#i used to be fucking married and that was fine lmfao

[faisty]

can someone pls explain to me why i feel so sick to my stomach and like i’m fully exiting this plane of existence at the mere suggestion of romantic and/or sexual entanglement like wtf is wrong with me

[envyenvys]

svsss | one-shot | T | 2.4k | ao3

This is. unreasonably long for what it is. I wrote this whole thing in a day bc I couldn’t stop thinking abt it and it’s so stupid but I hope it’s also as funny as I think it is??? So here, have some post-canon bingqiu nonsense from an outsider pov

What’s His Fucking Deal

#cucumber-spotting

dick jokes

[screenshot of a text from Peerless Cucumber that reads “Do you still take commissions?”]

passionate ranting

no fucking way

he’s still alive???

binghe obsession

of course this is how we find out

homoerotic undertones

maybe he really was dead and he just rose from the grave to commission art of lbh one last time

in a totally hetero way ofc

binghe obsession

ofc

passionate ranting

after a year?

homoerotic undertones

anything’s possible

binghe obsession

@ dick jokes what did he want anyway

?

homoerotic undertones

@ dick jokes

dick jokes

gimme a minute he’s still explaining

homoerotic undertones

still???

passionate ranting

ooo point for me

homoerotic undertones

no it’s not, that’s just how he talks

it needs to be pidw comment level ranting or it doesn’t count

binghe obsession

probably still a point for me though

homoerotic undertones

shut the fuck up

basically everything he says counts as a point for you

some of us actually need to put effort into our point collecting

binghe obsession

skill issue

your fault for picking one of the harder ones

dick jokes

how do you think I feel

binghe obsession

yeah you really fucked that one up

he’s only ever made like one dick joke

passionate ranting

famously

binghe obsession

famously

dick jokes

what the actual fuck

THERES NO WAY

he’s serious?????????

homoerotic undertones

context??

binghe obsession

what did he do now

dick jokes

he wants me to

how the fuck do I phrase this so it makes sense

he wants me to go to his stupidly expensive apartment to paint a portrait of him and his husband(???????) in sqq x lbh cosplay

📌 [passionate ranting pinned a message to this channel. See all pinned messages.]

homoerotic undertones

how gullible do you think we are

dick jokes

IM NOT FUCKING JOKING

[screenshot of a text from Peerless Cucumber that reads “Would it be possible for you to paint at least part of it in person? My husband would prefer the authenticity of a live portrait, though it can still be digital.”]

[screenshot of a text from Peerless Cucumber that reads “My apartment would be best, our cosplay will likely attract too much attention anywhere else.”]

passionate ranting

WHAT

HUSBAND??????????????????

homoerotic undertones

oh my fucking god

binghe obsession

did he marry a lbh cosplayer

please say yes

passionate ranting

SHEN QINGQIU??????????

what the fuck HAPPENED to him while he was gone????

homoerotic undertones

maybe he got fucking

binghe obsession

lmfao he wishes

homoerotic undertones

transmigrated

let me finish??

passionate ranting

I mean……

he did get married, so

it’s likely

binghe obsession

can we go back to the part where under suggested he got fucking transmigrated

homoerotic undertones

think about it

binghe obsession

oh don’t worry I’m definitely thinking about it

passionate ranting

wait no I kinda get it

PC is kind of perfect for a transmigration romance tbh

homoerotic undertones

he’d be so good at it

passionate ranting

like imagine he ended up in pidw, he probably knows that world better than the author at this point

classic op otome isekai protag

homoerotic undertones

exactlyyyy

binghe obsession

what if we had a normal conversation for once

passionate ranting

in the peerless cucumber discord server?

binghe obsession

yeah okay point taken

then can either of you two geniuses explain the lbh x sqq shipping

homoerotic undertones

see that’s where the transmigration theory comes in

otome isekai never has the protag end up with their character’s canon love interest, but in pidw that cuts out like every woman

binghe obsession

wait hold on

homoerotic undertones

which is fine bc we’re 99% sure he isn’t into women anyway, but I digress

binghe obsession

you think he got transmigrated into fucking LUO BINGHE????

passionate ranting

wait they’re onto something here

let them cook

homoerotic undertones

what’s more of an otome isekai plotline than the protag falling in love with a character they used to hate after actually getting to know them?

PC would be basically immune to all the bullshit sqq pulls in the early chapters, and with his encyclopedic knowledge of pidw he’d notice pretty quick if there was anything different about sqq

like the brothel theory and how he treats nyy

plus with the way he writes comments he’d be able to keep up with sqq’s snark pretty easily

passionate ranting

wait why is this kinda…… 😳

binghe obsession

we are NOT shipping peerless cucumber x shen qingqiu

dick jokes

what the fuck happened while I was gone

passionate ranting

don’t worry about it

what did he say?

dick jokes

well the good news is he’s paying enough to cover my rent for the next six months

homoerotic undertones

you’re fucking joking

dick jokes

the bad news is they want me to start tomorrow

binghe obsession

LMFAOOO GOOD FUCKING LUCK

What’s His Fucking Deal

#general

homoerotic undertones

@ dick jokes you have to tell us everything, we need to know if the transmigration theory is real

passionate ranting

it’s real to me

and honestly kind of compelling ngl

[passionate ranting created a poll.]

would you read the peerless cucumber transmigration romance?

☐ yes I need to know how his brain works [25%]

☐ fuck no he’d be insufferable [75%]

4 votes • 23h left

dick jokes

what happened to hello? how are you? good morning?

homoerotic undertones

good morning, how’s the commission going

dick jokes

bad

homoerotic undertones

didn’t you only get there like 10 minutes ago

dick jokes

yeah

┌ passionate ranting would you read the peerless cu…

passionate ranting

why are you all voting no

wait what’s happening with dj?

dick jokes

well first of all you’re both wrong, he didn’t transmigrate into lbh

passionate ranting

damn

dick jokes

second of all if I stop replying call the police immediately because the lbh cosplayer murdered me for looking at PC too long

it’s not like I’m a fucking artist who needs references or anything

passionate ranting

HES SQQ????

homoerotic undertones

villainess isekai……

passionate ranting

I can’t believe they sank scumcum in less than 24h

wait hold on

binghe obsession

where the fuck are you coming up with these names

also good morning

[passionate ranting created a poll.]

best PC ship

☐ peerless cucumber x shen qingqiu [100%]

☐ peerless cucumber x luo binghe [0%]

1 vote • 23h left

binghe obsession

there’s something wrong with you clinically

dick jokes

guys idk if I’m gonna survive this

homoerotic undertones

is the lbh cosplayer actually threatening you? bc I’m 100% willing to call the police right now

or book a didi to pick you up

actually what’s his address I’m coming to get you

dick jokes

fucking chill

(but ty I appreciate it <3)

I was talking abt the mountains of dog food they’re shovelling down my throat rn

binghe obsession

lmfaooo

dick jokes

I don’t think the lbh cosplayer has stopped touching PC since I got here

they’re like

nauseating

homoerotic undertones

honestly still a pretty good reason to just leave

I have the didi app open just say the word

dick jokes

six months of rent

homoerotic undertones

right

binghe obsession

I can’t decide if this is ooc behaviour for lbh or not

passionate ranting

the exhibitionism is accurate at least

dick jokes

ugh don’t say that

homoerotic undertones

bingge isn’t clingy though

passionate ranting

hm good point

binghe obsession

I’m just thinking, if the transmigration theory was true and PC became sqq, it would affect lbh’s behaviour

passionate ranting

omg we converted you

homoerotic undertones

oh that’s true, PC’s obsessed with lbh and he hates sqq… if he turned into sqq he wouldn’t be able to keep the plot on track to save his life

binghe obsession

actually nvm I don’t want to think about this anymore

homoerotic undertones

noooo come on, think of it as a character study!!

passionate ranting

yeah!! even bingge was obsessed with sqq for years, there’s no way a lbh with PC for a shizun could be normal about him

binghe obsession

ugh fine

passionate ranting

!!!

binghe obsession

well to start, it would depend entirely on what part of the novel PC transmigrated into, how much freedom he has to fuck around, and how hard he’s trying to act like original!sqq

canon lbh is an obsessive, horny perfectionist incapable of self reflection in any meaningful way bc he can’t accept that his life sucks and he’s miserable. He has mommy issues, daddy issues, abandonment issues, probably an inferiority complex and a superiority complex at the same time, and who knows what else. Basically anything airplane thought would be depressing enough to introduce in the first arc but then never resolved later on

homoerotic undertones

OK Peerless Cucumber

binghe obsession

YOU ASKED????

passionate ranting

under shut up I wanna hear the rest of the analysis 😭

binghe obsession

what I was GOING to say is that if the shizun lbh was always trying to get the approval of just turned around one day and started doting on him the way we KNOW pc would, he’d direct all his issues toward pc and then it’d probably dissolve into some endless feedback loop of obsessive behaviour

so yeah, the clinginess makes sense

passionate ranting

ohh you’re so right

hopefully a bingge with pc!sqq would have a happier ending…

this sucks, now I wish the transmigration theory was real :(

homoerotic undertones

probably better that it isn’t, since, yk, PC would have to die first

passionate ranting

only a little bit

dick jokes

thank fucking god I thought I’d be trapped in there with them forever

homoerotic undertones

are you already done??

dick jokes

lmfao god no

lunch break, I’m hiding on the balcony

there’s SO MUCH shit I need to tell you guys, you don’t even know

binghe obsession

they actually gave you a lunch break?

dick jokes

tbh actually I think the only reason I get a break is bc lbh wanted the time alone to feed pc

these two are literally insane

I’m eating off a takeout plate bc they don’t have enough dishes. they didn’t even offer me anything to drink bc there’s only one cup in the entire apartment and they share it

homoerotic undertones

what the fuck

dick jokes

RIGHT?

binghe obsession

thought you’d be full from all that dog food lmfao

dick jokes

ugh don’t remind me you’re gonna make me lose my appetite

which is saying something bc this is literally unironically the best food I’ve ever tasted in my life

lbh made it and I thought he was genuinely gonna kill me when pc told him to give me some

like I’m sorry bro you’re the one who hired me?? take it up with your wife

passionate ranting

what’s his problem 😭

you don’t need to method act for cosplay

dick jokes

I don’t think he’s acting though?? like this is 100% home grown issues

he calls pc ‘shizun’ unironically and refers to himself as his disciple

homoerotic undertones

wtf

dick jokes

AND they’ve been wearing the most beautiful, intricate, clearly handmade xianxia style hanfu I’ve ever seen the entire time, didn’t even take it off to eat which is CRAZY to me

like what if you dropped soy sauce on it and it stained??? I’d kms

passionate ranting

oh they weren’t kidding abt the cosplay attracting attention then huh

dick jokes

THEY WERE NOT KIDDING, NO

homoerotic undertones

we’ve got to get you outta there

dick jokes

six months of rent

homoerotic undertones

right

well. good luck I guess

at least the food’s good

dick jokes

at least the food’s good

What’s His Fucking Deal

#general

dick jokes

hey guys?

this is gonna sound insane but

I think this might be the real luo binghe

homoerotic undertones

what

dick jokes

I think we were right about the transmigration thing

I think peerless cucumber really did die and transmigrate last year, and he brought the real lbh back with him

it’s just… something about the way they’re talking? PC keeps having to explain things to lbh but it’s only the sort of stuff you wouldn’t know about if you, say, lived in a fictional xianxia world without modern technology

also I saw his huadian glowing, like LED bright glowing

you can’t do that with practical effects

passionate ranting

are you doing okay, dj?

binghe obsession

blink twice if you need help

dick jokes

I’m serious!!! there’s something really weird about them!!!

passionate ranting

that doesn’t mean they’re transmigrators??? they’re probably just hardcore larping or something

dick jokes

see that’s what I thought at first too, but then

HOLY FUCK

homoerotic undertones

???

dick jokes

[10 seconds of shaky footage of an icy portal opening in the centre of an upper-class apartment living room. A man in xianxia style hanfu stumbles out of it, followed by a much taller man with long, dark hair, and skin tinged faintly blue.]

passionate ranting

MOBEI JUN???????????

binghe obsession

is that fucking shang qinghua

homoerotic undertones

WHAT

passionate ranting

MOBEI JUN???? FROM PIDW?????

what the fuck. what the Fuck

homoerotic undertones

what the FUCK

this is so

passionate ranting

oh my god. you weren’t kidding. that’s the real luo binghe

oh FUCK peerless cucumber died last year and no one even knew

AND HE GOT TRANSMIGRATED?????????

homoerotic undertones

THEYRE REAL???????????????

wait why are they in OUR world?????

binghe obsession

I think I need to lie down for a minute

passionate ranting

why is shang qinghua there???? isn’t he supposed to be dead??????

dick jokes

PC just called him airplane

passionate ranting

AIRPLANE SHOOTING TOWARDS THE SKY????????????????????????????

homoerotic undertones

imagine getting transmigrated into your own novel and your biggest hater is there too and he’s fucking your protagonist

villainess isekai protag peerless cucumber is real and I don’t know how to feel about this

binghe obsession

I just know this is your fault somehow

all three of you

dick jokes

ME???

WHAT DID I DO??

homoerotic undertones

wait oh fuck this means airplane died too and no one noticed

how did it happen twice???????

dick jokes

……….. shang qinghua and mobei jun want me to paint a portrait of them too

passionate ranting

omg….. moshang is real……..

homoerotic undertones

DJ GO HOME??

JUST LEAVE

dick jokes

they’re doubling my pay

one year of rent is worth so much more than my sanity

binghe obsession

I just remembered when like two years ago PC said something stupid on weibo

and it was one of his “lbh deserves better than this shitty novel” rants so I commented something like “luo binghe isn’t gonna fuck you, dude”

he was so pissed at me

but like

homoerotic undertones

LMFAO

binghe obsession

he really did it. luo binghe really fucked him

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 4

Geralt is the captain of a pirate ship, named "Kaer Morhen." Perhaps he's still a witcher, perhaps he's just a regular old human (with white hair and golden eyes? Lol) His brothers (and "cousins" from other witcher schools) are his crew Now I can see this going two different ways, so choose a favorite (or make up your own, I am only the beginning, I hold no affront of being anything more) Jaskier is a nobleman's son, aboard his family's ship, possibly on his way to be forced into a marriage to a woman he doesn't love. And either he falls overboard or he's shoved off as a murder attempt, but he's lost in the ocean. Lambert (or someone else, but I love to imagine how Lambert would attempt to call this out to his captain who he doesn't take seriously 90% of the time, #brothers) calls that he spots a man bobbing in the sea, and they haul him up. The majority of the crew sees sight of his jewels and finery and insists on holding him ransom. But when the prisoner wakes up and isn't afraid of death, Geralt looks into this a little more. Apparently their prisoner won't get a ransom because his entire family despise him and his want to run away and become a bard. Funny. Most pirate ships have entertainers aboard to help the pirates deal with months of nothing but ocean. Perhaps they'll have use of this dumb twink after all. OR, option number two Jaskier is a nobleman's son, chained and starved for the crime of wanting to become a bard and not wanting to marry some prissy noblewoman. He hears a lot of loud noises and screams and then a bunch of burly men in fur cloaks stomp down and start rifling through their supplies. One catches eye of him and immediately yells to the captain. The captain is a very handsome man with silver locks and bright eyes, and the dreaded pirate captain is treating Jaskier with more kindness and gentleness than his family or their workers ever have. The pirate hauls Jaskier up into his arms and carries him to their own ship, laying him down in his own bed, and looking over his injuries and sending one of his crewmembers to make hm a fine meal. Jaskier begins telling the captain of his abusive life beforehand and mentions that all he's ever wanted is to spread music and love, and shockingly enough, this big scary (gorgeous) man doesn't even laugh at him for it.. Oh fuck he's falling in love-

♡!Optional addons!♡ • Geralt gayly teaching his bard how to swordfight!!!

• Perhaps Jaskier's family is crueler and has done more than beat him, perhaps they've stabbed him or something, and the very last thing he sees before he passes out from bloodloss is Geralt (Maybe he even thinks he's an angel! Lmfao)

• Geralt getting lovingly bullied by his brothers for taking care of his songbird so well

• Geralt's crew revenge-robbing or revenge-killing Jaskier's family if we do Option one for the story (attempted-murder route), since it's implied it happens in Option Two while they ransack the ship-

• Perhaps I'll do a sequel for this prompt one day for Mermaid Jaskier, I do LOVE mermaids, take this as a much smaller and much less detailed prompt for if you want that idea, too! Perhaps the Pankratz ship has a captured mer aboard, parched and dehydrated (I just mostly think it'd be funny if Geralt was checking his pulse and if he has any injuries while random other witches dump buckets of sea water on him-)

[bigdsgirl]

Love Next Door Episode 12

look i had to watch sports and do chores (sigh), but I am HERE now. and i have THOUGHTS. because lovelies, we fucking MADE IT!!!!!!

these two dweebs, just kiss again. <3 with your banana milk <3

god these two are children i am cackling, they cannot admit what is happening!!!! lmfao!!!

seung-hyo is dying and i love it

not him offering her food. DEAD. I will not survive the episode.

and not her being like hey!!! only i get food offered by my man!!

WERE THERE ANY BUGS????? lol omfg.

the way they continue to revert back to their sassy selves each time they transition or deal with wild news 😭😭😭

"I've always been with you" BYE I AM DUST

not the going through their history through small touches. BYE.

okay now smooch. please for the love of god.

NO GIRL not the hair!!! KISS AGJLDGJAFGK

omg he is so happy with them cuddling <3 this man is over the moon.

i will be the using the shot of them on a bench as a background somewhere, mark my words. or it's going to be the center of a bullet journal spread because AHHH

omg mo-eum girl, rock the interview! you got this babe!

as a hiring manager at my work, girl you killlling it

oh hi mr. seung-hyo's dad! and other guy! are we about to brawl? kinda feels like it.

goodness that man is just... so fine. silver/grey hair is gorgeous.

this man is so confused lolw hat is happening

YEAH TELL HER YOU LOVE HER! AND HE CANNOT SWAY HER!

YEAH SHE IS SO PRETTY HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE HER???

HAHA OMFG HES GAY! GO OFF KING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this. is. a. comedy. i. love. it.

well this changes everything and i love it <3 just two queens that are besties who work together <3

bahaha he's so embarrassed. i'm dying. the GROAN ma'am i love it

finally communicating, i love that. also she has a point! it's not her secret to tell! omg. and he's like "i married a baddie my god" and boy you are right.

omg "mom I'm an influencer now" omg she called it an influenza. I am using that now. ☠️

omg no not the blind date for seok-ryu

i have a feeling it will be the journalist and i will lose it

omfg his FACE when mom asked about the blind date. i will fucking die this is a comedy of the highest tier

cowards!!! you tell your biggest fan!!!

oh she knows. and a superfan would know! go off queen!

WE ADMITTED IT LETS GOO!!!

"I feel like my body and soul is refreshed and massaged" GIRL SPEAK ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!

not the flashbacks with everyone being like YOU ARE IN LOVE!!!!! and Mo-eum just in the background 😭🤭

Not her saying she's out of his league and that's why people never put seung-hyo and mo-eum together I LOVE HER

dear god if yeon-du is not her step daughter by the end of this show, I will be committing crimes of revenge. they are a FAMILY.

HELL YEAH MOM! Yeon-du should be her daughter!!!

ALERT! ALERT! GORGEOUS GREEN SHIRT ON HIM!!!!!!! I AM LOSING IT!!!!!!

he was built to be a dad, i luv him.

"arizona si, chicago no", what in the sam heck are these shirts, hilarious

he says look, i want to scream this from the rooftops that we are together. <3 and boy, I get it.

oh no girl. girl he is planning forever with you. oh no oh no.

oh girl, seok-ryu looks so cute in those PJs!!!

hahah oh girl you are going to regret saying what you said. he says no one can know? got it, 12 feet apart at all times.

oh girl what the fuck why you do that!!!!! that's his phone!!!!

I am glad he is standing up for himself. because i agree, her behavior is not appropriate at all!!!!!!!

movie! date! making out at the movies! lets go!

adventure day with the fam let's freaking do it!!!!!!

are we CAMPING???? YAY! I love a good camping trip!

oh they are such a good team <3 cute cute!

Mo-eum is such a cool cat, i love her

jfc they are such a family already!!! barbecue! water gun fights!

did this show just say trans rights? I am electing yes with the umbrella shot 😎

we love a trip sponsored by electric cars. fancy!

the 🤌yearning🤌

omg the water spot on the shirt hot him bothered! ope! omfg not the giving her his FLANNEL!!!!!!!

my girl looks so good for her movie date!!!! eep!! oh goodie, time for her..... to experience the "no one can know". lol he's working on architecture project, of course. omg everyone is cuddling except them!!!!!!!! WAHH NOOOOOO

what a gorgeous sunset for these gorgeous people. ugh she is the cutest lil kiddo. omg. wait. wait. is it time??? are we gonna.... ya know, talk about it??

WAIT CAT I SAW A CAT!!!!!

god she loves this girl so much, how can you not want her as her step mom?????

holy shit. holy. shit. she said it. SHE SAID IT.

i am stunned. what a beautiful confession. MO-EUM MY GIRL.

yeah let's cancel the agreement!!!! it wasn't a mistake!!!

NEVER???????????? SIR????? 😔

No no no no please, you three deserve happiness and its with each other! please!

god damn it. Now she's gonna take the job in antartica so he doesn't feel bad.

HAHAH the hand reaching. girl just GRAB IT!

LOL the "you go in first"

oh no not the doc visit.

OH THANK GOD ITS NOT ALZHEIMERS! YESS!!!!!!! GOD BLESS!!!!

Due to stress and anxiety??? well I hope that is the case.... I am not a fan of this. hmm hmm hmm.

LOL HES SO HAPPY!!! My lil baby <3 he's such a drama queen.

like father like son :)

oh girl. oh girl. I laugh because you did this to yourself. you asked him not to bring it up!

ope a family dinner oh my goodness. my girl Tae-hui stirring the pot like the queen she is

omg seung-hyo is so nervous and she is SO JEALOUS

these two are children omfg, just communicate

PARENTS OVERNIGHT TRIP????? SO THEY WILL HAVE THE HOUSE TO THEMSELVES???? LETS FREAKING! GO!

love the fanny back good sir

lol them arguing and seok-ryu dying, i feel the same

OH BROTHER IS LEAVING TOO????

oh we about to fuck. shit. up! let's go!!!!!!!!!

the parents being so silly and jealous of each other

oh he GOT THE LENS -- that lens is way too big but i love the enthusiasm lmfao - he STUDIED

GIRL TIME! YAY!

boy call her she might kill you -- i hate to say it

omfg! bestie boy time too!! except these boys need to stop being awkward <3

God bless Mo-eum, she is the truly best friend to both Seok-ryu and Seung-hyo <3

Mo-eum baby you deserve the world <3 i hope he grovels so hard when he realizes how much he mucked up

god this show just nails friendships at all stages, acquaintances, work friends, new friends, new neighbors, long term besties as youth, young adults, later in life. just ALL OF IT!

NOT Tae-hui giving him WEDDING CUPS FOR THE TWO OF THEM??????? A QUEEEEEEEN.

omg he mad a pet house??? for the kitty?? the she saved??? that she is allergic to??? omfg. i am a mess. the baby house he made them, and the upgrade now!!!

WAIT THEY ARE THE BABIES OF THEM??? AHH!!!

SHE WAS HIS FIRST CLIENT!!!! HE MADE IT! FOR HER!!!! WAHHH

date night at the crib! screaming!

he is so happy she was jealous <3 h

he couldnt focus at work??? omfg girl you are wrecking him

"comic books in my room" ooooooo is that what we are calling it now??? heh!!!!

first time in here as a your BOYFRIENNND

he's admitting he went for HER! not the book!

omg he's admitting how nervous he was!!!!!!!

BOY IS IN PANIC MODE FROM DAY ONE!!!!!!!!! WAH!

YAY COMMUNICATION!!!!!!

she said, bad thoughts are fine 🤭 and approved bad deeds? boy we are in it NOW! the DOOR IS SHUT! EEK! THE LIGHT IS OFF? OH HELL YEAH! LFG!

[blackbatcass]

If it’s okay could you recommend comics for the flash fam? I really want to start reading them but I have no idea where to start 😅

YES I ABSOLUTELY CAN ANON!! reading flashfam comics can change your life for the better fr, unlike batman comics which usually change your life for the worse. Flash comics are honestly very simple to get into? for the most part you can just pick which era you want to start with, hop on that mainline ongoing and read from there.

this got kind of ridiculously long (i ramble about flash sorry)

i am not by any means a well-read silver age fan so I'll just skip right over those LMAO. if you want to read barry's run i assume you can just read flash v1 up until crisis. if you're interested in reading wally as kid flash he's featured in backups throughout a lot of v1 iirc!

unsurprisingly, my number one rec for the flashfam would be the flash volume 2 (1987). it's got pretty much everything you need. it introduced the speed force, basically created what we think of as the flashfamily, reintroduced & created beloved characters, and built up wally into the loser we know and love today<3 at its core it's the story of wally's journey from the very start of his career as the flash, learning how to fill barry's shoes and be a grown-up. it starts when he's this insane cringe 20 year old loser and ends with him as a full adult who's married with two kids LOL. it does soooo much work for wally as a character it's unreal.

but to keep it real flash v2 is......very long. like Incredibly long. it is 200+ issues and ran for over 20 years. so i can break it down into some smaller pieces & try to provide a roadmap so it's maybe a little less intimidating

the bad news is that the first guy to start out on the run fucking HATED wally for some reason lmfao and it shows. it's painful to read. the good news is he only stayed for the first 14 issues lol so honestly you can just skip those and start at #15 where william messner-loebs took over. now......the messner-loebs era is also not perfect and can be a bit of a slog. I love it in the fond 'wow wtf was all that' kind of way but it is definitely not a masterpiece. there are a lot of unmemorable, bland (occasionally batshit & ridiculous) arcs and he introduces a whole army of mostly forgettable side characters. credit where credit is due there is a lot of good stuff in there, he set up some stuff that is foundational to flash lore (like LINDA!! and hartley!) but it's not for everyone. if you want you can jump in at #31, where wally moves to keystone, or if you read some of it and it's not for you it's honestly fine to just skip to #62 where waid's run begins. #62-65 are a flashback retelling of wally's origin story (basically flash year one) and it's sooo good. essential wally reading.

the waid run is definitely the best section of the comic. it's classic it's iconic it builds the flashfamily it creates the speedforce it introduces bart allen. it's phenomenal. if you are interested in characters like bart, the garricks, johnny & jesse quick, and max mercury they are all integrated into the flashfam over this run. if nothing else i would recommend reading this part. oh and SPEAKING of bart allen, he gets introduced in issue #92! he hangs out in flash for a bit, zero hour happens, and pretty soon after his impulse series starts in 1995.

this is my #2 flashfam rec! if you have been in these tumblr circles at all then you've heard us rave about impulse 1995. it's simply Thee comic of all time. everyone on earth needs to read it im not kidding. it follows bart's life living with max mercury and his daughter helen, trying to adjust to normal life in the past. it's just. it's the best. it's 89 issues long, but honestly it goes by SUPER fast. i would recommend doing what i did and reading impulse and flash in parallel, just to get that organic experience & context. they cross over several times until impulse eventually ends.

ok back to flash v2. once geoff johns takes over..... i mean i won't say it ruins the comic and there is definitely stuff worth reading but i love waid infinitely better. it's really up to you. waid also comes back now and then to write a few chunks.

the flash series doesn't end until 2008. the next big thing after would be flash: rebirth, which. i am not a fan of for obvious reasons (get back in that coffin barry) but it's essential to understanding the plot so i have to include it lol.

i honest to god have no idea wtf was going on during flashpoint & new52. I will not pretend to understand that era. however if you are interested in the modern flashfam & the introduction of characters like ace west and avery ho, there are a couple good places to start! if you want to read williamson's run, you can start at the rebirth flash run (flash v5 #1). wally is eventually reintroduced (thank god) during this run.

if you want to start at the jeremy adams run (which features lots of members of the flashfamily) you can start at flash #768, which runs all the way to #800.

I would personally recommend the current flash ongoing written by si spurrier! it is kind of a lot and I'm in the minority in my love for it but it's interesting, thoughtful, has a role for pretty much every character, and has a lot of really cool cosmic horror elements. i will concede that it is VERY complicated and technical but you can tell spurrier has things to say and honestly it's so rare that a comic makes me think these days that i'm eating it up.

there were also two recent flashfam miniseries that just finished, speed force and jay garrick: the flash! i enjoyed both. they're short and fun.

aaaand that's my list! it is by no means comprehensive and it is very possible i got some things wrong so I apologize in advance. if you have any more questions I will be happy to try and answer them. I hope this was at least a little bit helpful and not even more confusing lol!

[menlove]

thank you @therealsaintscully for tagging me !! i always love writing tag games asjdfajsdf

how many works do you have on ao3?

on naturechild, i have 8. on my older, multi-fandom account (jamestkirk) i have 13. thennnn i have 2 orphaned ones in the star wars fandom & then on an ancient one i abandoned in 2014 i have 21. and i know i orphaned at LEAST 3 others at some point. so that's... like 44?

what’s your total word count?

141,179 on naturechild, 139,838 on jamestkirk, and then i have no idea what the password for my old one is so idk there. but at least 281,017. even though i had 21 on that super old one, they were all really short, and the orphaned ones i have are only a few thousand each. so probably around like the 290-300k mark.

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

and oh, my heart was flawed (aziraphale/crowley)

is it a great or little thing we fought? (han/luke)

i'm not trying to write a love song (steve/bucky)

and all i ever knew (only you) (aziraphale/crowley)

the star to every wandering bark (aziraphale/crowley) (abandoned)

do you respond to comments? why/why not?

i try to !! i certainly read them all. i tend to get overwhelmed easily by responding to people, like just in general, so like any inbox i have (email, text, tumblr, discord, etc) i have a ton i haven't replied to. but i try for the first few weeks after a fic drops at least fjsdfjasdf

what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

oh hm. well, i need you (never leave me alone) ends on an angsty note but there's the third installment planned where john survives getting shot and they wind up fine, so while the fic ends sad their arc isn't. so with that excluded, your midas touch (quentin/eliot) is probably the winner. it's just really angsty sex where they aren't together but they know they want to be together but eliot turned quentin down (like in canon for those of u who were wise enough to not watch the magicians) so it's just. smut and sadness.

what's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

uuuuh hm i tend to write a lot of like mid-canon fics i guess or angst or like fics that finish off with a Hopeful tone but not happy or sad but i guess the one that i'd say is the happiest ending is probably i'm not trying to write a love song. it's a stucky fix-it fic bc i was so mad about endgame that i had to make myself not mad by writing this, but it's essentially just. 5 times bucky "jokingly" asked steve to marry him and one time steve actually asked him. i'm gonna be so real i do not remember the plot of this at all beyond that.

do you write crossovers?

not anymore, no! i wrote some waaay back in the day on deviantart- most notably i was kicking around a star trek/beatles crossover as a kid where spock, bones, kirk, and uhura swapped places w the beatles. i don't remember where i was going with it at all, but i wrote it in a notebook at summer camp lol

have you ever received hate on a fic?

yeah lmfao most recently i had someone tell me i was ableist for not tagging a 7k fic "slow-burn" bc they didn't get to anal sex right away. mind you, they were still fucking, there just wasn't anal. and this meant i was ableist. absolutely insane comment i still think about it like weekly.

do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yeahhhhh most of my fics on naturechild are explicit. and idk i'd say usually just Porn With Feelings like i love using smut as a way to explore characters and relationships rather than just straight up being hot. which is maybe my downfall but hey i'm having fun

have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of!

have you ever had a fic translated?

i don't think so? i think i've been asked a few times but no

have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah! i co-wrote a beatles fic w a friend in middle school, i co-wrote the star to every wandering bark w my ex, and i'm writing i want you, need you, i love you with @forthlin. there's ALSO in the works a thing i'm co-writing w @dykebeatles at some point that exists in our minds and is very beautiful such a beautiful world

what's your all-time favorite ship?

i truly couldn't answer this w a gun to my head this changes frequently. but my ones that keep returning are: kirk/spock(/bones), (redacted star wars ship u could all figure out w the slightest sleuthing), charles/erik, and john/paul. and then i'm also huge into mulder/scully, twelve/clara, and doctor/master, but i don't tend to read or write fics for those i just witness them on my screen and go crazy.

what's a wip that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

the star to every wandering bark will never get finished bc we broke up and then we were Planning on finishing it and he didn't get back to me lmaoooo. but also the universe for is it a great or little thing we fought? i thought was very neat and wanted to finish and then never got around to. given that it's literally 8 years old at this point i don't think i'm ever going to but i loved that little world!

what are your writing strengths?

i've been told i'm good at dialogue and i think i'm good at painting emotional pictures honestly !!

what are your writing weaknesses?

i get really bogged down sometimes and it's hard for me to know what to cut to make the action flow so it's not just chunks of rambling that take too long to move from one action/scene to the next. i'm trying to Actively work on this and get better though so ! i'm also not the strongest at smut bc again, i use it as a character study more than anything. trying to improve on that as well!

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

like prev said, depends on how well it's done. i've seen it done really well and really poorly. regardless i definitely think you should probably try and find someone who speaks that language and not just use google translate bc oh boy.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

fasdfasdf kim possible when i was 9...... first time i started taking fanfiction SERIOUSLY though was the beatles when i was 11

what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

ohhhh hm. i really wanna write a mcharrison fic but they're so bittersweet to me and idk if i could do them justice. i've also only ever written one cherik fic and that's criminal, i'd love to write another one

what's your favorite fic you've written?

okay i know it's recency bias but it's between cut to chord: subliminal flash of love-making like i don't think i've ever been as proud of a fic as that one, and then i want you (every time that you're near) was just so fun to write and so adfasdf i love them

tagging: yall don't have to do this but tagging some ppl i know have published fics and may not have been tagged ! @forthlin @wronglennon @dykebeatles @sgtpeppers and anyone else that would like to do this can say i tagged them <3

[bcolfanfic]

i’d love more jean hcs, im obsessed with her. what was her childhood like and her life before she met cros, how did they meet?

all of these apply to both side a and b of the au <3 things don’t really split off between them until the boys are out of bagram.

my girllllll. i love her so much.

- grew up in iowa in the same town croz did. very a typical suburbs white picket fence family. dad worked a 9-5 mom stayed home, did dance and soccer and all in all had a pretty normal childhood.

- def one of those little girls that got called bossy when they weren’t *mean*, just assertive. very self assured and in spite of everything she goes through as an adult that never really changes.

- big summer camp kid. makes her laugh a little when jj is the first kid they try to send to sleep away summer camp and he cries sooo much they have to go get him. even though her home life was *fine* she was a really independent kid and couldn’t wait to go away for a couple weeks the second school got out.

- was always the one teaching the other girls how to make super complicated friendship bracelets. holds on to a lot of the ones other people gave her even as an adult. sentimental like that <3

- her and croz met as kiddos. weren’t best friends right off the bat and were a grade apart but. he was very very shy and little miss assertive told people off at recess for picking on him.

- and sweet little 9 year old croz was so 😧 at this assertive little girl a grade below him going off at someone like that. had a lil crush on her immediately lmao.

- she goes by jeanie as a teenager into being an adult but when she’s a kid she hateddddd it. thought it was too babyish and would very bluntly tell people her name is je-an and that’s it.

- but croz calls her jeanie and she doesn’t have the heart to correct shy little boy that seems a little lonely. so she lets him do it. no one else though.

- they actually start talking enough to become true friends in middle school. and in true 13 year old girl fashion she’s distraughtttt when he goes off to high school a year before her. big dramatic tears about how he’s gonna forget her and find some pretty blonde high schooler that’s cooler to hang out with instead.

- and this is before they’re even datinggg 14 year old croz is like uhhh no i won’t (: don’t worry (: and how hard he fumbled that keeps him up at night lmfao.

- but obviously he does not forget about her and they start dating in high school. do all the stereotypical high school sweetheart things. prom, football games etc etc.

- croz is one of those kids that eats lunch with his english teacher bless his heart. very bookish and jeanie finds that so endearing about him.

- school wise jeanie does cheer and really likes math (: smart as a whip and it’s one of the many reasons croz adores her. thinks she’s just the coolest smartest girl ever and is sometimes worries she might be wasting her time with him of all people.

- their parents think they’re good for each other and are happy to joke about how ohhh those two are gonna get married and give us grandbabies someday hahaha (: isn’t that nice (:

- which is rich when both sets of parents full 180 and are kinda. fucking monsters when they have an Oops and she gets pregnant w/ jj right out of high school.

- in side a where croz is much alive during all the meadow stuff that’s a hugeee part of why he’s so pissed about everything. obv jj isn’t as young as he was and meadow is older than jeanie was by a few years. but she’s still /young/. and he can still see in his head how hard it was for them when jj was a baby, they were so clueless and he was terrified he’d gone and ruined jean’s life. doesn’t want that for his son, doesn’t want that for meadow <\3

[sugar-omi]

not me passing the fuck out umm... embarrassing 😬😬😬 BUT ANYWAYS!! HE DID SAY THAT. AND HE LATER TOLD ME OVER (VERY FLUSTERED) TEXT THAT HE DIDN'T MEAN TO SOUND SO MEAN AND HE WOULDN'T DO IT AGAIN AND I HAD TO WRANGLE MYSELF OUT OF SLEEPINESS TO TELL HIM THAT NO. NO. PLEASE KEEP SAYING THAT SHIT. BREAK THAT BREAD, 'CUS SHIT BUTTERS MY BISCUIT.

dude he's built like a fucking freight train. he kinda has a sleeper build i'm ngl but i literally TRIED arching up against him. SEVERAL times. and my ass was not going anywhere 😭😭 I WOULD'VE STAYED THERE IF I DIDN'T HAVE SHIT TO DO IN THE MORNING

yes yes yes!! we went over that in depth (like in Depth. that four hour phone call dedicated to talking out our feelings did not PLAY.) i know I'M a long term type even if i think that ring by spring thing is stupid as fuck, and so we both came to a general consensus of "i think you're cute/have thought so for a while (in his case), but i don't want to put a label on this too early when we're only starting to get to know each other, so for now i'd like to keep being Close Friends with you until we both know what we feel"

YOU'RE GETTING A FRONT ROW SEAT TO OUR WEDDING LMFAO watch me come to your asks one day like a couple months from now like "omi. i have SUCH bad news." ( <- turned out she was in loooove )

I KNOW I KNOWWWWWW life moves on 1.5x speed when you're an olba player fiending for an olba player... this shit gets serious fr! also I WILL BE UPDATING REGULARLY, although i admit i'm partial to the asks solely because now we have a lil audience 😖😖 but if something dm worthy arises then you will be the Very first to know!!!!

OH OH OH THAT REMINDS ME. SARO TEXTED ME A COUPLE MINUTES AFTER I WOKE UP AND ASKED IF I WANTED?? TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING WITH HIM AFTER CLASSES TOMORROW??? UM????? WHERE AM I RN. WHAT IS THIS.

god i hope this is providing good fuel for the cove x reader writers at least bc that's literally how this all started LMFAOOAODFJKDSJF

LMAOO WELL THATS GOOD!! also dw about the audience lol, anything you don't wanna share w everybody (or even me<3) is fine, so don't feel pressured! we've enjoyed the love saga very much so at least come back to tell us you're married with 7 kids and 19 cats 🤭

N YES THIS IS SUCH GOOD FUEL. YOU HAVE ENTERTAINED US AND TICKLED OUT WRITER BRAINS!!! I AM INVESTED!!! THANK YOU FOR SHARING WITH US 💞💞💞

also I will gladly attend your wedding LMAOOO I'll shop for my outfit now, cant be too prepared 🤭

[sukirichi]

Okay! Back on my phone battery died ahahha

Well you can say my resentment for her is big cause as a proud tooru fucker i went ahead and reread the first chapters to find this

This is from chapter 7 what basically summarize why tooru was always cold to her. I remember something more but i might be misremembering due to my hate lmfao but i always saw this as Tooru being forced fo marry someone he didnt love and ultimately have his 'freedom' stolen hence why he resented her so much and honestly made me resent her too ahahahha also the whole obsess theme playing again when he went to her room as kids and she had this huge ass painting of him hanging there...

Bruh i dunno i know im biased but i rereading old chapters and seeing how tooru is all soft to us and hates to be shackled to maiko just makes me want him to be happy 🥺 with us

Oh and also i would never EVER invite iris to my sanctuary like nah ah nope never bitch would sleeo at the beach outside, i would not let her step a foot inside my house after she KNOWINGLY fucked a married man

'but i was here first' he was still married and YOU DIDNT EVEN LOVE HIM

I would maybe feel a bit bad if she loved him like a tiny tiny bad still would hate her for the fact that it doesnt matter if she was there first HE WAS MARRIEDDDDDDD

But knowing she never even loved him 🙂🙃🤡

Also i have the feeling the whole 'lets be friends' bs is because she wants us to ultimately petty her since shes pregnant now like somehow she knows we can destroy her. Or her marriage with omi. I totally dont see her doing that out of the kindness of her heart. OR ACTUALLY she feeling pressure from the queen in some way since the queen wanted us to play friends with iris and well the queen can fuck iris up aswell.

But thank you iris for confirming rin does love us <3

Im just scared the iris kid will fuck rins head up.. And shes also been sickly and shit if this isnt grounds to manipulate rin.. After all she did manipulative him until now in a way.

I wanted to say something else about rin but i kinda forgot since im pissed dhdhahhajsj 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Thank you for the update! As usual love your writing and the first part really made me happy.. Made me imagine the trip to the house with rin very vividly 🥺

cackling at little maiko casually having a portrait of tooru in her room 😭 and yep the whole “forced” thing was how he feels towards their marriage. maiko and tooru were actually arranged by the queen to be married, although it isn’t really known or officially stated that it was arranged because they already knew each other since they were kids + it had been maiko’s fleeting thought that like, “oh, your majesty, i like tooru. it’d be wonderful if i could marry him.” just a silly little musing of a teenage girl, but the queen saw it as an opportunity that’d be good for the crown and presented the idea to tooru 😔 and at that time he needed the extra power and stability to be a more well-respected prince, so he went along with the marriage. and yes omg !! i do miss our tooruyn days… unfortunately, i had to scrap away the ideas I had for that because it was quite a popular demand to make him and maiko work out 🫡 I wasn’t opposed to that and I think it’d be great to focus more on omiyn <3 SO SORRY IF THAT WASN’T WHAT YOU LIKED BESTIE IK TOORU IS YOUR NUMBER ONE BUT I HAD TO DO IT FOR THE PLOT 😭🙏🏻

‘but I was here first’ nobody asked iris lmfAOOOO

and yep, iris asking to be friends was not done out of the kindness of her heart at all lol. i don’t even think she has any kindness in her heart… but she’s not doing it at all for rintaro lol. she’s trying to be on yn’s good side because she knows her marriage with omi is falling apart. for the five years they’ve been married, kiyoomi has always been neutral and uncaring – he knows iris is cheating on him, but he doesn’t care 😹 not once has kiyoomi shown that he plans on divorcing her. he just avoids her and acts like she doesn’t exist, and that’s fine enough for iris, as long as they’re married. but now that she’s pregnant with rin’s baby AND kiyoomi is having feelings for yn… yeah, iris is feeling anxious. we’ll see though what she’ll do with her pregnancy!!

and aww thank you so much, I’m so happy you enjoyed the latest update! I HOPE YOU KNOW that I always appreciate you taking the time to read and send in all your thoughts, they make me super happy and warm knowing you’re so supportive. SO THANK YOU BESTIE SENDING YOU LOTS OF LOVEE 💫🌷💕

[wackymaci]

PRESENTING.,,, A FULLY CANON CONVO: “ChalBel looks for loki (lmfao)/ and RETURNS HIM”

hey what if…. I just post the entire thing.

hm :)c (yes that’s the formal archive title^)

QUICK NOTES BEFORE YOU READ ALL THIS🥹

1. SEND A MINDREADER AFTER THE GOD OF LIES????? god it should have ALWAYS been set to happen this way!!

2. Once upon a time I said that i feel bad for never wholly portraying Bel in my art and posts due to the fact that Bel’s moments are usually up against Chal, who’s a chaotic mess, and so Bel always seems really calm and stoic when compared to her. THIS conversation is the most perfect, perfect, peak Bel showcase completely. please view the MOST Married Couple of All Time, they are SOOOO

3. a special thank you (as ALWAYS) to fenixe (who is not even here fgkFGK) - as we all know, fenixe and I never PLAN anything OoC together and even when shit happens we’re never conferencing about , like. intention. so for her to SO COMPLETELY AND ACCURATELY clock exactly what Loki’s doing (through Bel, mindreader!!) is so,, chefs kiss. THE ELYSIUM HIVEMIND??? We don’t OoC conference because we don’t NEED TOOOO LMAOOO-

4. Format is in fact spacier and slightly weird due to just being a full copypaste of the thread. I’m actually not going to post this as screenshots cause it is SOOOOOOOOOO LONG and. I can’t decide where to cut and paste. so… so!! hghhh this is why I do screenshots cause *i* hate when it’s formatted like this but whateverrrrrrr I’ll get over it. that being said I went ahead and bolded names idk if that’s easier to read or???

5. Obviously don’t reblog this lol

6. pls enjoy. HHHHHHGHHG-

~*~

Chal: -curled with Bel-

Libby: -wanders to-

Chal: Hi. How was your cult meeting?

Libby: Um, it was good…

Bel: -quiet- -petting Chal-

Libby: Can you go look for Loki for us?

Chal: …Who, me?

Libby: Uh-huh.

Chal: …Me specifically? What? Why?

Bel: I’ll go with you.

Chal: -glances between- Wh— huh? How is that my fucking job?

Libby: -flutters wings- We think Loki may be hiding in the pocket voids around here��no one else really knows how to get to them, so…

Chal: What do you mean he’s hiding?

Libby: ‘Cause the baby, and…

Chal: What do you mean the baby?

Bel: He’s pregnant.

Chal: He’s pregnant?

Libby: Yeah, so he ran away. We’re trying to find him, he.

Libby: -small voice- He um, Tory and Maci are really upset. Well, everyone’s really upset.

Chal: The fuck do Tory and Maci care?

Libby: Um…

Bel: Tory’s the other parent.

Chal: …Is he hiding from Maci?

Bel: I don’t think so? They’re on good terms now.

Chal: What am I supposed to do if I find him?

Libby: Bring him home.

Chal: -scoffs- He’s not gonna fucking listen to me.

Bel: If he doesn’t listen, should we call you?

Libby: Uh-huh. Me, or… Rane’s always in charge, or maybe Fen…

Chal: Whoa whoa whoa what if he flips out at me? What if he fucking turns me into a baby again?!

Bel: I’ll poof you away if I hear him thinking about it.

Libby: Please, Chal? He’s my mom, and no one else knows knows how to get into the voids.

Chal: Maybe I don’t even fucking know how to get into those anymore, it’s been a long fucking time since…

Libby: Chal pleeee-ase.

Chal: -frowns- -quiet-

Chal: -mumbles- Okay fine.

Bel: -takes Chal’s hand-

Libby: -hugs Chal- Thank you thank you.

Chal: -mumbles- Whatever.

Chal: -squeezes Bel’s hand- -poofs with-

Bel: -laces fingers-

Chal: What’s the fucking plan here? Should we have come up with a plan? What the fuck are I supposed to say if we actually find him?

Chal: This is so stupid. These things are like, all over the place. There’s so many of them and they all look the same. I don’t have a map. Only Loki has a map, maybe.

Bel: I guess just, say that his kids want him to come home?

Chal: -runs hands over face- Gods fuck oh my gods fuck. Yeah, ‘cause we’re gonna be the ones he’s gonna be thrilled to see. Fuck me oh my gods fuck this.

Chal: -curls wings- -sighs- …Well, he’s not in this one.

Bel: -looking around- How many of these are there?

Chal: Yeah, that’s the other thing— I have no idea. Tens? Hundreds? Thousands?

Chal: -poofs with-

Chal: …Probably not thousands. That seems like a lot.

Bel: I guess we’ll keep looking?

Chal: -small nod-

Chal: They’re not even nice to be in, they’re empty, they’re unsettling. Like accidentally ending up behind the fucking scenes or something.

Chal: -sighs- How long has Loki even been hiding for?

Bel: I’m not sure. I didn’t hear it.

Chal: But you heard Libby’s meeting? Did they all offer me up as sacrifice to Loki’s rage?

Bel: -shakes head- They wanted your help because you can navigate these places.

Bel: -pauses-

Bel: And they wanted me with you to do the talking if we find him.

Chal: …Oh. That makes more sense, he might listen to you. Definitely not me.

Chal: -poofs with-

Chal: What if he turns you into a baby?

Bel: I’ll, um.

Bel: I’ll try not to let it go there.

Chal: -stops- …Loki used to— Loki was a fucking, supervillain. Isn’t Loki fucking dangerous? Is this dangerous?

Chal: Is he going crazy in a fit of fucking rage? What if we have to fight him?

Chal: I, I can’t win against him in a fight. I don’t even know if I know how to fight anymore and I can’t do magic.

Bel: He hasn’t been overtly malicious in a long while.

Chal: Maybe he turned “overtly malicious” while he was running away. Maybe he’s gonna be in a real overtly malicious fucking mood about me and you trying to talk to him. Um, you trying to talk to him.

Bel: Still, it’s… We got asked to look for him by his kids. It’s important we try.

Chal: -mumbles- We don’t have to… Ugh, I guess.

Chal: You knew he was gonna have a baby…?

Bel: -nods- I heard it, but he didn’t want me to tell anyone.

Chal: Oh, shit.

Chal: -poofs with- -looking around-

Chal: And no one else knew? For like, a long fucking time?

Bel: No one but Tory and Maci, I guess.

Chal: -gives look- …And you and Ty.

Bel: Not on purpose.

Chal: Hmph.

Chal: How long am I supposed to keep going through the voids for? What if he’s not even in any of these? We could be here fucking forever. Who’s gonna put N to bed?

Bel: I guess when we need to put N to bed, we can stop.

Chal: -sulks- And then just, back at it tomorrow and every fucking day forever?

Chal: What if he hides for nine months?

Bel: If it’s too much labor, well…

Bel: We do have a daughter to take care of.

Chal: Right. Exactly, yeah. We do. I’m not taking N into the voids, so…

Chal: …-quieter- Is, um. Is Libby really upset?

Bel: She’s worried, mostly.

Chal: -sighs-

Chal: -mumbles- I’m sure Loki would probably come back on his own eventually…

Bel: Probably, but…

Bel: Well, he’s at risk for complications. If he’s not able to use his magic or get help…

Chal: Oh… Oh, that’s…

Chal: -frowns- Why… why’d he fucking leave then?

Bel: I don’t know.

Bel: Habit, or nerves?

Chal: -squints- That doesn’t make any sense. If he’s nervous about complications why banish himself to the fucking, middle of nowhere where no one can even get to him?

Chal: …Does Loki have anxiety?

Bel: -nods- A ton of it, actually.

Chal: -stops- Huh. …Seriously?

Bel: Yeah.

Chal: He could try therapy. He made me fucking do it.

Bel: -small smile- Maybe when he’s back home, you can suggest it.

Chal: Yeah, right. If he’s not mad enough at me for trying to find him, then that’ll do it for fucking sure…

Bel: -quiet-

Chal: -squeezes hand- -mumbles- This is so stupid. I mean, he could be in any of these. He could even be anywhere.

Bel: -soft sigh-

Chal: -poofs with-

Chal: Maybe he’s not even in here at all. Who said he was hiding here in the first place? If no one knows how to get in then how—

Loki: -looks at-

Chal: -stops short-

Bel: Oh—

Chal: -stutters- Oh, fuck—

Loki: -raises eyebrow- -faintly- Interesting.

Loki: -gestures to poof-

Bel: Wait!

Loki: -snarls- What.

Bel: You—

Bel: -runs hands over face- Ugh.

Chal: …Holy fuck you’re really fucking pregnant—

Loki: -eyeroll- -poofs-

Bel: Aaaaagh fuck you fuck you come back.

Chal: -sputters- That is SO pregnant! What happens if he has a baby in here?! Do you know how to deliver a baby?!

Chal: -clutches at- What if we find him again and he’s having a baby?

Bel: I-I mean, he knows how, so I could read his mind and figure it out…

Chal: I don’t—

Chal: -small noise- -poofs with-

Chal: -spins all around- -deflates- Fuck, fuck, it’s empty.

Bel: Maybe he’s still close?

Chal: Okay. Okay.

Chal: Okay if we find him again what do we do.

Bel: I’ll try to talk to him.

Bel: Like, actually talk.

Chal: Okay, fuck, okay.

Chal: Okay, lemme— -poofs with-

Chal: -frustrated groan- -poofs again-

Chal: -goes to poof- …. -freezes- Oh—

Loki: -sighs- -dryly- Oh, you’re after me, is that it? Here I thought I might be interrupting date night.

Bel: Shitokayokay—

Bel: Look, your children asked us to help find you.

Bel: They want you home.

Loki: -face falls slightly- -tucks arm around belly- -composes self-

Loki: Well, you can let them know you’ve found me. That I’m quite well. That I love them dearly.

Loki: …-frowns- That I don’t want to return, which they ought to know.

Bel: Why??

Bel: Everyone — Tory, Maci, your family, they’re upset.

Bel: They miss you.

Loki: -swallows hard- -petting belly-

Loki: Ah, well. You see, it’s simply because—

Loki: -gives look- -poofs-

Bel: WAIT—

Chal: NO!

Chal: -fidgets- D-do we keep going or pass a message?

Bel: Keep going!

Bel: All the fucking teleporting is making me nauseous, it’s fucking personal now, just go!

Chal: -scrambles- -poofs-

Loki: Don’t you have better things to do?

Chal: -startles- Oh shit, there you— Do the voids all go in— order?

Loki: Would you like a map? Would that be easier for you?

Bel: Oh my gods, just fucking listen!

Bel: Why are you even here? You know full well you’re just making yourself worse being all alone; what happened to not up and disappearing for this child?

Loki: -witty retort dies- -falters slightly-

Bel: And your kids figured out what’s wrong on their own — I didn’t tell anyone — because you always. fucking. do this.

Chal: -clutching Bel- -staring between-

Loki: None of this concerns you. Neither of you.

Chal: Bullshit, Libby misses you too.

Bel: Yeah, it does! My sister-in-law’s missing her fucking dad.

Loki: -evenly- I believe I’m designated Libby’s mother, thank you very much.

Bel: Ohmygods, it’s semantics.

Loki: -waves hand- I’ll return eventually. My children can come to me. When there aren’t search parties I can— they know this. They know I’ll always…

Bel: Fucking hell, they’re worried you’re gonna get hurt.

Bel: Wasn’t that the whole point of staying home? You’ve got support if something happens?

Bel: Fucking off to a hidey-void is familiar, I get it, but it’s not safer.

Loki: I won’t be hurt.

Loki: -glaring daggers- And it feels safer.

Loki: I don’t need support, this endless charade. I can handle myself, myself. I j-just— I just need time to— -falters-

Loki: -swallows- -viciously- Being chased through liminal spaces isn’t helpful, either.

Bel: Time to what? Sabotage your relationships because they can’t abandon you if you do it first, on your terms?

Loki: -breath hitches- -visible flinch-

Loki: -snarls- -POOFS-

Chal: -coughs- The dramatic smoke wasn’t necessary, can you not piss him off into exploding—

Bel: -yelling- GO TO FUCKING THERAPY.

Chal: -poofs with-

Loki: Now you’re really starting to irritate me.

Bel: You’re irritated? I’m irritated!

Loki: You’re welcome to leave!

Bel: I’m not done yelling at you!

Bel: Tory thinks he’s done something wrong and who’s gotta listen to his head? Me!

Loki: -pales slightly- —Gods I told him it wasn’t personal, th-that none of this would be…

Bel: You’re fairly well known for lying.

Loki: -sneers- Well, then there’s what happened for “not up and disappearing with this child,” your answer in turn.

Bel: Bullshit, I know this is your other bit: you’re also well-known for acquiring nice situations, getting nervous about something happening to the nice situation, and then you create a catastrophe because if the nice thing you have is gonna go up in flames, at least it’s on your terms.

Bel: How will you know if people give a shit about you if you never give them a chance?

Loki: -opens mouth- -closes-

Loki: -blinking furious tears- -poofs-

Chal: -breathless- I think you’re fucking winning, -poofs after-

Loki: -frustrated groan- This seems like all just a lot of fuss for no reason.

Loki: They’ve others to occupy their time— They can fuck the clones, if they’re so deprived. Tell them I said so.

Chal: Aagh, gods.

Bel: What do you mean, no reason? Your children want you home, Tory and Maci want you home, Rane’s made a fucking council to figure out where you went.

Loki: Rane’s always making councils, it’s her favorite hobby.

Chal: You keep swerving around all the fucking subjects.

Loki: -glares at- -icily- No reason, as my children can come and go to find me as they see fit, for visits if they wish. All these theatrics, sprung upon me before I’d a chance to find them. Tory and Maci—

Loki: -voice wobbles slightly- …Are f… furious, I’m sure, and I won’t return to be in the line of fire.

Loki: And Rane just likes gathering councils. There, all your subjects.

Bel: I’m not stupid. You think Tory and Maci will blow up if you come back?

Bel: Your children don’t even know where you are; it’s why we found you.

Bel: Everyone misses you and wants you safe. Go home.

Loki: You must understand this was all very impromptu. I didn’t mean… I didn’t… I would have sent for my children, I didn’t get a chance to— I’d never leave them—

Loki: I-In the meantime, Maci and Tory will find another fifty things to be angry about beyond myself and the turmoil I’ve caused; eventually I can fall further from out of their graces and into irrelevance, I— I’ll return when tempers are cooled, once they’ve moved on.

Bel: Tempers never went off! They’re worried, not angry. You’re creating scenarios in your head, and that’s the only place they exist.

Bel: If you care about them at all, you’ll cut it out with the borderline behavior and stop sabotaging the relationship you built.

Loki: -hugging belly- -stares away from-

Loki: You’re utterly naive if you think I could just, what, waltz back? Popped out for a quick break? Pretend it never happened, fall back to— the normalcy that— the way I— we’d—

Loki: And say it does and I dissolve into panic again and—

Loki: —Oh for gods’ sake, might we all sit in a circle and discuss our feelings here? Might we all be better off? Begone with this. Let me be.

Bel: You literally can. Just go back.

Loki: I won’t. I won’t return to collapse again— and again, again. They ought to have known what they’d— I’d warned them. Their own stupidity if they’d chosen bare optimism instead.

Loki: -sneers- And you can pass that message along, as well. -goes to poof-

Loki: -green fizzles- -goes nowhere-

Chal: -startles- …O-oh, shit…?

Loki: …-closes eyes- -SIGHS-

Bel: Out of juice?

Loki: -withering glare- -yes-

Chal: -holds out panicky hands- Are you gonna— have the, fucking baby?

Loki: …No, Chal.

Bel: It’s fucking with his magic.

Loki: -snaps at- Perhaps it’s merely a side effect of hauling myself and a large, developing mystery, to travel rapidfire across many, many difficult to reach pockets in succession.

Loki: I was quite comfortable where you’d found me. Quiet. Alone, peaceful. A bed that wasn’t sweltering, no impossible expectations looming over my head. Functioning magic, m-mostly. Here we are, a million voids later.

Chal: Shit, it is fucking with you? You look all— sweaty.

Loki: Just go away.

Bel: Fine, it’s not like I have much else to say to you—

Bel: -lunges for Loki- -poofs with-

Loki: -struggles away from- -PREGNANT AND AWKWARD- -snarling- How DARE you, you’ll pay for this I swear it—

Chal: -yelling- No the fuck he won’t, he’s fucking helping your stupid ass anyway!

Bel: -poofs back to palace-

Loki: -crumples to knees- -trying not to cry-

Loki: -folds over belly-

Libby: -gasps- You actually found—?!

Bel: Yeah, somehow.

Bel: Also fuck him, he kept teleporting from pocket to pocket.

Chal: I-I think we’re all dizzy and nauseous, really fucking fun, fucking asshole—

Libby: Are you okay?! Are you— -kneels to Loki- A-are you, okay, the baby…?

Loki: -hangs head- The baby’s okay, I…

Loki: -tears streaming- -whispers- Please don’t call your siblings, they shouldn’t s-see me in this state.

Loki: You won, let me be.

Libby: I…

Chal: -beseeches Tory-

Tory: -poofs-

Chal: -points-

Tory: -pauses-

Loki: -hunches into ball- -choked sob-

Libby: -hovers- The, the baby’s okay, he said…

Tory: -quiet- -pets Chal’s shoulder-

Chal: -stumbles back against Tory- S, sorry I don’t know if I— maybe I shouldn’t have called you if, b-but he said not the kids and Bel and me already spent too much time fucking yelling at him in the voids and I don’t, uhh…

Tory: -kisses top of head- You did really good.

Chal: -beams slightly- Bel did better.

Tory: You’re a team.

Chal: -BEAMS MORE- -squeezes Bel’s hand-

Chal: Please don’t let him fucking kill us.

Tory: -crouches by Loki-

Loki: -sobbing in heap- -trembling-

Tory: -pets-

Loki: -coughs- -sobs-

Chal: -inches closer to Bel- H-his um, he couldn’t teleport… Maybe the baby, we dunno.

Tory: -squeezes Loki’s shoulder- Stand up.

Loki: -tears streaming- -sniffling- -shakes head-

Loki: …-struggles up anyway- -holding belly-

Loki: -can’t look at-

Tory: -hugs Loki-

Loki: -stiffens- … -sobs- -crumples into-

Tory: -rubbing back-

Loki: -trembling-

Libby: I-I um, I’ll tell everyone that he… I-I’ll tell them to see you tomorrow, if…

Libby: You’re… staying, right? You’re not leaving again tomorrow?

Loki: -small voice- -hoarse- I’ll b-be here.

Tory: -brushes hair out of face-

Loki: -small sob- -stares into floor-

Tory: You’re okay?

Loki: -shakes head-

Tory: Do you want to sit down?

Loki: -wobbly nod- -not looking at-

Chal: -like watching a trainwreck- -backs away-

Chal: -so awkward- Do you— you can— have our room if, we’ll all go s-someplace else if you, have to cry on the floor or, something.

Tory: -guides Loki to couch- I’ll take care of him.

Chal: -nodnodnod- -grabs Bel/Libby- -mutters- I need to fucking lie down. We’re walking to bed, I’m teleporting zero more times tonight.

~*~

aaaaand..,,, scene

thanks for reading<3 yknow…. I hope posting these threads (pieces, whole parts) provides some insight into why I’m the way I am with elysium lmfao

AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

[kerink]

I always forget that Cecil and Carlos... Didn't know each other really before they started dating.

i know lmfao

it's really not clear how much they spoke before e25-27. during s1 we can assume cecil told us every time he and carlos talked because he hasn't worked on his boundaries yet, but cecil also broadcasts nightly we just only hear it twice a month. so there's def room for them to have had more interaction than we know about, but based on how carlos acted during those phone calls it's likely they were work related only with maybe a few slip ups where they got talking and by the time carlos caught himself hours had passed. i think that's realistic for humans who have crushes on each other and also within their characters. but they def weren't friends before dating, likely just friendly

which is fine, humans literally do that all the time! nothing weird about that

what really fucks me up is how quickly they moved in their relationship. a year of flirting and pussyfooting around before dating? okay that's normal. but then condos first aired around e31 and became publicly available after e36... you're telling me you guys moved in together after dating for 1-2 months?? and sure okay they got married after about 3 years, but one of those years carlos was in another dimension so it wasn't even consecutive years

yeah yeah the power of love and commitment and making things work and finding the one, i hear you, but it still has me like boys come on /lh

anyway, this is one of the reasons why s1 is my fav for transformative works, i love thinking about how their relationship could have been blossoming while carlos tries to adjust to his new life, while undergoing constant threat, while trying to figure out if cecils human and if it's ethical to date him or not. i just think the chaste flirting awkward terrified day-to-day interactions are really fun to explore and leave a lot of room in the sandbox

[honelle56]

unfiltered thoughts on ttpd

I just finished my first listen of TTPD so below you can find my first thoughts on each song as I listened at 6 in the morning (I need sleep so bad lmao)

1. Fortnight

AAAAHHH I AM LISTENING!!!!! This has such Lana vibes omg!

Who do we wanna murder now??

I love you it's ruining my life :(

IS THIS ABOUT MATTY???????????

Is Post Malone getting the female singer treatment hahahahah

oh okay there he is!!

Florida mention!!!!!

2. The Tortured Poets Department

Woah I like this beat!!!

No-fucking-body!!!!

Dream mention????? (golden retriever)

This is so pretty

Wait is this about Travis??? I am so confused. Please tell me this isn't about Matty too

Oh the wedding mention

3. My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

Put me back on the shelf :(

Love the melodies

THE OUTRE THE OUTRO LOVE THISSSS

WHY IS THIS SO SAD FUCK ME

4. Down Bad

I can't do this IT IS SO SAD

"Fuck it if I can't have him"

hahaha

Is this another Matty track........ I can't do this

So fuck you if I can't have us :((((

5. So Long, London

Are we in a church

Jesus fuck why is this so sad

this is so beautiful

I am crying

I sent my full reaction to this song to @bluishfrog and it's basically just me looking at the lyrics while crying lmfao

6. But Daddy I Love Him

This one is about Matty again huh

I need a dictionary

I fuck with this song so bad

7. Fresh Out The Slammer

my first word was "Woah"

Back to cheating

"Years of labor, locks and ceilings In the shade of how he was feeling"

Outch

Oh god this one is hard - this sounds like end of relationship stuff

"Watched me daily disappearing For just one glimpse of his smile"

:((((

So many outros, I really fuck with this

Imaginary rings what if I go die

8. Florida!!!

she cheated too????

omg an actual feature with a female artist!!! We love!!!

I did not think this song would be about murder and drugs lmfao

Sorry I got lost in the dnf-isms, loved the song

9. Guilty as Sin?

I will have to come back to this, I am so tired I just completely zoned out xD

Love the vibes tho

It's a bop ngl

10. Who's Afraid of Little Old Me

Oh I will love this

FUCK IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL

THE CHORUS WOW WOW WOW

THIS IS SO GOOD

This is so my favourite so far

Okay so we are in an asylum lmao

"Put narcotics into all of my songs And that's why you're still singing along"

this is genius

THIS SONG IS AWESOME

11. I Can Fix Him

love the vibes

god her lower register help me

THE ENDING I AM CACKLING THIS IS SONGWRITING PERFECTION (also thanks Taylor for coming to your senses lmfao)

12. loml

this sounds sad..............

Every mention of getting married makes we want to committ

Never quite married FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK HIM

I don't wanna do this anymore

"And all at once, the ink bleeds"

all the songs they wrote together I am...... not fine

"You shit-talked me under the table Talking rings and talking cradles I wish I could unrecall How we almost had it all"

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

this bridge broke me

the loss of my life I-

13. I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

What a bleachers sounding song

okay so this is definitely what we thought it would be about

"Lights, camera, bitch, smile Even when you wanna die"

you go girl

A BOP

i am crying and dancing in my bed

"He said he'd love me for all time But that time was quite short"

FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK HIM

okay time to dance again

"I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day"

she's so silly

the ad-libs I love her so much

14. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

not the breath - i wanted to keep dancing :(

"And I don't even want you back, I just want to know If rusting my sparkling summer was the goal"

ughhhhhh

the lower register hitting again

BRIDGE BRIDGE BRIDGE AND WHAT A BRIDGE

oh she is angry agnry

"I would've died for your sins Instead I just died inside"

WHY WHY WHY

FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK HIM

15. The Alchemy

I zoned again lmao

IS THIS ABOUT TRAVIS??????

WHO CHEERED

love this for her

16. Clara Bow

"You look like Taylor Swift In this light, we're loving it You've got edge, she never did The future's bright, dazzling"

oh how I love this, she is such a genius

[figula]

ok im gonna just talk about it anyway :D

he announced earlier that next year he's gonna push me more, and i was like ? wat? why? and he was like i think we're both undersocialised atm and i was quite annoyed by this and also a bit hurt bc i feel like that's more untrue in the past 6 months thn it's been sice the pandemic (and maybe before - bc most of our friends now are people from discord we ended up becoming irl friends with)

maybe *you* feel undersocialised ben but *i* actually find basically all social activities something to endure rather than enjoy

also don't forget that ana is my soulmate and I feel very happy just hanging out with them and Ben

i feel like he has still this shark feeling of gotta keep moving or ill die :) like he is doing much better than he was from sept-nov but yeah i think he doesnt need to make that an Us problem lol like i dont share that feeling at all lol like if you want to do more things than i do you can do some stuff separately, and some stuff with me! as is normal!

i did feel quite frustratedand annoyed with the way he brought it up , which he did apologise for later bc he agreed we're doing the right things etc and he didnt really mean he wants to push me MORE just that he doesnt want to BACKSLIDE. which is fine i guess but it was a bit annoying to hear anyway bc i am not planningon going intoi a big isolationist hole

like the implication that next year some REAL change is gonna happen and totally ignoring the fact that we got married a few months ago (objectively the biggest social event either of us have ever done), that we hung out with Boops and yuka at an art installation, that we've had clare over a bunch of times, that we've had boops over, that he's done a few irl dnd sessions w/ lucas clare boops, that we've been ice skating a few times, that we've done escape rooms together, that we've done some family trips, we did that ceramics class, we've done a LOT of pokemon walks - all of this in teh past 2 or 3 months apart from the wedding - im just like god damn how much stuff do i have to do to satisfy you lol like i simply dont find the same kind of drive to Do Things that he has and I have still done all this shit REGARDLESS

i was also annoyed i think by the implication that he's the one who needs to push me when actually half of the above shit was my idea!!! the ice skating was me! the wedding was my idea! the escape rooms were my idea! i was the one who restarted teh pokemon go! i was the one who created the server in the first place, where he found his friends!!!! these are all my friends i let him share!!! i was the one who arranged the halloween party w/ boops and clare literally bc he was so sad i wanted to do something nice for him

i do read him charitably - as i legit think is important to do in all relationships with someone you like and respect on a very basic level lol - and i dont think he meant to suggest that im massively inadequate lmfao (i mean - i know he didnt) and he apologised for coming in too hard about stuff, and i know he's traumatised by covid (who isnt?) and is terrified of going back into that tiny world where it was just us and we didnt see anyone else for 2y. but that's not on the cards anyway so i felt a bit wrongfooted by the whole talk

also i was so cross i went mute and under my blankets until he sort of to put it bluntly fucked me back into communication lmfao !! me hissing "im cross with you" while he was actively fucking me </3 looool (this is 100%% fine by the way, just for the record, i was way less annopyed by the sex than the conversation, the sex cheered me up even and it was the right move)

anyway whatever. i think we're actually on the same page in terms of not wanting a particularly quiet 2024 (we're planning on going to Iceland in the winter and also there will be a chess meetup abroad somewhere) so we move. i was just annoyed by how he framed it but he did apologise anyway and i know he didnt really mean anything!! but it was annoying lol like omg I try sooo hard. so fucking hard!!!

ETA: fucking. also. he wasn't even making ANY comment on this stuff and he's fully been my biggest cheerleader lol but I've also been so busy work-wise (my "chess career" is reaching new heights after all) and taking care of him these past few months and doing my doll job as well I think I just want someone to be like omg cham you are actually soooo impressive I'm soooo obsessed with you !!! don't worry you don't need to find anything else inside you you are doing sooooo well!!! (Ben is actually usually like this but I want him to say it now as well) like I've been working on job stuff AS WELL AS doing loads more shit with him lately and I feel like I should get extra credit for that

all this to say that this would be a good time to send me a message with how great you think i am. lol

[autobot-ratchet]

Drift: Empire of Stone

Empire of Stone 1

okay now jump to the present. Honestly, love that Drift is out here not knowing what the fuck to do with himself but at least trying his best to do good in the meantime. Like, he could've gone back to Cybertron but god knows he feels like he's ruined all his chances with all sides of the Cybertronian populace, so drifting it is

love that Drift is simply better than Grit lmAO he's come a long way from getting tossed around by Wing

“be shoosh,” he says. Shut up nerd lmAO

RATCHEEEEETTTT HIIIII, HI RATCHET ❤️❤️❤️ KICKS MY GAY LITTLE FEET

“When's the last time you went in for repairs?” “The shuttle's fine.” “I wasn't talking about the shuttle.” ehehehehehe

“I like being out here, doing this,” he lied, trying too hard to look cool in front of his crush

sorry I went and said that as a joke and then I remembered that they get canon married so that's like. Actually not a joke lmfAO Ratchet actually is his crush and I still even now am fucking floored by that

gfdsjka love Grit's comrades being like “ooh, ooh, I'll rat!” “I'll rat as well, please”

“There's no point in living if you have to sacrifice everything you are to do it.” hell yeah

Empire of Stone 2

honestly I kinda like that we're facing the consequences of Drift's past actions as Deadlock in a way other than “someone wants to kill him for either defecting or for something he did as Deadlock”

also love that Drift folds immediately once Gigatron starts even mildly hurting Ratchet, gayass

“Decepticons don't slaughter their own kind for no good reason at all.” they like. Extremely do lmfAO there's an entire Justice Division that is known by literally all Cybertronians for doing exactly that but go off

gfjhdjks I will admit the humor in this miniseries is really hit or miss, but the jokes that hit are still so good, love Ratchet's attempt to escape jail by having Drift play dead and how it does not even slightly work

“You've got your own issues, I get it, don't put 'em on me.” Yeah, I bet Drift does see a lot of Deadlock in Grit, especially with how much faith he has in the Decepticon cause

Love Ratchet not taking one more second of Drift's self-sacrificing heroics. “Did kicking you out of the Autobots really have this much of an impact on you?” is a fucking excellent question to ask him. I don't think it was any kind of special attachment to the Autobot cause that made his exile hurt this much, but more just him being rejected by a community he was almost starting to finally belong in. Like if the Circle of Light had kicked him out, it would've made him just as much of a mess

Empire of Stone 3

I was gonna make a joke about Hellbat embarrassing Drift in front of Ratchet by bringing up something awful he did as Deadlock but it actually is really sweet how that doesn't deter Ratchet from bringing him back to the Lost Light at all. He knows damn well what Drift has done and he's already come to his own conclusion, thank you very much

love this fuckin panel so much :')

I did not have a lot to say about this issue but honestly that's because I don't have a lot to say about the whole conflict what with Hellbat using the stone army to kill everything ever because I do not care lmAO I'm here for Drift and Ratchet and maybe a little Grit, he's pretty good

Empire of Stone 4

maneuver seven is just tossing a bitch

hell yeah, Drift, you assert that self worth

I'll be honest, I have not given a single shit about Hellbat or Gigatron this whole time, but there is something about their inability to move on from the war, their choice to kill and die in battle for the sake of it, not even for any cause, just killing and dying because it's all they can do. Drift was close to falling into that same trap, flying around and defeating rogue Decepticons because fighting is all he can do, but Ratchet's presence and Wing's memory helped him finally move on and let himself start to be something else

yeah this is kinda what I mean when I say the humor is really hit or miss lmAO this was a really good moment for Drift, finally realizing his worth as a person and I really wish it wasn't met with “that's pretty stupid.” Like I get that Ratchet was just jabbing, but like. You couldn't have had him say “it's about damn time” or something??? he's been waiting for Drift to have this realization for four million years, come on lmAO

good for Grit for moving on, too. Shame he never shows up again, at least not that I remember lmfAO I know for sure he's not in MTMTE or Lost Light, maybe he showed back up in another series and I just don't remember

[fandom-hoarder]

Starting walker finale...

Cordi, running the blender on speaker??

Oh god ptsd

Lmfao screaming at august jfc. What a dad thing

Hug🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Poor cordi. Everyone has a distance about him having been MIA :/ Is this gonna continue

Ok bonham, like I'm glad you're saying you're gonna help but if she wants to learn will you fucking teach her? It's frustrating af when your partner says they'll teach you their skill and then they're just like 'i did it for you'🙃🙃🙃

"Geri-science was a winner. Your sleepytime remedy worked like a charm." CASSIE, DID THAT SLEEPYTIME REMEDY INVOLVE GERI'S TONGUE IN YOUR PUSSY?

"How's Walker?"

"He's... fine. He has his people."

Ok, first of all, DOES he? And are you not one of those people, Geri? Lololol have you been withholding yourself from Walker for CASSIE? 👀👀👀👀👀👀 INTERESTING

Goddammittttttt I've paused too many times and I'm not allowed to have captions anymore. Every FUCKING time. The one good thing about walker ending is NEVER HAVING TO USE THIS GODFORSAKEN APP AGAIN

Omg PLEASE i can't understand what he's saying with Abby on the porch. I've rewatched it 4 times with the volume up.

"Having trouble tellin up from down sometimes " maybe??

I have the volume on 50 💀 i hate the way the app takes captions from me just cuz i pause a lot

PEREZ SIBLINGS FUCK YEAH

Ok stop, I can't help thinking right now about luna's dick friend. Is he gonna show up again, or was that JUST so the "i love her" could happen

God the family casting on this show all around is on point

Lmfao ooh here comes a stellacordi scene

"Felt like a total weirdo walking down the hall"

"That is probably a healthy reaction for an adult man to have."

OK BUT HE'S YOUR DAD?? LOLOLOL PARENTS DO COME THERE😂😂😂😂😂 UNLESS HES ALREADY FEELING SUSPICIOUSSS👀👀👀

THIS DIALOGUE IS FOR US ISTG

HAND ON KNEE

"He just needs you to be there. That was all I wanted. " 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

Aaaah facing each other, knees together, hand on knee

"If you get anything from me-'" (pause---it'll be a baby😂😂😂)

HOLDING HIS HAND

"There's no version where you being gone is better. That'd just be a different type of pain. I still need my dad." 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Stella saying she doesn't need an apology 🥺🥺🥺🥺 fucking finally someone

HUGGGGG

Chin on her head, arms grasped around her!

Istg they're looking at my tumblr lmfao

...is trey gonna get the job👀 cassie's chances don't look great after that...

Cordell/Geri scene... I fucking. Knew. He would be like "i want to keep you happy" like. What about YOU, Cordi? What about the way Geri also hasn't been there for YOU? What about her flippant fucking attitude about things? What about the way you have always been all-in on declaring commitment when she has always been scared of commitment? Why is it painted like he's always the one at fault. I am going MAD

GERI WTF??? SO YOU HAD GRIEF HE DIDN'T KNOW HAD EVEN COME UP AND HE "wasn't there" because of his case and BEING FUCKING KIDNAPPED AND ALMOST KILLED. Like sure he wasn't there but why are you saying it like he mistreated you or ignored your pain??????

I want to smack this woman

Fucking patronizing mom voice

I feel like everyone is pressuring him to have to quit being a ranger. HE'S WALKER, TEXAS RANGER

Does he need work-life balance and therapy? YES. Does he need people holding him at a distance because he cares about being a ranger? NO

Feels like walking on fucking eggshells when she mom-hugs him and he hugs back.

STELLA GAVE YOU BETTER

And obvs it's not like i believe in canon stellacordi so obvs I'm not saying marry your daughter instead, but like. The difference is STARK

Like it's fine to wanna do your thing but you gotta stop stringing people along!!! From the beginning, he's always been all-in, wanting to tell everyone and make it official, yet somehow the narrative tries to tell us HE'S been the uncommitted one. WHAT???

Being distracted with a bad law enforcement case and wanting to protect your family from the details is NOT THE SAME as not being committed to a relationship. And if he's been a bad partner, SO HAS SHE.

She's either ignored or not even noticed VERY CLEAR SIGNS that he was not ok

I haaaaate her lmfao

Omg cassie got the job!!!

Omfg are you fucking serious. Started this Larry/James scene with captions, haven't paused at all, and suddenly after "yeah it's the spot" the captions just STOPPED🙃🙃🙃 worst app fucking ever

"Kelly has someone she'd like to hook you up with" it feels like trey has been fielding a lot of this this season lol. I don't see trey/cassie as romantic, but it did sort of feel like the season could end that way because of trey's none ships and friendship w cassie

Why, when he says "a family vacation" do they all go like "no, you don't have to" i want to smack all y'all wtf??? THIS MAN HAS LITERALLY BEEN TRYING TO SPEND TIME WITH HIS FAMILY AND BEING TOLD HE'S NOT AROUND BUT HE IS *TRYING TO BE* GODDDDDD I AM GONNA START BITING!!

"And if that answer is yes, how would you feel about inviting Geri?" Bleh, don't. I hope she can't go lmfao

August Edward Walker!!

The fact that they spell augie like auggie!! Should i change my fics??😂😂😂😂😂

Music suddenly too loud on 50 lol

Lmfaooo the twilight convo. "Clearly team jacob" *liam looks totally vindicated and enamored* "THANK YOU" 😂😂

It's honestly hard for me to ship liam with anyone else now cuz he and ben are so cute😅😅😅

CORDELL DANCING HELP HE'S SO CUUUTE

"I struggled with how to let go, and I realized...it happened. And I-I have to let it happen" heart hurt. It's hard being a parent of grown children 😭😭😭 you really do have to realize it happened. They grew up.

Hahhh I'm crying. Ouch

Omfg for a split second i thought abby and bonham were gonna tell him to move out of the farmhouse. Jfc i had a moment of RAGE

And then "but you finally made it into a home" goddd

I'm over here like, charmed also ended with the sisters living separately, they could totally do this to me🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

That crostini looks delicious

If August had gone to the military instead of school i was gonna be upset and fixit

Oh lol sweet, trey will be Walker's partner 👀 i wish we could've gotten to see that 🥺🥺🥺 And we'd get stuff like in the early days with trey caretaking his stupid wounds 👀👀👀

Ok girls scene. I hate geri but i love her dress lol. Reminds me of a dress i had as a kid

S5 could've been a nice final season. Like they could've said "ok we'll give you a final season to wrap this up" BUT NO

Wow, Sadie apologizing for ghosting Stella 🙃🙃🙃

Lolol sadie is another "you are your father's daughter"

Oh ok, so sadie will work at or manage??? the new side step probably...

Lmao liam "and maybe we could add a real estate level..to it" 😅😅😅😅

Ben: boyfriend please stop speaking lawyer lol

Hahh they're so CUTE. Cordri could NEVER

Lol abby. "Meddling" God FINALLY they're talking about actual intentions

Cordi with his shirt undone 👀👀👀👀👀

God he looks so happy and cavalier. He's like, this'll be so romantic and I'm gonna commit to her and everything will be perfect.

And then Geri's like, whoa settle down there buddy. I think i understand you too

WHAT

She messes with his shirt like "stop looking so slutty" lmfao why is everything she does so patronizing

He stoops down to tuck her hair🥺🥺

"I think i might have a solution for that" gonna either quit or take leave....

Ok I'm still pissy that Luna is blamed on him. HE WAS KIDNAPPED AND BURIED

I know it FEELS like his behavior is to blame, but HE DIDN'T KILL LUNA

If he'd been shot looking for someone else, would she blame THEM???

And I'm not saying he shouldn't apologize for his reckless behavior, but like. Why is no one worried about HIM

I'm tearing my HAIR OUT

LEAVE OF ABSENCE. I WAS RIGHT.

Liam. GOVERNOR???

Omg liam getting kidnapped from Ben by MIB?????😂😂😂😂😂

Luna's coaster on cassie's cork board 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Godddd cordi has a ring box

Yeah, I'm ready *secret smile*

Omfg so vanderbeek did a cameo as the new neighbor???😅 i really wonder what that backstory would've been

Ok i think that was the end lol. Gonna rewatch 😅😅😅😅

_

"See you sometime" i wonder if the ep title would be the same if they weren't canceled

I wish they'd said what the governor wanted, but I'm glad everybody kinda got a little "next thing for this character" inkling

Ok with hindsight of the episode as a whole, I'm even angrier at Geri in the opener. Like the parallel there is clearly intended when Geri says "you're a reminder and that's the last thing she needs" as he's having a BLENDER FLASHBACK

Like idk. She says you're ok and ilu like stating it as a fact will reassure him, but she doesn't actually say "are you ok? Should i call mawline?"

The way Cordi obviously feels like has to tie them together and keep her happy 🙃🙃🙃

*Aside* >>> Vanderbeek would TOTALLY be an annoying neighbor and probably cause problems on the ranch, maybe even between abby and bonham

Geri isn't right for Cordi, and he isn't right for her! They don't ever seem to have the same life goals??? OR love language

Augie saying "go-lly you scared the hell outta me" 😅😅😅

Augie: what's this about?

PLEASE, AUGUST, YOU ACT LIKE THIS MAN ISN'T ALWAYS EXCITED TO MAKE A SPECIAL BREAKFAST FOR AN OCCASION. HE'S HERE NOW WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE IT'S WEIRD AND HE HAS AN ULTERIOR MOTIVE 😭😭😭😭

You and Stella backed out of so many special meals he made!! Have you all gone fucking bonkers??

If they hadn't ended that scene with a hug i would've had to murder someone tbh

I wonder what plans bonham has for the ranch contracts

That "he has his people" line from Geri still driving me CRAZY. SHE'S NOT EVEN WORRIED ABOUT HIS PTSD

Geri rejected Beaches. That's a red flag lol

Abby having a mom moment with Cordi and telling him not to worry about what he might've done different 🥺🥺🥺🥺 fucking thank you.

Also, the way he's like "i kept telling myself after this case was over everything would fall into place. But i ended up just makin a mess of everything" --- john winchester thesis statement

This subaru commercial i always get feels like a travesty. Why is the lesbians car in a het commercial 😅😅😅😅

Stella being like "THIS abduction" but also reassuring cordi it wasn't his fault... only abby and stella have any rights right now

Godd this is making me cry again

The fact that stella hasn't seen what's in that letter... gahhh i can't remember the wording anymore but it was something about always being with her snd it was soooo 👁👄👁... another thing to end up in fic fodder

"And maybe after that we can figure out...where to go from here." MY STELLACORDI HEARTTT

i was well fed for stellacordi this season. More than i truly could imagine. Bless

Het subaru commercial again. In my mind, this woman is bi and in her first non-wlw relationship 😅😅😅

Once again with hindsight this 2nd Cordri convo is even more frustrating. There is NOTHING in her words or behavior that should lead Cordi to think she'll say yes to marrying him. They are on two different tracks in their relationship conversation and she's still holding him at arm's length. This is not a woman in love. This is a woman in "might as well."

AND THE JUXTAPOSITION OF THIS SCENE, AFTER GETTING REASSURANCE FROM STELLA, IS SURE AN INTERESTING NARRATIVE CHOICE

"And i was drowning, and you weren't there" and no followup that "i know you were kidnapped and that's not your fault" just the mom chastisement and patronizing hug.

And his body language is like "oh shit, she's gonna break up with me unless i prove I'm IN THIS"

Geri would totally say no on the vacation

Also we know she never said yes to hoyt because of thinking his wanderlust wouldn't settle. Why would this with cordi be ANY different. Sure he has roots, but he's also dedicated to solving cases. He's not quitting. And i don't see her saying yes without an ultimatum to him

Lol, last vacation days has Geri mentally switching back to thinking about real life and how it just won't work with cordi still in the rangers, and wanting to move to okc to get sadie set up 👀👀👀

Goddd i wish she'd been involved in Emily's death lololol

I know some people are probably upset August didn't get a romantic storyline, but I'm really glad they didn't shoehorn one in for him OR stella. Not even for my shipper heart, but for my aspec heart craving non romantic stories!!

And I'm fucking grateful they didn't end with a concrete cordri engagement

I really like Cordi’s embroidered shirt. It's so cute

Hmm... geri adjusting her not-skewed dress, and cordi's unbuttoned shirt... is this meant to signal that they were getting handsy and decided to move away from people, or am i reading in too much lol

Like every time he tries to be romantic, she redirects with a "but"

Maybe you're just aro, Geri. Maybe someone needs to tell you that's a thing!!

"I love us. And I...UNDERSTAND you, I REALLY think i do." = i love us just like this and really don't want to get married, like... ever.

God i feel insane. WHO sees them with a happy ending together???? It's not THERE

She can feel him leading up to a proposal and redirects him so he can't

But she won't fucking let him down and let him free 🙃🙃🙃

Godd why couldn't they tell us what the governor needs liam for😅😅���

I'm fine with this ending, as far as i can be. I definitely don't want a more concrete "what happens next" happy ending

I don't want a wedding

Lol Cordell's leather satchel is such a Sam bag

Stella about the Davidson ranch sublet: "why? Maybe it'll be a total drama free situation and we'll just be, like... neighbors." The perfect setup for drama lol, and to tell us well we can't show you but there would've definitely been drama

When cordell grabs gerii's hand in the truck, is it just me or is it trembly? Was it just an extended squeeze, or a signal of stress 👀👀👀👀

Vanderbeek's toe ring and sandals😅😅😅😅😅😅

God i can't believe it's over

[bisluthq]

First sorry for my bad English ✌️I'm telling you Taylor just lost her shit after her break up with Joe. All these stuffs overworking herself, making album after album rebounding with Matty and Travis(yes i think Travis is a rebound🤷) being loud and awkward at parties, going to weed parties, doing longest concert marathon in her career aka Eras tour....all these are coping mechanisms for her. Proving to herself, to Joe and to the world how she's fine, happy, she moved on. She was with this man 6 years like Taylor usually never last with men more than 3-4 months Calvin was exception but they never looked in love and she said she wasn't inspired to write while she was in relationship with Calvin so🤷 Taylor literally worshipping him in her songs "end game", " golden love", " soulmate invisible string", "my only one" "brainwashing to love me forever" "my false god" "I'd marry you with paper rings rings" like girl You're Taylor fucking Swift just calm down 😀 i don't think she'll fall in love again with someone else after Joe she'll never trust someone again especially when she's in the top on the world Joe was only man who used to love her just for her not for Taylor Swift ™ and she knew this that why they lasted 6 years and she was heartbroken but definitely she'll date men currently she's with 🏈dude but I don't think they will be "end game".

she made album after album while with Joe too and she made the tour plan while with Joe? This is like delusional Toe shipping. I’m not saying Joe wasn’t a pivotal relationship for her - it was - and she obviously loved him a great deal and tbh I think she still cares about him and that’s part of the “living with heartbreak” stuff but that didn’t mean she was happy with him there at the end and it didn’t mean she didn’t leave? What he offered her was no longer aligning with what she wanted? She didn’t want to just be a girl, she wanted to be Taylor Swift™️ again? He was emotionally distant? Things weren’t working? Because this was real life not a character storyline lmfao? Obviously Joe was hugely important to her and erasing that as some Swifties do is silly but let’s also not act like feelings don’t come and go. She loved him until the bad outweighed the good and their priorities no longer aligned.