#i was so bad at improv when i started
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v funny to me to compare my dm prep now to my prep from even a year ago. like it's so much vaguer and more bare bones bc i am so so so busy. but like the sessions themselves are totally fine. sort of wild to discover that i no longer need to outline entire conversations
#i was so bad at improv when i started#i wont say im fantastic at it now and def rely on a few stock character types#but the improvement is definitely there and its sort of funny to be noticing it#literally just bc i dont have the time to prep the way i used to#I SHOULD POST MY DICE PALETTE#candles speaks#dusk campaign#ig
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Aaaw, you thought she was being cute <3
#cw flashing#cw bright lights#cw eyestrain#miraculous ladybug#marinette dupain cheng#ml paris special#paris special#emonette#started doing this before the special aired#when i got to the color part I hated it#stopped looking at it for a week#opened the file again and went “huh it's not as bad as i remembered”#finished coloring it#had no clue what to do for the bg#then remembered the “paranoia” music video and went#mugshot!!!!!#so here we are#this was fun to work on and it showed me a lot of points i need to improve#i love the special so much i want to do more for it#if you read this far lmk if you want a version without the flash
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Something something about us being shown Eddie developing his cooking skills before buck - that were shown Eddie being able to cook a full meal (and bake) before were shown Buck doing the same thing. And something something about that foreshadowing Eddie having his full feelings realisation before buck.
Eddie’s cooking skills are on display in 5x11 outside looking in when he cooks dinner for buck Chris and Taylor - and he’s baked cupcakes for desert as well.
But we don’t actually get shown buck cooking a full meal until the 6x01 lasagne. He’s only got as far as breakfast foods when he makes Maddie an omelet in 2x04 stuck but we don’t get shown him actively cooking again until he makes the lasagne.
After that its hit and miss on the cooking and baking front for buck - burnt lasagne in a 7 and I’m assuming his baking isnt that great in 8x07 by the way Chim has one bite and then pushes the loaf away before he masters the ziti, garlic bread etc in 807 and then later the scones in 8x08.
#there’s something about the idea that Eddie has the space and some outside help and got results quickly#that once given some help from Linda he picked up cooking quickly and easily#and he’s good at it - playing on the idea that Eddie doesn’t need to look outside of Chris and Buck and that he’ll figure that out#but buck has been struggling with it - he’s more hit and miss - he starts to get somewhere - finds a recipe that works#the baking being bad but getting better symbolises his recovery from hs failed relationship - he’s getting better#the scone being good and connected to Eddie - and the first lasagne being good and connected to Eddie#is showing us that it’s Eddie that is good for buck - that when it’s connected to Eddie it’s successful#but that buck hasn’t grasped that yet#and that it’s connected to buck - we see Eddie cook only for Chris and for buck (and Taylor but she doesn’t count really)#bucks gonna get there when he figures out he already has the perfect recipes - he just keeps trying to improve on what he already has#and he needs to recognise that and then he will figure out he loves Eddie and what they already have#so yeah the coooking and baking is a metaphor for buck and Eddie’s respective journeys to feelings realisations#I love a good metaphor and especially good ones#buckle up for bucks bumpy road ahead#food and cooking skills as a metaphor for love#Maddie raised buck - that’s why she’s breakfast food#and the scone is actually the only thing of bucks we’ve seen Eddie eat - the last thing - so buck getting the scone right is telling#it’s suggesting bucks baking adventures are over - telling us Eddie is the last - Eddie is the right one#so I don’t think we’ll be seeing buck cooking again until he’s figured out that he’s in love with Eddie#or if we do it will go badly#until he realises he’s in love with Eddie#I love this show so much#911 abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie
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IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING KIND TODAY!!! IS ANYONE ELSE FEELING GENEROUS TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE!!! IS ANYBODY ELSE BEING KIND AND TRYING TO UNDERSTAND EVEN WHEN ITS HARD!!! IS ANYONE ELSE ASSUMING THE BEST OF OTHERS INTENTIONS AND RESPONDING IN KIND!!!! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME
#having a day ^_^#I love being kind I just wish other people loved being kind more#people on the internet are SO FUCKING MEAN TO EACH OTHER???? its a terrible phenomenon#I have never seen people in real life treat others badly with the horrifying proportion of hate I see online#please. try to be kinder try to be more patient even when its frustrating#I have changed minds and deescalated arguments SO many times by being kind.#if someone is spouting misinfo in a furious rage and they're saying hurtful things? try responding with patience and kindness#even when you don't feel they deserve it. because one of 2 things usually happens#EITHER. they immediately shift their tone because you're talking to them like an equal and not an idiot#OR they continue to be horrible and it makes them look really nasty. its not a good look!! most people won't do the second thing!!#hateful online arguments has turned my mental health into a disgusting stew in the past#since I started being kind out of sheer frustration my mental health has improved a thousandfold#listen. sometimes its okay to be mean. if someone tells you to kill yourself I dont think its appropriate to give them patience and kindnes#BUT. if you treat someone like they're stupid. even if you're right!!! they won't listen to you or consider your words!!#because admitting you're right means admitting that they're stupid like you think they are. that feels bad so people won't do it#my wisdom. today I am so tired
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pretty & cute witch men
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i'm not drawing as much or as well as i'd like to be doing. i'm trying to get through a comic i've been really wanting to do#but i'm just finding it so hard. disheartening. btw the 2nd one relates to some official art of qif wearing a dress like the girls#and the 4th one relates to how i've been drawing EXTREMELY SMALL for years. idk how to explain it but i always clicked 'fit to screen'#and so all my art EVER has looked bad when you zoom in bc it's already like size 1 zoomed in to the MAX pfhgguguhfpfhGHAHHHHH#i was so confused allll this time why brushes always look different for me than what they're supposed to#'wow this brush is so jaggedy..really rather jaggedy...calling it the Jagged Cai Special..bringing it out for those jaggedy moments..#really quite jaggedy i must say...' and it's literally not jaggedy#but now i have to get used to how all those brushes that i'd gotten used to indeed look how they're supposed to finally. Alarming#I have simply been working out absolutely everything by myself for years and that's why my technical progress is slow#ppl say my progress is fast and i certainly have improved much since i began doing all this but#like..it took me a year and half to start using a program where i could Colour In The Lines aka the..whatever it's called. whatever..#just on my lonely confused solemn journey to express gay love better than yesterday.. -_- *picks up my pack n continues through the snow*#btw thank you sm for people's kind words enjoying my narumitsu art & fic over the christmas & new year period <3
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#good grief im gettin a lil tired of seeing 'DONT DO THIS' kinda art videos#i very much understand its a youtube thing and that clickbait names and thumbs get the views and attention needed#but it doesnt mean it doesnt annoy me or that I cant be annoyed by it#sometimes i just see it in tutorial pictures too#but the large DONTS with red Xs near the supposed ''wrong'' way of drawing is so demotivating#people start and draw in many ways than one#its what makes art their own#but when videos or tutorial posts are made and show the ''WRONG'' way to go about it#its like scolding the new artist or long time artist with that style that they're doing it wrong and that its bad#no matter the intention its not the way to go about helping artists learn to draw#and in my personal opinion#the click bait ''DONT DO THIS WHEN DRAWING'' thing is what keeps me from actually watching the vids#i get theyre probably helpful but i don't like that I have to feel some NEED or DESIRE to click on a vid cause I feel like I did a thing#wrong or that i never should have done it at all#i wish i could see more 'here are some tips that helped me#kinda vids cause yes i would love to learn what helped you rather than being or feeling wronged for drawing in a way that isn't theirs#im rambling but i have been seeing a lot of 'DONT DO THIS' NEVER DO THIS' 'IF YOURE DOING THIS STOP NOW' kinda art vids#im speakin for myself here#but im an artist sifting through art youtube or spaces always willing to learn new ways of improving my art#i dont need to feel click baited like the next 3am don't this kid to learn how to improve my inking skills#if it was more a 'this is my personal preference and I wanna share it with my audience and maybe teach some things' kinda vid#id watch that too#but im just so tired of seeing art youtube going down this need to tell folks 'YOURE DOING IT ALL WRONG. THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY"
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Yay I finally managed to make my 2023 art summary! First half of the year was a little disappointing looking back (in terms of both amount and quality). I think I managed to make more personal work this year, thankfully, which is what I wanted last year
#i think i had more examples to use this year compared which is good#esp the latter half of the year#in terms of improvement? i am starting to draw backgrounds..#i dont even think i have a 2022 art summary good lord (i think its bc i did mainly comms and barely any personal art...)#i also started making my own merch which is a step forward! ive been meaning to make them since 2021#itll arrive either tomorrow or thursday. ill share them when i get them#this year has also been less consistent in terms of art style. i wont say if thats good or bad#i had a bit of an art crisis in the middle of the year and then i had reached enlightenment in november#which is that i will stop gaf abt the amt of other people liking my art#i want to be those niche artists who stick to their own lane and post their 50 million merchs of their fav ship. that will be me!!!!!!#im having a junmui plush manu'd in jan so im excited#i also plan on making photo holders and standees and etc etc later on#art summary#munch art
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Atla live action 😐
#thats my honest reaction 😐#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid#like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat#or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already#good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive#to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil#i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better#but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because#it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak#and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but#come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and#makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality#i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was#IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall#AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think#plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS#a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason#im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your#audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small#thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small#its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers#i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang#anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and#rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz#netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub#no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same#ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me#i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing#yapping
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I do love the netflix avatar in my own way because it provides me with enrichment in the same way brain puzzles do for chimps. Like something is WRONG here and it's your very special job to figure out why! And then you will get juice reward!!
#its been making me think about the cartoon a lot lately for the sake of comparing and contrasting#so thats great#it was a very good cartoon#i do actually think that its stupid to complain about how its objectively bad when an adaption makes changes to the original#because that SHOULD be the point of an adaption. to try things in a new way and somehow improve on the story#but i think its funny how this show is constantly like ''we're gonna take a DIFFERENT route with this character''#and then the DIFFERENT ROUTE leads to them driving the car off a cliff#we will not get to our destination this way bestie#out of all the changes theyve made to the original i think the most misguided and overall dogshit is how theyre portraying Azula#it annoying when people say ''theyre ACTUALLY writing her as a victim of her father's abuse this this''#''shes ACTUALLY sympathetic this time''#girl i hate it here#netflix show is a COWARD for showing Azula this way in season 1#not that its not somewhat in character. if ozai started playing mindgames with her she probably would start spiraling like this#the problem is that we shouldnt be SEEING IT!!#avatar is regarded as Baby's First Media Analysis for a lot of people#and boy oh boy there was a lot of analytic meat to Azula's character#but the netflix version? this is a skeleton!! bones!!!#like obviously if you were watching the cartoon as an adult it would be immediately apparent#that this 14 yo girl acting not only like a grown woman but a calm calculated genocidal tyrant is very concerning#and it makes her sympathetic by defualt on the grounds of being a child#but a kid isnt going to realize that!! Azula is supposed to be polarizing!!#youre meant to buy into the narrative that everything is easy for her. that no effort troubles her mind#her unflappable nature is meant to unsettle you. intimidate you. she has no weaknesses shes unstoppable and shes pure evil#as a kid who is still learning how to think deeply about things thats how youre to perceive her#and then. AND THEN!! then the show pulls the rug out from under you and makes you question everything#Azula's gradually unraveling sanity in book 3 is jarring and unnatural and it forces you to challenge your own opinion of her#you become uncomfortably aware that shes a victim too. after all this time youve spent hating her#just like zuko. just like the fire family child that you had already come to realize was ''actually good''#after that first watch its hard to decide how you feel about her. as a kid anyway. but its sad. its all so very sad
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Okay I get why ppl draw this guy so much now he's a joy to doodle.
#my art#doodles#artists on tumblr#dsaf#dsaf jack#jack kennedy#I'm really happy w how he looks here ngl.#maybe I'd have done more facial scars but y'know. didnt want to just ball.#he came out a little too pretty dare i even say like legit got a lil flustered when adding the scars like huh.#getting humid in this room eh? tugging at the neck of my shirt etc#also i thought of giving him a moustache but when i did he looked like such a butch it was cute but not what i wanted#body could be improved but hey this was literally just a quick doodle#i need to start trying to draw Dave more now tho i draw dave so little so UNFAIR but i need to pull up the old yaoi references 4 that#anyway yeah jack lovers enjoy#a lot of ppl followed me bc my last jack doodle snd it made me feel bad bc i am never a consistent person#like you follow me for dsaf and then you get a single drawing of L.L. every few weeks. but hey. here's something for the lot of you. enjoy👍
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i see so many people starting their own projects and it makes me so happy but so angry at myself at the same time
#after the thumbnails for the entirety of episode one got corrupted like two years ago I really lost steam with the comic#abd art#I’ve improved definitely#but the fear of starting is back again and it’s really bad#I see the thumbs and I can’t even draw on the canvas#its like my body keeps freezing#Chevy keeps saying there’s no secret to it. just to do it#but I physically can’t :(#abd I know she means act the fear in general#but I forget how to draw when I’m too stressed#im so tired of waiting and thinking about it I just want to draw it#but I can’t#is it my autism or my adhd??#I know it stems from my perfectionism and my fear of failure but this feels deeper than that#maybe it’s my anxiety?#I can drawish when it cooked to those characters#but then I try and put them in panels and then. I just can’t#I got better at drawings bgs and perspective abd lighting and all of that but the second I try and do it for real.. I freeze and forget#this shit is making me sucidal esp after having to quit being an art major#ik there’s not a magic word to make me do this shit but is there something to help with the fear? because this is past mebtal#abd if anyone says do it scared I will block u because it’s more than just that#jk… maybe
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i need to pack my bags and get the hell out of frown town
#i realise that recently i have been disgustingly self absorbed with my own issues 😔#there is a line between discussing bad feelings with friends and being stiflingly negative and i leapt across that line a few weeks ago#like yeah my own issues feel horrendously overwhelming at points but i can't always be caught up in that when i'm around my best friend#i think it's a mix of just exhaustion and also the fact i see her after school where i'm more positive#so i just crash after a tiring day and become the mayor of frown town#it hurt to hear but i mean she worded it much less directly than i have been wording this#and the vibes have been feeling rancid lately so im glad i recognise the issue now and things should feel a bit better between us#just ough it's so easy to become an unpleasant person#not even necessarily by inflicting harm on others but just not inflicting any joy#it's rough out here but it's good to find out negative aspects of yourself and improve them ig#bc i have had friends that are horribly negative and it's just difficult to be around them sometimes#ugh anyway sleep will help all this#oh also in the morning today seemed impossibly exhausting but i got through it#woohoo#now i desperately need to fix my sleep schedule starting with now. bye bye tumblr
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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idk if it’s just me but i feel like so many criticisms of this season boil down to expecting an actual play improv show to be as coherent and cohesive as a scripted piece of media.
and also i don’t think some of you have ever played dnd and it shows
#fantasy high#prefacing to say that i’m not against criticism of the show or whatever#everyone has their own opinions and that’s fine#but i’m getting really annoyed by how many people are acting like their personal narrative dissatisfaction means some part of the show was#objectively bad when really YOU just didn’t like it lol#and ALSO of course you won’t get full narrative satisfaction every time because it’s a TIMED ACTUAL PLAY IMPROV SHOW#the fact that we get as much interesting narrative as we do is down to brennans talent#but i can promise as someone who’s played several campaigns that nothing is ever tied in as near a bow#as brennan manages to tie his finales#which again is a real testament to him because he does it knowing he only has so many episodes to work with#while an average dm ends the story whenever the story seems concluded yanno#idk i just feel like i managed my expectations from the start so i only had fun this season haha
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these moods swings are going to kill me.
#when ur so sad u cant even watch db........ flops over#i would probably feel better if i napped but i feel bad that my sleep schedule is so weird and i want to start getting to bed easier....#bleh. well. i will just poke around for a bit and if my mood doesnt improve then. i will lay down.
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sorry lol I just agreed with that post so much and it got me thinking tbh. I think a lot of us have gotten into a habit of looking at a story so critically, trying to sniff out plot holes and 'bad writing' in a way that misses the fact that the point of a story is to tell a story. I feel like people forget about suspension of disbelief in their mission to analyze a work sometimes. I do think there is a place for in-depth meta analysis of a work, I think it's just as much a worthy fandom experience as any, and maybe that post wasn't even meant to criticize people doing that sort of thing at all, but I just. I think a lot these days about how much more enjoyment I get out of a thing when I decide to watch or read or play it with the intention of just letting it be what it is and not trying to fucking grade its quality or something. you don't have to rate and review everything you do. sometimes you can go 'oh they could have written this differently. but this isn't that version of the story' and then just carry on and not let that other version of how things could have gone haunt your experience. sometimes you have to go 'wow that was kind of dumb' and then just integrate the understanding that the thing you're watching/playing/reading is gonna be kind of dumb sometimes and keep going anyway. and it won't always work out this way, but sometimes you're gonna get a lot more entertainment and joy out of a thing by doing that than by keeping score in your head of the things it's doing 'wrong' or whatever, and I think enjoying a thing for what it is can be a much better use of your time than criticizing it for what it isn't, you know? we're not all film critics. we're not all book reviewers. we don't always need to give a measurement of the quality of everything we experience. you can just experience it. you know?
#x: axel talks#idk man maybe I'm sick of looking for fandom stuff and seeing people complaining about this and that is so bad and awful and stupid and lik#you don't have to like it. but maybe you'd have a better time if you weren't going into it trying to judge if it's 'good' or not idk#was this movie good? idk but I had a good time! you know?#'wow this comic run is so out of character what garbage' ok it's ooc. I'll keep that in mind. might still be fun tho#you know?????#tbh I'm not saying don't do this ever. I just think it's worth trying out the idea of oh it's kinda bad. keep going anyway#maybe it doesn't do anything for you or maybe you get a good time out of it. idk#but my entertainment experience improved significantly when I started to just. accept that sometimes a story will do thinks in a way#that I think would have been better a different way but this isn't that and that doesn't mean I can't get anything out of this the way it i
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