#even after the disgusting shit they said to me

[crushpunky]

rafe and kook!reader take a drunken walk

masterlist | kook!reader masterlist

warning: sexual undertones, but nothing happens lol

The lights and sounds of the party leaked out onto the beach as y/n and Rafe drunkenly stumbled across the sand. Topper and Kelce had gotten involved in a heated game of beer pong, leaving Rafe and y/n to fend for themselves. After small-talking with every drunken Touron and Kook that wandered over to flirt with Rafe, both of them decided it was time for a break.

The two of them giggled as they bumped into each other, Rafe grabbing onto y/n and pulling her into his chest. He lifted her up, spinning her around with a shout, the coolness of his rings digging into the bare skin between her top and the beginning of her skirt.

“Put me down, Rafe!” Y/n squealed, grabbing onto Rafe’s forearms as he tumbled along the sand.

“If I put you down you’re gonna fall on your ass!” Rafe laughed, burying his face into the crook of y/n’s neck. The warmth of his breath fanned across her skin, making her already alcohol ridden brain spin even more.

“I won’t!” Y/n giggled. “Seriously put me down—”

Rafe’s foot sunk into the sand, his knee buckling, sending the two of them falling. Y/n let out a yelp as her back hit the sand, knocking the wind out of her. Rafe fell on top of her, his hands shooting out to catch himself just before he crushed her. Their wide eyes met for a brief second before the two of them collapsed into fits of laughter, Rafe rolling over to lay next to her.

“You dropped me! On my ass, asshole!” Y/n laughed, hitting at Rafe. Rafe’s hands hit at her side, the two of them grappling at each other in the sand.

“If you weren’t moving so damn much I wouldn’t have!” Rafe shot back, delivering a jab to y/n’s side that caused her to squeal with laughter at the cheap shot.

“Well if you wouldn’t have picked me up in the first place,” y/n patted Rafe’s cheek playfully. Rafe grabbed her hand, pulling it away with a groan, his fingers not leaving hers as their hands fell to rest between them.

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry.” Rafe sighed, batting his eyelashes as a drunken grin spread across his face. Y/n rolled her eyes, moving to roll away from him, but Rafe caught her by the hips and pulled her back.

“You’re so annoying, you know that right?” Y/n said.

“What? Me?” Rafe scoffed. “Why don’t you go hang out with that Touron that was flirting with you all night?”

“What?” Y/n shouted exasperatedly, turning to prop herself up on her elbow to look at Rafe. Rafe chuckled, propping himself up to face y/n, his eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, the blonde guy. He was practically eye fucking you the entire time.” Rafe said.

“Gross, boy.” Y/n groaned, her face twisting with disgust.

“It’s true. It was… intense.” Rafe raised his eyebrows playfully. Y/n shoved at Rafe’s shoulder, causing him to fall back into the sand. Y/n swung a leg over his torso, moving to straddle him and look down at him, her eyes narrowed. Rafe’s hands fell to rest along y/n’s thighs, his fingers playing with the fabric of her skirt and his gaze flickering down along the curve of her hip. Her bikini top hugged onto her body closely, its bright pink color complimenting her skin perfectly. He found himself staring, and maybe it was because of all the alcohol coursing through his veins, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away.

“Rafe?” Y/n’s voice shook him out of his thoughts. Her hair fell around her face, the moonlight casting shadows along her cheeks in a way that— shit. 

Y/n moved her legs, adjusting her knees in the sand, when she felt it. The firm, poking against the inside of her thigh right where—

Rafe shoved her off of him before shooting to his feet. He stumbled, running a hand through his hair. Fuck. How could he have been so stupid, so teenaged, to let himself get so worked up over some friendly roughhousing. They’d done this thousands of time, drunkenly wrestling and joking around, what was his fucking problem? She was probably disgusted with him. No, by the wideness of her eyes she definitely was.

“Hey, it’s fine, don’t—” Y/n struggled to her feet, taking a step towards Rafe, her arms open. Rafe stumbled back, putting as much distance between the two of them as possible. He ran a palm along his face, closing his eyes tightly. He fucked up. This was bad. Like, really bad.

“Rafe, seriously, it’s not that big of a deal.” Y/n placed a hand on his shoulder hesitantly. He flinched before lowering his shoulders with a sigh, his hands still covering his face, but a blush still visible. Y/n didn’t know what to think. Obviously it had been an accident and didn’t mean anything, but yet, why did he seem so disgusted by the idea of seeing her like that? Seeing her in a way that wasn’t just as a friend, in the way that she secretly and almost selfishly wished he would… that really disgusted him that much?

“I didn’t— fuck!” Rafe shouted, causing y/n to jump. She swallowed harshly, gnawing at her lip as the two of them stood in silence.

“Rafe, it’s fine. I… I know you didn’t mean anything.” Y/n whispered.

“I’m sorry.” Rafe said quietly, his gaze still unable to meet hers.

“No, no, you didn’t— it’s fine. Just forget about it.” Y/n shook her head.

“I’m sorry, fuck, I’m sorry.” Rafe mumbled with a sigh.

“Rafe, I said it’s fine—”

“It’s not fucking fine, y/n. Look at your face, you’re fucking disgusted with me. I’m fucking disgusted with me.” Rafe snapped, running his hands along his jaw, his eyes finally meeting hers.

“I’m… I’m not ‘disgusted’ with you, Rafe. I don’t think I ever could be.” Y/n said gently, her fingers tracing along Rafe’s shoulder lightly, her touch helping slightly to calm his racing mind. There was something about her touch that always seemed to ground him in moments like this, when things seemed to spiral out of control and the thoughts began to become too much. While it certainly was helping his mind, it wasn’t helping the pathetic pang in his chest.

“Ok, ok. Sorry.” Rafe whispered. Y/n’s hand found his own, squeezing it lightly.

“I would give you a hug, but I don’t think Little Cameron would like that.” Y/n said, her lips twisting into a smirk. Rafe groaned, throwing his head back with a small chuckle.

“You’re the worst.” Rafe said, shaking his head before pulling y/n’s hand, the two of them drunkenly stumbling along the shore.

“And I thought you liked me.” Y/n teased, leaning so their shoulders hit against each other with each clumsy step.

“You’re not too bad, I guess.” Rafe grinned.

[urinarythreatinfection]

Alright since you want requests, how about good ol Sanji figuring out that he likes a guy? Lmao.

Poor Sangni. You know for all the shit people (me too) give him, he kinda turned out really good compared to all the things he went through. Also I ❤️ comments on my fics.

Confusion in My Love

Sanji x male reader. fluff. tw for for internalized homophobia. Contains a medium fishman island spoiler. 1375 words.

It’s known that Sanji has an innate preference towards women, and an innate hate towards men. It’s a fact of life the same way the sky is blue, or it was until you. He acts differently around you, a man. Not how he treats Luffy or Zoro, no, there’s something else. Something that makes him weak towards you, something that makes it so when you make a mistake he doesn’t feel like getting angry or mocking you. Something that’s making him feel different.

“Sanji!” His heart skips a beat when he hears your voice while giving Nami and Robin their beverages. “Can I get one too?” You ask with a smile. Everyone expects him to say no, right about now he’d be too “busy” fawning over the women, after all. Schedule full. However…

“Alright.” …he agrees. Like it was instinct, before he could even realize what he was agreeing to. It causes everyone to go silent except for Luffy, who hadn’t realized what was weird until Usopp whispered it in his ear. Sanji knows it’s weird too, but he’d already said yes to you, and he just can’t bring himself to change his mind. So he retreats instead. To the kitchen, his oasis, to make your drink. Once he’s inside he crouches down and puts his head in his hands. “Why did I say that!?” He yells at himself. This stupid something has only been getting worse. Not being as angry at you to not wanting to get angry at you to complimenting you. Now he’s even making a midday beverage for you like he would with a lady! “Why am I doing this!?” He stands up and starts to make the drink, keeping himself busy will surely help him stop thinking about it, but it fails. It’s only when he’s poured the finished product inside the glass that he spots his reflection, his face with flushed cheeks. He touches them as his heart beats faster, is he sick? That has to be it there’s now way, right? Nonono he loves women he’s a woman lover, men are disgusting creatures that he would never develop romantic love for! However the more he thinks about it the more everything he feared and denied is coming together, making his repressed emotions crash down on him.

“Hey, Sanji?” You walk into the kitchen and find him with his elbows on the counter, head in his hands. “Damn if you really didn’t want to make me the drink you don’t have to force yoursel-” You notice tears dripping on the marble “-are you crying!?” When he spots you they flow from his eyes harder.

“hic..unng…” He puts his face back into his hands, sobbing as his emotions overwhelm him, stronger from all the years of internalized homophobia from misinformation. If he’s gay does that mean he has to crossdress all the time now? He likes his suit though… now he just made himself cry more. He feels like a stupid little kid again. You go up to him, confused but rubbing his back as he lets everything out and tries to imagine all the things he’s going to end up doing now that he’s gay. Cooking with long nails, fighting with dresses, having to do makeup every morning, saying kya…

“Sanji what’s up with you, man? Did having to make a free drink for a guy make you this heartbroken?” Crazy conclusion but he’s almost died from a nosebleed so it isn’t that out of the question.

“I’m gay…” He sniffles. “What do I do?”

“Huh??” You look at him with a confused expression. “You’re crying because you’re gay? Sanji it’s not something to be ashamed of, Luffy isn’t going to kick you off the ship. I’m not even sure he knows or even cares what that means.”

“Maybe, but how am I going to cook with long nails?” He looks at his hands in despair. “And is he going to accept me if I wear dresses and makeup?”

“Do you… want to wear dresses and makeup?” The blonde wipes his eyes when you question him.

“..maybe.” Sanji mumbles then quickly yells after. “I don’t know!”

“I feel like you have a misconception on what being gay is. I don’t know what you’re thinking but you don’t have to do anything to be gay besides being attracted to the same sex.”

“But the ladies…” He still wants to like women, he doesn’t know what that means.

“Sanji there are other options besides gay or straight, you can like both men and women, and you don’t have to do whatever you’re thinking if you don’t want to. You’d be a beautiful crossdresser or non-crossdresser. In fact, you don’t even need to be a crossdresser to wear makeup. I don’t- I- How did you even come to this conclusion.”

“In Kambakka.” He states, that makes sense.

“Oh.” You scratch the back of your neck. “Well I don't think them being gay is the reason they’re that way. Did they not tell you this?” He shakes his head. “Yeah well I guess they wouldn’t have expected for you to be this-” ‘ignorant’ “-uh.. mal-informed. Anyway I mean what I say. You’re still you and you get to be you. How did you end up figuring out you liked men anyway?

“Ugh…” He feels stupid now, getting emotional over nothing as he wipes his eyes. “It’s because I like y-” Sanji stops, immediately sobering up once he realizes his mistake. “yyyyoung men my age.”

“Oh? Did you see someone you liked at the last island?” You’re starting to get curious and his face goes red again as he sputters, blue eyes swimming around for an escape when he remembers the drink he made you. He grabs it and quickly gives it to you.

“Here! I finished it not too long ago, drink it while it’s still fresh.” You grab onto it, accepting he doesn’t want to talk. This must be a vulnerable moment for him.

“Well, okay. Just know whatever you end up being, I still care about you, kay?” You smile at him and he heats up more, his feelings stronger now that he realizes what they are.

“Me too, I.. care about you—too.” He’s struggling, jolting when you rub his back.

“We care about each other then, and thanks for the drink.” You walk out of the kitchen with a wink. Once you’re gone Sanji slowly sinks to his knees, sighing. His hand goes to his chest, feeling his beating heart.

“This…feels so weird..!” He rests his back on a shelf door, pupils into hearts as he gets dizzy. “Love love love..” That repeats in his head. He loves you, adores you, filled with nice feelings the moment you look his way. “

There’s a lot to think about now that he’s realized this but if this light, pleasant feeling he’s getting is because he loves you.. maybe a crush on a guy isn’t so bad.

_____________________

Bonus past memory from Kamabakka:

“GAHH GET AWAY FROM ME! I’M NOT GAY!!” Sanji screams while running from the Okamas. He’d been running the whole day now and eventually manages to lose them, that's what he thinks anyway. They’re actually just hiding to let him rest.

“He keeps calling us gay, we’re Okamas.” One of them says, an idea popping up. “You… don’t think he thinks all queer people are like us, right?”

…

…

“No way~” They all brush it off as another speaks up. “I mean it’s pretty obvious what the difference is, he’s gone traveling he’s must’ve met another queer person.”

“Right right.”

“I’m never going to be like them, I like women. I’m not an Okama.” They hear him say as he catches his breath, making them pause.

“Ah…” They nervously look at eachother

“Well.. he’s going to be here for two years. He should figure it out eventually, right?”

“Yeah, we’ll try and help him too! He’s precious after all.”

Unknown to them, he hadn’t figured it out. In fact, he was so terrified of them that even when they did try giving him pointers he kept blocking it out. But it’s alright, there’s no way he’d do something like think it’s mandatory for gay people to crossdress… probably.

[secretkinkz]

I'm requesting a father Sukuna and Sukuna's daughter's best friend, Y/N. Sukuna  looks at their thighs, low-cut top, and other things during the day and when Y/N's friend is asleep they go to the kitchen to get something to eat and they notice Sukuna sitting at the kitchen table doing work and Y/N's tries to tease him but it backfires. [PS love your work. Hope you are still writing. Much love!]

A/n: OMG, I can't even tell how long it's been since you requested this. I'm so sorry, I didn't know I even HAD submissions! I've been gone for a while but here, I did my best <3

~~~~

P s. Y'all don't think too much Abt the age. Literally. Don't. It might not make sense.

Modern AU

Warnings: Age gap (19/32), broken girl code, spitting, spanking, gagging, choking, hair pulling, male oral and, fem oral.

Enjoy~

So fucking rude, but he's fucking sexy. God, I can't stand him.

You stare at Sukuna from across the room as he stands in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, his back turned doing God knows what on his phone.

You were over to see Yuromi, his daughter, your best friend. Well, to be honest. You wanted to see him, you've only known Yuromi for 6 months, yesterday you met her dad.

It was your birthday party, her dad dropped her off and you were introduced to him. He nonchalantly nodded and drove off after telling his 21 year old daughter to be safe.

Yeah, she still lives with her dad, because she was afraid of the real world.

Yuromi had always been spoiled and clearly pampered by her father so she was afraid of leaving the house and he was completely fine with that. He was a single father so he doesn't have a reason to deny her.

But seriously, you were interested in him but Yuromi would be pissed if you actually tried him out. Would she? Then again, she was adopted. Sukuna adopted her when she was 10.

God, you wanted him though. To just fuck him, let him bend you over the counter and go balls deep.

His rough voice saying the most disgusting things that would leave you dripping for him. Fuck.

You had a chance, you often caught Sukuna staring at you. So you wore revealing clothes every time you went over. He would watch your ass whenever you bend over, sometimes you'd part your legs so he could see the lace panties you wore.

You squeeze your legs together just thinking about it.

"Hey, come on. Stop ignoring me.." Yuromi cocked her eyebrows, crossing her arms.

"It's late, sorry I'm tired." I mumbled.

"Shit, it is 1 am. Let's go to bed." She stood up from the couching and stretched.

"I'm going to bed dad, goodnight." She went over and hugged him, his kissed her forehead. "Sleep well." He said, as she smiled.

"Don't overwork yourself."

We went upstairs to her room. "Okay, in the morning we'll go to the concert. God, I can't wait." She squealed, hugging you.

You chuckled, she was excited over a classical show. Beethoven's fur Elise, would be performed.

"Alright, I'll wake you up." You waved as you went into the room next to hers..

It was only an hour later when you got hungry, so you decided to go downstairs.

To your surprise, Sukuna was sitting at the table on his laptop.

You slowed down and stared at him for a moment before going into the kitchen. "Don't mind me." You whispered, grabbing a water bottle instead before moving to the table.

"What do you want?" He asked, picking up his pen. "Nothing..." You lean forward, letting your oversized tank top shift a little.

"You know for someone who's only known me for less than 3 months, you sure are comfortable wearing those clothes around my house." He said coldly, meeting your gaze. You nearly melt seeing his intense glare.

"I'm sorry, I'll dress better." You run lick your lips and watch hima s he writes whatever's on his laptop down. "Do you need anything?"

He growls lowly, clearly becoming frustrated.

"Actually, yes.. I'd like to get to know you. Since, you're my best friend's father."

He removed his glasses and looked up.

"What would you like to know?" He asks, making it noticeable that he wasn't interested.

"What are your hobbies, What do you like to eat, your taste in women-"

"If you're only hanging with my daughter just to get at me, I suggest you stop."

"What? Of course not, I love Yuromi. But.." you rhb your feet against his leg.

"It wouldn't hurt wanting her dad."

Sukuna stared at you as you stood up, moving behind him. You place your hands on his shoulders, brushing your lips against his ear.

"You're playing a dangerous game girl."

"I like to play risky sometimes."

Sukuna gripped your wrist and slammed you against the table, pressing his bulge against your ass. "Let's see how long you'll be willing to."

He kicked your legs apart and lifted your shirt. "No panties? So you're used to quickies huh?"

"No, I barely have sex. Why, are you jealous?"

Sukuna slaps your ass, gripping it firmly. "I'm far too grown to be jealous."

You gasp feeling his cold fingers slip between your lips. His free hand reaching under your shirt and gripping your breast. You bite your lips, surpressing your moans, his fingers curl hitting your sensitive spot.

"Whatever you say. you're moving like we have all day."

"I like to take my time, admire something before I make a mess of it."

Sukuna inserts another finger, spreading them apart. "Don't do that." You whine, bucking your hips. "This?"

He spreads them again, like he was stretching your pussy.

"You're practically riding my fingers right now."

You instantly stop moving your hips. "Perhaps you're out of touch, which is why you're taking years."

He smiles slightly as your insult.

Your eyes widened feeling a hot and burning sensation on your ass again, it doesn't stop as he strikes your ass again and again. "Let's see, if I'm out of touch."

Tear prick the end of your eyes as he rubs the painful area. Fuck it get so good. Sukuna thrusts his fingers into your mouth, gagging you as he thrusts them in and out.

Your eyes roll back as your throat grows hot. You struggle to pull back, Sukuna keeps his fingers buried deep. Not even caring that you were turning red and choking.

Feeling your hips twitch, he withdraws his fingers. You inhale, attempting to catch your breath. He collects the drool on the side of your mouth, using it to coat your nipples. You didn't think Sukuna was fucking Sadistic.

"Get on your knees."

You did as he ordered, leaning against the counter and you sat on your knees. You nearly choked on your salvia seeing his dick, it was fucking huge. You couldn't possibly take that.

The tip of his cock red and forming with precum, it was veiny and long.

"Open." But hearing his raspy voice order you around, that was impossible to reject.

You open your mouth, your hands barely wrapping around his length as you take the head into your mouth.

He grunts, watching you try and take all of it. "Shouldn't be greedy."

You glare at him and pull back, going back down and repeat. You eventually speed up, the sounds of your slurping and gagging on his girth is the only thing heard.

As if he'd grown impatient, he tangled his finger in your hair and began thrusting. Your head hitting the wall as he pins you against it. He growls and leans his head back. "Fuck."

You place your hands on his thigh, fighting the urge to finger yourself to his aggression.

Sukuna holds your head still as he slams his cock down your throat, groaning as if you two were the only ones in the house.

Thank God Yuromi was a heavy sleeper, she didn't even wake up to someone banging on her door.

"Shit, your mouth is pretty useful. I like that, the sound of you choking on my dick. It's better than you shamelessly flirting with me."

He slaps your face a few times, before pulling away.

You swallow his load, coughing slightly.

Sukuna grabbed you by the waist and placed you on the counter, spreading your legs.

He went between your legs, wasting no time to start sucking on your folds.

"Mm." You prop yourself up on your elbows and watch him, biting your lip.

"Yes.." Your eyes flutter, his thumb rubbing your clitoris in circular motions as he spits and smears it. So nasty, and filthy, he didn't care how messy he was, he was slurping your juices and enjoying every moment of it.

"Fuck, Suk-Sukuna... ohhh shit shit!" You squirm, gripping his hair as you arch your back off the counter. "Mm, fuck! Keep going, yes yes!" He speeds up, grabbing your legs and placing them on his shoulders as he pushes your knees against your chest.

"God! Mm fuck, baby!" You whimper, panting heavily as you chase your orgasm.

Your toes curls as your mouth falls open, stomach churning as your orgasm waves over you.

Sukuna pulls away, his tongue running over his lips.

He presses his dick against your entrance.

He hasn't even started fucking you yet and you were already tired and overstimulated. You couldn't even take the small steps, how could you possibly handle him fucking your brains out?

When he did start, you were gripping the edges of the counter moaning loudly as he slammed his hips into your ass.

"Fuckin' tight, shit I could fuck this all night." He groaned, yanking your head back as you clenched your teeth. "Open."

He spat in your mouth, you closed your mouth and swallowed. God, whatever this man would throw at you, you would swallow willingly. He asked so fucking sexy, his dick? Even better, shiitt it was stretching you wide.

You were almost screaming as he slapped your ass and brutally fucked your pussy.

He pulled out and turned you on your back, entering with the same force once again. This time he got a better look at your flushed face as you took his cock.

"You like that?"

"M-mm, I fucking love it!" You cried, your eyes rolling back as he wrapped his hand around your throat. "Good, fucking good."

He tightened the grip he had around your throat, his eyes rolling back S you clenched down on his cock. "S-Shit." He released a guttural moan.

It wasn't long before he took you to his bedroom, you found yourself in a mating press as you had the filthiest kiss ever.

He fought the urge to fill your tight, warm pussy with his seed. He wanted to make you a mother, just so he could see his cum drip from all of your holes.

~~~~~~~

A/n: it's 3 am. I need to take my ass to sleep. 😌❤️

[goatcheesecak3]

I hate you too

Adam Faulkner-Stanheight x afab!reader

Minors dni

Warnings: nsfw, alcohol use

Fic type: enemies to lovers, smut, a dash of fluff at the very end, also Scott Tibbs cameo teehee

Summary: you and Adam have been rivals for years, but after begrudgingly letting him crash at your apartment, things take an unexpected turn.

A/n: this is my first time writing a smut in YEARS so I'm a little rusty. This is just a short one, but I how you enjoy it! I've maybe got an idea for a part two of this, so let me know if you want it!

"Are you fucking kidding me? You didn't tell me he was gonna be here" you huffed to your friend, Mark.

"Was I meant to?" He asked, looking at you as if you were insane.

"Yes! I wouldn't have come if I knew he was gonna be here"

You were at some sleazy dive bar, you and a group of friends had decided you all needed to get outside and have some fun- well, you, your friends and him.

"Him" was Adam, a twenty seven year old photographer with a mean attitude. He was as much of a part of the group as you were, his friends were your friends and they all got along. However, for some reason the pair of you never clicked. You thought he was hot-headed and rude, while he thought you were vapid and snarky.

"Come on, just play nice for tonight, alright?" Mark pleaded with you, "he's been having a rough time lately. You know it's coming up on one year now..."

Almost a year ago, Adam had had a pretty terrible ordeal. He'd been kidnapped by a serial killer and chained up somewhere. He was missing for about a week before he was found, shackled, bloody and nearly dead. You hated his guts, but even you found yourself worrying for him. You recalled back to when you and your friends had visited him in the hospital...

...

"I didn't know any of you guys could bake, who made these? They're better than an orgasm" Adam groaned, munching away on a third cookie.

"That was your best friend" Mark had teased, while your other friend, Scott let out a snigger.

"You made me cookies?" Adam raised an eyebrow at you "have you tampered with these in any way?"

"No, I haven't tampered with them you dumbass. Besides, you're literally going in for your fourth one right now, would it really matter if I had at this point?" You rolled your eyes.

Mark and Scott giggled to themselves, they loved watching the two of you argue.

"So if you're not trying to poison me, then why did you...?"

"Look, this doesn't mean we're friends or anything, okay. I just... I guess getting kidnapped probably sucked" you looked away, not wanting to continue taking and accidentally say something too nice.

...

Adam came over to the booth where you, Scott and Mark had been sat, sipping on beers.

"I think that's my cue to go for a cigarette" you said, rising from your seat.

"You gotta cut down on those man, they'll kill you someday" Scott tutted, half joking.

"Don't threaten me with a good time" you called as you dissappeared into the outdoor smoking area.

It was peaceful out there, no one else but you. You huddled yourself under a grimy looking awning and struggled to light your cigarette with your shitty, dying lighter.

"You shouldn't joke about that shit" an all too familiar voice broke the silence.

You spun around, slightly startled, to see Adam stood there.

"Don't follow me, you creep" you scoffed, unable to hide the disgust in your face, even if you wanted to.

"I'm serious, don't joke about wanting to die in public. You don't know who's listening"

He was referring to jigsaw, of course. His whole "cherish your life" thing made jokes like that grounds for kidnap and torture. Adam had a good point.

"Just looking out for you" he said, his unwelcoming expression unchanging.

You glared at him, your frustration building as you struggled to light your cigarette.

"Just use this" he tossed his own lighter to you.

"Thanks".

When you had finished lighting yours, Adam lit up one for himself. The two of you smoked in silence, avoiding eye contact and shuffling your feet awkwardly.

...

Your walk home was a strange one, to say the least. Your mind felt cloudy, so you decided to take the long way home. You'd drank just enough alcohol to reach a weird stare of clarity, where your mind was alert enough for you to think coherently, but uninhibited so that you could think about things your sober mind had tried to avoid. Your dream of consciousness ran wild, leading you to all sorts of conclusions.

"Why am I still single? The guys in this city are ugly, that's why. No, that's mean. They're not ugly, just boring yuppie types. I'm friends with the three good looking guys in the city but you couldn't pay me to date them. Oh, admitting that Adam is your friend? Admitting that he's good looking are we now? Okay well maybe he's not my friend, but it's been well established that he's a good looking guy. Hate to admit it, but if his mouth never opened I'd probably find him hot.

Your train of thought took all sorts of twists and turns, but it kept seeming to take you back to thoughts of Adam. You put it down to being drunk and stupid, reminding yourself that you despised Adam, you couldn't stand to see his face, you couldn't stand his whiney, high pitched voice. Ugh. It was so irritating you could practically hear it- no, you could hear it, like really, actually hear it.

"What the fuck? Why didn't my landlord tell me he was doing this tonight?"

Adam was pacing back and forth on the sidewalk, next to his apartment building, which had been draped in a yellow and black striped tent. As he paced, he whacked his mobile phone with his hand a few times, muttering things like "shit" and "Come on, stupid thing".

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what had happened here. Adam's apartment building had been fumigated, and with no working phone, he was pretty much stranded for the night. You couldn't help but laugh.

Adam's eyes shot towards you, his expression a mixture of hatred and relief. You were the last person he wanted to see him struggle, but at least he knew you'd begrudgingly help him out.

"Jesus y/n, you scared the shit outta me. Did you follow me or something?"

You shook your head.

"I was out for a walk, this little shitshow" you pointed toward him "was just a happy coincidence."

Adam bit the insides of his cheeks. He wanted to be rude to you, he wanted so bad to wipe that smug grin off your face, but he knew he couldn't, not while he needed something from you.

"Can I borrow your phone? I need to call scott" his voice had no inflection whatsoever.

"Negative. Out of juice"

"Ah jesus, fuck.." Adam held his head and began to pace. He looked less annoyed and more concerned now.

"Fuck!" He yelled through gritted teeth, throwing his nokia onto the floor. In an anticlimactic bounce, it landed by your feet.

"Jeez, if it's that serious you can just charge this thing at my place" you sighed, picking up his phone and noting that you had the same one.

Adam looked at you as though you were lying to him.

"Come ON, before I change my mind" you ordered, finally feeling the cold of the night, and wanting to be inside quickly.

Adam followed, and the two of you walked in silence.

...

There was something palpable in the air of your tiny apartment that night, like a storm brewing. It intensified by the second, and when Adam threw himself onto your sofa as if he owned the place it only became stronger. You marched to your bedroom to grab your charger, quietly seething. Everything he did pissed you off. The way he so arrogantly shoved your decorative cushions aside so he could sit, the way he looked at your posters, your furniture. Judging, silently judging. You tossed him the charger, and sat in an armchair. The sofa had plenty of room for you to sit too, but the thought of being in such close proximity to him filled you with a white hot burning rage.

Some time passed, neither of you had spoken, instead opting to chainsmoke. Part of you was hoping the thick cloud of smoke would obscure your view of him. The silence sat heavily above you, until Adam's voice broke through it.

"Scott's not picking up."

"Have you tried Mar-"

"Obviously I've tried Mark"

Both your sentences were short, snappy. Being alone together was uncomfortable and awkward as all hell, if just one of you could swallow your pride and break the ice it would have been bearable at least, but you were both stubborn as mules.

Adam let out a sigh.

"Look, this isn't ideal for either of us but.." You took a deep breath, "you can stay here if you're really outta options"

Adam responded to this, in what you assumed was his language for gratitude. He liberated a small bottle of whiskey from the inside pocket of hig ratty jacket and plopped it down on the coffee table.

"If this is as much of a nightmare for you as it is for me, then I think we could both use some of this" he said.

"Hey look, finally something we can agree on" you almost laughed, standing up to head to the kitchen and grab two tumblers.

The two of you drank generous amounts, you had put a record on quietly just to add some sort of ambience, because the silence had begun to feel quite oppressive.

"You know, there's probably more than just that" Adam finally said, startling you a little.

"Huh?"

"I mean, there's probably more we agree on than just the fact that tonight is a nightmare"

"Dude, that conversation was like 20 minutes ago, are you slow or something?" You scoffed.

Adam rolled his eyes

"I mean, shit y/n, I love this album. All your posters, the stacks of dvds, we pretty much have the same apartment. Maybe yours is a bit more flouncy than mine.."

"And also yours is filled with bugs judging by that fumigation tent" you quipped, unable to resist the urge to get a jab in.

Adam paused, and gave you a look. It wasn't one you knew how to describe.

"What I'm saying is, we've got a lot in common. I seriously don't get why you have such a problem with me"

You were absolutely dumbfounded. That jerk! He was acting like you were the one with a problem? You sat there with your mouth agape for a second or two, before snapping at him.

"You're the one that started this feud! Always giving me dirty looks, poking fun at the way I dress, which by the way, is ridiculous because we dress exactly the same!" You blurted out, almost raising your voice.

Unexpectedly Adam began to laugh. He threw his head back and cackled like a hyena.

"Have you lost your damn mind?" You asked, a slight tone of seriousness to your voice.

"No, no, no... I- I get out now" Adam struggled to get out between laughs, "I get why we hate eachother so much"

Your curiosity got the better of you

"Why...?"

"Okay so, there's always been something between us, we thought it was animosity, right?" His face became plastered with a devilish grin

"It's not that, it's not that at all. It's sexual tension"

"That's disgusting! You're sick in the head!" You cried out, insulted at the very notion.

"Come on, y/n, we both know it. You wanna hit this sooooo bad" he smirked, his smug, awful grin sending waves of anger throughout your body.

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard" you retorted, doing your best to ignore what felt like excitement bubbling in your chest... and other parts of your body.

"Aw, are you too much of a good girl to admit it?" He teased.

You tried to fight it, but it was absolutely no use. Those two words just did something to you. Your body, not wanting to comply with your better judgement, gave away your feelings. You blushed, and Adam saw it.

He let out a low chuckle. He was infuriating, you felt this innate, primal urge deep inside you, like you wanted to pounce on him. But to do what? Punch him? Kiss him? You'd find out in the moment.

"Get up" you ordered, rising to your feet

"Woah, are you gonna try and fight me out something?" Adam laughed, only half concerned.

"I don't know yet" you said flatly, eyes trained on Adam as he stood to face you.

Before you could make a decision, your body reacted for you. Your arms threw themselves around his shoulders, one hand running itself through his surprisingly soft hair, the other resting on the back of his neck, pulling him toward you.

Your lips immediately met his, as you kissed him hungrily. With even more fervor, Adam kissed back, his tongue slipping into your mouth. One of his hands found itself on your waist, the other was groping your ass.

Your mind was racing a hundred miles a minute, this was the stupidest thing you'd ever done, but you'd never felt more alive. It was dangerous, a little wrong even, but so right at the same time.

You pulled away for a second, only to breathlessly utter the word "bedroom".

Adam nodded, before resuming kissing you. Your bodies remained firmly pressed together as you stumbled down the hall and into your bedroom. The two of you removed your jackets and tshirts, tossing them god knows where. You honestly couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when your bodies became horizontal, it was such a blur, but somehow you ended up laying on the bed, Adam on top of you.

He had begun to kiss all over your neck, the sensation of his hot breath making your stomach flip. You let out a few moans as his hands explored your torso, feeling every inch of you. You couldn't see his face, but you knew he had that same shit eating grin as always.

You could feel how hard Adam was through his jeans, he grinded against you and you felt your hips involuntarily buck forwards, wanting more friction. Adam noticed this straight away.

"Someone's impatient" he chuckled, his voice smug as ever

"Shut up" you just about managed to get out between gasps.

"Let's pay a little more attention to your top half first, you can be a good girl and wait a little longer" he whispered as his hands found the clasp of your bra and made hasty work of it.

There was that nickname again, the one that made wetness pool in your panties, the one that made your nails dig into Adam's back as you pulled him closer.

Adam's soft lips gently brushed over your nipples, his tongue dancing across your flesh. He was surprisingly gentle, his delicate touches were just light enough to drive you wild, you desperately needed more.

"Adam..." You whined, hoping he would stop teasing you.

"God, y/n, you're such a greedy little thing, aren't you?" He grinned, "so desperate to be fucked"

He loved seeing you like this, having you right in the palm of his hand. Well aware that Adam was enjoying watching you squirm, a myriad of insults flew through your mind, and you would have called him every single one of them if you didn't want him inside you so badly.

Thankfully, Adam stopped waiting around, and removed your jeans and underwear all in one swift motion. He'd never admit it, but he was getting rather impatient too. His hands on your legs, holding them apart, he stopped for a second to admire your pussy. You were visibly dripping, and knowing that it was he who had done that to you gave Adam a real ego boost. That arrogant son of a bitch.

"So wet for me, y/n" he murmured, eyes glued to your womanhood, as his hands rubbed along the insides of your thighs, getting juuuust close enough to your pussy to make you hyper aware that nothing was touching it- and you needed that touch urgently.

"Stop talking and just fuck me, Stanheight!" You yelled, hoping your voice would sound demanding and assertive, but instead sounding desperate and weak.

"Hmmm" he hummed, as though he were deeply considering what you had just said.

Suddenly you finally felt some sort of touch between your thighs. Two of Adam's fingers ran along your slit, smearing your juices across your entrance, and up to your clit.

The gasp you let out as you threw your head back was partly in pleasure, partly in relief. When his fingers rubbed gently across your clit, your hips rolled, trying to press against his fingers for more friction, but as soon as his fingers were there, they were gone again.

Looking up to see why Adam had stopped, the sight that met you was both unexpected, and an absolute delight. It was Adam, his eyes shut and his beautiful, sharp features accentuated by the low light of your lamp. He was licking your fluids off his fingers.

You felt a brand new wetness begin to spill out of you at this, as you uttered a breathy "fuck, that's hot".

He winked cockily, as he admired the state you were in. Fully Nude, and spread open to show him how wet you were. Hard little nipples and a dazed, blushing face. He found your soft lips and open mouth particularly attractive. He would have loved to shove his cock deep in there until the Mascara ran from your eyes, he thought you'd look quite pretty all tear stained and used. But that was something he would wait for next time, it was too intense for a first time together, and quite frankly, at this point he was getting just as desperate to fuck as you were.

"You got any condoms?" He asked, standing up to unzip his jeans and yank them down with his boxers

"Top drawer" you pointed to your dresser, and sat up on your elbows to get a good look at Adam's naked body. His torso was pale and slim, at the bottom of his tummy a small trail of hairs was dusted across his flesh, leading down to some recently trimmed black hairs. His dick was a wonderful sight, a decent length and a girth that looked like it would stretch you delightfully. He had a pretty pink tip, which was glistening with precum. You made a mental note that at some point you would love to give him a real slow, sloppy blow job.

Adam positioned himself over you, and lined his cock up to your entrance, rubbing his tip up and down your folds.

"I'll be gentle to start off" he whispered, almost tenderly, as he planted a soft kiss at your jawline.

You nodded, signaling that you were ready for him to enter you.

He started off with just that pretty pink tip of his, carefully pushing it into your hole. He let out a low hum, while a gasp escaped your lips.

"More" you whined

"God, you're hot" Adam remarked, a low chuckle escaping his lips.

He eased himself in further, his girth slowly stretching you.

"Shit you're so tight" he muttered, more to himself than to you. "It doesn't hurt, does it?" Adam looked at you, there was a glint of something a little too intimate for hate-fucking in his eyes.

"No, it feels good" you nodded, feeling yourself adjust to his size.

Adam gently pushed the rest of himself inside you, until he was all the way in. After waiting for a few seconds, he began to thrust. He maintained a steady, fast pace. His face buried in your neck breathing you in, your bodies pressed tightly together.

"Oh god Adam" you cried out, loving every second of it. All that rage from earlier had transformed into an insatiable need to feel him all over you. Your hands roamed up and down his back, running through his hair and gripping onto his body, holding him close as your legs wrapped around him, letting him in deeper.

Adam lifted his head from the crook of your neck and abruptly stopped thrusting. He was looking down at you now, that cocky grin plastered over his face.

"Thought you were meant to hate me, hm?" He said.

"Who said I didn't" you uttered, breathlessly.

"Well if that's the case, then maybe I should stop"

Oh he was good.

"Don't you even think about it" you said urgently.

Adam's face could only be described as mischievous, as he pulled himself up and slowly began pulling his dick out of you. You let out a small whimper at the loss of the feeling of him filling you up.

"I wanna know how badly you want it" he smirked, absent mindedly rubbing his hand along your thigh.

He knew just how to drive you wild, his soft touches and playful teasing made your core feel like it was on fire.

"C'mon Adam, quit fucking around" you whined.

He shook his head

"Beg."

That bastard.

Never in your life would you ever have imagined needing something from Adam Stanheight so badly that you would be willing to beg for it, let alone this, but now it was actually happening, you were seriously considering it.

He rubbed his tip up and down your folds, teasing your entrance and making it nearly impossible to resist. You couldn't fight it, you needed him. You had to swallow your pride and do what he wanted.

With redness painting your cheeks, and all your pride out of the window, you uttered a small "please"

"Please what?" Adam smiled slyly.

"Please fuck me" You said, a little louder now.

"Throw my name in there and I'll consider it"

This was humiliating, this went against everything you stood for, there was no wa-

"Please Adam, please please fuck me"

"Well since you asked so nicely"

There was no build up before Adam plunged himself deep into you, and this time he went harder than before. The obscene sounds of slapping skin and moans filled the air. He held your legs open as he took in what he considered to be the most wonderful sight; your tits bouncing with each thrust, your hands clutching into the bedsheets, your mouth wide open to let out moans of his name. God how he loved the way you said his name.

"Fuck, y/n, why'd we wait so long to do this, huh?" He panted through thrusts

You wanted to respond with something sarcastic, but with Adam repeatedly hitting your sweet spot, there was no way you could form a sentence, or ever remember what words were for that matter. As you started to see stars, finally two words managed to make their way to the forefront of your mind, and you screamed them.

"I'm cumming, I'm cumming!"

"Shit... fuck, me too" Adam groaned, burying his cock deep inside you, before grinding his hips and releasing.

...

When Adam returned from cleaning himself up in the bathroom, he wore nothing but his boxers.

"I uhh.. I got you a glass of water" he said awkwardly, placing the drink on the bedside table.

"Thanks" you said shyly.

You weren't exactly sure what the protocol was for the aftermath of sleeping with your arch nemesis, were you supposed to go back to fighting? Were you meant to cuddle? You figured a good place to start was a cigarette. You fished around in your nightstand and pulled out a packet of smokes and a lighter. The ashtray was already resting on top.

"Want one?" You offered casually.

"You keep cigarettes in your bedside table?" Adam asked, raising an eyebrow. He took one from you and sat next to you on the bed.

"You're just jealous you didn't think of it first" you teased, affectionately this time.

Adam took a long drag before he spoke.

"So..."

"So..."

"You wanna cuddle or...?" He avoided eye contact, feeling foolish for even asking.

"Or what? Or do I still hate you?" You smiled

"Yeah, or do you still hate me?" He laughed.

You snuggled up to him and planted a small kiss on his cheek.

"I think you're the worst" you joked, resting your head on his shoulder and draping your arm across his chest.

"Hate you too, babe" he chuckled, kissing the top of your head.

[delicatedemolition]

actually on the verge of a mental fucking breakdown but it’s cool

[holymolyfizzie]

stolas, self-awareness, & self-help

the narrative i keep seeing is that Stolas has little self-awareness, but idk how much i believe that really? or at least, i really don't think that Stolas is actively trying to be oblivious. it's been clear for a while now that Stolas is trying to understand what's going on. we can go back to the texts from after the night at Ozzie's of Stolas asking Blitz to talk, but honestly we have so much of him saying upfront that he wants to understand what's happening between him and Blitz exactly

i mean, take "Just Look My Way" as a case. this is a song where Stolas makes it clear that he is aware of the privilege differences ("I don't care that you're of lower station... Scorned by a realm that cannot comprehend what you are"). and we see that again when he realizes Blitz and him are in an unfair relationship due to the power imbalance, then actively works to make sure Blitz can leave at any moment without jeopardizing his livelihood. but he also makes it abundantly clear that he knows there's something missing and wants a dialogue with Blitz. a dialogue that Blitz is refusing to engage in beyond, frankly, assumptions and mockery. Stolas has reached out time and again, and he's so upfront here about wanting to understand the whole context!! he's missing knowledge. but it's a leap to say that he's completely not self-aware. and we have it again in Apology Tour:

Stolas is still saying that he wishes he understood more, that he wants a dialogue! Stolas is a self-aware birdy, enough to gather that he has knowledge gaps, but he doesn't know how to get that knowledge except for the words that Blitz has refused to give him so far. he is holding so much evidence (memories) at once in his head, but Stolas is also clearly someone that is trying not to make big assumptions (like Blitz does), so he's not understanding the evidence given to him in terms of a narrative. Apology Tour is about giving him the narrative that Blitz is an abuser and doesn't care about him (obv we know Blitz does care, and it's clear that Stolas pieced that together himself as well, at least before the party), but even now he has doubts in his gaps in knowledge. that's not an oblivious person to me -- it's someone who's uninformed but trying his best with the info he's been given

Also. Stolas has been going to a therapist, or getting self-help in some other way. we should know that already because he has meds for his depression. he has some form of help outside of what we see on the screen. but Apology Tour has really showcased how he is using "therapy talk" to express his feelings. because, for those who don't know, when it comes to couples counseling especially, it's encouraged to use "I feel X" statements when communicating:

compare this to how Blitz uses so many "you" statements (You want me to show your rich, prince-y ass what a real fuckin' is. / You get off by being plowed by people you look down on). when Blitz speaks, you can hear the automatic assumptions, and it's a stunningly clear contrast to how Stolas only speaks about what he knows

and then there's expressing how he knows Blitz doesn't need to reciprocate Stolas's feelings and actions, but a dialogue is still necessary if they're going to try and make things work. Again, this is very much the signs of someone who is seeking outside help to understand the situation:

And as much as I know we like seeing Stolitz again, Stolas has set his boundary over and over and over again in these past 2 eps. a boundary that Blitz keeps breaking. But Stolas is still communicating that he's uncomfortable in the best ways he knows how, in spite of the alcohol and pain:

we need to take a moment on that! Stolas is self-aware enough to know his boundaries and to communicate them. It's frustrating to see them broken (which is NOT Stolas's fault, Blitz shows up unannounced and even broke into his home! what the fuck!), and it really puts Blitz into an abuser role right now. but stolas has been setting healthy boundaries.

(also for the whole oh he wants a romcom, it's unrealistic. no, he is not that delusional. he literally acknowledges in Apology Tour that he knows romcoms are fake, but that he still wants a loving relationship. and he gets so excited when someone asks him to dance!!! Stolas doesn't want some huge romcom -- he wants to know what it's like to be actually loved, even in the smallest ways. don't come at me about Stolas being romcom-delusional, he's not. such a non-starter)

Stolas is a gay man who has always known he is gay. He was literally forced into an abusive, hetero marriage that he didn't know he could escape until very recently. he has some 2 decades worth of relationship trauma and having his boundaries violated by his own father + Stella. but he is still getting some forms of help and working on growing as a person who can hold a healthy relationship that includes healthy communication. he is reaching out to Blitz, asking for clarification, and asking for boundaries to be respected with the tools he has

and frankly, speaking as an abuse survivor myself, Stolas is incredibly self-aware. it's such a huge step forward to know what your boundaries are and actually set them after getting out of an abusive situation (Blitz is yelling at me? i can leave this time). and not only to know his own boundaries, but to understand that Blitz also has walls up because of his status in Hell. Stolas knows how he feels, and he is really fucking trying to understand how Blitz feels

should he try again to apologize for the contractual relationship and earlier treatment? yes, of course. but. Stolas has been trying for several episodes now to work this out, and he's hit a wall. he can go no further on his own with this relationship. all he can do is try to move on from what has, honestly, become another abusive relationship for him

I'm sorry but that's not an oblivious birdy. Stolas has grown so much and is so self-aware, actually. he's simply not getting the communication he needs to sustain this relationship anymore

so to Vivzie's "Stolas still not quite being self aware enough at times" in the ep description: prove it. because i'm not fucking convinced Stolas is that bad off.

[widevibratobitch]

my god. skinny people really just have like. No Idea huh just absolutely not a single clue lmao it's almost funny to watch fr but then id lie if i said i wouldn't fucking kill to be able to be that ignorant

[lenakluthor]

me, literally yesterday: yeah so now my biggest problem is getting myself to start tasks and my therapist suggested maybe i talk to my psychiatrist about adderall

my mother, today: *holding up an overdue bill* this is what you need to talk to your therapist about! you procrastinate everything!

[rainyraisin]

I have to take two more lots of penicillin today I'm gonna fucking SCREAM (vent in the tags)

[kerryeurodynes]

my mother has been in the hospital all week, and i don’t know when she’ll be released, because she broke both of her wrists after we had an absolutely lovely day saturday, and i know i’m a grown adult but i keep having crying jags because i miss my mom and this is the third longest time she’s ever been away from me in my whole life man 😭 it’s embarrassing!!!

[dennisboobs]

this is genuinely... so funny to me. like the hilarity of copypasting rational tweets. i'm literally right. it's not even a funny copypasta because it's literally just. objectively correct. it's a criticism of twitter culture and that makes it funny to you because...... god forbid you actually have empathy for other people. caring is for losers if you're on twitter dot com, you have to be snarky and funny at all times.

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Currently resisting the urge to blackmail my father into therapy

[petitgalaxy]

.

[appreciatingtokrev]

the fact that my ex shamed me for calling him ‘beautiful’ three months after he came out as non-binary because it was too feminine (they’d been fine with it previous to his outing and they didn’t tell me they don’t want to be called by feminine terms anymore or anything like that) and then went on to call our relationship lesbian when i explicitly told him that our relationship is not lesbian because i am an omni demiboy and certainly not wlw is fucking wild to me now that i think about it. and i fr dated him for six more months after that

[fairydustfromhell]

[puppmeo]

Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody