#but danny is literally just the biggest dork in the world

[msnihilist]

I'm not super involved in the Nicktoons Unite fandom, but I have been combing through fics and I'm already tried of Danny being portrayed as the big brother/second smartest one instead of what he actually is: a fucking idiot.

[ofthecaravel]

is anyone else seeing this vision. hello

[davidmann95]

Finally, Crisis on Infinite Earths?

Let’s dispense with any pretense right up front: CW’s Crisis on Infinite Earths is thoroughly dopey, punishingly cheap, and unselfconciously corny in the most heavy-handed ways. It is also, similarly in the spirit of wanting to be direct, probably my favorite live-action DC thing other than The Dark Knight. It’s pure, uncut, unapologetic dork superhero joy injected right into the jugular, every single ambition that a primetime network television soap/procedural/mini-MCU homunculus adaptation of the biggest comic book event of all time could have ever conceivably achieved and far beyond. Not in question that I substantially prefer it to the source material, and it’s if nothing else worth regarding as the singular achievement that it is and will remain: when the movies get around to a Crisis someday, the shared ongoing TV/cinematic universe paradigm means there aren’t going to be fistfuls of actors from past interpretations to draw from the way this could for much longer. This was in all likelihood the one shot to do this in the way everyone wanted it to be done, and it held together.

Not that much in the way of deep analysis to offer, and I already discussed the first three episodes, so let’s just get into it:

* Malthus! Low on the totem pole of shock DCU minutia, but I was mighty pleased.

* Not nor have I ever been much of a shipper, but “Do you trust me?” “With every cell in my body.” is the gayest thing I have ever seen, my lord.

* Literally everything with Lex in here is solid shining gold.

* For all the elements I had assumed were givens that didn’t happen - not that I was bothered by much of it other than I really do wish Danny Trejo had been here - Ezra Miller putting his money where his mouth is was in my dang joke category of stuff that was obviously never going to happen. What an absolute delight, and moreover I had thought in the first place “This scene really feels deliberately structured such that it would fit as a scene in the Flash movie, especially given this is where this version has the idea for the name? But that seems so unlikely!” and then Guggenheim confirmed that the CEO of WB specifically asked for that scene to be included, so I guess the Flash movie is going to be a covert sequel/companion piece to the friggin’ CW Crisis! Even if Gustin’s possibly only in the one bit though, I do hope this means Tom Cavanaghhas at least a cameo.

* The killer dumb as hell line aside, Oliver vs. the Anti-Monitor was conspicuously the best special effect in the whole thing, they clearly blew a lot of the budget on that.

* Wolfman got to be the one to tell them the Earths had been merged! And kudos to him co-writing the Arrow episode, which was probably the best of the lot from a pure storytelling/dramatic standpoint; when I say this was leaps and bounds better than the original Crisis, that’s not a knock on him.

* BEEBO. And Sargon the Sorcerer! But BEEBO. Hopefully him appearing at the height of all this and being a thing the non-Legends have to deal with is a sign of the weirdness continuing to be upped across the board.

* The final plan to defeat the Anti-Monitor is the most beautiful Silver Age nonsense, to the point that I’m fine with the last battle basically being in a Vancouver back alley the way I’d said they’d written themselves out of being able to do a year ago. And while there’s an argument to be made that from an in-universe perspective it should have been Flash to deal the final blow given this has been built up on his show since day one, it feels right that Supergirl as his biggest classic casualty scored the win. Either way, the idea of a teeny-tiny Anti-Monitor bein’ all grumpy in the Microverse for all eternity is a delight. Apparently some complained that he was a boring stock villain in this, but folks, I got some bad news about what they’re drawing from.

* Heat Wave is living his best life and we should all be so blessed.

* Given his backseat role as essentially the most important of the non-central characters, all I was truly rooting for with Hoechlin’s Superman in terms of strutting his super-stuff was getting one good hit in against the Anti-Monitor, and then it turned out he was one of the only three (or four if you count Oliver) who did out of the 50+ or so superheroes in total here, so I was a happy camper. And itty-bitty Superman was funny right away, but even funnier when I realized that was basically making Hoechlin an Atom to go with Routh’s Superman. Can’t wait for the show.

* I assume that as I’ve seen others suggest Earth-12 is meant to be the HBO Green Lantern series and they simply used the related footage they had available, but that movie of all movies therefore getting a shout-out in here is both hysterical and somehow perfect: everything has its place.

* Routh lives, in what might be a brighter rewritten timeline! This could easily be his sendoff and it’d be a perfect one, but I’d of course be more than pleased for him to fill a Kal-L role in Superman & Lois.

* “The first of our heroes”? Did Green Arrow precede Superman, which would be a change in at least one of their timelines? Wasn’t Black Lightning a hero awhile back? Or is this just in the sense of him being the first public human hero? The real answer is that it’s an acknowledgment of his real-world role as the guy who kicked all this off and the logistics don’t matter.

* Justice League! Justice League! Justice League!

* Wonder what the next crossover’s going to be? Easy answers would be something with Superman in the lead now that he’ll be fully in the fold (I understand the 90s crossover Panic in the Sky! was meant for much the same purpose of positioning him as a leader in-universe), or a Dark Nights: Metal adaptation with Batwoman center stage, but the producers have been adamant that the next entry will be something smaller. Maybe a set of mini-crossovers of two or three shows in blocks, or a subplot building across multiple shows that culminates in one or two big episodes with the League banding together. I’d love for their first adventure as a formal team to be fighting Starro (he could emerge as a Lovecraftian threat ala how Morrison treated him in JLA, only for J’onn to link them up to his mind and he turns out to be the hilarious doofus bully from Metal, but the first big crossover was already an alien invasion that involved a bunch of superheroes being mind-controlled, so there is the concern that it could come off as redundant. I’m still in favor of it though, as it could get us a live-action Jarro.

So there we go, there was a live-action Crisis on Infinite Earths. Whereas its source was dopey junk food in service of tearing down a lot of cool stuff, this was dopey junk food in service of delivering and setting up more cool stuff to come, so I’ll stand by this being the better of the two. What a start to the decade; I grew up with 2020 as The Year Of The Future in the same way I know many did with 2000, and nothing could be more of a signifier that we live in a changed world as far as superheroes’ place in mass-media from when I was a kid than this.

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 5 - Lancelot<3

- YES BBG’s IT'S MY BOY LANCE

- he’s one of my fav characters u guys don't even KNOW

- like yah okay, i've only seen hiM FOR ONE EPISODE

- but he’s the light of my life

- and he may not even come back but he looks like a character that would come back especially if the fucking ep is named after him

-  oh damn, i sure hope he does

- and goes into arthurs posse of knights or whatever, replacing val

- or what valerie was gonna be

- idek, lets get to it bc i could go on for days just picturing lance as a main character while continuously expressing my love for him

- BUT NOTHING ELSE OBVIOUSLY BC THIS IS NOW A CATHOLIC WEBSITE

- tumblrs trynna urge me to go with them nasty thoughts

- you wish tumblr

- you WISH you can ban me

- u can't live without sucking dick >:(

- wow slow down shev... wow okay sorry. christianism. i forgot

- it got the best of me

- back to the episode!

- omg it's buckbeak why he making a cameo in merlin??

- my inner potterhead(uwu) is coming out i hate this

- bet you can't guess which house i'm in ;)

- it's fucking slytherin, it's literally so obvious

- hissshiss motherfuckers

- ew guys

- this is so hard to type considering my fucking ‘-’ button (called a dash for u furries who only see a face) is broken and i have to literally smash it to make it work, so i'm just insanely typing up the next dash by screaming at my keyboard that i can't fucking fix

- and i have so many dasHES TO DO!

- that made no sense bc yall aren't living in my socks at the moment

- BUT I'M DYING IT'S SO HARD TO JUST GET IT TO PRESS

- fuck it copy paste, my best friend, you always come when the time is needed

- LANCELOT LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL

- lowkey looked like that guy from the 100 though

- but better

- nothing against baloney of course

- lancelot literally just introduced himself, the camera panned in onto his chest, then he proceeded to faint or some shit with the camera still zoomed on his chest, and merlin reached up to grab his shirt, probably to yank it the fuck off and the opening credits rolled up. wtf was that scene.

- WAIT I REWINDED IT

- it's not supposed to be a zoom in of his chest lmao, my hoe ass thought we had a little fanservice for a second, but there's a big mushroom-looking blood stain on his shirt which i guess is supposed to mean he's fucking dead so it's not all that confusing anymore

- when was he stabbed tho?

- whatever. shit always goes down in BBC that's often unexplainable.

- “it had claws, wings…” arthur stops his sentence melodramatically while uther looks terrified. “and.. what?” WHAT UTHER?? WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?? YOU THINK ARTHURS  GONNA BE LIKE “FANGS, STEVE BUSCEMI'S EYEBALLS, DANNY DEVITO’S HAIRLINE, TALKS LIKE JOHN MULANEY?? I JUST TOLD YOU WHAT I SAW, NOT WHAT I IMAGINED. FATHER”

- but no… livestock apparently

- that’s what uthers shocked by

- not that theres a fucking griffin living in his world

- wait theres magic, means theres magic creatures doy

- but still, even if we all had magic here, i think it would be a little shocking seeing a griffin come for buckingham palace randomly

- or i guess if youre reading this and are in america, in the white house

- oh and it took only people apparently

- i guess that’s a little more severe but i stand uncorrected

- they be having a wild time in the hippogriff’s house ;)

- honestly sounds like a fucked up hogawart house

- here we have slytherin, hufflepuff, ravenclaw and... *looks at smudged writing on hand* hippogriff

- okay, who tf has a dream of coming to camelot when it's the most feared place, with banned magic and an asshole king with his hot bitchy son and a sorcerer who just brings chaos to the land

- well i mean, me 

- bc of the hot bitchy son but whatever

- camelot? more like cameNOT

- arthur calls himself the ultimate killing machine like the edge lord he is

- ARTHUR FUCKING KO’D THE BITCH

- knee to the nose and all wtf man

- this is probably foreshadowing smth with the “only noble blood can swoosh like a knight” thing, like somethings gonna happen and poor people are gonna revolt and uthers gonna be like “GEEZ fine, okay, no nobles can become a knight”

- merlins such a shit stirer, telling lance he can be a knight and telling him arthur would love him when we really know whats gonna happen bc of that rule

- and here’s gaius like uhh u liar wtf, crushing lance’s dreams while merlins just like wtf gaius, live in the moment, we can do anything, this is OUR show

- literally their such good friends and have known each other for a solid 10 minutes only

- i'm not that big into beards but id love to rub my face on lance’s

- HOMEWORK IS MERLIN’S EXCUSE, MERLIN UR LIKE 20 IN A WORLD PROB WITHOUT HOMEWORK

- haha little fault there, or like a minor inconvenience which isn’t important but i like to pretend to be smart: middle ages or well the show’s era was more in “AD” (476-ish is the start of middle ages, while the arthurian legend is supposed to happen in the 5/6th century so yeah, technically 400/500 AD), and homework supposedly only started up in 1095 so BOOM BBC GOTCHA

- no, merlin’s not gonna perform magic right in front of the librarian

- does he not know the wrath of librarians???

- our librarian at school literally kicked everyone out of the library once for the whole semester because there was an apple core on the bookshelf. this was during exam week. do u know how much i wanted to kill the person who didn't admit to their mistakes and let everyone suffer. WE COULDN'T ENTER TO EVEN STUDY

- OH GOD, HE'S DOING IT MERLIN IS A FUCKING MESS

- gwen and lancelot are my favourite thing, i literally want them to be together by the next episode

- or the next one with lance

- WAIT LANCELOT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A MAIN CHARACTER ISN'T HE BC I KNOW VAGUELY THE ARTHURIAN LEGEND AND LANCELOT WAS A KNIGHT WASN'T HE???? HE WAS A FUCKING KNIGHT AND ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT NEXT TO LIKE IDK BEDEVERE OR SMTH THIS IS AMAZING NEWS GUYS I LITERALLY COULD BE A DETECTIVE

- !!!! the only heto ship on this show i actually adore !!!!!!

- i mean i only love two things: merthur and glance

- idek what gwen and lance’s ship name is so its now glance

- merlin would be the best wingman for them by being gwens bestie

- “you can start by cleaning out the stables” *lance looks to merlin while merlin gives him the biggest smile and thumbs up* this fuckING DORK

- harry potter au where everything is the same but that grim reaper looking human creature in the prisoner of azkaban executing buckbeak is actually lancelot in the future 

- for symbolism purpose, not saying lance is like an animal killer but yknow

- same thing with the griffin yknow

- the two prettiest dudes in my world fighting against one another while sweat is glistening down their forheads is my new favourite aesthetic

- BUCKBEAK HAS COME

- oh wait no, people having been attacked by buckbeak have come

- netflix fucked up by subbing arthur as “orther” and i never laughed so hard

- don’t make me fucking laugh when there’s an ambush, netflix, this is not christian

- annd arthur’s pride is gone, and he goes up to chop lance’s fucking head off

- OH SHIT THAT TRANSITION THOUGH

- i'm so proud of my bb like genuinely so proud, lance deserves so much and here is is!! a knight!!

- MORGANA APPEARS THE LOML

- the three lomls in one room?? seriously bbc?? you really doing that to me?? for once im actually impressed and happy

- he's gonna get caught, i mean i KNOW that, but like it's still stressing out

- ewewewewewewewewewew

- arthur called morgana “isn't she so beautiful??” with a lovey dovey face pls don't lead this to that stepsibling porn bullshit i'm going to fucking puke

- i hated that shadowhunter bullshit like they seriously going to hit me with the indirect incest?? i was so done. i hated jace and clary, idc if theyre like the most popular couple, like wheres my raphael lovers at bc that's a boy i can enjoy

- “so if you could choose one... lance or arthur?” merlin subtly asks gwen like he doesn't have an answer himself

- it would have been so perfect geez, gwen and lance, merlin and arthur, myself and morgana

- i really wanna know what lance, merlin and arthur look like drunk bc that's a hell of a hangover they got the next morning and they probably cut out most of the soiree so like what did they do?? was there any drunk dancing and flirting??? bc i literally want to see that happen

- ik it's a bad thing but those drunk tropes where someone confesses their love to the person they like while under the influence is my favourite thing bc it's both hilarious, genuine and the other person often helps them to their feet and gets them to a safer place to rest and that's fricken adorable guys!

- not the drinking obviously, thats like a thing you can enjoy if you want but ya girl does not like drinking. or, well, she likes drinking with a limit. you can tell who likes to be the designated driver lmao. people here be drinking flat out whiskey and i tried it once and it burned by fucking throat

- merlin fucked up

- and this is technically his fault

- THEY GOT CAUGHT LMAO IT IS HIS FAULT

- hungover and caught this won't bode well

- “not worthy of a knighthood”

- hey so how do you retract a knighthood?

- do you like reverse the shoulder tapping

- like if you're christian, bc you know, we, as a christian group on this tumblr site, should already know about it... but when we do that cross thing on our shoulders, it means like a direct call with god or some shit. and if we do it the opposite direction it's considered the antichrist so is it the same for knighthood?

- OMG I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANy

- okay with christianity it's tapping the head the stomach, shoulder then shoulder, right? but the reverse is the anti cross like shoulder to shoulder, stomach and head. but… what if it were tapping the stomach, crotch, hip to hip? it would make sense right??? since the cross is upside down… it would lead to the dick and not the head. THAT'S WHY IT'S AN UPSIDE DOWN CROSS. BC YOU AINT SUPPOSED TO GRAB THEM BALLS UNTIL MARRIAGE!!! I SEE OMG I SEE YOU JESUS, TRYNNA HIDE UR FLOURISHING SEXUALITY

- omg guys, don't grab ur fucking balls in this blog post, it's considered the antichrist

- “you never will be” lmao he's gonna come back, he's lancelot, that's a main in the og legend

-  how pissed will lance be with merlin

- i hope big time bc like... angry lance *dries off sweat with hands*

- aw damn lance isn't mad he's like “this is my punishment. mine to bare, mine to bare alone. stop blaming urself. i put this on me” this fucking goof is making me swoon once fucking more

- NOW BUCKBEAKS BACK

- he's a real goat x3

- buckbeak can literally fuck shit up in the air, camelot has nothing on him

- ARTHURS FUCKING DEAD LMAO

- oh wait he aint, just a few of his knights

- imagine being an extra and playing as one of those knights. having to fight next to bradley james, and have him look at you when someones doing something stupid like you can mentally agree with him and then pretend to die on camera. that would be my dream. make-a-wish better do me some good when i get diseased that will prob be named after me

- hoephagus

- stupidolis

- nah thats stupid

- ;)

- i now understand mulans will to pretend to be a guy and join the army bc i would literally do that if i could stay with arthur fucking pendragon

-  aw it's called a griffin not a hippogriff

- i'm saddened

- harry potter has taught me WRONG

- this looks to be the climax where merlins like “fine guys, geez, i'll kill the griffin bc i'm magic!! wow!!! but arthur obviously knew, and i thought gwen was gonna know but she shocked me even more when she didn’t like fucking hell everyones oblivious. but since you can only kill buckbeak with magic, sigh, i'm exposing myself ig” even if it's like halfway through season 1 with 5 seasons altogether, this looks to be the right time

- this really sounds to be what we are waiting for, what kilgarah said about the destiny merlin will have

- WAIT WE HAVEN'T SEE THAT BITCH IN A WHILE

- wheres the dickwad gone lmao like was the actor busy the last few episodes or what?

- OMG ARHTURS BREAKING LANCE OUT OF PRISON SO HE CAN BE A KNIGHT

- how is the “arthurs pretty gay” theory not popped up more times on here

- like we all know merthurs pretty great and all

- but CANON wise arthur seems super gay to me

- like he just told lance to get up his ass because “i need… uhh... camelot needs” like he was just about to say he needs lance in his life

- have you not seen the glances??

- fucking hell

- arthur slowly comes closer to lance pretending to talk about what he knows about the creature

- lance also coming closer to ask if he truly believes that, with a raised eyebrow

- thought this shit was only in books and fanfics

- but no guys, we got a gay eyebrow raise

- bc we all know only the gays are capable of eyebrow raises

- fucking hell this is gay i cant even explain it

- like its subtly gay, but out of context youd think this is something out of a fansite

- and merlins not even in this scene

- “take the horse and never return to this place” OKAY NO FIRST OF ALL SECOND OF ALL FUCK OFF LMAO THIS ISNT GAY ANYMORE

- i mean he’s doing it out of the goodness of his heart, saving him from prison and all but lance wants to like…  be a good man and you aint letting him do that

- OMG LANCE IS SAYING GOODBYE TO GWEN

- LANCE BETTER FUCKING KISS HER

- I LOVE GWEN AND LANCE TOGETHER #STAN

- fucking kiss you fucking bafoon

- THEY DIDN'T FUCKING KISS WTFUCKINGFUCK

- merlin looks so dumb holding his dagger as if he doesn’t know what to do with it but i love that for me

- WAIT I THOUGHT LANCELOT WAS LITERALLY GONNA GO YEET OUT OF CAMELOT NOT TO FUCKING SACRIFICE HIMSELF AND FIGHT THE GRIFFIN

- bafoons, all of them

- big bouncing bucking bafoons

- arthur looks so scared i've never been so in love and want to PROTECT

- omg for all merlin and lance know, that scream was arthur fucking dying- OMG IT WAS ARTHUR

- HE'S FUCKAN DEAD

- nvm he's alive but like yall not think to check for some arterial wounds bc he could be alive now, but in 5 mins he could legit not make it

- slow music means death

- lancelot you were the best husband i've ever had, rip

- i would be crying more if i didn’t know what happened, but since i already spoiled myself on the first season by watching this about a year ago, i'm not that sad but its still getting to me slightly

- hahahaha so happy everyones okayyy

- ARTHUR AND LANCE TiME!

- arthur looks so happy for lance literally crack ship right there

- why does nobody talk about this wyd

- and here’s arthur defending lance’s honour

- but uthers being a bitch

- omg that transition from lance being told to wait outside, the camera following him out of the room and the doors slamming behind him just in time to hear uther yell at arthur from next door is what gives me chills

- uther better fucking accept lance

- “the law is the law” yeah but the law also says to stop being a stuck-up bitch, uther

- literally lance is the only fucking person to not see through merlins blatant magic tricks

- like he saw that shit, called it out and was not like “oh what its a trick of the wind, surely”

- and he's not fazed at all, u see merlin it aint that bad to tell some people

- the only thing he is worrying about is the credit he says he doesn’t deserve bc merlin killed the griffin and not him

- see how fucking great my husband is, guys

- he better not be like “sucks to suck, i lied again! it aint me, chief” to uther and arthur

- NAH OKAY HE’S JUST BIDDING HIS FAREWELL IM GONNA FUCKING CRY IN THE CLUB

- he better fucking come back soon >:(

- seasonal guest star at least

- main characters, big bonus

- we barely saw morgana this episode and i'm not okay with that, but at the same time it was more lance-centric so i'm aight actually. we got all the time in the world for my baby girl, but lance :’( good luck man

- literally everyone is so gay for lance

- gwens into him for sure, and i love that the most (guess thats not gay but whatever, beggars can't be choosers)

- arthur has a little crush ngl

- and merlins full out in love with him

- not to mention MY FUCKING SELF

- i mean, i won't deny that he’s literally perfect in every way and i've only known him for one episode, but i agree whole heatedly with these crushes

- “till next time, sir lancelot” merlin whispers with a smile

- yeah that's me right there

- BC I'LL BE SEEING HIM IN THE FINAL EPISODE OF THIS SEASON!

- greeting us all with the news on being cast full-time for the show, being the best guard around and a lover boy to all

- guys i feel like i'm on aphrodisiacs but instead of desire for sex, it's love for lancelot

- send help

[kellykadesperate]

one of the great things to take away from this sl is the many wonderful, expressive faces of ryan hawley. god bless his face

HOLLLAAAA NONNIE,

HARD SAME.

like i honestly feel like despite ryan being #glum because he wasn’t working with danny a lot, he genuinely lived for being a bit of a dork with facial expressions because like they are the absolute best in the world.

and it’s why i love him as an actor so much because he is just SO VERSATILE. he can make you laugh one minute and then scare the shit out of you the next with a death glare and it’s just all in the facial expressions.

today’s expressions where just hilarious like, the biggest heart eyes?? biting his lip??? fluttering his lashes?? with lawrence and then literally like EXCUSE ME LUCKY NOT VERY LUCKY LACHLAN WHITE BUT HOW DARE U EVEN TRY TO THINK ABOUT ME SEDUCING YOUR GRANDFATHER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE KITCHEN AT THIS TIME OF DAY. YOU MUST BE SICK, ARE U SICK? YES UR SICK BECAUSE IT MAKES ZERO SENSE FOR A PERSONALLY SANE PERSON TO REMOTELY LINK ME STANDING INCHES AWAY FROM UR GRANDAD WITH MY EYES TOWARDS HIS LIPS TO ME ATTEMPTING TO WOO HIM INTO BED AND THUS AWARDING ME WITH HOME FARM TO FILL THE EMPTY SHELL OF MY HEART AND TO HAVE AS MY OWN TO REMINISCE ABOUT #HOME FARM AFFAIR WEEK,,, LIKE SERIOUSLY BOY. GET MUMMY TO BOOK YOU A CHECK UP OKAY? XOXO.

all of that, in a single look!!!

urgh i just love him and yes his amazing comedic flair has saved this absolute mess of a storyline tbh.

💗💖

[cajunroe]

big short anon here again . might i please chat with you about porter/danny and/or jamie/charlie because you are the only human being i know of that i actually CAN talk to about them. :)  — Anonymous

Okay I was gonna answer this yesterday and then got swept up in some fuckery but now I have TIME and I’m going to say a few things.

Look, I have the biggest and best-known narrative boner for ships that are basically competitive assholes whose bond is forged in the fire of the most high-stakes atmospheres imaginable and both of these ships definitely qualify, but like, in totally different ways? But god, I am consumed with Jamie/Charlie thoughts lately because they’re just so goddamn sweet. Like, as sweet as a ship like that could be. Good boys who want to be assholes and are trying their best but still really like each other and have each other’s backs, ugh. I have all these feelings about Charlie harboring this secret crush on Jamie for months that he thinks is totally hidden and he thinks he’s being so suave, and it actually completely shocks him when Jamie kisses him during a time of great stress and pressure? Because, uh? He didn’t know he was being so obviously? But oh my god it’s Jamie and he’s so tall and smart and looks like Superman and anyway he’s going to give himself permission to give into this because, uh, it’s good, it’s very good, he can love this and let this happen.

And on the other end of the spectrum – god, my kingdom for finance bros in love Porter/Danny, Danny with his cockeyed optimism and obsession with trying new restaurants and ability to get under Porter’s skin and keep him from being too cynical all the time, and Porter hates that Danny has that gift but also it’s kind of nice to not be so angry and guarded and snarky all the time, it’s nice to have someone go out of his way to make him laugh and make him do new things. God, I’m sorry, it’s just – it’s canon, they went on a date at the end! They found love in a hopeless place! Anyway they have a house upstate now and a massive Great Dane loping around their big Duane Street luxury high-rise and they push each other to be better and more competitive and make each other better in private and it’s just. It’s my favorite dynamic. Uggghhhh.

@lizdexia Well, your Insurance series literally gave me life so I understand and 100% respect your boner.

YES. I can’t help but think of Jamie being entirely oblivious to just how attractive and charming he can be. Where Charlie is all nerves and skittishness, Jamie is calm and content. Even though they both want the money, power, and glory (p.s. uhm that is the song for any ship in this damn movie) they want each other more. Not entirely in a romantic or sexual sense, but they’ve grown so accustomed having the other around and knowing that they’re always in this, together, it’s nearly impossible for either of them to think of the other not being there. 

Also, yes “good boys who want to be assholes,” who become good boy assholes. They’re assholes to those who deserve it and have had it coming. They witnessed, first hand, what tacit approval and blind corruption can do. It nearly broke the world. After their big short, their done with that...sort of. So rather than manipulate the manipulated, they manipulate the manipulators. Like they’re not only becoming more incredible traders and investors, but they’re becoming greater, maybe even better than Mark Baum, at finding the massive amounts of bullshit on Wall Street. But for them the most important thing is that they’re doing it together. I feel like it’s an ‘everyone knows but them’ type thing. They’re both pining so hard and neither of them sees it. But it’s good because they’re good and they’re on a winning streak and are working too much to even notice anything besides the endless numbers on endless pages.  

Until one day, a really “up shit’s creek without a paddle” day, they lose and they lose big. It won’t kill them, hell, after their biggest trade, it won’t even make a dent, but it hurts. It always hurts to lose, but this time they lost to the bastards that have been swindling innocent people for years. Their loss is incomparable to the thousands that will lose their jobs, homes, families, and whatever else the heartless pieces of shit on Wall Street decide to take. When it’s done, they’re apart from one another for the longest time since they moved all the ratty, comfortable furniture into the small and stuffy garage, Jamie’s chocolate lab he’s only confidant. Jamie eventually convinces himself that they can’t let their first setback, not matter how large, stop them. He goes to Charlie, not only because he needs to just be with him, to make sure he’s okay, but because Charlie is the only one that knows. He’s always known exactly what to say, exactly what to do. 

Jamie’s almost always felt something more than friendship since Charlie first offered to help Jamie “diversify his portfolio.” Jamie thought the excitable guy was trying to hit on him so he’d said yes, but when Charlie got into dividends and return rates, he realized the cute dork, touching his glasses too much, was serious. The rest is history, Jamie’s always felt something for Charlie, but there was always something, too much work, too much risk, too many other people in their lives. But now? Now it was just them. No interference, no numbers, no work. Just them. Jamie realizes he hasn’t truly been with Charlie, alone, for a very long time. It’s easier to ignore repressed feelings when their lives revolve around work, but now their lives are revolving around one another’s despair and Jamie has nowhere to hide anymore.

Neither does Charlie. 

But unlike Jamie, Charlie doesn’t repress. No anything he’s ever felt has been at the forefront of his thoughts since he was born. Of all the emotions he feels three the most: anger, excitement, and love. Right now all three are rushing through his veins and consuming him. He’s angry for losing, for all the bastards that get a nice payday while people loses their lives because he made a mistake, moved too quickly, didn’t sell at the right time. He’s excited because it’s been three days and he’s finally able to lay eyes on Jamie. He’s angry that he’s excited. Above all else, he feels a rush of unadulterated love for Jamie because he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t try to pry or bring Charlie out of the shell he recedes into whenever he feels like a failure. Jamie just drops a greasy pizza and cold six pack on the floor and they eat and drink in comfortable silence until Charlie starts talking. He doesn’t stop, going on and on about corruption and pressure and concepts of time and eventually works himself into, what Jamie know will be a horrible panic attack. And Jamie…he’s tired and emotional drained and he just wanted regular Charlie, not existential Charlie. He’s also had more than his fair share of the six pack, Charlie never really had a taste for beer, so he’s not functioning at his regular level. By the time the idea is fully formed in his head Jamie already has his fingers curling against the back of Charlie’s hair, thumbs caressing the high cheekbones. He enjoys the shock and stammering from Charlie for half a moment before pressing his lips gently against his best friend’s. He expects so many things, anger, rejection, or even ridicule. After pining for Charlie for so long Jamie just savors and commits to memory every single sensation he can. The last, very last thing he expected was for Charlie to push him against the wall and kiss back with a fervor and heat that could rival any fire. When they finally pull apart, lips bruised and bright red, they’re wearing matching smiles. Charlie steps back and holds out his hand as he gestures, not to the bedroom, but to his office. Their work wasn’t done, was never done, but they were going to do what they did best and they were going to do it, together. 

YEAH uhm this got away from me on my lunch break but I just have SO MUCH to say about them and Porter/Danny and my coworkers think I’m weird because I was giggling and smiling because these two are so cute and sweet, but still angry and vicious in the chaotic good way they always are.

LASTLY, please don’t get me started on fucking Uncle Ben who, when they tell him they’re together, talks about chakras and getting them “seeds for their garden,” before berating them about the financial and spiritual value of composting.

AND very lastly, should we discuss Danny/Porter now because they need their own discussion :D