#i was just too tired to define them properly

[arlenianchronicles]

Thank you all so much for the kind words on my dark!Mae AU! Here’s another painting for it, this time featuring Elrond as he dances at Maedros’ dark fae court, similar to how Lúthien danced for Morgoth XDD In the same vein, Elrond (and Elros; he’s hanging around there somewhere) is trying to lull Maedros into a sense of security/ease.

I imagine Elrond’s dance is close to a ballet style, hence his pointe-like shoes. That said, I wanted to practice with perspective for this painting, and got some awesome feedback from the Artists of Arda discord chat, but ultimately set that version aside and went with this! I do feel that this version has a better composition story-wise: Maedros wants to keep Elrond close, and won’t let him dance too far away.

Also, while I was drawing Maedros’ guards, I realized that they kinda resemble my designs for Maglor and Celegorm ... Which led to the idea that Maedros subconsciously surrounds himself with people who look like his dead family :’’’’D Angst ahoy! loll

For this painting, I referenced the setting of the Swan Lake ballet, starring Natalia Osipova, specifically Odile’s Black Swan solo before the queen and her court. And the first version of this painting is under the cut, if you want to see:

Help I hate drawing grids lmaooo

[moonselune]

Dealer's choice companions with a Tav/reader who has shaky hands, if that's okay? :]

I did with the boys to show them some love <3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Gale:

It had been a long, exhausting day. The kind where the hours seemed to drag on and yet everything felt incomplete. You tried to shake off the tension as you entered the small cottage you shared with Gale, the warmth of the fire welcoming you. The air was filled with the faint scent of herbs and parchment—familiar, comforting.

You’d been holding yourself together all day, but now, in the quiet of your home, the tremor in your hands that had been nagging at you all day seemed worse. It was always there—sometimes manageable, sometimes barely noticeable. But today, it felt like a persistent reminder of something you couldn’t control.

You moved to the edge of the camp, where Shadowheart kept her best reserves, wanting nothing more than to pour yourself a drink and settle down for the night. As you lifted the glass, your hand began to shake, gently at first, but enough to make you hesitate. With a deep breath, you tried to steady yourself, your fingers gripping the bottle tightly as you poured. But it wasn’t enough.

The glass slipped from your grasp, crashing to the floor with a sharp sound that echoed through the cottage. Liquid splattered across the floor, and the tremor that had started in your hand seemed to spread through your entire body. You stared down at the mess, frustration and exhaustion swirling in your chest.

"Damn it!" you cursed, your voice catching as the flood of emotions you'd been holding back broke free. Anger, frustration, shame—they all hit you at once. Tears blurred your vision as you dropped to your knees, trying to pick up the shards of glass with shaking hands, only for the tremors to make it nearly impossible.

"Hey… hey, it’s alright."

Gale’s voice was soft, but firm, cutting through your frustration. You hadn’t even heard him come in. He was suddenly there, crouching beside you, his hand gently resting on your arm. You could feel his presence like a calm anchor in the storm swirling inside you.

You shook your head, pulling away slightly. "No, it’s not alright," you muttered, your voice thick with emotion. "I can’t… I can’t even hold a glass properly. I’m so tired of this."

Gale didn’t immediately respond. Instead, he reached for your hands, his touch gentle but insistent, stopping you from trying to pick up the glass. His fingers wrapped around yours, steadying them in a way you couldn’t do on your own.

"Let me take care of this," he said softly, his eyes filled with understanding. You tried to pull your hands away again, but the tremors wouldn’t stop, and it only made your frustration worse.

"I’m useless like this," you whispered, your voice breaking as you finally let the tears fall. "I hate it. I hate feeling like I’m not in control."

Gale paused for a moment, his eyes never leaving yours. He let go of your hands and cupped your face instead, his thumbs gently wiping away your tears.

"You are far from useless," he said, his voice firm but filled with kindness. "This tremor… it’s a part of you, yes. But it doesn’t define you. And it certainly doesn’t make you any less of who you are."

You stared at him, feeling the weight of his words but still caught in the overwhelming frustration that had been building up for days, maybe even weeks. "But it’s so damn frustrating, Gale. Some days, I can manage it. I can get through. But others… I just feel like it’s too much. I don’t want to feel this way."

He nodded, understanding in his gaze, as though he had expected your words. He shifted, sitting down on the floor beside you, not caring about the mess, not caring about anything except you.

"I know. And it’s okay to feel like this. You don’t have to be strong all the time, not for me, not for anyone." His fingers moved through your hair, a soothing gesture that helped calm the chaos inside you, if only a little. "You’ve been through so much today. Let me help."

For a moment, you couldn’t speak. His words, his presence, the way he held you with such care—it made the overwhelming emotions in your chest feel less suffocating. You leaned into his touch, resting your forehead against his shoulder, the exhaustion finally catching up with you.

"I just don’t want to feel weak," you whispered, your voice barely audible.

"You’re not weak," Gale said softly, his arms wrapping around you, holding you close. "You’re human. And you’re allowed to have moments where things feel too heavy. But I’m here with you. We’ll get through this together."

You stayed like that for a while, wrapped in Gale’s warmth, letting the steady rise and fall of his breath calm your own. Slowly, the tremors began to ease, not completely, but enough that you could breathe again without the weight of frustration crushing you. After a while, Gale shifted, his hand resting lightly on your back.

"Let’s clean this up together," he suggested gently, his tone patient and without a hint of judgment.

You nodded, feeling a bit more grounded as he helped you stand. Together, you cleaned the broken glass and the spilled drink. Gale moved with a quiet efficiency, never rushing you, never making you feel like a burden. Once everything was cleaned, he poured you a fresh drink, his hands steady where yours still trembled slightly.

"Here," he said, handing it to you with a small smile. "Take your time."

You took the glass, feeling the weight of the day slowly lifting as you sipped. Gale sat beside you, his arm draped around your shoulders, and for the first time in hours, you felt like you could breathe again.

"You don’t have to go through this alone," he murmured, his voice gentle but firm. "I’m here. Always."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Astarion:

The night had been difficult, and as you sat in your tent, the events of the day weighed heavily on you. Your hands shook slightly as you tried to go about your usual tasks, the tremors a result of lingering adrenaline and nerves. You didn’t want to show weakness, especially not in front of Astarion, but it seemed that nothing escaped his keen eyes.

He slipped into the tent silently, his presence both comforting and disarming. Astarion didn’t say anything at first, merely watching you with those sharp eyes of his. When he noticed the way your hands trembled, he frowned slightly, concern flashing across his features.

“You’re shaking,” he observed quietly, his voice unusually soft. It wasn’t a question, more of a statement of fact.

You tried to brush it off, forcing a smile as you continued with your task. “It’s nothing, just… a bit of residual tension.”

Astarion wasn’t convinced. He moved closer, gently taking whatever you were holding out of your hands and setting it aside.

“You don’t need to pretend with me,” he said, his voice holding an uncharacteristic gentleness. “Let me help.”

Before you could protest, Astarion took your hands in his, his touch surprisingly tender. His fingers were cool against your skin, but his grip was firm, grounding. He didn’t let go, instead rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hands with his thumbs. The simple act of touch, of his focus entirely on you, made your breath catch in your throat.

“You’ve been through a lot,” Astarion murmured, his eyes never leaving yours. “It’s only natural to feel… off.”

You let out a shaky breath, the tension in your body slowly starting to ebb away under his touch.

“I just don’t want to seem weak,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. Astarion’s expression softened, and he leaned in closer, his breath warm against your skin.

“You’re anything but weak,” he said firmly. “It takes strength to keep going, even when your body betrays you.”

He brought one of your hands up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. The gesture was intimate, tender, and it made your heart skip a beat. Astarion, who usually shied away from vulnerability, was showing you a side of himself that few ever saw. It made you feel seen, cared for in a way that went beyond words.

“Just focus on me,” Astarion whispered, his voice low and soothing. “Let the rest of the world fade away, just for a moment.”

You did as he asked, closing your eyes and focusing on the feeling of his hands holding yours, the warmth of his breath against your skin, the gentle pressure of his lips as he kissed your knuckles again. Slowly, your breathing evened out, and the trembling in your hands began to subside.

When you finally opened your eyes, Astarion was watching you with a small, almost shy smile. “Better?” he asked, though the concern in his eyes hadn’t entirely faded.

You nodded, a genuine smile tugging at your lips. “Much better,” you replied softly. “Thank you.”

Astarion squeezed your hands gently before letting go, though he didn’t move far, staying close enough that you could feel his presence like a protective shield.

“Anytime, darling,” he said with a playful smirk, though his eyes still held that same tender concern. “I’m always here to lend a hand, or two, if you need them.”

The playful tone made you chuckle, and you felt the last of the tension leave your body.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Wyll:

The day had been a blur of battles and close calls, and by the time you reached the camp, the adrenaline that had kept you going finally started to wane. You tried to push the exhaustion aside, focusing on the simple tasks of setting up for the evening. But as you reached for your bedroll, your hands betrayed you, shaking uncontrollably. You cursed under your breath, frustrated at your body’s refusal to cooperate.

Wyll, your dearest love, noticed immediately. He was by your side in an instant, his dark eyes filled with concern as he gently took your hands in his. His touch was warm and steady, a stark contrast to the tremors that coursed through your own fingers.

“Hey,” Wyll said softly, his voice carrying that familiar, soothing tone he used when he was trying to comfort you. “Take a breath. You’ve been through a lot today. It’s okay to let yourself rest.”

You tried to smile, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “I’m fine,” you lied, attempting to pull your hands away. “Just need to get this done.”

Wyll didn’t let go. Instead, he tightened his grip just enough to stop you from pulling away. His thumbs traced gentle circles on the back of your hands, grounding you in the present moment.

“You don’t have to do everything on your own,” he reminded you, his voice firm but kind. “I’m here. Let me help you.”

His words broke through the wall you had tried to build around yourself. The tension in your shoulders eased slightly, and you let out a shaky breath, finally allowing yourself to lean on him. Wyll guided you to sit down, his hands never leaving yours as he knelt in front of you.

“Just breathe with me,” he encouraged, his own breathing slow and deliberate. “In and out, nice and easy.”

You followed his lead, focusing on the rhythm of his breath, the warmth of his hands, and the steady presence of his gaze. Slowly, the shaking began to subside, your body responding to the calm that Wyll exuded. He watched you with unwavering attention, his expression one of deep care and affection.

When your hands finally stilled, Wyll gave you a warm smile. “There you go,” he said softly, his voice filled with pride. “You’re stronger than you think, you know that, my love?”

You managed a small smile in return, the weight of the day lifting slightly as you looked into his eyes.

“Only because I have you,” you replied honestly. Wyll chuckled softly, bringing one of your hands up to his lips to press a gentle kiss to your knuckles.

“And I’ll always be here,” he promised, his voice a vow as much as it was a reassurance. “Whatever you need, I’ll be by your side.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Halsin:

The sun was beginning to set over the camp, casting warm, amber hues across the landscape as you busied yourself near the cooking fire. The day had been long, and everyone was tired. You’d offered to prepare the evening meal, determined to contribute something meaningful to the group. You wanted to prove to yourself that you could still manage, despite the persistent tremor in your hands that had been getting worse.

Chopping vegetables, stirring the pot—tasks that once seemed so simple—now felt like battles. Your hands shook uncontrollably at times, causing the knife to slip or the ingredients to spill. Frustration mounted with each failed attempt, but you kept going. You were too stubborn to stop, too determined to let the tremor win.

As you struggled to chop the carrots, your hands jerked, and a few slices scattered off the chopping board. Cursing under your breath, you bent down to pick them up, your movements shaky and uncoordinated. You could feel eyes on you from the campfire, but you avoided looking up. You didn’t want to see the pity in their faces.

A shadow loomed over you, and you didn’t need to look to know who it was. The scent of pine and earth, the quiet strength in his presence—it was unmistakable.

Halsin.

“You’re struggling,” his deep voice rumbled softly. “Let me help.”

You shook your head quickly, refusing to meet his gaze. “I’ve got it,” you muttered, gripping the knife tighter and returning to the vegetables. “I can do it.”

There was a long pause, and you could feel Halsin watching you, his silent concern heavy in the air. “There is no shame in asking for help when you need it,” he said quietly, crouching beside you.

“I said I’ve got it,” you snapped, harsher than you meant to. The frustration from the day, the trembling in your hands, the feeling of helplessness—it all came out in that one sharp response.

Halsin didn’t react to your tone, his patience unwavering. He reached out, his large hand gently covering yours, stilling the tremor for a moment.

“You don’t need to do this alone,” he said, his voice soft yet firm, offering you a way out without pushing. But you pulled your hand away, gripping the knife tighter, and returned to chopping.

“I need to do this,” you muttered. You needed to prove to yourself that you could. That this tremor wasn’t going to take everything from you.

Halsin sighed, standing up slowly. “Very well,” he said, stepping back. “But be careful.”

You barely heard him as you focused on the vegetables, the tremor in your hands making the task more difficult by the second. Your frustration mounted until, with a sudden jerk of your hand, the knife slipped.

Pain shot through your finger as the blade nicked you. You hissed, dropping the knife as blood welled up from the cut. Before you could react, Halsin was back by your side, kneeling in front of you with a furrowed brow. He gently took your hand in his, inspecting the wound with a soft sigh.

"I warned you," he murmured, his voice both gentle and chastising.

You looked down, your frustration turning inward as the reality of your stubbornness hit. You had tried so hard to do it on your own, to prove something to yourself, and now you had made things worse.

Halsin reached into his satchel, pulling out a strip of clean cloth. “Let me bandage this,” he said, not waiting for your protest as he carefully wrapped the wound. His touch was so gentle, and his large hands so steady, that you couldn’t help but feel a pang of envy.

“I… I just wanted to help,” you said, your voice small, almost a whisper. You stared at your trembling hands, the shame of your earlier outburst gnawing at you. “I didn’t want to be a burden.”

Halsin’s hands stilled, and he looked up at you, his eyes warm and filled with understanding.

“You are never a burden,” he said firmly. “You have nothing to prove, to me or to anyone.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but he raised a hand, silencing you with a gentle smile.

“You do not have to fight every battle alone,” he continued. “I know you want to do things on your own, and I admire your strength. But even the strongest among us need help from time to time.”

His words sank in slowly, the weight of your stubbornness lifting just enough for you to see the truth in what he was saying. You hadn’t wanted to show weakness, but in doing so, you had only hurt yourself more.

“I’m sorry,” you said, your voice cracking as the emotions of the day caught up with you. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. I just… I wanted to be strong.”

Halsin’s expression softened further, and he gently squeezed your hand, his thumb brushing over your bandaged finger. “Strength isn’t just in doing things on your own,” he said. “It’s in knowing when to accept help, when to lean on those who care about you.”

You nodded, your eyes stinging with unshed tears. “I just… I didn’t want to feel helpless,” you whispered.

Halsin pulled you into a gentle embrace, his arms wrapping around you in a way that made you feel safe, grounded.

“You are far from helpless,” he murmured into your hair. “You are capable, and resilient, and stronger than you know. But there is no shame in allowing others to support you.”

You leaned into him, the warmth of his embrace easing the tightness in your chest. For a moment, you allowed yourself to let go, to release the frustration and the need to prove something. In Halsin’s arms, you didn’t have to be strong all the time. You didn’t have to carry the weight alone. After a few moments, he pulled back, brushing a stray tear from your cheek.

“Now, let’s finish this meal together,” he said with a soft smile. “And next time, you let me help from the start, agreed?”

You managed a small, tired smile. “Agreed.”

Halsin gave you a nod and picked up the knife, his movements steady and sure as he took over where you had left off. And for the first time that day, you felt the weight of your own expectations lifting, replaced by the warmth of knowing you didn’t have to face everything on your own. As Halsin chopped the vegetables with ease, he looked at you from the corner of his eye and smiled.

“We’ll make this a fine meal, together,” he said, his voice filled with quiet assurance. And somehow, you knew he was right.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

This was so cute to write and I hope you guys enjoyed it! - Seluney xox

If you want to support me in other ways | Help keep this moonmaiden caffeinated x

[vaperarmand]

it's iwtv fanfic friday and everyone's getting involved

some recs from all corners of the vampolycule <3

someone buy me roses by indigostohelit lestat/louis, e, 3.2k words

Lestat's frown deepens. “My God, Louis!” he says. “I am not some petty voyeur. My motives are noble. My heart is unselfish. Frankly this is an act of chivalry. Please take off your pants.”

(one thing about me is i go crazy for a religious metaphor. also louis is sooooo catholic in this. it's awesome)

it's been a long, hard twenty year summer vacation by moonieangel aka @loumandivorce louis/armand, e, 7k words

"Let me," Armand said. Louis looked down at him, uncertain, but his pupils were already dilated until the rings of green fire were almost invisible in his eyes. "I haven't been able to drink anything properly, recently," he said, as Armand knew he would say. "And?" Louis' jaw clicked shut. He looked affronted, almost embarrassed, and Armand was strangely delighted at the sight. "You're going to get off on sucking a soft cock?" he asked in disbelief. (Armand and Louis travel.)

(*aggressive tiktok influencer voice* if you haven't read this yet literally what are you even doing with your life. this is such a defining loumand fic for me it's crazy. it's like their true essence on paper. what loumand is like at home. it's so good. sooooo good)

He's Piano; You're Not Forte by Galadriel armand/daniel + armand/lestat, m, 4.2k words

The Vampire Lestat's album has just dropped, and it's causing discord in the Armand-Molloy household.

(armand is SOOOOOOO good in this. i love you obsessive armand. it's been too long since i've reread this one. going to do that now actually)

two-headed mother by tisiphones armand/lestat, e, 8.7k words

"Poor darling," Armand says, and the condescension in his voice is so awful and so offensive and Lestat wants to curl up in it and never, ever leave. "It's okay to let yourself be taken care of for just one night. You can't help what you need." --- It's Lestat's last night in Paris. Armand makes it a memorable one.

(yeah. this one's just. yeah. fellas is it gay to do a roleplay where your boyfriend pretends to be your mommy. probably not gay but it's definitely something)

every few centuries, somebody reinvents the coven by katplanet armand/daniel/louis/lestat, e, 20.5k words

Daniel asks Louis if he's sure when he first suggests it. He asks him again a few days later, to see if he's changed his mind. He makes a psychic collect call to Lestat, of all people, and asks if he's sure. Asks Armand if he's sure when he accepts the invitation, when they're packing, when they're on the way to the airport. When they're walking up to arrivals, Armand’s grip crushing Daniel's fingers, Louis smiling at the back of the crowd with his hands in his pockets, casual as anything, like they do this every day. They're all sure and sure and sure, so Daniel lets Louis pull him in with one arm, Armand with the other, and hug them both while a planeful of tired New Yorkers filters out around them into the muggy bayou dark.

(look okay i know this fic is mostly smut and all but it literally made me cry multiple times. it changed my worldview. it made me see colors previously not experienced by the human perception. it's everything to me. if you haven't read it just like. please please do.)

[fictionalcharactersaremypassion]

Caught

Panic came over Fiona when she awoke that morning, finding herself in a bedroom that was not her own. Slivers of sunlight streamed in between the closed curtains, the sounds of soft breathing beside her made her instantly remember last night’s events. 

“Fuck,” she said quietly. “Fuck. Colin, get up.” He stirred somewhat, mumbling incoherently. She shoved him. “Get up!” 

“The fuck do you want?” He groaned, rubbing at his eyes. 

“It’s morning, you fucking idiot,” she whispered furiously. 

He held her thigh, still looking sleepy. “Calm down.” 

“Oh, yeah. That’s what every woman wants to hear,” she snarked. 

“Everyone’s probably still asleep,” Colin said, ignoring that. “Just go out the front door.” 

“And if they’re not?” 

“I don’t fucking know,” Colin shrugged. “It’s too damn early to think right now.” 

She rolled her eyes. Sliding out of bed, she pulled her underwear and bra on, staying as quiet as she possibly could. 

“You looked better without them on,” came Colin’s smart ass remark as she looked around for her shirt. 

“One more remark like that and you’ll never see my tits again,” she said, to which he held his hands up, smirking. “Now where the hell’s my shirt?” 

“Hey, hey,” Colin waved a hand to get her attention, then pointed at his dresser. “Over there.” 

She turned, eyebrows furrowing, spotting it laying atop the dresser. “I didn’t put this here.” 

“I did,” he said, the blanket falling down to his abdomen, “when I got up to piss.” 

She narrowed her eyes. “And what time was that?” 

He shrugged. “Four or whatever. I don’t know.” 

“And you didn’t wake me?” She said, incredulous. 

“You seemed like you needed it.” A grin spread over his face. “Plus, you get kinda bitchy when you’re tired.” 

She rolled her eyes, pulling the shirt over her head. “Fuck you.” 

They had this thing going on for a while now. A thing that neither one of them brought up to properly define. It was more fucking, for sure, but they were both wary after so many shitty attempts at relationships. Best to just take it slow and see where it took them. 

“You did plenty of that last night,” Colin said smoothly. She paused, taking in the hickeys she’d left along his bare shoulder. 

“Shit,” she said with a slight laugh. “Sorry about that.” 

“You hear me complainin’?” Colin’s gaze slid over her body appreciatively. And it didn’t feel like the way those sleazy guys at work did. Come to think of it, nothing with Colin ever resembled any of the guys she’d been with before. Fuck, is she actually fallin’ for a Milkovich? “You got work today?” 

“Not ‘till later,” she replied, buttoning her jeans. “Why?” 

He didn’t respond right away, making her look up. It might just be a trick of the light, but Fiona thought he might actually be blushing. 

“It’s fucking stupid,” he said. “Never mind.” 

“No, what is it?” she said curiously. 

Colin rubbed the side of his nose, reminding her of the way she’d seen Mickey rub his eyebrow in the few instances they were in each other’s presence. Must have been a Milkovich thing. “If you were hungry,” he said, trying to come off as indifferent, “I know this cheap diner we could go to.” 

Her eyebrows flew up. “You’re askin’ me out to breakfast?” 

The question made him uncomfortable. “You said you wanted more than just fucking.” 

“Yeah,” she said, surprising herself with how much she did want it, “yeah. I did.” 

“Is that a yes, then?” Colin asked. She saw beneath his exterior that she was actually hopeful, and that just wasn’t something she was used to seeing on a Milkovich. 

She toyed with her hair, making it look a bit more presentable and less disheveled. “Look, I would if I had the money. But I’ve got the electric to think about it-” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Colin cut her off. “I got enough for both of us.” 

“I can’t ask you to do that,” she shook her head. 

“You didn’t ask. I’m offering,” he sat up now, the blanket pooling in his lap. “And if you really want to pay me back, then you can always give me a blow job-” 

He broke out into soft laughter when she gave him an unamused look. 

“You’re a jackass.” 

“I’m kidding,” he assured her, still chuckling. “But I wasn’t kidding about paying. You can pay next time if you want.” 

“You’re already thinking about a next time, huh?” Fiona smiled, despite that nagging twinge telling her to reconsider. Sue her. She fuckin’ liked him. “Alright. Fine, you can pay. But this place better have good coffee.” 

He grinned. It was a damn good smile too. She briefly wished he did it more often. 

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to tell the kids, though,” she said thoughtfully. They’ll be awake soon enough and notice that she’s not there. 

“Nothing if you move fast enough,” Colin swung his legs over the edge of the bed, reaching for the pair of shorts closests to him. Her eyes were drawn to his bare upper half, watching the muscles in his back flex as he bent down to find a t-shirt to throw on. 

“You’re a fucking creep, Gallagher,” came Colin’s teasing voice, snapping her out of her thoughts. 

Fuck, she was busted. 

“I saw you staring,” Colin was looking at her again, smirking. “You like what you see?” 

“There’s not much to see,” she replied, going that route instead of acknowledging that his question had made her face feel unusually warm. 

“That what you’re going with, Sweetheart?” Colin stood to his full height, pushing the curtains open. 

“Don’t call me that,” Fiona rolled her eyes. She was going to start walking out but Colin had other ideas; he wrapped a strong arm around her waist, gently pulling her back. Her hair was pushed out of the way, giving him access to her neck. She pressed her lips together, fighting the urge to squirm. Fuck, he knew just where to go. “Hey, if you want to have breakfast, I’ll have go home and freshen up.” 

“Hang on,” he mumbled in between kisses. 

“I swear to God if you give me a fucking hickey, Milkovich, I’ll rip your dick off.” 

“That’s kinda turning me on, not gonna lie...” 

“Oh my God,” she muttered, and he huffed out a laugh. She lightly shoved him away. “I’m gettin’ out of here before your brothers or Mandy wake up.” 

“They won’t be up this early, trust me.” 

The two of them crept out of Colin's room. The rest of the house was silent, much to Fiona’s relief. She didn’t need anyone seeing them. The last thing she wanted to do was explain what all this was between them. 

“I still can’t believe we fucked while they were home,” she mumbled. 

“They probably just think you’re some whore I brought home,” he said with a shrug, to which she scoffed. 

“Thanks.” 

“Hey, I didn’t call you the whore,” Colin said, keeping his voice down. She snorted. “Okay, looks like they’re all sleeping. Just head out and we’ll meet back up in twenty.” 

Fiona saw something in her peripheral that made her freeze. She whirled around, figuring it to be one of Colin’s brothers, only to gawk. 

“Ian?” 

Her brother froze too, staring at them with wide eyes. “Fiona?” He squeaked out, voice noticeably a higher pitch. 

She couldn’t help but notice his rumpled clothing and the messy hair. “What the fuck? What are you doing here?” 

Ian looked a little panicked. “What are you doing here?” He yelped. 

“Did you come from Mandy's room?” Colin demanded, butting into the conversation, his protective instincts coming out. 

“N-no!” 

“I swear to God if you were fucking my baby sister-” Colin hissed. 

“I wasn’t!” 

“Okay, okay,” Fiona put a hand on his chest to calm him. Ian gawked at this momentarily, but was a little more focused on not getting murdered.“Don’t fucking touch him.” 

“I wasn’t with Mandy,” Ian said hurriedly. “I swear I wasn’t!” 

“Then why the fuck are you here?” 

“Colin,” Fiona snapped. “Calm the fuck down. Jesus.” 

“Fi-” Colin started with a sigh. 

“If you touch him, Colin, I swear to God-” 

“Alright, alright! I won’t touch him. He still owes me an explanation.” 

“And you’ll get it,” Fiona said, looking at Ian expectantly. 

“Um, well-” Ian said weakly. 

“Goddamn it, Gallagher, what’s all the noise about? Did you wake my brother up?” A new voice complained, and out came Mickey from his room, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw all of them standing there. “Fuck...” 

Ian shut his eyes, one hand covering his face. 

It didn’t take Colin long to connect the dots. “Holy shit,” he said in disbelief. 

Fiona was just as shocked. This was not what she expected to happen this morning. Although, she couldn’t help but notice the way Mickey stiffened up when his eyes landed on his brother. Not a surprise, given the Milkovich’s asshole of a father. 

“You’re a fag, Mick?” Colin said, completely caught off guard. “Since when?” 

She whacked him hard for that one. “Hey,” she said sharply. 

Colin gave her a look in return. “What? I don’t give a shit. I’m just askin’.” 

Ian tried to do damage control, which she suspected was to save face for Mickey, and blurted out, “I-I was just returning something to Mickey. I, uh, borrowed it from him and I thought I should bring it back before he punches me or something.” 

Colin snorted. Mickey looked like he was seconds away from actually punching him right then and there. 

“Do you think we’re fucking stupid?” The second oldest Milkovich said to no one in particular. Then, he asked staright up: “Gallagher, are you fucking my brother?” 

“No. I mean yes but-” Ian faltered, trying to come up with the right words. He looked at Mickey, and their silent communication lasted for several moments. Taking a deep breath, he finally said, “Me and Mickey aren’t just fucking. He’s my boyfriend.” 

Fiona felt like her mind was blown. Jesus. “How long has this been going on?” 

“A couple of months,” Mickey answered cautiously. He was still glancing at Colin. 

“Seriously?” Fiona didn’t know how she’d missed this. Wouldn’t she have known if Ian was sneaking off? 

“Hold the fuck on then,” Colin said suddenly, “I thought you and Mandy were dating? That’s what she told us.” 

“It’s fake,” Ian said quickly. “She offered to pretend to be my girlfriend at school. I keep the creepy guys away and no one suspects I’m gay.” 

Colin rubbed his face tiredly. “Jesus. It’s too fucking early for all of this.” 

Fiona definitely agreed. 

There was silence for a couple of seconds. Ian’s eyes darted from her to Colin. “Are you guys together too?” 

Mickey looked interested in hearing the answer as well. 

“We’re-” Fiona didn’t know how to explain it. What were they? They weren’t just fuck buddies. They were both interested in taking this further, but at the moment? She didn’t know what they were. 

“Yeah,” Colin took the reins and said. He placed his hand on her lower back. Fiona unconsciously leaned into his touch. 

“I stayed here last night,” she admitted. 

“That’s probably why we heard all the thuds,” Mickey said to Ian, casually. Fiona was mortified. Ian just grimaced. 

“Jesus, Mick. Don’t say things like that.” 

“Did I offend your delicate sensibilities, Gallagher?”

Ian, seemingly forgetting who he was in front of, just grinned. “Didn’t think I was so delicate last night.” 

“Okay, no,” Fiona said loudly. “You’re not going to do that in front of me. You two can fuck or be boyfriends and shit all you want, but I don’t need to know anything about my brother’s sex life.” 

Ian flushed, ducking his head. 

“Me either,” Colin added. 

“Sorry,” Ian offered an apology, and she rolled her eyes fondly. 

Her brother seemed alright, if just a bit surprised that they were both dating Milkovich’s. But Fiona had been studying Mickey for a couple of minutes now and he seemed close to fleeing or shitting his pants. It reminded her a little of when Ian came out; he’d been nervous too. She could only imagine how he must be feeling right now. 

But even in the midst of this, she saw Mickey’s eyes glancing her brother’s way, his face softening and for a moment, he wasn’t one of South Side’s notorious thugs, but just a kid that was clearly in love. 

“We should probably head out,” Fiona said, referencing to herself and Ian. “Come on.” 

Colin spoke up, “Are we still on?” 

She turned, a smile lighting up her face. “We’re still on.” 

“On for what?” Ian said curiously. 

“More fucking, probably,” Mickey shrugged. 

“Fuck off,” Colin swatted him upside the head. “It ain’t like that, dickhead. We’re going out.” 

“Your brother’s secretly a gentleman,” Fiona told Mickey, who scoffed. 

“Since fucking when?” 

“Keep talkin’, fuck head. You did plenty of shit as a kid that I’ll gladly tell Gallagher,” Colin threatened. Mickey, much to her amusement, blanched a little. 

“Technically we’re both Gallaghers,” Ian pointed out. 

“You know damn well what I meant, Red.” 

“Come on,” Fiona smirked, a hand on her brother’s shoulder. “Let’s get back before the others wake up. I don’t need Carl blowing up the house.” 

Ian nodded, his gaze settling on Mickey. “Bye Mickey,” he said shyly. “You should stop by Kash and Grab later. You know, if you want to.” 

“Yeah, sure. Whatever,” Mickey said like he didn’t care. 

Colin snorted. “Some relationship you’ve got there.” 

“Shut the fuck up.” 

Fiona made a bold move of taking Colin by the hand, pulling him towards the door. “You can go on,” she told Ian, who didn’t need to be told twice, so now it was only three of them. “Bye Mickey,” she called. 

Mickey grunted, and went back to his room, slamming the door shut. 

“Make sure you talk to him,” Fiona said, realizing that she was still holding onto his hand. 

“About what?” Colin said, slightly confused. 

“About him being gay,” Fiona said carefully. 

“Why the fuck do we have to talk about it? I don’t care where he sticks his dick.” 

“That’s not the point,” Fiona sighed. “We both know how Terry is. He needs to know you aren’t going to kick his ass over it.” 

Colin met her eyes. He nodded, understanding now. “Okay. I’ll talk to him.” 

“Make sure he’s okay,” she added. “And don’t pressure him to tell Iggy or Mandy. It’s his choice.” 

“I know that,” he said, looking serious. “I’d never do that to him.” 

“Good,” Fiona glanced down at their still conjoined hands, and let go. “See you in twenty?” 

“See ya, Gallagher.” 

Fiona walked back home with a grin on her face. Unlike the other guys in her past, she had a good feeling about Colin Milkovich. 

[moonheecore]

tysm for doing my prev ask! got me all hot and bothered, you truly never miss!

now requesting K for jake <3

Glad you like it! Keeping my promise of doing K hehe so here you go!

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Messy: I don't know how to properly define this term, but Jake likes it sticky, dirty, and wet, encompassing a plethora of activities under this umbrella. In cum play, he drowns different parts of your body— your ass, your back, your boobs, your face with ropes of his creamy semen. After he eats your pussy, he'll ask you to open your mouth like a good girl and let his drool mix with your arousal spill into your mouth and forcing you to swallow before sucking on your tongue and lips while you kiss each other. In food play, he buys canned whipped cream and decorates your cunt and tits like he's a barista and add some sprinkles before rubbing and grinding his body against yours to spread the mess. When you squirt, you best bet that he'll hold your legs wide for you to spray his face and body, letting you drench the mattress and him with your scent. Just know that whenever you guys have sex, you'll always have a pile of dirty laundry ready to be cleaned.

Somnophilia: The fact that Jake gets so sleepy and tired easily makes me feel like he'll be really into it. He comes home about to shut down from work, but you're pouting at him because he promised you on the phone that you'll fuck tonight. He gives you a defeated sigh and strips his clothes off, laying on the bed and telling you that you can do whatever you want to his body. He watches you with heavy-lidded eyes as you suck his hard cock and play with his sensitive nipples but when he blinks and blacks out for a few seconds due to sleep, he wakes up to you riding on his cock like a toy, watching you grope and play with your tits is enough to make him cum into your warm pussy. He also likes to wake up to morning blowjobs or sex because he's so drowsy from waking up that it makes him ten times more horny. He easily slides his cock inside of you the moment he wakes up, rocking his hips while closing his eyes, letting out small desperate moans because he's too sleepy to move faster.

Fingering: Oh, this man knows you have a thing for his hands and fingers— big, slender, soft, and veiny. The way you shamelessly stare at them when he adjusts his rings or flexes his hands is just too obviously cute. He'll trace your swollen folds to collect your wetness on his finger before plunging his digits one by one to stretch your perfect hole until he can feel slick dripping down your thighs. The way your walls are clamping on his fingers makes him go faster, curling them to the side until he's pressing against the spongy spot of your cervix repeatedly. His thumb presses on your clit, circling the bundle of nerves with a rapid pace. Jake won't stop even after you've cummed and lets you ride your orgasm, coating his fingers enough before sliding them into your mouth, forcing you to suck them clean before he thrusts his fingers back into your spent cunt, wanting to taste your sweet nectar as well. It's also so easy to do it in public, to have you sit on his lap or at his side, telling you to open your legs like a good girl and push your panties to the side to have some fun.

send an ask based on the NSFW alphabet template together with one or more members in the hyungline.

[lovings4turn]

જ⁀➴  𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔  . . .  (𝐒. 𝐇.)

— steve was your high school sweetheart. six years down the line, you’re still together.

+ part of my 'be my valentine' mixtape series ! nothing but pure fluff and sweetness

some things just make perfect sense, and one of those is you and steve harrington.

every time that the question of how long you two have been together crops up, you joke that it’s been far too long, too many years to even count on one hand. you then reveal that it’s been six years, dating back to when steve had asked you on a date to a drive-in showing of ‘footloose’, and out of the two thousand and something days that have passed since, you wouldn’t trade a single one for the world. 

like every relationship, you two of you have had your ups and downs over the years. finals had been especially hard on you both, and your combined frustration and stress had come to a head more times than you would like to say. it hasn’t always been a walk in the park, you can admit that. 

but none of that matters.

because as sure as the sun will fall and the moon will rise, you’ll be in steve’s arms by the end of every evening, limbs tangled as though you’re desperate to never be separated from each other. not in this lifetime, nor in the next.

to many in the early years, you were simply high school sweethearts. merely each other’s first love, something sweet that would quickly sour with the bitter curse of age, turned into nothing more than a sentimental memory. though you and steve have avoided that, like you always knew you would, only growing stronger together with every passing year. 

even after all of this time, you’re hopelessly and utterly head over heels for him. it’s as though every day spent with him is the first, hours filled with playful flirting and flustered laughter. 

you will never tire of waking up to the soft snores of your boyfriend, of removing your head from his tanned chest to sit up and brush the long strands of chestnut hair from his face. you’ve familiarised yourself with the scrunch of his nose as his sleeping form registers the tickle that hair against his skin provides, and if you had the talent and material, you’re sure you could carve it into stone from memory alone.

even though realistically, you should be over them by now, every little thing he does still gives you butterflies: the saccharine compliments dipped in honey, his voice thick and syrupy as they drip from his tongue; the way he takes note of even the smallest things, down to your favourite breakfast foods and preferred pair of cosy socks; even the way he looks at you, as though you’re the most precious thing on earth. because to steve, you are.

one of your favourite memories comes from the night that you met steve’s parents for the first time.

on the whole, the night had been nothing too special. steve’s parents were polite enough. they asked you enough questions to seem interested in their son’s girlfriend, prepared a nice dinner and engaged in pleasant conversation with you for a few hours. the goodbyes were short and sweet, and apart from the fact that you’d spent it with steve, the evening was painfully average. 

no, it was what had occurred after this meeting that was truly special.

halfway into the drive home, steve’s hand had come to rest on your knee, his long, defined fingers drumming absentmindedly against your clothed skin. his thumb brushed against the fabric of your jeans, almost burning a hole through the denim with his touch alone, and your heart threatened to leap out of your throat and spill into your lap. 

you turned to look over his side profile, his face illuminated by the glowing street lights outside, and the words left your lips before you could properly process them.

“i love you,” you breathed, eyes widening a little at the bold nature of your confession.

you had thought you’d ruined it, said too much too soon and lay your heart bare on your sleeve, ready to be bruised and beaten. 

steve’s breath had hitched, and a relieved sigh left his lips. he’d later tell you that it felt like the weight of the world had fallen off of his shoulders. because finally, he had confirmation that you felt the same way he had for so long.

“i love you too,” he responded, his voice holding no hesitation.

he pulled his eyes away from the road to meet your own, and the curve of his smile was threaded with pure adoration. he removed his hand from your leg briefly in order to turn up his car’s stereo, his favourite song now blaring through the speakers. instantly, you were both screaming along, yet it was so much more than that.

laced between every lyric was a promise, an acknowledgement that this truly was the start of forever for you both. now, you could never see a life where steve harrington was not yours.

even after all of this time, you are still impossibly into him. and steve returns your feelings tenfold.

[dhorrl]

NSFW Alphabet-Eijiro Kirishima

Character Aged Up, Minors Do Not Interact. Thank you :)

A = Aftercare

Out of all the men in MHA, this man would excel in providing aftercare. He is full of energy and will do whatever you need - water, snacks, towels; he's got it covered. When you feel ready to move, he'll pick you up effortlessly (your size doesn't matter to him) and setting you on the toilet, (no UTIs on his watch). While you take care of that, he'll get the shower ready for you and assist with washing your hair and scrubbing your body. But let's be honest, he might enjoy it a little too much. Once you're back in bed and snuggled up in his arms, he'll most likely fall asleep quickly from all the activity. You'll feel his gentle hand resting on your stomach or breast as he drifts off into peaceful slumber.

B = Body Part

He takes great pride in his well-defined chest and loves when you caress it or follow its lines with your fingers. His stomach, while not as chiseled, is also a source of pride for him. Shower him with compliments on his body, and he'll be ecstatic; after all, who doesn't love receiving praise? He has learned over time how to properly fuel his body and work out to fully utilize his Quirk, resulting in a slightly softer tummy (think competitive strongmen) that comes from consuming large amounts of food to build muscle. But his focus now isn't on keeping a low body fat percentage; rather, it's on maintaining the physique that you love so much.

As for his partner, he adores thighs and ass, and leaving his little shark teeth marks on them (marking kink, we’ll get there). In fact, he may even have a preference for a little extra cushion (although that could just be wishful thinking). He could spend all day kissing and touching their thighs and wouldn't tire of it. During sex, his lips are attached to your ankles and calves too, nibbling and kissing them while your legs are draped over his shoulders.

C = Cum

Eijiro's cum has a slightly thinner consistency than average, but that's because he produces a lot of it. Luckily though, it doesn't taste bad since he maintains a healthy diet despite his bulking efforts. Swallowing it down and licking it off your fingers and lips is guaranteed to drive him wild. His ultimate preference is to ejaculate inside of you (he has a breeding kink, if you couldn't tell), but he will happily oblige if you ask him to pull out. If not inside, his second choice would be your backside and third would be your breasts.

D = Dirty Secret

I came across a similar headcanon and it just felt so accurate. When he was younger, there was an incident where he accidentally activated his Quirk while masturbating and ended up injuring himself. Ever since then, he's been terrified of touching himself. However, when he couldn't handle the pent-up tension any longer, he purchased a high-quality pocket pussy. He would be mortified if anyone ever found out about it.

E = Experience

Eijiro is not one for casual hookups and one night stands. He gets emotionally invested and doesn’t want to take advantage of someone else. In the past, he has only had 2-3 partners, all in committed relationships. However, this doesn't mean he lacks confidence in his abilities; in fact, his confidence is a big part of how he approaches relationships.

F = Favorite Position

Eijiro is a hopeless romantic, and he needs to see your beautiful face while making love. He doesn't mind taking the lead in any position, but he especially enjoys missionary because it allows you to lay back and relax like the princess you are. However, he also adores cowgirl, with your legs wrapped around his waist as his hands caress your skin. Although he knows he may be too large for you at first, he'll take slow and gentle thrusts while watching the expressions on your face. Eventually, he will sit up and kiss your cheeks and nose before helping you ride him fully.

G = Goofy

This man is always smiling and laughing, a big ball of positive energy. He takes pleasure in making you laugh and seeing the joy in your eyes. And why should sex be serious all the time? In my experience, it's the perfect time to let go and have a good laugh. Oh, some weird sex noises? He'll join in with childish giggles. Accidentally falling while trying to climb on top? He'll tickle your sides and remind you how lucky he feels to have you as his best friend and partner.

H = Hair

Firstly, we all know the carpet and drapes don't match. This leads me to think that he prefers a clean-shaven look. He is quite diligent in keeping it all off, so you'll rarely catch him with any hair. While maintaining an image of masculinity is important to him, he also values being well-groomed. As he ages and becomes less concerned with other's opinions, he may allow some of his roots to grow back, possibly even letting a bit of his happy trail reappear (yum).

I = Intimacy

Eijiro is incredibly passionate and intimate, both in and out of the bedroom. He doesn't waste any time with you; his intense eye contact and tender kisses begin before you even reach the bed. His lips are always on yours, leaving little room for you to catch your breath. During the sex itself, he finds ways to stay connected, often holding your hand tightly as he thrusts. His hands will caress every curve of your body, and his chest will press against yours, a physical reminder that he is yours and you are his. With every fiber of his being, he wants you to know that he is devoted to you.

J = Jack Off

From the onset of puberty, this man's body was overflowing with testosterone. And so, like most teenagers, he would frequently take care of his needs with masturbation. However, as said above, after accidentally injuring himself while using his hand, he opted for a more discreet option - a pocket pussy that he kept hidden from view. Once he experienced actual sex for the first time, his need for masturbation diminished. But as he well knew, there is only so much you could handle of his endless drive, or he’d sometimes have to be away for missions, so he still kept a little toy just for those moments. His preferred position is lying down with his upper body propped up against the headboard, allowing him to watch and pleasure himself at the same time.

K = Kink

We might be here a while. Eijiro is a lot kinkier than I think some people believe.

Praise and Body Worship. Both ways. Tell him how good he’s fucking you, trace his muscles, tell him that he’s gorgeous and an amazing hero, and he will take you like it’s his last day on Earth. He loves complimenting each and every part of your body during sex, and he’ll definitely make a few comments on how well you’re taking him.

Primal Play. Eijiro may not even know the label, but he is definitely into primal kink. It's about embracing natural instincts rather than focusing on specific sexual acts or mutual pleasure. The resulting play can be playful or intense. He enjoys a bit of roughhousing and wrestling, as if he is trying to capture his prey. You can expect to hear growls and feel sharp bites from Eijiro during these moments.

Breeding. Good lord does Eijiro has a massive breeding kink. However, he is also respectful of consent, so if you are not comfortable with him cumming inside you, he won't pressure or question you. But if you give him permission, be prepared to be filled to the brim. It's doubtful even birth control could prevent pregnancy in that situation. Proceed with caution.

Marking. Eijiro loves this going both ways. Not only does he enjoy the sight of hickeys, bites, and handprints that show your desire for him, but he also wants you to leave marks on him. He craves the feeling of your nails scratching his back until it turns red or having big purple hickeys on his chest that make it clear to everyone that the Pro Hero Red Riot is not available.

L = Location

Eijiro's thoughts and actions may not always align with each other. He has a dirty mind, but he also has a respectful disposition. While he may fantasize about taking you in various public places like the back of a car, an alley behind the agency, or even on top of Katsuki's desk, he will ultimately prioritize privacy by sticking to your home for those moments. However, it's safe to say that every surface of your house has had your ass on it.

M = Motivation

Do you exist? Then he's ready to go. The most difficult part is keeping his hands off you, instead of on you. Trying to get dressed for work, standing in just a towel as you search for your clothes? He'll pull the towel and you onto the bed, his face already buried between your thighs. If you bend over to pick up something you dropped on the floor, he'll push you all the way down and tug at your shorts so he can rub his fat cock against you. He's eager and willing to act on his desires without hesitation.

N = No

Eijiro is always up for some rough play, whether it's marking, spanking, or biting. But he would never intentionally harm you to the point of drawing blood or causing permanent damage. He may enjoy a bit of pain and dominance, but he loves you too much to take any risks that could jeopardize your well-being.

O = Oral

This man is a completely munch. He craves being nestled between yours thighs, not just for pleasuring your pussy, but lapping his tongue into your ass. As he focuses on the task at hand, his eyes glisten beneath heavy lids, his mouth agape as he gazes into your soul, and a euphoric moan escapes his lips. He’s doing this for his pleasure.

P = Pace

Just like with everything else, Eijiro is open-minded and ready to go along with whatever you want. Whether it's a slow and sensual experience or a fast and rough one, he's all in. If you choose the latter, just be prepared to hang on tight because he'll make sure you can't walk the next day.

Q = Quickie

Eijiro has a high sex drive and can get quite desperate for you, leading to spontaneous quickies. While he prefers longer, drawn-out sessions, if you show up to his office in the little sundress he loves, be prepared for a steamy afternoon snack bent over his desk.

R = Risk

He's not one to take risks when it comes to sexual activity; his main concern is always keeping you safe and avoiding any potential compromising situations with others. However, if you push him for something more adventurous, he finds it difficult to refuse you. Still, he remains vigilant and cautious in his instincts.

S = Stamina

He’s the sturdy hero, remember? Eijiro has stamina for DAYS. He could easily keep both of you going for at least five rounds a night, but he is always mindful of his partner's limits and won't push them too far. His sessions can last for hours, and you might likely tap out before he’s close to being done. However, if you let him fully release his sexual energy on you, just be prepared to not be able to walk the next day.

T = Toy

As we discussed, he used a pocket pussy to protect his cock before he gained full control over his Quirk. However, he never really considered or explored other types of sex toys. He is open to the idea and would never feel offended or emasculated if you suggested using them. But with all the pleasure he can provide, you probably won't feel the need for anything more than perhaps a vibrator and some light restraints for some playful bondage activities.

U = Unfair

He likes the idea of teasing you, but in reality, he's just too much of a simp with you. The moment you beg for him to give in to you, he folding like a lawn chair. However, when the tables are turned and you tease him, he has no problem with it and will let you edge him long and hard for as long as you want.

V = Volume

Eijiro is definitely a grunter and a whimper-er. He get so lost in your gummy wet cunt he completely loses himself to where he doesn't even care anymore what sounds slip through his lips. At first, he tried to suppress them, but soon realized that these noises only made you even more wet and needy and he never held back again.

W = Wild Card

I wouldn’t say its wild, but when it comes to sex, Eijiro is always a yes man for you. He wants nothing more than to please you and make all your fantasies come true. He’ll happily fulfill any requests or desires you have, no matter how kinky or unconventional they may be. As long as it makes you happy, he’s all for it.

X = X-Ray

This man possesses a beast of a hog, there's no doubt about it. It's not just exceptionally long, but also impressively thick. You couldn't even attempt to wrap your fingers around it; there would be no chance of them touching. And when he's aroused, you can see a visible swirl of veins, and it stands straight up, hard as rock, and a nice heavy set of breeder balls.

Y = Yearning

When he was younger, his sex drive was through the roof, but as he aged, it became more controlled. Despite that, his testosterone levels are still high, and he could easily go multiple times a day. However, he's never one to pressure or push you, and is content with whatever level of intimacy you're comfortable with. As mentioned before, he has a little "friend" to satisfy his needs when feeling tense.

Z = ZZZ

As I mentioned earlier, he has a lot of energy at the start, which he channels into taking care of you and making sure you are comfortable and ready for bed. However, once that burst of energy wears off, he will want to cuddle with you before crashing hard and fast.

[rhadamanthes]

In the silvery moolight. Sukuna x reader

word count : 2.4k

warnings: mirror sex ,bitting, spanking, hair pulling, fingering, cum swallowing, established relationship.

Part 2

Moving boxes upstairs, unpacking, doing it all over again. This is the summary of your day, to say that you're exhausted is an understatement. The hot water falling down on your body does a good job at easing your muscles but it makes you sleepy too. Stepping out of the shower you notice you haven't brought your towel. You sight  a good night of sleep sounds heavenly right now.

"Sukuna! Can I have a towel please!" you yell through the door starting to shiver as the cold air hits your still damp skin. 

The door bursts open revealing your boyfriend with a tired scowl on his face. You internally slap yourself for asking him knowing that he was probably busy assembling furniture somewhere else. He takes a few step draps the towel around your body  and starts rubbing your back vigorously. You hum at the sensation and soon enough you feel his head curl in your neck. A deep sigh escapes his mouth and you let your hand trace the tattoos on his back in an attempt to sooth him. You hear a few groan and feel his weight leaning on you more and more proving that he is in fact relaxing. 

Moving apartments to live with Sukuna was the easiest decision of your life but it also made you realise how much stuff you accumulate through the years.  He's been doing all the handy work and almost crucified you in your seat when you suggested to hire movers so he doesn't get too tired so seeing him like that makes you laugh a bit thinking that it could have been different. 

"I have never seen you like that before" you say, chuckling a bit. As a response, Sukuna bites on your neck, hard. You squeal trying to get out of his grasp before he slaps your ass and take a step back to look you in the eyes

``I'm done with the bed get in '' You let out an excited cry as though sleeping on a mattress and not on the cold floor.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" you say covering his face with kisses, running off excitedly to your shared bedroom.

You turn around when you don't hear him follow you and he is now shirtless. You can't help but stare at his defined upper body and the tattoos that adorned it. You want to trace them with your finger, your tongue to bite them. It's been such a long time since you two have been intimate with all the moving process and you realise now how much you miss it.

Before you can process any more thought, Sukuna throws his pants at you with a teasing smirk on his face "We're done for today go to sleep".

By the time Sukuna is done showering you're in bed half seated, looking around the room thinking about how you could arrange it to make it look nice and relaxing. 

For now the bed is in the middle of the room as you stacked all of the boxes that need to be emptied next to the walls so Sukuna can properly build the furniture. The only piece of decoration is a mirror that you bought recently at a flea market. It's huge, adorned with gold and almost as tall as your boyfriend ; that's why it's unpacked you're staring at yourself through it right now. Even from a distance you notice the growing eye bag and sigh. 

"I thought i said we were done for today" Sukuna says, patting his hair dry "Lay down"  His stern tone makes you all giddy but you oblige, putting the cover up to your nose you lay on your side facing him. You're occupying the left side so naturally, the right side is his. 

Both under the cover you're facing each other not saying a word but smiling. The tired look he wore before seems to have eased a bit. To see him like that makes you happy knowing that you would for hopefully a very long time. you press your lips against his biting lips slightly.

"Good night boyfriend" you say tracing the tattoos on his face. He turns you around abruptly holding you close to his chest.

"Good night doll" he says, squeezing firmly your breasts. And just like that you fall asleep following the rhythm of his breath.

Your eyes open after what feels like a very light night of sleep. You check your phone for the time 3:29 you sigh. It explains the tiredness, you look at the window. The moonlight gives the room a soft light.Your stomach growling brings you back at why you're awake at such an hour despite being so tired. 

The feeling is growing by the second and it gets you wide awake. You can feel your boyfriend's arms around your body. You try to wiggle out of it but he only holds you tighter.

" Sukuna let go please " you whisper he only growls in response. You tap his arms lightly to make him untangle it but he won't budge. "No" he simply states.

"I'm hungry, I'm just going to make something quick" you start to get frustrated. You feel his chest move in a silent laugh behind your back.

"Fridge empty" he simply adds. The asshole still got the nerve to laugh at you half asleep, you angrily push his arm off your body but before you can get out of bed you feel his chest press against your back pinning you to the bed. 

Your breath is saccaded due to the fact that he is on top of you crushing you with his weight. You open your eyes and see your reflection in the mirror. He is already looking at you, a cold gaze while both arms cage you against the mattress his nose pressed against your hair . He looks like a cat who caught his prey you gulp at the thought. He has always overpowered you in terms of physical strength but seeing him like that makes you feel some type of way, heat pool at your panties. 

"Let me go"  you whisper barely audible but he is so close you know he heard you. 

Sukuna let his hand go to your hair pulling them in a ponytail passing the lock from one hand to another, his chest vibrating with a deep growl against your back. You hum, closing your eyes at the new proximity. It's been a while that you haven't felt him like that, his whole attention is on you, the tension he applies on your scalp makes you dizzy with need and you can already feel your panties getting wet. He sticks your head to the left side pressing his cheeks against your own

"Open your eyes, look." you oblige, his red orbs instantly catches yours. he push your cheek with his own

"Are you hungry baby" he asks in a disgustingly sweet voice "Yes" you cut short at his little game "Can't it wait tomorrow" he adds grinding his hips against your own never losing the eye contact "No" you respond dryly 

"I'm sure it can, to me it look like your hungry for something else hum ?" he coos in your ear.

Even though you're mad at him right now you know that he is right, the turmoil in your belly is what made you wake up but now that he is on top of you whispering in your ears your hunger has moved to your lower belly.

"Right ? Look at you baby you've been deprived for so long I can't even blame you" Cheek still pressed against yours he whisper sweetly caressing your shoulder with his free hand,you shiver at his touch "I'm sorry Sukuna"he shushes you pressing a kiss on your cheek "I'm going to take care of you baby I should have a long time ago"

Taking off his body from yours he rests on his calf now you miss the heat his body provided. before you can complain he lifts your shirt to uncover your panties and he chuckles

"Would you look at that ? Slutty girlfirend wearing lace underwear in the course of a busy moving I'm starting to think that you planned this" his comment makes heat rise to your cheek as you bury your head in the pillow to avoid his gaze. He spanks your bottom "Don't shy out now i want your eyes on me at all time do you understand?" "Yes I do," you answer in a small voice.

Sukuna makes quick work of your underwear and shirt leaving you naked facing the mirror. He positions you on all four pushing your head against the mattress in a way you still can watch him. He spreads your asscheeks running his finger up and down your slit before spitting on it, you flinch at the contact earning a laugh from your lover. You roll your eyes at his antics. Soon his fingers find their way inside  your cunt you gasp at the sudden intrusion but relax when you feel the in and out motion of his digits. You start to throw your hips back to meet his thrust eager to feel more. 

The image the mirror is displaying is sinful. Both of your bodies are in the light of the moon so you can clearly distinguish the black marks on your boyfriend's body, his brows are knitted eyes travelling between your face and your pussy to admire each of your reactions. He knows your body perfectly and the way he curls his finger has you building up your orgasm quickly. Before you can feel any release he pulls them out, your eyes go wide as you're searching for his eyes in the mirror. You turn around facing him

"Why did you stop i was so close" you cry  reaching for his hand, he dirges it to his crotch

"I'm going to come in my pants like an teenager if i don't fuck you right now" you hear the urgence in his voice. The past few weeks must have been frustrating for him too. You capture his lips in a heated kiss to show that you understand before resuming your position.

Sukuna pulls his underwear down eagerly before stroking his cock a few times. You wiggle your ass to gain his interest again, being finally second away from what you've been wanting for weeks. Getting the memo he grabs your side firmly locking his lustful gaze with yours one more time. You both let out a filthy moan when he enters your pussy, it's just the tip and it makes your whole body buzz needing more. He gradually buries his length inside of you making your eyes roll in the back of your head. It's been so long, the stretch makes you feel alive again.Sukuna starts to thrust in and out of you, tightening his grip on your hips . 

The empty room echoes with moan grunts and the wet sound of your bodies meeting you feel so slutty right now creaming on Sukuna's cock while you should probably get some rest but the sensation is too good you bury your head in the pillow to muffle your cries. Sukuna's body leans on top of you when he grabs your hair to pull you from the covers. you meet his eyes through the mirror one more time"Say my name baby let them know who you belong to" the tears well up in your eyes at his request.You extend your hands in front of you gripping the sheets. `` Sukuna" you pant "Can't hear you baby" he grunt in your neck "Sukuna! fuck" you moan at his hard thrust "Feel so good" you cry. the tears fall freely from your eyes blurring your vision. You're on edge overwhelmed by what you see and what you feel. 

Pulling harder on your hair Sukuna positions you on top of him as he rests on his butt. Bitting on your neck and playing with your tits his head rests just above your shoulder to look at the sweet torture he's inflicting you. By now your fucked dumb on his cock you head resting agaisnt his as you don't have the strenght to hold it on your own. Slick is running down your inner thigh and the new added pleasure he grants you by playing with your chest has you muttering incoherent moans out loud.  It gets worse when one of his hands travels south to your mound rubbing at your clit; it feels like an electric shock as he starts bouncing you on his cock again. It only takes a few strokes for your body to spasm against his finally consumed by the pleasure. But he doesn't stop there moving your body up and down like a ragdoll, searching for his own release. His grunts get louder, his thrust sloppier, you know his close. 

Suddenly you feel the mattress against your back opening your eyes you see Sukuna thighs encasing your face as he stroke is cock above your head knowing what he is thinking about you open your mouth. His breath is erratic but you still catch the "good girl" he mutters at your obedience.The stream of his cum fill your mouth and you swallow it whole licking your lips when you're done, the taste is gross but it feels weirdly satisfying at the moment. Sukuna breathing is back to normal he caress your cheek a tender gaze directed to you

"This will get you through the night hm ? A dirty midnight snack for my dirty girl" he coos. You lean into his touch kissing his palm

"Thank you Sukuna '' your eyes are getting heavy by the second you finally close them. You hear the sheets ruffles and the cover being pulled over your body. You let out a satisfied hum when the warm body of your boyfriend presses against yours.

The next morning you're on your way out to buy some groceries, closing the door and walking down the hallway when you come face to face with a neighbor, he is tall with jet black hair and emerald green eyes. You notice a scar adorning the corner of his mouth. A playful grin appears on his face  when he notices you greet him not knowing if you should introduce yourself. You notice his eyes lingering on your neck when you realise that it's probably littered with bite marks, you gasp in embarrassment rushing to the stairs. You hear a deep from where you left the mischievous neighbour. 

[thehighladywrites]

Beneath their smiles

ft. Rhysand

SUMMARY: You find out your friends used you for status, leaving you heartbroken. Rhysand is here for you<3

warnings: swearing, hurt, comfort,fluff, shitty friends, nice revenge.

A/N: Kind of a personal one for me, I used to have shitty friends like this so this was really satisfying to write😋

banners: @cafekitsune

There was nothing in the world that Rhys hated more than seeing you upset.

What could have possibly made his sweet darling this upset? You were sitting in his lap, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. He had one hand supporting your back while the other was drawing soothing circles. You were crying your eyes out, hiccuping, not even managing to talk properly between sobs when he asked what had happened to you.

You sat there for hours, listening to him whisper calming words of love and support. Finally, you looked up to him and the sight broke his heart.

After your crying session, your eyes were bloodshot, puffy, and swollen. Dried tear streaks ran down your face, making you look utterly drained, vulnerable, and sad. His protective instincts upon seeing his mate in such a vulnerable state were going crazy. It made him start making plans to confront whatever or whoever had made his mate cry so much. But Rhysand didn’t push you to speak if you weren’t ready. He knew you’d tell them whenever you were.

You took a steadying breath and spilled everything that had happened before your eyes started to blur again.

"Rhysie, I had the most horrible day ever. My friends completely cut me off for no good reason. They all made secret plans to catch up, and I saw them in front of me, laughing and huddled together. I so so badly wanted to go up to them, but when I got closer, I overheard them say that they weren't going to include me in their plans. They also whispered that I was a burden to you, and that a low-born nobody like me was only useful when getting invited to balls and parties – that our friendship was just a charade for their own amusement. They'd pretended to be my friends, but in reality, I was nothing more than a pawn in their game of social climbing. So, it turns out they were never truly friends; they were just using me for access to the stupid parties they craved. I feel so foolish,Rhys. They always chattered about parties and festivals, but I thought they enjoyed my company. “

He kissed your temple and let you silently cry on his shoulder again. He masked any anger he had, because it wasn’t about his revenge now, it was about comforting you.

“Oh, my sweet darling, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. You deserve real friends who appreciate you for who you are, not just for the parties you can provide. You’re such a kind and wonderful person, and this experience with those vermins doesn’t define your worth at all. We’ll get through this together, my love. I promise you’ll find new, genuine friends who will value you for the amazing person you are, and who will see your kind heart and genuine soul. Remember that I’m always here for you, and I love you so much, okay? If you want to, we can banish them.”

You give him a tired smile and let out a sigh of comfort at the feel of love he sends through the bond. He gives you a sweet, loving kiss as he carries you to bed, tucking you to lay with one arm on his chest as you tucked your face in the crook of his neck. He had an arm protectively slung around your waist, keeping you as close as possible.

” Thanks Rhysie, m’so happy to have you forever. I love you s’much. But that’s not necessary, I have something better in mind. “

“ Of course darling, I love you too, can’t wait to hear about this diabolical plan my baby has planned. “

You let out a genuine laugh, and he gives you a last kiss before he pulls you closer. He runs his hands through your hair, as he always does whenever you’re upset, lulling you to a comforting sleep.

- - -

The night was beautiful, millions of starts decorated the dark sky, and the music filled the air. You and Rhysand were hosting an exquisite starfall party in your home. It was a celebration that enhanced the beauty of Velaris. A perfect night for some payback.

As the guests were flown up to The House of Wind, elegant guests in shimmering attire began to mingle with eachother. Among them was all of your friends and family from other courts, like Helion, Kallias and Vivienne, Thesan, Tarquin and so many more joined to celebrate.

Suddenly, at the edge of the entrance, your oblivious friends huddled together ready to dance the night away. Their faces masked with false smiles and ill intentions. They attempted to join the festivities, whispering and snickering, oblivious to the icy glares they received from your inner circle who knew of their betrayal.

However, the sentries, loyal to Rhysand, stood firm. As your friends approached, the guards blocked their path, not allowing them a step further.

"Sorry, but you can't enter," Declan, one of the sentries declared, his voice carrying authority.

Your friends exchanged bewildered glances, their arrogance suddenly shattered by reality. They had always been invites to the High Lords party, what the hell was going on?

"What do you mean?" one of them demanded, her voice tinged with false innocence. "We were invited."

The sentry raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. " We have specific orders to not let you in. In fact if you don’t move, I’ll throw all of you in a holding cell for the night. Move along. ”

Seeing the High Lord's sentinel not wavering their stance, the mean friends grew flustered. They attempted to argue, to demand, to manipulate. But Velaris, under the rule of Rhysand, had no place for those who betrayed and used others for personal gain. Especially not his perfect mate. No, they weren’t ever going to hurt you again.

” I think there has been a mistake. Do you know how we are? We’re friends with the Lady of night, and we’re always invited. So let us speak to Y/N she’ll know who we are. ”

Tired of seeing their pathetic attempts, you drag Rhysand over to them to resolve the situation. But before you can say anything, Rhysand speaks up as he looks at them with disgust and wrath.

"Your actions towards my mate and your Lady are disgraceful. It's clear you've treated her with cruelty and deceit. You've shown a complete lack of respect and compassion. In my city, I value loyalty and kindness, qualities you so clearly lack. Know that I won't tolerate any more harm coming her way, because if any of harrass my mate again, I’ll see to it that it’s the last thing you do.

You’ve been asked to leave once, and you won’t be asked again. This is a night of celebration and unity, not a place for your pathetic attempt at deception. Your presence here is unwelcome, and I will not tolerate any disruption. It’s in your best interest to leave now, before Declan makes good on his word. ”

You look to him with a small smile and say into his mind,

” Thank you honey, I don’t know if I would’ve had the strenght to say all that. I love you so much. ”

” I love you too, but don’t thank me darling, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. ”

Defeated and stunned your now former friends were left with no choice but to retreat, their faces flushed with embarrassment and anger as they slinked away from the entrance, watched by the crowd.

Observing the whole scene you both couldn't help but smile as he tightened his hold on you. He had protected his mate and ensured that the party remained a celebration of true friendships, leaving no room for something other than that.

[autisticlancemcclain]

“You know I love you, right?”

Keith smiles. He doesn’t stop his hands from their constant brushes through his boyfriend’s hair, doesn’t shift or move. Lance stays where he is, too, full weight on Keith’s body, head pillowed on his chest, moving slightly with every breath.

“Yes,” Keith says. “I know.”

“Good.” Keith feels the rumble of Lance’s voice in his ribcage, the puffs of his breath on his bare skin. “‘Cause I tease you, a lot, so I wasn’t sure if you knew.”

“I do. I know.” He pauses as he runs his fingers over the shell of Lance’s ear, tracing the scar on his skull, before gently tapping his finger three times. For a while Lance simply breathes, sinking into Keith’s touch, then he shifts slightly, turning brown eyes up to meet Keith’s.

“How do you know, though? Like if you had to define it.”

Keith leans down slightly to press a kiss to his freckled nose, just to watch it wrinkle. It makes him grin. “I just do, Lance. You say my name like you love me.”

The answer doesn’t seem to placate Lance completely, but enough that he sighs, putting his head back down on Keith’s chest and reaching over blindly to pull their blankets up to his chin.

“Okay.”

Keith says nothing for a long while, humming to himself, enjoying the feeling of Lance’s soft skin under his hands, the weight of his body pressing him into the mattress. It’s a relief after a long day, a balm to his exhausted muscles and tired brain.

“Why do you ask?”

“No reason.”

Keith tugs a strand of Lance’s hair in admonishment, not enough to hurt, but he grumbles anyway.

“Try again.”

“Maybe I don’t love the man who hurts me so,” Lance pouts, sticking out his bottom lip and rubbing his scalp like it actually hurts.

Keith rolls his eyes. Lance grins, then sighs.

“Just — someone said something, at training. Kind of huffed and said something about how annoying it was that we still don’t like each other.”

Keith snorts. “Well, you did shoot me.”

“I was justified! You were being irritating!” Lance shifts, moving to his belly so he can look at Keith properly, glaring. “And I put my bayard on stun! It barely hurt!”

Love of his life or not, Keith loves getting this man so riled up.

“Yeah, the giant bruise I have says otherwise.”

There is no giant bruise.

But messing with Lance is funny.

“You are not fucking bruised!”

Before Lance can get too enraged and start stripping him down to make sure, Keith laughs, giving up the game and grabbing Lance’s wrists. He pulls him forward so he loses his balance, arms around Keith’s neck, barely managing to catch himself before their heads smack together, face inches from Keith’s.

“You worry too much,” Keith whispers, nosing his way down Lance’s cheeks, peppering kisses as he goes. “I don’t give a shit what anyone else says. The whole point of keeping them in the dark is so that I can have you —” he bites Lance’s earlobe gently, pulling it slightly, making the Cuban’s breath hitch — “all to myself.”

“Still,” Lance tries to insist, but Keith can physically feel his resolve falling away, feel him melting into Keith’s touch. “It bothers me that people think I can do anything but love you. You’re — I dunno. You’re everything to me. You make me feel like I can keep going.”

Keith can’t help his smile, and he knows Lance feels it, pressed into the junction of his neck. He kisses slightly there, and Lance turns his head to give him access, slides his hands into Keith’s hair as he works a mark into dark skin.

“That’s gay,” Keith mumbles, as fondly as he can.

It takes a second for Lance to clock Keith’s words, too focused on the besotted sound of them, but he huffs when he does, shoving Keith away and glaring at him.

Keith bursts out laughing.

“You’re the worst,” Lance says, but soon he’s smiling, too. Keith leans in and kisses that smile, because he can and because he wants to.

“I know.”

“Jerk. I’m divorcing you.”

Keith hums, tugging him back down under the covers, wrapping him back into the position he was in earlier. “You won’t even let me marry you.”

“We are twenty years old,” Lance grumbles, but every time he says it he sounds less and less like he cares. “We’re not getting married at twenty years old.”

“We’ll see.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Lance settles into the silence, breathing evening again, wandering hands going still.

“I love you too, by the way,” Keith murmurs, suddenly worried that Lance doesn’t know.

He feels Lance’s lips upturn, and smiles to match it.

He knows.

[actual-changeling]

Do you think Aziraphale has been verbally, emotionally and psychologically abused by Heaven as well?

I will answer this question like one asked in good faith even though my gut is telling me there's a 50/50 chance it is very much not one.

So!

There are two parts to his answer, or rather one question is actually two.

Firstly, we have to talk about whether heaven is abusive, what that abuse looks like, and how it differs from hell.

Secondly, how did the results of question one affect Aziraphale, if it is different from what the other angels in heaven face, and what additional trauma might he have experienced due to being on earth.

I could write a 10k meta post about this and go into the finest detail, but I will just try and stick to the main points for now. It's still going to be way too long because I am so fucking tired of people accusing me of 'hating' Aziraphale or harassing me on my posts or in my inbox.

Is heaven abusive? Yes, and it applies to both heaven as an institution and the Archangels running it.

Getting to know Muriel and what their life looks like was extremely helpful in properly defining this, because they showed us that although the Archangels tend to travel and work as a group, most of the angels are incredibly isolated.

The result is complete emotional neglect, which not only impairs your ability to form and maintain healthy relationships with other people, it also stops your from learning emotional regulation and how to behave and feel as a part of (angelic) society. We see the consequences of that in Muriel, who comes across as overly naive, socially awkward, and out of touch with not just people but themselves.

When your entire life has been shrunk down to what happens inside your own head, suddenly being confronted with having to live outside of your mind is jarring, overwhelming, and foreign.

How do you talk to people when no one ever taught you how to do that? How do you behave around someone after a lifetime of being alone? How do your regulate your responses to their behaviour?

Who are you when there is someone else to perceive you?

Figuring that out is complicated and it takes time, and while most of the angels are only distantly aware of how humans live and what kind of interactions some of the other angels might have, the effects of that neglect stay the same whether they are aware of it or not.

Muriel shows us that angels are not born/made as a blank slate, and neither are humans for that matter. Tabula rasa as a philosophical belief is one thing, but reality is very, very different.

Angels also appear to have the same inherent need for connection, for a caretaker that loves them unconditionally, for someone to help them figure out how to be, and that provides a safe space to make mistakes. Without some or all of that, you grow up into a disregulated, socially awkward if not inept person who does not know how to have relationships or how to properly exist.

It is one of the reasons why autistic people are a) almost always traumatized to some degree and b) do not know how to socialize. No one ever works with our brains, and the resulting neglect is very similar to not receiving any help at all.

If you are now curious what happens if you're both autistic and were completely socially neglected, the result is uh. me. Hi! Not nice, but at least I am very sure I win the award for being my therapist's most fucked up client, so that's something.

Yet the angels are not solely emotionally neglected, the system/household they live in demands a low self-esteem, a lack of individual identity, and complete adherence to a defined ideology and behavioural pattern. In short, you are told how to be a useless, tiny part in a bigger machine, that your only purpose is to succeed at your tasks, and any opportunity for individual development is removed or destroyed.

If you are now once again curious what that might be like, uh, yeah, hi once more. Obviously my childhood was not exactly like an angels life, but the core characteristics were the same, just realized differently. Again, not pretty, really, really fucks you over.

Take that and the neglect, combine it into one person, and then drop them in the Garden of Eden—hello Aziraphale! Crowley got dropped into hell first, experienced more abuse, and then dug his way up into Eden before joining him.

Aziraphale experienced everything Muriel (and Crowley, and every other celestial being) also experienced, with one main difference: He is the one who got away.

We have to remember that out of every single celestial being, Aziraphale got the best deal. He did not fall, he got out of heaven (more or less) permanently, and was then largely left alone.

Does that erase anything I laid out above? No, of course not!

It simply provided him with the opportunity to heal, to take his cPTSD and who knows what other disorders he developed as a result, and start recovering.

Canonically, heaven did not bother him, like, ever, except for the odd note about 'frivolous miracles' or ten minutes of catching up every millennia. They only started monitoring him once they started to suspect he was involved with Crowley and trying to stop the apocalypse from happening.

Aziraphale worked on some things, he got better in many regards, especially with Crowley there to support him, but after six thousand years, many aspects have stayed the same or regressed back to the start over and over.

I will tell you a hard pill to swallow now: If you refuse to acknowledge your issues to instead live in a world of nicer denial and compartmentalization even when you have been offered the chance to change it, that is partly on YOU.

Is it fair? Fuck no! It's not fair at all, and I have had so many breakdowns over that fact. I did not break it, this is not my FAULT so why should I have to fix it all on my own? Why do I have to do the work, not them? How come they get away with it while I am going to have to carry this for the rest of my life?

I still have to do it though. I have to do the work, no matter how uncomfortable and exhausting, because I want to get better.

-

This conversation has so many facets and is a lot more complex, but this is already long enough, so if you have any questions or want to know something specific (while asking politely and in good faith) just send me an ask; I will do my best to answer it.

-

We are now only missing the last part of question 2, and that one is also so fucking complicated reducing it to the main points almost feels wrong, but I will do it anyway. Again, just ask if you have questions.

Abusive households are horrible, and you want to get out and away, but they are also the only thing you know. The world is scary, too big, too open, where did all the rules go that were previously defining your life?

Surviving in an abusive environment means you establish routine after routine after routine for every possible horrible scenario, you write a mental rule book to try and reduce the abuse (don't make them angry, don't cry when they're already shouting, don't do this, don't do that, do x but not y), and THAT is your socialization. THAT is everything you know, everything you are, everything you know relationships to be like.

Once you are away from that, you are completely and utterly lost. Even breathing feels like making a mistake, you feel watched, judged, rated, berated, you have them stuck in your fucking head. So you keep sticking to what you know, your behavioural patterns that have kept you safe your entire life.

The problem is that they kept you safe, past tense. In a healthy environment, all of those coping mechanisms are now maladaptive and harm you instead of keeping you safe.

However, breaking out of them and starting from scratch is terrifying. So, so, so terrifying. I live in constant fear, I feel judged and unsafe in my own flat with the curtains shut and the lights on. I feel like I am about to get subjected to another one of his fits for daring to use the stove.

No matter what you do, your body and brain are SCREAMING at you that diverging from what you know will kill you—and then you have to do it anyway.

Do it alone and afraid and awkwardly but DO IT. Otherwise you will always find a way to recreate the environment you grew up in, whether that is people getting into unhealthy relationships and replicating the patterns they know (which Aziraphale does with Crowley, e.g. the push-pull of his affection) or eventually even returning to it because they ruined you, but a part of you is so, so attached to them you just have to try and change them.

Some people can move on from it without going back, but sometimes you need to try and experience that failure for yourself before being able to move on, and that's where Aziraphale is at.

He needs to try and fail to be capable of finally committing to recovering.

So, to summarize this entire shitshow: Yes, Aziraphale experienced emotional neglect and abuse, and while it is different to what Crowley went through and objectively less intense and physical, it is still just as valid and horrid.

Just because a car accident is objectively worse than falling off a bike doesn't mean the biker's pain is unimportant. Both can kill you, both can hurt you, and both deserve to get their injuries treated.

Questions?

[noroi1000]

Hi girl, I read your yandere stories and I’ve noticed that there is only one where Y/n is the yandere, well that I’m aware of. I had this idea of what if Y/n is the yandere in this story. It is a Geto x y/n x Gojo btw. I’m this story Geto and Gojo are dead, because Geto was executed and let’s say that Gojo died from a mission or something. Y/n couldn’t get over their deaths and slowly looses her sanity. And what if Geto and Gojo from the past when they were in high school teleport to the future by accident. I have no idea in how they meet so It can be however you want. Basically she takes them to her house and she lied to them that she’ll help them get back as long as they stay with her for the time being. She basically manipulates them into staying with her by saying that they died in the future and how lost, lonely and depressed she feels and not letting them leave the house. And as time went by they also loose their sanity because their stuck with her because they feel guilty and she makes them think that is safer for them to stay with her and that they need her in order to live. Only y/n knows about the past Gojo and Geto and keeps it a secret from everybody. She uses a veil around her house to his their curse energy so that other sorcerers wouldn’t notice. Basically they take care of the house while she works. I hope you like this idea and do it once you start doing requests again.

See you again

Gojo and Geto x yandere reader Warnings: manipulation, death

Summary: You loved them... They were your Satoru and Suguru... But they died leaving you alone... Your technique has never been precisely defined. Until it all ended. You have received life with them again. You didn't want to lose them. You lived with them. With someone you brought from the past to you. But they can't stay with you forever, right? There must be some way...

You just came back from the funeral.

There were circles under your eyes. Your face is pale.

Your hair is not combed properly.

You gave up any makeup because you knew you would cry.

Your eyes were red and burning.

They hurt as much as your heart.

It hurt terribly.

Carelessly dropping your shoes and coat on the floor, you didn't even bother to correct you or put your shoes and coat back in their place.

You left it as it was meant to be. On the floor.

You knelt down near your bed, lighting two candles on the altar you had in your room.

At least that's what you could do for memory.

You took the picture frame in your hands, hugging it. And he pulled out a piece of paper with the figure of your beloved Suguru on it.

He pulled another photo out of the drawer. And I put it in the frame, putting it on the shelf behind the candles. Photo of Suguru and Satoru standing with you.

Suguru died last year... And you couldn't even see his face before he died.

Satoru just told you about it.

And to this day, only his picture has stood there.

Now, there's a picture of both of them there.

Because two days ago, you found out that Satoru didn't return from his mission.

That he died.

Yesterday you cried when his body lay in Shoko's morgue.

You didn't want to leave him.

Yaga carried you out of there by force. Because it was necessary to prepare his body.

By giving you harsh sedatives, he calmed you down even more.

You couldn't sleep for several nights. Knowing that your other friend you loved died. He has gone already.

You went to his funeral being an absolute wreck.

Pale and tired.

Even after everyone had gone, you knelt before the tombstone with his name on it, weeping into oblivion.

Until Nanami came for you and brought you home.

You were there now.

Looking at the picture of the three of you on the altar.

Suguru, Satoru and you.

they died. Their bodies were cold. Their hearts did not beat.

You're on the shrine too because that (y/n) who was alive when they were died too...

    More than once, everyone you know has told you that you need to see a psychologist.

Stuffing yourself with sedative pills couldn't help you much.

Everyone's been telling you that.

They told you to go to a psychologist to forget about it and start a new life. Not to think that they don't exist.

You need to calm down and live as you were meant to live.

forgetting about it.

You had to come to terms with their deaths.

But honestly, you couldn't...

You lied to them about going to a psychologist. And you were actually coming home.

And you've never been to any doctor.

You even stopped contacting all of them.

You spent your days being at home.

You took tranquilizers every day.

You felt worse every day.

Every day it got worse with your mental health.

You missed them.

So....

You were talking to yourself as if you were talking to them. Hoping they listen to you up in heaven...

You prayed to them as you knelt on the ground in front of Satoru's tombstone.

You only begged for one thing...

For them to come back to you...

Your prayers have been heard.

One day, when you were sitting on the ground, staring blankly at the inscription in the stone, you saw white hair in the distance.

You were sure it was some old man visiting dead relatives.

However, this person was too tall for the old man. Too young.

And next to this person you saw another young person. Dark hair. Bun...

You stood up automatically, your legs leading you straight to them.

When they heard the rustling of leaves, they looked in your direction.

To see your dirty pants from kneeling and sitting on the damp ground. Your jacket was loose and your hood fell off your head as you looked at them.

Your eyes that had been shedding tears before started crying again. Even stronger than before.

You fell to your knees looking at them lifeless.

But at the same time, your eyes shone. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest.

"Hey, what's going on?" The white-haired man asked as they approached.

They didn't know what they were doing here.

All they know is that they were suddenly thrown to the ground here.

Your Jujutsu technique has never been revealed.

But you doubted that you were capable of bringing people back to life...

They looked the same as when they were at school.

And they were also wearing uniforms.

What if your technique gives you what you want?

That it takes what you want to a given place and time?

For some reason, when you needed something badly, it would suddenly appear next to you.

While studying at Jujutsu High, you were told many times that Tengen talked about opening a strange hole in his barrier.

Nobody knew what your technique was.

And you knew you could open something like portals.

Interspace portals.

And now it turns out you can also open time portals...

"Something's wrong?" The dark-haired man asked, crouching in front of you.

You got them back, didn't you...?

You pounced on him, cuddling into his chest.

"H-Hey..." he muttered in surprise.

It wasn't normal for a woman to suddenly hug him.

Also, it wasn't normal that they suddenly appeared here. They were just at school!

You clenched your fingers on his clothes, crying harder.

And he gently pushed you away.

"Who are you?" He asked surprised by your behavior.

It's obvious they won't recognize you...

You are 10 years older... You are not a teenager...

They might think of you as just some crazy old woman now.

You were 27 years old. They could have been about 17 now...

Hearing his voice, you started to cry even more, burying your face in your hands.

Z you must have looked so pathetic...

Kneel in the dry autumn leaves, have wet pants from the dampness of the earth.

"What is it about?" The white-haired man looked at his friend.

"I don't know..." he replied.

"Miss, what happened?" Asked the white-haired.

They were ordered to save people from curses. And you looked like you had dozens of them in your life.

Pale skin, dark circles under the eyes.

They met at the cemetery. So you must have suffered somehow. You were the perfect victim for curses.

But you didn't have one...

They didn't know how it was possible. But it was.

"...Suguru...Satoru..." you moaned into your hands.

They both widened their eyes upon hearing that.

And you suddenly got up and ran away from them.

It couldn't be them...

After all, Satoru's grave was still there!

"Oi!" They shouted at the same time.

They started running after you.

There was something wrong with you.

But your voice was strangely familiar...

They searched for you among the tall tombstones until they found you sitting on the ground with your legs on either side of your body.

You wiped your tears from your face.

They approached you slowly.

There must have been a reason why you ran away.

What they thought was that they reminded you of someone. Someone dead.

And it was true.

"Ma'am... Are you okay?" the dark haired one asked.

But as He looked at the inscription on the grave, his eyes widened.

„Gojo”

"What's wrong, Suguru?"

"Satoru..." He grunted and pointed to the tombstone.

A new grave around which there were flowers.

"...Huh...?"

The white-haired froze upon seeing this inscription.

There weren't many people with that last name...

The statue was brand new.

And at the bottom was a photo in a metal frame.

It was definitely a new tombstone.

Gojo, shaking off the shock, reached for the frame.

Geto crouched next to you and put his hand on your shoulder.

"It's me?" Gojo pointed his finger at the white-haired man in the blindfold in the photo.

You looked and nodded your head.

"Who are these?"

He looked at the people around him. Pink-haired, dark-haired, red-haired girl, the other with black and green hair, a short boy with a mask on his face. And also a panda.

All in Jujutsu school uniforms.

You cried at the grave. He must have been more to you.

"I died here?" he grunted as he looked at the picture.

There's a reason it stood on the grave with his name on it.

On the frame was written "Happy Birthday, Gojo-sensei".

"I was their teacher?"

He kept looking.

He saw Yaga in the account and Nanami next to it. I guess it was him. Stoic face and blond hair... A woman and a man with glasses stood on the other side. Shoko and someone else...

And right next to him in the picture was a woman with (h/c) hair. He kept his hand on her waist as they both smiled for the photo.

"(y/n)...?"

Suguru looked at him in shock.

He put the photo down and looked at you.

"(y/n)? Is that you?"

You didn't answer him, but you looked at him, still wiping away your tears.

He looked at your eyes. No shine.

It was you... It was definitely you...

"(y/n)?" Suguru echoed, also looking at the photo.

Without a moment's hesitation, the boy in the glasses reached for you, hugging you to his chest.

Holding you tight.

You mourned that he died here...

Why are they even here?

is this a dream?

If so, it's not a nice dream.

You crying at the grave with his name on it? It all seemed too accurate for an ordinary dream...

Also, those people in the photo...

All of them...

And you...

"Suguru... This is (y/n)... She... I don't live here..." He looked at his friend with a frown.

You didn't want to let them go. You kept hugging them. You kept holding them.

And they managed to get you to get up and go with them.

You took them to your house.

You decided to speak only after you entered the room.

Even though it was warmer there, the atmosphere was so cold...

You slovenly tossed off your jacket and shoes.

You went lifeless to one place.

To your shrine with their picture.

They looked around your house before following you.

It didn't look like your home.

You would never feel so empty. However, everything pointed to this being your home.

They both saw boxes of pills on the shelf. It was a disturbing sight...

Then they followed you and saw you kneeling on the floor looking at the picture.

"You both left me..." you said calmly. "You both died leaving me alone..."

"Both?" Satoru asked.

"You died a few days ago... Suguru last year..." you muttered.

"And my grave?" Suguru asked.

"There's no... nowhere." You said in a broken voice. "From 2007 to last year - 2017, you lived as a curse user..."

"Curse user?" repeated.

"What did he do?" Gojo asked and gave his friend an intimidating look.

"May I know how old are you...?"

"17."

"Suguru... When you were 18, you killed 112 people in the village on a mission..." you said calmly. But your breath wasn't like that.

"Me?"

You nodded.

Gojo looked at Geto as if he wanted to strangle him.

"Say... If you had to choose now, would you choose this way?" you asked.

"No... Why?"

"You hated people who weren't sorcerers..."

"How did he die?" Satoru asked.

"He was fighting one of your students. I know Suguru didn't want to kill him... And you knew it too. So he lost."

"He killed him?"

"...You did it..."

He widened his eyes upon hearing this...

"I wasn't there to stop Suguru from becoming a curse user... I wasn't there to stop you from finishing him... But according to the rules he was supposed to die... I'm sorry Suguru... I failed you..."

"It's not your fault..."

"But it's your fault I'm like this! Lonely and depressed! You don't know what life is like! I hate this! I don't want to live without you!” You screamed. You didn't care if the neighbors heard.

"I died on a mission?"

"Yeah...I don't know how...I wasn't there..." You groaned crying.

"If we died here, you must live on..." Geto said, sitting down next to you.

"It's all your fault... I don't want to live without you..."

"(y/n)–."

"Don't leave me again!"

They both suddenly hugged.

"What do you say when we get home we'll try to make sure that doesn't happen? So you're not alone now..."

"But I want you now! If you leave, it will be the same as before! I will wait years for this to change! I don't want to be alone all the time!"

"But somehow we have to get back..."

"I don't want to lose you again!"

"We can't be here..."

"But something can happen to you! I don't want to experience this again! Not now that I've met you!"

You started crying again.

They looked at your house again.

Just as empty as your eyes when they met you in the graveyard...

The most adorned place is the altar where you are now.

Suddenly you got an idea...

You don't want them to go away...

But they don't know how they can come back...

So they'll be here as long as they can't find their way back home...

They can be here with you all this time...

And maybe they'll never know it's something related to your Jujutsu technique...

You don't even know what it's about...

You can "protect" them as long as they're here. After all, they don't know where they are.

Anything can be dangerous for them.

"What if I help you find your way home?" You asked quietly.

They looked at each other.

"But I have one condition..."

                        "You stay here. You don't leave this house... I will protect you from whatever may happen... You can easily get lost... I will look for a solution... But stay with me as long as possible..."

"Suguru, do you think it's okay that we're still here?"

"What do you mean?"

"We've been here for half a year... Is there really no way back?" he asked, watching the soup his friend had cooked bubbling in the pot.

"She promised to help us get back. I believe she is trying. But we can't forget that she also has her job and her life." He told him, adjusting the apron around his waist.

"Sometimes I forget where we were supposed to go back... It's as if my memory is malfunctioning..." said the white-haired man, handing him the plates.

"I have that too... But I wonder, is everything okay. She is happy. The first time we saw her, she wasn't smiling at all. And now she..."

"She is happy. I know. I'm glad that happened. But six months in a future where we're both dead is something else entirely..."

"Do you think we should ask her about the results?" He asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"I think so... But she needs us, doesn't she?" He put his hand over his mouth.

"She's so lonely without us... She's worried... Can we really leave her here like this?"

You protect them, you make money and you live with them.

A small curtain is placed around the house. So that sorcerers do not smell them in your house.

It was something you did to take care of them.

But their psyche has deteriorated...

They felt bad that you suffered for so many years because of them.

They felt guilty for your tears.

But you kept them locked up in the house.

They didn't go out. You forbade them.

They simply did not see this world outside this apartment.

You were going to work. You visited the grave of an adult Satoru who died six months ago.

But you didn't cry. Your humor was good.

Because they were with you, you were happy.

But they sense

You manipulated them somehow...

But it was fine as long as you were happy...

You entered the house. Running straight to them. Hugging them hello.

They greeted you with a smile.

As always.

The atmosphere was so good. You ate the food Suguru cooked.

You were watching TV.

To go to bed later.

Satoru lay behind you, holding your waist as he hugged you. You cuddled up to Suguru, running your fingers over his jaw as he smiled slightly at you.

Those were your dream days.

Dream nights.

That was one night you remember.

"The first time we hugged like this was the day before your rescue mission with Riko-chan... Do you remember?" You said calmly.

"Who?" Satoru moaned, laying his head over yours. He squeezed you tighter in his arms.

"Amanai Riko." you repeated. "You secured her. Star plasma vessel."

"I don't know who you're talking about..." He muttered closing his eyes.

He wanted to sleep.

"Star plasma vessel? What are you talking about, (y/n)?" Suguru asked.

"Don't you remember that? You backed this girl up to Master Tengen."

"I don't recall it. Did something like that happen?"

You suddenly pulled away from them, sitting on the bed.

"You really don't remember that?" you asked looking at them seriously.

They looked at each other and then at you. They nodded their heads side to side.

"Wait... You should remember that... It happened before you came here. Or rather during this."

"We don't know what you're talking about."

"You should remember that! I understand that you don't know what happened next because you are young, but you should at least remember Riko's name!"

"We really don't know who it is..." Satoru said as he lay down on his back.

They lose their memory...

The more time passes, the less they remember...

They should remember Riko. After all, they told you that they moved here the day they found out about this mission...

They don't remember her...

They don't remember that they helped Mei Mei and Utahime...

They don't remember what happened on Suguru's 17th birthday in February. Even though it was unforgettable...

They don't remember anymore...

They lose their memories here every day.

And what if they finally forget everything they remembered while there?

Then what?

Nothing is going to happen...

The sorcerer slayer will live...

Tengen will not receive a Star plasma vessel...

Little Megumi will not be raised by Satoru...

There will be no demon parade on December 24...

No one can stop Yuji's execution...

But neither will they.

If they forget everything... They will disappear...

How many days are left until their birth...

17 years. However, they will disappear later.

It will be as if they don't exist at all...

Everything that happened to them will not happen...

Because they won't exist...

Which also shows that you won't remember them either...

Because at some point they disappeared while you were at school.

All you can remember is that you had two friends, but they mysteriously disappeared and never came back.

Everything you remember with them... Will evaporate...

"God... What have I done..." you groaned as your eyes filled with tears.

By you. Because you keep them here, they will die here. And no one who remembers them now will know about them.

It will be as if they don't exist for most people.

You will barely remember them. Same with Shoko and Nanami and Yaga...

"What happened?" Suguru asked.

You started to cry feeling terrible.

You're starting to forget now, aren't you?

"You need to go home..." you groaned. "I don't want to, but you have to."

"But we have to find our way home first."

"It was my technique that brought you here!" You moaned loudly.

Their eyes widened.

your technique?

After all, you didn't have a specific technique in school.

Have you had...?

they don't remember...

"I don't know how, but it happened...! I wanted you to come back to me, and suddenly you appeared then, in the cemetery!"

"You moved us here?" Suguru asked.

"I didn't know! I still don't know how! But you can't stay here!"

"Why? You'll be lonely without us." Satoru said, sitting up with his legs apart.

"You will die here if you stay! Disappearing as if you didn't exist!"

"But we can't leave you." Suguru spoke up.

You messed up their brains so all they can think of is that they made you suffer...

You still have time with them...

You can be with them for a few more years...

But they will forget you after a few years... After all, you met them for the first time in the first year of Jujutsu High.

And if two years pass, they'll forget how they met you...

You didn't want to see them die. You don't want them to die a second time...

Not that way.

They will die because of you!

Because you wanted to keep them for you.

But you didn't want them to die again...

"You can move us back, right?"

"Toru?"

"You can do it, right?"

"I don't know..."

"Try..." Suguru told you.

"Don't leave me again!" you shouted.

"And you will keep us here until we die?"

You widened your eyes at his words. So cruelly true...

"Will you keep us here until we die, or will you let us come back to make sure nothing happens?"

You looked at Satoru.

You don't want them to leave you...

When they come back nothing will ever be fixed...

"We promise you that we won't let you be alone like you have to now. But let us out of here."

"I'll never see you again if I do this..."

"But we will fix it. It will be the way you always wanted. That we'll be with you."

"You can't fix this!"

"If you can open a passage for us, we will also be able to keep our promise."

You suddenly stood in front of the bed. You always trusted them.

Did you at least try to make it...

You put your hands on the floor and thought about how much you want to see your school days...

You felt your energy evaporate for a moment.

And to your right there was a passage showing the sidewalk at your school.

"You made it..." Satoru said, surprised and amazed.

But when he saw your tearful face, he didn't smile.

You wanted to break the technique, but their hands stopped you.

"If you don't want us dead, let us go..."

"If you don't want to be alone, let us fix it."

Those two sentences made you stop.

And the transition continued to drain the energy out of you.

"Will you do something for me?" you asked.

"What?"

"Look for a solution. Fix what happened so you don't die..."

"And kill me now if you won't remember being here anyway."

"you're crazy..."

"Never!"

they said.

"If you don't, I will close the passage..." you said, giving them an ultimatum.

They stopped in front of the window in space, and looked at you again.

Either they go home and kill you, or they stay with you.

When they die, you will probably kill yourself too...

They didn't want it...

Suddenly they saw their hands appear in front of you. They both knelt on one knee in front of you.

"Maybe you want to start all over again?" Suguru asked.

"Come back with us. And do it all again. To make sure we stay together." Satoru added.

You didn't know what to do.

Start all over again?

How?

You don't know what to do with your life...

So...

"We'll be together."

These words convinced you...

All you ever wanted was their love...

You were standing with them in front of the passage.

And you didn't even turn to look at your house.

They went through a circle in the wall.

Their school uniforms appeared again on their bodies.

As they pulled your hands with a smile, you took unsteady steps.

Until finally they pulled you into their arms so you wouldn't hesitate.

Your uniform appeared on your body...

You felt different. What happened disappears from your mind quickly.

The passage behind you made a very loud sound of breaking glass as it shattered, disappearing.

"How are you feeling?" Satoru asked you, placing his hand on your cheek.

You clenched your hands on Suguru's sleeves.

"Satoru... Suguru... What just happened? After all, I was with Shoko in her room a moment ago... Why am I here with you now?"

They looked at you questioningly.

"What do you think happened now?" Suguru asked you.

"I was with Shoko. Literally a moment ago. We talked about you going on an important mission to escort the Star plasma vessel. And suddenly I heard broken glass and I appeared here in front of you. What happened?"

When they understood, they smiled.

They remembered.

You didn't remember...

"Nothing happened. We were just about to ask you if you wanted to come to town with us today. On a date."

"I want so much!"

Cursed technique: Transition User: (y/n) (l/n) A Jujutsu technique of opening passages between timelines and reality. It opens passages between the past, the future and reality. It gives the user what the user wants. Causing it to run out of control sometimes. The technique only allows moving objects and people, not including the user. When the user of the technique arrives through a passageway leading to another time, reality becomes distorted. The timeline the user exits cracks and disappears, bringing everything back to where the user enters. Wiping the user's memory of what happened in the timeline during which the user moved into the past or future. The memory of people passing through this passage with the user remains unchanged.

People experiencing the side effects of transitions: (y/n) (l/n) whose memory was erased after going to the past.

Witnesses of the transition technique in action: Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru, whose memory after the passage remained, because they passed through the main passage with the user.

As the only ones whose memories remain, Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru take over as the user's guardians - (y/n) (l/n).

[bajuuuu]

I must say after re listening to the The Thunder Saga one too many times, it really is an amazing portrait of the lyric “deep down we only care for ourselves.”

Ignoring Scylla who sings the lyric, the obvious representative is Odysseus. He uses and then kills the sirenes, he trades the lives of six crew members for safe passage for the rest of them and in the end, of course he chooses himself- his own life- over the lives of the rest of (until very recently) his crew. Over and over we see him change, see him living up to the “be the monster to everyone but us” (though us is very loosely defined here).

He stopped caring, and even the crew see this. In Different Beast Odysseus gets an entire chorus dedicated just to himself from the crew: “He is a different beast now/he is the one who feasts now.” And again “he is a man hade monster” sure the crew follow his decisions and views here they do after all start the first chorus with “we are a different beast now/ we are the ones who feast now.” But even here we see the first distinction between Odysseus and the rest. The “he” versus the “we”.

But Odysseus isn’t the only one! Eurylochus whose name I had to Google to spell properly, does the exact same. Sure. He is the voice of the crew, but that still comes second to him being “just a man” as he himself so skilfully puts it in Mutiny. He is tired and he specifically says “I am tired” instead of “we are tired”. At this point even Eurylochus goes and acts in his own interest. Even after he is told not to kill the cows. Even after Odysseus begs him not to do it.

Because the question in his mind at this point is “how much longer must suffer now/How much longer must I push through doubt.” On this island, at the end of his wits and strength even Eurylochus only thinks about himself.

Interestingly enough however, this isn’t the first time in this saga when he does so. It is however at the start of the very same song. “Tell me you did not know this would happen […] Use your wits to try and say i am crazy and mad." He begs Odysseus to lie to him. he begs him to say anything that he could use as an excuse not to engage Odysseus in the fight. but Odysseus is tired. And he has no more words to say. "I can't" he yells but Eurylochus's response isn't one of anger per se. Only… regret "then you have forced my hand". Keyword here "Forced". Eurylochus doesn't want to fight. He really doesn't. Odysseus is his friend… his brother. There is yet again a discinnect between Eurylochus the voice of the ship and Eurylochus the man.

In the end it is just two desperate, tired men doing what neither of them wants to be doing but needs to do because in the end the only person they care about is themselves.

[amaranthsynthesis]

Underdark drow sex culture has a lot of really different assumptions than the surface world. (Ex-the socially dominant group is going to often be the receptive partner during sex. Idk where that would go exactly, but I can't see them coming to the same conclusions as the surface world or ours.)

Obviously, Ballard was dealing with a lot at the time (burning of house + social transition) but I was wondering how the culture change affected him beyond 'oh boy, that's some racism'?

I know the joke about DND and the forgotten realms lore is 'some guy was really weird and horny about this set dressing so that's why it's Like That' and unfortunately. I'm on board with the guys who were weird and horny about Drow. In a modern, transgay informed way, but also I will admit I think it's a fun sexy little sandbox and I'm in there chewing on my plastic shovel. I've got some notes and some passages jotted down for both the repro horror fic and the vaguely meandering Imton memories, I'd love to got more properly into it some time to be honest.

The lecture on procreation and reproduction made him feel cold and small, blood-blood-blood beating in his ears as they showed him a picture of a woman atop a man, taking his penis inside of her. They told him how she took her pleasure from him, that that was his role―seed and service. It had dawned on him in horror that he was more than he thought. Not a child, not a knife, but one of these adults-in-the-making, like the illustrated woman with her broad hips and heavy breasts and strong, defined shoulders. Like the guardswomen. Like the Matron Mother. The narrow man in the illustration, the lithe consorts he had glimpsed only a handful of times in their draping finery and painted faces… it wasn’t him, it was for him.  He unfocused his eyes and watched without seeing everything else they showed him, tired of it all, letting the diagrams and words blur so he would simply not have to think about them any further.

I think moving up to the surface as he traveled to Baldur's Gate was in a lot of ways a step back into the familiar! Being read as male aboveground afforded him, if not to quite the same extent, the same level of basic respect and autonomy he had been used to as the heir presumptive of House Halvyriin. At the same time, trying to emulate the type of masculinity that he was used to seeing and appreciating from a distance--as decoration, as performance, as something effete and dainty--was going to evoke a very different response. In the same way that I think Faerun isn't past sexism, I don't think it's fully escaped homophobia either. So, yes, Ballard can be a man, can be greeted as a man and exist as one, but not as the kind he'd like to be, and he has to trade that precious/beautiful/treasured masculinity for some butch attempt at camaraderie, to stave off any kind of hostile attentions.

In the same way that he could more than take care of himself in the Underdark, as an unprotected male, responding to harassment with violence draws too much attention. He's already viewed as effeminate and weak and duplicitous, just for being an elf and a drow, specifically--he has to make some decisions about how else to display himself to make the journey to the Gate as smooth as possible. I think it becomes second nature so quickly that it takes year for him to remember it wasn't always his intention.

[starheirxero]

HOLY SHIT- HOLY. SHIT. I CAN'T BELIEVE, EVIL EARTH IS BACK-

I HONESTLY DIDN'T THINK, WE'D HEAR FROM THE OTHER DIMENSIONS AGAIN-

THIS ENTIRE EPISODE WAS SO FASCINATING!!!

Earth's entire character revolves around making people happy! She is the caretaker, the therapist, the golden child.

She is kind to a fault, always wanting everyone to be happy, and putting the people around her above her.

She was created and taught to do so. It's her purpose.

THIS IS SUCH A CLEVER SPIN TO HER CHARACTER-

Taking the character trait that defines her the most, and twisting it into something sinister?? Holy shit, I love that!!!

This truly makes her feel in-character, while still giving her a chilling edge!

Instead of simply trying to make people happy, she's actively forcing them to! Even brainwashing them with camps!

And if they can't be happy? If they won't be? Then they are tainting her perfect utopia, and need to die.

This Earth seems to idolize the Creator a lot more, or he, at the very least, generally seems to have rubbed off on her, considering her apathy towards her sinister actions!

I cannot describe to you, how much I love this!!

I'm also really interested in her dynamic with her brothers, and the general world-building!

For one, she actively mentions, that their hatred for her comes from a place of prejudice, because she's a robot. The Creator's robot, to make it worse.

I love, how they consistently throw in humans' distaste for animatronics, and the latter's lack of rights!

Though in this case, that's definitely not it-

She also generally seems to take more of an older sister role? The way she talks to her Lunar sounds like an indeared older sibling, using a higher tone and generally seeming amused by their antics! Also her mentions of them being "silly" again, much like an older sibling indulging in her little sibling's games. This also plays into her patiently explaining everything.

I can't quite say for her dynamic with Moon, though it has shifted somehow!

There's little to go off, when analyzing the brothers, though they too seem generally more apathetic, and honestly tired. Especially Moon.

It's also interesting to note, that this Lunar apparently has a lot of memory issues, the humans actively meddling with their systems to put them against their sister! So much so, that Earth seems very much used to it!

This world fascinates me so much, and I hope, we'll see them again!

With her comeback, I also have hopes to see the other AUs again!

Listen- I need Lunara to make an appearance- I need them to be an antagonistic maniac- I need to know more about their resets, and how long it's been going on- I need them in my life-

I really hope to see a glimpse of Lord Lunar and Servant Eclipse again, and see if their dynamic has shifted since Gregory came by-

I want God Eclipse to be a smug bastard-

I also want go give a shout out to Ruin for being absolutely UNHINGED when it comes to building- Buddy legit built a high tech spaceship in underneath a year, and got a hold on several whiterstorm pieces-

And it feels CRIMINAL not to at least mention Earth's dream episode- Which I haven't done, cause brain fog-

It made me incredibly emotional too!! It's just-

The atmosphere was so incredibly somber…

Earth KNEW, he wasn't real, yet still found comfort in his memory-

OUCH-

-Stardust

YEHWYSYAYAYYAYAYA I KNOW RIGHT!!!!! GENUINELY I'M SO HAPPY THEY BROUGHT HER BACK AND SHOWED OFF MORE OF HER CHARACTER AND HER WORLD IT MADE ME SO HAPPYYYY!!!! I always thought it was a lil weak sauce that, last time, they just went "she's a dictator, evil enough!" so having them revisit her to elaborate and make her properly villainous is EVERYTHING TO MEEEE

AND YEA YEA YEA I LOVEEEE HOW THEY TWISTED HER MOTIVE!!! Exactly like u said abt her having more the Creator's influence, I adore that it's still distinctly her goal, it's just that she's not as emphatic about what she has to do to achieve that goal! And YEA the fact people were particularly displeased about her being the Creator's creation fascinates me.

In my heart I'm imagining someone in her universe made a very online callout post about her and her ties to the creator HSKAHSKS "ouf, unfollowing her now. i was a fan of her 'keep everyone happy' goal but i didn't know she was made by That guy 😬" LMAO

BUT ALSO WITH HER SIBLINGS YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!! She's definitely more authoritative with them, especially with Moon just outright calling her "boss"?!?!!! Whatever is happening there has me SO INTRIGUED. It definitely make me wonder what the lead-up to all this looked like...

I was sort of talking about smth similar with a friend earlier, like. if any of them ever pushed back at any point, only to be put in their place, or if they've just always been too scared to work against her.....

SPECIFICALLY LUNAR HAS ME SO FASCINATED THO YEAH. I cannot explain why for the lofe of me but the fact they're usually a target of the rebel's attacks and have constant memory issues as a result just scratches smth in my brain I rlly like it HAKAHXK

AND YEAAAHHHHHH OH MY STARS IF ANY OTHER AUS ARE REVISITED I THINK I'D GENUINELY ASCEND. MY SOUL WOULD LEAVE MY BODY. EXTRA DETAILS AND INTERACTIONS... TSAMS... TLAES... IF YOU HEAR ME PLEASE HAJAHAJAHS

ANS RUIN YEAHSJQHSKHS IDK HOW ELSE TO DESCRIBE IT BUT LIKE. LITERAL SOLAF BEHAVIOR. THEY BOTH APPARENTLY LOVE TO WORK THEMSELVES SILLY 😭 AND EARTH'S EP I KNOWWW I KNWOEHHRGRHEGRHRGRG

Genuinely that whole ep was DEVASTATING. The whole "you don't know what he'd say, do you?" coming out of his own mouth had me MESSED UPPP 😭😭😭 1 MILLION EMOTIONS ATTACK FOREVER

[rorimoon9597]

If he was known for anything, it would be his emotional maturity. Because when Pidge and Keith both floundered with refugees of all ages, Lance, Allura, Shiro, Coran and Hunk would be going around and offering comfort and a break, however small, from their troubles. It was something that came naturally to him from having such a big family.

So when Keith disappeared for two weeks without any trace after the Kral Zera, he freaked out. It was annoying for his friends, and only Coran was able to listen to his panicked rambling every single time.

Then Keith came back, and he didn't spare the details of his travelling, just that he ended up befriending a wolf that could teleport. They fought Lotor, and found out that Shiro was actually a clone and oh gods, his head hurt from all of that.

So now they were on a planet that Coran suggested they stopped on to recharge as much as possible and to relax. They were going to be heading back to Earth soon, which was exciting. Lance hadn't seen his family in so long. He wanted to introduce them to his boyfriend. He wanted to tell Adam that he finally got a boyfriend. Adam would be so proud!

But they needed to sort something out. Namely, why the hell didn't Keith call?

So Lance stood and stretched. eyes darted to him, including Shiro's eyes that had that fatherly look in them.

"Well, I'm tired. I'm going to go to bed now. Night," he said with a little wave. He walked to Red, who bent down to let him in. He could hear the others behind him, murmuring their goodnights except for Keith.

Lance went about his nightly routine, waiting for Keith to join him. It took a few minutes, in which he washed his face and changed into his pajamas, for the man to show up.

Keith was wearing his own pajamas, the wolf behind him. He walked up to Lance and wrapped his arms around him. The both of them relaxed, melting into each other. The wolf went to explore Red's interior, sniffing at things before moving on.

"I missed you," Keith whispered. His voice was deeper, and it sent shivers down Lance's spine.

"I missed you too... Why didn't you call?" He asked. He was prepared for a fight involving Keith being unable to talk at all.

"The quantum abyss didn't have reception," Keith said. Lance frowned.

"Quantum abyss?" He asked. He turned around to see Keith properly. "What is that?"

"It's where we found the planet that Lotor moved the Alteans to. If you're not careful, you can get pulled apart, atom by atom. It nearly happened to me once. Mom saved me from that." Lance gaped at Keith like a fish.

"You- what?"

"I know it sounds bad, but we were able to get to safety. There were these things that had their own ecosystem. They produced enough oxygen for humans to breathe, so Mom and I stayed on one of those while we were traveling," Keith explained. He rubbed circles into Lance's hips.

"What else happened?" Lance asked.

"There was a time dilation. So... Mom and I spent two years there." That truly made Lance's jaw drop. He looked at his boyfriend again, taking in how Keith's jaw was more defined, how his hair was longer and how he was taller now. He was taller than Lance, which meant that Keith was close to Hunk's height. That man was near six foot.

"Holy shit, you're- you aged two years while you were there?" He said.

"Yeah." Keith was watching him.

"You've changed," Lance observed, his voice soft. Keith's eyes grew... sad, almost.

"I have," he agreed. Lance smiled.

"I like these changes, you know," he said nonchalantly as he ran his hands up and down Keith's arms, feeling the newly developed muscles. They weren't like Shiro's, but they were definitely more prominent than before Keith left for the- what was it, quantum abyss?

"You do?" Keith asked. Lance swallowed. Keith's voice was going to be the death of him.

"I do," he replied. He rested his hands on Keith's chest, letting himself feel the faint thumping of Keith's heart. "You're taller than me, now, for one."

"So you like my height?"

"I like you, so I like everything about you," Lance replied, feeling satisfaction as Keith's skin colored just a bit. "Your voice is deeper as well, you know. It's hot." His arms moved to rest on Keith's shoulders, hand connecting behind black hair. Keith smirked and leaned in close.

"You like my voice, darling?" He asked. The Texas accent that Keith only spoke in when he wanted to came through, sounding better with the deeper voice.

"Shut up," Lance said. He pulled Keith into a kiss that he'd been waiting for since he first saw Keith on that screen. Keith hummed into it.

It was- it was the best kiss, for some reason. Perhaps it was because they hadn't seen each other in two weeks - at least, for Lance it was two weeks. For Keith it was two years.

"Why did you brush me off earlier? At the castle?" Lance asked when he pulled away. Keith's eyes were sad. Like, genuinely sad.

"I'm sorry, Lance. I had a mission, and I had complete the mission or else I probably would have decided to ignore it completely in favor of holding you. I... I knew that I'd do that, and I couldn't, because Allura needed to know and we needed to get revenge for all of those Alteans and stop Lotor," Keith said. Lance nodded, unable to say anything. He pressed another kiss to Keith's lips.

"I understand, cariño. It just threw me off a bit there, y'know?"

"Are you actually okay, Lance?" He paused at the question. Normally, it would take longer for Keith to ask that. Lance studied his boyfriend, ignoring the fact that they were both studying each other.

"I'm better now that you're here," he replied honestly. Keith studied him a bit longer, but eventually smiled.

"I'm glad. The past..."

"Two weeks," Lance supplied helpfully.

"It's only been two weeks for you guys?" Keith asked, surprised.

"Yes. Now, you were saying?" Keith smiled and shook his head.

"The past couple of weeks must have been hard for you, yeah?"

"The two years you spent with only your mom and your cosmic, teleporting wolf must have been hard for you. Hey, that's a good idea!"

"What is?"

"Kosmo!"

"Kos... mo..?" Lance pointed at the wolf, who tilted its head.

"Kosmo!" He said again. Keith blinked at Lance, then at the wolf. Then he turned to face Lance again.

"I guess. We'll have to see if he likes it, though." Lance turned to face the wolf.

"How's that sound, huh? Kosmo?" The wolf wagged its tail, then teleported over to them for pets.

"Alright... I guess his name is Kosmo now," Keith agreed. Lance grinned.

"Yep. And... I've been separated from you for far too long. So... what do you say cariño?" Lance asked, a grin on his face. Keith grinned back at him.

"Sure," he said. Red grumbled in the back of Lance's mind then retreated, leaving the two to their own devices. Kosmo, reading the air of the room, also disappeared.

________

"Do you want to know what I like the best about this newer version of you?" Lance asked. He traced patterns onto Keith's skin.

"What's your favourite thing?" Keith asked. Lance rested his head in the crook of Keith's neck, shivering slightly at the touch of his hand on his back.

"How you've grown emotionally," Lance replied. Keith hummed in response, encouraging Lance to keep going. "I like how you're able to talk about things much better now. The only reason why it took you so long to talk to me this time is because of the fighting, and Shiro too. But you didn't run from talking about things this time, and you apologized without me prompting."

"Mom helped me with that. We bonded a lot during our two years on that creature," Keith replied. Lance listened. He'd always liked the sound of Keith's voice, but he loved it now. The way it rumbled was comforting to Lance.

"I'm glad that you found her," Lance said.

"I'm glad that I found her, too," Keith agreed. "It was weird at first, y'know? How do you talk to a parent that's been absent for most of your life? But I learned about her story, how she met my dad and fell in love with him, how they found Blue and kept her as safe as possible. How Dad had to help Mom give birth which he had experience in. Did you know that he helped deliver babies when the mothers couldn't get to the hospital?"

"He did?"

"Yeah, so he knew what he was doing. Man, that would've been weird to explain. But Mom and I grew closer. We saw visions while we were there, in the quantum abyss."

"What did you see?"

"Us," Keith replied and oh, that was so sweet.

"Tell me," Lance said. And Keith indulged him, telling him of the things he saw. Shiro and Adam getting married and adopting two Altean children. Hunk and Shay getting together, them with a Galra child.

He told him of Matt's future wife and kids, how chaotic they were and how Pidge appeared to be a good aunt. He told Lance about Silvio becoming a cadet at the Garrison.

Then Keith told Lance about the two of them; the girl who looked like them combined that bought crystals that looked like fire and water, about her twin brother who looked like Keith more than Lance but cracked similar jokes to him. About the flying fox creature, about their wedding, how they would rebuild Keith's childhood home for the four of them and visitors.

And Lance listened, letting himself be lulled to sleep by Keith's voice.

When Keith noticed, he smiled. He pressed a kiss to Lance's hair.

"Goodnight, Lance. I love you, so, so much," he whispered.