#all of this is to say it is never worth making ppl feel like shit over a fucking tv show… I’ll never get that

[kavehater]

Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭

[phagodyke]

sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(

[hecksupremechips]

People in the notes have said physical therapist Akihiko and ohohoho you fools you fucking clowns you don’t even know. Imagine Shinji getting out of the coma and all the rehabilitation shit he’s gotta do all the physical therapy like you just know Akihiko is so fucking over the moon he’s done so much research he’s so excited to see Shinji have a “training regime” he infodumps about what’s happening with the muscle recovery process and what stretches work best hes just way too invested he talks over doctors and Shinji is just like “good god if you know so much why don’t you just be a physical therapist” and Akihiko’s like 😈

Akihiko becoming a cop is something that simply doesn’t happen in the coma route cuz Shinji would see that shit and be like Aki what the actual hell is wrong with you

[waywardsalt]

so um. very glad that throughout all this time i never had the end poem spoiled to me

[cameronsprincess]

— summary: Rafe loves to make you cry and beg.

— warnings: smut! 18+ mentions of alcohol and cocaine, mean!rafe, dom!rafe, sub!reader, humiliation kink (maybe? idk he makes reader beg him to go fuck her in front of a shit ton of ppl), thigh riding (with ppl watching), fingering, fem receiving oral, edging, spanking, unprotected sex, degrading names (slut, whore), praise.

likes, comments n reblogs are appreciated.<3

❥ beg for it, princess — r.c

You had been very open with Rafe about the things you wanted him to do to you, with you. You’ve never hidden a kink from him, and he never hid any from you.

Rafe very quickly showed you just how willing he was to please you, he’d do absolutely anything to make his princess happy, and you would do anything for him, even if that meant letting him put you in the most painful situations, humiliate you, make you feel like a worthless slut.

For him, you’d gladly be his worthless slut, because at the end of the day, you knew he loved you. He’d do the most disgusting things to you, calling you the most degrading names while also praising you, telling you how fucking good you were doing for him.

And then, when he was done using you, he’d take care of you — Putting you in the bath and cleaning you, kissing the sides of you face and rubbing at your sore body, telling you how good you did for him. To you, it was all worth it.

You were his pathetic whore, but you were also his princess. And both were titles that you would gladly wear with a big fucking smile on your face.

-

You and Rafe are sat in the middle of a large, crowded room. His right arm is protectively wrapped around your waist, fingers digging into the exposed skin of your stomach, the thin crop top you’d chosen to wear tonight showing off just the right amount of your smooth skin.

Bringing your red solo cup to your lips, you take a small sip before resting your head on Rafe’s shoulder. He’s in the middle of a deal, a Kook by the name of Jaxon sat across from you and Rafe, trying to bargain with your boyfriend.

“C’mon man, just give it to me for $150. I promise, i’ll pay you back in two days” Jaxon says, his heavy eyes darting from Rafe’s ocean-blue ones and down to the cocaine on the table.

The corners of Rafe’s lips rise into a small amused smirk, and he rolls his head to the side, his pretty blue eyes finding yours. You lift your head to meet his intense stare, your lashes fluttering as you take another sip of your drink. “You know, Jax, i’m real into begging. Just ask Y/N. She’s always begging me to let her come, and that shits hot as fuck,” he pauses, making a tsking noise with his tongue and teeth, and your face all but turns a bright shade of red, head bowing as you bite at the rim of your cup, “But it’s just pathetic to see a grown ass man beg, especially when I know for a fact you can afford the asking price”

Jaxon’s eyes rise to look at you before they return to Rafe. He lets out a loud sigh, pulling his wallet from his back pocket and pulling out three crisp hundred dollar bills, slapping them to the table, “There. $300. Can I just have my shit now?”

Rafe smirks again, arching a brow before he releases a long breath. Rafe slowly grabs the money from the table, turning and shoving it into your black lace bra before he turns to face Jaxon again. “See, now was that so hard?” He chuckles when Jax rolls his eyes, then he moves and grabs one of the small tightly wrapped baggies, placing it between the tips of his index and middle fingers, hanging them toward Jaxon.

Jaxon yanks the small baggie from between his finger tips, letting out a huff as he moves to stand to his feet and storming away from the table. Once he’s gone, you turn and slap Rafe on the chest, a slightly annoyed and embarrassed look on your face. “Seriously? You had to drag me into that?”

Rafe laughs, turning his body to face you and wrapping his left hand around your body as well. You squeal when he uses both hands to pull you into his lap, forcing your legs to straddle either side of his hips. He leans forward, pressing his lips against yours in a heated kiss. He forces his tongue into your mouth, dominating yours instantly and making you moan into him.

Pulling away from your lips, you find yourself chasing his, an empty feeling washing over you from the loss of his lips. “You know it was funny, baby. Besides, my little slut loves to be humiliated”

You blush at the vulgar name he’s called you, but your pussy pulses, butterflies filling your stomach when you hear the name fall past his lips. As fucked up as it may sound, you did love when he humiliated you in front of people, you weren’t sure why, but it turned you on.

Rafe runs his hands down the small of your back, reaching your ass and tightly cupping it. Your hips buck forward and back arches when he begins softly massaging at the plump flesh of your ass. He slowly lifts your hips, placing you back down on his left thigh. He grabs your solo cup from your hand, downing what’s left in it and tossing it behind the two of you before his hands find your hips again.

His fingers find the waistband of your black denim shorts, shoving them down the front of them and running is fingers along the skin of your lower belly. A shiver runs through your body when you feel how close he gets to your panties and your legs tighten around his jeans-clad thigh. His eyes flick up to find yours, a smirk plastered on his lips when he sees how worked up he’s got you.

“Does my princess want to be fucked?” He asks, voice low and raspy as he pushes his fingers into the front of your lace panties.

Your breath hitches in your throat, and you open your mouth to speak but nothing except a soft, pathetic moan slips from your lips. Rafe removes his hand from inside your shorts, placing it back on your hips and pressing your pussy into his thigh, allowing your clit to gain the stimulation you were craving.

You begin whimpering as you rock your hips back and forth on his thigh, his hands gripping your hips and helping you move. “That’s it baby, ride my thigh. Let everyone see how fucking desperate you are for my cock”

Your heart begins pounding in your chest as you rub yourself against his thigh, the rough material of his jeans making your inner thigh tingle, the delicious pressure on your clit pulling moans from your mouth. You bury your face in the crook of his neck, licking and biting at his smooth skin as your hips continue to rock back and fourth, a pressure building inside of you, burning brightly and wanting to explode from you when the sounds of laughter fill your ears.

Panic washes over you when you lift your head and notice many sets of eyes on you and Rafe, peoples phones pulled out and pointed toward the two of you. For a moment, you’d forgotten that you weren’t alone, forgot you were in the middle of a large living room with all of your friends crowding it. You begin breathing heavily, tears stinging at your eyes as you hear the hushed whispers about you.

Rafe cups your face in his large hands, forcing your eyes on him as he whispers, “Fuck them” He pauses when you squeeze your eyes shut, letting the first few tears fall in embarrassment, but Rafe’s fingers squeezing your cheeks have you forcing them back open, “Hey, eyes on me baby. Let them know how badly you need to be fucked, beg me for it, and i’ll take you upstairs”

A whine falls from your forcefully parted lips, and you shake your head from side to side, wishing that the ground would just swallow you whole. You couldn’t deny it though, you were turned on. All of the eyes on you, even if they were judging you, it turned you on. You never understood why you loved the humiliation Rafe gave you, you should feel ashamed, you should hate him for putting you in positions like this, but you don’t. Instead, your pussy throbs with need, wanting to feel his cock buried inside you.

“Come on, baby girl. I know you want to. Beg me to fuck you, let them all hear how much of a needy whore you are for me”

He releases your face from his hands, allowing you to throw your head forward and into his neck. His hand slaps across your ass, making you cry out from the sting it left, and you finally lift your head, pleading eyes on his. “Please? Please Rafe, I need you to fuck me. Want to be your needy whore”

Rafe softly kisses the corner of your mouth, his eyes darting around the room at all of the eyes trained on you and him. His hands tightly grip at the bottom of your thighs, lifting you with him as he stands from the couch and whispering, “Such a good fucking girl. Gotta let everyone know who the fuck you’re a needy little slut for”

He carries you up a staircase and pushes into an empty bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him with his foot. He turns, slamming your back against the closed door, pinning you in place before his lips smash into yours. You open up for him, allowing him to deepen the kiss and force his tongue into your mouth. You moan into his mouth, rolling your hips against his waist, trying to relieve some of the pressure you felt between your legs.

Rafe breaks the kiss, but his lips still hover over yours. “Beg for it baby. Beg me to fuck you”

“Please..?” You whimper, the pressure between your legs growing. You were soaked. Pussy pulsing. You needed him, but you knew he wasn’t going to give you what you wanted unless you earned it. And the only way you’d earn it, was by being pathetic and begging him.

He chuckles, his darkened over eyes finding yours. “Please what, princess? Tell me what you need”

“Please fuck me. Need your tongue, your fingers, your cock. Please…? I’ll be a good girl, just want to come.. Please, Rafe?”

Tears begin to fill your eyes. You felt pathetic. Begging to be fucked. But you didn’t care, no. No you needed him, he was like a fucking drug that you couldn’t get enough of.

He walks you over to the large bed that’s in the room, sitting you on your ass at the edge and dropping to his knees. “God I love how fucking needy and pathetic you are f’me baby” He says as his fingers pop the button of your shorts. Your breath catches in your throat when he pulls the zipper down, his fingers dropping and running across the skin of your inner thighs.

“Rafe…”

He dips his head down, his lips leaving hot, open mouthed kisses on your inner thighs. You squirm, bringing your hands to the waistband of your shorts and pushing them down. His eyes find yours, amusement in his eyes. He swats your hands away, using his own to pull your shorts down your legs and tossing them behind him onto the floor.

His eyes land on your pink lace thong, his tongue darting out to lick across his bottom lip. “You’re soaked, princess” he coos. Your face turns a bright shade of red and you quickly bring your hands up, burying your face into them.

Rafe makes a tsking noise as he runs his tongue across his top teeth. His large hands come up to your small wrists, gripping at them softly and peeling them from your face. He brings them down to your sides before releasing them. His head dips down to your inner thighs, leaving another searing kiss to the skin. His hands grip at your thighs, pulling you further down the mattress and placing your shaking legs over his shoulders, pushing your panties to the side in the process. You suck in a sharp breath when you feel his lips trailing kisses from the inside of your thighs and to your pelvic bone.

“R-Rafe… Please?”

He smirks against your skin, letting out an airy laugh as his darkened over blue eyes find yours. “Please what? Gotta let me know what you want baby…” He says, trailing his words off as he leaves another kiss on the top of your pussy, his mouth inching closer to where you need him most.

“Your mouth. Your cock. I need you, Rafe. Please” You cry out. His teeth sink into the skin of your inner thigh, making you cry out in pain and pleasure as he sucks a deep purple bruise into the flesh.

He releases your flesh from his lips, licking the fresh, new bruise before he begins working his way up your thighs and to your aching cunt. He places a soft kiss on your weeping core. You suck in a shaky breath when his tongue finally licks through your folds. He licks from the bottom up to your clit, flicking his tongue over the swollen and sensitive bud. His tongue begins to slowly lick up and down your soaked core, over and over again, pulling the most pathetic but sweet whines from you.

Your fingers fly into his hair, tugging softly at the messy locks as you tighten your thighs around his head, locking him in place. His tongue doesn’t let up, he laps up your juices like a starved man as you continue to cry out his name, waves of pleasure rushing through your entire body. He takes his right hand and pushes your leg down onto the bed, his grip bruising. He runs his tongue up and through your folds again, reaching your clit and sucking the bundle of nerves into his mouth.

Moving his left hand from your leg, he snakes it between the two of you, running his thick fingers through your soaked folds before plunging his index and middle fingers inside of you. He curls them slightly, softly caressing that sweet spot inside of you that has your toes curling and tears falling past your bottom lashes. He creates a quick pace with his fingers, his mouth unrelenting as he continues to suck on your clit. You feel the fire burning inside of you, your release building and threatening to burst.

Your pussy clamps down around Rafe’s fingers, letting him know you’re close to the edge. He slows his fingers, stilling them inside of you and releases your clit from his lips with a pop, making you let out a frustrated whine. “Why’d you stop?!” You ask breathlessly, your head lifted just enough to find him staring up at you from between your legs. He has an amused smirk on his lips, his face and chin glistening with your arousal.

“Because, you’re gonna be a good girl and cum all over my cock”

You throw your head back in a huff, crossing your arms over your chest and pouting like a child whose parent told them they couldn’t get a treat at the grocery store. Rafe rises from his knees, his tall frame towering over you on the bed. He brings his right hand to caress your cheek before he slowly runs it down to your throat, his fingers wrapping around it and squeezing tightly, but not enough to take away your air. “Don’t be a fucking brat, or else you won’t cum tonight. Alright?”

You nod your head the best you can, tears spilling from your eyes from the ache you felt between your thighs and the pressure from Rafe’s hand around your throat.

He releases your neck and his hands fly to pop the button of his jeans before moving on to slide his zipper down. You watch him intently as he shoves the rough material down his legs, kicking them off to the side before he grips the hem of his baby blue polo and rips it up and over his head. Your mouth pools with saliva, the sight of Rafe’s shirtless body making you physically drool all over yourself.

He climbs on top of you, his left hand baring his weight while his right hand shoves his boxers down his legs. He grips the base of his cock in his right hand, stroking at it a few times before he slides his swollen head through your folds. You squirm underneath him, hips bucking forward as you silently pleaded with him to fuck you.

You open your mouth to beg some more, but your words die on your tongue, a loud gasp falling past your lips as he shoves himself inside you without warning. He slowly pulls himself out before harshly slamming back inside you, his pink tip kissing at that spot inside you that has you seeing stars. He watches intently as he pushes and pulls his cock from inside you, his bottom lip sucked between his teeth. “You’ve already got a mess all over my cock baby girl. Fucking beautiful” He breathes out as he harshly slams his hips into yours again.

He pulls himself from inside you, his arms wrapping around your waist and flipping you onto your stomach has you squealing loudly. “On your hands and knees baby. Bring your knees to your chest, ass up in the air f’me”

You quickly do as he says, positioning yourself on all fours and tucking your knees up under your chest. A loud moan slips past your lips when Rafe’s hand slaps at your ass, the sting it left behind causing more tears to spill from your eyes. A dark chuckle emits from Rafe’s chest, “My girl loves when i’m rough with her, yeah?” Another slap. “I love making you cry” Another slap. “The sound makes my cock throb”

Tears stream uncontrollably down your face as Rafe continues to slap your ass, the sting bringing you an overwhelming amount of pain and pleasure. “Rafe, plea— Ah!”

Rafe shoves his cock inside you again, making your pleas die on your tongue. You fist the sheets beneath you, eyes rolling into the back of your head as Rafe pounds himself into you at a ruthless pace.

Your pussy clamps down around him, sucking him in deeper. Your loud cries bounce off the walls, and you’re sure the entire party can hear you, but you don’t care. It feels too fucking good to care. The pressure in your lower belly begins to build, a bright white light burns in the back of your eyes.

“You’re so close baby. You’re fuckin’ squeezin’ me so tight. Milk my fucking cock dry baby” Rafe rasps.

A string of curses and moans slip past your lips as your pussy clenches around him, the pressure building up and bursting free. Euphoria racks your body, your legs shaking and toes curling as you come undone around Rafe’s cock.

Rafe growls, leaning his body forward so his lips are brushing against the shell of your ear. “Such a good fucking girl, ‘m right behind- fuck!”

He slams into you one final time, his dick twitching as he fills your pussy with his cum. His teeth sink into your shoulder, pulling back he kisses the bite mark and whispers, “Did so fucking good f’me baby. Let’s get you home and cleaned up”

RAFE TAGLIST: @targaryenbarbie @thelomlisrafecameron @rafegirly @f4ll-for-you @drewstarkeyslut @dilvcv @thewitchesofart @rafesgfxo @unsaidjaelinrose @abbybarnesstuff @itsmytimetoodream @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @r1vrsefx @yourfavborderhopper @moremaybank @rafetopia @rafemotherfuckingcameron @jade-is-jaded @lexasaurs634 @lyndys @presleyanswrites @carma-fanficaddict @rafescokenostril @madzzz0797 @slytherhoes @jscameron @jjsmarijuana @ijustwanttoreadlols @luversgirl @sugarcoatedstarkey @skyesthebomb @nirvanaissogood @stvrkey @vhour @emma77645 @rafeinterlude @superlegend216 @mannstarkey @spideysimpossiblegirl @redhead1180 @crgirlsworld @atorturedpoetx @carolinaxvz @maybankslover @cantstoptherecs @pradabambie @slut4ani @kamninaries @biggesthat3r @wearemadeofstardust

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[somewhereincairparavel]

Literally where do people get the idea that Jason was full of himself and that he thought he was better than Percy? This is legit brought up in so many 'why-i-hate-jason-grace" arguments it just screams lack of reading comprehension and obvious Percy bias saltiness. Like just say you are bitter that Jason is written as percy's equal and that you want Percy to have nobody rival him 💀

Never once in his povs did he ever think about how much better he was, on the contrary it's just him not feeling good enough about himself. He and Percy NEVER said anything bad about eachother.

His and Percy's rival is just a joke between two powerful demigods who have rival dads, that's literally it. Even if Jason did indeed think he's better, so what about it? What's the big deal?

he has worked hard and accomplished great things, so he has like, every right to be confident in his power, stop acting like hes all weak and inferior when he canonically killed a titan with like his bare fucking hands till the point Krios swore vengeance on him. No he's not "weak" or morally inferior to Percy as a person. You are merely trying to cope. Not to mention the way people judge a character's worth SOLEY based on their abilities is a huge red flag in itself, but that's a discussion for another time.

he shouldve canonically had more achievments and power than he originally got in the books as a son of jupiter. but rick made Percy too OP and fumbled jason for the sake of keeping percy's spotlight intact. Has it ever dawned on people that Percy is shown to have cool abilities like bending tears but Jason is never shown to have abilities like controlling lungs? Yeah, that's authors privilege for ya.

Y'all put Percy in an obnoxiously high pedestal and that's not a good thing. It diminishes his flaws and makes him appear so saint like and Gary Stu even though he's not. the fact that ppl get so sensitive over their rivalry and try to belittle jason by making up scenarios (like claiming jason thinks he's superior and shit) and go around saying that to ppl to reduce his value DESPITE being well aware that he has like enough hate already, is so insanely petty. BOTH Jason and Percy deserve equal amounts of respect.

God forbid a teenage boy say he's better than the other as a joke, he's such a terrible, stuck up, and shitty person who deserved death for that, isn't he?

[nightcolorz]

Armand could definitely 100% have prevented Claudia and Madeline’s death like obviously he is so full of shit 😭😭 he just chose not to. I dont think he was lying about being held captive, though. It seems more likely to me that he allowed himself to be imprisoned bcus the ultimate outcome would be desirable, rather then like, he was secretly orchestrating it all like a devious Master mind and was only pretending to be a prisoner to trick Louis. I think Armand was genuinely being imprisoned, but he could have easily escaped (as if the vampire Armand couldn’t win in a fight against Sam The Twink), and chose not to because it’s in his best interest for Claudia and Madeline to die 😭. While part of his betrayal I think comes from a comfort Armand takes in learned helplessness, where taking action feels less safe then leaning into victimhood, so armand chooses to accept helplessness rather then play the hero bcus helplessness is comforting, it was also definitely part “I want these two people to be gone from my life and this seems like a sure fire way to let it happen while I get to remain mostly blameless” 😭. Armand finds Claudia’s whole existence horrific and cruel. I don’t think he particularly likes or dislikes her as a person, he doesn’t seem to know her very well nor care to know her (he actually says this in tva lol), so I don’t think he considered letting her a die an act of spite.

Armand thought of Claudia as a suffering, rabid, sick and diseased animal that needed to be put down for its own well being. He considered her death an inevitable tragedy that “could not be prevented”, and bcus of his perspective on vampirism as a horrible curse that can only be spared through very specific very calculated and clean cut means, he wanted her death to come as quick and painlessly as possible. From Armand’s perspective, if he saved Claudia from death by execution, he’d only end up watching her excruciatingly loose her mind and self until she eventually killed herself or got put down by Armand or someone else Nicki style so that she wouldnt need to live in agony anymore.

Which, his whole perspective there is flawed, and fucked up, and dehumanizing of Claudia, but it makes sense why he would think that way. Armand considers vampirism to be always bad, regardless of the subject turned, and always smth he would hate to inflict on someone. So claudias turning, is not only cruel to Armand, but unforgivable and unsalvageable. He’s seen a lot of fucked up vampires in his time, a lot of botched turnings, and he knows from his experience how much of a toll vampirism takes on anyone, let alone someone in the body of a child. His whole “I will never turn someone into a vampire ever in my life” thing comes from this. So, of course he won’t save claudia from such a clean cut, blameless death 😭. He considers it an act of mercy, when he pictures the alternative as “Claudia clings to Madeline as she painfully looses her mind and eventually dies”. Which, comes into why he didn’t save Madeline either lol

Armand doesn’t particularly value life as smth to be worth preserving, he is very willing to view other ppl as commodities when it helps him. But he does value preserving peace and limiting other’s suffering (which is why he kills so gently). Armand is so horrified by Madeline being turned, partly bcus I think he saw himself in her. He sees a fledgling who he believes will inevitably loose her maker, the only person she rlly cares about, to horrible gruesome death, and he knows that once she experiences that her life as an immortal will be cruel and unbearable. So once she is turned, Armand sees another lost cause who will be better off if she is killed before it can get bad. What Armand misses when it comes to Claudia and Madeline, obviously, is that they r more resilient and self sufficient then he sees, and taking away their agency by deciding they have no hope and must die isn’t the mercy he sees it as but is actually like, fucked up and horrible. Armand is so blinded by his trauma fueled dog eat dog view of life as a vampire that he can’t see that.

I think the reason armand considers the perks of Claudia and Madeline’s death a priority over Louis’s happiness (and horrible grief that will ensue when his loved ones die), is bcus Armand considers Claudia and Madeline’s death an inevitable consequence of Louis’s unforgivably cruel actions. He doesn’t resent Louis for it I don’t think, but he definitely thinks that Louis will need to atone for what he’s done whether Armand wants him to or not. So, Armand is ok with Louis grieving (as long as it doesn’t turn to resentment of Armand), bcus it was ultimately inevitable, and comparatively less cruel then what he would have to witness alternatively. It’s a rip the Band aid off type of thing 😭😭

in conclusion uh Armand is bad but Armand has his reasons and Armand isn’t one dimensionally villainous, he has a ton of complex trauma induced reasons for the way he thinks, and his actions r more often then not coming from a warped view of “the kind thing to do” that comes from his lack of understanding of how kind the world actually is and can be (dog eat dog mindest etc), bcus of how horribly traumatized he is. thank u good night

[conanssummerchild]

lukewarm takes with conanssummerchild time ‼️

in solaricks when rick goes back to dimension C-137 he seems just about ready to start at least trying to move on from hunting prime, he admits that he can't find him and even goes on to tell "diane" about their grandkids

yet this is him less than a season later

so, what changed?

well, this, obviously:

not to mention how traumatic that episode must've been for rick in general, having to revisit his past like that, the diane ghost ai. well, rick makes it pretty clear he's not exactly thrilled to be alive

so think it's pretty safe to assume that this was the first step to the rick prime relapse, especially since we know he went back and managed to snag a killbot

one could also argue that rick wasn't ever really over it, so it took very little to push him back, and while i don't think he was over it either, he did seem to start to want to be, morty saying this:

was all it took for him to step away from the base, though it's likely he returned in another moment, but still, that could've been later on

okay, anyway, into the actual point of this post, i think rick took small steps into falling back into finding prime, because even when he seemed to want to be bettering himself things kept going wrong, so eventually he decided, what was the point?

this is how i see it:

obviously preceding solaricks we have rickternal friendshine of the spotless mort, which i'm not gonna go into too much detail on rn despite it being one of my fav lore episodes bcs i wanna look at post-solaricks (but for pre-solaricks rickmurai jack is also worth mentioning due to him having to revisit his backstory with the citadel which is very closely linked to his time looking for prime/killing ricks) but go ahead and check out this post by dirty-bear-rick-sanchez for the best explanation i've seen on it and its effect on rick

anyway, so just 2 episodes after solaricks we have bethic twinstinct, and i've gone into this in a past post how this might have taken him back to his past so i'm just gonna copy paste it from my other post (summarised) bcs im lazy:

a lot of ppl theorise rick and prime knew eachother before he offered him the portal gun so if thats true what if beth and space beth reminded him of them and how he was (hypothetically) cheating on diane and then lost her forever at the hands of the man he was having an affair with and also lost his beth

which is why rick said "remember, its not just your ice cream you're forgetting, it's your family's" or smth. because he forgot his familys ice cream too much, and all that happened

also look at all the similarities between prime and SB's outfits

then 5 episodes after that we have analyse piss, where we see that rick relates to pissmaster, sympathises with him

i will never not reccomend this fic by abed-with-a-knife about how rick was taken back to his own struggles with suicide and such, but it's not only that, so many features of pissmaster's experience are things rick can relate to, his rocky relationship with his daughter, everyone hating him, i think in general it's pretty clear that this episode was made to link rick and pissmaster

anyway, the next episode after analyse piss is immediately a rick in king mortur's mort, and this is quite clearly rick's breaking point, obviously we know this is when he replaces himself with rickbot, following this scene:

rick tells morty not to take the sword and morty doesn't listen

morty says rick's boring and calls him a "drunk cranky fuck" which does seem to bother rick

despite him shitting on a similar insult in the previous episode

in ricktional mortpoons rickmas mortcation, the following episode, he says the reason he replaced himself was because of this, because he feels like morty doesn't respect him any more, and that:

so first the show wears away at his friendships and his past trauma and self hatred with rfotsm, rickmurai jack goes even further into his past, his relation with the citadel, his "crybaby backstory", etc.

then solaricks forces him to confront his past, specifically his relationship with diane and accept his future and his new family, while giving him a small clue to prime.

then bethic twinstinct, provided he and prime really did know eachother previously (which im a little on the fence on if i'm honest), reminds him of his guilt for diane and little beth dying and how he feels responsible for it by mirroring the situation with older beth and the "edgier" version of herself. after that, analyse piss continues to dig into his current relationship with a beth that isn't his own, and takes a shot at his suicidal tendancies and how he feels like "god hates him" or the universe is against him or whatever.

and lastly akikmm takes all of that that rick is already carrying on his shoulders and adds morty not respecting him or caring about him to it, and it clearly cause rick to finally snap. if all of this was building and the only thing keeping rick afloat was his codependant relationship with morty (as seen in solaricks when morty gets him to not go after prime just by showing his care) then morty (by no fault of his own) seeming to dismiss rick must make him think "what's the point anymore?" if no one cares about him, then he might as well complete his life-long revenge plot, even if it destroys him again

because no one cares about him, right? (dramatic old fuck, get him psycological help)

anyway it's almost 2am so my thoughts aren't as coherent as i would like and i'm too lazy to read over this post and check if everything is right and good

most of what i've said in this post is probably pretty obvious, i just wanted to lay it out neatly with images and everything (im so classy ik /j) it accidentally came out a LOT longer than i intended. what can i say i just love yapping on about rnm

[angellurgy2]

Something I noticed is that you respond to well wishes with something like "if I deserved nice things then these bad things wouldn't be happening to me" but I often see incredibly bad things happen to good people all the time. Very frequently I see nice people treated like shit and institutions fail to protect the most vulnerable. In fact, this is often a recurring trend. The idea that what is happening to you right now and people treating you badly is reflection on you is something that people often feel in the moment, but is often not the case. People very rarely aren't treated the way they're deserved to be treated and I wonder if you would apply this logic to a stranger: have you never seen someone be mean to someone else? Have you never heard a news story where whatever happened wasn't the victim's fault? Have you never seen or heard of someone being bullied?

Often we can admit that strangers do experience these things, that other people with a lack of support don't deserve the shit they go through, but we don't extend this kindness to ourselves. Why?

I think it can feel hard to be gentle with yourself because if what's happening isn't a reflection on you, then how can you control it? But the truth is, sometimes people are unlucky or misunderstood or don't have the support they need and it sucks. But you never get a chance to be understood and gain more luck if you're not here to try again. There is nothing intrinsic to you that makes you worth less than anyone else--you deserve to get the chance to experience gentleness and I hope you can spare some for yourself. I know this might seem random, but I hope you can have hope? At the very least, whatever happens, I hope you don't end up thinking that this is happening because you deserve it, because I don't think this is your fault

i guess you're right, yeah. i kind of know its just depressed speak but when all i get from almost everyone is telling me the same or doing bad things to me idk why react in any other way. being angry is so tiring. i just wanted some affection before the end bc deep down i know i deserve it and i know i was failed. but everytime i say it someone whos sposed to be one of my own comes in to tell me im evil for saying so. even if im not intrinsically bad there is smth about me that makes most ppl not relate or feel anything for me, and that im not quite able to fix bc its of biological nature. idk. ty

[so-many-sainz]

we broke up btw — pierre gasly

social media au

pierra gasly x ex!yn

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀

yninstagram added to their story

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Liked by pierregasly and 20.432 others

yninstagram getting my shit together is soo fun 🤥😮‍💨

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ynsbestfriend bestie i'm visiting

teamgasly10 you look so good🤩🤩🤩

fuckthew so he really kicked ur ass out 😂😂😂

yninstagram do you realize that hating on ppl you don't even know and vice versa is really pathetic?

12.356 likes

f1gossip Looks like the rumors are true. Do you think that YN cheated on Pierre with Lando?

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teamgasly10 omg you guys are ridiculous, she has been friends with Lando long before she started dating pierre

yukierrelovey ugly ass whore

adoringlando THEY. ARE. FRIENDS

pierresan god she loves the clout that the f1 world brings, she's desperate and it shows

pierregasly please stop the harassment, the comments in this post are so hurtful, really disappointing

Liked by yukitsunoda0511 and 256.830 others

pierregasly hello everyone, hope you're having a nice week!

Just wanted to share how awful these past few days have been.

as y'all might know, yn and i broke up.

The whole process has been very difficult for me, mainly because she's someone i love dearly, but the most horrible part of this has been reading all the speculation and the harassment that yn received.

The F1 lifestyle has a lot of pros, but all the bullshit that our loved ones have to face is horrid. At some point, it makes you wonder if it is worth it. I thougt that sharing my feelings might help bullies realize that they're hurting real human beings with feelings.

With this i hope you all end the harassment and the spiteful comments that my yn is reciving, it's not fun and it hurts a lot.

Love, Pierre.

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charles_leclerc very wise words, my friend. Love you both so much @yninstagram ❤️🙏🏻

lilymhe so true, it's heart wrenching

yninstagram thank you, P. It means a lot.

pierregasly better late than never 💙

Liked by pierregasly and 35.973 others

yninstagram diet mountain dew, baby ny cityyyyy ♥♥♥

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ynsbestfriend nevER WAS THERE EVER A GIRL SO PRETTY

yninstagram DO YOU THINK WE'LL BE IN LOVE FOREVER?

ynsbestfriend yess lana is always there for our sad bitch era

teamgasly10 omg pierre's like 😫😫💔💔💔

fan3423 (ready for another lie? SAYS HE'S GONNA TEACH ME JUST WHAT FAST IS) omg they're throwing signals at each other it's crazy

Liked by pierregasly and 1.852 others

f1wagculture yn's posts lately.... i guess i see where you are coming from @pierregasly

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fan232 OMG HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE ABOUT HIS PRIDE AT THIS POINT

teamgasly10 @pierregasly STOP THIS MADNESS

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i really want them back together 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️

PART II

Alternative end - she ends up with Lando.

[phagodyke]

oh wow just saw flatmate messaged saying another friend passed smth on like oh okay. I didn't realise he went too u didn't say. in fact none of u said anything to me so that's great

[nicki0kaye]

random Kallus hc inspired by someone else's post #2

man he's gotta hate that he lost his bo-rifle to fucking Thrawn

like so the moral of the Honorable Ones to me was Kallus realizing he has nothing of value in his life--he has TWO personal items to his name; this fuckin glow rock and his bo-rifle which he has just learned is his by right. Regardless of what he did to Lasan, regardless of all the awful reasons he should never be accepted by any of his enemies, that fucking bo-rifle is his and no Honor Guard of Lasan can argue otherwise. There are a lot of reasons he turns on the Empire, but this is where it starts. The realization his life is so small and so empty, and he just limped back to it. Why? Why is this life worth living? And with more research, it stops being a selfish desire to ditch and becomes an informed hatred of the Empire, BUT

lets go back to that kernel of rebellion. Kallus' life is small and empty. He's got a Rock and Bo-Rifle. That's all that defines him outside his identity as a ISB officer.

He just acquired the Rock. He's been living with bo-rifle as his single defining trait for maybe a decade at this point. It's an extension of his beef with Lasat in general, which started on Onderon when one blew up his first Big Boy Mission. It makes sense he'd fixate on such a traumatic event but it's not JUST that. You don't get to have personal hobbies or a sense of fashion or really any kind of identity within the Empire outside who you personally want to fuck up. Kallus chose the Lasat and got fucking spiteful about it, which led him to the Siege of Lasan, where he won his bo-rifle.

but like, it's more than that. It isn't just hatred--if it were, I don't think Zeb would have gotten to him. I think that Kallus has had a buried respect for the Lasat for a long time, if only because of how much time and effort it took to win and then become proficient with the bo-rifle. Then there's the layer of it being the only true outlet for identity he's allowed. THEN there's the fact the bo-rifles are a Force weapon. They've got kyber crystals inside them. And I personally subscribe to the idea that everyone can sense the Force, thus be guided by the Force, it's just that not everyone can recognize what is intuition/one's own emotions and what is the Force, nevermind having an ability to influence other shit with the Force.

What I'm trying to say is I wanna believe Kallus bonded with his bo-rifle in a cosmic way. He is the Warrior, hunting the future; the Force always had plans for his ass and saw that a Force-conductive weapon made its way into his hands, that he then spent years becoming deadly with. That fucking weapon is connected to his soul.

and he lost it to Thrawn.

Thrawn didn't beat him in a fight while Kallus was armed with his bo-rifle, but he super beat his ass in a fight. Even if Kallus could argue he didn't earn the bo-rifle, Kallus couldn't retrieve it before having to gtfo. It's still somewhere on Thrawn's stupid ship--my assumption is that Thrawn goes and adds it to his collection of stolen artwork.

Regardless, Kallus doesn't have it anymore. This thing he poured what little identity he was allowed to maintain, years of hard work and practice and countless battles where he relied on it to keep him alive as his primary weapon, nevermind a Force connection, anyone would become attached to a weapon after years of service. This reminder of Lasan, this piece of history, its fucking gone now.

I don't think he'd think he's allowed to mourn that, considering all he's done, but you can't logic away your feelings, and now he's with a group of ppl who actively find that kind of coping pretty fucking unhealthy. At some point he's gonna have to process what that weapon meant to him and its not gonna be pretty.

imo, he gets a tat of it on the forearm of his dominant hand. He'd think about it for a long time but only go through with it after finally discussing all his mixed up feelings with Zeb, who would super approve of him paying his respects to a sacred fuckin weapon this way. It was his, by right, by soul, by will of the Ashla.

[mrgladstonegander]

MORE BOOTLEG DUCKTALES ‼️team science (oops! all identity issues!) edition

team magic here

archimedes gallas / gyro = more like other versions where he's nice but this man is carrying SOOOO much guilt. insane amounts. his entire character is focused on how much his self-worth is down the drain (also hes being haunted by the narrative (phoebe/della)). also he's half japanese. based off the onagadori

cherry pekin / huey = has a similar problem to archie where she has overwhelming feelings of needing to seem mature, and responsible, where she overworks herself

sydney eggtooth-diazi / fenton = REALLYY wants to seem like a Professional Normal Dude. repressing EVERY urge to wear silly ties. sees morality in a black and white sort of way and it WILL cause problems later. he puts archie on a pedestal and its super obvious and it just makes archie more mentally ill

salem milly / gandra = planning to really lean into how she joined fowl bc they were the only ones that supported her. mainly the contrast with how the Main Family supports each other with unconditional love, the love she has is purely conditional, and she's constantly convincing herself that she Wants to do bad things, and that she doesnt care about these people, because despite how she says she only listens to herself, shes stuck to FOUL, and thats her 'family'. based on mille fleur d'uccle

frankie loon / fethry = IT IS PART OF TEAM SCIENCE‼️ after getting back to mainland after being alone at sea for four years, he joins as a janitor. pulling back the marine biology in the sense that he is interested in EVERYTHING. man of a 10000 copies. winning the idgaf war (DOES care abt how his family is disinterested in his interests but its FINE because HE cares its fine its fine. he's accepted he'll be alone). its presence WILL send everyone else into a shock about their identity. hopefully it'll happen vice versa as well

widget-time-tech / widget / gizmoduck / lil bulb = theyre being consolidated and also theyre lil bug guys now!! i dont care if you hate bugs theyre cute as shit!! widget is Usually in the little ball, but also helps control the suit with sydney. it still has anger issues so it'll make things harder for sydney rather than just silly incompetence. and it was DEFINENTLY made to be a superhero ai. no other purposes. at all. certainly not messing with the fabric of time. just helping the ppl of the town :)

mad clucktor / mad clucktor = iwhile he IS a villain he isn't necessarily a bad person. hes a physical manifestation of the part of archie that WANTS to be alive! that KNOWS his worth! he doesn't have to work himself to death to make up for his guilt!

and he's the reason why toby is even active. why he's back

toby / boyd = cannot be normal abt this sorry

he was made to be archie's idea of the "perfect boy". the perfect kid. what he wants to be what he WISHED he would be growing up. hes happy, he can do everything right, he's intelligent, he's strong. his existence is free of human doubt and anxiety, he's the perfect boy and if he was in archie's place everything would be fine

but it isnt! he gets used! toby's used for evil through no fault of his own. but he becomes a symbol of things that are "wrong" about archie. toby didn't resent anyone or be upset with how people treat him. toby doesnt have his own needs. he can do whatever people need him to do. toby was his symbol of hope but becomes a symbol of how everything with him goes wrong. he becomes an unachievable goal that archie is trying to be to make up for the existence of toby!!

and so the only way for either of them to be "truly human" is when archie learns that he doesn't have to be perfect. he never had to be. even if he's made mistakes, he still deserves to LIVE!! he doesn't have to hide his pain and discomfort for anyone!! and its okay for toby to be toby!

[ca-suffit]

Santiago has always had fucking fans!!!!!!! Jesus Christ, changing the damn races of the characters were a mistake. Because now we have to deal with fucking idiots who scream racism at everyone for liking the bad guys. If you're not capable of handling these characters and people's love of their bad behavior, find a different damn show. Santiago did the same evil shit in the books. Was it racist then? Legitimate racism in fandom is actually being overlooked by focusing on stupid shit, like people liking an evil vampire. Make it make sense.

(context)

It's intellectually lazy to think like this tbh. This is why there's so much friction in the fandom in the first place. Plus whatever u mean by "legitimate racism." This account is full of talk of all kinds of racist shit happening in the fandom / show. That's all we do. Saying "legitimate racism" is just an excuse to try and deflect from this topic and try to make it sound silly. Ur literally using his same arguments from the 2x7 trial to downplay his character and try to stop conversations that make u uncomfortable.

Santiago's character *was* changed for the show and his antiblackness is worth talking about bcuz a lot of ppl prbly missed it! bcuz a lot of ppl in this fandom are too uncomfortable to talk about it and make excuses like this ask is doing to never do it. "they're vampires, they're monsters, they're villains!" They're fictional characters written to fulfill specific goals in the story. The audience discussing those things is a good thing. It should be done even more when racial changes are made to a story bcuz character choices *will* change based on that and ppl will feel different about it.

The trial in the book does not rely on antiblackness to condemn Claudia and Louis. Santiago and the coven don't further desecrate Claudia's ashes the way Santiago describes to Louis in the show. Claudia is not thrown into a rat box in the book. She doesn't try to join the coven and think she's found a community that accepts her in the books. There's a lot of racial commentary happening in the show between Santiago and Claudia, specifically. But also the whole coven and Armand. The coven and Louis. If u want to add what Ben Daniels said about Santiago thinking Armand and Louis are attractive too then there's even *more* to talk about as to his behavior.

One ask talking about despising Santiago does not mean everyone is expected to. Maybe ur feeling sensitive bcuz u don't like hearing that he's doing racist shit. That's a p common reaction. That's a lot of Lestat fans too. U can still like villainous characters, as u said. It doesn't automatically *make u* like them if u like them. It *is* fiction. I know plenty of black fans who like AMC Santiago. Nobody is dictating *one* perspective here. But telling ppl not to discuss things like this is, like I said before, intellectually lazy and usually pushing a white fandom (a mindset, not a skin color) agenda.

[parhelios]

part two of the stargate atlantis animorphs au where john sheppard used to be tobias! this will hopefully get turned into a full fic at some point but i like telling ppl about my fic ideas its fun

an important part of this au is that at least once on atlantis people have started reminiscing about favorite foods on earth they miss and when john was asked what he missed the most, he just blinks and says "burgers" and everyone gives him shit about his basic ass answer but little do they know the real answer is fresh mouse

part one here

he never really realized just how much he missed truly flying on his own wings until he did it for the first time in too many years, circling over the spires of atlantis and relishing the feeling of thermals under his spread wings. he can’t help but chuckle as on the way to rodney’s lab later in the day, he spots some of the biologists in their lab losing their minds. he does make a note to be a little less conspicuous though. john makes another note to let chaya know that if she ever needs anything, he’s her man, for the rest of time. he’s never been more grateful for anything.

(meanwhile, rodney and less so elizabeth, have been tinhatting about john since kolya's invasion of atlantis. john was weird enough they decided they needed to investigate him more and found that large swaths of his childhood and teen years are redacted to hell and back. they can't even figure out when he was born, exactly. it's WEIRD, and the fact that not even weir has clearance makes it all the more disturbing. rodney tries his best to find an unredacted version--surely it must be somewhere in the files sent on the atlantis expedition, in case of emergency--but not even that works. the thing is, by this point, john is their friend, and though they are definitely concerned and more than a little weirded out, they trust him. they trust that if it becomes necessary, he'll trust them too.)

missions go for the most part as normal, but whenever john can get the free time, he spends it flying. eventually, ar-1 gets sent out on a recon mission to a new gate location, a supposedly uninhabited planet which they believe might serve as a potential alpha site for atlantis in case of wraith incursion

as they begin their expedition, the group moves through the brush, ears and eyes sharp for any darts or wraith patrols. they walk for some time, having chosen to head in the direction of what looks to be a plume of smoke in the sky--perhaps a sign of civilization? certainly an anomaly worth checking out. when they reach the source of it, all four come to the same conclusion. a ship has crashed here. small fires still burn in the trees and brush at the edge of the clearing from its crash landing, but for the most part it looks only superficially damaged. however, not one of them save john recognize the design, and john keeps his mouth shut.

it is an andalite blade ship, and john wonders wildly about what it could be doing so far from home as he leads rodney, teyla, and ronon towards the entrance. he's able to keep his reaction to himself pretty easily, years of having to think about his face and his words coming in very handy for deception. rodney and the rest recognize it as being like nothing they've ever seen before--an egg-like pod with a tail curving above it, ending in a sharp point facing the front of the ship, two small, stubby wings curving off of the side. rodney starts to lose it with excitement at another spacefaring race which they have not encountered before, and john has to keep his mouth shut. after the war with the yeerks, the andalites and the humans had come up with a plan to deal with the yeerks, which none of the animorphs had been privvy to, except that once they were dealt with, the andalites would return to their part of the galaxy under seerow's kindness (their prime directive) and not contact the humans again. they took ax, the one andalite who had joined the animorphs and fought alongside them for the whole war, and they took the morphing cube, and they'd said that earth could keep the animorphs and any remaining technology left behind by the andalites or yeerks on earth. what they were doing here, he had no answers for, and he knew that rodney would be inevitably disappointed when he learned that they were all major assholes who wanted nothing to do with earth and had avoided aiding them until the eleventh hour.

when they get inside, john notes no signs of the pilot, and tunes out rodney's excitement at the pilot's chair clearly designed for a quadraped, and heads straight for the console, to try and find out all he can while the team is distracted examining the ship itself. his knowledge of andalite is ingrained, still sitting in the back of his mind from when elfangor gave him his knowledge. from what he can tell, this was an experimental blade ship designed for long-range travel through z-space, featuring a prototype andalite hyperdrive, which apparently worked a little too well. after poking around some, the team determines they should get as much data as they can for themselves from the ship and head back to the gate to pass the info on to weir and return with a bigger science team to study the ship itself. john makes a private note to hold a briefing. this requires a bit of an update in clearance for everyone involved.

of course, the best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley, and as they leave the ship they are promptly ambushed and captured by a wraith patrol.

while the rest are thrown in a cell, john is taken to the wraith queen, who interrogates him on the crashed ship and though he protests ignorance, she decides to drain him until he breaks. she seems to believe it is some new trick by the atlanteans, but john catches something she likely did not mean to slip to him. she references a prisoner, and from what little she reveals, it sounds like the andalite pilot. john refuses to give up any information to her, and so the queen decides, drained as he is, that he is best used as an example for the rest of his friends, to... encourage them to cooperate. she drains him practically to the point of death, and has him dragged back to the cell, throwing him to the dirty floor at the feet of his friends.

he can feel himself dying, as he lays in the cell, every bone screaming as his team surrounds him, and he feels tears dripping onto his face, which he knows without looking is withered and aged from the feeding. and john knows in that moment that there is one way that this will go, unless he changes. he mumbles out an apology, tells them not to worry about him, and not to freak out. and then he begins the change.

for those unaware, morphing is a process which tends to be extremely unpleasant to watch, unless the morpher is an estreen who can control the process of the morph. john is very much not an estreen, despite his deep familiarity with being a hawk, and he knows exactly what this looks like as the shift megins and he takes in the horror on the faces of rodney, teyla, and ronon. he’d seen people shift birds, and the first time he'd done it, he'd watched himself in a mirror, out of pure curiosity.

the eyes went first, turning big and yellow. you could hear the crunch and grind of bones as they shrunk and molded into each other, the mass folding into z-space and condensing as his fingers merged and feet split, limbs and body shrinking into itself. feathers began to burst from the skin, starting as strange mottled patterns on the skin before lifting themselves up. the corners of his mouth stretched up as the bones of his face shifted and the skin receded over his elongating beak, leaving yellow keratin behind.

the morph felt the same as always, but alongside the grinding of bones and the odd crushing feeling that always came with a smaller morph, john could feel the strength returning to his body the closer he got to hawk-shape. as the morph finishes, he reaches out with thought-speak to the others, trying to get them to stop freaking out as he wriggles free of his shirt and vest, ruffling his wings.

rodney immediately goes "I FUCKING KNEW IT-okay not the bird thing i did not see that one coming but SOMETHING was going on--" but john's thought-speak very quickly shuts him up, and he takes the initiative of rodney's dropped jaw to come up with a quick plan and hop out of the cell through one of the holes in the wraith netting. the wraith probably think he’s dead already, and john is happy to keep it that way—he’s got an escape to make.

[psalacanthea]

WiP Whenever

Hi someone reminded me about my post-canon Hawke x Varric fic and I dug it up to read it and pulled this out a little ways ahead in the story! It's the first time Varric's perspective shows up in the story, and it's spoilery, so I will put it under a cut.

I haven't shared any fic lately so I wanted to share something. Esp with ppl returning to their Varric love again at last <3

Whatever Varric had been expecting, it wasn’t what he’d gotten.

That was Hawke.  

He’d long since come to grips with her idiosyncrasies, like Fenris and Anders had, and didn’t mind the constant disregard of anything resembling privacy or personal distance.  The first night she’d crawled into his bed over fourteen years ago had been weird.  But he’d gotten used to it, and so had everyone else.  They used to call it her ‘Ferelden habits’ behind her back.

You know the old joke about how Ferelden people and their dogs, and how hard it was to tell the difference?

Well, it was true, but after about ten years of Hawke invading his space it’d become, in a lot of ways, their space.  A place they both belonged.  It sounded sentimental but it wasn’t.  Just a fact of life, one of those ways Naomi clawed her way into your life and refused to leave.

But something had changed that night when he’d been stewing in his head again over not being able to ignore the fact that being around her made him miserable but being away from her was worse.  She’d offered him a massage.  It was something they’d done a thousand times before.  Both of them had old scars from fights they’d been through together and they liked each others’ technique; it just made sense.  Except her hands were on his skin and that somehow undid the knot in his brain, too.

That night, tipsy and warm on the rug in front of the fire, she’d hugged him, held him.  A touch so simple and ordinary for Nami, but it was like a key opening the lock holding everything at bay in his mind.  It wasn’t just ordinary, expected– just Hawke being Hawke.  It was more.  His space had never stopped being theirs, but somehow her dying had shaken something loose he didn’t even know was inside him, making him finally able to see and feel things he was pushing aside.

Hawke died.  In his head, he always known it.  She’d died, and she was gone, and deep down he’d really believed that.

Varric had been mourning something he didn’t even know was there until that moment.

Nami hugged him, and her lips had been on his bare shoulder, kissing a scar she’d panicked over because she hadn’t been there when he’d gotten it.  Trapped in sudden knowledge, and the pain in it, he’d pushed her away.  There wasn’t any other choice.  How…

How did you tell your best friend that not only did you love her, but that love had been buried until the moment she’d died?  That you didn’t know when you’d started loving her and you didn’t think you knew how to stop?  What words would actually explain that completely bizarre feeling?  Was it even worth it now to say anything, to risk it when she was safe, home, alive?

Except she wasn’t safe.

Of course she wasn’t.  He couldn’t protect Nami, he couldn’t protect Kirkwall, he couldn’t protect a single one of his damn friends, not even that…not even that stubborn bastard Solas.  All those failures just kept adding up, and Hawke understood that more than anyone– but he didn’t want to tell her.

He was such an idiot.

Not loving her until she died.  Not mourning her until she was alive again.  What was next?  She’d fall in love with someone else and he’d be watching them get married and he’d be standing there watching?  Again?

Shit.

What the hell was he supposed to do?