#i wanna go in but i feel like shit and ughhhhh

[lakeysworld]

UGH ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[rapidhighway]

Hnngg

[gregmarriage]

lot of feelings about being disabled and bedridden and housebound etc, and the disappointment and sadness, etc that comes with it. especially, bc a girl asked me out for coffee and i don’t know how to let her down and say, ‘yeah, don’t hold your breath’

[just-spacetrash]

ughhhhhhhh

[coridallasmultipass]

.

[derrypubliclibrary]

.

[wystericwoes]

Stress relief-

Even pros need coping mechanisms.

Pro Hero Bakugo x Reader

Warnings: Sex, Cursing, catching feelings but in denial, being used for sex but not really, there will be a part 2

Mostly GN reader but a lot of fem references... especially in the smut part

While mistakes weren’t often, even Bakugo was still human. And when he fucked up, the whole office felt the ripple effect of his fury.

His friend and by happenstance, neighbor Denki, would sometimes stop on by for a visit or for a hero collaboration; and happened to walk in on one of these moments.

“Yo! Katsu-“

He narrowly dodged a stapler flung past his head.

“DAMMIT! SHIT!”

He took in the scene in front of him. Interns and secretary’s hiding out of Dynamights rampage followed by a path of office supply themed destruction.

He rushed up to him to try and calm him down before he accidentally injured someone and got a lawsuit.

“Woah! Dude! What’s going on?”

“THAT SLIPPERY FUCKER GOT AWAY!”

“Uh… who??”

“THAT SLIMY SWAMP RAT LIZARD VILLAIN THATS BEEN RUNNING AROUND!”

Denki managed to slightly grab him by the shoulders and pull him into a private break room to separate him from the innocent bystanders, closing the door and blocking the handle.

“Dude you gotta chill out! You’re gonna hurt someone!”

It had been a long road for Bakugo and his anger issues. He had come a long way since his youth, and Denki had witnessed most of the growth first hand. And he knew how dangerous he could be when he got like this.

He took a deep breath beneath furrowed brows and aggressively plopped into a seat.

Denki sat across from him, sliding him a bottle of water.

“Alright you wanna tell me what happened?”

Bakugo chugged the bottle before slamming it onto the ground.

“This stupid fucking bank robber keeps terrorizing MY NEIGHBORHOOD and he’s been getting away every single time! I feel fucking useless! And all because of his stupid reptile bullshit quirk! How can I can I ever be number one if I can’t take down a SINGLE PETTY CRIMINAL ON MY BLOCK?!”

Denki took a deep sigh.

“Look man, I get it, but you’re taking it out on your agency and they don’t deserve it.”

Bakugo slouched back and crossed his arms, brows furrowed and teeth grit.

“You gotta find some kind of stress relief before you kill someone dude! You have any hobbies?”

“Work is my hobby. And I somehow still keep fucking up at it!”

“Well I mean something outside of work- when I get over stressed from work I always just go fuck around.”

“You’re a sleaze bag.”

“Look I’m just saying, when was the last time you got laid?”

He sat in contemplation for a dull moment… Bakugo was no virgin, but no playboy either. He just never really had the time or interest. He didn’t like people, and most everyone knew him at this point. Too many gold diggers or secret journalists trying to make him into a marketable tabloid.

“See there’s your issue. You gotta go get out there dude!”

He tched.

“I don’t have the time.”

“Katsuki. We both know that’s bullshit.” He grinned

“I’m just not into anyone right now.”

Denki dragged out a long groan. “Ughhhhh! Please don’t tell me you’re still limiting yourself with your stupidly high standards.”

“All I want is someone who’s hot and has a head on their fucking shoulders. If I wanted to fuck a brainless meaningless hole I’d get a sex doll.”

“So you’re seriously trying to tell me that there’s not a single woman you’ve found pretty and had interesting conversation with?”

He went back into thought. And to his frustration, someone did pop up. The cute little tea shop owner he started to become a regular too a few months ago.

It was so secluded and special, and so precious compared to the rest of the shit hole of a part of town that it was in.

He found it completely on accident, following a string of crimes which led him questioning the locals.

When he entered the secret oasis where that bell rung as he stepped foot in pushing the door open, he was almost awestruck. It was no bigger than a single room, but it was so beautifully laid out and decorated. You could tell that whoever owned it really loved it, like it was their pride and joy. Plants strewn across the walls and little vases on each table, you could tell they were all thoughtfully and meticulously taken care of. The water fresh, the leaves healthy. Atop the windows were hanging glass decorations, causing rainbows to speckle across the walls of strewn art and paintings. It looked magical, he could spend all day in here.

“O-oh hello!!” You rushed out a door behind the counter, messily tying your apron.

“I wasn’t expecting customers this early on a Tuesday haha… what can I get for you?”

He was dumbfounded. Between the lighting framing your face and the scenery around him, he felt so at peace.

“I-“

He found himself almost speechless. He felt like he walked into a magic secret garden, walked through a door to a different world. Especially with how ugly the outside was. Guess you could only afford to live in the poor part of town.

“I’ll uh… take a coffee.”

You tied your hair back swiftly as you worked your way to the espresso machine.

“Alrighty!” You began working your way around the station and whipping something up.

He looked around a little more before settling into a chair and watched as you worked behind the counter. It wasn’t until he saw you pouring something into a cup that he realized he never told you specifically what to make.

He almost spoke up until you started strutting over with a cup of something that smelled amazing towards his way.

“I took a lucky guess. Go ahead and try!”

You placed it in front of him and watched intently as he reluctantly smelled the mystery drink, and took a sip.

His eyes slightly widened, and he downed the whole thing in one go, not even caring that it burned.

“Careful that’s still hot-!”

But he was done before you could protest.

“Are you okay?!”

“…I’ll take another.” He embarrassingly wiped his mouth and looked away.

You sighed in relief and then started laughing.

“You scared me! How did you not get hurt?”

“How did you make a drink so damn good without knowing me?”

He sounded almost accusatory.

“Ah..! Well…” you shyly looked away.

“You a stalker or somethin’?”

“What! No!! I just got a good read on you. Do… you want me to share?”

He looked at you blankly, his signal of approval to continue, but his piercing gaze made you nervous.

“Okay see I noticed that when you came in up you looked in a hurry so I decided to make something that wouldn’t take too long… Then when you just said ‘coffee’ I knew you didn’t have anything particular in mind. Which either meant you didn’t know yet or didn’t actually come in here for coffee… so I knew it had to be something simple. But you didn’t seem quite like the type to just like plain black coffee, weirdly enough, I figured you were more complex than that! But I also could tell you wouldn’t want something overly sweet. So I went with a dark chocolate mocha extra half shot of espresso, for a semisweet yet strong mix, and then I added a touch of cinnamon for some subtle spice and extra flavor…’

You nervously fiddled with the hem of your apron. You knew it was unprofessional and risky to make something without someone asking.

“Well fuck me…”

It was just surprise after surprise. He had even forgotten why he had come in here.

“So… you said you want another?”

And thus begun his frequent ship to your small business. He went in at least twice a week, and he always tipped twice whatever he paid. You two had so many conversations and funny stories shared between the two of you. It became a part of his routine, one that was private and special to him. You were so tucked away and secret; it was like he had you all to himself. No one else worked there, and he hardly saw any other customers. And even when he did, you always gave him special treatment. You’d chat at his table, let him try new pastries, sit and listen to him talk about his day for much longer than you should. Yet somehow… he had never considered sleeping with you.

In his own daze remembering you, he forgot his idiot friend was there, smugly grinning with raised brows.

“Sounds like you thought of someone…”

“Shut up! What the hell are you even doing here?! Go back to your own damn building!”

“So I was right!!”

“Fuck off!!!” He threw the finger as Denki walked out laughing triumphantly.

Fucking idiot. What does he know? He didn’t see you like that anyway. It wasn’t like he didn’t think you weren’t attractive… he just didn’t think you deserved to be nothing but a one night stand. But also… he did have a point.

He took a deep frustrated sigh as he rubbed the crease of his brows.

“…fuck it.”

You were counting the cash in your register as that familiar sound of the bell dung.

“Sorry we’re cl- oh!”

You looked up to see it was just Dynamight.

“It’s just you! Haha… sorry, I close early because of the crime recently. Come on in! Just your usual?”

“I’m not here to order anything.”

“Oh… is everything okay?”

“It’s fine.”

He seemed colder than usual; and it made you nervous. An awkward silence followed by prolonged eye contact, until he slowly walked up to the counter where you were counting, causing you to freeze.

“Do you wanna go out sometime?”

“F-fuck!!” The pro hero was buried between your thighs on his king sized bed, gripping your hips like his life depended on it.

You bit your hand as the other tried not to grab to harshly in his hair.

“Hah… hah…. I- Bakugo…mmngh!”

You squeezed your thighs around him after your second orgasm of the night, pitifully moaning and whimpering as he lapped everything you had to give up.

He came up and pulled your hand from your mouth.

“Why do you keep trying to stay quiet? It’s just the two of us.”

“I’m just… hah… embarrassed..”

You didn’t know how to feel having sex with one of your regulars after one date.. how were you going to go to work and look him in the eyes after this?? Have you no decorum?

“I’m just.. worried that you’ll stop coming to my shop after this…”

He gave you a perplexed look.

“The hell you talkin’ about?”

“W-well now that we’ve…”

“You think I was just trying to fuck you or somethin?? Like I’m some kind of fuck boy?”

He looked angry.

“No! I just… it seems kinda hard to stay professional with a customer after doing this.”

“You’re a fucking idiot if you think I’m gonna stop coming to your shop just cause we slept together once.”

He crawled upwards to you and held your face.

“I just worry-“

He pulled you in for a kiss to shut you up. It was messy but coordinated, you heard a grunt in the back of his throat as his hardened cock pressed against between your legs.

“You worry to much, you’re stressing me out. Just relax.”

You moaned as he pulled away and nodded. Totally at his mercy.

“Are you ready?” He slid his boxers down.

“Fuck yes.”

He smirked,

“That’s the first I’ve heard you curse.”

Before you could protest he kissed you again. It was sloppy, and full of yearning. He rubbed his cock between your folds, letting the tip rest at your entrance for a brief moment as he pulled his face back and grabbed your hips.

You couldn’t bite back your moans as he slid himself into you. A perfect fucking fit, the stretch burned in such a good way, and hearing his pants as his rested inside you for a brief moment, just basking in the moment.

He moved one hand back to your though and pushed it back, letting himself get a good look of himself fully inside you.

He cursed under his breath. you reached down to rub your clit but he grabbed your wrist and placed it above your head, moving his other hand to do it for you.

“You think I can’t do this?”

He started slowly rubbing circles into you with the rythym of careful thrusts. Each one was experimental, testing the waters of what you could handle.

You two were so in sync it drove you crazy. You subtly thrusted your hips into him, feeling his pubes tickle you each time he bottomed out. He was darker blonde down there, following a gorgeous happy trail that made you drool.

He released his grip from your wrist and held onto your hips so he could steadily increase his pace.

“F-fuck… Bakugo….!”

“Call me fucking… hng… Katsuki.”

You fluttered around him when he said that, making him bite his lip.

“Don’t… fucking do that…”

“Sorry Katsuki..”

Oh you knew what you were doing. And it was taking him all his willpower to not fuck you as hard as he could right now.

He put his hand over your mouth which made you whimper, he decided to fuck you hard but slow, and each time he thrusted you moaned.

You bit his hand, he hissed in pain and watched as you moved it down to your throat.

“Didn’t take you for, a brat.”

“Mm… didn’t take you… as a- sadist-! Ah!” He started going faster with his pace.

“So you wanted this then huh? Acting all fucking innocent..”

He started squeezing on the sides causing you to go lightheaded in the best way.

“For so… hah!! Long! Mng… I’m still surprised you chose me..!”

“Don’t talk like a fucking- idiot- hnn.. youre fucking sexy”

“Mmn! You’re so fucking.. hot.. Katsu…”

He growled at the nickname, whether it was intentional or not.

“Don’t hold back… I can… I can take it.”

You moaned into his ear, knowing he wasn’t going all out yet.

Cursing under his breath he switched both his hands underneath your thighs and put your legs over his shoulders, and he did what you asked. He didn’t hold back.

You couldn’t even think straight. You couldn’t form a coherent thought, it was nothing except him fucking you ruthlessly. His tip kissed your cervix causing a good pain, reaching the deepest parts of you.

“Ah! Ah! Ah! F-fuck!”

Your moans were endless. Blending in seamlessly with his grunts and pants. He wasn’t very vocal, but you enjoyed his sounds nonetheless.

The sounds were filithy, you could feel your wetness leaking out onto his sheets and every noise between the two of you. Nothing else existed outside this moment.

You were in a pleasurable trance that was suddenly cut off as he flipped you over onto your stomach; pinning your wrists behind your back as he fucked you even harder from behind.

The sight of your ass smacking against him and your hands pinned against your back drove him fucking wild. He reached his head down and started biting on your shoulders to hold himself back, your whimper from the pain only made it worse though.

“Mm! Ah! Ah! K-katsu..ki!!”

He growled in frustration, feeling an odd sense of possessiveness every time you said his name.

“M’ gonna mark you up, and fuck you so good you’ll never forget it…”

He started leaving a crude trail of hickeys and bite marks across your shoulders and neck.

“Mmn! Kat- Katsuki…l-let me…-!”

You started to roll over, wanting to see his face, he caught on and picked you up turning you around without leaving inside you, placing you on his lap as he sat upright against the headboard.

“Think you can fuckin ride me baby?”

You whimpered at the name, placing your hands on his shoulders as you started to move up and down. Your pace was no where near as controlled and fast as Katsukis, but neither of you were complaining.

You started to get faster and faster as you felt his dick press up against your sweet spot, desperately chasing that sensation. He could see what you were trying to do as he started or fuck himself up into you, getting a hold of your hips and taking charge.

“Couldn’t take it huh?”

“Sh-shut up… you didn’t give me a chance!”

“I saw how needy you were getting. Just let me take control yeah?”

You dropped your face into his neck, biting the nape to suppress your moans as he started fucking you faster.

You stayed like that for a moment before you started to get close and moved your fingers to rub against your clit, once again he shoved your hand away and took it over.

“What did I hah.. say… before?”

You only moaned in response, gripping one hand onto the nape of his neck and the other onto his chest like you were scared of falling.

He wrapped one arm around your waist and pulled you in closer, rubbing frantic yet gentle circles on your clit while repeatedly hitting your g-spot.

“K-katsu…ki! I can’t.. I-I’m gonna…!”

He fucked you as fast as he could so he would cum at the same time as you.

“Do it…”

He groaned one last time in your ear and it sent you over the edge, he fucked you through your orgasm until your body was shaking, and then he bottomed out one last time.

“F-fuck…!” He moaned out as you felt his dick twitch as he finished inside you.

Both of you sat there still, the adrenaline winding down as you both breathed heavily, basking in the afterglow and silence for a moment before you pulled him closer into an intimate hug.

The silence was comfortable, and part of you both wish you never had to leave.

“Mm.. could go t’ sleep like this..”

“Could you now?”

“Mhm.” Your body fell limp into his.

“We should probably use the bathroom first.”

“Mm. Probably.”

“Mm… Yes. Cmon”

You groaned as he pulled out slowly, all the slick between the two of you pooling into a sinfully delicious mix under you.

You squealed as he lifted you up and carried you to the bathroom bridal style.

“H-hey!”

“Im not letting you get a UTI. Go piss and then we’ll hop in the shower. I hate sleeping in sweat.”

“Ugh you’re no fun.”

You reluctantly left his arms to go use the toilet, knowing he was right.

You rested asleep on his chest, as he gazed at the ceiling, listening to the lull of cars outside the window and the sound of your rhythmic breathing. He had one arm lazily strewn over your back, and the other under his head.

He looked down at your sleeping form, and felt something unfamiliar within him… something sentimental, caring, protective.

He slowly and carefully rolled down the sheet to reveal the marks he left on your body and smirked. Closing his eyes and drifting off.

[fleshofmensis]

holy shit.. mensis talking about something not (directly)bethesda or fromsoft?

I'M SORRY I HAVE TO.. i've been really into mass effect andromeda and the outer worlds lately and i'm so so distraught with all the shit those two games get???

i actually enjoy them both so very much. i just love space games done right .. AHEM.. not starfield. and i'm not sorry for saying that lmao starfield is so dogshit??? ANDROMEDA AND THE OUTER WORLDS IS WHAT STARFIELD COULD HAVE BEEN .. AND THOSE TWO GAMES WERE INCREDIBLY RUSHED FROM WHAT I KNOW, AND THEYRE STILL BETTER

the main problem i'm seeing from everyone with andromeda is like "ohh it's not like the main trilogy" NO SHIT?? ITS A DIFFERENT GAME?? AND THE MC IS NOTHING LIKE SHEPARD AND DOESNT HANDLE THINGS LIKE SHEPARD 😔 poor ryder, bro was just tossed into being pathfinder and is doing the best they can

i will admit, in some places the dialogue can be .. wonky or cringe but oh well?? i think the companion chrs are so personable and fun and likable (except cora.. i wanna throw cora into a volcano) AND THE CHRS ARE SO GOOD OH MY GOD.. i have a few in mind right now that i just ADORE

—

i will throw hands for the outer worlds.. i think it's so so fun and looks great.. esp the salty petty "from the creators of fallout" in their ads UHHH YES? you go obsidian

yeah sure some things are unfinished or not. continued but that's fine? i loved the story and i feel it progressed fine enough. i haven't played the dlcs but i really want to ughhhhh AND THE AFTER END CREDIT SCENE? SOBBED

it's a beautiful game that actually has INHABITED AND FUN TO EXPLORE PLANETS ahem.. STARFIELD TAKE A HINT (sorry i'm so.. i dislike starfield so bad. i feel like i wasted time playing that game lmao)

that's all for now.. might blab about my favorite chrs from andromeda later byeer

[selfshipgushing]

I just joined tumblr after years of not using it to consume self-shipping content since now I finally don't feel ashamed about it anymore <3 I've been checking out your page for a while and I love the space you give people to express themselves! It's so fun :D thanks for the community service!!

Also UGHHHHH I LOVE MY BOYFRIENEHWUJWKQOQOQKQLQKQKQLQPQL so much that it makes me angry i wanna flap my hands and roll around euwhwkwjw I'm autistic and every time i see him i start stimming ughhhhh shkw <33

skipping the queue bc i wanted to touch on this for a bit;

i really think parts of the selfshipping community is toxic. there's so many different ppl that have different opinions n shit and so many ppl that put others down for f/oing villains. and I really hated that

so i just wanted to make a space for people to talk about their f/o safely. especially without the presence of nsfw (for the minors and anyone that it makes uncomfortable) and pro/dark/comshippers (its really... upsetting to see ppl ship minors with adults and incest and severely abusive relationships especially when you go to a space looking for likeminded people like yourself).

i see so many ppl get attacked for selfshipping with a character who like, committed murder or like is an asshole or whatever. especially since my main f/o is a serial killer (which I wont lie to you. i regularly forget. that was dropped in the lore and then he fuckin died ten minutes later). and then I also feel like too there's a lot of weird shaming in the community for how ppl see their f/o. maybe in canon your f/o is a cishet man and you hc them as a transfem lesbian, or maybe you're an age/pet regressor or shit even the people whose f/os are objects, they get shit too. and I just don't like seeing all that, because when you think about it, were all the same breed of weirdo, right? stop making others feel bad because they don't love their f/o the same way or they headcanon their f/o something that isn't true in canon or whatever. cant we be kind and stop pissing in others cereal.

and then theres individuals thatll be outright mean to you because your f/o hurt their f/o some way in canon or they don't have a good relationship. and I hate to see that kinda thing. so since I have the ability to moderate this account and what goes into it, I hope I can make a space where people feel safe to talk about their f/os.

[mrsmiagreer]

SUMMIT THOUGHTS IN ORDER BY SCENE!!

“Hold still i’ll grab you one of mine” UGHHHH

“What do you think babe? How’s my hair?” EVEN MORE UGHHHHH😩😩😩

Yes Milo I AM laughing 😂

————————————————————————-

Vincent cut himself off, i wanna know what he wants to say :’(

“She sounded— nevermind”

HE GOT US A CROWN HES SO SWEET

wouldnt it be cool if this was like… the way of Royal Vampiric Engagement?

Vincent sounds so cute when he’s nervous 🥺

————————————————————————-

Sam’s loud ass truck rolling up lmao

ICECREAM!!!!

I just know Sam slicked his hair back into the tightest ponytail. His formal look HAS to be super cute

————————————————————————-

Porterrrrr!!

“Your human” LMAO

The thoughts about seating were actually really sweet

Porter now wtf are you talking about?

Vincent’s irritation is so warranted right now 💀

He’s up to something fs

“Bye now—” AND HES JUST GONE??!!

————————————————————————-

“Hey Bud!” Awe Ash we love you

Vincent sounds like he memorized this shit😂

Eccentric he says🤨

“Blink twice if you need a way out buddy” WE LOVE YOU EVEN MORE NOW ASH

“What😟😃” VINCENT LMAOO

————————————————————————-

Bennet you meanies >:(

Alexander and Christopher count your fucking days

A bit formal?? This is a SUMMIT?!

Take a breath BOY?!

Stfu both of yous

“Where’s Alexis?” Anything to get YOU out of my face 😒

————————————————————————-

HERE WE GO

“SAMS LATEST CONQUEST” ouuuu bitch—

she’s so snarky and condescending everything she says means something underneath but she sounds so sweet its annoying

Honestly if i was tank i would think about her words all night and for a few more days after that she dug deep fr and was actually making sense

Yeah okay darlin’ calm it down, don’t wanna get my head snapped off in front of 3810 year old vamps🤨

“Pettiness isn’t childish at all” 😒

You turned him because you wanted him but we don’t all get what we want huh?

“I FIXED HIM” GIRL LMFAOOOO

“I don’t like you, and I’m not going to” first of all, i’m so glad the feeling is mutual and secondly, this is my new favorite quote. I might not like Alexis but she ate with that one

PORTER TO THE RESCUE! but why?

“Oh darling as if i have a gag reflex” UGHHH😩

Sam to the rescue??

“What the fuck did she say??” “Where is she??”

I love the fact that it when tank ran away you can hear their footsteps. Since my Darlin’ is a girl, it sounds like she wore Combat Boots to the summit😭

————————————————————————-

Random message for David?

The music in the back is fucking hilarious

Quinn is coming back?? Yall knew it

William a bad person?? He’s a little shady but i think he has good intent honestly

Why does he lowkey sound like Christian’s VA?

————————————————————————-

“Don’t EVER speak to them again. Do you hear me???” Samuel don’t get me started🫦

“But playing is what I do best🥰🤭” she kinda ate with that one too

The fact that he even had to say anything along the lines of “if you care about me even a little you would do this for me” like If i was Tank i would cry because she agreed so fast😭 Like i know yall had something but like damn she still loves you?

Loser ass response 😒

————————————————————————-

MILO’s BACK

Awee Asher stumbling over his words

Why is Porter in everyone’s business 😭

Milo’s protective tone when he talks to Porter is tickling my insides🤭🤭

Closeknit??! Awe here we go😟

Porter is so suspicious right now…

“Hold the fuck up” MILOOOO😩😩😩😩😍😍😍😍

“Wait what’d you do that night?—” THEY DIDN’T TELL ASHER IT’S BEEN LIKE A YEAR AND MORE LMAO

Asher still being scared of making big decisions🥺

“Babe…” 😫😫🫶🏽🫶🏽

————————————————————————-

Tank being worried that Alexis threatened him is so real

“She was exactly who she appeared to be, i was the one trying to pretend i didn’t have a problem with that” REALLLLLLL

I don’t give a damn about her beat up heart

“I don’t want you to think that i felt like you needed saving” Honestly i appreciate this line because i hate the way it feels for someone to step in for you

“Maybe I wanted a chance of my own to tell the bitch to shove it if i’m being honest” 🤷🏽‍♀️😅🥳

————————————————————————-

knock knock

oouuuuu Asher’s telling David

Asher sounds in trouble 😭 David sounds like somebody daddy fr fr

the eye contact 😭😭

————————————————————————-

Ain’t this Loveboldly? All i hear is Crux😂

Funding?! ALL OF THIS FOR SOME MONEY

“Lower. Your. Voice. ” 💀💀

Alexander is so mean to his prince😭

“You’re showing your age Christopher. Or lack thereof” Damn he snapped him up

NOISE?!

————————————————————————-

“We’re about to have a fight. Be convincing” Uhh okay???

What the fuck is going awnnnn?!

Getting Vincent riled up for god knows what in insane💀

Glad he didn’t bring Treasure 😭

SAM TO THE RESCUE… ish?

“Consider yourself crossed”😲😲😲😲

“He’s dead” 🤨🤨😟😟 ALEXIS WHAT??? HOW’D SHE KNOW?!

[urfavoritedcwhore]

the russian boy//part ten

warnings: very very slight smut(aka kissing and hickeys), swearing

small part bc i didn’t have time to right everything i want to for the party part today:)

lowercase intended

will proofread and grammar check tomorrow

part ten: the time(mini part)

once i'm inside i immediately go up to my room to start digging through my boxes to look for something nice i can wear to the party. i open up a box towards the back of my room and find a black sweater, nothing fancy at all, but i can style it. next i find the box my skirts are in and find my short black jean skirt, (yes i wanna look good tonight and show a lil sum sum, sue me.). i i them both out on my bed and dig through my shoe boxes to find something that matches. when i can't find anything i race downstairs and go into my moms room riffling through her boxes. i find a pair of her black converses she used to wear to when she would mange a restaurant in new orleans. i grab them and run back upstairs into my room. now i know that the party isnt till tonight and right now its only 1pm, but im too excited to wait. i try them all on together and start feeling like my old self when i look in the mirror. its been too long since i've been to a party. hell it's been too long since ive dressed in anything other than shorts, sweats, or leggings. my outfit is perfect.

i decide to invite boris over until it’s time to go. i was gonna eat but im too excited to eat honestly. i text him to come over and not even two minutes later he’s tapping on my window. “fuck!”, i jump startled. i look over to my window and see him pointing to it signaling to let him in. i walk over to the window and open it. he climbs in and smiles at me, “already dressed?”, he says eyeing me up and down. “anytime you don’t see my truck in the driveway come through the door. you keep scaring the shit outta me.”, i say to him annoyed. he ignores my words and grabs me by the waist, “you look so fucking good new girl.”, he says smiling at me. i give him a peck on the cheek and twist out of his grip, flinging myself onto my bed. “ughhhhh i don’t wanna wait to go to the partyyy. i’m too excited, the times gonna pass by so fucking slow.”, i say whining. he sits down on my bed and pulls me off my back so that im sitting up with him. “i know way we can pass time.”, he says as he moves my hair out of my face and cups my chin in his hand. i look at him for a long second. i know he expects me to laugh him off and give him the, “not yet we’re taking this slow” speech, but im seriously considering making an exception of this rule for just one day. we’re going to a party tonight where im probably gonna get incredibly drunk and try to makeout with him. why not just do it now. screw it, im gonna suprise the fuck out of him, and screw the rule just for today. i still won’t fuck him or anything yet, but how can making out be so wrong? i wanna rip off his clothes right now, but im willing to compromise with myself, and that’s the important part. “like how?”, i say smiling at him innocently. his face turns a bright red and i can instantly tell he didn’t expect that to be my answer. “like this?”, i ask climbing on top of him, my knees on either side of his legs. as i straddle him i see a wave of shock go through his face. “i-”, he starts to say, but i cut him off my lips contenting with his. he pulls away with a smirk, “so quick to take charge, eh?”, he says almost laughing. i roll my eyes and start to say something cocky but before i can he grabs my legs and flips me around so that im laying flat on my bed. he laughs at my shocked face and crawls on top of me, “this is ok?”, he says smirking at me. i look at him with large eyes and nod my head fast. i put my hands behind his neck, trying to pull him down into a kiss but he doesn’t move. i look at him with puzzlement, “i mark you first.”, he says with a slight evil smirk. “what do you mean- oh fuck.”, i say as he cuts me off and begins sucking on my neck. i hear a muffled giggle from my neck, which i assume is from my reaction, but i don’t care. i tangle my hands in his hair moaning into his ear as he finds my sweet spot. i whine out in surprise we he suddenly disconnects from my neck. he studies the red and purple bruise on my neck with a smile, “look so pretty when bruise is on your neck instead of hands, yes?”, he asks.

this boy is seriously too close to pushing me to fuck him right here right now. i take a deep breath and respond with a weak, “mhm”, as i look at him with large eyes. he chuckles at that, and presses his lips into mine eagerly. the kiss quickly goes from sloppy and fast, to passionate and slow, our tongues dancing around eachothers mouths. he bites my lower lip softly and i moan out a whine. he disconnects with me quickly and i watch his pupils grow as shock runs through his face. “what’s wrong?”, i ask him, scared that i’ve done something wrong. “nothing wrong, i have to stop or i’ll end up fucking you. need to control myself.”, he tells me as he climbs off of me. “the sound you make, i never hear something so beautiful before.”, he says looking over to me with shock still on his face. he leans over to me and gives me a short, yet passionate kiss. i’m surprised he stopped himself. any other man i’ve dated would have ripped off my clothes and not controlled themselves. boris looks at me with a stupid smirk on his face, “don’t look so surprised new girl, i wait until you say is ok for us to go further, ok?”, he says to me. i smile up at him, “okay boris.”, i say scooting closer to him and lay my head on his chest. he examines me neck as i lay on him, “will need to cover if you don’t want potter to see.”, he says running his thumb over the bruise. “unless you’re ready to tell him now.”, he says and i can hear the smirk in his voice. i yawn as i feel his body heat under my cheek through his tshirt. “i’ll cover it up before the party.”, i say, my eyes suddenly feeling heavy. “take nap new girl, will the time go be faster.”, i hear him say as i drift of to sleep.

AN: sorry for the short chapter guys, i wanted to post tonight, but “the party” is still in the works! hope you guys enjoy this tiny bit of smut<33

[squarebracketsmileyface]

if you're looking for some Jam coded songs might I suggest the song I Love You Too - Ezra Bell

Jam song jam song jam song jam song yayayayayay

okay, it got a little long so: thingy bob

god this is so perfect for them though :] its so happysad and that's literally just so them. they are happysad together, theres so much wrong going on around them and they're all they have to turn to for comfort, so of course they're going to turn to each other. And they do love each other. they definitely do, but its definitely complicated. It's not long lasting love, but they still want to make each other feel loved.

Especially Tim. he wants to make sure Jay feels loved, he wants to fix Jay even though he definitely can't. Jay has to fix himself, and he doesn't want to, so he'll take all the nice things and the i love you's Tim will tell him and he'll hoard them and hope they'll fix him a bit, but not too much. He wants to be fixed enough that he stops feeling completely like shit, but not enough that Tim wouldn't need to keep trying to fix him. (Does that make sense lmao? god knows)

All of the lovers have moved on But yours is the steepest of hills And you glare at yourself in the mirror They all know things that you never will

They'll feel the things you can't access As they stand by the river at dawn You've grown older and cagey and classless And regret just what little you've done

This bit feels especially like its about Jay. Kinda like, at first its Tim in uni? like, he kinda knows about jay and alex even though they haven't actually told anyone (they're just not subtle about when they sneak away, and when they both come in covered in hickeys) like, Tim can kinda tell from just, Jay's face that there's something not ideal about his and Alex's arrangement, and he can take a pretty good guess at what it is given the way Jay's face drops whenever the topic of sexuality comes up in their little 'friend' group and Alex insists he's straight and gets really defensive over that fact.

Then it becomes current Tim who knows more about Jay and about Jay and Alex's not-relationship, and he knows that as Jay's gotten older he's gotten more cagey about everything, more like, defensive and more just generally weird about his relationships with people and all that. There's a specific word i'm looking for and I just can't for the life of me find it, but like yeah. Tim knows Jay's a lot more, like, spiteful? that's not the word either. spikey? WORDS ughhhhh, anyway

i love this song. its so them. its so Jam. they're such a mess. I love them but they're gonna be terrible if they're allowed to continue for too long. Ugh why can't i just telepathically beam my thoughts and ideas into peoples heads, it'd be so much easier than trying to translate the colours and shapes that make up how i feel about Jam in sorry its locked in my head.

They're just purple right now. like the colour of a bruise that you really wanna press on just to feel it hurt like a bitch so you remember its there and you know that the bump that gave you it actually happened.

that's them in my head right now.

they're a bruise

They're a bruise on each other. not a nasty one. not one given cruelly. but not one given as a hickey either. just a bruise given kindly. that doesn't even make sense.

they're just purple like a bruise i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwww. words don't make it make sense for themmmmmmmmmmm.

they're my babies and they hurt each other without even meaning to. but given where they are that hurt is sort of a kindness? because it's not as painful as it would be if they weren't trying to be gentle with each other. They're trying. even if it wont last forever.

[coridallasmultipass]

.

[toomuchracket]

thinking about D word matty in glasses and in the scientist coat and nothing else fucking the life out of you in front of a mirror and him being all sweaty and the glasses are crooked and ughhhhh the voices in my head

jesus fucking christ. like a continuation of that thing i mentioned yesterday in the role play ask - rather than fucking you over his desk, though, matty drags you to your makeup table in your shared bedroom because "i want you to be good and watch me bend you over", before he pulls your panties off and starts to fuck you. like you said, he's still got his lab coat and glasses on; you have glasses on too, and your dress is functioning more like a belt, just bunched around your waist. and you KNOW the sex is good - although matty's railing you hard, one hand on your hip and the other pulling your head up by the ponytail so he can preen at watch the way your eyes roll back into your head and your jaw trembles as he hits deeper and deeper inside you, he's still sweet to you, leaning down to whisper "fucking look at you taking my cock so well, my good girl, my perfect girl, all fucked out and beautiful. feel so fucking good around me, christ, never want to leave, want to stay like this forever. bet you'd fucking love that, wouldn't you, perfect little slut that you are. my perfect little slut, my girl, all mine". and you just turn around and pout, desperate for matty to kiss you; he coos and obliges, before pulling back and saying "you're close, aren't you, sweetheart? you wanna cum? go ahead, babe, cum all over my cock", and he lets go of your hair so he can reach around at rub at your clit. as soon as he touches it, you're a goner - you're shaking from how hard the orgasm is, reaching back to put your hand on top of matty's on your hip, a silent beg for him to keep fucking you through it. he follows soon after with a groan of your name, fucking into you through his own orgasm with precise, deep, slowing movements; watching his face in the mirror as he does almost makes you cum again, it's so fucking sexy. and the two of you just lie there, you on the table and matty on you, breathing heavily and twitching slightly lmao - matty presses a kiss to your head and says "thank you, my love, did so well for me", and all you can do is give a blissful exhausted smile in response. you stay like that for a little while, just basking in the post-sex glow, before matty somehow finds the energy to carry you to the bathroom to clean you up before bed. but yeah. good shit <3

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Greetings everyone! It is 4am and you know what that means. Thats right, its time to read ACOMAF :) chapters 41 this time. enjoy

Chapter 41

What we're just smashcutting straight to Velaris?? we're not gonna see Feyre talk about all the shit the mortal queens just said with her sisters??

ugh dont remind me of the fact that amren drinks blood but only animal blood because human blood is too watery or whatever. she couldve been my vampire girlie in this a/b/o world but instead shes just a lame disappointment in a lame disappointment world. that also doubles as an a/b/o world, lest we forget that

ughhhhh dont remind me of the fae not being affected by iron

Okay, i have to admit this line kinda slaps: "Maybe then Elain would get an engagement ring that wasn't forged out of hatred and fear."

Yeah Feyre, I hate to say it but you failed HARD as an ambassador, you are so bad at politics, but technically this was all Rhysands idea so I'd say it was his responsibility to make sure youre not bad at politics, so Im blaming him for all this

I made a joke in my last post about how the night court is really US governmentcore and now Cassian is like "we could just kill the current queens and put queens in place thatll cooperate with us" and the only reason Rhys doesnt wanna do it is because it would take too long and because they dont know what effect this will have on the book, not because, i dont know, he'd be interfering with foreign affairs and robbing all of humanity of their agency. I mean, its a monarchy so i guess humanity didnt have too much of a choice when they ascended to the throne, but atleast those queens have their best interests at heart and dont cooperate with former slave-owners

Why does Feyre care so muh about Mor potentially hurting Azriels feelings, is he not acting like Tamlin at the start of ACOMAF where he was all like "no Feyre, you cant go to the sper dangerous place, its dangerous"

Okay so, the oldest queen is the queen of The Black Land, which is a very vaguely africa-coded place, where humans were born slaves to the fae, unlike everyone else where I guess humans had to get captured by the fae to be enslaved OBVIOUSLY she doesnt wanna cooperate with fae, shes even more justified in her decision in my eyes

But then Im thinking, why can she even decide what happens with that little piece of land, Im guessing thats not part of the black land so would that not fall under the jurisdiction of one of the other queens? Honestly, they shouldve just spoken to each queen alone, I get that theyre strapped for time but im sure they couldve forged atleast one alliance without the oldest queen speaking for all of them there. Also, from a doylist perspective, it wouldve been good padding since sjm insists on making her books stupidly long and it wouldve probably given us a more functional government structure because right now it just seems like these queens who allegedly each have a kingdom to run are just hanging out in the same palace all making collectively decisions for the entire continent, which is stupid

What is it with Sarah J Maas and portraying freedom fighters being very dedicated to their cause as a bad thing, sepcifically because its not very condusive to a romantic relationship? Like, in Crescent City Hunt was a rebel and he was in love with the leader of the rebellion before she was killed and he enslaved and its very tragic and he cant love anyone but her, but then he manages to move on and fall in love with Bryce and it turns out to be a better experience for him. Specifically, theres this one scene where he buys her this jade egg or maybe she buys him one i dont remember, and he reflects on how if he had given that kind of gift to his former lover she wouldve appreciated it for one second and then just let it rot on some shelf because she just had other things on her mind, and I thought that was an interesting perspective for their relationship, but now that we're getting a similar thing with Jurian and Miriam except Jurian isnt the love interest of the MC so hes more likely to get demonized it seems kinda weird innit

Oh boy we're gonna get the UTM reeanactment soon arent we. sighhhhhh

Btw what the hell is up with Mors truth powers. Apparently a lot of people in her bloodline have them?? What makes Mor so special then, i thought the reason she was special was because her power was unique. I guess its just uniquely strong then (FOR A WOMAN) but thats just lame and also weird imo

Oh the Hewn City is called 'Höhlenstadt' ['Cave City'] in german and I think that sounds pretty bad ngl. rare Alexandra Ernst L

Feyre keeps going about how Rhys is gonna risk everything for the sake of stopping the war and its like, girlie if you keep jacking him so hard youre gonna rip his dick off, but also, hes not gonna tell anyone where Velaris is right?? Like, it'll still be hidden and safe behind that force field, people are just gonna know of its existence now. And even if Veritas shows the queens Velaris by starting off with a birdseye view of Prythian and then zooming in, that wouldnt be enough for the mortal queens to figure out Prythians geography to the point where they could actually tell where it is, not the mention that Velaris is positioned in a way that makes any attacks, but especially attacks from the mortal land, extremely difficult

Feyre talking about the repressed desire she felt when she say Rhys all naked and vulnerable when he woke up from that nightmare is very inappropriate when you consider that he was dreaming about his rapist, but is also surprisingly relatable because I too like my men best when theyre submissive and crying. its a crime rhysand never ended up getting pegged tbh

Rhysand talking about how he cant bear the thought of Feyre mentally returning to UTM when she just barely managed to leave it behind is funny cuz its like, whos idea is it gonna be to dress Feyre up like she was when you were assaulting her UTM. i dont think its her

I dont know what it is but Im already so over this stupid plotline with Mor and Eris, maybe Im just tired cuz its early but god, i dont ever wanna hear about it again

[kyleiskoool]

ok guys this is gonna be a massive non coherent yap but I had this idea and I want to expand on my brain.

okay so like avenue q duh doi and road and nicky dyh doeeieieie....!!!!

okay okay so sos sosoosososos.... fantasies come true. even though we know my opinions on fantasies true dialogue (mid asf) doesn't mean I still wont manipulate canon to my liking.

also little sidetrack i still am kinda iffy about nicky being with rod. i feel like what I meant was that if in new productions they changed the script so that rod and nikcy would be together it wouldn't be very funny esp if they just slotted it in. BUTTTTT if they kept the vibes in the demo- eg rod singing in the move you ruv someone and THE OG FANTASIES COME TRUE DIALOUGE GANG!!!!! okay bc this basically ties in to how I feel fantasies come true works in canon but I still am being rodnicky. but yeah basically this paragraph is saying rodnicky would be good in canon if it was that from the start but not if they changed the script.

okay now onto the actual point of the post. this is based on canon but isn't actually me trying to game theory about this I'm just yapping. OKAY SO IDK HOW TO SAY THIS COHERENTLY BUT obvs rod is sleeping and dreaming. but I was thinking..... so nicky suspects rod IS gay. he doesn't think that rod is gay for nicky and lowkey nobody else ever suggests that in the musical... everyone just thinks he's gay. not that he's in love with nikcy (which is obvs why he was so hesitant to come out) bc like nicky is okay with him being gay, but is he okay with rod like liking him!?!?!? yk!

so obviously nicky thinks rod is a closeted homowhatever but he doesn't understand WHY rod gets so upset about this!!!!!! because yeah being gay is a lot more scary when you like your best friend (been there, done that, tldr is he found out and we stopped being friends) esp in the early 2000's like.... basically where I'm trying to go with this, is everyone thinks he's gay but gay in general not gay for nicky.

this leads into dialouge in fantasies come true but like from nickys perspective. andsince I first listened to the soundtrack I have always wondered what rod was saying... surely he was just mumbling the words of the song... (and now I find what was always in my mind was in your mind too blah blah) but... like hear me out gang... this is where it's already fallen off the rails but continues to tumble down a hill.

i like to think... hey what if rod was saying shit like 'i love you nicky' kinda the same as what dream nicky was saying???? BUT since the dialouge after fct nicky is like "sounded like a nice dream" BC HE HEARD ROD MUMBLING ABOUT LOVING SOME GUY. but you know what nicky heard??? he didn't hear nicky????? rod is numbing in his sleep. WHAT IF NICKY THOUGHT ROD SAID RICKY...

and bc we know nicky is a fucking dumbass he gets upset BC DO YOU WANNA KNOW THE NEXT PART OF OUR STORY.

NICKY IS BI.

THATS WHY HES 'NOT GAY' BC HE'S BI SO HES LIKE TRYING TO LIE TO ROD BUT HES NOT ACTUALLY LYING. and basically he thought rod was gay but wanted him to come out so he knew he had some sort of chance with rod. but obviously the entire time NICKY WAS THE ONE MISSING THE SIGNS. NICKY CANT READ BTW THE LINES. and he's sitting here through their entire friendship like 'i really do think rod is gay but if he's gay I still dont see why he'd like me bc I'm just his college roomie but I want him to come out because there's some possibility' but he's being DELULU GANG he's saying this bc he wants to think that rod likes him back!!!!! but he doesn't actually believe that.

ANYWAYS HE STILL WANTS ROD TO LIVE HIS AUTHENTIC SELF AND all that jazz. so ughhhhh I'm so obsessed with this stupid guy. he hears rod mumble a 'i love you ricky' and then when he goes and gets rod a boyfriend he sees someone called ricky and gets excited knowing rod will like it.

also its an insane concept to gift someone a boyfriend but that's whatever.

anyways thats how i can still be a rodnicky canon truther while it still not actually happening in canon. i feel like I had more to say about this but I have since forgotten.

but yeah so nicky gets sad because he cant be boyfriends with rod but he's still happy because he loves being around rod and AHAHAHHAAHGSHJKJHGFDDFGH.

also more yap while im here you guys are already this far along but oh my god rod nicky is literally so sad like wtf. rod kicking nicky out not because he's a slob. not because he's lazy. not because he never helps but because HE LOVES HIM TOO MUCH IS A CRAZY CONCEPT (and also because he kinda outed him/pressured him but shhhh)

then LATER. WHEN NICKY IS HOMELESS. HE APPROACHES ROD WITH ALL THE JOY IN THE WORLD GOING "HEY BUDDY" AND ROD WITH EVERY FIBER IN HIS BEING HAS TO IGNORE HIM "IS THAT A BREEZE IN THE WIND I HEAR FLOATING PAST" OR WTV THE LINE IS IDHGFGHJKUY. STOP. STOP NOW ROD.

being around you is torture but being away is worse than anything trope has a chokehold on me. nicky depends on rod financially and also as someone who he can just latch onto and talk to and share his curiosity with and rod needs nicky so he can function as a person.

like guys... after nicky was kicked out and everyone else had yk been happy bc kate got her school and whatever, we haven't seen rod for basically ALL of act two apart from the nicky interaction and him going 'i miss nicky :(' in a therapy session with Christmas eve!!!! an then everyone heard a loud bang and they all think HE HAS KILLED HIMSELF. like???? gang. no way you're so gay that YOUR THERAPIST who we can presume he talks to about missing nicky all the bloody time hears a loud bang and think you've ended it like gang.

okay that was kinda irrelevant but like everyone was convinced he was so gay he committed like what. what a crazy end to avenue q if that actually happened tho.

anyways then it turns out he just gets a boyfriend and all of their gay tension was for NOTHING! lame as fuck btw.... don't tease us with gay.

anyways this devolved into the most horrendous horribly thought up rant I have ever made and it did not stay on topic at all. if you read all of that hats off to you because uhhh. lets just say I am a yapper who doesn't actual think about his yap and just lets my fingers go. so uhh yeah that's kindof all my thoughts about rodnicky in canon. not all of them. but yeah how I think that nicky heard and the implications of it ig!!!