#i was an angsty teen that was very confused about their gender

[toastbite]

wild how time moves on

[spiral-writing-stuff]

hi hi! i saw ur requests were open? (sorry if theyre closed)

Can i request a Akutagawa x gender neutral teen reader? (Platonic ofcou) basically reader looks up to Akutagawa and sees him as a older brother figure and akutagawa sees them as a younger sibling :3 can it be angst also? like where one of them is badly hurt and the other is crying and all that jazz

pls and thank you <3

authors note: Don’t worry! If my bio says requests are open then they are! I just take a while to write because there’s a lot of stuff going on in my life, so I’m really sorry this took so long! Im thinking of splitting this into 2-3 parts because I’m still thinking of how to write the rest of the story, I have the plot already in my head but I just need to put it into words. This request is sooo cute big brother akutagawa is just such a great concept:,) Also so sorry if the angst isn’t good lol I’m not very good at writing creative sad stuff! (Please give me feedback!😭) also sorry if it’s too angsty i think I went a little overboard again. I might edit this story later.

Sorry this took so long!

I also couldn’t decide if reader is older or younger than Gin so you guys decide.

I Hope it’s what you wanted!!<3

On a Silver Night

Content/Warnings: angst, gore, blood/injury, abuse/child abuse, death, Dazai being a bastard, lmk if I missed anything

For as long as you can remember, Ryūnosuke was always protecting you and gin, as if you two are the thing he lives for. which you both are at this point He has always tried his hardest to defend you, gin, and the other children from thieves and abusive adults, he didn’t do it to be righteous, nor did he do it to feel better about himself, he just did. At least, that’s what you thought, it was hard deciphering his intent because everything he did, he did with the same, emotionless stare. People would always mention this fact. Even when he was killing, stealing, or when you found some food or someone told a joke, he always had the same blank expression. You thought it was funny sometimes though he never once showed any emotion, that didn’t matter to you, his actions spoke clearer than any words could.

Like when he would sometimes hug you and gin to keep you warm during cold nights, when he found food he would share it with the two of you first. And if anyone dared to threaten or try to hurt any of you they would be dead in an instant by Rashōmon’s sharp fangs. Yes, his facial expressions didn’t matter, he was trying his hardest to keep you and Gin from experiencing the harsh cruelty of the word, but he was still just a boy himself. There wasn’t much a malnourished and frail child could do, yet he persisted, despite how many times he’d fallen. You looked up to him and had a deep respect for him because of this.

Even though it was a horrible situation all of you were living in, you were happy just to be with your older brother, sister and the other children. Among all the other children, You, Gin and Ryūnosuke were the ones you were closest to.

Until that fateful day, when a group of criminals murdered all the other children in cold blood, leaving You and Gin injured, and Ryūnosuke thirsty for blood.

~ ~ ~

Gin had helped Akutagawa escape but you three got separated amidst the chaos and confusion, you held Gin’s hand tightly as you two ran and ran until you two were exhausted, collapsing onto the damp, cold ground. The air was foggy and cold, the night dark while the moon illuminated your surroundings with a silver light. After a few minutes of struggling to catch your breath you got up from the dirty ground and remembered only Gin was with you, Ryūnosuke had ran off in search of the criminals who killed your friends. Fear and panic shot through your body, terrified that Ryū was going to get himself killed.

“G-gin! W-we have to find Ryū!” You said to Gin in a rushed shaky voice. She swiftly nodded.

You two began running, this time slower due to how tired you both were. You were heading in the direction of where the shipment was said to be taking place.

“Gin! I think we’re almost there—“ you stopped when you saw a tall man walking in your direction with a shorter person. The shorter person had a black coat draped over his shoulders, the man seemed to be waking directly to you now, a smile on his face.

“Be careful Gin.. s-stand behind me..��� you got in front of Gin just in case, until you realized the shorter person was Ryūnosuke, his eyes were slightly puffy and tearful, he had been crying. your heart dropping at the sight. Immediately you throw yourself at Ryū pulling him away from the mysterious man

“Just who are you and what are you doing with my big brother?!” You frantically yell at the man, hiding Ryū and Gin behind you

The man glares at you with boredom in his face, as if this was all nothing to him, but then he started to smirk slightly “Brother? Oh, I knew Akutagawa had a sister but I didn’t know he had another sibling. What’s your name?” He said with a mischievous face, He reached out his hand to seemingly pat your head but you smacked it away immediately, surprising him a bit “you didn’t answer my question-“ you felt a hand on your shoulder and turned around “Y/n…cough it’s okay..you don’t have to worry..” Ryū weakly said to you. Your heart ached at the sight of his bloodied and bruised face, looking down you can see he has bloody scratches on his knees, arms and legs, his entire body was hurt.

“Hm? Oh, right! Sorry about that! Where are my manners?” He said rather loudly “My name is Dazai Osamu, I just got promoted to a Mafia Executive today, Which means, I now have the authority to do certain things. like taking anyone as my subordinate, and your brother here has accepted my offer.” Dazai said soft-spoken yet somehow overbearing with a kind smile that didn’t reach his eyes. You were confused by the man’s statement, many thoughts ran through your mind;

“Would Ryūnosuke really agree to join the mafia? Especially join through this guy? How would we be guaranteed safety? What if this is just a trap to exploit Ryū’s ability? What if he kills us?”

You were pulled out of your thoughts by a dangerous, slightly condescending soft voice “you don’t have to worry, if i wanted you dead, I would have done so the second I laid eyes on you.” He said to you, it’s as if he read your mind. He was staring into your eyes as you stared back, his eyes void of any emotion, much like your brother’s, except you found a deep cruelness to them, it terrified you.

“Well, it was just gonna be Akutagawa here and his sister, but I can make arrangements, just for you.” His eyes went back to a neutral state “I promise,” he puts his hand on his chest “that the three of you will be fed, clothed, housed and compensated accordingly, as long as you work under me, no one else in the mafia will dare harm you.” Dazai reached his hand out to you, a sweet smile on his face

“so Y/n, do we have a deal?”

~ ~ ~

To be continued.

Notes: it is 5am as I write this, can you believe I’ve been writing and tweaking this since April 7th??!? And this isn’t even that long. What ADHD does to a mf

Honestly I’m not sure if I should continue this, obviously if more people wanna read it than yeah since I have the story already in my head, just need the motivation. So comment and tell me that you want more!!!

Anyways hope y’all enjoyed. Stay hydrated!

[socdarlings]

i want to know more about your boiling hot takes about transfem dallas i am enamored 😇😇

alright here we go. this is gonna be a long one. tw for transphobia/dysphoria. these are just my own headcanons, some abt his family, etc. i’ll be using she/her and he/him interchangeably

transfem dally hcs

okay so first off he goes by he/she/they, though he would melt inside if ppl started using she/her for him. i’d imagine it’d be from the gang

pretty much had a feeling she was trans since they were a kid, he stole his sister’s dolls and tried to put on his mother’s dresses when she wasn’t around. had to stop cuz he got caught by his older brother, who’s an ultra masculine douchebag

i feel like this’ll happen no matter what au he’s in (canon, modern au, 80’s or 90’s au, etc) considering he didn’t exactly have the best background

so he never got to explore their gender and was practically forced to shove it down and not tell anyone. ofc this led to him being very secretive and defensive abt his masculinity, where he dials it up extremely when he’s a teen. which is one of the reasons why he’s so angsty in the novel

also being masculine and putting up the tough guy act protected her from the rest of the world, and most importantly: being validated by men. even if she wants to distance herself away from masculinity, internally there will still be that conflict of wanting to be appealing to men

again no matter what au he’s in, i feel like there’d be transphobia everywhere. unfortunately

started growing out his hair and styled it like how those old 80’s supermodel’s used to do it, with the blow dryers and hairsprays. my fav portrayal of dallas is him having really poofy blonde hair (think @/felworthless’ art)

her hair is her pride. absolutely refuses to cut it

is actually quite proud of a little bit of her features, like her ears and her long eyelashes. likes being compared to an elf since elves are always seen as feminine. once somebody drunkenly said she looked like a fairy and her happiness levels? shot through the roof

i feel like she’d start wearing dresses and makeup as a joke on halloween and then continue to wear them in private

actually really likes hair clips. hair clips, berets, hairbands, etc. (if this is a 90’s au, she really likes those butterfly clips)

they would come out to the gang and i’d imagine they’d be confused but accepting

and he’d try coming out to tim who would go like

“we’ve been knew”

would steal sylvia’s perfume and makeup. she also likes smelling sweet, hence the extremely strong strawberry scent i hc she smells like

he wishes he was smaller tho. they feel like it’d be easier to pass if they were johnny or pony’s height

in the future i can see her as an adult either working odd jobs or in radio. i feel like she has that unhinged radio personality, like howard stern’s show in the 90’s

wouldn’t be out out considering the. absolutely difficult circumstances of being trans in the south but within the gang? yeah they’d be really happy. one of the actual few times they’d see them smile w/o it being menacing

likes pink things. pink or red things. also really likes stuffed animals

anything that’s “girly” or “feminine” he really likes

once he came out two-bits been calling him any blonde model he could think of (which was easy since there was a lot of platinum blonde models in the 50’s)

and she’s not opposed to it. not at all

even tried dressing up as marilyn monroe for halloween

in fact i think marilyn monroe and jayne mansfield gave her gender envy big time. maybe was the first time she really wanted to be them

overall. transfem dally my love

[madrigaljail]

Reblog with Pope of Encanto!!!!! I've said before once on twitter that confused some that I don't consider everything Jared says as canon so don't know why people take his word as 💯 truth. Why is he the one you trust in Encanto things? 😭. I don't since at times things don't line up to canon and we seen he changed answers before. Obvious on the spot answers. Said to guess a lot. He's also not the only writer. There are fans who don't know there is an extra director and another writer who just keep their mouth shut compared to him and staff members are there in terms of story world development. He doesn't control the world!

It's like 😭 I don't know. People take all his answers like the holy grail. I've seen amazing fan HC and fan content. Things that went against some Q&A answer. Why are people sitting in a corner waiting for Jared to return to confirm things to them while sharing the same screenshots?

Yeah, I generally pick and choose which of Jared's answers for things because I feel like he does sometimes just...say things in these Q&As, and I feel like a lot of people do that too. For instance I'm a staunch believer that the Encanto is completely isolated with very limited - if any! - contact with the outside world, and Jared has confirmed this, but some of my favorite fics include trade/contact with the outside. I've also personally poked holes in this concept when I asked him about where the fireworks seen in the movie came from, which he replied with basically "don't think about it too hard!"

There are some things he'd said which I reject wholesale, like "the refugees brought everything they needed with them" to found the town (I'm a "magic cows"/the miracle provided a lot of stuff truther) and I just fundamentally don't like "Casita only has one bathroom". All of that said there are some headcanons which, being validated, can be very helpful or comforting to fans and I do not want to discount those. Answers about whether or not a character might be neurodivergent, or about sexuality and gender identity which are unlikely to be answered directly in canon, even partial replies can be a good thing.

Basically: I do see both sides! I'm not hanging my fandom life and enjoyment on whether or not Bruno was an angsty troublemaker teen or Camilo's favorite food is fish stew, but some things being validated can be very powerful.

[icharchivist]

andddd I’m back! finished the whole thing. it was very good for sure. felt much quicker mostly bc I was not like. dealing with the culmination of probably over a year of hedging all my bets on hisoka’s identity. since I finished the whole thing I’ll be like. loosely chronological but also jump around as I please lol. considering im six paragraphs deep into a fic i definitely did have some feelings abt this.

anyways. very glad I paused where I did bc the moment I heard some random stranger picking on someone and going pretty boy my reaction went like this:

me: hm… pretty boy? that’s not yuki, is it? he would kill them already.. oh it’s azami!!! Oh my god it’s azami!! ah well then these guys are also dead. isn’t he a yakuza child.

and then azami beat them up :) love that kumon immediately thinks he is the coolest… it’s the juza-fan instinct. also love how when sakyo heard abt a middle schooler beating ppl up he’s immediately like ah fuck it’s the yakuza brat isn’t it. I will take this space to put in all of my azami thoughts before I resume. I was so surprised he showed up this early! then again I was a bit confused bc summer and autumn did their road shows together, and I was like… huh, didn’t spring start with these road shows too… how is autumn gonna begin? but nope surprise!! azami gets integrated here instead. very cool and I thought he and kumon becoming friends was done really naturally? like man who wouldn’t like it if someone was all starry eyed about you lol. especially since azami doesn’t seem. used to that level of appreciation. I, like azami, also thought that he and kumon were the same age lol. I did know azami did makeup but it was still so funny for him to shyly visit summer’s opening night backstage and then immediately be like oh u all look horrendous. let me fix this with the insane amt of makeup stuff I carry around. lovely. so very yuki-esque. also. wow, azami, how come you get to have *two* dads you’re beefing with! (sakyo and the boss) I think I am very sakyo-like tho bc when azami makes his phone calls I’m sitting there like ah… that kids not getting mixed up in a bad crowd, is he? he’s literal yakuza. kiri why are you like this. great voice acting on those calls also, it totally conveys the vibe of like angsty teen who chills out and is very casual around friends. I’m super interested as to who that person on the other end is, seeing as azami says he might reach that guys goal first after talking abt joining mankai… another actor / aspiring actor? haruto? misumis younger bro? who knows. only time will tell ig. was a bit sad abt the fact that azami and kumon didn’t have a cg—I think it would’ve been nice to have one when kumon collapsed into him, or a cg of juza and kumon where he’s picking him up… but there seems to only be 3 cgs per story for act 2. what a shame. well ig that’s what fanart is for lol—gotta brush up (pun intended) on my drawing skills! anyways I’m not super happy with azami’s dad lol. let him do makeup you clod. I always joke that I like characters who others are kind of homophobic to but it’s so true. it’s just actually a sign that they’ve got some Gender™ going on which I like. i hope he gets to play soccer with tasuku i think they'd have a great time actually.

moving back towards chronological events… kumon’s fancy gold keychain! love how muku immediately launches into an explanation abt it lol. “in exchange for making its wielded the strongest of all humans, it sucks their life force. it’s a cursed sword that can kill its owner if used too much!” I immediately read into this the moment muku explained it lol. like muku does not say it out loud and kumon is embarrassed about being a nerd but the moment this showed up i was like "oh. this is absolutely how kumon sees himself. all that pitching skill but theres a curse that prevents him from using it." and like. its never stated out loud during this episode but its absolutely true to me. the scene rly made me think like ah. kumons both naturally funny and adorable? like the noises he makes when hes freaked out there r great. i think hes a guy that is naturally a Bit Much and that translated really well to natsugumi stages. i wanna tackle kumon's condition here since it was brought up... again i knew that he was dealing with some kind of recurring health problems before, but not the specifics! and so learning that he was essentially getting fevers caused by stress was very. too real tbh like i dont want to think abt getting panic attacks during my free time. but. no i thought it was really well handled. like how at first yamaguchi is like. hey. its not like u meant to get sick, right? but then as time goes on you can see how people begin to be like. oh he's doing this on purpose to fuck us over. or theyre like. is ur illness even real. maybe you're just faking because you're an asshole. this is weakling behavior. and you can see how deeply that affects kumon in the way that he talks to and judges himself. in the way that he's got this drive that feels downright desperate--like EVERYTHING is do or die for him, and that is, of course, only going to stress him out more. i really liked that even at the end, past the play's end, he was still running a fever--it was clear that the play had rly been taxing on him and he wasnt like, just magically cured! i thought azami's whole magic brush thing was so cute--like, it was so obvious how better it made kumon feel. to me it felt like the equivalent of like, taking the time to put on really nice clothing and cook something special after a major depressive episode--like, you give yourself a nice treat and it helps you believe in getting better. in the same way, i think azami's makeup worked sort of like a charm on him--it gave him the ability to look like death hadn't warmed over and that like. helped him relax because now the guy in front of the mirror looks like he has the exact amount of energy that he wants to have. but yeah. i thought it was handled really well and i loved how natsugumi were supportive of him. the way kumon wakes up and finds out his fever went down and then when hes going to announce it to misumi he finds everyone sleeping by him... so sweet. again natsugumi was just sooo dearly supportive of kumon and refused to let him back out, it was great. when they all hug him and comfort him on stage... that cg is sooo cute. oh the moment juza approached tsuzuru i immediately knew he was gonna give him kumons backstory lol. like tsuzuru knows people well but not That well. i thought it was nice how the way inoue is was exactly like how real life yamaguchi felt--that he wanted to support him as a battery. tsuzuru precog moment strikes again. also every time he's on that balcony writing i think abt mizuno.

well this is probably a good segue to talk abt the play so i shall do just that. this one is literally a direct parallel to real life events so theres not something like... super interesting i can give as commentary there, lol? but when i first watched the play i was like. tsuzuru... where's the "comedy" in sports comedy? watching the play in the actual chapters tho i definitely saw it--it relied a lot on the quirks of the individual players! and that scene at the end is quite fun ofc. was confused as to why it was like. love. but even the og play has hatsukoi in it. ig its abt them liking their manager? idk it felt a little confused lol. but it was a very nice play in some ways... i am like, a pretty huge sports manga fan ahah, so i definitely saw stuff that was similar. i think i've... read 4 different sports manga abt baseball? daiya no ace, oofuri, cross game, and the one no one will recognize, hybrid berry. kumon would lose it if he ever read oofuri, i think... the main pitcher is an anxious mess who selfishly refuses to give up the mound and he and the catcher have a really interesting relationship. the girl manager that is sad they cant play baseball is absolutely a thing in sports manga. yuki was so great as washiyama. like her pretending to be a guy and subbing in for the catcher worked great since yuki can like. convincingly play both a guy and a girl. also the way washiyama essentially blackmailed people into joining. iconic. the associated song was also cute! i thought it was interesting that tsuzuru wrote yuki's role in specific along with tenma and kumon--i guess it makes sense since that role requires someone to play a female role, but the quirks of the other baseball players--uehara as a shut in with surprising athleticism, ohno as a player scared of the ball, and enomoto as a guy always on his phone--mesh really well with the people who play them, dont they? like, i dont think kazunari or muku could pull off the same sense of athelticism. it was nice, anyways. plus if u reach u can parallel washiyama subbing in for inoue and it hurting her hands with yuki + natsugumi trying to leader substitute in tenma's absence.

worst transition ever? perhaps. but now i get to talk about that bit BECAUSE OH MY GOD, THAT BIT. like icha i'm dearly glad i was not given spoilers but on the other hand i feel like i needed a fucking warning. the PHONE CALL. the PHONE CALL!!!! im going to take a step back and comment on the whole situation actually since i didnt even address tenma's first audition. that whole bit was so good. the way tenma's like heh. i'll handle everything. and like as you pointed out, at that point kumon was gonna join akigumi if he passed the audition! but tenma was like. no hes Mine. i definitely figured the audition was gonna go bad--like, if tenma himself was like "i feel like im not there yet" about his own acting? but the way it was executed was so lovely--i wanted to be like "ah, tenma's come really far, hasn't he?" but i think tenma has always been serious about this part of acting--didn't he join summer troupe in order to challenge himself because he felt like he was deficient? so i actually had to reexamine like. why did i assume tenma would be hugely emotional about missing the role. probably because izumi worried about it? also bc i kept recognizing when they were saying "chance" and since kumon just had a stressful audition chance i was worried tenma was gonna feel a similar pressure and cave. but nah. as strange as it might seem, this was kind of perfectly in character for him, i think... he didn't get the role, and he saw someone absolutely outperform him during auditions, and respected that. if there's one thing tenma's learned from summer troupe it's to acknowledge other people and recognize their strengths. so this was a nice extension of that. so all he does is chill in the theater at midnight and relfect a little on his own performance. it was mature of him. i felt like i could see him blooming. as much as i like to make fun of tenma he's been an actor for quite some time--i bet mankai is one of the places he really gets to act like a kid, yknow? i thought it was nice how suprised everyone in natsugumi was--even if they make fun of him, he sure is their leader who has some pretty great acting skills, huh... anyways. to then see him get an offer, turn it down to focus on the play (bc he loves natsugumi!) and then see yuki get fully outraged at him for doing so! that got me! the "when push comes to shove, you really ARE just a hack, huh?!" escalating into him yelling "we all want to support you, tenma!" like. how many times had yuki said tenma's name ever. also like. the way he indirectly says that he doesn't even mean it when he calls tenma a hack. anyways im glad they resolved it. not used to seeing yuki be so obviously distraught. the gifts were so good too. misumi giving tenma a triangle so he doesn’t. so he. “so you don’t get lonely like you usually do!” im going to wail. and then tenma going “I don’t get lonely” okay liar. but then when tenmas like oh jeez yuki another shopping list? and then receives a baseball keychain… if i was him i wouldve cried immediately. like wow. they rly adore each other and will never admit it ever.

and then seeing tenma in france! Almost getting lost! And carrying around the keychain… and saying “…take care of the troupe while I’m gone, yuki.” oh my god. like i genuinely lost it at this moment. tenma and yuki r roommates and they. They care abt each other. like there’s no explicit communication that tenma is putting his trust in yuki specifically but like. Of course its him. Hes the one that yelled at tenma to go in the first place. Id hedge my bets that natsugumi was planning on talking to tenma anyways (bc they rush in so quick when yuki and tenma start fighting) which if we take that to be true, yuki literally started picking a fight with tenma bc there was literally nothing else he could see himself doing at that moment. And the way that as they’re rotating leader by leader yuki is the one that’s like. Kind of nagging at them—pointing out that kazunari could be more decisive, and telling muku that he should probably give suggestions on fixing things rather than like just saying. “We have problems!” like. It is so deeply obvious to me how aware yuki is of tenma’s presence and how aware he is of him. Not being here. But then when tenma calls him! And yuki’s like. Teasing him being like is this a prank call? But he’s still in the practice room at 10pm, just chilling by himself because he’s thinking about what he can do. to quote from my notes during this scene: “it is genuinely so cute they call—AHHHHH A CG!!!!! A CG!!!!!!!” yeah i lost my fucking mind are u kidding me. of course i did. but yeah tenma checks in on the troupe through yuki and once yuki confirms that tenma’s doing okay, he’s like. we’re fine. focus on your work. and then he says international calls are expensive and hangs right the fuck up. like. if yuki wasn’t feeling guilty abt not having seen any improvements on the play u know he and tenma would chat for longer and yuki would antagonize him into paying his phone bill or something. but yeah the just like. the dynamic here is so good. and once he runs into kumon and figures out what he’s gonna do its so good! I felt like. idk. yuki rly pulled through for this one and it was nice to see tenma come back, pleased as punch, and tell natsugumi they did well. It was rly a breath of relief like ah. the leader approves! and it felt like such a success, that yuki and natsugumi were able to handle it. Idk why the phone call got me so bad. I mean i do know its like. two of my favorite characters but. it was just a kind of very understated moment and like this whole sequence is… what? four chapters? it’s not a long part in the whole episode but it just absolutely got me. its just such like a quiet, kinda subtle moment with a lot of depth. Seeing them call each other from different parts of the world. the way they’re thinking about each other and caring for each other. the way you can see them instinctually trust each other after being at each other's throats at first and bickering all the time even now. Yeah.

speaking of shorter parts i loved kazunari’s little side thing! with him realizing that he sorta wants to do a bunch of stuff. i thought the ultra multi creator / UMVC thing was so funny. but it was real lovely to hear just a very normal parent that obviously adored kazunari exactly as he was. this was also how i first learned kazunari was a traditional japanese painting major. I genuinely had no idea. i do think its funny that his lil sis in a huge tenma fan. i think ive mentioned this before but there is a like noticeable increase in quality of the a3 posters as time goes on which i think is really cool. but wow tenma telling kazunari he has like only shallow friendships is truly so. I love that it stuck with kazunari this long but also tenma would be distraught that he remembered.

okay now time for all of the miscellaneous stuff i forgot to talk abt!

azamis voice is refreshingly lower than I thought it might be? but it fits him. I know he and sakyo r gonna be so fun… sakyo wondering what happened bc azami used to adoringly follow him around was so absolutely real. like oh ur his dad already i see. I also think kumon’s relationship with muku and juza r so interesting… muku knows some stuff, but not everying about kumon. and though kumon so obviously adores his big brother and juza has helped him before, the actual talking they do seems like not much. which felt kinda realistic.azamis voice is refreshingly lower than I thought it might be? but it fits him and i like it. i’m so excited abt his dynamic with sakyo seeing as he used to be rly attached… sakyo and his bos should square off for custody i think it’d be funny. i think its rly funny that yuki refused to play baseball bc he was acting as the manager. the manager plays baseball in one of the scenes its like the whole point. loved the kumon pitching cg. oh tenma was so good during that street act they did tho like. the way his va played that… u can hear him loudly announcing the show and stuff and then his voice immediately drops to this soft whisper to ask if kumons ok. so good. again i rly liked azami and kumon’s relationship… the fact that azami was just gonna fight yamaguchi unprompted was so good? but the way kumon is specifically like. dont injure his arms he needs them for baseball rly shows like. just how much kumon treasures the sport i think. very interested in who would azami not want to see at his worst… could be a throwaway convo lol. but i liked that azami walked him home and stuff. muku pestering yamaguchi into taking his ticket was so. wow. he’s rly gotten brave, hasn’t he? i thought juza and muku were so interesting in how they supported kumon during this bc like. they were both obviously supportive but like didnt solve everything? Which was cool bc they were still good siblings to kumon but kumon’s issues still felt like. understandable and stuff. like juza being harsh in the beginning re: kumon joining made total sense even tho like. clearly it ended up being good for him. gosh when juza and muku tell tenma and izumi everything it is so good to see tenma be like. well. its alright u kept stuff from me. kumon is fully part of natsugumi so we’ll take care of him. i just like seeing him be capable and he was so capable lol. also banri offering to be an understudy instead of juza! very sweet. love that he can only offer by antaognizing juza abt his acting skills. also love banri saying yuki will thrash juza if he acts bad specifically… bc banri and yuki r. friends… i also like that this in specific seems to give juza pause. my “juza is frightened by this middle schooler” hc seems legit. oh and i laughed when juza was like. well we gotta be baseball accurate so i’ll bring the clippers. what is up with hyodos and banris hair for real. hm. i also like how u can see the bookcase in kumon and misumis room has noticeably changed—feels like not just misumi lives there, now.

oh and the cute girls skit. best thing ever. every time they did it, i laughed. so i absolutely get why it cheered kumon up. again summer troupe is clearly so good at this. they should do a play. This had more romcom energy then the baseball play they actually performed. like kumon blushing. into mukumi announcing u look like a dog I used to have!! unmatched. and ofc theres juko. cmon… take one step closer for juza in a dress…

I also loved everyone telling kumon abt the troubles they had. like tenma had to be like. I look very capable now but i actually tanked our first play lmao. also i had trauma abt stage performance. also idk if it was intentional but i love how the dialogue when theyre discussing sardine search is like.

kumon: the cat costumes?

tenma: anyways, the third play—

i think the last thing to discuss is the adlibs probably? the moment he was like concerned abt it i out loud went “fuck the fans” so that shows my position lol. but that for sure is summer troupe’s charm. I liked that in the end kumon’s adlib was just like? it was good. nicely in character. good response to. hang on washimiyas bf is MARRIED? but its not like he totally introduced a wild new direction or anything—the guy who started this was clearly tenma’s adlib as inoue. so i rly liked that it was like. competent but not amazing bc like… i think that would kind of reinforce kumon’s idea that he needs to “measure up” and be perfect. but here he’s just like. good at being part of natsugumi. and that’s all they need! i also know kumon originally wanted to join akigumi and i assume that’s bc he loves juza but i also wonder if some of it is bc akigumi is so clearly and obviously Strong. well. anyways for kumon i think being part of a troupe that makes him laugh is the best, in the end. i did think it was funny when the game went “acting isn’t like baseball. there are no winners and losers,” says a member of the troupe that had a literal competition against another troupe where winning was the most important thing ever.

and that’s all, i think! very good story im sure theres things i missed but. very good.

omg that was quick indeed. bUT HELP as to why you think it went faster. And omg. can't wait to see the fic as well!!

let's GOOO

and HELP. the deadly pretty boy middle schooler squad. gotta love how quickly Kumon found him cool indeed. I also love how quickly and organically they started to get along! Azami really does have a lot of Yuki in his behavior doesn't he. i still love how the make up things ended up being mentioned like "oh i'm NOT letting you leave this backstage without some help. you need it." type. eheh loving the way you look at Azami's set up so far! And you're so right this CG could have been so nice… nerfed by the amount of official CG per chapter :/ looking forward the fanarts coming out of it ;D Azami truly does have some Gender going on and yeah. The dad sure is not being good there. AND! hell yeah for the soccer squad this is what they deserve. Give Tasuku some peace also to know that while his troupe is bad at sports he can make his own team somehow still.

NICE CATCH ON THE KEYCHAIN!!! it really does fit Kumon way too much :sob: Kumon is indeed so likeable like, the actor really does such a nice job at conveying just how open and exhuberant he is, but also just how soft he can be. really funny and adorable like you say, perfect for Summer.

as for Kumon's condition, welcome to the specifics! I also really connected with Kumon on this because oof, chronic illness like that is no joke and especially when it's stuff triggered by stress it's just… it feels never ending bc then you stress about being stressed and it gets worse in worse. And even though it's obviously not his fault, the way other people started to perceive his sickness influenced how he saw himself and it really became even more worse and he became so scared to fail people which just meant more stress, so, more guilt… man his story was so effective it made me feel really emo.

Azami helping him out with the brush was so cute :sob: a little placebo in a sense. I do love how Kumon still was stressed but he managed to push through still. a bit like Tenma was still hella stressed in his first plays but managed to push through enough to now be comfortable about it. Natsugumi meanwhile taking care of him and being so supportive is so sweet :sob: Summer are all genuinely so good, and when you take into account all the problems they had to deal with one another… Tenma's stagefright, Yuki's indecissiveness for the future, Kazunari's anxiety about not being what others people would want out of him, Muku's own insecurities and his own history with "failing" his sportsmates because of health, with also Misumi's big brother's instinct kicking in… everyone had made some little work on their side on their own anxieties that i think they could see a bit of their journey in Kumon and went yeah, we'll take care of him, and it was such a good support for them. and DLKFJDLKF Tsuzuru's powers, all knowing, and when he doesn't know, people will come to him to update his character files. but also mood for the balcony.

DLKFDLKF yeah i feel like, Summer's plots could be seen as "not comedy", but in the end it's all about the banter and the way Summer will improvise stuff with their high energy, they probably have more room to improvise and all. BUT YEAH the love thing always was surprising to me, i guess yeah they're in love with their manager but it doesn't feel like it should be the focus?? or perhaps it's about the love of the game?? Or Tsuzuru should come out already and tell us the romance between Tenma and Kumon's characters was explicitly that this time come O- and omg, really ready for the sports story mood i see. I hope Kumon got to read this manga. perhaps he even recommanded it to Tsuzuru? Yuki's character was so fun and it felt so Yuki, it was so great. But yess the roles were pretty nice.

it's a perfect transition no worries AND HELL YEAH. No warning we get murdered by phonecalls like people who cry over a3. I'm so glad you weren't spoiled considering it was Made Just For You, it was so nice to see it shook you enough to post about it also :'D Everything you say about Tenma's audition is so spots on and so good :sob: he's so good… It's in moment like that that yeah you remember just that he is a professional who can accept things going in one way or another pretty maturely, and no doubt summer did make him even better at that. like yeah he learnt to be more silly and more of a kid with Summer, but it also helps him adding new outlook on his perspective. it's pretty nice. AND GOD YEAH. THAT. YEAH. THE WHOLE SCENE WITH YUKI WAS SO NICE. Tenma loves Natsugumi and Natsugumi loves him back so much the gifts scene was also so damn sweet like. god i love those kids so much.

AND YEAH… YEAH. MAN. Tenma and Yuki did come a very long way but they trust each other so deeply at this point it's just so heartwarming to see. No CG of Kumon and Azami bUT a CG of Tenma and Yuki calling each other! We still come out of here winning!! and yeah i totally understand what you mean about the whole scene and the whole dynamic of this specific arc. I think that approaching their dynamic with physical distance showed just how close they have grown emotionally speaking and it was just. so damn nice to see. It was such a nice arc.

Kazunari's little side thing! yeah it's really nice to see Kazunari just.. want more? I think it also shows he's growing more confident in himself that he just wants to try everything now. His little sis being fan of Tenma is really soft, no wonder Kazunari kept taking pictures of Tenma when they met. And yeah!!! honestly it's like, of course quality gets better as the app grows and everything on a doylist perspective because yeah, the devs get better, they get better fundings, you even see it at times from how prettier the art composition of some of the cards become. But in universe, since the posters are Kazunari's doing, it really also bring home that it's Kazunari!! who's growing as well. It's so nice. but god yeah. i love how things really do have an impact in a3? like conversations from years ago still matter so deeply for the characters. It's so nice.

ooh nice that you like Azami's voice :3c promising set up with his relationship with Sakyo and yeah. Sakyo was already a dad, bless him. The Hyodo/Sakisaka dynamic is indeed pretty interesting, like… yeah they're cousins but that doesn't mean they were that close until they started acting, but now they're all together in this. and yeah makes sense that Juza still was a bit distant in the sense of, he's socially awkward and keeping to himself a lot even regarding his little brother. Yuki refusing to play the baseball game while he gets to play later in the play is indeed pretty funny. Kumon's CG is pretty nice toooo, it shows how serious he is for baseball and still how much of his conflict comes from how serious he is about what he loves. (kinda contrast also how Chikage's solo CG was him with his coin, something that shows the way he deceives people but ultimately that he can't keep fooling Sakuya with and ends up being the cataclyst in staying with Spring bc of the coin toss. Like the solo CG tell us a lot about them and their arc in general). Tenmaaaaa<333 Eguchi Takuya always delivers in term of voice acting, and i love how he looks out for Kumon :sob: AND SO true about the Azami and Kumon's relationship and the way Azami was ready to square up for Kumon. It was so nice to see, they have a nice dynamic. Muku has indeed got very brave!! and even braver when he does thing for other people in general (a continuation both of him standing up for Yuki in the first chapter, and how he went to confront the Ikaruga family for Misumi as well) but yesss their dunamic together was so so nice, they knew some stuff but of course they couldn't solve everything… i think it's like, esp with stress, when family tells you you do well it's just yeah sure, that's what family says. i feel like, with setting up Kumon being so attached to Juza, it was important that his arc ends up being about him looking for something /for himself/ instead, and finding good things outside of him. But yeah Juza was just worried :sob: he just comes off as much roughter in general. aND YEAH…. Tenma immediately enforcing that Kumon is his responsability is soft. AND YEAH THE BANRI SCENE. WAS REALLY CUTE. Hell if Banri actually shows he cares, he needs to be mean to Juza to make it work. think about his reputation smh. BANRI AND YUKI FRIENDSHIP MY BELOVED. And yeah Juza still values Yuki's opinion enough to be frightened. More than by Banri at least lmao. AND DLKFJDKLFJD rip Banri's hair. and yeah sobbs it's so nice.

omg yeah the cute girl skit was really so sweet and funny. It's a recurring thing too like, remember when Muku was stressed out during their first improv with Yuki and Yuki went on with the cute girl thing? Tenma roasted them at that moment bc "all they did is change their pitch a bit", and now they perfected it so well that it's Purely Cheer Up Material… sobs. JUZA IN A DRESS WHEN PLEASE. WHO DO WE HAVE TO BEG.

DLKJFDLKF YEAH it's so nice that they really like, work to make Kumon part of the team? like he gets to know the stuff he missed as well, he's up to date with them all. BUT YEAH the transition for Sardine search is really funny.

BUT YEAAH AAH the adlibs stuff were so nice. I still find that ending so funny, i love how everyone managed to roll with it… and very good observation for why Kumon wanted to join Akigumi. He probably felt like it could help him measure up to the expectations he had put on himself, managing to be cooler and surpassing himself physically considering those were the things he felt he lacked. But in the end he needed just to find his own path and coming to term with what he actually needed. AND LDKJFKDLJFKLFD Kumon: it has no winner or loser! Tsumugi still half reeling from what happened during his first play: :). yeah :) totally :) completely :).

but sobss i'm so glad you liked it!! Summer knew to come after your feelies both reminding you of the growth of your favorite characters and introducing a new cutie to the team. It's honestly so nice, and it was SO nice to read through your thoughts! as always, thank you so so much for sharing!!!

as a reminder, next is the event A Springtime Snooze ! Then you'll be able to read the Autumn Chapter!

Take care! :3c

[awkwardtortilla]

Hcs for when cami gets sad??? Xoxo

Awe hell yea

Sad!Camilo hcs

This was a lot less angsty than I had in mind but I still love it and loved writing it

warnings: sickeningly sweet; kinda heartbreaking; gender identity crisis; Camilo being a sad puppy; not proofread

It’s really obvious when Camilo’s upset

He mopes

It’s so goddam pitiful you can’t help but want to hold him

I mean you were gonna do it anyways but his sad puppy eyes and droopy head just make it more compelling

He’ll keep up an act for the crowds and the kids, smiling and playing

But as soon as he waves goodbye the grin fades and his shoulders slump and he crosses his arms across his chest

Yes Ik it’s very angsty teen

But it’s also very Camilo

He’s not gonna try to hide his feelings if he doesn’t feel like he needs to bc it seems stupid

Why would someone bottle up their feelings?

Why hide them?

That just creates more problems

And not the fun kind

So when you approach him and ask if everything’s alright he doesn’t try for a smile and nod his head

Camilo looks right at you and shakes his head with the saddest look it makes your heart ache

So you offer him your hand and lead him somewhere secluded

You sit down on a bench or the ground and either A) gently pull him onto your lap or B) let him sit next to you

It depends on the temperature and your moods

It doesn’t matter which position tho he’s still gonna curl up there and flop his head onto your shoulder which prolly hurts you both a lil but you don’t really mind as he nuzzles into you and breathes deep

You wrap your arm(s) around him, rest your chin on the top of his head, and trace the tips of your fingers up and down his arm(s)

Or you might do that to his back

Or you might rub his back

Or a combination of the above

But anyways

As Camilo heaves a sigh you quietly ask if he wants to talk about it

Welp I was gonna say that toward the beginning of your relationship he wouldn’t but I honestly don’t think it would matter

If he doesn’t need to get it out or if he doesn’t have the energy to talk about it then he shakes his head

So you’ll just chill there with him, comforting him wordlessly, pressing tender, loving kisses anywhere and everywhere

Neck, forehead, temple, hair, hands, arms, shoulders, everywhere

If he’s on your lap with his chest to yours you’ll slowly comb your hands thru his hair and twirl the ends around your fingers

Ayyyy mierda [shit]

Camilo loves every bit of it

He’s so goddam grateful for you and your endless affection

He loves that you aren’t pressing him for answers and instead just provide this silent but strong wall of comfort that he can lean on

Then again

Camilo will definitely talk to you

He trusts and loves you with all that he is and will have no issues with opening up

I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times in all the other hcs and imagines and fanfics but a main cause of Camilo’s upset-ness is that ppl in town are always asking for him to be other ppl

No one asks for just Camilo

So he’s often left feeling unwanted and used

So you’re there to remind him that you and the other Madrigals love Camilo for Camilo

He’s more than his gift

Then another huge source of mopey behavior is an identity crisis

With his gift it’s easy for all the appearances and genders and changing to go to his head

Camilo is also, without a doubt, a he/they

I don’t know a single he/they or she/they (including myself) that has not had multiple gender identity crisis’

And even after they come out and have it “figured out” there are still lots of times when they question it

So when Camilo has his he’s very confused and feeling vulnerable and probably second guessing everything every time someone calls him “he” or “they”

There’s honestly not much you can do for this

No solid advice you can give

No definite or clear solution

But you can offer support

You can promise that you’ll be there no matter what

It doesn’t matter if Camilo is a guy, gal or nonbinary pal

You’ll always love him/them for him/them

And Camilo is infinitely grateful for it

You have no idea

Camilo’s heart swells- no- bursts with love and gratitude and adoration

He holds you a little closer

Squeezes you a little tighter

Falls whole stories deeper in love with you (if that was even possible)

[fictionalpeoplecompleteme]

I’m a bisexual girl and I’m in love with Julie so I was wondering if maybe u could write one where the reader thought she was straight but slowly realizes she’s bi and in love with Julie, reader comes out to parents and when they don’t accept she runs to Julie and they kiss and it’s kinda angsty but then BAM fluff

Title: Valid

Request: Yes / No

Word Count: 3234 (!!)

Warnings: homophobia !!, probs not well written angst omg

(A/N): not me saying im back and not being back i hate myself. yall, there’s no schedule i just post whenever im like, active and thats a really bad habbit that i should NOT keep doing istg. also au where the band never died, but theyre never mentioned. anyways ty ty TY to the sweetie who asked for this ! i literally squealed when i read this request. not this being 3k words umm help

You had your moments. Those weird moments where you didn’t know what you were feeling, especially to the person you were feeling those emotions to. Like this one time where it was a normal day watching Disney Channel and eating pizza (basically living the dream) and then a new movie popped up. “Teen Beach Movie” was the film, and let me tell you, when you saw Butchy AND Lela wearing leather, let’s just say you were confused why felt his way for both of them... it wasn’t right.

No, of course it was right ! You had these feelings for both genders, and your feelings were valid, so why wasn’t it right? Well, it was a simple answer. 

Your parents.

Of course, they didn’t down right say they hated the lgbtg+ community. Although they might as well have downright said that they did, because with the things they say,

“Why do they get a whole MONTH of pride?”

“Ugh, the gays are making it EVERYTHING about them.”

“Do they have to do that in public? Couldn’t they have waited until they got home?”

“Why would they put that in tv?! The kids are gonna watch that and think that they’re gay!”

Obviously you heard their views, and when you started to realize you somewhat fit in their hate demographic, you “decided” that you weren’t going to. And that’s how it has been for a long time.

RIIINNGG

Ugh, another school day.

“Kill me now.”

You got up your very comfortable bed, and did your daily routine. After you were finished with that and dinner, you were dropped off at the infamous Los Feliz High School. You were then greeted by your best friend, Octavia.

“Hey bestiee.” you joked.

“Hey rat.” Octavia said with the same energy. 

“So, did you finally finish atla last night?” you asked.

“Of course! To have a chance to see my husbands is a chance I’ll always take. Even started watching tlok! Mako does looks scrumptious not gonna lie.” she said, doing that weird tucking her hair behind her ear and having a look of thirst on her face. Its the fact that she basically always does that for me.

“Not you finishing atla AND starting tlok the very same night. I don’t think that’s normal.” you said shaking your head. 

“Lets just say that if I get diagnosed with insomnia, don’t be surprised.”

“I don’t think anyone would be.” you said while the both of you are putting your supplies in our locker.

“ANYWAYS, I’m sorry for you getting moved to Mr. G’s class. I know he can be very mean.” Octavia said sympathetically.

And it’s all true. Mr. G is basically known for being modern day Snape, favorites and all (especially to the popular kids). Considering you were fresh meat to his class, you were not looking forward to the inevitable insults. 

“Ugh, don’t remind me. I can NOT stand the fact that I wasn’t even in his class in the first place, thinking I was safe, and then I got moved!” you yelled.

“I know, I know.” she said while putting her hands on your shoulder. “(y/n), if he even BREATHES in your direction, just tell me and I swear the next time I see him its on sight.” Octavia said with a very stern look on her face. “Honestly I can’t believe that the principle wouldn’t fire him, he has enough complaints for at least a suspension.”

“O, what would I do without you? And besides, don’t blame her. She genuinely tried to fire him. But I heard that he lawyered up to the point where he was basically untouchable.” you said.

“We lost.” “We truly did.”

Right after that conversation, the bell rang. 

“Good luck (y/n)! I love you !!” said Octavia while going to her 1st period class. 

“I love you too!” you yelled back.

Oh lord. Please please make this class bearable.

You walked to the door, and took a deep breath. As you went inside, not one second went by as you already got a taste of his scrutiny.

“Well well, if it isn’t the newbie! (y/n) (y/l/n). Just pick an empty seat as that’ll be the only way you’ll get someone to sit next to you.” he chuckled

You wanted to die right then and there. 

And it got worse as the whole class seemed to find that insult funny, considering that they all laughed. 

“O m gosh, Mr G. That was your best one yet!” said Carrie. Of course she had something to say. Not one situation where she kept her mouth shut and yelled her commentary to everyone in the room.

You shuffled your way to the back of the class, to find an empty seat next to this girl. She looked familiar, but not to the point where you knew her name. Though you wished you had. She looked quite.. pretty. With her amazing hair, and her beautiful eyes. Not to mention her face in general..

NO !

No. Of course you had these thoughts of her, she’s just naturally pretty, anyone would’ve thought that. You then put your backpack behind the seat and proceeded to sit down next to her. A few moments passed of you sitting next to the girl, until she said,

“Sorry about that. Mr G. can be very mean sometimes to everyone, -not that that’s okay!” she stuttered. “It’s just, don’t take it personally.”

“Er- thanks.”

“I’m Julie by the way! What’s your name?”

“I’m (y/n).”

“Nice you (y/n)! With each other, I promise you, we can get through his class.”

You smile at her. And Julie smiled back. of course she had to be nice too!

“Well Ms. (y/n), Ms. Molina, talking in my class? I’m not even mad, just surprised! Ms. (y/n) actually found someone to talk to!” said Mr. G.

Aaand of course, he has something to say again.

“I’m surprised she has anything to say at all, considering the amount of times you had already talked down to her. Just simply leave her alone.” said Julie with assert. 

You were shocked to say the least. And it showed to, having a look of disbelief all over your face.

“Um, wel- uh, Ms. Molina, keep that mouth closed, if you don’t want to spend your lunch in detention.” said Mr G. 

You were honestly very glad that she stood up for you in that moment. A little too glad, because in that time, the feelings started to flood in.

Of course, why wouldn’t it! She was just simply nice to you and you had already developed whole feelings for her! But was it exactly bad? Sure, your parents deemed that it already was, but that didn’t mean that you had to. This is who you were, a human being with valid feelings, and there was nothing wrong with that. So with this whole situation, you said with a big smile,

“Thank you.” 

Hey, you never said you were good at speaking with other people. But I don’t think it mattered to Julie, because she had returned your smile, and in that moment you realized you can find yourself deeper in love.

The two of you really had bonded during class time. Sure, you can say that you both flirted but you were never really good at figuring that out, even when you were flirting with boys (it had always been Octavia’s job to figure that out.) But considering the things she said to you.

“I love your hair!”

“You have very nice hands.”

“Your eyes are a beautiful shade of (y/e/c).”

After class, you both knew that you liked, liked each other. But that's where the hard part came in, actually confessing. To be totally honest, you could barely manage confessing to a boy, imagine with Julie? Although you were happy to know that Julie had already thought about this, because when you both walked out the door, she took your hand and guided you to the music room, where the both of you were alone.

Both of you were facing each other. You could tell she was nervous, cause she was playing with her hands, and didn’t seem to try to make eye contact with you.

“(y/n), I know we just met this class,” she said, both chuckling, “but would you like to get coffee with me sometime?”

Oh boy, she actually asked you out! Don’t get you wrong, you were happy! In spite the fact that you had your parents to worry about. So with that, knowing all that was at risk, you still said with full confidence,

“I would love to.”

Julie gave you the biggest smile you had yet to see. She moved a strand of hair out of your face and then proceeded to hold your hands.

“It’s a date! How about at 4 after school?” she said.

“The perfect time.”

After exchanging numbers, you both felt ecstatic, the both of you just left the room with the biggest grin. You couldn’t believe that you had gotten a date with Julie! Now I know that you’re gonna say that you should’ve told Julie about your situation with your parents, but she looked so happy that you couldn’t possibly have ruined the moment with that.

After that amazing moment, you had managed to spot Octavia in the hallway. You walked up to her like you normally would, though this time you had a scared expression. You had never come out before. Though you thought the possibility of keeping this from your parents, this wasn’t something you could keep from her. So walking up to her, you just blurted out the truth, without a second thought.

“Hey! How was Mr-.”

“I’m bi!”

She seemed stunned after a second, but only a second as she bursted out laughing out of nowhere.

“Um-”

“Oh my gosh, the way that was the way you came out to me! It’s the disorganization for me.” said Octavia, while wiping her tears away.

“Wait-, you don’t care?” you asked confused.

“Do you want me to be bothered or something?” she asked in a more sarcastic tone.

“Well no- it's just- I don’t know, I was just scared I guess.”

“Listen,” she said sternly while again putting her hands on your shoulders as a way to comfort you. “I will love you no matter who you love. Understand?”

“And I you. The problem is my parents. I know what they think of people like me, and it’s not good. How am I going to survive this ughh.”

“They’re your parents, I’m sure it’ll be a shock to them, but if they truly love you, they’ll accept you.”

“Thank you Octavia, what will do without you?”

“Hey, that’s what I’m here for.”

After you finally finished your classes, you nervously went to the front of the school to wait for your mom to pick you up. You felt so nauseous, to the point where you were sure that you were going to throw up right there. After waiting for 5 minutes, your mom pulled up. You got in the car and you felt so nervous that you were just silent the whole car ride. Your mom for sure took notice.

“Hey sweetie, you’re alright?” said your mom.

“Yeah, I just don’t feel so well.”

“Oh, are you alright? Did you eat something bad maybe?”

“Yeah, probably something during lunch.”

And after that the conversation fully stopped as your mom noticed you were not in the mood to talk.

You finally got home and you felt even worse than before. You dreaded this moment, and just felt like passing out. As you got inside, you quickly went inside your room, not bothering to say hi to your dad. You put your stuff on the ground and just started to really think about this.

They’re my parents! Like Octavia said, they should still accept me, I’m their child. And if they don’t? They have to, right?

Right?

You finally built up the courage to go outside your room and go to the kitchen, where both of you parents were.

“Mom, dad? I need to tell you something.” you said, basically shaking.

“Sure, what is it sweetie?” said your dad.

And without a second thought, you just blurt it out?

“I’m bi!”

It was dead silent. And that scared you. 

The part that truly scared you? Hearing the words that you had been dreading to hear.

“You’re pranking me, right?” you dad chuckled, as if it was a joke.

That’s when you started to get a little irritated. You knew how your parents were, so this reaction was inevitable. So considering all the preparation, you still got mad. 

“Why would this be a prank?!” you said with an “attitude” (that’s what your parents would say at least, although you were just simply defending yourself).

“Honey, as much I love you, this isn’t natural.” said your mother with a normal tone, which you could argue was just as scary as an angry tone.

“If you actually loved me, you would accept me as I am!” you said, starting to actually get aggrieved.

“Don’t yell at your mother like that!” said your father, who actually stood up from his chair.

“I wouldn’t need to be yelling, if you would actually accept me for who I am, not all this!”

“LISTEN, I’m sure this is just a phase. You either change your ways or you are no longer considered my daughter! No daughter of mine would feel such a disgusting thing!” your father yelled.

That’s when you lost it, you knew that no matter what you did, they would never change their way. That’s why you just let it out, because they would never change their way, so why not just let it all out?

“You know what?! I’m going to leave! I rather be homeless than to live in a house with you two! My two parents who don’t even accept me, WHO DON’T MAKE ME FEEL LOVED OR VALIDATED!” you yelled.

At that point you were shaking and crying. With the anger that you were feeling inside you didn’t even think to get any clothes or basic necessities, you just grabbed your phone and just ran out with your parents yelling your name. But you didn’t care, you were not going back there, that’s for sure.

After that horrible fight, you went to a park that was near your house. You went inside a private bathroom that was thankfully unoccupied, cause if it wasn’t, you were pretty sure that you would’ve broken down right then and there. Once you had gone in there, you surprisingly didn’t cry. You just held it in, and really thought about your situation. You realized that it was pretty stupid of you that you didn’t get your belongings and then left the house. Oh! And that you were pretty much homeless.

After a good thinking session, you did the most sensical thing you could do in that situation. 

You called Julie.

Now I know what you’re thinking! ‘Why Julie, why didn’t you call Octavia instead?’. Well it was pretty simple, you just desperately wanted to see Julie. You pressed on her contact, not really knowing what was coming with it. What if she thought you were weird? What if she laughed at you? What if she felt weirded out with you and then blocked your number? What if-

“Hello?”

“Julie?” You sounded pretty distraught, so it wasn’t surprising when she sounded concerned herself once she heard your voice.

“Hey, is everything alright?”

“Julie, this might sound really weird, but something really bad happened and you were the only person I could think to call! If you’re busy I’m sorry I won’t-”

“Hey! I’m sure everything’s going to be fine. Where are you?”

You took a deep breath, you were just thankful she didn’t block you right then and there. “I’m at the park in (street name).”

“Okay, just stay right there and I’ll come and get you.”

When the call ended, you walked out of the bathroom and sat on swings, waiting for Julie. After you waited, for what seemed an eternity, you saw her.

Julie.

She spotted you in the swings, and gave you the sweetest smile. She walked closer to you and stretched out her hands, which you took. After just staring at each other, she gave you the biggest hug, which (not gonna lie) you just really needed. Much to your disappointment, she let go of you, she swung an arm around you, and started walking to her house. The both of you didn’t say anything, but you guys didn’t need to, the peaceful silence was nice.

The both of you then arrived at her house. That’s when you started to panic, you weren’t looking forward to bother her family. 

“Are you sure we can go in the house?” you asked 

She gave you a chuckle, “I think we can go to my house.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to bother any-”

“Hey.” She proceeded to grab your hands and then moved to cup your face. “Everything’s going to be okay, my dad and brother aren’t home, and even if they were, you would absolutely be greeted with open arms.” she said,

You both went inside the house and then inside Julie’s room. She motioned to sit on her bed and you did. She sat next to you and then held your hand, intertwining with each other.

“It’s okay, you can talk to me.”

You took a deep breath, and just let all your feelings out. “It’s just my parents were never really supporting of the lgbtq community, so it was stupid of me to actually think they would have any other different reaction. And the fact that they would react like that? To say such cruel things? I just..- I don’t know, is it wrong for me to feel bad?”

“They’re your family, of course you would have this sensation of feeling bad. But I just want you to know that they’re in the wrong, not you. Any sane person would think that, everyone just wants to be accepted. Just know this,” she said while leaning closer, your hands still intertwined. “you are valid, so many people love you no matter who you love.” she said while moving a strand of hair out of your face.

You continued to smile, but looked into Julie’s eyes with so much adore. And the best part was, she was looking at you the exact same way.

Without a second thought, you decided to just go for it. You kissed her. The kiss was passionate, and sweet. Julie then gave soft kisses to you cheeks and knuckles, murmuring comforting words such as “it’s okay” “you’re alright” “i’m here”. 

After pulling away you both looked at each other, and then you offered your favorite pastime.

“Can we go to sleep? I just wanna sleep the stress away.”

Julie chuckled and then agreed. You both got into a position of Julie laying down while your head rested on her chess, and her holding you. While you were half asleep, you said those three words,

“I love you.” 

You were half asleep, so you didn’t understand the severity of the action, but before you fully drifted, you heard these words coming out of her mouth.

“I love you too.”

Taglist (link in bio!)

@noncannonships @mandiscadelinha @yoyokzzz @twist3dtinkerbell

[carriagelamp]

~ Queer Lit 30 Day Book Challenge ~

I decided to do this challenge I came across for June! Originally it was designed as a “day-by-day” thing, but my June was way too hectic to do a write up every single day… so I decided to make a nice compilation for the end of the month instead!

This is perhaps not the “purest” form of the challenge but I wanted it to be personal for me. Growing up when I did and where I did, I had very little exposure to queer books, especially age-appropriate queer books. That being said, there’s some books on this list that are really only “queer” by technically, or through a secondary character rather than the main character. I debated whether to include these but finally decided that, yes, I would. I owe it to myself. Even though some of these books that aren’t “as queer” as other, they were (or are) really important to me as a queer person and my journey is understanding that, so I wanted to acknowledge them!

More info about the books and the challenge under the cut!

Day One: First Queer Book You Remember Reading

Color by Taishi Zaou and Eiki Eiki

Remember how I mentioned a lack of available, age-appropriate queer books? I was one of those kids who was definitely exposed (probably too young) to queer manga/yaoi. It wasn’t necessarily what I wanted, especially as a wee ace teen, but it was the best I had at the time and it meant the world to me at the time, to see same-sex relationships even if looking back on them is very “YIKES”.

I’m sure I read others before this, but Color is one of the first that I really remember and which I a) actually owned and which b) wasn’t completely repellent in hindsight! I haven’t reread it in probably over a decade so I have no idea how it stands up, but at the time it read like a much more “realistic” account of two teenagers developing a crush and starting a relationship and as a questioning teenager it really helped me realize that this was a real, viable option.

Day Two: Queer Book That Reminds You Of Home

The Witch Boy by Molly Knox Ostertag

I hummed and hawed about this one for a long time because honestly I tend to read books that make me feel far from home. I decided to go with The Witch Boy though because it’s a story that challenges gender norms and stars a large family out in the woods, running wild and exploring magic, and honestly it gives me vibes that remind me of vacationing with my extended family. We’re also partially ginger and inclined to run wild in the woods. If we knew magic we’d have used it for sure.

This book is about 13 year old Aster, who lives in a family where the women all become witches and the men all become shifters. Aster, however, has no interest in shapeshifting and instead finds ways to study magic and learn the arts of witchcraft while constantly being pushed out by his female relatives… though everything might change when a new danger, that may or may not be connected to Aster studying magic, begins to appear.

Day Three: Queer Book That Has Been On Your TBR Too Long

Beneath The Citadel by Destiny Soria

That was an easy choice, this has been sitting on my bookshelf for months, staring at me accusingly every time I enter my room. I’m really excited to read it (Magical heist? Rebellion? With an asexual protagonist? Yes please) but for some reason I have not gotten around to it. Some day, baby, some day.

Day Four: Queer Book With A Name Or Number In The Title

George by Alex Gino

George is an absolutely charming middle grade novel about a child named George who the world perceives as male… but who knows she’s definitely a girl. The novel begins when her class decided to put on a play about the novel they had just read: Charlotte’s Web. George is desperate to play Charlotte, her favourite character, but isn’t even allowed to try out because it’s a “girl’s role”. George and her best friend struggle with how to handle this problem and manage George’s secret amid elementary school and home drama.

This book is really adorable – it was a nice, easy, cozy read for an adult, and would also make a great read aloud to elementary-age children if you want to introduce them to transgender characters.

Day Five: Queer Book Where The Protag Has A Fun Job

The Magic Misfits by Neil Patrick Harris

Not actually a queer protagnoist, but a queer side character who plays a major role in the series. Mister Vernon, one of Leila’s fathers, has arguable the coolest job: he’s a retired stage magician turn magic shop owner, which is complete with large rabbit, hidden room, and tons of fascinating gadgets to help a young practical magician learn their trade. He is hands down one of the neatest character in the series and is a major catalyst throughout the series.

The first book follows Carter, a runaway orphan who practices street magic to get by, as he runs away from his horrible uncle and winds up meeting a gang of magic-loving friends in a small town. Hiding from his uncle is only the beginning though, and the mysteries surrounding the town and Mister Vernon become thicker and thicker as the series goes on.

Day Six: Favourite Queer Graphic Novel

Check, Please! by Ngozi Ukazu

There’s lots of fantastic queer graphic novels out there, but I have to name Check, Please! as my favourite (and not just because I’m Canadian and am legally obligated to at least show interest in a hockey story). Check, Please! is the friggin cutest story about Eric “Bitty” Bittle, former figure skater and avid baker, who joins the Samwell University hockey team. The story is told in the form of Bitty’s vlog as he recounts the bizarre quirks of the Samwell hockey team, his struggle to overcome his fear of checking, and his growing crush on the team captain, Jack. Seriously guys, this is cavity-inducing sweetness and you can read it all online for free, here on tumblr @omgcheckplease or at its own website, checkpleasecomic.

Day Seven: Queer Book You Often Reread

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan

Another book I haven’t reread in years, but this was the first queer novel I ever read (and owned!) so I read it obsessively, first the copy from the high school library and then my own copy (which is, let us say, well-thumbed by this point). It was pure fluff, in an aggressively diverse, relentlessly accepting, rainbow-coloured high school and it was exactly what I wanted in high school, and it still makes me happy whenever I remember it. It’s a straight-up high school romance, pretty traditional to the genre, but it has the most delightful supporting cast you could ever ask for. Maybe I should reread it again this summer…

Day Eight: Queer Book With A Happy Ending

Of Fire and Stars by Audrey Coulthurst

This was a bit more of a “yeah it was fine” book for me, but honestly… queer people deserve some average, run-of-the-mill YA fantasies. As far as my normal reading preferences go, run-of-the-mill YA fantasies are my bread and butter. And this one has a cute sapphic romance to go with it. It’s about Denna, a princess with a dangerous secret: she has a magical Affinity for fire, despite being betrothed to the prince of a kingdom that aggressively prosecutes and fears magic-users. So now Denna is in a strange land, trying to hide her increasingly volatile magic, solve an assassination that rocked the kingdom, and deal with the growing connection between her and the prince’s wild sister, Mare. It has court intrigue, a murder mystery, horses, and lots of confused sapphic pining so it’s totally worth picking up if you want a light summer fantasy adventure.

Day Nine: Queer Book With (Over) 100 Pages

River of Teeth by Sarah Gailey

I decided to try to get as close to 100 pages as possible! River of Teeth is a 114-page novella that I haven’t quite finished (work and covid stress happened) but which I am fucking losing my mind for. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s peak alternative history, about queer hippopotamus-riding cowboys in Louisiana during the early 20th (late 19th?) century. Like… I don’t know how to emphasize how unbelievably cool this book is. Genderqueer demolition expert with a giant crush and a penance for making things blow up and attempting to poison guests when they’re bored?? Check. Gay gunslinging hippo-riding cowboy with an angsty backstory (and also a giant crush)? Check. Sexy, fat, badass lady con artist with an albino hippo that she spoils? Check. Like damn guys. I’m not done the book and I’ve already bought the sequel because I know the second I pick it back up I’m not gonna stop until I’ve ploughed through it all. This book is the epitome of “refuge in audacity” and “rule of cool”. Is it over the fucking top? Absolutely but that’s the point.

Day Ten: Favourite Queer Genre Novel

The Red Scrolls of Magic by Cassandra Clare

I’ll be honest, I’m a little shaky on what counts as a genre novel (isn’t… everything… a genre??) so I decided to interpret it as “slightly trashy YA supernatural fantasy” because that sure is a hella specific genre I’m weak for.

I really thought I was done with the Shadowhunter novels, I thought they were a goofy series I left behind in teenagerhood that I could look back on with amused indulgence. And then I found out that there was a novel specifically about Alec and Magnus and! Oh no! Ding dong I was wrong. I fell back in hard because listen… I love them. They were one of the first canonical same-sex relationships I ever read about in an actual novel, they meant a lot to me then and still mean a lot to me now. I have nothing to say to defend myself here except that this book wrecked me and I can’t wait for the sequel.

Day Eleven: Queer Book You Love In A Genre You Don’t Read

Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me by Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O’Connel

I am very rarely a slice-of-life / romance genre sort of person. I like my stories cut with a heavy dose of fantasy, scifi, action-adventure… something. So a graphic novel that’s not only a romance, but one about an unhealthy relationship and infidelity is like… super outside my usual range of reading material. But it was very much worth the read! The art was stunning, and the complicated emotions it tapped into really touched me. I’m very happy to have read it, and was so damn satisfied by the end.

Day Twelve: Queer Book With A Strong Sense Of Place

Belle Révolte by Linsey Miller

Linsey Miller is one author I very actively follow, I love her works and they always have very distinct, complicated worlds with unique societies and magic systems. Belle Révolte was her latest book and followed a prince-and-the-pauper type of story, in which wealthy Emilie des Marais is determined to learn noonday (magical) arts in order to become a physician, someone who can actually work to make her home a better place… but this is not something a proper lady would ever be allowed to do. So she flees her finishing school and meets poor, but magically gifted, Annette Boucher and offers her the chance to switch places. Annette goes back to school as “Emilie” and gets to hone her skills at the midnight arts while Emilie will use her name to sneak into medical school and fight her way up the ranks to physician. This is a challenging enough task, with rebellion roiling just beneath the surface and the country about to slip into a arrogant war that threatens the lives of hundreds…

Day Thirteen: Queer Book That Really Made You Think

Our Dreams At Dusk by Yuhki Kamatani

This is a four book manga series that is completely breath-taking. It’s touched by magical-realism and completely drowned in visually stunning metaphors and symbolism. Seriously, I’ve reread these books multiples times trying to digest how the wide variety of symbols overlap and contradict and compliment and challenge each other. I still haven’t really gotten a solid handle on it, it’s very fluid, so yeah… definitely makes me think.

The story starts with Tasuku Kaname who believes he may have just been outed as gay by a high school friend, and feels like he’s watching his entire world crumble around him. He is seriously considering taking his own life, when he runs into the mysterious woman “Someone-san” and winds up leading him to a drop-in center that’s run by a local non-profit, and is also a hub for a number of queer people in the community. The books follow Tasuku as he grows, learns, makes mistakes, and confronts his feelings, along with a number of other members at the drop-in center. It is completely beautiful, optimistic, but also quite stark and harsh at its look at homophobia and transphobia in modern Japanese society and how it can effect people in different ways. I just bought book four and can’t wait to read it and see how everything ends.

Day Fourteen: Queer Book That Made You Cry

The Marrow Thieves by Cherie Dimaline

Holy shit guys. Listen. Listen. If you don’t read any other book on this list, please consider reading The Marrow Thieves. It is hands down the best book I’ve read so far this year. Another book that doesn’t have a queer character as the protag, but as one of the main supporting characters and listen, his story fucking destroyed me as a person. That romance just… aaaaaaah. AAAAAAAAH.

Anyway. The Marrow Thieves is a Canadian dystopian novel. It takes place in a post-climate change world in which society has been ravaged – partially due to the wildly different and extreme weather patterns, but also through a strange disease that has spread through the population that has left people completely incapable of dreaming. Now unable to rest, process their lives, and dream of a future, people are being driven insane and only one group appears to be immune: North America’s First Nations people appear to be unaffected. And so they begin to be harvested, rounded up and collected in “school” in order for people to suck the marrow out of them to give to white people afflicted by this disease. The Marrow Thieves follows a First Nations boy named Frenchie as he flees the recruiters and tries his best to survive in this post-apocalyptic like wilderness, banding together with other First Nations people who are heading north, where they hope to find communities of their own people with whom they can shelter and start to rebuild their lives.

It’s a YA level novel, not very long, and such an insanely good read. I cannot emphasize enough PLEASE GO READ THIS BOOK. 

Day Fifteen: Queer Book That Made You LOL

Mostly Void, Partially Stars by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor

Welcome to Nightvale always makes me laugh and it was a lot of fun to get to read the transcripts of the episodes. I’m a sucker for novelizations/transcripts of shows. It was a nice nostalgia trip and gave me an excuse to go back and relisten to some of my favourite episodes too! If you’ve never gotten into Nightvale… hey, it’s a classic! Podcast is fucking stunning if you’re into podcasts, and if you’re not but would enjoy a weird, queer, eldritch horror comedy then try the book! It’s the first “season” compiled in text form, exactly how it’s heard in the show.

Day Sixteen: Queer Book That Is Really Personal To You

Jughead volume 1 by Chip Zdarsky et al

Including this one because gee golly it sure did make me want to fight a lot of people for quite a while. It was one of the first stories I ever found/read that had an explicitly asexual main character… (and a character I already really loved! Which I now got to feel an even stronger connection to! It was so fun and validating!) so it was super awesome how like half of tumblr decided for a year there that this was apparently a cardinal sin. Imagine… one single version of old, long standing comic series deciding to retcon a character to represent a heavily under-represented community… imagine being so fucking angry about that that you decide to start a hate campaign on the internet. So much fun to live through that as an ace person. Anyway, these comics were nothing amazing but I sure do love them aggressively out of pure spite, even now that the aphobia on tumblr has died back down I will hold this to my chest and adore it.

Day Seventeen: Favourite Queer Book Sequel or Spin Off

The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee

Honestly do I even need to say anything here? Is there any queer person who hasn’t read Mackenzi Lee’s The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue series? If you are someone who hasn’t read it yet… go do that?? Absolutely stunning, one of my all-time favourite book series. It’s the perfect combination of hilarious and goofy, intense action, heartfelt character development, and a dash of “wait was that supernatural or??” This sequel was fantastic, this time focusing on Felicity, Monty’s sister, and her quest to become a physician despite being a woman in the 18th century. Awesome look at femininity, feminism, asexuality, and race. (Also… OT3? OT3.)

Day Eighteen: Favourite Queer Book By A Favourite Author

Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett

One of those “ehh is this technically queer? Not really but close enough, it is in my heart” books. It was one of the books I read as a teenager when I was still beginning to seek out and try to explore queer lit in so much as I could.

Terry Pratchett is, hands down, my favourite author, and though he doesn’t tend to write explicitly queer literature, his exploration of gender through allegory is top fucking tier. Everything to do with the dwarves in his series is fascinating, and a really great challenge/critique/exploration of gender, and this is the book that takes it to the next level (and brings in at least implicitly queer characters). It’s about Polly Perks, who lives in a small, war torn nation, choosing to join the army in order to find out what happened to her brother. However, as tradition dictates, she can’t join as a girl… so she disguises herself as Ozzer, a young man. There’s a lot of twists and turns, and as always Pratchett delivers fantastic humour and just absolutely delicious satire.

Day Nineteen: Queer Book That Changed Your Life

And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson

This was the book that made me realize that I, as a queer teacher, could have queer kid lit in my future classroom. Maybe a comparatively small revelation, but a really important one to me. It made me realize that this didn’t need to be something I kept a secret in my professional life and which could really positively influence children, especially queer children. It was the first queer children’s book I ever bought.

Day Twenty: Favourite Queer Book Series

Candy Color Paradox by Isaku Natsume

Alright… I’ll admit it, this isn’t actually my favourite series, but I’ve used my favourites in other spots. And this is a good one! Definitely more of an actual “yaoi” than the other manga I’ve included (here there be sex) but it has a very different vibe that what I’m used to from that type of manga. The main pair are actually both capable, mature adults, with careers they actively care about, and who get together in the first volume! 

The rest of the series is less about them angst-ily toeing around their relationship, and much more about them learning to grow as a couple and balance their work and relationship and society. It’s funny and sweet, and I really enjoy these two losers. It’s a very low-stakes enemy-to-friends-to-lovers story, in which Onoe (a reporter) and Kaburagi (a photographer) are paired up on a news story they’re supposed to dig into together. What starts as a bickering rivalry gradually becomes respect, friendship, and love~ Onoe is a gremlin of a protag, so he’s a treat to follow.

Day Twenty-One: Queer Book That You Recommend A Lot

Mask of Shadows by Linsey Miller

To repeat myself: Linsey Miller is awesome! This is my favourite book of hers, the first of a duology. It’s kind of like an intense, edgy Tamora Pierce novel with murder. In this world, the Queen has a team of assassins known as the Left Hand. They’re an elite group that keeps the Queen safe and does the dirty work that needs to be done to protect the kingdom and keep the encroaching nations at bay. When the assassin Opal is killed, a contest is announced to find the new Opal. People from all over come to complete for the honour of being one of the Queen’s royal assassins, including gender-fluid thief Sallot Leon. Sal has some deep motivations to become Opal that go beyond a loyalty to their kingdom, but they’re going to have to survive their competitors if they even wants a chance at it… (Sal generally goes by either she or he in the books, but I’m using they in this instance since it’s in a more general sense.)

Day Twenty-Two: Queer Book That Made You Take Action

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

Uhh, I don’t really have any books that made me take action per se, but this one sure gave me a lot to think about. It’s about deep sea mermaids who originated from the pregnant slave women tossed into the ocean to drown during passage to North America. From those dying women, this race was born and were taken in by whales, raised and protected until they could descend into the deep ocean waters, to form their own safe society. Their collective past is so painful though that as a species they’ve developed a very short term memory. But a people can’t live without any ties to their roots and so one of them, the Historian, holds all the memories for their entire species and shares it with everyone once a year so that the community can be connected to their ancestors before once again returning the memories to the Historian for safe keeping. Yetu, the current Historian, is so overwhelmed by these memories, that she can no longer take it – she flees her people, her responsibilities, and her pain and escapes to the surface instead...

Day Twenty-Three: Queer Book By An Author Who I Killed Is Dead

Cybersix by Carlos Trillo

I cannot emphasize enough, this is not actually a queer comic, it is in fact a very homophobic, transphobic and sexist comic written by a horrible person.

That being said, he’s dead and I own it now the TV series was essentially about a genderqueer superhero and a very confused bi biology professor who has a crush on both personas. I had a passionate crush on both personas as a child, and I will cherrypick this comic until I die in order to enjoy the only kickass genderqueer/genderfluid noir antihero I’ve come across. I am valid and I am not open to debate or discussion. Do not read this comic it’s horrible (but consider watching the show).

Day Twenty-Four: Queer Book You Wish You’d Read When Younger

The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang

This is such an incredibly soft story with the nicest art. There’s so much understanding and compassion in it and its exploration of gender and self-confidence and being true to yourself would have been very reassuring to me as a child, especially by late elementary/middle school. 

Day Twenty-Five: Queer Book In A Historical Setting

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

A retelling of Achilles’ and Patroclus’ relationship from childhood to the Trojan war. So yeah, you can imagine that this was also a candidate for Day 14 :’) I haven’t read this one in years but god it was lovely and emotionally destroyed me as a person.

Day Twenty-Six: Queer Superhero Book or Comic

Overwatch: Reflections by Michael Chu and Miki Montillo

I don’t really read superhero stories very often (the comics have always driven me a little bonkers, trying to find a way to enter the totally unapproachable Marvel/DC canons, and the MCU burnt me out years ago for every other sort of superhero story) so this is the closest I can get. Tracer’s a superhero yeah? Anyway, I, like every other queer person in the Overwatch fandom, lost my fucking mind when this dropped for Christmas a few years back and officially declared Lena Oxton not only the face of the entire franchise but also a lesbian. It’s an adorable little comic and Tracer’s girlfriend is a sweetheart.

Day Twenty-Seven: Favourite Queer Children’s Picture Book

Prince & Knight by Daniel Haack

There’s a number of sweet queer children’s books that are popping up these days, but this is my favourite just because it’s less about “explaining the gays to children” (though those books also have their place) and more of a cute little fantasy adventure in which the actual protagonist is gay. It’s about a prince who sets out to find himself a bride who can help rule by his side, but it quickly becomes clear that he isn’t interested in any of the girls. Instead, when a fire breathing dragon threatens his kingdom, he meets a brave knight who fights along side him. It’s very supportive and the art is lovely.

Day Twenty-Eight: Queer Book That Made You Feel Uncomfortable

Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann

This is a book with an asexual protagonist that I was originally really excited for. I know there are a lot of people out there who really enjoy this book and connected with it, but it didn’t do it for me. Maybe because my expectations were too high, but the protagonist’s experience with asexuality was vastly different than my own and the narrative voice ended up rubbing me wrong (and let’s be honest, slice-of-life romance is NOT my usual genre at all). So it’s not “made me uncomfortable because it’s Bad And Wrong” more just… totally vibed wrong with me. Maybe the perfect book for other people but definitely not for me, I had to return this one unfinished because it’s portrayal of asexuality just made me so deeply uncomfortable.

Day Twenty-Nine: Queer Book That Made You Want To Fall In Love

The Gentleman’s Guide To Vice And Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

This book had to make it on here somewhere, and honestly it could have gone in a lot of different spots, but I chose to put it here because the relationship between Monty and Percy is so incredibly sweet and authentic it really does make you want something like that. TGGTVAV (for anyone who has somehow not heard of it) takes place in the 18th century, and is about Monty, his best friend (and crush) Percy, and his sister Felicity going on a final “hurrah” tour of Europe before Monty's father finally tries to pin him down in England and force every part of Monty that’s deemed “unacceptable” out of him. So Monty intends to live this summer up… until everything goes off the rail and the three of them are suddenly fleeing across the continent with assassins at their heels and a strange, stolen artifact in their possession.

Monty has a lot of growing to do in this novel, and that’s one of my favourite things about it. For his and Percy’s relationship to ever have a chance, Monty needs to learn and change and actually communicate with other people, and it makes the relationship feel strong. Not a fluffy, surface level romance that often happens in YA but something built from the ground up by two friends who really want to make it work. Ahh, it’s lovely. One of my favourite novels.

Day Thirty: Queer Book With Your Favourite Ending

My Brother’s Husband by Gengoroh Tagame

A two-book manga series that was completely stunning. It deals with queer relationships and homophobia in a very stark, real-world manner that you don’t often get in manga, while still being incredibly loving and sympathetic. The book is about Yaichi, a single father whose estranged brother (Ryoji) recently died. One day, a Canadian named Mike arrives, introducing himself as Ryoji’s widower. Mike had come hoping to visit his late husband’s homeland to try to get some closure, and Yaichi ends up inviting Mike to stay. The whole story looks Japan’s societal biases, through Mike’s experiences, Yaichi’s thoughts, feelings and prejudices, and those of his daughter who adores Mike. 

Seriously, this is one of the kindest, most earnest looks I’ve ever seen to internal prejudices that critiques them without demonizing the person who feels them. Instead it lovingly embraces grief, growth, and love. This series made me cry multiple times, was good enough that even my straight brother practically ordered me to go out and buy the second book when he finished the first, and the ending was just *chef’s kiss*

Honourable Mentions

A few books I really wanted to fit on my list somehow but couldn’t quite manage it, so here: All Out an anthology of historical fiction short stories about queer teens. The Tea Dragon Society series and Princess Princess Ever After, graphic novels by the amazingly talented Katie O’Neill. Heartstopper a webcomic turn graphic novel by Alice Oseman about a pair of rugby players. The Different Dragon a cute picture book in which the boy has two moms and which is about accepting different ways of being. And Lady Knight a part of Tamora Pierce’s Protector of the Small series because because Kel is word-of-god aro(and/or ace) and I’ve adored that series and Kel since I was about thirteen so by god I’ll take it.

- 

Now for those that wanted to do their own challenge, I found it on @gailcarriger’s blog.

[zodiyack]

A Kiddy Crush Beats It Any Day

Requested: @gay-boi-dallas​ Hi! I love your account so much! I was wondering if you could make an imagine with Ferris and the reader is having like self-esteem issues and they hide their issues but Ferris finds out and helps them by being all cute and it's really fluffy by the end of it, if that makes any sense lol. If you could write it that would be awesome.

Pairing: Ferris Bueller x gender neutral reader

Warnings: itty bit o swearing, fluff, insecurities that make this kinda angsty(?)

masterlist

Y/n didn’t mean to be insecure. They really didn’t. Sadly, life had other plans. Sure, Ferris would tell Y/n that they were perfect, but it never really stuck. It was something Y/n thought Ferris pretended to see. Something Y/n thought Ferris lied about since he was their boyfriend. He had to be nice and say things that would make his partner smile, right?

Besides Ferris being nice, Cam and Sloane were lying too. They had to be. As Y/n’s boyfriend’s best friends, it was their duty to make Y/n happy as well. Why else would they hang out with the little nobody. Why else would they even talk to someone as annoying as Y/n?

It wasn’t like Y/n could do much. All they could do was sit around and be a disappointment. That’s all they thought they could do. It made Y/n frustrated, thinking of reasons why Ferris would even date them. ‘I have literally nothing to offer.’ They thought about their life and the choices they’ve made. ‘I can’t even do anything except for the things I was taught to do when I was younger. I’m just a lazy nobody...’

And before Y/n could stop themselves, the tears came spilling. It wasn’t their mom’s fault, it wasn’t their dad’s fault, it was Y/n’s. All Y/n wanted now, was to be alone and away from other people so they couldn’t hurt them or make them feel weird with the lazy teen they are. Was Y/n making people feel that way?

“Y/n? What’re you doing over here?”

The crying session was now declared, over. Y/n quickly brushed their face free of tears, putting on what was the most obvious of fake smiles Ferris had ever seen. He sat down next to his partner, rubbing their shoulder with worry and confusion.

“Are you alright? What happened?”

“Oh...nothing, I just missed..you.”

“You cried cause you missed me?” Ferris felt honored and even let out a warming chuckle. However, he wanted to know the full story. “Are you sure? I was gonna be here and you knew it, so there has to be more.”

Y/n knew that their boyfriend was smart. And they knew he could see when they were lying..most of the time. Believe it or not, Y/n had been insecure throughout their entire relationship, and they’d managed to keep it a secret for so long. That might explain why all these horrible feelings were crashing down now. The mask Y/n had worn for years, almost all of their life, was now crumbling to pieces. 

They wanted to tell someone. They needed to tell someone. “Yeah, I’m just.. very emotional right now. That stupid movie I watched last night still is going through my head. Such a tearjerker.” But they couldn’t.

“Y/n. What movie did you watch last night?”

Shit. Nightmare on Elm Street. “The NeverEnding Story.” They were just spewing lies. Anything to keep Ferris from finding out.

“You hate that movie though.”

“B- I- N- Wh-” Y/n inhaled, closing their eyes and restarting their sentence. “I don’t think I ever said that.”

“Good. ‘Cause you never did.” The weight on Y/n shoulders seemed like it was disappearing. Well, almost. “What’s your favorite scene?”

This was it. Goodbye relationship. Goodbye whatever happiness was left. Y/n didn’t know a single thing about the movie, only that Ferris enjoyed it and wanted Y/n to watch it with him.

Minutes went by. More minutes. It felt like hours now. Ferris’ head tilted and his eyes squinted. Y/n’s eyes darted, trying to avoid looking at Ferris for however long they could.

“You’re lying.”

“What?”

“I said, ‘you’re lying’. Y/n, you’ve never seen that movie. Also, before you try to make up another excuse, just know that you breathe with your mouth slightly open after you lie.”

Damn. He was good.

“Fine. I watched that Freddy Krueger movie last night. And yes, I wasn’t crying because I missed you, but I do miss you. I’m just...”

“You’re just what Y/n? I-” He sighed. It brought him great pain to see Y/n like this. “Please. I can’t help you without knowing what the problem is.”

“Me.”

“Excuse me?”

“The problem is me.”

“...How?”

“Ferris!” He didn’t know Y/n would snap. He didn’t know Y/n’s face would be redder than it was before. “I’m the problem! I’m too annoying and clingy, I don’t deserve half the awesome stuff that’s happened to me! I’m lazy and a good for nothing fatass. Do you see me? I’m the definition of mistake.”

He didn’t reply after that. Y/n didn’t either. Both sat still, not moving nor talking. The silenced minutes started once again. This time, the silence only built the tension in the air. Could this be the end?

“You’re not a fatass, ya know?” The silence was finally broken. And thank god for that. “You’re amazing. Perfect. The definition of perfection. No one’s really perfect, but you. You are what I think perfect means. I swear- you’re gonna be the death of me with how awesome you are.”

“You’re just saying that ‘cause you’re my boyfriend. You don’t actually-”

Y/n was shushed with Ferris’ lips pressed against theirs. They could feel heat rising to their cheeks and neck. Honestly, they probably would’ve passed out if it weren’t for Ferris pulling away to hug them.

“Never say that. I mean it, with all my heart. Y/n L/n,” He made a face, the one that he knew could make Y/n laugh with the tiniest glimpse at it. “I hope you know that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Before Y/n could respond, Ferris tackled them and smothered them in kisses. The couple laughed as they sat back up.

The day went just like that. Ferris demanding that Y/n sat by him and lied their head on his lap as he brushed his hands through their hair and told them reasons why he loved them. At some point, Y/n called Ferris an idiot because he stumbled over his words after they pecked his nose. And with that, shy-pouty-Ferris replaced cool-flirty-Ferris. It was adorable to say the least.

Finally, it was bedtime. Y/n wasn’t allowed to spend the night with Ferris, due to them both still technically being teens, so Ferris got permission to walk them home. The walk was just as cute and heart-warming as their hanging out had gone. When they finally approached the door of Y/n’s house, Ferris grabbed Y/n’s hands.

“Alright, so I know we are no longer talking about this, but I just wanted to say it. If anyone should be insecure in this relationship, it’s me. I mean, I skip school constantly and lie to my parents, you are only being dragged into it because you’re dating me. Seriosl-”

This time, it was Ferris who was shushed with a kiss.

“Shut up and go home so you can sleep, weirdo.”

“Only if you make me.”

“Ferris Bueller, I will drag you home by the ear and throw you into your bed myself if I have to.” 

“Is that a promise or a threat?”

“... Ferris.”

“I’m kidding darling. I love you, sweet dreams!”

“I love you too, dork.” Y/n laughed before closing the front door. Little did Ferris know that behind the door, Y/n blushed and stumbled through the house to their room as if they were drunk. He managed to replace their insecurities with the feeling of a kiddy crush.

Kiddy crush being Y/n feeling as if they were a six year old again, meeting their crush and giggling like they had just been asked if they did something they were guilty of. The feeling of being a kid again and smiling like an idiot around their crush. Being a kid again and blushing whenever they made human contact with their crush.

Kiddy crush beats being insecure any day though.

✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ 

I hope you liked this my friend! I got a bit confused in the middle and stopped writing for a day, so if it seems...well offtrack, and nowhere near what you wanted, I apologize. Also I had a hard time with the title, but then that last sentence was written and I had it. Thank you for the request, it was fun to write!

✘ Emerson

[lethesomething]

An otome lover’s guide to A3

So. A3.

Not an actual otome, but the actor management game and anime from Cybird (of Ikemen All the Things fame) has a bunch of boys. Ok, so a Lot of Boys. All the Boys, in fact. And men. Some of them are like thirty. Which is refreshing.

Where do you even begin telling them apart? Here is an Attempt, based on the first season of the game.

Spring troupe: The Vanilla boys

Bright, youthful, mostly kinda normal. This troupe stands out  for its overall lack of experience and its anime protag willingness to overcome hurdles. Most resembles the main team in a sports anime.

Sakuya Is baby. This boy is a golden retriever puppy that has yet to realize he's ended up in human form. Orphan street urchin with a heart of gold. He's kinda useless as an actor but he will ganba all the way until he makes it. Protect him. Mostly from himself.

Masumi A Giant Friggin Red Flag. Weirdly obsessed with MC. His personality apart from stalker syndrome is what I like to call 'the Kageyama Tobio': genius at one thing and uninterested or terrible at everything else. He is seemingly incapable of social interactions and at best uninterested in any of them apart from MC. Also really harsh on people who don't perform to his standards, which is almost everyone.

Tzuzuru The Self Sacrificing One. Look, this dude gave up most of his dreams to look after his siblings, and he literally joined you because otherwise he'd be sleeping in a cardboard box (Why are all these dudes street urchins?) Wants to be a playwright so he foregoes any semblance of sleep to finish scripts. Has the spinal cord of a jellyfish unless in Very Specific Cases. Cute when he pouts. Pouts a lot. Someone save him.

Itaru Jekyll and XxHydexX. Super cordial professional by day, game addict that will murder you for messing up his kill streak by night. He's So Friggin Pretty why is he a dick?? Doesn't really know if he's even into this theatre thing. You know he is. Of course he is. Calms down tremendously over the course of the arc, just don't, you know, get between him and his gamer score I guess.

Citron What the Foreigner. Mysterious foreign prince possibly on the run from his parents/the cops. Your theatre is a convenient hiding place for him, because obviously getting into showbiz is what you do when you want to remain anonymous. Speaks Japanese in a weird way. In fact, he sounds Exactly Like Utapri's Cecil despite having a different VA.  Quirky to a fault. Has potentially been trained as some kind of covert operative but is surprisingly cheerful about everything.

Summer Troupe: The Diva's

A group of highly talented dudes with varying degrees of social issues. Most resembles the cast of a smaller indie otome game.

Tenma The Arrogant One. A child actor from tv wanting to learn stage work. Has zero social skills. He's brash, completely full of himself and extremely critical of everyone else. Needs to learn the Power of Friendship which, spoiler, he obviously does, albeit in a very tsun kindof way. Can't let them know you care, ever.

Yuki Salt Personified. This kid is friggin 14 years old and wears dresses but he will rip you to shreds with his words. Winner of the most deadpan delivery of burns. He's in middle school ffs. Really into fashion. Resident costume designer. Potentially serves as a representation on gender roles in theatre, but the whole thing is fairly lowkey. The team, bless them, just accept him for who he is, sharp tongue and all.

Muku The Soft One. Another middle schooler, this one is way less sharp with his words. Into shoujou manga. Has severe insecurities and a propensity to start sentences with 'um'. Shaking leaf, what is he doing on a friggin stage. He actually has pink hair, could he BE any more squishy. Protecc.

Misumi The Weird One. I realize several characters fit that description, but Misumi is obsessed with triangles and lives in a  liminal space between realities so I don't know what to tell you. Also he's like… spiderman. Inhuman amount of acrobatics. Another homeless street urchin (Tokyo - is it Tokyo??? - appears to have an issue, guys). Sweet dude though. Chill and positive about everything, as long as it is triangular.

Kazunari The Influencer. Resident designer and bigshot on social media. He's down with Literally Everything. Likes everyone, is cool about every instance. Unerringly positive to an unhealthy degree. Really, Really conflict averse, even. You could call him painfully insecure, but that's like most of the cast. Wearer of hats in a non-ironic way.

Autumn Troupe: The Delinquents

This troupe consists almost entirely out of (ex) violent delinquents and (ex) criminals. The tough guys, no one here is totally innocent. Most resembles the cast of a beat-em-up.

Banri The Number One. Hotshot teenager who's never tasted defeat in his life. Good at anything without trying, so he never tries. Obsessed with outperforming Juza because he's like the one dude Banri can't beat at fisticuffs. Honestly kinda insufferable for most of their arc.

Juza The Lone Wolf. Cursed with a resting bitch face and an inability to perform in social settings. Considered a delinquent and constantly challenged to fights. Is actually sweet lamb, just with lots of muscles. Cripplingly low self esteem. Wants to act to be someone else. Protect at all costs.

Omi The Responsible one. Wait, that was an option?? Big brother type. Perfect son in law. A keeper. This guy is mature and he cooks and it makes me wonder what's wrong with him. There's probably a dark secret (narrator voice: there was a dark secret).

Taichi The Sunshine Child. Really into yoyo's. Like the toy, not the male subspecies. Has the hair colour and the vocal volume of a shonen jump protag. Bouncy and very loud. Feels way younger than the middle schoolers, though he's in high school.

Sakyo The Debt Collector. Actual yakuza agent. The one the theatre owes a lot of money too. Secretly really loves the performing arts, because of course he does. Massive tsun. I wasn't looking at you, baka. Should have been an accounting professor in another life. Wordy.

Winter troupe:The Drama Team.

No really, most of them have drama and angst written all over them. Only team that consists entirely out of actual adults. Angsty adults, but still. Most resemble the cast of a daytime soap opera.

Tasuku The Defector. The top actor from the rival gang troupe that joined Mankai instead. Fitness buff. Pretty clear about his boundaries for right and wrong. Sweet bean, really. Has a lot of emotions about his childhood friend Tsumugi. Seems to have a lot of feelings in general. Red oni type.

Tsumugi The Subdued one. Talks like a wallflower, looks like he got his fashion choices out of a high end french magazine from the eighties. One of the boring ones. Cinnamon roll. Blue oni. Massive self esteem issues due to past trauma. Weird relationship with his childhood friend Tasuku. They'll work it out, you know they will.

Hisoka The Narcoleptic. Literally washed up and adopted by the  theatre group that found him. Weirdly good at acting. Sleeps about 80 percent of the day. Needs to be poked and cajoled with treats. Might actually be a cat. Has no recollection of his life before he was picked off the street by a desperate director.

Homare The 'Extra AF'. A poet who dresses in loud costumes and has really stupid hair. Loud, overtly confident in his bad poetry and just generally confusing to watch. A Gentleman. Flamboyant. Kinda gay coded. Hisoka's crutch and the only reason that man is able to perform like a human being.

Azuma The Flirty One. A Cuddling Professional, because this is a teen rated game and we can't put in an actual prostitute or host. Unnaturally pretty. Indeterminate age. Sensitive. At least one of these dudes has empathetic abilities, may as well be the cute one. Extremely flirty and Experienced (tm) at life.

[spookidema]

(Y/N)ie and The Ferocious Beast

Genre: This is kinda an Angsty boi Pairing(s): Park Seonghwa X Gender Neutral!Reader Summary: Sometimes when we grieve, we need someone to listen to our stories. Please read the bottom for a note.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "He's actually gone," was the first words Seonghwa heard from you all afternoon since you got the new that your grandfather had passed away. You had been held up in your shared bedroom for hours under your weighted blanket crying after you got off the phone with your grandmother, who was the bearer of bad new. 

"Jagi," Seonghwa quietly called into the room standing close to the door just in case you sent him away," is it okay if I come in?"

He saw that you just shrugged your shoulders under the blanket and slowly started to approach the bedside and sit sown beside you. 

"Can I touch you," Seonghwa asked making sure touching you wouldn't hurt you. He didn't want to send you into a panic attack because he touched you when you weren't ready.

Witnessing you nod your head, he slowly started to rub your upper arm back and forth. You started to sniffed as he did this letting him know you were slowly starting to stop crying, or was about to start again.

"Is there anything I can do," Seonghwa asked wanting to do at least something to help you.

You scooted backwards in the bed and lifted the blanket indicating that you wanted him to join you under it. Seonghwa smiled softly as he joined you. Wrapping his arm around you, you clung to his torso with your head resting on his chest listening to his heartbeat.

You two laid in silence for several minutes, for neither one of you wanted to break the silence before you were ready, as you listened to your favorite lullaby and Seonghwa ran his fingers through your hair and held the hand that sat on his chest. 

"Hwa," you said hoarse from crying.

"Yes, my love," he answered.

"How much have I told you about my home," you asked as you rubbed your cheek on his shirt.

Seonghwa hummed as he thought about your question before he answered," you have told me some stories about your home town in Mississippi, some stories about you and your sister and brother in your childhood, some stories about your best friends."

"Did I tell you how close I was to my granddad," you clearifed.

Shaking his head had given you the answer you wanted.

"My granddad was one of the main world in the small solar system I keep, where I also keep you," you started. " He raised me and my siblings with my grandma while my mom worked all the time. Out of all my brother and sister, I was the one closest to him. He was more like a father to me than an grandfather."

"Where was your actual dad," Seonghwa question curious.

"Somewhere. I can't remeber where he went," you explained. " I don't remember much of him, but anyway Pops was a better dad than he was anyway."

"Pops and I were like two peas in a pod. You didn't see him without me and me without him. I was like his little shadow. We were so attached that my very first day at school that he is begged my Nan to go back and pick me up because I looked to small to face that big school by myself," you said as you laughed slightly as you remembered your grandmother telling you that story." He never like see me scared or sad. If I was scared or sad, I would climb into his recliner chair with him with a blanket and I would listen to him sing to the music he had playing on his radio or watch TV with him."

"He taught me almost everything I know. He taught me who to fish, to build, to cook, to basically survive. He and I used to always have a construction project going wither it be building a better porch for my Nan or a new dresser for sister to my brother's bed. You would always catch me with my little overalls that matched his with pockets full of whatever nails/screws we were using and shiny rocks that I would find as we worked. He rarely had to reprimand me because all he had to say was disappointed in me and I would straighten up my act very quickly."

"Sounds like he taught you a lot of useful trades," Seonghwa said as he pictured a young you wearing cute little overalls and a big hat to keep you from getting sunburnt.

"He did," you smiled. " He is one of the reasons that I was able to adapt to cooking here in Korea cause he taught me to try everything and learn from everything and everyone I can."

"How did he take you moving here to Seoul," Seonghwa questioned.

You sighed sorrowfully before you responded," He didn't take it very well. He hated that I wanted to go so far away. He even threatened to tie an anchor around me ankle to keep me there in Mississippi. He didn't want his youngin’ to go to a place where he couldn't get to them. It took my Nan two week to get my Pops to understand that I really needed to leave to become more of myself as a photographer after that I left with a promise to visit once every season and on his birthday and Christmas."

"He was very protective of you I see," Seonghwa smiled as he listened to you. "Me and him would have gotten along great then."

"You would have liked him. He was a cleaning maniac like you," you said. You looked up at Seonghwa and smiled, which told him that you were slowly getting better. " He loved cooking for the 6 of us in the house. He is the reason that I refuse to just cook for myself if the others are over. He never liked to leave anyone out or have anyone be hungry in his house. It actually took me living here in Seoul about a year and a half to lost some of the weight that I had put on during my teen aged years. The first time I saw him after losing that weight he jokingly asked me where his (Y/N)ie and the ferocious beast was because I look 'too skinny' to be me to him. Nan nearly peed herself after he asked me that."

"(Y/N)ie and the ferocious beast," Seonghwa asked confused.

"There was an American kids show that I was obsessed with as a child that was called 'Maggie and the Ferocious Beast' and the nickname just stuck through the years," you elaborated.

Seonghwa smiled as you continued to tell him these things from your early life. In the two year he had know you and the year and a half that you two had been dating, you never said much about your family other than the rare stories here and there. It wasn't because you hated your family or anything. It was because you were so close to your family and missed them so much. He could tell that even now that it hurt you to tell him these stories,but as you did your mood was started brighten.

"Thank you,Hwa," you thanked into his chest." Thank you for getting me to tell you about him. It makes me feel like I could at least tell you about his spirit since you weren't about to meet him in person. It felt like a weight came off my chest."

"You're welcome, and thank you for telling me about him, Jagi," Seonghwa said kissing your head. "You know you can tell me anything. Also if you need me to come with you to the funeral for support, I will."

"Not the prime way I wanted you to meet my family, Seongie," you chuckled sleepily,"but I will definitely need you if you can get time off."

"I will talk to my manager first thing in the morning," he said."Now I think its time for you to get some sleep, love. Today has been a long day for you."

"Okay," you agreed letting Seonghwa's shirt go so he could slid out of bed to change so he could join you. 

As Seonghwa joined you back in bed, he held you tight to his chest as he wrapped your blanket around the both of you. He kissed your forehead as you wished each other good night.

"Hwa."

"Hmm."

"Please don't leave me."

"Not for a long long long time.”

"Thank you. I love you, Seongie."

"I love you, my (Y/N)ie."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Author's Note: Alrighty then. Story time. As y'all probably tell this isn't my normal genre/thing to write, but this needed to be written. This has been on my mind for about a week now for this is kinda triggered by my uncle passing last Friday and this is how I'm trying to cope. I hope y'all enjoyed. See you in the next one. Take care.

[stonetheskooks]

um. I’m not in a very good place right now and I need to vent bc well

i don’t Know what’s going on to make me feel like this. I feel like everything I do isn’t real, That i’m faking everything I am and that one day i’m just gonna become a “normal person” and disappear into the crowd to start a mundane life

I had a massive gender and exisitential crisis a few days ago and I honest to god do not know whether i‘m trans or if i’m just an angsty teen in denial about everything. Hell, I don’t even know what I am in general. It all boils down to the fear that everything I do now is gonna be regretted by my future self. I feel like no matter what I do, i am always gonna be looked down upon by myself in the fuyure, and by others as just a “Awww look at the little baby who can’t figure anything out uwu Don‘t worry, they’ll figure out everything soon and become a horrible cynical adult”

i can’t express emotions well, either. Is it bc of my autism, is it bc i’m tired or am I a genuinely horrible person who lies about everything and anything???

Sorry if none of this makes sense i’m just feeling very confused and miserable Rn

[timetowritesomefluff]

hi!! Im here looking for the ships?? (I love your writing btw). Im a 16 year old female, six foot (god help me), I have red hair and blue/grey eyes.I play clarinet and also do theatre. My all-time favorite movie is the original Halloween. Im very energetic and hyper and I love really hard and really fast. I’m also very tactile and love to touch my s/o or close friends in some way at almost all times.I’m bi, so I dont really care what gender I get, but I’d prefer it from the Teen Wolf universe!!!

Omg you are so sweet, and I totally splurged for this ask. I can be sweettalked into anything flattery will get you everywhere

But babe I couldn’t decide on a ship....So I settled for three. Hope you’re not disappointed 😉, enjoy 💙

Scott

Scott would meet you when he stumbled into the band room looking for either a class or some recently escaped beastie, and lock eyes with you....

Only to dash out of the room again, more than a little confused about why his heart sputtered upon seeing that girl with the beautiful red hair that glinted in the sun.

Allison introduces you two—you and her were friends in theatre, and Allison was intrigued by your skills of observation. You’d noticed a supernatural thing here and there, and had even covered for the Pack just because you were, well, you. So Allison decided to pull you in to the pack, and you were more than willing to join the supernatural world.

The meeting went a little something like this:

Allison politely made the intros,

“Scott, this is my friend Y/N. Scott? Your mouth is just—it’s just hanging open. Say something.”

Scott blinked, and said,

“....Hi, I’m Y/N, nice to meet you, Scott.”

Stiles face palmed, muttering,

“Close enough.”

You shook Scott’s hand, electricity firing between your fingers, and smiled.

Scott STILL didn’t understand why it felt like his stomach was doing the conga, and he couldn’t stop smiling back at you.

A few weeks later, it wasn’t until Stiles pointed out the fact that Scott was still blushing an hour after you’d complimented his handwriting or something, idk his taste in pen choices (this boi would be shook no matter what you said), that Scott clued in.

From there, he was an adorable mess.

He wouldn’t for one second be put off by your height, thinking it just one of the million things that makes you a literally goddess in his eyes. Your hair, your eyes, your smile, the way you’d drink a can of freakin’ soda would be beautiful to him. It was the way you treat people, with sweetness and energy and passion that made him fall for you.

For real though, he’d be doodling his last name tagged on to the end of yours (or vice versa) after the first date.

Scott would one hundred percent be the Supportive Boyfriend, happily carrying your textbook between classes, opening doors and giving you his jacket.

But he’d also be the fun boyfriend.

You want to see Halloween for, well, Halloween? This boy has got a private drive-in movie theatre set up. You want to see the newest play they’ve got down at the community center? Well you’re gonna go sneak in and watch from the rafters, because it’s more fun that way and way more romantic.

This boy is so touch-starved that he takes every chance to make out with you, every chance to make your heart beat quicker (and believe me, he’s listening). But he’s also Scott-captain-of-toothache-sweet-McCall, and he’s the master of hand holding, swinging his arm over your shoulders, brushing your hair back and playing with the little baby hairs at the nape of your neck. This boy will have every freckle, every scar, every eyelash memorized because he just wants to know everything about you and make you feel as loved and appreciated as you deserve ♥️

Malia

Malia would literally die when she saw you. “She’s tall? And gorgeous? And can act? And she’s literally perfect?!”

When Stiles introduced you as the secret weapon of the group, aka the badass one that always had the best ideas, the logical decisions, the kickass attitude of positivity no matter the odds, Malia was strangely quiet, letting her hair fall in her face to hide the clumsy, blushy mess just a glance from your sea-glass eyes could make her.

Being a touchy person, you might have swung your arm around her strolling down the hall between classes, or in the parking lot after school.

Malia, being Malia, would automatically lean in to it (being a tactile person herself). Then she’d see who it was, turning her head and coming nose-to-nose with you.🙀

The look on her face was enough to send you into a fit of giggles, and just the sound of that was plenty enough to make her grin ear to ear.

“Can you do that again?” She’d ask softly as you began to stop. You’d look up, surprised.

Malia shrugged, blushy mess appearing.

“I like it when you laugh.”

Thus cue the cUTESt relationship in which Malia does any and everything to make you laugh, make you smile, make you happy. That means finding the absolute dumbest puns and delivering them with a straight face in the middle of a Bio test; that means knotting her fingers through yours every chance she gets because she just cannot get over how amazing it feels to have your skin sliding against hers. That means protecting you at every turn, and letting you protect her because Malia doesn’t believe for one second that you’re not just as capable of fighting however you choose, human or no. Malia would lay her head on your shoulder one day, smiling at the sight of your hand on hers, and kiss the back of it.

“I love you, Y/N,” she’d whisper, so soft and careful. You’d kiss her on the side of her head, smiling into her hair as you breathed in her woodsy scent.

“I love you too, Malia.”

Derek

Derek is hella angsty, or at least goes for the aesthetic of it.😈

But like any vaguely-aged young man, he’s not impervious to cinematic perfection. He’d end up squished in line next to you for a special promotion of Halloween. You, being adorable and outgoing, would strike up conversation. Him, being a broody leather-clad hottie, would say something snippy in return.

Buuut he noticed the way your eyes lit up when you talked about loving the movie, how you were so energetic talking with your hands and he was gripped by the strange urge to hold one.

Derek left quickly after that, and only ran into you as you, and your friends Scott and Stiles, started to meddle in the affairs of the supernatural world.

He. Was. NOT. Going. To. Fall. For. You.

He told himself like eighteen times a day, and failed each time.

Lydia didn’t fail to notice it, making little jokes here and there.

“And where is your leather-wearing bodyguard, Y/N? Out slaying dragons?”

“First of all, you’re weird. Second of all, what are the chances of dragons actually being real???”

Things only began to heat up when YOU took initiative.

Tired of all the mutual pining, the longing stares, the wagging eyebrows from stiles, and the undercurrent of admittedly sexy tension, you cornered Derek.

Buuut you hardly got two words out before his mouth was on yours, his hands in your hair.

When you two finally broke apart for air, you were stunned at the look on Derek’s face.

He was grinning, actually BEAMING. He rested his forehead against yours with a special tenderness, and whispered,

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

[thatcrappypuppy]

Fic request from Grootiez!

This is a lot different than what I normally do, but I think @grootiez could use some cheering up. Hope you like this and thank you for the request! I can’t put the request up here because it would spoil the story.

It’s a long request so I thought I’d at least write some angsty-teen Groot going to school first chapter. Couldn’t say for sure how long it would take me to continue or finish it!

Takes place after Endgame, so there are definitely spoilers.

//———//

Earth wasn’t Peter’s idea but Missouri was. School wasn’t his idea, either. That was Rocket’s, since he thought he Groot could use some socialization. Come to think of it, Peter didn’t really like any of this. Not even the Missouri part.

And since when had Rocket warmed up so much to humans? Being cooped up on Earth should’ve been more torturous to Rocket than it was to Peter, but he couldn’t ignore how much his friend had changed.

To most of the Guardians, they’d only been gone an instant, and in that instant, everything changed.

“See, Rabbit? I told you it wasn’t far.” Speaking of changes, Thor’s voice brought Peter back to reality. “Groot could easily walk here on his own.”

The entire Guardians of the Galaxy, minus Gamora and plus Thor, who Peter was reluctant to include into the family, was walking Groot to high school.

“You don’t decide what’s best for Groot,” Rocket snapped.

“I should get some say,” Thor muttered, then added, while pointedly looking at Peter, “as the team leader.”

“You’re not the leader,” Peter interjected, “and we’re not just a team.”

“Yeah, we’re a family,” Drax insisted, nodding with confidence. He and Mantis beamed at each other.

“No!” All eyes turned to Peter, who had just blurted the word without thinking. “I mean - yes, we are. But, more importantly, we’re heroes. You can’t just have anyone step in and become leader. It’s gotta be somebody who’s responsible.” When Thor looked like he was going to argue more, Peter continued, talking over him, “And! Someone who’s been responsible for the Guardians for years. Which is why I’m-“

“I’m the leader,” Rocket interrupted.

“What?” Peter shook his head, “No…”

“In case you’ve forgotten, Nebula and I have been the only Guardians of the Galaxy for five years! And she sure as hell wasn’t diplomatic enough to be leader!”

The Guardians turned to see if Nebula would argue, but she was making threatening faces at a nearby group of gawking teens as they made their way to school, only stopping when she felt their eyes on her.

“It’s true,” was all she said.

“AND,” Rocket continued before Peter could say anything, “at the very least, I am the leader of Groot!” He pointed at the teen in question with his thumb.

Peter couldn’t argue with that.

Groot, meanwhile, scowled. He didn’t feel like himself in their new home in this new neighbourhood. And he didn’t like toting around a backpack full of heavy textbooks and school supplies.

“I am Groot?” he asked rhetorically if anyone was going to ask him what he wanted.

“No, we’re not. We - or, more accurately - I am not gonna ask. I’m gonna tell you what’s best for you.”

“I am Groot?”

“You can’t bring yer holotab because you’d just play with it all day. Besides, they don’t publish Terran textbooks for you to download there. And none of the other kids will have that kinda tech.”

“Yeah wouldn’t want him to stand out,” Peter said sarcastically.

“Shut it, Star-Munch.”

“And, hey! Did it occur to you that if Earth’s textbooks aren’t published on the intergalactic web that they may not be accurate? Or useful?” Peter walked backwards as he spoke.

“I am Groot?” Groot agreed, asking the age-old question of “why do I have to learn this bullshit?”

“Watch yer frickin’ language!” Rocket barked. Then, he turned to Peter. “Don’t you think I know that Earth’s the most backwards, barbaric planet since Hala?”

“Woah! You’re saying we’re worse than the Kree planet?” Peter asked, his face scrunched in disapproval.

“I think the Kree are worse,” Drax stated.

“All I’m saying is this planet sucks and school sucks - ya probably already know more than most of those idiots-”

“I am Groot?!” rather than wait for Rocket’s explanation, Groot burst out his frustrated question.

“If you’d let me finish!” Rocket waited a moment to see if anyone would interrupt him. “You’re there to make friends. Learn what it’s like to be around people your own age ‘n all that crap.”

“I did wish for real friends my own age when I was a teen,” Mantis chimed in.

“There ya have it. We’re sending you to school so that you don’t end up like Mantis.”

Mantis squeaked, but couldn’t quite place whether Rocket was insulting her or if he was just stating that he didn’t want Groot to be lonely like she was. Ever the optimist, she went with the latter, and, in any case, was quickly distracted by a long building in front of them.

“This is it,” Peter confirmed.

The chain-link fence beside the sidewalk they had been following finally ended at a set of yellow, metal bars that served as the gates to a massive parking lot. The school itself was white at the base and red at the top and looked more like the back of a strip mall or a warehouse. The Guardians looked left and right, but the only indication they had that this was, indeed, a high school and not a prison yard or sketchy back alley was a small, tilted sign that said “DRUG-FREE SCHOOL ZONE.”

“Haha, yeah right, right?” Peter stood by the sign and pointed at it, grinning. Most the Guardians ignored him, except for Rocket, who looked pissed.

“Alright, you guys stay here. Office said to sign him in at building one…” Rocket stepped forward and Groot obediently, albeit reluctantly, followed.

The buildings were plain, undecorated, unless you counted the large white numbers indicating which building was which painted on the second story, too high to be vandalized. Groot observed that the first floor walls were not so fortunate, as the inconsistent paint jobs suggested their habitual desecration - that and the fact that it seemed the school’s janitorial staff wasn’t even bothering with the latest obscenities painted on the walls.

The students who attended this school clearly didn’t like or respect it. Groot supposed he could be thankful that he already had something in common with the people who would become his peers.

//———//

Sadly, it seemed the only thing the students hated more than school was Groot.

He was blamed for half the universe disappearing for five years. “It was one of you aliens that did it!” Which was why he was blamed for their families falling apart. “Mom didn’t think dad was ever coming back. Do you have any idea what an asshole her new boyfriend is?!” Not to mention, he was also blamed for ruining their lives. “If you aliens hadn’t’ve started your alien war, my friends and I would have graduated together, like we promised! Why does Earth have to pay for your problems? You should just go back to space and stop being our problem!”

Groot tried to reason with them. They were all enthusiastic about being all-inclusive of race, gender, and sexuality. He’s point out that he was one of billions of billions of aliens out there, and it wasn’t his fault that Thanos did what he did. He’d point out that it was, indeed, racist to define all aliens by the actions of just one man, Thanos, and that it was also racist and stupid to think that Groot was just like any other alien.

Thor once had the good intention to walk Groot to school, since Rocket always insisted that somebody walk with him. He walked with Groot all the way up to the school doors. For once, nobody made any comments at Groot.

“There, that’s better, isn’t it?” Thor amicably patted Groot on the shoulders as he said goodbye to make a show of their friendship, but that only silenced the other students while Thor was still there. As soon as he was out of the parking lot, they were back at their usual jibes and glares.

There were a few students that tried to talk to him, to tell him how immature the bullies were acting and not to take those assholes seriously. But, after a while, just like the rest, no matter what Groot tried to say, to bullies or otherwise, he would eventually be met with frustration on their part.

“Who the fuck cares?! We know you’re Groot!”

School had just become a routine of sitting at the back of class because, even though it was easier for students to throw garbage or spit at him, it was also easier for him to see it coming and stop or dodge it, hiding in the bathrooms during the shorter break of the day, and sneaking food into the library because it seemed the librarian understood that Groot couldn’t eat peacefully in the cafeteria.

He was hurt. The Guardians weren’t the most popular group in the galaxy, and he certainly wasn’t anyone’s favourite, not like the Hulk or Thor of the Avengers, but he wasn’t used to being universally hated.

He was confused. Rocket insisted that this was best. How was this learning to get along with people his age? He was quickly learning to hate people his age. Or perhaps all people in general, since the teachers equally ignored him, despite being informed about the language barrier.

“The school can’t afford for every teacher to have a universal translator, are you kidding?” Rocket told him noncommittally as he worked away. He was busy getting a freelance repair business off the ground since, aside from Mantis and Drax, most the Guardians would be able to help with that and they’d be able to make extra money. “You’ll figure it out - you always do everywhere else.”

But everywhere else had a universal translator at best, or they were used to meeting people they didn’t understand. Groot would point this out, but Rocket would just tell him to deal with it since he was too busy to do so.

Groot couldn’t even skip school the way he’d seen other kids do, since he was walked to and from school, and any missed classes promoted the school to call Rocket, who would take away gaming privaleges for the day when he found out.

So Groot was trapped. Trapped in the back of the class, the bathrooms, and the library. Trapped on a planet that couldn’t understand his language - refused to, in fact. Trapped alone with a family that equally refused to understand his problems. Well, Peter seemed to get it - he had hated school, too, but he couldn’t convince Rocket to leave this damn delusional planet.

Groot was known for being outspoken in his grumpiness, he was known for being loud with his complaints, and he was known for being upfront with his negative attitude. But, now, trapped, he knew that it didn’t help him to argue, yell, scream, or cry. So he became silent. And since Rocket didn’t seem to have time to realize that Groot wasn’t talking to him, Groot realized that his family wouldn’t care if he was gone.

His only company became his games and some books in the library. There was a whole section of ���Teen/Young Adult Drama” devoted to conflicts like the one he found himself in.

He read about teens who were at a disadvantage because they were different, and were bullied for it.

He read stories about friends turning to enemies over a mutual love interest and the triumph of overpowering the enemy with wit and intellect. But Groot couldn’t prove his wit or intellect because no one would listen.

Mysteries about why a quiet kid at school had used narcotics to kill himself - the journal he’d left behind for his friend had to discover and decipher. But Groot didn’t have even a single friend who would care if he was gone.

His life had become a routine of being trapped. And he desperately wanted to escape.

One day, he was pushed over that edge, when he got in trouble for leaving the school premises. He knew Rocket would find out but he didn’t care.

“I don’t want you skipping school and I DEFINITELY don’t want you leaving the property! What were you even doin’?!”

“I am Groot!”

“What do you mean what do I care? Of course I care!”

Groot yelled one last time, a voice-cracking scream that everyone in the house could hear before slamming the door to his room shut.

“Groot! That’s not true! And don’t you slam that door!” Rocket stomped towards his son’s room, but Peter stopped him.

“Rocket, wait. Don’t you see what this is doin’ to him?”

To Peter’s surprise, Rocket did wait. And he sighed, his ears drifting down shamefully. So, he continued.

“You know first-hand how mean and judgemental people can be. It’s not just teens, either. And Groot can’t even stick up for himself! We’re lucky he’s not getting into fights or anything because he could probably kill them.”

“I know…”

“Groot’s actually a really good kid.”

“I know.”

“Then why are you putting him through this?” Peter asked. “Why are any of us doing any of this? He doesn’t need the education and he’s not learning how to get along with people.”

“I know!” Rocket turned to look at Peter and his eyes were wide, wildly so. “But it’s safe.”

Peter then realized that Rocket’s tough guy act and his obsessive need to tinker with technology was still, first and foremost, a front to hide his fears. Of all the things in the galaxy that had changed, this remained true.

While Earth was boring at best and brutal at worst, few creatures inhabited it that could harm Groot. And, secretly, Groot was gentle. He knew when he could overpower someone and was careful not to unless they really forced him to. He was part of a team that protected people, even if the people they protected were assholes like the ones he went to school with. This meant that he would never give the world leaders of Earth any reason to wage war against him, but it also meant that he would pretty much never defend himself if it meant hurting a human being.

Peter had more to say.

“Right now, Groot is dealing with one of life’s hardest challenges. You don’t know because you never went to school. And when he says you don’t care about what he’s going through, I think he really believes it. It’s gotta stop. You’ve gotta let him live a good life, even if it’s not particularly safe.”

“You’re right…” Rocket looked to the floor. “I shouldn’t’a… I should go talk to him.”

Rocket knocked on Groot’s door, trying to show that he wasn’t still mad and that he was willing to respect Groot’s privacy - a major improvement from just a minute ago, but found the door wasn’t even fully closed.

“Groot?” Rocket pushed the door the rest of the way open. Vines, let loose and unkept, as usual, littered the floor and even crept up the walls and out the open window, but there was no Groot in sight.

//———//

To be continued???

[mappingthemoon]

​When I first came across these photos, I assumed, without knowing the dates, that these must show the year before and the year after my first love S. and I "broke up," the first time I had ever experienced Heartbreak. (Well, no, actually, my first reaction to these photos was probably more like, "holy teen angst, batman! also: who hurt u.") In reality, based on careful comparisons of my haircuts in other photos taken during these years, and my deductive assumption that girls' softball season ran from March-May, I'm pretty sure that the first photo (age 12/13) was taken half a year before I even met S., and the second photo (age 13/14) was taken maybe six or eight months into our friendship: we were in fact right on the cusp of spending a most amazing summer together before being forced to attend separate high schools (as her family, tragically, lived in an entirely different school district).

It's likely I am just projecting a narrative of my personal mythology backwards into the past, but still I feel, angsty melodrama aside, the image is evidence of a kind of heartbreak: the kind where you're a 13-year-old girl who, while not completely friendless, experienced a decade of bullying (both the fickle cruelty of kids and the abusive actions of adults who still believed in corporal punishment); a 13-year-old girl who felt completely alone and utterly misunderstood... but who finally found someone with whom they shared an immediate, intense mutual understanding and appreciation... only to learn very quickly that this love -- which, as a matter of course, defied gender, ignored gender -- was viewed by some people, who had a lot of power over me, as Wrong. Our parents were Concerned about the Intensity of our friendship and the amount of time we spent together, “isolated” from other kids. My psych at the time (first time!) was a guy who very much seemed to think that close friendships between girls are Bad and probably believed homosexuality was a disorder. I didn't know much about queerness then. I was a tomboy and extremely uncomfortable with the trappings of femininity (still am lol). I had been obsessed with David Bowie since I was about 10 and practically had the Rocky Horror script memorized, but I couldn't articulate what was so intriguing about seeing men wearing dresses and makeup.

But in my naivety, there was no confusion, no second-guessing, no sense of sin. I had found this amazing person and we understood each other deeply: why wouldn’t we say “I love you,” why wouldn’t we hold hands, why wouldn’’t we kiss? I hadn’t had a physical sexual awakening yet, not really. My philosophy was “love is love” at its most innocent and ignorant. Quite simply, I just literally could not understand why anyone would ever think it was “wrong” to have such a pure feeling of love and closeness to another person, just because of their gender. How could such a beautiful feeling be wrong? How could such a sincere depth of emotion and total understanding and acceptance be a mistake? When I look at the second picture now, I’m sure it’s captured a lot more than mere teen angst: the first hints of disillusionment, a seed of cynicism. The incongruity of the elation I felt with the shame I was supposed to be feeling. The need to fiercely protect and keep secret my deepest truest thoughts and feelings, for misunderstanding can lead to total rejection. The initial prick of awareness that I cannot always meet the rest of the world with unbridled hope; that I will eventually get hurt.

[remus-lupin-is-my-type]

Tag people you want to get to know better game thing

I was tagged by @mooning-sirius and @askapotter , love you guys <3

I’ve done something very similar before, but it’s been a while so why not :D

Nicknames: Nicki is technically a nickname actually! My full name is Nicole, but literally no one ever calls me that :P

Gender: Female

Star sign: Virgo

Height: 5′6

Sexuality: Pansexual

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Favorite Animal(s): I think I gotta go with the classic answer of “dog” :D

Average Hours of Sleep: It varies. I am a trash garbage human when it comes to sleep. I either sleep for ten hours, or four. It all depends really xD

Where I’m From: Canada

Dream Trip: I’ve been to England already, but I’m gonna keep saying it because I loved it there sO MUCH. 

When I Made This Account: July of 2011 let’s just pretend my archive doesn’t exist oh my god the cringe attacks

Why I Made This Account: As much as I use this blog to roleplay, it’s not actually a roleplay blog. The thought of having more than one stresses me out, and I like the idea of this one thing really representing who I am, rather than splitting myself up between blogs idk lol xD Back in like middle school, me and my friends found out about Tumblr and started a joint blog for fun, but then we all kind of got our own, and this was mine! I’ve had it ever since then. It’s been hilarious to watch it change over the years from like “Nicki reblogs angsty teen posts about being unloved cuz she confused being bummed about being single with depression” to “fandoms and shipping and gAY OH MY” ;)

Followers: At the moment, 849 :)

Tagging: @nerdydancingravenclaw @lord-lunatic @thediariesofastoriagreengrass @moomsyy @ilvermornyintrovert