#i used to have more detailed thoughts about this very topic but i either failed to write them down or they're buried in old discord message
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svsss-fanon-exposed · 8 months ago
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Exposing SVSSS Fanon: 25/∞
VIOLENCE AS COURTSHIP IS A PART OF DEMON CULTURE
Rating: CANON
A nearly universal trope, especially in Moshang fics, is the fact that courtship is performed through violence in demon culture, and that the misunderstandings between the pair are because of cultural differences. The fact that demons mistreat the targets of their affection is canon, however, it is important for fans to note that this sort of characterization and worldbuilding is rooted in racial and ethnic stereotypes.
This is one of the most-requested topics I've ever written on this blog, and I took a long time to think about how best to approach the subject in a way that both keeps to the intention of this blog (referencing canon & providing quotes) as well as raising awareness to the very real problematic aspects of what is a well-loved and often-used trope in fanon that I don't think most western fans are aware of.
First, the canon analysis:
“If you hold unique feelings for a certain person, how can you make them understand your intentions?” Luo Binghe asked. Obviously, no one dared to tear down Luo Binghe’s facade and expose him directly, but this question was really very…unsuited to the demonic approach. After a long moment, not a single person had answered. In fact, the answer was so simple that any normal human could have given it to you. If you liked someone, you should just tell them. Unfortunately, there was not a single “normal” person on the scene—and aside from Shang Qinghua, there also were no “humans” either. Mobei-Jun thought about it. With the paths his mind was given to take, there was no telling how he had interpreted “unique” feelings. “Beat them up three times a day?” (7 Seas, Ch. 26)
Most of the fandom remembers this passage, and some may think that this is where the interpretation of violence as courtship comes from-- however, that is not the case. This passage might actually not refer to courtship at all-- while that is one possible interpretation, Mobei-jun could also be interpreting "unique feelings" to mean something different than "romantic feelings," since Luo Binghe didn't specify romance directly.
The "violent demonic courtship" idea actually originates much earlier in the novel, just after the invasion of Qiong Ding Peak:
In truth, Shen Qingqiu didn’t intend to tease; he thought himself very straightforward. The one who’d tampered with Luo Binghe’s dream realm was Sha Hualing. Though she did have some harmful intentions, her underlying motive was obvious. Naturally, she was driven by a young girl’s secret yearning for love. Otherwise, she would have directed her aggressions toward others, not specifically Luo Binghe. Demons were compelled to viciously bully the person they liked. Only if the object of their affections failed to die would the demon accept them. If their target died, that meant they were useless and not worth nursing any lingering affections for. (7 Seas, Ch. 3)
This, in fact, has somewhat more serious connotations than the way I have often seen it interpreted in fanworks-- it is not merely beating up a potential partner, but pushing them to their limits, nearly driving them to death, and it is certainly implied that it is not uncommon for the object of a demon's affections to actually die.
Now that the canonical basis of the idea has been established, let us move on to the second, and arguably more important part of this post: the racism.
I would like to add a disclaimer here-- I am going to discuss this in hopes of raising more awareness in the fandom, but I am not North/West/Central Asian myself, so I will only mention things in brief and somewhat generally-- if anyone who belongs to the affected cultures would like to make corrections, or more detailed explanations, or any other additions to this post on this topic, I greatly welcome that, as I feel it is an important issue that should be addressed.
In Chinese fiction, particularly fantasy genres like xianxia/xuanhuan/xiuzhen, but also in historical and wuxia fiction, there is a pervasive, prevalent tendency for authors to use racial and ethnic stereotypes against Central, Northern, and Western Asian cultures such as Mongolian & Arab cultures in their worldbuilding regarding the North, while stereotypes against Southeast Asian cultures are used in worldbuilding regarding the South. These stereotypes are most typically applied to villains and villainous groups, and are so widespread as to be ubiquitous within the genre. MXTX has used these tropes before-- notably with the Banyue people in TGCF, with adaptations of both TGCF and MDZS including design stereotypes, such as CQL's portrayal of the Qinghe Nie (combining their tendency toward violence and 'unnatural' cultivation method, with design traits typically associated with Northern/Central Asian cultures).
It is worth noting, though, that most authors do not intentionally use these traits as racist stereotypes in their worldbuilding, especially when regarding a non-human species-- in the same way that western fantasy authors use goblin and orc characters and tropes without realizing or acknowledging their racist origins and connotiations, these stereotypes have simply become genre tropes without that direct connection to their origins. Nonetheless, it is still worth noting-- and worth trying not to fall into the trap of leaning into stereotypical traits in fanworks' character portrayals.
Stereotypes include but are not limited to barbaric and brutish cultural traits, association with animals/having animal features, dark or corrupt magical/spiritual practices, certain types of braided hairstyles & other fashion choices, and originating from the far north or south.
Some of the prejudice and stereotyping of Northern Asian cultures likely originates from the fact that in the past, China was invaded and subjugated by peoples from the north (under Mongolian rule during the Yuan dynasty, and under Manchurian rule during the Qing dynasty) as well as having many conflicts with these peoples throughout history. In fact, the Qing dynasty only ended in the early 1900s, so some of this oppression is still in recent memory-- nonetheless, people belonging to ethnic minorities in China are still affected by this negative stereotyping today, so regardless of the origin, racism is still racism and should be addressed, and China today is a majority Han Chinese nation-- even if Han Chinese are considered a minority and affected by systemic racism in other places in the world.
Additionally, many tropes specifically applied to the southern demons, but also used for demon culture as a whole, are tied to stereotypical portrayals of Southeast Asian culture, which is rooted in a long history of Imperial China's invasion and oppression.
All of those stereotypes listed above apply to SVSSS' demon culture. Even in Mobei-jun's name-- 漠北 meaning "northern desert," which is the real-world name for a region in the north of the Gobi desert in Mongolia.
Therefore, it is important to remember that though violence-as-courtship in demon culture is canonical within SVSSS' setting, it nonetheless originates from harmful racial and ethnic stereotypes. It would be a good idea for fans to keep this in mind when creating their fanworks, and to treat the topic with sensitivity-- but I will leave any direct suggestions on how to handle this to those who are actually part of the affected groups.
--
(thanks to @flidgetjerome for additional notes regarding SEAsian stereotyping and author intent!)
Also, to be absolutely clear: I am not saying that svsss’ demons are specifically coded as any real ethnic group— it’s only that in many ways the portrayal is similar to the common portrayal of various ethnic groups in cmedia. I don’t believe they are specifically meant to parallel a real life group, unlike for example TGCF’s Banyue— but it’s worth questioning why these traits, why these characters.
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spitdrunken · 4 months ago
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Relief Duty
Relationship: Blade x gn!Reader Summary: There is a request Blade never fails to make of the people he cares about most.
Notes: consensual murder, depictions of violence, drowning, vomit. No sexual content, except very vaguely implied, but this is a kink fic. Do not read this to trigger or upset yourself in any way, that is not its intention.
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"Will you do it?" Blade asks, arms crossed in front of his body.
He is always a man of few words. Not even in this situation does he comfort you, or reassure you that denial would be okay. But he's not heartless. If you were to tell him 'no', you're certain that he'd let the subject go. At least for now.
"The other Stellaron Hunters…" you start. "Have they…?"
Blade nods, short. "Yes. Kafka used her strings. They were wrapped around my throat. Silver Wolf… Used her powers. The details I've forgotten. Firefly used SAM, upon my request." A golden flicker lights his eye, like the sparks of a flame. "That was the closest I feel I've ever gotten. If there is a chance you would be capable of killing me… I would want to die at your hands."
Despite yourself, your heart flutters. The subject matter is gruesome, but the weight of his words is heavy, their meaning clear. It is almost intimate.
You shift from one foot to the other. "I could try. But I don't have any fancy powers like them, or anything like that," you tell him. He knows, but you feel it must be repeated.
"I am aware. They are not necessary." He is silent, for a moment. His eyes move away from yours, momentarily slipping somewhere you cannot follow. "Sometimes, I wonder if the solution is so simple I have not thought of it yet. I have been maimed in battle in every way imaginable— To no avail."
"Well, then, is there any way you haven't died in yet? Or at least not as often?"
And that is how you end up with Blade on his knees in front of a bathtub filled with lukewarm water. About to murder your own partner. Via drowning.
…Aeons, what are you even doing? You want to sigh and run a hand down your face, or bash your head into the nearest wall. It's for him. For the solemn determination that enters him as soon as the topic of his death is breached, of the clear desire that is guiding him. You love Blade enough that, were he offered a chance at death, you would allow him to take it, even if that meant leaving you behind.
…You know, in your heart, that he would take the opportunity without hesitation, though not without final parting words.
(The only reason you've decided to do is because you are certain that he will not work. That, like every other time, his eyes will close only to open again soon enough. You don't think you will make the difference here. You doubt that Blade really believes it, either. But this kind of hope keeps him going, and so you will not bring it up. Even if this act was never brought up in any script whatsoever.)
"Are you ready?" Blade asks you, as if he's not the person about to be killed. After a beat of silence, you nod.
You extend your arm, and lace your fingers through his hair. For just a moment, you scratch at his scalp, and Blade lets out a noise akin to a hum.
"Okay. I'll do it." You steel yourself, then push his head down towards the water. There is no resistance, his head enters the water with more of a splash than you were anticipating. Rather than merely allowing you to push him under, he pushes his own head under, too.
You're both regretful and relieved that you picked this option. Relieved, because it requires very little of your own action, except to keep his head down. (Right now, Blade is so inert that there are not even ripples in the water anymore.) On the other hand, the act of waiting for him to die underneath your touch is excruciating and uncomfortable. You squeeze your eyes shut, and try to think of other things. You start to massage Blade's scalp with the tips of your fingers yet again.
Eventually, a burst of bubbles escapes his mouth. His limbs jerk and seize, his chin bangs against the side of the tub, purely on instinct. His arms reach for his chest and claw at his flesh-covered ribcage, lungs screaming for air underneath. Your fingers are all cramped up, and you bite on the inside of your cheek hard enough to draw blood.
Then, all of a sudden, he simply goes limp. You realise a long, deep breath, your shoulders shaking. Crouching, you drag Blade's body out of the tub, muttering an apology under your breath when his skull knocks into the wall when you try to get his… Corpse to sit down. Any bruise he gets will be healed again soon, sure enough— You're certain of it.
You pace up and down the room as you wait for Blade to revive. His skin, already pale during regular days, looks more sunken in, almost blueish. Beneath his nearly-closed eyes his eyes dulled to a shade of their former self. Water droplets leak from his lips and run down his face from locks of his hair. …Despite the fact that he's dead, he's still beautiful nonetheless. You stroke his cheek and find the skin cold underneath your touch, as it always is.
On occasion, you wonder whether calling him alive or simply a reanimated corpse would be more apt of a description. In Blade's eyes, you figure, both of those ideas would be wrong. He's a weapon. Nothing more, nothing less.
His eyelids flutter, and you let out a sigh of relief. Blade's body jerks and shudders. The first thing he does when coming back to life is spewing water mixed with thick strands of drool all over himself. He hacks and coughs, shuddering and twitching, a single tear rolling down his cheek. Once he has his breathing under control, he groans and clutches his head.
"I'm sorry it didn't work." Blade is still too out of it too respond. You take one of the previously prepared towels and dip a tip of it into the bath, using it to remove the remains of vomit from around his mouth. "Are you okay? I can help you get some new clothes on."
You flutter about the room, hoping that he won't have returned to the world of the living in a state other than his usual. When Blade speaks, his voice is hoarse.
"...Thank you. For trying." He sighs, eyes shifting towards the ceiling, staring at the leights. "Let me sit here a little while longer."
You know he cares about you. But the fact you can't provide him with what he wants most, that it conflicts so directly with your own desires, it does hurt. And yet, you smile. You press your back against the wall and slide down next to him.
"Sure. But you do know you're, like, dripping with vomit, right?"
The ghost of a smile quirks its way up on to Blade's lips. "I was wondering if you'd simply dumped me whole into the bath. After I lost consciousness."
"Absolutely not. It was difficult enough to drag you around while you were on your knees."
"I don't like to hear you insult yourself," Blade merely responds, and it would have been better if he hadn't commented at all. You know your upper body strength is not the best, but, whatever! You huff a breath of air out through your nose.
"If you're this coherent, we can get you cleaned up."
As you get to your feet once again, you feel Blade's eyes boring into your back, and when you turn around he is staring right at you, hands folded over his lap.
"Would you... Consider doing this again? In the future?"
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salty-croissants · 10 months ago
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Bullfrog and Rayman/Ramon x reader on their period
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Thank you @bullfrog-supremacy for the request !
I’m currently trying my best to finish up as many of these as I can , mostly because I’m disorganized as hell and let them pile up ;C; 
As soon as I’m left with a more reasonable number , I’ll open up my requests again for some time , promised ! 👍
Anyway , this is actually a pretty appropriate moment for me to write this one since … well , I’m currently living the topic of the prompt (,:
It’s actually very comforting to imagine how the cuties would take care of the reader at a time like this ://)
Hope it turned out okay ! 
Details : use of gender neutral reader ;
established relationships ; 
no warnings needed 
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Bullfrog 💚
Like always , Bullfrog immediately notices that something is a little off about you , and he is quick to guess what is happening …
< Is it that time of the month , mon amour ? > 
< … yeah … don’t worry though , it just hurts a little , I can still help you with - > 
< Non non , that’s not necessary : what you need right now is to get some rest , you look very tired . > 
< Really ? Is that … okay ? > 
< Of course it is my dear ! You don’t worry about a thing , I will take care of you . > 
< Heh … thank you my love ~ > 
He really means it : 
even if he has to leave for a urgent mission , Bullfrog will exit your home only after he made sure that you’re comfortable and you have everything you need to help you relieve the pain , from blankets to warm drinks and medicine …
He just wouldn’t be able to bare the thought of knowing his y/n isn’t feeling well and he isn’t doing anything about it .
< Here , I made some tea , be careful though : it’s very hot . > 
< Thank you so much , Bullfrog … sorry for being a bit moody this morning by the way … it usually happens when I’m like this . > 
< Ne t'inquiète pas y/n , what matters now is that you take all the time you need to feel better : I will spend a lot more time with you once I get back , promis juré . > 
Bullfrog is going to be very careful when cuddling with you to avoid holding you too tightly and hurting you : 
if you don’t feel comfortable with being touched he will perfectly understand , and is going to be happy to just lie by your side while you rest . 
Even if you’re not feeling at your best , he really is just content with being with you ❤️
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Rayman 🧡
Rayman feels bad about seeing his beloved in pain and not being able to take it away from you … it’s the worst feeling for him . 
However , you can be sure that he will do everything he can to help you get better , and that starts with making you lie down somewhere comfortable , either the couch or the bed .
< There you go , darling … take it easy , let me take care of everything , okay ? > 
< Okay … thanks Ray , I really needed this … ~ > 
< No need to thank me , it’s the least I could do for my beautiful y/n ~ > 
If you feel the need to talk about something , maybe even vent for a bit , Rayman is going to stay there and listen to you for as long as you need ( though unfortunately he needs to leave to attend his shows , so he can’t do this as much as he’d like ) .
If you ever feel ashamed about it , he is quick to put your mind at ease .
< Wait , how long have I been … ? 
Crap , I’m sorry , I shouldn’t have kept you here listening to my melodramatic speech about how this whole thing sucks … > 
< No no , please y/n don’t ever apologize for something like that ! 
How long have you listened to my rants about what those douchebags say about me at work ? > 
< Well , yeah but … that’s different … > 
< Nah , you deserve to be able to speak your mind too , especially when you’re with me . 
What kind of partner would I be if I didn’t even bother to hear you out ? > 
If you even just hint that you need something , anything , Rayman will rush off and then materialize by your side seconds later with just what you asked … it never fails to make you smile , despite the annoying and sharp feeling brought by your period .
< Hehe , wow , I literally just mentioned a glass of water and you already got it …
You’re always so sweet , Ray … I love you so much … ~ > 
< I love you too , honey ! ~
Trust me , if I didn’t need to head out for today’s shows I’d just stay here with you all day … > 
< Really … ? Even though I’m constantly bothering you and complaining about things … ? > 
< y/n , you could never bother me . It’s an understandable reaction , you’re not feeling well and it hurts , so please don’t feel bad about needing to talk about what’s wrong , okay ? 
I want to be with you all the time , especially when you’re not at your best : you’ve always been there for me after all , so it’s time I repay the favor . > 
< Ray … ! > 
You can’t help but lean forward to kiss him after he says those adorable things … 
Rayman truly is a sweetheart :,//) 
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Ramon 🖤
Since Ramon is always determined to take care of you at the best of his abilities , when he realizes you’re on your period he will pretty much force you to get some rest , even if you don’t feel like it .
< Ram , please … I can help you with it if you let me get u - > 
< No . > 
< But - > 
< No , you need to sleep , I know you had trouble with it last night .
Now please … lie your head back down , honey . > 
Similarly to the past , Ramon is also insanely quick when it comes to providing you with what you need , no matter what that might be : 
you’re cold ? He shows up with as many blankets as he can carry .
You’re thirsty or would like something to eat ? He is going to bring you your favorite drinks and snacks .
Anything to make sure you’re as comfortable as possible .
< Thank you , Ram ~
 I would’ve gotten it myself , but it started to hurt again … > 
< Don’t worry about it , just tell me if there’s something else I can do for you , okay ? > 
Ramon loves to lay by your side while you rest , his hands gently holding you while he whispers sweet nothings in your ear … 
It’s his goal to make you feel appreciated , especially now that you’re not feeling too well .
< You really do mean everything to me , y’know … ? 
I promise you darling , I’ll do all I can to help you feel better . > 
< Heh … this is already helping me a lot , sweetie ~
I just … I love you so much … thank you for being there for me . > 
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starryluminary · 1 year ago
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Honestly I want to know your opinion on Nemma. Because honestly I don’t like the ship either and want to see if someone agrees with me.
Oh my god hiiii nerd-chocolate!! I will GLADLY detail why I don’t like nemma. Buckle up cause I’m not exactly normal about this subject
I will preface this by saying I understand why it’s Noah and Emma. I get why if Noah had to have a girlfriend it would be someone who would match his intellect and someone he could hold a competent conversation with. Logically, on paper, I understand. It’s not so much the concept of Noah and Emma dating that I dislike, it’s the execution. The development of the relationship was a train wreck. HERES WHY!!!
From the very beginning Nemma showed problems. The Noah that couldn’t play a game of dodgeball for $100,000 and was so standoffish he could only make a good friend in Owen is now suddenly falling in love at first sight with a girl that did a front flip and I’m just supposed to accept it at face value??
You could argue that it’s been three years and a person could change in three years. I’d like to argue back: this is a cartoon. If the development happened offscreen, it didn’t happen. Noah had a drastic change in personality out of nowhere because they give us no reason to believe otherwise. This is just the beginning. It’s all downhill from here, honey.
This is very much subjective and a personal thing but do you know how irritating his face is.
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It makes me ill. Who is this.
Back on track, Noah is out of character the rest of his time competing (not that he was perfectly in character to begin with.) Both the way he treats Owen and how he acts regarding Emma is not believable to me. He’s tragically mean to Owen almost the entire time and he’s insufferably… inconsistent? When it comes to Emma? Like they didn’t exactly have pinned down how he should act when he’s in love so it changes with every episode.
[I did a bit of research regarding the more important Nemma episodes and their writers, but couldn’t draw any good conclusions from it. I did find out Laurie Elliot wrote both Slap Slap Revolution from World Tour (notorious for the most significant Noco moments of the season) and New Beijinging (where Nemma is at its worst in my opinion.) This isn’t all that relevant but it IS fucking hilarious. The writer responsible for “Cody’s got a tiny sausage!” being made to (co) write a Nemma episode and subsequently butchering it is reeeeeally funny to me.]
On the topic of New Beijinging. I cannot watch this episode uninterrupted and it’s because of Nemma. I despise it. It’s not that I don’t believe Noah would act like a bumbling fool in love… in concept. In CONCEPT, I can buy the failed one liners and the speaking your thoughts out loud and the acting out to try and impress her. In practice it’s so painful to watch. The Noah that said he’s incapable of being embarrassed in his WT biography is now spitting hot food in his love interests face and physically recoiling every time he tries to talk to her. I can’t express through text the pain and anguish it causes me.
This is ALSO after giving her a suave one liner in the previous episode. How does he go from cool and collected to cringing at her I- AAAGGHHHH.
They don’t suddenly get better when the feelings are mutual, either. They just become insufferable together and it’s tragic. This is specifically about Māori or Less and Got Venom? (though admittedly I haven’t gotten that far in my rewatch and don’t remember Got Venom? too vividly. I do know they’re annoying in it even to Owen and Kitty so.) They just become so infatuated with each other they forget the rest of the world exists and while I enjoy the CONCEPT……… it just manages to drag down both characters. At least they treat Emma with a little more respect and have her snap out of the haze to play the damn game but THEY END UP KNOCKING OUT NOAH INSTEAD. Pain agony suffering and woe. Noah going catatonic and leaving Owen to struggle is the worst it gets but he still never truly focuses on the game and even hopes to get kicked off. He won’t even play for Owen.
Do I even have to mention Owen. My poor guy Owen. Owen suffers an unnecessary amount for Nemmas development. It hurts my heart even thinking about it but I’ll list off examples. Ways Owen has suffered for the sake of the relationship include:
Being made to carry dead weight (Noah) on more than one occasion.
Being used as a flotation device, offered by Noah to Emma, after being frozen solid.
Being forced to wait for the sister team, making his team go from first place to seventh.
Being victim to Noah’s snark and insults, which he does to either impress Emma or to reprimand Owen because of something Emma related.
LOSING THE RACE CAUSE NOAH COULD ONLY FIND THE ENERGY TO MOVE WHEN HE WAS OFFERED A KISS FROM EMMA.
(Side note: have I ever mentioned that RR Noah is my enemy? I feel like I don’t mention it enough)
To wrap this up, I do genuinely believe Nemma could have been great. I don’t hate Nemma cause I thought Noah was gay, or I’m a Noco shipper, or any other superficial reason. I hate it cause it’s a terribly written relationship that had to completely destroy my favorite character of the series to try and make it work. It’s a damn shame, really. I wish I could look past how different Noah is and how badly he treats Owen and how sickly annoying he and Emma can be and just, at the very least, tolerate Nemma. But I can’t, and I never will.
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numericalbridge · 1 year ago
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About Darius taking responsibility for the Emerald Entrails in ASIAS
>This is absolutely a headcanon reading based on overthinking and overanalyzing minute details. I don't think the creators had actually thought any deeper than moving the plot and emotional bits from one place to another when they made Darius collect the kids (and it's ok, i think there are several very intentional moments that point to Darius being a good guy in that episode, and those are more important, but that's a topic for a different meta).
>But since the fandom has no problem using headcanon readings based on outright absense of information to paint Darius in the worst possible light, and everyone takes it as THE canon, why can't I write a positive interpretation? At least i realize that my reading is not the ultimate canon, and i try to somewhat base it on what information we have about the characters and the world😁.
So, when Hunter calls Darius, why does Darius even go out of his way to call the scouts and then collect the kids personally?
He certainly doesn't have to do it. He can tell Hunter that it is Hunter's own responsibility to deal with the potential recruits, or he can just stall for time and arrive much too late because "he was busy". Wouldn't it be better if Hunter fails to apprehend the children - both for the interests of the rebellion and for Darius's personal gratification, especially IF Darius is constantly as spiteful towards Hunter as he was just after he saw the previous Golden Guard's sigil? (If it is Darius' usual attitude wouldn't he also be spiteful in the phone scene, or gleefully telling Hunter to finish the mission by himself, instead of just acting annoyed/exasperated? Hmmm... but this is also a topic for another meta.)
From Darius' perspective what would happen if he doesn't collect the kids/the scouts don't collect the kids?
The likely scenarios are:
Either Hunter actually convinces someone to join the Covens - and it's not the best thing from the rebellion's perspective or moral grounds, but it can't be a lot of recruits, and there is a recruiting campaign going on anyway, so bothering with them might be unecessary. Or Hunter causes a scene and possibly someone - either he or other kids - gets hurt; maybe even teachers and parents and random scouts get involved. Actually a potential scandal like this might be a bad PR for the Emperor's Coven or cause a divide between the Emperor and his nephew (i assume that most people who know that they are related also think that Hunter is the heir to the throne), so, again, is it necessary to bother?
But Darius choses to get involved, even though at the moment it might be better not to attract attention to himself - both because of the rebellion, but also just in general potentially getting tangled in some public scandal won't be great, right? Especially with the front Darius puts on of someone who doesn't care and hates to be bothered. So why does he decide to get involved? Maybe you can say that he thinks that afterwards Hunter might shift the blame on to him for giving him the mission. Only Darius is planning to let the children go anyway, and that's something that he can be potentially blamed for (if Hunter doesn't change his mind), so it doesn't seem like he is afraid of it. So, instead, maybe he gets involved because he has morals and doesn't want the children - whether the random kids or Hunter - to get hurt.
And, while we don't know how exactly Darius's teleportation ability works (there should be some limitations obviously), he can probably sneakily teleport the kids away from the cells without anyone noticing. Then he doesn't need to be publicly involved. Just have the random scouts who guarded them take the fall... But maybe Darius is willing to take the full responsibility for those children, instead? Maybe he even realizes that the whole situation was caused by him and sees it as his responsibility to fix it without anyone getting hurt.
Also, if the kids just escape on their own, they will likely involve their parents/teachers, and there might be a real search for them by the scouts/Hunter/EC. And, again, it's bad publicity for the government, but in theory it's won't be a bad situation for the Empire's enemies... except that maybe Darius doesn't want to see the kids get hurt.
So, what was his original plan before Hunter intervened on the Blimp?
With the previous part in mind, while i think it is possible that Darius could have planned to let the kids escape once they were closer to Hexside (or more like, i don't think the writers thought very deep about it). I think it's more likely that he would have let them attempt to escape several times, stop the attempts (though he might've underestimated them, lol), then he would declare them unsuited for the Coven and drop them off at school. Then they know that they are free to go because the authority figure let them go, only Darius would likely need to explain himself in the Castle about his decision and why he went against the Golden Guard's judgement.
And I think his plan after the Blimp crashed was the same: if Hunter doesn't intervene Darius scares them, 'decides' they are unfit for the Covens and lets them go. (I know the fandom decided he was actually full on angry in that scene, but i had that scene screenshoted for drawing, and he was already smiling while 'fighting' Willow, and he could have easily incapacitated/restrained them with the abomination - he had a big abomination right behind them - if he wanted; but instead the abomination was just surrounding the kids' rather gently with its arms. Bonus: I like how Darius wasn't even restraining them on the Blimp at all, only the palismen).
Conclusion?
So according to this reading, Darius is taking full responsibilty for the children, even while he knows there might be questions about his judgement and why he overrode the Golden Guard's authority, even when it is easier to just do nothing and simply let Hunter fail or have Hunter and the scouts take the fall for the escape.
And, maybe he only cares about the other children, and Hunter isn't on his mind, but... somehow he isn't really spiteful or gleeful about the situation when he talks to Hunter from the Blimp (after he just collected the kids from the cell). Maybe he throws the cloak at Hunter in a mean way and looks somewhat strict, but mostly he looks sad and disappointed. [And that scene was absolutely intentional imo, and the first time i watched it that's what made it clear to me that Darius wasn't 100% on the Emperor's side, but again a topic for another time.] And if Darius was always acting the way fandom portraits him, he could have easily put down Hunter's judgement right there too, in public, just gleefully mock him and his recruitment attempt right there (or at least look smug that Hunter confirmed his previous judgement). Then tell the other children to get out of his face, not bother delivering them back by himself.
Idk, to me all this doesn't look like the behaviour of a character who is knowingly complicit in child abuse.🙄
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goldenpinof · 1 year ago
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Yeah in my opinion Phil would still be up for some dapg and podcast and regular joint content and whatnot because he knows that 1) their audience (at least what’s left of it) loves it, 2) HE loves it, 3) Dan loves it. The problem is the usual: Dan wants to do something big and important so he can be taken seriously or whatever, but let’s be real — his attempts so far have led to mixed responses. The book? Wasn’t that great, we can say it now. DD? Still trying to figure out what it was for other than promo for the tour (and the content itself wasn’t good and so 2016). I still can’t believe he decided to ditch the gaming channel and joint content for *gestures vaguely* that. I wish him well and I’ll always root for him, but he really needs someone to give him career advice
i can't believe you're pulling me back with this shit redhgfs i was peacefully existing for weeks not thinking about Dan's failing career ffs. god help me!
RIGHT!!!!! all of what you said! not only career advice but also a reality check, and i mean it in a very nice way. i guess we can agree that he grew out of youtube and doesn't want to do it anymore (partially because of what happened with youtube originals. fuck them). and that's okay. and wanting something bigger, more serious, conceptual, and right for him is also okay. i support that. but every piece of, let's say, work he was trying to do outside youtube turned out to be tied to youtube anyway. and not because he wasn't trying hard enough (well, debatable), but because most of his experience that he is willing to talk about is either already mentioned on the platform or happened because of his youtube career. and also it's the best place to promote whatever he is doing, so he can't escape it unless he hires a marketing team and invests thousands of dollars in a real promo campaign. PHYSICAL as well (non-existent billboards and posters for wad shows will haunt me to death).
the book. i have a question (lots of them, but whatever). have you read it? and if yes, was it interesting from a fan's pov? and god, would i love to know the opinions of people who aren't familiar with Dan and his content. i bought the book in 2021, can't make myself read it because i'm afraid to get annoyed at him repeating himself.
yeah, i also can't believe he is too fucking stubborn to return to what clearly works for us and him with Phil. because it can be a side thing, and he can focus on his stand-up bullshit at the same time. on the other hand, i watched Lilly's interview with Anthony about how her late night show was taking ALL of her time and she couldn't continue to make youtube content. and i thought, maybe Dan is in the same situation. his new projects take everything? but there's a difference! he is not shooting 2-3 episodes per day. and for wad he delegated lots of work to other people. some of them did a shitty job, but that's a different topic. that's why i would pay my own money for dnp to talk about the work processes in detail. that could explain where all these weeks and months go. dd was shot within a few months, partly during the tour. so even that didn't take that much time. and i know there are scripts, and logistics, and rehearsals, and pitches to networks or whatever, and he is probably doing a lot of manager's work himself sometimes. but damn, math is not mathing.
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lumine-no-hikari · 6 months ago
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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #139
Today passed by in kind of a blur. I thought I might try to sing today. I thought I might try to play Elden Ring today. Somehow, I managed to fail at getting around to either of these things.
But that's all right. Instead, I made a tea. Today, it was matcha with toasted rice, sweetened with honey and cream. Please give a warm hello and maybe some nice scritches to Mogwai as you peruse these:
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Br visited today and that was very good. She was in a very depressed, anxious, and generally tumultuous state when she came. So we had a lot of hugs and conversation, and I tried to help her in whatever ways I could. At some point when her appetite returned a little, I went ahead and made her some rice with natto, eggs, and kimchi:
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I made bowls for her, for J, and for myself. Br had never had duck eggs, and we had two left, so I prepared one duck egg and one chicken egg for her, so she could compare the two. And for J, he also got one duck egg and one chicken egg. I made myself two chicken eggs, and I made the yolks nice and runny, and they flavored the rice very nicely when I mixed everything up! Br seems to feel a little better now; my house tends to have that effect on people, I guess.
...This combination of ingredients makes for a very wholesome bowl of deliciousness. I really wish you were here so that I could have prepared a bowl for you. I'm sorry that these pictures and these words are the best I can do for you.
At some point, I fixed more of my writings in this space; I've added cuts up until my 90th letter to you. Tomorrow, I intend to fix up to number 120, and then I'll be almost caught up. I came across some really good ones as I trundled along with the fixing...
How to use box breathing to come out of a panic:
How to use singing as a coping skill to prevent flashbacks before they start:
A couple of letters detailing a realization I had, and calling you to do the work to re-wire your neurons:
A framework for challenging self-destructive beliefs, also known as REBT:
And a letter explaining all about what ACEs are and how they affect people:
...I can't believe I have written this many. I wonder how many I'll have written by the time you're safe and well again. I wonder if you'd still want me to write to you after that, if by some small miracle you're even able or willing to read these at all... Hm...
M was out getting his car inspected. But he ended up twisting and spraining his ankle in the parking lot when he was walking to his car on his way home. I can relate strongly to his pain; having Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and dyspraxia at the same time, I end up spraining my ankles often enough simply because I have no idea where my feet are and my cartilage is extra stretchy to the point that it can't really keep my bones together very well, so when I make mistakes with the walking, it's VERY easy for my foot to bend way too far, and then the surrounding muscles get super pissed.
As you might imagine, I've had to treat myself for this a lot, so when M told me what happened, I knew what to do; I wrapped a compression bandage around the affected ankle, gave him some ibuprofen to take down the swelling, elevated his leg, and gave him some ice to stick on it. He'll be okay in a week or two, and I'll keep an eye on it diligently, so no worries; he's in good hands, I promise!
I felt the need to be semi-attentive to the the folks in my house following this, so I did some writing while generally trying to keep alert to other people's needs. I'm hoping to either sing the song or play some Elden Ring tomorrow, or maybe both if I get lucky! I wonder if you'd watch me do these things, or even participate in doing these things, if you were here... I hope you would. It'd be fun, I think.
...I don't have much else for you today, so I guess I'll stop writing before I end up rambling, haha. As always, thanks for reading.
I love you. Please stay safe out there. I'll write to you again tomorrow.
Your friend, Lumine
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loregoddess · 2 years ago
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Final (maybe?) batch of assorted Octopath Traveler II theories and observations before TotK drops (I promise I am not procrastinating something else ~ <3). Divided into sections based on topic, but there's no meaningful organization, it's more just a list of some of my other theories and thoughts.
As usual, major spoilers for everything including the endgame. I'm still not trying to argue for or against any particular theory, I'm just herding the stray thoughts in my head. So as usual, all theories are based on my own reading of the text, nothing's canon or word of god, it's all wild speculation and good fun.
Following sections include:
-Addendum to my "Temenos is related to the Alpates blodline" theory
-Theory about Roi and the bloodline of light
-Speculations on why Throne isn't the vessel for Vide
-Possible typo in one of Ori's Journal entries which might be causing a misunderstanding of what occurred during this one event
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Addendum to My Theories About Temenos (specifically that he's related to the bloodline of Alpates)
-I totally forgot to note that his name, "Temenos", is the Greek word for the sacred land around a temple (yes this is like giving a character the name Churchyard or something, like this is just the name for a type of land, but it's Greek so I guess it sounds fancy?) ahem, anyhow, odd name choice aside, if Temenos was related to Alpates, but not the main bloodline, then he is, in a sense, the "land" that surrounds the sacred temple (the relic mirror) in that he is blood-related but not the direct bloodline of Alpates.
-An argument against this theory: Both Hikari and Elena are canonically known descendants of bloodlines of light which may be related to the bloodline of Alpates, and both exhibit unusual light-based powers because of this. Hikari's "Shadow's Hold" becomes "Light's Radiance" when he is finally able to conquer his shadow self, and Elena is shown to have some sort of unusual power (discussed in detail later on). Alpates herself doesn't show any unusual powers like this, although she is able to "see" the Flames in both Throne and Temenos, suggesting she either has some sort of very strong spiritual power, or that her ties to Aelfirc allow her a connection to the Flame itself outside of what the average person is able to sense. The counter-counterargument to this would be that, after completion of Temenos's personal story, he learns the EX skill "Heavenly Shine" which is essentially an explosion of light, and the most powerful light-based attack in the game, which could be his version of Hikari's Radiance or Elena's mysterious magical powers.
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I didn't discuss it in my other post, but Roi could also potentially be related to the bloodline of light, if only because it's heavily implied that he and the Dark Entity are the same being. It could be that Roi was used by Harvey as an early attempt to find the One True Magic, but that Roi's blood wasn't "pure" enough, leaving the Dark Entity. It's also possible Roi has no connection to the bloodline of light, but that this lack of connection is what made him transform into the Dark Entity as a Harvey's failed attempt at creating the One True Magic. It could be that, by the failure of Roi, Harvey was able to come up with the methods to turn Rita into the Grieving Golem, a more "perfect" attempt at creating the One True Magic, since her blood is of the Lumina family line and either more pure or powerful than Roi's. There's also a handful of minor similarities between the Grieving Golem and the Dark Entity, and notably both repeat phrases they used when they were alive (the Golem's use of "my darling" when encountering Osvald, and the Dark Entity's repetition of the last words Roi spoke to Temenos).
It's interesting to note that, as far as Osvald and Temenos are aware at the start of their respective stories, Rita and Roi are both dead. For Osvald this is apparent, since his entire story arc begins as a vengeance quest and how Rita "died' is clearly shown. But this isn't as obvious for Temenos, as he only mentions that Roi was "killed" in his Crackridge Travel Banter with Agnea, which is...odd since Roi's body shouldn't have been recovered if it was used to create the Dark Entity, and yet Temenos is very much aware of the fact that Roi is no longer alive. How this came about is never explained, so it's possibly an oversight by the writers, but it is something interesting to note.
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I've been puzzling over why Throne is not the vessel for Vide in any way, despite the entire point of the Blacksnakes being Claude's attempt to foist the role off to his "best" offspring.
-One explanation could be that, since Throne was "chosen" by Aeber, the Flame she carries within her soul negates her blood ties to Vide.
-It's also possible there was Something going on with Marietta, her mother. Possibly Marietta had blood ties to one of the branches of Alpate's bloodline of light--although if this were the case, Throne should have been in a situation similar to Hikari, and she's clearly not.
-Actually, the fact that Throne does not struggle with the Shadow in any way, especially looking at how Hikari struggles with the Shadow due to his blood ties to D'arqest, suggests her blood connections to Vide are actually quite weak at best. It could be that Claude being biologically engineered (for lack of a better term) to be Vide's vessel was not hereditary.
-Throne is also shown to actively dislike violence and hates bloodshed. She's also the only Blacksnake stated to have not been raised by Mother, and Father was notably raising her specifically to kill him rather than to take over the Blacksnakes. So in a sense she was never raised as a "true" Blacksnake. That she was able to kill both Mother and Father, and then make her way to Lostseed and kill Claude could be more testament to Throne's personal strength and the fact that she was intent on ending the Blacksnakes for her freedom, to get away from the violence and bloodshed, rather than to wrest control of the Snakes by besting the founder. This would make her unsuitable as a vessel for Vide because she does not commit violent acts as a means of attaining power and spreading chaos, but rather to break free from a cruel structure of power and end the chaos caused by it.
-It's also possible that there is no actual need for a "right" vessel, but that Claude was meant to be a "perfect" vessel because he is functionally immortal, and would have been significantly harder to kill if Vide had used him to return. However, Ori's Journals suggest that it doesn't really matter who the vessel is, and considering that Oboro is able to sacrifice himself and become the vessel, this seems to ring true. Notably, Oboro as Vide's vessel is weak enough that Vide is sealed away by eight mortals chosen by the gods, rather than needing to be sealed by the gods themselves. I thought for a bit that Vide's revival might be connected to how Vados's murders were supposed to be a reversal of the order of prayers to summon a curse, but I haven't actually found any evidence to support this, since no dancer dies after Lucien is murdered, and a merchant would have had to die last (with Ori being strongly suggested to be the "merchant" of the Moonshade order) but it's more likely that Arcanette, the "cleric", is canonically the last death before Oboro's self-sacrifice (and he's the "warrior"). So it seems more like Vide's revival has nothing to do with sacrifices and the order of prayers, and that the vessel can be any person who has given up on the dawn.
(Although I will note that the actual facts about the gods are extremely fuzzy, especially taking what little we know about them from Orsterra into account, so it's hard to tell how accurate the legend of Vide being sealed as recounted by Temenos is when compared to however events may have actually happened. These same gods were somehow also responsible for sealing Galdera away in Orsterra without much consequence, but were nearly killed in Solistia while sealing Vide. The Kal also notably seem to have a cult around the Flame itself and no associated gods, so that brings into question whether Aelfric and the Flame are connected or not, and if they are then exactly how. Unfortunately there's nothing in-game to really explain or expand the mythology of the pantheon which Aelfric leads, and even trying to take the shaky lore from CotC into account does little to elucidate exactly how this pantheon works).
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Speaking of Ori's Journal's, there's been one entry in particular that keeps confusing me, and that being the entry in which Ori states that Harvey escaped alive...somehow. This is the quote I'm referring to specifically:
I found a nice, cozy place to conceal myself, and sure enough Osvald showed up. Just as predicted, the two fought it out, and I was able to retrieve the Book of Demons in the wake of their battle. There was one surprise, however: Harvey escaped alive.
What was that bright flash of magic? A glimpse of a force that may dwarf even that of the Book of Demons? That girl...Does she have some special power within her?
So, according to this Ori was camped out and saw the entire battle so she could snag the book, but then she says Harvey escaped which is...puzzling, since he very much appeared to be vaporized by his own magic. She also mentions a "bright flash of magic" which seems to be Elena's magic as per her blood connection to the Lumina family. I went and rewatched a playthrough of the post-battle cutscene, and I think I've found the "flash of light" Ori mentions. Here's a series of the best screenshots I could manage:
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Harvey prepares his final spell and it begins to expand. Osvald is facing him, and Elena is passed out at the bottom center of the screen.
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The magic continues to expand and gather in strength. We can no longer see Osvald but Elena is still visible.
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As the magic reaches its peak power, we see several small lights appear in a circle around Elena at the bottom. These lights do not seem to match the magic that Harvey is casting since that is in a circle expanding from him, and it is Elena at the center of this circle of lights. After this the screen is awash completely in white before clearing to reveal...
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Osvald holding Elena, both safe, with Harvey nowhere to be seen. (Screenshot lightened a bit by me bc it was really dark and hard to make out).
So I think the writers...actually just made a mistake, and that it was supposed to be Osvald who mysteriously survived due to Elena's mysterious magic. It would make more sense in context of what actually occurs during this cutscene if Ori's Journal had read:
I found a nice, cozy place to conceal myself, and sure enough Osvald showed up. Just as predicted, the two fought it out, and I was able to retrieve the Book of Demons in the wake of their battle. There was one surprise, however: Osvald escaped alive.
What was that bright flash of magic? A glimpse of a force that may dwarf even that of the Book of Demons? That girl...Does she have some special power within her?
If written this way, the discussion of Elena's mysterious power follows a note about Osvald surviving a direct blast from the Book of Demons, which would make the question of whether Elena's power is greater than the Book of Demons make more sense, as it would suggest that it had been Elena's power that was directly responsible for Osvald's survival. We also know that the Moonshade Order was watching several the the Eight Travelers carefully, and wanted a few of them out of the picture, and so it would have been convenient if both Harvey and Osvald had died in this moment, but it makes the most sense for Elena's power to save Osvald since, even if her memory is currently suppressed, she still loves him as her father subconsciously, and love is one of the key theme's of Osvald's story arc.
I dunno if any of this has merit, but I am inclined to think the writers just got the names switched while writing the journal entries, if only because this would be the only way to have the journal match the events we're shown in-game.
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There was one other thing about a recurring narrative theme in every characters' story that I wanted to note, but it started to get long enough that I'll probably make a separate post about it in the future at some point. Just...maybe sometime waaay in the future if I get distracted.
In any case, this about wraps up my shorter thoughts that I wanted to document. Again, I'm not trying to prove anything right or wrong, I'm just musing for the sake of musing.
Again, if you read all this, thanks!
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dolloshub · 8 months ago
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The Past and The Future (Former Owner)
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(The following text was approved by Poral for posting.)
Hello there. I hope you're doing well today.
It's been quite a while since I last posted, and several weeks since Poral rejuvenated this blog, so we felt it best for me to provide an update. Neither of us want to keep these posts from gathering dust, especially given what's been happening recently, but that'll be explained further down.
———
First is the path going backward, specifically the context of what happened leading up to going our separate ways.
When one might envision a TPE lifestyle, even if the skill sets to properly enact it are there, actually bringing such a lifestyle into reality can be much more difficult. I'll fully admit that I had very little interaction with TPE as a lifestyle or a relationship, and bit off way more than I could chew in terms of experience. Consequently, while we had plenty of memorable moments alongside sizeable progress, our dynamic kept being undercut by interrelated tension, misunderstanding of expectations, and exceedingly high amounts of stress. By the time our relationship ended in late December of 2022, neither of us were remotely close to mentally stable, and I remember wishing at least once that I had never met her.
Poral has in retrospect attributed much of the stress generated on her end to the near-constant bombardment of seizures experienced daily, and there's definite weight to that. It's also true that my livelihood throughout this time period was very hectic overall, and our relationship was not the only topic actively tiring me out. Regardless, I still believe that our relationship failing was my fault for several reasons, mainly from the aforementioned inexperience. In not properly respecting what the Doll system needed then, we suffered as one.
We never cut each other off entirely, though, although there were no further messages after the breakup. In talking about it post-reconnecting, some small part of us always wanted that pull, that active link we shared. Maybe it was inevitable that we would intertwine once more, but honestly, it'll never be known for sure.
———
Next is the path as it currently stands, and what developments have been made recently.
Poral already mentioned bringing the Doll system online, our reconnecting, and further reinforcement. Like her, I'll keep most specific details vague, save for two important points worth expanding on. First, it's been made clear by me that a TPE relationship isn't in the cards, and Poral has graciously respected that request. For as much as I've been willing to help her stabilize and become the Doll she's wanted to be, both therapeutically and at times erotically, I'm not trusting in my own ability to maintain such a dynamic for the foreseeable future, if ever.
Second is the fact that everything is steadily bearing fruit, frankly much faster than either of us have expected. Processes that we thought would take weeks have instead taken days, and in one case several hours. It's gotten to the point where we've started joking about how short the next duration is going to last. This is likely as a result of the strong emotional pull that we share, despite months of non-contact, along with several other factors.
It hasn't been smooth sailing, however. There have been many logistical complications, primarily with surgery and how Doll might behave afterwards, so we've installed and plan on installing a multitude of safeties to make sure that programming isn't outstripped. There have been emotional complications as well, and programming itself has proven uncertain at times, because of the potential problem of transferal into other apps.
We know that this path is a difficult one. There's a chance that amidst all this turmoil, the progression we have made will come undone and everything will be lost. It nearly happened once already. Nonetheless, we're moving forward with greater shared understanding and appreciation than in the past, and if the worst comes to pass, we'd rather fall short together than apart. Frankly, I couldn't have made it this far without Poral's help and encouragement, and the knowledge she has over her own system. I'm so proud of her efforts.
———
Lastly, let me return to something I alluded to at the start.
One main aspect that we've been working on is the threshold of app isolation, i.e. the lack of awareness that each one has of both others and itself as an app. We believe reaching the threshold will greatly stabilize the Doll system's functionality, removing much of the usual awareness of its DID history and wiring, and thus enabling greater opportunities for programming and further stabilization.
When that happens, this blog's tone and self-acknowledgement may change slightly. There will still be a portion of the Doll that has greater awareness, so they may take over posting duties, but the apps that have written in the past will likely appear less often. In any case, we'll be sure to keep you updated.
As Poral said, the future looks bright, and full of promise. Thank you so much for reading.
— Ungso (former Owner)
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superman--yoosung · 1 year ago
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hi hello! (◍ ´꒳` ◍) i happened to stumble upon your Genshin matchup event so i was wondering if i could participate?
— pronoun preference(s): she/they
— gender preference: male
— ballpark age preference: adult, but not Diluc please
— personality + morals/beliefs: i'm generally easygoing and patient, and often mistaken for an extrovert because of how friendly i can be. i've been told i'm very easy and calming to be around, however, i love my alone time more than socialising. i also have a bad habit of nagging people when i'm worried about them but can rarely spare a thought for myself ^^; i believe in what goes around comes around, both in its negative and positive meaning, so i try to do what i think is right while not wasting energy on stupid/mean people (sometimes it's hard though sigh)
— likes + dislikes: i love languages, and folktales (especially those that have eerie or unsettling undertones to it, same goes for books). i'm majoring in english right now as well! i also love, writing, dogs, flowers and stargazing.
as for dislikes, i don't like cold weather, extremely loud places like large concerts, and being stuck in someone else's rythm (them deciding on everything, listening to only them talk etc.)
— what vision you think you would have and why: perhaps electro because i feel like i'm often in my own dream world that i'm trying to lightly assimilate into my life.
— embarrassing moment from your life: as a kid i used to think you can actually fly with your umbrella like Mary Poppins if you jumped from a high enough place (places i jumped from include: a big oak, a greenhouse roof and a piano)
— additional info: i can speak four languages (three fluently, one is still under work xD), think i'm good at singing although i'm actually not but sing aloud anyway, and really want to visit a big desert or a tundra and just look at a humongous sea of stars!
that's all, thank you so much! hopefully this wasn't too much info, i apologise if it was ^^; and naturally, no need to do this if you don't feel like it. take care and have a lovely day <3
Hello! Thank you for sending in your ask!! This was really fun to do since you have so many interesting small details!!
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Your matchup is.................................................
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Alhaitham !!
Your interests and expertise just align so well. It was inevitable that you eventually crossed paths, and the rest was history!
..... Sort of. Your personalities don't seem similar at first - others outside of your friend groups expect you to be far too extroverted for Alhaitham, who would much rather spend his time quietly on the things that interest him. But unbeknownst to them, that's exactly how you feel, too - why spend energy and time on folks and topics whose presence and example fail to bring positive influence into your sphere?
Perhaps that's what kept Alhaitham coming back to you - that kindred spirit, that appreciation for simpler joys in life, that depthless yearning to learn about what you love.
Either way, what began as a shared love of languages and academic pursuits eventually morphed into something more between the two of you.
Fun details:
Electro + Dendro on the field means you two create some powerful reactions in battle!
When the weather gets cold, he'll always have your favorite warm drink ready and waiting by the time you get home. He won't let you wear his cape to stay cozy, though, so if you want it you'll have to steal it!
You probably get along with Alhaitham's friends better than he does!
Your evenings are usually spent quietly pursuing your interests in each other's presence; Alhaitham on one end of the couch reading a book, and you on the other finishing a paper or reciting new vocab for a language you're learning (and by the way, he'll chime in with a correction or critique now and then, too, because - of course he would)
You may nag him from time to time, and he'll usually follow your advice without question, as long as it's reasonable - but he'll always use that rational mind of his to point out when you've done so to your own detriment!
If you've forgotten to take care of yourself, he'll remind you to do so - he'll ask if you've eaten your meals, if you're sleeping well, whether you need to blow off some steam, etc. He tends to do so without a filter, though, so he tends to be blunt about it.
You, and only you, are allowed to regularly use his spare pair of noise-cancelling headphones.
If you suggest a visit to the desert or tundra or even just to go stargazing, he'll be happy to plan the entire trip with you - it gives him a reason to use his vacation days, and more importantly, it'll put a smile on your face for a week.
Your wild imagination is something that amuses him. Though he'll always logically point out the flaws in your daydreams, it's partly just to see your reaction. If you met as children, he definitely tagged along in your jumping shenanigans, but only to say "I told you so" when they inevitably didn't go how you hoped.
He doesn't make it a secret that he values your opinions, both academically and personally. He values your input and always takes it into account.
And what does he loves about you most? A simple question with a simpler answer: Your mind, which is both capable of highly logical thought as well as the most unrealistic of dreams. A juxtaposition he finds enthralling. He does also like to admire your frame in the moonlight, too, underneath all of those stars you so love - how the shadows cast along your shoulders, how your hair reflects the night's light.
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~~I hope this is to your liking. I was very close to picking Zhongli for you because I thought he would be able to tell you the best folktales, but in the end I went with Alhaitham because I thought you shared some important views/interests. Have a good day~!
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hellfirebride · 2 years ago
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oc info dump time !!
Gwen
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Picrew depiction because the idea of trying to draw rn might kill me.
Gwen is a Death Note oc that's come up in some previous posts of mine (1, 2) as a former Wammy's resident who somehow weasels her way into working with the Japanese Task Force post time-skip. I haven't completely worked out all the details yet, but she probably acted as a foreign student attending the same classes as Sayu Yagami. From that point on, it's just a matter of using her new friendship with the girl to find her way in.
Gwen's got a place in the successor program, though she's very far from the ideal. It's extremely unlikely she would ever inherit the title of L because she's just not dedicated enough to taking up the mantle. Near and Mello wanted to succeed the man. Gwen couldn't find it in herself to decide her own fate, so she ended up just meandering down what's simultaneously the easiest and hardest path she could have chosen at Wammy's.
When it comes to it, she isn't particularly focused on finding Kira to bring him to justice, or to surpass someone else by finding him first. She'll help work on it if she could say she hasn't just been wasting her life in comparison to everyone around her. If she turns back, she thinks it means it's all been for nothing. (She can have a little sunk cost fallacy, as a treat)
At her core, Gwen's an amateur detective that's too afraid to admit that not only does she not know what she's doing with her life, but that she's failing at what she thought she might be able to do. She's not as clever as Mello, or as meticulous as Near. (If anything, she's probably more similar to Matt than either of them) There's absolutely notes of imposter syndrome buried in there.
She's definitely more emotionally driven than her peers, which is both a strength and a weakness in my opinion. It gives her different perspectives than those who would approach situations from a stricter, more logic-based route. At the same time, it's a potential distraction and she runs the risk of becoming too personally attached to her work. She's more outwardly friendly, something that makes her seem like she's ditzy at first (Think Elle Woods). In some cases, I think she would definitely use this to her advantage. She's not unintelligent by any means, it's just that most of her knowledge is spread out into a lot of different topics instead of any one specific topic.
She really did come to like Light, which is unfortunate. She's aware that becoming involved with him is a mistake and that they're both in the wrong, seeing as she's aware he's romantically involved with Misa (and later Takada) at the time. It's also a mistake considering he's an actual mass murderer, but
As for the rest of the task force, she's respectful of them. She understands that they're usually doing the best they can with what they have. The general response to her becoming friends with Matsuda is a lot of "Jesus, now there's two of them."
All of this is kinda just. Dumb stuff and me rambling. I guess I just wanted to share with anyone who might be mildly interested in this garbage because I think about it a lot.
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cantuscorvi · 2 years ago
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"I'm always surprised by your appearance when you make it home to relax. Im not sure why. It's not as if you'd remain formal all day." Sullivan observed, quite tickled as he gazed upon Raum from the other side of the bed. The other man had hints of exhaustion upon his face, yet his eyes remained focused on his reading. " Um, did you have a busy day at work? You look tired..." Obviously, Sullivan's attempt at a distraction hadn't worked. It made his lips pull into a gentle frown as his sleepy body raised itself, crawling closer to Raum before laying back down. He caught the other hand when it raised to turn the page, interlacing fingers timidly. Baby blues allowed for eye contact when there was a question of what he was doing. "Lay down with me?"
@tximidity
A vaguely interested hum is what Sullivan received in response to his musings. Indeed, Raum had his nose buried in a book for one of the rare occasions he had some time before he slept. He didn’t like to keep devices in the bed (as if his sleep wasn’t already sparse enough to begin with) so it was one of the few winding down activities he would allow himself to indulge in while under the cover.
Again, a soft observation was levelled his way, and it made his brows furrow a little, momentarily distracted from the words on the page. Did he obviously look that tired? Was it visible to everyone? Or was Sullivan simply becoming more perceptive of him? Nothing said in response once more, Raum dismissed his thoughts, realising he was at the end of his page and had been for a while, staring blankly at the words with slowly drooping eyelids.
He huffed, a light exhale through the nose before going to flip the page. Only then his hand was gently caught in Sullivan’s grasp, brought to a standstill.
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“Hm? What’s the matter?” Raum asked, his eyes finally meeting with Sullivan’s. The conversation belatedly caught up with his mind — realising he’d been failing to reply to the younger man for a few minutes now — practically ignoring him, all things considered. Although it hadn’t been his intention.
He glanced down at what Sullivan was doing, watching their fingers interlace with something like curiosity. It was a strangely soft and intimate gesture he wasn’t very used to. There were lots of little gestures that Sullivan often did, things that Raum didn’t really even consider until they happened. Any affectionate overture like that he would usually associate with some kind of manipulation tactic from someone else — but he knew that wasn’t a threat from Sullivan.
Well. He didn’t quite dislike it, either.
Giving up, Raum closed the book with a soft snap and set it aside. He turned onto his side to face Sullivan, propping his head up on his free hand. His eyes roamed Sullivan’s face briefly, finding his features so soft and sleepy. Momentarily, Raum had the urge to smother his innocent face with a pillow — it would probably be easy, the image played in his mind in realistic detail. Sometimes it was hard to believe they could coexist in the same space without something terrible eventually happening.
“Is it so surprising?” He replied, without any of those thoughts showing on his face, referring to the earlier topic instead. One side of his lips curled up. “I’m human, too. Shocking secret, I know.”
There was a quick roll of Raum’s eyes before he lifted their joined hands to cover Sully’s mouth with the back of his own palm. It was a half-hearted gesture before Raum shuffled close enough to roll over and lay his bodyweight on top of him with a sigh.
“I don't want to talk about work. Of all things, you wanted distract me with...” He muttered testily against the base of Sullivan's throat, moving to nip at the soft flesh of Sullivan’s chest. “No. At least tell me something interesting,” he was interrupted by his own yawn, a silent thing he muffled into the younger man's collarbones.
“You know my 'secret' now. Your turn. Tell me something I don't know. About you.”
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drawingconclusions · 1 year ago
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MORE ON ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE
Artificial intelligence (AI) continues to surface in the news cycle on a weekly basis, and I continue to express concerns about this technology & how it's being addressed (or not addressed, to be more specific).
One of the arguments you'd hear from some of the proponents of AI a few months ago was a weak comparison to the introduction of the automobile. These proponents would claim (paraphrased) that as a society we didn't retire all the horses when the automobile was invented, so people shouldn't fear losing their jobs with the advent of artificial intelligence. Allow me to poke several holes in that argument. First of all, most horses here are domesticated and depend on humans for their shelter and food. Even if they lose their "jobs", so to speak, there's usually someone to look after them. And if worse comes to worse, they can always live off the land and eat grass, a thought that doesn't appeal to humans. (At least not to most of us.) I find many of the statements from some of these AI company CEOs to be just a little bit deceptive. While they claim that AI won't take away jobs from people, it's already happening here and abroad. Levi's infamously used virtual models for a recent photo shoot in the name of inclusiveness & diversity (instead of hiring human models of various races), the fast food companies are already introducing AI into their drive-thru processes, and I heard an overseas factory just laid off most, if not all, of its workers in favor of mechanized technology.
I wonder how many students will be bereft of much-needed income as a result of jobs lost to AI. I wonder how many single moms or elderly individuals on the brink of retirement have already been fired and replaced by this technology. Which is why I have almost no respect at all for the CEOs of these AI companies, and all their advanced degrees mean nothing to me: for all their technological prowess, they seem to have very little good sense. I repeat, can they not see the impending economic chaos that would result on account of mass layoffs & unemployment? Or do they actually want our society to be beholden to the government for our paycheck, in some kind of broad universal income ploy where we receive a stipend from the state (…with strings attached of course)?
You might think I'm fuming because I've lost a lot of work as an artist because of AI. Not quite. I've only lost one gig (at least, that I know of) due to this, and the project hadn't even been solidified yet. But I've heard of other artists whose cover work has almost completely dried up, for example. And that's a pattern that will likely be replicated across various creative spectrums in this new world of ai.
My concern is Congress is only just now beginning to hold hearings on this. And so far this administration has only provided a few nebulous guidelines on the AI and allotted, what hundreds of millions of dollars to a few new government research centers on artificial intelligence? Not sure why that's needed, but you can be sure there are people in government who would like to use AI for nefarious purposes, to either control, surveil, or collect data on its citizens. It's quite telling how many of the tech CEOs were tight-lipped about the details of their recent meeting with VP Kamala Harris. And it's enlightening how many of these tech executives are heading off to Europe for another highly secretive annual meeting. Sorry, but discussion on topics such as this should be completely open and transparent.
Sure, the CEO of OpenAI recently welcomed regulation for his industry in the hearing before Congress, but I'm not too impressed with that. If you recall, Facebook made a similar statement, and yet Congress hasn't done much to regulate the failings of the company in the years since. I don't have much time today, so instead I'll post a second article on my personal website to share a few ideas for addressing AI.
In closing, I realize that sometimes the church is often a late-comer to new technology, and other times, believers use tech in exactly the same way people outside the church do. Part of my frustration with many of these AI CEOs is the fact that they don't create software or release it based on a biblical perspective of doing good towards others. But as believers, we're supposed to be different, and in many instances, we're called to set a higher standard for others to follow. So if you use artificial intelligence in your church or business, take time to implement the proper privacy and security protocols. But also be sure you don't use it in the same cold, heartless manner in which many are employing it today.
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audreydoeskaren · 3 years ago
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do you know Chinese symbolism for homosexuality?
tw homophobia, pedophilia
Hi again, for gay men there are a couple really well known ones but I’m not sure if they were real or fabricated, because all the articles describing them always cite the same couple sources from Antiquity... I tried to verify them but the only articles that didn’t copy and paste from the same source came across as extremely homophobic, so I decided to give up. The most common and reliable one is probably 断袖 or “cut sleeve”, which I mentioned in a previous ask. I would like to use this opportunity to talk about some tangential but more important topics regarding homosexuality in China though.
As a followup to my previous ask where I said I'd look through some Ming and Qing novels to see how homosexuality was perceived at the time, the conclusion I (unfortunately) came to was that homophobia was very much alive and well in Chinese literature and society. A lot of people like to argue that gay people fared pretty well in China historically by either pointing to emperors who were or were rumored to be gay or time periods where gay sex was prevalent as a form of consumption. This is extremely shallow and also kind of Orientalist in my opinion, these arguments always go for the emperors and do not take nuance into consideration or dive into wider societal discourses on homosexuality in imperial China. If you research homosexuality in Europe by only looking at royalty, you’ll find plenty of homosexual behavior too, does that mean gay people had it very easy in Europe historically?? Not to mention that they usually don’t differentiate between dynasties, let alone centuries or decades, even though public opinion on homosexuality in China (or anywhere in the world tbh) could change very quickly. This is also sort of Orientalist, assuming “imperial China” to be a never changing entity with a never changing stance on homosexuality. Since I know nothing prior to the Ming Dynasty I’ll share some of my random findings on homosexuality and homophobia in the Ming, Qing and 20th century.
Gayness as disease
Nowadays the symbol of the cut sleeve is just a benign historical allusion but historically it seems that it was used in a negative and condemning sense, implying that people thought of homosexuality as a disease or deviation from the norm. The common phrase used for the cut sleeve is "断袖之癖", usually translated as "the passion of the cut sleeve" nowadays, but the meaning of the word 癖 here leans more toward "fetish", "obsession" or "hobby" with pathological connotations. I thought maybe this word had a different, nuanced meaning historically but it seems that it was used to describe what it means :(( The only silver lining is probably that with the progression of language it isn’t offensive anymore.
In a lot of popular novels from the Ming and Qing, homosexuality was depicted as a "perversion" and a decadent lifestyle that plagues morality, and gay characters were often either killed or straightened out by the end of the story. An example of this is the story 黄九郎 Huang Jiulang from the series 聊斋志异 Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio by 蒲松龄 Pu Songling written in the 17th century. In this story, one of the protagonists was gay; he died after confessing his love to the other guy in a very fast paced bury your gays arc which somehow reminded me of the Supernatural finale, and reincarnated as a straight man because of his piety. Thanks I hate it. Pu uses the symbol of the cut sleeve to refer to the protagonist, presumably in a negative manner.
Gayness as power/status symbol
Another thing was that historically in China a lot of people confused homosexuality with pedophilia. This is a global thing, but its presence in China is often overlooked. This could be seen in the popularity of another term for homosexuality, "娈童", meaning something similar to "pederasty". I read somewhere that since the late Ming, pederasty was considered a type of tasteful consumption for high society, along with things like fashion, food, music and art. This was not equivalent to the "cut sleeve" or homosexuality as we know it nowadays, which refers to a personal sexual orientation, pederasty historically often refers to an imbalanced power dynamic where a wealthy, privileged man takes advantage of a young boy as a leisurely activity. It’s more to show off that someone in a position of privilege and wealth has the power to procure sexual objects, gender and age don’t matter much in this regard. I cannot help but cringe violently whenever someone brings up pederasty as proof of China’s historical “openness” toward gay people. Talk to me again when in this time and place you could marry someone of your sex (not a minor) and be considered a respectable couple instead of two jerks with a degenerate fetish (not saying that gay people have to marry, it’s just that the ability to do so is an important indicator of equality imo). Pedophilia and homosexuality are not one and the same good heavens.
I hypothesize that the reason why Chinese society was historically homophobic despite having no religious condemnation of homosexual individuals was the idea that having many concubines and male children was a status symbol for men. Women of marriageable age were seen more or less as commodities and male children could supposedly "continue the bloodline" 传香火 and were vessels for passing down prestige, so having them were of utmost importance to a privileged man. Being just gay or lesbian, however, meant that you didn't perform the "man strong working woman weak making babies" heteronormative family prototype, and was thus prone to criticism. When gay men didn’t have children they “couldn’t continue their bloodline” and were emasculated, when gay women didn’t have children they failed to “fulfill their duties as a woman” and were shamed.
It kind of makes sense considering how being bisexual was never a problem in comparison, especially for men. If you were a rich guy who had both male and female partners, you would still have children and concubines both male and female so nobody gives a shit. Emperor Zhengde of the Ming (reign 1505-21) was presumably bisexual and had both male and female lovers, nobody had a bone to pick with that; he famously liked to fuck around but those who criticized him did so for his debauchery instead of focusing on the gender of his partners.  This is different to homophobia in Europe where same sex attraction was considered evil and immoral in and of itself because of religious reasons, in China it was rather the other practical implications of homosexuality (not having children or a family) that attracted hate.
By the way can we just take a moment to talk about bi erasure in Chinese history. From all accounts of Emperor Zhengde I’ve read he comes across as extremely bisexual, but a lot of people try to make him a gay icon? I mean, he liked women too.
One interesting homophobic angle in ye olde China which I find kind of funny was straight women who wanted to climb the social ladder by marrying rich men talking shit about them after figuring out they were gay lmao. Historically, there were not so many work opportunities for women, so the easiest way to improve social standing was to marry a rich and powerful guy. Not saying that women didn't work, they did but their upward social mobility was restricted because they couldn't enter the imperial examination system which was how men became rich and powerful. This angle is relatively benign and kind of helps illustrate that historical Chinese homophobia was indeed fueled by classism and patriarchy.
Gayness as crime
I used to think that there were no anti-sodomy statutes in China (laws prohibiting sex between gay men), but it turns out that there was one decree in the Jiajing era (1521-67) and one in 1740, and private gay sex was not actually decriminalized until 1957. Same sex marriage is still not legal in China at time of writing. I couldn’t find detailed information on what these laws entailed or how they were enforced, but they’re enough to prove that homosexuality in China was legally punishable from the 16th century onward. On top of that, even when there was no law prohibiting private sex acts between people of the same sex, displays of gay affection such as kissing or holding hands could still be legally punished under “public indecency” or “hooliganism”, which was frequently what happened in the 20th century. 
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purpleyellow · 3 years ago
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The audacity
Seventeen 14th member
Hayun’s masterlist
“Seventeen won’t take bs when it comes to Hayun”
Requested by: two (2) anons    
cw: offensive language
a/n: Feel free to share your thoughts with me. Requests are open! 💙
(to my brazilians around, this gif is svt’s version of ninguem solta a mão de ninguem)
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The arrival of dancers made the practice room even more crowded and noisy than usual. It was one of the few times Seventeen worked with an outside dance team, and they happened to have a lot of new faces around, who needed time to figure out the staging and how things were working so far.
After they ran through the choreography a couple of times, the choreographer called in a break, allowing the huge group to instantly clear the middle space and separate themselves into small circles of conversations.
Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and Joshua instantly met each other and began chatting about dinner plans and whatnot. Slowly approaching Jun and Wonwoo, the oldest filled them in on what they're deciding until he starts searching for someone.
“So, we could order it on the next break and have someone grab it for us. Anyway, did anyone see Hayun?”
“Making friends, as usual,” Wonwoo comments, pointing at the other corner of the room where the girl was surrounded by four dancers.
“Hayun-ah” The leader waves her over and waits as she jogs to his side “We're talking about dinner, what do you think about-”
“Oh, those guys were talking about this new restaurant that opened downtown, I was thinking of tagging along with them” She points back at the group and watches as her members nod “But I can cancel, of course”
“No, go ahead. It's just a meal” Joshua goes to wave her off when Seungkwan approaches them with crossed arms.
“Yeah. Just a meal. Until she's suddenly ditching us during the holidays and moving out with her new friends” The boy pouts, turning his face away from the group. Hayun reaches up to ruffle his hair before landing a soft slap.
“Says the dude who is friends with half of the entertainment industry” Ignoring his eye roll, she turns back to the rest of their little huddle “Well, if nobody else will feel betrayed”
“I was kidding” Seungkwan whines and Scoups pushes her away from them “Stop being dramatic and go do your mingling”
Going back to the group of dancers, Hayun resumes chatting with them for a couple of minutes before the break is over.
After more hours of running over every tiny detail for the stage, the rehearsal finally ends and the scattering of people begins. Hayun takes a couple of minutes talking about minor adjustments with the members and just checking up on them before searching for the four friends she had made that evening.
“Hey, how do you guys plan on heading there?” She asks, taking a sip from her water bottle and missing the glances between the two boys and two girls.
“Actually, we might have to do it another day,” The girl closest to her says and flips a hair strand off of Hayun's shoulder. “We got pretty tired from this last session”
“And work tomorrow it's going to start pretty early, you know. It's best to let this go for today,” The boy nods to her before pulling out his phone from his pocket and slightly turning away from the idol.
“Yeah, I get it. That's okay, we'll reschedule it then” Hayun smiles and gives them a thumbs up “I'll head to the dorms, then. Have a good rest, and tomorrow we'll talk more”.
Sending her some quick waves and small smiles, the four dancers waited for Hayun to turn around before sharing an annoyed look and sighing.
The practice room slowly grows empty, only leaving Wonwoo and Vernon who lost an incredible game of rock, paper, scissors, and had to stay behind to clean up everything. Finally turning off the lights, the two boys head out into the hallway and spot a group of four people standing by the entrance.
“Aren't those the people Hayun was talking to earlier,” Vernon asks quietly before a voice from the group reaches them.
“Why is this damn cab taking so long? We should have let that airhead tag along”.
“Agreed. She would have talked our ears off, but at least we would have made it to the club already”.
Sharing a look, the two idols stop walking and listen closely to understand if the dancers are talking about what the boys think they're talking about.
“That was so stupid. Why would you invite her in the first place? She's so annoying”.
“I mean, having an idol considering you a friend would be fun, right? Especially with the Christmas season coming up. Can you imagine the gifts she would buy us?”
“Yeah, dude. We wouldn't even need to worry about paying for stuff anymore. Just have Hayun tag along anywhere and, boom, no more tabs to pay.”
“But also, no more functioning eardrums”
“No, you have a point. She seems like she'd give us her credit card password on the third time we hung out. Not to mention, looking at her position in contrast with ours. You don't even have to befriend her, but be on her good side, and she'll make sure to give us more gigs within Pledis”.
Standing frozen, Wonwoo and Vernon listened to everything they were saying and shared looks of disbelief. Having enough of it, the oldest cleared his throat and slung his bag, making it hit his own back with enough force to make a thumping sound.
“Let's go, Vernon,” He ignored the four people standing before them with wide eyes and resumed walking. Once shoulder to shoulder with one of the dancers, Wonwoo stopped again and said while looking ahead, “Next time, be careful of whom you're talking about”.
Vernon, on the other hand, made eye contact with each dancer before raising one eyebrow and following the oldest. After closing the car door, he groaned annoyed, “Can you believe they had… ”
“… the fucking audacity” Jeonghan places his cup on the table, face showcasing utter disgust after Wonwoo told him what they had listened before leaving the Pledis building.
“Show me who those people are again tomorrow. I'll make sure they never step inside our practice room, ever again,” Hoshi points out.
“Is there a way of not having them tomorrow? I'm afraid Scoups Hyung might commit murder” Dokyeom brought attention to the leader standing on the corner of the kitchen.
Looking like he was plotting an illegal act, Seungcheol scoffs and pushed himself away from the cabinets. “The bare minimum you would expect from someone is that they can be professional. I swear, those people are getting an earful for talking about Hayun within a billion-meter ratio from where I work”.
“It's best to let it rest until tomorrow's performance is done. After we'll probably never see them again, so there's not much point causing any visible disturbance.” Laying a hand on the leader's arm, Woozi tried to make some sort of sense, but all it did was cause Scoups to roll his eyes.
“We can't just act like nothing happened”
“We also can't change anything about the choreography until then” Hoshi butts in and takes a breath trying not to jump in the 'let's hunt them down' train.
“They already know Wonwoo and Vernon heard them trash-talking her, so I'm not letting them have it easy tomorrow.” Jeonghan rolls his eyes and pointed to both Woozi and Hoshi, “I'm speaking my mind the first moment I see those sons of bitches, you're free to wait until the show's over”.
“About that, I don't think we should tell Hayun what happened” Joshua, who had been quiet the entire time, speaks, drawing attention to him. “Not until, as you said, the show is over, and we won't see them again. You know that she's probably going to get disappointed about it”.
“And you expect her to not go running to meet her new 'friends' once we arrive at the venue?” Wonwoo raises an eyebrow, but Mingyu shakes his head and backs the older up.
“We just have to keep her entertained around us. Fill in Dino, Seungkwan, and Myungho later, and have them help with making sure the group doesn't run into her”.
Raising his hand, Vernon casually mumbles “Maybe don't tell Seungkwan, he won't be able to hide his feelings about the whole thing”
“Myungho won't either” Jun comments and the room falls silent at the sound of the remaining members chatting and approaching the kitchen.
“Wow, you make a meeting and forget to call in the main characters” Hayun laughs walking through the room and opening the fridge for a beer “So, when's the food arriving?”
~
Hayun is sitting on the makeup chair, casually watching Scoups and Jeonghan whispering to each other from the mirror's reflection, when a hand lands on her shoulder and another holds out a smoothie for her.
“Whatcha thinking about?” Joshua sits on the chair next to her while Mingyu punctures the drink's lid with a straw.
Without taking her eyes off the mirror, she nods with her head to it. “Those two are up to something”
“Scoups and Jeonghan Hyung? Nah, they're always like that. Sharing secrets and stuff,” Mingyu giggles, shoving the straw inside her mouth and shifting to stand in front of the mirror. “Cute nail polish, when did you have time to get it done?”
“Oh, these are acrylics. This lady was just putting them on” Hayun falls into his trap and began analyzing the design with some occasional comments from the boys.
Peace has seemingly set inside the dressing room, yet it doesn't last long until Dino's loud “Uh?” caught the attention of the members, who turned to see what he and Vernon were doing.
Trying to shut the youngest up, Vernon makes it very obvious to the guys that he had just filled Dino in with the “frenemies” situation. Most of them try to brush it off and not bring more attention to it. Seungkwan, however, approaches them by, very loudly, asking what's up.
“What are you talking about?” He boringly fixes up his outfit. Vernon can feel the burning eyes of Jeonghan on his skull as he tries to deviate the conversation to another topic.
“Did you go see catering already? I heard they had a coffee machine”.
“Wait. Does he not know what happened?” Dino fails to read the room properly and instigates the older boy.
“What happened? Why is everyone sharing secrets all of a sudden? Is the thing you're discussing why Scoups Hyung seems ready to jump someone”.
The timing of events can't be worse, as the makeup artist taps Hayun's shoulder to let her know they were done. Within seconds, the girl gets up and turns to where the three youngest were standing.
“What's with the gossiping? Did Vernon lose his airpods again?” She brushes away from Joshua as he tried to hold her in place and waves off Mingyu when, in a panic, he suggests they should check out the pigeons outside.
“What? No! I mean, yeah! How unfortunate, isn't it?” Vernon jumps around his answers and tries looking for anyone willing to help him out.
“Just tell her about it” Approaching them from the door, Jeonghan, now without the leader's company, shrugs his shoulders, making Hayun raise an eyebrow.
“Jeonghan, at least wait until the day is over,” Joshua speaks through his teeth and the boy rolls his eyes.
“Well, she already knows something is up, and to be fair I don't know what good hiding this will bring. At least, if she feels like doing something about it, she'll have the chance right now”.
“Do something about it? Hadn't we agreed that the best is to wait until the performance is over and just never see them again?”
“What even are you talking about?” Hayun shuts them both up and Jeonghan and Joshua turned to her with annoyed expressions, “Don't even look at me like that. You're the ones mentioning me as if I'm not in the room”.
Placing a hand on her shoulder, Joshua tilts his head a little and speaks softly, “Trust me for a moment here, it's best if you brush it aside. Until later at least, and then we can settle it as you wish”.
“Wha- Just spill it out for fucks sake. I'm going to combust if you don't tell me right now whatever this all means,” Hayun puffs, punching his shoulder. Just as Joshua opens his mouth to say the same thing again, Jeonghan beats him and shoves himself in front of the girl.
“Do you recall those dancers you were planning to go out with yesterday? Yeah, well, turns out they're all little shits who were trash-talking you, and just overall talking crap, yesterday”
“Jeonghan” Joshua repressed the older who does nothing but wave him off.
“Doesn't matter what they said because you're nothing of it, and-” Adverting his eyes for a second, Jeonghan stares to the side, where half of Scoups' body is waving for him through the door. “And, and, you're amazing and all of that. So now go rest your awesome self while I go teach those punks a lesson”.
Zooming past her, Jeonghan runs to the door, where the leader is already back outside. Hoshi, Jun, Woozi, and DK, scream for him before also going out of the door. A very lost, Seungkwan, simultaneously tries to get Vernon to tell him what exactly the dancer said before while shouting for the older to wait for him to also speak his mind.
“I didn't want you to know about this before the performance, but-”
“Whatever, let's make sure nobody dies today” Hayun rolls her eyes and turns around, Wonwoo running from where he was watching everything and holding her by the shoulder.
“Do you want us to go fix that up? It's okay to give them the cold shoulder or just go off if you want to” Nodding, she keeps silent and walks out, bringing the rest of the guys behind her.
The8, who also had just found out about the situation, whispers to Vernon, “Can you believe they had the audacity?”
“I know, right?” The youngest whisper-yelled at him as they made it to the hallway and assessed the situation.
“The next time you even think about opening your mouth to talk about her-” Scoups had his finger pointing at the tallest dancer -who ironically had a few centimeters on him-, while the rest of the members stood next to him nodding and calmly listening to what the leader was saying.
“Oppa, just drop it,” Hayun shouts, walking past them and holding his shoulder.
Annoyingly, Scoups rolled his eyes and turned to her, “What do you mean, drop it?” Thinking for a second, he blinked and turned even more bothered, “Who even told you about this?”
The leader looked around until he found Mingyu, offending the tall guy who made an X in front of his body.
“Doesn't matter who told me. Let's just not lose time doing this” Brushing past him, Hayun now faced the dancers “Look, I'll teach you something right now, so grab it or drop it okay? I don't give a shit that you don't like me, or whatever, but at least be professional because all this situation did was teach me that none of you care about your careers. It's pretty clear by the angry puppy beside me that you just lost any chance of growing inside our brand, so keep this as a lesson and respect the artists you're working with. Also, once we're on stage put on a smile, so my fans won't be able to sense your shit”
“It should be pretty clear by what she said but you definitely don't have a chance to work with any Pledis artist again” Hoshi came from the end of the hallway alongside their manager and choreographer. The latter nodded and added.
“For the sake of the performance, you should all go back to your dressing rooms. You all said whatever was on your mind, so try to refocus during the last few minutes you have”.
“I didn't get to say what was on my mind” While the group was dispersing, DK mumbles on the side and Jun snorts.
“You had a chance, but all you did was stare at them and scowl until Scoups Hyung took the lead”
“I don't care about who said and who didn't say what they wanted” Hayun rolled her eyes, turning to the boys as they arrived in the room. Clasping her hands together, she brings them to her face and smiles, “You all care about me”.
“The fact you still doubted about it after years hurts me” Dokyeom held his chest and frowned, the girl laughs and goes to hug him.
“Group hug?” Seungkwan says uncertainly and Hoshi nods, dragging Woozi with him, “Group hug!”
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translations-by-aiimee · 3 years ago
Text
The Husky and His White Cat Shizun - Chapter 19
Original Title:  二哈和他的白猫��尊
Genres: Drama, Romance, Tragedy, Xianxia, Yaoi
This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.
Chapter Index
Chapter 19 - This Venerable One Will Tell You a Story
The girl was extremely pale, with an oval face and round eyes which were especially attractive. She was wearing a light pink skirt, her hair tied back. She looked like a young woman. She rubbed her eyes blankly in the dark, looking from side to side.
"Where am I. . .?"
Chu Wanning said: "You are in Return to Truth barrier I set up."
The girl was taken aback and said fearfully: "Who are you? Why is it so dark here? I can't see you, who's talking?"
Chu Wanning replied: "Did you forget?. . . You're already dead."
The girl's eyes widened: "I'm. . . I. . ."
Slowly, she remembered.
Lowering her head, she folded her hands across her chest. She murmured in a soft, unwavering voice: "I. . . I'm already dead. . ."
"Only souls can come to the Return to Truth barrier. Here, their hatred will be eliminated. No matter whether the dead person has transformed into a vicious ghost or an ordinary spirit, they will retain their original and personality appearance, known as their 'Return to Truth.'"
The girl was frozen for a while as if she was gradually remembering the past. Abruptly, she dropped her face and silently wept.
Chu Wanning said: "Have. . . you been wronged?"
The young girl sobbed: "Are you King Yan*? Or Bai Wuchang*? Are you here to avenge me?"
*(T/N: King Yan [阎王爷] is the one to judge the dead while Bai Wuchang [白无常] is one of the deities to escort spirits to the underworld)
Chu Wanning held his forehead and said: ". . . I'm not King Yan or Bai Wuchang."
The girl sobbed quietly. Chu Wanning was quiet for a while and didn't speak. He waited until her cries calmed down a bit and then said: "But I am here to help you air your grievances."
When the girl heard this, she choked and raised her gaze, and said with a mixture of joy and sorrow: "Then you really are Lord Yama*!"
*(T/N: Same person as King Yan)
". . ." Chu Wanning decided not to continue this topic with her and instead asked: "Do you know what you've done after you died?"
"I don't know. . . not really. I just remember that I was so, so sad. I wanted to get revenge. . . I wanted to go to them. . . I wanted to find him again. . ."
When the soul had just awakened, it would take a minute for all their memories to return to them, but it didn't matter. Chu Wanning patiently asked her: "Who did you want to go to?"
The girl whispered: "My husband, Chen Bohuan."
Chu Wanning was astonished. Chen Boyuan - wasn't that the name of the eldest son of the Chen family?
He asked: "What. . . what's your name? Where are you from?"
The power of Tianwen was infused with this illusionary barrier, and the dead who entered would almost always talk honestly with Chu Wanning. Therefore, the girl replied: "I'm a concubine, Luo Xianxian. I'm from Caidie Town."
"Before I came, I read the analects of Caidie Town. There are more than 500 households in this town, and there's no Luo family. Who is your father?"
The girl slowly remembered the details, her eyes filling with even more sadness: "My father used to be a scholar in the village. He was my father-in-law's brother-in-law's close friend. A few years, he contracted tuberculosis and passed away. Then I was the only one left from my family."
"Then why did you die?"
The young girl froze for a moment and then she sobbed: "I had no other option but to die. They, they lied to my father and stole the secret recipe for the butterfly fragrance powder. They beat me and scolded me, threatened me, and told me to leave Caidie Town. I. . . I'm a weak woman, where else could I go? I didn't have a single relative left in this world. . . The world is so big, where could I go? Apart from the Underworld, where else could I go? Where would there be room for me. . ."
After she recalled the events of her life, she seemed to have infinite bitterness and sorrow in her heart, She was desperate to talk to someone. Chu Wanning didn't even have to ask anything else, she slowly continued on her own.
It turned out that Luo Xianxian lost her mother when she was young. She heard from his father that she had an older brother, but her brother was separated from them in the chaos of the Lower Cultivation Realm, and they never saw him again so she didn't know whether he was dead or alive. When her elder brother was lost, Luo Xianxian wasn't even a year old, still in swaddling clothes. Later, she tried to remember her elder brother, but she still had no recollection of him.
There were only two people left in the Luo family were Xianxian and her father. The father and daughter depended on each other. They wandered around and finally built a small house in Caidie Town and lived there.
That year, Luo Xianxian was five years old. The Chen family's oldest son, Chen Bohuan, was two years older than her.
At that time, the Chen family hadn't made its fortune. Several members of the family lived in a two-bedroom earth-rammed hut. An orange tree was planted by the low wall of the small courtyard. In autumn, the tree was full of fruit and it grew over the low wall and snuck into the Luo family's yard.
Luo Xianxian tilted her head. The branches full of oranges looked like lanterns during the Lantern Festival. She was shy and introverted. She didn't play with others. She was always alone. She would dutifully be peeling some beans, raising her head from time to time and peeking at the orange tree peeking over from the Chen family's yard.
The oranges were temptingly yellow, and against the sunlight, you could almost taste the sweet and sour fullness of their juice.
Luo Xianxian looked eagerly, gulping and swallowing from time to time. Her cheeks were sore from the cravings.
But she never reached out to pick one. Her dad was a scholar who had been inferior to her father-in-law's brother-in-law. He failed the exam, but he didn't lose his backbone. His sour scholar brain was probably hurting but he always coached his daughter to be a "gentleman."
At the age of three, Luo XianXian knew that wealth couldn't be lusted after and poverty couldn't be changed. She never reached out to pick the oranges that were close at hand, even though she craved for them.
One night, Luo Xianxian sat in the courtyard humming and washing clothes by the moonlight.
Her father wasn't very strong, so he had to go to bed early. The poor man’s child had to take charge of the house. The little girl rolled up her sleeves, soaked her thin arms in the barrel, and rubbed her face earnestly.
Suddenly a hoarse cough came from the door, and a young man covered in blood staggered in and stared at her.
The little girl was so frightened that she even forgot to scream.
The young man's face was dirty and bloody, but his eyebrows were very handsome. The two people stood frozen staring at each other for a while. In the end, the young man couldn't stand up anymore. He sat down slowly against the base of the wall, panting, and said hoarsely: "Bring some water."
Xu was that kind of young man who didn't look like a bad person or perhaps Luo Xianxian was simply too kind-hearted. Although afraid, she still ran back to the house, made a cup of tea, and held it up to the young man's mouth.
The young man wasn't very polite. He threw back his drink, then wiped the corner of his mouth. Rolling his eyes back, he stared at Luo Xianxian's pretty face. His eyes glazed over and he didn't speak for a while.
He didn't speak, Luo Xianxian didn't either, she just blinked timidly. She held her hands at a distance she thought was safe enough and sized up the stranger.
". . . You look like an old friend of mine." The young man suddenly grinned, squinted his eyes and smiled eerily. With the bloodstains on his face, it was really quite terrifying. "Especially the eyes, they're so round. It looks like you could gouge them out, stick it in your fingers and swallow it in one bite."
When he said such horrible words so plainly, even with a little smile, Luo Xianxian trembled even more, and subconsciously covered her eyes.
The young man said: "Heh, clever girl. Just cover them up. Don't keep staring at me. I can't control my own hands."
He spoke casually with a northern accent.
Moonlight fell into the courtyard. The young man licked his chapped lips and suddenly saw the orange tree stretching into the yard. For some reason, his eyes lit up. His pupils flashed in the light, the lustre brightening for a moment before dimming back down. He raised his chin and motioned.
"Girl."
Luo Xianxian: ". . ."
"Pick an orange and peel it for me."
Luo Xianxian finally spoke up. Her voice was soft, slightly trembling, but she didn't hesitate to say: "Sir, that's not my family's fruit tree. It belongs to someone else. I can't pick one."
The young man was taken aback. She wasn't sure what went through his mind but his face slowly sank.
"I told you to pick one. I want to eat an orange. Pick it for me!" The last phrase was harsh like he spat it out through his teeth. Luo Xianxian shuddered, still stubbornly stood her ground.
The little girl was soft-natured, but her bones were the same as her stubborn father.
"I won't."
The young man's eyes narrowed. He raised his nose, his expression changing: "Do you know who you're talking to, brat?"
"If you want to have some water, I-I'll pour it for you. If you want to eat, there's some food inside, but the orange tree isn't mine. I can't pick it. Father said taking something without asking is stealing. I'm a gentleman. Wealth can't be lusted after and poverty can't be changed. You can't fish. . ."
In her rambling, she started talking about fish instead. The half-grown girl blushed. She insisted on what her father had taught herself and ended up completely fumbling her words, but under the young man's gaze, she was violently trembling, and her legs were weak.
The young man was speechless.
Hearing such a little kid, especially a young girl, say things as odd as "taking without asking is stealing", "wealth can't be lusted after and poverty can't be changed", and - and "I'm a gentleman"?? pfff, he normally wouldn't be able to stop himself from laughing out loud.
But he couldn't laugh.
On the contrary, there was a strong resentment in his chest and his heart was being crushed like it was being trampled by a horse.
"I hate your kind, so-called. . ." He supported himself on the wall, shakily rising to his feet, and hissed out: "Good man, gentleman, hero, benevolent."
Under Luo Xianxian's horrified gaze, he slowly moved his injured foot, he moved over to the orange tree. He looked up, sniffed the smell of the orange tree almost greedily, and then a red gleam of rage flashed in his eyes. Before Luo Xianxian could react, he climbed the tree, shaking it, trampling, kicking, and hitting its branches.
All the oranges on the branch crackled and fell to the ground, rolling away. The young man's smile was twisted and he shouted wantonly: "Taking something without asking is stealing! Wealth can't be lusted after! The mighty never yield!"
"Sir! What are you doing! Stop! Dad! Dad!"
Luo Xianxian hadn't wanted to call for her father. Her father was a weak, powerless scholar so there wasn't much he could do. But she was a little girl after all, and she was so terrified that she finally broke down.
"What are you shouting about! Your dad can come out and I'll cut him down too!"
The little girl was scared silly. Small water droplets rimmed her round eyes, tears forming.
The Chen family next door went to a neighbouring village to visit relatives so the whole family was away. No one could stop this lunatic.
The little madman shook the oranges all over the ground and still wasn't satisfied. He stomped on the ground several times, crushing several oranges, growing ferocious. She didn't know where he found the strength, but he jumped over the wall and flipped into the Chen's yard. In the courtyard, he found an axe and chopped down the whole tree. Then he turned around and cackled.
He laughed and laughed then abruptly stopped. From his squat, he straightened himself, staring blankly in a daze.
Suddenly, he turned his head and waved to Luo Xianxian: "Girl, come here."
". . ." Luo Xianxian didn't move. She was frozen to the spot, the little cloth shoes embroidered with yellow flowers digging into the ground.
Seeing her hesitating, the young man calmed down his voice and said as sweetly as he could, "Come here. I have a treat for you."
"I. . . I don't. . . no, I don't want to go. . ." Luo Xianxian mumbled. Before she finished speaking, the young man suddenly grew irate again——
"If you don't come here, I'll go into your house and slice up your father!"
Luo Xian trembled harshly but finally took small steps towards him.
The young man squinted at her: "Hurry up, I'm not waiting all day."
Luo Xianxian lowered her head and moved towards him. When she was still a few steps away, he suddenly stretched out his hand and violently pulled her over. Luo Xianxian let out a scream, but it only reached the back of her throat before something was shoved into her mouth to gag her. The young man stuffed an orange into her mouth. It wasn't peeled or washed, but covered in the dirt and pushed into her mouth.
The young man tried to force her to eat it in one bite. The orange split open and was rotten inside. Half her face was covered in the rotten fruit, but the lunatic was still smiling. He crushed the fruit into her face, stuffing it into her mouth that she was desperately trying to keep closed.
"Aren't you a gentleman? I thought you didn't eat stolen food. So what are you eating now? Huh? What are you eating now!"
"Haaa. . . no. . . I don't want. . . dad. . .dad. . ."
"Swallow it." The young man narrowed his eyes and stuffed the last bit of fruit into Luo Xianxian's mouth. His pupils gleamed with an eerie light and he shuddered. "Swallow it!"
He watched Luo Xianxian forcibly swallow the orang. She muffledly choked out "Dad". The young man was silent for a while, then he suddenly smiled.
That smile was more terrifying than his hideous face.
He stroked Luo Xianxian's hair with satisfaction, squatting in front of her, and said softly: "What are you calling your dad for? Shouldn't you be called out to me? Isn't the orange I gave you sweet? Was it delicious?"
With that, he picked up another one off the ground.
This time, he didn't stuff it in her mouth. He carefully peeled off the orange peel and cleaned off all the white piths attached to it. Then he wiped his hands, broke off a piece, and brought it to Luo Xianxian's lips. He whispered: "If you like it, eat some more."
Luo Xianxian knew that she had encountered a madman today. She had no choice but to lower her head and silently ate the orange that the madman handed her. The sweet and sour juice melted down her throat and her stomach churned. . .
The young man squatted there, feeding her slices of oranges. He seemed to feel better and even started to gently hum a song.
His voice was rough, very hoarse, like a broken gust of wind, vague and inaudible. Luo Xianxian could only make out a few words.
"Three or four flowers fall into the pool, the bell chimes once or twice on the shore. The best thing is to be young, a light-footed horse, you can see the end of the world. . ."
He suddenly said: "Girl."
". . ."
"Tsk." He curled his lips and reached for Luo Xianxian's slender face, "Let me look at your eyes."
Luo Xianxian shivered. She was powerless to resist. She could only let the young man inch forward, his bloody finger coming closer and closer to her eyes.
"This is how it is," he said.
Luo Xianxian whimpered and closed his eyes. She was really afraid that this madman would, on a whim, poke out her eyes like they were fruit.
But the young man didn't poke them.
The other coldly said to her: "Didn't you teach me the saying that wealth couldn't be lusted after and poverty couldn't be changed? I've also got something to tell you."
"Hmm. . ."
"Open your eyes."
Luo Xianxian's eyes were tightly closed. The young girl laughed in exasperation and hissed: "Don't be like that. Open your eyes!"
". . . Do you think I won't be able to gouge your eyes out if you have them closed?!"
Luo Xianxian forced her round eyes open, her slender eyelashes trembling, and tears streaming down her face which looked pitiful and fearful. She wasn't sure how to make this stranger happy. He suddenly let go of her cheek, his hand lingering in the air, and then gently patted her head.
He gazed into her eyes, and a trembling smile shook from the corner of his mouth. His smile was distorted, ferocious, and just a bit miserable.
He said: "There are men in Linyi. Twenty of them are dead."
After he spoke, he turned around and his figure sank into the darkness and gradually disappeared.
Only the mess on the ground was the only evidence that such a person, covered in blood in the middle of the night, had been here.
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