#i want people to like my stories
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Happy one year anniversary to In Stars and Time!
#ISAT#in stars and time#siffrin#loop#I truly mean it when I say that this was the best game I have played since Disco Elysium.#It pulls off some of the best examples of Ludonarritive Harmony in a video game...possibly ever?#Not to mention just...wow. What a great story. What a tale of twists and introspection. What a tale about the need for home and connection#I know many of you have trusted me before with media recommendations. Trust me one more time.#Do you want to experience the torment of being in a timeloop? And *still* have fun and feel like your time is being respected?#PLAY IN STARS AND TIME!#Do you yearn for complex characters and love unravelling mysteries? PLAY IN STARS AND TIME!!!!#Please heed the content warnings; I took them a little too lightly on my playthrough! They are there for a reason! Don't be like me!#This game means a lot to me and so many others. On the small chance the dev sees this (they are on tumblr after all):#Thank you so much for all your hard work in creating this game and seeing the project through.#It has been a year for us fans but many years for you. So thank you!#I hope it has been a joyful year for you! Watching as people descend into shrieks of agony from playing your game.#It's good! It made me vomit blood. I had so much fun! I felt like I was torturing the protagonist when I played it. I loved it! I cried.
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Pain is a great motivator…
Part 26 || First || Previous || Next
—Full Series—
Meanwhile Toriel:
(Loud noises don't wake her up usually.)
Artist note: I’m so proud of this :))) I know it’s a lot of dialogue and reading, but dialogue is grueling work for me. I’m glad with the art and for the amount of pages I made in such a relatively short time span -w- page 5 was super fun to work on. A lot of blood, sweat, and hours here... :) The backgrounds were a big bore tbh, but I finished them! Yippie!
#CHARA WTF DO YOU MEAN “COMPUTER”????#lol i hope you guys dont hate me for what im doing in the next update.#IS THAT A MAC OS???#Yes......owo''#Kris and the Gang are LITTLE now. I've pixelated them and turned them into little game characters!#FINALLY!!#I never thought I would be going so far in the story to explain WHY Kris pulls out their SOUL and opens Darkfountains even when they killed#Berdly in Chapter 2. Pain can make people do horrible things.#Uhhhhhhhhh anyways. :3 I hope you liked it! I made this post a little too long for my liking and didnt get it out when i wanted too-#but thats okay! As long as people enjoy it :)#bread#art#deltarune chara timeline#deltarune chara timeline comic#seriously though#long post#man am I glad I switched over to the limited color palet! It helps me feel alot more relaxed uwu#This is....way over 16 hours of work q-q#chara#asriel#susie#kris#asriel dreemurr#kris dreemurr#kris deltarune#susie deltarune#deltarune#comic#my art
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I want so desperately for people to like what I do but fear so strongly ever being known.
#text#i have so many stories i want to tell#i want people to like my stories#but if i ever got popular? if i ever got a fandom? i dont think i could handle that#seeing what happened with welcome home didn't help.... a fandom growing so fast that it overwhelms#ppl disregarding the creators feelings and boundaries for their characters#i dont want that
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#i need it for science#and so i can focus my research#i feel like the last one is the elective#most people take it for the easy grade until he walks in and spooks like 80% of the class into transferring out#part of me wanted to add thesis professor for the silly#maybe the story development of it#idk the proper name though my course code literally was just anstory#(animation story)#id look it up but i cant access the website rn#we have class about marriage its so funny#it would be so funny if i put him in comsci#actually my brother's religion class rn is talking about the intersection of religion and occult which is fun
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"What if I'm not trans, what if I'm choosing to be trans for [list of reasons]"
I am grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you like a can of soda. If, for whatever reason, you looked within yourself and decided to be trans - you're still trans. We (as trans people) don't need to have an "I always knew" story. We don't need to have the ~magical transsexual gene~. It's incredibly hard for so many of us to figure out why we're trans, and if being trans was always a choice, the reasons for choosing to be trans would be complex. If being trans is always a choice, that doesn't negate that we deserve human dignity and respect for who we are.
It shouldn't matter if you chose your trans identity or not, becayse you still are a person. You breath the same air I do, and you deserve to live how you want, on your terms. You watch the same sunrises and sunsets I do, you are here. I, for one, welcome you no matter what your inner reflections are about your transness. You have a place in this world, you have inherent worth.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#i have many 'i always knew' stories but like...#...if you met one trans person you met ONE trans person#cisness isn't the default and we don't need to justify why we're trans#if a cis person doesn't need to have all the answers as to why they're cis the same principle applies to trans people#if transness is a choice for some people then i for one welcome them in my spaces#i WANT to break bread with transsexuals-by-choice. i WANT to fight for all of our rights. i WANT them in my community
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Have you ever been curious about the EnStars MC Anzu, what she does in EnGirls and EnStars, and what information we could gather about her from each story?
For Paradise's 10th Anniversary, I made an "Anzu Story Breakdown doc" where you can read what she does & any info about her in each story🌸⭐️‼️ (twitter post)
(currently doesn't contain EnStars stories, but they are in progress and will be added once they are finished per year)
09.14.24 - Added EnGirls and extra materials 09.15.24 - Added story names in the outline for easier navigation 10.08.24 - Added the following ES! stories: Marching Band, Sweets, Duel, Hero Show, Tanabata Festival, Pool Opening, Test of Courage, Restaurant, Quarrel Festival, Holiday, First Shrine Visit, Amusement Park Show, WANTED!!!, Robin Hood, Passionate Carmen, Sweet Halloween, Beasts, Buddy
#mh talks#ensemble stars#ensemble girls#engirls#enstars#anzu enstars#anzu ensemble stars#i kinda felt like posting it on tumblr too just for archiving purposes#made specifically for anyone who wants to know how much anzu there is in engirls but can't be bothered to read the stories#i did the homework for the team o7#i wish i could have finished the Era ! part before her unofficial birthday but theres just so much going on for me in sept-oct that i just#can't find the time to read#did i make this most specifically bc i hate how people throw tomatoes at reika and sakura for causing her to transfer when they#regret it with all their hearts and anzu doesn't even hate them for it? mayhaps#if i had a nickel for every time i made a Reading-related document for my brown haired girl fixation i would have two nickels#yeah i know the engirls section is missing 7 stories IM WORKING ON IT!!!
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Steddie Week 2024
July 6th Prompt: Dizzy
Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 7
@steddie-week
Steve stands up, and that’s where it all goes wrong.
His intent was to grab more drinks from the fridge, but when he stood, he blinked a few times. “Whoa,” he murmurs.
“Steve?” Robin asks. She sounds like she’s at the end of a long tunnel.
“Steve?” Eddie asks. He sounds closer, but not as close as he should.
“‘M fine,” he says, “jus’ dizzy.”
Then he’s waking up in the hospital. “What,” he asks, then doesn’t complete the thought because Robin and Eddie are both standing over him, one on each side, holding each of his hands, and he’d feel so much love if he could feel anything besides general panic because- “I can’t hear you,” he says, breathing picking up. “I can’t- please, I- I need-”
Eddie shuts up, staring at him with wide eyes, and after a second of hesitation, places Steve’s hand, palm down, on his chest. He takes deep, purposeful breaths, and Steve can feel his hand moving, feel the breaths, feel his heartbeat-
He takes a breath. Another. Another. By that time, Nancy had gotten a doctor.
Later, he’ll learn this is something they’d been watching for, but couldn’t be sure of until he woke up. Later, he’ll learn that Eddie lays awake at night, sometimes, hearing the sound Robin makes.
All he knows right now is how to keep breathing, how to keep holding Robin’s hand, how to believe he’ll be okay, because he has to.
He has to.
He stays with Eddie upon his release, because they’re together most days anyways, and it’s a certain kind of torture on Steve’s heart because Eddie’s started carrying around a notebook and a pen just to write to Steve whatever he was gonna say, and Steve doesn’t think he could love another person more than he did, but here’s the proof, apparently.
They’re sharing a bed, because Wayne had previously called their couch “older than Jesus,” and Steve lasted for all of an hour on it before slipping into Eddie’s room.
The good thing about sharing a room is it helps curb the nightmares for a time.
Eventually, though, they come back with a vengeance.
Steve’s laying in bed, like he does every night, when he rolls over to face Eddie. “Eddie?” He asks. Eddie’s always last to sleep, so Steve’s not hesitant about asking, except Eddie doesn’t answer.
“Eddie?” He asks again, jostling Eddie’s shoulder a bit.
Suddenly he shoots up in the air, and Steve bites back a yell.
Suddenly there’s a voice that sounds like it’s coming from everywhere and nowhere, reverberating off the corners of the room, echoing louder and louder. You took everything from me. Eddie’s arms snap, and Steve yells, scrambles up, music, except what’s his favorite song—that puppet one, metal, come on brain, think—but there’s nothing here but country, bluegrass, stuff Wayne likes, and Steve turns to watch the blood drain from Eddie’s face as another gristly crunch echoes, louder than anything so far. So I’ll take everything from you!
Something reaches out for him, grabs his shoulder, and he yells, twists around, pushes away, hard enough he falls on the ground. He opens his eyes to see Eddie on his bed, Steve sitting just off it, eyes wide and hand reaching to help, stalled halfway. Illuminated by the lamp, too, which wasn’t on half a second ago.
Steve blinks at him, looks at the room. No floating Eddie in the middle of it.
“Dream?” He asks. Eddie nods. He stifles the sob and practically launches himself onto the bed, into Eddie’s arms, lets himself shake apart because he can.
Eventually he feels reverberating in Eddie’s chest that he knows means words, means speaking, so he looks up at Eddie, who’s looking at the door.
He turns to look, too, and sees Wayne. “S-sorry,” he tries, still sniffling.
Wayne shakes his head at him, walks into the room, sits on the edge of the bed. Offers his arms out in a hug.
Steve thought he was done crying. Trust Wayne to prove him wrong, because he’s tearing up all over again as he leans into Wayne.
His new position means he can see Eddie, who points at him, makes a talking motion with his hand, then points at himself and Wayne. Steve frowns. “You… want me to tell you?”
Eddie points at Steve again, insistently, and Steve understands: your choice.
“I can,” he agrees. “We were in bed and I was tryin’a talk to you, but you didn’t answer, and I kept trying to get your attention, but suddenly you- you were up in the air, and your arms and legs broke, and a voice—it was Vecna, I didn’t recognize it in the dream—said I’d taken everything from him so he was gonna take everything from me. And I was trying to find music, but I couldn’t remember the name of your favorite song, and the only stuff in here was Wayne’s stuff, country and bluegrass and stuff like that, and…” he sighs out a broken sob. “I couldn’t save you.”
Eddie reaches for his hand, but suddenly that’s not enough, he needs to be able to feel his heartbeat, have his breathing move Steve’s hand, so he tips over into Eddie again, gets his hand on his chest and his face in the side of his neck.
Eddie says something, but before Steve can move Wayne’s got a comforting hand on his back. He removes it after a minute, and Steve can feel the shift in the bed of him getting up, but before he can mourn the loss, Eddie’s got his arms wrapped around Steve as he carefully lowers them back down. He rubs a hand up and down Steve’s spine, slips the other into Steve’s hair.
Steve falls asleep like that.
He wakes up in almost the same position. He tries to apologize, but Eddie waves him off, hands him some clothes and points to the bathroom before pointing to himself and miming cooking.
Steve’s heart clenches at the thought. “Okay,” he whispers.
Robin comes over later, and they sit on the front steps as he recounts what had happened. “He’s just so sweet,” he sighs. “And I’m an idiot who’s letting my heart get involved.”
Robin wraps an arm around his shoulders and kisses his temple. It doesn’t help as much as he’d hoped it would, but he appreciates the gesture anyways.
Later she leaves, and Eddie pulls out his dedicated Steve Notebook.
I’ve got a friend in Indy who knows sign language. I could give her a call, if you want? He writes, and again Steve’s all but overcome with love for this man.
Instead of anything he wants to do, he just nods. Eddie grins and hops up to use the phone.
He’s back in a couple of minutes, collapses onto the couch with the notebook before furiously scribbling and handing it to Steve.
I spoke to my friend. She says sorry and it sucks, first of all. Steve snorts and nods. She’s willing to talk to you, get you started, maybe even get you some books. Does tomorrow work?
Steve gapes up at Eddie. “Tomorrow?”
Eddie nods and grins, then points at Steve in a gesture Steve knows has come to mean you decide.
“That would be great,” he says. “Seriously, I- thank you, Eddie.”
Eddie waves him off, but Steve can see the happy little blush on his cheeks.
They head out the next day. It’s probably twenty minutes into the drive, and even with Eddie sitting next to him in the driver’s seat, it feels lonely. He never realized how much he’d miss the sound of tires on asphalt. He wasn’t ever truly into music, like Eddie is, but he misses the radio. He misses the wind rushing past, the silence that’s possible to share when both people can hear-
He doesn’t realize he’s crying until Eddie’s pulled over, a hand on his cheek and a concerned expression on his face. “Sorry,” he tries. Eddie shakes his head, presses his palm more firmly to Steve’s cheek. “Fuck,” he mutters. “‘S stupid. Just… felt alone. I dunno. There’s, like, a million little things you hear every day that you don’t think about, like the way your hands tap the steering wheel when you turn, or the way your clothes shift and rub against each other, and it’s all silent now, and there’s not even music, and-” he takes a deep, shaky breath. Lets it out as evenly as he can. “I just… felt really alone all of a sudden.”
Eddie brushes his thumb along Steve’s cheekbone as he thinks. Suddenly, he grins and moves his hand, shoving a tape into the deck and cranking the sound. He demonstratively puts his hand on the door. Steve laughs and does the same, gasping when he feels the vibrations of the song move through him. He can’t tell notes, but it’s something, and then Eddie carefully reaches for his hand, keeps his grip relaxed until Steve smiles at him and tightens his own fingers around Eddie’s. “Thank you,” he whispers.
Eddie smiles, nods, and gets back on the road.
They arrive at his friend’s apartment in no time, and Steve would be jealous at the length of the hug if Eddie didn’t immediately step back to grab Steve’s hand again. Based on his hand motions, he’s introducing Steve.
She asks Eddie something, and he turns bright red, pulling a strand of hair across his face as he glances at Steve before looking back at her and answering.
She invites them in, scribbles on a little chalkboard, and hands it to Steve with a smile. Hi, Steve! My name is Nicole. It’s nice to meet you.
He grins up at her. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”
She takes the chalkboard back, scribbles something else. Eddie tells me you recently lost your hearing. Do you mind me asking about that?
“Not at all,” Steve says, then frowns, somehow just now realizing he doesn’t know the full extent of what happened. “Honestly, all I know is I stood up and got really dizzy, and then I was waking up in the hospital.” He shrugs. “I’ve had a couple of pretty bad concussions, and I guess whatever made me pass out also just… took my hearing.” He shrugs.
Eddie shakes his head, grabs for the chalkboard. Almost. He bites his lip. You passed out, and I wasn’t fast enough. You hit your head on the floor. He looks away, takes a deep breath. I’m sorry.
“That is not your fault, Eds,” Steve tells him firmly. Eddie won’t look him in the eyes, so Steve grabs his chin. “Hey, look at me. Not your fault. I don’t blame you. Okay?”
Eddie shrugs, pointing to himself with a self-deprecating smile, and Steve knows what he’s trying to say. I do.
“Well I don’t,” Steve says. “But if- if you need to hear it. I forgive you, okay?”
Eddie nods, eyes big and wet, and Steve pulls him into a hug.
Eddie suddenly laughs, pulling away to wipe his eyes before saying something to Nicole.
Right. They’re not alone. “Sorry,” he tells her, but she waves him off, handing over the chalkboard again. I think we’ll start on the alphabet today. That way you can at least finger spell what you need, even if it’s slow.
“Sounds good,” he says, and she nods, talking the chalkboard to write the alphabet.
Slowly but surely, she teaches Steve and Eddie the alphabet. They get a little tripped up on some of the letters, most noticeably p and q, until Nicole takes pity on them and makes a p. She uses her other hand to draw a line down both her extended fingers, then tracing her own legs. She taps her thumb, peeking out between the two, and with a mischievous grin, points between Steve and Eddie’s legs.
They share a look and burst out laughing, but they don’t forget those letters again.
By the end of the day, they’ve gotten through the alphabet with enough regularity that Nicole feels they can practice on each other.
Steve pauses before they leave. T-h-a-n-k, then a pause, then y-o-u.
Nicole smiles, presses her fingertips to her lips, then brings her hand down to chest height, palm up. She does the motion again, and Steve copies her, grinning when she nods excitedly.
“Thank you,” he signs and says, grinning even wider when she pulls him into a quick hug before waving at him and Eddie.
They wave back and pile into the van, Steve’s hand in Eddie’s before Steve can practically blink. He smiles, unbearably fond, and squeezes to get his attention before signing, “Thank you.”
Eddie just smiles back, throws the van into reverse, and starts home.
They practice more while they make dinner, throwing words like spatula and stir and chop around, and Steve didn’t realize learning could be this fun.
He’s watching Eddie stir the broth, hips moving in a little dance to a song only Eddie knows, and his heart is so full, he has to say something before his heart bursts. “I’m gonna say something that’s gonna sound incredibly sappy,” he says. “But just… please just listen until the end? And try not to tease me too much.”
Eddie just smiles, grabs his hand and squeezes, and Steve takes a breath before starting.
“I’m glad it’s you. I’m glad you were there that day, I’m glad you were there when I woke up at the hospital, I’m glad you were there when I realized going home meant being completely alone. I’m glad you made a complete fool of yourself in the hospital lobby, doing charades to let me know I could stay here.” He takes a breath. “I’m glad you have Nicole, because it lets me talk with you easier. I’m glad you never once let me feel like I’m alone, or like I’m going through this alone. I’m glad you’re learning with me. I’m glad you’re making this fun. I didn’t know learning could be fun, but it is with you, and I-” he takes a breath, swallows the three words that want to come out. “I’m glad it’s you,” Steve whispers, “here, at the end of all things.”
He doesn’t realize he’s crying until Eddie’s hands are cradling his cheeks, wiping away tears. Eddie’s just as teary-eyed, though, and he pulls away, looking for the notebook. Please don’t punch me.
Steve looks up, brows furrowed, to watch Eddie spell something. I l-o-v-
That’s as far as he gets before Steve gasps, understanding, or hoping he understands, and pulls Eddie into a kiss.
He pulls back almost immediately to check that’s correct, that that is what Eddie was trying to say, when Eddie pulls him back in, dinner be damned, crowding him in against the counter and doing his best to lick into Steve’s mouth.
Steve lets him, pulling away for a sharp inhale before diving right back in, fingers tight in Eddie’s hair and the back of his shirt, and there’s a sudden vibration that he just knows means Eddie moans, and suddenly he’s dizzy again, but this time he welcomes it, because this time he’s not passing out; this time, he’s dizzy because he’s drunk on love.
#steddieweek2024#steddieweek#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#robin buckley#platonic stobin#Nancy wheeler#Though she was mostly just mentioned#deaf steve harrington#I’m actually VERY excited about this one :)#I started something like this a while ago but never got to complete it#This is my Redemption#starambles#This story is brought to you by me at all of 5 years old seeing people in a Cracker Barrel signing#And I knew my letters#And I SO confidently marched up to them and finger-spelled my name#Where’d that kid go. I want to be her again#Also brought to you by my time#(more recently)#At a Starbucks and I was able to order COMPLETELY in sign instead of using the pad the hoh barista had#I mean. I was just getting a water. But STILL#I did it! 😂
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Next part of the silly thing
#yes there are mistakes#english is not my first language#also#yes this is supposed to be a choice game but i wasn’t sure of how to translate it to tumblr#this was originally a story on instagram#it was way more fun#sorry to disappoint#you would be surprised#of how many people chose to kiss him#respect boundaries#wth#anyways#yeah sans wants you#and he is an asshole mb#also i imagine him like a computer guy idk why
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calling it right now that season 3 starts like this
#so confused about people saying the season finale feels like the end because to me it didn't at all#there's like 5-10 issues immediately set up for another season#they're in a happy place at this point because they've both realized their love is bigger than anything else#and makes it worth working on their problems together#the problems are still very much there#both of them have deep self esteem/self loathing issues that haven't been resolved in the week since ed woke up#ed doesn't know about stede's trauma#they haven't talked through anything#and they'll be shit at starting/running an inn lmao it's not gonna go well#and those are just some of the internal issues#then there's prince ricky and all the authorities that would very much like to get their hands on both blackbeard and stede bonnet#because stede just full-on kept using his government name after faking his death. nice one#the crew are not “gone” they're more like off to college for a bit but will probably run into trouble immediately#again because while they escaped to the ship they didn't eliminate the threat (the british empire)#it's not a forever goodbye#ok this got super long already anyway i have a whole fic marinading in my brain until i've finished these 4 wips i'm in the middle of ✌️#hope we get a renewal soon because i want to see the rest of their story!!#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd s2#ofmd#our flag means death
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It just really rubs the wrong way that comics would try to brush off the impact Kory had on Dick. Not only was it true love for Dick, but their relationship taught Dick how to grow into the man he was meant to be.
Nightwing (1996) #25
#I know this was years ago but it just really irritates me#if you want to push DickBabs in a story that's fine but don't act like Kory wasn't someone that Dick wanted to marry#she helped him grow and helped him let people in#🗣 say 🗣 her 🗣 name 🗣 DC#dickkory#dick grayson#koriand'r#starfire#nightwing#nightwing comics#dc comics#comic series#my post
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Five foot something and he's royalty.
#poorly drawn odyssey#the odyssey#odysseus#I was drawing him short because it was funny. I didn't expect it to come up in the text himself.#Remember that at this point he's retelling the story to the court of Alcinous.#So him saying 'Yeah I got to ride on the best and coolest ram so I only needed one of them' sounds like he's justifying being small.#I know there are likely other interpretations of this so it's not 'canonical' per say#but I didn't think my goofy short lump of misery parody version of ody was going to be...well...closer that expected.#By they way if you are a lover of sopping wet men - read the Odysssey.#So far he has solved 90% of his problems by wailing and sobbing so pathetically until people give up and help him out.#(sadly I am out of chronological order with the comics I wanted to post...next one WILL be the nausicaa comic I promise.#I've been very sick and swamped with work so comics are hard to do...I'm keeping my chin up though! I'll be slow but I'll do it!)
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On Swansea’s (often understated) role in Mouthwashing
I say this as a big swansea fan but I don’t rlly understand why ppl are acting like he’s not also complicit in what happened to Anya? AUs where “Anya tells Swansea” and he jumps to violently defend her don’t make sense to me because canonically she does tell him, as he admits to Jimmy. But swansea represents another way of interacting with the capitalist heteropatriarchy that ALSO harms victims: holistic jadedness and resignation.
Swansea is across the board unkind to the Tulpar crew. We can’t forget that he calls anya a “so-called nurse”
and says this to Jimmy, which (if unintentionally) reiterates Jimmy’s own warped perception of Anya’s usefulness and competence. This allows Jimmy to feel justified in his imagination of the nurse’s inferiority. Swansea’s clear lack of respect for Jimmy does less to hurt Jimmy than his lack of respect for Anya harms Anya, because at the end of the day, Swansea’s attitude is contextualized by the violent culture it exists in and he does nothing to reconcile with that when Jimmy becomes the captain. His resignation can thus be weaponized even by Jimmy, a man who Swansea disrespects but whose power he doesn’t try to meaningfully jeopardize, because his across-the-board disdain punches people already marginalized by the environment twice as hard as it does those with power.
Swansea doesn’t position himself as an ally, he positions himself as willfully uninvolved in everything, an observer to the shitshow ride to hell. Just because he dislikes Jimmy doesn’t mean he aligns with Anya. He makes it clear that he’s not on her side, either. After a life of doing what he felt was expected of him, Swansea on the Tulpar looks out for Swansea and Swansea’s comfort. In trying to situate himself outside of the politics of it all as an older white man, he simply allows them to play out. The toxic culture keeps existing, playing out in the microcosm that is this freighter, and Swansea in all his experience recognizes that shit has hit the fan and elects to coast through it, even explicitly numbing himself to it by breaking his sobriety. It is, of course, hard to force yourself to be sober—to see clearly. But had Swansea forced himself to get involved sooner, he might have set a precedent for Daisuke to recognize Jimmy’s abuse, which could have saved Daisuke’s life as well as created a safe space for Anya. But Swansea’s inaction forces both victims to confront an abuser on their own, unable to reap benefits from his privilege and experience.
Jimmy is clearly intimidated by swansea in a way he is not by Anya, Daisuke, or a post-crash Curly (Swansea, for example, physically manifests as an aggressor in Jimmy’s “responsibility sequences”, and Jimmy ties Swansea up to avoid what he sees as the real possibility of pushback that he doesn’t conceive of Anya being able to do). Swansea has a power he does not act on or with until it is far, far too late. In fact, he acknowledges in his final monologue that he was dissatisfied with the discomfort with opening his eyes and living an exemplary “good man”s life. The best days of his life are ones in which he’s belligerently drunk—days in which he didn’t have to hold himself accountable. He regrets the life he spent performing for higher-ups and we watch him reject it by scorning Captain Jimmy, but he also doesn’t want to be held responsible for helping other people when it’s their turn to endure the expectations and violence from similar (if not the same) higher powers. Tragically, he possesses the hindsight to recognize that how he acted on the Tulpar consequently wasn’t what Daisuke needed out of a role model, leading to Daisuke becoming a victim. His hands-off approach to emotional engagement with his young male intern (another symptom of patriarchal gender norms) may have been to avoid Daisuke turning out miserable and jaded like himself, but it doesn’t actually indicate to an already-confused Daisuke what the dangers of that attitude are. Swansea never admits his own shortcomings in a tangible way which, had they come from a man with experience and prestige like himself, may have shifted that culture that failed Anya. She comes to him with the story not because he has situated himself as any earnest friend, but likely out of desperation on a ship Jimmy now controls.
When we allow “the machine” (Swansea’s own words) to beat us down to the point that we don’t find it productive to challenge unjust power dynamics, we become complicit. I think too many people get hung up on his disdain for Jimmy and Jimmy’s fear of Swansea as a marker of allyship with Anya, but the truth is that Swansea. Is a bad ally. He’s hardly one at all. His long stint in the demanding capitalist environment molded a perfectly complicit result out of him, as it aspires to do, even if Swansea bitterly recognizes that. Jimmy’s overt violence from a position of power is a different and much more brutal approach to abuse enabled by people who have been left too tired and bitter to care that he does it. A man who could’ve intimidated and even threatened Jimmy is too resigned to try until there is literally nobody but himself left to fight for, which is an attitude carefully cultivated among the lower rungs of hierarchies to keep the top safe. Swansea in particular seems very unhappy with the capitalistic, patriarchal expectations laid out for him as a father, husband, and laborer. This becomes particularly resonant when you realize the symbolism of his role as mechanic: a job that can be deeply unpersonal, tasked with keeping the ship (the machine, if you will) itself going while other roles are more focused on managing the humans inside of it (e.g. nurse, captain). His decision to just stop trying and spare himself the grief instead of questioning why those expectations exist and how they would hurt the others onboard only delays him being directly targeted by Jimmy and doesn’t interrupt the latter’s violence.
Not a single man in mouthwashing is innocent in Anya’s victimhood. This is a statement tentatively uninclusive of Daisuke, because I think the game very deliberately positions him outside of manhood through his youth and thus struggling with the concept of “fitting in” to the patriarchy. Curly, Jimmy, and Swansea all represent different failures that ultimately perpetuate Anya’s suffering and force her to defend herself and finally take her life into her own hands. A holistic analysis of rape culture in MW necessarily engages with all three of them. Only not being a friend and ally to rapists and other male abusers isn’t enough, and Swansea proves it.
#mouthwashing#not sure I worded this as well as I would’ve liked to because I just woke up#but I’m standing by it for now#I think people don’t think enough about what swansea represents in the story and thus water him down#but with such a small cast we have to realize that everyone is deliberately written with meaning#maybe I’ll delete this later if I feel it was misarticulated#again I like swansea this isn’t meant to start some swansea hate train#I’m just glad that ppl are understanding Curly’s role as an enabler and I want that critical thinking to extend#even to characters we are inclined to like on their face because they’re also mean to Jimmy#.txt 🌊#mouthwashing game#swansea mouthwashing#this post is dedicated to my good friend al who is the resident swansea guy in my mind and talked thru this w me#ily my goat
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it's about...longevity? stability? it's about natsume believing he'll be somewhere long enough to plant flowers and see them bloom. it's about him taking touko seriously when she asks him to tell her what flowers he wants to plant. it's about making something with his own hands, building a future with the fujiwaras. it's about him repairing a rundown home for someone else, restoring it because it's beloved to them, because it's the home of someone they love. it's about him seeing touko's joy and thinking about the youkai saying we'd like to look upon her happy face forever. it's about the box garden making him think of the fujiwaras' garden and his parents' garden, about the flowers being both the memory of flowers that bloomed there before, and the flowers that he and the youkai planted earlier that day. it's about him waking up in both worlds with sensei. it's about touko finding the petal in his hair. it's about him feeling how he falls short and the youkai saying, but you have such gentle hands...
#watch this right after the ephemeral ones to die instantly. i assume. i haven't tried it#i feel like so many of the emotional beats that destroy me in this story come down to impermanence#accepting loss and change. finding the beauty in transience. treating every encounter as something precious‚ knowing it's ephemeral#and this chapter is about...also accepting renewal? allowing oneself to think about the possibility of love lasting#allowing oneself to put down roots. nurturing what is there. building foundations. doing it for and with people#god you know what else you shouldn't watch this after if you don't want to keel over dead probably. the childhood home arc#natsume can now think of the memory of sitting with his father looking at his mother's garden#and associate it with warmth instead of pain. because he's no longer afraid of losing it. because of the trust he has built#because he knows he can build something. the people here have made it safe for him and he has and he is and he will#i am crying so hard i should be collecting my tears for water reclamation purposes#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#natsuyuu meta#my posts
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hey btw Wymack recruiting people no one else bothers to look at also means recruiting the two incredibly good players who are considered "too short".
fyi.
YOU CAN ONLY PUT 30 TAGS???
#yk not to be that bitch#but after being told my whole life that i was “too small” in literally every context#being bullied#being threatened with insane amounts of violence#just cuz they could#and finally finding a story where the craziest most badass character#who behaved like i do#and speaks like i do and loves like i do#and is my height#was life changing#got me through all four years of high school like if Andrew wouldn't take this shit then neither should i#and then seeing a running gag in the fandom where people refuse to acknowledge the twins' height#because it's “unrealistic”?#1st of all it's not#there have been many little athletes who were very good#also reasoning in the post#2nd it's fictional it's not real#it doesn't have to be accurate#but yes i understand it's just a funny haha running gag#and I'm being way too sensitive about it#but i am ranting anyway because it does upset me#and if i want to complain on my own damn blog then i fucking will#aftg#all for the game#andrew minyard#the foxhole court#aaron minyard#twinyards#nora sakavic#the sunshine court
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"If men got periods/needed abortion/got ovarian or breast cancer, those resources would be handed out like candy! They'd be more plentiful than ATMs!!"
You mean perisex cis men. You mean perisex cis men. Say what you mean.
I'm a trans man. I avoid all medical care because ninety percent of my doctors have not treated me properly because I am a trans man. I am acutely aware that doctors would be more than happy to not provide me care on the basis of my being trans, even if it costed my life.
Every time I so much as think about the doctors, I'm reminded of men like Robert Eads - of how my care is at the whim of the opinions a doctor has about my life. And because of my own past negative experiences, I hesitate to open my patient portal to schedule an appointment. When I have gotten a good doctor, it's not been the rule, it's the exception. I have a doctor right now who I'm lucky to see, who actually treats me like a human being. I'm celebrating that a doctor finally treats me like a person.
If you want to group all men as being the same, I hope you're willing to have that blood on your hands. Because that care is routinely kept away from men, and it's a real, tangible, systemic issue.
I don't talk about this because I see being trans as this negative thing, but because I want to continue living and I want my trans siblings to live. I understand the frustration that people have who say this - it's another systemic issue that also costs lives. However, I am alarmed at the trend of... forgetting or perhaps erasing that this is still an issue for men, that we literally aren't treated the same as somebody like a cis perisex woman. No doctor has ever treated me like one, and of that I know for a fact. And this is a simple fix - be clear about who you mean when you talk about a group of people or a specific phenomenon. That applies when you are talking about any group of people because, generally, these overgeneralizations will be useless because it can't apply to everyone, and might just hurt a group of people you may not even be intending on hurting.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#transphobia#transphobia tw#long post#shout-out to my first primary care that's been Normal that i am alive and trans#he shouldn't have been a needle in a haystack but unfortunately that isn't uncommon of an experience#obviously not every trans experience is like mine but it's also somewhat uncommon to not have at least one like this in my experience#unless you have just come out and therefore haven't had any time to adjust your life how you want/need to#or unless you already don't see doctors or have lucked out (it shouldn't be a matter of luck but unfortunately this is often the case)#worried that people are going to misinterpret or misappropriate my words so.... this post is salt circled#while trans women and people who aren't trans men ALSO experience this stuff i cant speak as a direct authority#i can talk *about* their issues because i mostly follow them and hear their stories but i'm only an EXPERT in this realm
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Keep making the Binghorse. We gotta ward off people from entering this fandom. We need to keep it pure. I fr don't want this fandom to become famous. I'm scared that there will be toxic fans left and right.
HAHA I absolutely understand the sentiment. I feel a bit contradictory since I want more people to appreciate SVSSS, but the at the same time I like small tight knit communities and I personally can’t handle large fandoms whatsoever. 😭
Although I do feel as though describing the SVSSS as pure is very funny for how lawless this fandom is. But behavior wise, it is definitely a very positive and supportive space!! I haven’t met anyone or seen anything unpleasant since I’ve entered the fandom. Albeit, it’s only been a few months since I’ve started interacting with the fandom, and over half a year since I first read SVSSS, so I have no clue what horror stories the SVSSS fandom has. (I honestly haven’t interacted with that many SVSSS fans tbh…. Even though I want to.)
In addition, funny enough, I feel as though the book almost acts as its own barrier of entry. SVSSS isn’t the type of book you can read once unless you’re good at reading against the grain and noticing all the nuances and subtext. I know the first time I read SVSSS, SVSSS disturbed and confused me so badly. I talked to a few other people who read SVSSS once, who said that LBH and SQQ’s relationship felt like Stockholm syndrome. But people who’ve read SVSSS several times will know, that is not the case, and that SQQ is an INSANELY UNRELIABLE narrator.
I honestly find it funny how effective Binghorse or all the other skin creatures is at filtering toxic fans.😂
There’s always a general reaction to the skin creatures: “Omg, cute!!”, “wtf, but I like it”, “wtf”. Or getting blocked, or death threats. (I haven’t received any…? I don’t think…? One message I received is definitely debatable since I can’t tell if it’s sarcastic or not….😭)
But regardless, I’ll definitely keep drawing Binghorse!!! It’s actually really enjoyable!
#mushyrt#asks#geez why did I write so much#but I genuinely want to analyze this#SVSSS is probably the most wholesome fandom I’ve ever seen#in other fandoms I’ve seen/been in#you’d hear tons of horrible shit#but like why is this the case??#is it age range/demographic?#is it the different ways we consume media?#and to continue a little more onto binghorse#it’s really hilarious how quickly people have adapted to binghorse#like I’ve been posting Binghorse on a daily basis over a month now#on my Insta stories#and people shift so quickly from being disgusted by binghorse to gradually finding hi#him* cute#man the psychology classes and sociology classes really have changed how my brain works…#I didn’t expect myself to type so much#edit: I was wondering why Binghorse looked so weird… it’s because I forgot to draw his bits of hair at the side of his head 😭#tw: body horror
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