#i used to not be able to face my own stuff

[loveofcharacters]

That image of hime will never leave her mind. She knows it's a bold thing to say, but she knows in her gut, it will stay with her. Letting out a small sigh, she hated herself for playing with his mind and emotions. "In what way? If you were to be honest now, what would you say about where you were mentally?" She knew Grace said he couldn't be pushed, but she needed to try. "And would this have built up the way it did if you were seeing your therapist more regularly?" She didn't want to scold him, but she wanted to support him, which means scheduling therapy appointments, both as his assistant and his girlfriend- whoa. The subtlety that thought came to her stunned her for a second, abort, abort, abort. Looking back at him forcefully focusing on him to deter her own inner spiral.

Smiling and letting out a soft chuckle at the thought of slapping him across the face, her facial expression soured the more he divulged his inner thoughts. "Wow, those thoughts either really hate me or are out to get you." She tried to joke. She could see he was embarrassed and her heart hurt for him because he had no reason for it. "You know I don't feel that way right?" She knew he admitted it was a stupid thought, but she wanted him to hear it from her. "Especially when I'm not 'dealing' with you. If anything, you're 'dealing' with me. You have a legitimate diagnosis to back up your stuff, I'm just... a naive and gullible idiot." Chuckling at her own expense. "I don't know," She said awkwardly disliking any talk around money, specifically someone else buying her anything. "It is an expense, technically, but I can get my own phone. You pay be very well to be able to afford a new one." She felt so awkward as if she had insects crawling underneath her skin, "It's fine, I can buy it." She said quickly, desperate for this conversation to be over, "I'll buy it later, or tomorrow, or whenever." She nodded. "You know, I really like getting back into bed idea. Where are your spare sheets? I can go make the bed, or we can use that guest room I've been neglecting."

He hated that he put her through that, that she'd had to see him like that. It was worse that he knew she blamed herself for it when, in reality, she'd done nothing wrong. "I was in a weird place yesterday. Everything building up the way it had, feeling like I was going to lose you before we ever even got to have anything..." Maybe he didn't want to discuss it right now but he couldn't avoid it forever. "I wasn't being honest about where I was mentally either and it caught up to me." Honestly he didn't know if a shock to the system would work or not. Everyone seemed to want to treat him with such a soft touch when he got to be a certain way. But it might work. "It's definitely worth a shot. Like, don't slap me across the face or anything because I don't know how I would react to that. But maybe a hug or something? Something to knock me out of it. You being there helped, I swear it did. I just... honestly, when your call dropped I thought something happened to you and I was so close to calling the cops but I didn't know where you were and then the intrusive thoughts just snaked in and told me you'd hung up on me on purpose and that you didn't want to deal with me anymore. It was stupid." He felt embarrassed and it showed on his face. "What I really want is to get back into bed but we can definitely get you a new phone. Is that considered a company expense or are you not going to let me cover that one? You can use mine if you need to make calls or anything. I've got nothing to hide."

[kurishiri]

Jude chapter 3 silly but kinda detailed summary

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ any pretty translation you may see in here may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. this is a sort of summary as well. if you enjoy, though, please consider reblogging, but please don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

kate successfully completes sortin out letters so she heads to the port where jude is talking with the foreman. its there she sort of thinks back on her time at raven co and the long and short of it is that jude, as the ceo, is actually really outstanding, and he acknowledges the efforts of those who work hard, produce results and whatnot, and rewards them in turn.

(that said he could work on his wording ,,)

time skip to night after judes done and they all walkin back tgt where kates like “i think i’ll be able to have a good dinner today” and jude scoffs at her callin her a twit. and shes all defensive like hey whats wrong with wanting to eat good food and judes like when did i say that was wrong?

all of a sudden they stop in their tracks and jude tells kate “on the count o’ three, crouch” and kates all panicked like tf is going on but jude already starts counting down so she crouches anw (in a panic!)

some guy in a suits out to kill jude. god knows who too bc apparently jude don’t know him either 💀

Jude: Who are ya? Can’t say ya look familiar.

[ insert some lines im lazy to tl ]

Jude kicked up at the man’s chin, causing the man’s body to do one smooth flip before collapsing onto the ground.

Man in a suit: Jude… Jazza——!

Jude: N’ like I was sayin’, who the hell are ya?

ok turns out jude does remember him in the end, its just another dude who broke his contract with jude and was selling up some illegal drugs and whatnot.

Jude: I told ya, didn’t I? That if ya breach your contract I’d show ya so much o’ hell you’d wish you kicked the bucket?

J: I fulfilled that promise for ya. Havin’ a grand old time in hell, aren’t’cha?

omg he pried open the wound on the mans face and he let out a cry to the night sky that could shake anyone’s soul silly.

kate then thinks or foreshadows (yk how like ikevil stories r kinda told like kate is recalling the past? like “i didn’t realize it then, but xyz” kinda like one of those moments) that what she witnessed that night was but a prologue of what’s to come bc they get attacked over and over again.

kate and jude get into another argument like “i feel im gonna die every time! im at my limit!” and judes like “well ur in the way loiterin round like that” then jude just yeets off w/o listenin to another word.

she does feel something bothering her tho

(For someone like Jude, he should be able to avoid these grudges…)

When I thought this, I came up with a theory that relieved me of this unsettling feeling.

(…Could it be he’s making himself an enemy of many on purpose?)

‘Yeah, right,’ was what I thought, but also, somewhere in my heart, I felt such a theory may also be true.

shes like there’s not enough info rn but if i do know anything its that

Kate: At this rate, if I stay with Jude any longer…a hundred lives would not be enough!

and so shes like i gotta learn self defense! so she goes knocking on a certain someone’s door like pls teach me le jutsu of self defense!

Ellis: Okay. （╹◡╹）♡

turns out ellis was also thinking of teaching her some stuff abt self defense soon.

so ellis takes kate to the lobby and kates like why the lobby and ellis goes to a bookshelf to take out a book which actually reveals vics weapon collection and takes out a gun, telling kate to try and hold it.

idk if this is a real gun or not (as in it exists irl), apparently its made of silver with a wooden grip.

ellis thinks its well suited for kate. like its lightweight yk. hes like you may need to use it jic. and then hes like

Ellis: But, it’s kind of refreshing.

E: Other than me, Jude seems pretty adverse to putting people by his side.

E: So, maybe he wants to get along with you?

kates like mmm doubt but at the same time she has this question in her mind w/o an answer of why he went and wrote a whole contract and let her stay by his side then? shes abt to cook up a theory in her head when…

just then jude comes in.

Ellis: Ah——Jude.

Jude: We got a job to do.

so they head off to some noble mansion.

Jude: How do ya do, we’ll be here a while.

Nobleman: Ah, Mister Jude?

apparently this nobleman is connected with the guy in the suit jude beat up in the beginning of the chptr. he made him spit out info.

Jude: If ya just were sellin’ somethin’ shady I’d let that off the hook. Illegal drug’s some child’s play.

J: However.

Jude raised one leg and rested it atop the long table.

Jude: I seem to recall the contract prohibitin’ the sellin’ and buyin’ of humans, or am I wrong?

ko-fi☕️ ┊ comms🤍

[yellbug]

hey i keep seeing a really disdainful post on my dash about how the op is sick of women talking about how they have body dysmorphia. it's really weird and cruel and I don't want to reblog it, but I also don't want to see any more posts like that and I want to talk about why. In short, believing in vanity and that I was doing the sin of vanity by obsessive-compulsively agonizing about my appearance did not help with my body dysmorphia, and I don't think it would be effective for a single human being alive.

believe me I know people look down on me for having this problem because it's "not real" and I could "just get over it".

to give an idea of it, when it was bad it felt and looked to me as if my face was melting or being pulled in different directions by hooks. you can talk a big game about how when you talk about this you're not talking about "legitimate" cases if you want to, and you might even believe it yourself, but I think that's a bunch of fucking horseshit. I think people who are in agony over their appearance and who see themselves as monstrous when to others they appear normal have body dysmorphia.

I totally get how people agonizing over this towards you could make your own issues worse. it is worth complaining about a culture that makes a pastime of self-loathing for women. It is also definitely complicated and inconvenient to be around a delusional person. However, I would suggest that if your problem is that people are coming to you with stuff like this, that you set boundaries about it. I certainly had to. there are people who I have told I will no longer talk about their body issues because I cannot do it.

The MAIN thing that helped me was escaping from the environment that caused these distortions and being around people who see me in a genuine way. But when I did used to encounter disdain about having this problem the most often, it sounded just like this and made everything worse. because this is really misogynist. The evil self-destructive vanity of women is a very very old idea and it is oppressive. it doesnt help body dysmorphia at all to talk about people like me with so much contempt, or to call us stupid as op does later in the post.

It also helped me a lot to approach my appearance in a curious, interested way and try to let go of the weird awful misogynist hatred that permeates that post. I think it can be really scary to try and be kind about this towards yourself and stop punishing yourself for vanity.

I don't know if I would have ever been able to get better if I had not been able to get away from the environments that were causing this in me. And if i had been less fortunate, I wouldn't have. Anyway I don't want to see any more posts like this and I'm shocked it crossed my dash in the first place.

[grey-sides]

I don't say this lightly, but to get better at writing you have to get more comfortable with rereading your own work. It's, unfortunately, obvious when someone won't reread their work to check for flow or mistakes. It's not cringey, it's your work, it's from you, it's great! It could be even better! Just. Read it. Please.

[haus-der-mysterionmusen]

“Don’t worry about it. All the boys who get interested in me are freaks, it comes from not being normal. Your brother at least was open about it, easier to avoid.” Nagi cracked a smile but didn’t really relax any. This was probably technology that was beyond her own understanding and if even if Summer had seen it used there was always the possibility of a mistake that could fry them both. Or at least that’s what the girl pictured.

“I won’t ask what the old man needs a decontamination chamber for but it’s probably best we aren’t meeting face to face for a number of reasons. After all what would your parents say about you bringing a girl like me into your home especially since we’re both covered in some freak’s blood I doubt I’d be very welcome.” Nagi laughed a little. This was one of the reasons she didn’t have many friends after all even if she could dress and act like a normal girl when the situation called for it other girl’s parents usually were uncomfortable by who her father was.

“Well if this stuff has screwed up our perceptions of reality you might be able to know the readings are correct or not but we need to try and do whatever we can to survive that mess.. oh and if you ever meet my brother you might be surprised he sure isn’t anything like me.”

Nagi followed close behind. She could guess what the thing was she was walking into was, but when you fought monsters and your frenemy was an obnoxious girl who was maybe some sort of grim reaper this wasn’t the strangest thing you’ve done this week.

“Younger brother huh? I’ve got one of those. Always making trouble.” Is what she said.

And so Nagi Kirima: tall like a model and currently wearing body armor and her leather jumpsuit stood with Summer wherever this portal has dropped them off. She figures she’s probably a very odd sight here too.

Nagi kept a hand on the baton currently on her hip in case she needed to quickly draw it and take action. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Summer but she guessed this was another part of the multiverse all together and so she would remain on guard.

[sciderman]

Were Peter and Harry properly a thing? Or was it more of a spur of the moment hook-up?

in 9319? it was just two sordid nights – and sweet, sweet lingering trauma...

harry so nice, peter had to have it twice.

[padawansuggest]

Okay. The trike is together. My dad (who used to run a bike shop okay he knows this shit he just used me for my better eyesight a lot cause that’s an issue for him now I’m so fucking glad I have him I would have just cried at it) wants us to get a nice set of washers for the seat itself, a couple more LED lights (I got one recently without even realizing it had a red light setting and dad wants me to get two more of it cause it was on sale) and we need a third reflector for one wheel cause we seem to have lost the backing to one of them and he doesn’t think it’ll stay long if we just glue it. But he also wants Lock Tight glue cause he doesn’t trust a lot of bolts (lmao this man would say it’s fine if it was his but for his kid???? Nahhhhh it could be better).

But that’s okay cause I’m sore from like 3 straight days of Going Places Doing Things, so I’m chill to nap till tomorrow and then get what I can on that list, plus a secondary bike lock. The trike itself came with a lock with keys, but it’s not a GREAT lock so I’m gonna get a super nice one, and use the one it came with to lock the basket in the back of the cart (it came with a grated lid lol) because that way I can go to multiple stores without worrying about my stuff.

Now, I’m gonna get started on crocheting at least 4 bags for the big basket in the back, and one WIDE one for the basket in the front.

Pictures after the read more and if any of you save pics of my inside home I’ll be in your walls.

They wanted us to metal wrap the grates to make the basket but me and dad don’t trust shit lmao this is a zip tie family. First pic is from last night close to when we stopped for the night. I was shocked we were able to do the whole thing next to the front door right in front of our armchairs lol. We did this in relative comfort.

[dawnlotus-draws]

Homesickness : a BitB comic (careful! Heavily implied spoilers)

Spoilers ahead and in the tags.

What’s up my brain’s consumed by these guys, this comic was inspired by the numerous headcanons Ive seen around about Rolan’s time away from Galloway, and how the hivemind would.. keep in touch. Huge inspiration from @/willotstreet’s post about Rolans alcoholism

[nexus-nebulae]

another childhood bucket list item obtained: i finally have a snuggie

[depresseddepot]

I'm trying to find ways to slowly ease my way into taking walks (debilitating social anxiety) so I was going to download pokemon go again but my phone is too old :(

[momochiiee-reblogs]

Starting to feel the solitude of a house that is always full of people

The irony istg

[quarklynx]

How the fuck are people out here buying face creams worth hundreds of dollars?!?? In this economy?? This tiny-ass tenth of an ounce tester I got gifted is worth more than I spent on groceries last week!! I wish I could afford this fancy stuff, my face has literally never felt softer, not even on the day I was born istg, but bro- hundreds of dollars????? Absolutely insane

[1980ssunflower]

nuzzles my face against my baby ryan 🥺💖

[noxtivagus]

i will do a lot this 2023 >:3

[volfoss]

God I cannot wait for the weather to get less cold so I can do doll faceups

[asgardian--angels]

Planet's Fucked: What Can You Do To Help? (Long Post)

Since nobody is talking about the existential threat to the climate and the environment a second Trump term/Republican government control will cause, which to me supersedes literally every other issue, I wanted to just say my two cents, and some things you can do to help. I am a conservation biologist, whose field was hit substantially by the first Trump presidency. I study wild bees, birds, and plants.

In case anyone forgot what he did last time, he gagged scientists' ability to talk about climate change, he tried zeroing budgets for agencies like the NOAA, he attempted to gut protections in the Endangered Species Act (mainly by redefining 'take' in a way that would allow corporations to destroy habitat of imperiled species with no ramifications), he tried to do the same for the Migratory Bird Treaty Act (the law that offers official protection for native non-game birds), he sought to expand oil and coal extraction from federal protected lands, he shrunk the size of multiple national preserves, HE PULLED US OUT OF THE PARIS CLIMATE AGREEMENT, and more.

We are at a crucial tipping point in being able to slow the pace of climate change, where we decide what emissions scenario we will operate at, with existential consequences for both the environment and people. We are also in the middle of the Sixth Mass Extinction, with the rate of species extinctions far surpassing background rates due completely to human actions. What we do now will determine the fate of the environment for hundreds or thousands of years - from our ability to grow key food crops (goodbye corn belt! I hated you anyway but), to the pressure on coastal communities that will face the brunt of sea level rise and intensifying extreme weather events, to desertification, ocean acidification, wildfires, melting permafrost (yay, outbreaks of deadly frozen viruses!), and a breaking down of ecosystems and ecosystem services due to continued habitat loss and species declines, especially insect declines. The fact that the environment is clearly a low priority issue despite the very real existential threat to so many people, is beyond my ability to understand. I do partly blame the public education system for offering no mandatory environmental science curriculum or any at all in most places. What it means is that it will take the support of everyone who does care to make any amount of difference in this steeply uphill battle.

There are not enough environmental scientists to solve these issues, not if public support is not on our side and the majority of the general public is either uninformed or actively hostile towards climate science (or any conservation science).

So what can you, my fellow Americans, do to help mitigate and minimize the inevitable damage that lay ahead?

I'm not going to tell you to recycle more or take shorter showers. I'll be honest, that stuff is a drop in the bucket. What does matter on the individual level is restoring and protecting habitat, reducing threats to at-risk species, reducing pesticide use, improving agricultural practices, and pushing for policy changes. Restoring CONNECTIVITY to our landscape - corridors of contiguous habitat - will make all the difference for wildlife to be able to survive a changing climate and continued human population expansion.

**Caveat that I work in the northeast with pollinators and birds so I cannot provide specific organizations for some topics, including climate change focused NGOs. Scientists on tumblr who specialize in other fields, please add your own recommended resources. **

We need two things: FUNDING and MANPOWER.

You may surprised to find that an insane amount of conservation work is carried out by volunteers. We don't ever have the funds to pay most of the people who want to help. If you really really care, consider going into a conservation-related field as a career. It's rewarding, passionate work.

At the national level, please support:

The Nature Conservancy

Xerces Society for Invertebrate Conservation

Cornell Lab of Ornithology (including eBird)

National Audubon Society

Federal Duck Stamps (you don't need to be a hunter to buy one!)

These first four work to acquire and restore critical habitat, change environmental policy, and educate the public. There is almost certainly a Nature Conservancy-owned property within driving distance of you. Xerces plays a very large role in pollinator conservation, including sustainable agriculture, native bee monitoring programs, and the Bee City/Bee Campus USA programs. The Lab of O is one of the world's leaders in bird research and conservation. Audubon focuses on bird conservation. You can get annual memberships to these organizations and receive cool swag and/or a subscription to their publications which are well worth it. You can also volunteer your time; we need thousands of volunteers to do everything from conducting wildlife surveys, invasive species removal, providing outreach programming, managing habitat/clearing trails, planting trees, you name it. Federal Duck Stamps are the major revenue for wetland conservation; hunters need to buy them to hunt waterfowl but anyone can get them to collect!

THERE ARE DEFINITELY MORE, but these are a start.

Additionally, any federal or local organizations that seek to provide support and relief to those affected by hurricanes, sea level rise, any form of coastal climate change...

At the regional level:

These are a list of topics that affect major regions of the United States. Since I do not work in most of these areas I don't feel confident recommending specific organizations, but please seek resources relating to these as they are likely major conservation issues near you.

PRAIRIE CONSERVATION & PRAIRIE POTHOLE WETLANDS

DRYING OF THE COLORADO RIVER (good overview video linked)

PROTECTION OF ESTUARIES AND SALTMARSH, ESPECIALLY IN THE DELAWARE BAY AND LONG ISLAND (and mangroves further south, everglades etc; this includes restoring LIVING SHORELINES instead of concrete storm walls; also check out the likely-soon extinction of saltmarsh sparrows)

UNDAMMING MAJOR RIVERS (not just the Colorado; restoring salmon runs, restoring historic floodplains)

NATIVE POLLINATOR DECLINES (NOT honeybees. for fuck's sake. honeybees are non-native domesticated animals. don't you DARE get honeybee hives to 'save the bees')

WILDLIFE ALONG THE SOUTHERN BORDER (support the Mission Butterfly Center!)

INVASIVE PLANT AND ANIMAL SPECIES (this is everywhere but the specifics will differ regionally, dear lord please help Hawaii)

LOSS OF WETLANDS NATIONWIDE (some states have lost over 90% of their wetlands, I'm looking at you California, Ohio, Illinois)

INDUSTRIAL AGRICULTURE, esp in the CORN BELT and CALIFORNIA - this is an issue much bigger than each of us, but we can work incrementally to promote sustainable practices and create habitat in farmland-dominated areas. Support small, local farms, especially those that use soil regenerative practices, no-till agriculture, no pesticides/Integrated Pest Management/no neonicotinoids/at least non-persistent pesticides. We need more farmers enrolling in NRCS programs to put farmland in temporary or permanent wetland easements, or to rent the land for a 30-year solar farm cycle. We've lost over 99% of our prairies to corn and soybeans. Let's not make it 100%.

INDIGENOUS LAND-BACK EFFORTS/INDIGENOUS LAND MANAGEMENT/TEK (adding this because there have been increasing efforts not just for reparations but to also allow indigenous communities to steward and manage lands either fully independently or alongside western science, and it would have great benefits for both people and the land; I know others on here could speak much more on this. Please platform indigenous voices)

HARMFUL ALGAL BLOOMS (get your neighbors to stop dumping fertilizers on their lawn next to lakes, reduce agricultural runoff)

OCEAN PLASTIC (it's not straws, it's mostly commercial fishing line/trawling equipment and microplastics)

A lot of these are interconnected. And of course not a complete list.

At the state and local level:

You probably have the most power to make change at the local level!

Support or volunteer at your local nature centers, local/state land conservancy non-profits (find out who owns&manages the preserves you like to hike at!), state fish & game dept/non-game program, local Audubon chapters (they do a LOT). Participate in a Christmas Bird Count!

Join local garden clubs, which install and maintain town plantings - encourage them to use NATIVE plants. Join a community garden!

Get your college campus or city/town certified in the Bee Campus USA/Bee City USA programs from the Xerces Society

Check out your state's official plant nursery, forest society, natural heritage program, anything that you could become a member of, get plants from, or volunteer at.

Volunteer to be part of your town's conservation commission, which makes decisions about land management and funding

Attend classes or volunteer with your land grant university's cooperative extension (including master gardener programs)

Literally any volunteer effort aimed at improving the local environment, whether that's picking up litter, pulling invasive plants, installing a local garden, planting trees in a city park, ANYTHING. make a positive change in your own sphere. learn the local issues affecting your nearby ecosystems. I guarantee some lake or river nearby is polluted

MAKE HABITAT IN YOUR COMMUNITY. Biggest thing you can do. Use plants native to your area in your yard or garden. Ditch your lawn. Don't use pesticides (including mosquito spraying, tick spraying, Roundup, etc). Don't use fertilizers that will run off into drinking water. Leave the leaves in your yard. Get your school/college to plant native gardens. Plant native trees (most trees planted in yards are not native). Remove invasive plants in your yard.

On this last point, HERE ARE EASY ONLINE RESOURCES TO FIND NATIVE PLANTS and LEARN ABOUT NATIVE GARDENING:

Xerces Society Pollinator Conservation Resource Center

Pollinator Pathway

Audubon Native Plant Finder

Homegrown National Park (and Doug Tallamy's other books)

National Wildlife Federation Native Plant Finder (clunky but somewhat helpful)

Heather Holm (for prairie/midwest/northeast)

MonarchGard w/ Benjamin Vogt (for prairie/midwest)

Native Plant Trust (northeast & mid-atlantic)

Grow Native Massachusetts (northeast)

Habitat Gardening in Central New York (northeast)

There are many more - I'm not familiar with resources for western states. Print books are your biggest friend. Happy to provide a list of those.

Lastly, you can help scientists monitor species using citizen science. Contribute to iNaturalist, eBird, Bumblebee Watch, or any number of more geographically or taxonomically targeted programs (for instance, our state has a butterfly census carried out by citizen volunteers).

In short? Get curious, get educated, get involved. Notice your local nature, find out how it's threatened, and find out who's working to protect it that you can help with. The health of the planet, including our resilience to climate change, is determined by small local efforts to maintain and restore habitat. That is how we survive this. When government funding won't come, when we're beat back at every turn trying to get policy changed, it comes down to each individual person creating a safe refuge for nature.

Thanks for reading this far. Please feel free to add your own credible resources and organizations.