#i wanna ball my eyes out
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Jegulus as Orpheus and Eurydice!
i feel like crying.
He felt the strong winds from below pull him under. Blowing his curls aside and drying the wetness forming in his eyes.
Why had James turned back? They were so close.
They had been so close, that the sun was peaking through, its bright rays holding out for them, waiting for them to cross the border of life and death so they could be together again. But it was in vain because James stopped in front of the entrance and now Regulus feels himself being pulled under as James' loud laughter twists into cries.
They weren't supposed to end like this. They were supposed to be happy in this life. Regulus had imagined the life they would lead when they finally got out as he trailed behind. They would raise cats and dance in the meadows, James would play his music and Regulus would sing with him, they would live out their days happily married because how could Regulus forget that they had only been married for a few hours? The happiest hours of his life.
And now, as Regulus dies for the second time, he finds he can't utter a complaint against his husband because what was there to complain of? That he had been loved?
#i've been thinking about this all day#i wanna ball my eyes out#THAT QUOTE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#THAT SHE HAD BEEN LOVED???#FUCKING HELLL#marauders era#marauders#regulus black#regulus arcturus black#james potter#james fleamont potter#jegulus#james x regulus#writing#florsial's microfics#starchaser microfic#starchaser#sunseeker#regulus x james#james potter x regulus black#jegulus au#jegulus angst#angst#orpheus and eurydice#mythology au#the marauders era#the marauders#dead gay wizards#dead wizards from the 70s
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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You think if Dazai got murdered during a fight, Chuuya would either decide to use corruption and make it a “double suicide”(technically not really double if one was a murder but you get what I mean) or would he fight tooth and nail to find a way to bring his ass back to life.
I don't know, but I think if Dazai were to die, Chuuya would act completely out of character.
And if he died by suicide—
The thought of being in love with someone who is suicidal seems so fucking horrifying. Like— unless Asagiri decides to be nice to us for once, letting them be together in some way and not scare the hell out of us; as much as I want their dumbasses to get together, the likelihood of it happening is very fucking low.
Just knowing that your partner, the one you’ve been in love with for 7 fucking years, could just straight up leave you for good.
Dazai just left the port mafia, so technically he didn’t actually fully leave Chuuya, he just went out of his sighy for a while.
But actually committing suicide means he has fully left him for good. I can’t imagine how terrifying that’d be. Knowing he could never see him again.
Anyway! Have a good morning/afternoon/night😘
Drink some water and eat food.
if you have an ED, then I wish you well on trying and I know if you keep trying it’ll start to get better❤️
(Sorry, I sometimes get really sentimental in the morning)
#bungou stray dogs#gay shit#Soukoku angst#I can’t stop thinking about this so I wanted to put this out#they make me sad😭#i hate and love them#they make me wanna ball my eyes out#skk#BSD#Dazai Osamu#Chuuya Nakahara
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Did anyone actually have a nice day after watching my own private idaho?
#i BALLED my eyes out at this movie then it tells me to have a nice day ????#i havent watched it for a couple months and i wanna rewatch it again but i have to be in that mood for it#my own private idaho#keanu reeves#river phoenix#keanuverse#ariksly
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i dont feel like putting this on main but do u know that thing people did where they would assign the brothers names they thought they would name their kid or wtv.... i would like to dump here that i think levi would name his daughter either lorelai or hannah HERE ME OUT PLEASE THIS TOOK A LOT OF MENTAL GYMNASTICS,,,,
hannah - derived from ruris last name, hana.
ruri = rori = rory = lorelai
bam. thanks for coming to my ted talk.
#he would call her rori for short and sometimes switches it out for ruri please hes such a girl dad HEAR ME OUT PLEASE :(#tbh all the brothers r girl dads in my eyes. except belphie his ass is NOT having kids bro!!!!#idek even know how to tag this. its technically not writing so i shouldve put this on main but i dont wanna do that...#ok well. we ball.#a letter from yours truly!💌#obey me leviathan#obey me!#obey me shall we date#obey me swd#obey me
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man writing is so silly and fun i cant believe i get to write dust being offered horror paps's human spaghetti while horror is having a grand old time and i DONT have to put in the effort of drawing 😁😁😁😁 this is joy!!
#AND ITS SO EASY TOO BECAUSE I DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING FANCY!!!!#I DONT EVEN WRITE FANCY OR COOL LIKE THE OTHER BETTET WRITERS!!!!#its so easy to pump this out because i can just put myself in the mind of dust or horror and write every little thing they think!!! THATS IT#but man at least i get to make phantom papyrus throw up because oh my GOD#this is for my stupid mtt meets eachother little fic. because i can and i want to#dustttt this is aaaaall your fault smh if only you hadnt pressed that button you wouldnt be here in that situation#im so nervous to get to the killer section but also so excited i wanna make him SO foreboding#dust and horror simply dont fight because of the presence of their papyruses#when they meet killer they IMMEDIATELY fight him. not even a hello is exchanged before he squares up#this whole thing is supposed to explain why and how i think the trio would not only meet but STAY with eachother#i've already got dust's reason down and i know horror's REALLY WELL#(even though you'd expect him to be the hardest to rationalize leaving his AU bc he's got things to do there#but i'll be honest i've got a pretty good reasoning in my eyes for how i think he'd leave his au and stay with dust n killer)#amd then erusghhhh killer's reasoning is..... certainly SOMETHING!! i guess. we ball untik we reach that section#if worse comes to worse i can just liiiike throw canon out of the fucking window and come up with some fanon bullshit#but even though it is DEFINITELY not canon i wanna keep it KINDA canonish#if their personalities aren't canon i can guarantee their dynamic will be. thats all i need to be happy#tricule rant#i love writing. maybe once i get to when dust and horror go to something new i'll post it#and then i can finish killer's after i post it on ao3#this is why i've been quiet all day btw :3 i'm currently horrordust maxxing in this fic#DAY 5 OF THE HORRORDUST STREAK BABY YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
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the journey of gordon juniperus gresley (and still ongoing)
#thomas the tank engine#thomas and friends#ttte gordon#senjart#casa tidmouth#casa tidmouth act 2#my everything. godddd I love him so so much#he's like. objectively the best character in the whole series#also I think he and scott were really close as kids#esp. with only one year age difference and how scott continuously supported him despite their family's situation#(imo their rivalry in tgr was one sided from gordon's part. scott's just balling while gordon still wants to overpass him)#like ok. I know this is a post about gordon but I think scott needs some appreciation with how he prioritizes his brother over himself#bro's probably emotionally devastated too with losing his siblings and father. but he still has his little brother#gordon probably felt like he owes scott a lot. but he's bad at words (ALL gresleys are) and he has his own set of problems SOOOOOO#and gordon. even though he lost so many people in his life he still keeps on going. he never gives up because-#-despite how much he complaints and boasts about himself he firmly believes that things will eventually turn out okay for him#aggresive optimist. something like that? you get what I'm trying to say#like a coworker would say ''this is hopeless'' and gordon would just say ''you're being ridiculous''#anyways enough of me talking. I wanna draw scott's and gordon's railway show designs BUT WHEN? LET'S SEE#(crying at little gordon. it shows from his eyes that he has no idea what's about to happen to him)
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if you look really closely, you can see me sobbing and throwing up in the background
#i totally didn't want to ball my eyes out the moment i learned he was the last one (very obvious lie)#i wanna give him a hug 😞#have a nice death#bones talks#queue
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friend forcing me to watch dragon ball still dont know much but i needed to make king kai even more bug. forgot to outline the funny circle and put in the lines onthe yellow but its ok. smiles
#SNJKDSMGD#dragon ball z#king kai#dbz king kai#i love insects and bugs and bugs and insects an#its like 2am im too tired for real drawing this is like half drawn over a renderill be real with you😭😭 its not exact but like.#you know what i mean right#ididnt wanna try and get the curves on the outfit right when i am seeing things out of the corner of my eyes and shaking like a wet dog#anyways
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If someone could just……yoink the daddy issues from me and make it so much less painful when I hear about him, that would be so awesome.
#how did I go from h*rny to fucking balling my eyes out#I#just let me vent and I’ll delete it soon#I WANNA CLARIFY THE GC WAS BEING NASTY LITTLE FREAKS AND THEN I GOT HIT WITH FUCK ASS NEWS
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i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it
#i feel like it’s getting worse too#like its always hasn’t been great but the past few weeks have been especially bad#why can’t i remember things!! why is my short term memory sucking ass!!!!!!#like if i don’t write/type things down i loose it#making me wanna rip my hair out what the fuck is going on!!!!!#gonna start playing those phone games that improve memory or whatever#it’s either that or going to my mom for an essential oil recommendation#i know it’s probably some undiagnosed shit but im also like. i can’t keep blaming whatever is wrong with my brain because its a problem with#/me/. ya know?? like. yeah it is something with my brain. obviously. but i need to take some sort of action to fix it. and i dont know what#that action is#besides the two options i said before#or carrying a fucking notebook around and writing down everything. which is stupid also and i know won’t last a week#problem is im gonna forget about any rule i come up with since as soon as im preoccupied with something else. i’ll forget the rule#i would need a hat with the reminder on paper tapped to the hat#so it’s always dangling in front of my eyes#i don’t know what else to do at this point!!!!#it’s making me so worried about going away for college. cause yeah i did really well at community. but if i have the deteriorating memory#of a goldfish who’s constantly banging its head against the glass. how am i gonna make it through university.#i love writing essays in the tags that no one will read <3#having a ball rn. a great time. not feeling like a waste of resources at all rn. feeling great.#if my mom doesn’t let me wear my earbuds tomorrow i think ill scream#anyways. gonna bake some blueberry lemon sweet rolls tomorrow#me rambling#i love being undiagnosed#but let’s be real#being diagnosed won’t give me anything other than more of an excuse#because i can’t go on meds with my current living situation#and i also don’t really want to go on meds because i don’t trust them#feeling silly i think ill actually post this one maybe someone has a suggestion for what to do#vent
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Idk what happened but I blinked and watched mha in its entirety (movies included) in the span of a week, maybe less.
#I swear I have a life and a job I don’t know what happened#and like. I have NEVER cried when watching mha (maybe) but this time around? I’m BAWLING my eyes out??#I love them sm I wanna squish them like. like a stress ball.#off work 🦈
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The most frustrating thing about period pieces is that when it tries to depict issues in that period there will always be a portion of people who'll go "damn that's problematic" like... it makes me wanna rip my hair out
#this is about blue eye samurai btw#i saw someone call seki a misogynist because he told akemi women only have two paths in their world#HE LITERALLY IS CORRECT#WOW IN A SETTING WHERE WOMEN ARE OBJECTS THE GUY WHO POINTS THIS OUT IS SEXIST. GREAT FUCKING TAKE#it makes me wanna rip my eye balls out#insane ramblings#media literacy is dead and we killed it
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Watching the last Free! movie has completely demolished me
#personal*#jess talks#I’ve been in my Mineyo/Rin feels recently#and remembered I hadn’t watched the last movie cus I couldn’t find it anywhere!!#then this morning I just looked for the hell of it and found it!!!#you know you love something when you’re sat grinning the ENTIRE 2 hours lmao#but I was also balling my eyes out#cus I fuckin love those boys sm😭#my Rin plush got a bit soggy too but it’s fine#he’s a swimmer he’s used to it#I’m just wkwbsiwnxukf#a perfect ending#now I wanna do so much for Mineyo!!#might work on her timeline next tbh#and daydream like CRAZY#helped that I had a dream about Rin last night lmao#he is my baby boy and I love his so. fuckin. much.#I’ll just be over here - fighting the urge to binge the whole show again in chronological order
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I might just be having an episode, but I’m currently figuring out the tattoos I want, and the placements >:3
#who needs therapy when you can finally figure out how you wanna ink your body??#okay.. so… here’s what I’m thinking#I still want Eddie Munson’s bat tattoo on my left arm#that’s a given#symmetrical soul eater moons on both sides of my collarbone#like… I can’t explain the area well but like.. underneath the bone and towards my shoulder?#idk if I’m explaining that right hgyjhhkuhkj#I want asura’s eyes in the middle of my collarbone#(yes ive hears how painful chest tats are. do I care? I might. but I don’t :3 )#**heard#let’s see… I know I want a death the kid skull somewhere. I’ve considered it behind my ear but ehhhhhhhh idk on that one yet#hear me out… Midas from fortnite has this one tattoo of a skull with flowers and horns#HEAR ME OUT…. I ALSO want an unus annus tattoo on my left wrist….#of the countdown timer saying 00:00:00….#……what if I combined the two and put the zeros on the skull’s head and replaced the roses with lilies ??? 👀👀👀#…I need to draw that hold on—#anyways#Spyro tattoo. I found art of a super cute ps1 styled Spyro head w sparx and if I ever have the balls to get it I’m gonna dm the artist#and ask if I can get it done#here’s the thing tho.. I don’t want colored tattoos.. and the Spyro ones are obviously colored… I’ll cross that bridge as I get closer—#I wanna get a matching one with Taty but we don’t know what we want yet#and about the symmetrical moons… I don’t want that ugly ass sun on my body jygjhbhjb#so…. two moons :3#n e ways#that’s all I got so far. mwah
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So my multi fandom brain always likes to find connections with one media to another. With the Bad Batch I particularly like to connect it with Red Dead since they share similar vibes (I mean Star Wars is literally a space western when you think about it).
Specifically I like to compare character archetypes, and after tonight’s episode I realized:
Crosshair is very much like Arthur Morgan.
At first I thought this would be Hunter, but this honestly felt out of place. Sure, they share similarities but Arthur is a very complex guy morally. Game mechanics aside, Arthur commits some pretty questionable things until later on in the story where he realizes just how bad the things Dutch is forcing him to do.
And this ties in so much with what Crosshair is going through! He stays loyal to the empire because it is literally all he knows. As he sees how their actions not only affect the people around him, he sees how it leads to the death of his own kind — other clones. Similar to how Dutch’s actions led to the fall of the gang one by one.
Hell, towards the end both Arthur and Crosshair have a moment where they plea to the authority figure to do something good, TO LITERALLY SAVE A LIFE, only for them to be ignored. This forces them to betray said authority to stand up for what really matters.
Also can we talk about the animal symbolism? Literally gave me flashbacks to when Arthur got his TB diagnosis.
All in all, I’ve been thinking about which bad batch characters would correspond to red dead characters, and I’m glad to say Crosshair earned the coveted Arthur Morgan slot in my book.
Now somebody go make a Crosshair edit using the song Unshaken it’ll be amazing.
#Crosshair is my new fav#not this episode giving me flashbacks to rdr2#I don’t wanna ball my eyes out like that#crosshair#arthur morgan#crosshair the bad batch#tbb crosshair#rdr2#arthur morgan rdr2#the bad batch
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