#i want to sleep for 20 years
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#someone please just put me out of my misery#im so tired#why is this even necessary#why do we have to go through all fo this shit#i want to sleep for 20 years
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bad kid bard step-siblings who have a devil father, a name beginning with F and a desire to pursue unhealthy relationships until they finally get their kisses in with a cute girl who is based on a mythological creature
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fig faeth#ayda aguefort#fabian seacaster#mazey phaedra#fantasy high junior year#fhjy spoilers#figayda#sorry theyre so messy i need to sleep but i wanted to post them so just pretend you dont see the unfinished hands 😌#my art#id in alt text
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i was hacked by a very unhappy man!
#dimension 20#never stop blowing up#nsbu#d20 nsbu#g13#g13 nsbu#usha rao#MY TASTE IN FICTIONAL CHARACTERS GETS WORSE AND WORSE BY THE DAY!!!!!#sorgy. i cant help it every time a character is even slightly sympathetic i fall for it every time#i acknowledge that he is rude to everyone around him and the reason why he is so isolated from every body#is that he is egotistical and drives people away on purpose#like if u are not useful to him then he doesnt like you#but that in and of itself is so sad. hes just really sad#and a dick. and its funny#“we can have an old ladies night out” “maybe you can have that one by yourself” LMAO#ALSO USHA IS SO FUNNY U HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD I WAS LAUGHING TODAY#“i made my own alcohol during the prohibition” SHES 100 YEARS OLD AT BEST. AND FROM INDIA#i think these two are my favorite characters this far and i dont know what that says abt me#oh not even mentioning the inherent tragedy of fictional character who knows theyre not real and wants to escape into the real world#tell me g13. why do you want people? huh? HUH?#im also being influenced by his nature of being a loser and also i like computers and computer symbolism#im normal you can trust me#i could go on about how usha and g13 are alike in their refusal to change#but i need to sleep#nsbu spoilers
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Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep - A Fragmentary Passage
#kingdom hearts 0.2 birth by sleep a fragmentary passage#kh0.2#darkside#heartless#realm of darkness#my gif#i really do wish to learn more about these heartless#they're huge and intimidating although never particularly strong yet they still feel so significant#i'd like to think they're more than what they seem and are not just a reoccurring boss#waiting for the possibility to learn info on a very specific thing for an ongoing 20+ year old game series... agonizing#the fact that only this kind of heartless can create a giant evil ball of energy in the sky that consumes worlds means SOMETHING right?#whenever we have to fight one the camera always zooms out through the empty heart shaped chest cavity and i want that to Mean Something
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Kinda in regards to the Empress & BodyGuard 2-
Is Zaphira (sorry if I spelled her name wrong) an elf or do humans have pointed ears in your universe? If no elves, how do the pointed ears happen? Are there different length of ears and if so do they mean somethin?
Love your art & use of colours!
Thank you! and thank you for asking! (this sketch took me way too long .. and the colors still look washed out on my desktop screen but im not editing a third time ..)
Zaphira is human, there are no elves, as such, in this world, though humans tend to live longer than IRL and have differently shaped ears-
the shapes are rather diverse (example above) and culturally (so far) they have no significance, they are merely a trait just like different nose shapes or fantasy hair colors
the worldbuilding reason is that these are extremely diluted demonic influences- in the past demons were frequently in the human world, though largely in secret/disguised, and long time exposure to demonic presences can have varying effects, the most immediate and common being a longer life or wounds healing faster than normal; there might have been other long time effects but the only trait that stayed even after their disappearance is the ear shapes
(there was a mass extinction event of demons that wiped out all above a certain age, since demons generally dont die of natural causes their life neither depends nor revolves around reproduction so there were extremely few left and those were too young to keep most of their knowledge and culture alive, as they rarely wrote anything down; Shargon is of the current oldest generation and witnessed it happen, just like most now adult demons, Thor and Eadrya are both a bit older than him and thus the oldest living demons, which doesnt mean much considering the technically endless lifespans of them)
and to explain me including Shargon in a human appearance- hes the only demon that spends as much time in the human world as at home, largely to escape the others since they are not interested in going there and would otherwise attack him any chance they get (the human world is rather uncomfortable for demons to be in and they have better things to do than to chase him that far), while hes generally very weak compared to them, something he is very good at is shape shifting, mainly the speed of which, being able to shift between full demon and the smaller more humanoid form extremely quickly, or even mid forms that are a mix of both - even in motion! while for the others it takes them quite a bit and forces them to stop which is the main reason he keeps escaping them not able to keep up with his rapid shape shifting (though it does take its toll .. also a reason hes so skinny)
he is the first (only?) one that at some point will learn how to shift into a much more human looking one (depicted in the sketch) too, but its rather dangerous since it involves supressing and compressing his demon heart and system... which is what keeps demons alive (its somewhat like holding your breath for way too long) so the only time he would make use of it is in extreme situations, like avoiding detection by maschines that can pick up demonic energy or escaping shackles made of celestial silver (which drains their energy and can scar/hurt them permanently, like silver to vampires(?werewolfs?) in a way)
....the point is that if he shifts into a human form he has very long ears, meaning that is basically the extreme form that doesnt occur in humans and hints at the origins for those ear shapes being demonic exposure in the past
#ganondoodles#art#original characters#original art#oc#ocs#oc lore#man i cant ever keep it short can i#its 1am again ............#welll i hope that answers your question njdflndflnjlsd#also as a sidenote- zaphira and midas are siblings but not biologically#she was adopted into the royal family and is good chunk older than midas as he was born a while after shes been there#he was supposed to take the throne after their parents died in an allegedly accidental fire but he was like ... 6 at the time#and begged her to take up the throne instead despite the people not being very fond of her due to her agressive nature#.... which was proven correct in a way given she waged war for many years after taking up the crown#(.. bc she found out their parents were killed by a neighbouring country and the fire placed to get rid of traces)#(no one but her and a few officials knew of that being the real reason she attacked that country and not just a lust for power)#(midas still doesnt know -even now)#( though it got out of control and she ended up taking over multiple countries .. hence her title)#(after her wife died she swore to never engage in war again and been spending the last .. 20?30? years trying to repair the damage she did)#just adding that again bc its kinda central to her entire problem of everyone and their grandmother wanting her dead#and her being determined to do as much as she can before midas has to take over and pick up the pieces#..............though none of it goes as planned of course#ANYWAY i need sleep#sorry for the long text spam#i cant help but yap about my special lil guys
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“Oh baby, can you cast legend lore!”
#awwww#what an excited dm#sadly I must go to sleep before the lore drop#I honestly feel like I’m going to accidentally fall asleep now and I want to remember the episode so it’s for the best#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fhjy ep 17#fhjy spoilers#legend lore#adaine abernant#sibohan Thompson#brennan lee mulligan#live reaction#the name#the name spoilers
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Fuck it Friday & Inspiration Saturday
it’s Saturday for me so I’m smooshing the two together.
Tagged by @thewolvesof1998 @wikiangela @exhuastedpigeon @lover-of-mine @disasterbuckdiaz @devirnis @spotsandsocks @callmenewbie -> tagging you all right back for inspiration Saturday 😘
Okay so I’m back from holidays and the writing beans did visit me (yay!) … but did they visit for any of my current wips? Haha of course not 🤪. Being near the beach inspired a new buddie wip that is going to be part of a series called Daylight, inspired by the Taylor Swift song of the same name. I already have some stuff written for two more fics in the series too haha.
Here’s a moodboard for the series and a little snippet from the first fic, I’ve been sleeping so long in a 20 year dark night (now I’m wide awake).
Quick summary -> musician Buck is tired of the fame, fortune and loneliness of a life that doesn’t even feel like his own, so he packs his bags and runs away and ends up in the small beachside town of Hartlan Shore where he may just find everything he’s been longing for.
“What are you playing?”
Buck’s fingers pause in their strumming, his left hand sliding along the neck of the guitar as he abandons the chords he was playing. He opens his eyes to find a kid, no more than 8 years old with curly brown hair and wide inquisitive blue eyes framed by red rimmed glasses standing before him.
Buck squints his eyes against the morning sun. “Uh, nothing really, just playing random chords hoping it’ll turn into something.”
The kid moves on shaky legs to drop down in the sand on Buck’s right hand side. “I want to learn to play the guitar, but my Dad says no one in town is offering lessons.”
Buck frowns in sympathy for the kid. He remembers being a kid in Hershey and begging his parents for guitar lessons. He still doesn’t know why they turned him down at first, leaving him to seek out lessons from the school music teacher, Mr Glover, every Thursday at recess. It wasn’t until Mr Glover flagged his parents down at the one parent teacher night they actually managed to attend, using the magic words natural talent for the guitar and great potential with the right vocal training, that they agreed to get him not only private guitar lessons, but singing lessons too. Mr Glover had been more than happy to keep their lessons up, but Phillip and Margret Buckley didn’t think a mere school music teacher was good enough to teach their son, not if he was going to become somebody. Buck hadn’t cared who taught him, he’d just wanted to learn, just like this kid seems to.
“Would you like to learn a couple of chords now?” Buck asks.
The kid’s face lights up, a wide smile stretching across his face as he nods his head eagerly. Buck feels himself melt a little at how adorable this kid is.
“First things first.” Buck lays his guitar over his lap and extends his hand out to the kid. “I’m Buck.”
The kid looks at his hand for a moment, long enough that Buck is starting to wonder if maybe he doesn’t know what a handshake is, but then a small hand slips into his. “I’m Christopher.”
No pressure tagging: @watchyourbuck @hippolotamus @athenagranted @eddiebabygirldiaz @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @jamespearce9-1-1 @wildlife4life @weewootruck @rainbow-nerdss @the-likesofus @try-set-me-on-fire @theotherbuckley @fortheloveofbuddie @steadfastsaturnsrings @giddyupbuck @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @hoodie-buck @honestlydarkprincess @ladydorian05 @loserdiaz @clusterbuck @monsterrae1 @mellaithwen @nmcggg and anyone else who wants to join in and share something ❤️
#fic: I’ve been sleeping so long in a 20 year dark night (now I’m wide awake)#Daylight series#buddie wip#daffi writes#buddie#I’m itching to get back to Rival Firefighters because I miss them#but I don’t want to force it#so I’ll continue to go where the writing beans take me ☺️
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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So just finished the finale and I am emotionally exhausted in the best fucking way. This episode put me through the wringer; the epic highs and lows of football will never compare to the epic highs and lows they pack into 1 episode of dimension 20
#I laughed#I cried#(multiple times)#screaming at my tv#took me over 4 hours to get through this 3 hour episode#I … Need sleep#I have things I want to scream about but don’t know that I’m coherent enough right now to vocalize any of them#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fantasy high#fhjy#d20
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I'm not super involved in the Nicktoons Unite fandom, but I have been combing through fics and I'm already tried of Danny being portrayed as the big brother/second smartest one instead of what he actually is: a fucking idiot.
#nicktoons unite#danny phantom#danny fenton#i mean this as affectionately as possible btw#if anything JIMMY should be the tired older brother who subsists off of coffee and no sleep#danny and timmy have adhd and probably three brain cells between the two of them#I'm not saying Danny is a dunce#he's passionate about flight and space travel!#but let's be honest — he's 14 in canon. those are passing interests#they're not. like. something he could tell you every single last detail about#source: i am also into aeronautics#second source: i grew up with dp and I'm tired of the dumbass erasure#danny has no thoughts and only has teenage angst when a ghost is manipulating him lol#i know we all want our favs to be cool#but danny is literally just the biggest dork in the world#he's not a gritty 20 year old with 5 o'clock shadow who needs to smoke just to feel something#everyone's entitled to their interpretations obvi but#i think dp fandom has become so far removed from canon at this point that they created a whole new character who just is not danny fenton#and i don't really enjoy it because I always liked danny for the character he HAS not the one i think he should have had instead#this became kind of a tangent and this is probably an unpopular opinion but yeah i just wanted to say my piece#i can't really interact with the dp fandom anymore because they're basically all fans of a made-up show at this point
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trying to plot future clay and branch stuff for b&b but its 3 am and im emo rn
#and also im so bad at writing arguments#i want branch to yell at him but ouh. how. and also will it be in character and make sense etc#hard to plan smth that takes place 20 years in the future man#sketch speaks#trolls b&b au#i need to not stay up but i am struggling w going to sleep at a normal time my usual method is not working#so even if i get in bed at a reasonable time i cant fall asleep until the sun is coming up and it's SO ANNOYING
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screaming into the void <3
#my best friends boyfriend (who i’ve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn#we think it’s a manic episode but we don’t really know but it’s. terrifying lowkey#he thinks he’s genuinely jesus and that he’s conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve#he’s been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday#and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them#and he keeps being like ‘because it’s 6:20 this is true’ and like ‘i know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understand’#and he’ll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but it’s all nonsense#i’m just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i don’t know how to ensure that happens cause he’s 19. not a minor#he’s just. not him rn. he’s called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally#he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok#and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning#and you can’t get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him#to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing#but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday#he also didn’t sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight#i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning#and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but we’re leaving today and i don’t wanna wake her up until i have to because#this is literally hell for her. but it’s just. scary. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think there’s any good options really for me rn#i want to warn ppl and try to explain he’s Not Him rn so they don’t get concerned but who knows if they’ll understand what i’m trying to say#i know it’s not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense#and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year#but she can’t stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. we’re all too scared it’s going in the directon where he thinks it’s better#for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but he’s Not Him and so like. who knows#he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand#my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back it’s really scary#cause he will probably never be the same again. he’ll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but he’s Not Him. and can’t give it#i just. really want this to get better but it’s so hard to see that happening rn
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i got two helix piercings done on my left ear today!!!!!! and they look SO GOOD im obsessed!!
#[static]#for years it's been one thing or another that kept me from getting the piercings i wanted (being a flight attendant covid etc.)#but im not getting any younger and i have been wanting these piercings since i was in my early-early 20s#i got 5 or 6 more I want done but i gotta pace them out so that i can actually sleep since im a side sleeper#so i got my left ear done and next spring i'll do the three piercings on my right ear and then my eyebrow & see if i got space for a bridge#went with a buddy who wanted to get the other side of his nose pierced!#pain wasnt bad at all but as someone who tosses and turns in my sleep its gonna be rough not being able to sleep on the other side for awhi
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Something something nothing quite like the temptation of failing once. The insane idea of fucking up big time just so my anxiety realizes that the world won't end.
The only thing holding me back is the possibility of that becoming a habit and the worry of... What if the world does end? What if I can never recover from that? What if it will matter in the grand scheme of things???
#don't mind me#it's 4am#I should be sleeping hours ago#my bestie is waiting for me to answer a message#and my professor wants me to do totally doable things in a totally rational time to do them#everything is fine#I've already survived 20 years so I can survive this
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good morning and merry christmas !! aesthetic photo of my cookies be upon ye
#just me hi#i put them on the plate and then the little devil and my shoulder said Hey what if we spent the next 20+ minutes editing it#and they were right that was fun lmfvshgh#Except for looking for a glitter brush on ibis! why are all the thumbnails so blurry it hurts my eyes Ghfksfjvk#yea the phone is working out good :) i'm gonna be taking pictures of everything now ehehehgh#also forgot to eat these for the 20+ minutes i was playing w/ the pictures#my breakfastttt: (went to go count but i have eaten some now. ouh) ✋10 🤚 christmas cookies :3#they're little ones- oh hey these pretzel one are kinda salty! yaaay#i like the swirly/horseshoe ones the most though. nyum#/we have pozole my mom made last night but i think that has to be warmed up hfhsvh#we got back from christmas midnight mass and everyone- Everyone (crazy) went to bed as soon as we got home lmfhvshg#i don't think that's ever happened. usually a couple are still awake until dawn and Then they go to sleep lol#yea but we didn't even get to try to the pozole last night <//3 helped to strain it last night though :D it smelled kinda sweet+spicy so ou#//we're waiting til i think friday or saturday for presents this year because of the Events so noo wrapping cleaning today 🎉💥 kfsvh#and i've been asked what i wanted. see i don't have that trouble of suddenly not having a want in the world: i just kinda don't have that#already for some reason lmao ?? so yea default state. do you think i'll get socks kfshvfh#//do love having to go back into my tags and add the topic slash bc every topic is related All the time Forever lmfsh#//hey but i DO need socks HEY i'm not joking anymore. don't want any with patterns though they will bother me lol#cuz unless i like the patterns i am not going to wear them :/ that is unless i think they're silly then they pass#are they holiday-themed? i'll prolly still wear them during the fourth of july so we can guarantee 1 whole day of use lhfshvjg#however during the warmer days (anything above 55 degrees) i wear chanclas w/o socks. so maybe not so much guaranteed#and also if i can't find it's match i will just never wear it again. truly tragic#i'm painstakingly matching my plain white socks i can Not handle patterned socks again#/wait was this post about cookies. dude how did we get here Lmfjvskfhvahfhvj#//Okay i'm gonna ummm#Ummmmmmmm#uuuuhm. draw :3 Toodles !! merry christmas !! <3
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I really forgot just how miserable I was here huh
#like damn howd i put up with this for 20 years without ending up on the news#im not miserable now i really am glad to be visiting. its a lot more bearable when its temporary#i dont think ive slept more than 2 hours at a time since ive been here and idk if its just jetlag#or if its me being so on edge which. that is always going to be a given when im here#and i really really wish i had a door that locked bc im sleeping w my back to the wall again bc i feel like someones in here with me#AGAIN </3#but the guest room only has a curtain so thats wonderful thats lovely#whatever. i do think im just extremely sleep deprived so its just making all of the problems i already had Worse#at least my puppy is here and i can cuddle her. and im going do do the FUNNIEST thing to wrap my brothers present.#im so excited its been so long since ive been a little shithead to my siblings#time honored tradition <3#i just might have literal bags under my eyes when i get back home. whatever.#winter speaks#personal#idk idk idk just thinking about how different it is being back here when i dont live here anymore.#when i have somewhere else i can go and when im more centered in who i am vs who they wanted me to be.#kinda wild. whatever goodnight im gonna try and sleep a little bc my old boss might call me in tomorrow#and he pays me like hes an old dying king trying to hand out his life savings so. hell yea brotherrrrrrrr
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