#i want to feel and grab them all over

[thesaturdayb0y]

.

[maya-caffrey]

can we bring back procedurals? or at least just proper shows like how TV used to be? 5 to 15 seasons, a generous amount of episodes per season, 45 minutes: the sweet spot between too long and too short, pilot episodes that are wildly different from the rest of the show, filler episodes that overall contribute nothing but are extremely fun because that is what god intended, random musical episode, crossovers, waiting an entire week in anticipation to see what happens next, like, this was the PEAK of television, where did we go wrong

[yea-baiyi]

YALL. everyone go watch story of kunning palace i swear it’s worth it im still riding an insane high after i finished it last night.

it’s a very good solid drama for 30 episodes kinda slow burn but well written with good characters and decent plots.

and then in the last 8 episodes, the guy’s sidekick tells him “maybe you should show her how you really feel. show her the real you” and he proceeds to go batshit feral insane. which after watching her pine after and then reject the most morally upright guy ever it fucking WORKS ON HER because she is ALSO insane!!

after that it’s just 8 episodes of him being sloppy desperate for her and begging her to give him an answer while she’s just there buffering because she has to readjust her whole worldview with this news that he’s liked her all along?? she went out to meet her former crush and when she got home he sat her down and made her eat a dinner he made. that was drowning in vinegar. because if he had to drink vinegar then SO SHOULD SHE. and after she doesn’t eat much at dinner he plops down a tray of her favourite cake. that he had given her before earlier in the drama. announces that he made it with his own hands. and she’s like :0 “you made it for me even back then?? but back then we were only….” and he’s immediately like “only? only what? what were we back then? what about now? is it different now? what are we?” and she’s just like .

[celtrist]

Why does Vassago already have merch, we haven't even met him yet

[valiant-portabella-pirkko]

Alright know what here's a little Guild Wars 2 reblog game for everybody; what mounts (if any) do your characters have in their canon, do they have names? Personalities? How'd they meet??

Spill it all below, tell me about all your creatures!!

[itsjaywalkers]

talking to mil today about iwtywmm jeggy i've come to the conclusion that not only they're that kind of couple who's very annoying about pda but they also have to be touching at All Times

[nobodybetterlookatme]

Okay time for me to 🥰 in the tags real quick lmao

[sysig]

Fight me (Patreon)

[anthromimicry]

alright, but... it seems like i am in a mood for angst this morning because just imagine this: misao meeting someone that reminds her so much of ryu and having all of her childhood memories just rush back to her in one foul swoop despite the fact that she's tried really hard to bury them. because if misao allowed herself to think about them for a second, i have a feeling she would just completely breakdown because misao doesn't even have a picture of him or anything, so she forgot what he looks like and what his voice sounds like. so even if she saw him on the streets of gotham... misao wouldn't even recognize him because it's been so long.

and the fact that she has become like a ' human ' in that aspect somewhat enrages her because misao secretly HATES having to pretend like she is anything but who she is + like i believe i have talked about once but didn't get super deep into talking about, is that she may or may not distrust humans automatically upon meeting them. though this sense has lessened over the years, it is still slightly there due to her mother's death haunting her. and being forced to face her past like this where misao is not prepared for it mentally would be kind of devastating for her, NGL. (but y'all should totally give misao someone who reminds her of ryu anyhow, and i'm not saying that to be evil or anything. i'm just saying it because there has to be some way that she works through her issues eventually and with the way she is now... i don't think that misao would be willing to open up to someone else about them. so something has to act on her externally. )

[samiferboy]

i am not immune to the idea of s1-2 samifer

[activatebutterflyshield]

I’d sing a song for sixpence

Or a pocket full of rye

Or four and twenty blackbirds baked into a pie

Though I wouldn’t eat those fellow birds

Feathers black as ink

‘Stead I’d sing a song ‘longside them

‘Bout wars and words and things

Through code and rhyme and meter

For friends and people keen

To find some others something like them

And keep those they do find

Just thick as thieves

Strange bedfellows we make, indeed

Though through the night we’ve walked

‘Neath that sunless, moonless, starless sky

Till the farthest west we reach

And feel that fire nip at our backs

With words and smiles sweet

Go on, they say, keep walking long

Till that promised land we reach

So give not up your feathered hope

And raise those banners high

Bare your teeth and show your claws

And make them sharp and keen

For someday we shall break our chains

And maul the hand that feeds

[againstme]

i think i'm kind of at a point now where i'm sick of being institutionalized, no matter how cushy of a situation this is.

i think i tend to have this sort of impostor syndrome about it, a back and forth of "oh, well at least i'm not in the psych ward", "at least i get to go outside", to just wishing that i could go home.

and i think both of these things can exist at the same time.

i'm grateful that i haven't been in the psych ward since november instead of where i am. and i am glad i get to go outside. i do like that there's a deck at this house, where i can sit outside and watch the sunrise/sunset, and play my guitar when it's not raining. i'm glad that we get to ride in the van to go to the center where we do group therapy, that there's a courtyard we can sit at in between groups, that i'm able to step outside and get fresh air if i need to.

but at the same time, i want to go home. i don't know where home is. i think my brain is associating "home" with back in santa cruz. at least for now, that's what i think of. it's the place where i've lived in the states the longest, since getting kicked out and flying there from korea when i was freshly 18.

that's what i mean by "home", i guess.

i want to sit in the garage at my friend's family's house. i guess they're my family too, my chosen family. they've been taking care of me since i landed on their doorstep in the middle of august 2019. i had about 300 dollars to my name; that was less than what i started with because i had to pay for my heavy luggage and my flight to san jose from seattle. i can't even remember how i got the money. i think i had saved up some from when i graduated that june.

i didn't have health insurance, i didn't have a bed, i had two suitcases and that was all, basically. i needed an inhaler. i needed a job. someone i knew (a former friend of a friend, that my friend group no longer associates with) introduced me to his mom, who was the manager of a grocery store about a 15 minute walk away. and she got me a job as a cashier.

anyways, the long backstory is something i can get into some other time.

the point is, my family, or at least, what i consider my family, is there. my friends are there. they're the first friend group larger than like 4 people who probably didn't even like me that i've ever had in my life. and they still enjoy having me around, though i tend to go back and forth on believing that.

so, i want to go home. i want to hug my friends, and be with my family. i want to stay up late watching episodes of community or new girl that we've all seen a dozen times, still laughing like it's our first time seeing it.

i want to sit on their kitchen floor, having a mixed drink with cheap vodka and trying to focus my brain while someone goes on a tangent that i can barely follow.

i want to do my obligatory ritual of going into their bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror, not even a bit sober, take a selfie, then grip my hands on the sink, staring at my reflection.

this isn't your classic "drunk at a party, stare at yourself in the mirror and think about how your life is falling apart" moment.

this is a moment of joy. of ecstasy, though you'd never take the drug. the alcohol warms your chest, but so does the feeling of connection.

it's also the feeling of safety. of understanding. of caring for another. sitting someone down on the couch when they're too high, giving them a blanket and a pillow. being stupid and not telling your friends you were on acid until hours deep into your trip, startled at first when so many of them said so many variations of "dude, you have to let people know when you're tripping", but later understanding that they just wanted to take care of you. the late nights at one of their parties where you and a friend snuck out to the backyard table, sharing a joint and talking about music, a sliver of light being cast by a warm deck lamp.

catching your friend in your arms as they suddenly pass out after stumbling inside to recover from a fall in the bathroom, shielding them from almost hitting their head on the bathtub. your friend rushing over to help as they came to, hoisting them up and over to the couch. freezing instinctively as they had a seizure, because you had never seen one before, then having your hands out, wanting to cradle them as they had another.

being so lucky to have another friend that's an EMT, coming in and taking them in her car as they both went to the hospital.

having everyone gathered around out on the front porch, solo cups in hand, being forcibly shocked into sobriety, beady eyes looking around at each other.

hearing someone say "anyone need a cigarette?" and hearing a chorus of "yes, thank god," around you. you don't smoke anymore, because it makes you sick, but you did smoke that night. and poured yourself a drink, mostly vodka, with just a splash of ginger beer.

finding yourself staring in the mirror again, white knuckling the sink. looking over at the tile floor, suddenly feeling the weight of your friend's slumped body in your arms as you both fell to the floor. thinking of how they narrowly missed the corner of the bathtub. your heart is still racing.

you think of all of the events that lead you up to being in that moment. of being there to catch them in your arms. of having that gut feeling of "no, i don't think i'm gonna let them go to the bathroom alone." and being grateful you trusted your gut. things could've been way worse. you don't want to think about that.

i think it's situations like those where i feel like, even though it's kind of fucked up, so many pieces had to fall into just the right place in order for that to play out the way that it did.

and it all started with that connection. with that sense of community, that sense of belonging, that feeling of wanting to protect the ones you love. and knowing that you love them in the first place.

i want to be a part of that again.

[kerorowhump]

[merevide]

thinking. about a lottienat the little mermaid au.

[rosicheeks]

i do not know if i ever sent this to you. i have posted it. i hope you like it Princess.

[crj-200]

nightmare low blood sugar situation neutralized