#(which i’ve had many times before when i was an active swimmer so that’s not that bad)

[happyandticklish]

Not Just An Annoyance

Notes: For the ask by @ticklish-sidekick. Based somewhere between the Titan’s Curse and The Battle of the Labrynth. As someone who was once the younger kid with the stupidly obvious crush on their older peers, I related a lot to Nico throughout the series. I hope you enjoy my sweet emo child as he receives all the tickles he deserves! :)

Summary: Nico keeps annoying Percy to get him to tickle him, and Percy is oblivious as per usual.

“What’s that?”

Percy jumped near out of his skin at the sudden presence of the other boy peering over his shoulder, banging his knee into the cafeteria table. There was something about the way Nico moved that made him slightly uneasy, like he was sliding out of the shadows. He glanced down at the sword Nico had asked about, which mere moments before had been a pen; Percy had wanted to polish it while everyone else was out at activities.

Evidently, not everyone.

“Uh, it’s my sword,” Percy answered, holding it up for him to examine. “Riptide, technically. Haven’t you seen it before, in battle?”

Nico’s eyes widened at the sight. Before Percy could do anything the boy had snatched it out of his hands, running his fingers over the blunt side of the blade. “Yeah, I mean, a couple times. I’ve never seen it up close though. How come it has a name? How does it turn from a pen into a sword? Do you actually know how to fight with this? Could I try?”

The questions buzzed around Percy’s head, whizzing too fast for him to concentrate on one. He decided to focus on the last one, as he figured that was the most prominent one. “Absolutely not. You’ll get yourself killed.”

He held out his hand for the sword, but Nico was already swinging the sword down in a wide arc, flushing in excitement as it whooshed through the air. “Awesome.”

“Nico, c’mon, give me my sword back.” Percy stood up, attempting to wrestle the hilt of the sword away from him. Nico was small and squirrely however, and easily evaded his grasp, clumsily slashing at empty air several more times. “That’s not safe, you know. And your technique is all wrong.”

“Then teach me the right way,” Nico responded brazenly, completely oblivious to Percy’s growing annoyance.

Percy narrowed his eyes at the insolence. He knew the kid didn’t mean to get in his way, but that didn’t stop him from making endless troubles for Percy. He thought back to Manhattan, and all the times he had acted up in similar manners. He remembered a certain technique his mom had used on him in those circumstances, and he figured they would surely be just as effective now.

While Nico was distracted attempting to heft Riptide into a natural thrust, Percy managed to sneak up behind him and place both hands on his sides. Nico froze, his entire face going red though Percy of course couldn’t see that.

“Give me the sword Nico,” Percy demanded. “Or else.”

Nico stiffened, trying to act brave through his apprehensive confusion. “No. I’m still using it.”

“Okay,” Percy said, shrugging as if to say the matter was taken out of his hands. “You asked for it.”

The last thing Nico expected was for two pairs of fingers to dig suddenly into his sides as Percy enacted his tried and true method. Nico jumped, bursting into uncontrollable giggles as he squirmed in his hands.

“N-Nohohoho!” Nico protested, attempting to wriggle out of his grip but finding that Percy’s strength vastly outmatched his own. “Ahahaha, Nahahat fahahahair!”

“Are you gonna give me the sword?” Percy asked, knowing that technically speaking Nico’s grip was weak enough on the weapon by now that he could grab it himself if he wanted. He decided it was more fun this way, however. “Hmm? What’s that? Are you at a loss for words?”

That’s a first.

“Stahahahap!” Nico screeched, dropping the sword finally and attempting to pry away Percy’s hands. “Ehehehe, pffft, nohohoho mohohore!”

“Are you gonna leave me alone?”

“Yehehehes!”

“And quit asking so many questions?”

“Yehehehes, yehehes!”

Finally Percy backed off and Nico collasped to the ground, wrapping his arms protectively around his middle. Percy calmly retrieved his sword while the other glared at him. “Tickling is not fair.”

“It’s called strategy,” Percy informed him, bumping him affectionately with his foot as he walked by. “See, you did learn something.”

Nico watched as Percy capped his sword, the weapon instantly shrinking down into a pen that he pocketed before walking off to go find the others. His skin still tingled anxiously as phantom tickles ran up and down his sides. He slowly clambered to his feet, trying to shake off the leftover embarrassment from acting so childish in front of someone as cool as Percy. Crumpling into a ball of giggles in front of your hero certainly didn’t help when you were trying to look tough.

But there was something about the way Percy had smirked when he had grabbed his sides, the teasing lilt to his voice, that awoke strange, fluttery excitement in the pit of his stomach. Percy was normally so dismissive of him, treating him as some annoying younger brother; it was nice having all that attention focused on him for a change.

So for the next couple weeks, Nico found himself doing everything in his power to provoke Percy into another “attack”. And, as most would say about him if asked, Nico could be very persistent when he wanted to be.

“Nico!” Percy spluttered, resurfacing after the other had shoved him quite suddenly and unexpectedly into the lake. “What the hell?”

Nico shrugged, flashing him an impish grin. “I wanted to see if the Son of Poseidon could swim better than normal people. I guess I was wrong though, because you seem to be struggling quite a lot.”

“Because you shoved me—” Percy exclaimed, before cutting himself off with an irritated smirk. “Alright then. But you only have yourself to blame for what happens next.”

“What do you mean—wah!”

Nico yelped in surprise as Percy’s hand shot out of the water suddenly, grabbing his ankle and jerking him into the lake with him. He landed with a splash next to Percy, waves cascading out around him. He came to the surface with an indignant gasp, and barely had time to get his breath back before Percy had pulled him into his arms, fingers wiggling into his now soaked shirt.

Nico shrieked, instantly squirming and attempting to evade his grasp, but Percy’s grip on him was too strong. “Ah, wahahait, nohoho, Pehehercy!”

“This is what happens when you mess with the great Percy Jackson,” the other triumphed, squeezing his sides rapidly and prompting a flood of embarrassing squeaks and giggles from Nico.

“Ihihihit wahahahas juhuhust ahahaha prahahahank!” Nico protested, throwing his head back with a wild grin and kicking his legs out violently in the water. “Thihihihis ihihihisn’t fahahahahair!”

“It’s perfectly fair,” Percy argued. “This is revenge, plain and simple. I wonder what would happen if I just…” He grabbed both of Nico arms, holding them above his head with one hand. With the other, he started rapidly spidering fingers in his left armpit. Nico promptly freaked out, writhing and bucking like crazy as the unbearable sensations took over. It was a credit to Percy’s superior abilities as a swimmer that he was able to keep both of them afloat through the process.

Nico got truly desperate when the touches changed from light fluttering into intense drilling, directly in the spot where his armpits met his ribs. “Nahahahaha, stahahahahap, stahahahahap, ohoho myhyhy g-gohohods!”

“Alright, alright.” Percy let go, whereupon Nico’s arms hastily clamped to his sides, and paddled their way back over to the dock. Nico gratefully pulled himself up and collapsed on the wooden platform, freezing cold and giggling.

“That was mean,” he accused, throwing an arm over his face to hide his growing blush.

Percy pulled himself up besides him, playfully poking him in the side to hear him yelp and scramble away. “Hey, sometimes you gotta be mean to teach someone a lesson. Besides, you’re too easy. I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone as ticklish as you are—it’s kind of adorable.”

Nico opened his mouth and closed it, attempting to somehow stammer out a response to that. Before he could, Percy had shot to his feet and was off again, presumably to go dry off. Nico flushed violently and, after a moment of hesitation, followed in suit, the slight breeze combined with his dripping wet clothes causing goosebumps to scatter up his arms.

Nico failed to get any sleep that night, as Percy’s words echoed over and over again in his head until he eventually buried his face into his pillow in delighted embarrassment.

The provocation only continued as time went on. Nico sprinted frantically across the camp grounds one late afternoon, dipping in-between confused campers who stared after him quizzically. In one of his hands he clutched a simple necklace—a necklace which happened to belong to one Percy Jackson, furiously in chase behind him. Already, helpless laughter spilled from the young boy’s lips as the anticipation of the chase caught up with him.

“Nico!” Percy yelled after him, hastily apologizing to campers as he bumped and stumbled into them. “That’s important, give it back!”

“Make me!”

Evocative words, a tease Nico knew the other couldn’t resist. Sure enough, Percy soon caught up to him, and instead of grabbing him he skipped straight to digging hands into his sides as the two rolled over on the grass. Laughter spilled already from Nico’s lips as electric shocks coursed up and down his body from the sensations. Percy quickly forgot about the necklace, as he did most of the stolen objects in these games they played, and simply went about wrecking the boy, wiggling fingers into every ticklish crevice on his body until Nico was squealing and begging for him to stop.

Only once Nico had truly reached his limit did Percy back off, letting the other breathe as he collapsed on the ground. Percy retrieved his necklace easily, as it had fallen from the other’s hands quite a while ago. Nico rolled over on his sides, leftover giggles wracking his shaking frame.

“Don’t take my stuff,” Percy warned him, trying to sound angry though most of the anger was stripped from his voice as he beheld the happy boy before him. “I mean it this time.”

Nico nodded frantically, but deep down knew this wouldn’t be the last time.

Weeks went by before either of them said something about it. It was a colder night, one of those midsummer evenings where one could feel the hints of autumn creeping in, and thus Percy sat huddled by the fire, his eyes closed as he absorbed the heat gratefully. There were a couple others milling in and around the fire pit, most either in their cabin or engaged in late-night conversation with friends and lovers. Nico hesitated before approaching him, worried for the first time in quite a while about being a bother. Normally he wouldn’t care as it usually resulted in Percy tickling the ever-loving shit out of him, but he was always worried that he might be going too far and that one day Percy was just going to snap at him in anger.

Not to mention, he looked so peaceful with his head tilted back, eyes closed and wind gently tousling his hair. Nico flushed, pushing the invading thoughts aside. He was well aware of the hopelessness of his crush, but that didn’t stop it from encroaching at the worst times.

“Hey,” he said, lowering himself to the ground and crossing his legs besides Percy. The other startled at his presence, whipping his head around to face him. “Nice night, huh?”

“Yeah,” Percy replied warily. He waited for a moment, clearly expecting something from the other. When Nico did nothing, he relaxed slightly, allowing himself to face the fire again.

“Hey,” he said hesitantly after a couple seconds of silence had gone by, an awkward note to his voice. “I just wanted to say sorry. For, you know, torturing you for the past month. It’s just… I don’t know, I guess I’m just not that used to dealing with kids, and I went a little overboard with you. I know you don’t mean to be annoying, or anything—”

“I do,” Nico interrupted, surprising both himself and Percy. He hadn’t meant to say the words—they had slipped out without his permission. “Mean to be annoying, that is. It’s… uh, on purpose.”

“Oh,” Percy said, frowning a little. “Why?”

Nico shrugged, picking at his fingernails and avoiding the other’s gaze. “Dunno. I guess it just… it felt nice to have your attention, you know? You usually treat me like a pest, or some minor annoyance you don’t want to put up with. I guess it was kind of fun having you hang out with me.”

“Fun?” Percy repeated incredulously. “But I was always so mean to you! I mean, what, do you like being tickled out of your wits all the time?”

Nico blushed furiously, staring intensely at the ground and not responding. It took a moment for the realization to hit Percy. “You do like being tickled? Wait—is that why you’ve been bothering me all this time? So I would tickle you?”

Nico grunted noncommittally.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Percy exclaimed, knocking his shoulder against the other affectionately. “I would have just tickled you, if you had told me that was something you wanted. You didn’t have to force me into it—in fact, I think I would much rather you ask as opposed to just stealing my stuff all the time and shoving me into lakes.”

Nico whipped his head up to stare at him for the first time throughout their entire conversation, his eyes wide. “You don’t think it’s weird?”

“I mean, I don’t personally understand it,” Percy admitted sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, I think I would die if anyone tickled me as much as I’ve been doing to you all the time. But if it’s what makes you happy, then it makes me happy. You’re my friend Nico—not a pest or an annoyance. I care about you.”

Those words, such a simple thing for Percy to say, meant the world to the little boy staring up at him. He flushed, trying to figure out how to possibly respond without sounding like a lovestruck dork about it. “Thank you,” he muttered, before kicking a foot out and digging it into the other’s side. “Idiot.”

Before he knew what was happening, however, Percy had latched onto his leg, locking an arm around his ankle and thus securing his foot in place. Nico swallowed nervously as Percy removed first his shoes than his sock, the cold air blowing preemptively against his now bare foot. Nico’s toes curled in anticipation at Percy’s growing smirk.

“Oh Nico,” he said, clucking his tongue regretfully. “You shouldn’t have done that. Especially after you just admitted that you like to be tickled, well… I mean, it’s really your fault what happens next here.”

Nico grinned, ducking his chin into his chest in embarrassment. “I hate you.”

Percy matched his grin with his own and Nico’s heart fluttered traitorously in his chest. “Of course you do.”

The camp soon rung with the sounds of Nico’s crazed giggles, leaving many a camper to stop and stare at the sight of what looked like the famous Percy Jackson tickling the shit out of the new upstart Nico di Angelo. That wasn’t the last time they witnessed such a sight either, and in the end, Nico found he couldn’t be happier with the way things had turned out.

[melanielocke]

Lost in the Shadows - Chapter 18

AO3

Taglist: @nott-the-best @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised

Previous Chapter: Chapter 17

Next Chapter: Chapter 19

Thomas had always enjoyed swimming. He used to be a competitive swimmer in school, and still considered going back to it at university. He was fast and he guessed he’d need to slow down for Alastair, who was not a frequent swimmer at all. While Alastair was fast and nimble on the land, his swimming skills appeared only enough to not drown. Which arguably was the most important when it came to swimming, but Thomas had to be careful, he didn’t want to exhaust Alastair or leave him behind.

‘I don’t usually like swimming all that much,’ Alastair admitted.

‘Really? Then why did you come?’ Thomas asked.

A wicked gleam appeared in Alastair’s dark eyes and he smiled. ‘For the scenery, of course.’

Thomas guessed it was the first time they’d seen each other wearing only swim shorts, although he had seen some of Alastair’s chest after Tessa had bandaged his shoulder. The wound looked closed now, but Thomas knew it was still sensitive.

While Alastair was skinny, he was also lightly toned. Not muscular like Thomas was, but elegant and graceful. He was beautiful. He remembered Alastair telling him he’d gained weight lately because of his new medication, but if this was his body after gaining weight, just how skinny had he been before?

And although Alastair tried to act casual, Thomas caught him staring at him too. Truth to be told, he was a little insecure about his body, and what Alastair would think of it. Thomas knew he was muscular, since he worked out so much, which he knew was considered desirable, but he often felt he was a bit too tall. Not to mention he hated the stretch marks that had appeared on his back, and worried what Alastair would think of those. His mother had freaked out the first time she’d seen them until she’d realized they were stretch marks. They were a faded pink now, although they used to be a bright red like wounds. Hopefully in time they’d fade to white. Of course, after three pregnancies, his mother had them too but everyone seemed to associate stretch marks with pregnancy when it was also completely normal to get them after gaining weight or growing very fast. Thomas sometimes wished he’d known that sooner.

‘My parents would often take me and my sisters swimming when I recovered from one of my fevers,’ Thomas said.

‘In the winter as well?’ Alastair asked. ‘Isn’t that cold?’

‘At the indoor pool,’ Thomas clarified. ‘I always had lots of fun there. There were water slides, a wave simulator bath, tropical plants to create a nice atmosphere. There was this one water slide that was in the dark and Barbara was scared of it so she always claimed I was too small for the water slide and wasn’t allowed to take it either.

Often when I was sick, it was something I looked forward to because I knew I could go to the pool when I got better. When I was older and no longer sick, I started swimming competitively. Didn’t you go swimming as a child?’

‘Not often,’ Alastair said. ‘Cordelia would go with Lucie and her parents sometimes.’

‘I remember getting these invites to classmates’ birthday parties. It’s a surprise what we’re doing, but bring your swimsuit,’ Thomas said. ‘Of course, I could only go when I was well enough, but it was a very common activity at my school.’

‘I was that child who never got invited. Which was fine, I didn’t really like being around other children anyway. My mother couldn’t swim, and my father didn’t really go have fun with us. I did take swimming lessons, passed my exams, but beyond that I didn’t really go swimming. My mother started taking classes not so long ago, though, so she’s learnt the basics. She found a class for adult women and even made some friends there.’

‘Maybe you should give it a chance,’ Thomas said. ‘Unfortunately, the pool I went to as a child closed. They built a mall there, I think. but I’m sure there are other pools I could take you someday.’

‘It’s not so bad,’ Alastair admitted. ‘Maybe if we survive this summer, I’ll take you up on that offer.’

Thomas felt himself become a little warm inside, despite the cold water. Here, spending time together in the lake and in the woods was nice, but Thomas wanted to show Alastair all his favorite places, go to the museum together, go swimming like he used to do. He wanted to introduce Alastair to his sisters, who would undoubtedly like him very much. He hoped they wouldn’t be too protective of him though, Thomas did not think Alastair would react well if Genie started threatening him. He made a mental note to send a warning to his sisters that there would be no threatening Alastair.

‘Do you play any sports?’ Thomas asked.

‘Currently not much beyond generally trying to stay active and taking very long walks,’ Alastair admitted. ‘Cordelia and I used to take dance classes together for several years, Father thought it important we learnt how to dance ballroom. The memory is a bit tainted because it was something he demanded of us, but truth to be told I did like dancing and I was quite good at it. We both were.’

‘Oh, that sounds nice,’ Thomas said. ‘I’ve always thought it would be nice to learn partner dancing, but I never got around to it. Besides, I’m a bit clumsy on my feet so I’d be stepping on my partner’s toes all the time.’

‘That doesn’t happen as often as people think,’ Alastair said. ‘I think there’s a dancing association at the university, so if you want to learn that might be a nice and affordable place to take classes. But you could also join a swimming team there if you’d prefer. Or both, but you’ll need to find time to study too.’

‘Is that something you struggled with?’ Thomas asked.

‘Not really. I had no social life beyond my ex boyfriend and I don’t need much time to study. Magic memory and all. But there were definitely a few students who were partying too much to keep up.’

‘I’m not really one for partying, so that won’t be a problem,’ Thomas admitted. ‘I didn’t realize there were so many options, all I heard about student life was either lots of partying or study until you drop.’

‘Oh no there are definitely options,’ Alastair said. ‘I’m just too antisocial for most of them. I don’t like being around people anyway. One on one is fine, but I’ve never liked groups. And I absolutely despite it when people are loud. What else do you like to do beside swimming?’

Thomas could recognize what Alastair described. He had always been shy as a child, and had never really grown over that. He liked being around people, but mostly in small groups.

‘I like music,’ Thomas said. ‘I play guitar, but I really like writing my own songs.’

He’d never told anyone that. He wasn’t sure why exactly. He’d started playing the guitar after growing over his sickness. He’d tried the saxophone before that when he was younger, but his frequent fevers made it difficult to keep up. To learn an instrument you had to practice daily, and that hadn’t worked out.

He’d started playing guitar at fourteen and he’d written lots of songs, most of which he’d discarded. He never believed they were any good, and he wasn’t very good at singing. He’d practiced, of course, and he knew how to pitch his voice, but he just didn’t sound that good or interesting. He could be a decent back up vocalist, he guessed, but then he’d need to find someone to actually sing his songs.

‘Really?’ Alastair asked. ‘What kind of songs?’

‘Oh, all sorts. Ballads, sad songs mostly, I guess. Love songs too. I’ve never told anyone before. They’re not good or anything.’

He remembered he’d written a very sappy, hopeless pining song not long after meeting Alastair. He was glad there was no remaining evidence of that ever happening, it was exactly the kind of thing Eugenia would use as blackmail. Which he guessed was why he’d never told Eugenia about his songs.

They reached the island in the middle of the lake, and sat down in the shallow water, a comfortable place to rest for a bit and talk. He could tell Alastair was getting tired, swimming was very different from walking or running and Alastair wasn’t used to it. Perhaps it was hard on his shoulder too.

‘You told no one? Really? Why?’ Alastair asked.

‘As I said, they’re not any good,’ Thomas admitted. ‘And I can’t sing well.’

‘Maybe I could sing them for you,’ Alastair said. ‘Although it’s been a while since I’ve really sung.’

‘You sing?’ Thomas asked. He wondered what Alastair’s voice would sound like when he sung.

‘I used to,’ Alastair said. ‘I played the piano too, growing up, but I haven’t played in years.’

‘Why did you stop?’ Thomas asked.

Alastair sighed. ‘I couldn’t find joy in playing music anymore. In anything really. Although I did listen to music a lot, and I do sing along occasionally. But apart from that… I just couldn’t bring myself to play anymore, it hurt too much. I wanted to get back to it, but so far I haven’t found that joy.’

That sounded sad. Would Thomas’ songs be able to cheer him up? Probably not, they were terrible. He would need some good music to play or sing to get back into it, not his hopeless attempts at song writing.

‘I hope you can,’ Thomas said. ‘I can’t imagine what it’s like to not be able to enjoy the things you used to.’

‘Well, sometimes interests change,’ Alastair said. ‘I’ve had a lot of odd interests that changed. But in this case… I want to be able to feel the joy I once felt. I want to play, and sing your songs and feel like myself again.’

Thomas wasn’t sure how comfortable he was with sharing any of his work, but if it would help Alastair then he would let him sing all of his songs.

‘Could you sing something? Now, I mean. If you want to, you don’t have to. I’m just really curious what you sound like.’

Thomas started rambling again, and Alastair silenced him by beginning to sing. The song would definitely sound better with accompanied by a guitar, but even on its own Alastair’s voice was beautiful. It was a bit lower than his speaking voice, but he seemed to have quite a range. Gentle, but firm and when he got farther into the song Thomas realized there was a lot of power behind Alastair’s voice. It was a romantic song he was singing, did this describe how Alastair felt about him? He didn’t catch everything, but some of the lyrics stuck with him.

Never opened myself this way.

Life is ours, we live it our way.

All these words I don’t just say

And nothing else matters

‘Trust I seek, and I find in you,’ Thomas repeated. ‘That sounds beautiful.’

Alastair smiled. ‘I do find trust in you. Even if it is something I still find difficult. I’m trying.’

‘What song is that?’ Thomas asked.

Alastair stared at him in shock. ‘You mean to tell me you don’t know this song? You can’t be serious.’

‘It sounds vaguely familiar, but I can’t name it,’ Thomas said. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s Nothing else Matters by Metallica,’ Alastair said.

‘That does sounds familiar,’ Thomas admitted. ‘I’ve never listened much to Metallica.’

‘You should, their music is very good, and it’s very melodic for a metal band. That’s what I like the most, when music is both heavy and melodic.’

‘What other music do you like?’ Thomas asked.

‘Breaking Benjamin must be one of my favorite bands. You probably haven’t heard of them, they’re not very famous. They’re probably best described as alternative metal. Very angst heavy lyrics, things I can relate to. And I like Metallica, Skillet, Three Days Grace. Within Temptation and Nightwish occasionally. What do you listen to?’

‘I like Green Day,’ Thomas said. ‘And As It Is, which you might not know because they’re not very well known, but they’re a pop punk band.’

‘I don’t know As it Is. I do know Green Day though. I’ve always liked Boulevard of Broken Dreams.’

‘Me too,’ Thomas said. ‘But 21 guns is my favorite from Green Day.’

They talked some more about music, and Thomas made a note to listen to some of Alastair’s favorite songs when they got back. He hadn’t had the time or inspiration to write songs lately, with everything happening, but he wanted to write something for Alastair. If he ever found the time in between trying not to die.

Truth to be told, Thomas found it difficult to have people worry about him so much, risk themselves for his sake. He didn’t want to die and was grateful he had people who were willing to help him, but he hated how all this was because of him. He hated being taken care of, being someone’s burden. It was something Thomas had always struggled with. When his mother had quit her job because Thomas was sick so often it wasn’t doable for both his parents to work. Since his mother was a primary school teacher, it had made sense for her to quit working as his father made more money and worked more hours. When his sisters would come straight home after school to keep him company rather than spend time with their own friends. When his father would come home early as often as he could, passing on opportunities at work.

It wasn’t just that the amount of attention could be suffocating, it was because he didn’t want to be difficult, he didn’t want other people to change their life, their habits for him. But as a sick child, he’d had no choice but to let people take care of him. Everyone had had to adapt to his sickness and even in a loving family such as his own, it wasn’t easy to have a child who was ill so often. Sometimes Thomas feared he’d taken up too much attention and had taken that away from Barbara and Eugenia.

‘You’re thinking of something,’ Alastair said. ‘Something that is bothering you.’

‘It’s nothing,’ Thomas said.

It wouldn’t be fair to complain about his childhood to Alastair. Compared to what he had been through, Thomas had wanted for nothing.

‘It’s not nothing,’ Alastair said. ‘I can tell when you tense up, when you’re thinking of something hurtful. Is it something I did?’

‘No. You didn’t do anything wrong.’ Thomas brushed his hand across Alastair’s cheek. ‘You’re perfect.’

‘Then what is it?’ Alastair looked away. ‘Look, I know how difficult it is to talk about how you feel, how vulnerable it makes you feel. But I can tell when things are bothering you, I know when people are upset. If you don’t want to share, at least tell me you’d rather not talk about it. Because people always like to pretend they’re fine but they’re not and…’

Alastair didn’t finish his sentence, he seemed upset too now. Thomas felt horrible. He didn’t want Alastair to worry, he didn’t want to hurt him. It made sense Alastair could read people well. Thomas had always been good at reading people’s body language, but Alastair had had to deal with his father’s changing moods, anticipating them had to be how he’d survived. Of course people’s bad moods were stressful for him, because Alastair had learnt he’d get hurt when other people were stressed.

Perhaps it was better to tell, that might set Alastair’s mind at ease. Even if it was difficult, even if he did not quite understand why he felt this way.

‘I was thinking about how you’re all risking your life for me, and I find that difficult. I’ve never wanted to trouble others, I’ve never wanted to be a burden. But I also know I cannot do this without help. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you or to Cordelia or Lucie because of me.’

Alastair put his hand on Thomas’ cheek, wet from the lake water.

‘I understand. But none of this is your fault, Tom, and you’re not a burden.’

‘I’ve always felt like a burden,’ Thomas said softly. ‘I always needed to be taken care of because I was sick.’

‘Is it a burden when the people caring for you love you and gladly care for you?’ Alastair asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Thomas said. ‘With James and Matthew, I was so glad to find friends, people my own age. But James’ mother and Matthew’s mother are my mother’s best friends, so we already knew each other from a young age. We were very close when I was still a child and they would come by to keep me company when I was sick. I am grateful, but they learnt I needed to be protected and when I grew over my sickness, Matthew still believed I was meek and dependent and needed to be rescued from you. James wasn’t as bad, he never noticed I liked you because he was always reading. I think the reason we drifted apart a bit is because of that. I never dared tell them how I felt about you, and I don’t think they would have reacted well. And again, I feared my feelings would make me a burden. That was less of an issue with Lucie, so I think that’s why I’m now closer to her. It was never a problem to tell her I liked you, and that’s why she was the first person I told.’

‘I didn’t realize you’d drifted apart from them. At school, it was always the three of you,’ Alastair said.

‘True, and I still care about them, I really do. But I think they’re closer to each other than to me, and that made me feel out of place at times. I still see them and spend time with them, and we text often, but not as much as we used to. But that’s fine, I think it was for the best. I still have plenty of people around me, enough friends, and we probably work better with a little more distance anyway.’

‘I didn’t realize, that’s all,’ Alastair said. ‘Sometimes change is for the best. How are James and Matthew anyway?’

‘I haven’t contacted them a lot with everything happening, and the last few days I haven’t been able to reach them. But I’m not yet sure what to say when I do call them. Do I tell them about us? Or about what’s going on? Do I tell my sisters? I do not want anyone else to come here and put themselves in danger.’

‘I have not yet decided what I will tell my mother either,’ Alastair said. ‘I did tell her I liked you, before I realized you liked me as well. But the past few days I haven’t been able to reach her, or Risa. Wait a moment, you said you couldn’t reach James and Matthew.’

‘Nor my sisters,’ Thomas said. ‘And my father said he was unable to reach uncle Gabriel. I don’t think uncle Will has had any success calling uncle Jem or your father either. Which is odd. You’d think out of all these people, at least someone would pick up a phone.’

‘Or perhaps that is part of what Tatiana is doing,’ Alastair said. ‘Isolating us so we cannot call anyone for help.’

Thomas tried to think that through. If he were in Tatiana’s shoes, he definitely wouldn’t want them to be able to contact uncle Gabriel and aunt Cecily. Nor uncle Jem, he guessed. Matthew and James were no threat to her, nor were his sisters, so he wasn’t sure why they were unable to contact them. Nor did he suspect Alastair’s mother was a threat. Perhaps it was simply easier to cut them off from everyone.

‘That makes sense,’ Thomas said. ‘But if we can’t call them, how far away from the town and the forest would we have to be if we were to reach people again?’ Thomas wasn’t so sure it would be that simple though.

‘I’m not sure,’ Alastair said. ‘Perhaps it’s like the land in between, except bigger. Perhaps something Tatiana did will not only cut off our ability to contact people who aren’t here, but will also prevent us from leaving.’ He paused. ‘I assumed there would be no point in leaving, because whatever is happening to you would simply follow you wherever you go. But perhaps Tatiana does need you here.’

Thomas wasn’t sure how to feel about that. He hadn’t considered running, didn’t think there would be a point to it. How could you run from a powerful being? But perhaps Alastair had a point and he was running from Tatiana. Perhaps that powerful being would simply take Jesse back if Tatiana failed, and that would be it. The thought brought no comfort. He would never want Jesse to suffer. None of this was his fault either.

‘It makes me wonder why that being picked Jesse over me,’ Thomas said. ‘It must have liked Tatiana a lot better than my parents, and I think when Jesse died Tatiana already knew what was happening. I think she assumed I would be the one to die, and when Jesse died and I didn’t, she got mad with my father.

But wouldn’t it have made more sense to take me instead of Jesse? Since Tatiana knew more about the deal, knew about the creature, knew how to barter with it?’

Alastair grimaced. ‘No. I think that is exactly why it chose Jesse. I don’t think the thief of souls intended to keep Jesse forever. If it had taken you, your parents would have been heart broken, they would grieve you, they would have sustained a wound that would never heal. But they would not have tried to get you back, not at the cost of someone else’s life.

Tatiana, on the other hand, would do anything for her son, and seems to hate everyone else. It doesn’t matter to her that lots of people will die, souls forfeit, as long as she can have her son back. She knew what was going on, what would happen to her son. Perhaps she tried to appease it, to make sure you would be chosen and not Jesse. But that’s exactly why it chose Jesse. Because with Jesse dead, Tatiana would do anything to bring him back, and she would exchange your life for Jesse. And the thief of souls could have asked her for anything it wanted, anything else she would realistically be able to give her.’

Thomas stared at Alastair. Everything he said made perfect sense. He had been looking at this from the wrong angle, from his own perspective of someone who made decisions based on emotion, based on his love for the people around him. But the thief of souls wasn’t like that, he didn’t care for Tatiana just because she liked him better than his father did. He saw her as a tool he could use. He played a strategic game and souls were the prize.

‘Why now, though?’ Thomas asked. ���Jesse has been dead for years. If Tatiana already knew what was happening, wouldn’t she have gotten him back sooner?’

‘I think the thief of souls must have demanded much from her,’ Alastair said. ‘He could ask for anything. Do any of you know what she’s been up to the past years?’

‘She moved away from London, left her house in a state of disrepair,’ Thomas said. ‘My grandfather was incredibly rich and Tatiana inherited lots of money, so she could afford to just move around and leave her father’s house.’

Thomas knew his father and uncle Gabriel had often wondered what to do with the money inherited from their father, money he’d earned through dark deals and exploitation. Money none of them deserved. But for uncle Gabriel and aunt Cecily the money had allowed them to hunt the supernatural, stop people like Benedict, since such line of work wasn’t exactly paid. His father had donated some of the money, but for them it had been convenient too since his illness meant he always needed someone around to take care of him.

‘Meaning, you don’t know where she’s been?’ Alastair asked. ‘I can’t imagine having so much money that you can just leave an entire house for several years without selling it. Honestly that should be illegal, considering how difficult it is for some people to even find a place to live.’

‘It was her father’s manor, had been in the family for a long time,’ Thomas said. ‘I don’t think she could have even considered selling it, it was very important to Benedict. But no, we don’t know where she’s been. My father and uncle Gabriel did try to reach out to her occasionally. At the very least they called her on her birthday, but she never picked up.’

‘So these past years, maybe she had to complete other tasks first, offer him other souls, anything he could have wanted. And at some point she must have captured Grace, which I imagine made completing his requests a lot easier.’

‘How long do you think Grace has been her prisoner?’ Thomas wondered. ‘I assumed it was a recent thing, what if she’s been with Tatiana for years?’

‘No idea,’ Alastair said. ‘Perhaps capturing Grace is what finally allowed her to win enough favor to get back Jesse’s soul. Whatever he wanted from her, it must have been easier with a siren under her control. But I think there’s still more she must do to bring him back to life. Perhaps that child that drowned was part of it too.’

‘And when Jesse lives, I die,’ Thomas concluded.

Thomas had no idea how to fix this. How to survive without sacrificing Jesse. He knew Lucie and Cordelia wanted to kill the thief of souls, but they didn’t even know what it was. Their attention had to be on Grace right now, if anyone knew more of Tatiana’s plans it had to be her.

‘We’ll get Grace’ skin,’ Alastair promised. ‘Tomorrow. And when she is free, she can tell us all she knows of Tatiana. There must be so much Grace knows.’

‘Will you be alright?’ Thomas said. ‘After this morning… will you feel up to it? I can’t imagine how exhausting that must have been. It’s fine if you need more rest.’

‘I hope so, but if not I can function pretty well while tired. At some point you get used to it. I have good days and bad days. Today was not so good, you’re right that I’m still very tired from this morning. Such breakdowns are always exhausting, that is not something I’ve gotten used to. I would go to sleep early, maybe take some melatonin, but I’ll only have nightmares. And we don’t have the kind of time to wait for me to recover from this morning, I’ll have to do with how I function tomorrow morning.’

Thomas considered for a moment, turning a little red before looking Alastair in the eyes. Thomas had always found Alastair’s eyes beautiful, big and so dark it was difficult to tell apart the iris and the pupil. He’d never quite understood the way people obsessed over blue or green eyes, described as sapphires and emeralds in many of Lucie’s books. Green and blue eyes didn’t even look like that. Light eyes might be less common than brown eyes, but Thomas had always found dark brown eyes combined with dark hair like Alastair’s far more striking.

‘Maybe I could sleep over,’ Thomas suggested. ‘I mean, do you think that would help?’

‘I don’t know if it would help with my nightmares, but I would certainly like it if you stayed with me,’ Alastair said. ‘I like to cuddle. It is very nice when you hold me, sensory wise. So, where are we sleeping? I think my bed is bigger, we could easily both fit in there.’

Thomas wondered what Alastair meant with that it was nice, sensory wise. It sounded like something Lucie, who was autistic, might say, but Alastair had not mentioned such a thing, had he?

‘Alright, then I’ll sleep over at your place,’ Thomas said. ‘And I’ll cuddle with you as much as you want. And when you have a nightmare, I’ll be there to remind you that you’re safe.’

[ladykissingfish]

A Date with an Angel // Part Four // Zetsu and Kisame

Zetsu

“Oh — God —“, Konan gasps, panting and holding her sides. She had thought she was in better shape than this, but ... “Do you want to stop and rest for a bit?” Konan nods, feeling mildly embarrassed as she sits gingerly on a log. When Konan had been a young girl, going for walks through the woods had been one of her favorite activities. Quiet, fresh air, surrounded by birds and butterflies and flowers ... so when Zetsu asked her if she wanted to go on a “relaxing hike”, she’d agreed right away. But apparently she and Zetsu differed greatly on their ideas of what “relaxing” meant, because this was intense. The park Zetsu took her to had a variety of winding trails, and the one they were traveling up now was probably the steepest of them all, going up many deep hills and crevices. Konan was glad she’d brought more than one bottle of water in her small backpack; here she was opening her third one. “How are you not even winded?”, she asked him, as she slugged down the icy coolness. Zetsu merely smiles and takes a drink of his own water. “I do this all the time. For the stuff Nagato has us all doing, there’s really no better way to stay in shape.” Konan has to agree with that, but even without the walking, Zetsu is probably the healthiest person in the house ... and also, possibly, the strangest. He came and went at all hours of the day and night, and the others referred to him as “the spy”. He always had intel on people that Nagato was interested in, and he was a master problem solver, often resolving issues before they even had a chance to become one. He seemed to be the closest to Obito, and the two would spend hours playing chess against each other. Konan rests on her log and stares out at the scenery below, when Zetsu’s voice comes to her from the stillness: “He was a good man.” “Who?” “Yahiko.” Konan turns her head towards him, surprised. “Did you know him??” Zetsu nods. “Yeah. Met him a few times back when Nagato was putting this group together. Nagato — he was always trying to convince your boyfriend to join up. But Yahiko, you know all this just wasn’t his thing. Very peaceful guy. Talked about you so damn much I felt Iike I already knew you on the day I met you.” Konan smiled at that, then stood up. “You know he loved this too. Going for long hikes, I mean. Always tried to get me to go with. Wonder if he’d be proud of me right now — or pissed.” Zetsu laughs at that and puts his hand on Konan’s shoulder, saying, reassuringly, “Proud. Always proud.” The two continue their hike (Konan finds it a bit easier now that she’s rested and more hydrated) and they come across a small pond surrounded by flowers. “Oh!” Konan exclaims, and quickly draws her sketch book out of her pack. “I have to draw those flowers!” Zetsu looked at her, surprised. “I thought you only did Origami? I didn’t know you could draw, too.” “It’s both, kind of. I sketch out flowers that I like so I can try to fold them at home later.” When she’s done, the sun has gotten a bit lower in the sky than either had anticipated, so that hurry back to the entrance of the trails. They get there just as the sun sinks beneath the horizon, and Zetsu, taking hold of Konan’s arm, tells her to look up. She does and gasps; out in the open, and completely free from the lights of the city, the sky is flooded with what seems like millions of gold-silver sparkles. “I never knew there were so many,” Konan says in an awed voice, her eyes eating up her face. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so beautiful in my entire life.” Zetsu just smiles, and takes the opportunity to gently kiss her forehead as he tells her, “The sky is pretty ... but you put it to shame, Konan.” They make light conversation on the car ride home, but Konan’s sleepiness from so much physical exertion catches up to her, and she’s knocked out before they pull in the driveway. Zetsu lifts her out and carries her into the house and to her room, where he gently lays her on top of her covers, before turning off her light and closing the door.

Kisame

“You don’t have to do this.” “I know that; but I don’t mind.” “You don’t think it’s embarrassing?” Kisame shook his head. “How is spending time in the water with a beautiful woman in anyway embarrassing?” Konan sighed and focused on kicking again. It was the next day, and early that morning Kisame had knocked on her door, asking her to accompany him to “his favorite place in the world.” It shouldn’t have been surprising where they ended up; Kisame was one of the most outgoing, talkative members of the house, and one of the first things he and Konan had a conversation about were the many shiny trophies that lined his room shelves. “Swim Team,” he’d said, proudly, when she asked. I joined freshman year in high school, and was captain by junior year. We went to all the tournaments; came in first 4 times in two years.” Today was rather lovely; after watching the stars with Zetsu the night before, seeing the sun come up over the waters at the beach with Kisame was very poetic. Kisame was prepared; he’d brought them towels, sunscreen, magazines, and abundant supply of drinks and snacks. While it was early, it was too chilly to even think about going in the water, but the day very quickly warmed up to the point where Kisame was stripping off his shirt and diving into the water. Konan was genuinely surprised that a man as big as Kisame, as solid and muscular, could be so smooth and graceful in the water. “You don’t want to join me?”, he’d asked, after coming up for the umpteenth time. “The water isn’t really that cold. It’s quite refreshing.” But Konan shook her head and explained, sheepishly, that she’d never learned how to swim. Kisame’s immediate response had been “Let me teach you,” and, although Konan had her misgivings, she allowed Kisame to take her hand and guide her into the water. They started off with very basic exercises, such as Kisame holding her up while she kicked and paddled, and then he explained about balance and breathing and body weight, and “If you feel yourself going under, don’t panic. Work to pull yourself back up. Fight. And you don’t have to worry, because I’ll be right here to help you.” Eventually Konan feels confident enough to swim out a ways from Kisame, and although her head is briefly pulled under the waves she takes his advice, stays calm, and fights her way out from under. Kisame pats her shoulder when she gets back to him, congratulating her. “See? Easy as pie, right?” “It’s easy when you have a great teacher.” The two take a break from the water to eat and bask in the sun. “This must be what heaven feels like,” Konan comments, turning towards where Kisame is laying on his towel beside her. Can I ask you something?” “Yeah?” “You’re so ... big, you know? I would have thought a big guy like you would be a football player, or hockey, or something like that. Why swimming?” “I guess ... because my dad was a swimmer, too,” he answers, sitting up. “It was something, maybe the ONLY something, we bonded over, right? If you think I have a lot of trophies you should see his; he’s got a whole wall of awards from junior high, high school, and college.” Konan nods, going quiet for a bit before saying, “I don’t remember my dad that well. He died when I was four. Mom ... I guess that’s why I like origami such much, because she was a sketch artist. Her specialty was flowers. My drawings are okay but folding is better. Makes sense. Is that how you feel about swimming? It just makes sense to you?” He nods, and the two spend the next half hour in a companionable quiet. Before they leave for the day, they have a lot more fun. They join on opposing sides of a children’s volleyball game, then the kids join Konan in burying Kisame up to his neck in sand. They swim a bit more, Kisame helps Konan collect seashells — before long they’re both tired, and head back home. When they get to the front door, Konan hugs Kisame (and Kisame has to bend quite a ways for her to reach him, and kisses his cheek. “I had a great day with you, Kisame.” He blushes, then asks timidly, if she’s not VERY tired, if she wants to watch a

movie with him in the living room. She agrees, and Kisame makes them popcorn and pops in The Waterboy, which he claims is his favorite movie “of all time, ever.” Halfway through the flick Itachi emerges from his room and joins them, and the three have a pleasant evening with each other.

[elsanna-shenanigans]

August Contest Submission #6: The Burdens of Winning

Words: ca. 6,000 Setting: mAU Lemon: No CW: None

The bus rounded the corner and there they were, the Olympic rings, practically gleaming in the sunlight as if welcoming the busloads of athletes to the world stage. Elsa kept her earbuds in and didn’t move from her seat like so many of the others, whipping out their phones and snapping photos and selfies, crowding the far side of the bus. The trainers and coaches turned a blind eye. There was a pandemic and they should stay apart, but the joy was good for morale and in turn, good for winning. After a few minutes, the athletes settled back into their seats. The energy remained alive, buzzing. Elsa could hear the excited chatter through her music. She sighed heavily and pulled her hood up before leaning her head against the window.

They had been in Tokyo for who knows how many days now. Time outside the pool blended together into a blur. All Elsa knew was that the opening ceremony was tonight and she was being forced to attend. Somewhere in there was a series of interviews and promos as well. The burden of being the female face of the national swim team was heavy and exhausting. Each medal she won, each record she broke, the media demanded more. She hated every moment in front of a camera.

She adjusted her goggles and stepped up onto the block. The entire team was here, practicing. If she was nostalgic, she would have thought of the good old days, being in school, always practicing as a team, the water forever choppy with the various strokes and kicks. But she had no time for that and she actively chose to ignore how lonely her professional training really was. The accumulation of years of practice, countless laps, hours of training in the water, and even more outside of it.

To her right a coach was shouting at various swimmers, calling them by their names. She didn’t bother to meet them or get to know them. A few familiar faces and names, sure, but she didn’t know them really. A lot of the team wouldn’t even qualify into the finals with her, a friendship would just be a distraction and another disappointment in a long line of disappointments.

A whistle blew somewhere to her left, it wasn’t her coach so she remained poised on the starting block. A tall man with wide shoulders entered the water nearly perfectly. He was this year’s star swimmer. He didn’t necessarily win every world event with a gold medal, but he made the podium and the media was desperate for a new face after Phelps hung up his speedo.

Mr. Golden Boy, that’s what Elsa called him in her head. She knew only knew people by their swimming events and times and only if they competed against her. She didn’t know their hobbies, their relationships, their families. A lot of them hung out outside of practice. But she didn’t understand how they had the time. So she just referred to them by nicknames she made up in her head. It was easier, hands-off.

“Take your mark” Elsa’s coach shouted, and she gripped the edge of the block and tensed her muscles. A short burst of a whistle and Elsa was launching forward like a spring.

The water was cold and clear, a mild taste of chlorine crept past her tightly pressed lips but she kept her head tucked between her arms and kicked with both feet. Surfacing in one fluid motion, she broke into her stroke. It was a good dive but it could be better. She swam to the opposite end of the pool and hopped out with ease.

“I want to run the start again,” Elsa said to her coach.

“And I want you to practice your turns, so we’ll do one more dive. Then I don’t want to see you out of this damn pool until our time here is done.” His mouth was covered with a mask but his furrowed brow and bulging neck vein were all too visible.

Elsa took the disposable mask from the volunteer nearby and walked back to the opposite end of the large pool.

“…I reckon I’ll wear the mirrored ones, they’ll look way cooler.” somehow, through all the commotion and noises in the aquatic center, a single voice, with a thick Australian accent broke through.

Elsa looked and saw her rival, Anna Harding standing in the hallway behind the empty stands. She didn’t notice Elsa as she was talking with someone, gesturing wildly with her hands. She was a good distance away and Elsa couldn’t hear what she was saying. How that once sentence broke through, she’ll never know, but it annoyed her.

“Anderson! How hyped are you to be here?” Mr. Golden Boy shouted, he jogged up to walk next to her and waited for a beat for her to answer, never once dropping his wide all-too-white smile. “It’s the Olympics! Show, like, a smidge of emotion.”

“I’ve been here before, I’ll be here again,” Elsa responded, further annoyed now. The two of them had done several interviews together and now the man thought they were friends.

“I like that attitude but dude, live in the moment a bit alright?” He started to lean to nudge her arm but pulled back. Instead, he gave a quick nod and jogged away.

Elsa took her mask off and dropped it in the bin before climbing back on the block and starting the process all again.

No distractions.

~~~

“And it looks like… YES it’s Anderson with the Women’s 400m gold medal! Followed close behind by Australia’s Harding with the bronze going to…”

Elsa stopped listening to the announcers, their voices faded into a sea of various voices in just as many languages. She raised her arm and waved to the cameras. A smile never once crossing her face. A movement to her left caught her attention and she saw the Australian swimmer reaching across the lane rope to shake her hand. Elsa took it and heard the announcers erupt with approval.

“Good on ya mate, I’ll get you in the next one,” Anna said through short breaths.

“I’d like to see you try,” Elsa mumbled as she made her way to the designated exit area on the side. Once out of the pool she was directed to the media ally for various interviews without being given a moment to catch her breath.

A quick glance over and she saw Anna staying with the bronze place winner, talking to a camera.

“Solo or group?” someone was asking her, gesturing towards the camera.

“Solo.” 

~~~

The time between races was long, filled with eating, sleeping, or practicing. Which was normal. The painful part, the one Elsa hated was the time between suiting up and lining up to race. Because of the virus, everything was spaced apart, even the swimmers’ individual entrances took a long time.

Most of the women chatted amongst their teammates or spoke to international friends to pass the time. And a few others, like her, remained seated, hood pulled up and headphones on to block the noise and distraction.

“What’s in your ears?”

Elsa looked up and saw Anna staring at her, she had pulled a chair over and was sitting backward in it. Her chin resting on the chair’s back. Between her mask and swim cap, only her eyes were visible. They seemed to pierce right through Elsa and she didn’t like how that made her feel.

“Oy, blondie, did ya hear me?” Anna asked again tilting her head slightly.

Elsa let out a heavy sigh and took one earbud out. “Can I help you?”

Anna leaned back and held both hands up. “Whoa mate, I’m just tryin for some small talk. You can put down the eye daggers.”

“I’m trying to focus for the race.”

“Ah, I’ll leave you be then. Don’t want to be beating you when you’re distracted.” She stood up and spun her chair around before sitting back down, her back now to Elsa.

 “You and your stupid yellow cap aren’t going to beat me,” Elsa mumbled under her breath as she put her earbud back in.

~~~

“Australia takes the gold! A disappointing loss for Team USA’s Anderson”

Elsa huffed, stared at the scoreboard, refusing to believe the time she was seeing. Anna had beat her and set a new World Record. This was impossible, Anna had never beaten her before.

“Did say I’d get ya in the next one,” Anna said, beaming for the cameras and reaching her hand across to shake. Elsa took it begrudgingly.

Elsa exited the pool and auto-piloted to the media ally. She was stopped by the first news crews, stuffed into a tiny square, they all were wearing masks and face shields. Their eyes seemed to bore into Elsa as a microphone on a pole was shoved towards her face.

“How does it feel to break a world record and clinch the Gold Medal?” The reporter asked.

“It feels amazing! It was such a good race.” Anna said. Elsa somehow didn’t notice her presence before now. “I’ve been working on this for such a long time and to do it here on the Olympic stage is just incredible”

“And Elsa, how does it feel to just narrowly miss the gold and have your long-standing record shattered?”

Elsa shifted into her public face, swallowing down the astounding amount of cuss words that threatened to escape. “I’m thankful to be here to witness history. Harding is a great swimmer, I’m honored to be able to compete against her.”

“The two are set to face off more times over the next few days, I know the folks at home are excited to see the battle for gold.”

The next half an hour went on like this, short interviews with various media outlets from all over the world. Anna’s home country of course got a longer time slot. The entire time Anna walked with Elsa, seemingly refusing to do any interviews solo. It irritated Elsa as she was not able to dip into the locker room and had to do a painfully slow walk of shame through the cameras.

~~~

Elsa slammed into the wall, hard, a wave of water followed after her, splashing, turbulent, and violent. It matched how she felt as she glanced up at the scoreboard and saw her name in first and Anna’s in second. She nearly smiled. But it wasn’t worth smiling when she failed to beat the world record.

And there Anna was once again, reaching across the lane rope to shake her hand. And there too was Anna walking with her down the media ally. Ignoring Elsa’s request to go solo. And the media ate it up, two rivals trading golds and silvers back and forth. It was the perfect sports story.

The next two races ended with Elsa receiving a silver medal. She would be lying if she said she was mad at Anna for beating her both times. The other girl was nothing but kind and supportive. Always taking the time to shake the other swimmer’s hands or hug her teammates when they did well.

It seemed Anna, like Elsa, was her country’s star female swimmer. Just like Elsa, she too couldn’t swim a heat, not even a medal race, without the media stopping her for interviews. These interviews often involved Elsa joining, Anna’s presence next to her was very calming. Anna was a natural at handling the questions, laughing when she needed to, never talking bad about the officials or other swimmers. The more the two of them did interviews together, the more Elsa was able to better play off of Anna. She became more engaged, more relaxed.

The second the pair went their separate ways in the locker room, was the moment all the anger and resentment came bubbling back up in Elsa. She was mad at herself, she was starting to become distracted. She often found herself looking for Anna in the ready room before a race. And she hated how once she found her and Anna gave her a smile and maybe a little wave, she would have a strange feeling wash over her.

Elsa never had time for friends or love, if that’s what this feeling was. She ripped her cap off, pulling a few strands of hair with it, and stepped into the shower, letting the warm water wash off the chlorine and the complex feelings.

~~~

The aquatics center was darker now. It was later in the evening, the media and few spectators had all gone home. Only the lights on the pool and the emergency lights in the stands were on. It gave the place an almost eerie feeling. There were a few other swimmers here, each with their own lane. She was assigned to lane 1, she despised the wall but with the virus raging she had no grounds to argue. There was a small bin with her name and country flag on it. She managed to get two hours, probably due to the late hour. 

Elsa stepping up onto the block and dove in. She came out of the water as if sprinting but quickly slowed her pace. She needed to work her muscles, not strain them.

She fell into a practice rhythm, stroke, stroke, stroke… breathe, stroke. Her legs ever so slightly kicking, she wasn’t worried about her legs, she could turn them on and power forward when needed. It was her arms she was worried about, she made stroke adjustments, high elbow, cupped hands, trying to see what felt right.

As desperately as she tried to focus on the push and pull of the water, her mind wandered away. Maybe she should have tried to befriend some of her teammates. A flip turn. Anna seemed to be having so much fun. Stroke, stroke, breathe. But fun was distracting, and she needed to focus. Stroke, stroke, breathe. No distractions. Another flip turn. Why did her mind keep going to Anna? Stroke, stroke, breathe.

Elsa slowed her pace as she came back to the wall in the deep end of the pool. She had long since lost track of her laps. She left her body slow to a stop and reached up to hold onto the wall.

She exhaled and glanced up at the scoreboard where the clock was. Only 20 minutes had passed. It felt like 2 hours, she was defiantly distracted and it was affecting everything. Her strokes felt off, her mind was clouded. She pushed off the wall and dipped below the surface, letting her body drift down till her feet made contact with the bottom of the pool and her ears popped from the pressure. It was quiet down here. She could look over and see the bodies of other swimmers going back and forth in the other lanes. And all around the bottom of the pool were underwater wires and cameras. They sat dormant now, powered down until the next race.

Elsa kicked off the bottom, surfacing to splashes and kicks and soft voices that carried through the cavernous aquatic center.

“Oh hey, fancy seeing you here.”

Elsa looked up and saw Anna sitting cross-legged on the pool deck of the lane next to hers. She was in a loose-fitting swimsuit, like the type of one-piece suit someone might wear to the beach. Her caps were missing, instead, her long red hair hung freely around her shoulders, she was spinning her goggles around one finger.

“Can I help you?” Elsa responded, already annoyed that the person who was beginning to occupy so much brain space was now a few feet from her.

“Actually, I reckon I can help you,” Anna replied, the ghost of a smirk on her face.

“And how do you propose you can help me?”

“Ah,” Anna put her goggles on, “because I’ve beaten you in the last two races? And we’ve been neck and neck in the others.” In one fluid motion, she slipped into the pool.

Elsa felt like she was seeing red, and it wasn’t just the flowing red locks of the person in the lane next to her.

Anna surfaced laughing, which only further annoyed Elsa. To be so arrogant and to rub it in her face too was taking it too far. “Sorry, I’m just joshing ya. No hard feelings mate.”

There was a pause, a shaky exhale, and Anna added, more softly, “You know I really admire you.”

Now Elsa felt like someone punched her and she was stunned into silence. What was this girl’s deal? Was this some new form of emotional warfare?

“We’ve been swimming against each other for a long time. And maybe it’s the pressure of your third Olympics, maybe it’s all the bull shit from the virus but you’re not you lately.” Anna continued.

Who was Anna to know who Elsa was or wasn’t? Elsa let herself sink slightly so her mouth was just under the surface but she could still breathe through her nose as she tread water. A smarter person would have probably just ignored Anna and continued swimming. But Elsa found herself anchored in place.

“I’m sure you’re questioning why I, of all people, am floating here telling you this. But to me, our rivalry only exists for those seconds when we’re in the water. Outside of that, I think you’re a great swimmer and a good role model. I would like to be your f-friend.”  Anna turned away from her for a second, seemingly distracted by whatever the swimmer in lane five was doing.

“Friend?” Elsa repeated slowly as if trying the word out for the first time.

Anna turned back to her, her head tilted slightly to the side. “Yes, a friend, a mate, a buddy, a pal. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but you don’t seem to have many.”

“I uh…” Elsa started “I don’t have time for friends, I have to focus on swimming.”

Anna lifted a hand out of the water and pointed at Elsa, “Well, as your new friend, that’s the first thing we’re going to work on.”

Elsa really should have restarted her laps and ignored Anna. And she really, really should ignore this excitement that was bubbling in her chest. She couldn’t remember the last time she had a friend, and not someone who she was doing a press tour with or someone who wanted something from her. Then again, maybe Anna wanted something from her too.

But if Elsa was truly, deeply honest with herself, whatever Anna wanted in that moment, she wanted to give it to her. Anna had a pull, a gravity about her and Elsa was trapped in her orbit.

“Alright let me lay it out for you. You do have time for friends because they’re good, help lift you up and motivate you. You, my friend, have completely forgotten why you started swimming in the first place.”

“What? No, I haven’t, I’m still winning.”

“Yea nah, see the fact that you responded that way shows I’m right.”

Elsa frowned but remained where she was.

“So tell me, Elsa, back when you were a kiddo, why did you start swimming?” Anna lifted her goggles up and two ocean blue eyes seemed to penetrate right through Elsa’s shell.

Behind her own mirrored goggles, Elsa closed her own eyes. Shutting the world and Anna out for a moment. Why did she start swimming? It felt like eight lifetimes ago. She really had to dig deep, fuzzy memories of kids playing in the pool. Games of Marco Polo and mermaids. Joining the summer team, playing cards between races. Laughing. She had fun. Before she was scooped up into the USA Swimming training program.

She remembered now, how quickly everything changed. No more summer league, training every day for hours. Before she used to smell of bubble-gum then she shifted and everything was chlorine. Her friends moved on without her.  The clashing of worlds when they could no longer relate to each other. The girls got into makeup and she got into tight-fitting racing suits. The boys started playing Halo and she sat to be measured for custom goggles. After a while, all she had was the pool and her coaches.

Elsa was 15 when made her Olympic debut and now, here in Tokyo, it was her third. In those nearly 10 years she had completely given herself to her sports. It wasn’t that friends were a distraction, it was that she didn’t want to get hurt again.

“Elsa?” Anna asked, breaking the other woman from her thoughts.

Elsa opened her eyes and looked at the Australian. In her loose-fitting casual suit and free-flowing hair, Anna appeared to never forget the fun of swimming. And look where that got her? She was neck and neck, or even besting Elsa. Anna knew everyone on her team and several others from around the world. She greeted everyone like lifelong friends and no one could deny her contagious charisma on camera.

“I started swimming because it was fun and I could hang out with my friends.” Elsa finally admitted out loud.

“I thought you didn’t have time for friends?” Anna replied, that ghost of a smirk reappearing.

“I did back then.”

“And what happened?”

“I went one way and they went another. Our paths never crossed again”

Anna floated forward and hung both arms over the lane rope. “That was back when you were a kid, people grow up and grow apart. That’s as normal as a flower blooming.”

Elsa didn’t respond, she didn’t see the comparison to flowers, not every bud bloomed.

“Just because your old mates ditched you doesn’t mean you can’t make new ones. Especially here with like-minded folks. Now I reckon you haven’t had any fun in a while yeah?”

What are you trying to say"

“I watched you practice for a bit before you noticed me, you’re all in your head and that’s doing no one any good.”

“How did you know it was me?”

“So many questions, you Americans ask so many questions, just live a little.” Anna laughed, “Your name is on the box mate.” She gestured to the box behind the starting block that currently held Elsa’s dry clothes.

“So now you’re stalking me, how did you even get a lane next to me anyway?”

“Again with the questions, I didn’t purposely try, I suppose it’s the universe just pulling us together.” She winked and pulled her goggles back down. Elsa dipped back down into the water just below her eyes to hide the heat rising in her cheeks. “Now a question for you mate, when’s the last time you pretended to be a mermaid?”

The rest of the allotted practice time consisted of the two of them swimming back and forth in their lanes, dolphin kicking, spinning, and splashing each other. Elsa wasn’t sure when or how exactly it happened. One minute they were just swimming and the next they were doing spins and twists and diving down. Anna made some great faces underwater and for once in a long time, Elsa was having fun. She even smiled which only seemed to fuel Anna into further antics.

Elsa left the locker room later feeling lighter and more focused than she had been in years.

~~~

Despite the Olympic events being closed to the public, there was still a sizable audience piled into the aquatics center. Swimmers and other athletes were clustered in the stands by their country. There wasn’t to be any audience at all, but the officials decided some bodies in the stands brought more life to events.

Elsa spotted the US cluster, they were hard to miss in their snow-white outfits and obnoxious red, white, and blue bucket hats. Elsa had yet to put hers on. It was a very ugly hat, but if the team was wearing them maybe she could suck it up for a little bit. Elsa took a deep breath and started up the stairs of the bleachers. She was spotted almost instantly.

“Anderson! Sit with us!” One of her teammates called. Elsa nodded, thankful her mask prevented her from having to fake a smile.

“I’m surprised you’re here but man it’s good to have you.” The girl, whose name was Jan? Jenny maybe? Swam Butterfly, she was the same age as Elsa but this was her first Olympics.

At least Elsa was pretty sure of that. After her practice with Anna last night she had gone back to her room, deciding that she would make an effort to be more present. She stayed up later than she should have, reading through the USA Swimming’s Tokyo roster, putting faces to names and names to events.

Elsa sat down between Jannet, she was sure now, and a backstroker named Sam. They both beamed at her, Sam pulled out his phone to get a photo of the three of them.

“No, no photos,” Elsa started to say but caught herself, “…without our hats!” She said, forcing as much positivity through her words as possible. This earned her a few cheers from the people around them and she mashed the ugly hat on her head as the photo grew to more people.

“I can’t believe we got a photo with Anderson.”

“Dude I know, she’s always training.”

“Bruh this is unreal, tag me in that shit.”

“My mom’s gonna be so excited!”

Various voices from all around her, excited and happy tones. She had been so worried they would be cold towards her, or there would be whispers about why she was here. Instead, her teammates seemed almost welcoming, be it a bit starstruck.

“Are you excited for your race this afternoon?” Elsa asked Sam who seems to nearly implode.

“You know when I swim? Dude this is awesome!”

The hype of Elsa being there finally calmed down and she was able to actually talk with people.. Elsa had the day off from racing today. It was interesting, being a casual spectator instead of studying the strokes. She hadn’t really watched a men’s race in so long, she had forgotten how animated they got when they won. Slapping the water, sitting on the lane ropes, their arms lifted high into the sky as cameras flashed.

During a lull Elsa stood to locate some kind of drink, talking so much was exhausting. She walked into the wide hallway behind the bleachers and saw long red hair clashing with a bright yellow jacket that read AUSTRALIA down the arm in a green font that perfectly matched the pants.

Anna turned as Elsa neared as if pulled by some invisible force. She smiled behind her mask before speaking, Elsa could tell from the creases in the corner of her eyes “You’re here? And not cranking away at the gym? I must be dreaming.”

“I’m here, I was even sitting with my team.”

“They let you sit with them while wearing that hat?” she teased.

“We all have this thing,” Elsa replied, tapping the hat with one finger.

“And you lot say our outfits hurt the eyes.” She reached forward as if to touch Elsa but pulled her hand back after a sideways glance at a nearby volunteer. “I’m really glad you came, I hope you have a good time. I’m coming for you soon though, be ready.”

“I’m always ready,” Elsa responded, the absence of a touch that never was hung heavy in the air and she wished Anna had broken protocol.

“Oh, I know.” Anna winked again and walked off in the opposite direction. Elsa fought the urge to follow her. Team Australia was on the opposite side of the pool and Elsa had no valid reason to go that way and was thus barred from going any further.

Elsa bruised herself by looking at a random floor tile, she didn’t want to get caught staring at someone. So occupied she was that she didn’t see Anna turn back to look at her before rounding the corner.

~~~

Today was the day. The last race of her Olympics, till the next one that is.

Elsa dove into the pool, this was her warm-up period. She was there with a handful of other swimmers, swimming lengths across the wide part of the diving pool while other races took place in the main pool.

Stroke, breathe. Stroke, breathe.

She went at a steady pace and focused on her reach, turning her shoulders and pulling the water back. Today felt better, her strokes felt more fluid, and her mind wasn’t clouded. She let it freely drift from one subject to the next, without dwelling on the angle of her elbows, or how much her hand was scooped. Anna kept drifting to the forefront of her mind and Elsa allowed herself to swim through those thoughts. She decided when she won today, she would do all her interviews with Anna. She was done with doing the media ally solo.

In the blink of an eye, she was sitting in a chair in the ready room. Both caps on, goggles on, only one earbud in. She nodded and waved to anyone she made eye contact with but she didn’t talk to them. She wasn’t going to change completely overnight and she still had to focus.

There was a sudden shift in the energy of the room and Elsa turned her head to see that yellow cap enter the room. Anna sat down in front of Elsa again and turned in her chair.

“So what’s in your ears today eh?”

“Just some bass-heavy EMD music,” Elsa replied.

“Oh didn’t take you for a clubber.”

“I’m not, fast beats just help me focus.”

“Ah, you’re gonna need that today my friend,” Anna once again winked and Elsa was starting to think maybe she wasn’t imagining things. That or Anna had a facial tick and Elsa was completely caught up in a fantasy.

~~

They walked out to the swim floor one by one as they were announced by lane number for the women’s 800-meter freestyle race. Anna was in lane 5 today, Elsa in lane 4. All that stood between her and the podium was 16 lengths of the pool. Elsa stepped up onto the started block and waited.

“Take your mark.” came the far too robotic sounding announcer, followed by a sharp single beep.

Her muscles reacted on instinct and she dove into the water. Kicking, surfacing, and falling into her rhythm. She breathed every few strokes, pacing herself for the final sprint that was still many lengths off. The woman from Japan matched her pace over in lane 3 and Elsa regretted not knowing her name.

A flip turn and now with every breath she could see Anna, her yellow cap a bright beacon above the blue lane rope. She was also matching pace with Elsa, their strokes synchronized, Anna breathed on the left, and every few strokes they looked at each other. It was electrifying.

Another flip turn and Elsa could only see the edge of the Japanese women’s fingers, she was already falling back. But there were many lengths to go for Elsa to maintain the lead.

As she came into the wall an official dipped a number into the pool, letting her know how many lengths she had left. Another flip turn and there was Anna again.

Finally, after many lengths, Elsa and Anna headed towards the wall. Bells rang indicating this was the final lap. They would be coming out of this flip turn in a sprint.

Elsa resurfaced after the turn and began kicking. Harder. She could no longer see the Japanese woman but she had no time to focus on that fact. All that mattered was to get to the wall, turn one last time and slam into home. She could already taste the gold. She could hear the National anthem in all its obnoxiousness.

She turned and exploded off the wall, pulling from every reserve. She wasn’t breathing as often, trying to stay as streamlined as possible. Anna, she could see, was doing the same. They were no longer in sync, swapping the lead back and forth.

They passed the halfway point and Elsa pulled whatever energy she had left. Desperately pulling and kicking at the water. She saw the yellow cap fade in and out of her line of sight. The lane rope shifted to a solid color, the wall was near. This was do or die.

Elsa slammed into the wall at full speed and a wave of water splashed up onto the deck in response. She looked not to the scoreboard but over to Anna. Who, despite being out of breath, smiled at her.

The other swimmers came into the wall around them and Elsa glanced now at the board. She couldn’t believe what she saw

(AUS) Harding A.- 8:12:57

(USA) Anderson E. - 8:13:83

She had lost by the narrowest of margins. Instead of being mad, she turned back to Anna who was already climbing over the lane rope. She hugged Elsa with one arm and pumped the air with the other. Beaming for the cameras.

“Told you I’d get ya,” Anna said in a voice loud enough only for Elsa to hear.

And Elsa didn’t reply. She just smiled, genuinely for the first time in a long time. She gave Anna a hug in return and regrettably let her go to turn to the Japanese women. Giving her a handshake and congratulating her on her race.

When Elsa turned back, Anna was surrounded by other swimmers and the officials were trying to subtly clear the pool without ruining the photos for the press.

Elsa couldn’t remember another time she felt so happy to come in second.

~~~

The Australian anthem  has just finished playing. Anna reached out a hand to first Elsa and then the bronze medalist. Elsa pretended not to notice how Anna’s hand lingered just a few seconds too long in hers.

They posed for pictures together for what seemed like hours before the volunteers were ushering them towards the media. Anna placed a hand on Elsa’s back, ever so slightly, like a question that Elsa could choose to lean into or walk away. She picked the former and Anna’s step seemed to spring a bit as they walked towards their first interview. The woman with bronze had vanished and at the moment Elsa didn’t care, but for an entirely different reason than she usually did.

Finally, the pair entered the locker room, it was surprisingly empty, their medal ceremony was the last of the day, and there weren’t any more races, practice times would start within the hour but for right now, it was quiet.

Anna was first to speak, she removed her mask and smiled at Elsa and Elsa felt her face heat up. She copied Anna, removing the massive mask that obscured most of her face and returned the smile.

“Here, you deserve these,” Anna said, handing Elsa her gold medal bouquet.

“Are those for me?” Elsa said, of course, she had her own bouquet but the gesture and genuine tenderness of Anna made everything more special.

“No they’re for the empty chair behind you, of course, they’re for you.” She paused then added, “Sorry, they’re not orchids or crocuses or roses.”

“I’ve only heard of roses. I know nothing about flowers.”

“Oh well, in that case, enjoy these sunflowers, they bring out the blue in your eyes.”

“Anna?” Elsa asked, nearly whispering the name, she wasn’t brave enough to look into the other woman’s eyes so she stared down at the flowers, they were yellow like all of Anna’s team gear. Elsa decided she liked yellow, and she liked yellow a lot.

“Will you, join me in the dining hall? I want to take you to dinner.”

“Wow in the IOC-provided cafeteria where everything is free? You shouldn’t have.” Anna teased but her tone lacked any malice. She stepped closer to Elsa, closing the gap but still giving her space.

Elsa smirked and found her confidence, “Oh hush, you know that’s our only option.”

“I know, I’m just teasing you.”

A door opened at the other end of the locker room. “Ms. Harding, you’re wanted for an interview please.”

Anna sighed and shook her head, “the burdens of winning I suppose.” She seemed to hesitate for a moment and then leaned in and kissed Elsa on the cheek. She stepped back to allow a shocked Elsa to catch her breath.

“I’ll see you tonight,” Anna said and winked before walking away and through the locker room door to flashing cameras.

Elsa lifted a hand to her face where Anna touched her, closed her eyes, and smiled.

[virtchandmoir]

Ice dance star Tessa Virtue happily out of her comfort zone in Queens EMBA program

November 30, 2020

Canadian Olympic athlete Tessa Virtue poses for a photo at the Olympic Summit in Calgary, Alta., Saturday, June 3, 2017.THE CANADIAN PRESS/Jeff McIntosh

TORONTO -- Tessa Virtue doesn't feel the same sense of exhilaration or rush of adrenaline as she did standing at centre-ice after a gold-medal performance.

At least not on that scale or of that magnitude. And that's okay.

"There are so many things that are making me really content and joyful that were just impossible to experience as an athlete in training," Virtue said. "So, there's sort of something offsetting that where I might not be getting that adrenaline rush, there's so much that I feel passionate about and new goals that I'm striving for - which is both scary and exhilarating."

Virtue and Scott Moir were among the 114 athletes, artists, scholars and community leaders named to the Order of Canada on Friday. They're the most decorated ice dancers in history, capturing five Olympic medals, including a pair of ice dance gold in 2010 and 2018.

Virtue is swamped with school work these days as part of Queens University's Executive MBA program - one of the new pursuits that's pushed her out of her comfort zone.

She's typed out frantic text messages to retired Paralympic swimmer Ben Huot - who graduated from Queens' EMBA program - saying, "Have I made a mistake? What am I doing?" she laughed. "(Huot) been so wonderfully supportive.

"But I am so happy I did it. And it's an extraordinary cohort, everyone is so impressive and has accomplished such wonderful things and in such diverse spheres, and so the conversations are so exhilarating, and especially right now, I'm so grateful to have the chance to sort of expand my mind."

Virtue spent the first few months of the pandemic living in North Vancouver with boyfriend and Toronto Maple Leafs defenceman Morgan Rielly. The power couple joined Arkells frontman on an Instagram live stream back in March. They appeared virtually on the Great Kitchen Party: Home Edition a month later.

The couple is back living in Toronto now, and recently purchased a puppy they named Zoe.

Virtue and Moir's captivating free dance to music from "Moulin Rouge" in Pyeongchang will endure as one of the greatest Olympic figure skating performances ever. Just one of the numerous YouTube streams has over 1.3 million views.

But Virtue has barely watched it.

"I've seen parts of it here and there. And I love the feeling that it evokes in me," she said. "I'm still so proud of that moment of course. But I can't decide if it feels like it was yesterday or honestly if I feel just a few lifetimes away from it. So, it's like that disconnect, right, where I kind of hold onto the feeling that we had when the program ended.

"And when we reflect together, so much of our sporting life just seems so fresh that I'm sure there hasn't been enough time for perspective, right?"

Virtue and Moir, from Ilderton, Ont., competed for two decades. Earning Order of Canada honours, she said, was an honour that had her reflecting on their early days.

"This is not something we would have ever known to even dream for. We weren't seven and nine (years old) cruising around the ice together talking about this, it seemed unfathomable," she said. "And yet, we watched so many of our friends and peers along the way receive this incredible honour. I just feel humbled, and just so, so honoured."

Virtue talked by telephone Sunday before appearing virtually on Hayley Wickenheiser's "WickFest: Female Hockey Festival," calling a few minutes early to ensure she wouldn't have to duck out too soon.

Olympic athletes, both active and retired, have been front and centre in the battle against the global pandemic. Wickenheiser, of course, teamed up with actor Ryan Reynolds and others for "Conquer COVID-19," an initiative that delivered much-needed personal protective equipment to hospitals. Numerous other athletes have hosted virtual practices, information sessions, etc. for Canadian kids.

"It can be underestimated, I guess, what that kind of mentorship or connection with an athlete does," Virtue said. "I think about those kids watching the next Olympics and how invested they'll be and it's pretty neat to share that."

The international figure skating schedule has been a bust since last March when COVID-19 forced cancellation of the world championships in Montreal.

Keegan Messing is the only Canadian to have competed so far this season (Skate America). Skate Canada International was scrapped, and if Stockholm, Sweden does manage to host the world championships in March - organizers want to host it in a "bubble" - there's no guarantee Canada will even go because of lack of preparation, quarantine restrictions, etc.

"I think there's a caveat to everything in that it offers great perspective. You realize just how seemingly insignificant ice dance can be or skating," Virtue said. "But at the same time, in their relative spheres, and as far as their goals and pursuits go, it's huge to miss out on one competition, let alone a season.

"I think just changing that benchmark of knowing when to prepare for something, how a peak, how to maximize your time, the unknown, the uncertainty, like so many people are facing, must be really challenging. And my heart goes out to (the skaters)."

—The Canadian Press

[theparanormalperiodical]

Top 10 Scariest Horror Films You Didn't Know Were Based On A TRUE Story feat. Trailers + Where To Watch

There’s something about horror films that are based on real events that just make me weak.

So weak, in fact, I’ve decided to spend the last *checks watch* one and a half years of my early 20s delving into the facts and the fiction haunting the horror genre. 

My parents must be so proud.

Most of these films wear the badge of ‘this is reality or close enough to it, anyway’ with dignity, leveraging gullible paranormalists like me to drive ticket sales. The Conjuring (2013) is just one of these films that is explicit in its basis in reality, going on to rake in 16 times its budget and inspiring me to delve deeper into my occultist journey.

(No, really, they’re so proud.)

But the ventures of Ed and Lorraine Warren are not the only experiences of horrifying and haunting events to be reinterpreted via the silver screen. There are some horror films you wouldn’t expect to have reality flushing through their veins.

Some of horror’s biggest hitters aren’t just living in your nightmares. They actually happened IRL.

Which is, ummm, fine, yeah, it’s not like I need to sleep anyway.

*Stay tuned to discover the horror films you didn’t know were based on true stories and the real accounts that inspired them.*

Jaws (1975)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1fu_sA7XhE 

This cinematic classic follows the adventures of a great white shark as it terrorises the summer resort town of Amity. A couple of corpses later, and the local police chief, rookie marine biologist, and wild-card shark hunter track the beast down themselves.

Most horror films use a person or a story as a basis for a film. Jaws, however, is an amalgamation of experiences recorded by the writer of the novel inspiring the film, Peter Benchley.

Benchley admittedly had a life-long obsession with sharks and was inspired to write a book on a rogue great white after reading about a bloke called Frank Mundus.

"...in 1964, I read an item in a newspaper about a fisherman who harpooned a 4,500-pound great white shark off Long Island. I remember thinking at the time, Lord! What would happen if one of those monsters came into a resort community and wouldn't go away?”

Quint, the wild card shark hunter, was based directly on Mundus.

Another influence, although not referenced by Benchley, was the 1916 New Jersey shark attacks.

In high summer, five Americans were attacked by a great white off the coast of the Jersey Shore with 4 falling victim to their wounds. For the next 11 days, the same shark cruised along the 70 miles of the beach towns and small villages. The shark even performed the first shark attack reported in US history, countering the long-standing belief that sharks couldn’t bite through human bone.

(Spoiler alert: they can.)

When beach goers came to the beach early morning to discover the 3rd victim bitten in half, this was disproven. After that discovery - which bares a striking resemblance to the opening scenes of Jaws - the story hit The New York Times front page.

Just like the film the mayors tried to deny there was a deadly shark making the rounds to secure profit to their seaside resorts. And just like the film a swimmer was even mauled in an estuary.

It wasn’t long before they settled on the identity of the perpetrator and the locals set off with rifles and pitchforks.

(Not sure how useful they’d be against a shark, but okay.)

The shark met its end after it attacked one of the hunters’ boats, a scene we also witness in the film.

You can rent it for £2.50 on Amazon Prime.

Deliver Us From Evil (2014)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWDM_p68HAQ

We follow a policeman who has a side gig as an exorcist as he encounters strange goings on in the Bronx. Ralph Sarchie chases up the paranormal activity and attempts to untangle why possessed people are painting ancient messages and images in various places.

Here’s the thing: none of this actually happened. As far as we know, anyway.

What this film is based on is the real Ralph Sarchie who wrote the memoir Beware The Night as an ode to his work as a demonologist. It’s based on his character, his tone of voice, and how he carried out his work.

Sarchie presents his work as his destiny, as some form of divine intervention he believes was signalled by his survival of a severe illness he contracted when he was 10.

He claims to carry a splinter of the ‘true cross’ - I guess the one Jesus actually died on - and considers himself more of a priestly figure armed with relics and holy water than a paranormal investigator.

Sarchie has worked on many possessions and hauntings, claiming he didn’t charge a cent despite the high fee he probably got from the book sales and the film’s debut. The most famous tale is that of the ‘Halloween Horror’:

A woman named Gabby began to see a woman floating in a cloud of white smoke in the corner of her bedroom. It wasn’t long before this smoky woman began to speak through Gabby according to her partner Dominick.

Gabby’s friend then says this was the ghost of a woman murdered on her wedding night. She then apparently saw the spirit of her father. Activity followed with flying books, moans and growls, and the word ‘HELP’ written on the mirror. Eventually an incubus rocks up and is hell bent on attacking various family members.

When Gabby gets possessed in the presence of Sarchie and his paranormal-busting-partner, he exorcises her of the spirit.

In total, Sarchie has assisted in 25 exorcisms and hundreds of ‘house exorcisms’.

You can watch it for free on Netflix.

The Blob (1958/1988)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdUsyXQ8Wrs

*cue the canned screams*

In some rural town in America, a meteorite crashes to the ground. Someone investigates and a jelly globule attaches itself to their hand before consuming it. It then begins to consume their entire body. It’s not long before it starts to consume, well, everyone and everything in its path.

8 years before the horror icon first became a cult classic, two police officers in Philadelphia saw something float down from the sky. They thought it was a parachute and decided to investigate.

What they discovered was a six feet wide purple glob of odourless gloop. It was filled with crystals and gave off a mist. One of the police officers took the plunge - quite literally - and dipped a hand in. He kept the hand, but noticed the sticky residue left on his hands.

The gloop quickly disappeared and left the grass underneath it unbent. It was allegedly only there for 25 minutes. They were the only ones that saw it. It soon made its way into the press and the FBI asked the Air Force to investigate. They declined.

You can watch it for £3.50 on Amazon Prime.

Wolf Creek (2005)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8S13W69FQhs

Two British tourists are backpacking across Australia when they run into trouble in Wolf Creek National Park. A helpful local offers to help fix their broken down car and provide some shelter. Turns out the helpful local is actually a psychopathic xenophobic murderer. He entraps tourists, lures them to his shelter, and tortures/kills them.

Most gory horror films can be compared to real life murders and other crimes. Unfortunately, even the most imaginative forms of torture or murder has probably already happened. But the film was directly based on the backpacker murders committed by Ivan Milat in the 90s.

Milat murdered 7 people aged 19 to 22, preying on those encouraged to backpack across Australia after several tourism campaigns revealed how cheap and easy it was. In ‘92 and ‘93 the bodies were discovered in Belanglo State Forest with the wounds and injuries suggesting the scenes played out in film were similar to those Milat committed.

In late ‘93 a force dedicated to hunting the unknown killer emerged. It used gym memberships, gun licensing, and police records to narrow down a list of 32 suspects.

It was only when Paul Onions, a British backpacker reported he was nearly murdered near Belanglo State Forest that the police could pinpoint that Milat.

You can watch it for £2 on Amazon Prime.

Open Water (2004)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9q1qJi1nMs

It’s everyone’s worst nightmare: being left in the middle of the ocean. A distant couple decide to take a relaxing break and head out for a scuba-diving vacation. Their holiday is ruined, however, when the guy driving the boat f*cks up the head count and thinks everyone is back on board after a diving sesh. The couple come back to the surface and discover the boat is gone.

Yep, this all happened in real life.

In 1998, Thomas and Eileen Lonergan went on a scuba diving trip to Australia’s Coral Sea. They were mistakenly stranded by the boat crew leading the dive and their absence wasn’t noticed until 2 days later when a bag containing their belongings was discovered.

The crew and other rescue teams searched the area but did not discover their bodies. Personal belongings were found.

A diver’s slate - a device for communicating underwater - was one of these items.

"Monday Jan 26; 1998 08am. To anyone who can help us: We have been abandoned on A[gin]court Reef by MV Outer Edge 25 Jan 1998 3pm. Please help to rescue us before we die. Help!!!"

The other items that washed up, including a wetsuit, suggested they had probably not fallen victim to shark attacks but had become disoriented, dehydrated, or injured by coral. Alternate theories claim it may have been a murder-suicide to avoid the slow, distressing death of being left at sea, or that it was a faked death/disappearance. No bank accounts had been tampered with, however.

Tougher regulations for scuba-diving in Australia shortly followed their disappearance.

You can watch it for free on Amazon Prime.

The Rite (2011)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hG3ktopqv8

We follow exorcist-in-training Father Gary Thomas as he navigates the loss of this faith. When the opportunity for fighting growing demonic possessions arises, Thomas decides to become an exorcist. We see Thomas as he is confronted by evil and reaffirms his devotion to God.

Portrayed by veteran actor Anthony Hopkins, Father Gary Thomas is a real American exorcist - one of the 14 Vatican-verified exorcists working State-side. He did in fact study in the Vatican to become an exorcist, and another student he met there would chronicle his experiences in the book The Rite: The Making of a Modern Exorcist.

Thomas even spent a week on set advising the director, utilising his experiences of the 100 odd people he had seen possessed in his career.

Just like in the film, Thomas echoes that most people that come to him for an exorcism have been abused in their past, linking mental health issues to demonic attachment. Thomas also has a lot of praise for the film, claiming the way those possessed moved in a serpentine way is accurate to those he has seen:

“I was beginning to do some deliverance prayers. Within a few minutes she began to tremor and her facial countenance began to change. You saw a snake. She began sticking her tongue out like a snake and hissing and rolling her eyes. She coiled herself up.”

- Father Gary Thomas on a possessed Venezualan woman

You can watch this on Amazon Prime for £2.50.

The Silence Of The Lambs (1991)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6Mm8Sbe__o

Anthony Hopkins refers to a staple horror film - a film with truth spilling like blood from a bloated corpse…

This psychological horror sees an FBI trainee as they work with an imprisoned serial killer to hunt down a murderer, Buffalo Bill. Add in just a dash of transphobia and we arrive at the film that made my parents actually walk out of the cinema when they first saw it.

First, let’s talk about Hannibal Lecter and his role as an advisor to the FBI: this has actually happened, using a seasoned killer to catch another. The most famous example of this is none other than Ted Bundy, one of the most infamous in history. Bundy told investigators to stake out the graves of victims or the places where bodies had been dumped as necrophiles like himself would return to the site.

Bundy actually helped them catch Gary Ridgeway who killed an estimated 90 people.

Now let’s turn to Buffalo Bill. The characters were never directly inspired by real people but their crimes were. He was an amalgamation of other crimes with Ed Gein serving as the main inspiration. Ed Gein, most known for skinning his victims and wearing the skins, took 9 lives and would also inspire the character Norman Bates.

He would make clothing out of body parts, make soup bowls from dug-up skulls, and build chairs from human bones.

Ted Bundy even made another appearance in Buffalo Bill’s character in terms of how he lures his victims, acting hurt and helpless until the victim was just within reach.

You can buy this film on Amazon Prime for £8.

Scream (1996)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWm_mkbdpCA

This satirical slasher redefined the genre, putting comedy firmly into horror as we know it. It follows Sidney Prescott, a preppy high school student, as she navigates high school drama and a rampant serial killer.

Just like The Silence Of The Lambs, the crimes witnessed in Scream had basis in reality. Daniel Rolling - the Gainesville Ripper - was an American serial killer who murdered 5 students in Florida within the short span of 4 days back in 1990.

Rolling would sexually assault, rape, threaten, and kill his young victims before leaving them in ‘sexual’ positions. He even decapitated one of those murdered and left the head on the shelf opposite the rest of the body amongst other vile acts. He later claimed his motive was to become a ‘superstar’ like Ted Bundy.

Yeah, that’s enough of that.

You can watch this on Amazon Prime for £2.50.

The Hills Have Eyes (1977/2006)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUQd9OB75dw

It’s time to hear about another vacay gone cray-cray. In the middle of a roadtrip to California, a family’s car breaks down in a mysterious area closed off to the public and they encounter a strange community of cannibals.

Instead of being based on modern crimes that hit far too close to home, this film is based on a historic event - or the legend of Sawney Bean.

Bean was a mythical leader of a cannibalistic group of insurgents in the 16th century. He grew up in a community of witches and later began his own community full of his children which he expanded with rampant incest. They would leave traps and eat their prey in a cave.

The King of Scotland, James VI, even led a team to root the family out of their lair. According to legend they were burnt at the stake while others were hung.

This tale also bears similarities to urban legends from Russia: there is a trope in the Southern Urals which claims after the Chernobyl accident irradiated peoples would become savage peoples, echoing the nuclear testing themes shown by the film.

You can watch this on Amazon Prime for £2.50.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1978)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKn9QIaMgtQ

In this cult class gore-fest we see a group of friends visit an old homestead but instead run into a family of murderous cannibals.

Yet again the crimes of Ed Gein make an appearance. The friends walk in on a home full of furniture made of human remains and meet a man - Leatherface - wearing a mask made of human skin. We also witness various people butchered in different brutal ways.

But this film also has a more political inspiration. Tobe Hooper - the director, producer, and writer - pinned his inspiration on changes in the cultural and political landscape, focusing on misinformation that overran America during the 70s.

*looks into camera a la Jim from The Office*

Hooper pinned the claims of a true story onto the film, responding to how he felt he was being lied to by the government regarding things like Watergate, the 1973 Oil Crisis, and the Vietnam War. The news only confirmed the brutal acts of humanity.

"man was the real monster here, just wearing a different face, so I put a literal mask on the monster in my film".

You can watch this for free on Amazon Prime.

Well that was, uhh, fun?

If you enjoyed these traumatic discoveries - you know, that some of the most terrifying horror films of all time are based on real people and crimes - then make sure you like ‘n’ reblog to let me know.

I post a new article on horror and the paranormal every Saturday + a new real ghost story everyday so make sure you hit follow to tag along for the ride!

[simsadventures]

Baby Fever

Summary: You and Bucky desperately try for a baby. One day, a spirit comes to bless the union.

Warnings: myths, Deer Woman/Lady, enchanted forest, smut (MUST BE 18+ TO READ THIS STORY), fluff, swearing

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2549 A/N: This little something was written for the best of the best, @waiting4inspiration​ and her Myths and Legends Challenge. There are many different explanation for the Deer Woman, a Native American myth, and I’ve chosen to only concentrate on the good characteristics (fertility, love, etc.). She is also believed to be luring cheating men to their deaths, but that’s not where I’m taking the story.

Hope you all will enjoy it, even if it’s a little different to what I normally do. Let me know! xx

Bucky Barnes Masterlist __ Masterlist

Baby Fever II

It was a stressful morning for you. You were currently sitting on the lid of the toilet, counting seconds before you heard your timer telling you that it was already a minute. You would’ve thought it was the longest minute you’ve ever experienced, but, truth be told, it was just one of many. This was the 7th pregnancy test you were taking, and you had the feeling, that just like the rest of them, this one would also be negative. But there still was a string of hope in your heart, and you decided to stick to that.

Bucky was behind the doors, probably waiting as nervously as you were for the results. You both have already been to the fertility doctors, and they told you that while everything was perfectly fine with your eggs, Bucky’s swimmers were not as active, despite his physique.

He knew it would be a chance after all those tests and experiments Hydra did on him, but until he met you, he never thought it would ever be an issue, having kids. He was the Winner Soldier, who would want children with someone like him?

You did. So so much.

And the longer it was that you couldn’t get pregnant, the more you wanted it. Ever since you met Bucky, you knew you’d want a family with him one day. There were other options, of course. But you just wanted to try a few more times before abandoning your dream of carrying a child on your own.

Bucky even suggested one night that maybe you should have a sperm-donor and that way it would work perfectly, but you dismissed this idea altogether. It was either with Bucky or not at all, you were dead-set on it.

When the timer buzzed, you got up on your shaky legs and walked towards the sink. You took a deep breath and turned the stick in your hand to see the result.

Your heart fell.

Only one fucking line, again. You sighed and felt tears streaming down your face again. At that moment, you could hear the door to the bathroom opening, and before you could do anything, Bucky was cradling you in his arms. The look of pure agony on his face at seeing you so upset because he couldn’t deliver. He hated this. He vowed to make you happy and to protect you, to give you all you’ve ever wanted.

But he obviously couldn’t give you this one thing, and it tore his heart apart. You were the last person he wanted to disappoint, but lately, it seemed it was the only thing he was doing.

Before he could overthink too much, you touched his cheek and made him look down at you.

“Stop. I can see your thoughts pretty clearly, and I’m telling you, stop it. It’s not your fault, I’m not putting any blame on you, and I’m sure, not disappointed with you, Bucky. I love you and that is why I want a family with you. If it doesn’t go this way, then we can adopt. I’m fine with that. More than fine actually. All I want is for us to be happy, and we obviously aren’t stressing about this so much. Let’s just stop trying, and maybe it will come one day.”

You smiled up at him, the tears now drying on your beautiful face, and Bucky couldn’t believe his won luck. There you were, the woman of his dreams letting him known of your undying love. He kissed you fiercely, passionately, trying to convey all the emotions he was feeling in this one kiss.

When you both felt like you needed air more than you needed to reassure each other, you pulled away, but only so slightly that your foreheads were touching.

“I love you, doll. More than anything, and I’ll give you a baby, one way or another,” he said in a hushed voice, still panting slightly from the lack of oxygen.

You giggled and kissed the top of his nose before you turned around and threw the stick to the garbage. No more of this nonsense, you decided, and a weight fell off your heart.

—-

Weeks after that, your life improved drastically. No longer hung over the whole pregnancy-thing, you and Bucky could finally fully enjoy sex again, and, oh boy, were you going at it.

The appetite was back and it no longer felt like a chore to neither of you. You felt as if you were back to the beginnings of your relationship, where Bucky would take you any time of a day, just because he felt like it, on any surface of the apartment. You usually woke up sore from the amount of sex you had the previous night, and the glow returned to your cheeks.

The whole team noticed that you both seemed much happier and your steps were lighter than two months ago, and despite not knowing what the cause was, they were all ecstatic for you.

Even after particularly draining mission in India, you two came back smiling at each other. Bucky felt like a teenager again, looking at you with amazement. Not once have you two talked about babies or pregnancy, or vitamins, or anything like that in the last two months, and you honestly did look that much happier now. So he wanted to take you somewhere to appreciate you properly.

Bucky knew that he couldn’t take you to a proper vacation, not with so many Hydra bases still standing, but a few day getaway wouldn’t do anyone any harm. And if you were still on the US soil, you could be with the team in a matter of a few hours, should they need you two.

There were so many options, and it took Bucky (well, and Steve and Sam, because let’s be honest, Bucky felt still a little better with the help of his two friends) a good few hours to actually settle on some destination. He even asked Tony if he didn’t own some kind of cottage somewhere in the woods, anywhere in the US, and when Tony gave him the list of places he could let Bucky and you use for the weekend, and he combined it with the places he actually liked, he finally picked something.

Great Lakes area.

Bucky knew you’ve been there only briefly once when your parents were still alive, and you had fond memories of the place.

And because you had no idea what he was preparing, he wanted to keep the moment of surprise till the two of you landed near Tony’s cottage. Or a villa. Or mansion, or whatever it was Tony actually had there.

—-

The day finally came, and Bucky only told you to pack something a little warmer, but that was it. You, always the curious one, tried to pry for information, but despite Bucky being the one to always tell you everything because he couldn’t resist your charm, this time he was like a fortress. He didn’t even let you look at the destination he put into the GPS in the quinjet.

You were sitting next to Bucky, pouting like a little child, not willing to talk to him because you just NEEDED to know where you were going.

“Relax, doll. We’ll be there soon enough, and you’ll see for yourself,” Bucky mumbled, leaning from his chair towards you to kiss your hair.

You let him, of course, and you huffed.

Bucky just laughed at your childish behaviour and continued to be his relaxed self, which only irked you more.

It was when you finally saw the vast water reservoir in front of you and saw that there were so many of them, that it all dawned on you. You looked at Bucky, who was already watching your reaction, and squealed loudly.

“Is this what I think it is?”

“Well, I’m not sure what you think it is, but, probably? I know how much you enjoyed it here with your parents and I wanted to give you another great memory of this place. This time around, more sex will probably be involved.” Bucky said, laughing at you rolling your eyes at him playfully, still smiling.

When the plane finally landed on Tony’s property, you all but ran out of it to see the whole beauty of the place for yourself. Bucky walked behind you, both of your bags in his hands, and he had to stop and take it all in.

The sun was high up, the nature was awake and singing, and among all this, there you were. You looked like a vision, even in your jeans and sweater. Bucky dropped the bags and ran to you, lifting you off the ground in a bride style, and twirled you around.

The surprised and happy giggles that escaped your lips were music to his ears.

“You like the surprise, Y/N?”

You gave him a kiss for an answer and beamed at him.

When he let you down, you both strode towards the house in front of you, which, to Bucky’s surprise, was a really cozy cottage, and not some crazy high-tech mansion.

The second you looked around the place, you turned around to face Bucky with a smirk plastered on your face.

“How about we go for a little walk? You know, explore the nature here, maybe have a little quickie in the forest, or something, huh?”

Bucky laughed, but pecked your lips, and dragged you out of the house. The image of you pinned against a tree with him pounding into you was motivation enough. He could already feel his cock twitching with interest, and he couldn’t wait to find some secluded place to take you.

You were walking hand in hand, chatting about nothing in particular, just enjoying the closeness between the two of you, while you were getting deeper and deeper into the woods. The whole setting seemed to have changed, there being more and more broad-leaved trees around, with also the temperatures rising significantly, to the point where you had to take your sweater down, and Bucky his leather jacket.

But neither of you really paid attention to it. The only thing that was important at the moment was that you were far away from any peeping Toms in the area.

Bucky saw a tree he like in particular and didn’t waste a second by pushing you against it roughly, cradling your face in his hands and kissing you with fervour. You responded immediately by giving him full access to your mouth, submitting to him fully.

You moaned when he pinched your nipple through your shirt and got to work yourself. You undid his belt and his zipper, finding that he went commando.

You opened your eyes, staring at his already smirking face and raised an eyebrow at him.

“What? I knew I’d want you and it’s just easier this way,” he said, but his voice was muffled by his mouth attacking your neck, and his hands trying to get into your own pants. To his utter surprise, you had the exact same idea as him, and he found you bare under the pair of jeans.

He laughed heartily.

“You’re the one to act surprised, sweetheart. Damn, I even wished you wore a skirt so I could just push it up your thighs and take you straight away.”

“Patience is a virtue, Buck. It will be that much sweeter when you actually pull those pants off of me.”

He smirked and kneeled in front of you, peeling them off, and kissing the skin that was revealed to him by every tug by his hands.

You were wet already, and without the barrier of your panties, he could see the wetness marking your thighs, and he couldn’t wait. He stopped his movement at your ankles, and without a word, he licked your dripping pussy.

The sound that left your mouth was loud enough to wake up any sleeping animal in the woods, but you were far too gone to care. All you wanted was to feel Bucky’s wet tongue in you.

But he didn’t give you much. He just groaned into your core, sending shivers down your spine, and then he pulled away, despite your whines of protest.

“Don’t worry, love. Imma eat you out like never before when we get back, but right now, I just need to be inside you.”

As he said it, he finally freed you off the jeans and stood up, kissing you once again, and could feel his very hard member stroking through your folds.

You bucked your hips, driven purely by the need you felt in your core and the love you felt for Bucky.

He obeyed immediately, his cock catching in your entrance before he gave a hard thrust to be fully sheeted in you.

The gasps and moans were the only things that could be heard around you, and they were loud enough that you didn’t pay much attention to what was happening around you.

From behind one of the trees, a beautiful doe stepped out, her big brown eyes following the limited movements of your bodies against the tree.

You felt as if you were being watched, and when you opened your eyes, you could see her there, just standing, watching. There was something almost human about that doe, but before you could think about it too much, Bucky hit your g-spot precisely, and he had you crying out in pleasure.

Despite the loud noises, the doe was still there.

What you didn’t, and couldn’t know was that you were already on the territory of the Potawatomi tribe, and the deer standing there was not a regular deer.

It was the Deer Woman, the phantom of fertility and love, in which mainly the Native Americans believed, and which was, obviously, very much real.

She watched the two of you in her animal form, feeling the love and adoration you were feeling towards each other surround her and tell her all she needed to know about the two of you. She smiled inwardly, loving the strength of your emotions. She could also feel a specific loss deep inside you, and when she looked well enough, she could see the problem.

And as she was feeling rather generous, she wished the nature and the universe to bless you, to give you the strength to carry a child and send a wave of this blessing towards you.

It felt as if a warm wind hit your insides. It was comfortable, and you credited it to the pleasure you were feeling thanks to your husband.

You were gasping, chanting Bucky’s name over and over again until you climaxed around him, your walls pulsing vigorously trying to milk him of everything he had. And it didn’t take long before Bucky followed your suit, shooting this cum into your warm and ready womb.

When you opened your eyes again, the deer was gone. You smiled to yourself, and let the image of the animal watching you go, feeling a little ashamed that there actually was somebody there, peeping on the two of you.

You two quickly grabbed your clothes and walked briskly out of the woods, the quickie tiring you both.

Little did you know that this trip to the enchanted forest would change your lives forever, in exactly 9 months.

Disclaimer: some places are totally made up, like the “enchanted forest”, for example, but the tribe of Potawatomi is very much real, and it is in this tribe (among many others) that the myth of Deer Woman appears, and they are indeed, to a certain extent present settled around the Great Lakes area. Just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page here :) xx

Bucky Taglist

@this-kitten-is-smitten​ @sebbbystaaan​ @paradisiacalsparks​ @crazybutconfidentaf​ @owlyannah​ @lassini​ @s-trawberryv-eins​ @reniescarlett​

Marvel Taglist

@voltage-my2dlove​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @lumar014​ @ptrs-prkrs​

Forever Tag:

@eileenalone​ @sasbb23​ @p8tn0lish​ @coffeebooksandfandom​ @waiting4inspiration​ @caswinchester2000​ @mogaruke​ @justthatfangirloverthere​ @mushyjellybeans​ @livsheph​

[samsexualdeancurious]

Accidental Happiness | Part Two

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Words: 3,035

Summary: Sams being overprotective and Y/N decides on a midwife.

Warnings: Pregnancy, non-graphic description of labor.

Betaed by @manawhaat. Written for @saxxxology's October Angel request.

---

You pause at the top of the kitchen steps, rubbing your palm against your belly, and then move to start down the two steps.

“Hey, hey, let me help you.”

You can’t help an eye roll as Sam appears at your side, one hand on your back and the other hand on your elbow as he helps you down into the kitchen.

“Do you want to sit down?” he asks, already steering you towards the nearest seat. “Here, sit down. I’ll make you something for lunch.”

You sink into the kitchen chair, more than happy to get off your aching feet. You’re only just starting to really look pregnant at going on five months but you’re definitely feeling it. At least the morning sickness is over. Now you’re getting into craving territory, though you haven’t been craving anything too strange - no pickles in ice cream or whatever weird shit people joke about pregnant women wanting. You know Sam wouldn’t stop you from satisfying those cravings if you had them, but he definitely wouldn’t be happy about it. While you love your boyfriend to death, he’s taking ‘protective father-to-be’ to a whole new level.

“You need to eat more veggies,” Sam is saying, rummaging through the fridge in search of something to make for you. “And of course we don’t have any.”

“That’s because you keep feeding them all to me,” you grumble. “I want a burger. With cheese. And bacon. And fries.”

Sam makes a face. “But you need good, healthy meals. Lots of leafy greens, lean proteins, you know. If you’re craving red meat ‘cause it has iron or something, why not just eat spinach?”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, I know. You’ve been telling me for months.”

He doesn’t seem to hear you, emerging from the freezer with a triumphant sound and a package of frozen salmon in one hand. You groan at the sight and he drops the fish onto the counter, rushing to your side.

“Is everything okay?” he asks, crouching beside you with one hand on your belly.

“Will you stop fucking touching my stomach?” you growl, knocking his hand away.

Sam flinches back with an expression like a kicked puppy and you immediately feel bad.

“I’m sorry,” you sigh. “I just don’t want to be touched like that right now.”

Sam flushes, rising. “Sorry. I didn’t realize.”

You reach out one hand to grab his closest one. “Sam, baby. I love you but right now I also want to kick your ass.”

“I just want you and the baby to be healthy,” he murmurs.

You tug him down so you can kiss him softly. He braces his free hand against the kitchen table and returns the kiss. “I know and I love that about you. But I also would love it if you gave me a little room to breathe. I’m not made of glass. I can get down two steps on my own. I can walk across the kitchen on my own. You don’t have to hover over me every moment of every day.”

He starts to speak but you silence him with another kiss.

“You’re just stressing yourself out. I will let you know when I need help,” you promise him. “And one burger, cooked through, with some cheese, fresh lettuce and tomato, a few slices of bacon, and a healthy serving of fries isn’t going to do me or the baby any harm. I’m even willing to eat a salad on the side if you want to throw one together. Maybe something with Italian dressing?”

“We don’t have any of the veggies I would need,” Sam says quietly.

“Well,” you pat his cheek. “I don’t think we have any of the things for burgers, either. Sounds like you need to go grocery shopping. Have Dean go with you. Take your time. Go find a used bookstore, play a round of pool, something to get you out of the house for more than thirty minutes. Then go grocery shopping and come home so Dean can make me one of those delicious burgers.”

Sam hesitates and then nods, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You’ll be fine here with Cas and Rowena?”

“You know I will be. Cas is too excited about being an uncle to let anything happen to me and Rowena wouldn’t dare, not if she wants to still have access to the library.”

He chuckles, straightening up. “Good point. Make me a grocery list, then.”

“Go get me something to write it on,” you respond, poking his hip.

“I thought you weren’t made of glass,” he teases even as he moves to fetch the notepad and pen Dean keeps by the fridge for grocery lists.

“Listen. My feet hurt.” You take the items from him. “Now that I’m sitting down, I’m not getting up until I have to.”

“Which means until you need to pee.”

You shake the pen at him. “Whose fault is that?”

He leans gently against your back, folding over you to see the list as you write it. “Last time I checked, it takes two to tango.”

“You’re the one with the super swimmers that beat my birth control.”

“I really didn’t need to hear that,” Dean grumbles as he enters the kitchen, making a face.

“If you don’t know how babies are made, that’s not my fault,” you shoot back, grinning as you finish off your list. “I’ve got a chore for you boys.”

You tear the list off the notepad and hold it up. Sam moves to take it but Dean gets there first.

"Groceries?" he whines.

"I want one of your burgers and we don't have any of the shit we need."

"Mmm burgers," Dean says, more to himself than anyone else as he leaves the kitchen.

"You're sure you'll be fine?" Sam asks, leaning down to kiss you one last time.

"I'm sure." You give his ass a smack. "Go get some air, and then come home and rub my feet.”

Sam laughs. “Deal.”

--

Eventually, you drag yourself to your feet and make your way down the hall to the bathroom, gently scolding your baby for sitting on your bladder. It’s as you’re sitting on the toilet that you realize you haven’t felt the baby kick in a while, which is really abnormal considered how active they’ve been since you were first able to feel them. You wrack your brains as you wash your hands, trying to remember when you last felt the baby and quickly coming to the conclusion that you don’t know.

Your stomach twists at the thought and you hurry to the library, calling for Cas. You only find Rowena, though.

“Where’s Cas?” you ask, trying to remain calm.

“No idea,” she says, glancing up from the book she’s buried her nose in. Her bag sits next to her on the table, open to reveal a variety of spell ingredients. “What’s wrong?”

You hesitate to trust Rowena with something like this but Cas is going to insist on calling Sam and you don’t want to worry Sam if it turns out to not be anything serious. That makes Rowena your best option.

“I can’t feel the baby,” you manage, curling your arms around your belly.

She immediately drops her book, rounding the table to guide you into a seat. “Oh, goodness. That’s always stressful. Here, sit. When did you feel the wee one last?”

You shrug, watching as she rummages through her bag. “I don’t know.”

“That’s quite all right,” she soothes, tossing a little of this and that into her mortar before grinding everything into a paste. “Lift your shirt a little, please. I need to draw a sigil on your skin in order to check on the baby.”

“And this is safe?” you ask, already lifting your shirt to reveal your belly.

“Perfectly safe,” she assures you, carefully drawing the sigil onto your skin just above your belly button. The paste is a little cold and you can’t help a shiver. “This is an old spell midwives have been using for centuries. I used it myself many a time when I was carrying Fergus.”

She finishes the sigil and wipes her hands clean on a cloth she pulls from somewhere in her bag. Then she lays her palms on either side of your belly and says a few words in a language you don’t recognize. The sigil glows purple and Rowena is silent a moment, concentrating on whatever the spell is doing. Then she draws a deep breath and straightens up, the glow of the sigil fading as soon as her hands leave your skin.

“Your baby is perfectly healthy,” she says with a soft smile. “Just sleeping.”

Relief floods your body as she gently wipes the sigil away and you slump a little in your chair. Of course the baby’s sleeping. Babies do that.

“Thank you,” you say, pulling your shirt down.

“It was nothing,” Rowena replies with a soft smile. “I’m more than happy to help an expecting mother. It’s been a long time since I was able to use my midwifery skills.”

“You were a midwife?”

Rowena pauses in cleaning up the spell ingredients. “I’ve taken that role several times over the centuries. I quite enjoy it and if I could do it permanently, I would. But it’s better to leave at least a few decades between. Keep people from being suspicious and all that.”

You nod. “That makes sense.”

The two of you settle into silence, Rowena cleaning and you watching while your mind rolls over this new information and you come to a decision.

“Rowena?”

She glances over at you. “Yes?”

“Will you be my midwife?”

--

“What the hell, Y/N?” Sam says through gritted teeth, dragging you into the hall outside the library. “She’s a witch!”

“A witch with several centuries of midwife experience,” you explain, fighting to keep calm despite your annoyance with Sam.

“So she says,” he snaps back. “We can’t trust her.”

“You’ve trusted her in the past!”

Sam tenses and there’s a moment where his gaze on you softens but it's only a moment. “I can’t trust her with this, Y/N. With you. And with them.”

With understanding eyes cast up at him, you can’t hold your tongue, no matter how sweet Sam’s objection is. “Don’t you think this is something I should have the final say in?”

“It’s our baby,” he sneers, all too possessive for something he can’t even touch, yet.

You stab him in the chest with one finger. “Yes, but they’re living in my body. I want Rowena as my midwife.”

His jaw clenches and he steps back, glaring down at you. “And if I say no?”

You return his angry glare. “You can’t, Sam. I’m doing this. Your choice is whether you’re going to be there for the birth of our child, or not.”

The corners of his mouth twitch and he takes another few steps away, clearly putting distance between the two of you and the emotions he’s clinging to.

He mouths your name and you know what he’s feeling - you know Sam. He’s terrified of the possible complications that you could run into in labor, in a hospital, let alone with a centuries-old witch overseeing things at home. You’re scared of those things, too. But you know what scares Sam the most is that the look in your eyes means you’re serious. If he walks away, you will do this without him.

“Okay, he sighs, voice weak but growing stronger as he approaches again. “Okay. It’s your decision and I’ll respect it. I don’t like it, but I’ll respect it.”

You lay your hands on Sam’s waist. “Thank you.”

He nods stiffly. “Yeah.”

You sigh and kiss the corner of his mouth. “Sam. I’m not doing this to make you upset. She really does know what she’s talking about and I feel safe with her. Plus, this means we can have the home birth I wanted.”

“I know,” Sam admits.

You smile and bring his hands up to press flat against your belly. “Give her a chance? For us?”

Sam’s expression softens as his thumbs stroke back and forth. The baby shifts to kick at his hands, pulling a smile to Sam’s face.  “Anything for you,” he says quietly, kissing your forehead.

“Anything?” you lift a playful eyebrow at him.

“Anything,” he repeats.

“Good because I want a foot massage while Dean makes dinner.”

Sam chuckles but allows you to lead him down the hall to your shared bedroom. He doesn’t even complain when you choose a really flowery-scented lotion for him to use, just pulls your feet into his lap and gets to work.

If you’re going to be honest, you decide as you lay back against a pile of pillows,  you could definitely get used to this.

--

Rowena is a dedicated midwife. Sam is still wary of her but he relaxes when he sees how comfortable she makes you, how attentive she is to the needs of both you and the baby. She teams up with him in making you eat a healthy diet but is willing to take your side when you’re craving something that’s not on the list of recommended foods. She introduces you to the wonders of red raspberry leaf tea. When she mentioned raspberries, you were excited to try it, but you were soon disappointed to discover it to be more of a green tea than a fruit one. Still good but not as good as plain raspberry tea would be.

With her help, the final months of your pregnancy are slightly easier to handle. She’s there to answer any questions you or Sam have, which lowers your stress levels immensely. Possibly the best thing she does, though, is show Sam all the ways to massage your aching body and actually make things feel better. Sam’s a quick learner and his hands are magical. So magical, in fact, that you almost don't notice you're in labor. Almost.

"Fucking hell," you grumble, rolling your neck when Sam stops rubbing your lower back. Nothing quite like a massage to get you ready for bed - though you're still aching. "I don't know why I've been so sore. It's worse than it was yesterday."

Sam frowns and presses a kiss to your shoulder. "Want me to go get Rowena?"

You shake your head, tugging on one of Sam's shirts. “I'll talk to her if I'm still hurting in the morning. I’m just,” you sigh, “really fucking uncomfortable.”

Sam nuzzles softly into the curve of your neck. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah. It’s late and she’s probably already in bed. I don’t want to bother her. Lemme up, I need to pee before we go to bed."

Sam pouts but lets go and you get up. You only make it two steps, though, before you feel what can only be described as a slight pop and then a small gush of liquid escapes your body. At that moment, everything - the discomfort and pain in your lower belly and back, the pressure on your pelvis - makes sense.

“Sam?” you say softly, reaching behind you blindly until you find his hand and lacing your fingers together.

“Hmm?”

“Maybe you should go get Rowena.”

He’s immediately on his feet, come around to grip your shoulders with a concerned expression. “Is everything okay?”

You nod, looking up at him with what you hope is a smile full of excitement and nervousness, but is really a grimace full of terror. “My water just broke.”

Rowena is by your side in minutes, bag in hand. She gives Sam a list of things to gather for her. He looks grateful to have something to do. Things develop slowly from there - much slower than you expected - and it isn’t until over a day later that things really start to pick up and you go into what Rowena calls active labor. Rowena and Sam are by your side through it all and when the time finally comes to push seven hours later, Rowena is there guiding you with her soft voice and Sam providing his hands for you to cling to. You know you’ll feel bad about cussing him out later but in the moment, the words are therapeutic.

After a total of about thirty-two hours of labor, including the time you were in labor but didn’t realize it, the room is filled with the angry cries of your brand new baby girl.

“Oh,” you breath when Rowena places her right on your chest, umbilical cord still attached. You’re naked except for some sheets, having ditched your clothes sometime earlier because they were drenched in sweat, and the press of your baby’s skin against your own sends a surge of warmth through your body and happy tears leaking from your eyes. She settles immediately once you offer her a nipple to nurse at. It takes a moment for you to get the angle right and for her to latch on properly, but once she does, you’re filled with a maternal instinct you never knew could be so strong.“Hi, little one,” you murmur as Rowena works around your hands to clean her up. “Hi.” You’d planned for either a boy or a girl after deciding you didn’t want to find out until the birth, and now, looking at her, you know the name Sam picked is perfect.

Sam is watching in awe. He shifts to sit next to you on the bed, one arm around your shoulders as he tentatively reaches the other hand out to brush his fingertips over her cheek.

“Hi,” he says, voice trembling a little. “Welcome to the world, Rose.”

When you look up at him, there are tears in his eyes. “Sam?”

He sniffs and presses his cheek to the top of your head. “I just… I never thought I would get to have this. You, her. A home, a family. And now she’s here and we weren’t even trying to have her, but she’s perfect.” He squeezes your shoulders, drawing a deep breath. “Everything is perfect.”

You smile, fresh tears dotting your cheeks as you stroke Rose’s fuzzy head and lean into Sam’s embrace. “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”

---

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—

Team Forever: @mrswhozeewhatsis @laughing-at-the-darkness​​ @tumbler-tidbits​​ @imsuperawkward​​​​ @emoryhemsworth

[hedwigstalons]

High Expectations - Ch14

Ok, I really threw myself down a chasm of angst over the last few chapters.  That, plus dealing with family stuff, absolutely killed my creativity with this.  Thankfully after slotting in some one-shots for variety I got back on it and now, maybe a little later than I would have hoped, the next chapter is ready for you.

The wonderful @willow-salix helped haul me out of the angst chasm and yet again put up with my wobbles.

Earlier parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen

AO3 chapter link 

Chapter Fourteen

Jeff entered the apartment to find all three of his resident sons sprawled on the couch, Alan snoring gently against Scott’s side while the older two talked in low voices.  The two who were still awake fell silent as he entered, twin stares turning on him at the intrusion.  The animosity directed towards him was perhaps well deserved he reflected, his actions maybe hadn’t been worthy of the respect he had always insisted upon.

“Evening Scott, Gordon.”  He raised an eyebrow at the scene; it was late and Alan should have been in his own bed not drooling into a blanket.  A look of disapproval was clearly evident in Jeff’s features and Scott was keen to deflect it away from his brothers.

“He didn’t want to go to bed and I didn’t have the heart to make him.  He’s been out of it for a while though, as soon as Gordon gave him the blanket he was gone.”   With Scott home and Gordon not shutting himself away in his room Alan had been reluctant to head off to bed.  It was clear that the youngest sibling had been lonely as he clung to the human contact.

“I didn’t realise that still worked.”  Jeff found himself caught in a flashback to a much younger Alan being swaddled in the same blanket at the farmhouse to make him sleep.

“Yeah, well, he used to try and stay up and wait for you to get home after we moved here.  If it got too late I’d get the blanket out then carry him to his room once he crashed.  He’s lighter than what Coach had me lifting.”

So that was how Gordon had known it would work Scott mused.  As soon as the clock had ticked past Alan’s bed time and the teenager had shown no signs of moving without a fight Gordon had dug out the old fleece blanket to ‘help him get comfy’ and within minutes the snoring had started.  Gordon had even had the foresight to make Alan put on his pyjamas and clean his teeth before the trio had settled in on the couch.  He wondered just how many nights that small blonde form had tried to wait up in the hope of seeing their father only for the man not to appear until long after bed time.

 “How come you’re so late back.  Is everything ok?”

“This isn’t late” Gordon butted in, “it’s pretty normal for Dad.”

“Dad?”

“The business needs me.”

“But it’s nearly 11 o’clock.”

“You boys were ok though.  You could have called me if I was needed.”

“Would you have answered?  Like you said, it’s late, I’d better get him off to bed.”  Scott sensed more tales untold in Gordon’s weary response.

With Scott still pinned under his sleeping sibling Gordon completed the last stage of the maneuver he was evidently well practiced at.  Despite his lack of recent exercise he was still able to easily slide his arms under and carry the youngest Tracy off to his own bed.

With that settled Scott turned to his father.

“So you’re never back for bedtime?”

“I get here when I can”

“And how often is that?”

No response.  To Scott the silence was more telling than any answer.  So that was how it had worked; Jeff would stay out at the office until goodness knows when and Gordon would take responsibility for ensuring Alan was fed and in bed at a reasonable time.  It was horribly similar to his own teenage years except he had always had Virgil at his side; Gordon had taken on that role from a younger age, in an unfamiliar city, without sibling support and all while keeping up with his swimming training.  No wonder he could display a maturity far beyond his years when needed, the last four years had been a trial that Gordon must have excelled at seeing as none of them had realised what was happening.  

“After all this and you still call Gordon a kid; are you really that blind?  He’s more mature than you give him credit for.  Looks to me like Gordon has been more of a Dad to Alan over these last four years than you have and you weren’t much of a parent before that; it was sink or swim for Virg and I and it looks like you’ve done exactly the same to Gordon.  It’s just as well he is such a good swimmer, isn’t it.”

Scott’s berations, carried out in hissed undertones, were cut off by the return of Gordon.

“He didn’t even stir” Gordon reassured them as he re-entered the room, “and now I ought to head off too.  Goodnight Dad.  Goodnight Scott.”  Gordon had been enjoying catching up with his brother but the return of their father had soured his mood and now he just wanted to escape.  It was also impossible to miss the daggers in the looks Scott was giving their father and he had no energy to deal with another argument.

“Gordon, wait.” Accompanied by an audible sigh and eyeroll Gordon paused and turned at the direct request, hoping whatever it was would be over swiftly.  “Before you go off to bed I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been in touch with my lawyers.  I’m going to get those text books changed; just because something is factually accurate that doesn’t make it right.  And Gordon, no more keeping secrets from me.  If I had known I would have got involved sooner”

Gordon nodded his acknowledgement but couldn’t go quite as far as voicing thanks, after all the books weren’t changed yet.  His father was also still conveniently ignoring that it hadn’t been a secret at the time, he had just refused to listen to Gordon.

After Gordon had escaped back to his own sanctuary Scott rounded on their father.

“No more keeping secrets; that’s rich coming from you.  So does this mean you’re going to tell them your grand plan.”

“Not now Scott, I’m tired and it’s been a long day.”

“Yeah, well it’s been a long day for Gordon too.  You’ve got no idea what goes on here, do you.  He deserves to know.”

“He’s just a child.”

“There you go again, he is NOT a child and hasn’t been for a long time.  You need to wake up and start seeing him for who he is, both of them.  You’re just lucky Alan still worships you but when Gordon gets in to WASP…”

“IF he gets in.”

“WHEN, because trust me I will do my damned best to help him get there.  When Gordon gets into WASP just who do you think will be there for Alan?  There won’t be anyone left to make excuses or cover for you.  Unless you step up and start being an active parent you are going to lose Alan just like you are losing Gordon.  Now if you will excuse me it’s late and I promised I would take Alan to school in the morning.”

Scott spun on his heels and strode out the room leaving a stunned Jeff in his wake.  The older man stood there for a moment before heading to the cupboard and pulling out a bottle of single malt.  The measure he poured was rather larger than usual in deference to the trying day he had had.

Retreating to his favourite armchair in the now deserted lounge, scotch in hand, Jeff reflected on the events of the day.  Dealing with lawyers always gave him a headache even if he was the one who had initiated contact.  The Department of Education had tried to give him a similar brush off to Gordon but Jeff hadn’t got where he was in life by giving up at the first hurdle.  To find out that Lucille’s death was read out in classrooms up and down the state had been a shock.  That moment was private, a personal tragedy, not something to be critiqued in the story of his meteoric rise to fame.

Lucille.

What on earth would she make of all this?  He had always told himself that he was doing what was best for their children,  but was he, really?  Virgil and John seemed to be doing okay and he’d never had any concerns about Scott.  Well, until now that is.  The son he had earmarked as his Field Commander seemed to be pulling away from him, no longer willing to follow his direction.

And what about the youngest two?  He realised with sadness that he barely knew Alan.  He knew Alan was doing well at school, he would soon have picked up on it if his grades slipped, but he didn’t know his son’s likes and dislikes.  The fact he attended senior science club wasn’t much of a surprise, all of his sons except Gordon seemed to have a flair for the sciences, but if you had asked him where Alan went on a Wednesday he wouldn’t have known the answer.  Had this needed another permission form that Gordon dealt with?

Which left Gordon.   The son who had a world record to his name but hadn’t been to the pool in weeks.  The son who could have been offered a commission in WASP but was instead flicking through the prospectuses of third rate universities.  If ever there was a damning indictment of his parenting skills it was Gordon.

The first glass had been drained in an instant and he poured a second measure.  Jeff swirled the amber liquid around the tumbler, watching how it caught the light from the lamps and seemed to glow.

Gordon.

He tried to think back to that first move to the city.  With both Virgil and John packed off to university it just left him and the little ones, except Gordon was now no longer the little boy, barely a teenager, who had been transplanted from the wheat fields.  Somewhere along the line the little boy had grown up.  The little boy had been forced to grow up because he had been so used to his sons working as a self-reliant unit that he hadn’t thought to step in again as the older ones moved away.  And now, four years down the line, Gordon was on the brink of adulthood and he hadn’t even realised.  Seventeen but carrying responsibilities way beyond his years. 

Jeff thought back to himself at seventeen with his future all mapped out in his head.  Yale and the Air Force were calculated stepping stones to enable him to complete astronaut training; a dream he had committed himself to despite his father’s wishes.  Oh yes there had been arguments there, blazing rows in the farmhouse kitchen with the father that wanted him to take on the family farm.  His fledgling relationship with Lucille had been a godsend in that tempestuous period and had provided him with a bolt hole when it all got too much trying to defend his choices.   

Yet here he was seemingly treating Gordon in the same way he had resented all those years ago, the only difference being he was forcing his son towards university instead of agriculture.  Would it really be so bad if Gordon skipped out on tertiary education?  He’d only gone to university himself because it was a requirement of the World Space Agency rather than because he had any particular fondness for further study.  Gordon had picked a career, a solid career, that didn’t require a university education and he was denying his son that freedom of expression due to his own skewed ideals.  He didn’t even know if Gordon had a girlfriend to comfort and counsel him through these trying times; probably not, where would he have found the time around caring for Alan?

Maybe Scott was right.  Maybe he had seriously underestimated his fourth son.  It was time to look beyond the mediocre grades and instead start seeing the child, no, the young man he corrected himself, who showed such devotion to his family that he had tried to single-handedly take on the Department of Education because he knew in his core it was the right thing to do.  

Doing the right thing.  Such lofty ideals were part of the reason why he hadn’t noticed what was going on under his own roof, he’d been so absorbed in the project that was to be Lucille’s legacy.  Yet seemingly the son he had most overlooked was the embodiment of what he was trying to achieve; compassion mixed with determination.  Gordon’s Olympic win definitely showed the determination, you don’t become a champion without focus, drive and a dedication to hard work.  Maybe WASP was the right place for Gordon.  The aquanaut service would keep him physically stimulated and Gordon seemingly possessed a mature and caring side that would be suited to the peacekeeping ethos of the organisation.  The world needed aquanauts.  

Possibilities began to flow and spark in Jeff’s head.  His organisation, his dream, needed pilots, engineers and astronauts, perhaps his dream also needed an aquanaut.  Most of the planet was covered in the oceans and it was a gaping hole in the capabilities of the outfit he had planned not to be able to undertake aquatic rescues.  In the same way he had seen the possibilities in the paths the eldest three had chosen perhaps WASP could provide the training foundations for Gordon.  If Gordon were to enrol in WASP then by the time the rescue business was ready to commence operations his fourth son could be a fully qualified submarine pilot ready to join the ranks among his elder brothers.  Adding the skills of an aquanaut would allow him to help save many more families but in order for that to happen first he needed to fix his own and repair the gaping chasm between him and the son he had wronged.  

By the time Jeff made it to his own bed that night the level in the scotch bottle was considerably lower and his lofty visions considerably higher. 

xoxoxox

The apartment was bustling the next morning.  Alan was moaning about having to go to school while first Gordon and then Scott chivvied him out of bed and made sure he had all his books for the day.  It was a similar scene to that which had played out the day before although Jeff hadn’t been there to witness it having left early for the office as usual.

“Do I really have to go in?”

“Yes, you do.  Dad would ground you for a month if he found you skipped school.”  Gordon was stern and unmovable.

“But Scott…”  The pleading was switched from one big brother to the other

“We went through all this yesterday Alan”  there was an exasperation in Scott’s voice that could only be dragged out by a young teenager, “I’ll be here until at least Monday so we’ll have all weekend together.  You are not missing class just because I’m here.”

“But you will be there after school, won’t you?”

“Yes, just like we were yesterday.  Now will you please just eat some breakfast, we have to leave soon and I don’t want you going to school on an empty stomach.”

Jeff stepped into the doorway and the three sons around the counter froze at the unexpected movement.  

“Alan, eat your breakfast.  Your brothers are right, you need to get moving.”

The peanut butter bagel Alan had been nursing started to be gulped down at an indigestion inducting rate.  All moaning, in fact all conversation in its entirety, stopped in favour of heading out the door as swiftly as possible rather than incur the wrath of Jeff.  For him to be at home on a week day was out of the ordinary and the boys were not inclined to stick around to find out why.  Within minutes he was left in an empty apartment after giving the eldest two a stern instruction to come straight home once Alan was in school.  

Savouring the silence Jeff made himself a large coffee and awaited the return of Scott and Gordon.  The caffeine injection was definitely needed, he had been up until the small hours with thoughts chasing round his head and when he did finally drift off his sleep had been troubled.  Thankfully his diary for the day had been mercifully scant, the few appointments easy to rearrange.  Jeff was not a man to shy away from problems but it had been a shock to realise that the biggest problems were under his own roof and of his own making.

He had barely finished the cup when Scott and Gordon returned and joined him in the lounge.  Neutral territory.

“Boys, we have a lot to discuss.”

“We do?” the skepticism radiated off of Scott.  Talks with their father were generally too one-way to be considered a discussion.

“We do.  But please, hear me out first.”  

Gordon and Scott perched side by side on the couch, presenting a united front.  Their expressions were stony, clearly expecting another example of their father laying down the law.  Jeff took a deep breath.  He’d always had an unshakable self-confidence; when facing the cruel realities of space or facing down a boardroom that self-confidence had carried him home safe and seen him through difficult situations.  Now his faith in his own abilities, his abilities as a father, had been shaken.  The silence in the room seemed to create a vacuum, a void that needed filling.

“I...I’ve not been around as much as I probably should have.  Initially, when your mother first died, I threw myself into my work.  I had to work hard to keep the family together, keep a roof over our heads and food on the table.  The business was young then and times were tough.  I don’t have that excuse now.”

Their current situation was a far cry from the early days of borrowing money and hoping the risks paid off.  Looking back he should have realised he wasn’t the only one making sacrifices but grief and the scotch had clouded his judgement.  As time wore on his use of a liquid crutch had lessened but he had still buried himself in his work, still relied on his sons to hold the fort and keep the home fires burning.  But worst of all he hadn’t even realised they were doing it.  He had forced his sons to grow up quickly, he shouldn’t have been surprised when they started to spread their wings and go their own ways.

“No, you don’t.”  Scott wasn’t going to make this easy.  All he’d heard so far was thinly veiled justification for neglecting them all, neglect that had carried on long after the debts were repaid.

Jeff steeled himself for words he’s never thought he would have to say.  “I’m sorry.  I should have been there.”  He received a half-nod from Scott but Gordon wouldn’t even meet his eye, his own mistreatment still too raw and fresh for him to accept the apology.  Jeff plunged on.  “So Gordon, tell me about WASP.”

Gordon’s head snapped up.  “What do you want to know?”  The voice held an undertone of venom and suspicion.

“For a start I’d like to know why you want to join up.”

“Does it matter what I want?”

“Believe it or not, it does.  Please Gordon.”

“I’m not cut out for college, you must be able to see that.”  

“You’d be fine if you’d only put your mind to it.”  

A glare from Scott prevented him from commenting further and Jeff had to bite his tongue to remind himself that this wasn’t just about him any more.  He’d resolved to give Gordon his chance to explain.  

A reassuring hand on Gordon’s shoulder from Scott gave the younger sibling the confidence to speak out.  Soon the words he had been bottling up tumbled out and Jeff witnessed an enthusiasm that had long been absent.  Gordon had had plenty of opportunity to think on what he had been ripped away from since being dragged out of selection.  Jeff sat there and watched as Gordon spoke with passion about teamwork, new skills, that chance to be active, to help people and to protect the environment. 

Jeff waited patiently until the words dried up, pausing to let it all sink in before responding.  Everything his son had said, particularly the desire to help people, resonated strongly with what he himself wanted to achieve.  Everything he heard cemented the decision he had made the previous night to allow Gordon to join WASP with a long term goal of his son becoming a rescue operative.

The two sons watched him from the couch, awaiting his pronouncement like prisoners awaiting sentencing.  It pained him to see the mix of hope and fear tinged with an edge of resentment that graced Gordon’s features; he really had made a mess of things but it was time to start making amends and putting things right.

“Okay Gordon, I’ll support you in joining WASP as I should have done from the outset.  I ask one thing though, that in the meantime you work with me to gain your pilot’s licence.  Your older brothers could all fly by your age and there is a good chance you will need those skills before much longer.”  Jeff met Scott’s eye and gave a half nod, an acknowledgement of his son’s request for no more secrets.  “You see Gordon, I’m looking at moving soon and for very good reason…”

[purplesurveys]

1006

(found at xxbieberburnham)

“The rest of your life”

Are you independent or dependent? Dependent as all hell. I’ll put my foot down on very certain things, but most of the time I prefer hearing input or suggestions from people I trust. I definitely think it’s something I still have to work on because I know I’ll have to be mostly independent at some point.

If you could put your life into a category, where would it go? I feel like this would be easier to answer if you gave a list of categories. I don’t know what kind of insight you’re looking for.

How many animals do you have? I have two, but I call them pets.

Are you popular? Idk and I don’t care. All I know is I don’t actively seek to be so.

What time were you born? 9:11 in the evening.

Have you had any candy this week? Yeah, I had a gummy worm this morning. Mom bought a box of Halloween-themed sweets and there were cupcakes had gummy worms on them alongside marshmallows designed to look like a tombstone.

Are you more afraid of tornadoes or hurricanes? Hurricanes are terrifying, but I’m used to them. We don’t get tornadoes at all so I’ll not only be unprepared for those, but would definitely be more afraid of them too.

Do you like those nerd glasses? Sure, I still think they’re cute and look good on people but I never called them nerd glasses lol. Mine are kinda shaped like one.

Have you ever been in a fist fight? Nah, I’d be wiped out pretty fast.

What color is your house? A light shade of beige.

When was the last time you saw a rainbow? More than a year ago, I’m sure. It was during our ride back home from a journalism workshop, which if I remember correctly was all the way in Cavite. Goddamn we traveled a lot for those workshops.

Have you ever ate a crayon? I’ve never bitten off a piece but I’m not ruling out at least licking.

Ever rode in a helicopter? Nope. Would love to.

Do you like rabbits? Sure.

Do you like mushrooms? For the most part I don’t even think they taste like anything, so I never really had a problem with mushrooms.

“It’s like you step into the room and just press play”

What was the last movie you cried at? That Thing Called Tadhana. I had watched it five years ago after my first breakup; I got to go to Sagada shortly after that breakup, so that movie was actually very therapeutic for me at the time because it allowed me to release my feelings the way Mace did, also in Sagada. Now I’m stuck at home and can’t travel and that movie just hurt too much to finish.

What ice cream flavor best describes your personality? I don’t really...pair ice cream flavors with types of personalities.

Would you rather work for a small or large company? Large, because I feel like I’d be challenged more in those and thus learn more. Also it just looks nicer on resumés, if I’m being honest. Smaller companies are ok too but I prefer those that already have a rep for churning excellent results and having a good track record for workplace culture, like the company I’m currently working with.

Where's your favorite place to buy clothes? Ukays. I used to not like them, but my mom and sister did a great job reeling me in and making me see the appeal.

How many languages do you speak? Two.

What was the worst movie you've ever seen? Me Before You was such a waste of my time. Predictable, cheesy, and typical asshole-guy-softens-up-over-time-oh-and-just-as-you-start-to-root-for-him-we’re-gonna-kill-him-off. But idk, I was with friends who were into movies like those and I wanted to support them, so I went along to watch.

What video game have you played the most? Cumulatively, pretty sure it’s Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

What was your favorite TV show as a child? I was a Nickelodeon girl and Spongebob, Fairly OddParents, and My Life as a Teenage Robot were my top 3, with Jimmy Neutron closely trailing at #4. I loved Disney shows too but wasn’t really able to appreciate them as much until I got a little older and could understand their humor better.

What's your favorite sport? My answer won’t change - if it counts, pro wrestling. If it doesn’t, my next favorite is table tennis.

If you were given a brand new yacht, what would you name it? Nothing creative is coming to me at the moment.

Do you believe there’s life on other planets? Yes. Maybe not the ones in our solar system, but those out in the distant universe for sure.

What was the worst place you ever traveled to? Can’t say I’ve truly disliked a particular place we’ve been to. I will say that Chinese people have a...culture that I’m not used to, and I did not enjoy touring with a bunch of them during my cruise. They had buffet habits that I would consider unhygienic, they would sit at the same table my mom and I were eating at if there were available seats(??????? imagine if I just sat beside you at a diner while you’re having lunch?), and apparently it’s acceptable for them to actually look you in the eyes and point directly at you if they’re talking about you with other people. It was honestly a lot to put up with for six days, and the only reason I didn’t lose my temper was because my dad works in the ship and I didn’t want to cause him any trouble.

What is one thing you’re really bad at? Making art.

Do you believe in angels? No. I like referring to my grandpa as my guardian angel, but I don’t actually believe in angels.

Would you rather be a famous actor or musician? I know I’m awful at either, but I’d much rather act.

“where have you been all my life?”

If you could have invented one thing, what would it have been? It’d be cool to come up with something that ends up being widely popular and/or beneficial to society, but do it accidentally; like how popsicles came to be. Imagine building a legacy from your own oopsie lmao sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

What's your favorite exercise workout? I don’t do workouts.

What's your favorite thing to do? Wow, very straightforward. Hmm these days I’m slowly inching back to wrestling, so I’ve been watching compilations and documentaries and doing some catching-up here and there. Lately I’d say that’s my favorite thing to do, but that can always change.

What did you do for your 17th birthday? Gab and I went to Pinto and she brought me to Filio after. Then I got back home to see what Athenna had done to my room while I was out, which was to cover the floor with balloons and the walls with printed photos of Zayn Malik.

Does your local Wal Mart have benches in them to rest? First, we’ll need to have local Wal-Mart stores here.

Was your favorite stuffed animal really a teddy bear growing up? I never liked stuffed animals, so I didn’t even have a teddy bear.

If your house was haunted, what would you do? Not fuck with the ghosts/spirits.

Are you crazy in love currently? Not crazily, but in love.

Are you good at swimming? I can tread and do several strokes, but I also tend to panic so I think that eliminates the concept of me being a good swimmer.

What's worse: Slow internet or slow walkers? Slow internet. I can get around slow walkers; but unless I have mobile data, slow internet is out of my control for the most part.

What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? I can’t pick between whistling at me, catcalling me, lunging at me, or flirtatiously harass me in front of his friends while I was minding my goddamn business carrying a goddamn box of cake at the mall. Yeah, not a very big fan of men.

Do you sleep with the sheets tucked in or out? Out.

What do you do to fall asleep faster? Put on a YouTube video and let autoplay take over.

Do you carry a bottle of water wherever you go? Yeah I used to, until I lost it.

Ae you afraid that one day you might get cancer? The fear of the possibility is there, but it’s not predominantly in our family history and so I’m more afraid of other issues I have a higher chance of getting, like high blood pressure.

“Letters to Juliet”

Are you a fast or slow walker? Fast if I’m running errands, slow-ish if I’m out for leisure.

Do you usually have to wear a belt with your pants? No.

Does it bother you when people's underwear hangs out? Kinda. Even more when their crack decides to show up too.

Are you usually the person to try new things with your hair? No, I am one of the last people in line when it comes to that.

When's your birthday? April 21st.

Do you own a bobble-head toy? Nopes.

What color was the towel you used to dry off with today after a shower? Turquoise.

Has anyone ever walked you home? I’ve had someone drive me home. Walking isn’t really applicable here.

Have you ever liked someone and they were taken? That’s never happened to me.

When was the last time you went fishing? In my past life, maybe.

True or false: You've read the book Lord of the Flies? False.

Have you heard of the band Yellowcard? Yes.

Have you ever seen the show Teen Wolf? I’ve seen an episode and oh my god it was so boring.

Do you have any quotes, lyrics etc on your walls? I used to until my mom took it down while I was in school. I made it myself, so it stung.

Are you a fan of Star Wars? No.

“Our parents never let us cross the street, but we did it anyway”

Has anyone ever told you that you have nice hair? Whenever it was actually nice, yeah. It was never my best feature though.

What brand of camera do you own? I have...an iPhone, if it counts, ha. My old DSLR was a Nikon.

Is there something you're not looking forward to? The next day. Having to go through rounds of anxiety is not enjoyable.

Have you ever read the book Thirteen Reasons Why? Have not read the book nor seen the show, but have read enough of the premise to know I am not a fan.

Do you wear white pants? Sure, I have a pair of white jeans that I absolutely love.

When was the last time you were really angry? Yesterday. My sister and I were ordering KFC from a food delivery app and no driver was taking it because drivers in that company are notoriously picky bitches about their destinations. They kept canceling our orders and at some point I had enough and proposed that we just get Pizza Hut, this time straight from the Pizza Hut website, which has always worked out for us before. So Pizza Hut confirms the order, calls me up and says the ETA, so far so good. Around 15 minutes later the doorbell rings and it’s...KFC? With our original orders? Apparently that stupid ass app took our order anyway after repeatedly canceling it, and I never got one fucking notification that our order was received. Tried to cancel Pizza Hut but they said they had already started making the pizzas, so in the end we had to pay for both meals. I had never been so angry.

Have you ever made a 3 pointer in a basketball game? Hah, of course not. I’ve barely made one of those free throws that are worth one point.

Do you think you look better with your hair up or down? I’ve gotten more compliments whenever it’s up, so that must look better on me even if I personally don’t necessarily agree.

Do you warm up before you hardcore exercise? I don’t exercise, but isn’t warming up recommended anyway?

Do you want a pair of Converse shoes? Not really; I suppose they’re alright. It’s not my favorite brand in the world, but I wouldn’t turn down a free pair either.

Are you more of a studs or hoops type of person when it comes to earrings? Hoooooooooops for days.

How many shirts do you have of your favorite band? Just one. I’m not a band shirt person.

Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? There’s no TV in this room.

Have you ever wore a tie before? Yeah, as a kid my mom sometimes made me wear neckties. They made me SO uncomfortable I was having internal breakdowns about being seen in public. I was 7 years old. Neckties to me were a boy thing and I felt 0% boy; and so it gave me such serious dysphoria. It’s like making a boy wear a pink tutu even if he’s already visibly distressed. Whenever I told my mom I felt uncomfortable, she would just tell me it “looks good.” Jesus Christ. Why did no one ever drag my mom to a parenting seminar? Did no one seriously see the signs???

What did you have for breakfast this morning? Garlic rice, bacon strips, and glazed ham.

“For the Krusty Krab”

Are you good at art? Of course not.

How many times have you read your favorite book? I don’t have one.

Name one thing that you really hate. Raisins, on their own and incorporated in a dish.

Have you ever tried walking on stilts? I haven’t.

Is there a war that you find interesting? Eh, not really. So many of historical accounts are bombarded with war narratives as it is, and I’ve just never really found disputes or tensions among countries to be the most interesting part about history. Plus women were mostly absent, and that makes it even more boring.

Would you rather live in the city or country? City.

Do you think $7 is too much for a movie ticket? Not always. $7 or ₱350 is actually pretty reasonable if you wanna see a movie at an upscale mall; people who watch movies in places like that shouldn’t be complaining about movie tickets that cost that much. But all movie theaters are the same anyway - pitch black, freezing, comfy chairs - so I just go to midscale malls where tickets would be like a hundred bucks cheaper since it’s gonna give me the same experience anyway.

Would you like to be a newscast person? For a long time I thought I wanted to be one because that’s what my entire family was rooting me to become. Eventually I realized reading from a teleprompter, interviewing guests, and asking questions to reporters is not a career I want.

Do you like word searches, coloring or crosswords better? Word searches, then coloring, then crosswords.

Close your eyes and press a random key on the keyboard. U.

How many William’s do you know? I don’t think I know anyone. It’s too foreign-sounding a name.

What time did you wake up this morning? I woke up at around 6 AM, but I fell back asleep immediately and woke up again around 30 minutes later.

Do you enjoy crutches? ...No? That seems a little insensitive for people who actually need them.

What's better: Snapple or Arizona tea? Arizona. It’s because I’ve never had the Snapple one, but tbh Arizona is already pretty delicious anyway.

Make a word out of the word: Dinosaur. Round.

“she said I love this song, I’ve heard it before”

When you were younger, did you play with legos? Yes. I was never a creative kid, but I liked playing with them anyway.

Do you like Trix cereal? It was only my absolute favorite cereal as a kid, no biggie.

Do you get nervous easily? Ugh, yes. My parents asked me to get water containers from our local water station last Saturday and I literally had to allot like two hours to brace myself and make a script in my head. I constantly rehearse shit nearly every time I have to go out of the house.

How long is your Facebook password? I’m not sharing that.

Do you like the movie Mean Girls? No, I didn’t find it funny the first time and that made me uninterested in giving it a second chance.

How do you want your wedding to be? Big, grand. Lots of friends, lots of food. Not Catholic/Christian.

Have you seen the movie or show Catfish? Nope.

Do you hate it when you arrive to something early? Not usually. Being early is my goal in most situations, unless I’m headed to like a party.

Have you ever been on Omegle? A few times as a teenager.

Are you still in love with one of your exes? Yes. It’s not going away for a while.

Do you think it's attractive when guys wear beanies? I don’t necessarily seek out men with beanies lol but I don’t think it looks bad on them either.

What's something that makes you feel shy in public? Unfamiliar situations.

Do you like the shows on MTV? No.

If you could go back and relive one day, what day? That last Friday I was in school before the lockdown happened. If I knew what the next eight months were going to look like, I would’ve stayed much longer in school, dragged my friends out to drink, blew my money on food, had more fun basically.

What's one word you hate to be called? Exhausting. Like being told I’m exhausting to be with. How does that not hurt?

[shinobirain24]

Water and Ice- Chapter 7: Confinement

Neptune opened his eyes to see the town of Argus in an apocalyptic ruins. Since when did he even traveled to the future? Or is this a dream?

Either way isn't a good sign. He keeps walking in the city in search for survivors. Calling out to anyone who might be in high buildings. "Hello?! Anybody there?!" But no one responded.

"What happened while I was away? I don't remember a forecast of earthquakes. I was only gone for two days. Or is it three?" He then remembered that Weiss was with him. "Weiss...hello?! If you can hear me, say something!"

"Neptune?" The blue-haired huntsman turned around to see a familiar man with a scar. Also blue-haired with visors. leather jacket, a sign that he is a Thunderbolt. "Who are you?! Did you do this?" The man isn't responding. But he took off his visors and revealed similar blue eyes as Neptune's. "It's been a while, bro."

"No, it can't be...J-Jupiter." He slightly gasped. "I thought you were dead! Am I dreaming this?" He shook his head.

"What the hell is going on? What happened to Argus? And why are you participating in criminal activities?! For the record, those visors do not look good on you." Neptune demanded.

"You don't get it, do you?" He asked, which confuses Neptune. "I've been playing dead for a while. I suggest you make a run for it before "she" finds you."

"Who's "she?"" Jupiter exits the scene before he could answer. "Hey wait!" He heard another voice.

"Neptune?" He turned to the Argus Park where a statue of the deceased Pyrrha Nikos was standing. It was Weiss. She then runs towards him.

"What's going on?! Who would do this?" Weiss inquired and Neptune wishes he has a answer, but no. "I don't know. Maybe we're dreaming." Then a tidal wave of flood rushes over. Cars, trees, broken glass and other vehicles are washed away. It was too late to escape as the water pulls them with it.

"Dah!"

"Wah!" Weiss grabs Neptune's hand and they held each other tight while trying to resurface from the water to gain air to breath. But then their grip didn't last long when Weiss and Neptune grab onto a lamppost. "Don't let go!" But then their hands slipped, separating them.

"Neptune!" Weiss cried out.

"Weiss!" Neptune shouts back struggling to swim, but the waves sucked him down to the bottom. The salt water has flown into his lungs and they got stuck. Having trouble to breath since it already got into his mouth.

No. I can't breath. Why can't I save anybody? I am a failure. I hated my semblance so much. How come I didn't use it wisely? Neptune thought closing his eyes. Waiting for his "death" to be over with.

Neptune snapped his eyes open with a grasp. "Ah!" Touching his throat like the water is still there. But it wasn't. Pushing his hair above. "Oh man, what a nasty nightmare." He then looked back at the dream where he saw his brother. He looked around to see that he is in the ferry where he was sleeping since he couldn't stand the sight of the ocean.

Jupiter, was that really you talking to me?

A door opened and Neptune looked up to see Weiss standing in front of it. He could tell that she couldn't help but worry for him. "Neptune?" She said softly. Slowly closing the door to move straight to him. She then stop by her tracks to asks, "Is it alright if I can sit beside you?" She blushed in nervousness. But Neptune taps the bed, letting her know that it's a yes.

"Bad dream again?" She asked again. She looked into his eyes. They are deep and beautiful as the ocean's depths. Something that Weiss couldn't keep her eyes off of. He slightly nodded. She placed her and above his. Making Neptune nervous, but he kept his cool.

"Don't worry, you're not the only one with those nightmares. Just woke up from one tonight." Weiss admitted.

"What is it then?" He asked.

"One where my sister challenged me. And in the end, I lost. Dying by her own hands. I wonder if she regrets it, if it really happens. I don't think I want to know at all. It keeps happening every night since I left Atlas the third time."

"Maybe those nightmares could mean something." Then Neptune changes the subject. "This got me thinking, why are you helping me from getting arrested earlier? You know this could mean you're a fugitive too, right?" Weiss smiled and nodded.

"The truth is, I don't believe you're responsible for the wreckage either. As much as l care for Winter, I also care about you. Losing some friends and family are the worse parts of life. Do you think I made the right choice?" Weiss asked. "Even if your brother is responsible, there has to be a reason why."

"That depends. I don't think it's not a right or wrong answer. I'm not sure how to put it this way."

"You're lying." Weiss giggled. And Neptune did the same. "Back in Poseidon Island, you weren't the same person I knew before. Then, I saw what you did to the water. That is your semblance, right?" She asked. Neptune sighed as he didn't want to talk about it. But Weiss' stern look convinced him otherwise.

"Do you remember, back at the Vytal Festival? My team and I fought Team NDGO?" How could Weiss even forget that she came there to cheer for him. Only to see Neptune flirting with the female team. And got angry with him. But she already forgave him for that. But there's something she had already forgotten. "Back then, I couldn't touch the water. Although, my semblance could've been useful." Now Weiss could see where this is coming from. Having an improved image to cover up the fear.

"This all happened when I was 4. I grew up in Argus before we moved to Mistral. It was a place where my family are skilled swimmers. But I was an exception." Neptune stood up and walked a few steps away from the bed. While Weiss remained sitting there as her eyes pointed at him. She is starting to have a feeling that he may not be the Neptune she knew anymore. Many people at Haven and Shade would described him as a goofball. But this time is different. But she is also moved by his mysterious personality.

"The reason why I have unlocked my semblance in the first place is because my traits are rare. The reason why my name is Neptune. My dad, and my siblings have water-based semblances. I don't know how I was afraid of water. But it bothered me when I see it. The day my semblance was awakened, my brother threw me from the pier and it was the most terrifying day of my life." Neptune said sadly. Remembering the images in his head that he couldn't get out. "When he did, my aura have reacted to the water and that's how my semblance came. It took half the ocean to be pulled within me. But the thing is, I couldn't breath, hear or see as it keep getting into my eyes, ears and lungs. Since then, I never go near the water ever again. That's why I have these goggles in the first place. Come to think of it, every time I touched the water, it was pulled into my body, like a magnet of some kind."

Weiss listened to him further, and sees why he was averted to the substance in the first place. It's not often that siblings pushed them around and her heart beats in every word. But one of those things is that her sister is the same for her to become a free woman. But out of concern of his side of the story. She never got near him since they were busy fighting Salem and her minions. Just like everyone else, despite the smiles and happy memories made. They all have a dark side of the past. Beneath a good-looking and flirty young man, is a sad and scared huntsman. "Couldn't blame Jupiter, he only did what he thought was for my own good. He has the ability to turn water into mist. My sister can turn water into ice, which is useful because now nobody would have to buy any more ice packs for her medical team to use. I called my semblance, "Water Attraction." Pretty useful, but also a curse. When I panicked, I pushed the water towards Jupiter. It could've killed him that day. But luckily, he's strong enough to turn it into steam." He then walks to stare at the window, with the ocean sparkling at the moonlight, despite the beauty of the seas, it's also a reminder of the bad memories.

"Two years after my awakening, Sun came along. He found out about my phobia, but he didn't care. It's like he understood me better than anyone else. We both agreed to keep it a secret. He's not only my best friend, but a brother in arms. Before that, Jupiter is the best bro any kid can ask for. We would hang out when our parents were too busy. He went to Haven since I was 14. And man, he's even good with the ladies."

Now I get where he even got his flirting style from. Weiss thought taking a deep breathe, but blushed also. Still how could I resist?

"And since then, he becomes a member of Team ZRVT. The other three members were Zerena Slithers, Roth Mandle, and Tyler Shepard. But things have been different, he spent more time with his team than me. After graduation, they came to my house for meetings. They seemed like really cool people. But one day, Sun and I snuck out of my house to help them on a undercover mission. They didn't know about it, until we arrived in a submarine that belonged to the White Fang. Everything was going good until..." Neptune looks back at the time he made a whirlpool, the same one where it apparently killed Team ZRVT. He and Sun were the only survivors of the accident. "I was thrown into the ocean by a member of the White Fang. While I was sure I was a goner. Jupiter jumps in to get me back into the surface. But when he got closed, my semblance went out of control and made a whirlpool, sucking us all in. Sun and I are the only ones to survive. But Team ZRVT, including my brother are gone. Their bodies weren't found, but the police decides to give up the search and declared them dead." This got Weiss shaken, to think he's was just an ordinary person with semblance, just like her and everyone else. "I was sure that I killed him. It haunted me for the rest of my life. Since then, I vowed to never again touch the water, nor to use my semblance. Until today, when you saw it. I was afraid I might hurt anyone, or even worse. Earlier, Ceres saw the news about the embargo sinking, she then sent me a link. To my surprise, one of the culprits was my brother. Or is it really my brother? That's why I took the mission, to find him and bring him back." Neptune recaps every memory he has, but then overwhelmed by the worse ones he put in his head. Getting lightheaded and fell next to the walls while clinging onto them. Weiss rushes to help him up. "I thought I've shed enough tears for years. Tears will always remind me of water, and the day I lost my brother. But in the end, how much I can hold them, after what happened to Jupiter?" He covered his eyes in shame, tears flown from his lids.

Weiss couldn't help but wanting to keep him away from the bad memories. But none of this is going to stop without any closure. Weiss holds him close. Wanting to tell him some things to assure him. Holding her hand onto his cheek. Neptune uncovered his eyes to look at her. He thought nobody but his best friend could understand what he's going through. But to his surprise, she comforted him with some of the things they have in common. He places his hand on her back.

"Fears are nothing to be ashamed of. But in the end, they became a shell from the environment. You're not the only one who's been going through the dark. You want to know something? You're lucky to have a loving family. But mine was never in a best place, my father only married my mother for her name, my name. He would do anything to manipulate us. But my sister broke free when she entered Atlas Academy. She's the only person who's been there for me, cared for me. Something I wished my mother would've done instead of trying to drink her life away. After my father gave my heir status of the company to my brother, he's making him suffer also. No matter if he sided with him. But with my father in jail, he's been doing better. He just can't talk to me yet. And my mother began to bond with him again. She seems to have forgotten about the past. When my team and I went to Atlas, she was about to become the next Winter Maiden. But it failed when Penny acquired the maiden's powers. But it was a good thing, cause then Winter would've been killed by an assailant. But then my father caused the generator in Mantle to be shut down after making a deal with a madman to gain the victory to the council's seat. But luckily, my mother has evidence. And he went to jail. It devastated my brother as he was the only person he could talked to, despite his sly and cunning smug on his face. What I regretted that day was never protecting my brother when he needed me. Just when Ironwood was about to engage Martial Law to abandoned Mantle in a panic, I could see that Winter believed that her loyalties to her superiors comes first. Since then, we evacuated the people of Mantle. Afterwards, Winter got promoted in Ironwood's place since he resigned. I understood that she has a path she felt the need to follow. So do I."

"I'm sorry. I guess your life wasn't as easy."

"Believe me, it wasn't. I never regret siding with you. But I do regret betraying her." After Neptune feels better from the nightmares. He went back to sleep as Weiss covered him with a bedsheet. She still sat there looking at him, sleeping peacefully. She has the thought about kissing him on the cheek. Leaning her head to place her lips. But she refrain before it happens. No, not now. What am I doing?

Meanwhile, back in Poseidon Island. Winter and her men remained there in search for her younger sister and the supposed "suspect." Now she is worried that Weiss will end up a fugitive again. "Have you found them yet?" She asks two of her searchers. They saluted in response. "No, sir. No sign of the suspect or Ms. Schnee!" She groaned with her palm on the eyes. "How hard is it to find two individuals?! Find them again, and bring them back, right now!" Winter demanded, she didn't mean to be hard on her comrades, but she got extremely worried for her sister. "Y-yes, sir!" They said frantically, scared at the tone of her voice.

She is then met by another soldier, who also saluted her. "Sir, there's no sign of them left. Our trackers on their scrolls indicate that they're no longer on the island."

"What does this mean?" Winter glared.

"They took a ferry and left for Argus, sir." He responded.

"I see." Winter turned away. Not looking at her comrade for a second. "Call Mistral forces. We need Vasilias locked up behind bars. Only he has the information about the Thunderbolts." She ordered. She then closed her eyes. I'm sorry, Weiss. But I cannot let her harm you, not now, not ever. And I can't let that boy be a danger to you. She thought. Then a pilot ran out of the ship. "Bomb! There's a bomb! Get down!" Then they all ducked down as the ship exploded into flames and pieces.

"General Schnee, sir, are you alright?!"

"Forget me, call for back up!"

"Sir! This is Delta-7, our ships' been destroyed! We need assistance!" Another soldier then radioed for help.

[prismabird]

How would you explain Till to new fans?

Oh, there are so many aspects to Till. For brand new fans, I would say - Till looks very tough and intimidating up on stage. But he’s actually a really sensitive person, with terrible stage fright. It takes a lot of effort for him to be up there. He’s prone to self-harm, both active and passive. There are people who will direct him to harm himself for his art, and he will not protect himself. So you see, even though he looks very tough, he is in many ways gentle and vulnerable. 

Along with writing the lyrics for Rammstein, he also writes poetry. Like his lyrics, much of it is about expressing feelings through the ‘obscene’. Till likes to play with social taboos. 

You should know about his history - he came from a complicated home life. His father was less than stellar, absent a lot, and at least occasionally abusive. Till once stated in an interview that he still has nightmares about him, even after his death. He was almost an Olympic swimmer when he was young, but was a) interrogated by the Stasi when he was 15 because he snuck out of his hotel room in Italy to buy porn, and he was presumed to be deferring and b) had to train so hard he ended up tearing his stomach muscles and had to have surgery. 

He was a basket weaver in East Germany, and was able to live with his daughter, who he raised as a single father for seven years, on one day of work a week, because East Germany had a lot of problems, but socialism/communism can have some benefits too (cough socialist PSA cough). After the wall fell, life was no longer so easy - he (and the rest of the band) stole livestock, ate roadkill, stole cars and sold them - whatever they had to do. It’s easy to judge actions like this, but honestly, we will do what we must to survive.

Till has been very close with Richard since before the wall fell, and lived with him after the wall fell. He and Richard would party into the morning, and then Till would take his daughter to school, and they would work and start the whole thing over again (all I can say to this is that cocaine is a hell of a drug). Richard was a culinary student, and Till would beg him to make doughnuts so often that Richard nicknamed him doughnut. Which is adorable.

Till loves cock. No, more than you think. No, even more than that. He sculpts cocks, writes poems dedicated to cocks, pulls fake cocks out of his pants onstage, and has written…I think five songs dedicated to being fucked by men. In spite of all of this, he has never been officially out, although most fans seem fine assuming he’s bi at this point. 

Honestly, he loves cock like a bisexual 14 year who has just truly realized his genital’s potential for the first time. If you listen to Lindemann lyrics, particularly Skills in Pills, you will understand what I mean. This … can be annoying on occasion, but he’s a doll, so we let it go. 

Till likes to eat, he likes sweets, and there are a few cute stories involving him and gummi bears, which is why I personally like to associate him with them. Also because…

Till is a bear. He loves to be outside, alone. There are wonderful pictures of him just sitting around in the mud like its nothing, that I will have to find later. And he seems to have a deep connection with nature and animals. As a young man, he once tamed an angry goat in his village. He was constantly wandering around with sick kittens and wild rats in his pocket. He can hunt and clean a dear with ease, and will still care for an injured sparrow if needed. Till loves nature like it’s a part of him. 

I’m sure I’ve forgotten many things. But this is good to start. 

[artificialqueens]

You Know You Love Me, Chapter 9 (Branjie) - Kiki

A/N: Hey everyone, chapter 9 is here! Only two more left and then this fic is finally complete! Hope you enjoy!

2 years ago:

It was the start of summer break and everyone was relieved. Finals season had been a stressful time for Vanessa (not so much for Brooke; she kinda just showed up, wrote some stuff down and went back home) and she was ready to let her hair down and spend the summer having fun with her friends.

It was times like these where Brooke and Vanessa were eternally grateful for the fact that their mothers were such close friends and that they coordinated their family’s summer plans so they were both staying in the Hamptons at the exact same time. Akeria and Silky were coming to stay with them soon too and they couldn’t wait to spend their days by the pool and their nights at house parties, fancy dinners and clubs.

Akeria and Silky were arriving that afternoon and Brooke and Vanessa had decided to go to a pool party in a mansion nearby and told the other two girls to meet them there. It was their first day in the Hamptons and they were both already feeling overwhelmingly relaxed by being at the pool with a cocktail in their hand.

This year was the first year that they were allowed to go to parties and because of that, they didn’t really know anyone yet. However, they knew they would soon make lots of friends and they were excited to spend the summer partying with them. Vanessa was particularly enjoying the feeling of not having everyone’s attention on her and Brooke. She felt free.

The two girls had spent their time sunbathing and drinking Cosmos but Vanessa had started to get bored of that pretty quickly and suggested that they should go in the pool (that way she could get a better look at Brooke’s body in her purple bikini). Brooke agreed immediately and they both took their coverups off and walked down the steps to enter the pool. There were a lot of people swimming and just talking to their friends so once again, Vanessa felt like no one was watching and she loved it.

Brooke was splashing water at her and they started to have a water fight which ended up with Brooke picking Vanessa up to stop her from throwing more water in her direction. She then threw her into the water and Vanessa immediately started to chase her. Vanessa was a much better swimmer than Brooke so she caught up with her pretty quickly and Brooke found herself backed up into the corner of the pool.

Vanessa threw her legs around Brooke’s waist and Brooke was able to hold Vanessa up with minimal effort since they were mostly underwater. Brooke’s hands were gripped firmly on Vanessa’s thighs (Vanessa wished she would move them just a bit lower so they were on her ass) and Vanessa had her arms wrapped around Brooke’s neck. They were so close to each other that they could feel each other’s breath. They had been making out a lot whenever they were in private but never in public. Brooke would have absolutely no problem kissing her right then and there in front of everyone but she didn’t think Vanessa was ready for people to know about her sexuality just yet.

“I wanna kiss you so bad right now.” Vanessa whispered into Brooke’s ear, her lips lightly touching Brooke’s neck. Vanessa was breathing heavily and Brooke could tell she was turned on which, in turn, turned Brooke on too. Brooke had to take a deep breath before gently running her hands up and down Vanessa’s thighs.

“Wanna go inside? We can find a room.” Brooke suggested quietly.

“Yes…please, I wanna go right now.” Vanessa whimpered and Brooke had to hold back a laugh at the effect she had on the brunette. Brooke placed her back down and took her hand to lead Vanessa out of the pool. They quickly dried off and grabbed their bags before Vanessa grabbed Brooke’s hand and dragged her in the direction of the large house behind the pool.

As soon as they entered the house, they quickly realised that there were people everywhere in there too but Vanessa didn’t care. She kept a firm grip on Brooke’s hand and pulled her up the stairs, glancing into the various bedrooms until she found one she liked the look of. Brooke threw their bags on the floor, closed the door behind them and immediately pushed Vanessa up against it. Their lips met quickly and urgently and Vanessa loved the feeling of being caged in by Brooke. Brooke was flooding all of her senses and Vanessa was feeling extremely overwhelmed with desire.

Brooke broke their lips apart and immediately began to kiss down Vanessa’s neck and collarbone and Vanessa was trying her very best to suppress her moans and not let anyone heat them. Suddenly, Brooke tugged on Vanessa’s waist and pushed her onto the large bed in the centre of the room. Vanessa couldn’t help but let herself fall back onto the soft mattress as her arms quickly began searching for Brooke so she could pull her down on top of her.

Vanessa quickly realised that the both of them were in their bikinis and that was probably the most exposed she had ever been around Brooke Lynn in that kind of way. Brooke had Vanessa’s hands pinned above her head and was kissing down her chest and stomach and Vanessa was sure that if Brooke didn’t do something soon, she was going to explode. Brooke’s mouth was getting closer and closer to where Vanessa needed it most and she was so excited that this was finally about to happen until—

A phone. One of their phone’s was ringing obnoxiously loud. Brooke stopped in her tracks and raised an eyebrow at Vanessa, trying to see if it was a call that she needed to take. But Vanessa recognised the ringtone as one that Silky had set for herself and was immediately disappointed.

“I think Silky and Akeria are here.” Vanessa said with a disgruntled tone to her voice.

“Oh.” Brooke replied, also extremely disappointed that they could not continue with what they were about to do.

—

Now:

A week had passed since the Halloween party and Vanessa felt like her adrenaline was still buzzing from it. Her confidence was at an all time high and she felt unstoppable now that everyone knew about her being gay and nobody had anything to hold over her.

Vanessa was having a relaxed Saturday morning to herself because her mom was away on yet another work trip, but Vanessa didn’t mind this time. she had lit her favourite Winter candles; she had her favourite pancakes and coffee delivered from a brunch restaurant near her house and she had an unlimited amount of time to do one of her favourite activities: writing in her diary.

Vanessa had kept a diary since she was ten years old ever since she had gotten one as a gift from her grandmother. Her diary was the one place where she could be completely free and say whatever she wanted without fear of someone finding out (mainly because she kept them locked in a trunk at the end of her bed and she was the only one who knew where the key was located). Whenever she felt stressed or upset, she would just write and write until it felt like her hand was going to fall off. She also wrote about all of the good things happening in her life too and recently, she found herself writing an awful lot about Brooke Lynn Hytes.

She wrote: “I’ve been spending practically every minute of my free time with Brooke this past week and I’m so happy that we’re finally together. Technically, we haven’t said that we’re dating but it’s so obvious that we are. We made out in front of everyone at the Halloween party and in just a few hours, we’re going to make it extra official. She’s coming over tonight and I have a super romantic dinner planned. I’ve ordered all of her favourite foods and I just bought a new outfit that will hopefully leave her wanting to undress me as soon as she sees me in it. I can’t believe we still haven’t had sex yet. Every single time I’m around her, all I wanna do is jump on top of her but it just hasn’t been the right time yet. But I am determined: tonight is going to be the night.  

—

The dining room of the Mateo’s penthouse was decorated to perfection. The table was set with tealight candles running down the length of the table, some flowers in the centre and there was even some music playing in the background. The only thing that was out of place was a very upset Vanessa sitting at the end of the table staring at the time on her phone.

Vanessa had told Brooke to be there at eight o’clock and it was now ten minutes past nine and she still hadn’t arrived. To make matters worse, Brooke hadn’t answered her phone any of the twelve times that Vanessa had called her. Twenty more minutes had passed and Vanessa was starting to get worried. What could have happened that would make Brooke not show up? Maybe she forgot? Maybe she took a nap and didn’t set an alarm? Either way, Vanessa knew that Brooke was going to have to make it up to her big time. She was on the verge of just going over to Brooke’s apartment just to see what was happening when she heard the elevator doors open and an extremely drunk Brooke stumbled in.

“Nessaaaa!” Brooke strolled into the living room (almost tripping over her own feet twice) and wrapped her arms around the shorter girl.

“Brooke, where the hell were you? Why are you drunk?” Out of all the scenarios that Vanessa had imagined, Brooke showing up absolutely shitfaced was not one of them.

“Some of my boarding school friends were visiting the city so we went out for cocktails. I had waaaay too many though.” Brooke giggled at herself and Vanessa rolled her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath to stop herself from snapping at the blonde.

Brooke’s eyes fluttered over to the dining room doors where she could see candles and flowers, and could faintly here piano music playing. The realisation struck her like lightning: this wasn’t just a casual hangout, this was a date…and she was an hour and a half late for it. She started panicking internally and tried to come up with some kind of excuse as to why she didn’t realise but she couldn’t think of anything good enough. Vanessa had gone to all of this effort to spend time with her and she just hadn’t shown up? This was awful. She decided that the only thing she could do was be honest with Vanessa, even if it did start World War 3.

“Shit, V, I…I didn’t realise you were planning all of this…I’m so sorry.” Brooke started mumbling her apologies and without any warning, Vanessa started to cry really hard. Brooke tried to get up to go and comfort her but she couldn’t sit up right and Vanessa couldn’t handle seeing her in that state anymore.

“I want you to leave my apartment and I want you to leave me alone forever. I’m done with you not taking this seriously, Brooke.” Vanessa said in a harsh tone and tried to walk away buy Brooke grabbed her hand with a tight grip and wouldn’t let her go.

“Don’t leave, Nessa, I’m so sorry…” Brooke was slurring her words so heavily that it was a miracle Vanessa could understand what she was saying. Vanessa tried to get Brooke to let go of her but she couldn’t, the blonde was holding on too strong.

“I don’t care if you’re sorry, Brooke. I’m sorry that I can’t keep waiting around for you to realise that what we have is special.” Vanessa said softly and she could see Brooke’s eyes slightly filling up with tears but she honestly couldn’t be sure if it was because of what she was saying or because of how drunk Brooke was.

“Stop, baby…I do realise. Just come cuddle!” Brooke kept trying to grab Vanessa by the waist and pull her down onto the couch but Vanessa was able to stop her.

“These last few months have been some of the best months of my life because of you, B. but I can’t do it anymore. This was the last straw.” Vanessa ran up the stairs to her bedroom leaving Brooke by herself, trying her best to apologise but unable to get her words out properly or even think straight. All Brooke could hear was a door slam in the distance as she sat on Vanessa’s couch trying not to fall asleep.

She was on the verge of passing out but a gentle hand on her arm woke her up. She hoped deep down that it would be Vanessa but unfortunately for her, it was Dorota. The housekeeper held out a glass of water and tried to get Brooke to take a sip of it but Brooke used all of her strength to push the glass away. She stood up on her shaky legs and tried to leave but could feel Dorota trying to get her to sit back down.

“Please, Miss Brooke, you will feel better if you sit back down and have some water.” Dorota tried to plead with the younger girl but she was having none of it. Brooke stumbled back into the elevator that she had previously stumbled out of and closed the door behind her, leaving a concerned Dorota behind her.

—

It had been an hour since Brooke had left Vanessa’s apartment and she had sobered up pretty quickly. She didn’t know if it was because of the cold air of because of Vanessa’s deeply upsetting words but she was suddenly able to think clearly and, unfortunately for Brooke, she remembered everything that Vanessa had said.

She couldn’t believe all of the effort that Vanessa had gone to so that the two of them could have a perfect night. She couldn’t accept the fact that she had ruined her chances of finally making Vanessa her girlfriend…all because she got too drunk to function.

She had been walking around the Upper East Side for an hour now, which probably wasn’t the best idea for an 18-year-old girl to be doing considering it was almost one o’clock in the morning, but Brooke didn’t want to go home. The idea of being alone with her thoughts terrified her more than she cared to admit. If anything, she wished she could go back to being as drunk as she was when she left Vanessa’s apartment.

It was a cruel night in early November which meant that Brooke was absolutely freezing and on the verge of shivering. She wasn’t exactly known for dressing for the weather, wearing a short black dress and a thin leather jacket. She didn’t really recognise the area she was in but she figured she should probably go somewhere to warm up for a bit before heading home.

She found a new bar that she had never been to before and decided to go in there for a little bit. Immediately, she downed three shots of tequila and after fifteen minutes or so, that familiar drunken state was beginning to come back. She ordered two more drinks and drank them far too quickly and just as she was about to order her next one, she almost fell off the bar stool. Luckily, there was a man there to catch her and stop her from landing on the floor.

“Woah, hey…are you alright?” he asked concerned, and Brooke shuddered in disgust when she realised the man who was touching was old enough to be her dad. “What’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone in a bar like this?”

“Fuck off.” Brooke returned her attention to her drink and presumed that the man would’ve gotten the hint that she wasn’t interested. The alcohol was definitely hitting her again, but instead of making her feel happy like it did just a few hours ago, she was now feeling an overwhelming urge to cry.

“Wow…I just stopped you from falling but whatever. I was just trying to get to know you but I guess I won’t offer to buy you a drink then.” The guy was acting like Brooke rejecting him was the worst thing she could’ve possibly done and usually Brooke would’ve gone on a rant about how he wasn’t entitled to the attention of any female but on this night, she couldn’t think of anything other than Vanessa. Brooke rolled her eyes as the man spoke and when he had the audacity to continue to speak, Brooke knew she couldn’t take it anymore. It was like all of her emotions hit her at once and she just needed to let them all out.

“You wanna get to know me? FINE. I just ruined the chances of ever having a relationship with the girl I love, the most beautiful girl in the entire world because I got too drunk! I ruined everything! And you don’t understand, I love her more than anything. I’ve loved her for so long. Do you have any idea what it’s like –” Brooke’s drunken ramblings went on for a long time and although the random man tried to escape numerous times, Brooke wouldn’t let him go until she was fully finished.

She also wasn’t aware of how loud she was being…or that Trixie Mattel, a girl from her school who was known for being one of Gossip Girl’s most reliable informants, was sitting at the other end of the bar with her phone out…and she had filmed her entire rant. Trixie knew when Gossip Girl saw this, it would be posted immediately and she really hoped Brooke sobered up before Vanessa saw it so she could do some damage control. Then she remembered Brooke wasn’t her friend and she didn’t particularly care about what the outcome was and pressed send.

—

Spotted: Brooke Lynn Hytes drunkenly professing her love for Vanessa. I don’t know what’s more embarrassing; the fact that Brooke was drinking alone or the fact that she had to force a stranger to listen to her problems. You better come get your girl, V. XOXO, Gossip Girl.

[movienotesbyzawmer]

October 22: Friday the 13th - The Final Chapter

(previous notes: Friday the 13th Part 3)

I'm on movie number four in this eight movie project, and for the first time I'll be seeing one of these movies that I haven't ever seen before! When I do my watch-a-movie-and-take-notes projects, I generally do them for movies I've already seen before so that it's not too frustrating to simultaneously watch & type. But I'll make an exception for these Friday the 13th movies in light of the fact that they suck.

I remember this being out at my local theater in 1984, when I was 13, and even thinking it might be fun to see it, but I never got around to it.

It really must have been bittersweet for audiences at the time, knowing that this would be the final chapter. Each time they had a positive moment of enjoyment with this movie, they had to remember, "oh, I'm really going to miss this. It shall all be gone. Once the lights come back on, the days of new Friday the 13th movies will never return."

unless

Okay, watching this now for the first time ever.

Again beginning with a rehash. This time however, it's a montage of moments from the first two movies. Wait, now here's some of the third movie. But it's all framed by one of the monologues from the second movie. Much shorter and less of a cheap move than the last two movies did.

The title has a new title-plus-mask image… and then THE FINAL CHAPTER arrives to blow that image up with fire and splody-sounds!

The credits promise the likes of Corey Feldman and Crispin Glover, so that's exciting.

Okay, now it looks like we're at the ranch where the third one took place. They're hauling bodies out of the barn & other buildings. It looks like Jason's body is one of the bodies because hockey mask!

Actually, I think that first shot was a long-ish crane shot. Cinematically ambitious I guess.

We don't know yet what happened to the girl at the end of the last one. It's weird because this scene is at night, but the last movie ended with daytime paramedic activity at the ranch. I'm confused. Please help me. Please tell me that it will all be okay.

One of the covered up bodies has stirred! Jason is probably up to his not-be-dead-after-all tricks!

This scene is about a pair of frisky hospital workers in the "cold room" where there is at least one body, plus a television where the girl "just wants to watch the news". But 80s-style aerobics is what's really on the TV. And she kisses him after all and gets quite flirty, but then takes it all back because he is so insensitive or something. They show the aerobics a lot. It's all pelvic and prurient. Then Jason kills the guy with a bone saw and then goes and finds the girl and kills her with something else because diversity.

Then an abrupt cut to daytime joggers in the woods somewhere!

Now we are learning about the family of the joggers. They live in the country where there is a legend of a psycho, so I guess we're in the Crystal Lake area. The youngest child is Corey Feldman and his personality is "likes video games and wears a monster mask while playing them".

Now we are learning about the kids that rented a house across the street. Crispin Glover and another dude are in a car, talking about a girl and they clearly don't know how to have this kind of conversation, and the writers don't know how to pretend like they do so the other guy does a gag about how an invisible computer told him that CG is bad at sex. It is an unappealing intro to these characters. We even know there are a bunch of other people in the car, way too many honestly, but we don't get to know them. Just the two people who talk like broken robots about a woman.

Just to keep the mood where it ought to be, a hitchhiker they drove past gets impaled by Jason!

CF, a tweenager I should point out, is peeping-tom-ing at the canoodling couple in the rented house, and it is interesting to speculate as to whose idea it was for him to act the way he does when he watches them. He bounces excitedly and slams his head repeatedly into a pillow. Whose idea.

Now there's a skinny dipping scene. They definitely have arrived to the point in the series where they feel it's important to show pretty girls without any clothes.

For some reason, CF and the adult older sister drove to where the skinny dipping was happening, but they bolted when they realized that's what it was. There is ch ch ch ch ch ha ha ha ha ha on them as they have car trouble in the woods as they head home, plus also as two of the swimmers are hanging out. But they both turn out to be fakeouts! No one is dying at all! At least we'll always have the hitchhiker. They can't take that away from us.

The fakeout with the CF subplot is that it was just some handsome man that comes along to help. He says he is this deep in the woods because he is hunting for bear. CF totally calls him out! There's no way he's hunting for bear! No one is just like "it is bear hunting season and I am enjoying some leisurely bear hunting time". CF is no fool.

They decide to take Bear Hunter in as a guest for perhaps the afternoon. Because of the bubble of this movie, CF shows the Bear Hunter his monster toys and Bear Hunter shares in his enthusiasm.

0:37:13 - Now we are choking down this awkward scene where the young people are hanging out in their house trying to deliver dialogue that is not consistent with normal human psychology. The gist is that the men want to be sexual with the women but there are subtle social obstacles.

!!! Crispin Glover really is interesting! His screen presence absolutely towers above the rest of the cast, when he reacts unfavorably to being teased. But seriously all these interactions are so painful.

For our next murder project, we have an inflatable boat made of thin, vulnerable rubber for a person to get stabbed through. It requires assuming that Jason's magic powers allow him to just hide under water, waiting for a naked lady to lie down in the boat at night. This project was completed on time and under budget.

Seriously, the most terrifying scenes in this movie are the ones where the sexually frustrated young adults are hanging out and attempting to use words.

Another death just happened because the boyfriend of the recently-killed naked lady went to check on her, found her dead, then was Jason'd with some implements that I couldn't really understand. Something with a handle shoved into him somehow. It is filmed weirdly and then we just move on to Bear Hunter, camping nearby.

This is a disturbing turn… we're back on the uninteresting young adults, and one of them announces that he has found something very interesting! We see that it is old movie reels. They start watching them. It's old, old film of naked people. They laugh and laugh and laugh. Maybe this is art?

Pretty cool visual with this next death, we just see the shadow of Jason coming at her and killing her with a something. Looks cool as a shadow thing, plus it isn't "those stupid characters talking" which is a HUGE bonus.

We're back to CF's family; Mom saw something that startled her but we don't know what, and CF and Big Sister are… driving home in the car? Where were they, why did they drive somewhere, I forget. Maybe they had to run into town to pick up a packet of it-doesn't-matter-we-just-needed-Mom-to-be-alone.

Just like that, Older Sister went looking for Mom, but ends up taking shelter from the rain in Bear Hunter's tent. Bear Hunter, in a very predictable fakeout, slashes a hole in the tent because what is she doing in there anyway.

But we cut back to the young adults and CG gets a very ugly death! He's all "hey where's the corkscrew" and Jason makes his hand be corkscrewed and makes his face be stabbed!

Then he kills one of the other young adults just right afterward by being outside her second floor bedroom window and pulling her out the window SO HARD. Seriously it must be a hard job coming up with different ways to kill them, give them a break.

Back to Bear Hunter; he's fessing up to his true motive which is to hunt Jason. His story is hard to believe, and Big Sister is taking it in very diplomatically.

The one guy in the group of the young adults who is the biggest asshole is also the one most amused by the old films. We see them a lot, these old films they are watching. It is the silent era's version of soft core porn - women dancing naked. Anyway, the asshole's death happens when he gets the idea to be close to the projector screen, enabling Jason to stab him through it and making it look kind of cool and be a scene that ends with the projector-still-running cadence.

New death - guy is taking a post-coital shower and Jason comes in and shoves his arm through the sliding glass shower door thing and very effectively crushes the guy's head against the wall. Then the girlfriend comes in and discovers him; she runs down to the front door, but she can't open it, she just can't open it, it just won't open, and it ends with somehow Jason axe-killing her through the door from outside. They don't show it very well and no one probably ever clearly explained to anyone how it was supposed to work.

1:09:20 - This is followed immediately by a scene that is also poorly choreographed - Bear Hunter returns with Big Sister but it's a fakeout because for some reason they break the glass of the side door to get in, even though CF is right there. They are all frightened as if they know about deaths happening, even though they don't know about the deaths. It's just that the power has been spotty; that’s why things are urgent, as far as they know.

They decide to investigate the house where the young adults are staying. They are gingerly surveying the living room, and they walk right by where the projector screen murder happened, but they see no evidence of that crime.

1:11:55 - Bear Hunter tells the big sister "you stay right here with Corey". I'm pretty sure that just happened. I think he was referring to CF, whose character is not named Corey and who also is not with them.

In a shocking piece of non-linear storytelling, a dog jumps out a window in slow motion. Art. ART.

Jason kills Bear Hunter right in front of Big Sister, and even though his mission in life has been to hunt Jason, Bear Hunter doesn't even fight him off, he just begs Big Sister to run as Jason pounds on him. Big sister does run, but each of the house's exits has a dead person surprise that's too scary for her to go past so she's stuck inside with Jason!

But CF has heard her screaming and comes across the street to be with her. Oh but wait, I think they are actually now back at their house. I missed how that happened. That chase ends with a moment where she has reason to think she might have killed him by hitting him pretty hard with a cathode ray television set with an approximately 15" screen. But no, he changes back from almost-dead to regular-Jason and chases them around some more.

1:21:45 - They must have felt like their secret weapon for this movie was slo-mo thrown-through-a-window situations because Big Sister ends a portion of being chased by Jason by throwing herself through a window and landing painfully on the ground outside. Jason's all "you won this round Big Sister, but I'll be back. This is not The Final Chapter of this story!"

Everyone seems to have wound up back at the young adults' house, and CF has come up with an ingenious idea - he shaves his head to confuse Jason! Then he and Big Sister stab Jason a lot and it's all very gory and climactic.

The way the movie ends is that Jason's body twitches a little on the ground after they mostly kill him, and CF freaks out and stabs Jason many many, many more times! Cut to later on when Big Sister is in a hospital bed being told it will all be okay by some Caucasian men in white coats. They suggest that CF was pretty crazy for a minute there but that will pass. CF comes to give her a hug… but he looks scary! You guys, look, he looks scary! The big finish is that CF has a sinister look on his face. Cut to credits.

We never saw what happened to the Mom. Or the main girl from Part 3. Also it seems like there were some other young adults that just stopped being in the movie. How dare they.

Okay so I am halfway through this ridiculous project. I have watched four of the eight Friday the 13th movies. I watched them all by myself at my home during the COVID-19 pandemic. These challenging times I tell you.

(next: Friday the 13th - A New Beginning)

[fullmetalgirl98]

Day 2~Favorite anime you’ve watched so far

Free!

So, where do I start.

First of all, I start by saying that (as with many other questions, in this challenge) it's a bit impossible to choose just one anime to be defined as "favorite"... I have a lot of which I can't help thinking about when I'm asked this question.

But I’ll base my choice on a practical evaluation criterion: which of all of these, first of all, made my heart beat faster than any other, made me identify up to really cry, reminded me of myself and made me to first exclaim "Here. This is for sure my favorite"?

Well. The answer is certainly "Free!"

When I was a child I'd been practicing swimming for 6 years, but then I had to stop ... On the one hand because between high school and endless activities I couldn't find two hours in the afternoon, on the other because having a meter long hair didn't help in the more practical actions such as hurrying and going home ...

But I've always loved the feeling that being in the water gave me . A little less I loved competitions: too much anxiety.

For this reason, when for the first time (I believe 4 years ago?) I accidentally approached this anime, really intrigued by the topic ... I was overwhelmed by emotions. Through Free! I found myself in that environment that I haven't frequented for a long time, and it was as if I was seriously there ... Not only for the setting (roughly I think the pools are all similar), but also for the feeling of the diving board under your feet, all the paraphernalia put on your head, the heat on your skin, the smell of chlorine and anxiety before diving in ahaha.

I tried all this again ... So I’ll always be grateful to these amazing guys.

OH, COME ON! Good heavens, guys, not for nothing the only one original figure I own ( my God, they cost as much as a kidney! 😱) is just my favorite character from this anime! (that I won't be here to say who he is hahaha)

Just think, I brought a friend of mine (she’s also a swimmer, even if she’s been practicing literaly for a lifetime) to the world of anime thanks to Free!

I have to say that of the three seasons, my favorite is absolutely the third (for now ... the fourth is coming and I can't wait!!😍😍😍😍ASGHKAWCHTNWETU) ... I love too much the fact that all friendships have been finally restored ... I could not help but love it.😭💕

30 day anime challenge

(Obviously I didn't succeed in my intention of not writing a thesis on the topic... Sumimasen)

[getparkd]

Got To Be NC!

As you might know, I am a huge fan of parks. Some of my favorite public lands are the very ones in my home state of North Carolina. I have lived here my whole life and have been visiting these parks since I was a kid. Although I have not visited all of them, one day I know I will. So, enjoy this list (and review) of the beautiful parks of NC!

1. Carolina Beach 

Fun Fact: Carolina Beach is one of the only places you can find the carnivorous Venus Flytrap and Pitcher Plant in the wild. This park is home to a subtropical wetland, which is the perfect ecosystem for these carnivorous plants. While you may be tempted to take one home with you, beware because the state of North Carolina made it a felony to poach Venus Flytraps in 2014. Also in the park is Sugarloaf Dune, which has been used as a navigational marker since 1633. In total, the park has 7 miles of trail, and is one I have visited many times during my stays in Wilmington. 

2. Carvers Creek

3. Chimney Rock

This spire of rock is instantly recognizable to anyone within miles. Chimney Rock is 315 foot tall and overlooks Hickory Nut Gorge and Lake Lure. “Lake Lure?” you may ask, yes Lake Lure. The spot where they filmed the unforgettable lake scene in Dirty Dancing, as well as the scene of Baby dancing down the stairs. The town is also home to an annual Dirty Dancing festival, so you might want to plan your trip when Baby and Johnny are back in town. As well as Dirty Dancing, you may recognize this park from the climax scene in The Last of the Mohicans. 

4. Crowders Mountain

5. Dismal Swamp

6. Elk Knob

7. Eno River

8. Falls Lake

9. Fort Fisher

Home to the Civil War-Era bunkers and one of the best aquariums in North Carolina. Fort Fisher is a hidden gem in ENC. As a student at UNC at Wilmington, I know all to well about the beach. I know where to find a dirty beach, a crowded beach, and I certainly know how to find a good beach. Fort Fisher is just that. You can sit on the sand and watch the pelicans fly overhead and the cargo ships come into port without the worry of trash and dirty water. Because it is a state park/recreation area, it is kept very clean and has nicer facilities than public beaches in the area. It also has 4 wheel drive access to the beach. If you are visiting, don’t forget to stop by and see Luna, the albino alligator at the aquarium. 

10. Fort Macon

Fort Macon! This place is probably one of the most interesting places in North Carolina. I recently wen there with my little brother to have a little day trip. The park itself is a beautiful ecosystem, as the Musgrove trees are my favorite. We stopped first at the beach was had clear water and a great view of the Cape Lookout lighthouse from the shore. Next we went to the actual fort which was the best part of the trip. Walking throughout the fort you see rich stone works and manicured lawns. I got some really cool Insta and VSCO photos here as well. Highly recommen! 

11. Goose Creek

12. Gorges

13. Grandfather Mountain

One of the windiest spots in the entire state. Grandfather Mountain is home to the famous mile-high swinging bridge. Walking across the bridge is both exhilarating and terrifying. As requested by the staff, hold on to your belongings, and even small children, to keep them form blowing into the valley below. It is also home to an amazing zoo that houses black bears and mountain lions. 

14. Hammocks Beach

Hammocks Beach State Park is a park I visit quite often as it is only about 30 minutes from where I live. I have visited both the mainland site, which has an amazing visitors center and serene wooded trails, and the Bear Island site. Bear Island is a 3-mile long barrier island that is home to nesting sea turtles and clean beaches. A ferry, kayak, or personal boat can take you over to the island to enjoy the water!

15. Hanging Rock

16. Haw River

17. Jockey’s Ridge

My favorite! Jockey’s Ridge is located in Nags Head, North Carolina, right next to Kitty Hawk, the site of the first human flight. Jockey’s Ridge is the tallest active sand dune on the Atlantic Coast. Hiking through this park feels like you are in Star Wars! Some of my favorite activities to do are sandboarding down the giant dunes and paragliding. Jockey’s Ridge to me is the most fun and the most beautiful of all the parks I have visited.

18. Jones Lake

One of the two lakes formed by the geological phenomenon called Carolina Bays. This phenom creates lakes of varying pH levels, resulting in different coloration of the water. Jones Lake is colored a bright red color. This lake has great swimming and fishing. Beware alligators though!

19. Jordan Lake

Jordan Lake is like other lakes in my state, but the one things that makes it interesting: the Bald Eagle. Jordan Lake is the summertime home of this rare species. It is fascinating to watch this birds fly and hunt for prey. You can enjoy swimming and hiking, as there is 15 miles of trails throughout the park.

20. Kerr Lake

Another amazing park in the beautiful state of NC! Just like Jorden Lake, it is also home to a bald eagle. We have camped on the shore a few times and I love waking up early to watch the sun rise over the lake. We take our boat and pull our tubes. Another great thing this park has is rolling, smooth roads. Take your longboard and carve down these streets. There is also a really nice marina down the road who has killer ice cream. 

21. Lake James

22. Lake Norman

23. Lake Waccamaw

Just like Jones and Carolina Beach, these park is home to some cool species. The American alligator and the Venus Flytrap are easy to find in this swampy park. While the slews and backcountry of this park are full of blood-sucking mosquitos and alligators, the lake front dock is an amazing spot to swim. The pH level of this lake makes it perfectly clear. Not only is it clear, but it also is only about 4 feet deep which makes it perfect for younger or inexperienced swimmers to have fun without all the worry. I personally like driving around and seeing all the beautiful lakes houses after taking a swim, but there is also a really nice restaurant on the lake front that I’ve heard has amazing burgers. 

24. Lumber River

Lumber River is the only black water river in North Carolina, and is also a National Wild and Scenic River. This park ahs great kayaking, but beware alligators. 

25. Mayo River

26. Medoc Mountain

27. Merchants Millpond

28. Morrow Mountain

29. Mount Jefferson

It is our family tradition to go every Thanksgiving to get our Christmas tree from the mountains. So, last year we decided to go to West Jefferson and we visited Mount Jefferson State Park. It was approximately 17 degrees and there was ice everywhere, but we hiked to the top and enjoyed the view of the valley below. One of the coolest things about Mt. Jefferson is the Luther Rock. This rock juts from the side of the mountain and allows you to walk out on it and take in the beautiful scenery. 

30. Mount Mitchell

Mount Mitchell is the tallest mountain east of the Mississippi River. The observation area at the top allows for you to see as far as 85 miles on a clear day. Just make sure as you head up, you layer up because it can drop temperature very quickly. 

31. New River

32. Occoneechee 

33. Pettigrew

34. Pilot Mountain

35. Raven Rock

Oh Raven Rock! We took this trip after a long day at the ball field on my mom’s 40th birthday. Needless to say we were tired, but we still decided to tackle the 4.2 mile hike to the Raven Falls. We were expecting a waterfall, but instead we got rapids. We did however cool off in the river before taking our long hike back. Despite this, the actual Raven Rock was beautiful and the park is still on of my favorites. 

36. Singletary Lake

The best thing about this lake is how secluded it is. It is tucked away behind a tree line and barely visible from the road. The only people that frequent this are its junior campers. You can enjoy a peaceful evening fishing on its 500 foot peer and if you’re feeling lucky test your swimming skills with the alligators. 

37. South Mountain

38. Stone Mountain

39. Weymouth Woods Sandhills

40. William B. Umstead

I just recently took my second trip to this park and it is still as beautiful as the first time. There are over 35 miles of hiking in this park so it is very unlikely you will see it all. While I do love hiking, I enjoy just driving through the park as well. The stone bridge over Sycamore Creek is one of my favorite spots as it has rolling fields of grass that you can lie down in and have a picnic if you please.