#i was obsessed with it and the ending broke me
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qu1cks1lversb1tch · 2 days ago
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Hoping that this isn't weird but IMAGINE Vox having everything, fame, money, power, but he loses the one thing he treasures the most on extermination day– his family. Like imagine if Vox and his pregnant wife had this hugee argument before extermination day causing her to storm out of the tower, but he didn't chase her cause it was just probably the hormones and she'd come back. But she didn't manage to come back in time. So Vox had to wait in the tower cause he couldn't go out and pray that she was okay. After the extermination, he of course went ballistic trying to find her, jumping from camera to camera until he found her corpse in some random dark alley. What would be the aftermath? I HOPE THIS ISNT WEIRD I JUST CRAVEE ANGST ‼️‼️😭
A/N — I rewrote this a total of four times 😭 I hope this satisfies your need for angst, my lovely anon. This is the one my sister finally approved for everyone to see. Poor kid hates reading my fanfic and she's been subjected to being my conscience while I wrote this. I had to bribe her with coffee and a 20 piece nugget from McDonald's to get her to read more than a paragraph 😭
Fade To Black
Warnings: ANGST, pregnancy, Fem!Reader, loss of wife + child, Vox in denial, got kinda dark with the implications at the end(?), Alastor is mentioned a few times. Guys, I'm literally so sorry
Word Count: 1.2K
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“You're not listening to me!” You reiterated for what felt like the billionth time, your gaze momentarily darting to the small curve of your stomach where one of your hands rested securely, the other on your hip.
Vox sighed, exasperated. “Listen, Doll, I'm hearing what you're saying and—”
“—That's exactly the problem! You're hearing what I'm saying but you're not actually listening to me, Vox! For Hell's sake, step away from your work and weird obsession with the Radio Demon for two seconds and focus on what's important!” 
The words felt like knives as you spoke them, each one spearing the air of the penthouse. The room fell silent. The other vees were no stranger to the arguments that broke out, hell, they were a part of most of them. . . But not this one. . . Vox stiffened and squared his shoulders. 
“My work is important. My work is what allows us to live the afterlife we do.” He said, his tone firm, almost condescending. 
“And what about your obsession, huh? Watching the rinky-dink hotel cameras in your office after hours for a glimpse of that antlered little freak who doesn't give a shit about you — when you should be home, here, with me?” 
You waited for an answer, yet Vox only stared at you. It was painfully clear that he didn't know what to say. “Lucifer's tits — fuck you!” You hissed, throwing your hands up in the air, showing just how done you were with all of this.
The next moment, you were turning on your heel and storming out of the room. 
Vox only scoffed and dropped onto the couch, watching as you walked away. Hormones. He thought to himself. It had to be.
He'd never seen you so worked up about his late nights at the office. Never seen you so angry when referencing Alastor, who had once been a good friend and mentor to you. 
Hormones. It was the only logical explanation, right?
He let you go, knowing you needed your space. . . Knowing you'd come home once you cleared your head and had just enough patience to once again approach the topic with a semi-level head, likely once the extermination was over.
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You knew the moment you cleared the doors of the tower that you had likely overreacted. The hot, dry air of Hell against your skin seemed to bring the realization to the forefront of your mind. 
Yet it was pride and stubbornness that kept you from turning back to the tower, rather storming through the desolate back alleyways, a metaphorical thundercloud looming over your head.
Vox hadn't followed you, and you weren't about to give him the satisfaction of going back. You loved him, and you knew he loved you too — as shocking as it was that the two of you found genuine love in Hell.
As much as you loved him, he infuriated you, even more so now that you were carrying his child. . . 
The carnage of Extermination Day met your ears and your steps faltered, drawing you to a stop as your instincts then screamed at you to go home. To go where it was safe. 
Safe. 
Safe at Vox's side. At home. . .
How could you have forgotten what day it was? The anger. It had to have been the reason for your lapse in memory. . . So you began heading back towards the tower. 
Pride and stubbornness be damned.
Sticking to the shadows, you ventured forward towards the net of safety that you so desperately needed.
So close, yet so far.
Too far. 
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It'd been too long. 
You'd been gone too long. 
The moment Extermination Day had been declared finished, Vox was out looking for you. Every camera on every street he could possibly reach. 
Every sinner he found dead and dying in the streets, he hoped he wouldn't see your face. Your beautiful face. . . The thought alone made something twist in his gut like a double edged blade — fear, he recognized. 
Pure unbridled fear. 
Fear of losing you. Fear of losing the two most important beings in his entire afterlife. 
He searched for what seemed like forever, until he caught a glimpse of you in an alleyway, almost entirely hidden from view. He easily recognized your clothes you had been wearing that day and your hair — oh, how he loved that hair. 
Relief flooded him as he rushed towards you, though it disappeared, his heart plummeting as he dropped to his knees.
“Hey, Doll, wake up. . . It's okay, it's over.” He said, his voice shaky as his hands came up to either side of your face. 
“You did good. . . You played dead so you could survive. They're gone now — you can open your eyes, Doll. . . Please open your eyes. . .” He begged softly, his touch and voice becoming more frantic.
“No, no, no, open your eyes for me, okay? I know you're mad at me, Doll, I'm sorry. . . I'm so sorry. . . Wake up. . . Wake up. . . Wake up. . .” He pulled your body closer to his, clutching you close. One hand held the back of your head to his chest, the other trailed down to your stomach. 
Too many emotions clawed at him as he begged you to wake up, to give up the charade. . . He made promises to make it up to you. He'd spend more time at home with you. He'd give up on his obsession with Alastor. He'd do it. He would do it for you. . . 
But it was too late. . . The blood that soaked your clothes and his was a chilling reminder. . . The all powerful TV Demon choked out a sob as your skin turned cold beneath his hands. 
His world stopped spinning, the axis snapping and floating off into the abyss as he held you close. . . He wasn't used to feeling your skin cold. He was used to the warmth, the life, the light that came from you. 
He couldn't feel you. 
And it killed him. 
He couldn't breathe. His chest ached. Nothing in all of Hell mattered more than you. More than the child that had been created out of love and the use of a loophole within Hell's complex laws of nature. 
And now it had been ripped away from him. He hated himself. He was angry. 
It felt as if the light and warmth had been sucked out of his universe, leaving nothing but cold darkness that seeped into his very soul, gnawing at him, tearing him apart from the inside out. 
He could hardly remember his afterlife before you. Now, facing a reality where he'd have to live in an afterlife without you. . . It consumed him in all the wrong ways. . . 
He wanted you back. 
He needed you back. 
Yet the darkness that gnawed and clawed at his entire being, the absence of you — your light that was supposed to guide him through this perpetual landscape of flame and rot for all eternity. . . The shadows remained like a constant reminder, a plague of its own, slowly eating away at him at every opportunity. 
Without your light, he was nothing. 
Without your laugh, he was nothing. 
Without your attitude, he was nothing. 
Without your warmth, he was nothing.
Nothing more than a shell of the overlord he used to be. . . And when the shadows clawed at his mind like a beast seeking a debt to be paid, he let them win. 
He let it all fade to black. 
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boxwinebaddie · 3 days ago
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*awkward boyfaill!stan doing the sexc smoke and mirrors vegetarian siren raven vc a.k.a the kenny cosplay vc and wearing the tiny boytoy monster high doll outfit e.t. ten shoehorned him into against his will*
hola, engenra de amanecer, or rather, my dearest dalingest dawn spawn. well, it only took me...a whole damn month, but at long last, i present to you, my magnum (d)op(e)us, the clusterfuck that is...
The Official RM Playlist.
there are, quite literally, 150? i think...songs on it ( rip ). i was very passionate about it and tried to put all the songs in chronological order, but obviously there are a ton of gaps in it/contains references to scenes that i either touched on briefly a long time ago or not at all,
so feel free to send in asks with questions about what corresponds with what on the playlist; i'd be happy to oblige. it's a little choatic and cringe, but she is my baby, mi amor, mi vida. <3
but now, my darlings, as always, i'm sorry or you're welcome, i hope you heal, i hope you enjoy the very worst part of your day, and, finally, i hope you rem(ember)ed to pack a nightlight, dear listeners,
Because It's Always Darkest...
BEFORE.
CRIMSON.
D A W N.
#*ravenstan estañol vc* aNYTHING FOR SELENAS xx ;) <3#listen the rs cd covers of selena songs mean everything to me#y’all just have to endure the pop punk taylor swift covers#they are my legacy#also the jerseykyle interlude? obsessed#i love my insane deranged man eating boyslut succubus son#he is so crying lighting i literally can’t#it switches pov a million times i am so sorry#i tried to make it make sense rip#ALSO THE TOXIC COVER AT THE CD SHOW????#yOOOOOO!!! I KNOW THAT WAS THE MOST INSANE SEXUALLY CHARGED PREFORMANCE OF ALL TIME#that man is flat like b.o.b thinks the earth is but he was throwin that thang#and dropping it lower than hell god bless#I TOO WOULD PASS OUT JERSEYKYLE#faint was so unserious i am so sorry#all the songs at the end are also mad unserious i put them there for giggles#the 27 arc towards the top? painful! Excruiating!#just like heaven being mirrored#also i was trying to transition the marjorine a indoctrination party scene#into her preforming into the weird cartman scene into greenhouse scene#into the rs/jk really intense reveal scene#and tried to dictate when they were secretly dating to when they broke up#and where the sp trip started there are lots of holes there#IM SORRY I JUST DIED IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT AND BULLETPROOF#I WAS DYING BROTHER ( not as much as jk rip icon )#ALSO THE DANCING QUEEN COVER AT THE WINTER FORMAL#CRYING AND THROWING UP AND ALSO BETTY#PAINFUL#the songs going from happy and cute to fuckingg miserable#i forgot i also made a section for the chapter 4 fb ( crying )
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jbaileyfansite · 3 days ago
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USA Today Interview (2024)
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For Jonathan Bailey, one of the biggest perks of starring in a massive franchise is getting your very own Lego figure.
The British actor, who plays the swoony prince Fiyero in “Wicked,” is featured in a 945-piece plastic Emerald City set. Although he has yet to procure the toy metropolis for himself, “Christmas is coming and I hope I’ve been a good boy this year,” Bailey says with a grin.
The impish heartthrob has been using Legos to unwind while on a weekslong promotional tour for the blockbuster movie musical, which tells the origin story of the witches of Oz. “Just last night, I managed to (put together) the Atlantic Ocean in this giant Lego globe that I’m currently building,” he delightedly explains.
The fantasy film caps off a monumental year for Bailey, 36, who earned an Emmy nomination for his devastating work in Showtime miniseries “Fellow Travelers,” and spent the summer in Thailand shooting “Jurassic World: Rebirth” (in theaters July 2, 2025) alongside Scarlett Johansson.
“It’s extraordinary the types of roles I’ve been able to play these last two years,” says Bailey, who broke through to U.S. audiences on Netflix phenom “Bridgerton” in 2020. “I’m pinching myself. If I could have gone back and told my younger self that this would be happening, I’d probably do a flip.”
Jonathan Bailey brings 'boyish charm' to 'Wicked' prince Fiyero
Bailey is no stranger to musical theater: At just 8 years old, he played the pint-sized revolutionary Gavroche in “Les Misérables” on London’s West End. And in 2019, he won an Olivier Award for a gender-swapped revival of Stephen Sondheim’s “Company,” singing the mile-a-minute “Getting Married Today.”
But it was a viral audition tape for the musical “The Last Five Years” that caught the attention of “Wicked” director Jon M. Chu. “It felt like the thing I’ve always loved about musicals, where the song is just an extension of the dialogue. It felt like acting,” Chu recalls. “He just has that X factor. There’s such a boyish charm to him that you’re like, ‘That is Fiyero.’”
Like many, Bailey became obsessed with “Wicked” thanks to its Broadway cast album and 2004 Tony Awards performance with Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth. “The lyrics are so fascinating and witty,” Bailey says. “I remember laughing specifically at Glinda singing how this hat is ‘really, uh, sharp, don’t you think?’ I screamed!”
When the contumacious Fiyero arrives at Shiz University from Winkie Country, he instantly enchants the besotted Glinda (Ariana Grande), but slowly finds himself drawn to the green-skinned Elphaba (Cynthia Erivo). He also freely flirts with both his male and female classmates.
“Fiyero is confident and curious and kind enough to invite anyone to Winkie Country,” Bailey says cheekily. But as a gay actor, he’s grateful for the “years and years of progress” that have allowed him to be the leading man in a big-budget movie like “Wicked.”  
“There's been many Fiyeros before me, and many members of the LGBT community who have fought for times where someone like me could play these parts,” Bailey says. "This story resonates for so many people because it’s about identity and celebrates our similarities. In playing Fiyero, you realize what an ally he is to someone who’s outside of society. People are incredibly unkind to Elphaba, and he uses his charm and privilege” to help her feel accepted. “It’s really lovely.”
The 'Bridgerton' dreamboat heads to 'Jurassic World' next
“There's been many Fiyeros before me, and many members of the LGBT community who have fought for times where someone like me could play these parts,” Bailey says. "This story resonates for so many people because it’s about identity and celebrates our similarities. In playing Fiyero, you realize what an ally he is to someone who’s outside of society. People are incredibly unkind to Elphaba, and he uses his charm and privilege” to help her feel accepted. “It’s really lovely.”
The 'Bridgerton' dreamboat heads to 'Jurassic World' next
Bailey delivers one of the movie’s standout numbers in “Dancing Through Life,” in which Fiyero persuades his schoolmates to join him for a night on the town at the trendy Ozdust Ballroom. The song begins in the Shiz library, where Fiyero swings between ladders, slides across desks, and flips through novels using only his feet. The actor spent seven weeks rehearsing the choreography, much of which takes place on rotating bookshelves.
“It turns out in Fiyero’s boots, it’s not so easy to open books and read ‘War and Peace’ with your toes,” Bailey jokes. “I also started training vocally over Zoom while I was filming ‘Fellow Travelers.’ I would do these scenes with Matt Bomer where I’d be smoking and screaming, and then I’d have to come back and sing somehow.”
Ultimately, making "Wicked" helped Bailey feel more at ease taking on the beloved "Jurassic Park" series, in which he plays a bespectacled paleontologist named Dr. Henry Loomis.
“Dancing and closing books with your toes does not save you from raptors,” Bailey quips. “ ’Wicked’ is its own beautiful beast, but it leans so much on the original imagery of ‘The Wizard of Oz.’ It taught me to blur out the reality of what it means to step into an incredibly iconic story, and just focus on working hard and having a lot of fun."
Bailey teases that he has another musical project “on the horizon.” In the meantime, Fiyero will have a more substantial role in "Wicked: Part Two" (in theaters Nov. 21, 2025), which shot back-to-back with the first movie. He still regrets not taking home the character's black leather boots, created by "genius" costume designer Paul Tazewell.
“I did manage to steal some postcards from the Emerald City,” Bailey says. “Some of those accidentally flew off in the middle of a take and landed in my bag. Other than that, I hope Paul will send me Fiyero’s tight pants one day."
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endless-ineffabilities · 11 hours ago
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#1. fish — a jack schlossblurb
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the start of a jack x reader blurb series! #2. crisis of masculinity will be up next. if you've got suggestions, send over a word or phrase that I can write up a blurb over. and remember to water the root, not the fruit! happy Jacksgiving!!
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"Heartbreak sucks. Getting broken up with sucks." You hear Jack start yet another spiel from the living room, and you walk over to find him doing his usual. His phone held out in front of him, acting out a skit—shaking his head as if disappointed. Heartbroken, you could say. Running a hand down his face. Leaning back and dislodging his trucker cap.
Your boyfriend loves the camera, and more so, he's fucking obsessed with the sound of his own voice.
Your cheeks puff as you hold in a laugh. You take a slow sip of your tea to reign yourself in, watching the chaos unfold.
"If they didn't wanna be with you, they're so dumb," he continues. Tell em, hotshot. Speak your truth.
He audibly groans, head shooting in your direction. And you realise you just said that out loud.
"Baaabe! You ruined my take!" he whines.
"Hey, don't come for me, alright? And by the way, should I be concerned? Who broke your heart?"
"You, last night, when you didn't let me do that thing," he shakes his head, fidgeting with his phone as he sets up for another take.
"I was tired! Unlike you, I work a 9 to 5."
"You know I can work you longer than 9 to 5," he smirks, puckering his lips at you.
You feign annoyance, rolling your eyes, but you love his antics. With Jack, no day is boring. Just ridiculous, but you'll take it. "Okay, yuck. Not in front of my ginger tea."
He's got his arm outstretched again, but he clears his throat and looks at you expectantly.
"What now?"
He juts his chin out and makes a kissy face. You sigh in exasperation. And affection. Those two tend to go hand in hand with your very own Little Edie.
So you give him the peck he asks for. His rough hand snakes its way to the back of your neck as you bend down, his lips parting wide to take you in. "Mmm, gingery," he wags his eyebrows when you pull back.
"Go on. Finish your video."
"Oh, damn. Babe, I had already pressed record. Can I keep our kiss in? It would be good for generating traffic, getting people's attention—"
"Jack, don't you fucking dare." You warn, but of course he wouldn't do that. It would ruin the credibility of his heartbreak speech.
He ends it just a moment later. "... if it wasn't working. Then good. Be happy. Move on. There are other fish."
"There are other fish," he repeats, when you plop down on his lap, his phone discarded somewhere on the couch and well out of the way. "But not for me. It's just you, babe. Just you."
"You're so dramatic, Schlossberg."
"What, you think I'm kidding? I'm serious all the time," he counters.
"Sure you are, bud."
"By the way, it's your day off. So... will you let me do that thing now?"
You can only stare at him blankly. "Maybe."
"Good, then. Let me eat your a—"
"As soon as I finish my tea."
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kkcauseway · 2 days ago
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Time Is Of The Essence
Joel Miller x pregnant f!reader
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Summary: Joel's on a patrol when you go into labour and ends up missing the birth of his daughter. But it doesn't take him long to get back and the aftermath is so frigin cute! Content/warnings: aftermath of childbirth- talks of placenta. Its just full of a load of rootin' tootin' fluff- honestly I'm obsessed with daddy Joel Miller he's adorable. Joel Miller being the best dad to his new baby. Joel Miller having such big palms that the baby basically fits in one. After outbreak, no use of y/n. A/N: I am obsessed with this fic oh my god!!! Also fun fact when i decided on the baby name I wasn't originally going to go for it but when I googled names meaning hope it was the first to appear and I knew it was a sign, and really I think it makes the fic ten times cuter! I really really hope you enjoy!!
Going into labour whilst Joel is out on patrol is the last thing that’s supposed to happen. He’s not meant to miss the birth of his child; part of the reason he is the man he is today. Part of the reason he’s finally stopped beating himself up and allowed himself to have a normal life. To be happy. He deserves it too and you’ve always made sure he knows it.
They’d already been out on patrol for a while when your waters suddenly broke and as much as you tried radioing it was to no avail, they were too far out to catch a signal, so it was very much a waiting game. Thankfully, you had Maria at your side, and she aided you through every part, the best kind of birthing partner with her having not long gone through it when she had her and Tommy’s son.
The baby comes fast all in all your labour is maybe only four hours, and when word finally got to Joel that he needed to come back him, and Tommy raced to make it.
Joel rushes in the door “I’m here I’m here!” He screams running over to where you’re lay on the couch still with your legs apart the baby screaming in your arms freshly wrapped having only been on the earth a few minutes. Sweat is dripping down your face as you coo at the bundle, Maria is behind you peering at the baby over your shoulder.
You’re still crying reeling from the fact your baby is finally here as you grin so wide at him, and he kneels on the floor next to you.
“Oh my god” he lifts his hand to brush over his new babies head.
“Daddy, meet your daughter.”
“S’a girl?” He chokes on the words and turns to look at you his eyes glossy.
“Yeah baby.” You nod trying your best to hold it back.
But when a few tears escape him, you can’t help the way you’re bawling again. You know how difficult this is for him, opening his heart up to another child.
You continue to support your daughter in one arm bringing the hand of the other up to brush away the tears and he closes his eyes leaning into the touch as he lets the floodgates fully open. Not a care in the world that Tommy and Maria are present. He leans in close to your chest tears dropping off the tip of his nose as he stares down at the now calm bundle of joy who’s freshly opening her eyes and staring right back up to him. Her tiny feet kicking out of the end of the blanket and he’s absolutely enthralled with her.
The nurse, Cassie who’s just finished sanitising a few things in the kitchen comes back and smiles noticing everyone here.
She moves back over to you leaning over the back of the couch to peer down at your daughter. “Congratulations she’s gorgeous.”
“Thank you” you reply in unison.
“Okay sweetie I just need to make sure everything’s okay with you and that this placenta is coming okay. You gonna be okay for me to check?”
“Honestly I couldn’t care less what you do right now she’s here.” You chuckle not taking your eyes off your content little bundle.
“She’s here” Joel adds kissing at your temple, before staring back down at her as she pushes her little tongue. Her piercing blue eyes explore her surroundings.
“Take her” you whisper to him, your temples touching as you stare down at her.
“Yeah?” He pulls away to look at you.
“Yeah, baby she’s yours too.” You chuckle.
He smiles as he pulls slightly away from you, jumping slightly when you wince. “Okay?”
“Yeah, just a cramp.” You groan.
“Just your placenta on its way honey nothing to worry about” Cassie looks up from between your blanket covered legs.
“Why don’t you do some skin-on-skin Joel?” She adds before getting back to business
He seems shy, but nods. “Oh yeah, good idea.” He rips his shift over his head that will never get old and then carefully takes his daughter from you. Helping to cover your chest back up with the blanket in the process so you’re decent. He’s so careful in how he holds her and how he moves with her over to the armchair. He sits himself back puts his legs up on the footrest and careful manoeuvres her to be laid against him. Head resting to one side, she snuggles into his warmth.
He bends his neck down to kiss the top of her head as you watch the most beautiful moment unfold. It completely distracts you from the cramping and uncomfortable feeling of delivering your placenta and before you know it, it’s over.
“You’re the perfect patient” Cassie utters as she wraps the placenta into a bunch of newspaper ready to take to the greenhouses to use as a fertiliser. “No stitches, no complications and you’re both doing perfectly.”
“She’s perfect.” He utters kissing her head again.
She stands helping you to carefully lay your legs flat on the couch to get more comfortable. She  claps her hands together as she basks in how much love there is in the room. “Well I think my work here is done, if you need anything in the night give me a shout but I think you’ve got enough help round here that I won’t be needed.” She looks around the room to Joel, Tommy, and Maria.
“Thank you for everything Cassie.” You call to her.
“My pleasure.”
“Thank you for all you did and helpin’ her when I weren’t here Cass.” Joel utters from his chair his eyes still on your daughter.
“Of course.”
“Here I’ll show you out.” Tommy utters moving to place a hand on her back once she’s collected her things.
“Do you want me to cook you something, you hungry?” Maria quizzes.
You groan in absolute delight. “Fuck yes please Maria, I think I love you forever.”
“Anything in particular?”
“Honestly Maria I don’t care, everything you make is so good.”
She chuckles, “okay fine I’ll get to it. Joel, you want anything?”
“M’good here thanks.” He utters stroking at his daughters back.
She chuckles noticing Tommy making his way back and drags him along with her once she moves to the kitchen. You can tell he’s not happy about being stripped away from his newborn niece but at the same time you are grateful for having a little time to bask in all of this just the three of you.
Watching the love of your life become a father really is the most precious thing, this isn’t his first rodeo, but you know it’s different this time. Every detail of his behaviour towards her is beautiful. His need to hold her tight, to make sure she’s warm, happy, and content.
The room is silent as he tickles at her back her entire body seemingly fitting in his large palm. You listen in tune to her coos as he continues to stroke her.
However, it doesn’t take long till she begins getting grouchy clearly hungry. So Joel carefully stands with her in his arms and brings her back over to you. “Lil miss is definitely hungry.”
“Seems that way” you chuckle. “Will you get her a diaper too? Otherwise I don’t see this ending well.”
“Sure. Want me to quickly do that first?”
“Please. Think there’s an outfit on the changing table for her too.”
He nods. “Of course ma’am.” And he walks to the changing table ever so gently placing her down before placing one onto her tiny body.
“Baby she’s so darn small.”
“I know.”
He mumbles to her softly as he dresses her in a tiny pink outfit fit with mittens to stop her scratching herself. Thankfully, he’s able to keep her calm the entire time but as if she knows all that needs to be done has been done, she begins screaming again.
“Okay baby come on.” He murmurs as he places her against his chest, chin resting against his shoulder as her body curls into a tiny ball.
So beautiful.
He’s quick to come back over to you and hands her to you. “Good ol’ set of lungs on her.”
“She has us as her parents I don’t know why you’d expect her to be anything other than loud.” You chuckles as you move the blanket back off your chest to place her comfortably at your breast. She’s already finishing around for the nipple as you bring her closer and once, she gets it into her mouth she instantly suckles.
It hurts, of course it does, this is the first ever time your body has done anything like this. And it doesn’t go unnoticed.
“You, okay?” He quizzes from beside you.
“Yeah, I promise it’s just a bit weird.”
“Will get easier every time baby.”
“It’s worth it for her I don’t mind” you smile at him before turning your attention back to your daughter drinking as though she’s desperate.
He follows your gaze and gently brushes a knuckle over her cheek. “She needs a name.”
You hum “yeah, she does.” And that’s when you get the best idea in your head “you pick.”
That stops him in his tracks and his eyes shoot up to yours. “Me?”
“Yeah baby, give her a name you know Sarah would love for her little sister, a name that makes you happy.”
He nods his eyes glossy once more as he contemplates the reminder of his loss whilst also basking in the presence of his new hope, fresh start.
He looks back at her and you can’t help watching the struggle on his face as he fusses over again whilst thinking, but you notice the exact moment he decides.
“Ellie, cus she brought this big bright shining light into our lives.”
Ellie Miller, it’s perfect.
“It’s so perfect baby I love it.” He looks up at you and smiles moving to kiss you.
“Thank you f’givin’ her to me.” He whispers as he moves to rest his forehead against yours “thank you so fuckin’ much baby.”
“You don’t ever have to thank me, Joel Miller. I love you.”
“I love you so much I think m’gonna burst.” He chuckles “fuck what are you doin’ t’me?” he pulls away to wipe at a few more tears and then his attention is right back on his girl.
His beautiful healthy baby girl.
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kimvvantae · 1 year ago
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I just finished ch.4 of Saudade & I need to lay down for 15 minutes I am gaggGGED. The world building is incredibly creative, a highlight for me! Is there something that inspired you to write saudade, like a book or movie?
Keep it up never stop making stories or else😠💖💖!
Hello angel!! I'm glad you like saudade, thank you so so much!!
I took a bit of inspo from Vampire Knight (the manga), about how only a specific "kind" of vampire can turn others into vampires, and the bit where drinking the winter lord's blood can keep a regular vampire "sane". The other stuff came from my brain, though most of it doesn't stray away from common vampire lore :) Also the sound the servant marionettes make? It's supposed to sound like Sasori's puppets from Naruto. I just couldn't think of anything else lmao
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guinevereslancelot · 9 months ago
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what was with cameron house md she spends 90% of the episode saying she wants their patient to die bc he's a genocidal dictator and her colleague husband says "babe it bothers me for ethical reasons that you want our patient to die :(" and she said "hm maybe you're right :/" but when it comes down to it the genocidal dictator lays a finger on her in an aggressive manner and chase instantly commits medical malpractice to murder the guy and then when he tells her she LEAVES HIM bc boo hoo he's a murderer now like GIRL he killed a man for you!!! he's wracked with catholic guilt!!! he's being crushed beneath the weight of his sins because he chose his devotion to you over his devotion to god!!! he literally could not get any sexier at this moment in time!!!
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seaweedstarshine · 5 months ago
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Thinking about the convolution of Eleventh Doctor's expressions of love for River Song in Season 7B. He does not trust Clara. He is utterly (wrongly) convinced that he and Clara are playing a grand manipulative game together. “What are you, eh?! A trick? A trap?!!”
So naturally, the last thing he should do in this game is to clue his opponent in on something that could be used to hurt him. Something like River, so painfully near the end of their time together, whose data ghost he can always see, who “it would hurt too much” to acknowledge. He can't let Clara know of the loss which constantly floods his senses; (“You are always here to me. And I always listen, and I can always see you,” he professes, once Clara has vanished into his timestream).
And yet. River fills his every moment (irregardless of any sneaking out for dates with increasingly-young Rivers while Clara is asleep like he did while the Ponds slept, which would explain his absence when the TARDIS is hiding Clara's bedroom). Even though it's not strategic, he can’t help but tell Clara about her. The best defense he can manage is to phrase it as if River isn’t as important to him as she is. Not only is avoiding her first name in his grief; he's also completely avoiding pronouns; which seems extreme given that he's still mentioning her as often as: “Oh yeah, of course he has! Professor Song! Sorry, it's just I never realized you were a woman.”
Leave out the emotion — leave out the details — don't show the cracks in the armor — play the part — win the game.
“Well, there's no point now. We're about to die. JUST TELL ME WHO YOU ARE.”
#I mean we KNOW that the doctor immediately started pouring his hearts out to Clara as soon as NotD ended <3#Clara tells the war doctor “he's always talking about the day he did it” okay so he's always talking about it starting after the prev ep#eleventh doctor#river song#clara oswald#words by seaweed#yeah I know the implication in Name of the Doctor is that eleven is two-timing them / worried abt Clara being jealous. which. eh. maybe.#but I like this better. also both things can be true if we want them to be#eleven is in SUCH a bad way in Season 7B too he needs to be held#“I thought it would hurt too much and I was right” ever think about how Clara was there for in the deepest moments of his grief?#whether his sad victorian cloud… on the Last Day… or on the day he was finally able to say Rivers name. he thought it would hurt too much#Tia made a really insightful post recently about how eleven can’t speak rivers name when she's gone and like. god. yeah.#it also made me think about. who would he even talk to River about? if he could? after years on a cloud drowning in her present nonpresence#ever think how if HoRS had happened before Hell Bent he never could've dealt with it and coulda broke the universe for River instead#Series 9 was a continuation/escelation of eleven's (and next twelve's) “he hates endings” - endings for Amy and Rory. for River. for Clara.#he hit rock bottom. and then Clara saved him#“You said memories become stories when we forget them. Maybe some of them become Songs.”#thank you Clara <3#one episode later:#“When the wind stands fair and the night is perfect when you least expect it but always when you need it the most- there is a Song.”#bc this is NOT to undervalue the Doctor's love for Clara he has a Duty of Care she's more Breakable than him (also than river!)#but it can it really be a coincidence? bc he is talking abt river in the second one. unless Moffat is obsessed with Song imagery? I MEAN
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jakowskis · 11 months ago
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"i hated owen for all/most of s1 i only started liking him in s2" weak. i liked owen since he got choked against a wall by an angry woman and then told her he wanted to shag her immediately afterwards. and then even more when he spent ep3 trying to intimidate and murder a rapist
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mariocki · 1 month ago
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Shadows of Fear: Did You Lock Up? (1.1, Thames, 1970)
"And they didn't make much mess?"
"No, not really. They forced that door. Smashed the cabinet, slashed a sofa. And kicked a hole in the bedroom door."
"Ah. Big mistake."
"What is?"
"Never lock inside doors. Anything you can to keep them out - but when they're in, let 'em get on with it."
"I'll remember."
#shadows of fear#single play#roger marshall#1970#classic tv#thames#kim mills#michael craig#gwen watford#ray smith#mark mcmanus#malcolm kaye#charles leno#having come to something of a premature pause in my New Scotland Yard watch (the first ep of series 3 isn't on the YT playlist I've been#using and is proving quite tricky to get ahold of) i thought I'd revisit this brief lived anthology series for the creepy season. i first#watched this about 10 years ago and my memories of it are scant to say the least‚ so it seemed like good viewing for the season#the production history of SoF is lost in the mists of time (unless someone out there wishes to enlighten me?); this first episode was shown#in June of 1970‚ but the rest didn't follow until January of the following year; probably this acted as a sort of pilot to gauge viewer#reactions to another vaguely horrorish anthology series (the previous decade had been ripe with them‚ tho we rarely see their like today)#and then there's the odd case of the final ep‚ shown almost 2 years after the series ended and running to half the length (and generally#feeling like an entirely different format) but I'll come to that when (and if) i get to the episode itself. this debut ep is... well it's#fine. i was excited to see Marshall's name in the opening credits‚ one of the most dependable of old tv writers and I'd quite forgotten he#contributed to this show. but the issue here is simply one of length. the plot is solid‚ a suitably grotty little tale of a family man's#mounting obsession with the burglars who broke into his home. it would make a good ep of Tales of Unease (shortly to begin on Thames'#sister broadcaster LWT) or a few years later as an episode of Tales of the Unexpected; both being 25 minute shows. but this clocks in at#close to 50 mins and there isn't really enough to it to sustain that longer running time‚ leaving it feeling a little stretched thin and#flimsy. a shame‚ because Craig and Watford are putting in excellent performances as the middle class couple whose reactions to the burglary#slowly shift as time passes (he goes from prosaic acceptance to fixated malice‚ she from shocked indignation to making peace with it all)#no big surprises in where the play is headed or how it plays out‚ but that's often the case with these things; it's often just as much#about the horrible foreknowledge of what must come than some shocking twist‚ and this plays it about right. it's just too long is all.
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thebigqueer · 3 months ago
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maybe the reason im so upset about it isnt cuz she broke up wme but because all that waiting over the summer just feels so worthelss now. like i know we couldnt talk as much or be around each other as much but i was waitingall summer like when we get back all we'll do is be together!!!! all of the 'new relationship syndrome especially now that its long distance' stuff will be fixed when we get back!! but were over and theres no chanec of fixing it because were over and its just like what if we waited what if we just figured it out for another few weeksand see where it went form there
#its not just that its also cuz she knew she wouldnt have a lot oftiem in the semester & also shes entitled to her experiences but its like#all summer we talked aboutall the things wed do together whenwe got back to campus so its like#all of that imagining is going to waste you know. and it makes me really really sad#cuz we had so many plans only for all of them to go in the air a week before school starts#and i guess i feel let down about all of it (which isnt her fault) because why did we say all that only for us to break up :(#and she told me breaking up was something sehd only recently started thinking about so its like#the emotional part of me is wondering why cant we just wait it out for a few weeks and find out of this is really worth saving you know#cuz it just feels so sudden like we werent meant to end just yet#it doesnt feel right. like we literally only just started you know#and she said she didnt feel like dragging me along whiel she figured shit out#which is kind btu i guess to me its like i would prefer being dragged along because at least then ill start to feel the pain of it too#cuz where we are right now i didnt even feel any sort of weirdness i thought everything was going so well#like id rather break up when i do feel something bad#not BEFORE i feel something bad you know???#but also its more than just about that. like she told me that she felt werid and i dont think she would have broken up with me for no reaso#like im sure she did it becuase she felt right about it and im not mad at her about it#im just really really sad cuz i really thought we were doing so good. like just last week she was saying how much she missedme#sorry ugh i know im ranting so much about it but i dont feel like bringing this up with my friends yet cuz its just so embarrinsg being lik#hey so you know how totally obsessed we were with each other. well we broke up not even 5 months later haha so embarrsing#like it all just feels like... what did we do all that for!!! what did we spend all summer telling each other we loved each other for!#but again just cuz i didnt feel like it was the end doesnt mean she didn't. she did say she felt werid but ughhhh i dont fucking know#im just really surprised and sad about it
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kjzx · 8 months ago
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I've been thinking a lot about my sexuality these last few years, I'd even say sometimes obsessing to an unhealthy degree, and I think I've come in terms with the fact I almost certainly am bisexual and denying that is pretty lesbophobic and frankly dumb in many ways, and mainly cruel towards myself. Gonna be reading up on internalized biphobia and whatnot
#Turns out men around me just suck#And men that are thirsted over most of the time do too#Alright they don't meet my preferences**#No toxicity here everyone's valid#I have had my reasons to think I'm gay and I don't think I was that 'delusional' (idk a better way to say it) thinking that I am gay#But the more I move forward the more I realize I'm just lying to myself#I don't have to date men or be interested in what most people think is attractive in men to be bisexual and that's alright#I am a little disappointed in the way bisexuals are treated in certain lgbt+ spaces specifically chronically online ones#Is it cringe to admit that the thing that broke the camel's back was a fandom meta post where the author said that people in fandom#can't tolerate bi characters/HCs because the idea of a character having history is repulsive to younger fans that want there to be one and#only love interest. Or smth along these lines. That resonated with me. I have no clue why tho. I don't have much history with anyone myself#Aside from a homoerotic childhood friendship or two (celibacy sweep)#Not just that there were a lot of good points made but yeah. Fun things#I have a feeling I'll continue obsessing over this stuff#Obsession grind never ends babyyy 💯💪#It does feel nice to admit to things I like without feeling like I have some sort of reverse religious trauma#the center of it being one ultimate queer experience and if you've straighted you're condemned to be seen as a straight by gays#for all eternity#Bisexual#Bi pride#//rambles
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neonbodyache · 2 months ago
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omad is cute but i grew up in the kind of poverty where often enough that was the only option so it rllllly doesn’t work as a diet for me i am the exact opposite. the miniest of meals spread through the day keeps the b1nge at bay. I will stretch those cals in obscene ways
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madoumonogatarirunelord · 8 months ago
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I just...
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Him.
(MY FRIEND KILLED A WORM IN FRONT OF ME AND I LITERALLY STARTED CRYING I AM LITERALLY SIG NOW.)
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fallingtheseus · 9 months ago
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“bastard son of a bastard son of
a wild eyed child of the sun”
i posted a speedpaint talking about this character, so if u wanna here abt that here’s the link :b
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ikyw-t · 1 year ago
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y'know I think about this tweet often. I don't think truer words have ever been spoken....
#had a whole mini rant that i wrote and then deleted lol..........#no one else may know his shitty he was but i will always know and i shall absolutely not forgive or forget#however i do still start seething on occasion when i remember that after we broke up for years i never thought of him at all#except when i pass his street on occasion bc he happens to live nearby which is very ughhh but it's mostly whatever#and then out of the blue in early 2021 he texted and CALLED me (i did not answer. what a fucking jumpscare jfc)#to tell me he had been stalking my spotify playlists and saving them and#even had the fuuuuucking audacity. to think they were a personal message in a bottle just for him.#we had not spoken in 3 years. can u imagine the absolute lack of fucking common sense or logic. the fucking audacity of men is unparalleled#and then i had nightmares and paranoia about him for the next like full year. like wtf.#also i think i said 2021 but actually that happened in 2022 so we actually hadn't spoken in four full years.#where on gods green earth woild he get the idea. that my public spotify playlist.#was dedicated to my terrible obsessive bully of a boyfriend from fucking high school.#i just can't even fucking fathom the mental gymnastics necessary.#anyway. i ended up ranting anyway#it just makes me so angry that i didnt think about him for years and then he so efficiently once again ruined my life#bc he had been incredibly obsessive and so I had reason to worry he might just show up at my house at some point.#i ended up ranting anyway. what can u do.#anyway. I hope he's having a terrible time. he deserves it.
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