#i used to actually stay up late on purpose to make friends on discord

[uygfiug]

Do you like the state which you describe as being high?

Or does 'liking' have nothing to do with it. is slipping into that state simply an inevitable event that you embrace because it feels right? Have you made any further analytical observations on that state and what it means to you? I'm curious.

- cha0s

yeah :)

its like all the bad things dont really matter much anymore, i can just relax and worry later yknow? and everything becomes a lot funnier for no reason other than me being happy, like once i was in the park with my friends, and i laid back to watch the clouds. i just started laughing really hard for like 15 minutes bc the clouds were funny? and also they were moving, which was like, woahhhhh :0

and on top of that bc i dont feell at all worried, i can just be 100% myself, and also act on any dumb thought/idea that comes into my head. once i was in class, having barely slept, and i for some unknown reason lifted my pencilcase, let it fall back onto my desk, and burst out laughing. whilst my teacher is going on about some philosopher, i dont remember which one though. another time i started talking to the walls, also once on a sleepover i got very energetic and just ran in circles for a bit. all of these i very much would not do when awake, usually im pretty calm

all emotions are very very heightened, so as long as im having fun, im really having fun yknow? but as soon as i feel even slightly bad i might just curl up & cry forever, so its not always great. its takes alot longer to start feeling bad though. i dont really seek it out anymore like i used to, but it is fun sometimes, and sometimes i really need to relax about something & then it even helps, like even afterwards when fully rested i got rid of some stress & built up energy?

anywaysss an important note: sleep deprivation is really really bad for you, i stay up on purpose maybe once every 3-4 months, but i used to all the time, and that destroyed my memory, i can barely remember a good few years, and i keep forgetting important things now

[gngayul]

hi everyone and sorry for the late intro!! i'm august (he/they) and i've joined gaenari with both gayul here and @gnseohan! i should probably make a separate into post on him but realistically i'll only be monitoring one account at a time so. gayul is the big winner this time !

lmao anyway i don't really have a discord for rp purposes so i'm stuck in ims for now but i'll put a little detail about both muses under the cut and leave this as an open plot call for anyone!

CHU GAYUL:

gaenari native born & raised; for a quick family background she has upstanding parents, three (much) older brothers who have all moved out of town, and a younger brother (@gngaram) who is the black sheep of the family but her favorite brother by far.

her father owns chu's, a diner that's been in the town for decades and was originally founded by her grandfather. gayul currently works at the diner for her parents, kinda filling in wherever is needed; she's there most nights including tuesdays, when her mother takes over the restaurant and turns it into a soup kitchen with the help of her church. mrs. chu is quite religious, by the way.

gayul herself had different dreams, though... she wanted to be a singer-songwriter, even teaching herself guitar (and having previously suffered through childhood piano lessons that she didn't appreciate until later in life). her idols are taylor swift, olivia rodrigo, heize, iu, and similar female solo acts & creatives. unfortunately, that career has obviously not yet taken off and has been put on the backburner while she prioritizes her family.

while her older brothers all went to university and have very successful careers all over the country, gayul was never able (see: allowed) to pursue higher education, instead only earning her high school diploma before she was more or less expected to just take care of her family. her father is getting old and can't physically keep up with the restaurant like he used to, so gayul and her limitless loyalty stepped up to help out.

she sort of knows that the restaurant will be passed to one of her older brothers and that they'll likely sell it off or close it down once they inherit it. she's working hard and learning the ins and outs so she can hopefully change her parents' minds on that decision and make sure that chu's stays in the family for generations to come.

as you might be able to tell, her family is incredibly conservative overall with very traditional views especially regarding gender roles. for these reasons, gayul has not told anyone that she's been dating @jiyeongn since high school and is very much in love with her.

gayul's sensitive and emotional and overall incredible soft and gentle; i kinda describe her as a "new soul" and she's incredibly pure of heart; she's loyal to a fault and her family is more important to her than anything, despite the way they treat her unfairly based on her sex. she quietly works toward her own goals when she can but helping her family will always take priority, whether that's helping to mend bridges and make amends or physical labor in the sense of running the restaurant or practically raising her little brother (who's really only three years younger than herself).

POTENTIAL PLOTS/CONNECTIONS: former classmates? gayul was a good student, maybe old friends who don't understand why she didn't go to uni. regulars at the diner; she knows your order by heart and will give occasional freebies if you look like you're having a rough day. family friends or friends from her mother's church? the chu family has been a well-known family in gaenari for generations, so surely there's a connection there somewhere. one of her older brother's ex-girlfriends who she actually really liked and hoped they would marry... friends, rivals, etc., anything really!

KIM SEOHAN:

here he is... gaenari's golden boy... the pinnacle of success... a hometown hero with the pressure of everyone's expectations on his shoulders...

to make a very long story short, seohan was born blessed. first of all, he was a "rainbow baby", a miracle to his parents who had been struggling with fertility issues for a while. and he had the bad luck to be born handsome, and intelligent, and talented. but these are good things? you say; well, not when it creates the expectation that he will always be handsome and intelligent and talented.

basically, seohan's grandfather introduced him to baseball at a young age; seohan fell in love with the sport. he played little league, then joined his high school team, then eventually got a scholarship to play for a prestigious university in seoul where he was also studying athletic training (so when his sports career inevitably ended, he could still find a job in the industry somehow).

good luck stuck again and seohan ended up not finishing his studies; he was scouted to join the KBO (national baseball league) and found himself on the futures team (minor league/farm team) for the hanhwa eagles, close to home in daejeon. he might have only been a minor league player but he was good looking enough that he ended up being requested for sponsorships and endorsements, at least on a local/regional level, and garnered some amount of fame.

however. he was pulled up to the major leagues for his first game. he was projected to have his big breakout, to make a name for himself on a national level, but unfortunately he suffered a season-ending injury to his right knee; ruptured ACL and torn meniscus; he's already undergone surgery and has many months of physical therapy and conditioning ahead of him before he'll be on the field again. so that's why he's in gaenari; he's recovering with the help of his family while he waits to heal up for next season.

he originally planned to stay in daejeon and recover with the help of his girlfriend, but she left him shortly after his repair operation, saying she lost all attraction to him after seeing him "like that."

so while he's in town, his old high school coach convinced him to help coach the high school team he used to play for and encourage the kids who probably have dreams of making it big like him someday. he agreed only as a favor to his coach, and it's about the only thing that gets him out of the house these days other than physical therapy appointments and the occasional endorsement or sponsorship that still trickles in despite the injury, though on a much smaller scale than he had been reaching before.

oh, also, he's gay. no one knows that and he keeps it very close to his chest. he did love his most recent ex-girlfriend but he wasn't attracted to her either.

in terms of his personality, he's rather conservative/reserved and really thinks before speaking; he's incredibly conscious of his image and it's like his biggest fear is letting people down or disappointing them. he's a bit sullen right now because he's struggling with failure for what might be the first time in this life and he doesn't know how to cope with it yet. still, he tries to fulfill the "image" that the town must have for him; he smiles even though it's faked and forced, he's polite and kind to everyone, and he's been hitting the gym a lot to stay in shape as much as he can while still healing. he's on the quiet side normally, but he's capable of holding a conversation.

POTENTIAL PLOTS/CONNECTIONS: old rivals? people he pissed off in high school for supposedly being "arrogant" or something? seohan definitely could've come off that way though it wasn't intentional. fans who have been rooting for him since his kbo futures debut; old friends who he hasn't been good at keeping up with who might be mad at him for that now that he's back in town or oppositely understanding and just happy to hang with him again... i'd love a best friend for him who he can actually trust with everything since he keeps a lot of his true thoughts and feelings so private... again, anything really!

[wingedcatgirl]

incorrect quotes generator tag meme

so there's this incorrect quotes generator on perchance, and @worldsfromhoney tagged us to toss some of our ocs in it >:)

This was fun, so I'm tagging @kung-fu-cutbug @kitdriveyards @comicallycubicalcassie @pure-vanilla-lilies @kiraheartilly36 and uhhh anyone else who sees this and thinks "oh this looks fun" to also try this. if they wanna.

Oh and it's lengthy as h*ck cause my basic-bitch fandom trait is that I really fucking love incorrect quotes -

(programme note: there's a character in leaf story whose name doesn't get revealed for a rather silly amount of time. it's kinda an open secret on our discords but lol)

(redacted): *holds a gun out to Leaf* Leaf: I-I don't believe in guns. (redacted): Well, trust me, they're very real. Now take it.

Leaf: This bloodline ends with me. (redacted): That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".

(redacted): I have lots of friends! Leaf: Name one. (redacted): Well, there’s- Leaf: Name one you haven’t gotten incredibly angry at. (redacted): Hey, that’s not fair, then there isn’t any!

(redacted): I’m doing what I can to jog your memory. Leaf: It’s jogging, I guess. Its tiddies are jiggling a little. (redacted): Nice.

Leaf: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm? (redacted): If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.

(redacted): GET BACK HERE YOU DUMB FUCK! Leaf: LET ME RUN FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!

And now let's add some canon characters into the mix:

Colette: I didn’t know that air fryers are a real thing. Used to think that they were made up by the internet as a funny joke and that their purpose was to “fry air”. Leaf: WAIT, BUT IT FRIES THE AIR TO FRY THE FOOD?? Colette: I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS A KITCHEN APPLIANCE, MY FIRST ASSUMPTION WAS SOMETHING AKIN TO AN AIR CONDITIONER! Lloyd: IT’S NOT LIKE AN AIR CONDITIONER???? (redacted): You guys clearly don’t own an air fryer.

(redacted): How late were you up last night? Leaf & Colette, in tandem: Me? (redacted): No, not you two. You stay up late all the time. (redacted), to Lloyd: You.

Lloyd: What is love? Colette: An emotional minefield. (redacted): A neurochemical reaction. Leaf: Baby don't hurt me.

Leaf: ARE YOU- Zelos: Fucking. Leaf: KIDDING ME?! YOU- Zelos: Fucking. Leaf: IDIOT! (redacted): …What was that? Zelos: Raine banned Leaf from swearing, so I’m helping her out.

Leaf: I give up. I am so tired. Raine: Get the emergency supply! (redacted): carries Zelos and places him in front of Leaf Zelos: smiles Leaf: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

Zelos: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess. Raine: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to? Leaf: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit. (redacted): Guys.

leaf is absolutely just committing to the bit on that one

Zelos: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?? Raine: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔 Leaf: Why were you microwaving a lemon??? Raine: I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots. (redacted): Did you burn an orange too? How??? Raine: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

Raine: I’m the smartest person in my friend group. (redacted): You hang out with Leaf, Lloyd, Colette, and Zelos. (redacted): It’s not as high a compliment as you think.

Colette: So, did everyone learn their lesson? (redacted): No. Leaf: I did not. Zelos: I may have actually forgotten one. Lloyd: Also no. Colette: Oh good, neither did I. Raine: *Exhausted sigh*

Raine: A mouse! Lloyd, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you. Zelos, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal! Colette, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy. (redacted), gasping: It's Ratatouille! Leaf: His name is Remi, dummy. Raine: …I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window… what is wrong with you people.

Lloyd: Wait, hold up, why you draw yourself like that? Leaf: Uh, like what? Lloyd: Like with gorgeous, muscular legs. Leaf: Uh, this is what I look like. Lloyd: Leaf: THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE! Lloyd: Okay, then I want big beefy arms. Hot ones. Colette: I wanna have a cowboy hat! Leaf: Okay, arms and hat. *draws them* Zelos: Ooh, give me a cowboy hat too! Leaf: You can't just take Colette's hat idea, Zelos! She thought it up all by herself like a good person! Come up with your own thing! Zelos: BUT I WANNA LOOK COOL! Raine: Put Zelos on one of those stupid baby tricycles. Zelos: NO!! Leaf: Tricycle, done. *draws it* (redacted), want anything? Raine, making finger guns: Pew pew. Leaf: A blaster?! No, that's not really our style, (redacted). (redacted), making finger guns: Pew pew. Leaf: You know what, okay. *draws it* But it's just for holding, not for shooting.

[whynotzoidbergdotorg]

Okay lets break down this argument piece by piece as to why this post is one big fat nothing burger flavored with what aboutism. And before you say anything I’m not an “anti” or a “proshipper” because both sides are so terminally online I can smell them in their basements, spilling sprite all over their already moist, sticky keyboards.

let’s start with the fact that most people actually don’t like sargent hatred, I don’t, nobody in my friend group does, and I literally run a venture bros discord server, where if I were to just…type in his name into the search bar

oh would you look at that. people literally hating him. because nobody actually likes him.

next let’s address deanjared.

I’d like to start off with the fact I don’t ship it, for one.

But regardless of that fact…if you’re going to claim that Jared is 30…well, I’d like to see a source on that. (And nevermind the fact that the showrunners almost made it canon in some early storyboards…which doesn’t make the ship morally pure, but clearly it wasn’t disgusting enough to the showrunners for it to never have been a possibility to begin with 🤷‍♀️)

next point: nobody actually even likes captain sunshine. literally both of the times he showed up he was intentionally written to be the most unlikeable POS on purpose. (Also please enlighten me on how incest somehow isn’t as bad as pedophilia? 🤨 Some “proshipper” you claim to be)

next: if you wanna complain about horny teenager jokes, I’d like you to make that complaint at any adult oriented show that has teen characters in it. I bet you won’t 🤷‍♀️

furthermore: I didn’t ship Rusty and Monarch, even before I knew they were related. because well, for one I had a feeling from the beginning they might be (the two look extremely similar, come on) but even then, why would I ship Monarch with anyone other than his literal wife??? Are we not watching the same fucking show???

in addition: why would Gary be a proshipper in the year of our lord 2004, before literally any of that terminology was even coined to begin with? This whole “proship vs. anti” nonsense literally reeks of terminally online internet dwellers of the late 2010s/early 2020s. Also why would he care about shipping? Men in fandom were usually the ones who complained about shipping, and considering Gary is supposed to be a stereotypical nerd of the time, let’s be honest, the dude would be unintentionally sexist, and say that shipping is “just for girls” 🤷‍♀️ He literally would not care. He’s too busy trying to win an ebay auction to get more star wars memorabilia.

This next one I feel I’m ESPECIALLY equipped to answer, as a jewish person myself: do you GENUINELY think anyone actually likes female hitler? i mean literally she hasn’t been in the show since the second season. I think that says everything about her reception by the audience. (And even so, I don’t think we were supposed to like her in the first place? because she’s FEMALE HITLER.)

also, for your last point, nice job using a picture from the episode where dean literally was possessed by abraham lincoln. y’know. which means that was abraham lincoln, a man who is over 200 years old and probably like mentally 40 in that context trying to kiss on a teenage boy. so you know. argument doesn’t work.

I was happy enough leaving you alone and just continually blocking your blogs as I come across them, but this was the post that broke the camel’s back and I couldn’t stay silent anymore.

I leave you with this: you are an idiot. please get therapy.

reasons why antis should be banned from the venture bros

literally one of y'all's favorite characters is a "recovering pedophile" who sexually assaulted hank and dean, even going so far as to getting at latter teen passed out on wine in order to do so AND later tried to get them to stay the night and SHOWER WITH HIM after previously telling them leave his house because he's not allowed to be near underage boys

90% of you ship jared, a 30 year old, with dean, who just turned 18

yes it was stated in the art book that captain sunshine is not a pedo but he still acted very creepy towards hank and kissed him without his consent

the constant horny teenager jokes aimed towards dean in the early seasons

literally everyone shipped malcolm and dr venture until they were vaguely revealed to be "blood related"

dean basically confessing his love to hank in the season finale

you all lust over gary like you dont know he would absolutely be a proshipper and argue with antis online all the time

there is literally a character that is female Hitler why do you think you can watch this show and think you're morally above everyone else

dean is in love with hank

[satans-left-asscheeky]

ok but about fallout 4 companions and how they play dnd??? 👀👀👀👀👀

Maccready

OH MY GOD HE IS LIKE A KID IN A CANDY STORE.

You know those people who discover something, hyper fixate and then stay up all night learning everyday they can about it? Yeah that's mac.

His characters really do range and he's all over the place.

Shiny thing goblin. will hoard the gold

He likes playing as Ranger, Barbarian, rogue and bard the best but he really will play as anything.

His voice actor Matt Mercer is also super into DND too which I think is super fitting.

Hancock

Bard af

doesn't try to do anything productive during their play time

Wants to just dick around and see how many people he can bang and how much alcohol he can consume before dm gets tired of his shit

Ends up drawing on his character sheet and zoning out most of the time

Despite him being lazy in the game he actually really enjoys it

especially annoying everyone else

Cait

Says she doesn't really care to much about the game but always ends up getting really into it once she's there

BARBARIAN

Tries to solve every problem with her fists

Has killed important plot characters and fucked the party over on more than one occasion

Totally smuggles all the gold.

Danse

LAWFUL GOOD

Paladin obviously

Gets way to into it but unlike Cait he becomes a rigid role pusher

surprisingly besides the rule thing him and Mac enjoy playing together the most

Corrects the DM and pisses the party off.

Cait and him clash soooo hard.

Curie

The one that tries to drag the random NPC around because "They're baby"

Tries to bring every animal along

Also has animal perk too because did I mention she likes the animals?

Cried after Cait killed one of her beloved NPC

Lawful good/Neutral good always

Druid or cleric no in-between. But always a halfling

Always late to session but brings everyone snacks so it's okay

Deacon

Oh the poor, poor DM

Hes the one that wants to see how far off kilter he can push the story

Tries to derail the entire damn thing. Successes half the time

Makes horrible suggestions on purpose. Team for some reason follows his lead.

puts curie in his backpack for some reason. Has Cait kill important characters because "they looked dodgey". Points out to Danse that Dm isn't following the rules

CHAOTIC NEUTRAL

Rogue or bard

His favorite two characters were a jester who laughed instead of talked, and an arsonist who was terrified of fire and lit things in their sleep and didn't know it..

Piper

Dm

She writes all the campaigns SUPER in detail and cries when the party only uses like half of it.

tries her best to make everyone happy but somehow there's always fighting

Let's the party do pretty much anything with in reason.

She thinks Deacon doesn't understand the game....

Preston

OMG HIM AND CURIE ARE BEST FRIENDS!

He helps out every NPC with a sob story and it drives everyone crazy

Also falls ill to the "Let's drag this random npc around" disease

Takes souvenirs from everywhere the party goes

"Hey Dm can I pick that flower?"

"Hey Dm Can I take that stick?"

Hey Dm can I keep that key that opened only that one specific chest?"

Lawful good. Wizard but he's really bad at it

Nick

Wizard but he's really good at it.

Lowkey Sage.

Lawful good too 😔😔😔

Tries to save the party from Cait and Deacons bullshit

Lowkey likes playing with Danse 👀👀

his favs still are curie, mac and Preston though

is the glue that holds the party together

X6-88

He knows Deacons plan and throughly enjoys watching it take place.

He never actually plays or Dms he just spectators and sometimes helps dm write campaigns or come up with ideas.

Loves the chaos and discord. it's what gets him out of bed in the morning

[tarosin]

The great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo and ranboo - the best mcc team

this is an extra to the great adventures series

the moment you found out ranboo got into mcc you instantly ran into the room you were sharing pulling him into a hug you were honestly so proud of him and he was going to be with tubbo

“BOO I'M SO PROUD OF YOU YOU'RE GOING TO DO AMAZING”

unfortunately, you weren’t going to be in mcc this month but that didn’t stop you from being over the moon for your friend. when it was finally time for mcc you wished your friend good luck and apologised for not being able to watch his pov as you weren’t about to break the tradition of watching Tommy after all he was your first and biggest supporter. 3 hours later the event ended and everyone who was watching ranboos pov heard you faintly screaming at Tommy over discord whilst tubbo sat laughing and ranboo was concerned, he heard from Tommy that you would often yell at him however he didn’t believe that he was being honest

“FUCK YOU TOMMY STOP LAUGHING YOU HIT ME IN TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE ON PURPOSE THEN LAUGHED ABOUT ME NOT BEING IN…..fine when I get in I’m requesting to be on Scott's team…I’m still mad at you but you did great I'm so proud of you congrats Tommy I’ll see you soon goodbye”

at the start of the next month, you received a message from Scott

Scott: so I have a few things to tell you 1 - how would you feel about becoming head twitch mod it’s only fair you’ve been my mod for a while and 2 - welcome to mcc make sure to fill in the form asap!

y/n: 1 - of course I’d love to be head twitch mod and 2 - heh??

not long later you received a form at the same time as your friends, you decided not to tell anyone and somehow you managed to keep it a secret, Scott agreed to lie to the others about whos team they’re on as he knew how excited everyone was going to be. today was the day your big secret would be released, you Tommy tubbo and ranboo were sat outside when the notification went out announcing the team honestly you’ll never forget the look on their faces when they realised

MCChampionship_ tweeted: 👑announcing team green guardians 👑

@tommyinnit @tubbolive @ranboosaysstuff @y/n

Watch them in MCC on Saturday, August 28th at 8 pm BST!

“Y/N WHAT THE FUCK”

“congrats y/n”

ranboo didn’t say anything he just tackled you into a hug like you did last month when you found he was in mcc. Tommy and tubbo were still processing what they just read

“Scott fucking lied to me”

“aye I told him to”

“what the fuck”

from then the four of you would constantly stream with each other on the mcc training server, you were a strong team when you weren’t yelling at each other.

time flew by soon enough it was the 28th of August. Tommy genuinely couldn’t believe it his best friend was in mcc and on a team with him and he genuinely believed you all had a decent chance in winning as you were a strong team. Tommy invited you over to stream mcc he claimed it was because there would be three people trying to stream in the same room, in reality, it was because he wanted to see your reaction and be there for your first mcc.

Tommy let you stream from his room he had spent the previous night getting advice from tubbo on how he managed to set up so he could stream with ranboo in the same room.

“you ready y/n”

“of course I’ve been watching and learning from the best”

you and Tommy set up and joined the discord call and the mcc server, it was finally time. similarly to ranboo this was something you had wanted to do since Tommy told you all about it on your way home from school one day. 30 minutes later it was time for the games to begin and this is where the chaos began.

“you know what I hope it’s build mart”

“what the fuck y/n”

“fuck you I’m good at build mart- oh you’re joking it’s fucking parkour tag”

this is when you realised that two screaming teenagers in the same room both trying to stream the event wasn’t the best idea, you and Tommy would constantly scream at poor ranboo who was just trying to hunt the other team

“RANBOO CATCH THEM”

“really y/n?! I thought I’d let them win this round”

unsurprisingly your team was doing great you had won 7/8 rounds but there was still one more round, determined to be the one to get dream you decided to be the hunter

“y/n don’t worry if you can’t get them we’re doing well”

“Y/N IGNORE RANBOO ME AND TOMMY DON'T WANT TO LOSE”

“not putting pressure on me at all thank you boys”

being close friends with technoblade gave you an advantage you didn’t expect due to the fact he helped to “train” you for your first mcc which ended up being the reason you were able to catch them all and then helped the others avoid being caught

“tubbo he's to your left TUBBO I SAID HES TO YOUR LEFT WHY ARE YOU GOING LEFT TOMMY RUN RUN RUN RUN ranboo you’re doing great”

“NO WAY”

you had just successfully won the round against dream sapnap George and quackity and you would never let dream live this down

“do you guys think dream will let me be in one of his manhunts now”

“no”

“fuck you tubbo you’re just mad you couldn’t catch all the runners in yellow yaks. you couldn’t catch jack manifold”

so far everything was going well you were currently in 4th place and your team had high hopes. you all felt the need to confirm to your chats that you’re all not actually mad at each other and not to worry about everything.

the next game was survival games ranboo wasn’t ready for this due to the last mcc where he died pretty early on, it started well you all stuck together as a team until the game was nearly over and you got distracted by a chest and ran away from the others whilst they were fighting another team this ended up being a happy accident in disguise you got the notification that Tommy tubbo and ranboo were killed fighting another team

“oh fuck”

“WE COULD HAVE WON WAIT Y/N DID YOU DIE”

“no”

tubbo could practically hear your smile as you explained to them that you ran off and was currently under a tree watching the others fight, you used the fact they died in the game to your advantage they would tell you if anyone was coming to attack you whilst you ran around collecting loot avoiding the others shooting arrows

“AYO STOP FUCKING SHOOTING ME ITS MY FIRST MCC LET ME WIN”

“Y/N HAVE YOU GOT LAVA”

“I DO AAAAAA PISS OFF LET ME WIN”

“USE THE LAVA YOU CAN EASILY TAKE OUT HALF OF THE REMAINING PLAYERS”

to everyone’s surprise, it worked due to the border being smaller so there was less room to run soon it was you vs punz at this point you were determined to win

“GO Y/N GO GO GO HIT HIM YOU CAN DO IT”

“you’re doing so well y/n”

some may call it beginners luck but you ended up winning the fight against punz

“LETS FUCKING GO Y/N”

“I DID IT OH MY GOD”

the next game was hole in the wall and long story short you sucked, ranboo on the other hand did not. it didn’t take long for you to fall every single round. this helped the others though as you were able to yell which side the wall was coming from

“fuck this stupid game the wall hates me”

“y/n you're supposed to jump through the gaps“

“you know what no I’m going to get on a sapnap alt stream by glitching through”

this didn’t work you died again

“well fuck there I go I guess you’ve got this though guys Tommy you’re doing decent”

“I'm doing great thank you- oh I died FUCK YOU FOR DISTRACTING ME”

“blah blah blah GO TUBBO AND RANBOO”

you couldn’t believe it ranboo was one of the final people remaining, unfortunately, ranboo jumped too late resulting in him falling but nonetheless you were proud of him

“unlucky boo you all did great”

the next game was battle box the four of you had been practising this a lot so there was a lot of pressure to do well especially since you were now in the top 3 on the leaderboard, the strategies you made from practicing paid off you managed to win the majority of the rounds, however, there was a lot of screaming and arguing during the last round

“RANBOO STOP STEALING MY KILLS OR I'M GOING TO START HITTING YOU WITH A SWORD”

“he’s been stealing mine too y/n”

tubbo was honestly playing well during this game and you were amazed

unfortunately, the arguing resulted in you losing the round as you were all focusing on arguing which meant you missed the other team rushing to wool

“unlucky boys”

“7 wins out of 9 rounds honestly isn’t that bad we should still be third we just need to stay strong with the rest of the games”

during the break before the last four games, the four of you sat making plans for the next few round

“I want to get to the other side last I think that will be our strength”

there was still a rather long break left so you did what anyone else would do run around the server and yell this was a huge mistake as it messed with the soundproofing resulting in tommys mic picking you up and vice versa

“so I guess we’re streaming like this now”

“FIX IT”

“well since you asked so nicely tubso…no”

tubbo ended up doing the same to the soundproofing in the room he was in with ranboo were in meaning all four of you were now having a scuffed stream as you ran out of time to fix it because before you knew it, it was time to play sky battle

“right we should go left”

“tubbo will get iron Tommy will make the bridge and y/n will do…something”

you did the same thing techno did in the pride mcc and hid occasionally breaking blocks from underneath people so they would fall the others were doing well the game was a mixture of you all encouraging each other and you all cursing each other out whilst ranboo ignored you all and spoke to his chat

“chat I know you can hear double everyone if I could fix it I would but tubbo y/n and Tommy are being too stubborn to fix everything and we don’t have time”

“Y/N WHERE ARE YOU”

“making people fall to their death can we talk about our feelings now because this is stressful as hell”

“NOT THE TIME”

you all did decently you weren’t amazing at this game but that was expected it was something you all weren’t the biggest fan of but somehow you were all still in third place and that was something you weren’t expecting especially for your first mcc

it was now time for sands of time you all needed to do well

“bruh I wanted build mart what the fuck is this”

“we’re not going to win this game boys”

and tubbo would be corrected that that statement, you ended up having a visual glitch making it difficult, Tommy would constantly get trapped in a dungeon like last time things weren’t loading for ranboo you had no idea what tubbo was doing and quite frankly you didn’t want to find out unless it was going to be good news and considering all you could hear was tubbo yelling anything that came to mind you could guess it wasn’t going well. you tried to rage quit a couple of times only to be yelled at by the others every time you disconnected from the server

“Y/N STOP LEAVING”

“I CAN'T SEE SHIT”

“you’re doing well y/n stay calm we’re going to be fine”

“OH I CAN'T PLAY THIS GAME I'M DYSLEXIC”

“CLEARLY WE'RE NOT FINE TUBBO IS STRUGGLING TOMMY IS LOCKED IN A DUNGEON AND I CAN'T SEE SHIT...HAVE YOU GOT THE LETTER N YET”

“no, they’re spawning one in for me”

“could them maybe I don’t know speed up the process”

yeah you ended up losing that game and got knocked down the 4th good news is it was only by a couple hundred points

next up was ace race

“do yous reckon Scott's tested this map”

“aren’t you his head twitch mod”

“you’re right I'll message him and find out”

luckily you all managed to do pretty well, Tommy was off to a great start you tubbo and ranboo weren’t far behind you all agreed to follow each other rather than the crowd which paid off as when everyone else went the wrong way rather than following you all managed to go the right way thanks to ranboo yelling he thinks that he knows where to go and thankfully he was correct which put Tommy first tubbo second ranboo third and you fourth, you all ended up lapping people on your final lap and honestly, none of you guessed this would happen but you weren’t exactly complaining. a few moments later you all crossed the finishing line and were the first team to finish giving you the bonus points you needed to push you to second place

“did you know since I first got into mcc I would put y/ns name down for who I wanted to play with”

“TOMMY OH MY GODDDD”

a few seconds later you showed up on Tommy's face cam as you ran over to him giving him a hug

“you’re doing great y/n we might get into dodgebolt”

“dude we’re winning this shit”

soon enough it was time for the last game (unless you got into dodgebolt) and luckily it was to get to the other side

“we've got this we have actually got this we’re going to get to dodgebolt”

you stuck with Tommy for almost every round mainly because speed bridging wasn’t for you. you were all doing great you were the first team to finish for multiple rounds however you were also the last team to finish for a few rounds

“boys I'm not sure if we’ll get through”

“We all had fun”

“if we get into dodgebolt we’re going to be against dream”

“WILL YOU ALL FUCKING FOCUS”

“no- OW TOMMY HIT ME WITH A PEN”

“IT WAS THE CLOSEST THING WOULD YOU RATHER I CHUCK MY COMPUTER MOUSE”

“will you two quit fighting we’re about to find out the final scores.”

3..2..1

“oh my god”

“what the fuck”

“ranboo and y/n are about to play dodgebolt”

“LETS GO WHAT THE FUCK”

you all did it you successfully kept 2nd place somehow now all you had to do was win dodgebolt against dream George sapnap and quackity. safe to say you and ranboo were nervous as fuck and rightfully so as you all lost the first game

“let’s be serious we need to focus now”

you all won the next round

“LETS FUCKING GO WE'VE GOT THIS”

it was now the third round Tommy and tubbo were now out it was you and ranboo against dream and sapnap

“bruh were fucked ranboo”

ranboo took aim and somehow hit sapnap whilst you took a moment to type a message in chat

y/n: it’s my first mcc how do you feel knowing you’re about to lose

it was now your turn to take aim and Tommy yelling in the background wasn’t helping you and the yelling made you shoot before you were ready luckily ranboo picked up an arrow and was able to hit dream, it was now 1 vs 2 if you won this round you would all be the champions and that’s exactly what happened you all quit yelling at each other hell you muted the discord call so you could focus all you could hear was Tommy next to you occasionally supporting you

“come on y/n final round. you’re about to win your first mcc I’m so proud of you”

“you’re doing amazing Tommy thank you for everything now let’s win this thing”

and just like that, it was over Tommy took the final shot and hit sapnap

you all unmuted the four of you yelling

“TOMMY TUBBO RANBOO I'M SO PROUD OF YOU GUYS”

“WE DID IT WE FUCKING DID IT”

“OH MY GOD”

“WELL DONE EVERYONE”

this time Tommy ran over to you pulling you into a hug he was genuinely so proud of you and the others

“you did it y/n you won your first mcc that’s amazing”

“I couldn’t have done it without you or the others I love you all”

after talking to the other teams and ending stream

you and Tommy stayed on call with tubbo and ranboo

“you two need to make your way back here”

“me and y/n could probably catch a train if we’re very quick”

you nodded and quickly grabbed everything you needed thankfully your good luck hadn’t come to an end yet as you and Tommy were able to catch one of the last trains, Tommy had an arm around you as he noticed you were getting tired after all you did just go through the stress of your first mcc to over 170k viewers you ended up falling asleep on his shoulder a few hours passed and you were at the last stop Tommy lightly tapped your shoulder

“hey y/n were here tubbo and ranboo are waiting for us over there…let’s go celebrate this win shall we”

an: do not publish my work :)

taglist:

@emma0nline @fuzzycloudsz @wtfwriter @bearytime @milkydisaster @dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @augustine-is-joy @c1loudee

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Ten. Faces

warnings: swearing, hate comments word count: 4.1k (not including pics)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: sorry its late!!!! this feels rushed but i was just too excited to get to some parts!!! also i have had some parts written out for SO long that they dont even feel cute to me anymore so im literally praying to every deity rn that you guys think its cute lmao anyway enjoy!!!!

**********

It had been about a week since Karl's slip up but everything was already more normal than Y/n had expected it to be. Of course, George, Sapnap and Quackity were all very understanding and gave her space while simultaneously reassuring her that she was safe with them. She fully believed it too, she knew she was safe with them and they weren't going to tell anyone her name.

The one unusual thing was now she had a heavy guilt, like someone dropped another sandbag in her stomach, every time Dream texted her. If the others knew, it was only fair that she tell him her name too, right? I mean, it's Dream. Dream! The boy who had quickly slipped his way into her life and, though she wouldn't admit it to Karl or Naomi, her heart.

But how? Does she just come right out and say it or wait until it gets brought up? She hadn't practiced telling anyone her name because she wasn't planning on doing it any time soon. Though, maybe she should have been seeing as she was going to see them all in person in a little over a month.

Regardless of the guilt, Y/n had other things to worry about today; Quackity was coming to visit. Karl had picked him up from the airport and the two of them spent all day catching up and doing who knows what but Y/n still hadn't met him. She was scared. She wasn't scared of Quackity, but scared because it was the first time one of her online friends would be able to put a face to her name and voice.

Y/n shuffled across her living room rug and reached for her phone on the coffee table, looking for some sort of distraction while she waited for them to arrive.

-

Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled, shaking her head as she threw her phone on the couch. Okay, he's right. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be great. It's just Quackity. If he said anything rude or annoying or anything she could literally just step on him like a bug.

A sharp knock on the front door of her apartment snapped her back into reality. She shook her limbs of nervousness as she made her way to the door, two familiar voices begging to be acknowledged from the other side.

"Let us iiinnn!! Y/nnn!!!!" Karl whined.

After countless times asking the same question, she finally convinced Karl that she was okay with him using her real name in front of Quackity. He clearly still felt guilty about telling the boys her name, asking her multiple times in different ways whether he should call her Y/n or Bugsy in front of the guest. She finally got it through his head that she didn't mind either way.

"Hold on!" she yelled back. She unlocked the door and swung it open to see Karl and Quackity. "So impatient."

"Holy shit, you are tall! Goddammit, I thought that was a joke!"

Y/n laughed shyly at the greeting, looking at Quackity like he was crazy. "Hello to you too. Tried to warn you, dude."

"Yeah but, damn! You're tall and attractive, what the hell?"

"Dude," she said with a warning in her voice. She thought the flirting on Twitter was funny, but in real life she got embarrassed easier and wasn't a fan. "I'm about to kick you out of my house before I even let you in."

This was weird, meeting Quackity before meeting some of her other friends. She loved Quackity, but she had known George much longer and Sapnap even before that. There was no problem with meeting Quackity, she just had no idea how to act since she felt like she hardly knew him.

"Am I allowed to tell people that you're hot?" he asked as he fell on her couch, Karl following right after.

"Quackity!" Y/n yelled, her face heating up at a compliment. "Seriously?"

Karl cackled and shoved Quackity. "Shut up, Alex! No, you're not allowed!"

"Sorry, is that compliment reserved for Dream?" He cackled at his own joke and Y/n's face heated up even more.

"I seriously will kick you out of my house."

"You wanna be flirty on main but not in real life?" Quackity scoffed.

"I'm not flirty on main, you are!" she laughed. "Seriously, don't."

"Okay, sorry, I'll stop," Quackity promised with a laugh in his words.

The three of them fell into easy conversation, mostly because Karl and Quackity were already comfortable around each other at this point. They eventually decided to go to the mall, just to mess around and do something.

*reminder: covid doesn't exist in this fic bc we only want happy things so ignore their masks :P*

Y/n frowned as she unlocked her front door, staring at her phone. She had been so happy with all the fans freaking out about the meetup so she looked at the trending list, expecting to see a flood of keyboard smashes and happiness, but that's not all she ended up seeing. BUGKARLITY was trending, so she scrolled through the tweets and was upset to see not all of them were positive. In fact, when she typed her name in the search bar, lots of the tweets using her name were rather mean.

A few that stuck in her head called her an attention whore and said that her friends only flirted with her because she paid them too. Who on earth would even do that? Some hurt way more than others but she tried to push them aside. It wasn't like this was the first time she had seen comments like this, but they had only gotten worse since her Minecraft date with Dream. She was worried it was cause more hate for her friends and the last thing she wanted was to be the cause of their own hate.

She typed several different messages to Dream, deleting them all after she reread them. She felt like she had to request the same thing from him in a different way. Maybe because she felt like his words meant more, even if he really was just joking like the rest of them. She decided to call him instead of texting.

"Hi!" he chirped happily from the other end.

"Hi, Dream," she said as her chest filled with something warm at the sound of his voice. "How are you doing?"

"Good," he dragged out the word. "How are you?"

"Okay."

"Just okay? What's up?"

"Um," she started, immediately forgetting the words she decided she'd use. "I just... would you mind, uh, not flirting with me so much on, like, Twitter and streams and stuff like that?"

There was a silence before Dream's frantically apologetic words came through. "Yes, of course, oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. If I had known I was making you uncomfortable, I wouldn't have—"

"Wait, no," she interrupted but he must not have heard.

"—said things like... oh gosh. Bug, I'm really sorry—"

"Dream!" she raised her voice, getting him to stop ranting. "You don't make me uncomfortable."

"Oh. Really?"

"Of course not. I actually think it's really..." Cute? Adorable? Endearing? "funny," she decided.

"Oh. Then why...?"

She sighed heavily and explained what she told the others. "So, yeah. I just don't want you guys getting hate because of me so I figure if you stop then... you know."

"Bug..." he said gently. "I'm really sorry. I promise you that I don't—none of us think those things about you."

"I know."

"No, seriously," he said, clearly not believing her. "You need to understand that I..." he paused. "I mean what I say. Always."

Always? she thought. There's a few things he's said that certainly he didn't really mean... like calling her cute?

"I don't joke around like that unless I want to. I wouldn't say things like I say to you unless I really, really, genuinely considered you a close friend and felt comfortable around you. And I do."

Her heart swelled. "Thanks, Dream. I just... maybe don't do it so much for right now? Online, at least," she clarified, not wanting to deprive herself completely of Dream's flirting.

"Yeah, if that's what you want, of course."

"Well, I don't want you to stop flirting with me but, yeah."

He chuckled. "Oh, you do like when I flirt with you?"

She hummed and changed the subject. "Did I interrupt you doing anything?"

"No," his teasing voice dropped and was back to his regular self. "I'm just editing the video we filmed the other day."

"Oh, the 'Minecraft, but you can't touch the floor'?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh," she said, not meaning to sound disappointed. "I'll let you get back to it—"

"No. I mean, you can stay on the phone. Unless you're busy."

She smiled and put her phone on speaker and set it next to her foot on the floor. "I was just gonna paint. So I can stay."

Before she knew it, almost two hours had passed of them sitting in comfortable silence, occasionally speaking to share something with the other before going back to their tasks. It was comforting knowing she didn’t need to speak constantly and could just hang out with Dream.

Y/n's phone rested on the floor next to her, Dream on speakerphone on the other end, only the sounds of his keyboard clicking letting her know he hadn't fallen asleep or hung up. She wasn't sure when they started doing this, staying on the phone even when they had nothing to talk about, but they had done it a few times before. They had talked on the phone and Discord many times but it was usually always with purpose, not usually this silently-enjoying-each-others-presence nonsense. Who was she kidding calling it nonsense, she enjoyed it an embarrassingly insane amount.

She repositioned so she was laying on her stomach as she finished sketching an image that was in her mind.

"Hey, you still there?" Dream asked softly.

"Yeah. Sorry, am I taking away from your sitting in silence time with George?" she joked.

Dream chuckled lightly. "Nah, you're more fun. I was just seeing if you ditched me for Karl yet."

"Nah, you're more fun," she mimed truthfully. "But I'm very focused on this drawing."

"Can I see it when you're done?"

"Don't expect too much. It looks bad."

"If you don't tell me what it is, I can't know how accurate or inaccurate it is."

"Very true..." she trailed off, holding the canvas further away to examine it all at once. She wanted the sketch to be perfect before she made permanent choices with paint. She enjoyed the serenity they maintained even when talking, voices low and delicate like they were keeping secrets but not quite whispering. "Are you almost done editing your video from the other day?"

"Sorta. I'm at the part where you and Sapnap almost died laughing because a ghast knocked George into lava and then Sapnap laughed so hard he fell into lava."

She chuckled, remembering the situation vividly. "That was so funny. The way George screams is so funny."

"Let Naomi know that," he mumbled, causing Y/n to gasp.

"Dream!" she laughed loudly and he joined.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's true though."

"Disgusting!"

A distant voice sounded on the other end and she assumed it was Sapnap. "What do you want for dinner?"

Dream responded with a soft, "Nothing, I'm good."

"Are you talking to Bugsy?"

He must have responded physically because the next sound was Sapnap's very clear, much more lively voice speaking directly into the phone. "Hi, Bugsy!"

"Hi, Sapnap!"

"Can you tell Dream to eat some damn food? This man literally hasn't eaten a single thing all goddamn day."

"Dream," Y/n scolded slowly. "Please eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"I'm not showing you my painting until you eat."

A door closed on the other end and she took that as a sign that Sapnap had left.

"I don't wanna see it anyway. It's probably trash."

"Take that back!" she gasped lightly. She looked at the canvas as she grabbed the first paint color and laughed. It was only a sketch and it was already trash. "Fine, then I won't go on the trip if you don't eat in the next ten minutes."

"That's punishing yourself too though."

"Who says I want to see you?" she asked.

"I never said anything about not seeing me being the punishment."

She had been caught. "It was implied."

"Sure it was."

"It's true though. Who says I wanna see your stupid face?"

He didn't say anything, but an incoming FaceTime call lit up Y/n's phone. A FaceTime call from him.

Her smile dropped. "Clay?"

"Answer it," his voice was lower and her heart started beating faster. Was he really about to show her his face to prove a point? Reveal his biggest secret that only a few close friends knew? To her of all people? She made sure she couldn't be seen in the small window and pressed accept, the voice call ending and the FaceTime call starting.

To her surprise, what came into view wasn't his face, but the logo of the hoodie he was wearing, the simple smile of his merch taunting her. She laughed, the anxiety slowly fading away as it was replaced with a heavy feeling in her stomach. Was she disappointed? Maybe a little, but he teased her into believing she would see him.

"Oh, wow! Dream face reveal! He looks just like his icon, no way!!!"

His chest moved up and down as he laughed, not moving the camera away. "You heard it here first, guys! You've known my face all along, the logo is actually my face!"

She laughed and returned to painting, not paying any more attention to her phone since he was now also showing his ceiling, a small corner of his monitor in frame but nothing else. "I mean it though, if you don't eat, I'm going to be so mad I won't even want to be friends anymore. Or you'll die from malnourishment before we get the chance to meet."

"I doubt it. I'm just not hungry."

"Whatever."

"Oh, hey, so you met Quackity today. How was it?"

"Very scary."

"Yeah?" he asked sympathetically, urging her to explain if she wanted.

"Yeah. But it turned out okay! He didn't act any different so it was fine. It was mostly just awkward. He's also so freaking loud. You would not believe how much louder he and Karl get when they're together."

"I can imagine. Aren't they doing a stream right now or something?"

"Yeah, I think so. I don't wanna watch though, I've had enough of them for the month."

Dream laughed. "How will you deal with them together for New Years'? It'll be for like two weeks."

"Who knows if I'll actually go?"

"Wait, what?" he asked abruptly, not even bothering to hide the disappointment in his voice. His keyboard stopped clicking and she could picture him staring at his phone as if looking at her. "Of course you're going."

"Not if you don't eat food! You have, like, 3 minutes to eat something until I officially am busy doing other things whenever the trip is."

Dream groaned and clicked a few things on his computer before the image on the screen became blurry as he walked through the house, still pointing it at the ceiling. She looked away again and kept painting.

"Quackity's really funny though," she continued. "It was super awkward at first but it was fun to have someone else to help me make fun of Karl."

"Wait, Bug," Dream called out over the sound of wrappers crinkling.

"Hm?" She hummed, continuing to paint.

"Bug," his voice was much softer and he sounded nervous.

She looked at her screen and dropped the paintbrush as she focused on what she saw, grabbing her phone and holding it closer to her face so she could see, still making sure she wasn't in view. All the anxiety from the beginning of the FaceTime suddenly came back and hit her like a truck. Sitting on her screen, waiting to be seen, was Dream. His hood was up, tufts of blonde hair sticking out, and he was standing with his back towards a dark room, the dim light from his pantry making his face just visible.

He held up a cookie in front of his actual, real face. "Are you watching?"

"Y-yea... I... Yeah. I'm watching. Is that really you?"

He nodded once before shoving the cookie in his mouth. "There, I consumed food," he announced, his voice muffled by the cookie. "Now you're legally obligated to come."

"I—What? CLAY! WHAT?"

"What?" he asked innocently as he chewed, walking back to his room and still holding the phone up to show his face. His room light was on, making his face much more visible. If Y/n thought he was attractive in the harsh pantry light, he must have looked like a god in his room lighting, even as pixelated as he was due to the quality of FaceTime. He fell on his bed and Y/n could only gape at his features. He slumped against his headboard, surrounded by roughly a thousand pillows, sporting a small, shy smile as he stared at the screen. "Bug, what?"

She opened her mouth but no words came out. Needless to say, he was unbelievably handsome. Part of the speechlessness was from the shock that he showed his face out of the blue, but obviously, the majority of it was that he was pretty much the most attractive person she'd ever seen. It should be illegal for someone to look that good in a hoodie, especially when pixelated.

"Hmm," he hummed thoughtfully. "Wanna take back what you said earlier?" He bit into another cookie.

"W-what did I say earlier?" Why was she stuttering???

"You said you don't wanna see me and that I'm ugly," he teased.

She paused for too many seconds too long before finally muttering, "you arrogant son of a bitch." He laughed loudly at that.

His eyes crinkled and he threw his head back. So that's what he looks like when he wheezes, she thought to herself, pretty.

Dream shuffled his position on his bed and rested his head on one of his hands. He looked so comfy. "Why are you so quiet, weirdo?" he mumbled.

She set her phone back down and touched her cheeks with her hands and looked away for a moment, grounding herself to the real world for a second. She couldn't process her thoughts when she was staring at a man as gorgeous as Clay. "I don't know, maybe because you gave me no warning before showing me your face? Or because you failed to mention that you're incredibly hot?"

She was so glad she had looked back at her phone or else she would have missed the glorious sight of his cheeks turning bright red before he turned the camera back to his ceiling. "Oh my gosh."

"Aw cute, I made you blush."

"Shut up," he mumbled. "You threatened to not come if I didn't eat something!"

"You didn't have to—you showed me your freaking face just to prove you ate a cookie!! DREAM! I would have believed you if you just said you ate something!" she laughed breathlessly, staring at the phone now for a chance to see him again. "I was joking anyway!"

"Sure you were."

"I was."

"Well, oh well. You deserved to see me anyway."

"Oh, I deserve to see you?" She laughed. "How big is your ego?"

"You know what I meant," he groaned. "You got doxxed by Karl and you met Quackity in person. And you've clearly had a bad day because of all the hate and stuff. You've done a lot of stressful things recently and you deserved to be let in on a secret too."

He was so sweet. Like, tooth-rotting, Halloween candy stash hidden under a kid's bed, upset tummy sweet. She also couldn't get over the fact that he was a million times cuter when he was shy like he was being now, his voice soft and unsure. It contrasted vastly with the confident, loud-mouthed Dream everyone usually saw, though she liked that Dream too. She wished he could show his face for just one more second to see what he looked like shy. Probably sickeningly adorable.

This was it, wasn't it? The chance she had been waiting for to tell him her name? He just let her in on his biggest secret, now he was the one deserving to be let in.

"Y/n," she said with a confident, but soft voice.

There was a long pause. "W-what?"

"Y/n."

He understood the second time immediately. "Y/n..." he tested, the smile in his voice clear as day. "I like it."

"Yeah, well, I guess you deserved to know the secret too."

"I would have been content never knowing."

"Really?" She didn't believe him. He seemed like the type to never be satisfied, always looking for something better. Not in a greedy way, but in a motivational, goal-oriented big achiever way.

"Really," he hummed. "I already feel like you're too good to be true so I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't a real person."

It was silent as she tried to collect her thoughts.

"Bug? You okay?"

"Yeah, I... it's just a lot."

"Sorry."

"No, it's not you. Well... I don't know. I just don't know what I'm supposed to say when you say things like that," she admitted.

He paused. "I think you always have the perfect responses when I say things like that."

"What do I usually say?" She smiled shyly, pulling her hoodie up to her lips.

"You usually call me a nerd or say you can't stand me. 'Oh my gosh I cannot stand you'," he mimicked before laughing.

"What? How is that the perfect response to you saying you can't believe I'm real?"

He hummed and she could practically hear him shrugging. "Because it's a classic Bug response. It's a hundred perfect you. So yeah, it's perfect."

She was silent, trying to compose herself before she exploded.

"By the way, check Twitter."

"Why, are you bragging about me calling you hot?" she teased, hoping to make him blush like she had earlier. It worked.

"Oh my gosh, no. Just look."

She clicked her home button and navigated to the app, her feed instantly flooding with the same similar messages.

"Oh, my gosh," she muttered, her fingers flying away as she typed out her own tweet in response to the love.

Dream chuckled from the other end and when she asked him why, he vaguely said that George texted him but didn't explain further.

"Um, I have to go," she said mournfully. "Karl and Quackity are coming over again."

"Booooo," he pouted.

"Sorry, you aren't the only man in my life," she teased before instantly regretting her choice of words. Too flirty, Y/n, she thought to herself.

"Hm, shame. Am I at least at the top of the list?"

She bit her lips, wanting desperately to repeat what she had told him on their Minecraft date. In the end, she gave in. "I always mean what I say too," she started. "You're my main bitch, baby."

Dream made some sort of sound, a mix of a scoff and a whine but Y/n didn't comment on it, just glowing with heat in her cheeks.

"Leave before I don't let you," he said softly and the heat only grew.

"Goodnight, Dream," she pressed, the tone in her voice letting him know he was being a tease. "Thanks for... thanks for your tweet. And for everything you said earlier."

"Of course. Sorry that you have to see those kinds of things a lot."

"It's okay when I have people like you."

"People like me? What does that mean?"

"Just.... people like you." Cute, sweet, kind, genuine people who make her heart flutter.

She could hear his smile in his words and she figured he knew the unspoken words in her thoughts, the ones she was saying without saying. "Okay. Goodnight, Y/n."

"Goodnight."

**********

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[nerdycrusadecomputer]

Can you do bench trio reacts to reader having dyslexia? (All separate )

Of course i can! Sorry if this is a bit late, i have a lot going on with me having an exam like every day, its thankfully the weekend so I'm going to be able to finish all requests :D

In this reader is addressed as a friend but i will make a note on little things that change during your relationship so if you want this to be platonic you can skip the part that says during relationship:

The gender of the reader is never addressed, except in Tommy's part but i split it in to two sentences where it mentiones the words woman, man and pal

I made HC because i couldn't think of a story long enough

Key words:

Bench trio x reader (separate)

Warnings: none

Tommy 📀❤️🤍

First of all is how you met

You were in the middle of class in college, when he used to go to college, and you sat next to him in (class of your choice)

One day he decided to shoot his shot and sent you a note saying "hey how are you:) what's ur name btw"

You sent him a note back saying you were good/great/whatever and wrote your name incorrectly

Tommy just looked at you weirdly as in like 'this is your actual name?' kinda look

You worded out your name and he had this look of realization

And that's how you became friends

He would talk about you all the time like: oh guys i actually have a friend that is a WOMAN

Or if you are male he would yell: Oh guys i actually have a friend that is a MAN

Or if you're nonbinary he would yell: Oh guys i actually have a friend that is a PAL (i don't know what to use for nonbinary people so please correct me if I'm wrong ;-;)

He would never address that it was you to any of his online friends and twitch chat, but outside from them his irl friends all knew about you

He has your name in his contact like how you wrote it on the note the first time he talked to you :)

During relationship:

He would start sending you voice messages instead of text so that you would be able to understand him better :)

He would definitely change your name up a bit, like he would still keep your incorrectly spelled name but he would add like a heart or something

No doubt this man would read and write for you cuz he's that much of a simp, and when his irl friends bring it up he will completely deny it

Overall 10/10 would recommend

Tubbo 🐝💛

To start thing off, how you met

He was just hanging by the sea when someone sat down besides him, he looked to the side to see you

"oh sorry am i bothering you?"

"no no, not at all."

"okay, you were sitting alone and i thought you needid some company but i could leve if you want to." (I spelled the words incorrectly on purpose)

And from there on you chatted for the rest of the day, exchanged numbers and parted ways

And you chatted non stop from then on, through voice messages of course, so it was quicker for you guys to chat

Or if you were both completely free you would do voice calls of video calls

During relationship:

He would bring you cheesy short poems with like at least one word spelled incorrectly, but you still loved them (you better have loved them)

He would say your name incorrectly on purpose if he wanted to lighten to mood, and would talk so poorly that it sounded gibberish just to hear your sweet laugh :)

Again 10/10 would recommend

Ranboo 🖤🤍

First of all, how you met

He was just playing among us with his friends, and one player was missing

Aimsey said that she can add one of her friends and all of you agreed

She added you and from that point you and ranboo just clicked for some weird reason

Like he would stay with you during rounds even if he was a crewmate, just because he had free will, even when he was dead (in game ofc) his sould would follow you, and would would follow him :)

After the among us game you feed each other on discord and found out you live beer each other! (Just took with it on this one)

He had this whole meetup planned and when you did meetup you went to all kinds of places

You would just have a fun time :) (not in that way you pervs)

During relationship:

He would definitely read stories to you, or would just talk about lore all the time

Definitely preferes to cal you than to chat because it's easier for you and totally not because he wants to hear your beautiful voice

Either way 10/10 would recommend

Sorry if it took me a while, but here you go some bench trio HC :D

Hope you have a great day/ night/ afternoon

Bye!!!

[asavt]

Another cookie squad Headcanons

Featuring Sparkling, Vampire, cellphones and the Espresso and Madeleine Story of how they came together. Consider it an AU now baby!

-As a note, when I say the squad I'm mostly referring to the adults, so no worries about Walnut or Creampuff useless I mention them too

-Each one of the squad has been in Sparkling's bar at last once. There's no need to say who has been there the most. Sparkling has a time every time someone besides Roguefort comes, because to him it's mostly like "Oh I'll finally know the continuation to the burnt toast accident or maybe the cat catastrophe? Maybe a new POV of the--"

He practically knows a lot of what happens in between the squad.

-As another note, Sparkling's bar is called Milabo (You know, like the song from Zutomayo of the same name, which, btw, I relate a lot to Latte)

-*A great part of this “AU” is kind of inspired by the song. Part of its lyrics and vibe.

-Vampire is there most of the time when the squad visits the bar (it's almost as if he never leaves the bar and this is definitely not me low-key putting sparkvamp in this oh no--) Sometimes the fakes his sleep to listen to the things others say (Which is how he knows most of Rogue's pan-ic).

-Walnut has been in Sparkling's bar too, but at day and for case-solving purposes only. Sparkling will give her some alcohol-free drink for free sometimes (mostly because he gets along pretty well with the nut family and because Almond usually pays him whatever he serves her).

-If the squad had cellphones (and probably an app like discord because.), their group chat would initially be called "Coffee mage appreciation group" and then be changed to "Coffee bean appreciation group"

Coffee Bean: Can we please change the group name and mine?

Guided by the Devine: No <3

Coffee Bean: Fuck you.

-*And they all would dedicate half their time to make fun of Almond but with love.

-Espresso has been mistaken for a dark mage before by Almond. It was how they meet actually. Almond had pulled him to interrogate him and got a long lecture on the differences between black magic and coffee magic.

-Madeleine gets along rather well with Roguefort. Rogue seems impressed by Maddie’s acting skills.

-Madeleine is currently living with Espresso. Out of his armor most of the time. He usually takes care of keeping the house clean and preparing meals (He never really had to cook before but the first dish he made wasn’t bad at all). Sometimes he will tag along Almond in the detective’s work, or Almond will ask for his help.

-I’m still unsure if I want the Almond/Roguefort/Latte to be romantic or platonic. But honestly? Both are good. Latte is pretty close to Almond and Roguefort but not in the way she is with Espresso (that makes them look like siblings jkashduawhu). Perhaps I’ll keep it platonic.

-The Espresseleine/Madespresso story of how they came together, because I seem to not be able to write it down JSHALDHUIWADWA-

--It happens after the Puppet Show mini quest. Madeleine starts to ask for Espresso's "assistance" in different mission that are given to him. Angel is there too, of course.

--During these missions is that Essy clarifies that no, they are not friends, no, he does not like Madeleine. Bringing up the knight begin too prideful and self-centered if not all then most of the time.

--Is not until one of their missions goes wrong, were Angel is knocked out and Espresso (seeing and knowing that if Madeleine is knocked down too they might not be able to go back to the kingdom ever) pretty much receives a rather big attack for Madeleine is that he kind realizes the facts given by espresso true. All while he is carrying Essy and Angel back to the kingdom, running and exhausted too.

--Clover begin kind of a mediator between the two (I want to see more of my son--)

--"Devine, protect us" Should happen too after this. An scenario like, Madeleine coming to think something like "I'm the shield, the one who goes on the front line and receives the blows for those who can't, always looking straight ahead... but if I am doing that then who watches my back? Who do I rely on and trust to take care of most enemies so the damage received is not overwhelming...?"

Power of team work baby!!!

--As a note to this, Maddie getting his cape damaged as well as his hair. So, you get short hair Maddie~

(I've been drawing him with short hair in secret now I have an excuse to show)

-- "You...cut your hair..." *Madeleine touches the points of it with one of his hands, pensive* "...pft it'll grow back!"

--There's also this "Search for your own light" thing between Angel and Maddie. Angel encouraging Madeleine to do so. Maybe Madeleine giving his best wishes to them for their wish to fly before they decide to part ways.

--Madeleine trying other ways to befriend Essy. Which at first Espresso mistaken as the knight usual attempts to befriend anyone he sees out of habit and attention seeking, but once they realize the feeling is completely genuine, Espresso is rather perplexed.

--"You can't just befriend people by buying them gifts (although I do appreciate them)" "Then what?" "hmm..."

--Said gifts used to be rather expensive things, simple though. Eventually Madeleine settles to just pass by Espresso's place, give him any food he had bought that day (which usually is glazed donuts), ask if he needs any help with something (getting a vase, materials, moving things), and if not then he just says his good byes, best wishes and silently leaves. (A note on the "silently leaves": Madeleine is pretty much used to speak loudly and enter loudly anywhere, he still does this at this point, but when it's about Espresso he is a bit more quiet, a bit showy over his entrances still, but less loud, and he actually knocks the door)

--Madeleine eventually manages to go out with Espresso to other places that aren't some place in the forest full of enemies. Probably after some more visits to his place and more calm talks between the two, Madeleine brings up that Espresso tends to act a bit cold or distant towards a lot of people, and that, although he understands his discomfort at begin in public spaces or too long out of his work, he should try and open up a bit. This reminds Essy of a certain friend he hasn't seen in some time, and from whom he keeps getting letters.

--Shenanigans.

--There's still some bickering between the two, always with a playful undertone though.

--Espresso explains Madeleine, one time the knight has gotten Espresso wrapped in a blanket burrito again and got him to bed, that sometimes, no matter how tired he might feel, he is simply unable to sleep. Part of a headcanon of mine that coffee magic has this side effect on it's users, prolonged usage of this kind of magic will induce a high caffeine kind of state, which on the long run can fuck up the user's sleep schedule. Madeleine understands this, but remains stubborn about keeping Espresso in the bed so at last he can get some rest from his work and clear his mind a little, the idiot falls asleep in the process and Espresso doesn't try to wake him up.

--This happens several times after, neither of them thinking of the implications of not begin bothered by the sudden closeness they share until it's too late.

--Espresso realizes first that he has slowly, yet nicely, fallen for Madeleine. I think I talked about this before but I'll do it again: Is in one of the times Madeleine has gotten Espresso to bed to get some rest, Espresso not begin able to fall asleep and Madeleine doing again. Is while he thinks of how he has gotten to know Madeleine for real, not the Knight Commander from a noble family or the Chosen by the Devine, but as he is, that he comes to think that "Ah.... I love him" and he remains calm about it.

--Espresso doesn't overthink it, just thinks that, if Madeleine ever got an interest in him, he would surely show it. So he waits. Even if in the end his feelings aren't mutual he knows he'll do just fine remaining friends.

--Madeleine realizes not many days after. And the realization hits him like a truck. Alone in his place and probably in bed looking at the ceiling thinking about Espresso. Once he realizes and thinks about it a bit more his face gets all red and chooses to scream in the pillow.

--He would think about telling Espresso as soon as he can, after all, he doesn't want his feelings to make their friendship weird. He values it, a lot. Maybe because his friendship with Espresso it's the first one where he genuinely wanted to become friends with someone.

--Espresso takes the confession calmly, gets all flustered after they kiss for the first time.

--As a few extras of this: Madeleine goes back to the Republic, asked to be seen by his family and Espresso goes to Parfedia, where a few students have applied to his class to his surprise. When they see each other again is at Parfedia (Madeleine sending a message to Espresso beforehand about his arrival) -there was this one drawing I did once of Maddie running to hug Espresso, something like that happens-. Madeleine gets very clingy for some reason, which they speak later and comes out as “Home doesn’t quite feel like home…” “Why is that?” “I don’t know… maybe I’ve become used to be around you”

--Espresso lets ends up letting Madeleine stay with him until he either feels like returning to the Republic or is called back, whatever happens first (though none will happen for maybe a year or a little more).

--Ends with Madeleine meeting Latte and Almond.

[bloodpenned]

plz plz plz can you write m!whitney skullfucking pc

wordcount: 2.5k (can’t believe this is the first time i write an actual fic on here.) cw: noncon, detailed ero guro / gore porn, eye trauma, drugging, knives, vomit mention, needle mention, degradation, victim blaming.

or: whitney fucks your eye socket and prepares you for the act. don’t read this to upset or trigger yourself, please.

Since all of your holes have been used by others, Whitney makes one for himself.

“Look at you- You can barely keep your fucking head up, slut.”

The voice drifts to you from far away, a figure leaning over the ice you’re trapped under. Where am I?, you ask, but all your vocal cords produce is a gurgle. Your limbs are made of cement and frozen in place. Letting yourself be dragged back into the depths of unconsciousness is much easier than staying afloat. Through trembling eyelids, you barely make out the shape of the person in front of you. Their legs, to be precise. Pain shoots through your scalp and you jolt, finally present enough for the ties around your wrists and ankles to register in your mind, the cold wall you’re leaning against. That it’s Whitney, because who fucking else would it be, yanking you up by your hair. Your tongue still refuses to move. 

“Follow.” His voice feigns disinterest. Yet he keeps shuffling, leaning his weight more on one leg, then the other again. He holds his hand in front of your face, moving it from side to side. Your head is so fuzzy you see no reason to disobey. By the time you’ve caught up with him to the right, he’s already back the other way. Your eyelids droop. He laughs. “God, you’re out of it. Poor you, did I gave you a little too much? You can’t say I’ve ever underestimated you.”

As soon as his grip loosens, your head drops and black dots litter your vision. Drool spills from your mouth. Something bad is about to happen, there’s no other explanation for this. His hands will end up all over your body again. But there’s no chatter of his friends, no flashes of cameras, so different from the usual that you don’t know what to expect. The world fades out, before flickering back in the middle of a sentence.

“...pay me back. Got that? Good.” The hand is back in your hair, keeping you steady. He’s digging around in his pocket. “If you weren’t such a whore, I wouldn’t have to do this. Did you think I wouldn’t see those pictures? Wouldn’t know when my slut’s gagging around someone else? I promised I would beat some sense into you if you didn’t listen, so here we are.”

Whitney’s found what he had been looking for. There’s something in his hand, moving toward your face too quickly to make out. Everything’s so blurry that even while squinting, you can’t immediately tell what it is. You nearly go crosseyed trying to figure it out. A handle clenched in his fist, gray, reflecting surface, ending in a sharp point-

A knife.

“You’re a fucking cumbrain already, but I’ll give you one too.”

You watch the situation unfold from the back of your skull. This is happening to someone else, anyone except you. It’s a movie, and a bad one at that. You can’t pinch your arm to wake yourself up. Whitney had hurt you before, sure, with his bare hands. Never like this. He’s always made fun of Kylar for having to resort to knives, why would he use one now? Is it just a threat? It has to be. Then again, you’re so disoriented you don’t stand a sliver of a chance against him. Your heart hammers against your ribcage, so loud it makes your head throb. The furthest your abilities go is to shake your head and force a whimper from your throat, rubbing your wrists raw on the zip tie. Whitney presses cold steel against your cheek. You try to spit at him, but you can’t put any force behind it. It dribbles down your chin in a slow stream. 

Whitney barks out a laugh. “What the fuck are you, a dog?” The knife digs into your skin, a gentle push away from slicing you open. “Don’t get to get too excited yet, we haven’t even started, slut.” He slides the blade up to your bottom eyelid, leaving a shallow cut. (Your brain is fuzzy. Your cheeks are warm, burning- Are you blushing? Is the wetness rolling down your face a tear?) Your fingers twitch, your teeth grind together, every muscle pulled tight like a bowstring. 

His breathing is laboured, eyes boring into yours, expression blank for a mere moment. Whitney, as you know him from school, is all but empty. He’s of scoffing and snarling, of laughter and grins- This is nothing you recognize. Your gut twists. Every instinct in your body is screeching at the top of its lungs for you to run. At the same time, another part tells you to stay as still as possible, as if you will simply fade out of existence if you don’t move. (But it’s okay, because none of this is real, and you’re at the orphanage in bed curled up under the covers, and you’ll wake up late and rush to get your uniform to not miss the bus and you’ll be fine, you’ll be fine, you’ll be fine-) Whitney’s tongue darts out to trace his upper lip, his fingers turning white around the handle. 

The next, there is a blow of air against your eye before pure, indescribable agony accompanied by a wet squelch. You’re dying, you’re dying, you’re dying, it’s over- Half of your face has been blown off, your brain is exposed for all to see and poke and prod, your lungs collapse with every breath, your throat spasms around vomit. What’s left of your right side of vision is a red and black pulsating blur. The screams, the sole outburst you’re capable of, are mere groans in the back of your throat. Your mouth opens and closes like a fish on land. Blood, sweat, tears, pus, slime- You wouldn’t know. Something oozes down your face, thick mucus, making a mess on your lap. You’re warm, you’re cold, sweat thick underneath your clothes. Everything is wet. Everything is hot.

A hand is on your head, stroking. The sensation dissapears into and becomes one with the pain, the thing that melts everything else away. “There you go, you’re being so good! But I’m not done yet.” He speaks to you in the tone reserved purely for dogs. From the corner of your good eye, you can see him reaching his fist back and pounds it against the handle, your entire world dissolving into nothing as it hits.

When you wake up, you do so to a palpitating heart that’s skipping beats left and right, to a convulsing body, to spit frothing at your mouth and a needle in your leg. The gag in your mouth rubs against your tongue and tastes of sweat. Whitney has discorded the knife, left it at your feet. Your eyeball looks like scrambled egg white on one end, a sloppy mess, and you gag. At one point or another, you will have to come to term with the fact that you’re never going to see from it again.

“Can’t have you leaving before the party’s started.” Your head whips around, the sensation of something sloshing inside your eye socket immediately making you regret it. Wind blows straight into the wound and causes you to ear up. He’s on your right. Somewhere. What you assume to be the syringe falls to the ground with a clatter. There’s no way he isn’t standing there, in the void he created, on purpose. You would’ve preferred to be really fucking dead right now. Let him rape your corpse, at least you wouldn’t have to be there to notice it. Whatever he injected you with, it’s all so much sharper now. The lights are brighter, every little step he takes ringing in your ears, your right eye (or the slurry that’s left of it) aflame. You rock back and forth to shuffle further away from him, but you’re already backed against a wall and the movement makes the blood in your skull slosh alongside it.

“Gotta check if you’re wet enough for me. Thank me later, slut.” Whitney pulls on your eyelashes, the tip of his finger teasing the hole. Once in a while, it dips into the wound, your nerves tingling in anticipation at the near touch. Breath hitching every time, your brain can’t comprehend what’s exactly happening to you. Your heart pounds in your ears, your limbs keep twitching against your will. Now that you can, you want to struggle, but you’re so scared of that pain, terrified that he could choose to take the other one as well.

All you want is for this to be over. You just want to be home. As flawed of a home it is, it’s still the one place you can think to return to. (Robin will be there, waiting for you. They always have. Could you still keep up with them during games, now that you’re like this? Bailey’s presence, suffocating as it is, at least keeps you safe from intruders. How pissed off are they going to be, now that you're a damaged ware?)

“Can’t you sit still for one fucking second? You wanna know what it feels like when I slip so badly?” Your head jerks to the side against your will, foot hitting his ankle. “I guess you do, huh? But, fuck- You keep writhing around, maybe I should give the needy whore what they want. You’re soaked, that’s for sure.”

Whitney pulls away, his fingers coated a pale red. Using your hair as a rag, he smears the fluids in it, tugging on it once for good measure. He takes a step back, descends back outside your field of vision. There’s the rustling of fabric, unbuckling of a belt, a zipper being undone. You begin to plead through your gag, repeating muffled, incomprehensible words, because please, anything but this, not right now, not ever, hasn’t he done enough, isn’t he satisfied, he’s already ruined you enough, please, just please-

“It’s cute you think you have a choice.”

There’d been a nagging suspicion in the back of your head that it would come down to this. Every meeting with Whitney would end up leading down the same path, but this time... You choke on your breaths, chest heaving with sobs. With every shock of your shoulders, more heat leaks out of your eyes, your entire face turning into one throbbing mess. You squeeze your eyes shut. (There’s no way you can move the right eyelid, the knife has torn straight through it. All it is now is limp meat, hanging on by a thread.) His dick presses against your cheek. Fucking hell, why does he have to be so big too? There’s ringing in your ears as he leaves a trail of precum, mingling with the mess already there. His scent overpowered by the metallic smell of blood. Why can’t you just pass out again? But you’re still twitching, thoughts racing faster than you can keep track of.

“You’ve been asking for this, don’t try to deny it. I’m not stupid. Well, you’ve got my attention now. You better be grateful.” He misses the first time, the head of his dick rubbing against your eyebrow. Whitney curses underneath his breath. Trembling fingers tug your eyelids as far apart as possible and you hate it, you hate this so fucking much, you want someone to come by here to save you, you want to sink through the floor, you want to die.

He sucks in a breath through grit teeth, and hits his mark. You’re not sure how much he crammed inside your skull, but all of it was too much, too cruel. The screaming is clear through your bounds, raking your throat raw. Whichever way you move, his cock stays lodged in between the bone. The muscles snap and tear, the bones crack, the flesh, like the tight fit that it is, clings around his dick, and he groans as he pushes himself further inside. An impossible amount of more fat and mucus and slime comes free, clogging your nose. The back of your head slams against the wall with every movement, but it doesn’t hurt, doesn’t compare. 

There’s nothing else. There can be nothing else. Your mind is full and empty at the same time. He’s all you can think about, he’s fucking the memory of him into your brain, leaving his permanent mark. Is this what he wanted? You’re being dissected, pulled apart, the creases of your brain violated. He’s saying things, (tight, mess, slut, enjoying, loud.), but he’s pulling out and the scrape of the warm flesh makes the scenery blur. Your throat feels like it was pulled across sandpaper.

The pressure dissipates and you cry in pure relief. But, a moment later, he’s back in and down a slightly different path at a slightly different angle and there’s more snapping, more gushes of fluid. The only thing that will ever fit there again will be him. The perfect little cocksleeve. He’s pushing up against something and you don’t know what, but every time he twitches and brushes against it, your entire vision blacks out. Where the pain reached a crescendo before, it’s turned around to be almost numbing now. Are your nerves torn up? Are you dying?

“Open your mouth. Wait, fuck-” He’s breathless, stuttering over his words. His dick twitches and scrapes against bone. Trembling fingers remove the gag from your mouth. If this were literally any other situation, you might have been almost proud to have turned him into such a wreck. “Stick your tongue out and it’ll be over. Done.”

You latch onto those words like a lifeline. No matter how it ends, you just want it to be over. Without much more than a second of delay you do as he asks, your good eye rolling up to try and look at him. Considering how full your head is, you hardly notice the strings of cum being added to the pool, until some of it leaks through your nose and onto your tongue. He puts one hand on your head, shaking it until more follows. (Though his cum isn’t the only thing there.)

Strings of blood and slime stick to his dick like drool as he pulls out. You hate him. You hate yourself. You hate this fucking town, and you hate every piece of shit in it. Your brain is a cacophony of screaming, of visions of growing fangs and claws and tearing him to shreds, of burning this whole town down. All you do is stare up without really looking, eyes glazed over. You’re tired, so unbelievably tired. All you want to do is rest, even if it’s while bleeding out in some shitty alleyway. His voice drifts to you from far away, smile clear in his tone.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

An eye for an eye has never sounded so appealing before.

[thebiscuiteternal]

Since the exchange reveal was today, I can finally cross-post this here.

“A Working Relationship” Sci-Fi AU, Artificial Intelligence, Secret Histories, Intrigue, Finding Your Place (and getting a crush on your android boss)

__________

“I don’t care how smart he is, you’re not putting a Jin on this ship!”

His first reaction is a flush of anger. The second is a barely-smothered explosion of laughter.

In all the insults he’d borne over his parentage in his lifetime, this had to be the first time in… well… ever that it was his father’s side being disparaged.

But when he peeks around the corner and sees who’s arguing with the Admiral, he immediately understands why.

The speaker is a perso-core droid.

Meng Yao has no illusions about the treatment of the droids custom-ordered by the ports his father owns. He’s even met some of them, when they came to drop off another meagre payment to his mother. Delicate, beautiful dolls designed for little more than to be stared at… or played with.

Easily broken, and just as easily replaced.

His still healing ribs give a throb. He can relate to the feeling.

He can use it, too, he realizes, a plan coming together in the back of his mind as he watches the pair bicker.

“Excuse me.”

They both turn at the sound of his voice, and the droid’s eyes narrow, photoreceptors and the light patterns decorating his body briefly shading closer to red than their usual pale green. He’s reasonably sure that if that long dark hair and silver skin weren’t synthetic, he’d be bristling like an offended Firenian Raptor Cat.

It’s an uncomfortably attractive look.

He immediately squashes that thought, then bows, carefully emphasizing the stiff discomfort of the motion. “I apologize for causing any discord. It’s true that my father is Jin Guangshan, but I have no association with the company, nor the ports that it owns.”

“You approached him for work two stationary cycles ago,” the droid says, voice tinged with suspicion.

He had been made aware his background had been searched from the moment he’d been identified as a Jin, however, so he is ready for that. “My late mother desperately wished for me to join the family business. His, of course, not hers. But visiting him has proven to be a mistake. It’s clear now that my father has a very similar opinion of his illegitimate children as he does his droids.”

He opens one of the side panels of his flight suit to show off the bruises that still prominently mottle his skin despite two visits to a medical ward he could afford.

It’s the briefest flicker-flash, a barest twitch of synthetic musculature that most people wouldn’t notice on a human, much less a droid. But the reaction is there, and he can feel the emotional shift in the air as the droid and the Admiral look at each other, the argument between them now silent instead of snapped.

After a few moments that surely feel longer than they actually are, the droid makes a noise that would have been a huff from anyone with lungs and turns away. “One full planetary rotation,” he grumbles, then stalks away down the hall.

If the droid means the planet they’re currently in orbit over, that’s thirty days by the timers in the ports. “Is that to be my entire billet?” he asks cautiously, not wanting to let it sound like a complaint.

Admiral Nie shakes his head. “Probationary period. If Sang-er declares you a fit for Baxia’s crew by then, we’ll re-draw your contract for a more formal position.”

“You value his opinion very highly,” Meng Yao says, careful to keep his tone neutral, lest the Admiral think he’s probing.

Which he is, but-

“As well I should. He's been serving with our ships since before I was born, after all; he knows the fleets inside and out down to the last fastening and half-byte of data."

Something about the way the Admiral says that lingers in the back of his mind even as he’s herded down to the ship’s infirmary to have his ribs properly treated. It’s hardly uncommon for the owners of a particularly well-made droid to brag about them, but to his ear it sounds… odd.  

Less like an owner pleased with his possession and more like a younger brother proud of his elder.

He’s finished settling into his cabin, what few things he owns unpacked and stowed away, when something twigs in his brain.

Sang-er.

It couldn’t possibly be what he’s thinking… could it?

---

The first week of Meng Yao’s temporary new job starts with a surprise and ends with a realization.

Given his prior experiences with employers and Sang-er’s clear dislike of him, he braces himself for the bottom of the heap and jobs like cleaning over-boiled acid out of engine cells. Instead, Sang-er puts him through a mentally grueling -and yet actually somewhat satisfying- examination of his skills, then unceremoniously shoves him straight into financial work.

Tracking numbers and allocating data has always been something he could do in his sleep if he so wished; though he doesn’t exactly let his mind wander, the tasks are easy enough that they allow him space to observe.

He wasn’t wrong, he decides, in pegging the relationship between his human boss and his mechanical one as being something akin to siblings.

Which really only lends further credence to the theory his other observations are steadily building.

Observations like how Sang-er is simply too advanced for a perso-core droid. He sifts and sorts information, skimming star maps and calculating alterations via hard-light illusions generated from his own body, and does it all with a speed and ease that should have overtaxed him a hundred times over. Small-droid cores simply aren’t designed to hold or process that much information that fast.

But a ship’s core, on the other hand…

When he’d been small, a friend of his mother’s had dreamed of one day leaving and joining the Qinghe fleets, drawn by the near legendary status of Nie Zhuyun and her ship Huaisang. A captain so sharp and daring and a ship so clever and nimble that people claimed she had somehow bonded her mind to the core to make them a perfect symbiosis.

How many of the tales his mother’s friend told were true were arguable, but what had been true was that when the Wen Chancellor had finally succeeded in his near singleminded obsession to have the ship destroyed, its core had never been found in the wreckage.

Nie Mingjue had said that Sang-er had been serving the fleet since before his birth, but that didn’t mean it had always been in the same body.

And then there is the second most important observation: Sang-er never leaves Baxia.

He’d been unsure about that one at first. Even though they are docked, most of the crew remain onboard a good portion of the time. But after a few days of watching, it has become clear that while even the Admiral occasionally goes out into the port for one bit of business or another, Sang-er stays on board at all times, sometimes with some gentle but pointed reminding on the Admiral’s part.

As if the droid is being purposely kept hidden.

And he can guess from whom. His father has a very good business relationship with Wen Ruohan; even though the ship is docked in a port that isn’t directly owned by the Jin family, there’s a fairly large presence of both Jin and Wen contingents. If he’s right, and Sang-er really is a reconstruction of Huaisang’s core-

He stiffens, then reaches out to stop the flow of numbers he’d been monitoring.

When he had gone to that first medical ward… there had been…

He closes his eyes and sucks in a sharp breath, then lets it out slowly.

"There a problem?" a nearby officer asks.

"No, sir. Just needed a moment for the eyes," Meng Yao says, and then gets back to work.

---

His thoughts nag at him for the rest of the designated day hours and follow him into his bed that night. They’re still plucking at his nerves the next morning, annoying him enough that he barely touches the breakfast he would have gladly stolen -maybe even committed violence to get- from a rich man’s table not too long ago.

If he's right, then he has inadvertently picked up some information that would be extremely valuable to the Admiral and Sang-er.

But to use that information, he will have to do something he absolutely despises.

Tell everything.

There is no safety in full disclosure. Keeping things close to his chest had been the only way he’d survived the arduous journey between the port he’d grown up in and the central hub where his father resides.

But Sang-er has already proven very capable when it comes to checking up on those he does not trust. If he withholds anything that he overheard, and Sang-er finds out he’d done so, then being ousted from the ship is probably the best thing he could expect.

And… he... likes it here.

It’s hard to admit that, even just in his own mind. He’s only been employed on Baxia for a week.

And yet something in his heart just settles at the idea of staying here in a way he can’t remember feeling in years. The Admiral checks up on his wellbeing. His other crewmates treat him as his station befits. He’s comfortable in the jobs he’s been assigned. Even Sang-er -for all the droid’s aversion to him- judges his work fairly and takes his opinions into genuine consideration. Comparing the crew he’s found himself with to the tittering sycophants who’d taken such glee in watching his father reject him-

He bites his tongue to stop the flow of bitterness before it becomes overwhelming and clouds his thoughts.

The point is that, for the first time in a very long time, he has found himself a place he does not want to give up.

If that means having to lay all his cards on the table, then… then fine.

He reaches a point in his tasks that he can safely pause for lunch, but instead of going down to the dining hall, he goes looking for Sang-er.

---

After more than a little unsure wandering and some eventual directions from a couple of helpful crewmates, Meng Yao finds the droid in question in one of the small-ship hangars, surrounded by a star map and several of their scout pilots.

For a moment, his breath catches in his throat.

In the dim lighting of the hangar, Sang-er's eyes and the geometric designs decorating his form glow brighter, mingling with the reflective light of the illusory stars against silvery skin. With one fingertip, he draws flight paths and points of interest, directing models of their ships less like he is ordering soldiers and more as if he is conducting dancers.

It’s hard not to stare, and in that moment he understands better some of the particulars of the information he’s about to relay.

Drawing up his nerve, he straightens his back and approaches the knot of people just in time for the lights to come back up and the star map to vanish into the palm of Sang-er’s hand. A couple of the younger scouts wave to him, drawing the droid’s attention in his direction.

“Please excuse me if I’m interrupting anything, but may we speak in private?” he asks quickly, before any potential judgements can be made.

Sang-er regards him silently, expression completely neutral, then tilts his head in acquiescence. “You’ve all got your assignments,” he says to the scouts. “See you in fourteen days.”

“Yes, sir!”

“Follow me,” Sang-er says as he turns on his heel, and Meng Yao obeys.

Their destination turns out to be the hangar manager’s office, or what would have been the hangar manager’s office if they didn’t have Sang-er. The doors close behind them with a swish and click, but Meng Yao barely hears it over his own heartbeat.

He swallows hard as he watches the droid lean against the desk.

Okay.

All cards on the table.

"Wen Ruohan knows that you're Huaisang."

Sang-er doesn’t flinch or stiffen or show any other reaction that would give away a human but, like their first meeting, Meng Yao feels the subtle shift around them. "Interesting. And you've come to this conclusion because…?"

It’s not an outright denial. No automatic accusations of wild imaginations or delusions or… anything like that. Just a quiet demand to show his work, like the evaluations before. Meng Yao can’t help but find it oddly soothing for this to be treated as nothing more than a basic report despite the severity of what he’s revealing.

“There’s a specific medical ward in the district of Koi Port that most of the residents pretend doesn’t exist. At the time I was… dismissed, it was the only one I could afford to visit. One of the other patients there was complaining that a job for the Wens had been taken from him and handed over to shifters employed by the Jins.”

That gets a visible reaction as Sang-er’s hands clench on the edge of the desk he’s leaning on.

It’s an entirely understandable response. Shifters are the worst of the worst when it comes to orchestrating and carrying out the theft of high-end droids, and their services don’t come cheap at all. For someone like Wen Ruohan, who already has so much power of his own, to enlist them from another company…

Well, the implication is clear.

“Go on,” Sang-er says, and Meng Yao doesn’t fail to notice the tension that’s entered his voice.

“He didn’t specifically describe the target, but he did mention it was aboard the flagship of the Qinghe fleet, and that the backer had ordered it to be captured fully intact, or else. No offense to any of the other droids here, but there’s no one other than you who could possibly garner that kind of demand. And no other reason why Wen Ruohan would make it.”

“I see.” Sang-er’s expression still hasn’t changed, but the words are decidedly even more clipped. “And what price would a Jin expect for information like this?”

There’s the suspicion that he’s been waiting for.

All cards on the table, Meng Yao reminds himself for what may be the tenth time. Or the twentieth, he admittedly has lost track. If he doesn’t remain honest now, he stands to lose everything.

He allows himself one more nervous swallow before answering. “I don’t know… probably something obscene, honestly. I want to be extended to a full contract.”

“And?”

“That’s it.”

Sang-er blinks at him, unable to catch the surprise from flickering across his face quickly enough, though it’s quickly schooled away. “That’s it,” he repeats, arching one eyebrow disbelievingly.

“You’ve already given me nearly everything I was looking for when I originally went to meet my father. I want to keep that,” Meng Yao says. “The rest… I will come to terms with eventually.”

There’s no immediate response, and the silence stretches uncomfortably between them as Sang-er appraises his words and everything else. It’s hard not to squirm under the stare.

Then Sang-er’s expression visibly softens, and the sight nearly knocks the wind out of him, it catches him so off guard .

Oh, that’s just not fair.

He quickly recovers, standing straight as Sang-er pushes himself away from the desk and walks past him.

“Well, come on, then,” the droid says, and he absolutely does not shiver at the new warmth in his voice.

“Where are we going now?”

“To give my recommendation to Mingjue and have you moved to more permanent quarters. And then we will start planning to deal with this new development.”

We will start planning, he says.

Meng Yao finds he very much likes the sound of that.

[intrulogical]

Worthy

author’s note: i will never, ever write a fanfiction ever again. ever. but anyway, this fanfic is just logan angst and remus helping him, and i never typically write stuff but i just like logan angst this much. BIG THANKS to the logang discord for beta reading (oh my poor tenses). specifically, big thanks to: elle, aj, jem, orb, ellie, anders, mac, reese, roan, remy, zippy and everyone else who read it before i got to post it! (i'm not sure if you read it but shoutouts to meg and lo too bc you two are cool)

pairings: Remus/Logan (can be viewed platonically or romantically)

warnings: Logan angst, morally ambiguous light sides & Thomas (I aimed it to be canon compliant but the sides are still Rude), glitching, self-deprecation, self-neglect, self-doubt, bruises, emotional breakdown, self confidence issues, crying

word count: 6242

summary: Remus stood nervously in front of Logan’s door, hesitant to knock as he held an ice pack in hand.

It was ridiculous, really. Remus wasn’t one who’d typically provide comfort for someone, but he couldn’t help but wrap his mind around what he saw earlier.

or,

Remus underestimates how neglected Logan is and attempts to help.

(ao3 link)

Remus stood nervously in front of Logan’s door, hesitant to knock as he held an ice pack in hand.

It was ridiculous, really. Remus wasn’t one who’d typically provide comfort for someone, but he couldn’t help but wrap his mind around what he saw earlier. 

While it had been some days since the episode was filmed, the tension that scattered the Mindscape was still incredibly thick. The general atmosphere had been so impossibly unnerving that even Remus felt discouraged to execute any pranks he had in mind because he was just that bothered. Even the “Light” Sides’ daily routine shifted. Remus hadn’t seen them do a Movie Night or eat meals together for a while, and despite how uninvolved Remus was with their problems, it disturbed him to no end. 

Something even more worrisome was what Remus had witnessed during dinner some time ago. While the sides didn’t gather during dinner like they used to, Patton still prepared meals for them to eat. Sadly, the sides refused to eat as a group and would simply grab a plate of what Patton prepared and walk right back into their room. Earlier, Remus joined Janus in grabbing something for themselves, and coincidentally, they ran into an uncharacteristically unkempt Logan.

As Remus was about to jab at how incredibly unlike himself he looked, he noticed something off about Logan’s neck-- there was a large splotch of fresh, discolored bruising that coated it. Janus and Remus both shared the same sentiment as they gazed at the logical side in unease, but Logan quickly detached himself from the scene, making a beeline for his room.

There was no mistaking it-- those bruises that covered Logan’s neck were identical to the bruises Remus witnessed manifesting right after Janus violently pulled Logan out of the episode using his cane. As the sides weren’t technically human, some of their injuries heal more quickly than usual, but their healing powers were heavily dependent on how much Thomas acknowledged their worth as a side. One would think it odd that Remus would be informed of the semantics of how a side’s health works, but as a “Dark” Side, he was well acquainted with how physical injuries would heal slower as Thomas didn’t value them as important as the “Light” Sides. 

And honestly, it was quite concerning that Logan, one of the more important “Light” Sides, suffered the same kind of neglect that Remus was experiencing.

Maybe that’s why Remus stood in front of Logan’s door. The realization that Logan was just as disregarded as him unexpectedly yet intensely haunted his mind. Despite how different Logan and Remus were in terms of personality, they shared striking similarities with one another, from the way they were treated by others to how talkative they both were. The thought of how Remus related immensely to Logan’s struggles resonated with him, and while he obviously couldn’t forget how poorly they treated each other in the past, he still aimed to mend their relationship for it to become more durable.

After much stalling and lip biting, Remus rose his hand and rapped on Logan’s door frantically. Remus couldn’t help himself; his nervousness mixed with his unending concern amplified his jitteriness. From the other side of the door, he heard a yelp from Logan.

“I apologize, I’m currently working, so I cannot accompany whoever--”

“Do you really think that’s going to stop me from barging in, Mark Zucker-turd?” Remus retorted, earning a disgruntled sound from Logan.

“Remus,” Logan said, sounding exasperated, “Can’t you simply forget about what you’ve witnessed a few moments ago? I assure you that I’ve got everything under--”

“Again, do you think anything you say is gonna stop me from barging in?” Remus replied. Logan was silent for a few moments. Once silent, there were a few things Remus didn’t notice before he knocked. On the other side of the door, Remus heard soft whispers as if there were imps scattered around Logan’s room speaking to him, maybe mocking him. While the voices were hushed, they spoke in unison, yet nothing about it sounded like a symphonic harmony.

Eventually, Logan replied, “Do you really have to?”

“Well, no, I suppose not, but none of my visits ever have a purpose behind them, do they?” Remus said, then continued with, “I also brought some ice.”

He heard a sigh coming from Logan, “Fine, you may enter, but I strictly prohibit you from staying for more than five--!”

Remus didn’t allow Logan to finish his sentence before slamming the door open with some vigorous force. Logan jolted at his thunderous entrance, even dropping his pen from the suddenness of it. Remus grinned widely at the logical side, shutting the door quickly as he sauntered toward Logan. “Catch,” Remus said, tossing the ice pack at Logan, and impressively, Logan caught it.

“Thank you,” Logan said in a deadpan tone, immediately pressing the ice pack against his livid bruises, “but you didn’t have to do that.” Logan finished and turned away from Remus to continue his work after he retrieved his dropped pen.

Remus was about to retort with some witty insult before the voices that Remus heard from outside began to chime in again, this time more audible as Remus was inside Logan’s room. Allowing himself to stay silent for a few moments, he decided to listen to the voices that echoed through Logan’s mess of a room. The whispers were just as overwhelming as Remus expected them to be; all of their voices synced together inharmoniously, creating an ear-piercing, bothersome noise.

“Pardon Thomas’s thoughts. I understand that they can be… overbearing, at times.” Logan said, noticing Remus’s disturbed expression, “They’re usually not this clamorous but Thomas has been deeply troubled lately— I’m sure you can understand. Then again, I’m assuming this is tame compared to your room, yes?”

“Well, yea, but there are definitely more voices in your room compared to mine. I’d rather listen to a kindergarten being burned down rather than this crap.” Remus stated. 

“That is a lovely image to picture, Remus.” Logan said sarcastically.

“You’re welcome, Dick-ola Tesla.” Remus replied, earning a tired huff from Logan. “What are you doing, by the way? Y’know Thomas isn’t planning to devote any time this week to work on something-- self-care and all that jazz.”

Logan whipped his head around, shooting Remus an incredulous look, “You are aware that I am in charge of Thomas’s memories, right? I’ve had to postpone my work for a few days for… confidential reasons. Because of that, I have to reorganize everything at this moment before the workload becomes too overwhelming.” Logan paused before continuing, “Not that I’d become distressed, of course. I find it rather exhilarating, actually… not that you care, anyway.”

“What?” Remus exclaimed, “No! No, all is good— it looks like you needed someone to talk to, anyway—“

“I was performing quite adequately without your company earlier, Remus.” Logan’s tone remained unwaveringly monotonous.

“Yeah, your gigantic bruise totally proves that,” Remus retorted and Logan stopped writing, “Are you trying to summon Janus or something? Look,” Remus fiddled with his sleeves, “I’m not one who usually provides comfort, I mean—“

“I do not need to be comforted.” Logan sneered.

“When did Thomas stop listening to you?” Remus decided to cut to the chase. The question must’ve set something off within Logan because Remus could hear the sound of paper crinkling. Remus decided to approach Logan to better converse with him, and that’s only when he noticed that Logan had ripped out a page from his notepad and crumpled it in fury.

“What, hit a nerve, dork?” Remus asked, but Logan still refused to look at him directly.

“Thomas still listens to me,” Logan said, but like the expression he had at the moment, his tone was doubtful, unconfident, maybe even mixed with a little bit of hurt. It pained Remus to see him in such denial, and his eyebrows even knit in concern as he observed that Logan’s hand began to shake.

“You know, Thomas doesn’t listen to me either. Then again, I do tell him once a week that he should drink an entire bottle of cooking oil… then again, he doesn’t listen to Orange—“ he saw Logan flinch, “—and Janus either, you know, before the episode, and they are both pretty good guys—“

“I am not like you or your friends, Remus,” Logan said, clearly irritated. “My methods of teaching have just been very difficult to comprehend for Thomas and the others, so I merely have to correct my flaws for Thomas to listen to what I have to say. That is all.”

“Dude, I know I’m just as crazy as Sweeney Todd if he were on crack, but that is seriously fucked up—,“

“I don’t need your input on how flawed I am.” Logan swiftly interrupted him, voice raised to the point it combated the millions of other voices that spoke across the room. Before Remus could reply, Logan grabbed a remote from the corner of his desk and pressed a button that turned on all of the televisions that decorated his walls. Remus had always acknowledged the televisions, but he never knew their specific purposes. 

Knowing Logan needed to cool off for a few seconds, he approached the televisions to observe what they were showcasing. All of the screens depicted different events that occurred for the past few days in Thomas’s point of view, ranging from when he achieved his new highscore in Word Crush to when he, Lee, and Mary Lee had a heart to heart about why Thomas was extremely glum during the reception. While it was somewhat a miraculous experience that Logan had access to all of Thomas’s memories, the audio that came from all the speakers and the voices that reverberated through the walls created an eerie dissonance-- Remus was surprised Logan didn’t seem bothered at all by the deafening noise. 

“I apologize for raising my voice,” Logan said softly. Remus almost didn’t catch it by how much it blended in with the blaring voices. 

“It’s alright, it’s not like you started World War Three or anything.” Remus said, in hopes of making Logan at least chuckle. He was met with no response. Remus chewed on his lip before carrying the conversation further, “Can I just say that all of these TV’s and voices are like, big stalker material? Like, you literally can witness any moment in Thomas’s life, whether he wants you to see it or not, and you can maybe even jerk off to--” “I aim to be as professional as I can be as I handle all of Thomas’s memories, Remus. It would be inappropriate for me to utilize them for personal gain.” Logan said, and Remus thought it was troubling how Logan could easily mask his emotions with a snap of his fingers. One second ago he showed distress, and now, he is indifferent. 

“You won’t even use it for blackmail against the other sides?”

“Janus-- Deceit--well, I am unsure of what to refer to him as since he didn’t reveal his name to me directly--is rubbing off on you.”

“So is that a ‘maybe’?”

“I won’t use it as blackmail, Remus,” Logan repeated himself, “Again, I am supposed to be professional.”

Remus rolled his eyes at him jokingly as he watched the different scenes that each television was projecting. On one screen, it showed the exact moment Logan joined the conversation as a person inside a textbox. The scene was highly unsettling as Logan’s digital form looked slightly comedic, but what was undoubtedly more unsettling were the reactions he had gained from appearing. Thomas was about to punch him, Roman had infinite eye rolls for him, Patton’s optimism was so evidently fake that Remus couldn’t help but cringe at his positivity. 

While Remus enjoyed the moments he spent with Janus and Orange (and maybe even Virgil despite his newfound spite for the “Dark” Sides), there were also some moments that Remus wasn’t so fond of remembering. Roman and Patton’s behavior towards Logan was reminiscent of the times Janus and Orange would both glare at Remus for being too insufferable. Or maybe it reminded Remus of the days they had to ignore him for being too intolerable. 

Logan and Remus really weren’t that different, after all.

“How do you cope watching footage of the others beating you up during every conversation?” Remus said, hoping it would get Logan to open up once more.

Logan stopped writing and shot Remus an unamused look. Remus noticed his grip on the ice pack had tightened as he viewed the television that showed the painful memory. “Last time I checked, I haven’t gotten into a physical altercation with any of the sides, and the closest I’ve gotten is when Janus forced me out of my textbox using his cane.”

“What I mean is, how do you cope watching footage of others shit talking to you? I would rather eat my eyeballs downed in superglue rather than watch any of this footage.”

“This is necessary for Thomas’s--,”

“Yea, yea, it’s very fucking important for Thomas. Y’know what I think? Thomas should just fuck off.”

“Real mature, Remus.”

“But aren’t you hurt at all? Thirty years of watching others insult you nonstop is kind of… overkill.”

If Remus wasn’t being observant, he would’ve missed it, but Remus swore he witnessed some items and furniture within the room glitch for a second. It was as if the furniture belonged to some dysfunctioning game and its material would transform into mere polygons for a few seconds. Remus’s eyes widened, but Logan looked unperturbed as if he didn’t see anything transform at all.

“Thirty years of organizing Thomas’s memories only prompted me to become more professional. Please stop trying to push this narrative that I feel anything negative when I have not felt, nor experienced emotions for that matter, at any moment in my life.” Logan said, voice rising again. This prompted the furniture to glitch one more time, and like earlier, Logan chose to avoid speaking of the elephant in the room.

“Well, I’m not pushing anything! I’m just asking a few harmless questions, that’s all.” Remus pouted, “But you do admit that memories like these prove that you haven’t been listened to for a long time.”

Logan sighed, stiffening a bit, “I…” Logan started, and his death grip on his ice pack is starting to worry Remus, “I suppose there’s no avoiding the fact that Thomas hasn’t been as attentive to my contributions as he was before but I-- I’m sure I can conjure up a plan for that to change. The others had made it understandable that I have been obnoxiously invasive for the past few episodes so if my hypothesis is correct, everything should return to normal if I become less overbearing for Thomas and become more passive while still being able to contribute to their discussions.”

Remus stood wide-eyed as he tried to process what Logan just rambled on about, only able to synthesize about half of it. Logan, with an embarrassed flush on his face, looked away, returning to his notepad, “I apologize. I intended to be less invasive yet ironically did the opposite just a moment ago.” he chuckled sourly to himself before proceeding, “You should probably go.”

“No!” Remus exclaimed, approaching Logan hurriedly.

“No?” Logan quirked an eyebrow at him.

“I’m going to stay until I…” Remus fumbled with his sleeves again, “Until I get to help you. You’re not doing okay, Logan. You’re hurting yourself.” Remus said, trying to sound as sympathetic as he can.

Logan, on the other hand, pulled a troubled expression, before masking it again. The glitches around the room were starting to return and the noise was becoming more unbearable.

“I’m not going to repeat myself, Remus. The only injury I possess at this moment is the neck injury you and Janus inflicted upon me. Other than that, I am doing satisfactory.” Logan said, his voice was wavering once more. 

“Logan, out of every side in this hell of a Mindscape, I can understand the feeling of distraught and pain you feel when you get dismissed by the other sides. Their treatment of you isn’t normal, and I cannot emphasize how much nothing about you is flawed or wrong like what the others imply--”

“I-- It’s interesting how my room is beginning to make you speak more logically--”

“You can’t avoid the subject, Logan.” Remus said, and Logan didn’t reply. Remus tried assembling a rational argument within his head, trying to recall anything he remembered from Orange about some weird philosophical lesson that he could apply at the moment. Then, he turned to his left, eyeing the largest television present in Logan’s room. On the bottom right of the screen, there was a red, flashing text that said “LIVE” which implied that whatever is being broadcasted on this screen was what Thomas’s current point of view looks like. And there, on the screen, was Janus, who was presently being summoned by Thomas.

And fortunately, an argument popped into Remus’s head.

“Okay, let’s think about this logically, since that is technically your gig, right?” Remus began, “If the others, including Thomas, stopped listening to you because you were too ‘invasive’, then why did Thomas begin listening to Janus even if he’d only met him once or twice before the episode was filmed?”

Logan gazed at him nervously, his hand reddening by how hard he was gripping the ice pack, “I-- I believe Janus offered some valuable points that would’ve contributed better to Thomas’s dilemma compared to the arguments presented by Patton and Roman--”

“Okay, you got it, but quick question: do you think Janus would’ve ‘improved himself’ if he were a little less invasive or present during that episode?”

Logan looked like his mouth has gone dry, “Uhm--”

“‘Cause if I remember correctly, you weren’t fucking around either during that episode. You presented the others with evidence to back up their arguments-- you practically did the same thing Janus did in this episode with me for when I first appeared! All of this evidence you have stacked up for some stupid hypothesis you formed is all so contradicting!”

“And what’s your point?” Logan glowered.

“This problem you have right now with ‘not being listened to’ isn’t something related to how invasive a side is or how much one talks. Janus’s situation is practically similar to yours, but isn’t it weird that he got listened to for the same reasons behind why you’re getting ignored?”

The thoughts were getting louder again as Thomas began to converse with Janus. Many of the thoughts complimented Janus, and while it exhilarated Remus that Janus was beginning to be more listened to, this only backed up the argument Remus was about to make.

“Don’t you think that maybe, maybe, the others are simply being a little bit too unfair about how they treat you? That nothing about you is wrong at all? It isn’t you who’s being unfair here, Logan, it’s the others! It has always been the others! These thoughts only prove that Thomas has been unfairly biased against you--”

“That-- that doesn’t make sense,” Logan says, and this time, he stood from his office chair. “The others have repeatedly informed me that-- that they know what’s best for me. They all share the same sentiments about-- about me, and-- and they’ve always made sure to showcase to me how correct they are compared to me, and this ‘unfair bias’ they have against me cannot be a possibility--,”

Logan’s saddened tone mixed with all the noises was just sheer torture to Remus’s ears. The thoughts that complimented Janus made it even more uncomfortable as it clashed with Logan’s self-deprecating sentences. “But what if it is? You need to value yourself a little bit more, Logan. You’re ruining yourself by letting others overpower and dominate you as if you were some kind of utility--”

“I told you, I am doing just FINE.”

Right as Logan’s voice began to reverberate across the room as if it was there to mock him, the room proceeded to taunt Logan with a thought that was somehow  louder than the rest of the voices. The voice seemed to articulate itself in a less frantic pace, mimicking Thomas’s voice exactly as if he was in the same room talking to them. It spoke,

“Y’know, with how more understanding and intelligent Janus is compared to Logan, he might be an even better logic than Logan himself.”

And with that thought alone, the whole room, including Logan, began to break and dematerialize. The glitches returned violently, not only warping every single item and furniture in the room but also transforming the ceiling and the carpet as if the room was going to destroy itself. No object in the room was safe from the glitch’s grasp as colors flash rapidly while everything practically warped and tremble viciously. The voices all mutated into a staticky mess as the pitch and tempo of each voice were altered to make them sound like something you’d find in a horror movie. The televisions were altered as it pixelated every memory and horribly modified each person’s face to look like it was something a demon would spawn.

And Logan. Logan. He was on his knees with his hands on his ears, trying to block out any distorted sound that tried to mock him. He himself wasn’t even free from the glitching as he was subjected to the same kind of torture every object in his room was experiencing. It was as if this glitch monster thingy, whatever it was, viewed Logan as just as worthless as the things he was surrounded by. He was viewed as something lifeless; he was viewed as an object, as a utility.

Remus didn’t realize he was frozen with panic until he began to hear distorted screams coming from Logan’s lips. He quickly rushed over to Logan’s side anxiously, mumbling incoherent nonsense as he tried to think of any possible solution for this unsettling situation.

“Get me out,” he eventually heard Logan say. Without any hesitation, Remus placed both his hands on Logan’s shoulders, ignoring the massive amounts of shock and pain he felt as he touched the spiky glitches, and he used every bit of his power to force him and Logan to be teleported elsewhere.

//

The moments in between sinking out and materializing again were always a blur. While it tended to calm down any rampant emotions that overwhelmed a side before they dematerialize, it was also a moment used by the sides to process everything that’s happened.

It was difficult for Remus to glance at Logan, but the grip he had on his shoulders were good enough to convince him that Logan hadn't dissolved or vanished. While Remus already deduced that Logan was negatively impacted by the immense neglect he received from Thomas and the others, he didn’t realize how horrendous their treatment had gotten. Remus even feared that there was a slim yet probable chance that within the next few months, Logan could be part of the “Dark” Sides.

Ignoring the pessimistic thoughts that emerged, Remus tried to focus on bringing he and Logan into his side of the Imagination. At first, he thought that their lounge would have been sufficient enough, but seeing how Logan would visibly flinch at the mention of Orange, Remus thought his room would be a better option. He was also able to accomodate Logan better if he chose the Imagination; nothing about their lounge was comforting besides their soft couch.

Before he entered the Imagination, he tried to manipulate its interior to turn it into something more reassuring for Logan. If Remus remembered correctly, Logan was quite passionate about astronomy, and he thought it’d be appropriate to bring Logan to a place he would find comforting: outer space.

Eventually, they materialized into the room. While Remus’s knowledge on stars and planets were limited, he was hoping that his assumptions on what outer space would be like were enough to appease Logan. Inside, the Imagination stretched infinitely and no place was left unadorned. Although he did not recall the names of every planet nor what they looked like, Remus challenged his creativity to produce his own kind of system of planets and stars. Additionally, he lowered the gravity levels of the room just to add to its realism, and now, he and Logan were floating amidst all of his beautiful creations.

When Remus was sure that everything in the room was executed perfectly, he finally risked glancing at Logan. Logan’s eyes were shut tightly but that didn’t prevent any teardrops from leaking out of his eyelids. As his eyeglasses were left behind, water droplets began to slip out of his eyes freely as it floated around the two of them. Logan even let out a painful whimper as he cried woefully to himself.

“I…” Remus spoke as his heart wrenched at the sight of the crestfallen side. Remus was fearful that he might say something inappropriate so he allowed himself to stay silent for a few moments for him to think. Eventually, he spoke in a reassuring tone, “Can I-- Is it okay if I touch you?”

Logan sniffled before he nodded, prompting Remus to raise his hands and place them delicately on Logan’s cheeks. He thumbed Logan’s tears away as it gradually floated away from his face. Eventually, Logan slowly opened his eyes, blinking away some tears that still remained. 

As there was barely any distance between Logan and Remus, this was the only time Remus could properly study Logan’s face. The bags underneath his eyes were excessively darkened as his eyes sagged wearily, and the fact that he was crying didn’t help ease his exhaustion. His hair was incredibly greasy; it was as if he hadn't given himself time to prioritize his wellbeing over the tiresome work he aimed to accomplish. Moreover, the livid bruises that coated his neck were still swelling as the ice pack Remus gave barely did anything to soothe it. 

Overall, Logan looked exhausted. 

“Remus,” Logan said, his throat slightly parched. 

“Yeah?” Replied Remus as he felt Logan’s hands make their way to meet his.

“I’m sorry.” Logan said, averting his gaze away from Remus. “You shouldn’t have witnessed that. I dragged you into my personal issues and it is entirely--” Logan choked as he tried to withhold a sob unsuccessfully. “It-- it is entirely--”

“Logan, you’re allowed to be sad-- you know that, right?” Remus told him, and immediately, Logan’s face crumbled. The tears returned in full force as he placed his forehead against Remus’s chest and began to sob once more. Remus gently wrapped his arms around Logan, pulling him closer as he felt Logan’s hands grip his arms firmly.

“I-- I just-- I’m just not used to this.” Logan uttered.

“No one is, to be honest. Emotions can be a bitch sometimes.” Remus replied.

Logan huffed out a wet chuckle, “Don’t I know it.”

The two of them huddled close for a few minutes, Remus allowing the repressed sadness Logan had within to burst out. As Logan let the long overdue tears shed, Remus rubbed soothing circles on Logan’s back, hoping it would provide Logan with ease and comfort. 

Part of Remus was exceptionally disgusted by how much the others’ treatment of Logan has completely ruined him, and the fact that they weren’t aware of their own cynicism only aggravated Remus further. There was an urge in the back of Remus’s mind to pardon himself, grab his mace, and utterly bash the other sides’ head in, and if it weren’t for Logan’s mental breakdown, he would’ve fulfilled that temptation by now.

Instead, he pulls Logan closer to him.

Eventually, after Logan’s sobs subsided. There were a couple sniffs here and there, but it seemed like Logan had slightly calmed down. 

Logan was also first to break the silence between them, “I wasn’t aware of how crying like a newborn baby kinda feels relieving.”

Remus chuckled at him, “So you wouldn’t mind telling me about what other thoughts you’ve been repressing in there?” he paused, “Of course, if you feel uncomfortable then I won’t push you--,”

“No, no… I--,” Logan let Remus loosen his grip on him slightly for them to see each other eye to eye. “I don’t think there’s any point to withholding information from you anymore. You are already aware of how… incompetent I am.”

“I don’t think you’re incompetent for having emotions, Logan.”

“But then why do the others make it feel like I am incompetent?” Logan blurted out, “No matter how many times I assume I performed something correctly or suggested an idea that I thought was valuable, the others still convince me that I’m wrong or-- or I’m just grabbing attention. Initially, I thought that they were wrong, but then Thomas started to agree with the others every time we had an argument and it really didn’t take many instances for me to begin questioning my worth.”

Remus’s eyebrows knit together in concern, “Other people’s opinions on you don’t dictate your worth, Logan.”

“Then why are they so insistent to prove how-- how-- how fucked up I am?” Logan asked, tone distressed. Consequently, Logan took a deep breath to compose himself. “I’m sorry, I can’t-- I’m just at a loss of what to do. Growing up, I thought I was somewhat like… Thomas’s savior, his key to success, but then it turns out that all my efforts were just a waste.”

“That career change did a number on you, didn’t it?”

Logan’s lips thinned nervously before he replied, “I hate to admit it but I don’t think any moment in my life could amount to how pained I felt when I realized that Thomas didn’t want to pursue a career in engineering or astronomy. I began to question things that I thought were true. Did Thomas even genuinely listen to any plan I told him about? Did he think I was wrong? There were just so many questions, so many hypotheses to prove, and it bothered me so much because you know how I strive to be the most perfect I can be for Thomas. But how can I be perfect if everything I do is brushed aside or ignored?

“But I didn’t think they were wrong for— for neglecting me. They’ve already proven to me how beneficial they are to Thomas and how-- and how righteous and just and correct they are compared to me. It just felt wrong to think of them as wrong when I’ve already accepted the fact that it was me who was being a burden to them all this time. I just… I’m not used to it. I aim to be as perfect as I can be, I want to improve myself, but why does it feel like nothing I do is good enough? 

“And sometimes, I don’t know who is to blame. Is it them? Is it me? Is it both of our faults? If they say I’m wrong, and I feel like I’m wrong, am I really wrong? Are they capable of being wrong even if their insults and jabs resonate with me as if they were right? And if they were wrong, then how come I still feel like I’m a terrible side? Why do I want to believe they’re correct so badly?” 

Logan sucked in an enormous breath once he finished his spiel. While Remus was unquestionably proud and honored that Logan was able to finally open up to him, comprehending what Logan rambled to him was a whole other story. The sullen expression on his face wasn’t helping either.

“Logan, I…” Remus spoke, “I know nothing I say right now can magically fix this problem as if it never existed in the first place, but you, Logan Sanders, aren’t worthless, and anything the others say about you does not define your worth.”

“But why--”

“Why are they persistent? Well, I don’t know if you know, but the other sides aren’t exactly always so righteous and god-like?” Remus said and proceeded to sigh, “What I mean is, you need to value yourself a little more, Logan. You’ve trained yourself to listen to whatever the others are bitching about and  immediately think that they are righteous even if they’re probably just being assholes to you. 

“You’ve been so selfless and forgiving towards the other sides that you’ve ignored that you’re destroying yourself, Logan. You have listened to the others and prioritized them so much even if sometimes, the person who really needs to be listened to more than anything else is yourself. You’re worthy, Lo. You’re incredibly intelligent yet you’re so fun to hang around with. You’re so selfless and sweet and so lovable-- there are so many things I can say to convince you that you are worthy, but you also need to do your part in remembering that. Take care of yourself, give yourself some time to rest. You’ve punished yourself too much that it has made you exhausted. You have to value yourself more, Lo.”

And with that line alone, Logan began to shed tears once more, “I know I am exhausted, I just--” he cried, placing his forehead against Remus’s chest once more, “I just don’t know how to stop thinking about my flaws and my mistakes and everything that is wrong about me.”

“Honestly? Same.” Remus said, “It’s never an easy process, Lo.”

“How-- How did you get over it?”

“Well, I had Janus ‘self-care is my number one priority’ Sanders, so that’s one thing.” Remus was glad to hear that that made Logan snort, “Another is… time. And distancing yourself from the people who hurt you.”

“The others haven’t hurt me.”

“They have. It’s okay to admit that the people who you love are capable of hurting you and are capable of being wrong. It’s perfectly normal.” Remus said. 

The arms that wrapped Remus tightened, “You don’t know how much I needed to hear that.” Logan admitted, “I… Remus I just-- Thank you. Thank you so, so much.”

“You’re welcome, dork.” Remus replied, smiling softly as he looked at Logan, “Well, actually, you’re only welcome if you do take a break, okay? If my efforts in comforting you have all been useless and I see you working your ass off the next day, then fuck you, I guess.” Remus joked, and Logan snorted again. 

“I’ll try my best.” Logan replied. They floated in a comfortable silence again as they had their arms wrapped around each other. Logan allowed himself to cry, allowed himself to feel, and Remus couldn’t help but feel immensely proud of Logan. 

Like earlier, Logan was first to break the silence once more, “If I… If I were to take a break, would it be alright if I spend it with-- with you?” Logan said, looking up at Remus again, “I’m just scared for the glitch thing to happen again and I think I’d feel much— much safer if I were with you.”

Remus blinked at him once, then twice. Then, the biggest, toothiest grin appeared on Remus’s face. “Of course, Jimmy Nude-tron, you don’t have to be all shy about it! We’ll have the best sleepovers and dissect bodies together and-- and--,”

“Stargaze?” Logan suggested.

“Yeah, hell yeah! We’ll stargaze so fucking hard that Janus is going to be jealous.” Remus exclaimed, making Logan chuckle, “Plus, I can even allow you to make your own planets and stars, if you want! I have no fucking clue what astronomy is really about so maybe you can give me a few lessons here and there.”

Logan eyebrows raised, “Even if you lack knowledge on astronomy, you made such a magnificent replica of outer space, Remus.”

Remus couldn’t help but flush at the compliment, “Oh, uh, thank you, Swell-phaba Thropp.”

Silence.

“That was a horrible nickname.”

“Agreed, pretend I didn’t say anything.” Remus said. While he thought that they'd calmed down enough and were ready to exit the Imagination, there was one more thought that he had in the back of his head that he felt needed to be addressed.

“I don’t mean to bring the mood down but… are you going to tell Thomas about the glitching?” Remus asked, and he physically felt Logan stiffen anxiously. 

Remus was about to apologize before Logan interrupted and spoke before he could, “Maybe. But not now. I don’t think I have the energy or the motivation to see him at the moment.”

Remus nodded in understanding, “While I would advise you to do everything at your own pace, I do want to remind you that you shouldn’t stall it too much either because we don’t know what those glitches can do, Lo.”

“I know, Remus. I promise I’ll tell him when I’m ready.”

“Good.” Remus said, “Do you want to get out of the Imagination now?”

“If… If it’s okay with you, I’d like to stay here for a few more minutes.”

“That’s perfectly gucci, dork, take all the time you need here.”

And the two continued to float, arms still remained wrapped around each other as it seemed like they didn’t want to let go. While they were too preoccupied with one another to observe the changes in their surroundings, in this very precious moment, the stars that encircled them seemed to be shining brighter than ever before. 

[elizabeth-mitchells]

supercut of us - The Old Guard (2020) - TOGFemslashFortnight

@tog-femslashfortnight - Saturday's Prompt: Free Choice

This is especially for everyone at the TOG Femslash Discord <3

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Old Guard (Movie 2020) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Andy | Andromache the Scythian/Quynh | Noriko, Andy | Andromache of Scythia & Nile Freeman & Quynh | Noriko Characters: Andy | Andromache of Scythia, Quynh | Noriko, Nile Freeman Additional Tags: TOGFemSlashFortnight, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, ish, Headcanon, Friendship, Team Bonding, World Travel, Fluff and Humor, Tooth-Rotting Fluff Words: 3517

Inspired by 57 headcanons shared on the TOG Femslash Discord... (which you can find along with their creators here)

After Andy and Quynh are reunited they decide to travel the world with Nile. Andy deals with her uncertain mortality, Quynh deals with the twenty-first century, and Nile... deals with both of them. It's fun, exciting, sweet and never boring.

There was just something about the way Quynh was holding Andy’s hand, which was perfectly complemented by the exact pressure of Andy’s hold, but defied by the purposeful pattern that Quynh’s thumb was drawing on the back of Andy’s hand. Then, of course, there was also something else to be said about the particular arch of Andy’s eyebrow, or just a flash of a frown in Quynh’s face, followed by Andy biting her lip, and answered with a brief pout from Quynh. Which lead to-

“What are you guys doing?” Nile blurted out, finally exasperated by the way the two women had been silently staring at each other for four minutes doing nothing but exchanging microexpressions and holding hands. “Did you guys changed your mind?” she tilted her head.

“No,” Quynh replied slowly, “I was just asking Andromache if she’d like me to stab her just once more to check if she is still immortal.”

Andy rolled her eyes, not very happy to be reminded about the fact that she still couldn’t figure out if her immortality was back or not. She had scars now, but still healed much faster than she should. It was complicated. “We’re ready to go, Nile,” Andy grumbled, as they finally followed the younger woman to the plane. With just one look Quynh had let her know she wasn’t feeling particularly great about being locked in that small plane for a long period of time. Andy was comforting, and reassuring, let her know that she disliked it just as much. “It’s safe though, trust me, I’ve only crashed one without meaning to once, or twice. And it was back when they were considerably less safe,” she added.

“Without meaning to,” Quynh shook her head fondly, “And that wouldn’t even be you at your worst now would it, my heart? You love falling from high places.”

Before Andy could protest, Nile was exclaiming, “Oh you have to tell me about that Quynh.”

“Not again,” Andy groaned, falling into her seat in the plane.

Once inside, it was obvious that Quynh’s anxiety of the reduced and unfamiliar place was kicking in again. With a smile as kind and bright as ever, Nile offered her her phone and headphones and said, “You know what I think could help? Music. And I have just the right-”

“Just the right kind of meaningless, over simplified, repetitive-”

“Oh, excuse me, I forgot classic rock was the only valid form of music. Andy, you’re a cliche grandma.”

“I told you to stop calling me that.”

“Quynh agrees with me!”

Their always-loving, never-ending bickering stopped for a moment, so they could both look at the third member of their group looking for her evaluation of the argument. Quynh, who had been so completely engrossed in Nile’s favorite playlist of pop music that she had missed the take-off of the plane entirely, only looked up when she took notice of the silence around her. “Hm, what?” she took off one earbud, looking from one face to another and nodded, “Yes, my heart, you are too old to understand. And this is actually really good.” She went back to her music and, by the end of the flight, she may or may not have accidentally started listening to a jazz music playlist, and ended up absolutely loving that too.

--

During the first hour of their hike, Nile tried to remember that she was exploring the world with the two oldest women on Earth, women who could teach her absolutely everything, women with knowledge so invaluable it was difficult to comprehend. Women who, also, sometimes acted like annoying children. 

“You slipped on a little bit of mud and broke your skull when you fell down, that’s worse,” Andy argued.

“Not as bad as dying because you failed to balance your own axe on your head! Even after I told you not to do that, Andy,” Quynh insisted.

Teasing each other like that was as natural as breathing, but that little detail of Quynh calling her just Andy, it had the oldest woman narrowing her eyes and suspecting it was better to give up the fight. “Anyway, it was Nile who shot herself in the foot for no reason at all,” she mumbled, attempting to change the subject.

Except, “Yeah, but it didn’t kill me,” Nile raised her hands in faked innocence while the three of them started laughing. As annoying as it could be to travel with the oldest couple on Earth, it was also a lot of fun.

--

Quynh had opted to stay behind to rest and look over their camp, so it was just Andy and Nile slowly riding their horses around. 

“You’re doing great, kid,” Andy sent a smile her way, “Just a little more practice and you can join me on the Mongol Derby next year.” The younger woman replied with a genuinely frightened expression. She was just learning how to do that, she didn’t need to think about the absurd things that Andy, who apparently had loved and befriended horses before anyone had even thought about domesticating them, would do. Still, she knew she’d probably end up joining her and being dragged into whatever chaos that experience would entail. “I hope Quynh will join too, she’d be amazing. Though, I didn’t tell you this but, she used to be terrified of horses,” Andy finished with a soft chuckle.

Nile laughed along with her and as a reflex she looked back in the general direction of where they’d last seen Quynh. When she looked back at Andy she was surprised to find a not entirely unfamiliar look of melancholy on her friend’s face. Before Quynh came back, that was Andy’s usual look, but it had been a while since Nile had seen her like that. She took the risk to say, “I can’t even imagine what it must have been like for you, when you lost her.”

For a second, Andy looked surprised to hear those words. “Good,” was the first thing she replied, wholeheartedly hoping the young woman would never even have to imagine that sort of pain, that absolutely devastating loss of having your universe ripped to shreds, decades of looking over your shoulder to find out your better half is no longer there.

But, on second thought, she remembered how closed off she had been when they all first met Nile, and in a matter of months Quynh was back and everything had changed too quickly. Perhaps she owed her some part of the story.

“I never really stopped looking for her, you know?” Andy took a deep breath, her heart warmed by the genuine interest in Nile’s gentle eyes. “Just weeks before we found you I was still trying… It was hell though, back then, when it first happened. I got my revenge and a little too late I found out there was no one alive who could tell me where she was. Then I had to accept she was impossible to find, and accept I’d never be the same again. I shave this whole thing off,” Andy ran a hand through her hair, making the most of that brief moment to try to soothe her raging emotions, and remind herself she was just remembering, and this time Quynh really was back, waiting for her nearby. “I got into piracy for a couple of years, still bent on revenge and staying closer to, you know, the ocean. And a lot of regrets.”

“It brought all of us here though, right? She’s back,” Nile added with a smile that she hoped could cheer up her friend at least slightly. It worked though. Andy, not for the first time, found herself not only endeared by the young woman’s optimism, but surprisingly agreeing with her.

--

This time it was Andy and Nile waiting for Quynh by the beach. The island was just big enough for the three of them to hide without worrying that someone would figure out if was Quynh it was who had just killed one of the wealthiest men in the world. When she arrived at their spot on the beach and took a seat by the fire, she was still impeccably dressed, barely a hair out of place.

“Well, that felt good,” she sighed, getting comfortable in the sand, “Also, you’re welcome. Unless you had stock in his company. Actually, I don’t know how that works. It doesn’t matter to me, and I bet it doesn’t matter to any part of him left.”

Despite Nile’s shocked, slightly disturbed, and somewhat confused expression, Andy smiled, completely smitten by the woman beside her. “Take a look,” she told her lover, nodding her head toward the sky, not taking her eyes of Quynh, “Beautiful, isn’t it.”

“Mesmerizing as always,” Quynh replied in a whisper, leaning back on her hands to look up at the stars above them as the two of them always loved to do. “Always changing…”

“Wait, what?”

Smiling at the younger woman’s confusion, Quynh added, “Hey, Nile, bonfires are perfect for some good stories. What do you think, are you interested?”

Nile agreed immediately and Quynh expertly launched herself into dozens of epic tales that, with the power of only her words, took the three of them all over the world and all over history. She reminded Andy that this wasn’t the first time they took care of greedy dictators. She talked them through the discovery of lands for the very first time. She brought legends back from the dead and left Nile speechless. She even indulged herself in sharing one or two of her favorite stories of Andy and her, including her time spent as a sculptor with her obvious muse being Andy, and also all the myths she personally started with one of the many special swords Andy singlehandedly created for her.

A very important part of the stories was the interaction between Andy and Quynh. It didn’t take long for Nile to understand how whenever Quynh hesitated on some part of her magnificent stories, Andy was always there ready to provide the missing piece of the puzzle. It might have to do with some part of Quynh’s mind perpetually lost to the unforgiving ocean. But, judging by the way it looked like Quynh expected Andy to fill in the blanks for her, it suggested that this habit of sharing their memories as one wasn’t new at all. 

Quynh was an expert in the art of storytelling. She knew exactly how to tease the knowledge only she had about Andy’s life before immortality, including their birthdays, and yet keep it all still a mystery. She knew just how to bring Nile close to tears with the tale of the Scythian warriors��� welcoming arms giving Andy her first family, and her longest-lasting name, and yet keep to herself the memory of it being just the last name Lykon got to call her.

When Nile can’t help herself anymore and falls asleep, Andy half expected Quynh to be just as tired, but she wasn’t all that surprised when instead the love of her life stood up and offered her a hand. “Are you joining me?” Quynh asked, nodding her head toward the sea, the gentle waves crashing on the shore.

“Are you sure?” Andy asked, but immediately took the hand offered and followed the other woman’s lead in taking off their clothes and walking to the shore.

“It’s terrifying, I admit that. I wouldn’t dare do it without you,” Quynh looked unusually bashful and vulnerable for a moment, the moonlight catching the precious light in her eyes just right, “But there’s just something about it… I need to prove I’m stronger, you know?”

“I am completely certain of that fact, my love,” Andy replied with a smile, taking Quynh’s hand and going into the water with her. And she meant her words. Five hundred years of torture beyond human comprehension, and Quynh was still here, still alive, still herself. There was nothing in this world stronger than her, Andy knew that as a fact.

--

Taking some time to finally stand still and relax in a safe house was a great idea for several reasons. Firstly, Nile would be lying if she said she didn’t miss a stable internet connection, which she made quick use of to sign up for an online Art History course. Plus, the isolated charming little cabin near the woods was the only place where Andy could possibly get away with adopting an actual wild bear cub.

“You stole a baby bear?!” Nile exclaimed, lowering the sword and giving up her training for a moment, because the sight of Andy arriving at the house carrying a bear in her arms was a little too much to easily comprehend.

“She lost her mother,” Andy shrugged, as if it was the most common thing to go around the woods picking up orphan bears to raise like pets.

“She does this often,” Quynh mentioned to Nile, lowering her own sword and instead picking up her recurve bow, “Personally, I prefer big cats. But it’s cute, isn’t it?”

Nile narrowed her eyes and looked at Andy. “I mean… look, that’s not normal. I love penguins, they’re my favorites and I’d love to have one, but they’re not pets. Dogs are my favorite pets, that’s normal!” Before she could get to her arguments about bears not being fit for keeping as pets, she was interrupted by Andy’s newest friend running toward her and instinctively hugging her leg. “Oh… okay, fine, it’s cute but…” But this was her life now, and she wasn’t exactly complaining.

--

Life in the various safe houses they stayed was fun, pleasant, and a very particular kind of peaceful that was only possible when living with actual immortal warriors. It was, at least, never boring. And sometimes it was also surprisingly sweet.

Nile had the brilliant idea of introducing Quynh to many, many things about modern culture. This included a quick review of the twentieth century, and Quynh reacted horrified by world wars, fascinated by 1920’s style, and skeptical about the moon landing. This, somewhat accidentally, involved introducing her to hitmen, leverage, other shows and movies that she passionately loved or disliked, and it was hilarious to watch Andy and Quynh bicker about how attractive or definitely-not-attractive the actors and actresses were. And there was also the occasional video game. Though Quynh definitely developed a love-hate relationship with Candy Crush, often saying to Nile “I’m your friend, your family, I teach you archery tricks that no other person alive knows, and this is how you repay me? You give me this devilishly addictive little game?!” 

Later, Nile was pleased to find out that both women were skilled in doing hairstyles for her, and, even better, since they had learned with Lykon thousands of years ago, they knew ancient styles that thoroughly impressed the young woman. Cooking was, more often than not, a struggle for the three of them. Baking, on the other hand, was a wonderful experience. Maybe Andy didn’t do much beyond distracting Quynh and eating the majority of everything they made, even before it hit the oven. But it was still a good time and, judging by the way Andy nearly burst into tears whenever Quynh offered her any sweet pastry, it was easy to guess there was some sort of meaningful history behind it.

Nile was also lucky enough to witness the moment Quynh found out that same-sex marriage was a perfectly legal thing in some places. Maybe she couldn’t marry the love of her immortal life as soon as she would have liked, maybe they would need to fake a few documents or even try to take advantage of some odd American laws, but she couldn’t wait for the moment it’d finally be official. Andy perfectly understood how she felt. Maybe they had absolutely no need for anyone or anything to certify their love for each other, but it would surely be fun to get to do something that for centuries was denied to them. That was partly the reason why Andy had attended college a handful of times, as soon as it was legal for women to do so, just to proudly get kicked out.

As perfect as the dynamic between the three of them was, they all needed their moments to themselves, and Nile had learned when to give the couple the space they needed. Plus, she also got time to herself. This entire life was a, literally, never-ending adventure, but it was necessary to take the time to breathe, take a step back, and think about things. One of Nile’s favorite things to do to achieve some peace of mind was journaling. Truthfully, it started as a desperate attempt to write letters to her family that she would never send. But it soon became a helpful habit that kept her grounded. And also busy, on those times when Andy and Quynh disappeared for a handful of hours at a time.

--

It was starting to happen less and less, but it was still a common occurrence for Quynh to wake up feeling the weight of the entire ocean on her chest. She’d wake up startled, a desperate scream already halfway through her throat, and already halfway prepared to die again. Some nights were harder than others, some nights it took several minutes for Andy to convince Quynh she was safe and alive and far from the sea, and get her to calm down. But then, of course, there were some easier nights, when the warmth of Andy’s body beside her would quickly bring Quynh back to her reality. She’d be shaking, frightened, afraid. But she’d turn to Andy, even with tears and in her eyes and smile in relief.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m here, you’re safe Quynh,” Andy immediately whispered in the softest tone she could manage, wrapping her arms around her lover, bring her closer, letting her find comfort in her touch and the sound of her heartbeat.

After a few moments, with her face pressed against Andy’s chest, Quynh wondered, “I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”

“Nothing to be sorry about,” Andy promised, kissing the top of her head, “And no, as a matter of fact, you didn’t. You fell asleep and I was just reading.” That got Quynh’s attention, getting her to finally meet Andy’s eyes. “It’s been a long time but… The Odyssey, remember that one?”

“Your favorite,” Quynh said softly, granting the other woman a genuine even if small smile, before cuddling closer to her. “Read it to me?” she asked, knowing nothing would make her feel safer, feel better than that. This moment, this connection brought by holding each other tightly, reminded both of them of a time in their past. Shortly after losing Lykon, they would embrace each other just like this, usually after a battle, and it was the only way to soothe their fears, it was a silent promise. The painful memory was gently replaced by Andy’s words recounting her favorite story, a different reassurance, a sweet gesture, and everything Quynh needed at the moment.

--

“You,” Andy said, and kissed her, “are wearing my shirt,” she added, kissing her again.

“Well,” Quynh returned the kiss, “It’s obviously not mine, Andromache,” she teased her, and bit her lip. Pleased with Andy’s eager reaction, Quynh continued kissing her, and let her hands start roaming her lover’s body. She was sitting on Andy’s lap, always more comfortable there than anywhere else. She kept one hand on the other woman’s short hair, since both equally loved it when she played with her hair, and with the fingers of her other hand she caressed Andy’s jaw, her neck, shoulders, and finally arrived at her upper arm. Then she pulled back from the kiss just enough to say, “You have a new scar.”

“Do I?” Andy replied and when she tried to go back to another kiss she was gently rejected.

“I notice, you know?” Quynh added. She had a somewhat complicated relationship with Andy’s scars. They represented a new and interesting part of her lover for her to cherish, so she enjoyed checking up on these small changes every now and then. But it was impossible to ignore that they stood for the love of her life getting hurt, and being, more or less, mortal. She still healed, slowly but surely, and certainly faster than regular people, but… Before her thoughts spiraled out of control, Andy’s gentle hand on her cheek brought her back to their conversation. She had been mindlessly tracing one of Andy’s scars with her fingertips, a new habit that turned out to be comforting for both of them.

“I know,” Andy said with a small smile that was quickly returned. There was more she wanted to say, both of them, but in their case, it could perfectly well be said silently. Starting with resting their foreheads together, taking a deep breath, and holding each other just a little tighter. It was enough, because their love was loud enough to fill the silence for thousands, and thousands of years.

[nagisasstunningpersonality]

TINSITOGS, a retrospective (happy birthday)

(yes I’m like two days too late I know I’m sorry) 

Why hello followers and ass class fandom, nice to see you there. I’m sure MOST people know about this, but in case you don’t, hi. On AO3 I’m better known as livixbobbiex, writer of maybe one of the most infamous Assassination Classroom fics. 

Which I mean like, if you haven’t read it yet you totally should it’s fanlore at this point I promise- 

Shameless plug that I don’t need aside, I felt that, on its first birthday since actual completion, I just wanted to share some things about it. Some tit bits about writing it, fun facts, maybe even some author advice TM. I appreciate that it’ll be super annoying if I do that in the tags, though, so that’ll all be under the cut. If you don’t want to read the whole post, then no matter what, thanks for the support in general! 

I also want to take the opportunity to announce that I’ve reopened my discord, so if you want to talk about my fics with me (and others), you’re more than welcome to join! (the link is here) 

The origin story 

I’ve stated this many times, I think, but TINSITOGS was never supposed to be a serious story. Taking you back, quite a long time, it actually started in a facebook DM with a friend. We used to come up with “head canons” with each other, which were basically just very condensed fanfiction plots over a multitude of text messages. I believe I was trying to cheer her up, and I tried to come up with some kind of plot line. 

At the time, I was fairly fresh to the Ass Class fandom, and I was joking about how there were no teen pregnancy melodrama fanfictions. It wasn’t that I wanted one, I just thought it was strange for a school centric anime with a bunch of ships to NOT have one. And, back then, I only really cared about karmagisa. So I just decided ‘right it’s happening’. The reason I decided to make it ABO was due to ‘it making sense’. Fun fact: it was almost written as AFAB trans Nagisa, but I decided against it as I didn’t rate my ability to handle it well back then. Looking back on it, I’m glad I made that decision. 

Over around two months, writing out the plot of this story took over my life a little bit. I had no idea where I was going with it, but I was having so much fun with the drama that I decided that Karma and Nagisa shouldn’t get together soon at all, and I had a lot of fun teasing my friend with the ‘will they won’t they’. It was only when I got bored that I invented this intense drama plotline to finish it all off. 

That period of time was a lot of fun. And whilst that friendship didn’t end well, I still have a lot to thank her for. She chose Daichi’s name because I had no idea, and she wanted to annoy me because I didn’t like Haikyuu. When I couldn’t decide on his hair colour, the purple was her suggestion because ‘why logic?’ Daichi speaking Korean was because of how much she liked Kpop. She even helped me choose the title of the actual fic, so there’s a lot you can thank her for, honestly. 

After I finished that story, though, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Whenever I daydreamed, I used to think about that damn Daichi Akabane, and how much I wanted to tell his story. I’d even come up with extra stuff to fill in a lot of the gaps, and developed his character in my mind. I decided that I was really desperate to write it down. Usually that worked when I had an idea I wanted to work through. 

I wrote the first chapter in late 2017, and then the next two as well. I just, kept going, and realised that I could go further still. TINSITOGS was never something that was supposed to be shared, but I decided I may as well. After all, that fated ‘teen pregnancy drama’ fic still didn’t exist, and I thought it would be funny to make it happen. 

Yes, as I’ve stated publicly a few times, TINSITOGS was a crack fic. If I wanted attention from it, it was infamy. We even joked about me cursing the fandom if it ever became the most popular fic (whoops?). What I wasn’t expecting was a bunch of people, in a fandom where at the time there were NO ongoing karmagisa fics and it was pretty dead, to really seem to enjoy it. It was enough to have me keep writing it, at least. I still don’t know at what point I actually started taking it seriously, but somehow I did, and the rest is history? 

The reception 

In my wildest dreams, I never thought that I would be the author of one of the most popular fics in the fandom. To this day, the amount of views TINSITOGS has is insanity to me. For the record, across all platforms it’s on today it has 238,000, which is literally a number I can’t even visualise anymore. Almost quarter of a MILLION. To this day on AO3, it’s the most viewed Ass Class fic that’s an ACTUAL ass class fic (the others are multi fandom compilations). So yeah, I achieved the original goal, I guess? 

Now you might be wondering, “omg the karmagisa fandom is fujoshi trash”. And, considering the origins, it is kind of funny. The thing is, though, TINSITOGS was written at incredibly good time. It was written when there were, essentially, very few long form Karma/Nagisa stories. If any other fics did get posted on occasion, they were usually just oneshots. I was also, at that point, writing very fast. A symptom of ADHD is becoming obsessively productive over certain things. Since I was able to get a 3k chapter out every few days/once a week, TINSITOGS was consistently bumped to the top of AO3′s default view. And some of those first few chapters were altered canon, and transcribing the canon dialogue didn’t take very long. The more views it got, the more people would read it out of sheer curiosity. 

I think it also helps that, at least after it started getting some positive feedback (which was honestly after the pre written chapters), I purposely tried to make it ‘not terrible’. I mean, I personally think the first chapter is pretty weak and if it wasn’t somewhat iconic to a lot of people I’d rewrite it. But in general, I purposely tried to make the world of ABO my own, to make it more accessible to those who don’t like that genre, and stay away from the inherently grosser stuff as much as possible. I genuinely do get comments about how I introduced people to the genre as a whole, still not sure if that’s a GOOD thing but hey, it happened. 

TINSITOGS turned into a lot more than just a joke. It turned into my favourite hobby. It turned into a research project (honestly, you would not believe the amount of mummy vlogs and legit scientific articles about child development I consumed). It turned into something that, at least I believe, was widely loved. 

Meaning 

I think it might be wrong to say that I don’t have AN idea of when I started to take the fic super seriously. For me, it was around the time someone commented something along the lines of saying my writing meant a lot to them, that they’d spent all night reading it and had been unable to put it down. 

Not to get too dark here, but I do have a past in writing a very long, somewhat popular fic (it’s still on my fanfic net profile if anyone’s interested, but I don’t recommend it). However, in the latter part of my teenage years, the depression struck. Writing was the love of my life, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore. Maybe I’d be able to muster an idea or even a chapter at the best points of that, but I’d never completely finished any story. Starting to write again was a huge step in my recovery, and one of the reasons I convinced myself that life was worth it was being able to impact someone’s life somehow. Even to this day, I still remember the fics I read when I was, like, thirteen. How much I still remember them, and how much they meant to be at the time. I wanted to be that writer for someone else. To be honest, it was actually Yuri!!! On Ice that got me out of the super bad, but I still never wrote anything of real consequence. TINSITOGS was the first time in a long time I actually committed to something. 

And, to be completely honest, there were a lot of times I was tired of it, and wanted to just quit. But, the thing was, I felt like people depended on me in a way. I got so many comments that were just FILLED with support, telling me how much they looked forward to every update. It wasn’t just empty words, either, a lot of the times these comments would be super engaged with the actual writing. I can’t even describe just how much they meant to me, how much I would look forward to reading everyone’s opinions. And then discord happened, which was a lot of fun. 

TINSITOGS went a lot further than I ever thought it would. There were comments, discussions, fan art, fan FIC (which is honestly incredible to me). Someone even added it to TV Tropes, at one point. Not to mention the Cards Against Humanity deck and quiz It makes me so unbelievably happy that I could inspire that much creativity, but it’s a two way street. It was all of that which inspired me to write, too. 

Writing 

The only real goal I actually had was aiming for around 3000 words per chapter. I had a whole facebook log of plot points as planning, and I was mostly just trying to expand on them into prose. I honestly thought that, at its completion, the entire fic would be around 100k words, if that. Not, at one point, being literally the longest ass class fic on AO3. 

There are a lot of aspects that were directly adapted from the original messages, and I tried to stay faithful to it more so at first, even if I later removed some of the pure crack. But the style was also vaguely similar, with the story being told mostly from Nagisa’s perspective with swaps to Karma when it made sense. All the main plot beats, too, are pretty much identical. The plus to this was I was able to add a lot of really fun foreshadowing, and I feel like it’s a fun reread because of it. 

Honestly though, if there’s a demand to release those OG message logs, I will. Mostly because it’s kind of funny, and interesting to see. Isogai and Nagisa were engaged at one point, even. 

Obviously, it changed somewhat. 3000 was the minimum length, and the time to completion was whenever it felt right. One of my big concerns was about pacing, so it took a lot more fleshing out and maybe ‘filler’ content for some of the main arcs to work. 

There’s parts of TINSITOGS I don’t think aren’t written that well, and some that I’m still super proud of. I think you can definitely tell there’s a gradual shift in style, and I get a lot more comfortable with writing them as characters as it goes along. To be honest, my pride for the fic overall is what it represents. 

It is funny to think about the places it got written in, though. I started it when I worked at McDonalds with no life direction, then it went through my first year of university with me. It’s been written in at least four countries. Aeroplanes, night clubs, long haul buses, a train through the Japanese southern coastline. Even the start of covid. TINSITOGS managed to see a lot. I even turned a scene in (the boat scene during the India chapter with altered names) to my university as a legitimate assignment. 

There were also a few messages I wanted to achieve, once I realised I had the platform to put them across. One of them was, obviously, ‘use protection kids’. It was important to me that I didn’t glamorise it too much, and I think that came across. I also wanted to dispute some of the issues with ABO, and subvert the consent issues as much as I could. An arc I really ‘liked’ writing was how abuse doesn’t always look the same way, and that it can be a drawn out change in behaviour. How the most important part of ‘being a good parent’ isn’t perfection, but genuinely loving and doing the best you can for your kid. How love doesn’t solve everything, and effective communication can take a very long time to learn and build a functional relationship. I mean, there definitely was a lot I tried to put in, and you’re free to interpret it all how you want. But, I like to think some people learnt some of these things, at least. 

Daichi 

Honestly, Daichi developed almost of his own free will. I had a good idea of his appearance, and that he was smart. Writing him from birth until around nine years old (older if you read the sequel fic) pretty much allowed that fluidity. It was really fun to explore a nature vs nurture development, and let his own characteristics speak for themselves. 

He’ll always have a special place in my heart. 

This is the first image I ever made. When I was trying to figure out what Daichi looked like, I honestly just edited Karma’s hair (pretty well, actually? I’m impressed with my past skill). That’s where the ‘he looks just like Karma’ meme kind of came from. 

This was the first image I actually created of Daichi. I THINK it was on rinmaru games mega anime creator or something, but it’s literally not available on the internet anymore as far as I can tell, so I can’t double check. This was in the pre-piccrew days. His eyes are closed because they didn’t have the right tone of goldish/silver.  

His sister, Kaguya, didn’t even exist originally, even though I decided on that ending pretty early on. Actually, she was going to be called ‘Irina’ due to some hijinks. Initially, when Karma found out about Irina’s pregnancy, she was going to get super emotional and mad at him and basically force him to name his first born daughter after her. Karma agreed to shut her up, never intending to have another child, so when the surprise second child later came along they had to live with the pain. However, to be honest I just forgot to write in the actual scene that set it all up, and I decided against adding it anywhere else. The name Kaguya was a very last minute decision, and it was a chance for me to explore some ideas that didn’t fit with Daichi’s character. 

Interestingly too, Daichi and Nao were never intended to be a thing. I only decided that towards the VERY end. Even though the reason I named Nao that was because of a ship I had in a J Drama (Good Morning Call). It just kind of ended up happening because I won myself over with imagining the cute. 

The music 

I used to write with a lot of background music, though not all the time. Particularly towards the start, there was a lot that didn’t really make sense thematically, yet I would write to a lot. 

Here’s a link to the spotify playlist if you want it it’s basically all the ones I noted I’d listened to a lot. Not including the smut ones, though, I have a whole playlist for that. 

Some of the notable ones: 

Five String Serenade - the first scene I wrote of the entire fic, in Chapter 25 New Year Time where they fell asleep cuddling. 

Cosmic Love - when I wrote Nagisa’s love confession scene in hospital (I also wrote this pretty early on) 

Northern Downpour (though it was actually a cover by Emma Blackery) - The chapter after Daichi’s born (30) 

When The Party’s Over -  Confession Time Third Period, Chapter 69. I literally listened to this song on REPEAT when I planned and wrote the kind of ‘break up’ scene, and it’s one of the few parts that made me cry writing. 

Turning Page - I know I said no smut, but this song actually gave me the idea to have the “I love you” in chapter 108 be less on a whim and actually more built up. In the original plan, Karma really did just say it without thinking. I’m glad I changed that.  

Bury Me Low and Numb - pretty much all I listened to when writing the last few chapters, because Evil Nagisa core. So much so that Bury Me Low was in my top 2020 songs rewind. 

As for the title, there’s actually quite a funny story. I had no idea what to call the fic, and when that happens I usually just try and find some song lyrics. I really wanted to use something from ‘October’ by the Broken Bells. Not only because it’s my favourite song (has been for years), but thematically it really worked. The issue was, it worked as the WHOLE song, there were no individual lyrics that captured everything. And, if they did, they didn’t flow very well. And naming the fic ‘October’ would have been weird for a lot of reasons. There Is No Sweeter Innocence That Our Gentle Sin really was just plucked randomly, in a desperate search to find any snappy lyrics from any song that had some kind of meaning. After a bit of discussion, we settled that it kind of worked... if Daichi is innocent and they committed a sin or something. It also wasn’t the most obvious lyric from the song (Take Me To Church if anyone doesn’t know) so I just went with it. It works out, I think, because TINSITOGS turned out to be a pretty good acronym and pronounceable word in its own right. 

The merch  redbubble drama 

It’s a well known fact that I’m not very good at art. However, I decided to try pixel art because it seemed the easiest to not mess up. I made Karma and Nagisa, before deciding to also give Daichi a try. 

This, to this day, is the only good quality art of Daichi that I actually own. The only one I’m actually happy sharing and thinking it doesn’t look terrible. As much as I love people sending me fanart, it’s not ‘my property’, right. 

So, I was kind of joking about TINSITOGS having merchandise. At first I just made two funny quote things, and uploaded it to redbubble. I was never intending to actually make money from this, and I’d agreed to myself that if I did, I would just donate it to charity. I was joking with the quotes, but since I had this artwork I figured I may as well uploaded. Separately, there was also an image that had pixel Daichi next to pixel Nagisa and Karma (which I also created). 

Aside from showing up in a few people’s adverts across the internet, there was no real harm with this. In fact, I didn’t make money anyway. It was just... more the joke of it existing. I did, however, buy myself a Daichi phone case, which is one of my favourite possessions. 

The funny ‘drama’ comes in when they got taken down due to copywrite. Sure, the one with Nagisa and Karma, I understand. But the other three literally had no mention or anything to do with Assassination Classroom, aside from being from a fanfiction. So basically, someone who owns those rights claimed my OC as theirs. Which makes Daichi canon? Whatever the case, I found this hilarious don’t worry. 

How has TINSITOGS changed my life? 

This is quite a strange thing to think about. Because, in a lot of ways, it really hasn’t. As I’m sure a lot of people know, I don’t really consider myself to have any real ‘fame’, despite the impressive numbers. Whenever I tell people in my personal life, they seem to think I’m some sort of internet celebrity, but that’s never been the case for me. I mean, it’s hardly a cultural phenomenon. 

In a lot of ways, I’d much rather befriend someone than have them admire me. Possibly because being someone’s inspiration is kind of weird... I’m just an awkward duck who likes to write after all. I don’t mind it, though. I genuinely find it an honour, even if I don’t necessarily agree. I also want to take this time to say that if anyone ever wants to talk or message me, you’re more than free to do so. I’m usually super casual with people who do that, I promise. 

TINSITOGS was the first story I ever finished in the way I truly wanted to. Start to end, a full narrative. And it took a LOT. There were so many times I almost felt like quitting, or took super long breaks. For me, ADHD queen, actually finishing something was a huge deal. And I know I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t owe it to everyone who read it, and myself, to see it through. You know like, if I were to die tomorrow, at least I’ve left something behind. 

In a lot of ways, it’s changed me for the better. It’s helped me develop my writing styles, and way of thinking. It encouraged me to become more active in the fandom, and develop some important friendships. I always feel like my Tumblr and Fanfiction ‘known’ factor is separate. I think most of my Tumblr following is more to do with my theories/Japanese context research if anything, for example, but I know I wouldn’t be so interested in that if TINSITOGS hadn’t lead me to deeply examine character and really look into analysing source material for clues. I also think there’s just... a lot of myself in it. 

I was 17 years old, when I first came up with the idea. I finished the story when I was 20. Now, at the time of writing, I’m 21. That time has seen some pretty significant changes - just in general life facts and my own personal human development. For me at least, a lot of that was pretty turbulent, and TINSITOGS stands as a time capsule for that, in a way. 

I know I gained a lot of confidence, and it affirmed to me that writing is what I love. Telling stories and sharing them is what I love. 

Conclusion

Do I think TINSITOGS is an outstanding piece of writing, or the best fic ever? No. I really don’t. It’s strange to say because I definitely spent a lot of time on it, but it’s not like I put my full unbridled efforts into the story. I don’t fully plan, use a beta, or even read through on my own. And that’s okay - that’s not what I write fanfiction for. Fanfiction is my place to have fun with characters and stories I like, without the pressures of having to stand on my own complete originality. Yes, I’m fully confident that I can write at a “higher quality”, if I really wanted to. I’m also aware that some authors put their full effort into their fics, and that’s just as valid! 

It feels odd to say this about my own writing, but I honestly think there’s just something in this story. It might not be written in the best prose ever, and the premise might be kind of dumb for a lot of people. But, I think, there’s some part of this fic that managed to grab people. Somehow, at some point, many readers get captured into the emotions and so drawn in that ‘they just have to finish it now!’ Again, I’m not sure myself how I actually achieved that. Of course, that won’t apply to everyone, but I do feel there’s some truth in it. And it makes me happy, to have caused that. 

If TINSITOGS is your favourite fic, or if you genuinely think it’s the best story you’ve read, then thank you. I really appreciate your support, and I’m happy to have been a part of your life, I guess. I know how much fanfics can mean to a person, and that’s why I’m not going to take it down, or edit it at all. And it’s fine too, if you loved the fic for a while and moved on -i t happens. Whatever the case, I’m very honoured to have been able to occupy a moment of your life. Or if you find this fic in 10 years time, even, I still wholly appreciate you. 

This story was incredibly important to me, and thank you for reading if it was ever important to you too. 

You may ask, what now? Well, this is only intended to be a detailed look back for whoever’s interested, and it’s likely the only one I’ll actually do, a year after completion. Of course, if you ever want to ask me anything or just discuss the story, you’re honestly good to contact me in whatever way I have available. 

I’m still writing my ongoing stories, of course, despite taking a small break due to the university work load. I fully intend to complete the stories I’ve already started to tell, at least. After that... I’m not sure if I’ll still write fanfiction. Don’t panic, this isn’t a ‘I’m quitting writing’ thing. I may, however, have bled the Karmagisa genre a bit too dry at that point. Who knows? I am pretty interested in writing something original for once, so maybe that’ll work out. 

For now, at least, thank you to anyone who read this fic. To anyone who commented, liked, or interacted with me over it. To anyone who created or learnt from it. I’m really glad that I got to share this story with you all, and ultimately left some kind of mark, no matter how big or small. 

Happy birthday, TINSITOGS. I had a lot of fun writing you. 

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Undercover.”

Wrote something for you all this morning. It’s a little more fun and fluffy than anything else, but it also forward the arc, so I hope you like it. Have a great day everyone 

Also we have a discord server now, and he link below should be permanent. Hope to see you there :)

https://discord.gg/cTY5SHx

“So you two are planning to…. What exactly? Pose as one of us to get information from these people.”

“That is kind of the general idea I guess.”

Sitting at the bar surrounded by  all the noise and lights their conversation went unheard the rest of the bar goers around them. 

The bartender and his small Finnari companion wandered off at intermittent times to serve drinks to other customers before wandering back.

The human leaned against the bar, “Look, if that is your plan, then you are going to need some help blending in.”

The commander raised an eyebrow, “Blending in, how so. She's a Drev I’m a human slap on some makeup and a little hair dye and no one will be the wiser.” 

The bartender just smiled and shook his head as if amused at the Commander’s ignorance, “no no no, that’s not how it works. You see there is an entire culture behind extrials, a lot of stuff we had to do before it became legal and a lot of stuff we still do now as a sort of memento of the hard times.”

The commander blinked, “Oh, really. I had no idea.”

“That’s alright. It’s not like we advertise it out to everyone, that’s the whole point of it being a secret. Look me and Vin’an get off in like fifteen minutes, and we can help you two out. Besides, the people who have been approaching everyone would never consider doing it here anyway. Most of these people aren’t rich enough, and the establishment is actually a legal one which means it is prone to inspections.” 

“Right, sounds fun.”

The commander turned in his seat and leaned back resting his elbows up on the bar. Sunny watched him from where she sat a seat over still nursing her drink, “You seem relaxed for someone who is preparing to spend the next couple of days in espionage.”

He grinned, “Ah but it is also the kind of espionage where I can go partying with my best friend, so I would consider it a little less working and a little more paid vacation.”

She rolled her eyes, “You’re an idiot, you know that.”

“You love it.”

“Mmmmhmmm sure.”

Sunny finished her Drink and the commander closed his eyes seeming to soak up the atmosphere like some sort of strange sponge. Sunny would never understand that about him, of course she liked going out and doing things, but she couldn’t imagine being able to recharge around people. After a while she needed a break, but it looked like he was getting ready to fall contentedly asleep.

A knock on the bar behind them, and she turned to see the bar tender had been replaced by a different couple/

“You two ready to go.”

“Sure thing boss.” the commander turned to sunny, “Come on lets go be cultured and things.”

She just shook her head again but followed along with the group of them as they were motioned through the backdoor behind the bar and up a flight of stairs.

“You guys live here?” The commander wondered.

“A lot of us live in the same building. It makes it easier on all of us. less questions asked and a lot safer, we can pool our money for security equipment and what not. Strength in numbers as it were.”

“Right, makes sense.”

He shouldered open a door to the next apartment stepping into a room lined in UV lights over large potted plants. Everything else had a very modern futuristic looks with neon floor lights and minimalistic furniture, “Damn, bartending pays well.” The commander muttered under his breath, “And I’m still sleeping in a twin.”

“Make yourselves comfortable, go ahead and sit anywhere.”

Before Sunny would do anything the Commander had claimed a strange circular shaped chair that was hanging from the ceiling. It rocked back and forth, and he seemed to be enjoying himself, which was rather amusing to her. It was like trying to wrangle a puppy..

A moment later the bartender came to sit down with them, and the Commander was polite enough to stop his playing around and pay attention, which was a feat all in itself.

“Alright, so a little background for you guys, just general information that anyone in the community would know.” He cracked his knuckles, “The LFIL began as a result of one of the oxyclinics.”

“Oh hey! I worked at one of those after the war for a short time,”

The punk nodded, “Than you know, in those places you tend to get kind of intimate and close up with other aliens. Generally it was very rare and the humans kept everything professional. Generally it started with them having feelings for some people they met but never saying anything or mentioning it because at the time they thought it was wrong. Plus also it was seriously and very professionally wrong to go and do anything about it. However, there was one couple, a Drev and a human who became really good friends during the course of the treatment, and eventually wen the Drev left they kept in contact. Turns out that the human’s second job was as a cage fighter down on one of the local stations for money. They ended up running into each other there where the Drev saw them fight. That led to more time spent hanging out and you get the gist. Independently stories like that were happening all over. Finnari worked well with humans who wanted someone to protect, drev like fighters, and Tesraki were drawn by people’s good business sense and stayed for how loyal humans are. Eventually it spread from the oxy clinics.”

“Wow, I had no idea it began that way, though I guess it makes sense.”

The bartender smiled, “Yeah. I met Vin’an when looking for a place to stay. I had just moved here, and she was looking to hire a human to keep her safe in the big cit. Things progressed from there, so my story is a little less complicated than most, but I guess the one thing you need to know that relates to all extrials is that we are all, in some way very, very eccentric. If you are going to date an alien tan odds are you are going to stand out in other ways as well. At first, it was sort of just a coincidence of personality, but when we started to learn that there were others like us, we started doing it on purpose to let people subtly know who and what we were.”

“But plenty of humans are eccentric.” Sunny pointed out 

He turned to look at her, “Not so much off earth. They tend to be military or business types, so not a lot of eccentricities going on. Plus, for a while, we used tattoos to signal what we were, generally we would get the image of the alien that we were attracted to on the arm or other part of the body.  It was all in an effort to let each other know what we were and what we were willing to do.”

“And how did aliens react to that?”

“You know, I think there is this misconception that aliens are less prone to odd behaviors than humans and that it is humans that always initiate, but that isn’t true. I know plenty of couples where the non-human was the first one to approach. Of course, it is definitely more of a personality  based thing than any other type of relationship. You will find that there are very few extrials who are attracted to aliens outright in the way that normal people are. I mean yeah there are a few, obviously, but most of us had no idea until we met the perfect person. In fact, I've dated plenty of humans in my time, and it didn’t bother me. But that is how a lot of the progressions go, you start out as really good friends, and then it goes from there as you get to know each other.” he clapped his hands, “Anyway, first thing is first, we need to make you look like one of us, that means eccentric.”

From where she was sitting cross-legged on the floor, sunny looked up, “He wears an eyepatch and a military grade cybernetic leg. I think he’s already eccentric enough to fit in.”

The other human laughed while the commander flipped her the bird.

“I mean that is kind of true, but we want you eccentric in a way where no one is going to recognize you. Sunny, I am going to have you go out with Vin’an and pick out some nail polish for your new color. She can help you get ready.”

***

Something the commander and Sunny thought was going to take an hour or two turned into an entire day. Sunny ended up stuck sitting on the roof with the little Finnari being painted a nailpolish color that was called ‘opal unicorn’ which was sort of silver white with sparkles in it. It was a very pretty color, kind of reminding her of her brother’s late partner, but that didn’t mean she enjoyed all the work it took to put the stuff on. It took almost three applications over her full body and A UV light source to harden the stuff.

Still though, she assumed it was much more intense than Adam, and when they returned to the apartment she was surprised to find that he wasn’t there. The two of them sat around for a while playing games and talking about random things until the door clicked open and two humans walked in.

At first Sunny thought The bartender had brought home another one of his other friends before her eyes zeroed in on the human’s face. The eye color was different now a bright blue, but she would know that sheepish expression anywhere.

“Ho-ly shit.” She said looking him up and down, “IS that really you in there.”

He flipped her the bird, “yeah, it’s me.”

The bartender was grinning from one side of his face to the other.

“You know I am pretty sure he went out and did this just to amuse himself.”

“I mean you do look pretty funny.”

“I am very much not a fan of getting a nailgun through my soft cartilage, lets get that straight.”

Sunny tilted her head “Oh so those aren’t clip ons.”

“No, no they are not clip ons.”

“Huh.”

“Told you, no one will recognize you.” The bartender said, grinning 

“Yeah no one will recognize me, I don’t even recognize myself. It seems to e a trend in my life lately, dying and cutting my hair.”

Sunny tilted her head the other way. His new look was primarily characterized by lightning blue hair shaved almost to the scalp on the sides and long on the top with some sort of magic holding it straight up in the air. Both of his ears were pierced including one that had piercings along both the top and bottom of the ear with a chain connecting the two.

The more she looked the more she wanted to laugh.

Somehow, he even had a stud in his upper chest around the base of the throat near the collarbones

“You laugh, I Kill You.”

“Don’t worry, I'll just incapacitate you with a large magnet.”

“Mother fucker.” 

She danced away laughing as he charged at her skipping out of the way as his heavy boots thudded over the ground.

“Hey, quiet down you’ll wake up my neighbors.” The man hissed as the two of them skidded to a stop.

“You look like a baby punk walked into a staple factory.” Sunny mocked 

“And you look like unicorn ji-”

“Keep it civil.”

He shut his mouth tight, “Alright, are we ready, finally?”

“Well, not exactly.”

He crossed his arms, “What do you mean not exactly.”

He smiled “well you aren’t going to convince anyone… unless.”

“Unless what?”

“Unless you actually look like a couple 

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh, now go on hold her hand. She’s got enough of them to spare.”

Sunny looked at Adam, Adam looked at Sunny.

“Well go on its not like you’re suddenly going to become extrial if you hold hands.”

“That's not the-” Adam began

“Less talking more hand holding.”

Sunny shrugged and held out her upper left hand. Adam stared at it cleared his throat, reached out and paused.

“Come on, we haven’t got all night. Promise you aren’t suddenly going to be attracted to aliens.”

“I never said-”

“Go on.” 

He looked over at sunny again. She tilted her head at him, “Wow, making me feel really great here Adam, promise I don’t have germs.”

He ignored them, reached out and took her hand.

He was…. Very awkward. The palm of his hand was very sweaty, and he didn’ts seem to understand that the point of hand holding was to make contact with the person and not avoid touching them as much as possible.

The punk sighed and walked over, “have you ever held hands with anyone…. Ever?”

“No.”

“Oh hmm.”

He walked over grabbed them and readjusted, “Hold down here, and now get a bit closer, closer. Seriously dude what is your issue. You sort of just interlace the fingers like that.” He practically had to bodily move Adam right up next to sunny.

He was stiff as a board.”

“You aren’t very good at this.”

Adam had his mouth clamped shut.

“Honestly you can actually look like you like her. I know you guys are friends and friends hold hands all the time.”

Adam tugged at the collar of his jacket, “Is it hot in here?”

“Stop trying to change the subject.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just really really bad with anything in this related field.”

“You’ve never had a girlfriend?’

“No.”

“Boyfriend.”

“No/ “One night stand.”

“No.”

His eyes were wide, “Wow, so you’re still.”

“Can we change the subject please.”

Off to his side he could feel sunny shaking. He looked over at her only to find that she was laughing silently behind his back.

“What’s so funny.”

“You, you’re funny. I have never met someone so adorably inept at interpersonal relationships.”

“This is a fake interpersonal relationship.”

“Just imagine how you would manage the real thing.” She continued to laugh and he frowned at her.

“Alright now why don’t we go out, get used to this outside head around and get to know the places. It’ll be a fun night.”

She pulled Adam closer, “Oh yes it will.”

He groaned.

***

The guy hadn’t been wrong. They went all over the city catching looks everywhere they went through their presence was greeted with great enthusiasm in almost every location. The commander kept his eye out for any suspicious activity though he didn't expect it to happen right away if at all. Him and sunny wouldn’t be likely to be approached seeing as they weren’t an established member of the community, but perhaps they could integrate well enough that they would notice when someone was approached.

Halfway through the n night the commander walked off to get drinks. 

Sunny sat looking around the room and occasionally talking with some of the other patrons. Adam returned a moment later sitting next to her and handing her a drink before sliding his hand back into place in hers.

She could see him from the corner of her eyes as he discreetly checked out the room.

The aperture of his fake eye was adjusting opening and closing as he used it to catalog and track every person within radius.

HE craned his head to the side leaning against her as he tried to get a look at some people on the other side of the room.

She put an arm around him turning her head to see behind them.

Light flashed and strobed as music played in the background.

At some point they were invited to dancing and then bar hopping with another group which they took in order to properly integrate themselves inward.

The night went by and sunny lost all track of location and time.

She thought she fell asleep at some point and woke up to find Adam dozing off at her shoulder.

She remembered even later in that crashing at someone else’s apparent on the floor of the living room which was strewn with almost a dozen other people.

Adam and Sunny ended up squished against the couch pressed up against each other to make room for everyone else.

She was so tired that it didn’t matter the noise.

And then they were up again on the town and back to the bars.

Adam was only growing more comfortable while she was beginning to lag. This lifestyle was not for her. She hadn’t been alone in hours. The constant noise and people were draining her life away.

At one point in the night they were sitting back on one of the couches talking. Adam stretched and put his arm over her shoulder turning his head and leaning in close. His breath was hot against her face, “Three o clock. I think I got something.” 

She turned her head forehead brushing against his. Giving him cover, “What do you see.”

He pretended to laugh and leaned closer, “I've seen these people three times. They never touch each other barely look at each other, and the have just invited one of these couples into a back room.”

“They could just be…. Offering favors.”

Adam rested his head on her shoulder, “I don’t think so. They aren’t acting right, they don’t look right, point is there is something about them that does not belong here. You know plus they are both tesraki, which is kind of a dead give away.”

She wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer, “OK yeah that is a bit suspicious.” 

“I'm going to try and get access to the GA database, hopefully our IT guy can give us a bit of help.”

Shr an a hand through his hair, “Want me to keep an eye on them.”

“Go ahead.” 

Another couple sat down across from them nearly blocking Sunny's view.

“I just have to say.” Their new neighbors commented learning closer, ‘You two are such a cute couple.”  Sunny did her best to be polite while being forced to crane her neck past their heads.

“Why thank you. How about you two though, where did you guys meet.” That should shut them up for a while

And she was right.

Adam squeezed her hand once, and then twice. 

She knew what that meant.

The two of them stood suddenly and Adam smiled, “Sorry guys, but I just got a  call in from work.  It was nice meeting you though, take care and have a good night.”

They were waved off with a smile.

Adam gripped her hand as together they walked through the club and towards the door where the Tesraki had disappeared.

Hopefully he knew what he was doing. 

[lilmissbeanie]

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Keiji Akaashi x Famous!F!Reader

Song ~ Ass Back Home - Gym Class Heroes 

Genre ~ SFW Fluff

Word Count ~ 1.8k

Posted ~ 11/08/20

Akaashi sighed as he once again read another article about Y/n L/n and Jason Derulo, or some other artist always presuming that they were together. He didn't want to be jealous, but he couldn't help it when he saw his girl with some other guys, wasn't that normal? 

He knew it was going to be hard when he asked her to be his girlfriend. He knew she would be away often she would be travelling for tours and of course, meeting up with other artists to collaborate on songs, even though he knew that her new song would be a collaboration with Jason Derulo. 

He trusted her, the same way that Bokuto would trust his sets back in high school, the way that Bokuto would always know that Akaashi would always get the ball to him to spike. He knew she would never cheat on him, that wasn't who she was. He knew by the excitement in her voice when he answered the phone, "Kei!" The excitable giggles paired with the massive happy grin he saw on video call on the rare occasions that she could. Usually, it was voice messages or texts with the time difference, but some times she would stay up late so they could video chat, he would let the small smile grace his features when she would rub her eyes cutely and yawn. The way he would tell her to go to bed cause she is tired and she would pout innocently saying that she wasn't worn out. She would ask about his day listening as she slowly doses off, he didn't take it as an insult he just knew she was exhausted. He would sit there smiling at her sleeping face, looking like an innocent child, where she still had her phone in a light grip facing her.

"Good night, my Juliette sleep well. I love you."

"I... l-love you too my Romeo" would often be mumbled back, in her half-dazed state. With Akaashi's love of literature, Y/n just slipped it out once called him her Romeo and ever since it stuck.

Running his finger around the rim of his glass he sighed, it had been a few days since he had heard from her, he knew she was busy he had seen on her Twitter and Instagram that they added more tour dates in America as they stadiums had sold out. It had been eight months since the pair were actually in person together. 

"AKAASHI!" He flinched at Bokuto's sudden loudness as said boy appeared next to him. "Why so, mopey? Oh, you're missing Y/n aren't you!" 

"Hey my Romeo, I'm sorry I haven't called or texted you in a while, the tour has gotten so hectic recently we are doing two shows a day, so most of my fans can come, and watch and my manager wants to add even more dates." He smiled, enjoying the sound of her voice even if it is over voicemail, and she sounded exhausted. He had woken up for work and seen that he had missed a call from her at three am. "I know you're going to ask when I am going to be home, but I don't know at the moment, but soon I hope I'm going to tell my manager that I need a break. I hope to be home for Christmas." 

Rolling his eyes, he shrugged and gave a slight nod to Bokuto's question.

Bokuto suddenly felt terrible for Akaashi. He didn't know how he felt. He didn't have a love like Akaashi. His passion is for Volleyball is his true love right now.  He remembered the day he introduced Akaashi and Y/n. She was at an after-party of a game that the Black Jackals won and Bokuto dragged Akaashi along. It was like the couple connected instantly and they soon got together. Bokuto would often turn up at Akaashi's find them sprawled out on the sofa, Y/n with her head in his lap, his fingers running through he hair as he read a book to her. Bokuto had gotten many pictures of them like this. He loved how relaxed Akaashi was around her, a way he hadn't seen with anyone else. 

He knew that she was going to say that. 

"Anyway I miss you my Romeo, I cannot wait to be home and in your arms again. I want to be in our little bubble of love and cuddles, of you reading to me while you play with my hair. I want to be in the studio with you listening to me sing my new songs and telling me which words would work better with the lyrics I have written." He laughed he did often sit in the studio with her after he finishes work, reading over her new lyrics and crossing out the odd word and putting one that worked better with the theme of the song. He loved watching her pick at the strings of her acoustic guitar playing a few cords and seeing if they worked when she ran her fingers over the keys of the piano. He loved that she could play different instruments.

"I love you so much, Romeo. I hope you sleep well. See you as soon as I can. Bye-bye, my sweet Romeo."

About three weeks later he was sat at his desk eating his lunch, watch the recent interview Y/n had with OK! Magazine. 

'So Y/n, when the tour is over what is the first thing you're going to do?' Chloe, the interviewer, asked 

'I think it will be sleep we've had some busy months recently, most days doing two shows to it is hard work.' He laughed along with his beloved. 

'We've been keeping up to date on your social media, who is this Romeo you keep mentioning, we often see and I quote, I miss you my sweet Romeo, or I love you, Romeo.' He would always reply, but his account was private so no one unless they followed him and accepted it. 

'My Romeo is waiting for me at home; I promised him I wouldn't mention him until he is ready for the spotlight as he isn't an actor or musician. But he is my Romeo, and I am very excited to get home and be with him again.'  He was so glad that she didn't spill the beans about their relationship. He already had enough of the spotlight with being friends with most of the Black Jackals team, he already has his pictures in magazines when the team goes out, and he gets dragged along with Kuroo by Bukoto and Hinata. 

'Can you tell us one thing about him?' Chloe pushed for more details about him. He loved how Y/n's nose would scrunch up, and her left eyebrow would shoot up as he tapped her chin in thought. 

'He was a volleyball setter in high school.' She smiled. Akaashi smirked at the fact she gave, there were many setters across the world, and narrowing down to him would be hard. 'And he is my bookworm,'

'A setter and bookworm, those don't often go together!' Chloe laughed, with Y/n soon joining her. 

'I know, and I have Shoyo Hinata and Kotaro Bokuto. But honestly, if it wasn't for him I'm sure some of my songs wouldn't make sense, a lot of my lyrics in my book have his scribbles in changing the odd word here and there, I would often wake up finding him hovering over my lyrics book a mug of coffee in hand proofreading them for me.' 

He couldn't help the chuckle that slipped past his lips at the dig at Bokuto and Hinata's dislike for books.

'He sound's like a gem! But back to the fact you've met the Black Jackals numbers twenty-one and thirteen. What are they like?" 

"I've met them all I know all the Black Jackals, all their school friends too, I met them all after a match against the Cheehle Ekaterinburg, an old friend Morisuke Yaku I knew from my middle school days invited me along, and that was where I met them. Those two boys even though they were bouncing around the court like anything they still had so much energy, I was shocked that anyone could keep up with them, it was like they were children who had just walked out of an all you can eat sweetshop.'

This caused Chloe to giggle. He liked the way Y/n slyly slipped in how they met.

'this Romeo of yours you didn't happen to meet him through your old middle school friend, did you? At this party' Akaashi's eyes widen as the interviewer hit the nail on the head, he was impressed at how Y/n kept her facial expression in check, just the usual smile she used for interviews, 

Saturday 5th of December 2015 was the day that Y/n finally returned home. She didn't tell Akaashi she was on her, she knew from Bokuto that they would be at his favourite restaurant that serves his favourite food, Nanohana no Karashiae, in a private room at the back. She drove her car into the car park of the restaurant, taking a deep breath she pulled on her cap and her dark sunglasses as she got out and walked into the restaurant, telling the waiter that she was here for the Bokuto party he nodded and showed her to the door. 

'Ah, well it was through mutual friends that we met.' He loved how she deflected the question, not letting them on that it was at the party they met.

He leaned his phone against the pen pot on his desk, leaving the video to play, while he got on with his work, the questions had now turned to make-up and what shampoo she was using. 

"Thanks, I'll be fine from here." She knew from the photo that Bokuto had put up on Twitter that Akaashi had his back to the door, purposely done for this exact reason. Pulling off the hat and glasses, she quietly opened the door slipping in and once again quietly shutting it. The room slowly went quiet as eyes suddenly locked on to her figure. Akaashi frowned at his friends, why did everyone stop talking all of a sudden and why Bokuto and Kuroo had whipped out their phones, pointing it at him, till he started to follow their line of sight.

"Happy birthday Romeo." She giggled as he slowly placed her back on the floor, their foreheads resting against one another.

"I'm home, my Romeo." His eyes instantly locked with hers the second he heard her voice, as the smiles so wide crossed their faces as he flew out of his seat wrapping her up in his arms, tightly as if he loosen his grip she would disappear again, he spun her around. He was ecstatic she was home.

Nine months, eleven days, sixteen hours and thirty-eight minutes since the last time he held her in his arms. Since he lasted kissed her. Since he last looked into her beautiful deep e/c eyes.

"You are the best birthday present I could ever ask for." He said as he entwined his fingers into her hair, pulling her into a deep kiss that was long overdue.

©️ All content  belongs to lilmissbeanie, do not copy, edit, repost or translate. 

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