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#i used to be the one people go to for advice
csilla-nocturne · 1 day
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This is another older idea I love, that turned into more of a long summary.
Xie Lian and Hua Cheng have been happily married for a few decades at this point. One chilly afternoon as they are walking Xie Lian reaches for his husband's hand and notices it's already warm. Usually Hua Cheng has to use spiritual energy to warm himself, or Xie Lian's body heat will warm him. He asks Hua Cheng about it, and finds out Hua Cheng didn't even realize it was happening. Thinking back Xie Lian remembers several times over the past few months that this has happened. After discussing it they chalk it up to "frequent spiritual energy exchanging." and don't really think about it any more. It's a few weeks later Mu Qing and Feng Xin are visiting while Hualian are at Mount Taicang. The pair feel something is different about Hua Cheng, but they don't know what it is, and Xie Lian is suffering no ill effects so they don't comment.
Things continue on for a few more years, others noticing Hua Cheng almost seems more "alive" while Hua Cheng and Xie Lian mostly remain oblivious until someone points something out. They even develop that annoying couple thing where they seem to know what each other is thinking to the point of finishing each other's sentences at times. One thing they do notice immediately however is that if one is hurt the other is able to feel it. Putting things together they realize this is more than the side effects of make out sessions, ect.. Xie Lian goes to Ling Wen for help while he and Hua Cheng start doing their own research into what might be going on. Later that night they also find out the shared sensation thing also works for pleasure, and of course waste no time taking full advantage of that.
A few weeks later Hua Cheng is visiting He Xuan, purely to discuss his debt, totally not because they actually might kinda actually be friends. It's totally just business, and Hua Cheng is absolutely not giving He Xuan advice on how he can stealth help out Shi Qingxuan, and even if he just happens to do that it was Xie Lian's idea. Hua Cheng doesn't even think about the weirdness going on with him and Xie Lian until He Xuan irritated asks him why the hell he's wasting spiritual energy to fake a heartbeat he doesn't need. Hua Cheng is shocked by this, and admits he didn't even notice it was happening. He explains what's been going on with himself and Xie Lian.
He Xuan after listening says he may know what's happening, having stumbled on something while planing his revenge on Shi Wudu. He's not certain however, as what it sounds like is something he's only ever heard happening between two living people, never one who was living and one who was already dead. He explains a very difficult technique some cultivation partners try where they attempt to give one another parts of their own souls without damaging themselves, so that even if they die they are bound to the point that they will be able to find each other even if they reincarnate and have no memories of their past life. Basically they try to ensure they become soulmates. He Xuan tells him this is a very difficult and dangerous thing to attempt, and many have died, and ripped apart their own souls trying it.
He also says if this is indeed what has happened he's really not surprised that Hua Cheng, and Xie Lian have managed to do this on accident.
It also means that Hua Cheng's anchor to the world is no longer his ashes but Xie Lian himself, explaining why Hua cheng while still a ghost has been seeming less dead lately. The heartbeat he's feeling isn't one he made, but Xie Lian's coming through the bond they have.
Hua Cheng kinda short circuits from the info, and a very annoyed He Xuan contacts Xie Lian partly to explain his theory, but mostly to get Hua Cheng out of his house, because he's now ruining the gloomy vibe.
After taking a few days to digest this information, they decide to keep it quiet, except for the few they can't avoid telling like Feng Xin and Mu Qing who worried about Xie Lian demand to know what's going on. They don't want anyone getting any bright ideas about testing the theory, after all even if the ring is no longer Hua Cheng's anchor to the world it's still very precious to Xie Lian who doesn't want any thing to happen to it.
Is He Xuan right? Who knows. 😉
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mueritos · 6 hours
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trying to be more accepting of the likelihood I am autistic, I feel ive been having this constant back and forth conversation with myself for the past 2 years about it. "you can go to school, be a therapist for people, run errands, win awards, and somehow fit 2 jobs into all of that" and I use that as proof that I am NOT autistic...however, realizing i lose an entire weekend for a trip? distress. fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night and leaves me trembling, crying, and forced to recover? oh boy i wonder why that happened. feeling confused and like i'm constantly missing something when people express themselves in class or in the workplace? hm, it's almost as if I struggle to not take their language literally.
i don't think i've ever been allowed to be "disabled" by whatever neurodivergency and its symptomology, like, ever. god speed any other neurodivergent children of immigrants, but i don't feel allowed to let any cluster of disturbances or schedule changes or social conundrums disable me. I mean, they can affect me privately, where I am forced to stim and cry and process all on my own. But unfortunately i cannot look like the misshapen freak I feel I am, or well, as least not appear so in a socially unacceptable way.
it's funny i carry so much shame. i am unmasking in ways i never thought i could. i am allowing myself to take things literally with people, and I am allowing myself to ask more questions. "what did you mean by that?" "why did you use that word to describe that?" "can you rephrase that?" it's funnier that I am at such a queer and neurodiverse internship; nearly all of the other clinical staff have some sort of diagnosis (usually adhd/ocd/with flavors of trauma), and we all serve a population of the queerest and most neurodiverse students. i feel SO happy when I see a student and they refuse to make eye contact with me, because I take it as an invitation to NOT look them in the eye too! i tell students during our sessions feel free to stim, here's a weighted plushie you can hold, sit where you like, would you like to pace, should I dim the lights? it is even funnier that i am a neurodivergent clinician working with neurodivergent people, and half the time I dont even follow the same advice I give my clients!
i worry about what my life will look like when i've graduated. my master's will say, "hey, this guy is a clinical social worker and is now ready to be your therapist! or caseworker! whatever they have you people do nowadays!" and I don't think i feel ready to enter any workforce. how on earth will i manage my life and wellbeing doing this 40 hours a week? like wtf? ugh.
i dunno. these r just rambles and perhaps im just seeking some sort of comfort from other autistic people, especially because it feels like i have very few autistic people in my life. i know a lot of the validation i seek will be "resolved" if i seek out an official diagnosis, but I don't have time or $ for that. nor do I think I want one for a number of reasons. I should just continue working on my own self-esteem when it comes to most likely being autistic.
oh well
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aroghoststuff · 2 days
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I know you people are discussing the new episode of danganronpa despair time but, what if we talk about something more important?
THE DRDT CAST PLAYING DRESS TO IMPRESS
(You are wellcome to tell me more headcannon)
I was talking to a friend about all the stuff that happened in the last episode and idk how I finished the conversation talking about them playing DTI so I want to sharing my thoughs.
Also, sorry if any sentence doesn't have sense, english is not my first language.
First of all, Arei is a constant player, the only time she doesn't play is because she is banned temporality for get into fights with other kids. But she is very good at it, she have all of the clothes unlocked and the VIP pass.
Whit is another who has play many times, not as much as Arei but yes. He and Arei started to hang up in the computer room to play it cause of boredom and little by little they started to introduce the rest in the game. So finally all of them play it time to time to kill time.
The first who fall into it was Levi, he was interested due to his talent and he gives the rest advice often about how to combine and stuff.
J was the last one to start play since, in her words, "That is so f#cking girly F#CK NO". Now she plays it but she only use the man model.
Arturo always gives one star to everybody (except J) and complains because the game doesn't let you put less
Rose is the best at combine colors
Hu tells everyone to stop using the pose 28th because is "inappropriate"
Veronika is so in about the dress to impress lore and Lana, the lady of the nails. Also, none knows how she always manages to not go with the theme but make weird creatures. She overanalyze the other peoples outfits
Since Teruko and Nico in the reality want to wear more feminine clothes they enjoy putting cute things.
Seeing that Charles does not strive and usually is in the lower position Whit encourage him and tells him to do duos
Xander is trying his best
David looks like he is trying his best but he is not
Whit also has the VIP pass btw
Min doesn't admit it but she is starting to have fun. Ace too
Normally when they finish playing is due to they start fighting
Eden buy the Madoka dress. She loves Madoka and thinks her dress is cute.
Levi tries to help Ace but he always ends with a disaster of an outfit.
That is all i have for now. Maybe later I continue with this.
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youcouldmakealife · 3 days
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are there any unexpected challenges when moving between two such tonally different works as sait and cott at the same time?
Interestingly, it's sort of the opposite! I've learned that having a tonally serious series at the same time as a more lighthearted one is great because I can work on either depending on my mood and what headspace I'm willing and able to enter at the time.
The stories of the week and the month also help for that -- they're much easier to pop in and out of versus the series, which tend to involve longer writing sessions and a lot more 'editing as I go' than the stories of the week, which are done in short sessions or sometimes, if it's clicking well, in big chunks or even all at once (the dream).
But having two series that are so different kind of counters my excuses? 'Oh I'm not in a Holden headspace today, he's too up tempo and frenetic' can be countered, quite easily, with 'may I interest you in the saddest man in the world, then?'. It's actually nice with alternating POVs too, because, barring my not knowing what comes in the next part, the answer could also be 'how about some James, then?'.
So depending on how my writing's going, I could have just one upcoming part in the works or like, bits and pieces of five (especially toward the beginning or end of series; I probably have snippets from 5 or 6 upcoming parts of SAIT right now, because we've reached the final 15% or so), all because whatever my brain wants to write, that's what we're writing.
The result of that is that I'm now pretty consistently productive, when, if I force myself to focus on one thing, that could either go well, or it could mean I get fuck all done. (mostly the latter)
I've had some pretty major breakthroughs since I started doing this professionally, since 'don't feel like it' is all well and fine for your hobbies, which should be providing you joy, but not so much when it comes time to pay the bills. Part of it is treating it as work (not the 'ugh, work' part, though sometimes, unfortunately, that's true, even if it's your passion, but the 'I don't feel like doing <insert task>, but I've got to do it anyway to because it's my job' part of work.)
One of the biggest breakthroughs was ignoring 90% of writing advice (and productivity advice, and frankly, general advice) as not applicable to me, rather than thinking I'm a failure at following said advice (which so often is just people writing what works for them and acting like it's a universal tenet and not simply a process that works for them).
Knowing my brain is literally wired differently has been really helpful in accepting that, not blaming myself for it, and going to find the things that do work for me. And I've found a bunch! That I will get into later because I...have turned this into productive procrastination (one of my most commonly used strategies) and I should be writing at the moment.
But later! I'll post some things that work for me, and may or may not work for you, who knows, none of this is cut and dry, we're all making it up as we go, even (especially) the people who claim otherwise.
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here-to-suffer · 7 months
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uncanny-tranny · 7 months
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I've talked before about how the way people treat suicide can be unintentionally devastating to the suicidal person, but I don't think I really ever said how to avoid that.
Speaking about suicide in how selfish it "is" ("think about how you'll transfer your pain to your loved ones!") might seem like a way to put logical sense into the suicidal person, but, honestly? It runs the risk of massively increasing their shame and guilt about being suicidal. Suicide is not inherently a revenge fantasy or a way to "get back" at someone's loved ones, so when the suicidal person is treated like a criminal of a "crime" they haven't even committed yet, you can imagine how unhelpful that can become.
Instead, if you want to point out how cherished your person is, frame their relationships as something they can keep fostering.
"Your cat will miss you :(!!!!" becomes "you and your cat seem close, right? I'm sure it's beautiful having a close friend like that!" and maybe include ways that they and their cat are close and meaningful to each other, tailored to that relationship.
That's only one example, but when you shift the focus away from why that person should repent and feel guilty for being suicidal, you can instead focus on why they would live for that reason. See how you can frame that as a positive? Whatever is keeping that person tethered should never be used as a bludgeon, I think, because then you're taking away why they're living, the positivity of why they are here. Whatever they are here for should be remembered often and honoured.
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danwhobrowses · 11 months
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For anyone else who is gonna struggle surviving the next 3 weeks with the angsty and tense situation of Callowmoore here's a few things from the last 2 episodes that I feel were underrated and will assist in trying to keep me sane/emotionally stable: - Matching messed up hands built for holding - Fearne nervously playing with her hair as she approaches Ashton - Ashton wanted Fearne to be either the last thing they saw if they died or the first thing they saw when they succeeded - Fearne's admittance corroborates Ashley's 4SD revelation that Fearne is in love with someone in the party but doesn't know how to process the emotions - Fearne wanted Ashton to be happy, while Ashton wanted to feel whole so they would be worthy of the Hells - Ashton twice tried to lead a search for Fearne, and instantly clocking onto Chetney saying he followed Fearne - Fearne making herself look as radiant as possible before giving Ashton the cold shoulder - Ashton only rose to Chetney's provocations until he said 'You hurt Fearne' Use how you will
#godspeed my poor damaged psyche#critical role#bells hells#callowmoore#ashton greymoore#fearne calloway#fearne x ashton#ashton x fearne#strangely enough I don't enjoy having a dark and sad pit sitting in my chest day to day#3 weeks and we don't even get a cute M9 reunion in between to distract us? this was worse than Callowmoore's sistergate 3 week wait#also 'a little'? Sweetie people don't jump into lava for a little you got the big L and it's not Lesbian(s)#Feel like Laudna was a bit cruel this ep (Ash has been there for her a ton and she kinda villainized him) but we'll put it down to Delilah#much of Ashton's trauma has been overlooked or left to them to internalize but still nobody has told them that they are loved#and Ashton Greymoore needs to be told they're loved! (by Fearne)#but yeah time for more positive mental scenarios that 99% won't happen (but when that 1% does ho boy)#couldn't have just had Fearne go 'no talking' and sleep on Ash's chest to hear their heartbeat as her touch soothes Ash's pain could we?#or final fight scenarios where Ludinus is a walking harness and Ashton tricks them into absorbing their titan powers so he'd explode#they could've even had a talk in the woods because they wanted to find her so bad but was not gonna test Imogen's patience#I for one though will have at least one where Ashton seeks out Mori for advice (Fearne too but separately)#Tal I need you to use all your romantic arsenal in the feywild (Percy's worst travel experience) to win back Ashley's beautiful faun girl#bonus prompts for 'You will always be perfect to me' and 'Promise you'll come back to me' they pop up often in my scenarios#taliesin jaffe#ashley johnson
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i-really-like-phrogs · 3 months
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When someone else’s art is so good you physically can’t look at it because of artistic jealousy
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#Y’all do this to me on a daily basis I swear#I literally can’t follow some people because their stuff is so good it breaks my heart#I think the art world has a lot of envy and competitiveness that no one really talks about#Sure we’re all for self expression but so many of us are so used to being “the art kid” that anyone else taking or sharing that spot feels#like losing a peice of your identity.#I’ve had some artist friends who dealt with their jealousy by tearing others down or justifying their art by going#”Well you’re bad at ____ but I’m better at ____”#Or they would give unsolicited critique that was more like gently worded criticism than friendly advice to help someone reach their goals#And because of those experiences… I never want to become that person#I definitely get the surges of jealousy… But I very much try to remind myself that fellow artists are my friends-not my rivals#The people I feel the most envy for are often the people I hype up the most#And beyond that- nobody in the art community is trying to gatekeep information from you.#If you want to learn skills from other people- don’t hesitate to ask them. Most artists happily spill their brains for you in a conversatio#(Foolish artist… they don’t even know how many brain juices of theirs I’m absorbing-MWAHAHAHA)#(I’m gonna come come back stronger as an artist… And then I can learn and grow EVEN MORE BWAHAHAHA)#So anyway… Jealousy is a valid and very real thing… but what you choose to do about it can either hinder or help you.#That’s all folks#art meme#art
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YiZhan Parallels: This WYB // This XZ
Sharing parallels, coincidences, and vibes from my bsky account, because we need more love in this fandom and in the world in general.
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chirpsythismorning · 1 year
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bylers when over 350k people don’t have the exact same thoughts and opinions as them
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#byler#stranger things#byler tumblr#i know some of us have been singled out or humiliated by others on here insisting we’re delusional for our theories#and so you compensate by doubling down and telling everyone else their theories are actually headcanons and yours aren’t#or maybe you are someone on the other end who is fed up with bylers reaching and are sick of group think having a place here#some advice: just let the show be whatever YOU want it to be#if you think everything you analyzed is right and everyone else is wrong#congrats#you are as pathetic as the rest of the fans who think the exact opposite and also think they're right and you're wrong#we are one of over 350k ppl with differing opinions and thoughts and experiences guiding us to coming to the conclusions we do#i don't mind ppl giving different perspectives to things even if it goes against my analysis (just don't be an asshole about it)#i have changed my mind about certain aspects of the show bc of this and i have changed other peoples' minds as well#without all of us being able to say what we think we would not have near the evidence we do now#but what comes with over 350k people in one space also comes with some semblance majority that feels a certain way about certain things#it's never going to be perfectly even across the board#what is believed and what is agreed upon will always be shifting as different people say their peace and as the show itself progresses#and hell even if you're the 3% that feels a certain way about something and think the other 97% are setting themselves up for disappointmen#bask in your perceived glory WHEN that time comes#but in the mean time... me personally?#i think it would be quite embarrassing if i devoted my time on here to telling everyone else their theories are wrong and mine are right#only to end up being the one that was wrong#let ppl set themselves up for disappointment#save the celebration for when you actually secure that win#for now#id rather be on here discussing my theories/reading others' theories that aren't rooted in tearing everyone else's down to feel superior#all of this is to say it is never worth making ppl feel like shit over a fucking tv show… I’ll never get that#and this is coming from someone who has no (current) plans to say i told you so (not even to that redditor that has a 2 year timer)#bc until s5 comes out...#crazy together
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ruby-red-inky-blue · 6 months
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a couple of years back i was pretty vocal about not getting when people complained about their art not getting "enough" notes. but i'm getting to recognise a sub-category of that frustration these days that, in fairness, was maybe what people were talking about all along? but i've also seen other posts mention how fandom spaces feel changed since the last few years, so maybe it's a new thing or at least a thing that hadn't reached my fandom corner until now.
i truly don't mind if my writing doesn't garner a lot of attention (although i say this from a place of priviledge where my writing has so far always garnered some attention, and often a lot more than i anticipated). but what is really starting to grate a little is the amount of attention vs. the amount of reaction. For example, before the latest update on my big multichapter fic, it sat at ~ 33,050 hits. since then the fic has been clicked 400 times. the kudos count went up by maybe three and there were three new bookmarks - this isn't super surprising because i don't expect to be reaching a lot of new people with an unfinished 100+k word fic in a dwindling fandom, and if they're return readers they can't leave new kudos. but five people have commented on the fic since the update. One percent of readers who have clicked on this fic have reacted. Did all these people see it on the recently updated feed, started to read it, didn't vibe with it and moved on? That honestly wouldn't bother me. But it's been steadily gaining attention for the last few weeks, long after it moved off the first page of the recently updated view for the fandom. so rather, I think it's mostly subscribed users (the fic has a little over 400 active subscriptions so that would make sense) or people actively checking back on the fic. in which case they must be at least somewhat invested in it.
and again, i'm not owed any feedback. i put my work out for free and people decide what to do with that. but fandom is a collaborative space, and it's been feeling like less that for a while. people seem less ready for conversation, and i think that's sad, and quite demoralising for creatives (at least for me personally). fandom work isn't meant as bingeable content that you consume and then leave. if you do that on netflix, that's fine, because you're paying the platform and they're at least supposed to recompense the creatives who made the show you just watched. fandom artists don't get that. we make things for the love of it, and because we wanted to share that love. it doesn't feel like sharing though when you put something out there and nothing comes back. it feels like standing in an empty warehouse telling my stories to nobody. and, again, i'm personally lucky enough that it's not like that all the time, but i get why people stop doing it. and i get that engaging with art as an audience member doesn't come easy to everyone, but fandom culture needs it. it's supposed to be an exchange. it's supposed to go both ways, and i think if you want to sustain the culture, you simply need to try and give something back, whatever that is.
because putting something you made out there and nobody looks at it is definitely not a great feeling, but having anonymous masses file by and look at your thing and then meet you with deafening silence feels... worse.
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finniestoncrane · 1 year
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said to my counsellor that i wasnt built for friendship because everyone always eventually just. stops speaking to me and she went “ok why do you think that is?” and then when i finished my dumb sad list she went “ok so maybe you aren’t good at friendship” and i. have never regretted spending £50 more in my life lol
#A RANT IN THE TAGS MY GOD I DIDNT EVEN REALISE I AM WRITING THIS WARNING RETROSPECTIVELY#£50 to feel like never trying to speak to anyone again or forge any connections THANKS RUTH#Ruth remember when I said that every friendship I’ve had I’ve never truly known if it’s a friendship or if it’s one sided#remember when I told you that my friend groups always had people who had a favourite and I was never the favourite#remember when I told you that several friend groups have disbanded but not really they actually just made new spaces without me?#remember that? remember my trauma? remember?#because I DO!!!#I was not born to have friends I don’t think#I can’t even make friends with other autistic people or other weird people or other queer people#I don’t even think I could make friends with a clone of myself#this is so guy wrenchingly isolating lol#like girl what do you want from me? keep everyone at arms length like I used to?#try not to let myself get attached to people in case they decide they don’t want to be close to me anymore?#please it is not great advice Ruth#THE WORAT PART is that I literally was like ‘I don’t message too much because I’m overbearing’#and she asked where the proof was#and all I had was the complete dissolving of any relationship where I tried or tried too hard#so now I’m left in this confusing space of do I message too much or not enough because I have no happy medium#and she knows SHE KNOWS I also have energy issues and executive dysfunction stuff going on#and I know she is just trying to help and get me to think about this stuff#but it was just not the time lmao#finnie shouts into the void
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spanishinfluenza · 1 year
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Can you recommend some good twilight fanfiction?
Boy CAN I?!
So for some Carlesme goodness which is sorta my cuppa Lyon's tea, ive written a few which you can find on my ao3 account here. There will be more to come to which i always post here if you're ever curious.
Some other fics holding up this standom:
Ties of Trauma - the love of my life @youareonlyastory (au Carlesme fic with juice to make you squeal into a pillow. Check out all her works they're honestly golden)
For Appearance's Sake - @palmofafreezinghand (gorgeous canon fic, please check out of all of their oneshots they're to die for, one of my all time fave writers)
This New Life - @carllisle (another canon compliant Carlesme fic, but Ellie died and went to lotr heaven so dont go harrassing for more fics, or do idk she might love it. Specialises in well written Carlesme smut.)
Cullanos - more goodness by Ellie only this time it's au and it's unhinged and sexy as hell
@stregoni-benefici has some delectable Carlesme fanfic on their blog, feel free to check out her tags!
We've also got some cult classics like Stained Glass (canon fic) and it's companion pieces, as well as @fiddlesolo 's fanfic tag, full of Carlesme goodness and glorious oneshots.
As for non-Carlesme twilight fic, theres a plethora but i'm not as familiar. Honestly, @jessicanjpa or @panlight be better suited to give you honest recommendations for other pairings!
Hope this helped! :)
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thebirdandhersong · 1 year
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well mark that down as situation 2938489 that I don't know how to handle
#i would love advice on this if y'all have any thoughts to share because i know what my parents think and im having trouble sorting it out#i love these three friends of mine but it is really draining to be around them now because all they will talk about is church drama#(re: our old church) and rehashing it all and being Outraged about the horrors etc etc#either that or being downright condescending about protestants/non denominations and acting like it's funny to talk like that all the time#i end up being more angry or resentful or exasperated at the end of our conversations than glad and at peace like i did before#(before all THIS ish happened and the three of them were like okay this is all we're going to talk about now)#i've tried to say in gentle ways (i am simply not capable of this kind of blunt confrontation) that maybe we should not be talking#so uncharitably towards other people especially behind their backs. like. yes bad things happened. we have to acknowledge that.#but continually making jokes and jibes at a priest's expense really rubs me the wrong way especially since i KNOW that he loves us#and in many ways was trying his best in the circumstances. and are we not supposed to be loving our neighbour#and is this not downright slander to keep going on this way esp since it goes on for HOURS at a time#anyway i don't know what to DO because if i keep chatting with them/meeting up with them conversation will be 90% this thing and i Hate It#but on the other hand i feel responsibility towards them because my godson's one of them and another is a friend who is a fairly recent#convert and if i leave them to stew in their own echo chamber i doubt it'll do them good#am i supposed to keep some distance? am i supposed to keep arguing whenever one of them says something unkind or inflammatory?#am i supposed to keep speaking up so that they hear a different perspective? am i supposed to run in the other direction for my own peace o#mind? anyway i am still thinking this over and it stresses me OUT#it used to be fun and life giving to be around these people and now it is so exhausting and seriously alarming in many ways
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pastafossa · 1 year
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how long did it take for your fanfiction to start getting some recognition? did you "advertise" it or "promote" it in any way?
i know that people say this doesn't matter, but i feel like even if you love writing the feeling that you're just talking to yourself gets pretty exhausting at some point. so i'm not talking about having thousands of readers but rather like. what's your advice to have readers at least?
- someone who hasn't even started writing their ideas yet...
LONG POST INCOMING.
First I want you (and everyone else reading who may be struggling with this) to know I'm absolutely with you and generally think 'it doesn't matter' is a horseshit answer. It's this weird thing we do in fanfic that we generally don't apply to other artforms that I've seen. If you're a painter, a playwriter, a novel writer, and you say, 'I want at least a few people to love my paintings, I want some people to come see my play, I want my novel to be published and do at least ok' we all support them, we nod, we agree, we talk about how they can do that successfully. It's considered normal to want some amount of success. But hold up fanfic instead and it becomes, 'how dare you want that praise, you're being egotistical, you should be writing only for yourself'. I'm not saying you can't do that - there are some who do - but it's definitely this bizarre switchup to say there's this single artform in which we can't want attention on our work and that there's something wrong with us if we do. That can be an absolute creativity killer depending on what kind of writer you are (hi, extrovert writer here who only gets writy writy juice from social interaction - aka comments and discussion. So I totally get it being exhausting just doing this on your own).
So let me say this categorically: you're allowed to want things. You're allowed to want kudos, comments, and hits. You're allowed to want messages and asks. You're allowed to want some readers you can talk with about your story.
You. Are. Allowed.
Ok, now that that's out of the way.
Edit: more below the cut cause I didn't realize the length of this on mobile
TRT definitely didn't get popular overnight. The first four chapters were sporadic, and then I took a hiatus due to life things for a couple years. During that time, it kept slowly ticking up bit by bit on AO3, with occasional comments. Iirc it was hovering somewhere around 700 kudos by the time I came back in Jan 2021 - and that's a awesome! It's big! But it's also a number that was gained over a few years, to put it in perspective. It absolutely took off after I came back though, and over the past 2 years both TRT's popularity and the stats of my one-shots in the fandom have grown. Part of that's just the time frame (TRT's been up about 6 years), but it's also due to a couple things that I think built up TRT's popularity.
Building a tumblr presence was huge. Ironically I didn't really intend to do it for advertising; I just wanted a place readers could ask questions or we could all freak out about Matt or I could post some drabbles or updates on the fic. But considering the fact that AO3 and tumblr are the top fic sites online, I wound up promoting my fics unintentionally just by being a friendly, happy tumblr user and fandom goer. All I did was follow the courtesy rules I knew - post stuff regularly, reblog, comment, make friends with other writers, just be friendly in your neighborhood because you love the lady with the gif flower shop on the corner or the wise old pizza maker who serves hot fandom takes all day long. I built familiarity with my writing and name by posting short fics, and by taking part in challenges and prompt lists and short requests for drabbles if I saw them, though that's something that's hard to do if you don't have time (I've got less time now, but I started this blog in the early pandemic so I had aaaaall the time in the world to write and was using it to stay sane). I tagged religiously because I LOVE tags, but that helped, too. Tumblr's search system is half broken but the half that works means people CAN find your writing even if they aren't following. Doing all this over here got me a huge boost over on AO3.
I will say that if you can have a fandom tiktok presence, there's a lot of fic reviewers, edits, and good stuff that can get your fic some readers (I've had some people do this on tiktok for TRT and it sent a surge over). I personally haven't done anything there yet, in part because while I'm on tiktok I try to keep my actual, real person accounts separate from my fic/fandom accounts and i haven't bothered to make a second account solely dedicated to the Pasta name yet.
Longfics on AO3 have the advantage in fic stats in the sense that every time you add a chapter, it gets bumped to the top of the front page and you get seen again. Eventually a lot of people will click out of curiosity. They may not, however, give you a lot of user subs or add to your other fic stats at first, whereas if you do a bunch of oneshots you're more likely to get user subs but less hits on each fic. This is a decision you'll have to make, and I know folks in both camps who built their followings using different methods on each. Either way, it helps if you're posting regularly, either in a long fic or one-shots. I call this the Stephen King method, who said he just writes a ton and throws it all at the wall, and eventually you get enough good despite the bad that you start building a following.
Learn learn learn. This is standard fic advice I always give, but it's still relevant. I think one of the reasons imo TRT has done so well is that I've spent a lot of time over the years learning how to write and edit - I read a ton of books (sometimes just to figure out HOW good authors structure their stories), I took a lot of English classes, I've taken some creative writing courses in my spare time. That two year hiatus was heavily spent doing a lot of research and practice around an original novel I want published one day. And I used ALL of that in TRT, just to see what it was like to put it all together. Be hungry for knowledge, be hungry to learn. The more you learn, the better your fic will be, and the more people that will click.
That learning also includes a looooong string of fanfics that started at a very novice level (hello 12 year old me), to fics that were ok and did moderately well but weren't anything huge. Hell, I had a tumblr account for my previous fandoms before I wandered over to Pastafossa, and while those fics did decently, I never had the huge reaction I've gotten here. But I used each and every one of those fics to learn and grow and adapt. Treat your own fics the same way. If it doesn't get hits, try to learn from it before moving on to the next idea a little wiser and a slightly better writer than before. There will always be people who start to follow you along the way.
A small one, but important: I swear to god, do not shit-talk yourself. Not in the summary, not in the tags, not in the A/Ns. I'm not talking, 'this is my first fic!' That's fine. I mean trashing your own work. Shit like, 'ha ha this sucks, it's terrible but oh well' will absolutely lower your stats, because people will believe you and will ditch your fic. On top of that, it's just mean to yourself, and as I said above, you want to be a good person in the fandom neighborhood. That means not breaking the windows of your own house.
People generally think of summaries as a side note, but a shitty summary can absolutely tank your stats. Treat it like the rest of your fic - this is the trailer before the movie, and it's a huge element of what gets people interested in the first place.
Lastly, like I said at the top, the biggest factor is time. There are people who post one fic and explode in popularity, absolutely. But far, far more little followings are built on the bones of time, of abandoned fics, of muttering and highlighting phrases in books in the middle of the night, of trying and trying and trying until we have at last have a breakthrough and then drag that breakthrough forward with us to the next fic. TRT is absolutely one part lightning in a bottle - the biggest success I've ever had anywhere with my writing, a confluence of fandom factors and world events that gave people (and me!) time to write and read. But it's also standing on the back of whole lot of fics I wrote that look like everyone else's: ones with no comments, low interaction, insults; ones where I had precisely zero idea of what I was doing, but wanted to try anyway. And the way I got through that, as a writer who needs interaction in order to create, was by building friendships in fandom so that even when a fic didn't do all that well, I still had friends I could talk to about the characters, the world, the fandom itself. I asked friends to look them over and give advice. I had friends being my cheerleaders. And if you're an extrovert like me, or just a writer who needs that to create, then those connections are vital as you build up a following.
That's a lot of what I've done. I know there are other ways to build a following, but this is generally what I've done, what I've learned to do, and it seems to have worked. Just remember that there are no bad fics - just learning opportunities. Learn something, and that fic's a success, and work as hard as you can to make those fandom connections to carry you through the process.
I absolutely hope to see your work around one day, so that I can be on of those followers!
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Poins! Come get your boyfriend! I know you disappeared from the narrative, but he’s been traumatized by the death of his father and is now executing conspirators in the most terrifying way possible.
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