#i wanna give up so back
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I'm sorry for not posting good stuff, I just feel so useless at the moment. To keep it not so brief, one teacher is being an utter bitch and as a result, my entire life is crumbling around me. I was sick during an exam last week and only had 20 minutes to even attempt it. The English teacher rung home and told my parents that I'm not trying and I'm doing it on purpose because im arrogant and that I'm going to fail, which basically means that I won't be able to further my desired career and my entire life will be in shambles because later on in life, I won't be able to fund my own courses because im relying on my parents for financial aid at the moment. They're threatening to cut off that aid and not let me do the courses if i fail a single exam because they don't want me to end up like my sister (aka, they don't want me taking Foundation Studies to retake an exam). Keep I mind that these are practice exams and I still have about 2 months to improve.
I've had every thought under the Sun about it and I just don't know what to do. I'm thinking about reporting her to my academic mentor and asking her to tell my teacher to stop calling my parents because this feels like pure humiliation, but beyond that, I have no power. I feel like I'm gonna end up as a disowned failure and have all the opportunities I've built up just crumble away. School is one of the most traumatic experiences of my life but no one takes it seriously and it's genuinely one of the most harmful things thats happened to me. I can't drop out because of laws surrounding schooling and not a single adult around me has offered any support.
#will delete later#i need to get this off my chest before i have a meltdown#well i already am but i mean before it gets worse#i'm convinced i just had some kind of flashback but it feels almost attention-seeking to say that bc i haven't had a ptsd diagnosis#i wanna give up so back#not like suicide but just giving up#coz what's the point in trying for yourself if you'll never be enough for others#i just want this all to end i'm so tired#i'm not even 18 yet so why couldn't life just be a fantasy until then at least#i've been trying since i was 9 to keep it together but it's never truly worked#i'm just inherently broken i guess#i'm sorry i've gotten into an uncomfortable rant territory for people#i should prob stop being so negative all the damn time#maybe that's why people don't really care to see me any more i've just become some stupid kid who whines all the time#i'm sorry
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💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖
For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!
The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^
What's been added to the 3.5 version?
📺 Streamer Mode!
I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.
Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh
This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!
⚙️ Custom Pronouns!
It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;
Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!
💗 Choose how others perceive you!
You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.
For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!
📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!
You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3
Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!
I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;
I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao
📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!
You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!
Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!
I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;
It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)
🖤 Additional Scenes Update!
Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!
If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.
After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga
🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!
I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!
I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.
Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.
How to download and play the update?
(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!
Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)
Enjoy!!
#14 days with you#14dwy#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — updates.#🖤 — spoilers.#I'm not gonna say much about my current doxxing situation because I've got it under control now + it's being handled privately#Plus I don't wanna give it/the people involved any unnecessary attention. I just wanna announce the update and Get Back To It™️#(''it'' bein the grind 💪 It never stops lmao /silly)#OG followers will also know that these topics aren't the vibe I normally have on this blog (or any of my accounts); so I don't think I'll—#—make ANOTHER public post about the situation and bring more attention to it (when I just want everything to be over and put to rest ^^;)#However I also don't want people to think that I'm... ignoring?? the situation entirely (because gettin doxxed is a very endangering thing)#So I DO want to quickly acknowledge it here and say that it's all currently handled + I'm safe and okay + this won't stop me from—#—continuing to work on 14DWY (and other future projects). I also don't want to give these awful people more power and incentive to continue#—this kind of pathetic behaviour; so the less attention and encouragement being shown will ultimately be better in the long run :3#Aaaaaanways!! 😮💨#My other accounts will be restored shortly and my askbox will be opened once I feel comfortable. I'll get around to following folks—#—again in my own time; so please don't feel offended if I unfollowed you during a moment of vulnerability and anxiety!!#This is all EXTREMELY overwhelming and scary for someone with SAD/AvPD; and I /gen can't handle seeing it all over my timeline ;v;#Sorry this got ranty and personal again hjdsgjsdh T_T I said I wouldn't say much; so I'll shut up now hehe#🖤 — shut up sai.
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Me when I’m in a being coerced into parenthood competition and my opponent is sun wukong
#what is it with this guy and getting the gift of motherhood thrust upon him#big monkey and small child is a tried and true method#sun wukong#journey to the west#digital art#my art#jttw sun wukong#lego monkie kid#monkey king reborn#monkey king hero is back#yes let’s give the suicidally impulsive demon monkey a child#his ass does NOT wanna be a parent 😭#everytime I think I’ve seen the last swk movie more keep coming up that I’ve never heard of#animations favorite special little boy#he’s like the Chinese madonna#don’t read into that statement too much I say that about everyone#there’s so many of them#there being so many versions of sun wukong out there is lore accurate#his clone ability at work#also kinda laughing my ass off at how this dude is under 4foot but his energy is so tall people keep drawing him long#what +1000 aura does for you
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what kind of underwear do you think Erik and Charles wear (i'm not asking this to see them half naked) ((please believe me)) (((PLEASE)))
My Personal Belief is charles is a briefs guy while erik's a trunks guy. trunks/briefs kinda couple because i can
and idk just a lil bonus or somethin. as i do.
#nsft#probably. again A Promotion Would Be In Order From Me Personally but WHATEVER.#cherik#im too tired to tag everything ok this post'll find its people#snap sketches#not too tired for a tag ramble tho eUUGGHHH#i HAVE to post the second bit now or ill be editing it all night and for what. i will live#and my silly ass said i wouldnt draw that reading idea. well guess what im a LIAR who LIES.#i do wanna revisit that proper tho .. at least draw em by the fireplace someday but anyway#i think the funny thing is i had like. plans to draw charles in purple briefs just cause he wore them once and i chortled Unreasonably#so here we are. youll have to forgive me my friend i have a condition called If I Get An Excuse To Draw I Will#it is a very serious condition cause i need to SLEEEEPP truly and honestly locking in later i HAVE to#leaving all of you with this for the next idk twelve hours thats crazy#all i want to do is draw but i feel my eyes . Getting Weird and i have exams so i guess i should be a responsible person and sleep#i actually have a lot i need to catch up on so like. i prob wont be back on until this weekend when im Hopefully more free#'snap didnt you say that last night' I HAVE TO BE SERIOUS THIS TIME i got a lot. so i will see everyone saturday Hopefully#please give me the strength to focus for once thank you#for now good night everyone !!! please enjoy my doodlings from today. yesterday. i must not make any more for now
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Be honest, what are your thoughts on appledash? Do you hate it or its more of not a big deal
Not a big deal to me. I like it, I see all the appeals, I just personally like Rarijack more.
#ask me#anon#if you wanna know why i like rarijack more i just think they're a healthier depiction of a domestic and longterm relationship#appledash gives me the vibes of gfs that'll eventually break up#because from s1 to s8 their relationship and communication with each other on serious things never really matures or grows#they were competitive and petty in s1 and they were competitive and petty in s8#arguably worse cuz in that s8 episode their dynamic becomes so toxic they almost cause a student under their care to drown#both of them have a superiority complex that's constantly conflicting with each other and it never really gets resolved#but with rarijack there's a very clear arc of development you can follow in their character#and multiple episodes show how they'll argue and eventually come back together and apologize and communicate and work to better things#you can watch them grow to like and understand each other. in s1 aj scoffs and makes fun of rarity's work in fashion#but in a later season (after some conflict) aj says that she doesn't understand fashion but she knows it means a lot to rarity so it means#a lot to her too. and that's what love is to me. “it didn't mean anything to me until it meant something to you”#it's genuinely really sweet and i'd argue rarijack /feels/ the most romantic out of all the main 6 ships. through arguing they grow closer#which is how it's supposed to be in relationships that last! you argue to work out your interpersonal problems and understand each other#(which is why it's genuinely kinda baffling to me that appledash ended up being canonically married because they never gave me those vibes)#but it really doesn't matter. they're cartoon horses! have fun with them
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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Enstars sure is an experience. Did I miss anything?
#are you guys all okay? i definitely am not okay#this is not the type of media that i usually go for yet it is EXACTLY the type of media that i would like#so many gaps so many stories WAY TOO MUCH READING I DONT HAVE THE TIME#i know i missed a lot because ive only watched the anime and read the main music story up to ch 4 of the second part#and i have read some events stories that were free#and maybe one or two outside from translations#but like thats it#this is like reading orv and getting hit with its deep metas on human life and the importance of stories#but instead im being clobbered by the most deranged storylines known to man (and again. i read ORV and am a bsd fan)#this isnt fantasy but there is nothing realistic about enstars and i unfortunately am attached#every day i spiral into east asian media that gives me an aneurysm#bsd -> orv -> link click -> enstars....i wanna say they keep getting more unhinged but theyre all unhinged in different ways#anyway please help me....#enstars#ensemble stars#fandom spamdom#stuff i say#i will admit i am mostly into the game for the stories#a consistent gamer i am not#but to unlock the stories ill push back the animes i have to catch up on etc etc#again. please help me....#edit: updated to remove queerbaiting because apparently i dont know whats going on
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Tetris Fanart.
I've been playing tetris while listening to horror podcasts. and yeah
#text#art#eyestrain#cw eystrain#bright colors#cw bright colors#tetris#nintendo#god i dont know what to tag this with. i dont wanna tag it with the podcasts themselves cuz that feels disingenuous. swagever#i actually started this piece a while ago. ok yeah looking at the date that was almost 3 weeks ago wow#but i finally decided to bring it back and finish it#ive been getting back into digital art and its been really nice. its nice having finished pieces.#ive been trying to get weirder with my art. like this piece was weirdly 'personal' in a sense#its been my unique experience listening to these pieces of media. the game in the bg is jsut as important to my experience as the art itsel#the looming sense of dread these podcasts give fit weirdly well with the high tension of some of these games of tetris#i wanted to have that sorta weird ominous vibe to it. have even the pieces feel loud and threatening.#and the gameplay being Past the ds itself is something i thought could be neat#ykno the tetris effect? where you play a bunch and then after you see the shapes everywhere;you play it in your mind?#that was part of what i wanted to channel there. but also like; how your attention works with this stuff#i might be looking straight at the ds but my attention is elsewhere; my brain is in another world#the game is still inescapable tho. tetris effect whatever. these stories stick in my brain just as much.#its all given me some. very very annoyingn anxiety. but i have to go back to them. like a moth to a flame etc. hince the moth climbing out#but uh yeah. that set up was my life for a few weeks whenever i had free time.#the main podcast this is about was magnus btw <- not typing full name so im not on the tag#and uh.#objectum#yeah i think. i think yeah.
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honest wheee ✨ to monty for that mid-swing 45° angle kiss diving right into the pretty thing (edwin) like it's his second crow nature. it could only be pulled off by a magical boy. i'm pretty sure a regular human would bonk their crush's head hard and fall off and roll over in the dirt and leaves but this was smooth as hell no pun intended
#i also just wanna know how many tries it took. it doesn't seem like a one shot win. give me the outtakes please#dbda#dbdshow#edwin x monty#monty the crow#edwin payne#dead boy detectives#back on dbda track. i don't even mind spoilers this is so fun. and tragic#“i wasn't talking about you” christ edwin you had to drag him like that and for what#it was a good kiss. have some grace#marcela talks#marcela watches dbda#<- set up a tag if you wanna mute it or sth!
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doodles of my fav sillies
anton belongs to @poicyss
#my brain is a barbie dreamhouse and theyre all just living in it#im especially fond of the second one because my mom used to hold me like that all the time <3#im drawing them a lot lately because im being crushed by the horrors and have to compensate for it somehow#homemade comfort blorbos......#watch me draw anton inconsistently bc i can never decide if i wanna draw him close to how he actually looks#or yassify him and give him soft fluffy hair and kind eyes and defined features. head in my hands#i dont really have a lot of drawing ideas for them bc they dont have like. a canon storyline or anything methinks#its just stuff me and bow toss around and giggle abt thru messages lol. maybe ill draw infant vincent one of these days#i just come up with stuff and draw them doing it. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside#cuz like anton works for lobocorp as an abnormality BUT hes super duper chill and cute and does his funny little tasks so its fine#AND hes unkillable. auggie is an oc ive had since like 6th grade and i smushed them together. and vincent was for fun but i got attached#i dont have much of a read on anton either bc i think hes meant to be more of an insert character??? if im using that right#on one hand i dont think too hard abt anything being ooc since im not taking it seriously. on the other hand i just hold them in my hands#and stare into space until i can come up with something to draw since i dont have much to go off of. but its fun to build on small tidbits!#i think bow called it an au so i guess??? its an au????? im not really sure. bow if youre reading this im just willy nilly#the only thing i know for sure is that they boink like rabbits. im talking gomez and morticia levels of boinking#maybe ill go back and look at my old doodles for them and redraw em lol#myart#my art#my oc#oc#friend oc#augusta#anton#vincent#sillies family#doodles
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I think it fits them
#knkdz posting because I lost my 50/50 to fuckass qiqi and currently having a breakdown#ya Allah can't I have ONE WIN#give me back my ada family now#ON TOP OF THAT CYNO SQ IS ON 2ND HALF OF THE PATCH im so sad#my sumeru family i miss u all so much....#i wanna grind on genshin but i have finals coming up and :( sure i can do 60 pulls before arle is gone (maybe) but i have to study as well#sacrifice sleep it is#anyways 😔😭#knkdz#bsd#bsd dazai#bsd Kunikida
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2011 Italian Grand Prix - Vettonso
#SORRY. I AM GOING THROUGH IT.#this is why i had to put vettonso merchant in my bio bcs if i dont post them at least 5x a week ill die#their dynamic in this race is like actually indecipherable to me#cause this is the race where fernando 'allegedly' said fuck you my boy#but their dynamic is so odd????#like they have that happen in the cooldown room#and then generally ignore each other on the podium#and then we randomly get this cute moment and then they INSTANTLY go back to being awkward#but then in the press con they keep talking about each other and looking at each other???? okay :)#sometimes im just like. yeah no i give up on trying to understand them#not rly noticeable in these buts its so funny how seb pats him to get his attention#and then immediately goes to cheer as if to be like 'huh what i didnt touch uou'#to ref that one post about this race said: he didnt wanna embarrass himself again by getting turned on#stealing this from c cough cough but hes like 'oh no!! if he looks at me im gonna embrass myself on broadcast again!!'#anyways i love this moment and the pics from this are like my fav ever 2010s pics of them so yeah <3#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#we do a little bit of f1#*its so odd i completely remember finishing this and scheduling it last night#*but when i woke up it was only half done??? im still confused#2011 italian gp
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Lesbian
Men DNI
#Im so sleepy it’s time to hug my heart pillow with her face on it as I giggle while thinking about season two#i just wanna hold her and kiss her and hold her . shark gator fist?? lmao#that’s gonna be hard to draw 😭#i hope for her sake that fuckin thing is detachable#it looks heavy#imagine trying to sleep and wanting to roll over but you cant because you have a heavy ass shark arm#how does she put her lil ponytail up????#I miss her old arm#give my lesbian her pink sword back pls#okayy goodnigjt#<3#sevika#arcane
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having prophetic visions of what an oc looks like but lacking the proper ability to draw them
#touchstarved game#i need to get back into art#(has the disease that makes me give up on anything that i'm not immediately good at)#i wanna draw my unnamed mc so badddddd#she comes in flashes. i see her. exactly as she is#she's real
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I have been up for two hours and all I can think about is texting best friend Gaz like dude, fuckin tired. Can't sleep. Weighted blanket missing. SOS.
(just some thoughts bc I'm tired and not used to being awake before 10. 18+ due to a singular comment, but this is self serving fluff)
And Gaz replies, because he always does when it's you.
Be there soon.
You don't even check your phone when it dings, you know he's already on the way.
You try your hardest to try to get yourself back to sleep, but all the blankets and pillows in your house simply don't have the weight to help you relax enough to sleep.
He parks his car next to yours and lets himself in with the spare key you made him (in case of emergencies), and he kicks off his shoes at the door before making his way back to your bedroom.
You were covered in pillows, blankets, and every vaguely soft item you could find.
He snorted. You flipped him off.
He pushed all the pillows and various other items off of you (why the hell did you have a pair of slippers mixed in with all the pillows) and got comfortable, laying his chest across yours.
You sighed happily, finally comfortable enough to fall asleep. He was heavy, warm, and everything about him radiated safety.
"Need me to tell you a bedtime story too?" His chuckle reverberates against your chest and you nod, making him laugh again.
"Alright so, have I told you about the time I fell out of a helicopter?" You can distantly hear his voice as you drift to sleep, a welcome rest after 18 hours of stress.
You wake up at some point later in the day, Gaz's arm wraped around your waist, holding you close. It's comfortable, familiar.
You nudge him.
"Ky... Lemme up, need t' pee." He grumbles, stubbornly pulling you closer against him.
"Kyle, I'll piss on both of us, lemme up." Your threat means little to him. He's been covered in worse and it would just leave you with a mess to clean up.
You sigh.
"Kyle. I can feel your stiffy against my back, lemme up." His eyes snap open and he lets go of you, holding up his hands in surrender while trying to explain the concept of morning wood.
You wave him off, walking to the bathroom.
Single easiest way to make him wake up.
#teddy talks#theo's thoughts#kyle garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader#cod fluff#gaz fluff#listen...I just wanna crawl back in bed rn and curl up with Kyle. Feel like that'd be the best sleep ever#this is basically for an audience of me and me alone#he just seems like the perfect weighted blanket. Not as likely to get handsy as Johnny. Not suffocating like Ghost.#and I love Price but he gives off the vibes that he'd just bring you a weighted blanket#I'm working on 2 smut fics rn but cuddled up Gaz fluff just seemed so appealing. I considered sleepy morning sex with this one but...fluff#hc that Kyle sleeps best when he's around other people so when you're like...come over I can't sleep#he's like FUCK YEAH GOOD SLEEP FOR ME TOO#I don't even mind that this is short and probably ooc... need him to cuddle with me and tell me stories so I can actually sleep
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I am NOT saying the most recent Hunter the Parenting audio log made me crazy…
But me and my friend have been discussing whether Marckus is destined for an awakening (a la: Mage) that D has been desperately trying to stall, or whether D interrupted his Chrysalis (a la; Changeling) and I have been been down a reddit/fandom wiki hole including but not limited to: Neverborn, True Fae of the Dreaming, and Outer Lords and now I look like this:
But congratulations to Kitten and Marckus for becoming the fathers to 2 new terrible trembling attic children! So proud of them!
#hunter the parenting#hunter: the reckoning#htp#htp big d#htp kitten#htp marckus#shut up dismas#but okay WHAT THE FUCK#also i would die for Kitten and also Marckus#especially 12 year old Marckus#just look at that son boy#also me and kit DESPERATELY want Anton to come back as a changeling#like SO BAD#GIVE ME CHANGELING ANTON WARPED BY THE DREAMING#i wanna draw him like… now
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