#im so stressed ughhhhh
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Hnngg
#im so stressed ughhhhh#this divorce is gonna end me man though im probably stressing out over nothing AGAIN#like tomorrow my dad's bringing some expert to the house to put a price on the house#and i literally have no idea whatever that's gonna be how we are gonna pay that shit lmaoo#also i just really don't wanna be there or be with them in the same house god i hate it when they're near each other#i am..... going through it more than i probably should since I'm an adult now n stuff but whatever#it's not like i can just stop feeling all this distress and grief n shit especially since he's already found a girlfriend#with kids and stuff and they've already been going to my grandparents ughhh i feel thrown away you know#it hasn't even been a year it's pissing me off so badly#i feel like killing myself every time i think about tomorrow and then I feel even worse when i think about later ughhh#i shouldn't be so distressed i really shouldn't#especially since I've been living my life on an incredible streak of luck so.#whateverrrrr#uhh like comment and subscribe#vent#i just gotta. cause there isn't anyone here i can really talk to since#everyone sees this so much more differently and sis is just always telling me im making it into something bigger than it is#but it's really stressing me out#idk i fear this is not gonna end nicely I don't even see him anymore#and it literally hasn't even been a year but he's not really talking to me but at the same time i don't really#feel like talking to him either so who knows uhh..
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What do u do you're about to have the breakdown that you absolutely fuckin deserve lmao
#im gonna be sick#sorry mom im so so sorr#sorry#ik physically ok I rlly am#4th just got me stressed#ughhhhh 2025 agit is getting to me#but i am fine ff )gen#fr#crying it out#idk#vent#I'll be okay!!!!#fr we r good just nreed good. vibcx#need good vibes rn#djfjjzsk#lol#sorry fr don't worry!!! we r good af#no srsly tho we r safe srry l#I just need to speak honestly bc we have strength but#we still feel sad n scared idk#feels pathetic but we Just wanna be over it#frfr#help me be over it#i am a crust punk#why am i bad
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i really fucking hope i dont get sick......
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she held my hand in the lunch line and walking between classes :333333
#not in a romantic way or anything but i was still like hfkdjdnhsndbdjskekkkdnndms#im making her a mini crochet bag made out of heart granny squares too but im worried it’ll be construed as romantic and not jsut cute#bc i do maybe possibly have a little baby crush on her but i do not want a relationship (aroace)#ughhhhh idk why is having a crush so silly and fun but having those feelings reciprocated is terrifying and uncomfortable#maybe bc i know that she is very VERY much not aro or ace and i won’t ever be able to give her a truly fulfilling romantic relationship#shes also been saying recently that she wants a girlfriend …… throws up why is being wlw SO STRESSFUL!!!!!!!!!!#🐋
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I forgot they're doing driver introductions today, I honestly have no idea what to expect 😭😭
#but i will take any chance i get to gif fernando#(and lance and oscar if its truly very interesting!)#also abt race day:#im genuinely so stressed but like not mentally i think its just muscle memory for me to be stressed#like i feel like im not that worried but i feel so stressed that i feel sick UGHHHHH#well no red bull for me today cause i think id die if i drank it#catie.rambling.txt
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people trying to help me in too pushy of a way <3 how do i say thanks so much but leave me alone <3
#i literally dont WANT you to cc the ceo of a center for helping small businesses in an email to me im not in business yet 🙃#she literally immediately scheduled a zoom call for tomorrow morning to talk abt applying for a program im not ready for!!#i dont want to apply for a loan im not ready for all that!!!#i literally wont be opening for almost a decade im just planting trees every spring i dont need to do anything else#in ten years i might want to buy some used equipment#aaaaaaaa#this lady i know has been telling me abt this organization for months which is very nice and encouraging me to reach out to them#but i have literally no need or reason to do that yet#and wont for a few years probably#but she got inpatient ig and just reached out for me and now things are happeninggg#i literally have no pitch for my business it barely exists <3#i registered to claim the name so technically it exists and i planted a crop this spring that wont be ready for 8 years but thats it lol#we dont exist exist#anyway this lady means so very well and wants to help but im so stressed abt this i wasnt ready to deal with this lol#anyway its an organization that helps women and minority businesses or somethingggg idk anything abt it 😭#and im pretty sure the program she's signing me up for will cost money that i dont have 😣#i literally dont need to do a small business workshop at this point im just starting out and wont be open for years#ughhhhh#now i have a business zoom call first thing in the morning like an actual professional adult 😐#this has been a shitpost#anyway its probably a good and wonderful thing that i should be grateful for but its happening too fast and im not prepared#so i dont want to ruin the opportunity by being a dummy who doesn't know abt business ten years before i am even ready for the opportunity#😣😣😣#im sure its all good and fine and helpful but aaaaaaaaaa
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#job hunting is so fucking stressful#i need a new job before june for my med school apps bc i need something to stand out#which is already going to be difficult#but on top of that my current job wants a 3 MONTH notice before i quit???#like yeah technically they cant enforce it but i NEED a letter of rec from this job so basically they can ask me to do whatever they w#want and im totally at their mercy#what job is going to hire me and let me start 3 months later#im so stresed out about this rn#ughhhhh#the worst part of this is it's partly my fault bc it wouldnt be such an issue if i had planned ahead#bc now it's already april so if i put in my notice now i still wont be able to quit until july which is too late
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im so fucking mad rn. the geodesy prof did an online lecture at 9pm and sent a mail an hour earlier and when i tried to join he didn't want to accept my joining request. fucking hell i hate it here
#why the hell is he doing this ay 9pm on friday#AND WHY DIDN'T HE GIVE AN INFO EARLIER#he's going to make a fuss about that i know it ughhhhh#unfortunately academic success is one of the main things that prevent me from feeling worthless so when something like this happens im#immediately reaching the highest peak of stress#im so mad at the moment that i can't even put my thoughts into coherent words#im gonna cry someone just kill me please#why do things have to always turn out like this why can't it all go perfectly like please im trying#i think i need therapy#but for now i'll just go cry in a corner
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i love licho times, can you imagine how much licho time i can get when my holidays start in a few hours
#im so scared of posting my ideas but yesterday was fun yippee i was on a roll it actually calmed me down#oc times may be impacted tho. cause i fel sick but idk if its stress i guess im just scared ughhhhh#keep your fingers crossed for me i just want to get through this horrible class <3
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my workplace may be draining the life out of me i think 🙄
#it's been so busy that i'm mentally and physically exhausted 👍#and im stressed about stupid shit that doesnt matter. when i should be Enjoying My Life or whatever.#ughhhhh#.txt
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yikes
just realized tmrw is august first meaning college application season starts.
um. no thank you? 💥
i’m so endlessly terrified i’m not gonna get into any of the schools i applied to but um fuck it we ball?
#i guess this means i actually have to write my damn essay#also i think this means i also need to get my license#i can drive#i have my permit and all#but im so terrified of driving#i also need to get a job gang#ughhhhh sometimes i just want to be a silly thirteen year old again#and instead i’m an exhausted and stressed seventeen y/o#i’ll get back to regularly scheduled art soon ? idk yet might post some lmk or mysme art#vent ?? not really though#prepping for college is like the scariest thing#college prep#applications#not gonna have a fun time#if you’ve applied to college and like you’re going in this year or whatever let me know what it was like ?#/nf
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now im finally free of this article yippieeee the rest will be a problem for future me
#forget abt the presentation for now (during which i will probably be in a different country. lmao)#only 1 group mate will NOT be in a different country and she's like u guys will come right 😀#and the truth is actually i WOULD like to come (might be shocking but id love to present this project for cool academics)#but i will literally be in another country and plane tickets etc 💔#so what if we present online....... i hate online presentations tho#ughhhhh so uncertain again#anyway. future me u will fix this. probably#i just hope it will be published uwwwwwwu can u imagine 🥺#🗒#rn thinking once again abt the fact that i started something that will put my family under financial stress <3 haha#like. it's way too selfish. but im doing it so i gotta move on at this point lmao#also should talk to my father abt this soon ughhhhhhh#even transferring money is so fucking hard in this country i hate it hereeeee#(realizes there are valid reasons for me to leave but still feels incredibly selfish but yeah. shutting up now)
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#im still mad abt a customer i was ringing through yesterday#i feel like i shouldn't be anymore bc like ive had way worse and he seemed like he was just having a bad day#vs someone who is just entitled or trying to be an asshole for the sake of it#but he was raising his voice and my manager was off the clock standing right next to me and not saying anything#like yeah that's fair you aren't working anymore but like i was so stressed#and if i was any less stressed i feel like i could've been a bit more firm and try to calm him down myself#but i wasn't i was scared as fuck for no reason and i was just nervously trying to get him rung through and i almost wanted to cry after#but i couldn't bc i had to ring the next person through :) and just recounting it is making me want to punch someone#ARGHHHHHHH. AAGHHHHHHHH. UGHHHHH.#im so madddddd im so pissed off i need to quit my job. if this happens even one more time im going to bite a higher up#ignore this
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ughhhhh i know this i know this i KNOW THIS so WHY am i still CRYING
#i hate decay of angels it’s so stressful😭#why am i rereading this#whys it still make me CRY#like stopppp#i stopped watching it in the anime pretty early and i think some of these scenes are going to DESTROY me to see animated#like ughhhhh STOP#this is stressing me out so much im starting to doubt if i’ll be able to tolerate the new stuff😪#my emotions are going to get too fried for it fr#but there are developments that i needddddd to happen#and i think they MIGHT have while i was in my bsd blackout for months straight lol#or at least im HOPING#but god getting there is HARD#its too SAD
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AH going over to this guys place... pretty sure we're gonna hook up !! i am a ball of nerves rn yo. PLS wish me luck, safety and PLSSS let this actually be fun and not a lame hookup w someone who doesnt know what theyre doing
#ya girl is STRESSIN#ughhhhh pls let this be fun#i got my mace so im ready to rock and roll#UGH stress but excitement#sorry yall i needed some kind of outlet and as we all know#telling the internet is the normal and sane thing to do#anyways back to girlblogging til i have to leave
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Cried at school today lol.
#crow talks#it was the last subject so meh#but. like. UGHHHHH#everything is too loud. do t like it.#also it was kinda hot so. not good!!!!!#i wasnt even stressed out over the stuff we were learning. i was just stressed bc of the loudness.#idk if im using the right word but eh whatever#i still feel a bit bad but im a bit better now.#im not gonna work on assignments yet . think im not ready.#just gonna chill w the rhythm games
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