#im so stressed ughhhhh
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Hnngg
#im so stressed ughhhhh#this divorce is gonna end me man though im probably stressing out over nothing AGAIN#like tomorrow my dad's bringing some expert to the house to put a price on the house#and i literally have no idea whatever that's gonna be how we are gonna pay that shit lmaoo#also i just really don't wanna be there or be with them in the same house god i hate it when they're near each other#i am..... going through it more than i probably should since I'm an adult now n stuff but whatever#it's not like i can just stop feeling all this distress and grief n shit especially since he's already found a girlfriend#with kids and stuff and they've already been going to my grandparents ughhh i feel thrown away you know#it hasn't even been a year it's pissing me off so badly#i feel like killing myself every time i think about tomorrow and then I feel even worse when i think about later ughhh#i shouldn't be so distressed i really shouldn't#especially since I've been living my life on an incredible streak of luck so.#whateverrrrr#uhh like comment and subscribe#vent#i just gotta. cause there isn't anyone here i can really talk to since#everyone sees this so much more differently and sis is just always telling me im making it into something bigger than it is#but it's really stressing me out#idk i fear this is not gonna end nicely I don't even see him anymore#and it literally hasn't even been a year but he's not really talking to me but at the same time i don't really#feel like talking to him either so who knows uhh..
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got into a car wreck and it jumped started my period and now i have heavy flow, slight cramps and oh yeah brusies from the crash. my hormones are all over the place and I'm trying to literally supress the memories of the crash because i don't want to think about it. i want to stay zen, i want to stay cool BUT OH HEY HERES MY PERIOD ON HEAVY FLOW!!! so i guess pro tip to all my fellow period havers JUST GET IN A CAR ACCIDENT AND ITLL START YOUR PERIOD. for fucks fucking FUCKSKWJWKWKWJWJ i hate everything I just want to be a monk and at peace and calm. OH YEA not to mention the pads are extremely sensory issues giving and I hate all other period products. I feel dysphoric, having a period is awful and it doesn't help my boyfriend is being an ass and not letting us watch anything i want to watch and th3 couch is uncomfortable and I hate being on my period im so tired and upset and I hate everything
#fuck ass car wreck#i wish i died in it#im so fucking tired#period#period pain#twmydiary#bpd#bpd vent#vent#suic1dal#suic1de#tw sui ideation#anxitey#im so tired#stress#su1c1d4l#UGHHHHH#AHHHHHH
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What do u do you're about to have the breakdown that you absolutely fuckin deserve lmao
#im gonna be sick#sorry mom im so so sorr#sorry#ik physically ok I rlly am#4th just got me stressed#ughhhhh 2025 agit is getting to me#but i am fine ff )gen#fr#crying it out#idk#vent#I'll be okay!!!!#fr we r good just nreed good. vibcx#need good vibes rn#djfjjzsk#lol#sorry fr don't worry!!! we r good af#no srsly tho we r safe srry l#I just need to speak honestly bc we have strength but#we still feel sad n scared idk#feels pathetic but we Just wanna be over it#frfr#help me be over it#i am a crust punk#why am i bad
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i really fucking hope i dont get sick......
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she held my hand in the lunch line and walking between classes :333333
#not in a romantic way or anything but i was still like hfkdjdnhsndbdjskekkkdnndms#im making her a mini crochet bag made out of heart granny squares too but im worried it’ll be construed as romantic and not jsut cute#bc i do maybe possibly have a little baby crush on her but i do not want a relationship (aroace)#ughhhhh idk why is having a crush so silly and fun but having those feelings reciprocated is terrifying and uncomfortable#maybe bc i know that she is very VERY much not aro or ace and i won’t ever be able to give her a truly fulfilling romantic relationship#shes also been saying recently that she wants a girlfriend …… throws up why is being wlw SO STRESSFUL!!!!!!!!!!#🐋
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I forgot they're doing driver introductions today, I honestly have no idea what to expect 😭😭
#but i will take any chance i get to gif fernando#(and lance and oscar if its truly very interesting!)#also abt race day:#im genuinely so stressed but like not mentally i think its just muscle memory for me to be stressed#like i feel like im not that worried but i feel so stressed that i feel sick UGHHHHH#well no red bull for me today cause i think id die if i drank it#catie.rambling.txt
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people trying to help me in too pushy of a way <3 how do i say thanks so much but leave me alone <3
#i literally dont WANT you to cc the ceo of a center for helping small businesses in an email to me im not in business yet 🙃#she literally immediately scheduled a zoom call for tomorrow morning to talk abt applying for a program im not ready for!!#i dont want to apply for a loan im not ready for all that!!!#i literally wont be opening for almost a decade im just planting trees every spring i dont need to do anything else#in ten years i might want to buy some used equipment#aaaaaaaa#this lady i know has been telling me abt this organization for months which is very nice and encouraging me to reach out to them#but i have literally no need or reason to do that yet#and wont for a few years probably#but she got inpatient ig and just reached out for me and now things are happeninggg#i literally have no pitch for my business it barely exists <3#i registered to claim the name so technically it exists and i planted a crop this spring that wont be ready for 8 years but thats it lol#we dont exist exist#anyway this lady means so very well and wants to help but im so stressed abt this i wasnt ready to deal with this lol#anyway its an organization that helps women and minority businesses or somethingggg idk anything abt it 😭#and im pretty sure the program she's signing me up for will cost money that i dont have 😣#i literally dont need to do a small business workshop at this point im just starting out and wont be open for years#ughhhhh#now i have a business zoom call first thing in the morning like an actual professional adult 😐#this has been a shitpost#anyway its probably a good and wonderful thing that i should be grateful for but its happening too fast and im not prepared#so i dont want to ruin the opportunity by being a dummy who doesn't know abt business ten years before i am even ready for the opportunity#😣😣😣#im sure its all good and fine and helpful but aaaaaaaaaa
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i love licho times, can you imagine how much licho time i can get when my holidays start in a few hours
#im so scared of posting my ideas but yesterday was fun yippee i was on a roll it actually calmed me down#oc times may be impacted tho. cause i fel sick but idk if its stress i guess im just scared ughhhhh#keep your fingers crossed for me i just want to get through this horrible class <3
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my workplace may be draining the life out of me i think 🙄
#it's been so busy that i'm mentally and physically exhausted 👍#and im stressed about stupid shit that doesnt matter. when i should be Enjoying My Life or whatever.#ughhhhh#.txt
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now im finally free of this article yippieeee the rest will be a problem for future me
#forget abt the presentation for now (during which i will probably be in a different country. lmao)#only 1 group mate will NOT be in a different country and she's like u guys will come right 😀#and the truth is actually i WOULD like to come (might be shocking but id love to present this project for cool academics)#but i will literally be in another country and plane tickets etc 💔#so what if we present online....... i hate online presentations tho#ughhhhh so uncertain again#anyway. future me u will fix this. probably#i just hope it will be published uwwwwwwu can u imagine 🥺#🗒#rn thinking once again abt the fact that i started something that will put my family under financial stress <3 haha#like. it's way too selfish. but im doing it so i gotta move on at this point lmao#also should talk to my father abt this soon ughhhhhhh#even transferring money is so fucking hard in this country i hate it hereeeee#(realizes there are valid reasons for me to leave but still feels incredibly selfish but yeah. shutting up now)
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#im still mad abt a customer i was ringing through yesterday#i feel like i shouldn't be anymore bc like ive had way worse and he seemed like he was just having a bad day#vs someone who is just entitled or trying to be an asshole for the sake of it#but he was raising his voice and my manager was off the clock standing right next to me and not saying anything#like yeah that's fair you aren't working anymore but like i was so stressed#and if i was any less stressed i feel like i could've been a bit more firm and try to calm him down myself#but i wasn't i was scared as fuck for no reason and i was just nervously trying to get him rung through and i almost wanted to cry after#but i couldn't bc i had to ring the next person through :) and just recounting it is making me want to punch someone#ARGHHHHHHH. AAGHHHHHHHH. UGHHHHH.#im so madddddd im so pissed off i need to quit my job. if this happens even one more time im going to bite a higher up#ignore this
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ughhhhh i know this i know this i KNOW THIS so WHY am i still CRYING
#i hate decay of angels it’s so stressful😭#why am i rereading this#whys it still make me CRY#like stopppp#i stopped watching it in the anime pretty early and i think some of these scenes are going to DESTROY me to see animated#like ughhhhh STOP#this is stressing me out so much im starting to doubt if i’ll be able to tolerate the new stuff😪#my emotions are going to get too fried for it fr#but there are developments that i needddddd to happen#and i think they MIGHT have while i was in my bsd blackout for months straight lol#or at least im HOPING#but god getting there is HARD#its too SAD
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AH going over to this guys place... pretty sure we're gonna hook up !! i am a ball of nerves rn yo. PLS wish me luck, safety and PLSSS let this actually be fun and not a lame hookup w someone who doesnt know what theyre doing
#ya girl is STRESSIN#ughhhhh pls let this be fun#i got my mace so im ready to rock and roll#UGH stress but excitement#sorry yall i needed some kind of outlet and as we all know#telling the internet is the normal and sane thing to do#anyways back to girlblogging til i have to leave
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Cried at school today lol.
#crow talks#it was the last subject so meh#but. like. UGHHHHH#everything is too loud. do t like it.#also it was kinda hot so. not good!!!!!#i wasnt even stressed out over the stuff we were learning. i was just stressed bc of the loudness.#idk if im using the right word but eh whatever#i still feel a bit bad but im a bit better now.#im not gonna work on assignments yet . think im not ready.#just gonna chill w the rhythm games
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..yall need to promise to read this but also be kind about it when i post it i really havent written either of these boys before and now im having second thoughts about this being any good even tho i love a good good flow of thought fic but aaaaaaaaaa
..i might actually have a fic to post later. this is something within my wheelhouse but also with characters ive never worked with so im just kinda like?????
sorry im probably about to butcher some fandom favorite boys but!!!!
#i hate writing new things oh my god im so stressed out this is probably terrible actually ughhhhh#rip me in peas what the fuck
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i love byler tumblr so much like genuinely i appreciate you all sm
i wanna start coming on here more like i used to bc ive been on twt alot more and im getting tired of it like ughhhhh byler tumblr is just so much more chill and fun to be around twt just stresses me out
#also i see alot more milkvan on twt and its starting to piss me the fuck off#sorry rant#but seriously i love yall#byler tumblr#byler#mike wheeler#will byers#byler endgame
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