrograde Amnesia. Zayn’s learning all kinds of things about the brain and memory, and how the brain accesses memory. It’s interesting – he’s always been silently intrigued by these kind of things, loving to read the Wikipedia articles in his spare time. It’s different, though, when it’s happening to you.

Especially when the likelihood of his memory returning decreases with every hour that he can’t recall anything past July 2014.

Set early 2015.

*it is angst hell but very very beautifully written

Young Gods by abovetheserpentine

This is Liam’s first Grand Slam. He’s eighteen, he’s a wildcard, and he has a thirst to prove himself even if he can't quite believe he's in Australia. Backed by world famous coach Louis Tomlinson, Liam feels like his chances are pretty good.

Then he remembers that twenty-two year old Zayn Malik is back from injury to be a part of the tournament. Suddenly, Liam’s odds don’t seem so good anymore.

Can’t Help Falling in Love with You by eternallyunleashed

In the 18 years he's been alive Zayn has learnt to deal with the insane amounts of anxiety and stress that life threw his way. It was always easy to stay back and pretend he was invisible. After agreeing to Harry's idea of an internship he realizes all his hopes of maintaining a quiet simple life as he works towards Med-school get tossed out the window. Liam Payne enters his life. Zayn can't put a name to all the whirlwind of emotions that threaten to rip his body apart by just being near Liam, but he is certain of one thing. The mere thought or sight of Liam makes him lose the ability to breathe.

For Liam his goal is pretty simple. Ever since he laid eyes on Zayn, who looks like sin in human form with eyes that threaten to rip a man's heart out, he knew he had to have the boy. He needs him more than he's wanted anything in his entire life. Otherwise his red hot desire for the boy might just take him to his death.

Jinx by JoMouse

Famous actor, Liam James Payne, has quit acting at the height of his career.

University student, Zayn Malik, wasn't expecting to see his celebrity crush enter the laundry room of his dorm, but there he is.

Comically by TeamEmma

Zayn is a professor and also renown Comic book writer.

Liam is his nervous, bumbling student who needs this English class to graduate.

Carlo’s Bakery by sunnysideup

Where Zayn can’t bake. Zayn is skint, Liam runs a bakery, Liam has a vacancy in the bakery, Zayn’s best mate can bake, Zayn tells a white lie and this is what happens next.

The Money Maker by deniallisstrong

This is who I gotta pretend to be in a relationship with?” Zayn whines, shaking his head when he sees the crinkly-eyed boy with the buzz cut, the hoodie, the sunglasses.

“You’re no looker yourself,” Liam snorts, squinting his eyes at Zayn as he pulls off his sunglasses. But he’s lying. Of course he’s lying. His cheekbones are sharp enough to cut wood, his eyes bright enough to start a fire. But Zayn doesn't have to know that.

Zayn is perplexed—already—by Liam. He’s sharper, quicker than he expected. With a sigh, Liam slides down his hood, tiredly sliding his fingers through his hair. “Alright, well, let’s get this… thing started. I want it over as soon as possible.”

Zayn wonders suddenly what Liam’s hair feels like, has a strong urge to reach forward and kiss him back into the wall, find his own fingers in the boy’s brown hair.

Zayn's lying, too. But Liam doesn't have to know that.

(Or a fake relationship AU where Zayn struggles to hide his fond for Liam, and maybe--just maybe--Liam has the same problem with Zayn)

Viva La Vida by iambluehead

In which Liam is not a princess, but needs saving anyway; everyone is just a pawn in a dangerous game of politics and brutality he’s not sure anyone knows how to play; there’s more than one side to everything and maybe no right side to anything; and you can find and love and learn to live without people even after you’ve lost them. And instead of a princess that needs saving, there might be a boy who never needed anything, except maybe something worth dying for.

(Or, Liam is the crown prince of England who gets kidnapped by rebels and finds out that the world is a big, ugly place full of beautiful, broken-up people who may never get a happily ever after, no matter how hard they try.)

For All the Stars We Cannot See by iambluehead

Zayn grins sheepishly, the light hitting his face and making him squint, his fingers curling around the strap of his bag and his other hand rubbing at the back of his neck, a habit of Liam’s own that he recognizes on the other boy. “Yeah,” he finally says. “Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow?” “Yeah,” Liam says, letting out the breath that he’d been holding in his lungs until it burned. “Yeah, see you then.” The door slams shut, and Liam watches him walk up to his front door, wondering what would have happened if in that moment, he would have just leaned forward and— “The boy’s in bloody love with you,” Louis says bluntly, pulling away from the house and slamming around a corner at the speed of light. “You should get over your fear of everything and just kiss him already.”

(This is the high school AU where Liam plays football and is afraid of failure until someone puts Zayn in his life and he learns to be brave. There’s music Liam’s never heard of, eventful rides home from school, and drunken toasts to the stars they can’t see from Wolverhampton.)

Slow and High Tempo by zipplekink

"I just want you, Liam," Zayn whispers, skating his lips across his. "Can I?" Liam's lips part more as Zayn's do, exhaling slightly as Zayn's words sink in. He doesn't understand what they mean, but he knows he meant it when he said Zayn could have anything he wants.

His eyes flicker open to stare up at Zayn's dark ones, filled with a warmth that seems to consume Liam as he waits for him to respond. "Yeah, babe."

Through the summertime, winter, spring, and fall by zipplekink

They change with the seasons, burning bright during the summer and biting cold during the winter, but that feeling of being in love Zayn found in the summer clings to him through it all.

Tunnel Vision by scottmcniceass

In which Zayn is an award-winning popstar with a knack for getting himself in trouble, and Liam is the bodyguard he didn’t want to hire who has a few problems with staying professional.

Double Standards by rorz94

it doesn’t have a description but Zayn is a secretary at Liam’s company, basically. A really good read!!

It’s Always Darkest Before The Dawn by historyziam

At a time in his life when Zayn thinks he has forgotten what genuine happiness feels like, Liam comes into the picture and changes everything.

*read the fic’s tags before ya read it

(never) how it should have been by zizizrites

In which Zayn has a park to oversee, Liam is the raptors’ whisperer, Harry and Louis are the bickering computer techs and Niall accidentally creates a Holyshitosaurus.

kill monsters in the rain by blackwayfarers

A story where Liam can't get over how great Zayn is at singing and drawing and pretty much everything, how just being near Zayn is enough to make Liam's life a hundred times better, how lucky Liam is to have a best friend just as dedicated to pretending to be a superhero as he is.

we are the quiet ones by englandziam

Zayn feels invincible, in the midst of this small town with a couple of best mates and literature students who seem to get him. He misses home but as every day approaches these people feel less like strangers and more like family.

(Or a University AU where Zayn is an English student and Liam is the football captain).

you can coax the cold right out of me by loveontherocks

“Give me a week.”

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “What?”

“Give me a week,” Liam repeats. “Seven days. Just come hang out with us and let me show you what we do. Please? If by the end you still hate us and everything we stand for, then I won't stand in the way of your petition. Just let me show you.”

“A week?” Zayn asks. “That's it?”

It's a good argument. Seven days and he can meander around hungover college kids and make a list of all the reasons Greek Row shouldn't continue.

Nodding, Liam reaches out his hand to touch Zayn's arm. Zayn doesn't brush Liam off.

“Alright, fine. One week, Liam. And I'm not easily amazed, so I hope you've got something interesting to show me.”

Laughing, Liam rescinds his hand from Zayn's forearm and shakes his head. “I think you underestimate us, honestly. But just you wait.”

or; zayn drafts a petition to shut down the frat houses, but liam convinces him not to.

Once For Everybody Who Got Left Behind by pukeandcry

Liam doesn’t know how to wrap his head around this, because the question shouldn’t be -- the question should be how is there a ghost in his room, not whether or not he’s done something to offend it. “Well, like. I might’ve told him that ghosts don’t exist?”

“Oh, no, he doesn’t like that,” Louis says.

(or, the AU where Zayn is a ghost, and Liam moves into his attic).

When we meet on a cloud by retts

'By the way, Liam, Zayn here is your biggest fan. He’s a total fanboy. Practically lives in your tag on Tumblr, he does.'

Zayn is going to kill Louis.

Picture Perfect by zayniekins

Inspired by Liam and Zayn mirroring each other's selfies.

Aka the one where Liam discovers Zayn's Instagram by accident, tries to copy some of his poses, gets caught which initiates a selfie war and the fluff and smut that comes in between.

i’ll see you down the line by blurrychildren (roadside)

AU where Zayn works in the snack shop of the local skating rink and Liam’s a hockey player (worse, an attractive one).

Be cruel to me (’cause I’m a fool for you) by frenchkiss

“Baba, can I get the same job as Leeyum when I grow up?”

“If you want, flower,” Zayn snorts, ruffling her hair fondly. “Liam here can teach you.”

“Oh, no, I can’t have someone who could potentially love penguins more than me threatening my job,” Liam says in a fake-serious tone. “I mean, Raani here even has a t-shirt and I don’t think I can compete with that.”

“No, no, Leeyum, I won’t steal your job,” Raani shakes her head hurriedly. “I’m only five, I don’t think I can steal your job until I’m old.”

Or the one where Zayn is a stressed out single dad, Liam might just be what he needs, Louis and Niall are always happy to babysit and Harry's a loud snorer.

#ayyyyyyyyyyyyyy #i hope i didn't fuck anything up #also zayniekins got some shit that sounds good af *side eye emoji*#i put links to authors i've read before and know for sure there's more good stuff if you're wondering #why some are linked and others aren't adlfkjadfl #but i could fix that if anyone wants #i hope y'all enjoy #like i think i've rec'd some of these fics before but i reread them so why tf not #plus i loved a lot of these loads #also i miss blue #her fics are sososososososo good #ziam fic

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and-writesy · 8 years ago

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Character Building: High School Edition

Before I even begin, I’ll have to apologize for the eventual misspelled words or grammatical errors. I might be fluent in English, but it is still not my mother language and I’m prone to mistakes. Thank you for understanding.

Also, I use a lot of foul language.

If you wish to skip over the unimportant parts, read the first paragraph in bold.

Now, character creation, eh? Might seem like a big deal, but for people like me, who come up with characters sketches even before they belong in an actual story, it is not. I find it easy to create new characters and explore them until I can fully understand them.

At first, I admit I had some trouble with finding out exactly what was the best way to explore my characters in depth, without risking to leave any important detail out. I tried characters sheets, those with lots and lots of questions, but it didn't work out for me because there were lots of questions I didn't have an answer to. Not because I did not know my characters, but because I did not want to get so personal with them, and that stressed the fuck out of me. The fact that I couldn't answer questions such as what their blood type was or who was their first crush, made me overlook the important aspects, the ones related to their story.

And then I understood what I was doing wrong. Instead of trying to understand my character using a three hounded question sheet, I needed something more specific, more fit to the story I wanted to write.

For example, if I’m writing about an evil witch trying to conquer a kingdom, I don’t give a shit about her blood type or first crush, but I do need to know what can she do with those magic power of hers. I have to explore that because that is what matters to the story. If I’m writing a romance between two dorky companions, it would be a good idea to explore their romantic background a little. Therefore, the first crush/first kiss/first blowjob part might come in handy. If I’m writing about a brave crime fighter who happens to be a spoonie, I might need to know his blood type and so on...

After I finally understood this, I tried to trim the sheets to a shape I thought to be more fitting, but it still didn’t work out. It felt like the question and answer form didn’t do me any justice, so I began looking for something else.

Then it clicked. High school. Now, you might think what the fuck but let me tell you, high school help me shape my writing a great deal. I am not familiar with how secondary school works outside my country, being from Eastern Europe, but all the apparent nonsense I have to learn really helps me.

Particularly two subjects, literature and psychology, both mandatory.

When studying and literary work (I’d take Hamlet for this example) we get an assignment that sound something like: Write a complete characterization of the character Hamlet from the literary work with the same name by William Shakespeare. And then the length limit I really hate.

I’ll repeat myself, I am not familiar with any other school system besides the Eastern European one, so if any task I talk about here might seem odd to you, it is purely because the school system you, dear reader, have gone through is different from mine. Because of that, I’ll explain everything in depth.

Now, what does a complete characterization mean? Well, the simplest way of saying is: you talk about your character. Of course there is a list you have to go through in order to meet the assignment that I have adapted a little bit in order to fulfill my needs as a writer.

First, you have to establish what role does the character play in your story. Are they a main character or a supporting one? Are they presented as individuals or a collective? Are they real, imaginary or symbolic?

Next one deals with the character’s social and professional status. You might ask questions such as: What is their profession? Their social status? Are they married? Do they have any children? etc. Basically, think of your character for an official viewpoint and present their status without any emotion involved.

Now it’s the fun part, the character’s physical traits. Everyone does this differently so I doubt there is any point in developing this part more.

This part I call past-present. Basically, develop your character’s history a little bit. Just enough to work in the story frame. If you feel like you need four pages dealing with everything from the manner they were born in to their last day before the actual story begins, go for it. If you feel like you need no more than a paragraph to get to understand your character’s past, that’s great. Everybody works differently and there is no right way to do it. For the present part, you have to give a little overview of the story from the character’s point of view. For short, summarize your story but make it around the character you’re working with. It doesn't even have to be a summary, it can expand as much as you need it to. What is very important here is to clearly understand your character’s goals through the story.

Think a little about your character’s general behavior, speech and personality. Initially, I wanted to skip over this, because the next part of this post deal with them more, but if you want all in one tidy place, go for it.

Now, we understand a little bit about or character. We know what role they play in the story, we know a little about their professional and social status, their appearance and how they go through the story. Now what?

Now comes the tricky part. It took me some time to integrate this part in my character creation process because it is sort of hard to figure it out in the context of a story that is not yet written, but if you can get over this it serves not only as a part of the character creation, but it helps a great deal with plotting and the actual writing.

(this should be six, but tumblr won’t work with me) Establish how your character is viewed from: the author’s point of view, other characters’ point of view and their point of view. If you want to skip over this you can, but it certainly helps getting to know this character based on what other know and think about them.

Describe your character’s relationship with other significant characters of the story. This does not refer exclusively to family relations or relationships, but rather, it is a continuation of the previous point. Try and understand how your characters behaves around others, how is he influenced by them, what they think of them and to the same for other characters regarding the one you’re working it.

Finally, and totally optional by the way, I’d suggest trying to fit your character in a certain typology. It might be used as a reference when you’re out of ideas and it can shape them even more. Your character can be the classic guy, the very romantic idealist, a symbol for a cause and so on. If you prefer a more modern take on it, I’d suggest this page on tvtropes.

Phew, that was a lot.

It took me a while to integrate all of this into my character creation and development routine, but once I've got it, it saved me from a lot of trouble. Now, when I want to really get to know a character, I follow this checklist and write between three to five thousands words for the main characters and one thousand five hundred to three thousand for the supporting one. Of course, you can write as little or as much you want or need to. As I previously said, there is no right way to do this.

Soooo, we have a thing now. We write a school type of essay to get to know our characters and their status in the story, and this is great, truly, but ... something is missing. If you look again at point five, we barely know anything about our guy’s mind patterns, about their behavior and personality.

At first, I used to integrate all of this in the main document, and it did work pretty well. You can do it if you want to.

However, last year I took psychology and at the end of the year we were given an assignment that required us to use most of the things we learned, and it was fun. I got a max on it and because I was given no limit, I really went for it, writing six full pages (this might hardly seemed a lot, but the average assignment was a page and a half, so yeah...)

What was this about? Take a literary character and using the checklist, make up their psychological profile.

For those yo did not take psychology in high school, do not worry, It is rather simple and a lot of fun.

I’ll go on and post the checklist with a few explanations.

A brief introduction of the literary work and the character’s status in it. We won’t need that, because we have previously made a full essay regarding this.

The character’s temperament. For this we used Hippocrates’ four temperament types (link to simple English wikipedia because nobody wants to read that much) and it was good enough for me because of how clear the differences between the temperaments were, but there are many other classifications of the human temperament you can use. You can always research a little bit and find what works for you.

The character’s general abilities and creativity. Here you have to explore your character’s abilities—not necessarily talents, but things they’re good at. Maybe they can talk to people or their pancakes are the best in the world. Anything counts. For the creativity part, it is quite simple, you have to establish just how creative your character is and in what fields can they express this creativity, if they even do.

The character’s intelligence. This part does not refer to their IQ, but rather to the various types of intelligence they posses. Try and think about their logical-mathematical intelligence, intra-personal and interpersonal, musical, linguistic, existential and so on. I tend to focus more on the type of intelligence is the most obvious on them and on the intra-personal and interpersonal ones.

The character’s personality traits. This one is linked to the temperament, so if you have already established in what category your character falls and researched a little bit, it would be easy peasy to shape their personality. For this I remember I used a personality profile I've found in the psychology book. I don’t have the book anymore, but the closes thing I could find is...

... the Myers-Briggs Personality Test. Yes, I know this test is crap and extremely inaccurate, but doing it form the perspective of your character can be a lot of fun and help you understand how they might react in certain situations.

So I did this assignment in which I wrote about Laura from J.S. Le Fanu’s Carmilla and I enjoyed it lots. I figured out I might use this technique for my original characters as well and it is amazing and comes as complementary to the first essay.

To summarize:

Write abut the technical stuff: Your character’s role in your story, their social and professional status, their history, goals and motivation and relationships with other characters.

Create a psychological profile for your character: talk about their temperament, abilities, creativity, types of intelligence and personality traits.

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