#i used to think it was growing pains when i was a kid but nope

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

having a body is a sensory nightmare

[unhingedgirlythings]

FUCK IT

SUMMERY : Reader gets her date interrupted when Hotch calls up asking for her to get to the BAU. Reader rushes over still dressed up and a certain dr can’t keep her eyes off her teehee.

Tags:fem reader , a huge amount of awkwardness, reader is over her love life

A/N: I WANTED AWKWARD SPENCER REID, bare with me tho cuz I haven’t written a fanfic since I was 13 and it was horrible so please be kind and let me know your thoughts :))) enjoyyy.

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You were used to your phone ringing at the WORST possible times, I mean with your job that was something you just had to prepare yourself for. Serial killers don’t take a break just so you can have a girls night out or take a nice relaxing bath after a long day. Although never in your life did you imagine the wave of relief that would wash over you as the all too familiar ringtone blared from your phone. Normally you would groan and feel your body grow more exhausted whilst hesitantly picking up the phone, but not tonight. Nope. Fortunately for hotch, you couldn’t have answered the phone faster. “what’s up” low and behold hotch was on the other end requesting your presence ASAP!

You tried to hide your glee as you glanced over at the douche-ist blind date that the great quote on quote “matchmaker” of the century Garcia, had raved on about the week before. To be fair the date didn’t start off bad, it was actually the most decent one you’ve had yet. Honestly you were ready to finally praise Penelope for actually finding you a decent man to take your mind off the unrequited school girl crush that you had on a certain “kid” genius. somehow you escaped the dude who clearly was stuck in some frat boy mindset, well not without some snarky comment made towards you which you shut down a little harsher then needed but seriously you couldn’t hold back anymore, you had no idea what possessed Penelope into thinking you would EVER consider going home with the king of fucking douchebags (most likely the biceps and tight clothing that the man sported). Nevertheless here you were speeding down the freeway, thinking way too hard about your love life completely blanking and forgetting to drop by your apartment to quickly change into something more work appropriate.

Before you knew it you’ve parked your car, walking into the cold air. A shiver runs down your body and the shock hits you when you realize. Here you are in a little skimpy black dress that clings to your curves in “just the right way” according to Penelope before shoving you out into your car heading to that horrible excuse of a date, “ahh shit. Fucken seriously! Of course this is just my luck … I mean at least I look good” groaning and mumbling to yourself, you make your way into the building. You knew Hotch would be understanding, I mean you never know when you’re gonna be called in and it sounded urgent so yeah, sometimes you and your coworkers walk in with inappropriate work wear. You will never forget the time he called everyone in at god knows what time, Spencer had walked into the room with his pjs sporting a fluffy dress robe, you seriously thought someone was going to have to perform cpr on you that night.

Walking into the building in heels was definitely a pain in your ass, but you managed as you pushed the briefing room door open. A low wolf whistle from Derek Morgan was the last thing you needed right now “damn sweetheart, who knew you could clean up so nicely“ As you make your way into the room, you playfully roll your eyes at him.“haha very funny” you cringed as everyone’s attention was now drawn to you. while taking a seat next to JJ, wishing to be wearing literally anything else “Sorry Hotch, i came straight from..” you hesitate for a second, glancing around before continuing “A date, but this sounded important so I didn’t have time to change”The stoned faced man simply nods at you “It’s fine. You're here, right now we have a lot to cover” He starts debriefing the team, leaving no detail out of the case, no matter how brutal, you tried your hardest to give him your unwavering attention, but you could feel someone’s eyes on you. And out of the corner of your eye see him. Spencer.

His stare was hot and intense, and fuck was it making you become a flustered mess. You glanced at him from your peripheral trying your best to be subtle about it, it was getting harder and harder to focus on Hotch and the case, not Reid. But when his puppy dog eyes drifted up, down and all over your body, your body involuntarily reacted, slightly squirming in your seat. Before you could stop yourself, your eyes turn and lock onto his gorgeous brown ones, a smirk graces your lips as he finally notices your eyes now on him. Looking like a kid being caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he turns pink from the embarrassment and shame of being caught, and god did that make your head spin. Now it was his turn to awkwardly squirm in his seat while staring at Hotch with all his attention. You giggle under your breath at his fumbling awkwardness. Before you know it everyone around you starts to pack up their things and stand up, leaving you confused. Of course you spent the whole debriefing paying so little attention to the case and more on Spencer.

Sighing, you pull the hem of your dress down as you stand trying to save yourself from even more embarrassment. “soooo how did it go? Was he as yummy as you’d hoped?” Garcia wraps her arms around yours as you try not to stumble down the stairs towards your desk “you, my love are officially banned from meddling in my love life” you could already hear the trail of complaints bouncing around in her head as you plopped down onto your desk chair, reaching for the new case folder hoping to catch yourself up before take off in the morning “aww come on I for sure thought you’d be jumping his bones, all those rippling muscles, who In Their right mind could resist” the thought of the man you had seen a few hours prior put a foul taste in your mouth, causing your face to scrunch up in disgust “he was a complete dick, he legit referred to himself as an “alpha male” AN ALPHA ,Only thing I wanted to jump , was off a building at that point” a defeated look from her was all the conformation you needed, no longer were you going on blind dates, and your love life was back to being non existent and sad “sorry Pen I tried, I really really tried, you just have horrific taste in men like my god do we need to get you some help. These guys are basically human garbage” whilst looking up your eyes naturally drift and settle on Spencers desk frowning as you watch him, his heads buried in the case file whilst obsessively jotting down notes like some multitasking god, your heart couldn’t help but pine after his more, the looks you shared moments before didn’t help your case either. Resting your chin in the palm of your hand, you drag your eyes away trying to spare yourself from going into one of your Spencer Reid spirals. You look up at Penelope already disliking the pitiful look she was giving you “are you sure your ready to give up?, I mean I know this cute guy who would be super into you, he's just your type “the new voice startled you, turning in your seat you’re met with Emily smirking down at you whilst leaning against your desk inserting herself into the conversation with JJ beside her “wow ok fun, are we all just gonna just dive head first into my personal life?, don’t we have a case to work on?” trying to deter the subject of the conversation off of you was a bust, as the women you call friends gleam down at you with a shared look “yeah no this is too entertaining to sit out on.” you couldn’t believe you were having this conversation right now, letting out a groan you leaned back in your chair covering your face in hopes of hiding the redness in your cheeks “sweetheart, what you need is a good ol one night stand, get a certain pretty boy out of your system” if you weren’t already melting into a puddle of embarrassment, you definitely were now “Morgan shut up please for the love of everything holy”

you could only pray Spencer wasn’t paying attention to the little group that was forming at your desk, maybe he was being good and reading the case file like the rest of them should be doing but of course luck wasn’t in your favor tonight “what are we talking about?” Before you could shut the whole conversation down Morgan happily answered Spencer “oh, we were just discussing Y/L/N’s love life. I think she needs a good root, what do you think?” that stupid smirk Morgan was happily wearing was enough to make your blood boil, now you truly wished to disappear “ok ok that’s enough” you shoot up from your seat avoiding any eye contact with Spencer not wanting to see his reaction to your humiliating red face “conversation over, my love life is going back to being non existent, thank you for your concern but it’s over, officially dead so no more talking about it.” you snatch the file off your desk ready to get the hell out of whatever situation you found yourself in “i'm going home to at least get some sleep before we leave tomorrow or I’ll be a zombie all day” with that you hastily made your way out of the building and into the cool night air once again.

wrapping your arms around yourself in hopes to provide some warmth, you slowly make your way to the car park. Before you could make it to your car you could hear foot steps getting closer and closer until they were right behind you, stopping along with yours once you had reached front of your car. Quickly spinning around you slam them onto the car's hood, arm in your hand, face down and pinned.

“Ow ow ow ow Ow!” Shit. It was Spencer. The man you’ve been daydreaming about and here you were pinning him to the hood of your car. “oh shit sorry, my god, don’t walk up on me like that holy shit Spence you scared me” you pull away off him whilst letting go of his arm and backing away a little. Spencer lets out a hiss of pain as he pushes himself off the hood, rubbing his arm to try and relieve the pain “sorry I was just trying to make sure you got to your car safely. It’s late a-and” he looks at your dress whilst clearing his throat looking away awkwardly “are you ok? you seemed upset in there” he looks back at you whilst giving you a smile that made you wanna pass away on the spot “yeah I’m ok, just having your dating life put on full blast in front of the team like that can be a tad embarrassing” silence was the only response you were met with, you glance up at Spencer trying to think of something, anything to say in this moment “you look really nice by the way, it’s unfortunate your date turned out that way.” His eyes meet yours, your breath gets caught in your throat as heat creeps up your neck to your face “t-thanks” tugging on the hem of your dress you smile sheepishly “not the most comfortable outfit, honestly wish Pen let me wear my sweater but you know”

“Penelope” you both say, you giggle as Spencer chuckles. “Oh by the way, I thought you may want these, may help a little tomorrow” he hands you the notes he took from the briefing, Your fingertips brush against his, the feeling of warmth from his hands sends a shiver down your spine. “Thanks Spence. I appreciate it” you stand there longer than needed before you start to turn away from him. “You know, that even though there aren't any hard statistics, it’s roughly estimated that every 1 in 3 or 4 blind dates actually end up as a success” he rambles on, looking back at him you try to pay attention but you can’t stop your eyes from sifting down towards his lips “so there is a chance” his voice fades away as his words become background noise and your thoughts become louder and louder, all you could think about was him, the feeling of wanting only grew stronger with each passing minute. It didn’t help that his lips were tempting you, calling you in. you couldn’t hold yourself back much longer, will power growing weaker and weaker “fuck it” your body moves before commen sense had its time to put a stop to whatever ridiculous thoughts you had muster up, suddenly your lips press onto his without thinking it through. It was short and one sided yet sweet, the faint taste of coffee and sugar overwhelmed your senses

The sudden realization hits you hard as you push yourself off Reid, the feelings of regret and fear settles itself in your stomach making you feel sick “Sorry I wasn’t thinking, shit sorry, forget that happened ok” you back away keeping your eyes glued to the ground in fear that you’ll look up and only see rejection written on his face. What in the hell possessed you to do that?, why the fuck did you do that, the only reason you kept your feelings shoved down was to protect your friendship with Spencer, nothing meant more to you then the bond you both shared and now you’ve ruined it and for what? A stupid kiss? “wait, uh No no it was just unexpected I didn’t hate it actually quite the opposite” your head snaps back up at a red faced flustered Spencer Reid “don't apologize“ his warm hands warp around your cold ones as he steps closer to you once again “did you um maybe want to try that again? Only if you want to though I don’t want you to regret anything” you giggle as he starts to nervously stumble over his words, this time more confident in your actions your lips find his for the second time tonight.

The taste of coffee meets your lips again as your body relaxes into the kiss, which is very reciprocated this time. The warmth radiating from Spencer chases the cold night air away. As your bodies shuffle closer together. you both hesitantly pull away from each, you wanted to stay here in this moment for as long as possible but of course your bed was calling your name along with the early flight departure. “I should go” you really didn’t want to “I know“ his hands stayed on your waist for a moment before slipping away “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow” the sweet look on his face drove you crazy, the urge to say fuck it and stay with him for the remainder of the night was overpowered by the sleepless night before, you settle for placing a goodnight kiss on his cheek instead “night Spence” winking you open your car door and make your way in, you turn the car on and roll the window down to call out to him as he backs away with a smug smirk on his face “sweet dreams pretty boy” with that you drive away replaying the events of tonight in your mind, god you couldn’t wait to get the case over with so you could finally have a date that wasn’t going to end in ruins, especially with the man you’ve been crushing on since your first day, yeah no you weren’t going to get any sleep tonight now.

[rinnstars]

impressing you!

itoshi rin attempts to tell you he likes you in questionable ways

itoshi rin x reader : fluff, crack, use of brain rot terms, dti mentioned, super bad ending i’m so sorry idk anymore school got me, not proofread + likes and reblogs are appreciated <3

growing up with itoshi rin with all his personality quirks, you were pretty sure you could expect anything and everything from him - whether that be him showing up at your house at midnight without any warnings, or him wearing your hello kitty pajamas after school for ‘fun’, or even eating frozen cheese straight out of the fridge for breakfast. but nothing could prepare you for what the hell he just asked you.

“what.” one chance for him to take back, or more so one chance for you to regain back your sanity from whatever you just swore to god he asked.

“.. i asked if you’d like to play dress to impress together.. you know because youre always playing it during class.” what the hell.

maybe the world was ending, and you look outside only to now be even more dismayed that the sun is in fact shining, the sky is perfectly blue, and there was no cloud in sight. then maybe this was all a dream after spending the previous night playing games, you pinch yourself and to your horror, you do in fact feel the pain as you nip at your own hand, almost yelping to the oblivious rin sitting beside you. or maybe your eyesight is failing you and you’re seriously deluding yourself that its rin simply after being apart from him for months, you think, removing your glasses and wiping it and nope - that was in fact rin, still wearing a blank face that youre far too used to.

“do you even have a roblox account..” you were 100% sure that whatever horror games you’ve seen him play does not involve roblox and he’s probably more likely to be a discord mod than a roblox player - credited to you friending him on steam and seeing the horror of games he has bought on that app

“.. ill make one now.” and you think maybe blue lock has actually rotted rin’s mind or maybe his friends there has corrupted the rin you once knew.

and instead of spending your math class, you know paying attention and doing the work assigned, there you were at the back row playing dress to impress with itoshi rin attempting his best but clearly not dressing to impress anyone to say the least.

and maybe this is a miracle and an awakening because you were so sure since a little kid that itoshi rin, your best friend in this entire world, do not have any weakness - whether that be in sports (for obvious reasons), in arts (getting an A even though he ‘winged it’), in games (carried you in shooting games and horror games) that maybe you’ve finally discovered his achilles heels that is apparently fashion.. and handling getting humbled by kids on roblox.

“why the hell is this kid calling my outfit skibidi toilet” if anything, in your honest reaction, you’d call me something worst than that looking at the total mess of a outfit he was wearing because why the hell is he wearing two hairs at once that do not merge at all. in fact, you’d be polite to even call whatever he’s just made an outfit in the first place because it looks like he genuinely spun a wheel and picked pieces at random.

even funnier is that you can practically see rin’s ear letting out steam - clearly upset that he’s apparently not winning the top place. if anything, you think its funnier because he doesnt even rage like this playing his competitive shooting game, or when he doesnt get a good grade for his exams, or even when he drops his ice cream when you were little, only when he plays soccer and apparently dress to impress. now maybe with his ego, or whatever he said learnt at blue lock, would be able to let him score a goal (win top place with a good outfit)

however, to his dismay, and to your expectation, he in fact does not win top places, not even top 3, by the end of the hour long math lesson.

and to him, he practically just lost the first tip that bachira told him and as he quotes “if you like someone you’ve got to like have shared interest right?” and clearly and unfortunately he just cannot get into dress to impress in the same way that you just aren’t really interested in football which he completely gets. but now he’s in doubt about his own situation and by that he means the love test percentage thing he was convinced to take by again bachihara - failing at a whooping 15% that he was meant to be your soulmate. but if there’s something he’s good at, its perseverance and he will not give up just because multiple kids in the game called him skibidi toilet

and right now he thinks hes absolutely down bad and he is only proving the allegations that he really has a crush on you when hes spending time after football practice to play dress to impress. even worse, hes looking up online guides on “cheatsheets” to get outfits, entering millions of codes to unlock hidden items, spending the entire night playing this game.

and of course, its at 4:30am when you log in only to find one person playing dress to impress and youre pretty sure this is the equivalant to a sleep paralysis demon as you blink all the sleep away in your eyes to confirm the words in front of you: itoshi rin is playing dress to impress in the middle of the night. more specifically, itoshi rin who preaches about taking care of ones body by sleeping early, eating all three meals, doing yoga every single day is ruining his sleep scheuldue for a roblox game. and as all sleep deprived people do, you send him a message to confirm that its in fact him and not a hacker.

chat

you: r u playing dti or have u not logged out of dti since class 😭😭

rin: playing

you: R U ACTLLY INTO DRESS TO IMPRESS… who r u impressing 🙏🏻🙏🏻

rin: you

and you feel your heart stop - and not because of caffeine, or another realisation that yoive forgotten to do your work right in class or winning a lucky draw from the ice cream you share with rin. but then the realisation hits and youre now instead let down because of course sleep deprived him would say such words that unfortunately made your heart pump because of all the years you’ve known him, you know that whenever he doesnt sleep well, he always becomes a different person, spouting nonsense about everything and anything as all the logic that he’s so used to melts away from his brain. and so you without thinking close your phone and leave itoshi rin on read.

and maybe its even worse that when you wake up, you realise rin sends you the number of stars he’s collected over his overnight grind that’s somehow more than the amount you’ve gathered throughout the weeks of playing dress to impress and even funnier because he’s clearly texting the wrong person.

chat

rin: (1 attachement)

rin: is this a good rank bachiara

rin: should i check if mine n y/n’s soulmate on that love website increased

you: shld be 100%

rin: from 15%?

you: i’m more accurate than it btw r u still on dti

rin: ?

rin: oh ignore

you: no lets play tgt actlly vote me 5* i need to have more stars than u

and you can’t wait to go to math class to play dress to impress with rin at the back of the class (spoiler alert: he won all the rounds somehow) now dating (he gives you five stars)

[circuitcircus]

in defense of kabumisu……..

addressing things I see people say about why kabru being shipped w mithrun is ‘bad’ or why their canon relationship ‘doesn’t mean anything’ while also clearing up misconceptions of the characters some fans have

listen it keeps popping up and I just gotta do this or my brain will melt (if you don’t see it around then god I wish that were me) there’s an age gap!- erm there’s also an age gap in farcille (ily), the most popular ship in the series...also chilchuck looks like a kid but a lot of fans recognize him as a dilf because of his relative age, so there should be no age gap discourse among adult characters because it feels so conditional tbh

kabru taking care of mithrun is racist!- marcille likes to take care of others as well. is that sexist, or just an aspect of her character?

kabru isn’t treated like a servant, waiting on mithrun hand and foot…I mean he gives mithrun a foot massage but no one told him to do all that lmfao

he's also not the only one to care for mithrun. pattadol is shown to worry for him and milsril was the one to start taking care mithrun in the first place after he…...y’know. speaking of which-

they probably met when kabru was a kid!- neither of them showed signs of recognizing each other the entire time mithrun was introduced nor when they were together. and im pretty sure KABRU of all people would show some kind of recognition if they'd met before. it's kabru!!! the people person!!! mr. "i-noted-down-50+-characters-in-this-dude's-backstory-for-fun-and-actually-enjoy-social-gatherings"

you would think some kind of memory would come back to him especially after hearing mithrun’s backstory if milsril had even told kabru about him as a kid. but nope. it’s just fan speculation unless there's a side comic suggesting otherwise that i haven't seen

mithrun doesn't care about kabru, his shapeshift double looked like shit!- it's obviously because of mithrun's (then) lack of desires that it looked like that, but they really grow on each other

i think it's safe to assume it'd look more like kabru after they spent so much time together (also laios can barely even remember kabru's name..also saw his face multiple times and didn’t recognize him when they talked for the first time)

mithrun is racist!- he’s actually the least likely character to be racist since he lost his desires and that includes a desire for superiority over others. he even calls his past self out on that part of himself. the other elves in that side comic were being just as racist to shorter lived races but just didn’t use ‘outdated slurs’

(unfortunately literally every main character in dunmeshi is at least a lil prejudiced, but I believe it’s worldbuilding and a sign of the times rather than a reason ryoko kui is giving to hate each character)

taking care of others is a pain in the ass!- saying this as a reason kabru and mithrun shouldn't be together is basically saying disabled people shouldn't be allowed to have romantic relationships because they're a "burden"...if someone is actually willing to put in the work, then let them be.

that's not even all of their relationship, mithrun is the fighter of their duo and kabru would've been killed by the shapeshifter or something if he'd fallen down the hole on his own since he sucks at fighting monsters. mithrun helps collect ingredients for cooking every time, too (barometz fruits and griffin egg). he pulls his weight and then some!! i feel like people forget that part of mithrun a lot somehow.

+senshi literally cooks for everyone all time. it's kind of an important aspect of the narrative.

+also, while it is a popular fan thing I see around that kabru handfeeds mithrun, he literally never does lol this is mithrun using his own hands to eat:

also here we have him washing his own body

just saying because people like to treat mithrun like a baby even though the narrative respects him as a capable adult who also has special needs because of an accident. he’s captain for a reason

kabru hates taking care of mithrun!- not exactly, he was initially surprised and put off but got used to it quickly. i’m sure he’s grateful for all the times mithrun saved him from a monster and teleported them out of danger as well

he even starts doing “unnecessary” things for mithrun’s comfort and safety like when mithrun pushes himself too hard fighting, even after his mission to take care of him was complete when the canaries came back

here is even kabru resting while mithrun keeps watch (mithrun let him sleep for 5 hours before waking him up from the nightmare earlier, too):

there's nothing more to their relationship!- they actually have had a very tight and consistent dynamic since they met and they incite the most change within each other by the end. kabru is the one who inspires mithrun to create new desires so he doesn't waste away, and mithrun is the first person we see kabru being genuine with and it leads him to be more honest with others by the end instead of tiptoeing around everyone all the time (that mask was also the reason some ppl initially disliked kabru…)

kabru’s relationship with mithrun is honestly so important for his character and vice versa, but it’s often disregarded because of one over exaggerated aspect of it (an aspect that isn’t even the first way they interact with each other) or because people want to just straight up ignore it for some reason 🥲🥲

kui dedicates many panels to them that don't particularly serve the narrative as a whole in order to demonstrate this and i think that's pretty significant

you're taking this too seriously!- as if i'm the first person in the world to be crazy about a ship or the characters 😭 i love analyzing text and it's upsetting to see them mischaracterized when kui lays out the characters so clearly and deliberately

also they end up touching each other like all the time and have the kind of canon validation most ppl can only dream of lol i feel so insane look at this:

and this is just when they're first getting to know each other cuz there's a fuckload more

kinda hard to explain how i don't actually need them to get married or whatever but i'd die on this hill for them and i enjoy their dynamic immensely

haha you thought you were reading ship discourse but it was actually a character analysis 🤪🤪🤪

also don’t somehow take this to mean I think anyone has to ship them, I just need everyone to understand these accusations kind of don’t make sense especially when they can also apply to other pairs or characters

bonus kabru just looking at mithrun:

[foundfamilyhq]

Propaganda under readmore:

At the end of Young Sheldon, his character displays grief in such a moving and honest way that I don't think you really ever see that often. At least, not in a way one would expect from a show like Young Sheldon. On the outside he appears cold and unmoved by the death of his father, but in actuality he keeps repeating the last time he saw him in his head over and over. Thinking of the many different things he could have said or done before he left his life forever. Should he have said bye? Should he have said I love you? He uses Star Trek to help cope, but that makes him come off as inconsiderate too. He starts to realize how much he underappreciated his dad, and wants to say something at his funeral. But he says nothing. He regrets not saying anything then, and he regrets never saying when he was alive. Sheldon never cries about his father's death once, but you can still see the pain and utter despair in his face.

(the rest is copied from my old propaganda cuz I was proud of it lol) HEAR ME OUT. We can FIX HIM! (not the autism btw. That's his best feature) He is still an innocent kid! A kid who has yet to learn to be a bigoted and prejudiced asshole. A kid who is mocked and bullied for the sin of being kinda annoying and hard to understand. A kid who is growing up in a toxic environment that encourages him to change for the worse.

If he gets adopted, he could be given the kind of support and understanding that he never had. He could be taught how to respect others and why that's important.

Sheldon Cooper at his finest is a smart, silly, and quirky little guy. And even with his flaws, just imagine the power the family could gain from this kid. Imagine the hijinks that he could get into with everyone! Just, Bazinga-ing all over the place. It's a silly and fun picture!

And if you don't like that, imagine different characters studying him to see what his deal is. Or different characters trying to fix him to varying degrees of success.

Please adopt the young Sheldon Cooper! He's autistic, has OCD, hoarding behaviors, and is asexual and arospec (if not aroace), and maybe more that I forgot! (*got the ocd/hoarding from his adult version, but I don't think it's a big stretch to apply to the kid him, or at least whatever he grows up to be)

Anyway, PLEASE LET SHELDON COOPER IN THE FOUND FAMILY! We can still save him from the adult he is yet to become!!!

[autisticrosewilson]

Hiii!! Do you have any Jason & Catherine, Jason & Willis headcanons to spare?? Alsoo, permission to use on fics? 👀

Thank YOU FOR THE ASK!! And of course I love when people use my headcanons!!

For Jason and Catherine I think he gets his love of theatre, especially musicals, from Cathy. She seems like the type to study classics or work at an antique shop or something and a lot of their apartment used to be decorated with assorted knickknacks. It was a little bit of push back against her Catholic upbringing which demonized earthly pleasures and material goods.

Admittedly she used to have hoarder tendencies, she would get very attached to her collections, they became a crutch for her while caring for her mother and after her mother's death, and I think this is what inspired Jason's tendency to keep as little on him at all times. He couldn't stand the clutter for the first few months after Willis was arrested.

I've mentioned it before but I think a big part of why they never had a kid of their own after taking in Jason is because Catherine was scared of passing down her hereditary disease, especially because in my version she originally comes back to Gotham to take care of her sick mom. In this way she spares Jason from dying like her and her mother, but she ultimately fails to save him the pain of watching his mom deteriorate right in front of him.

Jason comes by his autism honestly, from both parents. Neither Catherine or Willis were particularly aware of it but they totally understood all of Jason's interests and his insistence on rigid routines. Neighbors and teachers would be like "don't you find how isolated he is odd?" And they would be like "Nope :) kneeling on the playground collecting rocks and organizing the classroom bookshelf during recess are perfectly normal. And so is him crying when the lights are too bright and eating his food section by section."

I know that Jason was the CHUNKIEST baby, I know it I was there. Catherine and Willis dressed him as a pumpkin as often as they could and he made all the girls and old people in the apartment SWOON and fawn over him. He didn't even have teeth and he was raking in candy.

Catherine and Willis had VERY different parenting techniques, Cathy grew up on a farm going to church every Sunday in Virginia while Willis grew up running Gotham's streets with little to no reliable supervision. So Catherine was kind of a helicopter mom because Jason was her miracle kid, while Willis was a lot more laid back. Which isn't to say that Willis loved him less, but Willis prefers to teach Jason to be self sufficient because he knows exactly what it takes to survive in Gotham.

Willis always wanted to take Jason fishing but due to it being Gotham...that never happened. Regardless, he tries to hit as many of the typical father-son milestones as he could because he never really got to do those things with his own father. Jason wasn't particularly sporty, but he was canonically a baseball fan and I also think he's a hockey fan, so that's something him and Willis bonded over. They definitely found their favorite bonding activity working on cars together though (can someone say shared special interest).

I actually think Jason gets his love of cooking from Willis! I imagine he worked with a lot of street food vendors and at a lot of different mom and pop restaurants, he seems like the type who bounced from a lot of different jobs throughout his teen and college years so he's kind of a jack of all trades and has a bunch of niche skills from his EXTENSIVE career. Willis Todd is much like Barbie to me. But anyway he passed down a lot of those recipes and his love for food and different cultures to Jason. Catherine can cook but after growing up being told it would always be her responsibility, something she was obligated to do as a wife, Willis's delight in doing domestic tasks like that is part of what drew her to him.

Willis had a picture of Jason in his wallet and he bragged about Jason to anyone who would listen so a lot of people recognized Jason on the streets, which put a target on his back but also so many of Willis's friends (exes) knew Jason that part of why Jason survived so long is that people were a lot more willing to help him. There was a not insignificant community of Crime Alley who were delighted as well as suspicious when Jason was adopted. There was a candlelight vigil held for him after he died since no one got to attend the funeral.

Jason has always had Catherine's smile, and he still does. It's amazing how easy it was for her to pass as his bio mom, if you raise someone long enough they'll eventually start to emulate you. No one ever denied that Jason was Cathy's. No one knew Catherine was pregnant? Some of Jay's traits are... unaccounted for? Nope Jason has the same speech patterns and gets the same look when he's judging someone and has that same light in his eyes when he's reading a particularly good book.

In tribute to them he has a tattoo of a shield surrounded by lilies. The shield is for Willis because in some languages his name means resolute protector, and the lilies are for Catherine because like her name they mean purity.

After moving in with Bruce after finding out Willis died he asked to hold funerals for both of them and they have matching headstones at Gotham cemetery. For Catherine's he chose a Bible quote (Timothy 1:7) and for Willis's he chose a dedication to the only version of Willis he knew (loving father, devoted husband, friend of many, brave till the end). The ceremony was public and the venue was overflowing with people who had known Willis, Jason learned more about his dad than he'd ever known before listening to their memories of him. Ma Gunn was still in jail but when word got back to her she sent a letter to Wayne Manor thanking him, because she might be a hateful old bitch but that was still her son.

[nexternalknowsthingz]

I said that I wrote stuff so I kinda wanted to post a short one shot I wrote-

It was a hot summer day. Mid 100’s. My face was scorched and sweaty from working in the blistering heat. My hands and wrists were sore from carrying the heavy roofing up the ladder. My back ached with agonizing pain, carrying roofing may not seem so bad but when you do it everyday it really takes a toll on ya.

I got at the house I was roofin’ at about eight am, it was now four pm. Boy, was I exhausted. I tried to think about other things to keep my mind away from the fact that my face was getting severely sunburned. I was slightly pondering why I even bothered coming in to work today, but then I remember that I do it for them, my brothers, and I keep going.

My shift was almost over now, I had about one hour left of work. Unfortunately for me I only had two other guys with me today, they were both younger than me so I gave them the okay to take a break. I sighed and climbed down the tall, rickety ladder so I could grab a quick sip of water. I walked over to my bag and got my water but then I overheard something I really didn’t like.

There was a woman and her young kid walking by the house. She looked at me with pure disappointment and disapproval. As if she could judge, I thought bitterly. She leaned down to her kids height and whispered in his ear.

“This is why you don’t slack off in school, Oliver. This is why you go to college.” Her voice was bitter and judgmental.

I could feel my face grow hot, not from the sunburns though, nope, they didn’t bother me anymore. My face was hot from anger. I felt my face tense, my chin clenched and my eyes squinted. I wanted to yell, hell I wanted to scream at her for assuming the worst about me. She had no damn idea how hard I worked, how much I had to give up.

The woman walked off and dragged her son along with her. Her son looked back at me though, his eyes weren’t judgmental. His eyes were big and curious, almost like Pony’s. My face softened and I let myself cool off.

I thought more about why I was doing this, I mean I knew I was doing this job for my brothers but why? Why did it matter so much? I thought of Pony, how he was going to achieve all the things I couldn’t. He was going to do what I wanted to do because I sacrificed it for him. And Sodapop, I thought about how he dropped out of school just to help me out. I thought of my little brother’s faces, and how devastated they would’ve been if I gave them up. I shook my head to come back into reality, and as I did I felt different than what I had felt one moment ago.

I felt more confident and less angry. I realized that what this random woman thought of me didn’t matter. I knew why I was working here, I knew why I roofed houses, I knew why I didn’t go to college. She didn’t know anything, and she didn’t need to either.

“Darry! You gonna come back and help us or what?” My coworker yelled.

I looked at my coworker and nodded. “Yeah, sorry man.” I yelled as I began walking back to my ladder.

I climbed back up the ladder and began to work.

[fivelakesinwriting]

Six Little Harringtons (S. Harrington)

Author's Notes: This turned into more than what I had intended - Steve and his wife take the kids on their annual road trip all while taking a (somewhat painful) trip down memory lane.

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references - innuendos, mentions of grief/ death, *contains brief (personal) theories about what might happen in the final season of Stranger Things, parenting/children, pregnancy, fluff!

Requested: Nope!

*My work is not to be transferred, copied, translated or reposted to any other sites without my permission. And you do not have permission. Please see my masterlist for all other works and warnings. Thank you! xoxo

The first Summer was easy. It was just him, the wife and Junior in the station wagon heading down to the coast. A little trailer hitched to the back of the car and away they went. Sunshine, sand, more cassette tapes than anyone knew what to do with and a surfboard no one knew how to use.

Then the twins were born. Three little Harrington's smiled back at him in the rearview mirror that Summer. He was vacuuming Cheerios and Lego pieces out of the backseat until almost Christmas.

Baby number four, the Hellraiser, was a total surprise. They felt like they had finally gotten into a routine with the other three kids and then after a particularly rowdy night out, she came to him one morning and told him she was pregnant again.

Well, fuck.

They swore they were done after number four, because she had been such a handful.

"She's Hell incarnate." Steve muttered late one night after a long battle of trying to get their restless toddler to sleep.

But even as a husband and father, Steve was insatiable with the sex drive of a teenager. Which was why when she told him she was pregnant for a fifth time all he could do was laugh and pull her in for a kiss, while giving himself a silent pat on the back.

That Spring he invested in a Winnebago, cleaned it up and got it ready for the Summer. Then one blazing hot Saturday morning in July he helped load all five kids into the RV. Three boys, two girls and all the comforts of home they required to make it a smooth ride.

"Alright, Harrington's. Are we ready?" Steve smiled as he buckled the last seatbelt on the last baby seat, then ran a hand through his hair.

"Steve! Can you help me, please?" His wife called for him at the bottom of the RV steps.

"Yeah! I'm coming, honey. Stay where you are." Steve replied with a tickle to the bottom of his youngest daughter's foot before he stood up and hurried out of the RV.

"Honey, I would have brought this out. You know you're not supposed to lift anything heavy right now." He uttered as he took the cooler filled with snacks for their brood. He lifted it up into the RV, checked on the kids once more pleased to see them all snoozing peacefully in their seats and gently closed the door.

"Are we stupid for doing this?" His wife asked with her hands on her hips, looking up at him.

"Road trip with five kids? Yeah. But it's tradition." Steve smiled as he placed a soft kiss to her forehead and smoothed a hand on her growing stomach.

"Wait until the RV is full of angry teenagers, then we'll see how much you like this tradition." She laughed with a kiss to his chin.

"What are you talking about? I was a dream as a teenager." Steve scoffed before he pat her hips and made his way to the drivers side.

"I know you're lying, Harrington."

..

They only drove for about four hours that first day. Two hours, a break for a picnic and a run around in the park, and then two more hours. They ended up at a beach near their motel, but nowhere near their destination. If having five kids taught Steve anything, he knew to let them run out their energy before bed time. Especially on a road trip.

"When we started dating, did you think we'd end up here?" His wife asked as they sat on the sand and watched the kids laugh and play along the shoreline. Cartwheels, kicking a ball and playing tag. Five little best friends.

"Are you asking if when I found you abandoned on the streets of Hawkins ten years ago if I thought that we'd be married with a bunch of kids? Definitely not. I didn't think we'd make it through the night." Steve laughed softly, the grief and trauma still tangible.

They had met days after Steve returned from the Upside Down, after the loss of Eddie Munson. Hawkins was in flames, the city quickly burning to the ground. Residents were evacuating as quickly as they could, leaving all belongings behind.

Steve was swerving and speeding through the wreckage of the streets when he drove passed her home. Covered in dirt and soot, she sat on the front lawn of what was once her home. He couldn't explain his actions, but he couldn't just drive by her. He slammed on his brakes and yelled for her to get in.

She had been by his side throughout the fall of Hawkins. At first he thought they had been paired by tragedy, but as time went on he realized that life was easier when she was around.

The smell of smoke was overwhelming. Burning buildings, torched cars and inflamed foliage surrounded the once quaint town of Hawkins.

His stomach was in knots and his body was sore, but he had to keep going. He got in his car and drove as fast as the old Volvo would go, the engine rattling under the hood as he pressed the accelerator. He rounded the corner of a familiar street, ignoring a stop sign. The city was in ruins, traffic signs no longer mattered to him.

It was her (once) white denim jacket that caught his eye. A jacket covered in dirt and soot from the fires. She was sat on the front lawn of what he presumed was her home, crying. A girl no older than himself, all alone in a crumbling world.

"Get in! It's not safe here!" Steve yelled through his open window.

She asked no questions. She got up from the front lawn and ran towards the car, climbing into the passenger side.

"I'm Steve." He breathed out as he pressed the accelerator once more.

"Callie."

She had stayed at his side through the remainder of the fall of Hawkins. Held his hand as he watched his friends perish, helped him rebuild his life while they rebuilt the town.

The first boy, while nicknamed Junior due to his uncanny resemblance to Steve, was legally named Edward - Eddie - after the boy who gave his life for Hawkins. He had been born with a full head of dark hair, like Steve, and eyes like his mother. Steve didn't think he could love anyone more than Callie, until he met his son.

They had not planned on naming the rest of the kids after anyone else from the Hawkins Tragedy, but the more they thought about it, the more they wanted their friends to live on in more than just local folklore.

The twins were Ellie, affectionately called El after her namesake, and Will. Both named after the two teens that had sacrificed their lives for their friends and for Hawkins. Callie hadn't know them for as long as Steve had, but her life was equally as enriched for having known them.

The fifth was a boy, Harry, named after Steve's grandfather. Steve admittedly didn't have much of a relationship with his actual parents, but his grandfather had been a major influence in his life and when he saw his fourth child, it was like looking into his grandfather's eyes.

The fourth baby, the Hellraiser, was named Maxine, after the girl who had given Steve the most grief during those early days in Hawkins. The original hellion in his life, and the girl he would have died to protect if he could have. While the girl was still alive, she wasn't able to live her life the way she had before. He had told her he named their child after her, and Max gripped his hand and gave him a smile from her hospital bed.

"Alright, Team Harrington! Time to go to the motel and get some sleep! We've got some driving to do tomorrow." Steve called out to his children as he stood up from his spot on the sand then extended his hands to help up his pregnant wife.

They got all the kids back in their respective car seats and made their way to their motel for the night. After three bedtime stories, one about a girl named El, the kids fell asleep. Little Maxine asleep in the bed with them, her foot in Steve's back.

There once was a girl named El, who was the most powerful girl in the world..

Steve and Callie laid in the bed together facing one another while the kids snored softly in the bed and cribs surrounding the room.

"What are you thinking about?" Callie asked softly as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"You, and all of this." Steve whispered back as he gestured around the room.

"Can you believe that we're going to have our sixth baby?" She laughed.

"Oh, yeah. My plan to have a family band is pretty well complete. Just one more kid to go. She's going to be the tambourine player." Steve smirked as he placed a hand on her belly between them.

"And have you decided on a name for our tambourine player, finally?" Callie asked as she ran her thumb over his hairline.

"I've been thinking about the name Malia." Steve replied as his eyes fluttered shut, feeling her soft fingers on his face.

"I love it. Malia it will be. The last piece of our puzzle." Callie smiled before she placed a soft kiss to his scruffy chin.

"Now if Max would get her foot out of my back, everything would be perfect."

[wutheringmights]

I wanted to read one last book to close out the year, so I shopped through my bookshelf for a small little novel I could read in a few days and ended up pulling out my copy of The Catcher In The Rye by J.D. Salinger (CITR).

I never read CITR in high school. My AP teacher had the privilege of being able to assign us non-state standard readings and took full advantage of it. And in college, professors just assume you've already been forced to read it. But, nope. Not me.

I actually bought my copy many years ago from Goodwill when I lived in [redacted city], then proceeded to forget about it until now. I only mention this because my copy is apparently the UK edition and doesn't have so much as a synopsis on the back. So beyond knowing a little bit about the misinterpreted poem scene and that everyone HATES Holden Caulfield, I had no idea what this book was even about.

And... holy fuck.

This book is AMAZING.

At first, I just thought it was funny. I was enjoying how much of a shit head Holden is, and all the ways he is such a teenager. He's insightful, but draws some of the dumbest conclusions you have ever seen. He thinks he's so suave and cool, and it's so clear that everyone thinks he's a loser. He wants so badly to be thought well of by his peers while not respecting any of them. I love how Salinger writes his narration, how he branches off into little anecdotes about barely related topics.

But at some point, I just got so sad for him. I'm not sure where exactly it hit me, but at some point you can't help but see how tragic he is. He truly is in so much pain and has no idea how to process any of it. He's traumatized and has been failed by every adult in his life. No one is helping him.

But for a character that has such a reputation for being a manipulative man, he really does seem like a child who is scared to grow up. I was surprised to find out that the titular catcher in the rye monologue was about wanting to protect the innocence of other kids. With the way people discuss this kid, you would think he was conspiring to kill, well, John Lennon.

By the end of the story, when he's with Phoebe at the carousel and he's feeling happy for once in his life, I was crying (or as Holden would say, that killed me).

I then proceeded to spend the next twenty minutes staring at the ceiling, just trying to make sense of it all.

It's such a shame that this novel has been so thoroughly marred by its controversy. I tried to talk to my sister about it afterwards, and she just got really hung up about how she always thought Holden Caulfied was a "psycho" and "one-step away from being a school shooter."

Which, no? Did we even read the same book? Are we still talking about the same kid? He's a brat, but he's not out there to hurt anyone one.

I'm not sure how I would have felt about this book had I actually read it in high school. On one hand, I had a hefty respect for classics when I was a teen and would never dare claim that any one of them is terrible or stupid (except The Great Gatsby). But on the other, I think that a teacher that tried to teach this novel as Holden being a character who has profound thoughts and sees through the veneer of polite society (like apparently how it was taught to my brother)... I mean, I would have believed it but adult me certainly doesn't agree.

This book definitely lays a blueprint for Robert Cormier's entire catalogue, and I was obsessed with his books in junior high. So I probably would have inevitably liked CITR.

I'm glad I waited until now to read it. Teenage me wouldn't have understood everything in it. Older and (hopefully) wiser me does, and she will defend Holden Caulfield with her life.

[blametheeditor]

Voretober Day 21 | Ginger

Voretober Prompt List

First | Previous | Next

If given the opportunity, would you take the chance to go to space and travel the stars? What if the person offering to take you was someone you trusted more than anyone else?

What if that person is no longer entirely human?

CONTAINS SOFT VORE

Content Warnings: Soft, non-sexual vore. Unwilling, unconscious prey. Mentions of body horror. Mentions of experimenting on people. Mentions of death and murder, violence. Being trapped against one's will. Chase scene, mentions of bounty hunters. Dehumanization. Abductions. Cursing. Darker themes/tone

___________________________________

“How long has he been at it for?” 

Scott sends a glance over at the clock in the kitchen he could get lost in and mistaken for a bug trying to invade the food. “About an hour.” 

Vincent hums. “Any progress?” 

“Nope,” he replies, popping the p.

Apparently Mike’s dad had been wrong. His son didn’t get the ability to grow into a giant within a year. Or the one after that, or the one after that. Not for the lack of trying on  Mike’s part, though. The kid’s been consistent with his training on how to be a proper giant, something Vincent started him on once it got close to his 13th birthday. 

It included a lot more things than both Scott and Mike weren’t expecting. Like being able to keep a calm mind no matter what’s going on around him, being able to control his strength, and having good spatial recognition. There were a few extra things like self-defense lessons in case it’s ever needed in which Scott is an active participant in, as well as curtesy training. Because apparently smiling with your teeth on full display isn’t a friendly gesture across all planets. 

But Mike’s nearly 16, and the only growing he’s done puts him on the average height for most humans his age with absolutely no sign of getting to the catastrophic heights Colossians are known for. 

He still keeps at it. Sits in the giant area near the doorway like he is now, eyes closed as he concentrates on willing himself to grow to the size of a skyscraper. 

Vincent leans against the wall opposite of Scott by the doorway. Fails to hide a wince. “I was thinking about going planetside. Grab a few things for the larger side.” 

“I’d be up for a trip,” Scott says. “How’s the pain today?” 

The purple man sighs. “Not great. Finding a certain chemical meant to help with regenerating cells might be on the list of things to get.” 

He won’t pretend to understand how that’s supposed to help. He has certainly become a lot more familiar with the fact Vincent is essentially a cyborg, one that needs repairs every now and then. And while there learning curb from fairly simplistic computers he was taught how to code back on Earth to highly advanced technology that keeps an entire person alive, Scott knows what to do without needing to be told. 

Like how to turn off Vincent’s entire nervous system while the purple man replaced a few parts. How to do a hard restart when he does the most idiotic stunt imaginable and leaps off a ten story building to make an almost flawless escape from the authorities. Apparently it would’ve worked out perfectly if someone didn’t get a lucky shot right as he jumped to throw off his balance. 

When it comes to more complicated procedures, Mike’s in charge with Scott waiting to be given instructions. Those have been few and far in between, but when Vincent managed to damage what keeps everything powered, the kid was the only one who could understand the complicated steps to fix it. 

There hasn’t been any major repairs lately, but growing to the size of a giant has taken a toll on Vincent. So much so he’s been sleeping almost every night. Mike said his dad theorized about this happening after a few years, therefore it’s less concerning and more annoying in the purple man’s eyes. He had gotten far too used to feeling unstoppable, and now he wants to do nothing more than flop face first onto a bed and sleep forever as to not deal with the reality he is, in fact, human. 

Scott would be a lot more amused if Vincent wasn’t in pain. Not an excruciating amount where it’s unbearable, but noticeable. Though both he and Mike refuse to turn off his pain receptors knowing how much trouble the purple man could get into without realizing it. 

“Mike hasn’t found the right formula yet?” 

“No, but we’re getting close.” Vincent turns to lean out the doorway. “Hey Mikey, want to take a break and go planetside with me?” 

Mike’s eyes snap open, a wide smile appearing as he stands up. “Hell yeah, is Scott coming?” 

“Of course Scott is coming,” the young man in question scowls. “Especially when the last time you two went somewhere alone, you were gone for hours because you somehow upset the local authorities.” 

“It was his fault,” the two proclaim simultaneously, complete with pointing fingers. 

“It was both your faults,” Scott growls as he walks into the giant area in the silent demand the only person who can pilot the ship starts making his way toward the helm. “And I still don’t want to know how the hell you did it.” 

“It was Vincent’s fault,” Mike stage whispers as he quickly follows. 

A shoe the size of a bus lands directly beside them before walking away. “Mikey dared me to.” 

Scott glares after the catastrophic footsteps. Rather than yell after his best friend, he glances over at Mike. Sees the awed expression at watching the giant walk away. “So how’s giving Vince a taste of his own medicine going?” 

“It’s going,” Mike grins. “Might be another few months until I can pocket him.” 

“You made sure he promised to let you do it at least once, right?” 

“Of course! I’m just as excited for it as you are.” 

To be honest, he thinks Vincent’s excited as well. The purple man certainly enjoys being giant and grows whenever he gets the chance, but he’s made small comments about never getting a day off. How nice it’d be if someone can carry him everywhere. Taunts that if he and Scott ever end up in a pocket together, he’s leaving the shorter behind and climbing up to the shoulder to enjoy the view alone. 

Oh, he knows Vincent will be absolutely ecstatic about the new ways he could torture Scott with a second giant around, but that’s just one side of it. He sees Mike finally growing as a win in all aspects. Though he has another thing coming if he doesn’t think there won’t be any kind of retaliation. 

“Hey Scott?” 

“What?” 

Mike hesitates. “Are you worried about when I finally grow?” 

Scott looks over to find blue eye watching him curiously. “How so?” 

“Well,” the kid begins, looking up in thought. “I know we talk a lot about how I’ll pocket Vincent, and trap him in my hands, and leave him stranded on the counter. Are you worried I’ll do any of that to you?” 

Worried? Most certainly. He’s watched Mike grow up, and as good as a kid he is, pranks and teasing are common on the ship. Usually Vincent’s involved in some way or another, but there’s times when the youngest is the sole culprit for his food getting doused in the alien equivalent of hot sauce and being led on a wild goose chase trying to find his sketchbook. 

But Mike never has been and never will be cruel. So as much as it still terrifies him having a giant teenager around, he knows he’ll never be in danger. Nor would he be picked up without permission, at least until he’s comfortable receiving pokes and prods from someone who isn’t his best friend. 

“Not as worried as Vince should be,” Scott answers. 

Mike chuckles. “Definitely not.” 

“You know I can hear everything you say,” Vincent rumbles as they finally make it to the control room, glancing over his shoulder to shoot them a flat look. 

“Good,” Mike fires back. “Maybe you’ll stop dangling me if you know I’ll do it back!” 

Scott takes the precaution of moving away from Mike and closer to the wall. As soon as the ship has landed, Vincent walks over until he’s standing toe-to-toe with the kid, the giant looking straight down as the small form looking absolutely minuscule in comparison defiantly stares straight up. 

“You know I could crush you.” 

“I already would’ve climbed up your shoe before you could think about it.” 

A sneer spreads across Vincent’s face. “Wanna bet?” 

Mike shakes out his limbs and rolls his head. “Your move.” 

“Can this wait until after the market?” Scott interrupts, all too familiar with how long something like this can take. And that’s if Mike doesn’t end up getting eaten by the end of it. 

The two seem to think it over until the teenager nods. Vincent takes it as confirmation everyone is ready to go, kneeling down to quickly scoop both of them up before walking out of the ship. 

Scott yells as he’s sent head over heels, his limbs entangled with Mike’s as they land in a heap in Vincent’s palm. “Vince!” 

“I thought it was time to head into the market,” the giant smirks, all too amused by the sight of Mike and him attempting to untangle themselves. 

As the younger finally manages to free himself, he runs across Vincent’s wrist and up the arm, catching the purple man’s short sleeve after leaping up in order to pull himself onto the shoulder. All while Scott is trying his hardest to orient himself. 

But despite having been left behind, when the hand lifts up so he can climb onto the shoulder as well, albeit without parkouring his way up, Mike’s offering a hand to help. 

He takes it. Is given his customary seat next to the collar so he can hang on in case Vincent makes too quick of a turn. Or starts running when he inevitably gets chased down by the authorities for one reason or another. 

For someone who wants to lie low, he certainly has a knack for doing the exact opposite. 

“So what’s on the list?” Mike asks. 

“Medicine. Possibly a translator for Scotty.” 

“Not happening.” 

“A few things to add to the giant kitchen,” Vincent says. “And anything you two see.” 

“Maybe you finally get a shirt with proper handholds,” Scott grouses. 

The giant shrugs. “If you manage to find someone who sells Colossian shirts that can shrink and grow with me, I’ll buy everything they have to offer.” 

“That what you said last time,” Scott huffs. 

“And he’ll say it next time too,” Mike grins. 

Unfortunately, they don’t find Colossian clothing. And no matter how hard Scott tries, Vincent refuses to get anything made of material that won’t completely shrink down with him. Not when they could get into an emergency, or he forgets to take the jacket off, and ends up swimming in the material without knowing which way is up. At this point Scott’s just going to find out how to make it himself. 

What they do find are ingredients only Vincent and Mike are familiar with, but they’re fairly positive it will give them the same concoction created to help rejuvenate cells even if they’re decaying. He won’t dare touch them unless he’s given explicit instruction to, but he hopes it will be helpful. 

Just as they’re about to start walking back to the ship, Vincent freezes. “Shit.” 

“Vincent!” a very loud voice bellows through the crowd, followed by words Scott can’t understand. But he clearly understood the first one. But based off the way Mike’s expression hardens, and the muscles they’re standing on tensing, he knows it only means trouble. 

It only gets worse when he finally gets a good look at the alien. One that reminds him a lot like an alligator, with ginger colored scales covering its entire body and long, pointed teeth flashing every time it opens its mouth. It also stands a good head taller than Vincent, and has a wide array of weapons strapped to a belt. 

Mike gets as close as he possibly can, one hand latching onto the collar as the other grab’s Scott’s arm. “Hold on tight.” 

Not even a second after he grabs the collar, Vincent bolts. There’s been a few times where the purple man has run and even jumped while he’s been on the shoulder, and when it’s only Mike he’s guaranteed scaled up buildings, but this is the first time Scott’s been treated to something like this. Where Vincent’s main focus is to get away and not how his actions are effecting his smaller companions. 

It’s both terrifying and exhilarating. Until the giant skids to a halt before changing directions as he sprints in a different direction, and Scott’s positive the only reason why he hasn’t fallen off yet is because Mike’s keeping him securely on the shoulder. 

“W-What happened?” he dares to ask. 

“Someone hired a bounty hunter,” Mike murmurs, meets Scott’s wide eyes with a pointed look. “You can guess who it was.” 

Him? After three years and only now he’s sent someone to track Vincent down? With a bounty hunter? “Because we didn’t take you home?” 

“She didn’t mention my name specifically,” Mike says. “I think that’s part of it, but not the only reason why.” 

“Fuck,” interrupts his thoughts on the other reasons. Focuses back on what Vincent’s doing to see they’re in an alleyway. “Fuck, she got me.” 

“What?” Scott asks, heart skipping a beat at the panic in his best friend’s voice. “What do you mean got you?” 

“A dart,” the giant pants, out of breath, sounding tired. “I thought she missed, I ducked but it nicked my arm fuck!” 

“Left!” 

Vincent doesn’t question Mike’s shout. He makes a hard left into an even smaller alleyway as they hear something metallic bounce off the wall. Makes an immediate right after that, bursting into a rather crowded street. He’s quick as he maneuvers his way to a smaller street. 

“S-So what is it?” 

“Tranquilizer. I can already feel my arm going numb.” 

There’s genuine fear creeping into Vincent’s voice. And considering who sent the bounty hunter, what will happen if he’s caught, Scott doesn’t blame him. 

“You need to shrink,” Mike declares. 

“She’ll know I can.” 

“You’re going to crash, Vincent,” the younger says. “Shrinking down and holing ourselves up somewhere until you recover is better than you going unconscious in the middle of the street for her to easily pick up.” 

“There’s no small passages around here.” 

“We’ll make one,” Scott chimes in, trying his hardest not to let his voice quiver. “In a small alleyway or on a roof where there’s lots of cracks in the wall.” 

“Can’t do roof,” the giant breathes. “Can’t climb without both arms.” 

“Then alleyway. Find one that doesn’t dead-end.” 

Vincent all but dives down the nearest one, stumbling for a moment. “Shit.” 

“Behind the trash,” Mike directs. “It’ll be okay, Vincent.” 

Scott wants to believe the younger, but it’s hard to when the hand that scoops them up is shaking so much not even Mike can find balance. And just as they’re getting spilt onto the ground, a booming voice echos around them. 

Vincent’s face is a picture of pure terror. Then he goes completely limp before shrinking down, lying on the ground unconscious. 

“Vince!” Scott yells as he races forward, his intention on dragging the purple man toward the wall. He only sends a fleeting look toward the end of the alleyway, relieved to find it’s void of the person currently chasing them, meaning they should have enough time to hide. 

When he reaches his best friend, he carefully flips the taller onto his back, checking to make sure he didn’t get hurt from the fall. At the confirmation there’s no blood and he’s breathing, Scott grabs Vincent under the arms. Realizes Mike isn’t next to him, ready to help drag his brother to safety. 

Suddenly, a shadow falls over them. One only a giant can make. Meaning it’s too late. It’s over. They lost. Mike’s already been grabbed. 

Scott carefully drops Vincent before turning to confront the monster about to take them to the one person in the entire universe he is truly afraid of. Feels a scream bubble as warmth surrounds him, kneeling beside his best friend to protect him despite having absolutely no possible way to. 

“I’ve got you, Scott.” 

His head snaps up to see the giant looming over them is Mike. More shocked than anything, he only sits there as a hand carefully collects him, unable to move as Vincent is gingerly pinched between two fingers and lifted up as well. 

Then Mike’s opening his mouth, lowering the unconscious purple man inside, swallowing before turning toward him. 

That’s when Scott comes back to life, though his struggle is halfhearted. Because part of him knows he can trust Mike. But the other part says he’s about to be eaten by someone who is a giant for the first time. 

“Just hang on tight.” 

The kid offers a smile before standing up, the hand holding Scott forming a protective fist around him. It doesn’t open above a gaping maw, nor is he dropped into a pocket. Instead he feels catastrophic footsteps jostling him as Mike begins to run. 

What the hell just happened.

[adashoflavendermelancholy]

Platonic Soulmates

“A soulmate doesn’t have to be romantic.” It was just an idea. Something that one of their sisters mentioned. Something about a book she was reading. Soulmates weren’t even a real thing.

Marco never thought about it before. Not until he was sick. Being a phoenix did mean that he had a resilient body. Not that he couldn’t get sick or hurt. Just that he wasn’t likely to die from it. Not easily anyway. Back to what eh was saying. Marco was sick and there was too much work to be done.

They just gained a new brother. One that had the chance to burn the whole ship if someone wasn’t watching him. Though Ace was usually careful. Marco knew that Thatch was put in charge of watching the little gremlin but that didn’t make him worry any less. Not that Thatch couldn’t handle it. Marco just like to keep his finger on the pulse of the crew. Nothing getting too out of hand before he was there. His father didn’t need the headache of things going wrong.

Marco planned to just get up and do his job anyway. That plan flew out the window as he tried to sit up. The world twirled around him like Haruta jumping on a prank. It almost made him throw up. And, he hadn’t even stood up yet. It was just sitting up that split his head in two.

A knock at the door, let him know that it was late in the day. No one usually bothered him unless it was late. “Come in.” He said, his voice sounding loud to himself. Apparently it wasn’t loud enough as the person knocked again. The echoing on the wooden door making his head hurt more.

When the door opened and light filtered into the room. Marco closed his eyes hoping for the pain to go away. A cool hand touched his head, “You’re burning up.” Thatch’s voice whispered. Marco dared to open his eyes, Thatch was standing next to his bed with a worried expression.

“I’m fine.” Marco muttered again. His eyes closing again as he talked. Why was it so hard to keep them open? “Just need a minute to get up.”

The cool hand was back, Marco leaned into it. Thatch muttered something but it sounded far away. Like he was drowning. When he opened his eyes again Thatch was there with a cool towel. “Awake? I brought you soup.” Thatch said, setting the bowl on the bed side table.

Marco sat up. His head still spinning, but at least it didn’t hurt as much. “How- What time is it?” Marco asked, looking around the room.

Thatch smiled, “Now, now. Eat and then I’ll tell you.” Before shoving a spoon full of soup into his mouth. Marco swallowed because what else was he supposed to do?

“Thatch, I can eat by myself.” He said, reaching out for the spoon.

Thatch pulled it out of his reach. “Nope, You’re sick and should rest. I already told pops and the nurses. If you think I’m gonna let you leave before you finish the whole bowl you’re wrong.” Marco wanted to kick the other. Just what was Thatch planning to do? Make fun of him later for being spoon fed while sick? Marco would have if he wasn’t already tired again. All he did was sit up and talk a bit, but he felt like falling over to die.

“Here, say ‘AH’.” Thatch said, holding out the spoon. Marco took another bite, if only to get the other out of the room. “I was talking to fire fist. I think he’s starting to want to stay. Pop’s was right about him, but pops is always right. The kid has his quirks but is a good kid. Just needs a place to learn and grow.” Thatch said, as he kept feeding Marco spoon fulls of soup. Marco listened to the ‘progress’, totally not praise and Thatch wanting to keep the boy around. No, that would be silly. Thatch was a pirate just taking care of another thanks to the captains ruling.

“I can’t believe you started training him too.” Marco said, watching the other turn a little pink.

“It’s not like the kids anything… Well, no he is pretty special. He’s gotten the hang of Haki, like a fish to water. He still needs a bit more but it wont be long before he can take even us on. Pops though… he’s a long way away from his strength. But I can see it under the surface. That kid will be one hell of a fighter when he’s a bit older.” Thatched explained. Part of him hoping that Marco wouldn’t think he was just praising the kid because he was in charge of taking care of him.

Marco didn’t think that though. Thatch was a soft touch for a pirate, but that didn’t mean that someone could walk all over him. Thatch was well known before joining Pops. The man gave praise to those he thought were worth it. “Hey, I want another bite.” Marco said, as Thatch stopped feeding him to worry.

Thatch blinked before huffing. “Yeah, yeah. Use me for my food.”

“Well, it’s the only good thing about you.” Marco said back, laughing as Thatch gasped. Taking another bite of the soup. By now it was almost done. A little part of Marco was sad by that. When was the last time he got to just sit and talk like this anymore? After becoming the first division commander things changed, there was so much to do and not enough time for it all. Learning what he did about medicine and pops. He couldn’t just sit around waiting for their father to pass. But, there was no cure for old age.

Finishing the bowl, Thatch made Marco lay back down. It wasn’t hard, thanks to Marco already falling asleep again. “Thatch.” Marco called, his eyes closed.

Thatch had gathered the bowl and water he brought. Turning to Marco, he called back softly. “Yeah?”

“Thanks, for being here.”

“Anytime, You’re our precious brother after all.” Thatch said, a soft laugh in his tone. Marco heard the soft steps of Thatch leaving, and the door closing. Before he was sleeping again.

[anyon-else]

Will You Let Me Come Closer to You? (The Red Room pt.8) | You know that staying is a bad idea. Deep down, you know that it will only lead to more pain and loss. But for some reason, it's becoming harder and harder to tear yourself away from this new home. (Marvel AU) – spotify playlist | read on ao3

Pairings | Kakashi Hatake x Black Widow!Reader + Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, Kabuto Yakushi, Orochimaru (mentioned)

Warnings | fem!reader, hurt/comfort, mentions of scars, mentions of death, allusion to suicide, abuse

Word count | 5.6k

(previous chapter) | (next chapter) | (series masterlist)

"The dog that weeps after it kills is no better than the dog that doesn't. My guilt will not purify me."

Anonymous

"Alright, pack it up and get in."

Kakashi was too tired for this.

The night after your conversation, Kakashi had waited in vain for you to come out from his spare room. He wasn't too surprised when your door remained firmly shut long past the time when you usually joined him, but he was still slightly disappointed. When he woke up from a nightmare gasping for breath and looking around for nonexistent threats, his first thought was whether or not you'd kick him if he knocked on your door and asked that you come out and join him again.

When he saw you the next morning, you looked just as exhausted as he felt. However, he wasn't too tired to notice that you were purposefully avoiding his eyes.

"Sensei!" Naruto shouted from the door, arms full of bags that certainly hadn't been necessary to bring, "are we bringing the pups?"

"Iruka is staying here for a few weeks for a mission. He'll take care of them."

Naruto pouted and knelt down to an equally disappointed-looking Akino. Kakashi huffed; the kids spoiled his dogs too much. They were all getting too mushy to be guarding the house.

"We really can't stay for a few more days?" Sakura asked, throwing her bag into the back of the car. Her luggage was much lighter than what she used to bring when they came here on mini-getaways. Kakashi didn't want to think why that was, but he couldn't help but imagine how little she was likely permitted to have while in the Red Room.

"I'd like to get back to the compound. We're disconnected from SHIELD here, and I don't want to be out of the loop for too long."

He almost wished she'd fought him on the decision more, but her curt nod almost reminded him of a formal response to an order. He felt a headache coming on as he pictured that same response being given to Orochimaru.

Maybe he was overthinking things.

"You look terrible," Sasuke said, glaring at something behind Kakashi. He glanced at where you were slipping past Naruto with a bag slung over your shoulder and a deep scowl pointed at the ground. Sakura snapped at Sasuke to be nice, and Sasuke's answering shrug did little to make her lower her defenses. The boy gave you one last glance before climbing into the front seat of Kakashi's car.

"Nope," Kakashi shook his head, "back."

"Wha– why? For her?"

Sasuke pointed a disbelieving finger at you while you tried very hard to look like you weren't paying attention to the argument. You looked uncomfortable with his attention, and Kakashi took note of your uncharacteristic silence and stowed it away as something to ponder on later.

"Yes, for her. You children will be in the back."

Sasuke scowled at Kakashi, then glared past him at you. Kakashi waited beside the passenger door until his charge slipped out and trudged towards the backseat. He looked like the model of an angsty teenager; his arms were crossed tightly over his chest, and a deep scowl was directed at the trees in the distance. Kakashi felt his headache grow worse.

Sakura settled into the seat beside Sasuke with a quiet warning to be nice. He ignored her and propped his chin on his hand, turning even further towards his window.

"This isn't necessary," you muttered behind Kakashi. Stubbornness seemed to be a trait that you and Sakura shared, though he wondered if you had picked some of it up from the girl, "I can sit next to Sakura."

"It's alright. They're used to sitting back there."

"Still..."

For the first time since the night before, you met his gaze. You looked exhausted and beyond exasperated with the conflict. You participated in a stare-down with him for a moment, but climbed into the passenger seat with a grumble about how difficult he was being.

The drive was only a few hours, but it didn't take long for Naruto to fall asleep with his head resting on Sakura's shoulder. When the four of them went on road trips like this before Sakura was taken, she rarely tolerated Naruto's lack of physical boundaries. Kakashi was surprised when he glanced back and saw that she hadn't pushed him off like she used to. Now, she looked content to let the boy lean on her. Kakashi smiled behind his mask.

Sasuke, for all of his efforts to look the part of a brooding teenager, followed suit and fell asleep on Sakura's other shoulder. Kakashi almost asked if you would take a picture for him, but thought better of it when he noticed how tensely you were sitting in the passenger seat.

"How did you sleep?" he asked, ignoring your pointed glare.

"I slept fine."

"Mm. I'm glad to hear that."

"Right," you grumbled. The silence that followed was thick with tension, but he was patient. He could wait you out.

"You know, you almost had me fooled."

That wasn't what he was expecting.

"I don't know what you mean."

"This little game," you said venomously, spitting the words out like you couldn't stand to keep them in, "that you think you can play. Making me dependent on you. Acting like it's mutual. I've played it before, but it'll take more than that to manipulate me."

His hands tightened on the steering wheel, head spinning at the accusation. He thought you would've noticed the bags under his eyes that matched yours, though he supposed that you'd barely looked at him since the night before. Still, he'd hoped that you'd built at least a little bit of trust. At the very least, he thought you considered him an ally.

"That's not what I'm doing."

"I don't care, you know," you grumbled, leaving his words ignored, "if you want to use me. I don't care. But you could at least tell me what you want from me."

"I thought we went over this," Kakashi shook his head, "I'm not using you. I don't want to use you. I just want to help."

"And what makes you think I want your help, hm? I didn't ask for it. In fact, I never asked for you to bring me back in the first place. You took me. If you knew what was good for you, you'd drop me off at the next town and forget about me."

Kakashi glanced in the mirror to make sure the argument hadn't woken the kids, but you were staying conscious of your volume despite the anger in your voice.

"Is that what you want?"

The silence that followed gave him his answer. You were glaring at your lap, hands clenched hard around the phone he'd given you.

"Does it matter?" you muttered, "I keep going over it in my head, and every scenario I can think of ends with HYDRA finding me. Sakura doesn't want to acknowledge how dangerous it is for me to be here, but you know what the world is like. I know you do. And you know that it's inevitable that I leave. Whether it's on my own or with Orochimaru is up to me."

He remembered you saying that you would try to stay last night, and he wondered if it had been a lie or if you had changed your mind.

He wondered just how scared you were of letting yourself have a home.

"You know I shouldn't stay. The things I said last night...I wasn't thinking straight. It's dangerous for me to be here. I don't want to bring any more trouble to you and the kids."

"Is that what that was?" Kakashi chuckled, "trying to get me mad so I'd kick you out?"

Your silence was awfully telling. It was giving him more answers than your words did.

"Well, it's not easy to manipulate me either. And Sakura would probably just leave with you if I told you to go," Kakashi noted, glancing back at the girl. She had shifted and was resting her head on Sasuke, mouth open and drool hanging off her lip, "besides, she's just as dangerous, isn't she? HYDRA thinks you're dead, so she's the one they'll be looking for now."

He needed to find the right words. If he did, maybe some of the tension in your shoulders would drain out.

"If I overstepped last night," he said quietly, hoping that talking about such a vulnerable moment wouldn't shut you down, "I apologize."

You both paused when Naruto mumbled something incoherent. You went rigid at the interruption, and Kakashi was almost impressed that you were talking this freely in front of Naruto and Sasuke, even if they were asleep. Maybe you were improving more than he was giving you credit for.

"You touched me."

He closed his eyes. He hadn't meant to make you uncomfortable. It had taken him a long time to get used to the amount of affection that kids wanted, especially after being neglected for so long. But after so long taking care of them, it had almost become a natural instinct to comfort someone with touch.

"I did," he mumbled, suddenly embarrassed that he'd been so presumptuous. Of course you wouldn't want him touching you. Not after everything that Red Room had done to make you associate touch with pain, "I'm–"

"It was nice. It felt...kind."

It was a miracle that Kakashi didn't crash the car. This conversation was full of surprises.

"Orochimaru always saw kindness as weakness," you murmured, voice faraway, "but the Widows didn't always see it that way. When we were younger, before training got intense, we would try to support one another. Kindness didn't become rare until we started training for combat. I even had some friends when I was a kid."

He tried imagining a younger you, and found that he couldn't. He couldn't reconcile the hopelessness that you always seemed to be feeling with the innocence of childhood. Though he supposed that his own childhood hadn't exactly been filled with happy memories.

"Everyone who was kind to me ended up dead. A lot of them died at my hand. Orochimaru didn't want us to be friends. He wanted us to make each other stronger through competition. We were never taught the concept of mercy, so it was always kill or be killed. Only the strongest became Widows. Everyone else was eliminated.

"Kindness always got the people I cared about killed. The only person I was able to save from that fate was Sakura. If she had stayed in the Red Room, it wouldn't have mattered that she was a successful subject for his experiments, or that he could use her as leverage over SHIELD. He would've killed her one way or another. That's why I had to get her out before her...her graduation ceremony. She would've allowed herself to be killed because she understands kindness and mercy in a way that other Widows don't. I couldn't let that happen."

Kakashi didn't want to dwell on the darkness in your tone when you mentioned this "graduation ceremony," and he also didn't want to ask questions when you were already sharing so much with him.

"I can see now why she's so kind. I see that same kindness in you," you muttered, giving him a quick, embarrassed glance. "She always talked about you with so much hope. She said that you would come for her, and that she'd convince you to help me too. She told me that was just who you were.

"You're her hero. And I see why. You're kinder than most people," you said quietly. "I don't want to be the reason that you die."

Kakashi sat in the silence that followed your words and wondered how hard it would be to get his hands on Orochimaru. He wondered how many lives were being torn apart because of his twisted ideals. How many daughters were being given to a monster.

"You don't think you're kind?" he finally asked.

"No, I don't think so," you scoffed, "I've killed a lot of people. People who cared about me. I wouldn't call that kind."

He thought about Obito. He thought about Rin.

"I'm a Widow. That's what I was raised to be, and it's all I'll ever be. That's why I need to leave. Death follows Widows no matter how hard they try to escape it. I thought that I could try to stay and force myself to be something I'm not, but that would be selfish. If I stayed, I would just be hurting all of you in the long run."

"I've killed people, too."

You didn't look up. He took a deep breath.

"I killed my best friend."

The words felt like knives leaving his throat, but he wanted to meet you on even ground. He didn't want you to think that he was any better than you.

You stared at him, and he realized that this was one of the first things he'd shared with you about his life before he took the kids in. It was a life that he had fought desperately to leave behind for their sakes.

"You say I'm kind," he glanced at you. You were already looking at him, "and that you're not. But we've both hurt people that we care about."

Your face twisted, and he could tell that you wanted to argue, but you kept your lips sealed shut.

"It's hard to forgive ourselves for the things we've done. It took me a long time, and some days I feel like I'm back where I started. But then I look at them," he glanced at the backseat fondly, "and I think to myself, 'I found them when they were with people who resented them and hurt them, and they're still some of the best kids I've ever met. If I was able to raise them to hold on to their kindness despite all of the people who hurt them, there must be something good inside of me too.'"

He was having trouble keeping his eyes on the road. He wished he was having this conversation somewhere else, where he could look at you. To make sure that you were hearing what he was trying to say. That you believed the words were true.

"Sakura is kind because that's who she's always been. But she was able to hold onto that kindness in the Red Room because you protected it. That has to mean that there's kindness in you that's worth protecting too."

You shook your head, but he could tell that his words were starting to get through your seemingly impenetrable wall.

"You told me that you'd try," he said, "and I think you meant it."

This threat of HYDRA coming for you was only part of the reason you didn't want to stay. This possibility of a real life away from the Red Room was becoming too real. He could tell that the idea of being free terrified you.

"Just take it all one day at a time. If not for yourself, then for Sakura. Because if you leave, she'll just track you down and drag you back."

Your laugh was quieter this time, but it was real laughter. It was hope.

Arriving back at the compound was somehow more headache-inducing then leaving for it had been. Kakashi hadn't traveled with all of the kids together in four years, but they still acted like the same twelve-year-olds that he remembered with their constant bickering.

Once he got them all inside, he felt some of his tension bleeding away. He'd forgotten how exhausting trips like that could be with so many people jammed in one car.

"Hey. Widow."

Kakashi slumped in defeat at the sound of Sasuke's cold voice. You had been trailing Kakashi into the compound, aimlessly looking for something to do to pass the time, and Kakashi was hoping that you'd be able to sit with him and read Icha-Icha until you went back to sleep and rested for a while. At the very least, he'd been hoping that you would be able to readjust to the compound for a while before Sasuke started more conflicts.

Sasuke's tone was chilly, though that had nearly become a permanent part of his interactions with you. To Kakashi's relief, you looked unfazed by the title as you turned on your heel to face the boy.

"Follow me."

With no more explanation, Sasuke turned and began making his way further into the compound. Kakashi wanted to tell you that you didn't need to indulge in Sasuke's ambiguous request, but when he turned, you had already started following behind the boy.

"Maa, Sasuke," he sighed, "can't we have one day of rest?"

While you weren't sure what to expect when Sasuke stopped in front of a dark room and searched for a light switch, you weren't too surprised when the lights revealed a well-equipped gym.

"Come on," Sasuke nodded towards the middle of the gym where mats were spread out every few feet, all evenly spaced and well-worn. "we're sparring."

You glanced towards the door at Kakashi, who was watching the interaction with interest. Down the hall, Sakura and Naruto were following the sound of Sasuke's commands curiously.

"Sensei, what's going on?"

Sakura's face flushed with anger when Sasuke squared up in front of you. You could hear the disbelief in her tone, and you wished that Sasuke would at least try to be more civil for her sake, but you also understood his unrelenting suspicion.

He was looking at you so furiously, and you found it hard to believe that all of this anger was directed towards you. You vaguely remembered Kakashi mentioning that Sasuke had a brother that he was afraid of, and you wondered if that's who the boy was thinking about right now. Perhaps your intrusion into his life was bringing back unpleasant memories. Or maybe it was the threat that you posed to his family.

When you stepped onto the mat, his attack was immediate. It wasn't the smartest move, but he was likely running on pure emotion. All of his anger at you was finally spilling over, and it was making him sloppy.

Even so, he was a good fighter. His movements were fluid, and he was able to surprise you more than once.

But he was outmatched. You'd been raised to win matches like this.

The fight wouldn't have lasted as long as it did if you'd put your all into it, but it still ended with Sasuke's chest pinned under your knee. He was panting, staring up at you in fury.

"Why did I lose?" he panted after a moment.

You blinked at him, staying crouched at his side when he made no move to stand.

"With more training, you'll improve–"

"No," he snapped, "what did I do wrong? Tell me what I need to do to win."

The kid was determined, you'd give him that. You stood and held a hand out, feeling a small sense of victory when he took it with only a few seconds of hesitation.

"You were letting your emotions guide your actions. While that can be useful in battles of strength, Widows specialize in stealth and agility. You need to be able to focus on every move I make if you want to win. Find the pattern to your opponent's movements. There will always be one. Once you've done that, you can try to exploit it. But you won't be able to find it if you're too focused on being angry."

"Okay," Sasuke gave a short nod and raised his fists, "again."

It took seven more rounds of this for the cycle to break. Naruto had brought a deck of cards to the gym from his room, and he, Sakura, and Kakashi were playing while keeping an eye on you and Sasuke.

"Stop going easy on me," Sasuke growled when you pinned him to the ground for the eighth time. He shoved you away and stood on his own, running a frustrated hand through his hair.

"Alright," you said, "I won't."

Sakura stood at your words and approached the mats nervously, but Sasuke just grinned.

It took about a quarter of the time for you to take him down, but he didn't seem as upset by the outcome this time. In fact, he seemed rather satisfied that you were using your full strength.

"You need to be more flexible with your strategies," you told him when he looked at you expectantly from the floor. "The ones you've developed are good, and they'll serve you well with many opponents, but not with Widows. Fighting elites like the ones trained in the Red Room is like a game of chess. No matter how clever you think your techniques are, once they catch on to the way you move, it becomes about three times easier for them to win. And it won't take long for them to figure you out.

"It's not easy to strategize and fight at the same time, so you'll need to practice until you can predict your opponent's movements based on different factors like where their weight is shifted and what their previous move was. No matter how well-trained someone is, everyone has certain patterns that they fall back on during a fight. When you find it, you have to take advantage. The second you see that your opponent has begun taking on a recognizable form of attack, you can react quickly and catch them off guard."

Sasuke nodded once, then got to his feet again, though he was moving slower now. You hadn't looked at the time since you'd begun, but it had probably been at least an hour.

"I'm done for the day," you waved him off when he raised his fists again, "but you're already improving. You're a quick learner."

"You can keep going," Sasuke bit out, frozen to his spot on the map, "I know you can. You've barely broken a sweat."

"Sasuke–"

You met Sakura's eyes and gave her a subtle shake of your head. Whatever the reason for Sasuke's unrelenting suspicion of you for the past two months, it likely had to do with whatever was going on in his head right now.

When you saw Kakashi looking at you, you tried to read what he was thinking, but he was giving nothing away.

"I didn't say I couldn't," you turned around with a shrug that was likely the cause of his irritated huff, "I just don't want to."

"I don't care," Sasuke spit. "We're going again."

"Why are you so desperate?"

You turned back on your heel and tilted your head at the boy. He looked taken aback, probably too exhausted to recognize the real answers that you were trying to get from him. The way you were attempting to manipulate the boy almost made you feel like Orochimaru. You cut through the thought before you could ponder on it further.

"I'm not desperate. I want to get stronger."

"You've clearly exhausted yourself. Overexerting your muscles isn't good for you, you know."

"No," Sasuke growled. "I haven't. I want to go again."

"Not today," you shook your head, "not unless you can give me a good reason why I should."

"Because we're letting you stay here even though you're more trouble than you're worth," he said with a glare. You ignored the voice in the back of your head telling you that he was right and advanced on him further.

"No, Kakashi's letting me stay here. If it were up to you, I'd have been gone four weeks ago. Try again."

Sasuke was making no efforts to hide how angry he was now, abandoning the progress he'd made during your spars. Now he looked like he wanted to fight you outside of a controlled environment, without Kakashi standing by ready to stop him. You wondered once again if it was really you he was seeing, or if there was someone else he wanted to take his anger out on.

"I need to understand how you were able to keep Sakura safe and get her out when I couldn't even stop her from getting taken," he finally said, though he didn't look happy admitting it to you, "I need to make sure I'm strong enough to beat someone like you. If they come here to hurt the people I care about, I have to be strong enough to stop them."

He was taking on quite a bit on his own, but you knew that you didn't have much room to speak on that issue. Sakura was the only person you'd ever felt that fierce protection for, but you understood his frustration to an extent. At the very least, you understood failure. You understood wanting to make up for failure.

But from where you stood, it looked a lot like Sasuke was punishing himself for his inability to keep Sakura safe.

"Alright," you bent your knees, positioning yourself in front of Sasuke like you each time before in the past hour. His eyes widened before he followed suit, triumphant smirk growing on his lips, "if you win, we'll keep going for as long as you want. We can even pick back up tomorrow if you're not satisfied. But if I take you down first, we stop, and you stop looking at me like I'm the enemy. Deal?"

"Tch. Fine."

This match was admittedly a bit harder that the ones before. While you'd told Sasuke that emotion wasn't the way to win against a Widow, the fury behind his attacks wasn't something to be taken lightly. However, they were sloppily dealt, and his openings were easy to find.

"Alright, then," you said when he was staring up at you from the ground, "that means we're done."

Sasuke looked a little dazed after hitting his head against the mat so many times, but he got to his feet and glanced at you tiredly. He took your outstretched hand with little thought, likely letting himself succumb to exhaustion now that he'd finished sparring for the day. When he began to pull away, you tightened your grip on his hand and pulled him forward so that he was facing you. Your eyes were hard as you stared at him, making sure he wasn't too tired to keep from hearing what you needed to say to him.

"I don't know who you're so angry with," you said lowly, grip tight on his hand, "but you're wasting your energy by placing that anger on me. And if you wanted to get stronger, you could've just asked for my help. A Widow is not a bad ally to have."

He stared at you for a long moment. Then he nodded once and dropped your hand.

You took it for what it was. An acceptance of your olive branch. At the very least, it was one less thing keeping you from staying.

Sasuke left looking significantly calmer than he had when he entered. Following him was a slightly-less angry Sakura and a nervous-looking Naruto who was trying to mediate the argument between the two. You watched them go with a small smile. Maybe now Sasuke could start focusing all of that furious energy where it would be helpful.

It wouldn't hurt to open up to his friends, either.

"Am I...staying in the same room as before?"

You were still looking down the empty hall, watching the kids disappear from view in an effort to keep from looking at Kakashi.

"If you want to," he shrugged, "I don't sleep on the couch here. It's not as cozy."

You didn't want to acknowledge the fear that rushed through you at the idea of spending an indefinite number of days haunted with nightmares, but you also didn't want to admit that being around Kakashi helped so much.

"That's okay," you shrugged, "I wasn't expecting you to."

You cringed at how obvious the lie was.

"Thank you for letting me stay," you turned to him, looking anywhere but his eyes. You felt something sinking in your stomach as you stepped farther away from Kakashi and closer to your nightmares, but you ignored it. You'd spent most of your life sleeping alone. You weren't so weak now that you couldn't handle it anymore.

There was no guarantee that you would always have Kakashi to help you sleep at night. Keeping yourself from becoming dependent on him would only help you in the long run.

Despite the attempts you were making at spinning your solitude into something positive, your fear rocked you to sleep and met you again in your nightmares.

"What are you waiting for?"

"Don't make me hurt her. Please."

"If you won't end it quickly," Kabuto smiled cruelly and pulled a knife from its sheath at his side, "I'll make sure she suffers."

Sakura looked more like a ghost than a person as she sat in front of you, but she was still alive. For now, she was still breathing.

The gun in your hand only had one bullet left. A bullet that was meant for her.

"I'll take her place," you sobbed, falling at Kabuto's feet. The look of disgust on his face was familiar and gut-wrenching. Shame pooled in your stomach.

"You're a traitor," he spat, taking your jaw in one hand and pulling you to your feet, "and this is your penance. We don't need her, so to prove your loyalty, you will take care of the mess that you created."

"Anything else," you begged, "I'll do anything you want, just let her go."

"There's nothing else he wants," Kabuto grinned, cruel and sharp, "you betrayed him after everything he did for you. You threw his kindness away. And for what? Some pathetic attempt at companionship?"

You let out a sob when Kabuto covered your hand with his and curled your fingers tightly around the gun.

"He wants to see you suffer for what you've done," Kabuto grinned wickedly. The hand that he reached towards you almost seemed gentle as it followed the path of your tears down your cheek, but the painless motion ended when he wrapped his fingers around your throat and led you forward. He stopped you when you were back in front of Sakura and dug his nails into the skin of your neck.

"This is what you are," he said quietly, guiding your arm until the gun was pointed at Sakura. She didn't move. She didn't even blink. She just stared at you with the same, empty eyes that you'd seen when she was under Orochimaru's control. Or what you thought was his control.

"You should be proud," his whisper was almost gentle as he covered your hand with his own and turned the safety off with a click, "to serve Orochimaru. He gives you purpose. Show your gratitude."

His hand left yours, but his voice still lingered at your side.

"Don't deny your nature. If you do this, he will allow you back into the Red Room. He will understand that you were simply being led down the wrong path. Correct your mistakes here, and you can come home."

Home. You wanted to be home more than anything.

"Do what you were made for."

The crack of the bullet hitting its target felt like a warm welcome. It felt like a second chance at fulfilling the only purpose you'd ever known.

You woke drenched in sweat and heaving for air. Tears were dried on your face, and you scrubbed at them to rid yourself of the feeling of the salt water pulling at your skin. It felt the same as it had in the dream. You thought you could still feel Kabuto brushing the tears away.

It wasn't a kind gesture. Not like Kakashi's gentle touch had been.

You hadn't fully regained awareness of your surroundings when you stood and stumbled towards your door. You followed the familiar path that you'd taken to Kakashi room before the mission, but stopped with a jolt of nerves as you wondered why you were seeking him out.

What were you doing here? Looking for comfort? Only a couple of months away from the Red Room, and already you couldn't handle sleeping alone.

However, for the first time, your pride was outmatched by your fear. It was consuming you.

You didn't want to be alone.

You knocked quietly on his door. If he had been asleep, it might've been too quiet for him to hear. You almost hoped that he wouldn't open it. At the very least, it would save you from having to explain yourself.

When he did, you were surprised that you felt relief instead of the expected disappointment.

He also looked different than usual.

"You...aren't wearing your mask."

You should've thought of something to say. You probably looked like an idiot, standing at his door and wondering why he would take his mask off to sleep.

"No, I'm not," he said with a small smile. He rubbed a hand over his face, covering most of the skin that was usually hidden by his mask. He felt naked without it, especially when you were looking at him so intently. "Is everything okay?"

"Oh. Yes, it's fine. Sorry to bother you."

The tear tracks on your face told him otherwise. He took your hand to stop you from turning around, noting the way your shoulders went rigid at his touch.

"Do you want to come in?"

No.

You did not want to come in. You wanted to go back to your room. You didn't even know what you were doing here.

You could deal with a few nightmares on your own.

You were stronger than this. Stronger than some fear-driven need to be near another person while you slept.

Nightmares were for children.

You were not raised to be weak.

But...

You were tired. You were so, so tired.

"Yes."

(previous chapter) | (next chapter) | (series masterlist)

Author's note | thank you for reading! i'm in the middle of finals right now, but i've had this chapter written for a while, and i had a chunk of time to edit. i have most of the next chapter written as well, so hopefully i can keep getting chapters published regularly. my finals are over on the 15th, so there won't be too long of a wait even if i can't write much in the next week.

anyways, let me know what you guys think of this chapter! i was a bit conflicted about the beginning argument while i was writing it, and it went through significant edits, but i feel like it fits with the readers transition into life with kakashi and the others. don't get used to the hurt/comfort and fluff though, shit hasn't hit the fan yet :) see y'all in the next chapter, and don't forget to leave me some love!

title is from "Fragile" by Laufey

[reach-for-the-light]

Realizations of the abnormal

me growing up as a kid always getting irritated skin from bandaid adhesive only to realize in my 20's that isn't normal...

I thought it happened to everyone. It turns out either I have an allergy to adhesive that was never noticed, or sensitive skin, or something. the parts of my skin touching the sticky would always be red and irritated. thought it was normal because there's sticky thing on skin and of course that is irritating. Nope, apparently not oh and toothpaste and mouthwash shouldn't be painful, either. apparently. the mouthwash bottles that say non-burning aren't lying to most people and that's why they don't get into lawsuits for false advertising and bottles shouldn't hurt your hands when you try to open them. I figured that part out because why would any company make a product that is intentionally painful to the customer to open? that would be an unpleasant experience and discourage them from buying it again. but it's a super common design across multiple brands. so it…. doesn't hurt most people.. yeah that's why most people don't complain about it. once again I'm the odd one out and I never noticed until my 20's

me realizing the world built by people is designed by people and when things are designed with people in mind they're generally not intentionally designed to be unpleasant in any way…. unless it's capsicum, apparently.

that one was a big eye opener to how much my EDS and potential neurodivergency affected my day to day. it went from, a lot of things are just annoyingly unpleasant to everybody and they just deal with it because that is the cultural and societal norm, to no that actually doesn't bother everybody and you have a health issue which impacts your daily life. And this is all you know so you had nothing to compare to. and are having to realize how you suffer every day compared to everyone else.

my disability was invisible even to me because i thought it was a normal human experience and that life was just in hard mode, and that's just how life was. i thought, that's why nobody complains... because it's normal.

Realizing these things were not actually normal make things easier to understand for me. and it makes it easier for me to be gentle on myself. Like, I'm not struggling to open a water bottle because I am weak; I know I have the muscle to open it, but I'm not using all that muscle because bloody bleeping ouch the bumps on the cap hurt and i am limiting myself to prevent pain. That's why it feels so much easier to open them when I put a cloth over the cap and twist it. it wasn't about getting more grip; my hand wasn't slipping, it was hurting.

and it turns out all my pain and suffering is connected to my highschool party tricks. And apparantly I am still lucky to be diagnosed in my 20's instead of my 40's even though literally everyone who has it was born with it and has been suffering in some way their entire lives.

I don't even think about it most of the time. it was as normal to me as curtains in a window. Almost everybody has curtains in a window. but hardly anybody struggles with these things. When someone asked me how I struggle with my possible neurodivergency my mind pulled a blank because I don't know in what ways other people don't suffer that I am. and that happened with EDS too. But I'm getting better as I learn and realize what about me differs from other people.

[tinyinvadr]

Chapter 2 is here!

Psychoborrower: Whispering Rock

Chapter 2

I soon realized how the kid was able to move so fast. They weren’t just running. They were teleporting.

I knew teleportation was possible since Ford did it all the time, but until that point, I’d never seen it in action. Right before my eyes, they disappeared and reappeared in different places.

“Hey, uh, running kid! Over here! I wanna talk to you!”

Either they couldn’t hear me or they were blatantly ignoring me. I needed to change tactics.

An idea hit me, but I was hesitant to try it. I didn’t want to scare the kid, but I couldn’t think of another way to catch them. So, I shifted to human form and scooped them up as they ran past.

“Gotcha! I mean, uh… sorry about that. You okay?”

I opened my hands to check on them, and they looked surprisingly unfazed. Maybe they recognized me from when I made my speech. Or they had no survival instincts.

“That was so fun! Let’s go again!”

They immediately teleported out of my hands and back on the floor.

“Try and catch me, haha!”

It was already too late for me. I’d been dragged into a game of psychic tag.

“Can we not do this right now? This isn’t a playground!”

They continued to run, jump, and teleport in every direction, and it did’t take long for me to become exhausted. Sasha took notice of this and stepped in.

“Shift back, Flint. You need to preserve your energy. They’ll tire themself out eventually.”

I switched back to my borrower form, and the kid stopped in their tracks to watch.

“Whoa, how’d you do that? Can I do that?”

Despite how high-energy they were, they had a willingness to learn. That was a good sign.

“You kind of just have to… think big thoughts.”

At that, they scrunched their eyes shut and concentrated, and soon, they started to grow. On the first try. I wasn’t jealous. Nope. I wasn’t jealous.

They continued to grow. And grow. And grow. They weren’t stopping.

Sasha picked me up and stepped back, trying to distance us from the giant borrower. I could tell he was unnerved by this change, but he did his best to remain calm and in control.

“Alright, that’s enough. Don’t overdo it.”

The kid just kept laughing and running, not paying any mind to us. But at their increased size, running caused the cube to spin as if they were running on a hamster wheel. Sasha and I were rapidly spun around, unable to stop them.

The spinning suddenly came to a halt as we heard the kid yell out in pain.

“Ouch! Hey! Stop stamping me!”

Regaining his bearings, Sasha got up and rushed over, and sure enough, a pair of Censors were stamping at their ankles.

The kid grabbed one, glaring at him.

“You’re mean!”

“No!”

“Ya huh!”

“No!”

While they were distracted, more Censors began to spawn, all of them stamping at the kid until they were forced to shift back to normal. Of course, when this happened, the Censors became a much bigger threat to them. One stamp and they would be crushed, and booted from Sasha’s mind.

“Wait, no! I’m sorry I said you were mean, even if it’s kinda true. Don’t squish me!”

Sasha took aim, sending a powerful PSI-Blast that ricocheted and took out each Censor one by one. All that was left was the kid, covering their head and cowering.

“It’s alright, little one. They’re gone. But more will likely appear if you stay in my mind for much longer. I would appreciate it if you give me a heads up in the future before you come in here.”

The kid looked up at Sasha apologetically.

“I’m sorry. I was just so excited to start training, I couldn’t wait!”

“It’s good that you’re eager to learn, but there’s a time and a place for it. Now, let’s get you out of here.”

We all returned to our bodies as Sasha opened his container of smelling salts, and I turned to see the kid standing right next to me.

“Well, that was fun! Except for that last part. See you guys tomorrow!”

“Actually, I’d like for you to report to Coach Oleander’s Basic Braining before you come back here. It’s important to establish the groundwork of your psychic abilities before you move on to more advanced courses.”

I could sense that Sasha really just wanted a break before letting them back into his mind. The kid was already very powerful for their age, but they lacked control. Though, Coach would definitely be better suited to handling their chaotic energy.

“Sounds good! Bye!”

Before they could teleport away, Sasha lifted them up with Telekinesis.

“Hold on. Where is it you’re trying to go? Even with your teleportation, it’s still dangerous to go outside at night.“

“Eh, it’s fine. I’m a wild borrower, I sleep outside all the time.”

“Even if that’s the case, these grounds are inhabited by PSI-powered animals. It’s not safe for anyone to be out there, humans or borrowers. I can escort you to the children’s cabins, or you can stay here if you’d prefer, but going outside by yourself is not an option.”

The kid sighed. “Okay, I’ll stay here I guess.”

Since I wouldn’t be sleeping, I let them take my bed for the night. Though, they didn’t seem to know how to get into it. Instead of putting their head on the pillow and pulling the covers over themself, they curled up on the opposite side of the bed like a dog.

A wild borrower. I couldn’t help but doubt that. Their clothing was clearly made from borrowed household materials. They had to have lived indoors at some point, and yet, they were confused by a bed. I had a sinking feeling that they didn’t live outside by choice.

The next morning, the kid was already awake by the time I left Sasha’s mind. It looked like they’d been up waiting for me to come back, and they ran straight for me and grabbed by arm the moment they saw my consciousness return.

“You’re back! Let’s go!”

Before I knew it, they teleported us to the treehouse where Coach hold Basic Braining. It took me a minute to process the fact that we’d traveled all the way across camp in a millisecond. Of course, with teleportation being their primary power, the kid was completely unfazed by this.

Once I regained my composure, it was time to go into teacher mode.

“Okay, now remember, the mental world is a delicate place. We’re going in there to train. No playing around. Got it?”

The kid saluted me as if I were a drill sergeant. Oh yeah, they’d get along with Coach just fine.

“Yes sir! Hehe, I’m excited.”

I stepped aside, gesturing for them to go first.

“After you, uh…”

“Rox! Hehe, it sounds like ‘rocks’. And your name is Flint, right? We’re rock buddies!”

Huh. Never really thought about my name being a rock name. Cool, I guess.

Rox astral projected into Coach’s mind, and I followed after them. We spawned in the recruiting office, though there was no sign of Coach.

I shifted, stuck Rox on my shoulder, then PSI-Punched through the wall. On the other side I found Coach crawling around on his hands and knees.

“Uh, hey Coach. I brought Rox here for Basic Braining. What are you doing?”

“Lost a kid. I tried to hype her up for class but she ran off!”

Rox sighed. “Blonde hair, acorn cap, afraid of her own shadow?”

“That’s right! How’d you know?”

“She’s my big sister, Maple. I’ll go find her.”

I couldn’t stop Rox before they teleported away. This kid gave me so much anxiety.

“I just don’t understand what went wrong, Flint. I’ve been training PSI Cadets for years! Maybe… Maybe I don’t have it in me anymore.”

I approached him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Coach, I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but your methods can be a little… intense. I mean, sure, it works for some people, but maybe you need to adjust your approach. It sounds like Maple might be a bit more sensitive.”

“Huh… So, what should I do?”

“Let’s just wait for Rox to find her for now. I’ll try and talk to her, figure out what’s going on.”

“Alright. Ha… look at you, soldier. Already making all the calls. I taught you well.”

It was reassuring to hear that. In all honesty, I wasn’t too sure if I was doing that well at being a mentor. But I kept telling myself it was only my first day, and I hadn’t made any horrifically terrible mistakes, so I had to be on the right track.

Suddenly, Rox reappeared on my shoulder.

“Yeah, bad news. Maple’s not coming out of hiding. She’s terrified of you guys.”

I shifted back to borrower form, prompting them to teleport off my shoulder and reappear beside me.

“She shouldn’t be if I look like this. Take me to her.”

Rox giggled. “That shifting thing is so cool! I should turn giant again!”

“NO! I mean, uh… let’s help Maple first. And, you know, not traumatize her forever?”

“Right, right.”

[thissying]

NOS interview with Daniel, Australian GP, 1 April 2023

And more in-depth in this article:

With the characteristic wide grin, shining white teeth and his roaring laugh, he is prominent in the paddock, Down Under at the Albert Park circuit. For the first time this year Daniel Ricciardo is present in the guest house of Max Verstappen's team Red Bull Racing. Not as a teammate, not even as a substitute. Although he is a reserve driver, the 33-year-old Australian is mainly used as an advertising pillar and marketing gun.

It looks a bit painful, but Ricciardo is not the type to be taken aback. "I think it's especially cool to be here. A race weekend without stress is quite nice," he says on the track in Melbourne. "Of course it feels double and all feelings come up here, but I also enjoy this life. I have more time for hobbies, friends and family. It's also nice to break fewer days on the plane. It feels less uncomfortable than I feared."

For many years Melbourne was the scene of Ricciardo's home race; now he's standing by the line and everyone wants something from him. An interview, an autograph, a selfie or a chat. But also: team discussions behind the scenes about the optimal set-up of the car. "It's business as usual, really. I'm busy in the paddock all day. My cockpit has been traded for a seat by the pit wall, but the fans give me a warm bath. They still treat me like one of the drivers. Very nice to meet you."

He doesn't like to admit it, but of course it immediately tickles when Ricciardo sees the RB19 of Max Verstappen and Sergio Pérez. Especially now that the car is outflanking the entire field. "It's an exciting car, exceeding all the team's expectations. Nobody expected us to dominate like this. Of course I want to get in and race straight away, but I don't feel any frustration."

Of course, the eight-time grand prix winner is immediately ready to fill in if something unexpected happens to Verstappen or Pérez. "I think he only needs ten minutes to get there," assures team leader Christian Horner. "I make sure I'm fit and ready and if the opportunity arises I will give everything to help the team," added Ricciardo. "Of course the devil in me would like to put something in Max or Checo's shakes so that they get sick for a while, haha. Nope. Just kidding!"

What went wrong with Ricciardo? When did his career decline? For that we have to go back to August 2018. Ricciardo was teammate of Verstappen and was able to extend his contract, but made a surprising switch to Renault. When that team's plans turned out to be much bigger than the results, he moved again in 2021 to a team with mountains of gold: McLaren.

That's where things went terribly wrong. Ricciardo was outclassed by Lando Norris, there was no click with the team and the results were abysmal. The team terminated Ricciardo's contract last year and signed his young compatriot Oscar Piastri. Although Ricciardo touched an impressive transfer fee, he was left empty-handed. No team showed serious interest.

"Of course there is a dent in my confidence," admits Ricciardo. "I felt that even when I got into the Red Bull simulator for the first time recently. I was a bit nervous, felt the pressure and hoped I was still good enough. But I felt in my place again very quickly. I'm home again."

Ricciardo says he has no regrets about his failed transfers. "I'm not like that. Everything happens for a reason. You learn from wrong decisions and setbacks, you grow and you become stronger. That also applies to the two rotten years at McLaren." "But what if?"

What if he had not fled - as team boss Christian Horner put it at the time - with his tail between his legs to avoid the internal duel with Max Verstappen? Would he now be the proud owner of a world title? Probably not. After all, Ricciardo left because he noticed that he was no longer the dream number one of Red Bull Racing. "I noticed that the relationships in the team were changing. Max was the future. That was noticeable in everything."

The team had embraced a new apple of their eye with the still very young Verstappen. The team was built around the Dutchman. The will of the driver, his father Jos and his management became law. And Ricciardo didn't want to play second fiddle. As a grand prix winner, he also felt too good for it, but only managed one more grand prix victory after his departure. His F1 career fizzled out, but Ricciardo is still brooding on a return.

Around the summer he will make a decision about his motorsport future. Options are legion. The driver is so beloved that teams in Nascar, IndyCar or endurance races line up. But for now, 'Dannyric' is holding off and seems to be one more aim all arrows at an F1 seat. "I don't want to compete for the sake of competing. Fighting in the middle or the rear doesn't motivate me. I'm only interested in a fast seat and I don't feel like starting from zero again."

"I made a well-considered decision to take a break to recharge myself. I still support that. I'm not actively looking for a cockpit yet. My feeling is that I want to return to Formula 1 next year. All sorts of factors come into play, but it doesn't feel like I'm retired from F1 right now. I'm still hungry. The fire hasn't gone out yet."

The 41-year-old Aston Martin driver Fernando Alonso is Ricciardo's example. "It's great that he gets a podium two times in a row. I'm enjoying the resurrection of the old man. He's eight years older. I want a revival like that too."

[topazshadowwolf]

for the growing up gooptales would Dream or anyone else know about what happend to the gang? i remember you saying gooptales takes place a lil bit after a truce i think. If so then I would assume Dream eventually finds out. although i'm not sure nightmare would tell him very willingly. But if not then it would be very very suspicious that all of your brothers henchmen are nowhere to be found... food for thought...

Yeah, everyone will eventually find out. How Dream does will be 1) first answered later in GoopTales, then 2) answered in this ask I answered earlier. These asks can in about the same time. There will be more bitter-sweet feelings, as Epic best friend is now a "little dude." And Error finds it absolutely hilarious that the pains in his coccyx are now babies. (And he's not above punting children.)

But since this was mostly answered and it deals mostly with Dream, have some more Uncle Dream. :3

---

"uncle dream!" Killer squealed happily as he ran over and hugged the golden-clad skeleton around the legs.

Dream smiled and grabbed the kid up, tossing him in the air, hearing another happy squeal from the child before catching him. "Greetings, little one!"

"me too!" Cross said as he hurried over before lightly tugging on Dream's tunic. "toss me too, please?"

"Well, since you said please!" Dream said as he flipped Killer over and carefully set the child down upside down as the boy giggled away. Arms now free, the positive skeleton scooped up Cross, ignoring the glare from his brother as he gave Cross a toss and caught him. "Are you ready for a four-day camping trip?"

"yeah!" Cross cheered and giggled.

"They better not return to me brain damaged...," Nightmare said as he watched Cross be flipped and held upside down. The worry wort. Dream had no idea his brother would be this protective of a father. It was amusing, really.

"Please, we all know bumps and bruises are part of learning and growing. Right boys?" Dream asked as he flipped Cross right-side up and set him down.

"yeah!" Killer and Cross said as they ran around Dream's legs excitedly.

"is that, like, learning from mistakes?" Horror asked.

"Yes... though they better be mistakes you learn from," Nightmare sighed. He then looked down at Dust. The child was hesitant to leave Nighty's side, and Nightmare would be inclined to the the kiddo stay with him because that's the way he is with these kids. But NOPE! Dream wanted Nighty and Lyra to have four days to just... being a couple and grow their bond.

"Hey, Dust," Dream said, squatting down. "Ferrous is coming with us, right?" The child nodded. "That is wonderful! I think you and him are going to learn a lot in the woods."

"there's things to learn?" Dust asked nervously.

"Yup! Your dad, Mr. Night, already gave me a list of things to try teaching you while you are out there. Why don't you be the one in charge of writing down what we learn so you can show Mr. Night when you get back," Dream asked, and Dust looked up at Nightmare and then back to Dream.

"okay," Dust replied, and Dream held his hand out to the boy, who made his way over to take it. Ferrous, the blue-guy pit bull with tiny nubs for ears followed along behind.

Both Lyra and Nightmare went over everything Dream already knew, including the little bonnets Lyra made to protect Ferrous' ear holes from rain. Whoever owned him before Dust found him thought the dog didn't need ears. The poor thing. Still, even though he heard this all before, Dream pretended this was all stuff he needed to hear again for their sake as Blue, Stretch, and Epic grabbed the boys' things.