#i want to cry but literally can’t
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i’ll be so honest with y’all i am most definitely not feeling very cash money right now ✌️😎
#i’ve missed 3 days of work because i can barely get out of bed#all i’ve done is sleep or dissociate or play games#i want to cry but literally can’t#so i just exist in sadness instead#grief sucks#and i know it’s been a few months but nobody told me how hard the winter would be#especially because this time of year is already so hard#i don’t think i realized until now just how much she helped me around christmas#and now she’s gone#tw dissociation
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How… Do I recover from this…?
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#bnha dabi#mha dabi#bnha season 7#mha season 7#i’m just… after the episode my mind went blank completely… and then i started sobbing… because what the fuck…#i feel even more heartbroken than i already did and literally can’t stop crying…#bruh i can’t… i’m completely shattered… i couldn’t take screenshots without stopping for few moments to cry over dabi…#he has suffered so much… endured so much… i feel sick to my stomach omfg…#and some of y’all want me to change my mind about endeavor??? HELL NAH I NOW HATE HIM EVEN MORE ACTUALLY#so congrats to all of you that wanted dabi fans to be more understanding toward the walking garbage: it didn’t work#and never will. he needs and deserves to rot in fucking hell
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just finished malevolent relisten. needless to say the obsession has been rekindled tenfold its previous magnitude
#im so fucking isnane about this podcast#ok notable reactions:#john.. Oh my god. It’s so insane to go back and hear how much he’s changed in the way he talks and reasons and treats arthur#i love you john doe malevolent#fav trans allegory ever!!!!!#definitely relate to him a normal amount (liar voice)#and then. S2. I really need to make that animatic with lonesome dreams#godddd i forgot how painful the ep18 divorce was#and then!!!! the canna mentions helping noel escape!!! completely forgot about that part#s3. oh my god. absolute fav season. soooo many crazy moments.#like coda??? “You want him back.” “I want him safe.” You want him baaack.” “I want him back”#KAYNE I FUCKING HATE THAT RAT BASTARD.NEED TO BASH HIS HEAD IN WITH A ROCK BUT HES A FREAK AND HED ENJOY IT SO I CANT#piece od shit#and then 23/24??????? arthur’s happy cry-laugh???? dead#part 25. “I killed myself. For a voice in my head. Do you know how mad that sounds?” what if IIII killed myself#26. god. Then 27. And 28. Literally my fav season ever#followed closely by s4#ohhhh my god i forgot how hot the butcher is like genuinely#i completely forgot prelude somehow???? giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair the whole time#i need to be this homicidal gay irishman hes so hot oh my god#the 29 divorce. with the movie lmaoo#i need to draw them going on a night out and seeing a movie and getting dinner and drinks and dancing and (gets shot)#gooddddd i remember listening to 31 for the first time and being so fucking confused#PART 33. HIT ME RIGHT IN THE EMOTIONS. OH MY GOD. BELLA SALTZMAN I COULD’VE TREATED YOU SO MUCH BETTER#34….. i can’t speak about 34 without barking and howling like a rabid dog#dog. Is that a butcher refere(gets shot for the third time)#NOELLLLLL MY DARLING WIFE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH#this has just inspired me to keep writing hofth with ella tbh#lowkey don’t even get the obsession with oscar tho i can’t be talking#to each their own or whatever
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Sunny watching her dad do so much for other people and wanting to make sure he knows he’s loved in return and going out of her way to make his birthday special for him and going to every single person to have them write about how much they care for him after he thought that no one did and-
#I’m literally crying#I have so many thoughts about this I can’t put into words#sunny is so perfect#the fact that she knows material wrath and gifts isn’t what he needs and instead gets him smth he’ll treasure so much more#I do think he would love anything she gets him but#sunny so clearly loves her pa and wants him to know just how much she loves him and appreciates all he’s done for her#I can’t stop watching the clip of fit seeing the area#I have tears in my eyes#qsmp tubbo#qsmp#tubbo#qsmp sunny
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ao3 sydcarmy writers you are gods gift to this world for preparing me for all this angst and getting me very excited. carmy resorting to his emp ways. sydneys snark and contempt. the partnership agreement. sydney contemplating the agreement. “so that you can push me and I can push you.” sydney at nat and pete’s house. berzatto in laws: sydney and pete interacting. the tension between sydcarmy in the kitchen. “if it’s not perfect it doesn’t go out.” sydney shaking the hand of the cdc from ever’s. “why are you doing this” “we’re gonna get a star” “i thought that was a trap”. “you need to calm down” “this is what you wanted right” AND THAT FUCKING LOOK. its straight out of a fanfic.
#sydcarmy#the fact that this is actual dialogue#i feel the urge to puke my guts out like sydney#literally shaking you guys#yeah this is what I wanted 😭🥹🫣🤭#screaming crying throwing up#jumping up and down dancing around grinning maniacally#I am too emotionally invested in this#is Sydney gonna potentially leave after dealing with all his crap? is carmy gonna cry and grovel?#sydcarmy s3#sydney x carmy#I can’t fucking wait#the bear s3#carmy x sydney#the bear s3 trailer#sydcarmy tension#the partnership
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hey guys, it’s ya boy, queen of never finishing anything because i hate my art and spent too much time on the sketch and ran out of motivation 😎
#jason 😭😭 <3#i am cursed to have so many ideas and never finish any of them#the one of dick and jason is actually the first batman thing i ever drew and was actually like 6 months ago lmao#ALL BLADES JASON TODD SAVE ME-#i wanted to try redesigning the swords and i just never did LMAO i got tok annoyed by his mouth 😭#the one of him in the Lazarus pit was actually going to be part of a set of three that i was doing while listening to make me (cry)#one day i’ll finish literally anything i start <3#bunny nightwing is a nightmare to draw because i can’t draw anything but especially not animals#but how cute would it be for tim to put him in a bat onesie and take him skateboarding#jason todd fanart#dick grayson fanart#batfam#jason todd#dick grayson#my art <3#i don’t remember my art tag anymore
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i kind of knew in theory that all my hobbies involved my hands but i kind of just ignored it n was like oh well im sure id manage
top ten pics taken seconds before disaster
#tldr a lot of drawing + my dorm desk is Really Bad for my wrists and i didn’t realize has kind of fucked me up bad#i don’t do basically anything all week until it stops hurting and i draw a tiny bit and it goes back to hurting#i have literally nothing to do w myself bc brain doesn’t want to do anything but draw write or game and i Can’t Do Those Things#and even when my wrist stops hurting i have to basically exchange any time i’ve earned to do my classwork#leaving no time for myself and my own work unless i say fuck it and gamble more strain#i don’t want to say it’s depressing me bc it feels. pathetic? but as someone who Has to get ideas out lest they start rotting him#it’s… not great#on top of some irl frustrations it’s made for a kind of glum few weeks#oh well. back to laying on my side watching youtube i guess#sparks speaks#vent#? yeah i guess#“i’m not depressed” says the guy who wakes up feels his hand twinge and immediately almost starts crying#like. lame ass behavior but it’s not like it’s a choice#i just wish it didn’t make me so mean. i’ve started avoiding ppl cause i’ve been getting mad rlly easily#which is not helpinggggg
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People please stop drawing undertale’s alternative universes!!!! 😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬
I can’t like and follow everyone 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭✨✨✨✨❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ everyone draws so pretty and I just want munch munch their art and eat it and squeeze it and kiss it 😭😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️‼️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
#sans#undertale#art#sans undertale#skeleton#underfell#ink sans#utmv fanart#alternate universe#undertale au#digital drawing#drawing#love the art#I literally want to cry#because everyone’s art is beautiful#can’t get enough
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it’s genuinely so fucking funny to me that this man is tone-deaf 😭😭
#im going to cry like#wdym a dangerous and wanted criminal who has nearly a billion on his bounty can’t sing#literally a criminal and he’s doing everything but crime#oh my god i love him#😞😞#azul.thoughts#sylus
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coming back to my blog after dealing with a family emergency for days to see that men are flooding my blog because some non-lesbian sapphics don’t feel any need or interest in keeping their followers in check. IF YOU HAVE MEN FOLLOWING YOU AND THOSE MEN DO NOT RESPECT BOUNDARIES— STOP REBLOGGING MY POSTS TO YOUR BLOG. i’m so exhausted and the last thing i wanna be seeing is my body and my voice while i orgasm tied to banners with “lesbian content” “men dni” “men do not interact” being passed around between men because they are used to you not having any boundaries with them on your blog. they’re your followers, not mine. keep your stupid men in check. i’m too tired to be nice about this
#i literally opened the app and then did this little sigh.#it’s really just so unfair to create such a safe space and then have it completely fucked because i can’t actually stop it from happening.#its not fair. i like being here and lately ive been getting more and more uncomfortable with the idea of my content floating around because#men will just do whatever they want with it. they blow up my asks and fucking ignore every banner and lack of consent for them to be here#i have had my heart ripped the fuck out of my chest in the last few days crying in the er#i’m so tired#the last thing i want to deal with is my boundaries being broken over and over and i’m just supposed to be fine with it because#‘that’s men’ ‘that’s life’ ‘what did you expect’#i’m just gonna put all my stuff on patreon and delete it from here. i’m too tired of this and it’s a lot to deal with in general but so much#worse right now. i’m turning off the reblogs for all of my face/body stuff and my audios#i just want to stop being consumed like my boundaries are worth nothing.
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No one is asking you to like cops IRL, not even the show. If you look at Arcane and what you see is copaganda, if you look at Cait and only see PoLiCe OfFiCeR and not the character, the problem is YOU.
1. I never said anyone asked me to like cops irl
2. I know that’s what I said.
#I was gonna make a long drawn out response specifying or whatever but the post is very self explanatory#idk if I see it as a#‘problem’ but like yeah that’s literally the point of the post#I already have to extend Grace sympathy and understanding to police irl being black in the south#I’m not doing it for a show I like for a character I tolerate#like the surface level analysis I do of Caitlyn has her as a well written character#I don’t care to delve any deeper than that unless it’s about how she interacts with or shapes characters I like lmao#And the characters I like are doing thing that I wish I could see more of irl#I think I made a post a while ago about how fandom as escapism for me is difficult bc the way I interact w/ media is shaped by my real life#and since fandom is majority white they just don’t get it and refuse to#this might be part of that#like idc about the redeemed bigot there’s enough of those in my spaces already#I’m sure they’re very sad and important and educational for you but I don’t care#one more time for anon I ME THATS JUST ME ALONE NOBODY ELSE JUST ME! I don’t care#uhm in conclusion cry about it?#WAAAAIT#I also never said arcane was copaganda#I quite literally specified my issues are w/ fans who can’t spare a single thought for a black characters that’s not ‘he’s so obsessed with#sad white girl 5’#again idc enough to think about the enforcers beyond what they mean to ekko or Mel#depends on s2 but so far#well now I’m thinking do I think it’s copaganda?#from a character standpoint maybe not but like any show that’s wants me to believe or root for a grown ass woman who didn’t realize cops#were bad. like there’s a lot of y’all irl but it’s a show yknow?#they diiid have that Caitlyn ekko fight and ekko was clearly correct but again the results of that are more fandom bias#um idk I’ll have to rewatch maybe! but I#did nooot say arcane was copaganda in the og post like I said I quite literally spoke on how I felt#oh but the way vi broke up that fight#hem hawwwww#conclusion vi wants to be copaganda for coochie but her common sense stops her from being completely stupid 💔 sad 💔
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GOT GOLD VIP 😁😁 DNP GET READY
#i literally want to cry#that was so stressful#i still can’t believe it#dan and phil#phil lester#dan howell#phan#dnp#terrible influence tour
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I’m gonna be out most of the day bc I’ll be helping my dad with a big shopping trip plus being out after, so I’m going to be super duper exhausted
I don’t do well in crowded or loud places in the slightest, I get woozy and tired and I feel miserable or like I’m gonna pass out, and if the shopping isn’t gonna make me wanna cry, the outing after will bc it’s gonna be packed with lots of noise and people
I don’t say this because I want to complain, I just wanna give a super quick warning that I might not be active tomorrow as well as today bc when I get exhausted, my mental health tends to decline as well ;-;
so- a bit of a warning that I may poof a bit (sorry! 😣)
#But yeah :)#hopefully I’ll be able to sleep it off tonight but since school is tomorrow might end up still tired and stressed (ᵕ—ᴗ—)#lol I’m trying not to complain or make a stink about it whilst still being informative—#Edit: uh so I don’t know what’s wrong with me this morning#But it’s already starting to go to crap unfortunately#Hgnhh I wanna talk but I keep telling myself it’s selfish to talk about how I feel#Idk I’m just messed up man#Feel like crap#eating earlier didn’t help it just made me feel worse#I don’t wanna go shopping or to the outing :(#But my dad said he needs help#And I don’t think I have a choice for the outing#And school tmrw :(#I don’t wanna do this I really font#I think I’m breaking down#Yeah I’m breaking down#<- that’s dramatic I’m sorry#Edit 2: if I trigger myself so badly that I have a really quick and strong breakdown will that make me fine for the rest of the day#Bc omg I have things I need to do! I can’t mope around and be dramatic all day!#I hate this! I don’t want it! Literally any other day would have been doable!#I can’t just ask my dad to stay home from the outing either because then that would entail me explaining why I don’t wanna go and I’d cry-#-in front of him and I don’t wanna cry in front of people#I hate this so much#i wish I could just poof into nonexistence#🌾#<- atp it’s a vent#Edit 3: I’m trying really hard ace but petting my dog isn’t working
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Brb gotta just yell into the void
#GOD IM JUST#so both Q and I were under the impression we would be getting help fixing the place#almost a full week later#it’s basically just been me his elderly grandma and him when hes not working#which is very little time since he’s full time#I have been working on this place from basically sunrise to sunset#doing what I can to make it clean and repaint#but I can’t do most repairs#mainly what the bathroom needs#but today#ooooooo today#Q’s parents are getting on our nerves man#we’ve been trying to explain that the bathroom is not functional in it’s current state#and instead of Q’s father#the landlord of this place who decided keeping it while living two and a half hours away was a smart idea#helping to fix said bathroom#says he’d rather work on the living room floor which is the lowest priority#and when we expressed this to them#his mother goes#if you don’t like it you can go live somewhere else#EXCUSE ME#I have literally been spending all the time I can trying to fix up YOUR place for you two#to the point where I am now coming down with a cold and my lowing back is killing me#where Q is sacrificing every free moment he has trying to do what he can while working a full time job#and THIS is the thanks we get???????#what the hell#anyway they’re coming tomorrow but Q has work so I am going to cry#I am so exhausted and stressed if they pull some shit I might just do something I shouldn’t#I want this to be over#the second were able to afford a house we’re getting the hell out of here
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Of course I’m going to ignore all my life problems by reading fanfictions.
#fanfic#I’m literally crying#I can’t handle this anymore and I want to die so what am I going to do? READ FANFICS#THAT WILL HELP#lexie speaks
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:(
#i literally feel VIOLENTLY ill at the fact the hospital handled my mum’s passing so badly that her funeral is exactly ONE MONTH after it#i’ll forever be furious and angry and hurt and traumatised by the way they handled it#like A MONTH#it should not be happening this long after#and it’s her birthday on sunday so maybe i’m just feeling ten times worse because of that#but it’s not fair#it’s never gonna be fair#why the FUCK did she get taken from me like this#and then having to be the only one who knew about her funeral plans bc she only told me#and then everybody including my dad tells me how strong i am#IM NOT STRONG!!?!!?!??!?#i’m a girl who needs her mama. i’m just a girl who is so lost and confused and needs her mama#i literally want 2 die#tw death#i turned my tv off and immediately started crying bc i felt like the worst person in the world#did i not love her enough#should i have been better to get#*her#idk i just want her to know i adored her#and i need to hear her voice and get a hug#one of the last things she said to me was ‘i love you more’ well i love you most so how about that#tw grief#i am never getting over losing her#please . feel free to let me rant i just feel like i can’t talk to my dad or family bc like idk .#i always talked to my mum about my emotions and well! that can’t happen anymore lmfao 😭#i just need a place to vent the HELL out of my feelings bc i am not going back to therapy
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