#i used to use it a lot to make videos with my my little ponies

[3moe5me]

I found my nan's old camcorder. what should I FILM?🤨

[twerkyvulture]

im the guy who just realized that when you're doing something, it eases the pain of not doing everything

[moomeecore]

damn. there was an immediate response saying that this has been a feature for a while - im so so glad i was able to delay the update as long as i did lol. here's hoping that they will change it back. im relizing now that ive totally heard ppl talking abt thisbefore but wasn't sure what they were reffering too!

did you know you can send feedback at https://www.tumblr.com/support ? i just learned that from this comment section (probably because i am generally a mobile only user LOL). sounds like they aren't being very helpful over there but idk. maybe if enough people complain they'll listen just a little bit lol

help what's with 99% of the time tumblr sends u to the top of a person's blog after clicking on their name on a post instead of to where the post was. this has rendered the site upwards of 20% less usable for me. i didn't even give tumblr permission to update my app!! SOBBING. i hope they fix this. if its on purpose ill riot

[clovers-housetree]

Activities for Regressors Without Caregivers! (or just fun regression activties!)

(Although you're always welcome here if you'd like any form of comfort anyway! ^w^)

This one's kind of a long one, after the few tips I list, I've mentioned an app I use called Finch, which will be talked about below the cut.

Since that's the case, I'll put my little ending message here instead:

Knowing how to take care of yourself can take a lot of work and practice, but I believe it's worth the effort, because then you'll be a happier and healthier you! Especially if you can find ways to make it fun!

I'm more than happy to be here for you and offer my support in any way I can, anyhow! I'm proud of you for doing what you can, I know it can be very hard.

I myself don't have a caregiver for when I regress, so most of the time I end up taking care of myself! Here are some fun activities and things I do when I regress to keep myself calm and happy! ^w^

Paci mentions/pics not long after the first section for those of you who'd rather not see 'em.

♥ Arts and crafts! I absolutely LOVE coloring and making bracelets with beads, something not too complicated for little hands, but also something fun!

With coloring, you can buy coloring books, or draw something of your own to color in- even printing out a page you find online, coloring digitally, or tracing over something to color in could work! I prefer coloring more than drawing personally because I don't draw all the time, but I bet I could learn a little thing or two from the artists around here!

For bracelets (and other jewelry), strings can be hard to knot with little hands (at least they aren't those small, slippery clasps!!), but the beads shouldn't be too hard to handle if you're careful! Even just planning out patterns is fun!

Here are some My Little Pony bracelets I made, and the decorations I did for my pacis!

♥ Making playlists! Dancing is fun, and a good way to get the zoomies out, but you can just make playlists for any occasion! I have playlists that help me pet-regress, songs with sounds I like, adventure playlists... (Well- a lot of these are still in progress, but- you get the point!)

I also love those playlist videos on YouTube! Animal Crossing, Super Mario Galaxy, Minecraft and music box music are typically my go-to to help me settle or just make for comfy background music! Here's one of my favorites, shadowatnoon has lovely Nintendo music mixes!

♥ Playing with your plushies! You can take them on adventures, or make your own!

Like Toby, climbing The Great Pillow Mountain!

(This is Toby by the way, he's one of my best friends and a VERY good hugger!)

You can play games with them, too! Toby's REALLY good at hide and seek... Maybe you can find him for me? :0

♥ Finding shows to watch! I really like Paw Patrol and Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at the moment. Plus, you can look at agere content and fics from shows you like! People make really cool stimboards and moodboards, for example, and I like reading through all the fun stories people write!

Here's a silly picture of Rocky I found! :3

Finch

Finch is a self-care app where you take care of your very own little bird friend by taking care of yourself!

You can set daily goals, or for each day (or more specific ones as well I think.). By completing these goals, you give your bird energy to go on adventures! They usually come back with a funny little story or silly questions, because they're learning, too!

Through completing these goals (or daily, at least), you can get Rainbow Stones, which you can use to buy clothes for your bird, make them different colors, or give them furniture for their house!

They're also LGBTQ+ and disability-friendly!! :3

This is my little bird, Honeydew! You're welcome to friend me as well if you'd like, my code is: Z3E2T7VRK6

It's helped me learn a lot about taking care of myself and keeping track of my goals, and I get little rewards for it! I've used the app for several months now, and it's helped me out a lot!

"Fluttershy protects this blog! SFW interaction only, please and thank you! ^w^"

"Wouldn't show a kid? Doesn't belong here!"

[samkerrworshipper]

let me love you | Leah Williamson x Reader

a lot of angst, ending in fluff, themes of eating disorders, depression and alcohol abuse, 5900 words

please keep sending request yall i need something to feed my brainnn

i’m stuck on a blurb for this so basically just what happens after a rough moment in r and leah’s relationship, can they fix it? can they learn to love each other again? the photo i’ve used says it all lol

it’s piecy and i think u can see my sleep deprivation in this one but hope you enjoy!

I’d known going into camp that I was in trouble. That as soon as the team doctor did our pre camp exam that I was going to be fucked. With the extensive weight loss I knew that it was only a matter of time before I was approached but I hadn’t expected it to be the first night.

I’d been lying in my bed, in my room by myself. I was rooming with Keira this camp, but luckily enough she spent most of her time in Lucy or Leah’s room so I didn’t see much of her. I’d had the tv playing in the background, to fill the room with something other than the sound of my breathing and the sound of me scrolling through my phone. Then my little bubble, my perfect barrier that I’d created was broken by the resounding noise of someone knocking at my door.

“Y/n, it’s me.”

Sarina. Fuck.

“It’s open.”

It was probably the polite thing to get up and open the door but I was comfortable in my bed and while Sarina was terrifying I couldn’t see her getting mad at me over something so minor. The door cracked open and I switched the tv off out of respect for the manager who had closed my hotel room door behind her. Her face was unsteady, like she was unsure how to approach the conversation, something that I’d never seen on her.

“You missed dinner.”

“I feel asleep, the jetlag has tossed me around a little bit. I didn’t even realise until I woke up twenty minutes ago.”

It wasn’t a lie, I had travelled an obscene amount in the past twenty four hours. I’d flown from Cabo to New York, then spent 20 hours in New York with Kristie and some of the Gotham girls before getting on a plane to take me to Barcelona, where I’d spent a very short eight hours with Keira and Lucy before we got on a plane to London to bring us to camp. It had been hectic to say the least and had resulted in one of my suitcases being lost and me being in a very lengthy back and forth discussion with British Airways about how my luggage had ended up in Austria and that no, I didn’t have the time to go to Austria to retrieve it.

“I think we need to have a talk.”

Sarina’s foot was tapping nervously at her side, it was her tell, she was about to have a hard conversation that was not going to be easy to go over.

“Okay.”

She nodded at me.

“Meeting room 2, five minutes?”

I gulped, fuck, a meeting room. It had gone from informal to a little bit to formal for my liking. I nodded regardless, too scared to reply in any other way.

“Yes Ma’am.”

As soon as Sarina had left my room I was throwing myself out of the bed to throw on some proper clothes and make myself look a little bit more presentable. I threw on my light blue tech fleece and puffer jacket that we all had and then very haphazardly threw my hair into a greasy high pony. I pushed some mascara through my eyelashes and some moisturiser on my skin before coming to the conclusion that no amount of makeup was going to be able to disguise the purple bags under my eyes. Once I was done making myself look a little bit less dead I picked up my phone and keycard from my bedside table and left the room, making my way down the hallway towards the meeting rooms.

The meeting rooms had a multitude of purposes, zoom calls, skypes, video review, contract signing. Business stuff mainly, not a talk with your coach. That was what had me trembling a little bit as I made my way closer to the meeting rooms. When I got to the door of the second one, the one I’d been told to go to I waited outside of it for a few seconds before lifting my fist and knocking twice on the door. I didn’t have to wait long for a reply, Sarina was at the door opening it for me in a matter of seconds. I stepped into the room quickly, my eyes recognising all the faces in the room.

I was directed to a seat at the table, sitting directly across from Sarina, Leah, Millie and our team doctor. Lucy and Keira were seated on either side of me and the whole vibe of the room was enough to tell me that I was royally fucked.

“We are all here to have an open conversation about your recent medical exam.”

I kept my eyes on my own hands, which were resting on the table, playing with the rings that adorned my hands. I couldn’t look up, couldn’t bear to look into the eyes of a woman who a few weeks ago I had loved so intensely and now couldn’t even think about without crying.

“You're here to tell me that I’ve dropped a dangerous amount of weight considering my normal weight class, that I should get some further tests done even though we know that there is nothing medically wrong with me. We’ll beat around the bush a little bit, try to ignore the fact that we all know that you can’t allow me to play when I’ve dropped this much weight and then you’ll send me home.”

Sarina’s jaw was set firmly, I could make out that much as my eyes darted up to the older woman quickly to catch a look at her facial expression.

“Do you want to die Ms y/l/n.”

I was taken aback massively by the question, because who asks a person that question, especially in this context.

“I don’t feel comfortable having this conversation with certain people in the room. I don’t want to die necessarily but living right now isn’t exactly ideal either. I’ve had a rough couple of weeks, I’ll admit that, I’m aware. I’ve neglected my body, prioritised other things. I knew walking in here that I’d dropped 2 stone and I wasn’t proud of it. I just went through an intense break up though, I’ve been in Cabo for three weeks, most of which I don’t remember. I know that it’s bad, I know that as an athlete we have expectations but I need some wiggle room, I need you to give me a shot to make this better. Because I honestly believe that in this environment I can fix it, I’ll get the weight back, I’ll get back into therapy or whatever. I’ll give up the bad habits, I just need a period of grace.”

I couldn’t look at Leah, couldn’t let myself out of fear that my brave face would fall and I’d be left in shambles sitting here. I just needed to convince Sarina that I could get my shit together.

She was in front of my brooding for a few minutes, leaving everyone in the room in an awkward silence.

“Everyone out besides Leah and you.”

Fuck.

I watched as everyone else slowly got up, Lucy giving me a reassuring pat on the back before exiting the room.

“I’m giving you both five minutes to explain what the fuck happened between you two, because as much as you both want to make it sound like nothing it isn’t. Everyone can feel it and obviously it's affecting the both of you.”

I still couldn’t look at her, it just hurt.

“Seems like I’m the only one who’s suffering.”

“That’s not true nor fair y/n. Leah’s having her own struggles.”

I snorted and rolled my eyes at the table.

“She’s the one who caused the problems in the first place so I’d call that karma.”

The tension in the room was thick, like a cloud laid over us.

“That’s not fair, you had a part in it as well.”

“I had a part in you kissing Jordan at a party?”

“Jordan kissed me first off, drunkenly, she apologised profusely to both of us when she was sober. You soberly made the decision to kiss fucking Alexia.”

If the tension could have thickened anymore, it did.

“You cheated on me with your ex, I think I can cheat on you with my ex situation.”

“Do you realised how fucked up that whole ideology is? I didn’t want to cheat on you, anyone who was there that night will tell you that I physically pushed Jordan off of me, I didn’t want it to happen. I know it hurts you, but you wouldn’t even hear me out, you didn’t answer my calls or texts. I didn’t know where you went, just heard from Lucy that you’d decided to go abroad for a few weeks and you were turning your phone off. I spent 3 days sitting in Keira’s apartment balling my eyes out because I missed you so much, I haven’t slept properly ever since, I can’t fucking live without you y/n/n.”

Leah was sobbing and it hurt a part of me that I didn’t know existed. I wanted to hug her, wipe the tears from her face and apologise for my stupidity, to make it all better. But I was stubborn as shit and I also hadn’t really forgiven Leah. I hadn’t forgiven myself either.

That night had been the worst one of my life. Seeing Leah making out with Jordan had broken my heart and before I knew it I’d been running out of the bar we’d been celebrating in and calling Ale because she was my person and then she was picking me up and taking me back to my apartment and she was comforting me on our sofa and then we were kissing and Leah was walking in, mascara smeared and tears down her face and then Ale was running out of the apartment. I ended up waiting for Leah to fall asleep before I’d fled. I’d been terrified, my fear response was flight, when I was scared I fled, so that was what I’d done on that godforsaken night.

“I don’t really give a shit who did what. You both fucked up, that’s evident. We have the olympic coming up, Leah you are coming off of an ACL injury and you are going to be our captain, y/n, we need you on top of your game for us to win. I won’t deal with this team being torn into shreds because the both of you are too stubborn to talk about your feelings. Am I understood?”

Both Leah and I nodded meekly at Sarina, the both of us equally terrified of the dutchwoman and the tone of voice she was using towards us, like we were six year olds.

“Y/n, I’ll give you a grace period, two weeks. You’ve got two weeks to show that you can make some improvement in your habits, but there will be conditions if you wish to continue training and playing during those two weeks. You will eat every single meal, with the rest of the team. You aren’t going to work out beyond our team scheduled gym sessions. You will go back to talking to a therapist on a weekly basis. You are going to socialise with your teammates instead of holding yourself up in your room by yourself. You and Leah will room together until you can prove to me that you can be civil. If any of these conditions are broken you will find yourself sidelined, am I understood?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Sarina nodded at me, her blue eyes staring intensely into my own, I was trying to get away from this situation, away from the confrontation that was only bound to get worse the longer Leah and I were stuck in a room together.

“You are free to go, I expect to see you at breakfast tomorrow morning.”

I’d given Sarina a quick nod before bolting out of my seat and straight out of the room. I was pretty sure I’d had the worst 96 hours of my life. My whole body felt like it was on fire, my hair and face were still greasy from all of the airplane travel and my eyes just hurt. I half jogged my way back to my room, slamming and locking the door behind me almost as soon as I’d closed the door behind me. I slowly slid down against the solid wood, this whole situation was so fucked.

Not only did I have to focus on being fucking civil with a woman who I hated, I had to fucking turn my whole life around in a matter of two weeks, which right now seemed pretty fucking impossible. I wasn’t a person who cried very often, I wasn’t in touch with my emotions like that. But right now, fat, warm, wet tears were dripping down my face and my lip was wobbling between my two front teeth trying to suppress the sobs that were coming up from my throat. Love hurt. Loving someone and being loved is one of the hardest things that I’d ever done, because it’s not easy to spend every day loving a person, it fulfilling but it also is so fucking painful.

I could hardly make up the energy to get off the floor, so I didn’t. I sat against the door, crying, shaking and trembling as I let out the feelings that I’d built up for the last month. I was a person who didn’t cry very often, when I was drunk, when someone died, when I was really hurt. That was the extent of my emotional release. Leah was similar, that’s why we’d hit it off, neither of us were over emotional, we didn’t read into things and we didn’t over complicate anything. At the end of the day neither of us had to worry about the other one getting offended by a joke or drunken words. I’d honestly believed we were soulmates, for a long time, but that night had wrecked it all.

Both of us had been stupid, it had been the celebratory night of our win in the Nations League, we’d beaten Spain, it was a big deal. Everyone was completely wasted and I didn’t remember much of the night until Leah had been on the dance floor with Jordan, Chloe, Millie, Rachel and some other teammates and one moment Leah is motioning for me to join me and the next Jordan is making out with her and I’m running out with Lucy following me. Then Lucy called Ale because I’d locked myself in our hotel room ensuite. Then Ale was there and she was comforting me and hugging me and I was pissed off at Leah and then I was kissing Ale and she was telling me no and the Leah walked in to comfort me and it was just a fucking mess of alcohol and emotions.

Just thinking about that night had hurt, I hadn’t let myself in the last month. Not when I’d been in Cabo drinking all day and night, clubbing and partying and spending all of my spare time trying to push my emotions away. Then I’d gotten the call from Sarina, I’d been expecting it but it had still shocked me for some reason. In a matter of 24 hours I’d been packing up all my shit and hopping on a plane back to the one place that I couldn’t have been more desperate to avoid. I’d contemplated turning down the call up, but a call from my agent had told me that I couldn’t expect an invite back if I turned one down now. The Olympics was a big deal as well, it was something that I did want to do but the overwhelming anxiety I had felt being faced with the reality that I was walking into a group of people that worshipped the ground that my ex girlfriend walked on.

My thought pattern was interrupted by the sound of knocking directly above my head. The sound pulsated against the wood and across my body, seeping deep into my bones. It was a resounding knock, loud, echoing across the room.

“Y/n, open up.”

It was the voice that I least wanted to hear at that moment and I tried my hardest to ignore it but the sound of the knocking repeating made it harder.

“Y/n/n, c’mon, open the door, I know you're in there.”

It was the nickname that only she called me, a nickname I hadn’t heard in a month and it hurt my soul hearing it. It made fresher tears fall from my eyes that I rubbed at furiously with the sleeve of my jumper. I wiped as much of the smudged mascara and tears from my face, I knew subconsciously that my eyes were red and puffy and Leah would one hundred percent be able to tell. For my dignity though I rubbed it all from my face before standing up and opened the door.

Before I could say anything Leah had slipped past me and into the room, making herself at home and sitting down on Keira’s bed, resting herself at the very top so she was leaning against the headboard. I pushed down any thoughts that I had about Leah being in the same position in our own bed, except with a lot less clothes covering her body.

“You’ve been crying.”

It wasn’t a question, a statement, but it held a question in it somewhere. Leah wasn’t used to me crying, so the fact that I was crying was probably a little bit of a shock to her.

“What do you want?”

Leah pouted at me, sarcastically, it pissed me off how confident she was when I felt like I was tearing at the seams.

“In case you didn’t remember, we’re roomies now. I wanted to talk, I think we both have stuff we need to get off of our chests. I love you y/n/n and I’m worried about you.”

“Go worry about Jordan.”

I was leaning against the dresser, trying my hardest to keep my shit together in front of the woman that was making me feel so many things that I had been denying myself for a month.

“That’s fair, but also not necessary. I didn’t kiss her y/n, I didn’t even get as close as a metre’s distance from her, anyone there could tell you that. I pushed her off me. So yes, she kissed me, without my consent or my desire for her to do so. I love you, not her. I promise you that. She means nothing to me beyond being my friend, I don’t love her.”

I didn’t really know what to say. Leah wasn’t really the root of my anger, because I knew that it had been Jordan all over Leah, and at the end of the day she’d come to my room that night to apologise instead of going back to Jordan’s, I was her priority.

“She loves you, and I can’t do anything about that. That hurts and I know that it shouldn’t, I have no right to be jealous but it hurts.”

Leah looked contemplatively at me, like she was trying to understand what I was saying but knew that she couldn’t really.

“Do you love Alexia?”

I gulped, that was a fucked up question that I didn’t have a answer for. My immediate silence gave enough context to that.

“That’s not a fair question.”

I was deflecting and also furiously toying with a loose thread on the edge of my jumper.

“I think I deserve to know if the woman I love loves me the same way.”

It was hard hearing those words come out of her mouth as well.

“I would be lying if I said I didn’t love her. I dated her for six years, I thought I was going to marry her. I don’t love her like I loved you. We broke up because we couldn’t love each other that way. It was a surface relationship, but we both knew at the end of the day that we couldn’t get married or have kids or get old together, we didn’t love each other like that. We didn’t have a messy break up, I didn’t have a phase where I hated her and I wanted nothing more than to be away from her. We just stopped physically loving each other. She’s still my person Leah, you know that. I regret kissing her, I was so drunk and I was so fucking upset and she was so familiar to me in that moment. So maybe I do love her, in some fucked up way, but I don’t love her long term. She’s not the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life loving, not the person that I want to wake up next to, not the person that I want to write vows for, not the person that I want to be with every minute of every day. I don’t yearn for her.”

I realised now that there were tears in Leah’s eyes, which shocked me a little. Leah never cried, I could count the amount of times I’d seen her properly sob on one hand. Four times. When we won the Euros, when she did her ACL, when she woke up from ACL surgery and that night when it had all happened. Apart from that she was a brick wall, she wore a facade everyday, that very little people got to see broken down. I considered myself very grateful to have been able to see past it, to see the side of Leah that not a lot did. She’d let a stray tear go every once in a while, but proper crying, proper emotional, vulnerable crying was very rare to see.

“Do you love me long term?”

“Leah, that's not a fair question either.”

Tears were running down Leah’s face, similar to the tears that had been falling down my face less than five minutes ago.

“It's not fair? I’ve been here for the last month y/n, wondering if we still stand a chance. Wondering if you still love me, wondering if I should wait around for you? I want to know if you still love me as much as I love you.”

I could feel more tears coming to my eyes, Leah was sitting not even three metres away from me and yet it felt like we were oceans apart.

“I don’t know. Does it really matter?”

Leah was wiping at her face, she detested vulnerability and it was clear in her actions.

“Does it matter? Y/n/n, I am trying to figure out if I am going to spend the rest of my life fucking mourning losing the love of my life. I want to know if I stand a chance, if there is something here that we can salvage, something here that we can try and fix. I will spend everyday making it up to you if I have to, anything you need us to do I am down to do it.”

I shifted from toe to toe in my spot standing, Leah’s words were so genuine, they had so much power over me, sent shivers down my whole body.

“I love you. I love you enough though to tell you that I’m a fucking wreck, some of it’s because of this, some of it is just me. Leah I’m trying to fucking sort myself out now and I love you but I’m not going to tell you that your my priority right now, I love you but I also am trying to learn how to love myself and I’m also trying to learn how to love my sport again.”

Leah pursed her lips, wiping the last of her emotional admission tears from her face. She looked so raw, her blonde hair was thrown up in a messy high bun, an unusual look for her, her face was stripped bare of any makeup and her jumper looked a tad bit too big on her. She looked stripped, stripped of her dignity, stripped of her facade, stripped of everything that made her Leah motherfucking Williamson. I wasn’t looking at England’s captain, I wasn’t looking at Arsenal and England’s world class defenders. I was looking at just Leah. The Leah who would wake me up with forehead kisses every morning, the Leah who would give me foot massages after a rough training, the Leah who would only look at me in a room full of people.

“I’ve worried about you so much that I started to get scared I was praying. You took off and I didn’t know with who or where. I mean I know that I fucked up but y/n/n, we could have talked it out, or we could have tried to. You fled and you didn’t even give me a goodbye. I didn’t know if we were done or if I was ever going to see you again and it fucking broke me. I stayed in bed for a week, I didn’t eat, I didn’t leave. Keira and Lucy literally had to drag me out of bed to get me to do anything. I cried, non stop for a week, it was horrible and I felt like shit. Then Lucy got Alexia to come over and we talked it out and she told me that she didn’t mean for it to happen and all she wanted was for us to be happy and it broke me because how am I supposed to be happy when the woman I love is nowhere to be seen.”

A sob echoed from her chest and it broke my heart, because I hated seeing Leah in pain, I hated seeing her hurt. When she’d done her ACL it had been the most gut wrenching thing I’d had to witness. The only difference was that now I was the source of pain and it hurt ten times more.

I pushed myself off of the dresser and towards the bed. Leah’s head was buried in her hands, her elbows resting on her knees as her palms rubbed furiously at her eyes. I sat down onto the bed and pushed myself up against the headboard beside her, putting one of my arms down on her shoulders and gently nudging her head into my neck. It was uncharted territory but also felt so familiar and right. Hearing Leah’s sobs hurt my soul, but my contact seemed to calm her a little bit. She flinched away initially, unsure but then she was seeking it out, leaving into me and everything about it felt right.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry for what happened with Jordan, I’m sorry if I didn’t make you feel loved, I’m sorry if I didn’t treat you well enough, I’m sorry if I’m not good enough. I’m trying to work on it, I’m trying to be better,” I stopped Leah before she could say much more.

“It’s not your fault Leah,” My voice came out with exasperation, because I hated that Leah felt that way,

“You made me feel loved everyday, you treated me perfectly. You are perfect Leah, you were a perfect girlfriend, a perfect captain, a perfect person. We had our moments but you are a good person, you don’t need to be better. I’m the one who can’t fucking handle herself, who had to flee the country when it got rough and I’m sorry for that, I’m sorry that I ran when it got hard.”

Hearing Leah hiccup on her breath was so painful for me, painful enough that I reached my hand down to her face to try and wipe some of the tears off of her cheeks.

“C’mon, you're too pretty to be crying.”

It was a weak compliment that died with the mood of the room, Leah let out a depressing laugh that honestly just made it all worse but her sobs did quieten down a little bit and I noticed that the tremors that were haunting her whole body had slowed down and had become less of a repetitive pattern.

“You haven’t been eating, you lost two stones, did I do that to you?”

Leah’s voice was so shaky, so insanely innate for her.

“Me not eating has nothing to do with you and I won’t have you taking the blame for it. Not everything is your fault Leah and you don’t have to take the blame for it all. I know how your brain works, that you are going to take the blame for everything that has happened between us, but it’s not your fault, a lot of it is mine, my eating habits though have nothing to do with you.”

My voice was a mixture of steady and stern, I had a point to get across and I needed Leah to understand that, I needed her to know that. She wasn’t as fearless and brave as she constantly tried to prove to anyone, she was always the first to blame herself for anything, always getting down on herself and I knew that, I knew that Leah could send herself into a downward spiral.

She pulled her head out of my shoulder and locked eyes with me, her dark brown eyes felt like they were violating me, I felt like I was naked under her gaze, like I was so incredibly vulnerable.

“Why haven’t you been eating?”

I felt like I was under a magnifying glass, like Leah could see every single part of me and could see into my brain. She always worried about me, always. To the point where sometimes it was concerning, I had as much as a sniffle and she was doting over me like my mother.

“I’m fine Lee.”

“If you were fine you wouldn’t have lost two stones.”

She could read me too easily and she knew that I was pretty much putty in her hands as soon as she started talking.

“It got dark for me when I left, I needed to leave but then I was gone and I realised that I was so alone and I was partying to try and avoid my feelings and it worked but you know how I am when I’m depressed, I stop eating, I stop functioning. I lived off of alcohol for three weeks and then I got the call from Sarina and for the first time in three weeks I was completely sober and it hit me like a freight train. I realised how bad it had gotten and I was in shambles.”

Leah nodded at me, she knew how I worked, knew that when I was starting to spiral I tended to push it all down until it got so bad that I had a nervous breakdown.

“You need to eat, we need you playing, I need you on the field. It broke my heart when Sarina came and told me, when she asked me if I’d seen any of the warning signs or if I’d noticed and I couldn’t give her an answer.”

I brought my hand back up to rest on Leah’s face, she was still shaking, still hiccuping with every word that she said. I pushed the tears that were pooling on her face away with the pad of my thumb.

“I couldn’t even tell her anything.”

Leah’s words were thrown out between choken sobs and hiccups, it was so strung out and painful that I felt it in my chest.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through that, I’m sorry I deserted you. I’m so sorry I hurt you Lee, you deserve better, you deserve someone who has their shit together.”

Leah pulled herself out from beside me and scooted herself so she was sitting in front of me, between my legs looking at me directly.

“I want you though, I want to love you and I want you to let me.”

I couldn’t do much more than look at her, look at her eyes, look at how heartbroken they were. They were full of so much pain, so many sleepless nights and a part of me wanted to fix some of that.

“Let us be happy, let all of this devastation come to an end and just let us be happy. We’ll work through what happened, we can try therapy, or something else. I want you though y/n/n, I want you forever and I don’t want us to give up on that because of some stupid shit that happened when we were drunk.”

Those fucking eyes, they held the sun and the moon, they had the power to make me do anything.

“I want to try, for us. I still think that you are my forever Leah. I just don’t want either of us to get hurt in the process.”

“Love hurts, we work through it. Please just try it for me.”

Her lip was wobbling in between her teeth and it took every single piece of self control I had to not take that lip in my own and just kiss the woman like I wanted to.

“Okay.”

Leah’s face lit up almost immediately, like a kid in a candy store. She leant in towards me, her lips hovering centimetres away from my own and her eyes looking into my own and it took literally every piece of my self control not to initiate anything.

“Is this okay?”

Leah’s voice was calmer this time, less rough on the edges, less broken. I nodded eagerly at her and relaxed into her body as she pressed her lips to mine. It was soft, tender, relaxing, so perfect.

“How about this?”

It was murmured against my lips, a small smirk forming along Leah’s lips.

“So good, but I think we are both overdue for some sleep.”

Leah frowned against my lips but nodded, we were both tired and it was obvious in our actions. She plopped herself down next to me, relaxing into my body and laying her head against my chest.

“Flick the lamp of love.”

The term of endearment sent a shiver down my back, it was so normal and yet so shocking to me. I obeyed her immediately, turning over to the bedside lamp and flicking it off so we were left in the dark. I shrugged my jacket off before relaxing down into the pillow. Leah shifted around for a few seconds, finding a comfortable spot on my body before stilling herself. She looked so small curled up against me, I tugged her hair out of its bun and rubbed her roots just the way I knew she liked me too and rubbed her back the way I knew sent her straight to sleep. It probably took not even a minute before Leah’s body relaxed fully and her breaths evened out and when they did I smiled a little bit looking at her exhausted form. I leant down and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before relaxing myself fully against the pillows and preparing myself for my own sleep.

“I love you Leah, always.”

[bugsinapocket]

Hello there! I’d like to introduce you to my newest project:

My Little Hermit!

Two of my hyper-fixations decided to merge and create this cute little AU! Mostly based off of season 10 and the hermits personalities- I wanted to give a shot at creating pony designs for them.

More information and singular reference sheets below the cut!

First up we have Joel!

Joel is a Changeling; I’ve always seen him as a bug and I like to change his Shrek ears into antenna! Changelings are the bugs of the MLP universe, so I thought it it. I decided to make him reformed because of the colour palette. I’ve always seen Joel as somebody with a very vibrant and bright personality; and he tends to use eye-catching colours in many of his builds. Vibrant, bright, and eye-catching are all words I would associate with the reformed changeling colour palette! They use very vibrant colors, and I think it suits Joel quite a lot.

Next we have Skizz!

Skizz is a Pegasus pony for a few reasons! I’m trying to base the pony designs off of the content creators’ personalities and building /gaming styles- but I’m also taking the more popular fanon designs for these characters into account as well. Many people draw him as an angel. I also see Skizz as somebody who is incredibly sweet and is constantly trying to lift others up, and with a pair of wings, he could do that literally! So why not!

Then of course the lovely Gem!

Gem was a little harder to pinpoint, since I’ve only recently started watching her videos, but since I’m also trying to base these designs off of their season 10 aesthetics- I decided to make her a hippogriff! In the MLP universe, hippogriffs are creatures that can transform into sea ponies using a magical necklace (this is shown explicitly in the movie). Since her base for this season is based on dredge and fisher/pirate aesthetics, I decided to make her a hippogriff to give her that advantage when it comes to terraforming her underwater section of the base. I also think that her little fishing rivalry with Grian could be funny if she could literally transform into a fish.

And last but certainly not least; Impulse!

Impulse is a unicorn, partially to be parallel with Skizz- but also for his ability to create magic with Redstone. I considered making him an earth pony for his feeling of stability and competence, but it didn’t feel quite right. So unicorn he is! His cutie mark is his signature "i" symbol that's lit up like a redstone torch.

AND YES I MADE A LOGO. I HAD TO. I COULDNT NOT DO THIS.

I hope you enjoy!

[bloodheartz]

gimmw your gfalls hcs NOEWWW

oh god! I have soooo many but i'll put some basic ones down for the pines family rn and probably add on to this later ^_^

Dipper

◇ First of all this boy is absolutely autistic. My little autistic ass acted so much like him as a kid, I mean, what autistic 12 year old wouldn't base their entire summer around a weird book full of monsters they found?

◇ I think he's a trans dude and aro/ace, and that his crush on Wendy was more comphet than anything. I'm not really a fan of any ship involving him but I think platonic dipcifica could be cute.

◇ Cryptozoology/The Paranormal is absolutely his main special interest, but he also has an sp/in in computers/comp sci (but he's honestly not great at computer stuff).

Mabel

◇ AuDHD Queen! I think her main special interest is absolutely arts / crafts, I mean look at all the silly things she makes throughout the series as well as her dedication to handmaking dozens of puppets/props/etc as well as writing and entire play to impress her crush of the week in Sock Opera. ◇ I think sexuality wise she's not straight but prefers to be unlabelled. I also like to think she's the type to collect xenogenders / neopronouns like pokemon cards. ( she totally uses a bunch of cat-based pronouns) ◇ Shortly after the series I think she'd get a little less Boys-Crazy and focus more exploring who she is as a person / her self expression. Absolutely is gonna have a mall goth/emo/scene phase (she's smushing all three of those together into one thing for herself).

(I also think Mabel and Dipper were born identical twins)

Grunkle Stan

◇ Also AuDHD, not quite sure what his big main special interest would be but he's absolutely hyperfixated on Ducktective. Also going off the story in Lost Legends I think he'd absolutely be getting into making comics / drawing in general (even if hes not great at it). Post series I think he'd spend a lot of his free time out at sea drawing in the boat's cabin. Mostly making comics of silly re-tellings of he and Ford's adventures out at Sea (he absolutely shows Dipper and Mabel these if he and Ford video calls them when they're on land) ◇ I'm a transfem Stanley truther. He doesn't really realize/come to terms with it until post-series. I think she'd just grow out her hair and throw it in a pony-tail + use she/he pronouns to transition. She'd still use the name Stanley and be fine with both masc/fem terms (ie fine be called a man or a woman). Also he's bisexual (but has known this since he was like a teen, even if he didn't have the words to label it.) ◇ I think his Popsicle addiction from the unaired pilot is real and canon. Old autistic men love popsicles just look at my dad and grandfather.

Ford

◇ oh boy its projection time (i am a stanford pines fictive) 😈😈😈

◇ Transmasc, somewhere under the nonbinary umbrella but very guy adjacent. Mainly uses he/him pronouns but I think he'd use "it" and "they" aswell. Gay and Arospec as well. ◇ Autism + NPD + Schizophrenia wombo combo. He's sooooo NPD coded its INSANE, I am going to write an essay about it in the future. Goes without saying that his special interests are the paranormal and various sciences, but I think he has a hardcore love for the arts as well. ◇ Going off both the autism and arospec HC- I think he's the type to convince himself he has a crush very easily, when in reality he just has a strong admiration / platonic love for those in question, and had strong platonic feelings for McGucket back in college that he confused for romantic ones (projecting 100000000%) (i think the Stan twins were fraternal twins)

[throwing-in-the-towel]

my long awaited thinkpiece prompted by a tiktok posted by mickeyjotheatre:

gonna be extremely long. bear with me. i like to be thorough!

very brief background introduction for this post: the user listed above (who is an avid theater goer and reviewer for both broadway & the west end) decided to share a video talking about the closing of Suffs and how that relates to The Outsiders. a comparison that is pretty unnecessary imo except for the fact that they play on the same street & opened in the same season, but hey that's just my opinion! these two shows are nowhere near similar whatsoever and it is pretty crazy to act as though they are comparable in any sense of the word.

MJT starts to mention how Suffs won the Tonys for Best Score & Best Book of a musical. he also mentions how The Outsiders won Best Director & Best Musical! however, he only points out how none of the nominated acting performances for The Outsiders won Tonys, but doesn't mention how none of the nominated Suffs performances won either!!! later in his video, MJT does graciously mention how The Outsiders was directed by a woman (Danya Taymor) and the original novel was written by a woman (S.E. Hinton). he goes on to say that it seems as though young women seem to be attending The Outsiders over Suffs, even though The Outsiders is about "emotionally inarticulate men" while Suffs is about "emotionally articulate, very intelligent and driven young women." he also mentions how any time he has been on 45th, there is always screaming at The Outsiders stage door, but not as Suffs. while he does (off-handedly) mention that Suffs has some passionate & enthusiastic fans, he disregards them pretty quickly. i know some people who are major fans of Suffs, and they deserve more respect than that. not fair to compare fanbases that are made up of different demographics entirely.

he doesn't think he's the person to have a conversation about that, but starts one anways! so i will finish it for him! :D

before i get into my thoughts, i wanna jump back to MJT's intial review on The Outsiders!! a lot of the comments he makes about aspects of the show are shared in a very patronizing and condescending tone. i have an example here for you guys: "which signifies to us, the audience, he can be better than all this because he's reading a classic novel." which was in relation to pony reading great expectations. i fear that is not the point of him reading that book! he also shares that it's an "annoying habit of retaining the first person point of view" and uses "telling rather than showing"...well that is how narration works! the story being in first person is extrememly important to every aspect of the plot. pony can even be considered an unreliable narrator. it's important, no matter how annoying you thought it was! MJT used the drive-in scene btwn cherry & pony as an example, saying that when pony tells the audience about cherry's family that cherry's depth is taken away so pony can talk to the audience??? ok, i think the point of cherry's character kinda just missed you a little then! he thinks the lack of cherry is very frustrating :/ you know what's frustrating to me? speaking on things that young women enjoy as if your interests are better than theirs!

there are more takes that i, frankly, disagree with in the duration of his 23 minute video that i so painfully sat through, but i will spare you guys the boring details. i will share a quote from him, "the characters are emotionally inarticulate men who are performing a certain amount of masculinity and aggression in order to survive their circumstances. does that prohibit you from a certain amount of emotional connection? you can feel bad for them, but i don't know that they necessarily have the requisite vulnerability to allow you to feel that emotional connection." all in all here, i think the plot and relationships between these characters just went completely over his head. constantly commenting on how these boys are "emotionally inarticulate," then refusing to mention moments like DAMD, TITT, Soda's Letter, or even the final scene between the curtis brothers is certainly a choice!

i would like to get to my thoughts, more so on the intial tiktok now. i think it's important to acknowledge that a lot of people seeing The Outsiders aren't theater fans and that there are definitely a lot of younger people (not just young women btw) that go to the show because the cast is conventionally attractive. im not gonna sit here and say there aren't attractive people in the cast, because that would be a lie. i also can say that a pretty face doesn't keep a show open and make it as successful as this one has been. also who cares if a decent amount of the fans are young women? that means more young people getting into theater and engaging with theater content online, which is great to see! young women are usually very in tune with picking out what will be successful and what won't be! maybe there's a reason why The Outsiders is the show staying open!

it's also important to note how accesible the cast is for this show. they are extremely active on social media, which raises fan interest and engagement. and a lot of that is due to Melody Rose, a FEMALE cast member!!!!! IP does better on broadway than original stories in the current climate, that sucks, i agree, but that is not the fault of teenagers and what shows they are choosing to see. the music of The Outsiders is more engaging and the story is more relatable for younger people. if you sat and thought about it for more than 15 minutes, you'd realize why it's so successful. it's a story about acceptance, perseverance, family and love, and boiling it down to being about emotionally inept men who are attractive, you're doing a disservice to the story that has resonated with so many in the darkest of places.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Could you do some modern day Soda headcanons please? I love him so much and I love your blog so much soooooo….

Ok so soda is tricky for me to write but I tried my best!!!

Modern Au Sodapop Headcanons

-Drinks every single energy drink imaginable. Rockstar? Like its water. Prime? For the plot. 5 hour energy? He’ll down it in five seconds. Darry is HORRIFIED.

-Is pretty enough he’s one of those people who becomes moderately famous on TikTok without having to really do much. His followers notice he’s always talking to someone off camera, and they’re desperate to find out who it is, but Soda only ever responds to comments with ‘oh that’s just Stevie, he doesn’t like TikTok’.

-Soda’s followers have a lot of theories about this ‘Stevie’. Soda is weirdly tight lipped about him, despite the fact he often breaks off mid rant in videos to talk to him. There’s also the fact that the rest of the gang is often around/in the background of videos, but the mysterious ‘Stevie’ never appears. (okok I’ll stop here before this becomes a Stevepop social media au)

-Regularly forgets to take his ADHD meds and Darry often has to remind him

-Would either have a hockey flow or a mullet (whatever y’all think, personally I think modern Soda with a hockey flow tracks with his character)

-One of those people who loves horror movies but is also completely terrified of even the dumbest ones and has to sleep with the lights on for weeks afterwards. Steve makes fun of him for it, but will also stay up on the phone with him if Soda watches one by himself and freaks himself out

-Has a million fidget spinners because they actually help him focus on stuff when he needs to

-Soda in modern AU wouldn’t call Ponyboy ‘kid brother’ as a nickname (don’t get me wrong, I love it but Ive never heard it used irl). Instead, I think him and Darry (and thus the rest of the gang) refer to Pony as ‘shrimp’ and Ponyboy absolutely hates it  “where’s the shrimp” “he’s has track practice ‘till four, you of all people should know that Dar” (brought to you by me and my interactions with my own little brothers)

-The whole gang is super into video games, but Soda is kind of shit at them and lowkey grumpy about it

-Every teacher he’s ever had has done that thing where they expect him to be exactly like his older sibling, and therefore expect him to be a model student like Darry, and every time they are proven entirely wrong. By the time the same teachers see Ponyboy’s name on their class lists they’re terrified of what to expect

-He definitely had that horrible middle school boy stage where he just reeked of axe body spray and BO before he figured out proper hygiene

-Every two weeks him and Steve end up doing some sort of YouTube deep dive where they end up being convinced of some sort of wild conspiracy theory that Ponyboy and sometimes Darry have to spend three hours talking them out of

-Uses far too many emojis in texts

-He had a pet hamster once and you know that thing died in the most horrendous way imaginable. Two-bit probably farted into the cage at one point as a joke and the poor thing asphyxiated to death or some shit like that

-He’s that kid in group projects who does nothing and tanks the presentation for everyone by mispronouncing half the words on the slides some other group member made for him

-Him and Steve are so inseparable that when they’re not together people will be like ‘where’s your boyfriend’ and he just answers without thinking before flushing really hard and sputtering a bit. 

-One of those people that casually catches snakes with his bare hands. Steve HATES it and Ponyboy is TERRIFIED of snakes so he gets in trouble with Darry if he does it too often or brings them near the house

[winstonsns]

this is gonna sound Rlly funny/ridiculous, but... Gang w reader from 2024??? Somehow????? LMAO. i jus thought itd b funny. LOLOL

the gang with 2024!reader (request)

authors note: sorry i’m doing requests late! i have many requests and i’ve been busy. also i have 100 followers!! this post is gonna have a lot of brainrot words so sorry about that LMAO. sorry this post is really short again!! i hope you enjoy!! 💗

includes ponyboy, johnny, soda, darry, dally, two-bit and steve

word count: 1.9k

warnings: cussing, brainrot slang, alcohol, slightly suggestive but as a joke

PONYBOY CURTIS

you and ponyboy were in his room, reading stupidly romantic books as a joke

the two of you were close to tears due to laughing, both of your stomachs hurting because the book was so cringey

“oh my god! this reminds me of this one tiktok, so this girl was like ‘i think i made the new booktok anthem—‘ wait i told you about booktok, right?” you paused after talking

“yes, yes, very weird. continue on!” your boyfriend said, smiling widely at you

“so basically, the girl was singing, ‘i’m looking for a new book boyfriend. billionaire. six five, brown eyes.’ and would go on and on with the song!! literally everyone made fun of her and she responded to a hate comment, but then a comment on that video was like ‘we love an unbothered queen!!’” laughing at the end of what you said, ponyboy hunching over, dropping the book and wheezing

since he’s a teenage boy, he picked up on your vocabulary very quickly, using words like ‘sigma’ ‘grimace shake’ ‘gyatt’ (but only to you) ‘rizz’ etc

once he was saying those words too much and his brother, darry, got annoyed and said, “pony… just, stop saying those words. please, i’m getting a headache.”

your boyfriend responded with, “you’re such a beta, can’t handle a sigma rizzler like me.” a proud look on his face, darry sighing and walking to a different room

ponyboy thinks you’re the funniest person ever and even started using your vocab when talking to others or about something, and people would stare at him weirdly because they didn’t know what he was talking about, or what the words meant

JOHNNY CADE

you and johnny were outside, staring at the sunset together as a date

he was in your arms, feeling protected by you, you ran your fingers through his hair while the two of you were softly talking to each other

“i love you like how baby gronk loves livvy dunne…” you said with a smile on your face, knowing he’d think it’s funny and would laugh

he let out a loud chuckle, continuing to giggle multiple seconds after

then johnny sat up next to you, saying, “look over there!!” so you gasped, looking to where he was pointing

he lightly grabbed your jaw and moved it towards his direction, giggling when the two of you were making weird faces once you saw each other

you would always tell him that from your time, people would joke and do that gesture all the time but never in a serious way

he really loved the little diy gifts you would make him, telling him you would watch tiktok’s about cute cards to give your partner or friend

along with the pink bows you would put in your hair, sometimes asking him to tie them into your hair, telling him that coquette became back in style in your time

although others would stare at you on the street because they weren’t used to your style, you could care less

he knew you were so unique and perfect, so he would try to show you as much affection as he could to make you stay

SODAPOP CURTIS

“no one can rizz me up as well as you can, sodagyatt…” talking to your boyfriend in a joking tone

“ooh… yes, pookie… talk to me like that… maybe i’ll get you a grimace shake…” he replied, smirking and leaning in for a kiss

you giggled and lightly grabbed his face, pulling him in for a kiss, his hands on your waist

after the two of you pulled away, you looked into each others eyes before bursting out laughing, falling onto soda and curling up into a ball, your stomach hurting

he picked up on your words very quickly, specifically using the word ‘rizz’ a lot after you told him he had a lot

he began to call his brother, ponyboy, ‘ponygyatt’ because he thought it was funny

whenever one of his brothers did something embarrassing, he would tell them “your aura is decreasing. minus seven hundred points, darry.”

but he absolutely loved your sense of style, the way you would dress because it was from your time, but from his time, everyone wore denim and flannels

DARRY CURTIS

darry, your boyfriend, was baking a chocolate cake for you and his brothers

he was measuring the flour and cocoa powder, pouring them into the bowl

his back was facing you, your jaw dropped and eyes widened, you had a wonderful idea, and went through with it

“GYATTTTTT” you yelled, and spanked your boyfriend hard, on the ass

he yelped and you ran to the other room, him chasing after you, he caught up to you and grabbed you, spanking you too while you laughed

the two of you were out of breath, so you went back to talking like nothing happened, and darry wondered ‘how does she always manage to act like nothing happened..’ but in a funny way

so both of you waked back to the kitchen, going back to work on the chocolate cake dry ingredients

he never really picked up on the slang you used, him being an adult so he never cared much to use those words

plus he had a reputation to keep up, so he didn’t want to use those words but thought when you used them, they were funny

but you made his brothers laugh, and he really appreciated that

when you would help ponyboy with his homework if darry didn’t have the time, if you were confused, you would say something like “what the sigma is this bro!?”

DALLAS WINSTON

you were at your house, making roses made of pages of a book for dally, your boyfriend

then you heard a loud ring, it was your phone, you wondered, ‘who would be calling at this hour? it’s like… 2am, man..”

so you lay on your bed, kicking your feet while you thought about dally, picked up your phone and asked, “y/n l/n, what do you need?”

“mmm… hey baby, uh, i’m at the station right now. do you think you could pick me up? i’m sorry if i woke you up…” your boyfriend said

you gasped and covered your mouth with your hand, kicking your feet and nearly screaming at the thought of seeing your boyfriend, even though the two of you saw each other four hours ago

“say on skibidi to prove that you’re in the station right now.” you teased, wanting him to be embarrassed

you heard a sigh from the other end of the line, dally muttered a “on skibidi..” you giggled, saying you’d pick him up

“love you dal!! i’ll be there in a few minutes, i promise.” you continued, and he responded with a “love you too, doll. look forward to seeing you.” you hung up

he loved how you would ask people weird or rude things, but they wouldn’t understand, once you asked someone “why do you act like a fucking millennial?” and dally had to pull you away, laughing quietly because you told him what a millennial was

or when you quietly said to him, “why is that guy built like a discord mod…?” except you didn’t tell him what that was, so he had a confused look on his face and asked, “what…?”

you’d ask him if you were his skibidi alpha pookie bear, he would sigh but nod his head, repeating what you just said

he thinks you’re really fucking funny though especially if you have brainrot humor, no one besides him understands you and he loves that

TWO-BIT MATTHEWS

you and your boyfriend, keith, were at a store when you saw a couple making out

the girl looked young, too young, and the guy looked in his mid 30s, but they were acting very touchy and sexual

“erm, what the sigma..” you said in a certain voice, two-bit looking at you, shaking his head and sighing, trying to keep a straight face

then he couldn’t hold is any longer he chuckled and looked at where you were looking

he mumbled a “what the fuck…” squinting his eyes, blinking multiple times to see if he was seeing what he thought he was

what looked like a young girl full on making out with a guy who looked like he was in his mid 30s, you and your boyfriend looked at each other, eyes wide

then the two of you bursted out laughing, you unintentionally but loudly said, “bro is NOT a certified lover boy, certified—“ but two-bit covered your mouth, seeing the couple pass by you

once they passed and got to a certain distance, the two of you giggled to the point of your stomach hurting

when you started saying some slang from the 2000s, he picked up on it and started saying it too

when he started saying that type of slang around the gang, they had no idea what he meant and thought he was crazy

he even changed the lyrics to an elvis song into a ‘brainrot remix’ according to him

whenever he wanted to annoy someone because they wouldn’t know what he was doing or talking about, he would do a ‘shh’ motion, a finger up to his lips, then moving his finger to his jaw, tracing his jawline to his chin, which you taught him and called it mewing

he also did it when he wanted someone to be quiet, they would be confused so they would shut up

but when he picked up a bottle of alcohol, jokingly twitching and shaking, trying to act like he was tweaking, you said, “boy, it’s just alkahal!!” and he nearly dropped the bottle, chuckling loudly

STEVE RANDLE

“shh… i’m about to mew…” putting your pointer finger to your lips, moving it to your jaw, tracing down your jawline to your chin, doing the motion again but on the opposite side of your jaw

“the fuck are you talkin’ about?” a slight sense of concern in steve’s voice, people staring at the two of you as you walked down the street

he never really used the slang from your time, he thought it was funny but really stupid, so he never used it because he didn’t want to make people confused

he was a smart person, but of course people wouldn’t expect that because of the way he acted

besides that one time when he was with the gang, two-bit said something stupid, so steve said, “shut up you beta, you have a negative canthal tilt and a negative aura.”

they stared at him weirdly then all began to laugh, not knowing where he got those words from

but he loved your style, you had money but it was hard to find clothes from your time

authors note: i decided to post again because i feel bad for missing the post yesterday. i guess the one i posted at midnight counted for yesterday!! i get out of school super soon so i can post more yayyyy!!!

[pixiesfz]

where’s the tent? s.c x child!reader

apart of sunshine series

plot: your first time at Matilda’s camp

warning: fluff, sunshine and Harper world domination

"Sunshine which toy do you want with you on the plane and which one do you want to put in your suitcase?" Steph asked you whilst holding two bears in front of you.

One was your teddy that Lara gave you and the other was a new Teddy that you had picked out with your new friend Harper when you went shopping with her and her mums.

You looked in between the two bears before pointing at Lara's "take on plane" you mumbled and Steph smiled "okay sunshine"

"Can we film doing hair again?" you ask as Steph zips up your suitcase "I want plaits" you smiled and put your hands on your pajama pants you were still in.

"We have to go soon Sunshine," Steph told you before picking you up and resting you on her hip "How bout we get changed and then we see if we can do hair, if not we can do it at the airport with Kyra and Caitlin"

"Caitlin can't do hair" you mumbled and Steph laughed "She's only used to pony tails"

It was early in the morning and you were still very tired but you weren't complaining as Steph told you that you were going to camp for the first time, the first time she went to camp since adopting you she didn't bring you.

You stayed at Auntie Leah's but you didn't like it, you threw a tantrum every night when you didn't have a Storytime with Stephy and you didn't like the accent Leah had.

Even if it was the same as yours, you still called yourself Australian and were trying to mimic Steph's voice.

Steph thought to take you this time but you didn't know how you would handle being in another country.

Steph dressed you in comfortable clothes and did put your hair in one plait before she drove you both to the airport where you met with Kyra and Caitlin.

"Ready for camp Sunshine?" Caitlin asked you and you nodded "You excited to see Harper?" Kyra chimed in and you jumped up and down from excitement.

"Harper my best friend"

The two girls nodded with smiles as Steph pulled out Lara's teddy and Caitlin and Kyra lined up for the plane "ready?" she asked and you nodded "hand please" you lifted your hand for Steph to take which she did.

On the plane you weren't too bad, more excited for the snack woman to come up and down as you gave Steph your 'puppy eyes' as the Aussie called them.

"You're too young for diet coke Sunshine"

"But when Kyra gave me some-"

"Kyra what"

Steph's eyes popped out of her sockets before she turned around to see a peacefully sleeping Kyra that was sat next to Caitlin who was on her phone before Steph texted her.

You watched as Caitlin slapped the younger girl awake.

You had fallen asleep not much longer and Steph was grateful for it, especially when people walking by would 'aw' at your cuteness.

When the plane landed you woke up and gripped on to Steph, asking her to hold you as a lot of people were walking around, you didn't want to get lost.

You finally got out and fell back asleep on Steph's shoulder as she grabbed all your luggage and made her way into the Uber that Matilda camp had ordered for the three Arsenal girls.

"C'mon Sunshine time to wake up" Steph nudged you awake before she entered the hotel, she wanted to make sure you were at least familiar with the setting before you woke up in the morning.

You were amazed by all the cool lights around you, pointing at little things that amazed you as Steph nodded and talked about them with you.

"Do we want to go to dinner or have a nap first?" Steph asked you and you looked around, more energized from your long naps "Harper" you answered and Steph put you down, her hand still in yours.

"Dinner it is"

When you saw your best friend in the Dinner room, you ran off in a sprint "Harper!" you yelled and the other little girl started running to you as well until you met each other in a hug, the media person catching it on video as the girls awed at the sight.

Katrina walked over to Steph "Sunshine was good on the plane?" she asked with a slight smirk and Steph breathed out "I was so happy".

You and Harper sat on the floor, inviting players down every now and then before your mums forced you to eat your dinners which they got for you.

"Where you talking to Teagan?" Steph asked and you nodded "Teagan's cool, want to see Corkey next" you said and she nodded "You like Courtney don't you, is she your favourite?" she asked and you looked at Steph "But you're my favourite"

Steph seemed to smile at your words and brought you into a hug "Thankyou Sunshine".

When you finished you ran over to Courtney who was with Mary and red hair Courtney "Corkeyyyy" you yelled out, still not very not good with her name.

The blonde raised her arms for you as you jumped up into her arms "Did you miss me?" she asked and you nodded "yes!"

You had only met Courtney a couple of times in London and you had seen pictures of her that Kyra had in her apartment as they used to go to school together.

You just babbled with words as you sat with the three younger girls as Harper played with Charli and Kyra.

Katrina and Steph just called it free babysitting.

When you arrived to your room with Steph you looked around confused and with furrowed eyebrows as your arms crossed over each other "What's wrong Sunshine?"

"Where's the tent?" you asked and Steph cocked her head, also confused "What do you mean Sunshine?"

"This is camp, why no tent?"

Steph just smiled warmly at your words before picking you and explaining to you that soccer camp is different before you fell asleep in her arms.

[medicetwork]

Mercs if they had modern day cellphones!

Heavy:

The screen is too small and his fingers are too big.

The screen also tends to hurt his eyes after a while but he absolutely refuses to turn down the brightness, saying it would make it even harder to see than before

His main favorite functions are video calls with Medic or his family and listening to music.

His life is complete when he discovers E-books

He can’t read them on the screen but he loves being able to clean Sasha while having his favorite book read to him

Medic:

Really doesn’t use it for much else than phone calls and the occasional google search at first

When he discovers mobile games that takes his interest though!

He becomes a candy crush mom.

Oh you have a broken arm? Wellll…You can tough it out, champ. He’s on level 7,229 right now.

He would make all the other men get Life360

Scout:

Total social media zombie(I say as if I am not one)

Surprisingly he’s very popular on apps like Twitter and Tik Tok. People think he’s hilarious!

Unfortunately somewhere along the way he says something less than respectful about something and his account gets banned

Eventually he’s on account number 6 and trying to regrow his following

It never recovers

He finds out about NFT’s

Sniper:

Mainly uses it to watch youtube and play music

His phone is always on silent and Do Not Disturb

He loves those videos where those guys go out into the middle of the woods and just start building a fucking house out of clay and sticks.

He prefers texting to calling, finding it much faster(he just like me fr)

Baffled by just how much porn he has access to now….

But he’s not complaining.

Soldier:

He doesn’t use it because he just keeps breaking his phones.

They’ve been dropped, blown up, set ablaze, dropped in water, eaten by a bread-tumor monster, eaten by Soldier(???) and run over.

Even if they didn’t get destroyed within 3 days he still wouldn’t use it for much else besides setting alarms and sending confusing group texts.

However, with each new phone he has gotten he asks Pyro for stickers and sticker bombs his phone just for fun

Has an American flag wallpaper

Pyro:

Watches a lot of Youtube!

They love art tutorials, cooking tutorials and those videos with the guys that put molten hot metal balls into water and those videos of people crushing things in Hydraulic presses

Their search history is so fucking strange:

“my little pony free episode”

“my little pony movie free”

“how to draw clouds”

“gasoline cheap prices”

They follow Scout’s pages and always send him nice comments and like his videos

Engineer:

Loves listening to music and watching movies on his phone

Eventually learns how to code and make his own apps

This is also how he discovered he could jailbreak his phone and turn it into a universal remote for his sentries

Very slow texter

Uses way more emoji’s than needed

“Hello yall 👋🏻 going to the hardware store today 🔨let me know if yall need anything while im out👋🏻🚶🏼”

His most used app is the settings app

Spy:

Of course all of his phones are burners.

He never uses one for more than one week

Loves pirating movies on it and watching them in bed

He has no contacts. No personal information and keeps his location off at all times

Likes to pretend to be different people and play around with Google and Youtube’s targeted ads and algorithms

One day he’s an 86 year old woman that’s recommended nothing but metal bands and funeral home ads

The next week he’s four years old and getting recommended Mario and Minecraft let’s play videos

He uses twitter

He’s doxxed many people on Twitter

Like Scout he has MANY banned accounts and has also hacked and stolen many accounts

…He hacked one of Scout’s accounts and got it permanently banned

Demoman:

Loves watching Top 10 videos

Also loves having so much ease and access talking to his lads

He video calls his mother often even she just nags him the whole time and keeps accidentally hanging up

Is frequently texting the other team’s Soldier and laughing at what he says back

Uses Discord and Reddit and is in many servers and communities that focus on paranormal activity, urban legends and cryptids

Actually makes his own youtube videos searching for said cryptids

Frequently comments “cringe” under Scout’s posts

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT HAZBIN WAS SO FUCKING GOOD IM GOING INSANE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKENFKCMKWJRKFNSMSMDMSMDN-

Okay. Okay deep breaths. Time for some cool and collected comentary. Okay.

Putting it under the cut so ppl can avoid spoilers :)

HUSK USED TO BE AN OVERLORD!?!?!?!?!? HELLO!?!?!?!?!? FUCKIN PLOTTWIST OF THE CENTURY WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?

Huskerdust my beloved

SIR PENTIOUS MY BELOVED

Vox was great. I love him he's so fucking cool-

If Vox wasn't already a Tumblr sexyman he's definitely gonna be one now. He's so fucking Onceler coded it's insane.

Velvette was amazing too. It's so funny that she's British lmao I was not expecting that

Velvette is also very Anne Boelyne(like from SIX not from Real Life) coded it's wild. Her part in that song with Carmila was giving so much Don't Lose Your Head

I swear I'll stop comparing them to other characters I SWEAR

Okay but me and my brother are working on a Hazbin Hotel swap AU where we swap the main cast with the overlords and in that AU we swapped Husk and Vox. The Husk used to be an overlord reveal is gonna make that AU soooooo much easier lmao

ADAM IS REALLY GOOD I promised I would stop comparing to other characters but he was giving SO MUCH Hades from Disney's Hercules like its insane

I think we should let Alex Brightman sing rocj and roll more often that song was such a fucking BANGER

SPEAKING OF THE SONGS- oh my god I love the soundtrack so fucking much-

Stayed Gone was a lil less hype then I was expecting but thats okay cuz it was still a banger and I loved the visuals

That song battle between Carmilla and Velvette????? Oh my god??????

Carmilla and Vaggie's song was also amazing but I think I know why they didn't have Stephanie Beatriz sing her own song in Elena of Avalor y'know, girl cannot hold a character voice while singing

LOSER WAS SO FUCKING GOOD- I love Huskerdust so much. I love Keith David so much. Blake Roman is such a phenomenal Angel Dust.

SPEAKING OF all the voice actors are amazing. Blake Roman, Brightman as Pentious and Joel Perez were the ones I was the most worried abt but I loved all their preformances so much it was fucking fantastic

Valentino can go die in a fucking hole <3

The other Vees are cool and fun to watch but I hope Valentino fucking dies

Okay to be fair he's also fun to watch when he's not in the same room as Angel Dust but tHAT DOESNT SUPERSEID MY HATRED FUCK 👏 THAT 👏 GUY 👏👏👏👏

Speaking of the Vees tho I do love their dynamic

My favorite episode was probably Radio Killed the Video Star bcuz of mY BOYS PENTIOUS AND VOX!!!!!!!!

And the most painful episode to watch was- no surprise- Masquerade

That episode was a fucking rollercoaster Jesus fucking Christ...

Those scenes with Angel and Valentino where so fucking visceral... like. Who the fuck wrote that. Who are you. Are you okay. Do you need help-

Tho I'm not sure abt how they're handling the ah- more serious bits of Angel's character. It is WAYYYYYY to early to tell and I think Loser wasn't like. Trying to downplay the situation. But the writers better have been careful moving foreward bcuz I can def see a world where Angel's arc goes very wrong very fast-

Also while we're criticizing: wasn't a fan of the pacing. Especially in episode two. Like I can look past it, but the way they breeze past some plot points kinda bugged me

Otherwise it was sooooooo fucking good man oh my god

THE HUMOR WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN PPL MAKE IT OUT TO BEEEEEE PPL NEED TO STOP SHITTING ON THE COMEDY IN THESE SHOWS MAN-

The gag where Niffty just fucking stopped thinking every time the camera turned on was so fucking good

Niffty in general was really fuckin funny

Alastor was a lot less prominent of a character then I thought he would be but tbh I think that's for the best. He's like Discord from My Little Pony, fun in small doses but if you don't set perameters for how often he appears and when he's willing to help it kinda breaks the show

Chaggie is adorable and I love them <3

I think this show does a really good job balancing the focus on the whole cast! These first 4 episodes seem to be pretty Charlie, Angel and kind of Vaggie heavy but everybody still gets their fair share of attention!

THE ANIMATIOJ OH MY GOD- IT WAS FUCKING PHENOMENAL IM LOSING MY M I N D

Im going feral IM GOING FERAL THIS EXCEEDED MY EXPECTATIONS AKFNVKKENFEKFNDN

I love comedy. I love musicals. I love drama. I love silly characters. I LOVE ANIMATION!!!!!!!

It's like the South Park movie but longer and better animated and IVE BEEN WAITING FOUR FUCKING YEARS-

Just. So excited overall. Can't wait to see where it goes. May make more posts abt my thoughts in tbe future.

[nalyra-dreaming]

to put all the cards on the table... (and now that we have that teaser... oooofff). i read the books, but i want to put my obsessive detail lover glasses on. anne is really nuanced in her writing, so yes i totally get lestat is not how louis described him (more or less 👀), but just in a vibey way. to make a specific list, what is that 20% that louis got wrong in your opinion?

That Louis got wrong? :)

Hmmm… So first off I do not think that what we saw of Lestat in that video (aka the rockstar persona) is how he looked when he was with Louis in NOLA.

Then again… Surprisingly close, isn't it?^^

So to get into this I need to explain my view of this a bit. Kidnap your ask, if you will^^

Louis describing Lestat: strands of hair down the sides of his face, unkempt a bit wild hair (at times at least). If his hair isn't done in some kind of fashion (opera, french pony tail etc)

I said it before, I think these strands down Lestat's face are indicative of Louis' POV (own) memories.

Which brings us to this small excursion on the subject. There's the evil step-mom bob, when Claudia comes in, and which is repeated outside in 1x05:

Hair lengths aside, we now know that Lestat was just as bloody as Louis from the trial revisit (see below), which was supposedly the truth, but in any case "no scratch on Lestat" has never made much sense. Meaning the force-feeding likely didn't happen either...

.... and the drop... well. Supposedly did. Even though he is quite clean again?

Because... that is still very far from what we (supposedly) saw as the "truth" of Lestat's bloody face in the coffin room just before, which we were shown at the trial:

I think the evil step-mom-clean-and-glorious-looking Lestat is Armand's tampered-with version.

Because... going through this because I think we got Louis' POV and actual memories of Lestat more in the beginning of season one.

There are a lot more instances of the "strands down his face"...

Btw, see this? Of what was used by Daniel to prove an "error" to the tale in 2x08? To prove Armand's manipulation?!

Right after the scene... he has them again:

Even Claudia's POV has them!

Even when she absolutely hates his guts:

I think every scene we saw with Lestat either in made up hair or with the strands down his face are ... "as real as it can get in a tale".

And the other scenes... the perfect blond hair ... is not.

Which brings us finally back to your actual question:

What is the 20% Louis got wrong?

And... I'm not sure Louis really got him that wrong?! I think Louis misunderstood some things, didn't know a lot of things, and Lestat fucked up others. They didn't talk enough. And sometimes love makes you desperate. They knew exactly how to wound the other.

And Armand... meddled with the tale. I said it before, the "train scene" cannot have happened as shown. The hotel likely neither.

I think every scene where Lestat is an "evil bitch with perfect hair.".. is a meddled with one. Given Armand's goal of influencing the tale? Namely making Lestat seem as bad as possible, while being unable to hide his own fascination with him? Makes perfect sense to me.^^

And there's actually not that many of them either. The outside of episode 5, the tractor salesman, the train, the paranoia driven one in 1x07 has strands again, while he does not have them the scene before and through a lot of the remaining last episode of the first season.

As such the little comment in 1x07, "the king's hair has betrayed the king".... takes on a third meaning, imho - not only a quip by Louis on both the "hair" on the floor and "heir" (Claudia)... but also that the "hair"... betrays the "king"... the leader - the coven master vampire meddling.

Layers, upon layers, upon layers.

So what did Louis get wrong?

Not that much actually, I think. But... some of the key scenes were not his. And those were therefore, in the sense of the words, wrong.

[vyl3tpwny]

wauitb what the fuck i have 5000 followers

this is insane hi guys

to celebrate 5000 followers on tublr here are some facts about myself: - my favourite food is fried chicken

- my favourite food is spicy fried chicken

most of my hyperfixations fluctuate in and out, but some that don't ever seem to let me go are my little pony, half life, skrillex, undertale/deltarune

recently i have developed an unfathomable obsession with bees i have a huge bee hyperfixation i play bee swarm simulator on roblox every day and i watch bee videos and i also just designed a beesona on pony town its name is beetrice the dragon bee:

my favourite movie is probably wolf children or mr. bean's holiday or elf

im basically lucario for girls

i am like a dragon and i collect things that i like.. you can see some here:

i play a lot of instruments, mostly piano, drums, singing, and guitar/bass/ukulele. my first instrument was the drums tho which i started playing when i was 2 or something. i no longer play drums because our house is too small for a drum set right now and i dont like electronic drum kits. one day!!!!

i have had zero music lessons which is why you should also make music bc you dont need to spend life savings on music education to make chunes

non-musicians who have influenced me the most are @sterfler and @astroeden who have changed my brain chemistry forever artistically (this is not an exaggeration)

i am not allergic to anything at all somehow

im the motherfucker who will drink an entire gallon of whole milk with nothing else yeah im just kind of awesome like that

i do not drink alcohol (anymore) or smoke or do drugs or anything like that just a personal pref

i am filipino but i am also chinese and scottish and italian and polish and maybe other things

i have been openly queer since 2011

i have been a furry since 2007 or something?

i have been making music since 2007 or something....?

my first true love as a musician was queen, which (because of their older albums) was my rabbit hole into the world of progressive rock. my passion for creating music was nurtured entirely by my discovery of genesis and the album 'the lamb lies down on broadway'. the next thing that shaped me as an artist? skrillex - 'scary monsters and nice sprites'

i have really bad verbal processing issues so you can probably speak directly to me and i will have no idea what youre saying sometimes

my feelings on art change a lot but i update my topster lists every now and again

i am mostly right [hoofed] but i'm technically ambidextrous

my first concert was bruce springsteen i think it was in 2009. i still love the the boss to this day.

i'm a kitty cat

i am also a dragon

i am also a possum

i am a formless void

my first song i wrote when i was 8 was titled after a jimmy neutron reference

the second song i wrote was a fan song about the flying dutchman

i played the original dota warcraft 3 mods long before dota 2 and league of legends existed because i've been a blizzard fangirl since like 2005 and now i hate blizzard so fuck you blizzard you're evil as shit but anyway i used to try and do map development for warcraft iii games but really my favourite thing to do was build maps where i could build the biggest possible army to fight npcs for fun. one of the first videos on my thecobalion channel is a warcraft iii map someone else made. i've just now turned it off private so you can see it if you want.

my favourite kind of humour is recursive

ok thanks what i can remember about myself right now. thanks for following me!!!!

[smol-pine]

Advice for Autistic Regressors

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 Some people may know, autistic kids tend to play a lot differently than their neurotypical friends. As someone who is autistic and is an age regressor, I find that the same thing is true, trying to figure out how to play is difficult! So I decided to make a list of ideas of how to play and hope it can help some other people too!

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

Brackets! grab a bunch of whatever you'd like to play with; plushies, small toys, rocks, anything! Use a piece of paper (or a small whiteboard!), draw up a bracket (search "sport bracket" if you're not sure what they look like), and fill in your toys names or descriptions! Next you gotta choose your competition, my go-tos are either coinflips or one of those sit-in-a-circle-sing-a-song elimination type games. Keep going until you have your winner, celebrate, and repeat! I can sit and do this for hours, and the fun part is the amount of variation you have!

Organize! Need something low energy but still engaging? Find something to sort into categories! You can use collections of toys like My Little Ponies or Littlest Pet Shops, more mundane objects like poker chips or rocks, or different coloured candies if you want to add in a fun snack! Just make sure not to eat too many

Crafts! While this will be different for everyone, I find crafts to be a lot easier to understand than playing. Get some easy craft kits at the dollar store or set up something before you regress! Preferably something easy and simple (and for me, colourful!)

Sensory play! Have you seen those videos of people making sensory bins for their kids? Why not try them when regressed! You can customize them to you, whether you're more of a visual, auditory, or textile stimmer, and are usually pretty simple to set up! You can also use fidget toys for this!

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

I know it may not be much, but I hope this can help someone! And as a reminder to my fellow autistic regressors, you are just as valid as any other regressor, even if the way you regress is a bit different

If you have any other suggestions feel free to add on!

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊